#these are the statistics anata

[askyoharikodia]

Can you show us their horniness level?

yohadia: rikos so horny all the time that her horny level is flooding the damn house

[seisukeseirin]

ROMANJI

WAKE UP！ Saa, o me same no jikan da yo o hime sama tachi Souzou mo dekinai you na yume no tsudzuki, misete ageru yo!

WAKE UP！SIX MEN’S SHOW TIME Saa kimi wo, yume ni goshoutai! WAKE UP！IT’S A SHOW TIME Yume mita ijou no yume ni goshoutai!

WAKE UP！SIX MEN’S SHOW TIME Saa kimi wo, yume ni goshoutai! WAKE UP！IT’S A SHOW TIME Yume mita ijou no yume ni goshoutai! 

Aa, anata no mezame wa megami no mezame Fuu, furueteru ndarou, ore to oeru yorokobi ni Nayanderu nda na, nani kite ikouka DORESU KOODO wa tenshi no SUMAIRU Isoide MAKE UP! Awatete HURRY UP! 「Awatenaide ne, kono sekai no toki o tomete ageru kara」

RANCHI wa HOTERU wo kaitotte Eiga wa RAIBU de HARIUDDO Idou wa jikayou JETTO ki de DINAA wa SEREBU to nabe PAARII Sabaku o RAKUDA de DORAIBINGU Nankyoku de PENGIN to TOREKKINGU Hoshii mono aru nara SHOPPINGU RONDON, NYUUYOOKU, PARI demo PAARII!

WAKE UP！SIX MEN’S SHOW TIME Saa kimi wo, yume ni goshoutai! WAKE UP！IT’S A SHOW TIME Yume mita ijou no yume ni goshoutai!

WAKE UP！SIX MEN’S SHOW TIME Saa kimi wo, yume ni goshoutai! WAKE UP！IT’S A SHOW TIME Yume mita ijou no yume ni goshoutai! 

Yaa, yatto aeta ne! Zutto tanoshimi ni shiteta nda You BUSU domo! Wakatteru ndaro na? Kyou wa ore dake o mitero… Kite kureta? Chigaimasu, watashi ga anata o matte itan desu. Kyou omae ni okuru no wa… yakusoku sareta kiseki Hahaha! Tanoshimi ni shitete, o hime sama tachi Nee, issho ni ikou yo! Tobikonde oide!

Bokura wa SIX, kimi ONLY ONE! Dakedo mo bokura wa ALL FOR ONE! Hitori dake o erabenai tte? Shouganai, zenbu agechau yo! Ichirazu na kimochi arawasu tame Taiyoukei, chokuretsu ni shite Inoru kotoba ni wa GURANDO KUROSU Omae o jiyuu ni aisuru tame ni, uchuu no RUURU mo kaete shimau

Sekai heiwa o PUREZENTO! (Sawayaka JASUTISU) Fuu, shitsukete yaru yo, ore iro ni! (Nikushoku-kei niku) Toukeigaku teki ni musubareru hitsuzen desu. (BYŪTĪJĪNIASU) Zensei kara no unmei da! (MISUTERIASUKŪRU) 12 ji no kane, narasasenai yo (SUĪTOPURINSU) Kimi to nara, sora datte toberu yo! (KYŪTĪFEARĪ) Kami ga koko ni inai nara… kawari ga koko ni iru kara! Me no mae o mite… Dare ga iru?

WAKE UP！SIX MEN’S SHOW TIME Saa kimi wo, yume ni goshoutai! WAKE UP！IT’S A SHOW TIME Yume mita ijou no yume ni goshoutai!

WAKE UP！SIX MEN’S SHOW TIME Saa kimi wo, yume ni goshoutai! WAKE UP！IT’S A SHOW TIME Yume mita ijou no yume ni goshoutai! 

Nanka iroiro ARE shite ageru! Ahahaa! ARE mo ARE dakara ne! ARE to ARE mo… ARE sureba ii ARE ni ARE shite, ARE ga ARE nano deshou ARE ga ARE shite, ARE no ARE o ARE shiyou ze! ARE mo ARE mo ARE ni ARE shite, ARE to ARE no ARE o ARE shiyou! Saa, oide! Issho ni ARE shiyou!

ARE shiyou! ARE shiyou! ARE shiyou! ARE shiyou! ARE shiyou! ARE shiyou! ARE shiyou! ARE shiyou! Oide～(Saa, oide! ARE shiyou! Saa, oide! ARE shiyou!) ARE shiyou～ (Issho ni ARE shiyou! Boku to ARE shiyou!) AI RABU YUU!～ (AI RABU YUU! AI RABU YUU! ARE shiyou! AI RABU YUU!) ARE shiyou～ (ARE shiyou! ARE shiyou! AI RABU YUU!)

