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bisexualnamjoonie · 1 year ago

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"literally the only one in this band who hasn't disappointed me is Namjoon" wait what did the others besides jk do 😭

(also I agree with the whole post. disappointment doesn't even begin to cover it on my end. I can't believe they'd actually go with this elyrics. wtf were they thinking?)

ah there's two things to it: 1) he's the only one who, when he fucks up, shows that he actually reflects on it and try to do better? 2) when it comes to political opinions he and yoongi have done and said stuff that speak to me the most

but then as a general rule i try (and fail a lot lmao) to remember than first and foremost they are billionaires and will always benefit from a system that is actively cruel toward other ppl and the planet so ive struggled a lot with that (especially how hypocritical their campaigns around ecology are. but anyways). as ive said before im trying to be here only for the music, to not buy into that whole parasocial relationship (even if kpop is built in a way to make you do so), and to tell myself that if their music brings me comfort, then that's what matters.

but yeah when the music sucks then there's no reason for me to stan them is it. cause as human beings I don't have any affinity for them, i don't actually know them, and to some extent it's even worse since because the way they live and actively pursue always getting richer, partnering with brands that are awful in every domain (like, you know, the luxe industry or McDonald's) theyre part of a group of people that benefits the most from how fucked up our capitalist system is.

and then when it comes to the other members, i personnaly didn't think the way yoongi handled the whole debacle with what do you think was the right way to do so but theres no use to bring that back for more drama. also still struggle with the way he was supposed to be critical of social inequalities and anti capitalist but then, you know, became super rich and. well. I've answered plenty of asks about it if you go in my ask tag, I won't dwell on it. hobi im actually kind of neutral about because he's so secretive about what he actually think i wouldn't be able to form an opinion on anything he might think or do. hes just a basic billionaire. jin has more than once in lives said stuff that amounts to "just be rich" and it's simply a capitalist, bourgeois mentality i don't agree with politically.

then when it comes to ml: well there was a rumour that jimin said anti abortions stuff but I've never checked it out so let's say It didn't happen (if it did obviously it would add to the list). then there's the obvious participating in angel lmao, that was just. yeah don't even wanna talk about it. then tae there was the way Jennie's harassment was handled (or not handled actually) by him and hybe that was just fucked up. I don't believe idols should be held responsible for their fans actions, on the contrary I think it's a dangerous road to take, but you can and should tell them to stfu when they're threatening ppls lives lmao. also he is close with very conservative, homophobic ppl and well. i mean there's a huge incel problem atm in SK and most young men his age are just. downright shitty ppl. so the fact that.hes friend with that kind of ppl doesn't reflect well on him. and then well jk. 🤷

anyways! this serves as another lesson lesson to not expect anything ever from celebrities!

#anon #ask #answered #should I mention that I dislike jack harlow even more than i did before or does it go without saying lmao

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writingconceptsandstupidshit · 4 years ago

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Welcome to insanity concepts #2

Roxi grumbled into her pillow as her father, Kumo, called her and her siblings down for breakfast. As she got up a pair of feet whacked her in the face from the top bunk. She whined and then made a sarcastic reply “Morning to you too punkass”. Both Rix and Roxi head downstairs, Rix walking slower than he usually did, complaining about how he didn’t want to go to school. Lide, the third wheel of the three, just laughed and kept telling him that he had to go.

“Rix you can’t skip school forever.”

“Fuck it. I’m gonna work at Mcdonald’s anyways, I’m not going.”

This went on for several minutes until Roxi had enough (and had finished her Rixito’s)

“Rix, you’re going to school, and Lide stop laughing at your siblings.” Kumo interrupted before Roxi said something she regretted. The three teens were silenced and just got up to leave, Rix and Roxi butting eachother in the sides as they walked.

Rix put his hoodie over his face, and before Roxi or Lide could say anything about it he just walked over silently to his seat, sitting next to a tall girl with pale blue hair. Rix glanced over at her a couple of times before daring to strike a conversation.

“Uhm, hello! I’m Rix, may I ask yours?”

No response, Rix started to panic wondering if he did something wrong until

“The name’s Cloud. You’re the weird kid in my band class right?”

“Wait you have Mr. M? How have I never noticed you before? I mean considering how tall you are and everything.” Rix regretted that.

“I have my ways, I like being a background character, makes everything less noisy and chaotic of you catch my drift” Cloud’s voice was smooth and sweet, also rather quiet as if she wanted to keep only Rix’s attention.

“Ritz right?”

“It’s Rix.”

“Close enough, wanna sit next to each other during lunch? And possibly Band class?”

Rix smiled, Roxi and Lide gave him a thumbs up for confirmation.

“Sure! I look forward to it!”

The bus came to a full stop, Rix had to stop himself from being launched forward by gripping onto the seat in front of him. He only got his face slammed into the bus seat in front of him, better than last week. Rix stumbled getting up, then let Cloud go before him. As he walked off the bus, he already felt stares on him. Cloud quickly picked up on this and grabbed Rix’s hand. “c’mon shrimp we gotta go.”

“why?”

“Unless you want to be beaten to a pulp and left looking like a raisin then I suggest you listen to me”

Rix just nodded, then a wave of embaressment hit him. Had she seen him last week? Before he could think any more, a tall tan boy with slicked back hair approached him.

“Bruce go away, please..”

“Or what you gonna call your mommy? Oh wait you don’t have one! Your freak of a brother killed her!”

“That’s sibling to you. Don’t talk about them like that”

Cloud stepped in

“Go back to the 80’s where you belong, greaser.” her stance was bold, she growled letting them know she wasn’t afraid.

Bruce growled deeply before slowly backing off, managing to get a few slurs in before Cloud sent him off with a kick to the side.

“You alright shrimp?” Cloud looked at Rix, who was obviously panicked. Usually Rix gets a few punches to the face before someone does anything.

“T-Thank you Cloud.”

“Eh, it’s whatever shrimp. I’ve dealt with them before, I’ll deal with them again.”

Cloud seemed to radiate hostility now, did something bad happen between her and Bruce?

“You haven’t known me for long enough to know what the fuck just happened. I’ll tell you when we know each other better.” Cloud took a breath and then changed the subject.

“So where you off to shrimp?” her emotions changed almost exactly like a mood ring, I wonder if she is one.

“uhm.. I gotta go to Science. Then theres band, oh wait you’re in that class. Then lunch, which you also have, and then art class with my sister (that’s fun). After that I have English.” Rix looked down and mumbled an apology.

“Shrimp you ain’t got nothing to apologize for, I actually have Science too, considering you’re so quiet that’s why I never saw ya. You do have Ms. Spado right?” that was a lot of information to take in.

