#theres just a bit of fluff here im sorry

[awrkive]

THE LOVE PROGNOSIS, fin. — JJK (m.)

for as long as you can remember, you’ve always been a hopeless romantic.

the girl who’s always dreamt of cheesy encounters with her soulmate, grand love declarations, and a cute little beach wedding to boot. but reality pretty much slaps you hard right on the face, because love, unfortunately, doesn’t come grand — it’s simple and it’s quiet, but it is quite painful, especially when the love that you’ve been seeking for all your adult life has just been right under your nose all this time.

PAIRING jungkook x female reader // mingyu x female reader

GENRE r18+ (angst, fluff, smut) MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

CHAPTER WORD COUNT 43.2k idcccccc atp😭 take ur time!

CHAPTER WARNINGS/MISC medical!au, roommates!au, surgeon!jk, surgeon!reader (they are both 4th year residents and are co-workers), corporate lawyer!mingyu, oc and jk are bffs since med school but their love language is fighting each other <3, jk and mingyu are bffs during undergrad, hopeless romantic!oc. dont read further warnings if u dont wanna be spoiled: ANGST. im aware i kinda overkilled it here but uh.. hear me out! explicit sexual content [ male mast*rbation, oral s*x (f&m receiving), making out, dry h*mping, penetr*tive s*x (protected and unprotected, missionary, cowgirl, doggy, spooning), a bit of c*mplay, jk <3 boobs, ily kink (redacted) cries during sex lol ]. FLUFFy fluff fluffff 😖 some of the scenes give very much like 2000s romcom vibes but idc sue me also theres a #merder reference ifykyk

NOTES we have finally reached the end! sorry it took me a month to get this out sjdfhd but its here and its long as fuck n im so proud of this and happy that i finished a series!! for once!!! will always love my silly tlp couple and the characters 🥹 let me know ur thoughts on my inbox oki and circulate by liking and reblogging if u enjoyed reading hihi ty ok bye enjoy reading!🫵🏼🫵🏼 [ important: pls make sure to read the note below ]

[ SERIES MASTERLIST ] // [ MAIN MASTERLIST ]

A day passed since the fiasco at the villa happened and Jungkook and you have acted like total strangers since then. The rest of your friends easily took notice of it; the silence between you two on the ride to the airport, the not-so discreet way you avoided each other at the waiting area, even going as far as exchanging seats inside the plane when on any other day, you two didn’t mind being close together physically. 

Jungkook knows absolutely that the avoidance is doing you both a disservice. You’re both grown adults and going to extreme lengths to ignore each other – like not even looking at the other when you bump in the hospital hallways – is a one-way ticket to your relationship’s foundations crumbling. 

That thought terrified Jungkook so much that he decided to come clean tonight. Talk to you properly when his mind is cleared and there was no Mingyu to aggravate his thoughts and project actions he’s not necessarily proud of – because the fight was juvenile, he knows that. Him committing and giving in to violence is not something he wants you to see, no matter the context. You were right when you said that was not him, and Jungkook can’t have you thinking otherwise.

When he steps in front of your apartment door, he thinks if you’re already there. He isn’t entirely sure. You two haven’t seen each other at the hospital and you haven’t been texting him either.  You might still be doing your rounds, he thought, but when he opens the door to your unit and trudges his feet to the living room, he catches a sight of you going out from your bedroom.

The two of you freeze upon seeing each other, but Jungkook’s surprise soon turns into confusion when he notices the carry-on luggage in your hand.

“Oh, you’re here,” You utter, filling the silence in the air. “I was just going.” 

“Where?” Jungkook instantly asks, taking you both by surprise. 

But you quickly recover. You give him a small smile – but what Jungkook clearly sees is a wince.  

“I’m going over to my sister’s,” You must’ve seen the way Jungkook’s boring holes at your pink luggage, and so you take a glance at it momentarily, tugging on the handle to scoot it over closer to your side. You clear your throat. “I’m staying there for a while.” 

Jungkook feels a certain weight drop on his shoulders, his lips parting at your declaration. 

“__, i-if this is about what I said, you don’t have to leave—”

You cut him off quickly. “No. It’s not that. I just… I just need some time away.”

Even though he doesn’t like the implication, he gets you.

Blinking, he thinks what to say next. Jungkook doesn’t want to say the wrong words – he’s well aware of the fact that he's put his foot in his mouth back at the resort, and he’s not fucking up the second time around. 

While he intended to talk to you tonight to address the elephant between you two, he also understands completely why you need time for yourself. It was too much. He told you a lot of things and he can’t expect you to process all of them in a single day.  

So, he nods, still stricken, heart heavy when he looks at you again. “Okay.” 

“Okay.” You repeat, voice a little louder than him. A pregnant pause, and you’re pulling up the handle of your luggage again, the wheels gliding on the floorboards as you begin to head towards the door to your apartment.

Jungkook doesn’t mean to sound so alarmed when he suddenly blurts out, “Now?” 

He doesn’t even know why. It was the obvious. You’ve packed your things – you’re heading out. But he couldn’t stop himself. It’s like there’s a sense of fear clouding his mind the more this moment of you leaving stretches out further.

You stop on your tracks, blinking at him. “Y-yeah?” 

“Oh.” Jungkook feels his hand itching to do something. Something stupid like grab your wrist gently to make you stay. 

But he knows that’s futile. He doesn’t have the right to make you stay if you don’t want to in the first place. 

“Seokjin’s actually coming in a few minutes,” you tell him, glancing at your phone. “My sister’s still at work, so she made him pick me up.” 

Jungkook can only give you a nod.

It makes sense for your brother-in-law to come pick you up. It also makes sense for you to stay over their place considering that their apartment isn’t that far from the hospital and you won’t have a hard time commuting to work if you planned to stay there for a little while. 

He wonders, though, why you aren’t staying at Doyeon’s instead… he doesn’t know if you’ve talked already, but from what it seems, you aren’t talking to the rest of your friends, either; judging by the way he hasn’t seen you together with any of them at the hospital. Taehyung had suggested that maybe you just need time, to which Doyeon and Nayeon agreed to. Jungkook can’t help but feel bad, though. You’re seemingly coming out isolated at the end of his own doing. If you’re avoiding your friends just because of him, that would be extremely unfair to you. Taehyung, Doyeon and Nayeon are just as much as your friends as they are his, and during these times, you should feel comfortable taking solace in their friendship like how he’s leaning on them currently.

Guilt washes over him at the thought. He can’t bear thinking about you hurting in the process of all of this. He just wants so badly to make it up to you, for you both to be okay again. You didn’t even have to acknowledge what he said – about him being in love with you. You could totally ignore it and act like it never happened, go on about your days like nothing changed as long as you’re by his side.

It hurts. It hurts that even when you’re just physically within his reach right now, he can’t seem to get a hold of you. And he has no one to blame but himself. 

A phone rings and Jungkook watches as you fish out your device from your pockets. 

“Must be Jin.” you say, picking up the call. You exchange a few words with your brother-in-law for a few seconds before hanging up and looking at him again. “He’s outside already.” 

Jungkook nods, biting back the words that consist of something stupid like “don’t leave”. 

“Your car…?” He hesitates, remembering how you’d drive to work. 

“It broke again yesterday. I’m actually… uh… thinking of just selling it. Get it over with.”

Your car. You mentioned your parents have turned it over to you during your junior year in college. It always broke in the most inconvenient times – like the one time you had a bad date, and you panicked-texted him about the car towing company not picking up. It was a Sunday and Jungkook was supposed to go over some paper works, but he scrambled out of his room to get you – and he didn’t regret it one bit because you were actually crying the moment he arrived. You had been overstimulated, what with another failed date and your broken car – it was all too much. And you just needed Jungkook to be there. You told him so. 

Jungkook cherishes those moments a lot. Not because you cried in them – he always felt like it was a punch to the gut whenever he sees you even an ounce of upset – but because it tells him that you trust him with that vulnerable side of you. It means he’s important enough to you to let him in your life. It’s one of those moments where Jungkook truly steps back to reevaluate your relationship – because sure, it could be merely friendship to anybody, but Jungkook doesn’t really think so. Your bond runs deeper than friendship, and he doesn’t even mean romantic. It’s the… camaraderie. The partnership.

He could’ve confessed a long time ago – that’s what people kept saying, but what they don’t know is that he has so much to lose. You are more than just the woman he would love to kiss and make love to or call his girlfriend – you’re the love of his life, you’re everything to him. And if he can’t have you in any way, he’d truly break. 

And now that everything’s said and done – with him finally baring his truth to you – it’s come to this.

You, leaving.

The silence that follows pricks Jungkook’s skin like needles, and the creak of your steps on the floorboards ring in his ears – a daunting harsh whisper of your farewell – although it’s just temporary. 

But something worries him. 

What if it’s not temporary? What if during your stay at your sister’s place, you decide to completely get rid of his company for the good and better? 

It’s all those frantic thoughts that urges him to call your name, but he doesn’t expect your voice overlapping with his as you say his name at the same time. 

Jungkook’s lips curl up slightly. “What is it?” 

Predictably, you wave your hand at him. “No, you first.”

“It’s okay.” 

Your hand hovers over the handle of your suitcase as you pass by him, stopping on the threshold of your apartment. “I just…” you trail off. You look at Jungkook for a moment. “I just wanted to say bye. And uh… that… I drank all your banana milk in the fridge. But I’ll wire you the money later. Or buy you another batch and I’ll give it to you at the hospital or—”

Jungkook cuts you off by calling out your name, broken by a laugh of amusement. His first smile today, maybe. You look at him wide-eyed. It’s fascinating the way you have him completely wrapped around your finger and you’re not even doing anything.

“It’s fine. You don’t need to wire me anything.” 

“Oh... well, I’m still sorry.” He nods, giving you a small smile. “What was it you wanted to tell me, then?” 

Right now, he forgets what it was even all about. “Just, uh, please tell your sister and Seokjin hyung I said hi.”  

Jungkook doesn’t want to delude himself into thinking that your face flashed a look of disappointment for the briefest moment after he said the words. At the back of his mind, he thinks you were expecting more – but he knows he’s reaching, grasping for straws, and he’s just desperate for anything from you he can’t really rationalize his line of thinking. 

So with a final wave of your hand – a bit timid – you turn around and open the door to your unit, and Jungkook watches as your form disappears completely, leaving him stoned in his position in the middle of the living room for a long time; head empty, body numb, until he gathers time to collect himself and finally move over to the bathroom, where he takes a cold shower in hopes for an improved mood.

