#theres still boiler room at least

[ibmcompatible]

I saw you're a fan of L.O.T.I.O.N and I strongly recommend checking out HOR Berlin if you haven't yet for some reason, tons of really great sets on there, definitely check some of the most popular sets if you haven't but I think you'd like the one by Melanie Havens

I was following HOR Berlin for a bit actually, I recently did find out however that HOR stopped a DJ from performing for wearing a shirt with the palestinian flag on it, and then gave a shit apology for the issue. https://mixmag.net/read/hoer-statement-palestine-israel-sam-clarke-tea-censor-boycott-news/

[jean-does-not-have-a-horseface]

hi can i please request one where levi's s/o is sort of like him in personality but just melts whenever theres a baby. like she'll see a baby in town and will go from silent and moody to the heart eyes emoji but a person, or she'll babysit her neice or nephew or cousin and will be just so loving and bubbly? like its obvious that she wants to be a mum but she never brings it up because she doesnt think he wants kids and eventually they get pregnant + his reaction? sorry if this is too much (1/2)

ΑΝΟΟΟΟΝ IM BLUSHING THANK YOU SO MUCH. I really loved this request and it inspired me so I pushed before others because I had to get it out of my system. I hope you like this. It's super duper long also👉👈

Warnings: uhh pregnancy, mentions of anxiety

Tags: fluff, domestic Levi, pregnancy, modern au

Pairing: Levi/ Reader

Baby Fever

Your heartbeat grew louder with each passing second as Mike abused the door with one too many knocks. You didn't know if you could talk, or breath or do anything other than vomiting though this time from the anxiety building at the pits of your stomach and not due to your very recent event of morning sickness.

"Are you alright in there?"

You choke on your own voice as you try to huff a single response. It's not really up to your judgement of you're alright or not but rather in the small white object's that rests between the thumbs and pointer fingers of each of your hands. You contemplate if there's a way to not raise any more suspicion to the blond male, you're at his house for all that matters. Nanaba called you to take care of their their twins and you happily complied to your half sister's pleas because Mike had a very important job interview. Life had taken a toll on him lately, they couldn't afford a babysitter and he was just recently fired due to his company having to cut down expenses thanks to the pandemic. Amidst this pandemonium he had to find a way to provide for his family and help Nanaba with at least a short monthly salary. So babysitting your beloved niece and nephew wasn't much of a problem. Not until now.

At first it hadn't bothered you that your period was late, you had accepted the pcos lifestyle the hard way ever since you first got it. You would track down your period in hopes you could ever predict when it would come again but it always seemed to surprise you. Sometimes it would come in a months notice only to take four months to do a full circle. At twenty three, this was the most positive outturn as a resolution to your problem. Levi was pushing you to eat healthy and exercise to get a better grip of your situation, even though you knew it was in vain. And thus, overall it didn't bother you that you hadn't had your period still, fatigue and breast inflammation were also common problems due to hormonal abnormalities so you chose not to pay any attention to those early signs either.

What had driven you to urge Levi to drop you off to the drugstore next to Nanaba's house though was that you've been having symptoms of morning sickness for almost a week now, that you had tried to push aside for Levi not to notice. He would quarantine you on your on your own and go stay with Erwin and Hange had he any suspicion of you being down with the stomach flu. The stomach flu though didn't feel like that and you knew, you had been through it one too many times, this was something different and yet you cursed at yourself for overthinking it. You had bought the pregnancy test as something that was supposed to turn out negative, as a positive resolution that you weren't pregnant and that you should quest for whatever it was that was making your stomach turn and twist every morning.

Upon finally opening the door in an attempt not to delay Mike who wanted to attend his interview, the blond male inspected your form with a harsh gaze. "You shouldn't push yourself if you're sick. We could call my mother to watch over Eli and Blaire."

"No." You pushed it off. "I'm fine Mike, it's probably that weird mushroom soup I ate yesterday, Levi insisted on not buying it but I didn't listen."

"I see." Mike said scrunching his nose at the process. Sometimes you hated that he knew you so well that he could even smell you lying, but he was Nanaba's childhood friend before her mother married your father and had you; you had practically grown up with the blond duo so for all you knew, even if he was certainly aware that you were lying he didn't push things further. He simply placed a hand on your shoulder, the brother like nature of his touch as assuring as one can be. "If you need anything call me, I'll answer as soon as possible, drink lots of water and don't wear yourself down."

