#theres so many things i wanna make long posts about but i should really rewatch arcane to do so

[needtobehisprettyboy]

Wanna make another headcanon/scene analysis post 😋😋

[speakyskelly-1999]

omg hiyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

fancing meeting you here

errr yea sooooo

i'm putting this here so i'll remember/forget

cos like really i should make a note of this but i was having ideas so here

anime i need to review: plus bonus content if you make it to the end]

spoilers ahead btw

anime i#ve finished: lets go

eva rebuild moves, will probaly do as one thing maybe. should i also do the show, yes, should i rewatch the show and the films and then these films to do a good review, yes. will i, probably weirdly cos i wanna rewatch the show. do i have the time to do this, not really. will i do it anyway, yea eventually but like i wanna watch more anime

perfect blue, this is heavy, very heavy, i thurouly enjoyed it. idk if i will do this one. i don't know what i could say about it what someone before me has probably already said about it so errr here 10/10, hard watch but very well exicuted, woudl recomend if you can stomach that sort of thing (no shame on epopel who can#t it's a lot don't worry)

ehehehe ghost stories hehehehe

the masterful cat is depressed again today. i don't have much to say bout this. it was fun and charming and also reused animetion a lot which isn't inherently bad, 7/10

The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady, yes i copy and pased the title it's long. errrr 3/10 don't wanna give it it's own post. i didn't like how it ended. in my eyes it weirdly falls under the sad lesbian period piece trope. not exactly cos it's fantasy but after the enevts of the show one of them will forever be sad basically. it's dumb and it annoys me

all the lupin films i binged over christmas. errrrrr i'll do a lupin master post thing once i've done all of it maybe. theres a lot of lupin and i really like it. i could review everything seperatly but like god. so many thoughts. i'll make a ppt one day and just like upload the slides to a tumblr post and that'll be it maybe. or i do write seperate review, post them all and then make a master post (includiung like charater analyses and part analysis, you see hoqw this is a lot, but i'd do it for the monkey man)

my new boss is goofy

spy x family season 2 part 1

mashle season 1 (might just wait till season 2 is finished and then do a double billing)

lucky star (yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy)

anime i'm watching rn:

nichijou (i did not start this 4 years ago what are you on)

serial experiment lain (it's heavy i'm sorry, it's easier to watch a heavy film in one go, i'll get there eventually)

revolutionary girl utena (i'm now watching that with a friend sooooo it's gonna take a while)

sousou no frieren (AAAAAAAAAAAH hehehehe)

cherry magic (i'll do it once it's finsihed and omg i have thoughts cos i watch the live action show)

dungeon meshi (i wouldn't eat that food)

mushishi

boo cat

surprise bitches i started watching films again so errrrrrr

films i need to review: imma be selective btw i have like 541 films i've watched i ain't doing them all

disney (errrrrrrrrrr imma take a rain check on that one chief that i whole thing)

12 angry men (thoes men were angry)

singing in the rain

an american in paris (there is no fanfiction of it on ao3, its so sad)

cherry magic (i've not watched the film yet but like i will for the whole cherry magic review, will i read the manga for it as well, maybe)

i'll probably get more films i have to do cos i like watching films again

so yea

willl i remember this list

fuck knows

goodnight tristate area

i'm so tired

[stanharu]

beastars episode 24 thoughts!

this post got kinda long i have Many Thoughts on this one

Overall I had fun watching this ep but I could really tell it was rushed and there was so much that got cut, which makes me super sad. our fears about the finale having pacing issues due to all the added scenes & rearranging were confirmed & it rly sucks, but i'll elaborate more on that in a bit.

this week's ep covered the end of chapter 92, chapters 93-97, and included small bits of chapters 98 & 99.

so the ep starts with the ED and the latter part of the tunnel scene with ibuki and louis. i liked the visual effect they used to show that they were in the dark. louis' voice acting was also On Point. for the most part i think this scene was done pretty well but I can tell it's being rushed also. I really wish we got more buildup and narration instead of just jumping straight to ibuki telling louis to shoot him. the way it is in the anime feels less impactful imo.

also im sad we didnt get to see this in the anime

before i move on, i wanna talk a bit about louis and his relationship w/ the shishigumi and ibuki. i feel like in the anime quite a few of the lil moments that really endear you to the shishigumi and also ibuki were either cut or kinda glossed over, which is strange to me considering how much effort and care went into the ED. it's very emotional and good but i feel like maybe anime onlies are missing out only seeing the anime and the MV. but idk.

legosi and riz's fight was quite rushed as well. there's so much narration and dialogue missing from it and that really rubs me the wrong way. It wasn't all bad but compared to the manga I just don't think it's as good. I will say tho that I really liked the sequence w legosi and the moths. I thought it looked really nice and was pretty well done.

also i liked how the backgrounds had some anti-yahya graffiti, its a nice touch imo

it says "high quality horse meat"

I was happy to see legosi do the "tell me more" pose but I'm honestly disappointed that the anime took out the whole exposition about why legosi did it. like i feel like without that it's just legosi being weird when he has a reason for it!!! This is just one example of the anime taking out crucial narration during the fight.

I also think it's kinda weird how they changed how louis shows up at the fight. im not sure how i feel about riz just charging at him like that, but i liked how legosi kicked him before they ran lol.

i dont have much to say about pina's small scene but I did wanna say that during my first watch thru of the ep i was too distracted trying to read the graffiti behind him that i didn't notice him getting his phone out of the dumpster and calling the cops lmao

it says "devour yahya"

and now... here we are... the predation scene.

overall i thought it was pretty well done but, like the rest of the ep, i could tell it was also being kinda rushed. some important beats werent given enough time to really sink in, and there's a few bits of narration taken out of this part as well that i find disappointing :^(

tho i did like how the anime called back to this scene in s1 when legosi mentions utilizing his strength.

also this part where louis is remembering ibuki had me like😭

I also really liked seeing louis cry. I was crying too sjdflskjdflsjkdf. i thought that scene was really good, its prolly my favorite part of the ep tbh. getting to hear the whole predation scene voiced made me kind of a mess lol. i really liked louis' expressions throughout this whole ep too. studio orange used their whole louis expression budget on these last 2 eps lmao.

seeing legosi instantly get all beefed up was great too. he looked a little ridiculous but i kinda loved it lol. he's so huge and poofy. i love him.

big pomeranian

anyway, im also sad they took out louis' line about being reduced to a flashback character lol. instead he tells legosi "be a hero" again which... im not sure about that change. i liked the part with riz thinking back about tem tho. tho imo the way riz realizes he's in the wrong feels pretty sudden. again adding to how rushed the whole ep feels.

before i move on again i just wanna say legosi looks so cute. even all puffed up and covered in blood. how does he do that

baby boy baby. i wanna ruffle his cheek floofs.

i think one of the things im most disappointed about from this whole ep was how the fight got wrapped up. i really like how the cops show up and totally shift the tone in the manga jslkdfjskljdf. im also really sad we didnt get this interaction

tthe anime really took out most of the sillier moments from the finale, which makes me pretty sad to think about. i know the anime and manga have different tones but pls let the boys be silly sometimes!!

the next part where legosi and louis finally establish their friendship was really cute tho ❤️ even tho it was pretty different i enjoyed it a lot.

