#these boys are rotating I’m my brain like they’re in a microwave

[clowning-constant]

Making this a separate post cause Tumblr didn’t seem to like me using it to reblog my previous post but-

‘Relaxation Room’ concept for Floyd that I’m gonna try and render soon.

[its-your-mind]

ALWAYS rotating TAZ: Balance around in my brain like microwave but ESPECIALLY with the announcement of The Suffering Game graphic novel

The dope thing they can do (and are doing) with the graphic novel series is sprinkle in moments of foreshadowing and hints to the reader about what REALLY might be going on here, which is so cool and I’m a huge fan of it, especially when you’re telling a story in this form.

But what is REALLY FUCKING TASTY about Balance as a story is that none of the motherfuckers telling it had any clue what they were doing when they started

Gerblins is dick jokes and not knowing how dice work and making fun of each other for voices. LICHRALLY the scene where Taako grabs the Umbrastaff is immediately proceeded by Clint trying different voices for Merle while Justin begs him to stop, as Taako. Merle gets launched across the room cuz he failed his save, and now Taako has an umbrella. The scene moves on.

Griffin brought them up to the BOB, introduced them to the Director, and gave them memories of a war fought over nameless, lost, powerful but mysterious artifacts. The memory that Taako takes from it is the idea of soured cream (ya know, for his taco quest).

And then they’re off, on different adventures, making friends, saving lives, making more dick jokes, and Griffin is in the background, slowly building in the meta-plot, as all DMs do.

But this meta-plot was HUGE. It was ALL-CONSUMING. It completely changes everything we know about this world and these characters. It takes the moments of dick jokes, and arguments about character voices, and flirting with death, and adds a layer of tragedy and complexity that just wasn’t present the first time they told that story.

AND THAT’S WHY THIS STORY KICKS ASS. The vibe of the story changed as Tres Horny Boys grew closer and closer to remembering the lives they had lost, as Griffin upped the stakes, as people started dying. They still don’t know shit for most of The Suffering Game, but you absolutely could not have predicted the tone of that arc after just listening to Gerblins. It sounds like a completely different story. And so when the other shoe drops, when shit breaks bad, when it’s the end of the world… again, and they have to reclaim their Stolen Century…

It makes sense. The tone has shifted enough to accommodate that kind of change. The characters have grown (back) into themselves enough to make this work.

Because TAZ: Balance is a tragedy. But the tragedy happened before the podcast even started, and had been erased. So of course it started off with goofs and dildo jokes. Of course the three of them started being standoff-ish with each other and making light of every situation that should have had a lot more weight. They didn’t know what they had lost, and we, the audience, didn’t either. So it was easy to laugh and joke… until slowly, it wasn’t so much anymore.

Plenty of people have praised Griffin’s storytelling abilities, but I think the thing that was most impressive to me was how he took the disparate threads laid out behind the Boys on their adventures, and followed them backwards, into the story they had lost, and forwards, into the ending they earned. I fucking love that he settled on Istus as the deity to interact with them, because I don’t think there’s a better representation of the story Griffin was weaving behind the scenes of the arcs.

Story and Song wasn’t really an arc driven by dice rolls and role playing - but it wasn’t railroading either. Griffin took every story they had told, every happy ending they had fought for, and twined them around and through each other. The world was saved not because of a lucky nat 20 roll, but because every person they had helped through the story came out in force to fight beside them to save their world.

And so in the end, the Stolen Century was a tragedy. But The Adventure Zone: Balance was a story of hope, of family, of the power that just a few loveable doofuses can have when they move through the world, making friends and saving lives. So when the world was ending and they needed help, there were dozens of people waiting to hear the Story and the Song that would give them the push they needed to fight, and the hope they needed to win.

[daveyfvckingjacobs]

Don’t feel bad abt not responding!! You psychically couldn’t lmao. My friends were laughing at me cuz I got all sad when pinterest DMs went down. I was like “wait I wasn’t done autisming :(((“

while I’m writing the fic I’m gonna add to ur thoughts :))

Race has definitely been through shit and so has everyone he knows. He kinda subconsciously relates everything back to either himself or his friends, just like you was saying! They really don’t seem like monsters to Racer - even after hearing what Jack as to say about them - they seem the same as everyone else to him. In fact, in his mind they seem kinda similar to him and Jack?? And he really doesn’t like how Jack keeps avoiding his questions. - 🤠anon

I’m never done autisming all the autism hcs live in my brain I rotate them around like a microwave ngl

yes yes just yes tho - like, race sees that they’re rougher than him, much more violent but also similar? and the generalisation sort of frustrates him because he’s the kind of person who needs to know things. he can’t let it go unknown cause he’s that kinda of person. and he’s seen actual monsters: snyder, pulitzer, even weasel. oscar and morris aren’t that. closer to tommy boy and albert in being snappish, rising quickly to bait but monster? that’s harsh even for jack

and jack’s set on this mentality for his own reasons. the way they’ve hurt his boys, etc etc and he really wants race to drop it but hates shutting him down because he knows how insatiable his curiosity is. especially when race was younger and new to the lodgings he was deathly curious about them, asking all the time and trying to work out who they are which worried jack because he didn’t want him to get hurt. jack’s position as leader makes him much less inclined to change his opinions of people once they hurt him (self defence mostly for his newsies over himself) while race doesn’t have that and it’s a quiet, constant clash

[reddieorrnot]

10 + 21 please?? (I would die if you included pining best friends where everyone knows and it’s painfully obvious that they’re using bantering as flirting)

i keep telling myself i’m going to make the shorter, yet fail every time. i know this isn’t specifically what you asked for, but i hope it’s just as good! 

The Losers were absolutely tired of Richie and Eddie’s arguments, or at least that’s what the two called them. The rest of them always exchanged glances when they began to quarrel, yet quickly calming down. They all saw the way Richie would bluntly flirt with Eddie, more than anyone else. And they all saw how sometimes, when Eddie thought no one was looking, he looked at Richie like he put the moon and stars in the sky. Richie and Eddie had always masked their crushes on each other with fighting, that’s what Bill would tell the others. It wasn’t until around the age of thirteen where Richie would get pink looking at Eddie, or where Eddie would get defensive if anyone outside of their friend group made fun of Richie. It had been three years since then, and the two were still as clueless as ever. 

***

“Even the blindest could see they’re flirting,” Beverly said one day. 

She was the one person Richie had actually confided in that he liked Eddie. When it was just him and Beverly, he’d talk her ear off about the boy and how amazing he was. Beverly was convinced that if she had to go yet another year listening to Richie talk about how amazing Eddie was, she’d combust on the spot. 