AI RABU YUU!～ 

ENGLISH

WAKE UP!

Well, it’s time to wake up Princesses. I will show you, the continuation of a dream that can not be imagine

WAKE UP！SIX MEN’S SHOW TIME Now, I invite you to a dream WAKE UP！IT’S A SHOW TIME I invite you to the dream beyond the dream

WAKE UP！SIX MEN’S SHOW TIME Now, I invite you to a dream WAKE UP！IT’S A SHOW TIME I invite you to the dream beyond the dream

Y, your awakening is the waking up of a goddess Huh, you’re trembling to the pleasure of meeting me You are worrying, what should I wear? Dress code is angel’s smile Hurry and make up! Rushingly hurry up! 「Do not panic, I will stop the time of this world」

Lunch bought in a hotel Movie live in Hollywood Transporting with a private jet Hot pot dinner with celebrities Driving with a camel in the dessert Trekking with penguin in Antartica Want something then go shopping London, New York, Paris, even in Paris!

WAKE UP！SIX MEN’S SHOW TIME Now, I invite you to a dream WAKE UP！IT’S A SHOW TIME I invite you to the dream beyond the dream

WAKE UP！SIX MEN’S SHOW TIME Now, I invite you to a dream WAKE UP！IT’S A SHOW TIME I invite you to the dream beyond the dream

Hey, finally we met! I was looking forward to it all the time Hey ugly! You understand don’t you? Today you will only look at me You came? No, I was waiting for you What’s happening to you now…is a promised miracle Ha ha ha! Looking forward for it, princesses! Hey, let’s go together! Dive in!

We are SIX, you ONLY ONE! But we are ALL FOR ONE! You can not choose only one person? It can not be helped, I’ll give you all! To reveal a mysterious feeling Make a series of solar system Words of prayer is a Grand Cross To love you freely, let’s change the rule of the universe

The world peace is my present! (Reviving Justice) Huh, I will discipline you, to my complexion (Carnivorous Meat) Statistically it is inevitable to be connected (Beauty Genius) It is a fate from the previous life! (Mysterious Cool) I will not let the bell rang at 12 o'clock(Sweet Prince) If for you, I’ll even fly to the sky (Cutie Fairy) If God is not here … the substitute is here! Look in front of you … Who is there?

WAKE UP！SIX MEN’S SHOW TIME Now, I invite you to a dream WAKE UP！IT’S A SHOW TIME I invite you to the dream beyond the dream

WAKE UP！SIX MEN’S SHOW TIME Now, I invite you to a dream WAKE UP！IT’S A SHOW TIME I invite you to the dream beyond the dream

I will give you various of that! Ahaha! Because that is also that! That one and that one … it’s better if it’s that That that do that, is probably that’s that That is doing that, let’s do that’s that in that! That one and that one is also doing that, let’s do that’s that in that and that! Come on, come here! Let’s do that together!

Let’s do that! Let’s do that! Let’s do that! Let’s do that! Let’s do that! Let’s do that! Let’s do that! Let’s do that! Come here!～ (Come on, come here, let’s do that! Come on, come here, let’s do that!) Let’s do that!～ (Let’s do that together! Do that with me!) I Love You!～ (I Love You! I Love You! Let’s do that! I Love You!) Let’s do that!～ (Let’s do that! Let’s do that! I Love You!)

I Love You!～

KANJI

WAKE UP！

さぁ、お目覚めの時間だよお姫様たち。 想像もできないような夢の続き、見せてあげるよ！

WAKE UP！SIX MEN’S SHOW TIME さぁ君を、夢にご招待！ WAKE UP！IT’S A SHOW TIME 夢見た以上の夢にご招待！

WAKE UP！SIX MEN’S SHOW TIME さぁ君を、夢にご招待！ WAKE UP！IT’S A SHOW TIME 夢見た以上の夢にご招待！ 

嗚呼、貴女の目覚めは女神の目覚め フッ、震えてるんだろう、、 俺と逢える喜びに 悩んでるんだな、何着て行こうか ドレスコードは天使のスマイル 急いでMAKE UP！慌ててHURRY UP！ 「慌てないでね、この世界の時を止めてあげるから」

ランチはホテルを買い取って 映画はライブでハリウッド 移動は自家用ジェット機で ディナーはセレブと鍋パーリー 砂漠をラクダでドライビング 南極でペンギンとトレッキング 欲しいものあるならショッピング ロンドン・ニューヨーク・パリでもパーリー！

