#these aren't good but it was to write down my new year resolution (no)

[cyanide-butter]

I barely drew at all last year, so all the asoiafs I've are paint chat doodles. I hope I get to draw better things this year. And to learn about historical fashion...

If you think these look too much like if they were from a 90s RPG, there are straight up 90s RPG crossovers under the cut.

(these were dumb inner jokes. I love fe4 too much.)

[eliluvschan]

New Year's Resolution?

pairing: bang chan x reader

word count: 928

warnings: little bit of cursing, just relationship things.

genre: fluff

a/n: happy new year everyoneeee

i opened my closet, ready for the day. i had to get my beanie from the top shelf, which is very high. i got on my toes, still no use. hey it's not my fault i'm a shorty.

then suddenly, two hands grabbed my a- little- exposed waist and lifted me up. i grabbed my purple beanie with different coloured pom poms and set me back down. he put his chin on my shoulder.

''good morning, shorty.'' he said in a sexy raspy voice. i relaxed into him. ''morning sunshine. happy birthday to mother nature.''

he chuckled really softly and by his lightly swaying figure against me, i could tell he was either half asleep, or just smiling with his eyes closed. ''mmm.'' he mumbled.

''okay, let's get ready.'' i said trying- yes trying to straighten up. ''no.'' he said and began to slowly drag me back into bed. yeah, and i'm such a goof that i let him. i'm supposed to be the more responsible one here. wow.

he softly pushed me into the beige quilt, eyes still closed and a cute smile playing on his soft pink plush lips. ''what's your new year's resolution?''

''sleep more, and spend more time with my girl.'' he said yawning and cuddling into my side. ''good night.''

''that's cute.''

he chuckled but kept his eyes closed.

''but, Chan?''

''hmm?''

''be serious please.''

''get in better shape.''

''you're in perfect shape.'' i told him, running my hands slowly over his belly.

''don't you want those hot packs of abs?'' he asked, finally opening his enchanting eyes. first one's of 2024.

''nope.'' i said, and traced my finger down to his V. he gasped at the sudden touch. ''i'm good with your sexy V-line.'' i said, smirking. ''really?'' he asked. i nodded in response.

''really?'' he asked again.

''yep, and if you really want to start working out, make sure your body doesn't turn out like Changbin. one Dorito chip is enough for the group and i kinda like your body how it is now.''

i finished the sentence and burst out in laughter as Chan also started laughing.

''yeah, one is enough.''

''okay, okay. i'll make sure my freakishly sexy V-line doesn't go anywhere.''

''good.''

''remember how i used to watch the other member's abs when i was just a fan?'' i ask him, he looks at me with wide eyes.

''you looked at their abs?'' he says sassily, holding a hand to his heart.

''duh. i mean, every Stay does it as well!'' i defend myself.

''so, what's your new year's resolution?''

''stay away from you as much as possible.''

''Jagiya!'' i squeal.

i laughed and pecked his lips. ''kidding.''

—❀— 

''Channie, where are you?'' i asked, shouting around the house.

he came out of the bathroom, wearing a tank top and some shorts.

''you're coming with me.'' he said.

''why?'' i asked.

''your new year's resolution.'' he said.

''and that is?''

''kiss me every time i lift a dumbbell, and every time i do a push up.'' he said happily, smiling like a kid who got a giant box of his favourite candy for Christmas.

''don't i have better things to do?'' i asked, crossing my arms.

''is there something better than kissing me?'' he asked, his eyebrows disappearing under his bangs.

''of course! ironing your pants, walking Berry, reading, writing, sketching, messing with your sound system thingie...'' i said, counting on my fingers.

he pouted, angrily? pressed me against the wall, grabbed me and kissed me harshly. i kissed back thinking 'woah this guy can kiss!' okay, harsh but woah. he pulled away, panting, his grip on my shoulders very tight. ''Channie you aren't serious are you?'' i asked, still breathing hard.

his face cleared, and he looked down. ''sorry. got jealous.'' he murmured. i lifted his chin and kissed him one more time. ''i love you, okay? and i'll come to the gym with you.'' i smiled.

—❀— 

''one!''

kiss.

''two!''

another kiss.

''three!''

and another.

''i could do this all day!''

another.

...after fifty times of lifting dumbbells, he did push-ups and made me lay underneath him. then i made him pick me up and run around. that was the best one. despite the fact that the trainers told us off- twice. but we had fun.

''baby!'' he yelled running into the house, sweaty, hot, stinking. the second day, we decided that i'll go to the gym with him once a week. he was satisfied and no more problems.

''you were right.'' he said, gulping down a bottle of water.

''i was right?''

''yes. one, i don't want to lose my 'sexy V'.'' he said emphasising with his hands. ''and two, working out alone isn't my thing.'' he said shaking his head. i laughed.

''that's where our Dorito chip comes in. you guys can workout together and stuff.''

''but he always makes me workout until the fullest. i'm convinced that man wants me dead by the end of the month.''

he smiled and hugged me. i literally pushed him off.

''get a fucking shower!'' i yelled.

''come with me.'' he smirked.

''hell no.'' i made a face.

he laughed, placed a kiss on me once, and turned towards the bathroom.

''we have a change of a new year's resolutions!!'' he yelled over his shoulder.

''happiness every year!'' i yelled back.

he laughed. ''new resolution! i love you more!''

''i think mine's changed too!''

''no!''

''yes!''

''what is it?!''

''make you take more showers!'

''what?!''

i laughed.

''kidding! love you more too!''

~

[pimenita]

I finished DATV so here are my thoughts:

First a bit of context: I became a dragon age fan around ten years ago, after playing Fable and looking for games that had a similar feel (and my 2 GB RAM PC could run) I knew DA Inquisition was out but there was no way my PC could take it, so I got Origins and holy shit… my 2010 PC could barely handle it too. When I tell you that the game craawwwled, that the best I could squeeze out of my computer was a stutter and that every quest must have taken me at least 3 times the normal amount of time they should have taken.

Dragon Age Origins is still one of my favorite games of all time, and as someone who joined the party very late, I'll admit experiencing that month of waiting for DATV was very exciting. After completing the game, I'll say the enthusiasm hasn't died down but not because the game is amazing, it's because DATV worked for me: it gave me what I wanted while avoiding most (most!) of the pitfalls of working on the 4th installment of a series that is close to being 20 years old.

We all know how turbulent the development of DATV was and how close to being cancelled for real it got. Is nothing better than the game we got? Not to me, I enjoyed it, I had fun, I'm still playing it (on my 2nd playthrough right now)

What saved DATV for me is what saves most everything for me: the characters. Some had good arcs, some had great arcs, and some were��� there. But I never felt like they were a drag to be around. I like how they interact with each other, I love that nobody is calling anybody a slut or crazy (finally) because I get conflict, believe me, it's always fun to have your little guys wanting to kick one another's ass, but there was something so insidious in the way some conversations would go (Aveline and Isabela, just about every chat with Sera) that had me thinking it was more than just two characters tearing into each other. It was like the writer's barely disguised actual beliefs, if you know what I mean.

That being said, I know I'm not the only one that felt like some chats were too hamfisted, too on the nose—someone called the game Dragon Age: Friendship is Magic and I'm still laughing. I've seen the idea of "therapy speak" being used in books in ways that break immersion and I couldn't help feeling like some interactions the companions had were clear examples of this. What makes it weirder in my opinion is that the guys at bioware know how to write compelling conflict that makes sense and has a satisfying resolution. Let's take for example Lucanis' and Davrin's spat after the team fails to kill Ghilan'nain: they throw barbs at each other, then when they cool off they realize they were being asses, so they talk it out and make peace. Like adults, like a hardened assassin and warrior would. It adds to the conflict, it adds to the story, and it informs us of the type of people they are. Then there's Emmrich and Harding discussing a camping trip and waiting for my Rook to pick a side, and I'm like: dude you're both old enough to compromise? Also why do I care what you do with your time when we aren't fighting gods? Appalling stuff. Cut it out, think about better banter.

Then there's the huge elephant in the room: why is Thedas so sanitized? Is this the result of new writers not knowing enough about previous games?—it could be, they don't even know who Zevran is.

Or is it executive meddling?—maybe, there's a screenshot going around of the writers on bluesky (I think) where they vaguepost about critics of the game being right and how they (bioware team) fought against stuff that was included regardless. So, who knows.