“Mhm.”

“Nice, well now I got a friend to sit with.”

The term ‘friend’ hurt as much as it made Rix smile.

--------

Roxi’s POV:

Why does everyone pick on my other siblings? They don’t pick on me for some reason, I would say its because I’m quiet but so is Rix. Then it occurred to me why. I wasn’t “out” yet so I guess I didn’t see the hell Lide and Rix did. I didn’t want to. Maybe if I-

I was snapped out of thought when I bumped into her, I felt my face burning up and it probably showed.

“You alright? Sorry I wasn’t watching where I was going.” Her name was Bridgette, she had a headband with devil horns on it and a tail to match. She also had a hoodie, which she never took off, it had various religious symbols on them, and attached to it was two angel wings and two devil wings. I realized I was staring where I shouldn’t have been and quickly replied.

“Oh, yeah I’m fine. Have I seen you somewhere before? You look familiar.”

Oh no im doing it again.

Bridgette waved at her friends to let them know they can go on without her, then she turned back to me.

“Hmm. You’re the midgets’ sister arent you? I think he’s said a few things about you-”

“He has?! I’m sorry I cut you off, what were you saying?”

“yeah he has. He says youre pretty chill and that you motivate him to keep going.”

I questioned this, what did he mean by keep going? Is Rix okay?

“what do you mean by ‘keep going’?”

“Well Rix hasn’t exactly had the easiest life. I know that your mother passed years ago. He said he never got to say goodbye, and he didn’t get to say he loved her.”

How did I not know this? I know it was difficult with her gone but he never wanted to talk about it.

“I-I didn’t know”

“It’s alright, he’s a tricky one to figure out.”

“Well yeah, I get that.”

Bridgette smiled at me warmly and said “we should hang out sometime, just us.” then she turned and left, the sea of people parting for her.

---------------

Lide’s POV:

Names filled my ears and made their way to chip at my heart, or what was left of it. Its been 4 years since mama died and still everyone thinks that I killed her. I don’t know why, but its all around the school. How I did it, when I did it, where I did it. It’s saddening but at the same time it’s frustrating, they're using mama against me. I was always there for her when she got sick, I got her what she needed. I don’t get it, I saw eyes locked on me as if they look away they’ll die. I start tearing up as the memories of being called a faggot fill my head. I rush to the nearest bathroom.

I let out an exhale inbetween my sobs. This went on for several minutes until

“Hey, you alright? You’ve been in there for about... 15 minutes now.” The voice said

I sniffed, and then I replied quietly. “Yeah everything’s fine.”

They sighed and then replied back

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justscreamingnothing · 6 years ago

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Friends

What bothers me about the current state of my friendships is that I don’t really feel like I have anyone I’m very close to. I’m grateful for the friends I have but I just wish I had a really close group of friends I could completely be myself with. I love z** but theres a big part of my life that he just doesn’t know and he wont know because we don’t live close to each other and don’t really know certain parts of each others lives because of this. I wish we could be more involved in each others lives but theres just something about someone being so far away, I would feel like a burden if I had to contact him for something. Even like, emotional support or something. And then the irl friends I have are just too judgmental as people. Like ok, tbh they’ve helped me out in a lot of aspects, like getting a car or driving me around when I didn’t have a car, or that whole thing helping out my little brother with college stuff but I wish they weren’t so finnicky and judgmental, its almost like I’m trying to impress someone very important at every fucking turn. The dynamic of the “group” is actually really fucked up in general, we have alyssa, who is at the top by default because I was friends with her first and she is the one who assembled us (i guess?) so everyone always listens to her and does what she does. But for no reason! I don’t get it but its like everyone is always afraid to go against what she says or what she does or what she wants. Her bf is such a nice and sweet guy but GOD do I wish he’d just stand up for himself more, he follows her around like a little puppy dog and does literally ANYTHING she wants. He’s a great person and one of my closest friends but I wish he had more of a backbone. She could tell him to go to the keys and pick up some food from some restaurant she really wants because they make the food the way she likes it and he’d do it!! just like that!! Actually that reminds me of a real life situation where she made him go one town over to get a burger and they forgot her fries so she asked him to go back in 5pm traffic on the busy ass highway..... He did it but he called her halfway there asking if he could just go to mcdonalds to get her fries because the traffic was too crazy. That was like one of the first times he every stood up for himself and even then it wasn’t that like triumphant. And she had the AUDACITY to get mad at him because he wouldn’t go back for the fries... Another friend of ours is mainly her friend, like we wouldn’t talk if she hadn’t kept in contact with him but we don’t really go out with him too often. He’s also sweet and fun, there’s just that same disconnect there because I don’t talk to him much and there are details of his life I don’t know. I’m glad he’s his own person though, he has an entire life outside of us and while like obviously he does because why wouldn’t he, it makes me happy.

I guess one of her biggest problems is that she truly does believe the world revolves around her. And honestly? The people she keeps around help support her theory because they constantly kiss her ass. Except her mother who just chooses to be emotionally manipulative sometimes but everyone else is literally up her ass and when someone challenges that she has a break down. It’s kind of ridiculous to see how she interacts with the world and to examine all the things she does for attention. She had this friend one time that was like a cool normal girl and something happened so they stopped talking and she made a big deal out of it saying that the girl did all this shit (that honestly I can’t remember) but despite all that to this day I am convinced that the other girl was in the right and probably better off not being friends with her anymore. I’m honestly relieved that she moved away because I literally cannot imagine having her here all the time. Even when we hung out last night there were just parts of it that were stressful. Like, why can’t I have a group of friends that like to have fun and sing in the car instead of ones that constantly tease and put you down? Its just a song, fucking relax and sing along theres no need to be like “ugh -_- are you really doing this right now?” Youre not cool funny or smart... fucking drop the act. In general I would just like to be around people that support me, not just tolerate me. That’s how it feels I guess, that people are tolerating me. It’s uncomfortable and sad and I just want a few friends I can be emotionally open with. The group I have now, we’ve known each other a while and in a way, we are really close, but there are certain things I won’t bring up because I know that they’ll either 1. tease me about it when what I need is reassurance 2. not have empathy 3. not even try to sympathize. That’s so awful! I feel like I try to be a good friend and I’m not seeing that reflected back to me.