BABIESSSS 🥺😭❤️❤️

the wrap-up for this arc and this episode gave me whiplash sdjlfkjsdf. it literally speedruns thru legosi's predation conviction, being released, louis & haru's graduation, and legosi deciding he's going to drop out of school. that is SO MUCH AT ONCE. also i was holding out hope that legosi would have his new years call with haru after the fight instead but that didnt happen!! so it just got cut!!! kinda mad about that tbh. legosi and haru having a lil scene at the very end made up for it a lil bit but that's still one of haru's few moments in this arc that's just not included.

we didnt even get the part wher legosi learns he can't marry haru bc of his conviction.

ive been really hoping for a season 3 announcement once this season ended. with all the background allusions to yahya, the added plot point of someone stealing elephant tusks, and sebun and melon's lil cameos in this season, it seemed to me that studio orange was kinda teasing a 3rd season. but now, with the dismissive way the anime ended, and paru's note from earlier today, im less sure about the possibility of a 3rd season. i'd still like to see the rest of the series animated, but i guess we'll just have to wait and see if more anime is announced in the future.

if we do get another season in the future i just hope that we swing back around and actually address the things that got completely glossed over in the last couple minutes of this episode instead of charging forward w/o touching them again.

i really think the finale for this arc should've been two episodes at least. not including the tunnel scene. i think then things wouldn't have felt so rushed. people have been saying this season really would have benefitted from at least 1 extra episode and i cant help but agree. some have even suggested a whole 24 episodes just for this arc, but i think that this arc couldve been done properly with 12 or 13 episodes if there was some better prioritizing on what to include and what to cut.

like i dont mind not getting the parts about legosi's family if they can be addressed somehow in a future season (or if theres no more future anime seasons thats a plot thread that doesnt have to be worried about). i could have lived w/o seeing sheila & peach's chapter animated if it meant more time for the focus of this arc. and was the kangaroo red herring really necessary?

adaptation wise, i dont think this season was as good as the first. i still think it did fairly well, but i know that it could have been much better. ive been excited to watch this season with my friends once the dub releases, but now im wondering if i should just tell them to read the manga instead. sighs idk. perhaps it comes thru better as a bingewatch, or perhaps im being a bit too harsh. idk. at some point ill do a rewatch and see how i feel about the season as a whole, but that wont be for a while.

if you've read this far, thanks for reading my ramblings!! it's been fun to make these posts every week and im gonna miss getting new episodes every week.

[dead-ghouls]

Theres no way that i could ask for a break down of what you see in his ftes in ask format is is there?? I already love korekiyo, but I'm really curious about what you have to say.

I can do that! The only thing is that most of what he says I’ll be quoting from memory, but direct quotes can be found in his FTEs and in-game dialogue on wiki. I’ll do my best to provide as many screenshots as I can, but I doubt I will be able to find all, it’s a very long process and I dont have the whole day.V3 spoilers below, ofc. Also TW various types of abuse, you know the drill if you played the game. Long post!Let’s start from what we know about Korekiyo. What makes him Korekiyo, what makes him stand out, what’s special about him. 

- Unique outfit- Long hair- His deep knowledge of anthropology- His interest in occult/speaking to the dead- His deep relationship with death, grief and how he looks at it- His love for ropes- Being a serial killer

Now let’s break down every trait he has and where it comes from.

Unique outfit

FTE 3, he tells us his sister made it for him to suit her tastes, claiming his school uniform doesnt suit him.

Long hairI don’t remember if it was mentioned in-game, but it was mentioned in V3 manga anthology, that his long hair is a memento to his sister, since she had long hair, so he refuses to cut it. It is stated that events of manga obviously not canon, but I dont think this claim was outside of his canon characterisation. 

His deep knowledge of anthropology

In the same FTE he mentions that Sister was the one who “pushed him to research as much as he could”

His interest in occult/speaking to the dead + his relationship with death and griefI dont think i gotta find proof for that, he mentioned travelling looking to speak to the dead, the whole ch 3 with Caged Child + he mentioned having near-death experience after a seanse (see next bullet point), and that’s how his Sister came to him.He speaks about human mortality and coming to terms with it, but he himself cant do that. 

He doesnt fear death, maybe he even seeks it - to reunite with his Sister [cut to him enduring his execution and seeing his spirit happy and free, ready to meet her] but no way he could properly cope with human mortality and his own grief. That’s where all the occult stuff comes in - him telling how he tried so many things and how nothing worked (?). He says it during ch3 investigation, if you wanna look for a direct quote. Him being into occult, speaking with the dead, being possessed by his Sister - all of it is just his ways of coping with loss. He was very dependant on her (I’ll talk about it more below) and couldnt stand being alone.

His love for ropesOf course it can be a kinky thing but also look closely at this exchange:

This incident with ropes is what actually ended up “reuniting” him with his Sister. Of course he’d hold a special interest to this kind of activity after. 

Being a serial killerWell this one is obvious. Who did he kill? Girls. Why did he do it? To bring friends to his Sister. Simple as that.

Now look back at every bullet point and tell me: do you see a pattern? Yep, every aspect of his life, likes, personality, experiences, even his looks - it all traces back to his Sister. Controlling what he wears, what he does, what he likes; even after her death he is deeply affected and is devoted to doing everything in her name. Now try to recall one single thing about Korekiyo that wasn’t his Sister influence. Something he likes maybe? Something he enjoys on his own free time? Even his official dislike is a reference to a gift you might give in-game, an air refreshener that exorcises ghosts [He believes that he is possesed]. All I can think of is him telling he prefers green tea over black in one of FTEs. Korekiyo that we see and interact with in game isn’t his own person, just a reflection of grief, his Sister wants and needs. His whole existence is just a devotion to his late Sister, and it was the same way when she was alive.