On this front I will only reiterate that I'm glad Zev didn't show up. I already side-eyed Isabela (and also Taash) for her ideas about "treasure hunters" (read: pirates) and how they are actually good guys if you think about it (please, don't think about it too hard). Which, fine, let's say they really believe this, the same way the Crows believe they are freedom fighters or another vaguely Latin American coded thing; I understand that people entrenched in a system can truly believe what they're selling, but where's the other side of the coin? Where's the chats about the hurt they inflict on others to achieve what they want? The Crows have that one guy that ends up being a corrupt politician, and the Lords of Fortune… well, they are there.

Dragon Age is such a centrist series that I have heard just about everything about it. That it loves elves, that it hates elves, that it's pro-mage, that it's pro-templar. And it's because it has so many different factions that defend their ideologies that you can't say for sure what the writer's feelings are on the subject (and also because it's centrist, both sides are wrong bull most of the time). I swear I love Dragon Age; it's only because I care that I point out this stuff.

But that's the thing, I'm ok with both-sides-are-wrong fiction if it means it won't be a black and white take full of good guys telling me how good they are, while the bad guys twirl their mustaches evilly. And, unfortunately and except for a few cases (Solas) I feel like DATV dropped the ball here. Actually, I'm also fine with bad guys going full camp (Hezenkoss is one of the best parts of the game) just, you know, it has to be intentional, otherwise it feels like bad writing.

tl;dr DATV has very high highs, and very low lows, and I would've loved a more polished game, but I enjoy what we got and I will keep replaying it because of the companions and because it's a fun little game… most of the time at least.

[peculiarbeauty]

happy new year from your friend , peculiarbeauty !

this was such a crazy year for me. i lost a lot , but i learned a lot too. this was the year i told myself i would never come back to tumblr roleplay , and that wouldn't be an issue. but writing has always been something i enjoyed and taking the creative element out of myself felt really difficult for me.

the biggest lesson i learned this year is if things are meant to be , then they definitely will be. sometimes fair weathered friends are only meant to be around for a time of your life , but it doesn't mean you won't meet new friends from saying goodbye to old. sometimes the best thing that can happen to you means falling flat on your face and coming to understand that some things just aren't good for you anymore. through this , i have become so happy.

i've made new friends through roleplay and through actually going out and meeting people. my husband proves to be my biggest ally in all things of my life. i am definitely a lucky one , even if things might be tough , the problems i had this year are so miniscule to what other people are going through and i shouldn't be down because of it anymore. thank you guys for being good to me here and giving me a chance to write with you. writing this wonderous book-loving princess has been such a great experience. i was so hesitant to get involved , but my goodness , everyone is always so wonderful here and SO supportive. it's insane !

my new years resolution this year involves me working on my goals ! i hope to get a job this coming year that i actually can enjoy. i've learned that sitting in an office is the most DEPRESSED i've ever been. not to say other people might not enjoy it , but it's just not for me i've learned. being happy is important for me. even if things are especially hard financially , i am blessed to have supportive individuals around me who will help me achieve good things. i want to work on myself a ton and feel so content. i'm a nurturing soul , so i do plan to begin teaching this coming year now that i've OFFICIALLY got the certification and degree to do that. it's going to be a great chapter in my life , i can feel it. <3

nonetheless , i hope that everyone who is making a new years resolution this year will end up impressing themselves , but it's also important to know that you are a human being and you shouldn't be sad if you don't meet your goals. try your best and do what feels right. that's what is most important. that is true growth in the end. <3

NOTE: I tried adding a ton of people here to this post , but i guess tumblr only allows SO MANY folks to be added. i don't want to leave anyone out , so just take this as my message to you. I LOVE ALL OF YOU , HAPPY NEW YEAR. i hope this coming year is everything you want it to be. ^^

[dramavixen]

watch this! – there will be ample time

Happy 2024, everyone! 'Tis the season to set goals. One of my New Year's resolutions is to be less of a drama snob and enjoy entertainment for entertainment's sake. The good news for my pretentious tastes is that most New Year's resolutions are doomed to fail.

Regardless of your television preferences, I believe that the media you consume should improve your quality of life. For me, that usually means sitting down and reflecting on how life sucks and letting that realization break my heart. That way, it can be sewn back together upon the next realization that sometimes life doesn't suck. It's a little masochistic of me.

what is there will be ample time?

An urban life drama centered around four friends in their 20s and 30s who, due to shifts in their personal and professional lives, return to their roots in the bustling city of Chengdu.

Focuses on the varying struggles of women in modern society while soothing your soul with the warmth of friendship and family.

I'm convinced that half of the lines are ad-libbed. Some of the stuff that comes out of the actors' mouths is way too natural.

why watch?

for and about the masses

The deeper I'm clamped into this world's trap of being a working-class human being, the more I'm drawn to television that depicts the average person's life. I can only watch so many shows about heirs to billionaires and gods on Earth before I start dissociating.

As you can guess, There Will Be Ample Time is a female-centric drama, but I wouldn't exactly consider it to be a "feminist" one in the traditional sense. Industry standard for feminist dramas tend to lean toward the "woman kicks male trash to the curb to live her glorious single life" trope. Those can be fun, but you can never escape the anger that comes along with seeing all those women being wronged by countless men like they're being passed along on some patriarchal assembly line. We're getting older. It's time to start looking after our blood pressures.

So here we are. Complemented by a relatively laidback Chengdu setting, our four leading ladies' lives aren't free from love life problems, but they have other things to do too:

Zhang Pei, an insurance agent with a smart eye for what work is worth doing. She's maintained a healthy relationship with her overbearing parents by keeping a distance of 1500 kilometers between them and herself for the past 15 years, but an unexpected incident makes her realize that there's no time to visit home like the present.

Gou Dandan, a beauty influencer who strives to make her life perfect both on- and off-camera. Reality hits when she discovers her husband is having an affair.

Dong Jiaxi, a recent graduate whose dream lies in writing and theater. She's just about to jump-start her career with great promise when her mother is diagnosed with cancer.

Wu Yun, a civil servant who moves to Chengdu for work. Though she visited her cousin Dandan in the city as a child, she's the only one in the group who didn't grow up in the region and needs to get accustomed to a new environment.

With the way that everyone speaks and interacts, it feels like you're taking a gander at someone's everyday life. Each character is someone you could meet on the street, a friend of yours, or just you yourself. The overarching normalcy makes you laugh that much harder at their humor and cry that many more tears when they break down.

--

move over, beijing and shanghai. it's chengdu hours

The Chinese title of the show, 故乡，别来无恙, translates to "my old home, hope you've been well." Chengdu's urban landscape has proliferated in recent years, but it remains in the main characters' hearts as a place of cozy memories—it's about the giant pandas, flavorful cuisine, and hordes of people drinking tea in a park and playing mahjong during a work day while some dude marches around asking if you would like to have your ears cleaned.

People in Chengdu have their struggles, but locals seem to take everything in stride. Most of your troubles can be alleviated by walking home where your parents have dinner ready or hanging out with your friends at the neighborhood barbecue joint. Take a break, have some tea. As hard as life can be, you should always take time to live.

(Disclaimer here that I'm definitely not biased for the place just because it's also where my roots are buried. I can testify that whenever this conditioned capitalist slave goes back to visit family, she starts having an anxious reaction to the free time and relaxation she's exposed to.)

The Chengdu dialect the actors use is...it's alright. I'm one to talk, considering I can't even get half a sentence out without stumbling on my American accent. Hey, at least they tried. If I harp on them, then I also have to harp on all the other actors out there who've spent years in the circle and still can't deliver a line with proper pronunciation or emotion.

--

relive your generational trauma in 4k imax surround sound

I don't know the writers' ages, but this work exudes the energy of Millennials finally aging into producing media that addresses generations' worth of mommy issues. You love to see it.

Do you see yourself in this picture? You're in high school. Call it hormones, call it rebelliousness, but you argue with your mom so frequently that it's become as routine and arduous as dragging yourself out of bed in the morning. Most often, one of these disputes ends with you shutting yourself in your room. Half an hour later, your mom bursts in without knocking to give you fruit on a plate. Ten years later, you feel like your frustrations were all so trivial in comparison to what your parents sacrificed for you. But does that make your feelings any less real?