You bore your eyes into his and nodded simply. Mike greeted the twins with reluctance and let out a sigh before fixing his suit perfectly on his shoulders. The small kids smiled bubbly in return and waved at their father enthusiastically. As soon as the door closed and their father got out of sight both children jumped on you with loud giggles. The act alone was enough to curl your lips into an upward position.

By noon you had fed and lulled the kids to sleep, earning some significant time to sink into the crevices of the feathery soft sofa before Nanaba came back from her shift. As tiring as Eli and Blaire were you enjoyed their teeny company. You didn't mind their lack of ability to form full understandable sentences yet, you loved how they didn't even try to spare a second thought on what they bubbled on about and you did your best to provoke them to speak correctly. They would open their arms for you, their tiny palms signaling you to take them into long affectionate hugs as they called a baby spoken version of your nickname and you would melt at it every single time. Everyone knew you much you loved the chubby cheeked sweethearts, as much as it contrasted with your usual demeanor. There was something that truly made you feel like the best version of yourself when you were around them.

Babies seemed to be a hot topic in your group of friends for a couple of months now, ever since you started helping Nanaba in the house before Mike got fired. Levi seemed very unbothered by the subject in a way that saddened you almost; sure, you might have talked about it in the past, being that he was a little older than you and he might have understood that you longed to be a mother one day, but that was as far as that one conversation had gone. He still had that bored, stoic gaze that slipped off of yours when you would encounter a baby in the street, whereas you would basically make heart eyes and weird grimaces to any infant he would just click his tongue and avert his gaze away, to any other direction as if he disapproved off your fondness.

That memory alone left you hollowing inside as you recalled of the two very much pink lines on the screen of the test this morning. Naturally you would check with a doctor before jumping to conclusions, there still was a chance that the test was at fault and you wanted to bet on simply that. If the case was that you were actually pregnant though things were more complicated than you wanted them to be. For instance you were still in University, for your last year at that, but you had excessive amounts of studying to get your hands on your degree and Levi was cornered and ready to be squished by his job for being a vice president, which was unfair as he worked for Erwin. You understood the situation though as Erwin was struggling to keep the company going especially through these rough rough times. There was also the fact that you were terrified of Levi asking you to put the baby down, with pcos wearing your system down you were panicking that you wouldn't have a chance to conceive a baby later on. What if this was your only chance? You've always longed to be a mother so it didn't matter that it came to you this early right?

The sound of the front door clicking open shook you off your thoughts immediately. For better or for worse it was Nanaba that had finally returned, eager to strip herself of her clothes and face mask and run to the bathroom. She offered you small greeting to which you only nodded, your tired mind ordering your eyes to find comfort at small shapes in the ceiling. You didn't know how long your sister took in the bathroom, but judging by the lack of giggling coming from the babies' room you supposed it wasn't for long.

"You want to wait for Levi to come pick you up or should I give you a ride home when Mike's back? He should be home soon!" She spoke as she poured water in a red metallic boiler.

"I'll just walk. I need some air."

Nanaba emitted a soft hum in response "Are you alright? You seem off."

"Oh no." You brushed her off "I was just thinking about what I should wear at Erwin and Hange's anniversary dinner next week, and what gift to buy Levi now that his birthday is coming."

"Good, I see, just don't stress alright?"

___

The way home was longer than you had initially remembered, whether it was for your inability to walk with a steady pace or mostly because it was already getting dark and cold. You wondered if Levi would be getting home by now as you neared the apartment complex the two of you resided in. By the looks of your illuminated window he was already home as expected of him this certain hour. It probably was one of those days when he didn't have a strict deadline to attend to, which, under normal circumstances, only meant more cuddles and kisses for you. Yet, tonight was different.

"Hey Levs" Your voice lingered in his brain the moment you stepped inside.

"Hey brat, welcome home." The kiss you left on his cheek as you hurriedly headed to the bathroom was different, off almost, and he picked up on it immediately. "Did Nanaba drop you off? I had asked Mike to come by tonight, he said he'd bring some tea leaves he bought for me."

He leaned at the frame of the door as he watched you wash every crevice of your face thoroughly, paying enough attention to the insides of your outer nasal cavity. He was pretty meticulous about hygiene and especially at times like these with a hole pandemic going on he wasn't taking any chances, you knew, plus you were kind of disgusted of germs lately yourself, you thought you finally understood where he was coming from. He took a few steps ahead, away from your body in search of a clean face towel to hand out to you when you were done. You have it to him, even if he seemed cold as stone that domestic lifestyle was mesmerizing to you.