It didn’t really do anything, and he found himself having a hard time sleeping – waking up randomly during the wee hours of the morning.

When he stirs awake from his blaring alarm at 5:30, he’s nothing but adrift.

It feels weird when he goes to the kitchen and he doesn’t see you, as he expects you to be there in whatever worn up shirt from high school you still have, making toast or some quick breakfast – with your playlist playing from your phone – but you weren’t. 

And Jungkook remembers that would be the case for another few days to come. Something he has to be okay with.

For the meantime.

He hopes.   

Jungkook doesn’t get drunk often, but now, his friends are assuming he is. For the record, though, he is not drunk and they are just exaggerating. Sure, he’s staggering and he’s mixing up his syllables and grammar – but he swears he just feels a little woozy.

“Jungkook,” Doyeon calls him, laughing a bit. “Come on, Taehyung’s driving you home.” 

“Don’t want to,” He says as he takes another swig of his fifth canned beer he’s been consuming since they all arrived at the barbecue place. “I can handle my alcohol.”

Which — fair. That’s not new news. But still—

“No shit, you have a shift tomorrow at eleven in the morning. Don’t be stubborn. It’s time to go home.” 

“It’s fine, I’ll Uber back.” 

Jungkook watches as Doyeon rolls her eyes. 

“Are you really moping right now?” 

He sends her a glare – one that she predictably does not take seriously. “‘M not moping. You’re moping.” 

“And I’m Kate Bush. Taehyung, can you just drag Jungkook out of here? I think he’s gonna cry any minute now and the auntie is closing. We gotta go.” Nayeon butts in, and even though her words may seem harsh around the edges, she looks at Jungkook with a concerned gaze. The playful atmosphere from earlier now dissipating.

Jungkook appreciates the warmth that he gets from Nayeon’s gentle approach to everything – but right now, all it does is make him feel pitiful. Doyeon’s right. He is moping. Moping for something that should’ve been within his control in the first place.

“Man, you know you bench way more than me. I can’t carry you out all by myself if you’re all drunk and shit.” Taehyung nudges him on the shoulder, enough to make Jungkook move from his seat. He only grumbles.

Doyeon sighs. “What do you want, Jungkook? Call __? Tell her you’re getting wasted and come pick you up?” 

Jungkook visibly flinches at the mention of you.

Ever since they arrived at the restaurant, Jungkook has noticed that his friends have been deliberately omitting your name in the conversation – until now, anyway. He thinks they all planned this spontaneous hang to “cheer him up” or whatever the fuck Taehyung said on their way here – which seemed like a slip-up, because Doyeon had hit the back of his head lightly right after saying it. 

They’re walking on eggshells around him like he’s some kind of house of cards – one nudge and a blow and he comes crumbling down.

Jungkook hates getting doted on like this. It’s not like you two broke up. They just knew that you went to stay at your sister’s place for a while and you never said when you’re coming back. He hasn’t had any encounters with you at the hospital nowadays – you’re getting good at hiding from him and the rest of the gang, and every single day bleeds into countless sleepless nights. You’ve been gone for five days; no calls, or at least a text. And it seems like you deactivated your IG. You aren’t tweeting or reblogging shit on Twitter as well. You’ve gone completely silent – and with every waking moment that Jungkook spends a day without your presence, it feels like you’re slowly slipping through his fingers.

“No.” he glares at the three of them. Standing up, he feels his vision dancing at the sudden action.

Well. Maybe he is sort of drunk. A little. 

“Hey, man, let’s go.” Taehyung ushers once again. This time, Jungkook acquiesces but with a groan. Nonetheless, he lets Taehyung wrap his arm around him to prevent him from tripping on his own feet.

When Jungkook manages to stand firm on the ground, he shuts his eyes tight to get a hold of himself and once again look at Doyeon and Nayeon who are still sitting by the table. With a confused expression, he asks, “Thought we’re all going?” 

“Minhyuk will pick me up.” Nayeon says. Jungkook nods, directing his gaze to Doyeon.

“Somebody’s picking me up, too,” When Jungkook squints his eyes at her, she rolls her eyes. “Don’t start. Tae, drive safely, okay? You didn’t drink, right?” 

Taehyung shakes his head and gives both women a reassuring nod before they head out of the building when goodbyes were bid, with Taehyung still pressing a hand on Jungkook’s back because he’s still a bit unstable on his feet. It’s not bad, though, Jungkook doesn’t think so. He just feels dizzy and shit, but it’s not anything water can’t solve.

Fuck, now he wants to get in bed as soon as possible. After a cold shower. 

“Sorry, man.” he says as he plops down on the passenger’s seat, buckling the seatbelt around himself. 

Taehyung comfortably settles on the driver’s seat, adjusting the rearview mirror a bit before starting the engine. But not after he responded to Jungkook with a snort, “It’s fine.” 

It’s a quiet car ride and Jungkook can already feel his eyelids threatening to fall, the haze of sleep already clouding his mind. He can’t recall how far it takes from the restaurant to his complex, but soon enough, Taehyung’s voice wakes him up from his stupor. 

“You okay there?” 

Jungkook hums, leaning back to relax his nerves. A minute flies and he sighs loudly, making Taehyung look at him momentarily.

“Don’t sleep on me. Again, I am not willing to carry you all the way to your apartment, fucker.”

That makes Jungkook laugh, a snicker escaping past his lips. It makes Taehyung do the same, scoffing at his friend as he did so. The car ride continues into a stretched-out comfortable silence before Taehyung breaks it with a question of, “You two still haven’t talked?” 

Jungkook stiffens at the mention, and he knows his friend notices the way he did, but he quickly tries to shake it off. “Yeah. She’s still at her sister’s.” Taehyung nods. When Jungkook looks at him, he decides to ask, “What ‘bout you? She reached out yet?” 

“No.”

Jungkook inhales a sharp breath. 

This is bad. You’re ignoring all your friends because of him. 

“Sorry.” Jungkook says after a pregnant pause.

“What for?”

“Dunno. Feels like it’s all my fault,” a sigh escapes past his lips again. “You guys don’t deserve to get caught up in this.”

“Jungkook,” There’s a lilt to Taehyung’s voice that reminds Jungkook again that the man beside him is older than he is and sometimes, Taehyung can be way more mature, almost like an older brother. He forgets their age difference most of the time. “Don’t say that.  __ just needs her time. She’ll come around.”

The smile Jungkook gives his way is bitter but it’s a smile, nonetheless.

“I don’t know, Tae,” He leans his head back on the seat, staring at nothing in particular. “It’s different this time.”

“You’ve fought before,” Taehyung points out. “How is this different?” 

Jungkook does know what he’s trying to point out. He may be referring to the time in third year of med school when you didn’t talk to him for a month – but still. This, right now – whatever is happening – is far from what happened back then.

“Just different,” He shrugs, a poor attempt at nonchalance so Taehyung doesn’t think he’s being pathetic. “I feel like this is it.” Taehyung looks at him curiously when the red light turns on. It makes Jungkook squirm, but he voices out what he feels, anyway. “I’m losing her.”

That felt weird the moment it slips his tongue. For the past few days, it’s been in his head – making up the mess of his thoughts. When he said that, for once, it felt like finality. Like its verbalization actually made it real. 

He does feel like he’s losing you. And it feels like the absolute truth.

“You can’t say that when you haven’t even talked to her, Jungkook,” Taehyung says and he says it so firmly. When Jungkook studies the older guy’s face, it’s etched with sincerity, especially when he adds, “Do you really think she’ll let go of an almost decade-long relationship just because of what happened? Frankly speaking, even if she does not feel the same way about you at all, I know her enough to know that she’ll have at least the decency to let you down properly. I think she’s just trying to think all of this through. She’ll talk when her head’s clear.” 

Jungkook finds himself processing his words. You are exactly like that. You’re the type of person to need your personal space when you’re confronted by huge predicaments. When he thinks about it – you have so much on your plate. Mingyu, him, your relationship with each of them; Jungkook realizes things must be so hard for you right now, both emotionally and physically. And you’re dealing with all this while still showing up for your rotations.

“You’re right.” Jungkook whispers. 

“Just… time, okay? You both need time.” Taehyung says and for once, Jungkook smiles a genuine one. 

The light turns green, and Taehyung continues to drive. 

Taehyung decided to turn up his jazz playlist and it eased Jungkook’s mind a bit. But it did lull him to sleep all the way to his apartment complex. Thankfully though, it only took Taehyung a few seconds of nudging him before he stirred awake, disoriented when he opened his eyes only to hear his friend say they were already there, ushering him out of his car. 

He said his thanks to Taehyung, and his friend made sure to tell him to take it easy before he took off. When he was gone, Jungkook went straight to the elevator to press his floor, mind and body working on autopilot as he sauntered over the hallway to stop in front of his unit.

When the door opens, he feels a sense of calmness at the sight of his own place with everything at his disposal including the bathroom that he quickly head towards, not hesitating to strip himself naked on the way to the shower, letting his clothes form a heap on the threshold; bare and naked without a care in the world.

Stepping into the shower box, he turns the showerhead on, hissing at the cold water spraying onto his skin. He needed the cold to get rid of his sluggishness – and it works just as instantly as he’d hoped. 

Both of his hands shoot up to brush his hair off his forehead, and he stays in that position for awhile; with the water running on his body and his head leaned back a bit, eyes closed as he relaxes. 

He mindlessly reaches for his shampoo bottle, but when he opens the cap, he smells a completely different product. What welcomes him when he opens his eyes back again is the familiar sight of Bath and Body works bottle. Your water lily springs body wash.

Despite his current headspace, it brings a smile to Jungkook’s lips.

Right.

He’s noticed in the past few days that you left it in your shared bathroom. Considering all the things that you still have around the apartment, it didn’t really look like you packed a lot of things when you left – which should ease Jungkook’s mind. Still, though; the small size of your luggage and the quantity of what you brought with you do not matter when you still aren’t home. 

And with that, Jungkook feels himself slipping back into… mulling again. And he can’t help but heave out a sigh. 

He just… wants to rest for tonight. Just wants his head emptied out. Relax. He feels like he’s been on edge for the longest of time and he just needs some sort of – he’s not sure – comfort? Maybe something along the lines? 

And as if his hand has a mind on its own, he grips the bottle of your body wash and squirts an ample amount on his palm, the scent of water lily springs surrounding the confined space of the shower immediately. 