There's something about Chinese families that makes us really good at hurting each other in the name of love and then never apologizing for it. Especially when compared to other family-centric shows, this one does an excellent job at portraying that exact issue. Each character deals with different forms of it, but they all struggle with being honest and respectful toward their family and face breaking points before they learn their lessons.

I saw myself in each of the children and my parents in their mothers and fathers. When you see a TV show reflect your family dynamics so accurately, it's hard not to cry when you see the aftermath of an argument on both sides. At the same time, you can't help but cackle when you witness some of the ridiculous things they fight over. In the end, why take things so far with your own family?

--

trying real hard over here to not spoil too much, but these. two. why am i like this? romance dramas give me romance and i'm disgusted because love is dumb. non-romance dramas give me romance and i'm on the floor searching for more crumbs. it's because i'm a snob, isn't it?

--

It's kind of difficult to summarize what this show does to your emotions. Somehow it manages to be an easy watch while squeezing a fist around your heart for all its worth. Most of all, it just makes you miss home, wherever that may be.

[macgyvertape]

Venture Bros series finale thoughts (spoilers)

Watching the final work in a long running series (I started watching around 2012) is always a bit bitter-sweet, especially as a Venture Bros fans where there have been two or three year gaps between seasons, and after season 7 there was a lot of uncertainty of whether there would be another season or movie special. It was also extremely frustrating that hours after the movie came out, before most people had gotten to watch it, it was announced that Warner Bros who owns the rights would be delisting the show, WITHOUT telling the creators beforehand.

I reframed a lot of my initial thoughts after reading the Mashable interviews with the creators. “'The Venture Bros.' creators on saying goodbye to their show: 'It sucks'” where they discuss “kill you darlings” editing, and why some characters like Brock had less screen time and others like Sirena didn’t appear at all:

“"We put on our list — these are the things we want to include," Hammer recalled of the process. "These are the things that aren't important. These are the things that are funny. These are the things we care about. And we wrote out [a] way too long script and did a few rewrites."

"We wrote our most detailed outline ever," Publick said. "And we started writing the script. And when we got to the halfway point of the outline, we were already at the, like, seven-eighths point of what our page count should be. So we went, 'Oh, we gotta cut five scenes we wrote already and pare down the second act — like, way down.'" …

But it wasn't all bad news. Hammer found some joy in the process of paring down, telling Mashable, "It was also a treat because when we get to that point where we've overwritten, we can read it and go, 'Well, now I understand you.' We're good at looking at something and going, 'I know why this is broken. And I can fix it.' Jackson and I are both real good at repairing things."

And “Doc Hammer reveals the 'Venture Bros.' scene he regrets losing” which discusses Sirena specifically:

“Hammer began to explain, "I don't want people walking away going —"

"She's [Sirena] a bitch," Publick said, finishing the thought.

"Yeah," Hammer continued. "She's not a bad person. And we understood what happened (between her and Dean). And we wanted to tell people like, 'This is just a part of growing up. These terrible things just happen.'”

"The Monarch is a jackass, and he says terrible things," Hammer continued. "And Doc is a horrible narcissist, raised by toxic masculinity. I recognize this pantheon because they're in my life as well. But, I love all of them — as flawed as they are. And [Publick and I, in making the series] constantly walk that line of going, 'This is terrible. But look at the love in here.'"

The Sirena cut scene was meant to walk that line as well. The duo declined to reveal what would have happened in the scrapped Sirena scene. (Maybe they go into it on the DVD's commentary track?) But Hammer did share what he hopes fans realize about Sirena.

"We wanted people to walk away understanding her and understanding what happened," Hammer said. "Obviously, she's not in love with Dean. And hers is a very complicated relationship with Hank because it's his first relationship. And that's the age where we mess up."

I think the series finale is excellent within the way it works in that very strict time limit; it balances some fun new plots and characters with wrapping up a bunch of plot threads and speculation. Sure I would have loved to see more of Mantilla/Debra’s “stalker with a crush” interest in Dr. Mrs. The Monarch as the resolution was very quick but it still was my favorite plotline in the movie. It’s been amazing watching the quality of the animation increase over the course of 20 years, and I’m grateful the show got a high movie budget send off. There were a number of scenes like the Ven-tech tower liftoff where the animators really got to flex and make the moment spectacular and it was great to see.

It felt nice to end the series getting answers to some of the long running show mysteries and fan speculation; how are The Monarch and Rusty Venture related, what’s the deal with Hank and Dean’s parentage. This show has never done the sudden twist because fans figure things out and it wanted to “subvert expectations”, it instead rewards careful watching, and it was fun spotting old callbacks or visual Easter eggs (Dermott has a Deathklok poster). There were also a lot of emotional moments that landed for me, such as the rescue of Ven-Tech tower, just seeing these characters work together and succeed after all these years watching them.

This finale does one of my favorite things for a series finale to do, show a world where the characters have grown and changed but the world live on in a positive way, akin to riding off into the sunset where a new adventure is always possible. Things like Ven-tech tower settling in the old Venture Compound, the Monarch finds out the truth of his biological relationship to Rusty Venture but just adds a layer in the in the way he’ll continue to arch.

[asksythe]

Thanks for your translation and the footnotes explaining things. Those were a godsend!

If I may ask, you said you had been on the Chinese (and Vietnamese?) side of the fandom up until now, that you've been in MDZS fandom for a few years. I see that you have some MDZS English fics up recently. I love them too! The ideas are so new and fun! Do you have any favorites English fics? Why aren't you on the international side until now? You learned Mandarin just to read MDZS? That's amazing. Is it very hard? How did you do it? What gave you the idea of writing the footnotes? Are there any Chinese MDZS fics that you really like?

Thank you. I'm glad the notes were helpful to you.

Ehh... it's a lot of questions, huh.

1/ I don't have any true favorites on the international side. It's a matter of cultural differences, not the quality of the stories. MDZS... was not written with an international audience in mind. So there are a lot of tiny but deeply impactful details that just... fly over a lot of the international reader base's head. It doesn't help that Chinese is a high-context culture, the polar opposite of most Western cultures (low-context culture). So a tiny detail that doesn't mean anything to English speaking audience can be a really big deal for the Sinosphere audience.

So the English fics are written based on this foundation of cultural value mismatch and thousands of little things that don't quite line up. The result is... really weird and really jarring. So for me, I have tried reading English fics before. But usually, what happened is that I would get distracted by this thing or that thing in the story that didn't fit with the cultural setting, and I would not be able to enjoy the story at all. I'm not quite sure how else to explain this. It's like... if someone in the Sinosphere who only has a very vague understanding of say... modern American culture takes a glance at American media and equates popularity with actual governmental authority (which kinda is true in a way but not all the way) and they write a story with the premise of.. say... a young American with big dreams of becoming the president so this person starts out their career by writing long, thousand-word essays and post them on twitter to gain credibility and followers so they can then stage a coup like Jan 6th and become president, and then they use their position as president to order Amazon be the new headquarter of government and all of this is written super seriously and realistically... Like that, probably...

2/ Why aren't I on the international side of the fandom until now? Well, the reason above plus my work is hectic. I'm perpetually buried in works, scripts, drafts for books, magazine publication schedules, game publication schedules, media projects, client interviews, chasing down clients, etc... that's on top of family and my not-so-great health. This year though, I have made it my resolution to write more stuff for myself (and not paid by someone else). So that's why I'm here now.

3/ Yes, I did start to seriously learn Mandarin to read MDZS in its native language. I can't say it's easy. It's not an easy language by any stretch of the word. But it's probably fair to say it's significantly easier for me to learn it compared to a lot of other people. I'm Vietnamese. Vietnamese is a derivative of traditional Mandarin, even though our modern language is now written in the Latin alphabet. We also have a bridge language between Hanyu (Mandarin) and Vietnamese called Han Viet. This makes it much easier for a Vietnamese to learn Mandarin than most other nationalities (with the exception of Japanese and Korean, probably). Before I even learned Mandarin, with the right tool, I could already understand about 50-60 percent of Mandarin writings, provided it's not ancient writing (which goes by different rules). It also helps that modern Vietnam has really good access to Chinese media, both modern and old.

I practice by translating Chinese MDZS fics into Vietnamese. I translated 10 series in total last year, with each series averaging around 50-80k words. I recently dabbled in translating Chinese poems into English (There's no use translating Chinese poems into Vietnamese. Han Viet is built for that express purpose already.)

