#these are the rest of the memes from the zine i made for my friend. they're the. weirder ones.

[blondie-drawings]

holding space for whatever the hell this is /pt1/pt2/pt3/pt4

[hermannsthumb]

For the summer prompts I’ll take a number 16 and a number 9 with extra sauce :^)

9. Stargazing + 16. Weddings

from the summer prompts meme here

another little summer prompt as a break while I work on zine stuff and do a million other things, WAHOO

---------------------------------

One of the most annoying parts about Hermann is that he actually makes for decent company when they’re not forced to stay within a two-foot radius of each other in the confines of the lab. Even more annoying is that Newt actually enjoys it. (Ugh.) He enjoys it even more now that they don’t have to share a lab at all and Hermann has started being kind of nice to him. And, you know, does other stuff with him. They’re not really boyfriends yet, because Newt is too afraid to use that term in front of Hermann—he knows Hermann would probably call him juvenile or something—but they’re inching towards it. Slowly. Very, very slowly, like the two emotionally inexperienced academics they are.

Newt’s fine with it, mostly. He wishes someone would invent a word between boyfriend and partner that he could use that doesn’t make him want to curl up in agony. It does make social situations pretty weird sometimes, though, like when he took Hermann to dinner with his dad after one of their big lectures and he couldn’t exactly say this is the guy from work I hooked my brain up to and like to make out with, or when he met some of Hermann’s family at one “we didn’t die!” gala or another and Hermann stiffly called Newt his companion (somehow more weirdly suggestive than literally anything else he could’ve said?).

It’s made this one in particular kind of weird.

They’re at the wedding of a mutual—well, Newt’s not sure if he would call the guy a friend, acquaintance maybe, research collaborator (which also sounds like something Hermann would introduce Newt as, to be honest, but Newt means it for real)—and he clearly assumed there was more going on with Newt and Hermann than just some humble companionship when he sent out their invitation. Singular invitation. Both of their names at the top, no mention of an allotted plus one(s) anywhere on it. It was more understandable than presumptuous, at least, since they are kind of joined at the hip and still very slightly at the mind. Newt and Hermann met the kid (okay, he was well into his twenties, but that's basically a kid) when he interned as a research assistant in the lab for a few months, back at the start of Newt and Hermann’s tenure with the PPDC when they still had funding and willing participants for that kinda thing. Newt always privately suspected that he had a little bit of a thing for Hermann—and seeing the incredibly dorky groom today all but confirms that. Definitely has a type.

Newt has also always suspected the kid was assuming things about Hermann’s relationship with Newt the entirety of his time under their supervision, which, you know, this also kind of confirms.

“I’ve never liked weddings much,” Hermann says, stirring a straw aimlessly through his cocktail. Their former-intern has tucked them away at a private table in the very back of the reception hall, out of sight and out of earshot, which would probably be an insult coming from anyone who isn’t one-hundred-percent aware of how bad Newt and Hermann are at socializing. It works out better for everyone this way—Newt and Hermann don’t embarrass themselves or the wedding party. “Seems like a lot of fuss over nothing. My brother’s had two now, and neither of them have taken—just a waste of time and money. ”

Newt likes the open bar at weddings, and he likes getting tipsy enough for it to become socially acceptable to dance like an idiot with strangers, but the rest of it is, yeah, pretty boring. He hasn’t been to a wedding since his cousin got married a couple years back. Newt flew all the way back to Germany for that, and all by himself, because he couldn’t bribe Hermann into being his totally platonic(/vitriolic, since they still pretended to hate each other back then) plus-one for the night. Still, he loves being a pain in Hermann’s ass, and the need to be a contrarian majorly outweighs the fact that he, you know, agrees with the guy. “Weddings are fun,” Newt says, mock-defensively. “I’m sorry you’re not romantic enough to appreciate them.”

Hermann snorts and nudges their knees together under the table, and Newt caves with a grin. “We could just leave,” Newt suggests. He steals a sip of Hermann’s drink. “I don’t think anyone would even notice. I can call us an Uber and we could be back at the hotel in literally thirty minutes.” It’s his turn to nudge Hermann. “We came, we said hi, we met the husband, we left them a gift—” A joint gift, with a yay congrats! card signed by them both, they were very much not dodging those relationship assumptions. “—so I’m thinking our social obligations are prettttty much done?”

The romantic thing to do would be to ask Hermann to dance. They could wait for a slow song, and Newt could hold his weight enough for them to sway awkwardly like two middle-schoolers for a little bit, and then Hermann would give him a furtive and equally awkward kiss. Very romantic. It would be fun to do that if it wasn’t so hot in here. July heat and a million people crammed into a tiny ballroom: not conducive to comfort. Newton took off his suit coat and undid his tie about an hour ago, and unbuttoned his shirt down past his collarbones (to Hermann’s scandalized judgement) not long after.

The second most romantic thing Newt could do is pay for the Uber. Hermann visibly wrestles with Newt’s suggestion before finally sagging in on himself. “We ought to stay a little longer,” he says, sadly. He does the unthinkable a moment later and actually takes off his own blazer and ugly quote-unquote dressy vest. Newt spots sweat beading his brow beneath his uneven bangs.

The third most romantic thing to do would be to help Hermann preserve his dignity before—God forbid!—he undoes his collar, which he's buttoned all the way to his throat in typical Hermann fashion. The glass doors to the patio adjacent to the ballroom have been propped open to let in a breeze, and though Newt can’t imagine it’s any less humid or muggy out there, any fresh air would be an improvement. Hermann doesn’t do well in large crowds for very long and Newt can practically feel the last of his patience ebbing away. If someone so much as tries to small talk with them Hermann might lose it for real. Plus—the venue is isolated enough that Newt suspects they might have a pretty nice view of the night sky, something that they've been sorely missing out on from all those years slouching around a damp basement.

He stands and holds out a hand in offering to Hermann. “Let’s go outside,” he says. “We can look at the stars.” Also, Hermann looks kind of cute all flushed and sweaty, and if Newt can't dance with him he'll see if he can snag a kiss or two. Hermann raises his eyebrows at this, but gropes for his cane and takes Newt's hand anyway.

The patio is thankfully deserted. Heat aside, it’s pretty nice out: the space is enclosed by tall, well-maintained shrubs strung with twinkle lights, and there are a handful of benches spaced around evenly. The night breeze is warm but better than nothing. Hermann primly dabs at his face with his handkerchief as he takes a seat at one of the benches, and Newt drops in a sprawl next to him. They can just hear the dumb early-aughts pop song the DJ had been playing through the crack in the door. Hermann says nothing when Newt tucks an arm around his neck. “We have an hour until the reception is meant to end,” Hermann says, glaring at his analog wristwatch, like he thinks that will make time pass faster. "Is there a socially acceptable time to leave before then? We could invent an excuse. Or—" A sigh. "Newton."

Newt has pressed his face to Hermann’s neck to leave little kisses at his jaw, and Hermann wriggles around, dodging further attempts with a wrinkled nose and another funny, whining exclamation of Newt’s name. “Ah, ah, not in public,” he says. “It’s—” Unbecoming, Newt thinks in his Hermann impression, and maybe he mutters it too. But Hermann kisses him properly anyway, toying idly with the loose ends of Newt’s tie before pushing him away. “Looking at the stars?” he echoes Newt sarcastically.

“I did mean it,” Newt says, with another goofy grin. “Kind of.” They're efficient men (sometimes) and he imagines they could very easily find a way to compromise and multitask.

“You should know you're hardly the only one to try that,” Hermann says, and Newt thinks, with a flash of hot embarrassment, of the number of times Hermann has talked about the stargazing dates he used to go on in college with the hot nerds in his chess club. Well, Newt’s paraphrasing that last part. Hermann actually said something like charming young men, but Newt thinks the odds of someone being in chess club and not being a nerd are pretty slim, which Newt (who was also in a chess club) has firsthand knowledge of.

"But," Hermann continues, his eyes dropping down to the curls of ink on Newt's semi-exposed chest, "I suppose we do have time to kill."

[thegoldenshi-shi]

Sunny Simp Anon here!

I had ordered the zine when preorders first started and when I saw that you were in the zine many months later i got very excited!!

I took a pic and sent it to Smooch and shared the rest of the art with them and their friends and we loved it all and I love what you did with Jazz ans Prowl!!

The officiator: Any one object?

Prowl: *silently glaring*

Jazz: *had a cannon* :D

Also they look so good and I want to frame your art on my wall but I cant because it’s in a book but it’s so pretty and I love it and i want to hug it but it’s paper and akskdldkdk

Many conflict here you see

Also personal update myself, I probably didn’t do good on one of my exams today because i forgot there was an exam and I didn’t have my book and it was open book and so like, i didn’t do good but it is what it is

Also I want to hold your sideswipe so much, he is such a pretty boi and when he pops up he overtakes Sunny for a minute and is the star of the show and he knows he’s a pretty boi and will use it

I want to hold him so badly and domestic soft thoughts are my enemy cause I want them to be happy and heal from their pain and they are twins and they know each other the best and they went through hell and back and deserve good things!!!

Let Sunny become a famous artist again, let Sideswipe help with selling his brother’s paintings and also maybe own a lil bar and stuff also Bob being his cute self and get doted on and Sunny also maybe makes vent arts and let out his pain

I do personally headcanon that Sunny makes some vent arts but keeps some of them secret cause he doesn’t want to worry Sides too much with how he feels and it helped to just draw it out

Also me and my friends in the JazzProwl discord server made a lil meme thing into a bug angsty au and then we talked about the future after they mostly heal and it was from dark and angsty and stuff to more fluffy but still some angst(it’s with the Elite trine but i am gonna ask if we wanna include other ships and other lil stories besides the elite trine’s)

Anyways! I hope to be in your inbox again soon but some smaller things jn my life came up that needed my attention so I had to focus on those for a lil bit but i will return

-Sunny Simp Anon💛

Oh! You ordered a Monochromatic zine?

That's so exciting! I just got mine a few days ago~ I'm so happy to hear that you like my piece! I was really nervous about it because it was kinda spoofy compared to the others. It's pretty silly even by my normal standards hehe As far as my digital work goes, Sideswipe has been given so much love lately. It's great that his "pretty boi" status has been recognized. I purposefully designed him to look more friendly and open, so if he's making you think soft domestic things then I have done my job correctly hehe. On the subject of Sunstreaker's art habits, I think all artists make vent pieces at some point, writers and other creative mediums too (I know I do). So Sunny does probably have some pieces squirreled away here and there, I agree. I'm glad you're having fun on the JazzProwl server, and hope you get through whatever requires your attention now.

Don't rush through anything, I will still be here when you get done hehe.

[tiggymalvern]

Eight shows to get to know me, tagged by @dreamerinsilico. Only the first couple are in any sort of rational order. 1. Blake's 7. The original disaster crew, in which Blake the idealist wants to take down the fascist dictatorship. Unfortunately he's stuck on a spaceship with a bunch of accidental randos, only some of whom are idealists. The rest of them just want enough money to go and live somewhere the government won't bug them. I was a few weeks short of seven when I started watching it (yes, that was too young) and eleven when it ended. It was the first TV I saw where bad things happened to the protagonists, where they died and it made one hell of an impression. (Also, Servalan gave me the first inklings I was bi.) Since the BBC didn't broadcast a repeat, I didn't see it again until I was nineteen and it got a release on video tape. And it was SO MUCH BETTER even than I'd remembered. All the nuances, all the moral quandries had completely passed me by as a kid. What might you have to do to take down a fascist dictatorship? Where do you draw the line on justifying collateral damage? Then I discovered that there was a fandom for this show, that people wrote fanfics and published them in zines, and the university intranet (there was no internet) had message boards where people TALKED about it. It's not an overstatement to say that it changed the course of my entire life. This show is also probably responsible for my lifelong love of morally grey protagonists who snark at each other. So, that one got long, it always does. Shorter from now on, I promise! (Okay, maybe not that much shorter. How everyone else managed to do this meme without going off about their obsessions, I have no idea.) 2. Due South. My first slash fandom, illustrating my other recurrent fannish addiction, besides the snarky disaster crew - the two people who are odd, who are loners (or who socialise, but have acquaintances, not friends) and then they meet each other and they just fit 💗💗💗 And let's be honest, those two people were usually two men, because of the misogynistic writing for TV shows. 3. Burn Notice. My current snarky disaster crew obsession :-))) 4. Hannibal. Trope number two, the loners who fit, put together in one of the best, most complex TV shows ever written. It doesn't just happen to push my buttons, it's also objectively, amazingly good. The first time you watch it, you love Will Graham and want to squish him and protect him, and then slowly you find out more and more. And then you go back for the first rewatch and you realise that it was there, all the time, so many hints, but it was so carefully done that you just didn't see it. (I have stated before and will again that season two of Hannibal is probably the best single season of any TV show I have ever seen.) 5. Black Sails. Another snarky disaster crew, in which practically everyone is queer (SO many bisexuals, yay!). The first season is not what it became, because the writers started carefully with an action show about pirates chasing gold. And with that success, from season two, they were free to write the show they wanted. A show about idealism and love and rage at the world, in which every character is so well written that each time alliances shift and enemies become friends or friends betray each other, it's justified and it makes sense in terms of their motivations and who they are. 6. Deep Space Nine. The Trek series that changed the franchise. Arc plot! Morally grey characters, hello Garak! A Federation captain who says to hell with the rules, I'm doing what seems right at the time :-) 7. Trigun. I wondered whether to put this one in because I prefer the manga to the anime (the manga's longer, with more complexity, especially in Vash). But it's weird loners who instantly click perfection, with the added twist that one of them was put there to betray the other from the start, and then he can't and the angst is off the scale. 8. Farscape. A snarky disaster crew with the amazing bonus of Aeryn Sun, one of those rare at the time female characters who was as amazing and well written as any of the males. (I haven't watched Farscape in many years. I probably should, I wonder how it's held up?)

As usual, tag yourself if you wish to play :-)

[ingo-ingoing-ingone]

Hi! Here’s a pinned masterpost of all the content I’ve made for this fandom under the cut. Also I have a small tag directory of things to black/whitelist as you see fit.

Also a personal post about my blog

#SUBMAS ANGST is for anything involving sad, potentially upsetting things. Even if it’s funny, or a shitpost. I use this liberally because I want my blog to be for any fan to enjoy!!

#SUBMAS POSITIVITY will be used for any post involving non-angsty content of the boys. Certain things like “Ingo takes care of Emmet with a cold” will still go in here, just no actual angst

#REUNION will be used to tag just that: post-PLA reunion content! Now this one is pretty positive but! Some people may want to block the tag due to the fact that it’s all noncanon and that makes them sad. Or whitelist it. Either way! Reunions will be tagged!

#PLA ERA will be for any and all content during the separation. Either Ingo or Emmet or anyone else. Ingo in Hisui content will all get this tag!

#MINORS STAY BEHIND THE YELLOW LINE is for suggestive content. Once on a very blue moon I may reblog something suggestive, but it has to be funny enough for me to do so. Wanna keep this for all ages! (I am an adult and do swear though, just a heads up.)

Also, ***no blankshippers or anyone like that***. I will block on sight, I swear. This keeps happening. GO AWAY.