The group had come together at Bill’s for their weekly movie night. It had been their tradition for a while, everyone always making sure at least two of them could go over to Bill’s. The group rotated turns for who could pick the movie. Beverly spoke only because the two of the given topic had not arrived yet, setting up the perfect time for an open discussion. She could easily assume that because Richie was in charge of picking tonight’s movies, they were running late because either Eddie didn’t like the movies he picked and they were trying to decide on better ones, or Richie forgot to pick the movies in general and now Eddie had to do damage control. 

Her comment brought forth a chuckle from Mike, who was stationed in the kitchen, preparing snacks with Ben. Or at least that was the given task, but currently, only Mike prepared any food because Ben had gone to the bathroom right before. Even though Ben had gone over to the Denbrough’s house countless times, he also found himself getting a little lost, this being the reason Mike had to find where Bill could have popcorn for the last five minutes by himself. 

Stan, as he claimed, was helping Bill get plates and napkins for the food they were going to have during the movie. It was clear, though, that Stan was actually just leaning against the counter next to Beverly reading a newspaper that Bill’s dad had left lying about earlier that day. 

Bill, on the other hand, was actually getting bowls and plates. It had been a funny occurrence many years ago when he had asked his parents if they could have at least seven of every plate. He had even offered to pay for some of the expenses. The losers were very grateful. 

“Their bickering makes me sick, I wish they’d just shut up and make a move,” Stan stated in an annoyed tone. Stan never got too much into conversations over Richie and Eddie like Beverly. He told his friends that he just wanted them to get together so they’d stop annoying everyone with their fighting. Stan would never admit though, that he found the idea of Richie and Eddie together quite cute. The other three laughed at Stan’s comment. 

“But God knows R-Richie won’t make the f-first move,” Bill said as he grabbed a bowl for the popcorn Mike was grabbing from the pantry. This caused Beverly to quirk an eyebrow, ready to defend her best friend. She knew that one of these days, Richie would gather up the courage to tell Eddie how he felt. No one got to dismiss the courage he was building up, not even Bill.

“I'm sorry, what? And you think Eddie will?” She retaliated, tone defensive. 

Bill turned around to face the redhead and scoffed, “Richie doesn’t have the balls to tell Eddie how he feels, obviously,”

Stan cut in before Bill could continue, “Perhaps he doesn’t have the balls, But Richie’s got the motormouth to let a confession slip out.”

“That isn’t the exact argument I’d make, Stan,” Beverly put her hand up in a high five, “But I’m glad you’re on my side.” Without looking up at her, Stan gave the girl a high five. She found humor in his deadpan expression and couldn’t help but giggle. 

“While I do agree that Richie’s got a mouth that runs for days,” Mike weighed in as he placed the popcorn bag into the microwave, “Eddie’s far more likely to just snap and talk about his feelings.”

“Mike! You traitor!” Beverly dramatically clutched her heart, a motion that reminded everyone of Richie. Stan rolled his eyes at the action but in no sense of rudeness. 

“Mike, my m-man! Knew you had a b-b-brain,” Bill nudged Mike with his elbow, the two cracking up.

The sound of footsteps came and Ben followed, eyes falling on him. He was going to tell him how silly it was that he always managed to turn down the wrong hallway when trying to find Bill’s bathroom, but he noticed everyone’s peculiar expression before even opening his mouth. All at once, all the friends began asking Ben questions, but Beverly’s was the one he automatically focused on.

“Ben! Who would make the first move? Richie or Eddie?” She asked him hurriedly. In all honesty, Ben didn’t know what his answer would have been, luckily Beverly quickly added on, “Richie, right?” 

He didn’t even think about it, because come on, it was Beverly. 

“Oh, yeah, duh.” 

Mike and Bill groaned and shook their heads. The group bickered again, each side laying out reasons why they were correct and everyone abandoning whatever task they had been attending to beforehand. The beeping of the microwave didn’t even bother Mike as he turned it off and quickly returned to explaining to Ben why Eddie would totally confess during the heat of an argument. Beverly wasn’t even letting Bill speak, channeling her inner Richie as she kept laying out points faster than the other boy could keep up. Stan would have joined in, and he would have made fair arguments, but an invisible light bulb went off on top of his head as he came up with an idea. 

Suddenly, Stan’s voice came out interested and intrigued. “How about we hold a bet?” 

All heads turned and looked at Stan. 

“W-What?” Bill was the only one who dared to speak with Stan as evil twinkled in his eyes. 

“If Eddie makes a move first, Bev, Ben, and I will be on movie night clean up for two months. If Richie makes the first move, then it’s you and Mike’s job.” 

The room went silent for a second, everyone considering the risks in their head. Movie night clean up the morning after was an absolute massacre. The teens made such a big mess that they usually had to work all together to clean up. Everyone would always be exhausted afterward, and getting to sit back during those cleanups would be like becoming royalty. And even if the prize hadn’t been so great, everyone was so set on being proven correct that it didn’t matter. 

“Deal,” Beverly said, glancing over at Ben. He looked incredibly nervous, but he calmed down when Beverly glanced his way. He then turned to Stan and gave him a nod. 

Mike and Bill whispered for a second, talking about how confident they were in Eddie. With Mike’s calmness and Bill’s reassurance, they both agreed they couldn’t go wrong. 

“Deal,” Bill told Stan, glaring at Beverly with competition building between them, considering they were the two who had started this talk in the beginning. 

Stan would say this was solely was to prove he was correct, but he also enjoyed the gleam of rivalry he saw in his friend’s eyes. Movie nights sometimes got boring, and this screamed enjoyment and fun for the friends. Stan briefly wondered what they would tell Richie and Eddie once the bet was completed, but he didn’t ponder on that for too long. The atmosphere was interrupted by a loud knocking on the front door. 

“Open up, fuckers! The party’s arrived!” 

“Richie, maybe you should try being a little louder? I don’t think goddamn Europe was able to hear you!” 

Everyone looked to the door, registering the familiar voices. Stan smirked as he put down the newspaper, and began walking to the door. Right before he got to it, he turned back around to face the rest of his friends. 

“Let it begin.” 

And then he opened the door. 