4/ There are a ton of Chinese fics that are really good. I can't even begin to list them. I have seen some of the first-generation MDZS fics that were so good they ended up influencing MXTX herself, ending with her accepting the details posited in those stories as part of MDZS canon. They are all on the Chinese side of the internet though, mostly on lofter and weibo.

5/ The idea of the footnotes came from a friend, really. I sometimes spontaneously rant at @erimies about MDZS. Haha, I should thank her for being so patient. Back then, she wasn't even in MDZS. Well, even now, she's only started to read a little. But basically, during my fairly one-sided ranting (or gushing), we would stumble into cultural concepts that she didn't understand and had no basis for. So I would explain these things to her, which sometimes would become entire essays in our chat box. So when I translated, I remembered this point, that international fans probably miss a lot of cultural concepts and references, so I made sure to add in explanations.

[thunderberryart]

Star's Rune Factory 3 Special 1st Playthrough, Part 3: It's... already nearly over?

So, going into Rune Factory 3 Special, I knew that the main story was going to be a fairly quick affair. That was one of the big things I heard about RF3; it's a good game, but it's not the longest. And I thought to myself "Well, I played RF5 and I'm pretty sure I finished the main story by early autumn of year 1 in my one playthrough. Surely, it can't be as quick or quicker than THAT."

It is, in fact, early autumn of Year 1 and I am just about to rescue Micah's fiancee AKA Shara from Aquaticus.

Knowing that I am very close to the end of the plot, I feel like it is a good opportunity to talk about the story. When I think about RF3's story... it's weird. Vishnal's marriage event comes to mind because the flaws of that event, I feel, encompasses a lot of the issues I have with RF3's plot. I have an older post going over my experience watching Vishnal's marriage event via YT, but to explain its biggest issue; it's short. I don't know if it's THE shortest of all the marriage events (I've still haven't gotten around to watching Forte's, Margaret's, Clorica's, Doug's, and Dylas'), but it is the shortest of the ones I have seen so far. And because it is so short, everything in that event comes in rapid fire--the plot, the emotions, Vishnal's proposal, the resolution--and so for what is there, it never feels like there's enough time to enjoy a scene and let it set in before the next thing happens.

That is essentially what happens with Rune Factory 3. The game has an incredibly good plot in concept, but because it's so short and things happen so quickly, it's difficult to appreciate what's there when it's there. For instance, compared to the likes of Frey/Lest and Alice/Ares, there is a lot less mystery with Micah; he starts recovering his memories immediately after defeating the first boss and it's always a sort of "Oh, that happened" kind of deal whenever he discovers an orb that triggers a recollection, even though him regaining his memories should really be that much bigger of a deal (the most emotional memory recovery scene was, I feel, the third where he remembered that he was the one tasked with defeating the monsters causing problems around Sharance, since it plays into the intro to the Death Wall fight later.)

There is also the matter of the Human-Univir conflict, which is its own problem. It's bad enough that it is resolved fairly easily, but the fact that the conflict isn't rationalized very well beyond "The Univir were exiled from Sharance at some point in the past--no one knows why, but the humans of Sharance and the Univir have hated each other since" is kind of... sad. In what I've experienced so far of the series, Rune Factory plots aren't anything to write home about, but... I don't know. I can't say whether RF3's plot turns out to be forgettable, but I can't say anything from the game's main story sticks out other than getting Kuruna to stop being so prejudiced against humans by giving her a handmade bouquet from the residents of Sharance.

But you know what they say; a mediocre story can be saved by good characters! And while I was initially overwhelmed by RF3's cast as mentioned in my first post, I've grown somewhat used to the eccentricities of Sharance by now and if there's anything memorable about the writing, it's how bonkers everyone is while still managing to convey some genuinely heartfelt storytelling. (And according to people on Reddit, XSEED's new translation for Special is apparently toned down from Natsume's original. Geez, I wonder how I would have reacted if this had been the original DS version.)

My favorites are the same as last time and... goddamn, I really do love Shara. Initially I figured I'd be marrying her purely to see if she was as bad as the fanbase makes her out to be and then in my second playthrough move on to a bachelorette I actually feel has genuine chemistry with Micah, but I really do like these two together. Granted, she doesn't have the most emotionally intensive plot associated with her requests (It's more about helping her younger sister, Monica, come out of her shell than any issues that Shara herself has), but she's so sweet and kind, cares for her family, and she loves flowers! I love flowers! And not gonna lie, her manner of teasing Micah and occasional bluntness do remind me of Frey, so that might have something to do with why she hits just right for me.

Girl, plz. You're killing poor boy.

That said, even though I made the firm decision this playthrough to marry her (and we would have had the wedding by now if Aquaticus didn't * grumbles *), there are other bachelorettes that I am considering marrying in subsequent playthroughs, which is pretty shocking considering my track record with RF4S. And by track record, I mean Arthur is the entire record.

Of the other bachelorettes, I've done a fair chunk of Sakuya's requests and I still like her a lot; besides having one of the more "normal" personalities, her love of travel and commerce reminds me a lot of Arthur (even though she's not a workaholic and is genuinely concerned with profits) and I'm liking the progress of her character development through her events. She also has a cute character design, but that's only ever a nice bonus and not something that determines whether I like a character or not.

The bachelorettes I was most skeptical of were Raven and Pia, and this is because I was aware of the fandom's opinions on those characters going in. Long story short: I figured this was going to be another Leon and Dylas situation for me, and by that, you know, I don't dislike either of them, they're pretty neat and I get why they hit close to home for some people, but it got annoying to see them constantly treated as objectively The Best when hey, their writing is not perfect, there's a reason why not everyone romances them; I'm certainly among those people. And at first, I was disappointed. Pia's personality was too airheaded for my tastes, and Raven... I liked her guest appearance in RF4S, but here, she's a straight up tsundere and tsunderes are one of those hit-or-miss kind of characters for me.

In Raven's case, I think I've done at least half her requests by now and by god, I feel bad for judging her so fast. Despite being a tsundere, she actually has an incredibly valid reason for telling Micah to stay away from her; according to her, anyone who becomes close to her disappears and she's afraid of the same thing happening to him. That... that hit hard and even if she doesn't end up being my favorite ship choice for Micah, I do want her to be happy.

Pia, I think, was just an instance of finding her initial personality overwhelming like many others in Sharance. I can't give any opinions on her character arc because I have only done one or two of her requests, but she is very cute. She is often lost in her own little world and tends to blatantly ignore things Micah says, but I do really love her happy-go-lucky approach to life and I unironically find her personal vendetta against squid hilarious. (She and Margaret would be friends.)

That is definitely the benefit of the romance system in RF3S. I'm sad there isn't a true dating phase and you can just go right to marriage once you've gotten the Engagement Ring recipe from Wells and Marjorie, but knowing that I can help these girls with their personal issues without having to turn down a heartwarming proposal at the end of their last request does make me feel a bit better about "hareming" all these bachelorettes. (And I say that as someone who detests harems and prefers a single dedicated romance in any narrative.)

My next post will presumably be my last for this first playthrough given how fast this has gone. I'm still incredibly attached to Selphia and RF4S is still my favorite game of the RFs I have played, but there really is a lot to love about RF3S despite its imperfections and I am already looking forward to my next playthrough. Cheers, everyone! I'll see you next time!

[dennydraws]

No Buy 2023 - Art Supplies

Hello, hello and Good Morning! It's not quite January anymore to make new year resolutions but about a month ago I decided I need to do something about my art supply hoarding tendencies :D;;; Even if I'm not even close to what I see on art videos, it doesn't quite sit well with me when I have more than I use and clutter is something I don't like around me.

So! This year, let's tackle some art supplies with reckless abandon!!

Step 1 - Catalog all your supplies I want to say this was a tough one but it was actually fairly easy for me. I could mostly name everything from the top of my head xD:; And to be expected the most glaring issue with me was all the unfinished sketchbooks that I keep piling. I listed, ahem...about fourteen sketchbooks... 2 of which are pass half point to finish, 8 of which are started and for one reason or another abandoned and rest are not even opened.

Whenever I get the urge to buy new sketchbooks I will remind myself of the list I made. I'm fairly sure I got some more hiding in random corners too.