"Thanks baby, you're the best." You half smiled.

"You good?"

At this point you wondered if you seriously we're so easy to read. You supposed you were off, but you were always off and unresponsive to many things so what exactly was it about today that made everyone know you had a conflict in your mind.

"Yeah I'm just tired, I walked here."

Levi clicked his tongue at that "Nanaba's home is very far away from here, have a shower and I'll rub your legs and feet." With eyes that never left yours Levi watched as your face lit up a little more, he gave you a tiny of a smile on return.

"You prooomise Levs?" You knew teasing with him could only lead to one thing, yet you did it shamelessly.

"Tch, of course, hurry up, I'm making pancakes with eggs and bacon."

Normally at the very sound of this particular food your eyes would water and your mouth would drool but the unresponsive nature of your expression only sent a new wave of worry through Levi's chest. As much as he had wanted to convince himself you were just tired, he couldn't, not after this reaction to your favorite snack. He decided not to push you into saying anything you didn't want to though. Maybe it was that enormous amount of notes you had to memorize for your next exams in addition to your fatigue and any hormonal altercations.

"Yeah" you trailed off "babe, about that, can we have cocktail shrimp? And maybe fried rice and fries? Pretty pretty please?"

Ah, there it was. Although it was a rare occasion for you not to be in the mood of his infamous pancakes, you could still have a few different cravings from time to time. Levi let out a sigh of relief as he proceeded your order trying to figure of where he should order from, last night's mushroom soup had messed your stomach up, that he knew, but you seemed to be fine now so in theory that should be enough to prevent him from whining out his concerns.

As he closed the door to the bathroom he hummed his favorite tune to himself, softly enough as not to disturb you with your bath. He picked up his phone from the kitchen table with ease before collapsing on the couch, there was a limit to what his body could take and he had surpassed that by far these past few months. Endless deadlines that took turns one after another and extra hours at the office had been killing him, mentally and physically, making him a little more grumpy than usual. In great addition his back ached, his fingers were sore and his mind felt like canned alphabet soup every single night. Perhaps, seeing him in this state was taking a toll on you as well; you were always so protective over him, almost like a mother to her child, despite being younger, and he if he had to, he'd admit he enjoyed it a little too much than he should have.

When you came out of the bathroom he gazed over you briefly, you were sitting before the end of the dresser, standing in front of the full body mirror, examining your form. He seemed to be puzzled by your demeanor once again. Normally, or up until yesterday, you would have immediately shot out to where he was seated at to plough into his arms with wet hair, only to slightly irritate him for getting him wet, not that he didn't enjoy to smell your fresh scent anyway, but it was a game of routine for you by now. It was almost as if you were seeking to be scolded at for not rushing to dry your hair. He always wanted you as healthy as ever.

You couldn't shake off your head how soft Levi's chest is. There probably wasn't a reason as to why he's sleeping shirtless tonight, your apartment was very warm, given that it was the start of December already, but you didn't complain. The feeling of creamy, milky soft skin, perfectly excused by any coarse hair was slowly putting you to sleep. You loved how Levi was so soft everywhere you touched, it was so unlike what the world perceived of him, maybe your baby's skin was going to be as smooth and perfect as his and not as dry and oily as yours. Of course the baby's skin was going to be soft, ugh and those little arms and legs, you couldn't lie to your self, deep down you were just a tad excited to have a baby, if it meant that it would look like Levi you wouldn't want to give up on it for the world.

"Levi, does Kenny keep baby pictures of you?"

"What?" The onyx haired male raised a brow at your inquiry but didn't give you enough time to repeat yourself before he answered. "My mother had so many pictures of me so I guess that it's natural that he has some and well there probably are a few pictures from after my mother's death, I'm not that sure."

In response, he only earned a hum.

"Tch, can I lay on your chest? I want you to play with my hair." His eyes pleaded with you in the darkness. Of course you could never say no to such thing, you loved it even more when he was the one sleeping on you. Another sentence left his lips, this time with a yawn as he shifted himself on you, cooing like a small child. "I'll call Kenny tomorrow, sleep now I know you need it."

____

Under any other circumstance you would have loved seeing everyone's dumbfounded faces stating at you as if they had seen the dead rise from their graves. You had to pinch your arms to remind yourself this was indeed serious and you shouldn't let out a single chuckle.