WAKE UP！SIX MEN’S SHOW TIME さぁ君を、夢にご招待！ WAKE UP！IT’S A SHOW TIME 夢見た以上の夢にご招待！

WAKE UP！SIX MEN’S SHOW TIME さぁ君を、夢にご招待！ WAKE UP！IT’S A SHOW TIME 夢見た以上の夢にご招待！ 

やあ、やっと会えたね！ずっと楽しみにしてたんだ ようブスども！分かってるんだろーな？今日は俺だけを見てろ… 来てくれた？違います、私が貴女を待っていたんです。 今日お前に贈るのは…約束された奇跡 ハハハッ！楽しみにしてて、お姫様たち！ ねぇ、一緒に行こうよ！飛び込んでおいで！

僕らはSIX、君ONLY ONE！だけども僕らはALL FOR ONE！ 一人だけを選べないって？しょうがない、全部あげちゃうよ！ 一途な気持ち表すため 太陽系、直列にして 祈る言葉にはグランドクロス！ お前を自由に愛するために、宇宙のルールも変えてしまおう

世界平和をプレゼント！(爽やかジャスティス) フッ、躾けてやるよ、俺色に！(肉食系・肉) 統計学的に結ばれる必然です。(ビューティージーニアス) 前世からの運命だ！(ミステリアスクール) 12時の鐘、鳴らさせないよ(スイートプリンス) 君となら、空だって飛べるよ！(キューティーフェアリー) 神がここにいないなら…代わりがここにいるから！ 目の前を見て… 誰がいる？

WAKE UP！SIX MEN’S SHOW TIME さぁ君を、夢にご招待！ WAKE UP！IT’S A SHOW TIME 夢見た以上の夢にご招待！

WAKE UP！SIX MEN’S SHOW TIME さぁ君を、夢にご招待！ WAKE UP！IT’S A SHOW TIME 夢見た以上の夢にご招待！ 

なんかいろいろアレしてあげる！ アハハッ！アレもアレだからね！ アレとアレも…アレすればいい アレにアレして、アレがアレなのでしょう アレがアレして、アレのアレをアレしようぜ！ アレもアレもアレにアレして、アレとアレのアレをアレしよう！ さぁ、おいで！一緒にアレしよう！

アレしよう！ アレしよう！ アレしよう！ アレしよう！ アレしよう！ アレしよう！ アレしよう！ アレしよう！ おいで！～ (さぁ、おいで！ アレしよう！ さぁ、おいで！ アレしよう！) アレしよう！～ (一緒にアレしよう！僕とアレしよう！) AI RABU YUU!～ (AI RABU YUU! AI RABU YUU! アレしよう！ AI RABU YUU!) アレしよう！～ (アレしよう！ アレしよう！ AI RABU YUU!)

AI RABU YUU!～

DISCLAIMER

I DO NOT OWN THIS PROPERTY (THE MUSICS NOR THE CHARACTERS), ALL CREDITS ARE GIVEN TO THE STAGE PLAY OF “OSOMATSU-SAN ON STAGE ～SIX MEN’S SHOW TIME [ おそ松さん on STAGE ～SIX MEN‘S SHOW TIME ]” AND THE MUSIC ARTIST “F6 - IZAWA YUKI [井澤勇貴], WADA MASANARI [ 和田雅成 ], KENTO ONO [小野健斗], ASATO YUYA [安里勇哉], WAGO SHINICHI [和合真一] & NAKAYAMA YUKI [中山優貴]”

[pharaohsparklefists]

Episode 105, part 1: we should all get an AWARD for sitting through this duel tbh

At the beginning of the episode, Jounouchi helpfully recaps in two sentences what it took me three whole posts to do, that is, he started to duel ~Judge Man~...

Love the way “bit too” is emphasised. It makes me hear it in like a dorky British comedian way, like Richard Ayoade or something.

Anyway, Jounouchi presses on, cleaving tight to his ultimate strategy:

[voice=advertisement] Dueling and it’s not going your way? Lacking a coherent strategy? Unsure how to win? From an experienced finalist of both the kidnapping extravaganza, Duelist Kingdom, and the massive corporate overreach, Battle City, comes the ultimate strategic Duel Advice(tm): Don’t bother thinking about it!! [/voice]

Jounouchi’s not doing great but he’s sure he can turn it around by using Devil Dice to reduce Judge Man’s monster’s attack points. The dice initially lands on a six, comes to a complete stop, then suspiciously RISES UP OFF THE GROUND, SPINS WILDLY, AND LANDS ON A ONE

Yes, Jounouchi, A ONE.

No one points this out as being OBVIOUSLY WILDLY SUSPICIOUS. Against the nature of dice, and physics, and games, and everything. Easily explained by the fact that Jou’s opponent can change his own appearance, make entire courtrooms appear, etc etc, because THEY’RE IN A VIRTUAL REALITY.