Anyways! My content is under the cut :)

Fanfictions: Since I ran out of links for this post, find all my fics HERE on my AO3! Below are quick descriptions of them all

Closing Doors - Emmet angst St. Elmo’s Fire - reunion fic Remember Who You Are - Ingo angst w/ hopeful ending Negative Space - Emmet angst The Nimbasa Trio Walks Into a Bar... - silly fic about drinking with friends Declaration of Intent - Gift fic about Ingo and a friend’s OC Positive Space - post-reunion hurt/comfort Storm Song - collab fic of Ingo in Hisui and Volo The Good In Me - Pre-PLA angst, heed the tags; what if Plasma attacked the subway Two-Headed - Gift fic of a submas fusion AU. Contains angst. I Can Feel the Darkness - Tragic alt end of The Good In Me. Mortal Singularity - Submas fusion AU hurt/comfort Trying Again - Gift fic about Ingo and a friend’s OC doing their best Ingo-syncracies - Since Ingo’s from the future, he has weird habits Subway Meme-sters - Ingo vs. Emmet meme competition! Do Not Stand at My Grave and Cry - Ingo is laid to rest He Trusts You - Spinoff of I Can Feel the Darkness It’s a Wonderful Life - the classic Christmas movie but make it submas The Trial - Ingo crashes his own murder trial Fear Not the Descent - Emmet gets into caving while Ingo is missing Remembered - Ingo remembers while still in Hisui Always By Your Side - submas conjoined AU longfic *disclaimer* Spare Parts - Ei deals with insecurity while back in Unova I Am Not There, I Did Not Die - Ingo and Emmet, post-reunion, contemplate time travel and graves Rise - Emmet runs to his brother Beyond All Reach - Ingo returns home to things not as he left them. Ghetsis Wins AU Keep Us Together As the Lights Go Dark - ABYS Ghostmmet spinoff Outliers Together - college submas; Ingo worries about them sticking together and Emmet reassures him. Derivatives - Emmet fears change, especially after the Hisui years, but now he has Ingo to help. A Tale as Old as Rime - the Grey family goes to pacify Kyurem

No Turning Back - Destination Unown zine crossover fic with Demon Slayer You're Still You, After All - Emmet and Ingo deal with a bad day post-Hisui Home Station - Jackie X Furze cute oneshot What Can You See On the Horizon? - Ingo comes out of a portal terribly injured I'll Sleep When I've Fainted - Akari fights Arceus in the Eternal Battle Reverie; for the In Pursuit of Victory zine A Lost Light Looking to Be Seen - Ghost Emmet and Ingo learn ghost lore

Fanart:

True Story ▲ Joltiks Georg ▽ Violence! ▲ Two of Them ▽Drawpile #1 ▲ Who’s Driving? ▽ Hair Headcanons ▲ Endling ▽ Train Nap ▲ Forget-Me-Not ▽ Where Do We Go? ▲ Brother’s Day ▽ Post-PLA Ingo ▲ InGhost ▽ Shaming Mankind ▲ Sexyman Shenanigans ▽ Masking ▲ 1: Ghost ▽ 3: Robot ▲ Ingo Doodle ▽ Beach Day ▲ Sleepy AU Twins ▲ ABYS References ▽ ABYS Kids ▲ Apartment Layout ▽ He Won! ▲ 1: Pokemon ▽ 2: Family ▲ 3: Alt Outfit ▽ 4: Memories ▲ 5: Hobby ▽ 6: Emotions ▲ 7: Trains/Subway ▽ 8: Festival ▲ 9: Storm ▽ 10: Monster/Fusion ▲ 11: Visiting Another Region ▽ 12: At Work/the Office ▲ 13: Favorite Ship ▽ 14: Music ▲ 15: Summer ▽ 16: Memes ▲ 17: Silly ▽ 18: Food and Drink ▲ 19: AU/Crossover ▲ 20: Bug ▽ 21: Loss ▲ 23: Dreams ▽ 24: All Smiles ▲ 25: Emmet and Your OC ▽ 26: Home ▲ 27: Fairytale ▽ 28: A Day Off ▲ 29: Flowers ▽ 30: Party ▲ 31: Free Space Reunion Hug ▽ Con Doodles ▲ Sneasler Sticker

Christmas Sweater(s) ▽ 1: Bug Hunt ▲ 2: White ▽ 3: Battle ▲ 4: Sound ▽ 5: Forest ▲ 6: Cook ▽ 7: Voice ▲ 8: Cozy ▽ 9: Accessories ▲ 10: New Pokemon ▽ 11: Photo ▲ 12: Illusion ▽ 13: Stars ▲ 14: Game Night ▽ 15: Coffee Break ▲ 16: Hat ▽ 17: AU ▲ 18: Dance ▽ 19: Rose ▲ 20: First Day of Summer ▽ 21: Road Trip ▲ 22: Favorite Food ▽ 23: Fishing ▲ 24: Books ▽ 25: Rainbow ▲ 26: Comfort ▽ 27: Routine ▲ 28: Reunion ▽ 29: Smile

Other:

Submas Playlist - Youtube, contains angst

Submas Song Sunday:

Still Feel ▲ Always Gold ▽ I Bet My Life ▲ I Lived ▽ Fresh Static Snow ▲ When Can I See You Again? ▽ Get Me Away From Here, I’m Dying ▲ Never Be Alone ▽ Home

[paintedrecs]

‘It didn’t snow in their part of California; it never had, and likely never would. But that didn’t stop him from asking, or longing, once he was too old to believe his parents could make anything happen. Maybe it wasn’t the natural state of the world, for a town that wasn’t far enough north, or high enough in the mountains, to gather that magical dusting he daydreamed about every winter. The thing was, though. Most of the world didn’t know werewolves existed outside of fairy tales and horror films. People relied on what they knew, and what they’d been taught, without opening their eyes to other possibilities.’

Honestly I just want the origin for this story. What led to it, what parts did you know first, etc. it’s one of my favorites and I love it.

Submissions are actually kinda weird (I’ve never used them before), so I don’t know if there’s a better way to post this, but! We’ll try it this way.

For this meme. 

Excerpt from the opening of tide pulls from the moon (Sterek, 45k, canon divergent, future fic)

I’m very fond of this fic, which people tend to refer to as “warm” and “healing.” Two things I wanted to achieve with it, so that’s always awesome to hear. I’m really glad that you like it! 

Funny story..........this was one of my failed attempts to write a 3k fic for the Sterek Zine. I tried like....three times, I think, and they all ballooned too much, because writing within a strict word limit is really difficult for me. (One of the reasons it’s probably the only zine I’ll ever be a part of.) So I sat down and just cranked out the rest of this fic instead, which ended up being one of my favorites for a long time.

It’s been long enough now (five years since I posted it!!!) that I honestly don’t really remember the initial inspiration or plan. I do know I was sitting in one of my favorite local coffee shops, drinking a latte. I was thinking about winter (a thing I don’t get in California) and about Derek and his family. I think I was planning for it to be a very short thing about his family - the image of his grandmother came right away - that would lead into a scene with Stiles in the snow, maybe building a snowman. Something soft and sweet about new beginnings.

Then I started writing, and I got into a little bit of the family feels, as one does with the Hales, and then this scene happened:

The holidays made Derek happy, every year, even if the weather never did shift over into the picture-perfect landscape all the movies and songs lingered over lovingly.

He even secretly loved being born on Christmas Day - "the best gift I've ever received," his mom would say. "Me too," Laura would add, since her reward for a ruined Christmas spent in the hospital had been a silky black puppy with big eyes and bigger paws. She'd spent years trying to shift into her full wolf form so they could tumble together in the Preserve, two woodland creatures at play.

She hadn't managed it - not then. Not until years later, long after the Alpha powers had coursed through her body and left her shaking and sobbing, grey-white flakes of ash drifting softly in the air and settling onto their bowed shoulders, coating their smoldering house and scorched yard into a mockery of the winter wonderland Derek had always dreamed about.

It'd been snowing in New York the day he felt her die.

And suddenly I knew this wasn’t going to be a short fic. It had to be canon compliant (or at least, compliant with the parts of canon I’m willing to acknowledge), and somewhere in the future, with Derek leaving Beacon Hills for a place where he could find things he’d never get if he stayed. Snow, maybe. Distance from both the good and horrific memories of his past. Maybe some kind of healing, if he could ever manage that.

(More under the cut.)

Derek leaving Beacon Hills isn’t a new concept - I’ve been reading Sterek fics for years, so I’d seen plenty of this concept before - but I hadn’t ever read one where he went to England. And I just...I don’t know. I took him to a place where I’d been during a sort of transitional point in my life, where I’ve felt some of the deepest contentment.

I realized after writing and editing and fact-checking and posting my fic that I’d made a mistake and Cornwall actually does not get snow either, at least not to the thickly soft level I’d described at the end, so just...ignore that part. It’s a fantasy world. In this world, Cornwall gets more than a little dusting of snow in the winters, okay. (I’d visited for several weeks during the summer, had been in England during the winter but not in that part of it, and had foolishly relied on googling images, where I’d seen evidence of snow. I mercilessly research all my fics now, largely because of this error, hahaha)

Anyway, the point is that Cornwall is this little jewel of a place that’s small and quiet and beautiful and slow-paced enough that I could see Derek really finding his footing and learning how to be himself in a world that had been so incredibly damaging for so much of his life.

Most of the settings are real places I’ve been to. Derek’s house, with the deck overlooking the tidal river, is a house my best friend’s godmother owns, and which I wish I could someday retire to. The three of us drank tea out there and journaled in the mornings and watched the river pull back, leaving boats stranded - but only until the tide came rushing back in to free them.

We walked through a bluebell-thick wood to a pub with cozy wooden booths and plates of crunchy-boned fish. We went to the Eden Project, to Land’s End, to a modern art gallery. I was, during this particular trip, pretty deeply in love with my friend, who was not in love with me, and whom I never told.

I think all of that just added.......emotional depth when I pulled out those memories and shaped them into a story that didn’t match any of my actual experiences, but drew from a backdrop of physical settings I’d embedded in my soul.

This was a beautiful place that I still think of very fondly. I wanted Derek to be able to live in a place like that - to have his pack, Stiles, his new family, join him there and see what kind of peace and happiness he’d found.

tide pulls has always been a pretty personal story to me, and I think that’s why it always makes me so happy when readers come out of it saying they feel a sense of healing and contentment, too. 

[altumvidetur]

Pacific Rim: Newmann Fic Recs

So, I was thinking about the coronavirus pandemic and what I could do to help people out. I’m isolated because I’m at higher risk, so I can’t really offer to go out for my elderly neighbors or my family… but I thought I could try to help keep people entertained.

Because I don’t have an AO3 account right now, I’ve been compiling fic recs for my own amusement for a year or so. And I thought – maybe that’s the time to share these with everyone? So everyone will have plenty of things to read while they have to stay at home, or even to escape anxiety a little bit if you’re forced to go out.

Of course, these cater to my own tastes, so you may find stuff you don’t like around here. I never include works in progress. The Mature and Explicit works will be in italic. I ask you to READ THE WORK’S TAGS before continuing, so you won’t find anything that makes you uncomfortable.

I haven’t managed to read the whole Newmann tag yet (started on page 183, am now on page 77). From what I’ve gathered, most of these recs are from before Pacific Rim Uprising. I watched that movie (although I wish I hadn’t), so feel free to discuss it. I hope you like them!

“The Things That Stay” ‘verse, by singagainsoon

a collection of non-linear moments, snapshots, tiny dots on an endless timeline

i would kill to make you feel, by singagainsoon

Hermann gets really red when he’s mad - his ears, his cheeks, his stupid fucking cute nose. Even his neck gets these big red spots on it. It’s funny. It’s really, seriously funny.

i’ll be a rockin’, rollin’ bitch for you, by singagainsoon

“Don’t be foolish, Newton. I can think of a hundred better things for you to do with that mouth-“

Entomologist AU, by singagainsoon

Two weeks ago, he’d been in the midst of furiously tapping out an absolutely incensed email to the man who somehow managed to consistently infuriate him from another department, even, and what Hermann would have given then to strangle him, truly - and then Dr. Geiszler himself had appeared in Hermann’s doorway, toeing the carpet with his scuffed up Doc Martens and asking if they might try to talk things out over dinner.

Hermann hadn’t known it was a date.

they did the mash!, by singagainsoon

obligatory newt-wears-a-sexy-halloween-costume-and-hermann-has-to-rail-him-because-he-can’t-help-himself ficlet!! tis the season!!

(video) call me at any time, by singagainsoon

When Newt finds himself away from Hermann for a business trip of sorts, they figure out fairly quickly that they won’t last until Newton comes home.

Good Vibrations, by singagainsoon

“Newton, are you quite certain about this?”

Newt smiles, gives the odd-shaped dildo in his hand a teasing wave and sets it aside in favor of the vibrator. His face seems to hint at something along the lines of Funny Thing To Say When You’ve Just Had A Dildo In Your Ass, but he doesn’t say it.

-

my lovely, talented friend and fellow writer gaby commissioned me to write this piece and let me tell you i had the time of my life (as did hermann, i’m sure)

A Certain Step Towards Falling In Love, by singagainsoon

“You’re terribly lucky, darling, that my father is away,” he says, voice low, smoothing his palm over Newton’s wind-tousled hair.

Eating In, by singagainsoon

It really was supposed to be just a massage.

you make me feel so young, by zach_stone

In the wake of saving the world, Hermann decided to appreciate the little things.

Or, Hermann and Newt go grocery shopping. And, because it’s Newt, shenanigans ensue.

seven minutes in heaven, by zach_stone

Hermann was enjoying a quiet, peaceful morning when Newton burst into the lab and shoved both of them into a closet.

in other words, i love you, by zach_stone

Newt is having a difficult day. Hermann has an idea to make it better.

hold me in this wild, wild world, by zach_stone

Hermann didn’t often allow himself to cry. Humanity was barreling towards the end of days, and he simply didn’t have time to fall to pieces, not when people needed him — needed his work. But four rangers had died. He decided he could allow himself one small moment of grief.

–

Or, some Hermann-centric hurt/comfort because I just want to give him a hug. Set pre-canon.

it might be over soon, by zach_stone

To celebrate a victory, Newt steals a bottle of booze and he and Hermann drink, argue, and maybe finally act on their feelings.

hey i just met you (and this is crazy), by zach_stone

Newt Geiszler accidentally texts the wrong number when trying to message his roommate Raleigh, and instead winds up texting Hermann Gottlieb, who he’s never met.

(AKA a college texting AU that I promise was absolutely necessary)

worthy of celebration, by zach_stone

It’s a well-known fact around the Shatterdome that Hermann does not like his birthday. This year, Newt’s determined to change that.

lab-appropriate decor, by zach_stone

“For god’s sake, Newton, that is wildly inappropriate,” Hermann snapped. “Those things are not cute, they are abominations. I don’t know why I’m surprised, once again you prove that you have no tact —” “Oh, give it a rest, Hermann,” Newton retorted, rolling his eyes. “It’s not an abomination, it’s two feet tall and made of plastic.”

Or, some backstory to the one of the kaiju figures in Hermann’s lab in Uprising.

The Geiszler & Gottlieb Post-Saving-the-World Lecture Tour, by zach_stone

Following Newt and Hermann as they tour universities, argue across podiums, and fall in love.

feel your heartlines, by zach_stone

Newt and Hermann cuddling on the couch at the end of a lazy summer day.

We Don’t Skip A Beat, by decadent_mousse

Summary by me: Newt, Hermann, and their heartbeat over the years. 

the lure of adventure, by zach_stone

Newt is a reckless treasure hunter. Hermann is an intrepid journalist. On their search for some long-lost treasure, they run into a little more trouble than they bargained for.

AU based loosely on the Uncharted video game series - no knowledge of the games needed to understand the fic!

wouldn’t it be nice, by zach_stone

Newt and Hermann spend a day at the beach.

take your time, make it slow, by zach_stone

Hermann was far from shy in bed, but was quick to brush off Newt’s insistent (and one hundred percent correct, Newt might add) claims that he was the sexiest person to walk the earth. Well, if Hermann wouldn’t believe his words, then maybe he’d believe his actions. And Newt was nothing if not a man of action.

–

Prompt fill for Newmann Porn Fest 2018: “Body Worship” !!

when you are close to me, i shiver, by zach_stone

When the heating goes out in the lab, Newt comes up with a great idea on how to stay warm.

–

Another fic for the Newmann Porn Fest 2018! Prompt was “huddling together for warmth” ;)

it suits you, by zach_stone

“Newton, for goodness’ sake, can we just — no.” Hermann frowned at the selections Newt held up in front of him. A pair of overalls and a red-and-black flannel shirt, both Newt’s. “I am not wearing dungarees.” “Okay, first of all, cute that you call them dungarees,” Newt said, grinning. “Second of all, you would look very cute in these, they’re seasonal, and I am not kidding when I say you’ll ruin your slacks if you wear them to a farm.” He wiggled the overalls in Hermann’s direction, the buckles on the braces jingling as he did so. Hermann let out a long-suffering sigh, mostly for show. He really did need to invest in a pair of jeans.

