#these are basically a summary of like childhood to 18 yrs so u can get a better picture of things obv not in super details or w/e tho

[gameclam]

this isnt an art request (it could be if you wanted to tho!), but a request to elaborate on your headcanons for the Gordons backstories? you seem to have pretty solid headcanons for their childhoods and im interested on hearing your takes on them :)

Oh yes sure! Okay so here they are (generally) in order, these are subject to change depending on au or like. how im feeling. Under the read more bc it's going to be long probably, bc i dont know how to summarize. This is specifically about Freemind/hl/hlvrai gordon as I don't currently have much ideas of Gorgeous's backstory at all.

TLDR: THEY ARE MESSED UP GUYS

I will also say tw's for neglect, child abuse, self harm and such else and transphobia and drugs and the like. All of them had abusive/neglectful parents, and their own mental problems growing up.

Hlvrai gordon; Gordon was born in May, he lived with his mom and dad, his mom is afrolatine and his dad is white. At some point age 5-6 he made a potato launcher and that's when it was found out that he was incredibly smart. For the first part of his life he lived in a Smaller town in washington where he didn't have many friends but at least knew other kids- he realized he was a boy at some point when he was 10 after learning one of his aunts was a transwomen, and he told his mom about it who didn't think he'd STAY a boy but she tried to somewhat support him, they didn't tell his dad bc his dad - while supposedly not transphobic was more traditional and wouldn't've wanted his kid to be trans. He called himself monster names to avoid using his deadname (using names like Rageblood and deathclaw (fave)).

He had trouble making friends outside of just like, people he sometimes played games with at school. Depending on au, he also made a friend age ~10, He met them in the woods and they were an alien child who was 'hiding'. This was Benry (AI versions def. didn't meet him most likely), who at the time, hadn't named himself, instead going by X or- due to gordon's influence, Screamsting. Sadly, somepoint 'round 13, depending on the AU, either Benry vanishes or Gordon moves to Seattle. Either way Gordon gets into a afterschool gifted kids class run by Black mesa, where he learns skills for his future. Gordon over the years focused heavily on Science, Aliens and invader zim, and neopets. He was basically a nerdy little guy for a long time (never changed). And he ran around alone in the woods behind his house a lot- until he moved anyway.

He didn't have a good relationship with his dad (who still believed like, spankings were 'helpful') and would routinely get into fights with him. In Seattle, Gordon had even LESS friends because he was new and awkward to the bigger city. In middleschool-highschool he, for a bit, tried to be an edgier kid, but gave up because he liked button ups a lot, he also joined a swim team at some point which makes him claim he was a jock in highschool. He met kleiner through black mesa's program and looked up to him greatly. He was pretty sheltered from the social aspect of his life leading to him being well, kind of a weirdo. When he was 17 he got into a pretty bad fight w his dad and basically kicked himself out. He later graduated and moved to MIT to continue his life, where he would then meet Kleiner and Coomer.

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HL Gordon: Unlike Gordos he already lived in Seattle, He lived with his mom and dad- similar to HLVRAI gordon, His mom was white and his dad was afrolatine. They lived in a nice-enough house as his parents had alright jobs. Gordon was quickly, off, in his parents eyes, he didn't speak for the first few years of his life- later they learned he was partially deaf, but the hearing aids didn't get him actively speaking, so he learned ASL. They learned he COULD speak but preferred not to, attempts to force him to only made him freak out or completely not do it. He made a tennis ball cannon and they were like 'holy shit.' He got into a gift kid program much earlier. Gordon was often...neglected, his parents didn't talk to him much about things and he was often pushed to be great and not really allowed to be a kid, he was alone often or shoved onto other family who didn't care for him well. He didn't make many friends, but Gordon didn't mind (supposedly) as he didn't get along with other kids as he got to school, He was quiet, cold, and didn't feel the need to care or talk to others. They couldn't even communicate with him- this is where he showed early signs of Conduct disorder- which he was later diagnosed with, as well as autism and ADHD (much earlier diagnosis tho).

He began seeing a therapist age 8-10 but it didn't help too much, But Gordon wasn't stupid, his parents had started to become 'scared' of his cold nature. Gordon misconstrued as they were scared of HIM, and not of his problems. They never fully showed him the love or compassion he deserved. He often felt alone and unheard. He learned he was a boy but no one really- knew about it until he randomly told his mom age like 13, she didn't support this decision and told his father, neither of them completely supported him being trans. He didn't take 'no you aren't' for an answer, though. He began to use his Smarts to disobey his parents wishes, going past parental blocks and learning he had a love of horror movies, which they had forbid him from watching (they often stopped him from watching certain things), sadly after his parents reaction to his gender he'd start self harming as a way to release tension. As he got older he learned that boredom was the worst thing you could inflict on someone, and himself. He hated being bored, leading him to do more disobeying in small amounts as well as heavily focusing on scientific inventions he'd make at home. Gordon also began to mostly just focus on his studies and future in MIT, unlike Gordos he didn't try any sports, and didn't want to. Moving out of his house quickly after turning 18. After moving to MIT he actually met Kleiner who became somewhat of a parent towards him- one of the first people ever that he actively loved and cared for.

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Freemind: Freemind lived in a trailer park in Seattle with his mom and dad, His mom was mixed women (White/black) and his dad was latino. Neither of them shared much of their cultures with him however, so he never really experienced much related to that aspect of him. His parents were abusive, full stop, They often left him alone (They hadn't wanted him, so they'd often leave to live their lives/party bc they would rather be living-young then caring for their son, either leaving him with like, baby sitters or just by himself once he was 'old enough' to make sandwiches or something). Freemind deep down knew his parents didn't really love him but at the time he didn't care, he got to do whatever he damn wanted! He'd run around his neighborhood alone for hours and he'd get to do whatever he wanted in his room or backyard. At age 5-6 he made a 'rock launcher' and got in big trouble for it, they knew he was smart now so he would get in more trouble for doing stupid shit. He was ALSO often placed into random family or family friend households at times (especially during breaks) even if he barely knew them, some were better then others. Overall his childhood was unstable, and he learned he loved aliens and horror movies (leading to his mild obsession with 'overthrowing' things)

The fact he was so-unwatched caused him a lot of problems during his middleschool and highschool years, they never checked in on what he was doing, leading to early substance abuse and self harming problems.

Freemind also didn't make friends much in school- he was kind of a bully and was often too crazy for other kids to handle. Freemind thought he was just a tomboy for a longtime, he found lots of shame in the realization he wasn't cis, thinking his parents would hate him even more... But they barely cared when he came out, To the point that it hurt him more, they didn't care that he was growing up, or becoming himself. He got into a gifted program a bit later then the others (about 13). Around 13 he started to make friends who weren't very nice, the other bullies. He'd never tell them he was transgender, even when he'd started transitioning. Around 16 he'd begin experiencing onset psychosis as well as mild delusions, which would only develop as his life went on. He was kicked out nearly immediately after turning 18, he'd live in a motel for a bit before he was able to move to Massachusetts. He didn't know he was Bisexual until AFTER college and sometime during his time at black mesa. Overall because of his childhood he became much more of an insufferable and weird individual. (this is also where he'd meet his friend Eddie)