It’s lame to see people be like “i made this one mistake years ago and if that ONE THING wouldn’t have happened my life would be completely different and perfect:(” because there’s a lot more to life than that but I wish I never would have become friends with this girl. I truly don’t know what my life would look like because its not like it would have changed where I went to college or anything but maybe I would have made different friends and been a happier person. You never know, maybe I wouldn’t have made any other friends and I’d be miserable right now but I think I would have been better off as far as my self esteem goes. I don’t know why I never had the confidence in high school to just stop being this girls friend because obviously she’s a very self absorbed, jealous, and judgmental person and that’s never good to be around but I really should have just said “wow you’re not that great... i’m gonna stop hanging out with you, bye!” I think it speaks more about me and my incessant need to be liked by everyone and be perceived as a likable and cool person that I kept holding on to this friendship. I think that’s a prime piece of advice I’d give my past self, just be genuine and confident and hang out with people who will give you what you give them. In terms of my self esteem, I don’t know how I’d feel if we weren’t friends but being friends with this girl for such a long time was definitely not good for me. I seriously get so pissed off just thinking about all the shit she gives me and other people when they don’t fit her definition of “good” or “normal” oh- and you can’t tell her nothing!! Another awful trait about her is that you legitimately can’t have a conversation with her about her flaws because she’d do what she does best- deny, deny, deny. She would literally just refuse to listen, which she’s done before. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who have to be right all the time, and that’s this girl. She can never be wrong and you can never go against what she’s saying. She is convinced that every word out of her mouth is one hundred percent right and her mind won’t change unless you can provide at least three pieces of concrete solid evidence. One time she told everyone that 75% of homeless people have a mental disability... when I told her that there’s no way thats true not only did she not believe me but she actually got mad at me... I looked it up on my phone, proved her wrong, and then she completely ignored it and me for like a few hours. Who does that?? Just admit you’re wrong! It’s that simple! It’s really not gonna be as embarrassing as you think! And even if it is WHO THE FUCK CARES?? This was the day after she kept trying to wake me up in the car while wee were taking a long drive with the rest of the group because she thought it’d be funny even though I had just worked an 8 hour shift and I was trying to get some rest. God forbid someone ever try to wake HER up, she’d have a fucking fit and ruin the rest of the trip for everyone by being a bossy bitch (well bossiER and bitchiER) and no one would be able to tell her anything about it because again- they all kiss her ass. But when it’s me its fine to keep trying to wake me up to be funny?

I can’t believe this turned into a long ass rant about this girl but our relationship is so toxic and awful and I just can’t seem to fucking shake her so I guess I have a lot of feelings. It might also have to do with the fact that last night I had a dream that I told her off and just went in on her on what a horrible person she is sometimes and she took it relatively well. She didn’t like fake a panic attack or insult me therefore completely missing the point or anything. Now that I’m typing it out it sucks to see what I expect from her. And she’s given me no reason NOT to expect shit like this from her. It’s funny to think I thought I missed her a few months ago. I was like legit sad because something happened and I just wanted someone to talk to but then I realized- I just wanted a friend. Not her specifically, but a best friend in general. I want someone to be completely vulnerable with, someone that I’m not afraid to talk to, to show all my sides to because I know they will take me seriously. Someone who’ll listen when I talk, which I am sorely lacking. I guess the best listener I have in my life right now is my little brother and he has his own life and friends and he’ll be going off to college soon so that’s a bust. I’ so grateful for the time I have with him but I need someone who’ll be there for me. I guess that’s why I’m so into the idea of moving because I’m so convinced it’ll solve my problems and even if it doesn’t it’ll at least be a change of pace and some desperately needed time away from my parents. That’s something little miss queen got to do- move away from her old life completely and go somewhere that not only is she alone but she doesn’t have to worry about how people perceive her because she can just pretend she’s someone else (she does that sometimes) and her dumbfuck little sugar daddy is paying for it all (as well as school loans- because THAT’S a good idea!) they’re both dumbfucks I guess so it’s fitting. I’m not jealous of her life but I am a little jealous she was able to do all of that so quickly. Don’t get me wrong, she’s making a lot of astronomically stupid financial decisions but sometimes I do wish I could just run away and leave it all behind also.

The thing is I got a taste of what that would be like when I left the country and it breaks my heart that I’m no longer friends with the girls I roomed with. We got so close on that trip- it really felt like we could talk about anything, we would talk and talk and talk all day and not get tired of each other. And the best part was that they had no preconceived notion of who I was. No one “expected” me to act a certain way (giant pet peeve!) and everyone took me seriously because they had no reason not to. Because that’s just how you’re supposed to treat people. They didn’t laugh at me or brush off what I was saying or blatantly not respond when I was talking to them- we just interacted as people and you know what? Now that I think about it from what I’ve gathered they told me I was really nice and funny and was able to make friends easily so I think that’s how I come off when no one knows me because they don’t already expect me to act a certain way. It’s such a relief too. I can say what I want to say and I act and react the way I want to without fear of repercussion, without fear of being made fun of or ignored. GOD I was in such a bad place with my friends!! Why have I supported this for so many years? Its not 100% like this now but for a while I really felt so small, so afraid to speak up for myself in my LITERAL GROUP OF FRIENDS. The ones you’re supposed to be able to trust the most!!! I’m glad I’ve stepped away a little and even though I’ve been a little lonely typing this all out has reminded me that I’m making the right decision. I’m just ready to make a new life with people I can trust and be completely comfortable with.

I’m a fully formed person- I have opinions and ideas and flaws and quirks and attributes. I’m not afraid of being wrong or not knowing. I’m not afraid of being honest and genuine. I like to help people, to be nice, and to crack jokes. I like it when other people are happy. I wish everyone in the world was good and kind and compassionate and that we could all be happy all the time. I wish people lived as good as I do, I wish I lived better than I do. I can’t take it when the news are sad or when a character dies on tv. I don’t like watching things that are too emotionally heavy for fear it’ll make me sad. I wish I could be more than what I am. But here I am. Fully formed, heart full, head spinning, fingers crossed, nerves on end, smiling wide. I wish everything and everyone was good and we could all just do what we love while we live on and cherish God’s green Earth. That’s not the way it is but that’s the way it should be. Here I am, existing at this point in time in the intersection of all of these identities. I don’t know what will happen but all I can do is try my best. Try my best to succeed, to love, to be kind, to not be judgmental, to listen, to laugh, to learn, to continue to exist. Because I am a fully formed person, and I deserve love.

#og post

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ecdemomaniabyemma · 7 years ago

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QUICK GUIDE: A BUDGET VISIT TO VENICE

I know what your thinking – here we go again, someone babbling about their ‘romantic’ get away with their other half to the beautiful city of Venice. Well, it was beautiful but in fact, it was a stop over for myself and best mate Ellie on our journey to Outlook festival in Pula, Croatia in the summer of 2014 – keep your eyes peeled, that festivals blog post is coming soon!