***

Beverly had been right about the movie set back. Richie had completely forgotten it was his week, and had frantically called Eddie asking for help. Eddie had gladly taken the opportunity to snag Richie’s picking week, and they spent about twenty minutes choosing something they could both agree on. The first movie that Eddie popped into the player, was The Karate Kid. Mike gave Eddie a big smile when he learned this, Eddie knowing it was one of Mike’s favorite movies. As everyone settled into the living room, Ben finally helped Mike out with the food aspect like he was supposed to do earlier. They brought out bowls of candy and popcorn, along with cups of soda for everyone. Stan had politely declined the soda, asking if Bill had any juice instead. Bill let Stan know that they had Stan’s favorite brand of apple juice in the fridge, just for him. Everyone let out an affectionate “Aww,” as Stan thanked Bill for thinking of him. 

Finally, everyone was ready for the movie to start. Beverly and Richie sat on one end of the couch, Beverly occasionally leaning her head on Richie’s shoulder when she got random spurts of feeling a tad tired, he didn’t mind. Next to Richie was Ben, who then was next to Bill. On another part connected to the couch sat Eddie and Mike, where they had offered to squeeze for Stan to sit beside them, but he had truthfully let them know liked having the side chair for himself. 

Richie hadn’t particularly opposed this choice for the film, just not understood what was so great about the movie, Especially what was so great about the main actor. He had to sit through two hours of Eddie’s eyes lighting up whenever Ralph Macchio came on screen, along with Beverly giggling at Richie. 

Sometimes Richie would mumble something about being able to do the same stunts that “that karate dumbass” could do. Stan watched Richie pout, knowing he had the bet in the bag. 

When the film finally came to an end, Eddie leaned back on the couch with a grin. 

“I never get tired of that movie,” he shared. 

“It’s not even that good…” Richie muttered. Eddie sat back up and looked at Richie, with daggers in his gaze. “What? Just being honest, Eds.” 

“Of all times, now is not the moment to call me ‘Eds’!” 

“I just don’t get why you like that movie so much!” Richie exclaimed, hand gestures wilding as he spoke. It was usually now where one of the other friends interfered and tried to break up the fight before it began. But now with the bet weighing in, they listened in intensely and dared not to speak. Eddie nor Richie noticed the silence surrounding them, continuing to go back and forth.

“Come on, Richie! Next, you wanna tell me Back to the Future is better!” 

Richie gasped, whether it was his intention to do it dramatically or not was a mystery. “Are you telling me you don’t think Back to the Future is better than this load of shit?” 

Eddie rolled his eyes, getting up and walking over to where Richie was, on the other side of the couch. He stood in front of Richie and pointed a finger in his face, presumably enjoyed the change of height dynamic between the two at the given moment. 

“Back to the Future doesn’t have Ralph.”

Richie pushed the finger out of his face and let out a huff of anger, then put on a girly high pitched voice. “Because Ralph Macc-whatever-the-fuck is just so cute!” 

“He is! And he’s cuter than you! You... You asswipe!” Eddie raised his voice, but not to the extent to which Bill felt any need to calm them down. 

“Ouch, I’m wounded, Eddie Spaghetti!” Richie’s voice didn’t sound as playful as it tended to be when he used that nickname for Eddie, instead he sounded utterly annoyed. 

“It’s Eddie! And you know what? Ralph is cute, and he’s cool too!” 

Eddie had already been fairly close to Richie’s face, it was needed to make sure Richie heard every remark he made. But without any warning, Richie brought himself even closer to Eddie, grabbing his arm (not too hard but what the others could see) and pulling him down to eye level. It was a swift moment, done so specifically that Eddie nearly gasped. His eyes were locked on Richie’s, forgetting other people even existed, so much as that there were people existing in the same room. 

The tension in the environment thickened, and Beverly’s, Stan’s, and Ben’s pulse quickened. This was it, Richie was going to kiss Eddie or some shit. Bill and Mike grew anxious, hoping Eddie would lean forward onto Richie’s face and not the other way around. Everyone just wished one of the boys would do something. The room was so quiet, for the quick second Richie didn’t speak, everyone could hear Eddie’s light, quick breaths. But no faces were grabbed, and no lips were crashed into one another. 

“Yeah, okay, but I’m cooler,” Riche simply sneered, waited for a second as he stared at Eddie’s so close face, and pushed his friend back. 

No one said a word as Richie stood up, grabbed his cup, and made his way out of the living room and to the kitchen. The only thing that eventually accompanied the sound of Richie pouring himself some drink was Eddie’s quiet, “Holy fuck.”

After Richie returned and things fell back into a more normal state, the gang watched another movie. Heathers was Eddie’s next movie, which no one had any complaints towards. Maybe at one point, Eddie wanted to comment on how attractive JD’s actor was, but he was still unnerved from the earlier situation, so he kept quiet on that matter. Once the film had reached its ending, and Stan decided to tell everyone a deep analysis of JD’s character, the group had called it time for a break. At first, they just sat around chatting together, until Richie excitedly piped up.

“Can we play truth or dare?” 

He got shrugs for responses, as everyone accepted the request. 

Things started off light, truths consisted of embarrassing questions and dares were simple yet uneasy ones. 

“I c-can’t believe you’re the o-one who set off that fi-fi-fire alarm last year.” Bill gaped at Beverly. 

Ben had asked her a simple truth, to tell them a story about herself that the group didn’t already know. It was a troubling truth, but Beverly quickly remembered a story. She had told them about how last year, after being fed up with Greta’s bullshit, she had managed to push a lit cigarette into Greta’s locker. Beverly didn’t quite so regret it, but she understood now that t was in fact, very stupid. 

“You fucking smoked her locker, Bev! That’s awesome!” Richie gave Beverly a light punch in the arm, earning a laugh in return, 

“All her papers caught on fire, Rich. It was an awful thing of me to do!”

“Still,” Richie leaned back against the wall, as they were all seated on the floor now, “It’s still pretty badass.” 

“Okay Trashmouth, your turn. Truth or dare?” 

Richie stared at Beverly for a second, letting a grin dance upon his lips. “I want a smoothie dare.”

Everyone’s eyes widened, and Beverly let out a shocked, “No!”

The group of friends had come up with an addition to the game of truth or dare a while ago, but mainly Richie used it. It was his idea, to begin with, so it made sense. A smoothie dare, named by Bill for simplicity, was a dare that could be backed out of, but only if the person drank a smoothie made of whatever the friends wanted in it. It was a dangerous option and was usually not taken. But sometimes, only sometimes, would Richie randomly feel the need to remind everyone that he was the king of truth or dare. This was one of those times.

“Richie, why can’t you just do a normal dare?” Mike asked, putting his hand on Richie’s shoulder, maybe as an attempt to bring him down to Earth. The whole group nodded along, especially Eddie. He hated it when Richie did smoothie dares, just watching him drink whatever gross drink the rest of the group conjured up made Eddie’s stomach weak. He didn’t like to think about kissing Richie for over a week after whenever he did these things. 