–

Fic for the Newmann SFW Fest! Prompts were “sharing clothes/personal items” and “pumpkin/apple picking”

ease my slumber, by zach_stone

Newt can’t sleep; luckily, Hermann’s got a really soothing voice.

–

Or, a conversation about how Hermann would have a good voice for ASMR turned into this.

pick up and start again, by zach_stone

“This,” Hermann says imperiously, glaring at Newt from the other side of the elevator, “is your fault.”

Newt whips around to face him so fast he almost loses his balance. “My fault?! How the hell is this my fault?!” He gestures wildly at the elevator door. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I forgot it was my personal responsibility to make sure this piece of shit elevator is maintained so I don’t get trapped in it with the most annoying person in the Shatterdome —”

“You’re always trapped with yourself though, aren’t you?” Hermann sneers, and Newt lets out a hysterical bark of laughter. This cannot be happening. Of all the times for the elevator to break down between floors, it has to happen now, when he and Hermann are in the midst of a fight that’s quickly blown itself out of proportion.

–

Newt and Hermann get stuck in an elevator, and are forced to work out some of their shit.

just your touch could cure my lonesome blood, by zach_stone

Four times all Newt needed was a hug from Hermann, and one time it was the other way around.

(Or, sentimental cuddling: the fic.)

Heart and Soul, by zach_stone

A quiet day in the lab is interrupted when Newt coerces Hermann into playing piano with him.

My contribution to The Last Line of Defense Zine (spring 2019)!

Lullaby & Rain, by j_gabrielle

It still blows his mind, still makes him stop in his frenetic need to move, speak and think whenever he remembers that Hermann…

Whatever Hermann is to him these days.

Carry Me To You, by j_gabrielle

For the prompt on the kink meme that asked for; Hermann/Newton. Lab sex

the world ablaze, that’s the best for me, by postcardmystery

Summary by me: Newt and Hermann are two unstoppable forces of nature.

Please, Sir, May I Have Another, by eigengrau

It isn’t until Newt is bent over the desk, papers and glass specimen jars strewn about like the debris of a hurricane, white-knuckling the hard stainless steel with his pants around his ankles, that he realizes the gravity of the situation.

Hide and Seek, by DoubleStashed

Summary by me: Hermann Gottlieb - life and love for Newt Geiszler.

pull the trigger without thinking, by liginamite

It’s manageable for the first few days. Shared emotions, shared thoughts, words spoken in unison. But it’s only when they share a nightmare born of memories that it finally occurs to them that maybe this isn’t going to go away.

Rechtsbrecher, by Ezlebe

“If you’ve lost your key again, you’re not getting another,” Hermann says, sidestepping past Newton’s hunched form on the steps.

Darling, by BeeLove

In which Newton rides Hermann for all he’s worth. Or at least tries to.

unravelling, by kiyala

It’s been a while since Newton’s taken his meds. Hermann begins to notice.

All of Your Flaws and All of My Flaws, by CinnamonCake

Hermann is still there tomorrow and the day after and Newton tries to not break his face with the door again.

and i fell fine, by ohgod

The other night I dreamt of knives, continental drift divide –

what history has given me, by kiyala

In which Newton is a girl and she really doesn’t have the time for your shit.

Solving For X, by griesly

No matter what opinion Doctor Gottlieb had proclaimed concerning his tattoos on numerous occasions, Newt knew the score. He’d glimpsed a heady rush of somewhat mortified appreciation, just an old memory surfacing in the Drift from the first time Newt rolled up his sleeves in the lab. He could still feel it like a taut string in Hermann’s mind, in the same way he knew his lab partner was too surly to ever admit it. It was all tangled up with his impression of the way Newt approached the world, a precisely calibrated instrument in one hand and a nail-bat in the other. Newt had to smile at the way Hermann saw him, a churlish adolescent and a half-mad genius all wrapped up in a hurricane.

…or, sometimes even the sharpest minds in the PPDC can be excused for a being a bit dense.

Towards, by orphan_account

Based vaguely off the Lemony Snicket quote: “When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them.”

Hermann finds Newt in the lab after the clock stops, and realizes that sometimes all you can do is wait.

Dear Diary,, by ohgod

That is way, way, WAY too close to my whole InuYasha phase. Do-over!

the night will go on, by ohgod

Mako is sheltered, Herc is old, Raleigh doesn’t want to know about any of this, and Tendo is a perpetual asshole.

I Get My Kicks Above the Waistline, Sunshine, by ambitiousbutrubbish

Summary by me: Newton’s exploration of his asexuality.

corpus callosum, by hieronyma

1 + 1 = 1.

when it’s broken, it’s perfect, by liginamite

Love is not divided up into neat little graphs and numbers and theorems, able to be charted if one only took the time and effort to do so. No, love is… it is unpredictable and volatile. Hermann doesn’t really do unpredictable and volatile, but with Newt he doesn’t have much of a say in the matter.

After the Rockets Calm, by callmejude

written for the kink meme prompt: “The morning after Newt and Hermann sleep together for the first time, Hermann comes over all ridiculously British and can’t cope with the intimacy and loss of inhibition. Newt is having none of that nonsense and tells him to quit fussing and come back to bed for snuggles.”

behind us, by kiyala

After the Breach is closed, Newt asks Hermann to go to Boston with him. Hermann doesn’t leave.

They Say It’s Your Birthday, by callmejude

for the kink meme prompt: These two have worked together for many years, and obviously have had to continue working through special occasions, including their birthdays. I know they strongly disliked each other, but deep down they are good friends and I’d love to see anything (slashy or friendshippy) showing how they acknowledge or celebrate birthdays. I’m betting Newt is secretly into baking and Hermann comes in one day on his birthday not expecting anyone to even know, only to find a Kaiju shaped cake on his desk with a sparkler or a candle stuck messily in the centre. Or or or Newt comes in on his 30th birthday and he’s like depressed and absurdly quiet for the day cause he’s not ready to be that old and Hermann realizes why he’s being all docile so he takes off at lunch only to return with pizza and stuff to cheer Newt up and celebrate his birthday. OR YOU KNOW ANYTHING YOU WANT.

within reason, by kiyala

Newt goes to the Skull Temple after the Breach is closed. Hermann goes with him.

pull you through the mirror (before you come undone), by griesly

The War is over. The war is over, and everyone else has something important to do and somewhere else to be except Newt.

shaken, by kiyala

Newton has nightmares. Sometimes, Hermann has them too. 

Imagine Sisyphus Happy, by Jenni_Snake

They’re colonists… we’ve practically terraformed it for them. -Dr. Newton Geiszler

“The thing we saw with the Europeans was that they wanted their new world enough: they didn’t care who stood in their way.” -Dr. Melanie Mountain Horse

“Do not rely not on the likelihood of the enemy’s not coming, but on our own readiness to receive them.” -Sun Tsu

“The gods had condemned Sisyphus to ceaselessly rolling a rock to the top of a mountain, whence the stone would fall back of its own weight. They had thought with some reason that there is no more dreadful punishment than futile and hopeless labor. … I leave Sisyphus at the foot of the mountain. One always finds one’s burden again. … One must imagine Sisyphus happy.” -Albert Camus

How The Light Gets In, by griesly

He’d told Hermann time and time again that he didn’t love the kaiju, he studied them with a curiosity born from a life-long fascination with the giants of the earth. Newt had always been the dinosaur kid – still was, if he was being honest with himself, and the kaiju were the biggest, most awe inspiring terrors he’d ever seen.

the body is not an apology, by BeeLove

In which Hermann triggers some of Newton’s insecurities and strives to make up for it.

When Two Substances Collide, by Emileesaurus and ripkord

Doctors Geiszler and Gottlieb — the first ones in and the last ones out. Thirteen scenes from the countdown to the end of the world.

Scar, by mlle

A tiny thing written for Jaegercon Bingo.

Not every tattoo makes a scar.

I’ve got nothing to say but it’s ok, by madness_and_smiles

Newt’s burned into Hermann’s brain now, like an itch he can’t scratch. Whenever they’re in the same room together – which Newt likes to make sure is almost always – there’s the low hum at the back of his mind telling him Newt is there and Newt is feeling and breathing and sometimes they feel and breathe in unison and it makes Hermann drop his chalk.

in which kaiju guts were not part of the wedding vows, by orphan_account

“You’ve got your glower face on,” Newt remarked above him, and Hermann opened his eyes just to scowl at Newt’s concerned face.

“I am a thread away from murdering my own science team, so, yes, I suppose a glower here and there would not go amiss.”

Seeing in Color, by what_alchemy

The Dr. Geiszler Hermann had found in the publications — printed pages worn with constant handling and tucked into his briefcase for easy access — was an eloquent scientist whose work functioned at a level far above almost anyone else Hermann had ever encountered in the field, and yet he neither patronized his readers nor expressed himself in the inexplicable jargon which so infected much academic work. He was singular in his intelligence. Hermann thought this was a man he could understand — and who could understand him in turn.

More fool he.

Kämpfen, by Huntsmonsters

“The point is that Hermann loves numbers like they were his children, except that Hermann hates children. He loves them and the way they go together the way Newt loves every sample that enters his collection, the way he loves tattoo needles and his books of scribbled anatomical drawings and the harried, barely legible, 4 in the morning notes scrawled around them when the first pieces of a freshly dead Kaiju come in. These are the tools with which they carve themselves, the knives and chisels and guides, the planes on which their shapes are made. Hermann is held up by his cane, but it isn’t the reason he’s standing. They’ve both gone through the rabbit hole and come out again with something clenched in their fists. ”

In which arguments are had over equations and entrails, vivisections are banned, and Newt uses ink to prepare for the possibility of death.

I Was the Match And You Were The Rock, by griesly

Written for the Jaegercon Bingo Square: ‘The Drift’

'Hermann is strong and solid and stable even if no one else at the PPDC would ever think so, Newt knows so, and come to think of it, he always has. He just never knew the man’s mind would be so goddamn beautiful, so bright and full of purpose and satisfaction at a job well done that somehow, impossibly, included him.’

Lucky Number Seven, by griesly

'Newton?’ Hermann called out, only to hear an answering 'Shhh!’ issue from behind a moving curtain. He appeared to have cordoned off an area in the back corner of the lab with heavy screens, labeled 'Light-Sensitive Specimens – DO NOT TOUCH.’ Newton poked his head around the corner with a slightly manic grin.

'Lock the door,’ he advised before motioning Hermann enthusiastically over to a break in a thick curtain. Hermann frowned and paced across the room, wondering what could possibly be so important and so secretive that Newton would have to obfuscate its very existence.

Whatever it was, Hermann was certain he wasn’t going to like it.

autoclave, by cynicalRaconteur

Or: How the fuck is she so attractive, she dresses like my grandfather, I want to punch myself in the face: the Newt Geiszler story.

nyctophobia (into the light of the dark black night), by orphan_account

“See, the thing about birthdays is they’re totally an annual thing,” Newt explained, handing Hermann his latte. “And I’ve known you for, what, twelve years? Thirteen?”

“Fifteen,” Hermann interjected tersely. “And a half.”

Do you have Prince Albert in a can?, by mwestbelle

Newt has a Prince Albert piercing. That’s about it.

This Most Beautiful System, by rosepetalfall

Like Watson and Crick, Newton Geiszler and Hedda Gottlieb are two scientific names almost invariably thought of together.

-

Hedda Gottlieb and Newton Geiszler grow up, save the world, conquer academia, defy the odds, do some ill-advised things, do some brilliant things, and learn about love. Not necessarily in that order.

In the Midst of the Blackest Storm, by TrufflesTheMushroom

Tomorrow. Tomorrow, at the precipice of our hope, at the new beginning of our time, we can choose not only to believe in ourselves, but in each other. Tomorrow, there will not be a single person on our shores who shall stand alone. Not tomorrow. Tomorrow we will face the monsters that are at our door and take the fight to them. Tomorrow, we are facing the apocalypse. As one.

Or: Tendo Choi used to coerce every Jaeger Strike Team in the Hong Kong Shatterdome into boosting its dwindling funds with shady black market deals, and this is how he gets everyone to slowly become a family once more as the world faces the re-opening of the Breach and humanity’s darkest hour.

Or: How To Trust When All Seems Hopeless

i forget the difference between seduction and arson, by gyzym

Ignition and cognition.

animals trapped (the cage is full), by liginamite

Because that’s the problem, isn’t it? The world doesn’t have time for affection, for intimacy, for anything more than quickly coming and cleaning off and heading back to work like nothing ever happened.

The Mathematician’s Answer, by ConstanceComment

“Prosper our handiwork; O prosper the work of our hands.” — Psalm 90

People Might Laugh at Your Tattoos, by callmejude

It’s armor.

Conversations You Don’t Know We’re Having, by adventuring

The spleen was doing something very uncooperative now, turning colors no alien spleen was meant to turn, and oh god, was something bubbling? That could not be good. “No, baby, no, I can fix this, I can do better, just give me one more chance,” he begged it, ignoring Hermann’s baffled, “Pardon?” in his ear. He grabbed frantically at the tongs, fumbling them, realized he probably couldn’t fix this situation one-handed, and said to Hermann, “Gotta go, important work to be done.”

“Newton, I swear to you, do not hang up this phone, follow my instructions—”

“No time, man, science is happening,” he said, and then without thought tacked on, “Bye, love you,” and threw the phone in what was likely the direction of his desk, not bothering to end the call. Hermann probably kept talking, but hello, science.

California King, by notastranger

Hermann is not a sleep cuddler. Bummer.

that every man might have need of other, by lymricks

In the few hours it took to reconcile Newton’s gone with Newton left, Hermann had created an elaborate fantasy: Newton kidnapped, Newton taken, Newton needing to be saved. He had not considered that leaving had been Newton’s idea. He had not thought it would be voluntary.

You Lost, Doctor?, by hailtherandom

“The next morning, Hermine goes to work with a clear head. It sticks for all of about thirteen minutes, until Newt walks into the offices in a pair of jeans and an old, threadbare undershirt instead of her usual button-down, and numbers flicker out of Hermine’s mind like lights in a Jaeger. Newt glances up and shoots her a filthy grin, then drops her coat on her desk and pulls out a pair of gloves. Hermine loses whole equations to the kaiju rippling over the muscles in Newt’s forearms.”

Private in Public, by spirogyra

Dr. Newton Geiszler and Dr. Hermann Gottlieb get introduced to life in a shatterdome, and somehow survive showering together for ten years even when they’re on separate continents.

Nightmares, by beckettemory

“Hermann frowned, remembering the bags under Newton’s eyes and the constant bubbling of the coffee maker in the corner brewing pot after pot of strong coffee all day.” ——————- Hermann, sore after a long day, passes the laboratory and realises that, though well into the night, Newton is still working, and has been acting strangely for a few days.

Lights On, by berlynn_wohl

Hermann’s solitude and shame was an immovable object inside him. He had yet to find out that it would soon encounter an unstoppable force.

Not While I’m Around, by callmejude

written for the kinkmeme prompt: In all the years they’ve worked with each other, Hermann can’t remember ever seeing Newt angry - upset and frustrated, maybe, but never angry. Sure, they argue and raise their voices at each other all the time, but that’s just lively intellectual discourse - they’re never really mad at each other. Hermann has always just kind of assumed that Newton is so easy going that nothing can set him off.

And then someone messes with Hermann, and Newton absolutely explodes with rage.

Come Away To The Water, by funnylookingfella

The Kaiju War is over, there are no Jaegers left, the mourning period has passed… but the hive mind lingers.

A Little Friendly Challenge, by moonblossom

Newt knows how to get Hermann to cooperate.

I wear your granddad’s clothes, I look incredible., by notastranger

Newton comes up with what he thinks is a hilarious Halloween costume. Things do not go as planned.

venus in fleurs, by indications

6.7k of boring-ass white boys touchin dicks

so it goes, by liginamite

The world needs Newton Geiszler, and with that thought in mind, it’s Hermann that drifts with the Kaiju instead.

sugar, spice, and graduate programs, by classyfanperson

Newt works at a coffee shop. Hermann is studying abroad at MIT. Pumpkin lattes are good for the soul.

Good Day for Ghosts, by cryogenia

Hermann wakes into the new world, and carries the remains of the old with him.