It turns out its roughly four hundred pounds cheaper to travel via plane to Venice and a coach to Pula then to travel direct, and you get a couple of days to browse one of the most beautiful cities in the world, and trust me, it REALLY is beautiful. I loved everything about it – visually it was an arts students dream, especially one interested in design, archaeology, history and is dying to live in Italy one day! But, heres the bad bit – money. If your rich and have that cash to flash then seriously, go for it. Go for all the cheesy gestures, the flashy gondola tour (at roughly 40 - 60 euros each) and the candle lit dinner, but if your two twenty something’s still in student debt with about enough money for a packet of crisps, then Venice is perhaps a little out of your league. Thats not to say it’s an entirely impossible trip; obviously as we did manage it and got back alive. So if you intend to travel to Venice on a budget or just generally anytime soon, here is my guide on how not to mess it up – speaking from experience of well, getting it a bit wrong!

1. Accommodation – so first off the only good thing that came out of our accommodation situation is a funny story to share with you. On our arrival around 5 or 6pm at the bus station in Venice (oh learn or write down some basic Italian so you know how to relocate this) we spent the following 6 hours or so attempting, and failing miserably to find our hostel. By midnight we realised sleeping in the bus station was not a reasonable option and after some additional help from a McDonalds worker, providing us with a wifi code and googling stuff for us in Italian, we managed to locate a hotel with a room spare – amen to kind and helpful foreigners! It was pricier than we had hoped, but it was a bed each. I’ve said before, always book hostels not hotels as they are so much cheaper on a student budget, on our return journey we booked another and found this one with ease because we were prepared this time! Being prepared means by the way, planning your route, having a picture of what the outside of the hostel looks like and screenshots of your google maps in addition to a paper map – before you arrive in Venice! If worse comes to worse you can do what we did and ask the locals, but when half of Venice looks almost identical and your Italian is not exactly ship shape, its unlikely to be of much help.

2. Food – is SO expensive! With only 100 euros to spend I spent over 20% of my entire Venice stop over fund on one standard margarita pizza, and that was in one of the cheapest restaurants we found. A lovely, small, locally run and friendly place but having spent around 18 euros for my tiny pizza, that was without sides or even a drink I was a little disappointed. Most places are abominably priced and a total tourist trap, so either hunt down the cheaper, smaller places (although your unlikely to get served quickly) or buy food locally on the market and cook/eat it back at your accommodation as most hostels have a kitchen – our ham sandwiches were life savers – quite literally. Admittedly this does seem to fob off the Italian traditional culture and its stupendous food dishes so if you want to experience them, then perhaps budget for one, maybe even two classy meals out in the evening.. but perhaps don’t buy a bottle of wine, leading me to my next point…

3. Drinks – so if the food was pricy, the drinks are entirely extortionate. Bottled water amounted to €1,75, a can of coke at least €3,50 and anything alcoholic was well beyond my budget. This was not just the case in restaurants but even in the local stores too, so with the glorious sunshine and toasted, tanning skin you might want to take a bottle and refill it from your hostels water supply in the morning, dehydration isn’t really a fun option.

4. The Tourist Trap – just don’t fall for it, do NOT pay over €60 each for a gondola ride, it is possible to barter for a better price, as long as your not rude about it. The same applies to souvenirs and market stall holders.

5. Take A Camera – obviously, as I said it is a beautiful place rich in history, culture, architecture, design and interesting individuals.

6. See St Marks Square – I know, I know, its so obvious and its on all the ‘what to do in Venice’ articles, but thats precisely why you can’t miss it, you can’t exactly say ‘I went to Venice, but hey I skipped St Marks square’ now can you? Additionally, the walk there takes you through the city, over the bridge and following the river, allowing you to see the whole of Venice for all its worth. Oh, and maybe don’t feed the pigeons – and look out for bird poo!

7. Walk – the map looks frightful but Venice really isn’t all that big, everything is in walking distance, with spectacular views and old cobbled streets along the way. Obviously you have to take a boat or the water bus at some point, the water is a key aspect of Venice but what I’m saying is theres not a total need to rely on it, if you can walk, do and save your pennies in the process.

8. Night – I personally think Venice is twice as nice at nighttime, it’s a whole different experience, and one not to miss – so don’t stay tucked up in that hotel or hostel room with a bottle of wine!

Happy travelling!

Emma

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trendingnewsb · 7 years ago

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Donald Trump’s 6 Very Real, Very Insane Tips For A Good Life

Whatever you make of him politically, there’s no denying that Donald Trump has been alive for a long, long time. That is literally the least that we can give him. So it stands to reason that he must know something — that he must have some standards or guidelines by which a person can live their life. What a rich source of lifestyle advice he would be, if only he’d share this with us. If only he could find some time in his day to talk about himself.

Oh, it turns out he can.

Never Let Go Of Your Grudges

Much of Trump’s life can be defined by the grudges he’s held. Nobody thinks about Rosie O’Donnell that much under normal circumstances. “When people treat me unfairly, I don’t let them forget it,” he told reporters during his presidential campaign in 2016. It doesn’t seem to matter that he’s often wealthier or more powerful than the people he’s holding grudges against. That’s not the point. The point is the revenge itself. “If people screw you, screw them back 10 times as hard,” he explained in 2011.

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Why Do Zebras Have Stripes? Turns Out We Have No Idea

Media organizations he doesn’t like suddenly find themselves blacklisted from campaign rallies and press briefings. One failed business deal in Mexico, and later he’s ranting about how most Mexicans are “rapists” who “bring in drug and crime.” When he won the Republican presidential primary in 2016, he took almost no steps toward reconciliation with his former foes, instead dishing out insults left and right to people he no longer needed to attack. And when Puerto Rico was stricken by a hurricane this summer, Trump dedicated a lot more effort than “none at all, are you crazy?” to a running feud with the mayor of San Juan.

Joe Raedle/Getty ImagesHmm … theres a Puerto Rican I dont get along with. Better screw over three million of them so she knows it.

When NFL players began kneeling during the national anthem, Trump didn’t just criticize the players like most conservative commentators; he focused a lot of his rage on the NFL itself, calling it weak and out of control. Which doesn’t make a ton of sense … until you realize that Trump has long held a grudge against the league for refusing to let him buy a team in the 1980s. And when he tried to buy the Bills in 2014, only to get outbid, he reacted the only way he knows how: with shockingly petty tweets about how boring the league was.