He lathers it all over his chest, inhaling the gentle waft and how it weirdly calms him from the inside. The room smells just like you. He smells just like you. And it isn’t the first time he’s doing this – he’s always liked the way you smelled, and he may have used your body wash by accident countless of times. Jungkook sometimes does it just to tease you – because you always point it out when you notice that he smells the same, and then you get all irritated and it makes Jungkook keen because you’re just so goddamn cute when you glare at him and when you get mean. Teasing you also means that you’d get mad enough to sulk at him, and that gives him the opportunity to make it up to you; and making it up to you means he gets all of your attention. 

It’s pathetic but Jungkook’s not ashamed to admit that – just to himself, though. He likes when you give him attention, can you blame him?

His mind goes back to the memory of you cuddling with him on the ground at that random playground near your complex, how you snuggled up to his arm, giggling and threatening him to stop using your body wash. He remembers all the times you would cook together on nights when you’re both free – lounging on the couch mindlessly, either watching a show and debating over useless, stupid stuff – or when you would force him to rub your foot or massage your neck. Jungkook doesn’t relent until after you complain for a good five minutes. He’s gotten better at pretending overtime that he doesn’t look forward to touching any part of you.

At that thought, he recalls the way your back felt on his hands when he rubbed sunscreen all over it when you were at the resort. How the plane of your gorgeous skin felt so smooth to the touch, how you make him feel even with just the slightest baring of your skin. 

Jungkook shuts his close when his mind goes into overdrive.

You. You. You and your bikini. You and your short shorts that might as well just be panties in disguise. You and those cute little, tight camisoles you always wear around the apartment. How he could just sometimes see the outline of your nipples where the thin material of your shirt clings to. How your bare legs look so good when you cross them while reading the paper on a Sunday morning by the kitchen island. How your breasts look like they could fit in Jungkook’s big palms with a bit of overspill – enough to drive him insane. 

These are the thoughts in Jungkook’s head as he continues to lather the liquidy texture of your body wash all over his body – and when his hand finally nudges the dick in between his legs, he groans. 

He’s not a stranger to getting off to the thought of you – you’re a gorgeous woman and it doesn’t really help the fact that he’s been in love with you for god knows how long – but it doesn’t mean that he does it guilt-free. He almost always feels like shit afterwards. 

But he can’t help it. Not when you’re all over his head again. Not when he’s thinking about how good it would probably fucking feel if he could just have a taste of your plump lips. How it would feel if he could just suck on your neck, paint you with his love there, down to your cleavage then play with both of your tits with his hands – be greedy with it – get your nipples rock hard and pretty tight for him, suck and latch and nip and lick them, make sure it’s all wet before he goes down more south. 

God. He thinks about it all the time. How’d it feel to go down on you. You’re so fucking pretty he could just imagine how gorgeous you would look down there, too. Were you the type to like getting eaten out? Jungkook hopes so. Because he would do everything to satisfy you. Fuck, he’d be so good to you. He’d tease your clit with his thumb first and you’d tell him that you’re aching for him bad – and he’d cave in and get his first taste with the flat of his tongue and fuck. You probably taste so good he’d crave it for days to come. 

The next thing Jungkook knows, he’s holding the base of his cock firmly, feeling it getting harder every second. It grows in his hand as he continues to think about eating your pussy, imagining the sounds you’d let out, how you’d look extra beautiful getting fucked by his tongue. Shit. He’d do it so well if you just asked. 

Jungkook traps his bottom lip with his teeth as he starts teasing his own cock, already in its full mass, hard and standing tall against his abdomen. He can see the shiny texture of his tip, precum leaking out, begging to be touched. He doesn’t wait any second to thumb the liquid off his head, letting out a half-sigh, half-hiss at how sensitive it felt, especially when he runs it over the veiny base.

Inhaling a sharp breath, Jungkook steps back a bit to cup his balls, squeezing it just enough to make him close his eyes. He repeats the motion of sliding his hand up and down his erect cock, feeling himself getting wetter at every second that passes. 

He gets a picture of you on your knees, and as he pumps himself at a slow pace, he imagines it’s you instead kneading him. You have slender fingers and pretty nails, it would feel so much better if they were wrapped around his cock right now. Your nails would scrape against his length, and you’ve held hands enough times for Jungkook to know that his hand is significantly bigger than yours, so you probably won’t fit all of him in your hand – but that’s alright. You’d tease him on the tip instead, spread his precum all over, get him needing and wanting more. 

Jungkook’s hips start to buck as he speeds up his pace, this time jacking himself harder as his mind jumps to more thoughts of you  — but this time around, you’re not on your knees: you’re pressed on the glass wall of the shower box, your ass bent for all of him to caress and squeeze, and you’re craning your head to look at him with hooded eyes, lips parted into a gorgeous “o” as you beckon him to come closer and put his hard dick in your warm, tight, and aching pussy. 

“Fuck.” Jungkook curses as he lets his forehead fall to the wall, resting there for a few good seconds, other hand scrambling to turn off the shower and quickly shutting his eyes close as he pictures himself thrusting into you instead of his stupid fucking hand.

“Shit, shit, shit—” He hisses, hand going faster around his length, pumping himself desperately to the thought of his dick sliding in and out of you.

Your moans would fill the tight room, and you’d sound so pretty. You’d be so pliant against the strong arm that he would wrap you with — and Jungkook would make sure to flick your nipples and fondle your breasts as he pounds into you from behind.

“Fuuuuck…” 

He grunts and he moans, hand impossibly going faster — dick getting harder. He just wants a release. He wants to cum so bad — to kiss you and love you and have you say it back with the same earnestness as him. 

Jungkook wants so badly to have you in his arms right after he eats you out, to cuddle with you and pretend like you have all the time in the world after he’s made sure to make love to every single inch of your body. To caress your hair and press a kiss on your head anytime he likes – because he’s allowed to. Because you love him. He just wants to be able to touch you in any way possible. Run his fingers over your back, kiss your cheeks, and your scrunched nose. Just wants to bury his face in your chest after a long day at work. Hold you tight against him. Have you close to him, whenever and wherever. 

But he doesn’t have all that. He can’t have all that. Not when you don’t even feel the same. Not when you reacted that way when he told you he loves you more than just his best friend. 

“I’m sorry, but I just can’t wrap my head around it. You’re not telling me the whole truth and frankly, I don’t believe you.”  

Your words ring in his ears as he continues to jack himself. 

The memory is still so vivid in his head — the surprised look on your face — certainly not the pleasant one. You were so… surprised. And angry. Like you didn’t believe any of what he said. Like you were trying hard to convince yourself that whatever you were hearing from him wasn’t true. 

Because she doesn’t feel the same way. Jungkook thinks.

He remembers the night you left. How you could barely look him in the eyes. 

“Shit—” Jungkook hisses as he squeezes his balls, hand pumping faster around his swollen cock. He closes his eyes as he tries to regulate his breathing, his stomach tightening at his impending release – and it’s the last thing he does in favor of his own sanity before his mind slips back again to life without you in it. 

He would never have you. He can never be anything to you anymore. 

He will never be, especially as he looks down at his hand on his cock.

How pathetic.

What would you think if you were to see him right now, getting himself off by imagining it’s you instead? You’d be so disgusted. You’d look at him like he’s a different person and feel betrayed because – how could the person you trust think about you like this? 

There’s that sense of self-hatred again that Jungkook feels whenever he jacks off to you. That fear of you finding out and not liking it. 

Jungkook tugs at his cock angrily as he thinks about all that, and he doesn’t notice that the stinging in the sides of his eyes would soon turn into tears running down his cheeks as he tries to reach his climax. 

You would hate him so much. You don’t even like him anymore. Don’t even want to live with him anymore.

But he just wants to cum so bad. Just wants to feel some sort of clarity. Delude himself into basking in that quick dopamine. 

He traps a sob in his throat as he makes quick work of his cock, and with one last squeeze around his tight balls, he shoots his hot cum to the wall, hips bucking at his orgasm. 

Letting out a series of hushed curses, Jungkook continues to pump his cock for more until he feels sensitive, and his dick turns soft and languid against his legs. 

He grabs the shower head to spray the cum off the wall, feeling the water already turning lukewarm. When he finishes cleaning his mess up, he grabs your body wash and exits the shower, throwing the bottle in the trash can with haste as if it burned him. As he turns back around, he catches sight of himself over the lavatory’s mirror. 

There are dark circles under his eyes — not too visible — but they’re there. His eyes are red from crying, and suddenly his body itches. He should shower again and actually clean up this time.

But Jungkook realizes as he stares at himself again… he has never looked so tired. Not even in med school. Or during internship. 

This whole thing is taking a toll on him – he knows that well by now. Even his friends do as well. He’s fucking up his sleeping schedule and he’s not even eating properly. He hits the gym not because he wants to but because it helps shut down his head.

Jungkook sighs. 

He’s long accepted that the love he holds for you is so big it sometimes borders on piteous. He’s spent so many years going into this kind of phase where he just mulls over the same thing; that he loves you, but you will never ever feel the same way back.

And the thing is, he's always been okay with it. Jungkook loves loving you. He’d be a fool not to when he genuinely thinks that you were made to be loved.  

But at this point, he just feels… tired.

Exhausted. Empty.

He wants to sleep. He wants to rest. He wants to wake up the next day and not feel like shit anymore.

Maybe Doyeon was right back at the villa.

It is time to move on.

And maybe… just maybe… unlike all the other times he’s attempted to do the same thing, this time around will be successful.

Your 7am to 2pm shift had just concluded when you arrived at your sister’s place, only to see them both all dolled up, ready to go out.

They told you that you could come with them if you liked, but of course you refused. You’re not the type to interrupt a date and they were certainly too in love for your liking. Don’t get you wrong, you love that for both – but you’re getting pretty sick of romance these days and you’re trying to avoid it as much as possible. Seokjin made sure to throw another one of his “Don’t mope around, okay? We have Macallan in the cupboards. You know the one.” jokes, though – having already known why you’re here in the first place – and your sister pinched his ear painfully enough for you to ignore and roll your eyes at him lightheartedly. 

Which leads you to now, binge-eating a left-over tub of vanilla ice cream on a Sunday afternoon from last night’s impulsive purchase. You know it’s going to make you feel like shit later, but you can’t really bring yourself to care – not when the ice cream tastes too good paired with a Sex and The City episode. 

You like to delude yourself you’re the early season Miranda; independent, boss bitch, career-driven, straightforward but kind. But you had a mortifying realization that maybe you’re actually Carrie. You’re both so obsessed with love and glorify the idea of “The One” that you overlook red flags in a guy just to stay in a relationship. And for what? To be completely broken and fucked over in the end of it all. 