Anyway! Target list:

Step 2 - Discard what is no longer usable Ok testing everything did take time but it did also cut some chunk of art supplies. It also made me realize I had some markers I barely used and they had dried out exactly cause I had barely used them... a lesson to learn. Again. About a year ago I noticed some of my fave colors have dried cause I was savoring them maybe a bit too much lol. Once more the copics are holding up like absolute troopers. Sad to say the spectrum noir markers just dry really fast, especially if you aren't using them as soon as you open them. They are still wonderful markers mind you!

Well, I don't plan to use my copics with reckless abandon but I do plan to use all the watercolors I have for I have quite a lot xD;; including tubes, another set and gouache set that I have stashed away;;;

Step 3 - Pair the materials! I usually tend to make a test ground page at the start of every sketchbook but if I'm to test everything ... I may burn out so, I'll just stick to quick tests and if something doesn't work out, turn a page and carry on.

Step 4 - Write down the progress! If you're like me, you exist with little lists and check box and see everything as little exp bar that you feel and celebrate when you complete it :D;; And this challenge is no different for me. Every month I will be writing down what I've used, did I actually used all of it, did I learn or enjoy this medium etc...

But yes, this will be my process for the year! Maybe by end of December I will have a long post of what I finished, what I didn't etc :D;; hopefully more finished than unfinished! At the end art is personal and it should be done in a way that sparks joy for you. For me, I need order in my compulsive doodling tendencies. Unfinished things stress me and I hope I get to close the last pages of some sketchbooks and throw away some empty art supplies now that they served their purpose - maybe even discover that I really enjoy some mediums I barely had used before \o/

Thank you for stopping by, dear reader! I hope you have a wonderful week full of inspiration and ideas! Maybe this little read inspired you to catalog your own art supplies and do some spring cleaning!

[filet-o-feelings]

5-4-3-2-1

Thanks for tagging me @mammameesh and @tyfinn 💛

Rules: post the top 5 works you’re most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular).

4 current WIPs that you’re excited to release in the new year.

3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year.

2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year

1 favorite line you’ve written this year!

5 works I'm most proud of:

Everything's Too Cold... But You're So Hot

This started out as a pretty vague idea; I just knew I wanted to write a fake boyfriends story, but I loved the first chapter so much that it quickly became my most important project and I'm very proud of it, definitely my favorite thing I've written to date. Fake boyfriends stuck together through an ice storm.

Further North

This is the first long fic I've ever written, and before this I didn't think I was capable of writing anything longer than maybe 6k or so. I wrote it in about 2 weeks and I'm still kind of amazed by that. I would love that writing energy back again. Strangers stuck together through a snow storm. Clearly I have a favorite trope.

there are so many beds (how do I get you in mine?)

There was a post going around about a manufactured only one bed situation, this was my twist on that.

Rescue Mission

Everyone except Patrick is an alien. Stevie, David and Ronnie are on a spaceship. David, monitoring Earth, becomes... smitten?... with Patrick and decides he needs to be saved from the horrors on Earth. So many shenanigans. Lots of fun. One day there will probably be a follow up (it's sitting in my docs at about 300 words)

Like They Handed Me My Life, For the First Time it Felt Right

My first Schitt's Creek fic, and my first fic in 15 years... the first thing I wrote and completed in about as long. Inspired by time spent stuck in an airport and I just had to write it down. I had no idea it would lead to me writing 168k words over the course of the year!

4 WIPs:

Library Boy

This was my nanowrimo project, which I put on hold at the end of November to work on ETC... and the December prompts, based on a story told on the podcast episode of the same name of Beautiful Anonymous. I fell in love with the story and wanted to write a Patrick/David AU of it. I'm hoping to get back to it soon, it's already the longest thing I've ever written and I still have a good chunk left.

Devil!Patrick

a Stevie/Ruth companion piece to Mistakes We Knew We Were Making expanding upon their relationship in that universe

Snooze! - a sleepy!David 5+1

3 biggest improvements in my writing:

The fact that I've started writing again at all, for one!

I'm getting a little better at taking time to edit instead of just posting basically the first draft and only proofreading

I'm getting marginally better about showing instead of telling, at least trying to be more aware of it as I write.

2 resolutions:

to take more time with my writing, both editing and being more mindful about how I word things

to be willing to let go of works if they just aren't working anymore

1 favorite line:

From Mistakes We Knew We Were Making

That’s why things with Rachel have always felt just a bit to the left of right.

This took me a bit to get to and I think most people have probably been tagged in this one already, but if you haven't please consider this your tag 💛

[thetrashbagswasteland]

2022 Writing Wrapup

Tagged by: @korblez (ty!!)

Total Words Published: 452,803 words 😳

Additional Words Written: I've got 44,851 strewn through like 20 WIPS at this point lmao

Grand Total of Words: 497,654. Yikes. Before 2022 I'd put maybe 100k words down total in my life, so that's a terrifying number.

Fandoms: Honestly, it's just been Mass Effect all the way down lmao

Highest Everything (raw kudos, hits, comments): Project Sunseeker without a shadow of a doubt. Kinda to be expected all things considered but it's still a scary number yaknow?

Highest Kudos to Hits Ratio: Extended Release - the n7 day posted final chapter from Sunseeker that I forgot I'd planned to finish with (oops)

New Things I Tried: Writing! Actually, y'know, putting words down and publishing them! I cannot stress enough that I published the first chapter of Project Sunseeker having never actually finished a multichaptered work in my life and it's been a STEEP learning curve.

Fic I Spent The Most Time On: Instead of saying the obvious one bc it's already been mentioned at great length, let's go with Beyond Familiar Stars bc putting 80k words down simply takes time no matter how well your brain's vibing.

Fic I Spent The Least Time On: I'm discounting prompts and gifts here bc that's not a fair metric imo and makes things sound like they're less important (when they aren't) but Wipe My Hands Clean was written in like... 13 days straight. Yeah, kinda overdid the NaNoWriMo goal there 😂

Favorite Thing I Wrote: Curiosity Is A Dangerous Concept ties with A Little Too Much Like Me here because they're two very different fics but equally fun and off the cuff!

Favorite Thing I Read: Oh boy, this one's a long one. Let's go with: Broken Mirror by @sparatus, and for that matter the entire exdiff universe Interregnum (Species Swap as a whole for that matter) and Friend of a Friend by @otemporanerys Stellar Parallax and Lost/Found by @korblez Hunger Pangs and Controlled Explosions in Chicago and The Citadel Adventures of Castis Vakarian and Alec Ryder by Missjlh and... let's stop the list there y'know, there's only so much history digging I can do lmao

Writing Goals for 2023: Keep up the momentum! I've got the full sequel to Project Sunseeker in its planning stages - Good Men Don't Go To War should at least start within the year, though I doubt it'll be finished within it because it's going to be massive. I'm also looking forwards to putting that down as well as finishing up Beyond Familiar Stars and Follow My Lead; Heart Of A Dancer and Here We Go Again are also on the cards within that same universe though I'm not sure where they're going quite yet.

New Works: Chomp The Champion Varren, Project Sunseeker, Yes, Sir, Tales In The Last Days, The Idealist, The Only Thing I Ask (Love Me Mercilessly), Poison The Well And Take Me Straight To Hell, 'Your Dad Is My Cardio' & Other Torture Tactics From The Desk Of Avitus Rix, Spectre, You Talk Me Into The Best Bad Situations House of Anarchy, Ryncol Tastes Like Ass, A Fraction Of Your Happy Heart, Shatter, Extended Release, Curiosity Is A Dangerous Concept, Wipe My Hands Clean, Beyond Familiar Stars, Follow My Lead and A Little Too Much Like Me. *dies* Is it too late to make my NY resolution picking shorter titles?

I'm like 90% sure everyone I know has already been tagged but... if you haven't and you wanna do it, self-identify at this point!

[funkymbtifiction]

What is it like to not have any assertive no in one's tritype?

I'm asking because your new year resolution, taking action (idk if i should have read it but i read your post on it, on your other blog) is smthg i felt I needed to confront in myself. I used to take action for causes i cared about but then never consistently could go on for long. I need to, as it's my last chance to have a new life, new experiences, i want a rush, challenge because that would make me feel joyous, peaceful and help me figure out my purpose at least. Idealistic hopes! But the thing is I procrastinate. I don't make lists or schedules as i find them limiting.

What's you way of taking action? How do you approach or achieve it?