Wouldn’t matter if you didn’t think about kissing him, Eddie thought to himself. He liked Richie so much it bothered him. 

“Guys, I need to prove my superiority amongst the losers club!” Richie explained gleefully.

“So you want to prove you’re the biggest loser?” Stan quirked an eyebrow.

“Richie you already do that! All the time!” Eddie cried, trying his best to convince Richie against his choice, but it was no use. 

“Beverly, give me a smoothie dare.” 

“We gotta make the smoothie first, Eddie, you can stay here with Richie.” No one thought too much of Beverly’s commanding until they were all in the kitchen ready to talk about the smoothie’s ingredients. Everyone but Beverly was going through the cabinets and fridge, laying out the grossest things they could find. Once they had all finished, the boys realized Beverly had just been staring at them.

“Richie’s dare is gonna be to kiss Eddie,” She proclaimed. Bill automatically refuted and stepped forward.

“Hell no! That’s ch-cheating, you’re forcing h-him to make the fir-first move!” Bill quickly turned to Stan to get his intake.

“Well, Bill, Richie has the choice to drink the smoothie, which we all know he isn’t afraid to do.” 

Memories flooded within the group, of all the times Richie didn’t even need to drink the smoothie, just do whatever stupid dare, but he was fixed on making everyone feel queasy. Richie could most definitely drink the disgusting drink, he wasn’t scared of it.

While Beverly wasn’t confident that Richie would take this chance to make a move on Eddie, she knew she had to try. 

“Exactly. And, if I remember correctly, you said that Richie was afraid of any sort of confession to Eddie-”

“I said he didn’t h-have the b-balls,” Bill interrupted.

“Same thing, either way, you shouldn’t be scared about this.” Beverly finished and shrugged, looking over to Mike, who gave her a half-smile.

“It’s fine Bill, Richie won’t do it,” Mike reassured Bill, who simply sighed and nodded. Beverly beamed at the confirmation and turned to glance at Ben. She knew Ben was mainly just on her side because she had that impact on him, but that didn’t bother her, especially not right now. Ben gave her a kind thumbs up, that being the last thing she needed. 

“Let's make this fucking smoothie!” The girl laughed. 

“So what’s for dinner?” Richie strolled into the kitchen with his arm around Eddie, who looked like he’d rather not be within Richie’s hold. But they all knew that deep down, Eddie liked it.

Mike cleared his throat, and ignored how nauseous he felt as he listed off the smoothie’s ingredients. “Two eggs, link sausage, lemon pepper, two anchovies, uncooked but warm brussels sprouts, cold mustard, and pre-cooked liver.” 

While everyone else cringed, Richie threw his head back in laughter. 

“Holy shit! You guys went crazy with this one!” 

“We had to make it equal to how crazy the dare is,” Beverly smirked, grabbed a glass cup from the cupboards and filling it with the smoothie. Bill jumped up and sat on the counter, Mike mirroring his actions. The kitchen had started to get a little crowded, they both had noticed. The absence of their bodies freed up some space as Ben and Stan leaned back against the wall, opening the whole floor to Richie, Eddie, and Beverly, who was going to move in a second. Ben noticed a playful gleam in her eyes, something that danced with excitement. Richie’s eyes were intrigued, ready to take on whatever came at him, and Eddie’s eyes? They just looked downright fearful. 

“Alright, toots, what’s the dare?” Richie picked up the cup of his fate, and brought it up to his nose to smell, gagging at the stench.

“You gotta kiss Eddie.” 

The kitchen fell into a quiet state, Eddie’s mouth falling into a gasp. Richie’s eyes narrowed, staring right into Beverly’s. Richie wondered what she was up to, wondering why she’d use the knowledge of his infatuation of Eddie this way. He then wondered what would happen if he took the dare, if he didn’t drink the smoothie. Would Eddie let him? Would Richie finally get to diminish his thoughts that questioned what kissing his best friend would feel like? But then they’d question why he took the dare, and didn’t drink the smoothie, because Richie always went the extra mile to let everyone know he was daring like that. So Richie tore his eyes off of Beverly and turned to face Eddie. Who apparently, had been staring right back at him. The silence was becoming too much for Richie.

“Any way I can double team, drink the smoothie and kiss my Eds?” He joked, trying his best to put up an image that contrasted what he really wanted to do.

Ben cut in, shaking his head. “No, Rich, you gotta pick one.” 

“Yeah like I’d ever even let you get anywhere near me after drinking that shit!” Eddie’s outburst wasn’t essentially out of anger, but anxiety. What was Richie going to do? Eddie knew what he was going to do. Richie was going to drink that goddamn smoothie because it was probably less disgusting to Richie than kissing Eddie. The concept bred sadness deep within Eddie, but he pushed it down. Richie surprisingly chuckled and moved closer to Eddie. 

“Oh please, you know you’d be all over me no matter what smoothie I just had,” He purred, making a red tint spread across Eddie’s cheeks. 

“Sure, fuckface, if you drink that shit and even come a foot near me I’ll beat your ass to the moon!” 

Everyone caught onto Eddie’s excessive swearing something that struck a chord within them all, except Richie, who only found it exciting. 

“My little cutie wants to beat my ass? Kinky!” He said, still moving in closer to Eddie, who looked frantic for a comeback. 

“Shut up, Richie!” 

Finally, Richie was right in front of Eddie, looking down at him. Eddie noticed how glossy and dark Richie’s eyes were, and he didn’t know if that made him more nervous or less. Every single feeling he had ever had for Richie came together within him, creating one huge adoration. So close Eddie swore he could see the ocean’s waves in Richie’s blue eyes, and Richie could see the specs of gold in Eddie’s big, brown eyes. 

“You keep saying how you’ll fuck me up and everything,” Richie began in a low voice, “But Eddie, you’re not very intimidating.” 

The world seemed to crumble around Eddie, and Richie was the only thing that remained. His brain repeated Richie’s name over and over again, to every detail on his face to every piece of banter they had ever shared. From every time Eddie wished he could just shut Richie up with his lips, to every time Richie had been there for Eddie when he needed him most. Of course, Eddie wasn't very intimidating. Intimidation was something used to make people cower before you, drive them away. That wasn’t what Eddie wanted Richie to do. He wanted Richie close, as close as he could get. He never wanted to drive Richie away, or make him cower away. That’s all he ever wanted. And by the way Richie was looking in Eddie’s eyes right now, how Eddie could hear Richie’s shallow breaths, he risked assuming that’s what Richie wanted too. That he wanted Eddie. 