But no. No one comments. Except this fucko. In his head. Like a loser who wants to be an ~~eeevil mastermind~~. 

Once again. Why. Did he change into Judge Man. When he could use. An equally virtual simulacrum of his real body?????????

Anyway! Jounouchi’s not worried. He got quote-unquote unlucky with Devil Dice, but Angel Dice will sort him out! If he can raise the attack of his OWN monster, that’s just as good!

... It’s a one-in-thirty-six chance, Jounouchi. Exactly the same chance as both dice landing on six, which they both did, before Judge Man intervened.

I wonder if -- going with the idea that the Virtual World is sort of pliable, and Judge Man is just exerting his will on the digital reality, as perhaps Yami did when he walked on the water -- Jounouchi did it too, unconsciously, willing the dice to land on six? And Judge Man took it a step further then, moving the dice after they already landed, which Jou “can’t” do because he doesn’t realise it would actually work if he only tried?

Anyway, the cheer squad is appalled -- APPALLED -- by this statistically unlikely but not impossible event:

Judge Man continues the duel, drawing Pot of Greed, to which Jounouchi, with the swiftness and inevitability of a lethal superheated cloud of gas and tephra obliterating everything in its path as it flows at up to 700km/hr down the side of an explosive andesitic volcano #pyroclasticflowjokes, replies:

“Whatever does it DO????”

Faced with TWO WHOLE NEW CARDS FROM JUDGE MAN’S DECK, Jounouchi decides to do the only thing he can do, really really lean in hard on the gambling deck:

This fuckin card is literally just called Gamble. (Or rather, gyanburu.) You gamble on it.

It’s the gamble card.

Look, where the hell are they getting these silver coins with the Eye on one side??? No one comments on them, they’re not a VR thing, they must already have them. It made almost no sense that Yugi had one, it makes even less sense that Jounouchi has one.

Also I want one.

Jounouchi places his faith in one last draw gamble

Is there? Do we think there is? Is this a real thing? I thought it was a metaphor but now he seems genuinely worried that “she” has abandoned him. Like demi-gods are canonically real, in their universe. I wonder if Pegasus trapped her in a fucking card for their fucking card game...

And Judge Man gets all judgey... #quellesurprise

Look, fucko, like, broadly speaking, I agree with you. The gambling gimmick is kind of crap, and is clearly powered by the engine of Plot, and is a super weird choice for Jounouchi specifically (”raised” by an abusive, alcoholic gambler in the manga, leaving him with maladaptive coping mechanisms). But you didn’t LURE HIM INTO IT. He had literally one card left in his hand, OF COURSE he used the Gamble card. He’s running a fucking gambling deck. What was he supposed to do? Summon new cards from the ether? I mean, MAYBE. That’s the kind of shit you might be able to do in VR, but Jou doesn’t know that. Whatever.

Speaking of “maladaptive coping mechanisms”, where are the Kaiba bros?

Taking a break from shouting at the sky, Seto listens to Mokuba shout at the sea.

Really, Mokuba? Why? Why did this identical door make you think that it wouldn’t be like all the other identical doors, which have so far just led to startlingly beautiful landscapes or terrifyingly accurate recreations of your own memories?

After calling Noah a jerk who pisses him off #hardsame, Mokuba goes in for the killing blow

Seto: Ah, so you DO admire him?

Mokuba: ???

Anyway then, I swear to god, Seto just goes RIGHT back to shouting at the sky, and Noah...

... gets some kind of creepy-ass kick out of it, idk.

Let’s check back in on the duel:

Ah, a fine contender for Out Of Context Yu-Gi-Oh! Bullshit

Oh, by the way, were you wondering if Judge Man kept up the ridiculous judge roleplay shit throughout the duel?

HE SURE DID (actually only intermittently, which is funny, because he would switch pronouns: he uses kimi (you, informal) for Jounouchi mostly but switches to anata (you, formal) when he’s Judging)

Jounouchi busts out the last line of defense, the stalward veterans of dicey situations, the tried-and-true self-sacrificing heroes...

ADORABLE FUZZY GOAT-BABIES

Judge Man slices through them in two consecutive turns using his two active monsters and I didn’t bother screencapping it because (a) it was boring and (b) it was even boringer the second time, which was reused animation with the goats re-coloured #smh

Jounouchi’s friends are chinnily worried and Yugi is specifically suspicious...

Yami is also suspicious...

“He didn’t lose, Yugi. He failed.”

The writing on this show is truly scintillating.

Just as Yugi and Yami blotchily agree that something Suspicious is up, an Angel from On High shines the Divine Light of Heaven unto the duel arena with the most glorious of news...

Halle-fuckin-lujah!