And then there’s the massive grudge he holds toward his predecessor, Barack Obama. Trump spent quite a bit of Obama’s first term cheerleading the birther movement because of, well … let’s say his passion for birth certificate formatting quirks. For some reason, he then attended the 2011 White House Correspondents’ Association dinner. There, Obama lit into him. For a solid two and a half minutes, Trump could do nothing more than slowly rock back and forth, tight-lipped, while Obama dished out insult after insult. The guy’s probably never had to sit through anything like that before, and the psychic impact it’s made on him can’t be underestimated. If you’re ever in any doubt about the motivations behind Trump’s actions as president, know that he’ll always do the opposite of whatever Obama would, be that building a health plan, entering the Paris Accords, or reading.

Decorate Like A Dictator

Being wealthy is great. You should definitely be born into that if you can. But it’s not enough on it’s own. You have to let people know you’re wealthy, so they know you’re better than them, and to go fetch you food and pelts. You can do that by shouting at them all the time (and you should; never stop shouting), but when your voice gets tired, or they simply get too far away, you’ll need something else. You’ll need to let your surroundings do the talking for you.

Which brings us the Trumpian aesthetic. The author of a book called Dictator Style identified a number of key design traits featured in the residences of most famous dictators: overly ornate decorations, big swinging chandeliers, marble everything, mismatched French furniture, that kind of thing. Decor which shouted wealth but not class, none of it presented with any kind of design or stylistic intent. And when this author saw pictures of Trump’s penthouse in Manhattan, he saw the same thing there. Vanity Fair even ran a side by side comparison of one of Trump’s mansions and a palace used by Saddam Hussein, and the similarities were not hard to find.

Vanity FairIts the aesthetic equivalent of shouting.

But The Donald does have one decorating quirk all his own: the desire to hang up obviously fake things, like this cover of Time that was proudly framed in five of his golf courses.

Angel Valentin/The Washington PostIt seems this was during Times brief First day using MS Paint series of covers.

It is completely fake. There was no Time issue printed on the date on the cover, and Trump was never on the cover of Time during the year it was supposedly made. And that’s not the only fake thing at his golf courses. Consider this sign:

Rob Carr / Getty ImagesAnd it is our great honor to do a modest amount of research to check if this is true.

Yeah, that’s fake too. Historians who know the area have no idea what battle took place there, and have never heard it referred to as the River of Blood.

Years ago, Trump’s biographer was interviewing the man on one of his presumably marble-coated personal jets. Hanging on the wall of the plane was a painting, a Renoir.

Pierre-Auguste RenoirSpecifically, the most famous painting by Renoir, which apparently no one is keeping track of.

The biographer knew this painting, and knew that the original was in a gallery in Chicago. But Trump insisted that this was the original, and wouldn’t take no for an answer. He didn’t get rid of it after being called out, either. The thing showed up on the background of an interview with his wife after his campaign victory.

Fox NewsNice to add a splash of color to the uniformly gold room of horror.

Eat Fast Food And Nothing But Fast Food

Every celebrity lifestyle guide is at least 50 percent bizarre ultra-healthy diet tips — exotic grains, free-range kale, and egg white omelets all prepared by their aboriginal spirit-nutritionist, Klevin. Trump’s guide would have a similar section, but y’know, the total opposite.

First, let’s discuss his taste in steaks: well-done, with a side of ketchup, which the flavor experts among you will recognize as “not optimal.” We’re talking steaks so well-done they used to “rock when they hit the plate.” Now look, elitism is shitty, in food and all other things.

Trump SteaksCase in point.

Not everyone likes their steaks mooing, so if a guy likes to eat his steak well-done, that’s fine. It’s fine.

The ketchup is a little much, though.

The other staple of the Trump diet: the 2,400-calorie McDonald’s meals he’s been known to consume. That’s multiple Big Macs, Filet-O-Fishes, and chocolate shakes. Kentucky Fried Chicken, pizza, and Diet Coke reportedly make up the rest of his diet, and if that describes yours as well, congratulations on already thinking like a billionaire, I guess?

McDonandsThough maybe we should make time for the Friends dont let friends order Filet-O-Fish talk.

There’s an interesting explanation for this love for overcooked meats and salt: Trump is a germaphobe. Imagine how risky an acai root indigenous power bowl or something would look to him, all covered in fruits and grains and stuff that clearly once touched the earth, all prepared by someone with their hands. You could then see the appeal of mass-produced, pre-packaged foods. Not if you think it through at all, but if you took a cursory glance at those two options, and you were absolutely certain that the first thought that entered your head was always 100 percent factually indisputably correct for all time, forever and ever, amen, you might see where he’s coming form.

Be Born With Superior Genes

If you had to pick the perfect human, the one person whose intelligence, grace, and physical attractiveness surpassed all others, it’d be Donald Trump, right?

Well, there’s a reason for that. Trump has good genes, as he’ll tell you himself. It’s part of his so-called “racehorse theory of life,” which states that some people are bred to succeed, thanks to the genetic material provided by their parents. We’re not reaching here. He brings up his genes all the time. His health? Excellent, thanks for asking, and a result of his good genes. Same thing with his energy! Luck? He was born with it! He once even said he had a genetic gift for real estate development, which … scientists are not really rushing to confirm.

Pawel Marynowski/Wikimedia CommonsInvestors, either.

Anything positive that his family does is proof of the same genetic greatness. He regularly mentions his uncle who went to MIT. His granddaughter, who’s learning Mandarin, is more proof of Trumpian greatness. His kids have inherited the belief too. Here’s his son going on about his incredible genes, including his mother’s fictitious Olympic skiing background.

This kind of thinking is a little troubling, especially when we consider another famous political movement obsessed with superior genes. Yes, it’s usually hyperbolic to compare people you disagree with to Nazis. But not when they actually believe what Nazis believe. To the millions of Americans who might not have perfect genes, it is a little disturbing that their president said, “‘All men are created equal.’ Well, it’s not true.”

Remember this?

CNN

That would be the president doing an impression of a disabled reporter. It was a joke, but you know, not a “ha ha” one. And he now sets policy for disabled Americans!

Fill Everything With Asbestos

Asbestos was once used as a fireproofing agent, because it is extremely effective in that role. It also causes cancer, and is extremely effective at that as well. But for some reason (it’s probably money), Donald Trump has only ever really cared about that first bullet point. In his 1997 book, he suggested the drive to remove asbestos was led by the mafia, which controlled the asbestos removal business. In his view, asbestos was “100 percent safe, once applied,” which is true about undisturbed asbestos. But it does have a nasty habit of getting disturbed, which lowers the safety level a few (dozen) percentage points.