"Please tell me you're joking" Nanaba pleaded, placing her hand on yours in disbelief.

"I'm going to screeeeeam! Shorty can't even hold it in, ghaaaa!"

"Hange he will hear you through the restroom."

Hange blinked her eyes rapidly at the sound of that. "You haven't told him?" She immediately seemed to lose her enthusiasm, something you hadn't intended to happen, especially at such a night, but you knew you didn't have a say in other people's emotions.

"Hange he never seemed too fond of the idea, why would I complicated things for him?"

Mike's eyes widened in disbelief. There was no way in hell he was having this. You were practically his little sister, seeing you so tormented as you were in the moment when you spoke those words ravaged his last nerve, causing anger to clench his hands into fists. He watched as you took a small bite of your food giving the rest to Eli who was comfortably sitting on your lap, tapping his little hands on the rim of your plate. Other than the fact you broke out such news to him, Nanaba Hange and Erwin and had expressed your fears on informing your significant other, you seemed quite bubbly. Children really did bring out such a soft side of you, he knew that was for sure.

"Hange" you spoke, unphased as ever "Levi's coming please stop screaming at me, i love you but it's only making me dizzy."

It felt as if a thousand pairs of eyes were burning holes through his whole body, his head, and everywhere around his personal space bubble. Levi could feel his pulse tense just a tad, Hange's unnerving gaze and her crippling smile were fixated especially on him, making his nose itchy. There was something very different in the atmosphere around him; Nanaba wasn't eating anymore, she was more fixated on her daughter than anyone else, Erwin was nervously staring between him and you and you and Mike were trying to clean Eli's hands from the food he had just touched. When the scenery wasn't something irregular, none of you dared look eachother in the eyes, beat it that Hange was staring only at him.

"Oi, what the fuck is wrong-"

"Levi, shorty! Does Eli look like he's enjoying himself in (y/n)'s arms?" Hange turned her sweetened gaze on you, making you choke on your words, you shot her an atrociously strict glare. "Remember when Nanaba gave birth? What do you think about babies? Maybe you think they smell a lot? But what about ackerbabies?"

"Way to be discreet Han, thank you!" Your lips puckered in anger as you brought your arms to cross under your chest.

"Wait what's going on shitty glasses?"

"Yada Yada shorty, you're not getting a word from me, my lips are sealed" Hange spoke and shut her eyes to emphasize the significance of her words.

You sighed in a pathetic attempt to relieve some tention of your chest. A tight knot had formed due to anxiety, fog had clouded over your brain and you were feeling so faint and exhausted that you just wanted to get it over with. You didn't mind standing there like a fish out of water after breaking the news to him, the tention in the air was in fact what was making you suffocate in your seat. With wobbly hands you pushed Eli off your lap, not caring about the moan of disagreement he made and you shot up from your seat, announcing you had to take some fresh air. Levi had to stop Nanaba mid tracks to be able to come after you, fast enough to be there when you got out.

Naturally, you stood seated at a bench that neared the restaurant. Your hands were covering your face scratching softly through your hair, probably in attempts to calm your self down. He approached you without any second thought, this time determined to know what was it with you. Your behavior these past week had been unnerving and overly concerning to say the least. Carefully he sat himself down next to you, his right arm come around your frame comfortingly while the left one came to caress underneath your cheek.

"You should probably talk to me."

Your voice came muffled from between your palms as you still hadn't dared to look him in the eye. "Levi, I'm, I'm so sorry it's just... I'm very anxious."

"I think I figured that, brat." His voice was so soothing, it felt as if he was speaking to you in the comfort of your private room, not on a bench outside a semi fancy restaurant

"You know when Hange talked about ackerbabies she uhm, she might have had a particular baby in mind."

Levi blinked erratically for a single second before his mouth, unable to compel to his brain's orders, formed the shape of an oh. Of course, in the moment it was hard to click with any other even but he attributed that to his lack of knowledge over the situation. Had he any clue or suspicion that you could be pregnant he would have been able to realise that it wasn't that your stress had been messing with your stomach every morning and that your extreme fatigue couldn't possible align with the erratically swift rhythm of your palms. Of course, of course it wasn't a thermometer that you had disposed of in the toilet, he wanted to slap himself for being so naive as to believe that. He was strict with recycling rules, you wouldn't have just straight up there s thermometer in the trash. Fuck now's not the time to think about recycling.