For me, it's about being mindful and aware of my procrastinating. I usually have no real reason to procrastinate other than "I don't feel like it," so instead of pushing things off until later, I tell myself: just do it now. That way the stuff I don't want to do is no longer hanging over my head, it's resolved (and that makes me feel good about myself instead of dreading getting around to it later) and I can see my own progress. Most of the time, stuff doesn't take as long as I thought, so I could waste more time avoiding it than just getting it over with.

Part of it needs to be a mental process, though. If all of those things are what you want, why aren't you pursuing them? Maybe you need to look inward and face the emotions that keep you stagnant/inert. Do you think, magically, life is just going to happen to you if you wait long enough? (It won't. "Someday my prince will come" isn't realistic; if you want a prince, you need to actively look for one and be places where he can meet you.) Are you afraid to take risks? (Are those risks inflated in your mind to the point where the prospect is scarier than actually doing it?) Have you grown lazy and that's why you don't do anything for yourself? Are you "settling"? If so, again, WHY? Do you feel like life is yours to "do"? Are you taking ownership of your life and seeing it as yours to make exciting? Do you even know what you want? Have you had enough life experiences for you to KNOW what you want? Or is it just that you don't know what's out there, or where to start looking, and can't find anything that energizes you to do?

(That latter one is my problem. Too many choices, and none of them "spark" me at first thought, so I don't do anything about it.)

To motivate yourself to do something, you must change the thinking that is keeping you stuck where you are, and then take action. Let's say you want more friends. Great! ... how do you make friends? You go places where you can meet and connect to other people. What's the first step? Finding out where those places are. Thinking about the kinds of people you want to hang out, and going where they congregate. You want literary friends? Join a writer's group or a book discussion group. You want Christian friends? Join a Bible study. You want friends who ride horses? Spend time at a stable, etc.

You want to date someone or find your significant other? Think about the kind of person you want, and the relationship you want, and ask yourself where you are most likely to meet someone with similar desires for the relationship? (Clue: a lasting relationship won't come from a dating site for casual hook-ups/one night stands.)

What is it you want? To become a writer? What's the basic criteria for that? Writing! What time of day are you going to commit to writing, or how many words? For Stephen King, it's a thousand. Maybe for you it's 300. And the more you do that, the more you realize when you sit down and churn out 300 words, a lot more flow from your fingers.

Do you want to travel? What's stopping you? What can you change? What can you do today, this minute, to move toward the life you want or be living the life you could be living right now? Etc.

My ESFP 7w6 sister never lets a chance pass her by and while I don't want to live the life she does of constantly moving to new places and trying new careers, I do admire how she jumps on things instead of over-thinking them. I can do that, if I make the decision to do it. Sure, why NOT try that hobby, go to that restaurant, call that person, say yes to that date, or meet for lunch? What am I waiting for?

If you frame what you want in terms of you getting something good, it doesn't seem like a "chore" anymore. For example, if I want to lose weight, it's not about being forced to eat less, it's about fitting into that little black dress that makes me feel like a sexy million bucks. It's about how I feel about the way I look. I don't "have" to schedule a haircut; I GET to schedule one, so I can maintain my adorable pixie cut. You know, the one I absolutely love. I don't HAVE to call the vet about my cat's meds, I GET to be his adoring caretaker who wants him to feel good and live his best life.

Figure out what you want. Frame your thinking around it in a way that is motivational for you instead of a "chore." And do it.

[ofstormsandfire]

Hello!!

Love your writing so much! After a decade of almost not thinking about the game, I recently started craving fics for Explorers of Sky. I'm so happy I found your Together We'll Be Heroes fic.

I'm new to your fics and blog, so I hope you don't mind me asking if you ever plan on continuing the pmd fic. Even if you never finished it, just wanted you to know that the fic brought me so much joy :D

Have a nice day/evening!!

hi hello! explorers of sky is such a good game, will always have a special place in my heart, which is a large part of why I started writing that fic in the first place lmao. cool to have you here! (I should... wait is my AO3 even linked on here? problem for future hope)

anyway, yes! I do plan on continuing it - my new years' resolution is to finish as many of my unfinished fics as possible, and Together We'll Be Heroes is one of the main ones I want to actually sit down and finish this year. some others that I really want to sit down and finish, that I haven't actively been writing recently and that aren't being cowritten with friends, include:

Ignite join our emo band Stars in the Northern Sky Field Notes on Operation Bloodline Prophecies, Dead Generals, and Other Forms of Guarshit

...all things considered, I actually have a lot fewer unfinished fics on AO3 than I thought I did. huh. that's cool.

first priority is of course finishing my main wip at the moment, no one ever mentions fear, a zelda botw fic where the champions come back from the dead, revali causes most of his own problems, and the reasons that this fic is like 10% a skyward sword crossover cause the rest. (you really don't need to know skyward sword to read it though.)

after that, it's time that I got back to the wip that I was really trying to juggle with noemf, a funky pokemon fic called there's blood on your lies where I punted cynthia into hisui, the wordcount and chapter count slightly spiraled out of control, and for some reason people really like that fic more than any other fic I've ever written by a rather large margin. juggling things that way wasn't working, so I'm focusing on noemf first while I take a break from tboyl for my mental health and also to give me time to figure out how I want to write the ending.

(I do have a solid plan at this point, so. that one's getting finished sooner rather than later.)

anyway, uh, got off on a slight tangent there, maybe I wanted to plug some of my writing as a treat. to me. and also because I don't really do that on tumblr at all lmao. maybe I should.

thank you very much for your kind words, anon, and I hope you have a good day/evening/timezone as well! but yes I will be continuing Together We'll Be Heroes, at some point this year. probably during the summer if I had to guess. I love writing and I also love pmd sky and if nintendo ever makes an explorers dx game it will be all that any of you hear about from me for at least a month at bare minimum.

[thechaoscryptid]

All the even numbers in the ask game.

(ask me writer things!)

Bless you I always get to ramble a lot with your questions and I appreciate it 😭❤️

2. What did not go well this year? How do you feel about it, and what positive thing did you learn from it?

Everything tbh lmao. I immediately encountered some health issues in the beginning of this year that made and have continued to make life difficult, and then my job really has been fucking me since August, so it's been...a fun year (and by fun, I of course mean...fucked). I haven't gotten much writing at all done and what I have written hasn't been Great and Inspired.

The positive is that even though I haven't been able to sit down and write, I have had the time to sit down and really consider where exactly I want to go from here, and what being a writer means to me. I came out the other side of that conversation knowing that I probably won't be real active in fandom writing spaces anymore - my focus has shifted to original works, and that's okay!

I've also been able to sit down and do some learning about writing as a craft vs just going to town on my work and picking things up as I go along. I'm really excited to start working through the DIY MFA podcast/program in earnest this upcoming year!

4. What is your favorite line you wrote this year?

"Peace does fuck all for a man with no food in his belly and no money in his pockets," Felix says. He turns and grabs her shoulders, staring deep into her eyes as his nose wrinkles. "Fighting and fucking are the two most honest ways to make a living, no matter what you and your ivory towers think. Lucky for me, I've always been good at both." // That Bright and Bitter Dawn, published in Queer for the New Year

6. Did you make any new writeblr friends? Give a shout out! If not, it's time to praise one of your old besties.

Yes and he's asked me these lovely questions 😎

8. What are three things you're looking forward to next year?

I mentioned the DIY MFA podcast earlier, but I'm really really looking forward to making my way through that and am very excited to learn

Drafting the first novel in the trilogy I've been picking at for years now

Taking a break. "But Alex," you say, "you've just told us you're drafting a novel!" Yes but I'm not forcing it. Writing and fandom has been my fyperfixation for AGES now and I'm finally...really.......slowing.............down, and I'm jazzed as hell to step back to a more reasonable pace and actually have a little bit of a life again, maybe.

10. Which character(s) turned out differently from what you planned? How so?

Moira Ewing actually really surprised me, but in a way that absolutely should not have lmao. I'd originally conceptualized her as this sunny, happy-go-lucky Nephilim character, but when I sat down to actually start writing her, she grew out of the girl next door and into a person whose ruthless and relentless pursuit of good/justice hurts the people around her.