Sister’s personality

From what I mentioned you should already hear the faint bells ringing in your head. “Pushed me to study” “Told me my uniform doesnt suit me” “I will kill people because her spirit told me to”He respected her, depended on her a lot. No shit, Sherlock - he was his Older Sibling. A side note, he never mentioned anyone else from his family, only said that they “had to hide their relationship from others” once. Sadly, I cant remember where it was said. No matter if he had any family present or not (having no family would worsen the case, but with family present its still fucked up) he still depended on her a lot, maybe considered her a parental figure, or at the very least - a role model. Korekiyo’s analysis on youtube brings up a very valid point - anthropology couldve been her passion as well, she just couldnt actually fullfill it because of the sickness. Explains her “pushing” him to research it.Basically we have an older sibling holding power over a younger sibling, presumably, from a younger age. More of her personality and influence can be seen in his trial. “You mustnt lose composure, you mustnt become flustered, you mustnt waver”Im linking this bit, but I strongly recommend rewatching the full version where his Sister appears. She appears to be his guardian, keeping him in check, making him act right. Telling him what to do and how to act. She appears in moments of distress when he needs comfort. He depends on her, he listens, he does everything she tells him to. Im not gonna get into the whole tulpa thing, so if youre not on board with it, I recommend reading into it more, even wiki has a brief explanation. Basically this possession is just his mind, but it does hold her true personality. So Sister is: assertive, calm, plays a role of guardian, has power over Korekiyo due her age, his respect and dependance on her, probably her being his parental figure. 

Now tell me, how this power dynamic could be healthy, consensual and (a very popular opinion in the fandom) this relationship was started from Korekiyo’s advances? How a younger sibling, that was so dependant and devoted could be in a consensual relationship with his older sibling that always tells him what to do?Korekiyo was groomed, he’s a victim. Most people in fandom hate him for being creepy and a sister-banging freak, because he doesn’t fit your cookie-cutter perseption of abuse victims. Everyone thinks that abuse victims only come in “i hate my abuser, i am currently away from them and i am healing” package. Korekiyo was never given a chance to realize it was wrong, he never got a chance to heal. He was groomed, abused, used and forced into relationship. Told that it was secret and sacred, that theyre breaking the boundaries, that’s why he mustnt tell anyone about it. Of course he believed her - its his Sister. She convinced him that his love and dependance on her was romantic/sexual love.

The same analysis brings up a good point of his Sister guilt tripping him because of her illness. Never getting a chance for romantic love, never getting a chance to make friends.

What breaks my heart is that after all of this, after devoting his life to his Sister, studying what she wanted, wearing what she wanted, killing for her sake and even being executed because of her - he says that he wasn’t enough.

TLDR - Their power dynamic is very obvious from his FTEs and the trial, he was clearly groomed and abused, never got to recover from her manipulations. And fandom either fetishisizes their relationship, excusing their nasty kinks by saying it was consensual, or hates him because they never took the time to analyze the content. He was abused, he was manipulated, god knows what else was done to him when she was alive, and he died driven to insanity, full of grief devoted to his Sister and blaming himself for not being enough. As a side-note: it is completely okay being uncomfortable with his character/everything that happened in ch3. You dont owe anyone interacting with the piece of media depicting such topics. Your comfort and safety comes first. Kodaka is a shitty fucking writer. What is not okay is hating a character for being a victim. 

I probably missed a lot, my brain is very disorganized, so feel free to ask more questions/add your own opinion. 

[starlightshore]

im kinda want to get into this sort of thing so is it okay to ask u a few questions? if not just delete this, but here goes? would u reccomend game maker studio 2, and how hard is it to use in ur opinion? and is there anything u wish u knew at the beginning of making ur fangame?

aw anon you’re so sweet! don’t worry about asking about this, its really exciting to make games and trying new things! i would not say i’m an expert, and i wouldn’t even say i know gml like. at all. i just understand a how the code is used, but now what the code itself is or what to type exactly. like, i understand the theory more so than actually doing it. which is, eh, fine? i’m getting by, and i’m still learning. i’ve only been using gms 2 for 2 months now.

also, i’m using a fangame engine! i feel its kinda like cheating lmao, but its just meant to be a framework to build your own thing off of. and i still need to learn gms2 to use it, and i plan on doing more advanced and complicated things (ie: changing how battles even work structurally.) so. i’m not good at gsm2 yet, but uh, really once you understand coding its not any harder than i’d imagine w/ other professional game engines. compared to unity, i like this better because it seems built on the idea of making 2d sprite games. its SO much more simpler and the userface (while. i’m not a fan of how it has its workspace but whatever) is simple and easy to grasp.

i can’t say for certain if i recommend game maker. its very pricey and doesn’t go on sale often. (big sales i mean, it goes on 15% somewhat frequently) i really, really recommend doing your research first. 

so here i talk about what game engines i’ve used over the last year. (also i hear Godot is good!)

at the end of that post i said this: “TLDR; figure out what kind of game and story you want to tell/make. i could of saved a year’s worth of work if i just sat myself down and realized i wanted to make a completely new fangame separate from my old blog stuff. and that i wanted to make an rpg specifically.“

and so! past me has good advice. figure out the scope and what story do you want to tell. with AL, I know it has 2 chapters, and rn i’m only concentrating on chapter 1. chp 1 has 7 nights and one area where you fight enemies. its very story/character driven and is more so like. a deconstruction of the rpg genre than an actual rpg game. (i know that the word deconstruction is over used as hell, but it is what this is.)

it builds off the themes of the original, while focusing on things that i want to focus on and develop. ut, at it’s heart, is about stories and grief, i’m just taking it to a different extreme and angle.

uh, anyway, i really wish i knew what i wanted to make and understood the source material more and what i wanted to make. i’ve. thought really really hard over what UT means, what message toby was trying to convey, how he did it and what I thought about it. understanding what YOU want from and for your project is the most important thing. WHY do you want to make this? WHAT do you want people to feel and think about when playing? or even, after playing? it doesn’t have to be super deep either.

so, figure out what you what to make, and then you can work on the how. really plan your story, but honestly i wouldn’t recommend planning it in super big details right off. also, super helpful to have a friend help you brainstorm and plot check things for you. (shout out to my friend the sniffer <3 ilu) its a fun bonding activity, having someone else there will put things into perspective and help things become coherent, and its just. legit so fun and rewarding.