Equality, by pickleplum

“‘Immediate family only’ is our policy and no amount of yelling at me will change it, Doctor Geiszler. Unless you are Doctor Gottlieb are long-lost brothers, you need to calm down and wait in the reception area or we’ll have to ask you to leave.”

Newt makes a very loud exasperated noise and throws his hands in the air, but turns and marches into the waiting room. He drops himself onto a couch and pulls at his hair in frustration. I’m going to behave, he tells himself firmly. I’m not going to freak out over this total bullshit and get myself tossed out of here. No way. I can do this.

no man is an island, by narcomanic

Running away from the hive mind is easier said than done, especially when you’ve been so clever all your life that you never had to learn how to ask for help.

Time Will Crawl and Our Mouths Run Dry, by hailtherandom

It was Hermann’s idea, oddly enough. Sometimes Newt never quite believes that, thinks he made it up in a dream or a drunken haze, because Hermann, Dr. Hermann Gottlieb, does not suggest things like that. But he did, and Newt laughed in his face, and then blinked a few times and said, “what, really?” “Yes, really,” Hermann said. “It’s logical, Newton, if you take a moment to think about it.” — Hermann and Newt. Mutual handjobs at twenty-one hundred hours every Wednesday and Friday. Slight complications develop.

After Zero, by what_alchemy

The war is over. Hermann and Newt get on with their [sex] lives.

More Than I Can Return, by callmejude

written for the kinkmeme prompt: “Newt likes to flirt with Hermann, the fact that he never flirts back does not discourage him at all. An outsider might think that Newt is foolishly in love with someone who doesn’t care about him back at all. But one day in the lab out of nowhere, Hermann says, "Alright, what if I just bring you off with my hand? Will that make you more bearable?”

Newt’s thrilled and doesn’t miss a beat. “God, Hermann, a handy would be awesome right now! Thanks, man!”, all while he’s unzipping his fly and grabbing the surgical lube for improper use.

From then on they start hooking up whenever it pleases both of them. Sometimes handjobs, sometimes frottage, occasionally one will penetrate the other. But most importantly, Newt never stops calling Hermann “man” or “dude” during the act, and keeps talking as if Hermann was just doing him a mundane favour, or he was doing a favour for Hermann.

It isn’t until they sit on the sofa in Hermann’s room one night, cuddling up and making out after a taxing workday, with no signs of anyone unclothing or unzipping, that Newt thinks maybe affection has something to do with it.“

Jackpot, by notastranger

People say some strange things when coming out of anesthesia.

Cleaning Days, by jotc

All Hermann Gottlieb wanted was a clean lab space of his own.

Feels Like Reckless Driving, by lakehymn

“Did you just say I’m right about something?” Newton asks, feigning shock. Then he lightheartedly elbows Hermann in the ribs and adds, “I always knew you loved me.”

everyone needs a place (it shouldn’t be inside someone else), by orphan_account

His brain goes a gazillion miles an hour in loopy misdirectional circles, and when he dreams he dreams of kaiju biology, of being back in their lab, of sharp elbows in a small bed.

Chatter, by berlynn_wohl

“What do you think? Is today going to be a good day?”

Unhappy Campers (or Why You Can’t Perform CPR on Someone Who’s Still Breathing), by Jenni_Snake

A summer science camp field trip to the mountains. What could be more fun? Probably anything, especially for a group of nerdy science kids.

Hermann Gottlieb’s Stacker Pentecost Obsession Trapper Keeper, by what_alchemy

Hermann has a giant man crush on Stacker.

Newt finds it delightful. Herc, not so much.

what’s your rush, by Byacolate

Summary by me: An elaboration of Hermann and Newt’s relationship before and after the closing of the Breach.

Baby, You’re Hotter than my Bunsen Burner, by SkysongMA

They argue like they breathe—but that’s not all there is to it. Newt flirts, and it’s disgusting.

It’s not that Hermann minds flirting. The Kaidonovskies have propositioned everyone in the PPDC, or so it seems, and Tendo has intimated more than once that he wouldn’t mind spending some time in the lab, “talking numbers.” The Shatterdome is a small place. One has to practice somewhere.

It’s just that Newt is so bad at it.

Becoming History, by Scientia_Fantasia

Sure, the phrase “crotchety old man who obviously pays no attention to the current scientific community” may have snuck its way into one of the letters, but hey, that’s what you get for calling Up-And-Coming Scientific Rockstar Newton Geiszler “some kid.” Like, the guy had it coming. Really.

It Is not Heaven, It Is Home, by bravinto

Finding the love of your life is awfully anticlimactic.

Fleece, by berlynn_wohl

Newt and Hermann enjoy a day of terminally fluffy domesticity, with maybe a few minutes set aside for shenanigans on the sofa. Also, monsters (duh).

For What It’s Worth, I’d Do It Again, by callmejude

Between finding Newton seizing on the floor and running to get Pentecost, Hermann needs to make sure Newton is okay.

The Stretch and Pull of Disused Hearts, by billiethepoet

Newt notices that the move to the Anchorage Shatterdome is affecting Hermann’s leg. So Newt builds him a hot yoga studio out of spare parts and an abandoned storage closet. Obviously.

Best Cock On The Block, by hobbitdragon

They’ve been so close and yet so far for fourteen years now, but the drift is the pebble that starts the avalanche of change. (By which we mean sex)

This started out as a short ficlet and quickly grew beyond ficlet status into a full-blown fic. I guess I really wanted to write more trans smut.

The Seconds In Between, by orphan_account

Sort of a day in the life of Hermann (and Newt, always with Newt). Mostly, I had a lot of tiny little headcanons and then tried to spin them all together in a fic.

hallo mutti, hallo vati, by classyfanperson

Newt and Hermann visit the Gottlieb family after the Breach is closed. Some are happier to see them than others.

The Cost of Craving Dark Instead of Light, by sonnie

Summary by me: Monica Schwartz and her son, Newton. 

The Two Weirdos Who Work In The Lab, by berlynn_wohl

Two vignettes about the worst kept secret in the Shatterdome.

he’s thunderstorms, by mundaneanarchy

Wherein Newt maybe possibly has a teeny tiny itsy bitsy almost microscopic crush on a certain grumpy old mathematician and Hermann falls and can’t get up. Angsty pining ensues. (explicit for chapter 2)

Never Done with Killing Time, by orphan_account

In between one day and the next, there’s always some time for some loving.

Quantum Degeneracy, by trell

Newt makes a sound from where he’s hidden behind his kaiju, behind his arms, and then he croaks, "I can’t play anymore.”

Hermann’s eyes flick to the electric keyboard sitting near Newt’s desk—a paper-covered, disorganized disaster of a thing—and he says, quietly, “Ah.”

the best laid plans, by liginamite

The plan, you see, was to totally sex Hermann up immediately after the world was saved. But you know that old saying about well-laid plans.

Generated Affects, by trell

Twelve is you washing your hands ten times up to the elbow in the space of the half an hour you spend prepping kaiju entrails for long-term cryo. It’s him that stops you, him that struggles over to the sink on his cane and grabs you by the wrists, hands fitting perfectly over the open maws of Hundun and Yamarashi, and he says “Stop,” and “Newton, think, this isn’t like you, it is like—” and the me hangs unspoken but you get it, let him guide you over to a bench in the lab and force you to sit still long enough to tone down the compulsion.

five times newt proposed to hermann and the one time he said yes, by mundaneanarchy

title is self explanatory.

alternate title: the fear of falling apart

warning: cheesy and kinda dumb

macho dudes in lace undies, by mundaneanarchy

Summary by me: Newt, Hermann and a lingerie kink.

one last kiss while we’re far too young to die, by mundaneanarchy

Newt and Hermann meet, fall in love, hate each other, lose each other, find each other, kiss drunkenly, save/destroy the world, and get married. All in that order.

it is one way to live, by fuckener

Newt would stay stuck in the wartime if nobody tried pulling him out of it.

Black Velvet Rabbits rockstar AU, by spirogyra

Summary by me: In which Hermann is the number one fan of Newt’s rock band, The Black Velvet Rabbits.

Sea Swept, by cypress_tree

A high seas fantasy AU in which Hermann is a ship’s navigator and Newton is found washed up among flotsam.

there are no atheists in foxholes, by liginamite

Newt and Hermann have been feeling off since they helped to cancel the apocalypse. They’re losing time, long black-outs, periods of aggression. The feeling that there’s something else, something they can’t pin down.

The thing is, the Kaiju drift left something behind in the both of them, and it’s determined to get out.

Can’t Wait for You to Shut Me Up, by callmejude

written for the kink meme prompt: “Hermann tells Newt to shut up, Newt tells Hermann to make him. They make out. That’s the prompt.”

(That may have been the prompt but I admit to it going much further than that.)

Dead Letter Chorus, by QuokkaFoxtrot

It’s if you’ve never heard anything true. But we will try 'til the next time or the last time. Dead Letter Chorus - You Am I

Newt owns a coffee shop. Hermann is a tenured professor at the local university. Their relationship has its ups and downs.

Also: Chuck is a champion barista, Mako is a world travelling Direct Trade negotiator, Stacker and Herc play a lot of chess, and Tendo owns Shatterdome Records.

Much coffee is consumed. (Except by Hermann who is a priss about how his tea should be prepared.)

bones, sinking like stones, by mundaneanarchy

You don’t love him. You don’t love him even though you do, you know you do, you know you do so much it hurts, but you don’t.

have yourself a merry little christmas, by classyfanperson

Hermann isn’t going home for Hanukkah, so Newt insists they both visit his family back home. They continue to not talk about their feelings.

Or: A Very Geiszler Christmas.

Newton Geiszler’s 11 Ways to Save the World, by kaijukonjou

Keep to yourself, keep your chin up, and maybe you’ll make it out in one piece.

Five Times Newt And Hermann Kiss While They Are Drunk, by luceluceluceluce

A brief timeline of the apocalypse from the perspective of a pair of nerds: a story of science, alcohol, and love.

Become What We’ve Always Been, by irisbleufic

Hermann doesn’t have enough time to experience a crisis over Newton’s response to his unvoiced request; he’s drifting into that self-same lethargy, eyelids heavy, his arm across the cane gone slack.

it wouldn’t be make believe, by infinituity

“By the way, dude,” he says, and he reaches down both to grab his notepad as well as to avoid looking at Hermann, “my parents think we’re dating.”

Instead of the expected angry yelling, he gets only silence in response, so he looks up to see Hermann opening his mouth to speak, reconsidering, closing it, and repeating. After several more repeats than strictly necessary, he sighs and slumps down in his seat.

“Of course they do,” he says.

sweet as anything, by classyfanperson

Newt is embarrassed about certain aspects of her body. Hermine is considerably more enthusiastic.

The Statistics of Touch, by WheresPeebs

Alternate Title: If You Would Just Stop Interrupting Each Other, Everything Would Be Worked Out in the First Friggin’ Paragraph.

Hermann is uncomfortable with public displays of… well, anything. It causes problems.

First, by cypress_tree

Newt and Hermann’s first time is Newt’s first first time.

Roses are red, and if that’s kaiju blue so help me Newton, by unnecessary

Summary by me: Newton and Hermann have some communication problems. 

point me in the direction of the last setting sun, by orphan_account

They were two women standing against the end of the world.

Urine Trouble, by kinkitsecretkinkitsafe

Hermann has a thing for watersports. Newt finds out.

breathing free and even, by classyfanperson

He’s working on it. They’re working on it.

High-Five for Hatesex, by kinkitsecretkinkitsafe

Summary by me: Newton has a thing for Hermann and justifies it as hate!sex. He might be wrong.

Counterpoint, by kinkitsecretkinkitsafe

Summary by me: Sequel to High-Five for Hatesex.

a thousand spiders down the drain, by Byacolate

Children can be so cruel to boys who pick flowers.

Secret Agent Scientist, by Malteaser

Written for the prompt: Hermann, secret badass; He has something cool like a fencing saber installed in his cane and when someone fucks with them he kicks their ass and keeps talking like nothing happened.

A Little Kindness Goes a Long Way, by patster223

Newt liked to purposefully annoy Hermann in order to get rough sex. Which worked out great, until Hermann found out about it and decided to punish Newt by giving him excruciatingly nice sex.

cross my heart and take me with you, by drashian

The first time Hermann meets Newton Geiszler, they are pleasant with each other for about 10 minutes until suddenly they’re duking it out about Hermann’s theories of transdimensional transport.

The second time Hermann meets Newton Geiszler, they just start yelling.

The third time Hermann meets Newton Geiszler, it is in the toxic blue haze of the Drift.

Anthology ‘Verse (& Related Errata), by irisbleufic

Summary by me: a study of the relationship between Hermann and Newt, from the beginning to the future.

Parallax / Perihelion, by irisbleufic 

Parallax—the apparent displacement of an observed object due to a change in the position of the observer; from the Greek, παράλλαξις (“alteration”). / Perihelion—the point in the orbit of an asteroid, comet, planet, or other celestial body where it is nearest to the sun (again from the Greek, περιήλιο).

One-Week Rule, by irisbleufic

Somebody’s got a stick up his theoretical vortex. Starting this off with a bang?

We’re Revolutionaries Now, by AxolotlQueen

One really shouldn’t attempt to cut one’s own hair.

(Or, Hermione Gottlieb gives herself a bad haircut and Newton Geiszler helps out.)

Newton Geiszler and His Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Interns, by cambion and casdere

“I know, it’s all a bit silly,” he admits.

“You always get a bit silly about your crushes, yeah?” She teases easily, and Hermann nearly spits out his mouthful of soup. Jasmine gives him another concerned look, but he waves her away.

“Vanessa, can you please not,” he hisses under his breath, and she laughs with the phone pulled away from her face, sounding like distant bells, and he feels taken back to high school, and remembers the fumbling idiocy of his crush on her, and knows immediately she is right, and he ought to give up the fight. He has a crush, an honest to God crush, and at his age! He knows, surely, it started with his fascination of the man’s intellect, but he also knows how quickly and easily he was drawn into his off-kilter charisma, as well.

or: hermann and newt are college professors, newt is working on his sixth doctorate, hermann is nursing a nasty crush, and i fit way too much into one chapter

scene after scene, by drashian

Everything had been banking on the world ending.

It doesn’t end, though, and that leaves everyone with this big hole where the future they didn’t plan for suddenly stretches ahead of them.

Newt struggles and reaches to fill that hole, and comes up with two things: Hermann Gottlieb and a cross-country road trip.

Chalk It Up To Love, by patster223

Newt replaced all of Hermann’s white pieces of chalk with pink ones. Or: the one in which chalk is a form of courtship, Hermann is head-over-heels, and somehow the entire Shatterdome gets involved.

The Apple In Our Hands, by irisbleufic

Summary: 1950!AU in which Newt is a cryptozoologist trying to find the Loch Ness monster, Hermann is more or less the same, and they have to share a cabin in Scotland.

Ice to Meet You, by patster223

Hermann is eating a rather phallic-looking popsicle and Newt is pretty sure he might actually die from sexual frustration.

In Sweden, and Elsewhere, by rillrill

Newt had just thrown down his end of the half-assembled bookshelf and shouted, “Whatever! It still makes no sense that two acclaimed and accomplished scientists with the combined brainpower of four average adults can’t put together a goddamn shelf!” Because, seriously, he can build an improvised neural bridge out of old lab machinery and an ancient Mr. Coffee, but he’s undone by three missing pegs? Fuck this.

Newt and Hermann rebuild, relocate, accept the Nobel Prize for Physics, fight over furniture, and strive to carve out a space for themselves in a world where they’re inextricably linked - in the the press, in their personal lives, and in their own heads.

Magic and Progress, by patster223

The Hogwarts AU in which Newt is a wizard, Hermann is a Muggle, and somehow they manage to save the world and love each other anyway.

Self-Destruct, by pinkmoon

“He learns how to never be wrong. He learns how to be indispensable. He realizes it makes him unstoppable.

Newton Geiszler is one tick away from self-destructing for the rest of his life.”

A character study of Newt’s lifetime of risky behavior and predilection for taking risks of the “rock star” sort. (Spanning many years, continents, arguments, and accidents, but landing, unexpectedly, in a happy ending.)

Today Your Barista Is: Hella Fucking Gay, by unnecessary

Hermann is a professor. The barista at the coffee shop across the street is cute and very, very single.