But you don’t want to be Carrie – sure, she has a special place in your heart as a fictional character but real-life Carries, with all of their delusions and ideals, are not meant for the real world.  

“You’re watching that show again?”

You almost fall over the couch when you hear a familiar voice behind you, and when you crane your neck to look who it was, your eyes widen.

“Mom!” you exclaim, rightfully surprised. Your mother – in the flesh – smiles as she sees you grin. “Oh my god, I didn’t know you’d be here— wait, how’d you get inside?”

She waves you off. “You know your sister and Jin gave me a duplicate key to their place. Anyway, I’m just here to drop off some side dishes. Also, I know what you’ve been up to. And stop eating that ice cream.”

You pout, taking the tub away from you. When you see her walk towards the kitchen with her bags – presumably the side dishes she was talking about – you follow behind her steps, helping her load the containers in the fridge. 

“What do you mean you know what I’ve been up to?” 

“You and Jungkook fought, I heard.” 

“Mom,” you say with a tone that tells her you don’t want to talk about it at all. 

“You know I’m going over there shortly to give him these, right? Supposed to be for the both of you, but oh well, you’re lounging around here.” She says. 

“I’m not lounging around here. They love that I’m here.” You counter, referring to your sister and Seokjin. It almost sounded like a whine, though, more than anything. But it was true! They like you being here! They’ve always treated you like their child… but you know you’re kind of pushing it with your sixth-day-stay. 

Your mother looks at you disapprovingly, loading the last container before shutting the fringe doors shut. 

“Whatever you’re fighting about, you know avoiding it is not going to make it better.” 

You sigh. “I’m not even sure if we’re fighting, anyway.” 

“What’s that mean?” Your mom asks, sounding confused. You can imagine.

“I don’t know… just – I don’t think we’re angry at each other.”

“Not being angry at each other is worse than being angry at each other. That sounds like withdrawal.” 

You wince at her words. “Maybe.” 

Your mom sighs. She takes out a bit from the container of stir-fried zucchini and slides you both a plate. “Have you been eating real food? You look like you’re not eating properly.”

Teenager and college you would’ve rolled your eyes because she always says that you’re losing weight and blah blah blah, but it’s not even true. However, you do know she’s just concerned, though, and so you nod your head, picking up a zucchini and eating it.

“Yes. Jin’s a good cook.”

She nods, eating as well. “So is Jungkook. He hasn’t talked to you at all?” 

You thought you’ve dodged the topic of Jungkook completely but apparently your mom’s still on that. You nibble on your bottom lip as you think what to say.

“He… uhm… he didn’t text or call.” Well. There was one time. Two days ago. And it was just a simple text about informing you of the sudden change in the OR schedule. You replied to it with a thanks and a smiley face, but he didn’t say anything after that — not that your thanks should guarantee anything. That was not exactly a conversation starter.

Still. 

“Have you talked to him?” 

Shoot. 

You shake your head a bit. 

The truth is that you can’t be sad about Jungkook not reaching out when you haven’t been doing the same thing either. You’re running away from him – you can admit that. The past week hasn’t been your proudest moment. You’ve thought it over countless times; why you just can’t go ahead and speak to him – because heck, for eight years you’ve always done a good job at it, communicating with each other when things went wrong. Like when he teases you too much and you actually get offended, and the same goes for him.

But what happened wasn’t just something that came out of a supposedly lighthearted banter. It wasn’t your usual banter at all. 

“What happened, sweetie?” And this time your mom’s voice is bordering on concern. 

You don’t look at her when you say, “Jungkook said he’s in love with me.” 

You don’t get a reaction. At least – the reaction you were expecting. You thought she would gasp, or at least let out an, “Oh”, but there’s none of that. When you peer up at her, she just nods. 

As if the news was no surprise. 

“And I take it didn’t go well?” She looks at you gently. 

“N-no,” you stammer. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you say, “It was – it was so messy that day, mom. You know we went to that resort for his birthday, right? He and my boyfriend fought, and just – so much happened. I don’t even remember half of it. Just that he told me he’s been in love with me for the past eight years.” 

Your mom nods. “Your boyfriend… is that Mingyu?” 

“Yes.” It feels weird to call him your boyfriend now. You used to be so giddy calling him that. But right now, it feels almost icky. 

“Why did Jungkook and him fight?” 

You told her what Jungkook told you – everything, and your mom is sweet almost all of the time but as she listens to everything that Mingyu supposedly did and say – especially about you – she can’t help but knit her brows in that quiet anger you know all too well now. But it soon dissipates to worry. 

She steps closer to you. You look at her with a sad smile. With that, she encloses her arms around you, and you let your chin fall on her shoulder as you reciprocate her hug. You almost cry when she squeezes you. “How are you feeling then, sweetie?” She asks, voice so gentle and soft. Comforting. You think this has been what you needed all this time.

“Like shit.” you chuckle. “I’ve never been so tired. I haven’t even talked to Mingyu yet – I haven’t been talking to anybody, even my friends. I don't know why I’m like this.” 

“You know I worry for you.”

“Hm?” 

“You’re such a lovely, sweet girl. And these men keep breaking your heart. I wish I can ease your pain, honey. You have the biggest heart in the world.” 

You nibble on your bottom lip as you feel that stinging in your eyes at her words. You remember Jungkook saying almost the exact same thing.

“Jungkook told me that sometime ago.” you say, holding back the cry you know is coming out any second now. 

“He knows you well.” She says as she caresses your head. 

“I just…” you let out a sigh again, trying to shake off the oncoming tears. “When he told me he loved me all this time, I said I didn’t believe him. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I still can’t.” 

“Do you think he would lie about something like that?” 

It’s firm and final when you say, “No.” Because you know in your heart that was true. Jungkook is anything but a liar. And especially about something like that… you just don’t think he would ever hurt you intentionally. That’d be cruel and Jungkook was never cruel. It’s just not in his nature. 

“Hm. Then is it because you don’t feel the same way at all? That’s why you can’t believe it?” Your mom asks and it’s the most groundbreaking question you’ve ever heard after a while. 

Do you just… not feel the same way? 

That was definitely the biggest question you’ve been avoiding answering. 

But as your mom pushes you slightly so she can look at you earnestly, gently, like she has no expectations whatsoever – just here to hold and comfort you – it beckons you into spilling your emotions. 

“I… I really don’t know, mom.” You intake a sharp breath. “He’s been a constant presence in my life for eight years. We’ve never– we’ve never considered the possibility of being more than just friends. I– I don’t know why he would love me. Or fall for me. He’s never shown interest, the way I saw it – but these days I’ve been rethinking that and I’m beating myself over for being stupid because it’s like – how could I have not known? He’s always been so caring towards me. Always makes time for me. He’s never let me down and he’s just – he’s my person, mom. Always has been. And how could I have thought that he didn’t mean for that to come off as purely platonic?” you stop, feeling your lips wobble. “It’s just… I don’t know. I don’t know what to feel. All I know is that these days without him have been so painful, especially when we haven’t properly talked. I miss him everyday and it kills me that we aren’t like before right now. I want to be by his side all the time, and I think I may have taken that for granted for the past eight years we’ve known each other.” 

You don’t realize you’ve let out so much, but your mom just lets you snuggle closer to her, knowing that you’re feeling a lot right now. And you do. You haven’t talked to anyone about what you really felt – not even your sister, even though you knew she did her best to do so – but as your mom soothes your back with the gentle rub of her hand, you let yourself be comforted. 

“You know what I think, honey?” 

You look up at her with teary eyes, nodding weakly.

She gives you a small smile. “Do you remember that time when I thought he was your boyfriend when you brought him for Christmas?” 

Nodding, you chuckle. Second year of med school it was. Eunwoo was in Switzerland for a a big project – and Jungkook’s parents weren’t in town. You both didn’t have anybody to celebrate Christmas with and so you ended up asking Jungkook to come home with you. 

It wasn’t just your mom who thought he was your boyfriend. Your sister and Seokjin also assumed the same thing. 

Around that time, you haven’t introduced Eunwoo to them yet so basically, they didn’t know that you were taken already. 

“I think this is just me being old… but you kind of… you get to know these things, __. You’ll see somebody's eyes, they way they gaze at somebody. When we were opening those gifts during Christmas eve, I saw the way that kid looked at my daughter with so much adoration that I even thought you were just being coy about him being your boyfriend.” 

Your lips curl into a tight line. 

You… certainly did not notice any of that. Did that really happen?

“I think Jungkook’s a good man, and your dad is fond of him – he asked me yesterday if you’re gonna bring him for Thanksgiving or Christmas, he misses his chess buddy, it seems. No pressure, though,” your mom chuckles. “But Jungkook’s smart, kind, polite, works hard, really charming—” you laugh again, despite yourself, because that’s definitely true. He charmed your parents so quickly with ease. It’s just really about his pleasant personality that attaches people to him. “But most especially, he makes you really happy. I liked that Jaehyun guy and Eunwoo because they made you happy when you were together. Up until they didn’t. I only like people who are good to you, sweetie. That was why I liked your ex-boyfriends for a while,” She begins caressing your head again and you feel like a little girl again, finding comfort in your mom’s bedroom after a bad day at middle school. Your mom smiles softly before she continues, “But those men hurt you. And they leave you. And you know who hasn’t in the past eight years? The only one who’s been consistent in making you happy?” 

It’s Jungkook. He’s always been under your nose while you cried over other men, and he was there to support you through it all. He’s the one who makes you laugh at his stupid jokes. The one who sits with you in your feelings on days when you don’t feel your best. He’s the one who lets you cry on his shoulder when a surgery doesn’t go well, the guy who would drop everything for you with one text or call, the guy who gifts you stupid, stupid random things because they reminded him of you. He’s the guy who shares his playlists with you, comments silly stuff on your equally silly posts, and he’s the only one who has never, ever made you feel like you’re not enough. He’s the only one who has never left and hurt you. 

It’s always been Jungkook. 

Your mom doesn’t need to say the name, though, just one look at you and she knows you're thinking the same thing. 

It’s during midday at the hospital when you see Jungkook again.

The elevator dinged and the doors finally opened on your floor, but you froze in your position when you saw who was inside the whole time. 

It was Jungkook, sitting slightly on the handrails while crossing his arms. His posture straightened for a bit as he met your eyes, looking equally surprised as you. But then he recovered and relaxed in his position just as quickly. 

You couldn’t read the look on his face.

Taking a hold of yourself before the door automatically closes, you stepped a foot inside the lift and pressed on the button of your floor immediately. The 7th floor button is lightened up, so you assumed Jungkook was gonna get off earlier than you since you were going down on the sixth floor. 