With the soft, chaste kiss at the top of your hair you finally decided to turn your gaze to him. Watery eyes met with an adoring grey gaze, a gaze you've never seen at this extreme before. "I love you, you know." Another kiss meant your head got to lift a little more, just to get closer to him. "I don't say it often but you don't have to worry, I'll try to tell our kid more often."

Your eyes shimmered with adoration at his words, despite the cold weather you couldn't bring yourself to feel not even a little tingle, Levi was keeping you so warm with his words. "Really? You want this?"

"Tch why wouldn't I, you thought I'd ever let you go and leave me lonely? I've always thought you knew we're sharing the same future."

Your lips attacked his in fiery passion. It was a natural reaction to his words, an ice melting kiss, a promise for the future. There were many reasons as to why you lived Levi but maybe the fact that you would have a little stoic faced baby running around your feet made you love him a little bit more.

[retiredteabag]

Tea

Pairing: Dabi x reader

Genre: (mainly) fluff

Word count: ...

Synopsis: As a member of the League people would expect your daily life to be busy and dangerous, and while it could be on occasion, that was not the case now. Most days you just enjoy your tea, and that’s okay.

——————————————————————————

The cold passed, as it were, reluctantly, but it passed, and for the first time, in a long time, you went to bed early.

You silently listened to the sound of bubbling, indicating that the water was boiling. You smelt the familiar aroma of singed hair. Your cheap, old and somewhat broken boiler let off that kind of smell, it was… worrying at first but you paid no mind to it now. You hobbled over to your cheap, old, and somewhat broken refrigerator and grabbed the almost empty 2% milk, and set it on your cheap, old and somewhat broken kitchen counter and began to wonder just where You had left the container of honey.

You poured the water into your one, and let it be said, only, plain, white, coffee mug. You don’t drink coffee -didn’t like it- not the smell, the taste, especially not that it could keep you up all night, not even if it was all creamer and sugar.

Though, you did like tea. All your teammates had become accustomed to watching you come to meetings and gatherings with a mug of the stuff. At the hideout, you had several of your favorite teabags and a half gallon of milk. You often had to ward off Compress from drinking all of your good stuff because he also had a inclination towards tea.

By now the bag had steeped long enough, but you left it in. Usually after getting your tea, You would look at your cheap, old, and somewhat broken clock, realize that its only nine, think to yourself that going to bed early wound be unproductive, Shigaraki would scold you for doing nothing with your day and you would groan. You would proceed to find something, anything to do, and occupy yourself with for the next few or so hours. Today, however, was not a usual day.

Fact: You are quite good at making tea. Perhaps it’s the one singular thing that you can’t get totally wrong, maybe that’s why you get so peeved when Dabi or Toga don’t make it for you just right, maybe that’s why you don’t even drink anyone else’s tea. Why you no longer ask them to make it for you. Because at this point in your life, it’s the only thing your allowed to be stingy about. Either way, you have discovered that when you make your tea you ought drink it quickly for fear of it getting cold. So, when you make tea, you have always made it with the intention of the temperature of the liquid to slightly burn, its rather uncomfortable, and that’s why you like it.

You know before it happens, you can hear his footsteps. Running a hand through your hair you bend forward and crack your back.

Dabi walks through the door with no knocking or greeting, “God this place is a dump, maybe try cleaning every so often.” The very first thing out of his mouth.

You roll your eyes and groan. Moment of peace totally ruined.

Ignoring his rude comment you speak, “If your going to send me back to the hideout you better think again, I’m not leaving now, it’s nearly my bedtime.”

His face breaks into a wry smile, “your bedtime?”

With no change in emotion you look up at him, “Yes, and I would most certainly not like to go down to the base to be scolded by ol’ crusty about not putting in enough effort. And for what? We’re not even doing missions now. What would I participate for? The league is practically on hiatus at this point.”

Grabbing a chair you sit, lifting your legs so that one crosses over the other, taking a long sip of your tea you inwardly groan. It’s not hot anymore.

“Well for starters doll, ol’ crusty didn’t send me, second, we’re not on hiatus, we’re just...laying low as it were.” Dabi’s squinting and in the dull light of your apartment you can see him lean back on your counter.

“Why did you come then?” You ask, just then you’ve both silently agreed to not talk about the leagues inactivity, dropping the topic completely. It’s the cool thing about being around someone for so long, you can read them so well.