anyway, don’t plan things TOO detailed because things are GOING to change no matter how well you plan! just try to get get an outline done, then rewrite it 5 more times and then MAYBE you’ll be ready to tackle a more detailed version. then write it 5 more times. i can’t stress enough how important planning is, and how you shouldn’t expect everything to work out even on draft 10! things will work, and when they do, draft 10 is going to look like bad awful nonsense cause you’re at draft 20 now and everything is much more coherent and better. games aren’t written or consumed all at once on the fly. its not a piece of fanart, a fanfic, a comic. its not updated more than once. its out, and then its just out. plan for it.

and real quick, don’t worry about art assets! depending on how you do the art, that’s most likely going to change and its going to be polished LAST. i could go more into how you should think of art when game developing, but thats another topic. just. honestly use shitty art assets and worry about it later.

kris’ place holder sprite for deltarune ^ it don’t need to be pretty, it needs to be practical.

second advice: start SMALL!!! i feel i should of done this, and frankly i probably will have to sit down and do this lmao, basically, you should make boring small games to learn the basics. I know, i know, nobody really wants to recreate asteroid when you got big ideas of making stories and animations u wanna make. but like. you really need to figure out how the program works and how the code works in theory and practice.

ok so like, think of coding like this. i got this from a skillshare video series, so uh. i’m going to retell this but in a shittier and likely less nuanced way. sorry

ok so imagine. you’re telling this guy who is trying to get to Gary’s house. now, Gary’s house is just down the road, few houses down, now, you can tell this guy that and he’ll likely find the house just fine. but if you’re telling a robot it’s not going to understand what “down the road” means. what road? how long? it needs instructions that are simple and work in a language it understands.

so you tell the robot “go down two houses, stop at sign until x seconds pass, turn right, go forward 1 house, turn ect. stop at house, ring doorbell. IF Gary answers, go inside; ELSE: do not go inside, wait;

so this what i mean by understanding the theory behind the code rather than the code itself. yes there’s complexities and differences in each language, but they’re ALL based on the same concepts. different program languages are less like different speech languages, but rather different dialects of the same. (uh, like us english vs uk english) its just different rules and “spellings” of the same core concepts.

next advice: don’t be afraid to ask for help! but also! do so within reason! if people are OPEN for helping, be sure do so in the right environment and within what time works for them. compensate people for the time and effort if you can. ALWAYS try to figure out the solution yourself first. often with coding, it can be a simple solution that you could of thought of yourself if you took the initiative to. google is your friend, youtube is your friend! (ok, youtube isn’t, but in this case! yes!) the answer might not always be easy to find, and its perfectly fine to look for help but its good to at least try on your own first!

speaking of which! LEARN LEARN LEARN! be ready to devote A LOT of time to watching and reading about game development. this goes to every game making program, not just gms2. i watch. so many videos on gms. i rec having the video play at 1.5x or 2x speed to cut down time. obvs you still need to retain the information, so speed might be not a good idea then. and its REALLY GOOD to pause and type out the code and follow along. but its also good to just understand the concepts, and theres no harm in rewatching once you’ve understood it  better at a different speed.

things WILL click and work out for you, and its going to be a very time consuming and long journey to get there. i LOVE making this game and telling this story but I also had no idea what i was getting into! and i probably will have more advice once i’m further in, (i’ve only used gms 2 for 2 months!) but thats the best i can say for now! i hope you pursue your dreams and start making things!!! you can do it!!! 

the best time to start is yesterday, the second best time is right now! even if you put a little effort into it everyday, you’ll  build up progress and you can learn SO MUCH over time and theres this whole world of possibilities out there! the world NEEDS your story and your perspective, and i think creating it in anyway you can is necessary for humanity! your work will mean something to someone someday, and i am so excited for you to start your journey!

[violentviolette]

@starrystarberry tumblr fucked up and deleted ur ask cause i tried to switch over from mobile to my laptop to answer it so im just making a post lol

also it got a little long so i stuck it under a read more for u guys who arent into seeing fandom stuff on here

oh man okay I'll try to not write a novel for each of these lmfao

Lucio

Why I like them: hes a cocky bastard but also a giant idiot

Why I don’t: theres actually nothing I don't like about him akshsgsj like yea I know he imprisoned Asra's parents and made him an orphan at like 6 and everything but who hasnt made a mistake or two in their life?

Favorite season/movie: from what we have of his route so far I really like book 9: the hermit. it's got a lot of good hurt/comfort and that's my shit

Favorite episode (scene if movie): I'm a sucker for the steamy scenes so probably the makeout session in the winter woods

Favorite line: honestly all of them anything out of lucios mouth is gold

OTP: ME lmfao but no for real the mc in the game i dont think lucio is right for any of the characters even if i do ship him and julien for the angst

Favorite outfit: i actually really love his piratey outfit he wears in the flashbacks before he lost his arm.

Brotp: Julien 100%

Head Canon: i dont really have any for him

Unpopular opinion: Lucio is a switch and a service top the only True Top in this game is Nadia and i will die on that hill

A wish: none really, im happy with his route and where its been going and im excited to see the end of it!

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I really hope his reverse ending is something other than him dying

5 words to best describe them: angry bratty baby boy

My nickname for them: baby boy

Light Yagami

Why I like them: cause he was one of the first really good protagonists whose actually the villian of the story and i love that shit

Why I don’t: Light drinks his own cool aid and is way to arrogant and i cant stand that. hes very much a holden caufield type character and i absoutely hate those

Favorite season/movie: i liked the anime but i only watched it once when it was airing and i never saw any of the movies so i dont know.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): same as above, this is making me think i should toss it in my que and do a rewatch. hmmm

Favorite line:ah man, i dont actually remember any but im sure its something gay

OTP: Light x a therapist

Favorite outfit: doesnt he only have one? that ugly ass tan suit or some variation of? lol

Brotp: light & ryuuk i loved their dynamic

Head Canon: none, i was never super invested enough in death note to have head canons

Unpopular opinion: none that i can think of, tho its probably somthing about misa lol

A wish: none

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: honestly the live action netflix adaptation already exists so like it cant get any worse

5 words to best describe them: someone id never wanna date

My nickname for them: bitch boy

Shaoran Li

Why I like them: omfg i LOVE shaoran cause hes just such a good boy? he tries so hard and he cares so much and he just wants to protect the world and its adorable

Why I don’t: theres genuinely nothing i dont like about Li

Favorite season/movie: while im loving blushy sweet shy Li in the new clear clard arc, i have a soft spot for angry sassy Li who was competing against sakura in season 1

Favorite episode (scene if movie): the episode with the tree and the time card

Favorite line: i dont think i have one

OTP: i mean is this even a question? sakura all the way

Favorite outfit: i lovelovelove his green fighting robes

Brotp: him and tomoyo being #Teamsakura all day every day together is the best thing

Head Canon: none really

Unpopular opinion: what even is an unpopular cardcaptor sakura opinion??