The confined space had never felt more suffocating. You could feel there was something in the air – a thick tension that was getting too hard to bear every second you felt the elevator moving down. 

There was a lump that formed in your throat, especially when you caught a glimpse of the reader going floors down fast, and the 7th one was nearing. 

Your heart beat erratically against your chest. You didn’t even feel that nervous back in the OR twenty minutes ago.

But you figured it was the first time you felt close, after all.

It was funny, really – what you felt at that moment. Being physically close to Jungkook had never made you feel like that – like you’re on edge – you’ve always just approached it as something natural, like you were meant to be that way. And those times, you never really thought about the contact ending. 

But in that moment, it felt like he was slipping away – even though you were not even holding him in the first place. 

It was probably why you let out your next words, craning your neck to the side to try and look behind you where you knew Jungkook was at. 

“I miss you.” 

You barely said it. Felt like just a soft whisper as the words slipped past your lips, but there was a break around its edges – like it was the most vulnerable thing you’ve ever said. 

It was. 

And you didn’t exactly know why you did it. 

Maybe you just wanted him to know. Maybe you just wanted him to understand that… that you were still there. And that you missed him. Every single day. Regardless of what happened. 

There was a thick silence that hung in the air after that, and you should’ve taken back your words right after they came out. Embarrassment should’ve clouded you by then. But you couldn’t bring yourself to do so. 

That was as honest as you could get. 

You didn’t even expect a reply – assuming that maybe Jungkook hadn’t heard it. 

But you heard the soft tap of his steps on the floor and felt his overwhelming presence coming near you. And just like that, you knew he was behind you. Close. A hair's breadth away. 

Then, you hear him let out a soft sigh, and you could feel his breath brush against your ear as he leaned down. You never realized how much you craved his affection until you felt him slightly nudging his cheek against the crown of your head. 

It made you keen. Made you shut your eyes close. Basking in the moment, but you didn’t ignore the pain that it caused. 

Because somehow, despite what might seem like a sweet gesture – the whole thing felt like goodbye.

It was so intimate, though, that you almost forgot that you were currently on the 8th floor and he was dropping off on the next. 

The elevator dinged like a wake-up call. And when you opened your eyes, Jungkook had already peeled his body away from you. Nibbling on your bottom lip, you fought the urge to cry as you saw him walking out. 

Before the door closed, he took one look at you. His mouth opened, as if wanting to say something. You waited. But he closed his lips again, not bothering to look back for even one last time before the elevator doors closed in front of your face. 

The interaction left a certain melancholy in your heart, and it made you run on auto-pilot when the elevator stopped on your floor. 

You never expected for the encounter to happen – but it did, in its own way. And now you have to deal with the consequences of your impulsive actions.

Your mindless walking has led your feet to somewhere a bit secluded. It’s far across the hall, and you recognize it as some old, empty ward. You and your friends have one on the 5th floor but you don’t think you’ve never really been here before and so you weren’t sure.

But you’re desperate to let out a good cry. Maybe not exactly cry – but just be alone for awhile. The hospital and your schedule are busy enough as they are and it’s enough to keep your mind occupied since the morning – but that interaction with Jungkook at the elevator reminded you of the weight that you’ve been carrying lately and you just… want to dissipate a little. Even if it means sacrificing your three-minute lunchtime. 

You don’t suspect anything as you twist the doorknob open – surprise to see it’s not locked like you thought it would be. 

And the sight leaves your mouth hanging open. 

“Oh my god.” 

“What the fuck.” 

“Shit!” You watch as Doyeon pushes off the man wearing a white lab gown on top of her – a very familiar figure that you can only recognize as none other than the attending surgeon Dr. Kim Namjoon. 

A panicked, “I’m sorry!” leaves your mouth before you turn on your heel, ready to fly off the scene when you hear Doyeon’s voice calling you from behind.

“Wait, __!” 

You hesitantly look back.

It’s obvious what they were doing before you entered the room. Doyeon’s hair is unusually out of the ponytail she always shows up to work with, and Dr. Kim… Jesus. He’s always been so intimidating to you – with his tall stature and his aura that reeks so much of authority, even though he doesn’t even try, it feels so fucking weird to suddenly see him with his hair all mussed up when it always looks kempt every single time you see him along the hallways of the hospital. Right now, he looks coy, like he’s shrinking himself as he avoids looking at you.

“Dr. __, I am so deeply sorry,” His apology sounds so remorseful that you feel bad for even having to barge in. You can see Dr. Kim fumbling with his coat as he looks at Doyeon like he’s looking for help. Doyeon looks at him, but she just… rolls her eyes.

“Joon, just–” She cuts herself off, shutting her eyes close. Seemingly agitated. Or embarrassed. You don’t know why you’re still here. “You should leave now, I’ll talk to __.” Doyeon lets her gaze fall back to you and your eyes widen at the declaration, not really knowing if she was serious or not. 

You mean… what are you even going to talk about? Sure! You’re shocked as fuck to see them together in that position but you’re not about to ask her about her sex life!

… Okay. So maybe you are a little bit (only a little) curious about that.

Dr. Kim has always been a mystery to all of you. Taehyung and Jungkook admire him so much, the latter lowkey idolizes him at this point. Nayeon has always spoken highly about him and you’re literally a fan of all his work in his field, especially his books. It doesn’t help that he’s attractive as hell, too, and you all may have gossiped about him at one point in your lives – so sue you for being curious! You’re just human.   

“You sure?” Dr. Kim says, barely spoken, but you don’t miss the gentle way he holds Doyeon’s shoulder as he asks that, the way his face contorts into a concerned expression when he looks down at her. One quick interaction and you instantly realize that oh… this is serious. 

They’re not just having casual sex in this ward.

This is Doyeon’s boyfriend.

Your bestfriend nods at him and you step aside to give Dr. Kim some space to leave the room, still visibly stunned. You thought he was going to leave when he utters another apology again. 

“__, I’m really sorry about this behavior. Doyeon and I—” 

Doyeon groans. “Joon, oh my god. It’s fine.” 

You watch as Dr. Kim’s (who Doyeon apparently calls “Joon”— what the hell) lips fall into a thin line. “Fine. I’ll go. We’ll talk about this later, alright?” 

“I know.” 

He gives you both one last glance before the door closes on you.

You swear you tried to look for cameras everywhere – like they do in The Office – to see if the whole thing was a prank. But no. Your life’s unfortunately not a sitcom.

“I told him to lock the door earlier,” Doyeon starts, sounding defeated as she falls back on one of the emergency beds. Sighing, she covers her face with her hands. “This is so embarrassing.” 

At that, you can’t help but react immediately. 

“You’re embarrassed about the fact that you’re fucking an insanely stupid hot, intelligent man?” Your brows knit. 

Doyeon looks at you and you both stare at each other. She holds her own, like she usually does, but for the first time ever, she breaks and chuckles. The laughter turns hilarious, and you follow her into the bed. 

“God,” she utters. She licks her bottom lip and looks at you shyly. “I didn’t mean for you to find out this way.” 

“I mean… what did you mean to do instead?” 

She hesitates. “I’m not sure.”

You frown. “So, you just… you just weren’t going to tell me? Us?” You didn’t bother to hide the tone of disappointment in your words. Doyeon looks a little ashamed when you verbalized that.

“It’s not that. I just didn’t know how,” She says. You knit your brows in confusion. “You know I’ve always been… private about my dating life or whatever. I don’t tell you guys I’m dating until I’m sure the guy and I are official. I… I don’t even date a lot in the first place.” 

Well… that was true. You nod at her, giving her a reassuring smile. “Yeah, I get that.” Doyeon smiles a little. “How long?” 

There’s a pregnant pause before she says, “Uh… since Feb?” 

“Jesus.” She winces at your reaction. You stare at her with your jaw slack. “What the fuck, Doyeon? Nine months?”

“Well, technically, eight but—” you look at her dryly and Doyeon gives up on her attempt at being facetious. “Okay. I’m sorry. It just happened.” You raise your brow at her. She sighs. “Okay, so we may have hooked up last year in December. You remember the Christmas party at the Ritz?” 

Your mouth just hangs wider, looking at her incredulously. Every drop of information she lets out just grows your surprise bigger, and you have nothing in substance to say except, “You… whore.” 

Doyeon laughs so loud you worry it might have been heard from the outside, but you wince at the slap that follows on your shoulder as she giggles nonstop. 

“Shut the fuck up, oh my god.” 

“No– I just– Oh my god, was that the reason why you bailed on our own Christmas party over at Nayeon’s?” She nods at your question with her lips pursed. You scoff, still not believing it but just overall amused in general. “You’re really throwing me a curveball here, babe. Like – I have never ever heard you talking about Dr. Kim except when you said you’d totally fuck him in that one drinking session. And then, you actually fucking did.”

She rolls her eyes, scoffing. “He started asking me out on dates in January and he asked me to be his girlfriend in Feb. I don’t even know how it happened. It just did,” She shrugs, as if she just said that the skies are blue. “I’m pretty good at hiding, huh?” 

You don’t hide the way you instantly frown.

“I’m happy for you, Doyeon, I really am. But… did you not feel like you could tell me? Or any of us?”

At least she looks apologetic, nibbling on her bottom lip before she says, “It’s not that, __. I didn’t know how to tell you guys. There’s this – there’s this thing when you date a co-worker, especially in the hospital. He’s an attendant, and he’s about to be chief of surgery next two months, you know that right? And it’s just— I know you will never think it, or the rest of our friends – but I just. I didn’t want anyone to think that I’m… that I’m sleeping my way here, you know? It’s fucking weird. And Ms. Yan from fuckass HR hates me for some reason. I’d be public enemy number one around here, __.”

You wince hearing her explanation. Nodding, you rub her shoulder to offer some kind of comfort, noticing that she’s actually silently fuming just by the mere thought of that. Meaning she must have been thinking about it for quite some time now. 

“But you know we’ll never think of it like that, right?” You confirm with her, just to be sure. You love Doyeon – she’s basically your sister at this point – and you don’t ever want her to feel like she can’t trust you.

“Of course. I don’t… I can’t really offer you any explanation other than I got scared and just wasn’t ready. Joon wants to let people know… and I don’t know. I guess I’m thinking about that too nowadays.” She says, and she’s not really looking at you anymore, seemingly deep in thought.

You begin rubbing her back. “It’s fine if you’re not ready yet.” 

“Oh, this is getting kind of mushy. I hate it.” Doyeon says dryly. You push her slightly which sends her sideways a bit, earning a laugh from her.