It is inevitable, really.

Predictable, by cypress_tree

It’s a movie date, but they’re not really watching the movie.

Adventures In Knitting, by decadent_mousse

Newt decides to knit Hermann a sweater, with… mixed results.

You’ve Taken A Pizza My Heart, by decadent_mousse

Hermann and Newt are so busy with work, they don’t get much time to go out to dinner, so Newt decides to improvise.

Fear of a Name, by uhnonniemiss

Newt and Hermann never could decide on how to define what they are to each other. It takes several years, thousands of kisses, a vat of acid, a big fight, and a sunny Boston evening to help them choose.

every day I fight a war against the mirror, by thekaidonovskys

“It came at a price,” he says. “To understand them, I had to learn how to fear them.”

Cut to the Chase, by patster223

Hermann needs a haircut. He does not need the cute hairdresser to flirt with him, he does not need a scalp massage, and he does not need anything trendy or stylish done to his hair.

Thankfully, these are things that happen anyway. Barbershop AU, featuring hairdresser!Newt and smitten!Hermann.

The Sublime, by Lucretius

The waves are coming closer to them now, and yes, the tide is coming to them with crescendo crashes.

The white fringe of sea is mere fathoms away.

“Can we?” Hermann asks.

And it is the question that one asks because, the choice having been made in what feels like another lifetime, now, for the first time, there is someone here, here, right here—who can see a way of being and seeing long dormant under so many layers of performing and seeming.

Recover, by irisbleufic

You’re my new favorite blanket. Come inside?

Untoward, by LemonScience33

Newton licks his bottom lip. “Maybe, um…” he says.

Newton doesn’t continue. Hermann wills his breathing to remain steady. “Yes?”

Newton shrugs casually. “Maybe we could give each other a hand,” he says. “Just two friends… you know, helping each other out.”

Knocking Socks, by decadent_mousse

Hermann and Newt go sock-shopping.

Listening, by cypress_tree

Newt has a dirty talk kink, and Hermann has a really nice voice.

Act Together, by irisbleufic

“You know I’m only a liar when it matters, right?”

You + Me = Happiness ², by steviekat

The thing is, Newt had never really put much thought into the future. The future of K-Science? Sure! Her own? To be fair, this probably better than anything she could have imagined.

Got Your Back, by Doooooooom

The workload is taking its toll on Hermann’s shoulders. Luckily, Newt is a dab hand at shoulder massages.

That’s one way to shut you up, by offensiveagentpie

Based on this fanart by pixiepunch.

Hermann tries a new tactic to get Newt to be quiet for once.

wash us away, by thekaidonovskys

Thank god Hermann undresses after he’s entered the bathroom, or else walking in to find Newt sitting on the bench top would have been much much worse.

visions are seldom what they seem, by mundaneanarchy

Hermann likes Tchaikovsky. Newt likes Hermann.

The Sun On Your Face (I’m Freezing That Frame), by irisbleufic

“Hate to break it to you,” Newton whispers, kissing Hermann’s neck with a happy sigh before letting his head drop to rest against Hermann’s shoulder, “but we’re busted in five, four, three—”

“Your ass is mine, Geiszler!” shouts Officer Hak, barging into the lab. “You too, Doctor Gottlieb. If you think you can get off so easy—”

The Good Old Days, by decadent_mousse

Hermann and Newt go scavenging for supplies during a blackout and get more than they bargained for.

A Proper Family Christmas, by uhnonniemiss

When Hermann ends up in the medical wing, he looks all set to spend Christmas by himself. Not if Newt gets a say in it, though.

Or, in which adopted and blood family save the Holidays

The Friendmas Ficlet Collection, by cypress_tree

A collection of five unrelated ficlets written as Christmas gifts for friends:

geniusbee: Hermann hurt/comfort patster223: Hermann wearing nail polish thehorrorinsymmetry: Hermann in lingerie bravinto: belly rubs decadentmousse: Harvest Moon AU

Aftershocks, by tastewithouttalent

“Hermann has to stumble away because the Drift is still too fresh and he can’t tell the heat of Newton’s body apart from his own anymore.” The impact of the Drift hits Hermann, and he and Newt don’t make it back to the laboratory.

Au Naturel, by decadent_mousse

Newt gives Hermann a wake up call during a very boring meeting.

Fortune’s Favor, by tamerofdarkstars

In which there is kissing, the end of the world, the subsequent salvation of the world, and more kissing.

Fills Trope_Bingo: Round 4 - Celebratory Kiss

Bump in the Night, by unicornsandbutane

Newt’s made a mistake, and it’s really a subjective matter whether it was a poor decision altogether or just a mere miscalculation. Regardless, he is forced to phone Hermann in the middle of the night, to deal with the consequences.

But the Gesture is Ruined, by cypress_tree

Five times Hermann tried to be romantic, one time he succeeded without even meaning to. A K-Sci romcom, basically.

Strange Bedfellows, by decadent_mousse

When Hermann and Newt first arrive at the Hong Kong Shatterdome, a paperwork mix-up forces them to share a room for awhile.

followed your ashes into outer space, by parpar

The numbers of the War Clock ticked down to zero, and the resulting euphoria was thick as smoke in the air. The assortment of PPDC members and civilian contractors were in an uproar, and Hermann and Newton made their way down the LOCCENT steps to stand in the midst of it.

When Tendo had finally managed to get Mako and Raleigh to stop hugging and cooperate with the rescue team, Newton had leaned his forehead into the curve of Hermann’s shoulder.

“We actually pulled it off,” he had whispered. “We did it, holy shit, it’s over.” Hermann had gracefully ignored the tears soaking into his collar and patted his colleague on the back while he pulled himself together.

Occupational Hazard, by decadent_mousse

Hermann overworks himself and gets a migraine.

In Space No One Can Hear You Mop, by decadent_mousse

Hermann and Newt are janitors sent to a derelict ship to clean things up after a group of aliens massacred the entire crew… but are they the only ones on board?

Liminality, by what_alchemy

What we know, after.

Fortuna Favet, by Mipeltaja

Newton seemed to think one could invoke good fortune simply by being bold enough or loud enough, a notion Hermann found utterly ridiculous.

It wasn’t that Hermann didn’t believe chance could on occasion work in his favour, it was just that life had taught him not to rely on it.

Brainspace and Kinkspace, by Emmalyn

Summary by me: Newt and Hermann exploring some of the delights of kinky sex.

Desperate Times, by decadent_mousse

Newt finds Hermann in a terrible state.

Matchsnaking, by patster223

There is a snake in Hermann’s apartment. This is not how he wanted to start his day.

Apartment neighbors AU where Newt’s snake keeps sneaking into Hermann’s apartment.

Put a Pin in That, by unicornsandbutane

Newt tries to convince Hermann to participate in a charity event. What ensues might be classed as ‘hijinks’, ‘shenanigans’, or ‘hilarity’, depending upon your perspective.

Remains, by berlynn_wohl

Newt and Hermann wrap Christmas presents and talk about death.

You Love Me Not, by mundaneanarchy

A story of love and coping with love told from the second-person perspective of Newt.

Newt loves Hermann and Hermann loves Newt but sometimes it’s not that easy.

Statiscally Significant Other, by unicornsandbutane

Flattery will get you everywhere.

Or, the fic computerbaby on tumblr requested, in which Newt compliments Hermann and Hermann is really really into it.

Pasta Aisle, by cypress_tree

Hermann and Newt meet for the first time in a grocery store. Hermann helps Newt grab something off a high shelf. Newt takes offense.

Disconnect, Connect Again, by cypress_tree

Raising Newt Geiszler has never been easy. Seeing him fall in love can be harder.

The development of Newt and Hermann’s relationship, from Jacob Geiszler’s point-of-view.

Spaces Between, by adropofred

Newt had not realised, somehow, that the world not ending would mean it would stubbornly keep on turning without waiting for him to catch up.

So what? He’s a scientist. He’ll do some catching up of his own and lose himself in the labyrinth of his and Hermann’s brains and their bodies.

This is absolutely not to be considered hiding, not that they can hide much anymore.

The Six Million Pillows Man, by adropofred

As it turns out, Hermann’s room is nothing special. His bed, on the other end, is very, very special.

Of course, Newt wouldn’t be himself if he didn’t find a way to turn this revelation into a situation where he could put his foot in his mouth.

Time For You and Time For Me, by patster223

A collection of Newmann prompts that I’ve filled on my tumblr. Contains: AUs, pining, flirting, bickering, several chapters of Hermann’s filthy exhibitionist kink, and two nerds learning to love each other in as many ways as possible.

The Beholder, by ItsClydeBitches

Written for the Newmann-uendo Hurt/Comfort challenge.

Hermann is feeling pretty insecure about his body. He’s unattractive. That’s a fact. Luckily Newton Geiszler’s number one law is still in place:

Hermann Gottlieb is ALWAYS wrong.

we’ll leave our tracks untraceable, by confused_android

When she steps off the plane in Logan International, something tight in her shoulders cracks, loosens, and she shakes free the last barb the PPDC had through her spine, through her brain, keeping her tense and wary for most of a decade. She yanks her heavy suitcase off of the carousel, identifiable by the years of layered duct tape repairing a seam that could once have been stitched, and flags the first taxi that will stop for her.

Permanent Ink, by mundaneanarchy

Inspired by this piece of fanart (http://rockstar-ologist.tumblr.com/post/126950663313) by rockstar-ologist

Newt gets Hermann’s initials tattooed on his hand. A month into their relationship. Hermann isn’t too happy about it.

Castaways’ Window, by Chancy_Lurking

“There are no words for the thoughts he has in that moment, because they are not his thoughts.”

Rings, by perniciousLizard

Three scenes, post movie. They’re happy.

Right Hand: Heart, by QuokkaFoxtrot

Two beers. That was all it took these days.

Dance In The Graveyards, by LemonScience33

As they round the next corner and lights come on, Newt’s first thought is, This had better be worth it, because we’re definitely gonna get caught.

His second thought is, That is the skull of Otachi’s baby, with lights strung over it.

His third thought is, This is definitely worth it.

Sweater Wars, by paenteom

Hermann takes his fashion illiteracy to new, festive levels. Newt is forced to retaliate.

Die Musik Kommt, by romangold

Maybe everyone’s drowning in the day, the night, memories and regrets and guilts, in relief, in pure, unadulterated happiness. Maybe they’re all dying.

Hermann finds Newt after the apocalypse is cancelled, and the two realize that perhaps they aren’t so toxic together after all.

Nigel, by uhnonniemiss

A particularly harsh snowstorm has brought the boiler- and Hermann- to a standstill.

(My piece for the 2015 Pacrim Holiday Swap!)

Etude, Op. 25 No. 12, by romangold

The climax always resolves to major, no matter how many times you play the piece. And the heroes always win, despite the amount of times you rewind to the beginning or fast-forward to the end.

sharing half our genes, and nothing in between, by getmean

“Christ, Hermann, is this a letterman jacket?” Newt cried, spinning and holding it up with a level of glee he hadn’t reached since he got that salivary gland from Mutavore. “How cliché can you get?”

Plausible Possibility, by cissues

Newt and Hermann experience some odd post-drift effects.

mountains sunk below the sea, by getmean

Newton has been, and always will be, what his father calls a ‘tough nut to crack’, but has an element of horrifying vulnerability that makes Hermann’s skin crawl. He selfishly likes Newton best when all his walls are intact.

netflix and chill, by w0rm

Hermann does the Netflix, Newt does the chill.

How to Deal with Accidental Neural Oversharing and Other Scientific Conundrums, by yourguardianangel

The world has not ended. Operation Pitfall is successful. Celebrations are had. But how are two snarky scientists meant to cope with having way too much of each others internal monologues retroactively overlaid with their own memories?

(with smut, that’s how.)

It’s All Good, by spirogyra

Thoughtless words, hurt feelings, cryptic statements, the drift makes things easier and more difficult, but in the end… it’s all good.

追伸, by lamphouse

“If I recall correctly, this is the man who confessed to wanting a pet Godzilla for his twentieth birthday, is it not? Glass houses, Dr. Geiszler.”

It takes two months for Newton Geiszler to fall in love. It takes thirty months, around two hundred letters, several time zones, and two missed-ish connections for him to actually admit it.

it’s alright, don’t you let it inside, by areunasty

They’re taking Gipsy Danger out for a trial run, and Newt watches with mild interest as the mech slices cleanly through the ocean. He thinks that if he was that big anything would be easy. Loving someone difficult, being loved, the quiet and painful twist of Hermann’s mouth whenever he looks at Newt recently.

The Price of Ghost Drifting, by confettiinmyhair

Newt is home early. Hermann has a surprise.

concentric circles, by lamphouse

It’s times like these that Hermann finds himself checking and double-checking his list of reasons why he works at the library. It’s also times like these that prove why nowhere on said list does it mention the people he works with.

The Boyfriend Experience, by berylnn_wohl

In the Shatterdome, Hermann confesses his disappointment that his and Newt’s relationship lacks romance. After the war is over, Newt vows to spend one year righting this wrong as they travel the world together on a lecture tour.

Everything We Never Said, by JennaCupcakes

Newt has a few regrets about his drift with Hermann. Namely, that he’s had a crush on the guy for a while and really doesn’t want him to find out.

Echoes in the Well of Silence, by unicornsandbutane

Hermann can hear Newton through the ducts.

Wishbone, by cypress_tree

Hermann doesn’t have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving, so Newt invites him over for food, family, and a little bit of flirting. Just a warm, fuzzy college AU to get you through the holidays.

Do Scientists Dream of Cloned Sheep?, by paenteom

Newt fumbles with the key card before he finally manages to swipe it, throws the door open and freezes.

There’s only one bed.

It’s massive, and covered in the fluffiest blanket he has ever seen, but it’s undeniably singular.

“Uh,” he says. “Awkward.”

Laughter, Confession, by cypress_tree

He’s nervous and awkward and he’s afraid he’ll mess up, but god, he wants this so bad.

Proving a Point, by steampunkepsilon

Newt thinks Hermann is a shy, reserved, vanilla kind of guy. Newt is wrong, and Hermann has sources.

Slumber Sequence, by strigine

Summary by me: Newton and Hermann’s sleeping habits.

Clean Clock, by cissues

'“So, you’re that guy, huh?” The man says, finally. He has his back to the newly emptied and even more newly dirtied sink and Hermann’s gaze is fixated on the encrusted plates and wine-stained glassware.’

Or, where Hermann is a hermit and also a clean freak with messy roommates.

Linguistics, by cypress_tree

Literally just a thousand words of Newt masturbating while listening to Hermann give an interview on a podcast.

i ain’t holy, i ain’t close, by queenofthestarrrs

The end of the world feels like home.

tell me you’ll love me for a million years, by buckgaybarnes

Hermann is working late, so Newt decides to be a great husband and tackle their chores. He mostly succeeds.

lost connection, by orphan_account

When the Shatterdome stays open for continuing research, the K-Science team realizes they’ll actually have to deal with the after-effects of their Drift.

Trial and Error, by cypress_tree

A romantic comedy of errors in which Newt and Hermann try to spice things up….and fail spectacularly.

Mixed Signals, by SkysongMA

After the Drift, Hermann starts having sex dreams.

Newt’s sex dreams.

That are all about Hermann.

Oh Mein Me, by junkiechurch

You wonder how a heart like his could ever love a man like you.

clothes (or a lack thereof), by orphan_account

Once the war is over, Hermann and Newt move in together. Newt realizes how little clothing they actually own.

[misdre]

tagged by @bobgoesw00t ! thank you bob!!!

1. What do you prefer to be called name wise? misi is what all friends call me

2. When is you birthday? august 3

3. Where do you live? (You don’t have to give city, you can give the state if your USA or country if you are overseas) finland. i don't mind saying it's turku because i like turku. i’m on täl pual jokke

4. Three things you are doing right now? making coffee.. typing answers to this meme.. about to watch a document about wine while drinking coffee

5. Four Fandoms that have your peak interest right now? four is a bit much to ask from me. well beyblade is a staple, and right now i'm reading the 7th chapter of higurashi no naku koro ni. ummm eurovision and... can i call it a fandom that i've been listening to audio books of the best mystery novels from last year a lot, basically one book per week. mystery novel fandom??