A wish: clear card anime s2 where are u????

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: i dunno, this series never betrays me so i dont have many fears

5 words to best describe them: strong brave and loyal boy

My nickname for them: i like to call him Li tho thats not rly a nickname

Haruka Tennoh

Why I like them: oh man. i was in. fucking. love. with Haruka as a young tiny queer. i love everything about her

Why I don’t: there is nothing not to love

Favorite season/movie: their original appearance arc is my fav so S

Favorite episode (scene if movie): the one in crystal where she kisses Usagi

Favorite line: i mean the obvious one is “does it really matter if im a man or a woman” because enby rights but also i fucking love every bit of sass ridden dialog between her and Seiya

OTP: Uranus and Neptune are soulmates and thats that on that

Favorite outfit: oh man she had so many Iconic Looks but im gonna have to give it to her racing gear.

Brotp: I love her and Mars as brotp’s dont ask me to explain it lol

Head Canon: nothing like substatial or series just stupid/crack personality ones

Unpopular opinion: none i dont think? again i dont even know if ive ever really heard an “unpopular opinion” for her

A wish: more crystal before im 90 pls

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: i mean once again the dub and the cousins sitation already exists so ive lived my nightmare. because framing them as incestuous cousins is somehow better than letting them be gay

5 words to best describe them: a gay enby queen

My nickname for them: my wife

[wenightmareyou]

7 (topic: vampires), 18, and 22 (gotta know)

angelica!! ty friend ✨

7. opinion on vampires

if any vampire is looking for a human to quarantine with they should know i’m available any time 👀🩸 lmao i decided post-finals i’m gonna rewatch all of carmilla and its whats getting me through this weekend, i also really really wanna make a uquiz on which obscure twilight character you are because i have so many *ideas* i just need the time/ability to sit still long enough to do it!!! its so satisfying having all of the obsessive twilight knowledge i learned during my middle school twilight phase finally have a purpose lol

18. rant about your favorite musician

i’m v torn between brendon urie or taylor swift with this one but i’m gonna go w brendon! he’s amazing and i’m so happy he’s been branching out over the last few years and doing new things like broadway and doing that song for frozen 2 and really leaning into the pop/jazzy style he’s been doing since death of a bachelor. i saw a post yesterday talking about how bland his music is now and i really really want to know if that persons listened to literally anything else besides high hopes from pray for the wicked because idk whats bland about king of the clouds, dying in la, the overpass, or basically anything else from that album??? and besides doab slaps too, I feel like people just miss the old panic which is fair but also brendon’s music for panic now is Not Bad At All, it slaps. also shddkfkcjs i literally just went off about cancel culture etc in my last ask and yeAH i KNOW brendon says dumb things sometimes, believe me ive seen what feels like every call out post theres been about him and ik i dont agree with everything he’s said but it also seems like an overreaction to cancel out all the ways his music helped me as a teenager because he said something dumb or that i wish he wouldn’t have. like he’s definitely not perfect but its not like any celebrity or person is so i wish people wouldn’t hate him so much also maybe i’m just love him

22. if you could see any concert tonight what would you choose?

i’m definitely with you on wanting to see lorde rn, like i need to have all of melodrama injected into my blood at the moment but if i cant do that than hearing lorde sing it live would be the next best thing

i’d also want to see mcr though 🥺

[head-and-heart]

Unnecessary Bellarke Moments - Season 4

Hey fam! So last hiatus (The Dark Times), I created a post to give our fandom a little bit of hope that basically pointed out every single Bellarke moment in the first three seasons of The 100 that served absolutely no plot purpose besides pushing the Bellarke Agenda™ (you can view it here). The idea of the post was basically just to point out the VAST number of Bellarke moments that simply would not exist if canon!Bellarke wasn’t actually in the cards for later seasons. 

The idea was brought to me a little while ago (I don’t remember by who, unfortunately) to recreate that post, except this time pointing out all the unnecessary Bellarke moments of Season 4. So that’s basically what this post is.

If you’re interested in seeing just how Extra these two lovesick idiots truly are when it comes to each other and how full of shit the cast/Jason are when they say it was “never planned”  feel free to continue under the cut.

1. 4x01

“Thank you, for keeping me alive.”

So I just rewatched this scene and boy is it SO not subtle … at all? Like the music starts swelling with the super romantic Bellarke theme and then THIS line happens and theres NO REASON FOR IT. I mean, objectively, Abby and Murphy kept Clarke alive more directly. And technically Bellamy wasn’t the only fighting to protect her either, so - reasonably, if this is really SO platonic - then why didn’t she thank anyone else like this?

We all know why.

“ECHO, LET HER GO!” Bellamy appearing out of nowhere and charging angrily to save Clarke the love of his life.

This scene cracks me up because like … why is Bellamy here? They literally had Bellamy walk off-screen earlier to do … nothing … just so he could charge dramatically in when he see’s that Clarke is in trouble. AND THERE’S NO POINT OF OF HIM EVEN BEING IN THIS SCENE EXCEPT TO GET WORRIED ABOUT CLARKE. That’s his SOLE purpose of existing in this moment. He isn’t even the one who talks Echo out of letting Clarke go. 

And then THIS happens:

And suddenly it makes sense what Bellamy’s purpose in the scene is because HOW ELSE WOULD BELLAMY DRAMATICALLY CATCH HER SO THAT CLARKE CAN CARESS HIS CHEST ????

AND WHAT OTHER EXCUSE WOULD THERE BE FOR THEIR FACES TO BE THIS. FUCKING. CLOSE??!!! LOOK HOW ZOOMED IN THE CAMERA IS. THAT IS NOT PLATONIC DISTANCE. THESE TWO DUMBASSES HAVE ZERO CONCEPT OF PERSONAL SPACE. AND YET, THEY’RE TOTALLY PLATONIC. 