“Joon, huh?” You decide to tease to lighten up the mood. Instead of backing down and getting shy like you expected, Doyeon raises her brow. “Can I be honest with you, though?” You say, fiddling with your fingers. She nods so you tread lightly to your next words. “This will sound crazy, I know, but for the longest time I thought Jungkook was your secret boyfriend.”

“What the fuck?” Doyeon says, sharp and almost… disgusted. You don’t expect such a reaction. 

“Okay, you don’t need to sound so disgusted. Jungkook’s a good-looking guy and he’s very decent.” You say, sounding weirdly defensive – even to your own ears.

“No– that’s not what I meant—” Doyeon cuts herself off with a laugh. “That’s actually really funny, though.” You look at her curiously. “Somehow, I thought about you thinking that. Especially after that time at the villa when you walked in on us talking by the pool deck.” 

“I…” you try to come up with an excuse, something to deny her claim, but nothing comes, and your eyebrows knit in confusion because you actually don’t know yourself why you felt that way back then. You still remember the weird feeling that flared up in your chest upon seeing them in such an intimate position — with Jungkook’s head on Doyeon’s stomach and her caressing his head. Maybe you’re more malicious than you let on, but can she really blame you for thinking there was more to that? Besides, Jungkook’s second closest in the group is probably her. It made sense to assume they were secretly together. 

“God, don’t,” Doyeon says incredulously. “Obviously, he’s not my secret boyfriend. I don’t like him and he does not like me, at least not that way. That man only has heart eyes for you and I’m only into Namjoon, thank you very much.” 

You wince. “Sorry.”

“But were you really jealous that time, though?” Doyeon asks, intrigued. “I mean, I thought about it. You were acting weird. But I kind of just shrugged it off.”

“I was not jealous, what the hell,” you quickly say. “I was just surprised. And you’re both really close, so I don’t know.” 

Doyeon arches her brow. “You’re also both close, so going by that logic, are you two together?” You frown at her. She laughs, knowing she proved her point. “Alright, enough about that. How have you been these days?”

You stare at her before sighing.

“I’ve been wanting to say sorry.” 

“Damn straight,” she tells you immediately, like she’s been looking forward to it. “Like, you bitch– I thought you died. Not talking to me or to anybody for a week is crazy.”

“It’s not my proudest moment.” 

“Why?” 

You subtly inhale a shaky breath. “I… to be honest? I thought you guys were mad at me.” 

“What?” You can hear the incredulous tone Doyeon’s taking on. And you slowly realize that you completely just conjured a whole ass narrative in your head the whole time. 

“I know. I feel terrible about it. But I just… I couldn’t help but think that I ruined… things.” 

“Oh…” Doyeon says, and she cranes her neck down to meet your gaze as you’re tucking your head down slightly. “Why did you think that?” 

You open your mouth and close it, trying to find the right words.

“I… know I was completely being ambitious when I said I wanted to bring Mingyu along to the trip – and I realize I shouldn’t have done that. Our relationship was still so fresh, and I was already bringing him along to what was supposed to be our vacation. And the fight happened and the whole thing just went to complete shit. We didn’t even get to spend our five nights there because you guys had to book us a flight immediately and I just… I guess I just feel so bad about it. Had I not invited him… the trip would’ve been way more different. Happier, that I’m sure of.”

“__,” Doyeon calls your name firmly. “That was not any of your fault. Sure, you should’ve consulted with us – because I’m not gonna lie, you threw us in for a surprise when you said that Mingyu was coming, but that fight was not your fault. At all. They physically fought each other on their own accord, even though they knew they were already too grown to be doing that shit. Don’t feel guilty about what those men did.” 

You bite your lip. “Still. They— uhm. They apparently fought because of me. It’s stupid.” 

“Exactly. But… Mingyu kind of deserved it. Sorry.” Doyeon comments. 

You wince. “You know?” 

“Jungkook told us about it, yeah.” Doyeon says, as if hesitant to even mention his name in the conversation. 

You sigh. You’re not really surprised. “Did he… did he tell you guys… everything?” 

“He did.” Doyeon confirms. “It’s not actually new news for us, __.” 

You look confuse when you meet her gaze. “How do you mean?” 

She presses her lips into a thin line. “He’s in love with you. We’ve known for a while,” You stare at her, mouth agape. Doyeon reluctantly adds, “Since med school.”

“Oh.” You close your eyes for a moment. “Even Nayeon?” 

She nods. “Yes.” 

You’re silent for a while before you look away. Nodding, you whisper, “I see,” You sigh. “I don’t even… I’m not even surprised about that. Even my mother knows — I mean, Jungkook didn’t tell her of course, but she said she knew he had feelings for me.”

“I think… everybody knows, __.” Your eyes fall to Doyeon. She gives you a gentle smile. “Everybody who sees the way Jungkook looks at you immediately knows right away. He doesn’t have to tell someone he likes you for them to know that. Taehyung and I figured it out ourselves as well. And then Nayeon met you both and she did the same thing. Just had to fish out the confirmation from Jungkook himself.” 

“That’s…” you trail off, not really knowing what to say. “I’m really stupid for not noticing all this time, huh?”

“Hmm… maybe. Sort of. But also, not really. I guess it must’ve been just different for you. We’re just bystanders of your interactions — when Jungkook teases you like a fucker it’s easy to assume he’s flirting with you, but it must’ve been annoying as hell for you.”

You chuckle a bit. But it’s with fondness as you agree, “Yeah…”

“He sucks ass at flirting.” 

“I agree…” you trail off. “I – well, you probably know, but I told him I don’t believe him,” Doyeon hums, listening in. “I regret saying that. It really hurt him. But… who can blame me, Doyeon? I mean, am I not right for having doubts? Being confused? I mean, okay, yes, I was taken for the first four years we knew each other but I was— I was available two years ago and he didn’t— he didn't do anything. Why didn’t he do anything?” The words are coming off as a rant, you’re fully aware, but you let yourself go, anyway. “He was dating all those women and I just… how am I supposed to believe him when I thought he showed me the opposite?” 

“You mean how were you supposed to believe him when he sleeps around?”

You shut your eyes close. “I don’t– I don’t necessarily think he sleeps around, okay? Jungkook’s not a fuckboy or someone who sleeps with anyone with a pulse. He’s too grown for that shit. But I… I just meant, that… he dated a lot all throughout the time we knew each other, so where was I in the equation? You know what I mean?”

Doyeon stares at you for a bit, then she nods, looking ahead. “I know what you mean.” 

“Yeah?”

She nods. Then, “Are you worried he’s not sincere about his feelings? Because he dated a lot of people?”

“I-I’m not sure about that.” But maybe, that thought bothers you a bit.

“When was the last time he was with somebody?”

You don’t mean to sound defensive when you retort back with, “I wouldn’t know that. Contrary to popular belief, Jungkook and I do not actually talk about everything, and that includes our sex lives, but I know when he’s… seeing somebody.” 

“How?” Doyeon asks, looking at you. She wasn’t trying to trick you into anything, just genuine curiosity written all over her face.

You shy away from her gaze. “Four months ago… Nayeon’s engagement party. He was checking that woman out.”

“Oh… Kwon Jihyo?” 

Your brows furrow. “You know her?” 

Doyeon nods. “Yeah. Physio class back in freshman year. I talked to her at the party as well,” you grow more confused and Doyeon adds, “Also, she’s gay. Married with two kids.” 

“Oh.” 

That earns a chuckle from Doyeon. Tapping your arm, she tells you, “You don’t have a gay radar, it’s fine.” 

“Oh my god…” you slap a hand on your forehead. “I teased him about sleeping with her after the party…” 

You’ve always seen Jungkook as a regular ladies man in your head due to the fact that he gets women, quite very easily. Empirically, Jungkook goes on a lot of dates. But to be completely honest with yourself, you don’t even know the extent of those said dates. Jungkook doesn’t exactly oppose it when you lightheartedly tease him about being a playboy, but you do notice when that puts him off a bit.

Maybe you should’ve pried – maybe he gets put off because it’s simply not true? But you don’t think it’s not not true either, so… do you really think he sleeps around?

“Look,” Doyeon suddenly says which makes you look at her, snapping you out of your own messy thoughts. “I’m not trying to defend him or put in a good word for him or whatever. But I do know that you know him better than I do, so I’m sure you don’t actually think he isn’t sincere about his feelings for you. If you’re worried about his dating history, talk to him about that – but if we’re going by technical definition here, I don’t think Jungkook sleeps around, __. He doesn’t have a new woman switched out for another every seven business days, does he? Or is that a wrong assumption—”

“God, no,” you roll your eyes at her. “And anyway, why are we talking about this? I don’t care who he has sex with. He can do whatever he wants. He’s a grown man.”

“Yeah… but you just said it’s sort of the reason why you’re holding back.”

You feel blood rushing to your cheek because… that is true. You don’t even know why. Because you stand for what you said that he can do whatever the hell he wants. He’s young and he’s objectively attractive and he can have sex whenever he wants…

But somehow, that very thought — of Jungkook being with anybody that way, suddenly made a weird feeling flare up in your chest. You’ve never really paid it mind before, but right now that you now know what you know…

“It just kind of hurts a bit, I guess.” You say, not looking at Doyeon. “I mean, it’s irrational, really. I don’t expect him to be celibate for the eight years he’s claimed to love me, that’s just insane. I’ve also had sex with other people throughout the time and it would be unfair of me to dwell on the fact that he’s been with other people in the past when I also have but… it’s just… you know…” you trail off, and you feel like you’re gonna burst with so much embarrassment from the thoughts running through your head.

“I know… what?” Doyeon says, trying to fill in the gaps.

“I guess I just…” you swallow the lump in your throat. “I guess…. I guess I just expected him to want only me.” 

“Oh.” you look at Doyeon. “Oh wow. That’s…” 

You huff. “It’s childish, I know. It’s so stupid – I can’t think that. It’s unfair for him.”