Mark Wilson/Getty ImagesOf course, that assumes you take safety advice from qualified scientists. Trump is having none of that.

Which is why for a few decades now, we’ve had regulations mandating asbestos use and treatment. This makes it a giant and expensive pain in the ass for anyone who owns buildings, e.g. Donald Trump. And seeing as Trump isn’t a huge fan of spending his own money and also has a casual relationship with facts, you can probably now deduce how he’s taken this position. On that note, he was once sued in the 1990s by Polish construction workers who claimed they were exposed to asbestos dust without protective equipment. But that’s probably a coincidence.

Anyways, whether it’s science, regulations, or angry Poles, nothing has ever changed The Donald’s mind. He still loves asbestos, and is even on the record suggesting that it could have prevented the World Trade Center towers from collapsing on 9/11. He was even on Twitter about it, because he’s been on Twitter about everything. Whatever the opposite of a grudge is, Donald Trump has it for asbestos. Which means that if you want to be a winner, you’re going to need a carcinogen of your own to love.

RealDonaldTrump/Twitter#science

Exercise And Sleep Are For Losers

On the subject of exercise, Donald Trump has a very hot take: don’t. He believes that a person is like a battery, with a fixed amount of energy, and that unnecessary exercise uses that energy up. He’s even mocked others for exercising. When he found out that one of his executives was training for a triathlon, he told the man he’d “die young because of this.”

This lines up pretty neatly with the exact opposite of what scientists say, which is that while exercise might temporarily reduce your energy, it strengthens your body, thus allowing it to be stronger and store more energy in the future. You already knew that because you went to gym class once or read anything about food ever. But who are you going to trust? Scientists and common sense? Or a winner with confusing ideas about batteries?

And then there’s the matter of sleep. For a long time, Trump has claimed that he gets very little of it, from 90 minutes to four hours a night. You should probably do the same. And what can you expect to do with all that extra time you’ll have, being exhausted and grumpy? Well, if you want to be like Trump, you’ll makes deals and plot revenge.

New York MagazineEverybody knows 3 a.m. is the ideal time to sit awake, sharpening a dagger and reciting the names of everyone whos ever wronged you. Thats Business 101.

The American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends seven hours or more of sleep per day for an adult, which suggests that Trump has been wrecking his body and mind for decades now. Come to think of it, that does jive with a few things we’ve seen in the news …

Get a leg up on Donald Trump’s granddaughter and start learning Mandarin yourself with Rosetta Stone.

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agvbya · 7 years ago

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To her next “forever”:

Hey, I know you’re probably so confused as to why I would ever write anything directed to you, I now what youre thinking but just hear me out. The girl you’re with was someone who I once considered to be the love of my life, I once loved the girl you are with right now and I loved her with my whole heart. It wasn’t ever just a game to me. It wasn’t a relationship to pass the time, and although it had its fair share of complications, it was everything I wanted in my life then and all I thought i’d need in the future. But life got in the way and theres was nothing either of us could do to stop it from doing so.I’ve had my time to cry and wonder if I had made the biggest mistake of my life, if I should’ve kept on fighting or if this was simply the way of the universe telling me that there’s some kind of different plan for me, I still don’t know the answer to that but ill still wait for it.I won’t lie to you, it hurts. It hurts to picture her with someone else. It hurts to wonder if she says the same things to you that she once said to me, but im sure it will eventually stop hurting. Until then, I have some things I want you to know about her.Things you won’t know right away, things that make her happy and things that don’t, things that took one year for me to learn. I won’t say everything because I still want to keep certain things to myself. Take care of her for me, she likes warm tea, and bitter coffee drinks.. i never understood why. Her music taste is all over the place.. she'll even listen to your requests, just don't get upset when she doesn't like it, she can be brutally honest at times, learn to love it just like i did. She loves to be touched, in the most innocent ways at times. She loves compliments even through she says she hates them. tell her how beautiful her eyes are. update her on the gray ring around her pupil, tell her it looks smaller, she's always been afraid the gray will take over the beautiful shades of hazel and green. call her sweet names, she loves to be called baby, babygirl, and well everything in spanish. she thinks it sounds more genuine in spanish for some reason. She loves soup, specially " sopa de letritas" and " estrellitas" they all tasted the same to me but for some reason i started to enjoy those two the most. she doesn't have a specific favorite color, even though she says she does, she changes every month or two.. from red, to black to gray and every other one, and gets mad when you tell her that wasn't her favorite color a month ago. She loves chicken nuggets, not any kind tho.. she loves chicken nuggets from jack in the box and french fries from mcdonald's, also ask for some buffalo sauce at jack in the box.. it used to be our thing but you can make it yours because i know how much she loves it. she loves to be cold and absolutely hates to be hot. she loves the feeling of being under millions of blankets and be warm, but never hot.. if she does get hot she'll get in this whiny mood that gets fixed with the help of food and kisses. She has an obsession with puppies, it's so bad it can even make her cry. she'll steal your tshirts and hoodies, even though she might have the same one, she'll want to keep yours too. she obsesses over things she has no clue about, she loves starwars and harry potter but has never watched the movies or read the books. she loves musicals and i'm sorry to tell you you'll have to learn every song to them, don't worry though.. you'll start to enjoy them eventually. she loves disney and obviously Disnleyland, specially tomorrowland. she loves Aladdin and a Nightmare Before Christmas too, those are two of her millions of favorite movies. she knows every word to a lot of movies she'll make you watch, she'll recite almost the entire movie, do not get stressed or annoyed, you'll learn to love it, eventually you'll enjoy more to look at her than the actual movie. ask her about her favorite movies if you want an almost 2 hour rant you will for sure enjoy, not because of what she's saying but because she's just so passionate about the things she likes. she'll say your full name when she's angry. She'll hold your hand and compare the size of them, she has tiny hands and she loves it. she calls them her "baby hands" it's cute. She has an obsession with makeup, and you’ll know every brush and will know every name to each thing that goes on her face when you least expect it. She loves remembering old shows that she used to watch when she was a kid.. like Teletubbies and Rolie Polie Olie, we used to watch them late at night and for some reason we found them absolutely hilarious. She’s incredibly smart, its actually amazing how you can go from having the most stupid and pointless conversations to speaking about afterlife and the deepest things. You’ll have different opinions and perspectives, don’t let her change yours and don’t try to change hers because these differences are what make the conversations even better. She thinks a lot, like a.. lot so don’t give her too many bad things to think about, shell think about them 3 nights in a row. She gets sad, really sad at times.. specially at around 1:40a.m, just know theres nothing wrong with you, you’re doing enough… give her lots of reassurance, tell her everything is going to be fine and that you won’t ever leave her side, and when she wakes up shell be that happy beautiful girl that you love. She doesn’t like walking alone, she absolutely hates it for reasons that she will eventually tell you. She doesn’t trust people easily so consider yourself lucky if she even dares so mention the reasons as to why she doesn’t like walking alone. She can get scared at times, hold her. Make beautiful promises. Love her. I know you’ll love her but im sorry to tell you no one will love her like I did. Make her happy. Make her laugh. She knows how to fake her laugh by the way… if she laughs for longer than 5 minutes and continues to do so every once in a while after the joke is no longer even funny, you did a good job. She’ll laugh at it whenever you bring it up, no matter if its a month after it happened. Like I said, theres things Im not going to mention like what her hand gestures mean or what her eyebrows do when she’s excited, or how to know when she’s sad, happy, mad, disappointed or excited by just the sound of her voice… those are things you’ll put effort into learning. You’ll love them, I promise you will. she isn't this crazy girl that has done millions of drugs, and gets drunk every night. Understand that people don’t know what you know, imagine if they only knew that she spends those nights, drawing, painting, listening to music, watching movies and trying to learn every word to them. Also, get her the charcoal pencils.. she loves to draw with those, I still keep two of her drawings because I really enjoy them, but ill give them to you if you want them, although im sure shell give you some herself. she's more than a pair of pretty eyes and a nice body, i promise you she is. Im sorry to tell you I think I met the best her she has ever been...and last but not least, be careful. She can suck the life out of you in a matter of seconds. She can leave you hopeless, heartbroken and lifeless. She can hurt you as much as she can make you smile. She can make you miserable, she can make you believe as if you weren’t enough, as if you weren’t worth it. She can make people believe she is someone she’s not and make you look absolutely stupid when you try to explain it to them. between you and I, I still hope she comes back to me one day... but please take the risk, don't get too scared.. maybe you’ll change the only thing that I couldn’t. Maybe she won’t leave you like she left me, Good luck, and once again..you’re incredibly lucky.