“Bored.” He simply states.

“Well your wasting my time, and you’ve ruined my tea.” You look down, your hands are starting to grow cold once again, now that your drink is merely warm you have lost a significant amount interest in finishing it.

Having dealt with your pickiness before, having seen you drink your tea every day, he knows how you like it. You know he knows and yet he still can never make it right.

Dabi rolls his eyes into his skull and softly grunts as he lifts himself off your counter, he waltzes over to you and pulls the mug from your grasp. He makes direct eye contact as he tactfully dips one singular finger into your drink. You hold his gaze, not moving an inch. He ignites his finger and before he even places the drink on the counter you know it’s near boiling, the scalding liquid steams and hits your face and you almost, almost grin.

By the time you go to grab the mug and melt in the heat, Dabi is already in your living room (not like it’s far...maybe two steps? Three?) he’s grabbing things and shuffling through your stuff. You pay no mind, who cares if he goes through it? Theres nothing there anyway.

Fifteen minutes go by and you’ve finished your tea, washed the mug and places it in the sink, Dabi is sitting on the musty old couch and holds an unimpressed look on his face. You sit in the space beside him. Grabbing your blanket and curling up.

“Nothings on right now. Your place sucks y/n.”

You mumble a quiet, “mhmm” and lay down into a more comfortable position but just then he gets up.

It’s a little annoying to be honest because Dabi is so naturally warm it’s kinda nice to have him close, but as soon as he’s gone the light flicks off too, then, he’s back and sighing deeply, he pulls you slightly on top of him and pushes his legs in your way. You kick him, obviously. And he flicks your arm. You both eventually just lay there, no words being shared.

Tomorrow is a whole new day, you and the rest of the league will most likely repeat this day’s expectancies, and yeah… tomorrow’s a looming new day but you don’t have to worry about that, not just yet at least. For now, you can just enjoy the fleeting comfort of your warm teammate. Yeah, you do that, for now.

The cold passed, as it were, reluctantly, but it passed, and for the first time, in a long time, you went to bed early…

 ——————————————————————————

Unedited

Hey guys, sorry I was gone for a hot second, classes are a tad bit stressful lately. Dabi has been really high on my favorites list these days and I just felt like I needed to write for him, gimme your thoughts.

[johnnymundano]

Girlhouse (2014)

Directed by Trevor Matthews

Written by Nick Gordon

Music by Tomandandy

Country: Canada

Language: English

Running Time: 100 minutes

CAST

Ali Cobrin as Kylie Atkins

Adam DiMarco as Ben Stanley

Slaine as LoverBoy

James Thomas as Gary Preston

Chasty Ballesteros as Janet

Alice Hunter as Kat

Alyson Bath as Devon

Elysia Rotaru as Heather

Nicole Fox as Mia

Zuleyka Silver as Anna

Erin Agostino as Liz

Wesley MacInnes as Alex

Camren Bicondova as Girl #1

Isaac Faulkner as Young LoverBoy

Girlhouse’s misleading ad image on my streaming content provider (NB: not the poster above) shows some shabby backwoods cathouse about to be laid waste by a maniac who probably smells of unwashed socks, but Girlhouse the movie is in fact a far more polished and modern product. I was hoping for some kind of Tobe Hooper-esque grim lunacy instead I was treated to the most entertaining sociology essay I’ve ever encountered, mostly because sociology essays generally don’t take the form of a movie in which a boiler suited maniac kills his way through a house full of women.

Unlike most slasher flicks what Girlhouse wants to explore is not just the malleability of the human body when exposed to repeated blunt force trauma or the rapid and persistent insertion of sharp objects (although it gleefully explores all that too) but also the possible links between pornography and violence; which was a sticky subject before the Internet sashayed nonchalantly into existence and is now an intellectual tar baby only the hardiest of souls can extricate themselves from with any dignity. So it’s a bold, bold move indeed to make a slasher movie not just about slasher movies (that’s old hat; Scream, Hatchet etc.) but about what slasher movies are about: sex and violence; or more precisely in this particular case the punishing (violence) of moral transgression (pornography).