Doyeon shakes her head. “No, I mean, I get that. I get that completely,” She scoots closer to you. “You have to know, though, that for the past eight years, Jungkook has tried many times to move on from you.” That words felt like a bucket of cold water. He’s tried…? Doyeon gives you a small smile when she notices the way your face fell. “It was really tough for him when you and Eunwoo got serious, but he couldn’t do anything about it. He tried seeing other people, in the hopes that they could make him feel what he does for you. He didn’t do that in vain – like he did it maliciously in hopes that you would get jealous or whatever. He did that – he does that – because he also genuinely wants to be with someone who can reciprocate his feelings. Min Sora was really close… but I don’t really know what happened to that. I’ve assumed since then that he must still probably love you. And he still apparently does, even to this day. I’m not saying all of this in favor of him, okay? But do you not want to give him a chance because of that? He really loves you, __. He admires you a lot. You don’t know how much he’s just in awe of you. He talks about you a lot when you’re not around, and he’d ditch just about anything to get to you with one call. Look… I don’t know what you feel, and at the end of the day, you call the shots. But I think he’s worth it, __. Because I know him as well and everybody knows he’ll treat you right. You just gotta give him the chance.”

You take in Doyeon’s words carefully.

“That’s not really the only thing I’m skeptical about,” you sigh. “Him having slept with other people is not the top of my concern, because we weren’t in any relationship. Again, I couldn’t have expected him to be celibate all this time. What I’m really worried about is the fact that he’s so— he’s so important to me, Doyeon. I’ve known him for eight years and he’s… he’s quite literally the best thing that ever happened to me—” you stop for awhile because you feel your voice breaking, just in time when the sides of your eyes sting with precedent tears. But you can’t cry right now. You’ve done that a lot in the past few days.  “And if— and if I do feel the same, and then we do this thing, what if it all goes wrong? I don’t – I can’t really bear the thought of him not present in my life. I have never considered that ever since I’ve known him. I’m so lucky with my friendships but my romantic relationships all suck. They’re shit. And I don’t want to have a shit romantic relationship with Jungkook, because that would mean I’d lose him. And I don’t want to lose him… do you— do you get me, Doyeon? I’m so scared. Because there's this part of me that wholeheartedly believes what he said, but there’s a bigger part of me that’s in denial because I can’t stop thinking about things going wrong.” 

“Hey,” Doyeon gently calls, and you don’t realize that you’ve been holding back a sob because the moment she scoots closer, arm circling your back, you bury your face in her chest and let out a quiet cry. She cradles your head, and you close your eyes at that. “What if things don’t go wrong, though? What if it works out?” 

You sniffle. “But things always go wrong for me and my boyfriends. I don’t know what I did to deserve it, but they just never end well.” 

Doyeon lets out a heavy breath. “I completely understand that. Again, you know Jungkook better than I do. Better than anybody I know, really. You would know exactly what he’s capable of – and that includes the possibility of him hurting you, or the lack of it thereof. It’s really your choice, __. Just… just talk to him, okay? He’s been wanting to, but you’re not reaching out and he said he didn’t want to suffocate you or anything like that.” 

You quickly perk up at that. “He said that?” Doyeon nods. It makes your shoulders deflate. “But… but we were in the elevator today and he…”

“He what?”

“He… uhm… well I said something stupid,” you wince, wiping the stray tears from your cheeks. “I said I miss him, but he didn’t – I don’t know. He didn’t say anything,” Nibbling on your bottom lip anxiously, you look at Doyeon reluctantly, gauging her reaction. “I think he actually hates me now.”

Doyeon is quiet for a moment before she speaks. “You just… you really have no clue how much he loves you, huh? You can kill a close relative of his and he’ll make excuses for you, I don’t doubt that even for a second,” She says and for a moment you’re a bit offended because you’re getting kind of tired of people pointing out that Jungkook being into you is obvious like how the grasses are green, but Doyeon shakes her head, face in pure disbelief. And you just know she didn’t mean it that way. She genuinely looks baffled. “You really need to talk, __. This is… it really hurts seeing you both like this."  

You tuck your head down. “I’m thinking about it.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. I think… I’m going back to our place tonight. But I’m not sure. I’ll probably chicken out last minute.” 

Doyeon pats your arm. “Do it, okay? Just be honest with yourself and to him. You both need that.” 

You give her a small, weak smile.

You’re pretty much drained the moment you arrive at your place. Sighing heavily, you punch in the passcode and almost feel your knees buckling at the sight of the interior of your apartment. 

It feels like it’s been so long since you’ve been here, and coupled with the discussion that you had with Doyeon yesterday, everything suddenly feels overstimulating and there’s an urge at the sides of your eyes to cry. 

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you breathe in and out as you enter the threshold, noting the fact that nobody is at home. Or Jungkook isn’t present anywhere in the living room. You’re a bit grateful for that if you have to be honest to yourself – after all, the last time that you talked to him did not exactly go as well as you’d like. 

He could be in his room, though. That’s what you assume as you go straight over to the kitchen in hopes to heat up the take-out that you bought at the driveway. As you leave your phone on the counter, you notice the to-go container from Chipotle on the same surface, as well as the laptop that is left open beside it. 

So Jungkook is home. 

The question is, where could he possibly be, leaving out his stuff here in the kitchen? Might be in his bedroom to grab something real quick? 

You don’t mean to do the next thing that comes to your mind, but your feet – your stupid feet – track back from the microwave to the island, and your eyes betray you as they go look and read the words on the screen of Jungkook’s macbook. 

The tab that shows is an apartment listing website, and besides are more tabs that show some familiar real-estate names you’ve come to on the internet before when you were looking for a place. 

It makes you freeze in your spot, eyes glued to the daunting images of the apartment layout that Jungkook must’ve clicked on awhile ago, and you take note that he’s seemingly, specifically, looking for one-apartment bedrooms and studio apartments. 

Your mind goes into a sudden haywire at the sight. 

What does this mean? 

“Oh, hey,”

The embodied voice makes your head snap to its direction, and you see Jungkook standing in front of you in his sweats and shirt – his usual home clothes – with a charger in his hand. 

“Jungkook.” You say, or more like, breathe out. Your heart feels like it’s somersaulting for some reason at the sight of him. 

But Jungkook looks just as surprised as you. 

“I… I didn’t know you’re coming ho– back.” He says, and there’s a twinge in your heart that you ignore when you caught him pointedly avoiding the word home when pertaining to your place. Somehow, that felt intentional.

But you give him a smile. Probably a weak one. Probably doesn’t really look like a smile at all and more like a grimace. If Jungkook notices, he doesn’t say anything. Just goes straight to the direction of the highchairs on the island and plug in his charger for his laptop. 

Then, he turns to look at you. “Uh... you just got off from your shift?” 

“Yeah. You too?” You say, nibbling your bottom lip with your teeth. A nervous habit. 

“Nah, got off a few hours ago.” 

“Oh. Okay.” 

“Yeah.” 

You nod your head. You stand there for a while, letting the silence that’s admittedly awkward hang in the air. 

It’s weird, really. Jungkook and you usually have a lot to say to each other – but right now, there doesn’t seem to be a single thing you can say to one another. 

It breaks your heart that’s the current case. 

“Well, uhm. That’s Zillow.” You say, pointing to his laptop. The moment the words left your lips you swear you could have slapped yourself. 

How stupid to ask him about it. How incredibly stupid for that thing to be your choice of topic after weeks of no proper communication with him. 

Jungkook seems surprised at this, though, turning his head immediately to look at his own laptop. There’s a certain jerk in his movements when he moves his fingers to the trackpad that closes the entire window of the internet and shows his wallpaper instead. 

“Oh. Yeah. That was… Zillow.” 

Stupid, stupid you makes everything even more awkward when you say, “You’re looking for a place?” 

Jungkook stares at you for awhile. There’s a pregnant pause, and then he nods his head. A bit hesitant. But his voice is full when he speaks. 

“Yeah.” 

So, he’s moving out. That’s what you think as you avoid looking at his face and let your gaze fall back to his laptop. 

You give him a small smile. 

“Ah. Good luck with the search, then.”

Your heart completely breaks when you say the words.

Suddenly, the words of your supposed confession get stuck and they die in your throat. You let yourself believe that coming home tonight would fix everything; you just had to go inside, talk to Jungkook, tell him you were sorry about what you said – and the rest would just do its thing and you'll be back to okay.

But he's moving out, and every bit of hope in you shuts down.

Jungkook doesn’t say anything for a while, and you’re just about to turn on your heels to go to your room but then he utters lowly, almost like a whisper. 

“It’s not final.” 

“Hm?” You hum, not sure if you caught that. 

Rubbing the back of his neck, Jungkook looks away as he says again, “I mean, I’m just looking. I was gonna talk to you before I finalize my plans.”

“Talk to me? Why?”

“Since we’re on a joint lease and all that.” 

“Oh.” You nod to yourself, dumbfounded. It's embarrassing the way you lit up with expectation when he said it wasn't final, for it to completely die anyway when he said that. You feel like you're not wanted. “Yeah. Right.” 

“I assume you’re tired from your shift, though, so maybe we can go over it tomorrow? Or any day you like, really.” Jungkook shrugs. 

“No, tonight’s fine,” You wave your hand, walking towards his direction and seating yourself on the chair beside him. You try to focus all your attention on the screen in front of you instead of Jungkook’s overwhelming presence. You’ve always thought he was big but tonight, he feels even bigger and you’re intimidated. “Are you writing a notice to the landlord?”

“Yeah – I mean, after we talk about the move, that is.” 

“Wow.” You can’t help but let out. “You really thought about all this while I was away?” 

You regret the words just as instantly as they leave your mouth. 

Looking at Jungkook hesitantly, you watch as his face falls, mouth opening and closing, as if at a loss for words. 

You take them back before he says something. “Sorry — I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.” Sharp and edgy, clipped and… angry. Sort of accusatory. Like you’re pinning something bad on him.

“It’s fine.” Jungkook says after awhile, returning back his gaze on the laptop. 

His withdrawal makes you deflate. He seems so uninterested. Is he done with you? Just like that?

“You know what,” You utter after a pregnant pause, standing up from the chair and getting back on your feet. “I actually have a headache. I think we should go over this tomorrow.”

Jungkook looks confused but he nods, anyway. “I just… stocked up on Advil yesterday. So, if you need it… it’s just in the kit.” 

“Sure. Thanks,” You give him a small smile. “I’ll, just go, uh, shower for a bit.” You point to the bathroom across from you. 

Before you go, Jungkook calls your name.

“__.”

You turn around to look at him. “Yes?”

“Are you…” He trails off. You wish he’d look at you like he usually does. “Are you back for good?”

You don’t expect that question at all. But you collect yourself on time to respond. “Yeah. I guess I am.”

Jungkook’s expression is something unreadable, so you throw him an awkward smile. You’re not sure if he returned it, because everything is becoming too much, and you can’t help but overthink every single thing he does. So, before you can dwell on that, you go straight to the bathroom to do your business. 