Love,

Your girlfriend’s first love and shortest forever.

(a.g.v)

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somedaypast-thesunset · 8 years ago

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i just ... dont feel right inside of myself. like something is slowly leaking into my brain. yesterday i slept for a good portion of the day at his house, then went to sleep around 10pm. when i woke up yesterday it was to an alarm at 5:40. i told him the alarm had given me anxiety straight away - i had to search for the phone in my bag and couldnt find it right away.

he said it was okay and reminded me that its just because the day is starting and if today is not good i have to remember there is a tomorrow and tomorrow might be better. he told me that i have to remember not to give up and to keep doing what im doing because im doing good.

i dont feel like im doing good. i dont feel like im progressing like i should be but like.. i put some weight on medication solving many issues and it did but it did not solve the underlying issue which i think my doctor recognized right away.

and i really appreciate my doctor. i really appreciate that there is someone of professional studied calibre to say - hey, you know what. you went through a lot of shit. youre not fucked for not being able to cope. the majority of people dont go through what youve gone through. and they probably wont.

and thats it you know - like i want a level of sympathy but not pity. i want the understandng of how important it is to my life that i do not have parents or a family. that is a huge defining factor of so many things. and its not because i needed them to take care of me. thats not it at all. i am perfectly capable of caring for myself - in fact; ive done so for most of my life. i cared FOR THEM so its not laziness. its not me going out in the world and crying about how i have to be an adult. ive been an adult since i was 10. like since i hit puberty, ive been an adult. ive taken on adult responsibilities an handled adult situations since i was 10. and thats 17 years. my doctor brought this up himself - he recognized that ive had 17 years of dealing with trauma that most people dont deal with or deal with at amuch much older age when theyre able to cope. i grew up in trauma. i was built by trauma.

my doctor actually repeats it a lot - you lost both of your parents. like its not the excuse - its the reason why i am struggling. i dont need anxiety about why im struggling or why i cant get better; there is a reason. he is giving me the answer that im looking for.

last night i was very upset. he asked if i wanted to go for a walk or refocus or stretch or talk about it. but i just felt very very upset. i told him that i had felt very isolated for the past few weeks. but not because i spend time alone. i have no problem spending time alone. i was an only child, i learned to cope with being alone and i found peace in it. being alone is very peaceful.

but you dont be alone forever. you cant just _be_ alone unless you literally isolate yourself and live off the land. like you have to revert back to cavemen times to be entirely alone. and i’m not interested in that; people realized by banding together you accomplish more and i’m not going to go against proof of a millenium of years. so people; all people - every single person is important. they might not be important to YOU but theyre important to SOMEONE so theyre important, you know? everyone is important; everyone i meet will affect my life in some way.

but this isolation is not in a lack of meeting people. ive been around people. ive had options and choices to be around even more people. but when im around people and i try to relate with them or have a conversation ... i dont care? like i care, i care about whats happening with them but like i have no sense of relation to them. like theyre hanging out with cousins or family or they have this wedding to go to and their cat dies and its the worst thing that happens or their grandma dies and people are sooo sympathetic and thats not my experience of life? like i have not had that experience of life. so i’m carrying a lot of resentment and bitterness towards life itself right now. and i feel like i have to reprogram myself to be okay that i didnt have the exprience a majority of people have and continue to have. so its kind of an ongoing battle to be like - hey, its okay you dont have a mother. its okay you dont have a father. its okay no one really cares if youre dead or alive. just keep doing you.

i guess in some ways im envious of people who have good mothers. i always wanted to have a good mother. and you know what? it would be amazing to have a good mother right now. even as an adult. that would be really nice. i feel like if i had a good mother i could sit down and chat with her and she would be invested in my life and give me weird advice i dont know if id take but maybe i would and she’d make cookies or maybe shed buy cookies and give them to me but either way im getting cookies. and then you know maybe at the end she slips me 20$ for bus money or something - you know moms and i go off to work or something.

i’m not really asking a lot of a mom, i guess. i have pretty low expectations. it’d be great if they didnt hurt me. i feel like ive been hurt a lot. even by my father - maybe unintentionally. like it hurt that he didnt care enough to be well. and he couldve. he really couldve. i feel like there was a lot of senseless death around me. i feel like no one cares. like people literally died because no one cares. thats how serious life is. i cant unshake that. its not like a belief i have. its my truth. its what ive lived.

but im not delusional, you know? i can obviously see people caring. like the bubble i grew up in - no one fucking cares. not a single ass person givesa fuck and i think we were all developed in our own ways to not give a fuck beyond ourselves because maybe this whole bubble was just survival.