6. How has this pandemic been treating you? not very well. i'm pretty sure i would have got a job without this. i've been sitting inside alone all my life so that part hasn't really changed but like i just really fucking want a job and i think the pandemic really crushed all my chances to get one because every business is in trouble now so nobody's hiring.

7. A song you can’t stop listening to right now? i’ll be honest.... i don’t really listen to music these days..... and when i do it’s playlists instead of anything on repeat

8. Recommend a movie. it's almost the season to watch midsommar, just saying

9. How old are you? turning 30 soon. let's not talk about it

10. School, University, Occupation, Other? a bum with a university degree

11. Do you prefer heat or cold? cold

12. Name one fact about you that others may find unusual. i've never been to a doctor (other than the dentist), and i'm hardly ever sick either. i get the common cold maybe once in four years

13. Are you shy? yea

14. Do you have preferred pronouns? nah. finnish has only one pronoun anyway

15. Biggest pet peeve? people who don't take others in consideration in public spaces

16. What is your fave ‘dere’ type? probably deredere tbh i’ve kinda grown out of these character types

17. Rate your life 1-10, 1 being really crappy and 10 being best it could ever be. 5. it sucks but at least i'm not homeless or anything?

18. What is your main blog? this one

19. List your side blogs and what they are used for. the only one i use these days is @luukeitto which is my aesthetic and inspiration blog. then i have the beyblade zine blog that's obviously now inactive. the rest i haven't used in years

20. Is there anything you think people need to know about you before becoming friends with you? online-wise, i kinda burned myself out years ago so i don't really make friends through social media anymore. i'd say the newer online friends i've made have happened because we're in the beyblade discord. offline-wise...... that i'm quiet because of anxiety and not because i don't like people lol.

[challengerbmxmag]

Sam Waller Interview

Sam Waller co-runs, the UK based Central Library, “a shop in the North West of England that sells zines, DVDs and other interesting bits and pieces.” He’s also part of the current resurgence of quality independent BMX media with his Red Steps magazine. In addition to that he finds the time to contribute to Challenger with his quarterly column, ‘Notes From A Fancy Island’ and of course, ride. And, when you talk to Sam, you can tell that riding reigns supreme.

Sam and I email back and forth fairly often because of the column but also about other random stuff like old spots, concrete skateparks, music, etc. It’s fun to email with Sam so I figured it would also be fun to ask Sam some more in-depth questions. Hit the link below for the full interview.

All photos by Gaz Hunt. Thanks, Gaz!

I know you live in Manchester, England now but where did you grow up and what is your BMX origin story? I grew up in the complete middle of nowhere in a place called Colton in the south of the Lake District. Whilst the countryside in film and television is often shown as a tranquil, quaint place, the reality is a fair bit different, and Colton in particular seemed like a hotbed for strange stuff going on. Only recently a large farmhouse was burned down by a wild woman who owned loads of pigs. She was exiled from the county, but the pigs remained to cause havoc.

Anyway, my older brother has played guitar since he was six or seven, but as I was a useless at it and couldn’t get my hands to move properly, I felt obliged to find a similar all-encompassing past-time.

I was mad on Formula 1 racing for a while (thoughts go out to the Schumacher family), and I went to a karate lesson once (a hobby quickly scrapped after the whole hour was spent being taught how to bow honourably), but up until the age of 12 or 13 it just felt like I was dawdling about.

All of this changed when, for some reason I’m not entirely sure of, me and my friends decided to make some jumps and drops and stuff to ride on our mountain bikes in some woods near a dual carriageway.

One of my friends knew some older lads from nearby who had proper bikes and Little Devil hoodies, so I think they must have planted the seed of raditude with him, but I think at that time I was just happy to be out the house and not playing Tekken 2. We later found out that the woodland we’d chosen was a popular dogging site frequented by truck drivers (I'm not sure if 'dogging' exists in America - maybe look it up), and quickly moved our spades and everything into another forest. By that point the damage was done and my mind was snagged.

After a bit of bouncing about on a mountain bike, I then splashed out on a second hand Standard that someone had painted post-box red, affixed some stunt nubs and never looked back (or lookbacked, for that matter).

The nearby town of Ulverston had a pretty big riding and skating scene, but thinking now about us lot trying to lay down ‘street style’ in this small historic market town, we may as well have been the Jamaican bobsleigh team — the rough ledges were strictly for stalls, and the closest thing to a flatbank was a grass verge round the back of a Texaco garage.

What were some of your biggest inspirations as a kid and what about now? I always think about how the 16 year old me would probably make fun of some of the things I'm into now. Is that the case with you at all? Apart from the receding hairline and the slight increase in responsibilities, I think I’ve stayed pretty much exactly the same since I was 16. Back then I think my favourite film was probably Natural Born Killers, and my favourite album was maybe something like Bad Moon Rising by Sonic Youth. Whilst I’ve maybe expanded my interests a little, I’ve pretty much been in a rut since then.

I’m not into memes or internet humour in the slightest, but I remember someone once showing me a video of a wrestling fan in America crying and shouting, “It’s still real to me, dammit.” That’s how I feel about a lot of things I was into back then. A lot of people who I went to school with moved on from being into music and films and pissing around on bikes, whilst I’m still snagged on it all, listening to The Minutemen and wearing check shirts. It’s pretty stupid really.

What's The Fancy Island? Good question. Just next to Strangeways prison and only a mere stone’s throw from Manchester’s slick centre, lies a true rat-pit of questionable activity. I’ve seen loads of stuff happen here, such as an aggressive man chase a prostitute with a two-by-four and a creep lying in an alley trying to lure small boys into his lair.

In amongst all this, there’s loads of naff wholesale shops that sell everything from low-end Halloween costumes to fake Air Jordans made out of cardboard and fuzzy felt. All these shops have mad names like EEZZEE and Vibe Centre.

Getting to the point now, coming up with titles for things is pretty difficult, so a few years ago when I was cobbling together a zine, I nicked the name Urban Mist from one of these shops, and then, when I went to set up a Tumblr during the carefree pre-Instragram era, I nabbed ‘Fancy Island’ from a similar establishment.

I think Fancy Island has closed down now, but it’s no doubt been replaced with yet another shop with a daft name selling cheap batteries and t-shirts with swear words on the front.

Whilst I’m explaining names, I’ll state that Red Steps is a classic spot in Manchester that I ride past on my way to work every day. It boasts a rusty, needle-thin flatrail, a few small stair-sets (that are indeed red) and a large flow of gormless students to crash into. I’m not too sure why I named a magazine after it, but it just struck me as a funny name for a spot and I was struggling to think of anything else.

One thing I struggle with is balancing how to take BMX seriously while balancing a sense of humor about it as well; i.e. it's pretty goofy but is also this amazing vehicle for new experiences, ideas, and a pretty incredible community. Do you ever think about this? Like with most things in life (except crucial necessities like eating and breathing), riding bikes is pretty stupid and abstract if you try and think about it too hard. That said, I don’t see why bike riding should look goofy (apart from actual goofy-footed grinding - as a self-confessed goofy grinder myself I’ve got a lot of time for George D, Ralph and Dave McDermott) — riding is loads better than pretty much all other activities, but it’s constantly being made to look daft, when it could so easily look dope.

I think to stay juiced and not turn sour, you’ve got to completely ignore most things going on with riding and stick firmly to the bits that you like. I treat riding like music or films or anything else. In the same way I don’t go to the cinema to watch big summer blockbusters, I don’t spend my free time watching Corey Martinez edits or endless hours of footage from some zany mega-comp.

I’m a simple man. As far as riding is concerned, I like smith grinds, bottles of Heineken, Galaxy chocolate, black and white photos, sitting on benches and talking complete nonsense. The rest of it is irrelevant to me.

I constantly hear/read people complain about the lack of BMX magazines but there's so much cool stuff being printed right now. We've discussed this in email a bit but it seems weird that people are complaining. It's almost like people just have an idea of what they think a magazine should be and if it doesn't have look or read a certain way they are just confused. How do you feel about all of this? A solid group of people do buy things and support these independent projects and whatnot, but I think it’ll take a while for the loud-mouthed Instagram warlords to come to terms with the fact that the new magazines around might have different names to the ones they used to subscribe to 15 years ago. I suppose it’s maybe easier to talk about the lack of magazines out there than actually go to the effort of seeking them out, but having said that, it’s not exactly hard to find stuff these days.

I remember years ago hunting down anything beyond Dig or Ride was an absolute hassle involving a lot of e-mail mither and blind faith - but now with yourself, Berks St. and 90East stocking interesting stuff in America, me and Clarky doing Central Library over here and the newly formulated Wiretap down under, it’s easier than ever for anyone to get their hands on zines and DVDs and all that.

The new stuff that’s coming out now is ten times better than Dig or Ride ever were anyway. Endless contest reports and dull bike checks have fallen by the wayside, and I haven’t seen a photo of Jimmy Levan’s zebra-print leggings in years. Things are really looking up.

What do you do for work? Thoughts on pursuing money via BMX and also what's the best job you've ever had? By day I work in an office writing stuff for a clothes shop. As you can imagine, trying to come up with an interesting way to talk about the 659th blue shirt you’ve seen this week can get a bit tough, but I can’t complain too much really. The office is fairly warm and there’s a kettle in the kitchen.

As for pursuing ‘serious wonga’ via riding, I’m one step ahead of you. Central Library has just received big investment from Duncan Bannatyne and Deborah Meaden (of Dragon’s Den fame), meaning we’re finally able to stock all those bizarre Caramac-coloured tyres that real bike shops seem to stock. We’re also expanding our print line to offer crime fiction and the Goosebumps novels. My main aim in life is to become one of those creepy industry characters who spends their time sniffing around young and naïve talent in the hopes of flogging a few ‘dad caps’.

My finest job was probably working for my dad in the family trade of dry stone walling (which explains my surname). I’m not sure if dry stone walls exist in America, but they’re those fairly humble looking stone walls you see dividing up the fields and forests around the English countryside.

Anyway, building them isn’t too bad as far as manual labour goes. When it’s raining and you’re miles up some hill wallowing in the mud lugging big stones around with nothing more for lunch than a chicken and mushroom Pot Noodle and a Penguin biscuit, then it’s a little miserable – but on a good day when the sun is shining and you’re working with ‘good stone’, it’s hard to beat.

The best days were when my dad would fall asleep just a few minutes before the end of the lunch hour, basically extending the break for at least another 45 minutes. Thinking about this job now, I’m not sure why I ever gave it up.

Do you have any other hobbies besides riding? Yeah, but I’d say the lines were pretty blurred. This is maybe a pretty boring answer, but I suppose riding lends itself to other hobbies pretty well. I might be wrong, but I don’t think keen swimmers or budding javelin-throwers get into photography or making videos in quite the same way. It’s sort of like the ‘pillars of hip-hop’ or something – riding, taking pictures, messing round with video stuff and generally snooping around all fits together nicely (or at least it does in my peppered mind).

It’s not like I’m slipping on my Etnies t-shirt for my weekly two hour power sesh and then the next night I’m wearing some short-shorts down at the climbing wall. Even when I’m on holiday with my wife, I’m still just snooping around the same way - we’re not buying tickets for some naff rollercoaster or dining out at exclusive restaurants with Abe Froman.

Are you able to take time off of riding and not feel like you're missing out or feel guilty? I have one friend who really goes in on the guilt tripping if I don't ride. Related: You said you like sitting on benches. Can you do that on a nice day? At the age of 28, I’d like to feel like I can just about deal with a few missed sessions. Obviously I still need a comprehensive run down of spots seshed and feats accomplished when I’m away, but it’d be mad if I was out all the time. The human body can’t handle that much raditude.

Fear of things going un-photographed does creep in sometimes, but Clarky will have filmed it anyway, and Gaz and Wozzy are better photographers than me, so if they’re about then hopefully someone caught the action.

Moving onto the subject of benches, these babies really come into play during my dinner break at work. I get on fine with everyone there, but when the clock strikes twelve I’m not going to be sat in the office spilling reheated chilli over my keyboard… I’m straight out into the city centre on full sit-off mode – hopefully getting into some daft conversation with one of Manchester’s many vagabonds.

A few months ago I was sat in town when I was approached by a fairly scruffy gentleman who was bleeding loads from his forehead after someone kneed him in the skull. The rest of my lunch break was spent trying to sort him out a bit. One meal deal, some wet wipes and a pack of king-skins later, he seemed alright. You don’t get these hijinks sat inside all day.  

I was just thumbing through the new Red Steps (nice job) and I just realized how much I enjoy your interviews -- what is it that you like about interviews? Not trying to stroke the ego here but you are really good at it... Cheers. Any ego strokes are much appreciated. This maybe sounds a bit daft, but I want to know everything. This is probably evident to the people who know me, but I’m a complete mither, completely hassling everyone with questions all the time.

This pesky nature extends into everything, meaning that I spend a lot of time reading a lot of interviews about the things that I’m into. I buy a lot of old copies of magazines like Wire, Ray Gun and Sidewalk on eBay, and even though the interviews contained within those pages might have been conducted in the corner of a pub maybe 25 years ago, they’re still worth reading today.

A proper interview with a little intro and some photos laid out nicely on a page… it’s mint – it’s a finished thing – sort of like a well-edited video or something. I know a lot of people are into ‘podcasts’ these days, and that’s fair enough, but to me – they’re not complete enough. I don’t want to hear people say ‘um’ and ‘err’ all the time, and I want something sick to look at (and by that, I don’t mean a load of pundits sat around a table with headphones on).  

I’m going to rattle on here whilst I’ve got the chance. Anyone reading this who gets the opportunity to answer questions for an interview, a ‘bike check’ or anything else…don’t just write a lazy sentence for each answer – go mad. Tell some funny stories. Or if you’ve got nothing to say, just make something up. No one cares about how responsive your headtube angle is or how you ‘usually just cut the bars down’. This could be your only chance to air your thoughts into the wider world, and you’re going on about what PSI you put in your tyres? COME ON PLEASE TRY HARDER YOU BORING GIMPS.

(above) Spread from Sam’s zine, Latvia Photos. (below) Cover of Sam’s zine, Around Town.

You also make photo zines/books not related to riding. Do you have any high art aspirations with this stuff? No real aspirations I’m afraid. Wine gives me bad heartburn, so I generally try and swerve anything resembling a gallery opening schmooze-off. As I was sort of saying before, making photo zines is just an extension of everything else. I like taking photographs, so it makes sense to put them together. It’s all pretty small-time really – it’s not like I’m getting thousands printed.

To be honest, it’s all a complete faff that I could easily avoid by not bothering and just sitting around watching American power-dramas, but it’s good to have stuff to look back on – even if it’s just a 40 page zine that nine people will see.

Crouching under a tattered old curtain processing rolls of film every night whilst being mithered by my cat isn’t particularly glamorous and I’d imagine there are probably easier ways to get cosy with the artistic elite.

What's your favorite slang word? Going back to my walling days, my dad uses some pretty intriguing slang terms. Unlike inner-city slang, which will usually be documented in music or useless BBC3 comedies, these more rustic words don’t get much recognition. I don't use these terms myself, but I certainly respect them. Here’s a few choice cuts…

“A few skins on the job” – a large workforce “Keitel” – a fairly humble work-jacket “Bait” – lunch “Bray it – hit it “Kessen” – when an unclipped sheep falls over onto its back and can’t get up due to its weight. This happens more often than you’d think.

You can buy scoop up a copy of Sam’s magazine, Red Steps, in the Challenger web shop here, look at the online shop, The Central Library, that Sam runs with Clarky here, and check out some of his other photo zines/books here.

[airanddust]

A day in isolation

Day I don’t even know. It’s March 27. I should be packed and ready for a trip to Japan, but that was cancelled a month ago. We should have been there to see the cherry blossoms and stay in a cramped Osaka hotel room. Now, as the meme says, we will be going to “Los Kitchenos.”

My mornings start with a sense of reluctance. Sailor nudges my leg two minutes before my 7 am alarm. I used to wake up at 6, which, since the time change, is now 7, but I haven’t been to the office since then so I’ve been waking up at this time for…three weeks. Since March 5.