12. If your character(s) had their own new years resolutions, what would those be?

I'll pick my faves for this, and absolutely none of these are from the same year/time period lmao

Felix: pick up new sword skills, make peace with his magic, be a little kinder

Kestra: Learn to whittle

Kascha: Find Ilyn (and if she can't do that, take down Barehost alone)

14. What would be your top three used sentences?

Oh dear I genuinely don't know but they definitely involve:

equating winter to a big-toothed animal

something about love being there/finding solace even if things aren't perfect

something pietic about a blood-red sunrise

[90363462]

media.giphy.com

Start Your Sex Life Off Right This Year With These 12 Themes

I've got 12 ways to make the sex that you're having even better this year!

Shellie R. Warren

Jan. 28, 2022 06:58PM EST

Whew. The more that I read, write and talk about sex, the more I realize that there will never be a time when I’ll learn all that there is to know. And honestly, that’s kind of what I like so much about it — sex has got layers and layers and even more layers to it. So, let’s use that to our advantage in 2022 by making this the year that we’re absolutely determined to have some of the best sex EVER, starting with implementing some monthly themes; ones that can help us to experience more when it comes to how we see ourselves, how to please our partner and how to enjoy sex on a whole ‘nother level!

JANUARY: Purging

Let me tell it, one of the main reasons why a lot of New Year’s Resolutions don’t work is because people try and implement new habits before purging out some of the old mindsets that caused the bad/unhealthy/counterproductive patterns in the first place. Sex fits into this point. Whether it’s poor sexual communication, faking orgasms, fantasizing about past sexual partners (while you’re engaging with your current sexual partner), getting horrible sex-related advice from other people, being too hard on yourself when it comes to your body image, or lack of sexual confidence (check out “10 Sensuous Ways To Boost Your Sexual Self-Esteem”) — whatever the case may be, use the first month of this year to really purge (to rid, clear or free) whatever you think is hindering you from having the best sex life possible. 

If you need a little help with narrowing down what those things may be, “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)” and “Why 'Vaginal Mapping' Needs To Be Part Of Your Healing Journey” may be able to help you out.

FEBRUARY: Stamina

Here’s what’s a trip about this point. Whenever I’m in my sessions with couples, it’s not just the wives who talk about wishing that their husbands lasted longer. Once husbands get their second wind (with round two), a lot of them say that their wives become worn out quicker than they would like to as well. It’s actually pretty Google-able that men only need around five minutes to climax while we sit somewhere at around 20 (including foreplay). Yet who said that sex — especially when it’s really good sex — shouldn’t go for longer than even that? This is where stamina comes into play. Not just physical stamina (check out “We’ve Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity”) but mental stamina too (check out “What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation?”). 

By honing in on ways to make sex last longer, it can help you and your partner to learn more about each other’s sexual needs and how to make sex about more than just “reaching the mountaintop” at the end. This includes all kinds of sex, by the way; not just intercourse (check out “12 Things You Should Do During Oral Sex (That You Probably Aren't),” “Want To Have Hotter Oral Sex? STOP Doing These 8 Things.,” “Are You Ready To Amp Up Your Oral Sex Game? Try This.,” “If Your Man Sucks At Oral Sex, This Is Probably Why,” “How To Make Him Better At Oral (Without Putting Him On The Spot)” and “Sooo...What If You HATE Oral?”).

MARCH: Daily Sex

So, here’s a question. When’s the last time you had sex, every single day, for a month straight? Whenever I’m dealing with a sexless couple (who is physically capable), this is oftentimes what I will recommend. The reason why is because, while there are dozens of reasons for why people in long-term relationships allow sex to become less of a priority, one of the main ones is they have simply stopped being intentional about it. It’s hard to get into the habit of treating something like it’s absolutely essential if it’s a part of your daily routine, so why not use the first month of spring to either get your sex life back on track or to find new ways to get closer to your partner by committing to some sort of sexual activity, every single day of March (and yes, I know that it’s 31 days)? 

If you need a little help figuring all of this out, “Having Sex Every Day. For A Month. Straight. Can Transform Your Marriage.,” “10 Simple Ways Married Couples Can Make More Time For Sex,” “How To Make Sex Easier (& More Fun) When You've Got Kids,” “Why Couples Should Engage In 'Midnight Sex' More Often,” “Here’s How To Make Morning Sex...Sexier,” and “The Truth About Period Sex” can offer up a few insights.

APRIL: Nostalgia

When it comes to the definitions of nostalgia, one that I personally like a lot is “a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life.” That said, isn’t it interesting that when we talk about taking walks down memory lane on the romance tip, recreating first dates immediately comes to mind but not really recreating first sexual experiences? When it comes to the first time you had with your partner, what are your favorite memories about it? When it comes to the best sex you’ve ever had with your partner, what qualifies it to have that title? 

Setting the stage for some of your moment cherished and treasured times, sending each other random texts and emails to talk about it, returning to the “scene of the crime” by booking the exact same reservation in a hotel room that brings a big smile to your face — make that the theme for April. It will help to cultivate warmth and familiarity that can set the stage for May.

MAY: Experimentation

Aside from the fact that experimentation can help to keep boredom from settling into your sexual relationship, there are other benefits that come with trying things that you’ve never done before, entertaining ideas that you’re super curious about, and/or doing certain things that you haven’t experienced with your current partner as of yet. Sexual experimentation strengthens communication. Sexual experimentation helps you to learn more about your (and his) erogenous zones (check out “So, What If ‘Typical Erogenous Zones’ Annoy TF Outta You?”). Sexual experimentation can tear down walls of fear or intimidation that you may have about certain acts or activities. Sexual experimentation can intensify your orgasms. Sexual experimentation can introduce you to a side of yourself you may not have known existed — because you never really experimented before.

One of the best ways to get this month going is to either create or share your sexual bucket list with your partner. And because this month is all about experimentation, try doing the things (on his list as well as yours) that challenge you the most…first. You know, one of the best things about experimenting, sexually, is it’s all about trust — and the more you trust your partner, in every facet of your relationship, the better your relationship will become over time.

JUNE: Nudity

There is something special about people who don’t mind having sex in the daytime or with the lights on. Whether they realize it or not, it conveys a level of self-confidence that only makes sexual interaction that much better…and hotter. Besides, it’s absolutely no secret that most men are stimulated visually, and trust me, it’s also the case that we tend to be WAY HARDER on our bodies than they are about them (men tell me this all of the time). So, meet up for midday sex and refuse to close your blackout curtains. Cook dinner sometimes with nothing or only panties on. If you’re not sleeping naked already, what the heck is holding you up? 

If it’s been a minute since you’ve TOTALLY DISROBED (because I know people who like to keep something on during sex, every single time) or even took off your wig or weave (I also know men who have NEVER seen their partner’s natural hair) — it’s June which is the first month of summer. It’s hot, so why not use this as an opportunity to wear as little as possible, for as long as possible. Your partner won’t complain one bit. I can promise you that.

JULY: Orgasms. Lots and Lots of Orgasms.

Since I’ve been writing for this platform, there really is no telling how many articles I’ve written on orgasms. The reason why I’m so passionate about making sure that we tackle this particular topic, just as thoroughly as possible, is because if there is one thing that all women deserve to have, as much as absolutely possible, it’s orgasms. Not because sex can’t be good without them but because if you’ve ever had one before, you know the kind of true fulfillment an orgasm can bring. So yeah, in the month when fireworks are going off more than any other time of the year, strive to have as many orgasms as possible. Can’t think of a more satisfying way to live life. Can you?

AUGUST: Dirty Talk

Personally, my top love language is words of affirmation, so it doesn’t shock me in the least that I am a HUGE fan of dirty talk. I mean, HUGE. If you want a scientific reasonfor why a lot of us are turned on by “dirty” words, it’s because hearing them stimulates the part of our brain that brings us to physical sexual arousal; this makes complete and total sense when you consider the fact that the biggest sex organ that all of us have is our brain. That said, just like there are some people who hate kissing(what in the world?), I know some who aren’t turned on by, as Kelly Rowland once put it, verbal “Motivation” either (again, what in the world?).

Still, if you’re someone who doesn’t participate in dirty talk because you are self-conscious or scared of “not doing it right,” this month has your name written all over it. Start off my reading erotica with your partner (take turns with chapters). Verbally describe what you like doing to him and what you like him to do to you. Talk about the last sexual memory you have that drove you up the wall in the best way possible. Think about the words that you like to hear most when you’re aroused and ask him to whisper them during copulation. Amp up your sexting game (check out “Let's Talk About Sext: 30 Sexts You Can Send To Bae Right Now”).