“I’m not drinking the smoothie, Beverly,” Richie spoke up again, not leaving his gaze from Eddie. That had confirmed Eddie’s speculation, it had confirmed everything Eddie wanted to be true. 

Behind Richie and Eddie, the group of friends displayed different expressions and emotions. Bill and Mike, who interiorly were upset at losing the bet, had their mouths hung in shock. Stan's eyes were wide, watching the scene before him. Ben, had the biggest grin on his face, happy for his friends. And Beverly, well she had the most satisfied smirk, knowing she had done her job and wasn’t going to be cleaning up any movie night messes for a while. 

But before Richie could complete his dare, Eddie took control.

It as Eddie who brought his hands up, put them on Richie’s cheeks, and pulled him down.

It was Eddie who couldn’t take it any longer, the waiting. He had been waiting for years, wondering when Richie would realize he had been standing there the whole time. He couldn’t hold back anymore. 

It was Eddie who crashed his lips into Richie’s, closing the space between them and hopefully opening a new chapter. 

Kissing Richie was like finally getting to breathe, as if he had been suffocating for the last sixteen years of his life. And in a way, he had been suffocating. The way his mother had always smothered him, forever making him feel weak. And she had done it so much, it had convinced Eddie that he was gentle, delicate, never to be tested or given freedom of choice. When he met Richie as a kid, he never understood why someone so loud, noisy, and chatty could make him feel happier than his quiet and calm home. Then, one day, Eddie had realized why. The calm and quiet house made Eddie feel like he was being put away in a shelter, because he was too fragile to be outside in a louder environment. But when he was with Richie, whether it was at school or while they hung out, he had never felt so strong. The way Richie let him bicker, let him spit insults that made him feel witty and quick. And how Richie always built up a fire in Eddie, making him feel powerful. The day they were in Richie’s room, and Eddie had spoken about wanting to leave Derry and make a life for himself, and Richie told him he could do anything he wanted. That was the day Eddie knew that Richie made him better, made him feel alive. Richie made Eddie feel more mended than any medicine his mother shoved down his throat ever did. Richie made him feel like he could do anything, just like kissing the best friend he had liked for years in his other friend’s kitchen. 

Kissing Eddie was the opposite, it was like coming home. Like Richie had been lost for so long, trying to find the one place he felt okay, and he had finally come across it. And that was more or less how it actually was. Richie always felt let he didn’t belong where he was, quickly trying to make himself fit in by making jokes and making people laugh. He had this fear that the people he cared most about didn’t really care for him that he was simply there because they merely put up with him. He sometimes felt that way at home, even though he knew his parents loved him, he couldn’t help it. He wondered if they wished they had gotten a boy who didn’t run his mouth so much, or who got in trouble less at school. He wondered if his friends really did mean the comments they made about him sometimes, if he really did deserve the nickname Trasmouth. But from the day Richie met Eddie, he couldn’t ignore the way the small boy made Richie want to try harder. He wanted to try harder to make Eddie laugh, and not because he was worried Eddie didn’t like him, because God, he loved Eddie’s laugh. He wanted to try harder with his behavior in school, not because of his parents, but because Eddie was so well behaved, and Richie couldn’t be around him as often if he was always in for detention. Eddie made Richie better, whether he knew it or not, and his comments never really bothered Richie. Not since the day a few years ago, where they were in Eddie’s room, and Richie’s doubt engulfed him. He had asked Eddie if he ever really meant the mean things he said, to which Eddie quickly said no to. Ever since that day, Richie never saw any cruelty behind Eddie’s words, because he also saw the way Eddie’s cheeks got warm when Richie teased him. Richie felt safe with Eddie, no doubt or anxiety, it was home. 

Richie was the one to pull away, breathless and in need of knowing if that had actually happened, or if he was dreaming. The way he watched Eddie’s eyes flutter open, and stare right back at him, as enough of an answer. 

“Wait, so who made the first move?” Ben spoke, leaving Eddie and Richie confused. They turned around to face their friends, which they had forgotten about. 

Before either of them could ask what Ben meant, Mike replied. 

“It was Eddie, he pulled Richie in.” A small smile moved its way onto Eddie’s lips. 

Beverly shook her head, “No, Richie’s the one who said he wanted to kiss Eddie.” 

“But he didn’t actually d-d-do it!” Bill declared. 

“But Eddie wouldn’t have done anything if Richie hadn’t basically said he wanted to kiss Eddie,” Stan remarked, shrugging. 

“Exactly, Stan!” Beverly’s agreement simply sent the friends into a deeper argument over who had won the bet, in which Eddie stood there trying to figure out was going on. And he would’ve eventually pieced it together, had Richie not grabbed him by the hand to bring him back to the living room, making sure they got some privacy this time. 

***

When Eddie and Richie did learn about the bet, they decided it was only fair that they were the two they got to sit out during movie night morning clean-ups, it was what the two deserved after all.

[lilacsolanum]

Animorphs October: Found Family

Set around a year after the war. Read on AO3.

I’m way cooler than all the other hawks in the forest, and it’s not just because of the whole sentience thing. What was way more important was my phone.

It wasn’t a phone as much as it was a very small, very light, very tight thought-speak capable device that people could call when needed. Cassie sort of forced it on me. I didn’t really want it at first, but she’s kept her promise to never give anyone but Loren the number. I always keep it on my ankle, and it zips into z-space like a morphing suit.

It’d gone off twice today, which was really weird. I mean, if only two people ever contact you, then it’s pretty wild when they do so at the same time. I called Cassie back, but got her answering machine. She was probably busy. I called Loren, and she answered right away.

“Tobias!” she said, bright and happy. Loren was always really quiet and reserved back in the Valley, but now that she’s sort of found her footing, she’d gotten a lot more confident. I guess she had been really twisted inside because of the way her family treated her when she lost her memory, and she didn’t have a ton of friends. Now she had more understanding of why her memory was lost, and had a community. All the parents had gotten pretty close in the Hork Bajir Valley, I guess. They kept in contact more than the Animorphs. Sometimes she even went out into the city with Eva, even if she found anything but farmland really overwhelming. I understood that more than anyone.

Loren was really changing. I felt proud of her, in a weird, distant sort of way. I mean, it’s not like I had any part in it, but I was just really glad she was using her friends for support and getting better. It’s more than I can do.

<Hi, Loren,> I said. The phone could understand my thought-speak. It was some Andalite tech that humans weren’t supposed to have yet, but Cassie had pulled some strings. I wonder if Ax helped her. I hope Ax is happy. I think about him a lot, but I don’t really contact him or anything. He’s back on Andalite now, and a Prince at that. He’d achieved all his dreams. I’d just bring him down.