Does the punishment fit the crime or is the punishment actually the crime, or, wait, is the crime punishment enough, no, maybe the crime creates the punishment? Difficult questions all and if Girlhouse doesn’t answer any of them (unless Girlhouse is itself the answer; maaaybe so) it does at least raise them, which is more than Stab Mask XIII ever will. Crucially for an audience far more likely to be interested in wet work than the soft sciences, Girlhouse is an entertainingly nasty slasher movie in and of itself. Fret not, gorehounds, Girlhouse successfully secretes its brain throbbing questions organically within the slasher movie framework; the framework of a very good, very grisly slasher movie actually. Essentially Girlhouse somehow finds a way to be intelligent while also including an eye watering death by dildo and Clingfilm.

Like all good sociology essays Girlhouse starts with a quote it will address in the main body of what follows. Unlike most sociology essays it’s a quote from Ted Bundy; Ted thinks there’s a link between pornography and violence and Ted, the inference is, should know. Of course, Ted wasn’t the full shilling, so it’s up to the rest of the movie to back up its case. Ali Cobrin plays Kylie Atkins, a wholesomely attractive, intelligent student whose father has recently died leaving the university tuition fees out of her mother’s reach. She hesitantly accepts the lucrative offer from super suave porntropeneur Gary Preston (a well-groomed James Thomas) to become a resident of “Girlhouse”, an on-line real-time upmarket porn site. It’s a high-tech, classy cathouse with web cams in every room, on-line chat rooms and private shows, all basically utilising more technology than took us to the moon so that someone can whack one off. The subscribers to “Girlhouse” run the basic onanistic male range from white collar office man to Chinese laundry owner to furtive teen. Thus far the set-up conforms to the “no one is getting hurt” argument, even Kylie accepts of her own free will, and it’s all in a good cause; paying to educate the head on her commodified bod. Kylie and the girls are being exploited of course, but it’s such a civilised sort of exploitation, why, it seems almost churlish to object.

It is of course still exploitation, the grotty reality overlaid with a load of glibly seductive shuck and jive. Seductive enough to attract a paying audience which, alas, includes “Loverboy” (musician Slaine; very good); this being his login name rather than evidence of a cruelly ironic parental exercise in naming. While Loverboy remains content to watch his worst impulses are kept in check, but unfortunately Loverboy has some pretty bad worst impulses. The worst in fact, as we see at the start of the movie and also in a powerful interlude at Loverboy’s work which addresses the “asking for it” bullshit head on. Even if a woman is flashing her knick-knacks, your reaction is your responsibility; sorry, guys, but no one said being civilised was easy. Tough titty. The only time a woman is “asking for it” is when she is asking for it. Like the ladies in “Girlhouse”? No. Because “Girlhouse” (the site) is a fantasy. The women are being paid to “ask for it”. Which is fine, fantasy has its place; well, it’s fine as long as no one mistakes fantasy for reality. Unfortunately Loverboy makes this mistake. Ironically it’s Kylie’s sincerity which tips him over the edge. Unused to actual, genuine interaction Loverboy stops watching and starts interacting. With wholly regrettable results for many of the women.

Of course, once Loverboy enters the fantasy of “Girlhouse” the subscribers are no longer watching “Girlhouse” but they are now watching Girlhouse, along with the viewer. Because, obviously, Girlhouse is another fantasy but a very different one to “Girlhouse”, because killing the girls is Loverboy’s real fantasy. The movie has a lot of dark fun in this latter part as Loverboy stalks the girls using the interactive “Girlhouse” app on his phone, and the users (how apt) watch first in puzzled disbelief and then horrified alarm. Some of them even stop fapping. Reality isn’t what they paid for, after all. Girlhouse the movie adroitly and innovatively uses the surveillance devices of “Girlhouse” to fine effect, ramping up the suspense and punching home the horror as it tears away the veil and reveals harmless voyeurism as just another form of stalking.

Girlhouse, both the site and the movie, is slicker than snot on a doorhandle but not slick enough to hide the horror beneath. The movie starts off with a child murder, not a quick off-screen one either and then works hard to wipe it from your mind with a smooth, extended middle part field with clean, beautiful people expressing only the mildest of concerns about the apparently harmless men’s magazine lifestyle section they inhabit. It’s all good, clean, sexy fun. But all the time, at the back of your mind, scratching away like a inbred relative at an attic door should be that early child murder where someone learned a lot of wrong lessons about sex and violence. And in Girlhouse those lessons get put into practice. How was your schoolin’, bubba?

[randomliven]

Warning extra long post

COMPLETE EPISODE SPOILER

Ep3. Holy Ghost

My fav ep

Edit: adding rewatch x2

*Opening at Uncs funeral. Leti is just numb.