Right. Got it.

jason you are so transparent but wHATEVER

I can’t find a gif of it but IMMEDIATELY after this it ! focuses ! on ! bellamy’s ! face ! as ! he ! hears ! this! and all i’m thinking is WHY WHAT IS THE POINT? WHY BELLAMY HUH? WHY IS IT IMPORTANT FOR BELLAMY’S FACE TO BE FOCUSED ON HERE SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN ME ONE (1) PLATONIC REASON FOR THIS OH RIGHT IT DOESN’T FUCKING EXIST BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING PLATONIC ABOUT BELLARKE

okay and then GET THIS

there’s ANOTHER bellarke scene that has NO plot purpose AT. ALL!!1!!

and i can’t find a gif of it dammit

but Bellamy LOSES HIS SHIT when Clarke gets taken away again and honestly my question is WHY is he the only one freaking tf out? Like the focus is ALL on Bellamy’s reaction to Clarke being taken away and no one else’s, not even her mother’s. 

It’s All Very Suspicious.

and, of course, there’s no actual plot reason for this to happen. 

2. 4x03

Clarke: YES YOU WILL!!1!!!

Raven: So does that mean you made the list?”

Clarke: … no.

THIS MOMENT IS SO UNNECESSARY. Like, they easily could have just had Bellamy being like “i ain’t gonna be inside” without having Clarke freak tf out about that cause HOW IS SHE SUPPOSED TO LIVE WITHOUT BELLAMY BLAKE??? My favourite part about this moment is how Clarke admits that she hasn’t made the list yet but she KNOWS that Bellamy is going to be on it. Because it’s Bellamy. I mean, of course, she’d put him on the list. 

Is it a wonderful moment? Yes. But plot-necessary? nah. 

And again we have an AMAZING Bellarke moment that never, not once, serves the plot in any way besides stressing how Bellarke is the best, basically, and they need each other and love each other so much.

Just Platonic Things™

All right, I gotta take a long moment to talk about the many ways in which Bellamy’s presence in the List Scene is completely unnecessary and totally useless to the plot in every fucking way unless you admit that BELLARKE IS A PART OF THE PLOT. 

fIRsT of all, biNCh. 

Was it REALLY necessarily for Bellamy to be sleeping on the couch, and for Clarke to watch him while he’s sleeping and fucking smile??? Like, seriously, that is so intimate and that little detail was the most unnecessary thing I’ve ever seen. Why was he sleeping? Why couldn’t he just be awake and helping her with the list? Because they wanted to stress how intimate Bellamy and Clarke’s relationship is, that’s why. 

AND THEN. (and then) it focuses on Clarke writing BELLAMY’S name on the list. Bellamy’s. Not anyone else’s.

Bellamy’s. 

What makes BELLAMY so special that he is the ONLY one whose name is focused on when it is written down? Huh, Jason? Explain it to me. 

oH WAIT. IT’S CAUSE CLARKE IS IN LOVE WITH HIM THAT’S WHY

anyway.

There’s no plot-based reason for Bellamy’s name to be focused on when it’s written down. And there’s no plot-based reason for them to have that crazy intimate moment. And there’s no plot-based reason for Bellamy to comfort her or for Clarke to fucking nuzzle into his hand with her face.

NO REASON.

other than the reason that the writers have to push the Blorke Agenda

AND YOU KNOW WHAT ABSOLUTELY KILLS ME ABOUT THIS WHOLE LIST SCENE????

THEY PUT SO MUCH BLOODY EMPHASIS ON THE FACT THAT BELLAMY AND CLARKE’S NAMES ARE ON THE LIST, SO, MUCH, EMPHASIS. AND THEN IT DIDN’T EVEN MATTER. WHEN THEY END UP USING THE LIST, IT DOESN’T MATTER THAT BELLAMY AND CLARKE’S NAMES ARE ON IT BECAUSE THEY DON’T EVEN END UP IN THE BUNKER. 

So basically, what I’m getting at, was this moment between Bellamy and Clarke where they write their names down has absolutely nothing to do with Bellamy and Clarke having a spot in the Ark/bunker and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that they don’t want to live in a world without each other.

That’s it, folks. That’s why this scene exists. lmao

3. 4x04

“BELLAMY should be back by now." 

Not much to say on this moment, but even in an episode where Bellamy and Clarke don’t interact at all they managed to squeeze in Clarke getting worried about Bellamy (and not all the other people who haven’t returned to Arkadia, BELLAMY. Singular). 

And that’s all.

4. 4x05

This is basically the same as the previous scene, where it only exists to show Clarke’s worry over Bellamy. And I also love Monty’s snark because it suggests that Clarke has been asking them about Bellamy repeatedly and that its getting annoying lmao.

THIS. This is the most dramatic/romantic shit I’ve ever seen. 

lmao. Kane who? Doesn’t matter. Clarke only has eyes for Bellamy. The way this scene was shot was so fucking unnecessary. The dramatic way Bellamy’s hood is pulled off, how they make eye contact and it zooms in and focuses on their expressions, focuses on Clarke’s distress when she sees him. 

Honestly what was the point of Bellamy being taken hostage anyway? Kane makes sense: he’s the chancellor, but Bellamy? His only purpose to be taken hostage was to set up a situation where Clarke has to make a choice whether to sacrifice him … this guy she cares about, and ultimately ends up caving, cause she can’t lose him. SHE SACRIFICED HALF OF THE ARK TO SAVE HIM EVEN THOUGH THEY HAD A HUGE ADVANTAGE IN THE FIGHT AND IT DIDNT EVEN MATTER BECAUSE THE ARK BURNS DOWN ANYWAY SO ! WHAT ! WAS ! THE ! POINT?!

THERE WAS NO POINT EXCEPT TO MAKE CLARKE CAVE CAUSE SHE CAN’T LOSE BELLAMY THAT’S LITERALLY IT FAM.

5. 4x06

Was it really necessary to focus on Bellamy’s shaky hands when opening up the body bag in 4x06 or to show his relieved face when it wasn’t Clarke?

Plot-wise, definitely not. In terms of Bellarke … 

Well. You get the idea.

Was that last part about him being special necessary? No. And, quite honestly, that’s a really fucking weird word choice to talk about someone’s sibling. She’ll see how special you are. Special. 