“Happy birthday!” she said. I blinked and ruffled my feathers, even if she couldn’t see.

<Uh,> I said. <Thanks.>

That explained why I’d gotten two phone calls in one day. The passage of time had gotten a little skewed for me these days. I sort of wish it hadn’t. I hate it when people remember my birthday, and would have liked to have been more prepared. I feel like I have to pretend to be excited about it, put on a face to make others feel comfortable. In reality, I had no attachment to my birthday. It was just another day. It pretty much went unnoticed by my aunt and uncle, unless my aunt was dating someone and wanted to show off how great a parent she was. Honestly, those birthdays were the worst ones.

“Are you close to my place?” asked Loren.

I thought about it. I flew around a lot, sort of doing my own version of a post-high school road trip, except it was a sky trip and also I never graduated from high school. I was in southern California, though. I could be at Loren’s in a few hours or so.

I thought about lying, but before I could finish the thought, I found myself saying, <Yeah, I’ll be there around eight, maybe.>

---

I was there at 7:46, according to Loren’s microwave clock. I’d morphed human, of course. I never felt really comfortable being a hawk around Loren. It seemed sort of disrespectful, like, she’d carried me in her body for nine whole months and then what did I go ahead and do? I become bird boy. It sort of felt like wearing an itchy sweater grandma knitted for you so she wouldn’t be offended, except, you know. Way worse, and also super, super weird.

That didn’t mean I felt really comfortable as a human at all. I felt heavy and slimy and my mouth kept filling up with nervous saliva, which was disgusting. It was so foreign to me. My cheeks were just flooding with recycled fluid for no reason! I wanted to spit it out on the ground and get it all out of me, like I could empty myself of all the complicated hot chemicals that run inside my human body. I know my hawk form is complicated and gross to some, but they just don’t get it. It’s not at all like being human. I was all excess and hormones and adrenaline and I wanted none of it.

I sat very still on Loren’s couch. She’d given me a glass of milk, which was the only good thing about visiting Loren. I shivered with the taste of it. It was creamy and slightly sweet and cold. I sipped at it slowly, imagining it was cooling off my burning human body.

Loren had left the room. I shifted nervously, clutching the milk between my hands like it was a lifeline. Eventually, she returned with a giant cardboard box filled with brightly wrapped presents. I’m sure my face was as blank as always, but I felt a tensing in my shoulders where the ghost of my wings lay.

“What is that?” I said, feeling my body run into a really wired fear mode. I ignored it. One good thing about not really connecting to a human body is that you didn’t have to deal head on with all the dumb stuff it did.

“Your presents!” she said, smiling broadly and gesturing toward the box.

I blinked. “I don’t need any presents,” I said. Some voice in my head reminded me that that wasn’t the right response. Loren probably was looking for some sort of excitement or appreciative noise. But what I said was true, and it’s how I felt, and sometimes that’s the thing that comes out of my mouth first.

She didn’t seem to mind. “I figured you’d say that, but I thought it would be fun just to open them. Here --”

She thrust a package out to me. It was weirdly shaped. Flat, but bulging out in the middle. I took it gingerly, then stared at it.

“Open it!” urged Loren, her eyes dancing with mischief.

I started to move it around in my hands, then stopped. I looked up at Loren. “Do I have to rip it open?”

Loren blinked, her cheerful expression seeming to falter a little. “What? What do you mean?”

I shrugged. I think I was blushing a little. “I really don’t like the sound wrapping paper makes when it’s torn, and I. I sort of think it hurts? The whole thing sort of rubs me the wrong way, I guess. So I like to open up gifts by pulling apart at the tape.” I also got a really weird satisfaction rush from seeing a completely whole piece of wrapping paper, but this was all already so weird, and I felt that’d confession would be a step too far. “My au- uh, Brandi, she hated when I did that. She said it took so long, and that I should just rip it.” She also said I was making up that it hurt, but that seemed like another thing I shouldn’t say to Loren.

“My goodness, Tobias, no! Open it up however you like!” said Loren, her voice going all high like she was shocked. I felt bad for bringing up my aunt. She always got upset when I said anything about her. I quickly started to peel off the tape, opening the package as fast as I could.

When I took the wrapping paper off, I saw a pacifier.

I had so little idea of how to react that I actually had a reaction. My mouth dropped, just a little. “I, um. Are you -- is this, like, like you’re pregnant? So you’re telling me I’m going to be a big brother with this pacifier?”

Loren burst out laughing. I was still really confused, but her laugh soothed me, just a little. She didn’t always laugh back in the Valley, so when she did it, I felt really comforted. Like, if Loren can go through all that she went through and still laugh, then maybe things aren’t so terrible.

“No, not at all. Good guess, though. Alright, here’s my plan,” she said, sounding really proud, like Cassie did when an animal they thought wouldn’t make it finally got released back into the wild. “You and I didn’t get to grow up together. Right?”

“Yeah,” I said. I shifted a little, yearning for a feather to preen. I don’t remember how to fidget in my human body anymore.

“So that means I missed nineteen birthdays,” said Loren.

“Uh,” I said. “I guess.”

“So I got you nineteen presents,” she said. “One for every year I missed.”

I didn’t react. It’s not just because I’m bad at reacting, it’s because I just went completely blank. It was like every brain function I have just sort of stopped and stood in awe of this woman, and the fact that she actually cared anything about me.

She paused, searching my face. “I know you don’t really want even a normal present, nevermind, like, a pacifier. I’m going to donate all this stuff when we’re done. I just thought it’d be a good memory.” Then she dug into the big box again. She pulled out another present and thrust it at me. “Here,” she said. “This is for your second birthday.”

Somehow, I ended up with the present in my hand. Somehow, I opened it. My human self, as terrible as it is, had completely taken over. My fingers deftly pulled at the wrapping paper. I did like fingers. Fingers were really good. I wish I could have wings and fingers at the same time.

I pulled out some sort of plastic ring with rotating primary colors. I looked up at Loren. “What is this?” I asked.

“A teething ring,” she said. “I went shopping for a lot of the early stuff with Eva. She said two years teethe, which is why they’re notorious monsters. They’re all in terrible pain. They get stuff to chew on for when the pain is too great. Well, Eva said two is a little old for that sort of teething ring, but, you know. Close enough.”

“Oh,” I said. That’s all I could say. I was still in emotional stasis, still more concerned about my fingers than I was the objects in front of me. “Um. Next one?”