I feed the dogs, stumble in the wan light to pull open the blinds, flip on my Happy Light, and unfurl my thick purple yoga mat. I don’t bother with the toning yoga videos anymore. It’s all stretches and relaxation practices. I choose fifteen or twenty minutes, or thirty if I didn’t hit snooze and feel luxurious. I tilt my spine side to side in tabletop position, hands and feet against the ribbed mat. A catch releases somewhere in my back.

The first downward dog is always a balm for my calves. My right leg is a block of concrete, stiff and unmoving after an uncomfortable night. I often wake to find myself jammed against one shoulder, or with a hand tingling, or my hip screaming so loudly it pulls me from a dream.

I work through the flow and inevitably need a tissue when my body spurts up some gunk that went dormant overnight. Clarity returns to my sinuses. I feel a little less hatred for the day ahead. It almost feels like a normal day.

Since stocking up for the vacation-apocalypse, I now have a myriad of breakfast choices as compared to my typical instant oatmeal packet or protein shake. I could have protein waffles, banana bread, strawberries, string cheese, or cinnamon raisin bread that Robert made, wide and puffy. 

I read the Bible while I eat. I used to read it on my YouVersion app, but that was creating a too-addictive don’t-break-the-chain habit (I got to 100 days this year), and the reading didn’t go deep. I switched to the mid-Psalms in my fifteen-year-old NASB college Bible and starting journaling my SOAP —  another unfortunate acronym, but a helpful one I gleaned from our church’s online messages. Scripture, Observation, Application, Prayer. It helps me identify what most speaks to me in a passage and consider it more closely. Today it’s Psalm 41.

I have fifteen minutes to write, perched on the edge of my dilapidated former office chair, which has lost two silver wheels and now sits disabled next to my desk. I realized I need a separate space, even if it’s just a seat two feet from my office chair, in which to write and thus separate myself from work.

I check newsletters in my email. The Denison Forum, the New York Times briefing, the Hustle, Briefingday, and, on Fridays, Girls’ Night In. I take a quick scroll through Instagram. Sometimes I watch a few stories from my favorite fashion bloggers. Then I lift the lid of my work MacBook Pro.

It’s time to work, but the thought of eight hours ahead of me is nearly paralyzing. I usually open Trello, where I’ve divided my tasks into To Do, Doing, and Done, but today I try Marie Forleo’s handwritten method of finishing the sentence “The one thing I will accomplish today is…” Today, it is sketching and mocking up a grid view for car sensors.

Then the Slack messages come in. I removed Slack from my phone at the advice of a coworker — “only I can give myself anxiety; Slack doesn’t have that privilege” — but the desktop app still manages to contribute to the low-grade anxiety that I will miss a critical conversation. I disabled the red badge of death. I turned on Do Not Disturb. Yet I still compulsively open Slack every ten minutes. Working remotely seems to make me eager to prove I’m around, available, not goofing off, and I don’t get into that deep zone of focus I need. But I try. I turn on an instrumental playlist from Spotify — it only recommends classical and movie scores for me now — and clump my old, cheap Amazon headphones over my ears.

My cat Nala weaves in between my keyboard and monitor. She flips onto her back and splays her legs out, falls asleep, and spreads ever so subtly until her back leg shoves my keyboard to the far edge of the desk, where I am now forced to sit diagonal to my computer. If I shut her out of the office, she scratches the door and makes pleading guttural noises, but in the office, she seems to know when I have a Zoom meeting and pretends to run an agility course. More than twice I’ve had to introduce her to coworkers when she hops between me and the webcam, leaving a dark tail in her wake.

We had catered lunch daily at the office. Now we fend for ourselves. This week I wrote down a semi-meal plan, and today I pull two red-topped plastic containers from the fridge to mix Thai ground beef with leftover Kraft Mac and cheese. I microwave it until it’s a strangely humid combination of cuisines.

I read the latest edition of Real Simple while I eat. The magazine came bagged in a plastic sheath, which I peeled off and threw away before washing my hands. I know the content was created months ago before this virus existed, and yet it’s still odd to read something so remarkably free of Covid-19. There is, however, a spring cleaning feature that explains the difference between sanitizing and disinfecting. That reminds me we only have a handful of Clorox wipes left. When we run out I’ve thought of dipping paper towels into the leftover solution at the bottom of the canister. I haven’t been super diligent about wiping down surfaces, but then again, we don’t go out much. I haven’t been outside in two days.

I return to my desk and mindlessly nibble on a Seattle Chocolate Double Distilled Mint bar. I eventually return to the kitchen to make DIY milk tea — cold Lipton with a splash of milk, mixed in my reusable boba tea tumbler. I didn’t think I could tolerate caffeine, but the iced tea has just enough to propel me through the rest of the workday. I don’t have tapioca to add but that’s okay. There are apparently sixty-eight carbs per serving of boba. I’m already eating too much. We stocked up on rice cakes, bananas, peanut butter, oatmeal, canned soup, dried pineapple, Pop-Tarts, and granola. Five-year-old me is constantly aware of this and always planning my next trip to the kitchen.

At three I join a few coworkers for what we call Zoom-ba, our virtual dance session, where I share a pre-made YouTube playlist and we dance in tiny thumbnail windows with each other. Our favorite instructor is a guy named Mao who wears bright colors and dances on a pier somewhere over tropical waters. It helps us feel less like we’re trapped in our small, dark homes.

After an hour more of work, I join another Zoom call to work out with friends who exercise with me almost daily now. Today we do legs. Last time we did abs, which, for some reason, left Laura with sore arms and me with achy glutes. We’re still figuring out how to do this. We place our laptops on chairs and the floor and follow an impossibly fit woman on YouTube.

Sweaty and tired, I tell my friends goodbye and pull up Instagram to watch the nightly fireside chat from my favorite finance author. It’s comforting to have this small slice of a predictable schedule: to know that every night, he’ll appear on my screen at 5:30. After this I don’t know what I’ll do. Maybe eat, or walk the dogs.

Robert makes mashed potatoes in the Instant Pot, and a thick, starchy scent wafts through the house. The Instagram Live ends and I join him for small plates of mashed potatoes with canned green beans. It feels sort of like a survival meal. We forgot to defrost any meat. I know I’ll be hungry later.

It’s raining so we don’t walk the dogs. Instead, we finish watching the first season of Altered Carbon, which I wasn’t sure I’d even want to finish watching. I don’t like how the story is ending. I also realize that with each show I watch, I’m wondering why the actors stand so close to each other. It hasn’t even been six months since all of this started. Will I think this way about every show from now on?

After the show ends Robert goes to his home office and I go to mine, where I open Skillshare for the next new routine I’ve established: learning Spanish. A coworker mentioned it could be a good way to pass the time, and since we have several Spanish-speaking friends and I love Zumba music, I’d like to learn it. I sit in front of my laptop and repeat words to the screen.

Some nights I make a tiny zine out of a sheet of printer paper. I think I’m putting too much on my plate. My creativity feels dried up, restless, and I end up on Twitter or some other internet rabbit hole. I don’t want to look back and see that every decision I made during this time was reactionary, but some days I don’t feel like I can muster much more than that.

Before brushing my teeth and washing my face, I go through my planner, make sure I did everything I wanted to do today. I realize how crude that sounds when, as some articles tell me, I shouldn’t be focused on output during a time of global crisis. But I feel listless without these goals. I need something to put me in motion, even if only for distraction.

Now I’m in bed. I have a stack of library books procured hours before the library shut down, but I don’t always read them. I keep one on my nightstand just in case. I’ll probably watch Robert play Animal Crossing on the Switch until I can’t keep my eyes open anymore. The music and repetitive actions are calming. Boring. Kind of like life used to be.

I fall asleep.

[knightedrogue]

R, V, X for the fanfic writer meme, please? Thank you!

Thanks @lajulie24!

R: Which writers (fanfic or otherwise) do you consider the biggest influence on you and your writing?

Oh, yes. Let’s talk fic authors, because then we can all enjoy the fun together and call out some excellent people at the same time!

1. Ivylore: When I first started writing fic in the early 2000′s, I could not for the life of me figure out what kind of author I wanted to be. I wrote everything from mindless fluff to awful character death angst to a random story about archetypes. Sometime in there I started reading and talking to Ivy in the context of H/L message boards. And she completely blew me over with the maturity of her characters and their relationship. The way she wrote Han and Leia made me think of them as real people, with faults and failures, who are redeemed by their choices and love for each other. It was a revelation. I  know lots of people find “Renewal” too dark to read, and I understand that feeling. But talking with her about her choices in writing that story made me realize a fundamental truth about fic-writing: your characters do not have to be anyone else’s stories. They might be Han Solo and Leia Organa, but they are your Han Solo and Leia Organa. 

2. @corellianblue: I have a feeling she’s going to roll her eyes at me when she reads this, but it’s true. Lemme tell you: Cindy Olsen’s fics on the Corellian Embassy (and in zines) were the highlight of reading fic for me. Like Ivy she treats Han and Leia as real people, with failings and flaws. I remember reading “Day and Night” and “Only Night” (companion pieces about Han’s time in carbonite) and coming away with a new understanding of her characters every single time. Over and over again, I’d read them. It was a fundamental change in how I saw Han and Leia, a deeper, adult relationship that I had never considered and, to be honest, I hadn’t experienced. 

3. @holdouttrout: Also going to roll her eyes at me when she reads this. :) Trout is a real-life friend of mine and when we realized that we loved each other’s fanworks as well, it was a glorious moment. When you read a piece from Trout, you see her complete understanding of language and how to stab right at the heart of a matter. For me, a free-wheeling adverb-using anarchist, Trout’s writing was inspiring. And then, too, she was the one to remind me to keep writing when I first came back to fandom. I was so frustrated by my rusty skills and instincts, and she urged me to keep writing through all the shit. And that advice was the perfect reminder for me. 

I already did “V” so I just skip on over to ....

X: How would you categorize your fanfic reading?  Are you a voracious reader?  Do you carefully pick and choose?  Something in between?

I think for me it’s a matter of how much time I have to devote to fic-reading. Sometimes when I’m writing a fic that’s particularly challenging, I won’t be able to read anything for fear of my insecurity rearing her ugly head. 

But when I have the time and am feeling secure (god, that sounds awful, but I’m sure my fellow authors understand the sentiment), I like to read long stories slowly, completely engrossed in the world of the fic. For instance, it took me months to start reading Knitzkampf’s “Nobody But Yourself” or Dant Solo’s newest “Dark Matters 2″ but once I read them, that’s all I read. I’m not always the most voracious reader until I know that the author is committed to finishing their story (yes I know how ludicrous that sounds coming from someone that abandons their fics for years at a time) but I go all-in when I read. 

Because my real life is a hot mess of activity and demands on my time, I read what other people recommend. My list of fics is ENORMOUS and there are so many of you who I haven’t read yet but, rest assured, I will get there! I love to read when I have the time! It’s a beautifulr reprieve from the stress of my real life responsibilities. Thank god for fic! 

[fieldguidetofeelings]

CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS - ISSUE ONE

hello from a small writing nook in downtown los angeles where it’s nearly 7 p.m. and somewhere out there the sun is setting. this is a call for submissions for issue one of ‘the field guide to feelings’

curated and constructed by koty neelis and friends, the ‘field guide to feelings’ is a zine for writers, artists, and creative weirdos of all types to come together and share their ideas and voices in a space that combines writing, music, film, and art. it’s an exploration of universal emotions, experiences, and how we live in them in different ways. 

we are experiencing some dark times and that’s why it feels so important to come together in any way right now. whether you’re an emerging artist or an established writer we want to hear from you. 

about koty:

i’m a writer, journalist, and artist that’s been making zines since I was 12 years old growing up on my parents’ farm in michigan with very little access to the rest of the world. zines were how my friends and i communicated and explored our thoughts, emotions, and creativity. it’s been some time since i made one and i’ve been itching to collaborate with others in this medium.

lately, i’ve been inspired by nights that feel strange and important. i’ve been thinking a lot about vulnerability and anxiety, longing and desire, sweetness and empathy, fear and darkness—these very different raw emotional sides of ourselves we often think are a portrayal of weakness. it's these experiences i've been delving deeper into with my work and what i wanted to focus on with this zine. 

i’ve lived a bit of a nomadic life and what i’ve learned about people in every place i’ve been, big or small, is that we are all inherently the same. we are all quietly breaking and healing from the wild pain that lives within us all. i like to think each place and person i come across as a teacher of mine. i believe there’s bravery in being soft and that you can find beauty within the darkness and fragile vulnerability of life—that’s why this zine exists. so let’s get to where you come in! :)

first issue is: HERE COMES A FEELING YOU THOUGHT YOU’D FORGOTTEN.

looking for: essays, illustrations, visual storytelling, playlists, poetry, and experimental prose.

ultimately, the first issue is an expression of loneliness and about the search for genuine connection…which can be hard in a place like los angeles, chicago, or anywhere, really. 

i’m interested in the experience of detachment and being surrounded by others while your mind is a million miles away thinking about someone or something else; the experience of being alone with other people, aloneness with our friends, with loved ones, with strangers, at home, in bed, in public, wherever. 

some other ideas on exploring this theme to get you going...

knowing you want something but can’t quite put your finger on what it is. or the opposite! knowing exactly what you want or who you want but not sure if you’ll ever be able to make it happen.

sexual desire. wanting the strange, the unusual. perversion. kink. limits // boundaries // finding freedom in that exploration and trust with another person

but also desiring intimacy and the way we bond in their sweeter, simpler forms - affection, a kiss, holding hands, relaxing together after a long day, cooking dinner together, soft quiet mornings in unison, the humbleness of routine with someone, sharing memes :), exploring cities, neighborhoods, restaurants together, etc

relationships/friendships/connections formed when you’re in the in-between, neither here nor there; the people you go to to fill a void (for better or worse). 

drinking alone - either at home or in public - what it says (or doesn’t say) about you, how people interact with you, conversations you have or overhear, relationships formed with bartenders/waitstaff and other regulars. not drinking at all - sober living, taking a dry month, going to AA, wherever you are in the journey, how that changes the way you interpret social events, how friendships change, how you change.

travel - road trips, skipping town, expeditions, going on tour, getting away and out of your environment…even if it’s only down the street, two towns over or three time zones away. removing yourself from situations, places, and the people that usually surround you. how we escape to avoid things back home, to ‘find’ ourselves in a different way, the realities of what escaping and starting new/over really look like, the loneliness and renewal of it all time and time again.

alienation, feeling out of place - at home, in your relationship, or in a larger sense - in society // the experience of being/feeling like an alt citizen. moments of emotional isolation // ((dis))connection.

the end of missing someone. things that are felt but not said ((unspoken communication))

the start of something new: the wonder, the angst, the romance, the excitement of a crush and exploring a new relationship. the anticipation, sweetness, and agony of it all. the disappointment and lingering loneliness that arise when a roadblock appears, when things don’t work out as you hoped—you said the wrong thing, timing wasn’t right, you lost an opportunity, missed the chance, how we cope with that disappointment in different ways. or the opposite - finding a genuine, beautiful connection where/when you least expect it, the kind that lights the path to your creative work and/or a new chapter. the kind of person you meet and you’re like, fuck I think they might just change my life. then they do :) -the intersection of music and memory. the songs, movies, and other media we consume when we’re in these various emotional states. the things we turn to over and over because they conjure up certain emotions; a feeling, a memory from before, or because they elicit an awakening within us that gives us hope or wonder for the future—or the total opposite—triggered memories, a darkness within we can’t escape, being brought back to moments we thought we outlived/got over

anything related to these themes are up for grabs.

submissions should be sent to: meetyouinthevoid@gmail.com.

this zine will be distributed in various cities depending on time/resources.

all contributors will receive a copy of the zine and if you’re in chicago or austin come join us for a cute time after publication for drinks, music, and friendship (details TBA).

please include a short bio and any relevant social media info with your submission. questions? e-mail us or find koty on twitter or instagram. 

[learningtoeatokayagain]

trigger: suicide, attempt, depression, mental health

I started therapy again because of some shit that happened in January. I will get into that. But I have avoided writing about it because I was so fucking sick of constantly talking about it. I was telling professionals everything that happened. Constantly. I was keeping family and friends updated. I was the person that had to be the one to fucking figure out everything and visit and make the plans and make sure everything went okay. So it was a lot of fucking pressure. I couldn’t write about it because I was in the midst of fucking dealing with it.