Nah. This moment had nothing to do with Octavia thinking Bellamy was “special” (like, I said, odd word choice for siblings) and EVERYTHING to do with how special CLARKE thinks Bellamy is … how special he is to her. 

Also need I mention the wandering eyes? It was excessive my dudes. 

THE ONLY PURPOSE OF THIS LINE IS TO MAKE US THINK HE WAS GOING TO SAY I LOVE YOU (whether or not he was). THE INTERRUPTED LOVE CONFESSION IS THE OLDEST TROPE IN THE BOOK. WE NEVER GOT TO HEAR THE END OF HIS SENTENCE SO ITS LITERALLY THE MOST POINTLESS PIECE OF DIALOGUE UNLESS WE WERE INTENDED TO FILL IN THE BLANK. Duh. 

6. 4x09

I know a lot of people were disappointed in the anti-climactic lack of Bellarke reunion in 4x09 but there just was too much going on in the episode for it to be included and honestly the fact that we got a scene with them talking at all when not even Kabby got that (who were literally separated all season) - or anyone else for that matter - is pretty indicative of the fact that the relationship between Bellamy and Clarke is important to the writers. Honestly, this conversation could have been with any character(s) but they wanted it to be Bellamy and Clarke. For … reasons.

7. 4x11

Bellamy: *screaming*

Murphy: "Do you wanna talk to him?" 

Clarke: "Yeah." 

Clarke: *can’t talk to him cause listening to Bellamy in pain gives HER pain so she runs away*

THIS WAS ENTIRELY UNNECESSARY CAUSE CLARKE DIDN’T EVEN END UP TALKING TO BELLAMY. SHE COULD HAVE JUST HANDED MURPHY THE RADIO AND LEFT. but nooooooooo we had to see her in pain at listening to Bellamy screaming.

This is honestly such an underrated Bellarke moment. Why are y’all sleeping on this? 

(Gifs taken from this gifset here by @bellarkegifsdaily - I couldn’t find gifs anywhere for this scene unfortunately, if you want me to take them down I will!)

Honestly this line is one of those lines that doesn’t really HAVE to exist but the writers saw an opportunity to throw some Bellarke in the script and they took it.

8. 4x12

Bellamy smiling/staring at Clarke for so long he crashes the fucking vehicle. 

… writers wyd

The car needed to crash but they easily (EASILY !!) could have managed that by just having the dude throw himself in front of the vehicle. Did we really need the intense heart eyes? Yes … but only for Bellarke reasons. There are unlimited ways they could have had the crash take place that didn’t involve any special Bellarke moments whatsoever but i think we know by now that the Bellarke scenes we get can’t just be shrugged off as “platonic moments necessary to move the plot” anymore. We’re past this. 

9. 4x13

They literally set up a situation where Clarke had to cry JUST so Bell could comfort her. They could have sold it as Clarke having talked to Abby off-screen, or show Bellamy handing off the radio and then ending the scene. But noooope. They just needed an excuse for Bellarke to hug. Like, god, this moment would NOT exist if Bellarke was actually platonic. It’s not even just the hug itself, but the camerawork. Like, focusing and zooming in on her hands slowly tightening around his waist is so NOT SUBTLE.

The entire oxymoron conversation AND face caress are soooo extra its crazy. WHY WAS THIS NECESSARY??? 

Hint: they were not. They served the plot in ZERO way, except to give Bellarke a cute/flirty + soft moment. Especially the face caress. Like, was it really absolutely critical that Bellamy had to reach out to stroke Clarke’s face just to point out that she’s suffering from radiation sickness?

The head and heart conversation needed to happen for Bellamy’s character development (and Clarke’s to some extent, too) but there was no plot reason (besides pushing the Blorke agenda) that it needed to be THAT intimate, with her touching his heart and shit. Zero. Holy shit. This scene would have read WAY different if they were actually platonic. 

I mean let's just consider the delivery of the following lines:

"We’ve been through a lot together you and I”

“NOTHING IS HAPPENING TO YOU.”

“You have such a big heart, Bellamy.”

“I got you for that.”

IT WAS SO INTIMATE. If they were just bros this conversation would be a whole lot more casual and a lot less emotional.

(Credit goes to @bellarkegifsdaily again - link here - apparently gifs of this scene are extremely hard to track down which is honestly surprising to me.)

THIS WAS SO POINTLESS. It’s the exact same thing as the interrupted love confession in 4x06. The only reason it exists is for us to fill in the blanks on our own (which certainly is not “hurry”). They easily could have just nodded and gone on their ways like they usually do on their respective missions but noooo it HAD to be angsty and romantic.

Bellamy waiting outside the rocket for Clarke and Raven coming to get him. (“I KNOW Raven) + Bellamy asking Raven about Clarke TWICE. 

Honestly, there’s no reason for Bellamy to be set apart from all the others in this scene unless the writers admit that Bellamy’s feelings for Clarke are just that much stronger (in a romantic sense). He could be waiting inside the rocket, OR Raven and the others could be waiting outside with him … But the writers wanted to stress how much it’s killing Bellamy to leave Clarke behind, not the others. 

"I left her behind and we all die anyway." 

There’s no real reason this line needs to exist. It’s literally just there to serve us some good ol’ wholesome Bellarke angst. 

LISTEN ! ! This scene was SO extra it could have been taken straight out of fic. If the writers were actually concerned with Bellarke being interpreted as romantic, they would have just had Clarke say something like "calling all Ark survivors” or “Raven” or “Monty” or LITERALLY anyone but Bellamy, and just Bellamy. The fact that she’s been calling him and JUST HIM for six years is INSANE you guys. And there is NO plot purpose why it had to be that way.

Also, the  "I still have hope" line is a clear callback to their conversation in 4x03 (”the list scene”). It’s so unnecessary. All of it. These writers are so transparent i swear.

SO THAT’S IT FAM! I’m sure you could create an argument for why more scenes from Season 4 should be included in this list because I did end up narrowing it down a bit from my original list, but I believe that I hit the main scenes that are pretty much completely unnecessary towards the plot, lol. 

Hopefully you enjoyed this sort of ridiculous little (long?) post of mine and it maybe even gave you some hope in Bellarke. Thanks for reading!

[poppunkdee]

3-5, 28-30, 35-40

whoa okay everyone sorry for the long post someone decided to give me a million in one ask. 