Year three was this cool little pop up tent I would have loved as a kid. Year four was a set of those really big Legos. Year five was crayons, because I would have started kindergarten, and they were name brand and everything. The set even had one of those crayon sharpeners in the back. I always wanted one of those. Year six was a toy dinosaur. Loren told me she’d done her research, and knew I had a major dinosaur phase. She’d probably talked to Cassie. I just asked for the next present.

That’s all I could do. Open the presents, set aside the perfect rectangle of paper, and then set aside the gift. I didn’t have enough voice to say thank you. I couldn’t tell Loren how much I loved the crayons.

Year seven was a Jenga set. Loren had got it because Eva told her Jake and Marco used to love Jenga. She said she wanted to play it with me. The idea of playing a game where a tower would suddenly and loudly crash made me feel tense, but maybe it would have been fun with Loren. Year eight was a rock polisher. That was really nice. Year nine was a bike. An actual bike. She brought it in from the hallway. Some lucky kid was going to love that thing when she donated it. I didn’t tell her I never learned how to ride a bike. It’d just make her upset.

Year ten was this sort of toy microscope that was something close to a real microscope, just made out of plastic. I should have been so happy, because that was a really cool gift, but I just kept worrying about how much money she spent on me. It was really weird feeling, especially since most of her money was technically mine. I gave her all the spoils from my rewards and royalties and life rights. What was I going to do with it? Pierce my beak and wear the Hope Diamond? I had no reason to feel guilty, she had plenty of money, she could do something big like this. I mean, it was for a good cause at the end of the day, right? But I felt guilty anyway. I felt really, really guilty, and almost shamed. This must have taken so much work to organize. Maybe her money was sort of mine, but her time wasn’t, and she’d used so much of it for me.

I still couldn’t bring myself to really say anything.

Loren was starting to look sort of deflated. I couldn’t blame her.

Year eleven was a really cool, really fancy art set. I once told her I used to draw, and I guess she remembered. This one was really great. I had no possessions, but I wanted to keep this set. I wanted to put it in some storage locker and live the rest of my life knowing it was there for me, smooth and new and shining and waiting for whenever I wanted to use it.

Year twelve was a version of Trivial Pursuit designed for seventh graders. I didn’t tell her I was still in fifth grade when I was twelve. I got held back for missing a ton of school one year when my aunt made me stay home for almost two months, then I got held back again because both my aunt and uncle lost some paperwork in a school transfer that lead to me repeating fourth grade. I never brought it up, so all the other Animorphs thought we were the same age. Only Loren really knew, and only because she knew the exact year she lost her memory. I guess she never knew I was in the same grade as the others. Probably because I dropped out of school when I was fifteen and started mouse hunting.

The next present was a copy of A Wrinkle In Time. Loren wrote “For Tobias. Happy thirteenth birthday. From, mom.”

I set it next to me quick, like it was burning my skin. “I need to demorph,” I said, and ran out the door. I didn’t need to demorph, not at all. I had plenty of time, but I desperately, desperately needed to fly.

---

It was late when I got back to Loren’s. I morphed right on her doorstep, and rang her doorbell three times. She came out in pajamas. Then, I did something I’d never really thought to do before.

I hugged her.

I never really liked hugs. My aunt would make me do them when she was done screaming at me, and the hug was always some symbol that she was absolved of all guilt and everything would be fine going forward. Only Rachel ever made me feel okay with an embrace. I tried not to think about Rachel these days, but as I held Loren, I sent a thank you out to wherever she is now. I hope she heard. I could never have hugged Loren if it hadn’t been for Rachel.

“A Wrinkle In Time is my favorite book,” I said against her shoulder. Her body sort of shook, and I think I heard a sob.

We pulled away from each other. I took a deep breath. “I love it,” I said. “I love all of it. I love all of it so much that I don’t know how to tell you.”

She smiled at me, and her eyes were shining like she had tears in them. “I love you too, Tobias. I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone.” She leaned forward and grabbed me again, holding me a lot closer than I had held her. She even rested her head against my chest. It was a little much, but I bore it, because she was Loren.

We were never going to be mother and son the way Eva and Marco were, or Jean and Jake, or Michelle and Cassie. Loren was right, we hadn’t grown together. I didn’t know her as a parent in the same automatic way that I see in other families. She had never hung my drawings on the fridge, never kissed away my bruises, never walked me to the school bus. But she was a mother all the same, my mother, my family, and she made me feel loved. She had bought me a dinosaur. She had bought me a bike. She had bought me my favorite book.

I felt something strange and hot on my face. I tensed, assuming it was some sort of weird human decay thing, and then I relaxed. I was just crying. I’ve never cried because I was happy before.

Loren let me go and smiled at me. “I know you get nervous when you’re around people too long,” she said, gently. It wasn’t accusing like it sometimes was when Cassie said it. It just was. “But you know you can come see me whenever you want, right? You know that?”

“I do,” I said.

“Good,” she said. “Because I need practice reading, and I have no idea what this book is about. I’d love to read it together.”

I laughed a little. I don’t normally laugh outside thought-speak, but the idea of a mother stumbling through some of the longer words while her son patiently waited was sort of funny in a dark, twisted kind of way. I guess that’s what our family was. Funny, dark, twisted, but us, and we loved each other for it.

[insanemoonfish]

Why! those useless, vain forms are! so fun to fill!

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More cereal than milk, because I already get my daily intake of milk with my coffee!

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? No because it ends up messing with my nose! And I hate feeling cold!

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? I usually read on my phone or memorize the page number. If I really need a bookmark I just use a scrap of paper.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? Tea bag in mug with hot microwaved water, coffee powder in mug with hot microwaved milk (plus cinnamon, sweetener, and vitamins).

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Not really but I dislike my face in general :'D I have this thing where I don't truly recognize my face as my own ???

6: do you keep plants? No, but I may keep a garden in the future because I love flowers!

7: do you name your plants? I'm the kind of person who names RPG characters as their class! So my plants would have very creative names like Rose and Carnation!

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? I don't really express my feelings, I stomp on them! But I guess I can draw!

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Yes, it's fun and keeps me awake!

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Side until I'm drowsy enough, then on my back like in a coffin!

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? What friends!??!? Jokes?? AHAHA

12: what's your favorite planet? Shockingly I don't have one! I like Uranus because it's light blue but the name!!!!!

13: what's something that made you smile today? MEMES!

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Like hell!

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! Why... okay. "Neutron stars can spin at a rate of 600 rotations per second." IDK if this is true!

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? Instant emergency noodles!

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? White! I wanna be a white-haired animu grill!