So I had therapy today and I realized ... like, some shit. haha. So stupid ... not that I realized stuff, but what I said. Anyway, I realized stuff and it was super insightful and helpful. But let me just start from the beginning.

This will be my first time writing about. I tried while it was going on. I wanted to make a zine about it, but I couldn’t muster it. I was kind of upset by that. I just was so fucking drained. I just couldn’t fucking do it.

On January 20, I went out with a couple friends from work (and yes that was the inauguration date and I’m an anarchist and didn’t vote - so it has nothing to do with that). My daughter had called and asked for a ride home, but I had already told her previously that day that I couldn't give her a ride because I was going to go out with friends and drink some beer. She participated in the walk-out at school. The school district had called parents telling them to encourage their kids NOT to walk out, but I was like ummm ... no. Do it. Of course. I had a couple of adult friends who were being allies during the walk-out and asked to keep an eye out, but no one saw her. She had chatted with me on Snapchat and said she hit a cop and how it all felt amazing. So I was like, cool.

I knew she wasn’t feeling herself. I had a feeling something was coming up. I had been asking her daily how her mood was, checking in on her taking her Prozac, and I started her in counseling again. I had also reached out to the school and guidance counselors to see if they could reach out to her and do weekly check-ins. I had called her former counselor, but she was no longer there so I put her on the waiting list for a new person, but kept calling around and eventually found someone and we saw her the night before (the 19th).

I felt on top of shit. Like, knowing I was doing everything I could. I had asked her if she felt how she did when she was hospitalized a couple years ago and she said it wasn’t that bad.

We are close, like I grew up with her. I had her as a teen. It’s always been us. My entire late teens and adult life. I don’t know what it’s like not to have a kid. I never had adult time without a kid in my life.

So, January 20th.

I biked home after a couple of beers and she wasn’t home yet, but she told me she was going to take the bus. I always made sure she had a bus pass or a couple of dollars. Or told her to make sure she had it.

When I got home, I ran my bike upstairs and decided to go to the corner store for some veggies for my rabbits. I ran into her on the street. Odd. She had just gotten off the bus and she smiled and I was like, come with me to the corner store, tell me about the walk-out. Reluctantly she came. Told me the walk-out was super fun and that hitting the cop felt good. We walked home.

She went to her room, as she always does. I went to my room and had texted my boyfriend saying I might come out later to his bar (where he works), but fell asleep (not unusual. However, before I fell asleep, my daughter and I had Facetimed making fun of Hilary Clinton memes (we hate her). Then I fell asleep.

At some point, that night, I woke up to her saying: I took a bunch of pills. I was like, wtf? What? And I was like, wait? Why? She said I needed to call 911. She went to grab her iPad and a book. I panicked, grabbing my shit, and was like, let’s go to the ER. I drove to the Children’s Hospital ER and had no clue where the fuck to go, so parked my car wherever. I went into the hospital doors and I told the guy at the door that she took pills and he told me where to go and I started crying. She was just standing there. Triage nurse called us and asked what was going on and I explained and the nurse asked her why she did it and she said, “to stop the pain.” They took her back into another room and I had to answer some questions, then they told me to go to the waiting room. They also told me that she said she didn’t want me to come back there.

So I am there by myself, crying, amongst other families.

I texted a friend and asked if she could come and she said she would. I also texted my boyfriend and he called and said he would try to get someone to take over his shift. I texted my siblings, one of them told my mom. My mom called me, drunk, of course ... rambling about shit. She kept saying, “God Bless your boyfriend” and I really have no clue why.

I had no clue wtf was going on, so I finally asked and they said they thought I wasn’t there and I was SOOOOOOO pissed. I was like, no I have been waiting in the waiting room for a few hours, no updates, nothing. I got to go back to where she was and she was unconscious, being monitored. From my understanding, she took several Prozac, tylenol, and old seroquel. She hadn’t been taking her meds and was stocking them up. She also was cutting again, I found bloody tissues in her bed when I got home later. They said they checked the rest of her body and just found a few cuts. So it seemed recent. Although I found out later she had been cutting quit a bit.

She was in the ER for a while. My friend left and my boyfriend stayed. They took us back to the family room. They asked me what happened and I explained what I knew. I said all the stuff about me reaching out to school and guidance counselors, getting her back in counseling, checking on meds and mood. They said it seemed I was tried everything. I had the names of the new therapist and her psyciatrist. I was super on top of shit because I was so fucking terrified of like, DCYF getting called. I’m a single mom. I’m a  young mom. I stick out more. Also, I did that stuff because she needed help.

She was transferred to ICU, still unconscious. Her heart was becoming ... I don’t know, the rhythm was starting to become irregular. The team talked to me, again, about what happened and what was going on. They had to give her heart potassium to get it to beat regularly.

I was trying to stay on top of it. I mostly just stood there, answering questions. It was so scary seeing her in the bed in the ICU. She had no clue what the fuck was going on because she was unconscious. I also felt weird because my boyfriend was there and that had to have been an intense situation. They kept referring to him as her dad and we would correct them. She had to be constantly monitored. I ended up going home to try and sleep, but I really couldn’t. My boyfriend stayed with me.

I woke up early to go back to the hospital and she wasn’t awake yet. She was still being constantly monitored. I brought my computer, started my homework, and just sat there. Waiting.

I don’t totally remember when she woke up, but I do remember at one point, she did and saw me and smiled. I couldn’t fucking smile back. I could hardly look at her or talk to her. I couldn’t fucking do it. I wanted to, but I couldn’t. And I couldn’t bear the fact that I was the only person for her at that moment. The only person who could visit and see her. The only person who has been in her life and has raised her. The one fucking thing that I put so much fucking effort into. The most out of anything in my life. More than my fucking self. And all this fucking guilt and shame was there, but it only started coming out recently. Cognitively, I had to just push this through and I pushed my feelings aside.

She was eventually transferred to the floor where minors go before they go to the behavioral unit. She was still on 24 hour watch.

The only thing I could do was offer my physical support. I couldn’t talk to her. I was so fucking confused and angry and sad. I didn’t fucking get any of this at all. Like, WHY THE FUCK? I had tried so much and she wasn’t honest and I am like, the least reactive mom, ever. Of course I get upset and confused and mad, but I am chill. I don’t scream and yell. I cry. But my responses to her are fairly consistent and I don’t judge her. I get why people cut. I get it. I had a fucking eating disorder. I have been insanely self destructive because it helped. And it often felt like they only thing that did fucking help. I get it. I totally get it.

But I never ever wanted that for her. EVER. I don’t want that for anyone. especially my kid. I would rather have my eating disorder back, full-blown, then have her go through all that bullshit.

But again. The only thing I could offer was my physical support. So that’s what I did.

We eventually started talking. She apologized and was crying to me one day, saying she didn’t mean to do what she did. Family from another state called and I think it was helpful for her to hear from her cousin who is a little older who was being super non-judgmental and told her she just wanted her to be okay.

She had (and still has) constant tremors. She couldn’t eat on her own because the tremors were so bad that it caused her not able to open food containers or use silverware. She also couldn’t walk without a walker.

She was transferred to the behavioral unit and was there for a little over 2 weeks. I visited her each day, participated in family therapy, and figured out a plan. I was terrified to have her back. Sharps and pills were locked up (some still are). She left on 40 mg of prozac. One of the psychiatrists had been super upfront with her, which I thought was helpful, but she found it difficult. But on some level, I felt she needed it. One thing that stuck out to me during the whole thing is super random. I visited during game time and they patients were playing Apples to Apples and her and I always play weird. Like, we pick shit that doesn’t make sense and laugh. That’s what we were doing and the psychiatrist pointed out how much we know each other and are in each other’s heads. And it’s true.

Now, almost 7 months later.  I have noticed how incredibly low and bad my anxiety has been lately. My daughter and I did intensive home therapy and now she’s doing OCD outpatient treatment. She’s also on the waiting list for Mindful Teen DBT group.

So I was in therapy today, discussing how I felt lately. My low mood, my anxiety, fixating on shit. Fixating on surface shit. Like ... stuff that really doesn’t matter in the entire scheme of things. Like, one thing is about how I feel my boyfriend lied about a ride he got and it’s like, it doesn’t matter. I don’t get why he lied but I don’t even know if he did lie for sure! It’s just so stupid! My obsession with it. And I’m too scared to bring it up. Mostly ... nervous on my part because I feel like an idiot for being focused on it.

Anyway, I think I started to realize that I didn’t deal much with the emotional part of all of this because I had to like, deal with what was doing on. Like, I had to just deal and figure it out. Plus I was working a full and part-time job and I couldn't quit. I had just started the new full-time job. I just had to push through and do whatever I needed to do to make sure she was alive. And I haven’t fully dealt with how, emotionally, she could have died and I fucking can’t imagine my life without her. Even though being a parent can be completely wretched and awful and so prison-like, I still can’t imagine not having her in my life. I want to die before her. I don’t want her to die before me. I can’t bear the fact that she could have died before me. My therapist also brought up the stages of grief related to this and I never thought of that. And also, how this was super emotionally traumatic for me. On top of that, she’s almost 16 and she’s separating from me, which is healthy and what she’s supposed to do! But how that’s so hard right now because I want to make sure she’s safe and okay. I am also having a difficult time with trust because I don’t always trust what she tells me in relation to her mood and I’m always thinking she might still have pills stocked up and she’s not taking them and she’s just lying to me about everything. It’s hard not to think that she still might want to die.

I also talked about how much I’ve put into being a mom because I didn’t want her to have a shitty life. I wanted her to be okay and I have a lot of guilt and shame, even though I know I literally did everything I could. But it’s so hard to think about how hard I put into this and how it almost ended. And I am a fucking counselor and I have been so open with her about all this stuff!

I also realized that it’s summer and she’s home alone a lot now and that’s hard for me. We worked into this, of course, with the help of her in-home counselor and trust and time. But it’s really hard for me to grasp that she is home alone while I’m at work. I’m not at super ease with it. 

It was helpful to get a grasp on what’s been going on with me. It’s been super fucking hard and I feel now I am getting to the core of these shitty emotions. I drank one a couple weeks ago with my boyfriend and friends and ended up a hot mess that night, crying so hard about all this. I certainly cried when it was going on. But I don’t think I super processed it the way I am now and I have always not written about it much. I tried, but I couldn’t do it because I was so sick of talking about. The details. Those fucking details about everything that happened. I just couldn’t keep reliving it.

It’s fucking crazy and intense how I was just dealing with it when it happened and now it has been come flooding back in a super intense way that I never fucking expected. I felt so on top of the shit and I was. But I just couldn’t like ... handle it emotionally the way I am processing it right now.

I couldn’t access the feelings I have now. And this will be something I will probably have to process off/on for a while. Maybe even my whole life. I’m not sure.

I also got child support recently and it was just like wtf. He hasn’t paid in over 2 years. He doesn’t know about either hospitalized and the suicide attempt.

Fuck.

[attract-mode-collective]

The Super Instagram Entertainment System: Classic Edition

A few days ago, the Attract Mode blog celebrated its 5th birthday (the current iteration to be exact). And today is yet another anniversary.

Five years ago was also when I first began demonstrating how deeply video games have become imbedded in our everyday lives. So it only makes sense to present another round-up of game culture snapshots! Starting with…

Something else that was mentioned just the other day; this what it looks like when a Brooklyn-based indie arcade collective is invited to the nation’s capital, where a museum transforms itself into an arcade...

Those photos above were taken over the weekend. Whereas these pics of masskutt, and friends, are over 30 years old…

Another more recent image, from Jake Kazdal, from when he took his kids to a retro arcade in Osaka…

Not sure where Jake is here, other than it’s somewhere in Kyoto, which is home to Nintendo, so…

Yet another blast from the past, and a reminder of where Jake first made a splash, back when Nintendo and Sega were on less than friendly terms…

Speaking of work, it’s Mike Choi at his job, where he had to disassemble a Switch...

Meanwhile, here’s Cory Schmitz at home, settling into his new NYC digs. He’s apparently fitting in quite nicely, cuz our tiny ass apartments necessitates tiny ass shelves filled with only the barest and coolest of essentials…

arcadestick also recently relocated and this was his the temporary set-up at a hotel room. Nuts, I know…

Like many retro gamers, he partakes in dumpster diving for CRTs, though I have no idea where he was able to come across so many all at once like this…

And here’s a custom kit that lives up to his namesake. Gotta love that wood finish…

cpn_pixel showing off the insides of Super Famicom controllers; as one can tell, there have been various revisions over the years that most of us had no idea about…

The above was taken while the rest of the controllers were being cleaned, which retrokk_jp is also doing…

Madara, the Japanese only RPG for the Famicom is Japanese only no more, thanks to jake74…

Not sure if Jake also translated Sweet Home, but here he is most definitely producing his own custom cart art…

I’ll just let jjsignal do the explaining here: “I got this cart of Hector '87 at a Book Off because it felt powerful. There was obviously a lot of love and pride in it. Strange that they just let it go. It's certainly my favorite sentimental used cart. It's a fun SHMUP, but sadly, I'm awful at it…”

patrickashe showing off the ultra rare #2 of the 1UP MegaZine…

actual_iocat with a “Live Edition” of his Incredibly Strange Games zine; only 20 copies were made! So yeah, it’s pretty rare as well…

stulivingston’s Mario Kart 8 team, representing Cartoon Network, recently went head-to-head with folks at Nickelodeon Animation. So naturally he made a zine about it, entitled “4th-Floor 4th-Furious”…

Say hello to my new fave artist, adihash. Though I am willing to admit that his handiwork is not for everyone…

But hey, I’m a sucker for any Garfield related gag…

My MacBook needs this sticker, ASAP…

Behold the crown jewel of alexsavage_alexsavage’s animation cel collection…

No idea if microom made these Sega retro cookies himself, or if he simply came across them in the wild…

I also have no idea where the following hails from. Sorry! Hey, when you’ve constantly sifting through and organizing legit hundreds of Instagrams, mistakes will happen I’m afraid…

rainbow_blight recently acquired some Dragon Quest glassware…

It should be common knowledge by now, how I’m always eager to showcase the intersection of video games and Japanese wrestling, aka I want johntv’s shirt…

I also wouldn’t mind the one nameoftheyear is wearing, since I dig both Nier and the BORN TO DIE meme (no, it hasn’t gotten old for me yet)…

Is jewelry more your thing? Then please confer with mare_sheppard…

Speaking of game designers, time to find out what SWERY is up to these days, and… here he is dressed up all fancy and with an owl, okay…

I also forget if this room he stayed at had PJ Berri there already or if he brought him along…

Here we see Mathew Kumar receiving $40 from Jordan Mechner, which he had just gotten from John Carmack for whatever reason…

Here’s Akira enjoying a drink with Kazuma at stonyo_’s place…

And here's Akira making a mess, maybe cuz he had one too many…

I’ve actually never watched American Psycho, so I’m going to have to assume this shot from ghostarcade is legit and not some Photoshop...

miki800 notices a bus’s stripes and its passing resemblance to early Famicom branding…

EDIT: You all have no idea how long it took to choose the absolute perfect 50 images for this 5th anniversary round-up, but because the following so perfectly connects with my most recent post about Rez, as well as the photo that comes immediately after; it’s Jim Guthrie getting ready to ship his Cassette Boxset…

rj_star asks: “Deal or no deal?”

andonuts proudly showing off his copy of Dratula for the Game ???, as would I…

mrghostyx is currently in Mexico and sharing his discoveries, with my fave being this intersection of video games (in this case the Pokemon Jigglypuff) and Mexican wrestling (in this case the luchador Psycho Clown)…

All right, time to wrap this special anniversary assortment of game culture snapshots the proper way, with a bunch of cat pics. Starting with neoretro75’s…

misterraroo’s…

krispiotrowski’s…

finalfinalgirl’s…

smurfwreck’s…

And finally, the resident feline at Edit Mode…

Don’t forget: Attract Mode is now on Medium! There you can subscribe to keep up to date, as well as enjoy some “best of” content you might have missed the first time around, plus be spared of the technical issues that’s starting to overtake Tumblr.