but i can see it exists. i can see its not beyond a human being to care. i can see it with my own eyes so thats also a truth. but i feel resentful its not a truth for me; as much as i’ve tried to have it be and not just with my parents and not just within my bubble. but it cant be the whole truth because life has variables.

like i feel very attached to him right now because he is a variable. and i hate to create this like.. level of heavy importance on who he is and who he is to me because to me it feels like life or death. not that iw ould die. its very unlikely i would kill myself over him. like ... theres too many other reasons for it to land on him, honestly. but its life or death of my hope in the world as i know it. this is like the one last shot, one last chance of being proven that not every person i meet is going to be an asshole. that i have atleast the CHANCE for love, support, care & understanding.

but thats because of who he is. not because i came into it with the hope that hewould do this for me. i never had an expectation for him - ever. i was pretty fed up and just kind of went with whatever was going on in all of life. but he became a variable because as i got to know him, i realized how good of a person he is and how much he cares for me.

one of the biggest things that gives me so much... i dont even know. like something good that is undescribable. he is not like.. some next level person or anything. hes just a normal guy, but because hes capable of being ... i dont even know if its mature or adult because adult men older than him have been worse and have been worse to me. like, to me this is transcendent in a very deep scar that has been within me for a long time regarding men and sex.

i have been treated terribly in most of my relationships. if not all of them. and a good amount of that treatment has come in the form of sex. men have not given a single fuck about me in a relationship when it comes to sex. i am an obligation. they deserve sex because theyre in a relationship with me and thats what we do. thats just how it is. even in terrible times, you know? even in the worst of times, they’d still be trying to fuck. and its fine - really, maybe thats a nature of a man. but if it is - and you overcome that nature to display a level of fucking respect, thank you.

i think he understood before i said it last night, but i described it outloud - i have bigger problems than your passive need for an orgasm. life is a lot bigger and harder than this. it’s a lot more real. he had made a sarcastic and joking comment when i was scrolling on my phone (in view of him, on instagram) to stop talking to all my boyfriends. my gut reaction was a very stern, rolling of the eyes kind of “sure”. i understood he was joking but to me it was so stupid - so stupid - that even as a joke i wouldnt entertain the idea of it when i do in fact feel anxiety on a constant basis to a point that even thinking about other men or other people in such a way is a waste of my time and something i’m really not interested in. having “more” boyfriends or additional relationships honestly progresses nothing in my life. the relationship and friendship i have with him is acknowledgable as incredibly important.

i think weve had sex once in three weeks. not because no one is interested in being physical, and not because we’ve become distant in any way, but because its not the most important thing to do right now. its not really really necessary. i believe he almost understands it as just a physical need that is natural like a sneeze or take a shit. which sounds terrible, sex should be more than that - and it is, but when you’re overcome with the need or the urge for such a thing, you may be lonely or you may just have an urge - like an urge for eating mcdonalds or chocolate. you dont need to satisfy that urge by creating multiple parterships and fucking all sorts of people. it can be as simple as jacking off and moving on in your day.

though, truthfully, i enjoy having sex with him. he’s created a trust level that has allowed me to sincerely enjoy it and when we have sex, even when it’s a quick thing, it feels like he really appreciates that i’m offering my body to him. whether or not i was still fairly asexual, whether or not i had an inherent desire, i was still offering my body to him for him to use. it’s hard not to feel like you’re in a passive/submissive position when you’re the one being prodded; even if you take enjoyment from it. but maybe its just me. i dont know. regardless i feel lik the position is respected.

sometimes, i feel like a true ‘queen’. he treats me so well and has given me such legitimate deep care. when i speak about even the few things he does for me, on his own accord, i feel like there are some who are envious / jealous and try to express somethig their boyfriend does for them; like it’s an one-up contest. instead of appreciating that there’s someone - anyone - in my 27 years of life who gives a fuck enough to show me such treatment, they try to extole the virtues of their own partners.

but there are some i feel appreciate it. why shouldnt i be treated like that? why shouldnt he braid my hair, feed me fruit, make me cakes, dance with me to flashdance when im sad? why? i didnt ask for any of these things (i asked for cake) - why dont i deserve someone who wants to do these things? not only does he do this - he frequently, if not on a daily basis, looks at me in clear honesty and tells me i look pretty or that my clothes look good, or my hair looks nice. if i manage to put on makeup, he always acknowledges it. if i dont, i’m still told i’m beautiful.

one time he told me it and i told him he always tells me it when i kind of look terrible - like i havent showered in a few days or i forgot to brush my teeth or wash my face or brush my hair. i’m a mess, most of the time. he told me he could see “underneath all of that”, as a joke.

he was - and told me - he’d talk to that girl last night. i fell asleep and he was awake for maybe a half an hour or so but i dont know if he did or not. i truly dont care. i feel like the only reason he cares is a perceived notion tht i have something aganst her personally; which i dont. her existence only matters because of his past connection to her, otherwise i wouldn’t know of her at all. and his past connections are so far in the past and so meaningless to the present that i legitimately dont care. thats not his life or my life or our life anymore.

and i guess thats kind of a way i grew as a person. and he might not even realize that, which is okay. but like - i’d definitely, in the past, hold a lot of resentment and bitterness and distrust in a person who has done some of the things he has done. but he’s never lied. and that’s like.... that’s real. he has never once even attempted to hide or lie anything. ever. and knowing things makes life better. knowing whats happening around you and why and who the person youre dealing with is and why they do things and what theyve done before - it’s a choice. you can choose to be involved when its all laid out or you can leave. your choice. are you hurt or do you move on?

i really appreciate that level of honesty for once in my life. for all the liars and theives ad fucked up people ive been around, i need that. and i am a mostly honest person with him. which is bad. like to use mostly is already bad. and if i was entirely honest, it’d probably be okay, but i have shame in what i did. and again - no interest in being with others, so i’ve not been with anyone since weve been together. i havent even spoken to other people.

this morning he asked how i felt. i said about the same. but he let me wake up in a more natural way instead of rushing me or waking me up himself and it helped a bit. as he was driving me home he said something like, “baby girl, even though you’re upset you still have to find me funny”. i told him i wasnt upset. he said “well sad or unwell or whatever, you still have to find me funny”. as i got out of the car, he repeated that he loved me a few times and to have a good day. i told him to text me later, he told me he’d call and see how i was doing.

his concern makes me feel like at least taking a shower is worth doing in my day.

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trendingnewsb · 7 years ago

Text

Donald Trump’s 6 Very Real, Very Insane Tips For A Good Life

Oh, it turns out he can.

Never Let Go Of Your Grudges