If you’ve never really done much dirty talking before, I get how the thought of it could make you a little shy. Look at it this way, though — if you’re comfortable with letting someone literally enter you, stepping out of your comfort zone to verbally “go there” shouldn’t seem quite as frightening or frustrating. I don’t know one man who hates some nasty dialogue. And personally, I can’t think of one way that dirty talking would make sex worse instead of better.

SEPTEMBER: Mindfulness

When you get a chance, check out “How About Having A 'Mindful Orgasm' Tonight?.” Something that I have always been a fan of is mindfulness because it’s all about 1) staying in the moment; 2) being self-aware; 3) getting still; 4) remaining focused; 5) becoming curious; 6) being attentive and 7) getting out of your head and enjoying things as they come — and how can any of this not be the recipe for great sex? So y’all, September is pretty simple. Get together with your partner to discuss things that you both can do, sexually, that check off the boxes of what it means to be mindful. 

Take all of the clocks out of your bedroom. Talk about what your deepest sexual desires and urges are. Do some deep breathing and mutual massaging. Be intentional about not allowing anyone or anything to distract you while you’re cultivating intimacy with your partner. Explore each other. Ask non-triggering sex-related questions that you’ve always been wanting the answers to. Pay attention to your partner’s responses and reactions to different things that you do. Don’t overthink your actions or techniques — just have fun. Sexual mindfulness is pretty underrated but it shouldn’t be. Use this entire month to make it something that you become a lasting fan of.

SEPTEMBER: Mindfulness

When you get a chance, check out “How About Having A 'Mindful Orgasm' Tonight?.” Something that I have always been a fan of is mindfulness because it’s all about 1) staying in the moment; 2) being self-aware; 3) getting still; 4) remaining focused; 5) becoming curious; 6) being attentive and 7) getting out of your head and enjoying things as they come — and how can any of this not be the recipe for great sex? So y’all, September is pretty simple. Get together with your partner to discuss things that you both can do, sexually, that check off the boxes of what it means to be mindful. 

Take all of the clocks out of your bedroom. Talk about what your deepest sexual desires and urges are. Do some deep breathing and mutual massaging. Be intentional about not allowing anyone or anything to distract you while you’re cultivating intimacy with your partner. Explore each other. Ask non-triggering sex-related questions that you’ve always been wanting the answers to. Pay attention to your partner’s responses and reactions to different things that you do. Don’t overthink your actions or techniques — just have fun. Sexual mindfulness is pretty underrated but it shouldn’t be. Use this entire month to make it something that you become a lasting fan of.

OCTOBER: Fulfilled Fantasies

An aphorist by the name of Mason Cooley once said, “Fantasy mirrors desire. Imagination reshapes it.” I think all of this is a great way to set the stage for October’s sexual theme because I personally believe that having fantasies and wanting to fulfill them with your partner is an essential part of having a satisfying sex life because it does just what the quote says — taps into desires and builds on imagination. I can assure you that both you and your partner have some fantasies that have gone unfulfilled; it’s just that rarely do these things come up unless one is prompted to discuss them. 

So, whether it’s playing dress-up, having sex in a “taboo” location, experimenting with certain toys, taping a session (check out “Before You Make A DIY Sex Tape, Read This.”), engaging in some prostate milking (check out “What In The World Is 'Prostate Milking'? And Chile, How Do You Do It?”), becoming a squirting expert (check out “Is Squirting Really Worth The Hype?”) — whatever is running around in that brain of yours — so long as it won’t damage the integrity of your relationship and you bothare down to try it — use this month to make it happen. Fulfilled fantasies are always fun!

NOVEMBER: Emotional Intimacy

Last fall, I wrote an article for the site entitled, “6 Genuine Signs You're Making An Emotional Connection With Your Sex Partner.” One of the points that I made in it is, I don’t care if it’s a man or a woman or what the age of the individual might be, I don’t personally know anyone who doesn’t think that sex is better when there is some sort of emotional connection that’s established. So, if it seems like there is a bit of a “disconnect” between you and yours, set aside some time to get back on the same page. Go on some dates. Share some recent aspirations and goals. Affirm one another. Talk about your current feelings and be a good sounding board for him to do the same. 

Do gestures that express appreciation. Toast each other with glasses of wine or apple cider. Turn off all of your gadgets (at least a few times a week) so that you can engage in some pillow talk. Admit when you’re wrong (without justifying or deflecting) and apologize. Forgive him when he does the same. Come up with a list of things neither one of you has ever done before (outside of sex) and do them together. Emotional intimacy cultivates safety and sex is oh so good when you feel safe with the one you’re having it with.

DECEMBER: Topping Yourself

After 11 months of themes and exercises, it’s my hope that your sex life has only gotten better. Prove that to one another by using all of December to create the environment to have some of the best sex either of you has ever had — not just with one another but in your entire lives! In fact, if you can, try and plan some sort ofsexcation. It’s January now, so you’ve got plenty of time to save some coins and book a reservation. I’m telling you — when it’s purposed in your mind to make each experience better than the one before, there’s no way that sex can’t become more pleasurable, more exciting, and more gratifying than ever! 

Oh, and if you’re like me and you try to support Black-owned businesses as much as possible, Condé Nastpublished an article last spring entitled, “Black-Owned Hotels Throughout the World” that I’m thinking could definitely be the icing on the cake of your sexcation, chile. ENJOY!

Featured image by Giphy

[squirrelpudding]

January 26th, 2024

I know like every blog I write is about how much I like croomf but I !!!! Idk ! I like having someone to like. I think I like having a reason to look forward to school and stuff, and to try to get out of my normal social circle to try to talk to people. Also, I think it relates to how much I like setting small, achievable goals. Like I completed all of my new years resolutions in 2023, mostly because they were easy, but still made me feel good about achieving them. Like one of them was to put up a calendar in my room before February, and another was to finish a crochet project. Whenever my friends go out, I always set goals, like if we go to a thrift store I think of one or two items to look for. Or when we were at the mall the other day (see previous blog post), my goal was to not feel bad about spending money. I love achievable goals! Most [school] days my goal is to talk to croomf or to talk to someone outside of my main friends. And most days I complete that goal! And I feel accomplished! Anyway (I say "anyway" in every single post because I do not know how to transition to other topics), in yoga we have started to do shout-outs, where at the end of a class period we write down nice things about someone and then the next class we read them. We have only done it twice (including today), but I think it is a really nice idea! The reason I am writing about it is because I got three (!!!!), and I have convinced myself that one of them is from croomf. The first one (see attached photo) I thought was for the other girl named Anna who is in that class, but apparently she was absent last class, so I think my oomf who I mentioned in my last post wrote it. I think it is him because he was my partner for the handstand thing, which I refused to attempt, so I think he is poking fun at that :). The handwriting on the first one kind of matches oomf's vibe, but also it kind of matches croomf's vibe. The second one I thought was from croomf, but now that I am thinking about it maybe not. The first time we did the shout outs I wrote that croomf has cool socks (they had kiwis on them, I think I mentioned them in a different post), and the day where we wrote these ones I was wearing pajama pants with polar bears on them, so maybe he was just matching my vibe. Side note: my inner monologue has started to say "vibe" A LOT, but I rarely ever actually say it out loud. My inner monologue mostly says "I fuck with your vibe" when I see someone who's vibe I fuck with, but I feel like it is a weird thing to say out loud. But I can't stop thinking about it. Okay back to analyzing the notes. The reason I am hesitant about it being croomf's is because the drawing of the cat thumbs up looks like something oomf would draw. I have no evidence or reasoning to back that up, just that I feel it. The third one I think is from other oomf, who I rarely ever talk to but says hi to me all the time when we see each other. I also have no evidence for that, but there aren't that many people in that class that I talk to regularly, so I don't know who else it would be. I don't really care who they are from, I just like thinking about it because I like to know people like me and are thinking of me!

I have also attached two photos of my room because I thought they were cool. They were taken about a minute apart, the only difference is that I used the flash for the second one. These photos were from a few days ago, when it was pouring when I woke up. For some reason, when it rains I always get the urge to take pictures of my room. I think its something about the dark lighting and blueish tint that makes my room look cool. Who knows. Anyway. [insert smiling slightly-blushing happy emoji].