3. okay so this person idk what to even say about them anymore I hardly know who or what they are like now but I guess ill talk about them when I was irrationally in love with them. They had a way to make me feel at home no matter how far from home I was. That person was super smart (to me) they had a charisma that allowed them to creep into your life and later your heart, and had you liking them even if at first you thought they were just another fake person trying super hard to be “cool” they had a way to get under your skin, to make you laugh until you’re crying and hold your attention in a way that you never really thought they might be able to. Honestly this person made me feel so many things and not all of them were good, in fact looking back now I realized that I excused so much shitty behavior towards me because of a fancy dinner, or a cute poem, or a dozen roses. God i was so in love with them and its sad really how now its just a faded memory of a person who never apologized for the hell they put me through. 

4. the thing I regret most so far is not going to the ivy league school I was accepted into bc it meant I would be far from the person mentioned above. 

5. Oh fuck. Honestly I have not had any like “amazing” birthdays. My most memorable birthdays are seared into my memory bc I was either in a funeral home, in a hospital watching my cousin fight cancer, or I myself was in the hospital bc a car almost killed me(yay 24th birthday!) really I have most fun when I celebrate my birthday alone at disneyland, which I do every year although not on my actual birthday bc it seems that on my actual birthday I’m always caught up in some kind of hospital, or receiving bad news. 

28. honestly idk if i have any like crazy out there fetishes, like dirty talk and rough sex is cool but like idk if i really have like one odd thing. I mean one of my exes and I got hella drunk one night and decided to do all the shit we had wanted to do and lemmi tell you that was a full weekend of endless orgasms and take out food. It was amazing. I had rope burn on my thighs and was sore for a week after and he had like a million hickies from his neck to his dick. 

29. okay turn ons so like these depend on the person im seeing, like for one person their voice as they whisper in my ear might end me while for another the way they bite their lip and run their fingers through their hair might have me thinking of how those fingers might feel on me. so really I don’t have like one singular set of turn ons they just vary depending on the person. 

30.OHHH TURN OFFS THO. so these will literally dry me up like the Sahara desert and make me grab my shit and leave kyle’s house. If I say "men are trash” and the guy replies with “well not all men.... “ yeah ya cancelled. okay this one is shallow I know but its there and i really cant get past it, bad dental hygiene. the white ppl who try to have dreadlocks but really they haven’t washed their hair. ANY NON BLACK PERSON SAYING THE N WORD. I can go on really bc I’m super picky with the people I sleep with and i have actually mid thrust have told a guy to stop, got dressed, left and blocked him. 

35. Things i wish I could stop doing, okay so like as yall know my anxiety gets the best of me sometimes and I wish I could stop the nail biting. Also I need to stop expecting my body to go back to how it was before my car accident, like my spine is forever hurt and i really have to learn to accept that there are somethings i just cant do anymore and its not my fault there are limitations on my body so i should stop expecting to be able to go back to the gym like i used to, or do all the adventurous activities i used to do, also I wish I could go back to driving like i used to without the PTSD fear running through me every time a big rig is next to me on the freeway. 

36, okay so as of rn my guilty pleasure is that I read the twilight books bc my roommates got me into it and like holy shit i went through the whole saga in less than a weekend and I now need to rewatch the movies. honestly thank god for this gay twilight renaissance I’m living. But really tumblr is full of my guilty pleasures so like just scroll through my blog bc its all there, half of this shit is not on any of my public social media,.... or wait actually i think it is, i don’t really hide who i am so like it definitely has affected the way people judge me before they really know me but i know the people that are my friends after seeing the shit i post kinda really like me.  

37. Damn okay so this is kinda, ugh, okay so im sure my best friend is tired of me running back to this person but like i like ppl who ruin me i guess. So this person and I started dating after i had gone through like a horrible breakup, AND I got the news that my uterus is like a war zone for new cells(make of that what you will). Anyways here I am five months into a depressive episode i cut off all the people that i had thought were friends but who turned out to abandon me when i needed them the most. so here enters this person with their puppy dog love and gives me wonderful dirty kinky sex along with the hugs, cuddles, after care and takes me to these cool experiences in the city I thought I knew. They support my dreams and help me work towards them, honestly it was a great three months, but this person told me they loved me one night while at a night club and i thought hey youre drunk pls don’t do this and honestly it was mostly cowardliness that drove me to end it bc i didn’t feel the same way and i felt like i didnt deserve this new pure love i was receiving.  Anyways we hooked up a bit after we broke up and then they started dating someone else and we just kinda saw other people but would come back to each other after our different flings ended, until they got into like a real relationship with some one else and like I was cool like they deserve it, could have used a heads up but like i keep my space like the respectful person that i am, although lately this person has told me they are not into the person they are with and has been hitting me up and like the part of me that thinks im in love with them is really pushing for me to go for it but also they ARE STILL IN A RELATIONSHIP AND ITS NOT OKAY THAT THEY ARE SENDING ME MESSAGES LIKE THIS!! so anyways i think im more in love with the feeling they brought me those few months we were together bc i was just so fucking depressed and they helped pull me out of the hole i was in. So not really in love with the person but with the feeling i guess. 

38. songs that remind me of people. oh god, yall can i just make a spotify playlist and link it later bc theres so many. I have a few songs for like everyone that I know that i can make playlists for individual people so like i’ll just link a playlist when get around to it pls remind me later. 

39. OHHHH BOYYY. things i wish i had known earlier. i wish i had known men are trash earlier in life so that i would have been somewhat prepared for the men that caused trauma in my life. I also wish i had known how little time i had with certain people. (people i regret not making more time with) Also wish I had known about the accident that had me in a hospital on my birthday bc a year later im still plagued by nightmares, PTSD, and anxiety on the road. I also wish I had known about my cousin’s accident. GOd if there’s one thing i’ve had to learn the hard way this past year is that we never know when it will be the last time we see our loved ones and that we have GOT to tell them we love them bc we NEVER know when it will be the last time.  

40.okay last one, the end of something in my life. I wanna talk about a good ending bc i feel like yall got some insight on bad shit so like good endings i’d say is when i left socal for norcal. I come back literally anytime im homesick but like it was a huge step for me to take to leave, I was given a full scholarship to the wilderness and an apartment thats a ten min walk to the beach. It was definitely hard leaving all my friends and family behind but it was also kind of refreshing to be able to go out on my own to make my own path and do something i love. im back in socal for the summer and although im so happy to be back in the warmth of LA im definitely looking forward to my small apartment that constantly smells like a mix of sea breeze and damp forest.