*1955

*3people broke in

*white people always watching

*Leti owe Ruby money

(Tho leti didnt tell Ruby where the money came from, in ep 1 she said she wanted a house for them)

*our house

* riot after negro couple moves in

13rooms. Safe haven

*Im about to apply to marshal fields again, i need to perfect my resume

* Could be a chance for us to bond as sister

* im taking the biggest room

*Has an elevator

*Almost decapitates her

*Hyp starts to rip uncs fav book

Just numb

*Dee almost sets up her dads place mat

*Hyp flips the 2nd cup back down like unc did

*Its been weeks

*Tic Checks on drunk daddy

*He sees the count book next to moms pic

* tic "I got ya kid" throws water on montrose face.

Ive heard about it so much, i even dreamed i was there with you.

LOOK AT MONTROSE FACE

Unc always told the story of the mysterious stranger

(Tic did kno about the story) (tho rose never told the story, tic already knew it)

*yellow

Is rose just a drunk or does he drink for a reason

*They lied to hyp

*White folk got magic on they side Too

* hippolyta cant do shit

*Tic reacts to roses anger

*Colored elevator repair men are hard to find

*Baldwin

The lady in the room who says dance studio (she prob somebody)

*Moving in on a sunday while everyone at church

*hit the numbers

*Three weeks after uncs funeral

*Tic going back to florida

"Told my boss i i would be gone a couple days, that was a month ago"

(Tic DID HAVE a JOB)

*The white folk starts the horns (the three

*Police just pass by like they see nothing

(Sooo that shit didnt irritate the other white neighbors who had to also deal with it)

A whole nother day with the horns

Them hands. That face. Who ever did that application

*Black granny...

We fear them but they are warning us

*The boiler over heating

*Black folk dont go exploring thumps in the basement

*Bare traps. Bird cage. Anatomy doll

Leti brave as Fuc, watching that thing bump

*calls tic

I believe you but i say its the neighbors

(Panic room) cant hear anything. Theres also a drain.

Same tactics used in north korea.

Micheal "he go by Martin now"

He was dating. White woman, made him marry a colored one.

Ruby in red.. (Christina in red)

Black folk love to feed the depressed

Unc always left the cups down

Just being foolish

Black folk dont play with oojuie board

" will i have a good trip" "no"

George is dead

Hyp hears whispers from the oracial

Tree lies about being with leti

Tic being staying rent free

Bruh you was about to leave

"Is you or is you aint my baby"

Them nostrils flaring

"Jus wanted to feel something"

Lost her virginity during a party on the bathroom sink

Leti cries.

"If more colored folk thought like me"

Burning a cross in the yard

*Leti is Over It All

*Black men unite and protect

*Sirens

*Throws the bat

*Ruby knows to take the guns

*Cover leti

*Drop to they knees

*Lancaster takes leti

Got all these complaints from the neighbor

But none from leti. 21 times

*Lancaster starts to ask about what leti knows about the house, cuz he knows its background.

*Start throwing her around the car

We found the body parts of 8 nigg buried in the basement.

Leti puts the pieces together

White demon

Sees the connection

Installment contact

Still got some of the money mama left

Least mama didnt pretend

"Look out for leti first "

Thought you were a fuck up but really you were just qfucked up

Hyp got a womans intuition

Leti connects the dots

Tic like ok

Experimenting on humans

Lancaster kidnapping black folk for Epstein

(Love how they believed)

I needed to feel something

Monsters. Spells. Georges death. I died too.

Stake my claim in it

The white folk always watching

Black folk can use magic too

Protect yo house

Mama was a hustler who believed in during her research

White boys breaking in

White boys go into the room where the oracial was

Chanting in Creole

Fuc yo protection

Possession

Just EVERYTHING about the scene

YOU ARE NOT DEAD YET

Together we ARE STRONG

(JOURNEE did that)

Leti gives Ruby the recognition of inspiration

"Have you heard about your three neighbors who have went missing?"

The fresh bodies in the tunnel... Plenty bones

Does leti know or naw?

Tic seeing Xtina at the realtor..

Realizes tina is behind it all.

Tina looks kinda nervous

(I dont think she has the mark of caine yet)

Invulnerability.

The language of adam "ability to name"

(Did he plan to like shoot her for real)

Power play (opening the window)

Wanna kno more just call