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. What! Friends!!!

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? Yes, I write down my nightmares! It makes them less frequent and scary for some reason!

20: what's your favorite eye color? Grey, maybe! All are great!

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. I have had a few school backpacks like that!

22: are you a morning person? I can function at morning, but I without a doubt work better at night! Not sure if that counts as not being a morning person!

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? HAHAHAHAHAA!!!

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? I DON'T EVEN TRUST MYSELF

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? WHY WOULD I EVER- some abandoned houses, some classrooms, some janitor's closets, some school storerooms,

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? Boots > shoes :)

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? TUTTI-FRUTTI!!!! I'M CHEWING SOME RIGHT NOW

28: sunrise or sunset? SUNSET. SUNRISE SUCKS not only because it lasts for exact 5 seconds BUT BECAUSE IT'S COLD and school time! Sunsets are cool because they remind me of DEATH!

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? IDK I'm easily impressed most people can just breathe and I'll find it "endearing" and fascinating

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? YEAH DAMNED NIGHTMARES JUST

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I LOVE SOCKS, THERE ARE 0 REASONS TO NOT LOVE THEM. But I don't sleep with them unless it's very cold. And black socks all the way.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. R E G R E T S

33: what's your fave pastry? IS THE CAKE THING OF A PETIT GATEAU A PASTRY? I DON'T KNOW MANY OF THEM AND I'M TOO TIRED TO GOOGLE IT

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? PURA THE TIGER, named after the tiger from Crash Bandicoot. It was the Parmalat tiger without the milk bag that I cut off. No, I donated it because it made me nostalgic.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Whas this :'D I don't care about pretty I literally only bring 2 cheap black retractable pens to school

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? Don't ask me about music THANK YOU

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Clean because I'm allergic to dust!

38: tell us about your pet peeves! When people assume things about me hhhhhhhhh

39: what color do you wear the most? Black, reds and navy 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? A silver necklace with a black pendant! IT REMINDS ME OF DEATH!!1 I'M REPEATING MYSELF!

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? The Miserables! Even though I don't remember it well, even after reading it TWICE! HOW! YOU GO, ME!

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! I HAVE COFFEE AT HOME ONLY ‘CAUSE I’M BROKE

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Don't remember, wasn't special

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? TODAY. IN THE CORE OF THE STRESS ZONE LIES A SERENITY ZONE, ALWAYS. CAN'T MISS IT.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? NO. FUCK INSTINCTS

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. I'M TERRIBLE AT THESE AND I CAN'T THINK AT THE MOMENT.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? P E P P E R

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? ANGRY PEOPLE CHASING ME TO HURT ME IN VARIOUS WAYS! YES!

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? NO! LONG LIVE ONLINE PIRACY!

50: what's an odd thing you collect? NIGHTMARES!

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? I won't say names but there's A BOY, MY ANNOYING FRIEND WHO'S AN ENDLESS UNWANTED SOURCE OF SHITTY MEMES, that I always associate with the song "The Worse It Gets" from Penguin Prison.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? OH there's that jojo "to be continued" one, that brain illumination one, that one where a picture gets less and less detailed I don't even know

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? Look this thing seemed smaller a few minutes ago and I want to finish it quickly and go to sleep

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? I'm the worst at recognizing what others are feeling and I don't pay attention because it's rude to stare and not my business

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? I feel that I have a lot of examples of this but can't remember a single one

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? When they're insecure, it's amusing like oh don't be like that I really am NOT judging you you're amazing, unless they're really nasty ppl ofc

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? I like this song it's funny and reminds me of an old friend

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? ROFL WHAT

59: what's your favorite myth? Again I FEEL I can answer this but right now my brain is not working

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? I like poetry when it relates to me or when someone I know wrote it, otherwise I don't bother (UPDATE! Ye Wearie Wayfarer by Adam Lindsay Gordon RULES!!)

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? My memoryyyyyy

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? If I'm having last night's dinner for breakfast, yes, orange juice

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? YES. ORGANIZED AND VERY CLEAN.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? BLACK AS MY NOT-RUNNING SYNAPSES

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? I'd rather keep them buried in my deepest thoughts, far away from my superficial consciousness!

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? My  a e s t h e t i c  sense is terrible but I like carnations and forget-me-nots

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Bad, I like the sky when it's blue

68: what's winter like where you live? Rainy, lots of fog, unpredictable weather.

69: what are your favorite board games? mmmmmmmmm IDK

70: have you ever used a ouija board? ughhhhhhhhhha

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? Chamomile, it reminds me of my favorite horror game, Demento, and it’s sweet and delicious and pretty

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? If I didn't make an effort to memorize it, yes

73: what are some of your worst habits? Biting my nails, neglecting people, being paranoid about some stuff, procrastinating, brushing my feels aside, I could go on,

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Well that's hard how about CANDY

75: tell us about your pets! THEY'RE GREAT IT'S A SHAME THEY'LL DIE SOON

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? Obviously. Just OBVIOUSLY

77: pink or yellow lemonade? Pink, love pink, pink all the way, all the pinks.

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? The IDC club

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Offer me their jacket when it started raining it was just AWWW. And when someone promised to be my friend FOREVER!!!!! HAHAHAA

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Nope because the bedroom is not mine HAHAHA well if I had one I'd paint everything white 81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Chocolate, very sweet, much creativity

82: are/were you good in school? Can't you tell

83: what're some of your favorite album art? Don't ask me (8) about music (8)

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? Absolutely not, it hurts, it attracts attention, it makes people know about me... If I ever got one It’d be a word or sentence or a small symbol

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? Webcomics only, I’m... too lazy

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? Yes but... Lazy

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Cosmos is not a movie but here I am talking about Cosmos again idk if you don’t like documentaries go watch Gran Torino 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? I’m sure there is but my brain is out

89: are you close to your parents? No unfortunately

90: talk about one of your favorite cities. Any safe and at least moderately urban city is fine with me

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? Nowhere, I don't really like traveling, it's stressful and expensive

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? I DON'T LIKE PASTA OR CHEESE FIGHT ME

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? Long, layered, side bangs

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Why does this matter

95: what are your plans for this weekend? Working.. WORK.. AHAHA

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? I never install them, when I HAVE to I plan for it because it takes forever

97: Myers-Briggs type, zodiac sign, and Hogwarts house? INTP Leo Bronzebird

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? No because I was with my parents

99: list some songs that resonate with your soul whenever you hear them. So damn many I should make a list

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Wow hum... 5 years into the past I guess because I'd be able to study more and live longer (why living longer sounds smart to me? I must like to suffer)