You shower quickly – you can’t focus when you know that Jungkook is just outside, and he can probably hear the water running. You’ve never really paid thoughts to these stuff except the first few weeks of moving in with him, but right now, there’s a certain awkward tension in the air and it’s slowly suffocating you. You needed to get out of the shower box quick.

And so you did, but you don’t expect the series of knocks on the door, with Jungkook’s voice behind it. 

“__?” 

“Y-yeah?” You stammer, wrapping your towel around you (that Jungkook thankfully hasn’t thrown out yet) with haste and getting to the door immediately to answer him. 

When you open it, Jungkook visibly freezes for a bit. And you realize you’re in nothing but a piece of cotton; bare underneath, droplets of water running through your body from the tips of your uncovered, wet hair. 

You consciously tighten the towel around your body, making sure to act unbothered when you say, “What?” 

Jungkook seems to snap out of the moment just as you did. When you follow the hand that he lifts, you see your phone in it. Weirdly enough, you had time to notice the way the device fits so small in his hand when you can barely wrap your phone around your fingers yourself.

What the actual fuck are you talking about, you tell yourself at the back of your head. What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck—

“You left this on the counter. Mingyu’s been calling you.” 

It’s like you’ve been suddenly hit by a truck upon hearing the name.

“Oh. Okay. Sorry about that.” You take your phone when he offers it to you. You don’t know why but you avoid Jungkook’s eyes as you step out of the bathroom and press the decline button, causing the ringtone to stop abruptly. 

You don’t look back at him as you enter your bedroom, locking the door and throwing your phone on the mattress and going straight to your closet.

Nothing much has changed since the last seven or so days. What would change, anyway? It’s not like Jungkook has some sort of business in here. 

When you finished dressing yourself up with your usual pajamas, a worn-out tee and a pair of short shorts, you go over right to your bed, picking up your phone. 

The notification bar says that you have six missed calls from Mingyu and two texts. An upgrade from his three to four times in the previous days. 

See, it’s not only Jungkook or Doyeon or Nayeon or Taehyung whom you’ve been avoiding. It’s also Mingyu. The last time that you two talked was when you said goodbye to each other when he was catching his flight from the resort. You’ve completely shut everybody out after that thing happened, and again, it’s not your proudest moment. You’re only non-confrontational to a certain degree, but you usually handle your problems like a grown woman. 

You just really don’t know how to handle this one. 

But Mingyu’s been calling, and you haven’t answered or replied to any of his messages ever since. 

It’s just… everytime you think about him… it hurts.

It hurts to think of somebody you’ve given your trust to, only for them to step on it without any remorse. It hurts that you once thought he was going to be the one, only for him to end up as someone you’re starting to… hate. It hurts extremely that just eight days ago, you held this high level of adoration for him, but now you don’t feel anything at all but simmering anger. 

Sighing, you click on his message instead of sliding it out, gearing yourself for what you’re about to read.

gyu😽 [10:15pm]: Dinner at my place tonight? gyu😽 [10:32pm]: Can you pick up my calls?

You scrolled through the other ones he sent in the past week, and you find out that they’re simply just a variation of “do you want to have dinner together tonight”, “why aren’t you picking up?” and shockingly… a couple texts of “i miss you”. 

You’ve only been bullshitting when you told Jungkook that you had a headache, but right now that excuse might be true because you can feel a tick in your head, a certain bang on the front, and you just want all of this to end. 

Letting out a controlled breath, you swallow the lump in your throat as you type a reply. Finally.

You [10:50pm]: Can we talk tomorrow? 

To your surprise, Mingyu responds quickly.

gyu😽 [10:51pm]: of course. dinner?

You [10:52pm]: yeah. i get off at around 8 tomorrow.

gyu😽 [10:52pm]: I have some paperworks to attend to but 8 is fine by me.  gyu😽 [10:53pm]: Can we go to a restaurant? gyu😽 [10:53pm]: I haven’t cleaned my place so I thought we could go outside

You [10:54pm]: It’s alright. Also, no need to pick me up. I’ll uber. 

gyu😽 [10:55pm]: You sure?

You [10:56pm]: Yeah.

gyu😽 [10:56pm]: Alright then.

You don’t get a lot of sleep that night.

“Hey, sorry I’m a bit late. The partners had a meeting over at the firm,” Mingyu says, loosening his tie a little, breathing a bit sharp as he takes the seat across from you. 

You nod, giving him a small smile. Taking a sip from your water, you watch as Mingyu fixes his tie again, some sort of attempt to look kempt, like he hasn’t just run here. He was in a rush, and you feel bad that he had to go over here quickly when the partners meeting was probably something important. He could’ve canceled and you wouldn’t have mind. 

“So. Hi,” Mingyu greets you as if he’s making up for his rash entrance earlier. He gives you a smile, the one that’s his usual charming smile – you remember fawning over it the first time you met him. “How have you been?”

“Fine. I’ve been doing well.” you answer. In your lap, your fingers fiddle with each other.

You’ve thought about how you are going to go over this, but obviously the scenarios that played in your head yesterday and before you went here were so much more different than now. You weren’t an anxious mess in your imagination.

Mingyu nods. “That’s good to hear. Been doing fine as well.” He says casually. 

That makes something flare up in your chest.

Fine? He’s been doing fine? 

Before you can say something, a waiter comes up to your table to give you the menu, and that effectively keeps you from saying the words you were probably going to regret as soon as they come out of your mouth. 

You both tell your respective orders to the waiter before he walks away, leaving you two nodding and smiling ahead. When he’s gone, you’re left alone with Mingyu again. 

You look at him — and his usual suits and tie ensemble would usually make you gush internally about how good he looks, how you can still see the way he’s built under the pristine fabric of his clothes, and how attractive he is the way he carries himself. 

“I’m glad you called me tonight, sweetheart.”

And you don’t expect the way the hairs on your body tingle with… ick. 

“Sure.” You say, drinking from your glass of water again.

Just get over it, your mind convinces you. But how are you going to approach it?

Moments pass and then suddenly, Mingyu lets out a heavy breath. You peer up at him, raising a brow. 

“Alright, I’m not gonna skirt around this anymore, __,” He says, and his eyebrows are knitted in what seems like confusion when he meets your gaze. “What’s going on with you? You’ve been avoiding me.”

The confrontation somehow eases you even though it shouldn’t.

Licking your bottom lip – an anxious habit that you try hard to forgo – you compose yourself before you say, “I have. Yes, you’re right.”

“Why?” Mingyu asks with genuine curiosity. 

Somehow, this bothers you. Does he really not know or he’s just pretending not to know? Whichever it is, it does not really make you feel any better about him. If he’s pretending not to know, then he’s an even bigger asshole than you’re letting him on, but if he does not know, then that’s just even worse. Imagine doing all of those things and not being aware that you did something wrong enough to upset people? 

“I have to be completely honest with you, Mingyu. I want to break up.” 

The words come out easily as opposed to what you expected. 

Somehow, it’s strange, really. You’ve never dumped anybody before. Of course, you don’t count those casual dates you’ve had in the past two years because they were never that serious. But usually, in your long relationships, the other guy does the dumping and never you. 

So, right now, as you sit across from Mingyu, finally declaring what you’ve been thinking over the past week, you feel a sense of liberation. A cliché, really. There’s a feeling of discomfort gnawing at some parts of you, but you choose to ignore it, bravely meeting his gaze instead. 

“What?”

“I want to break up with you.” You reiterate, this time fuller so he knows your decision is final.

His mouth opens and closes, and there’s a pregnant pause that hangs in the air before he finds his tongue. “But why?” 

“Are you serious?” You can’t help but snap. “Do you really not know?” 

“No. Fill me in, because I’m confused.” Mingyu doubles down, and it fires you up a little bit. 

“Mingyu, Jungkook told me everything,” You say, and you notice the way his expression changes into something more… unreadable the moment you dropped Jungkook’s name. “And I mean everything. What you did with his girlfriend back in college, and what you said about me to goad him into a fight. I mean, what were you thinking, Mingyu? All of that was just… low. Even for you. I can’t believe you’d do any of that.” You catch your breath after you say the words, not realizing how heavy it would feel to let them out. You’ve never been confrontational, would prefer if the other person did all the talking, and to do this right now is taking so much from you.

“He told you everything?” Mingyu asks again. You watch as he relaxes his posture, and you grow confused when his lips curl into a smirk. “I knew he would do that. Come crying to you with his lovesick head. Did he finally grow some to tell you he loves you, then?” 

You recoil, not expecting that. “That’s none of your business.”

“It is my business. You’re my girlfriend.”

“I’m not anymore.”

Mingyu inhales a sharp breath. “So, you’re choosing him?” 

“I—I— what?” you blurt out, surprised at his audacity. “I’m not choosing anybody. And it’s really bold of you to assume that you’re still one of my options after all that.” 

Scoffing, Mingyu drinks from his water. He looks at you with a blank stare as he says, “Well, be honest with me now. Do you love him?” 

“Do I love him?” You chuckle, not the least bit of humor in it. “You don’t really deserve my honesty, Mingyu. You had all of those four months to be honest with me and you didn’t do shit. Don’t ask me any personal questions and expect me to give you an honest answer. Because I won’t give you any of it.” 

“You said a lot of things but I know you love him just as much as he loves you.”

“What are you talking about?”

This time, Mingyu’s tone borders on sharp when he leans down to get to you closer so you can hear him clearly. “You think it was easy for me to be in a relationship with you when all you could talk and think about was Jungkook? Jungkook who was only supposedly your bestfriend?” It’s said with so much wrath that you can’t help but physically recoil at his words. When you don’t say anything, Mingyu continues, “Jungkook told me this movie’s good, Jungkook said their aglio e olio tastes great, Jungkook and I were just talking about this — I could go on how many times you’ve always managed to insert him in anything even when we’re together, but I did not want to be that kind of boyfriend who got jealous over their girl’s friends, and I was that for you – and you think I’m the bad guy here?”

You blink, mouth opening and closing. You fish for some words, something to defend yourself with. Have you really said all that? Did you really do that? Did you really talk about Jungkook enough times that Mingyu took notice of it? 

You’ve always thought that your friendship with Jungkook is platonic. You’ve convinced yourself of that and Jungkook seemed to think the same — at least that’s what you thought prior to his confession – and you like to think that your friendship works, even though the majority of people don’t agree that opposite genders can be purely friends.

But… did you think wrong? Did you really just convince yourself it was platonic when all along… it was not? 

You don’t exactly recall the moments that you talked about him while you were with Mingyu. It’s hard to when talking about Jungkook just comes like second nature. You don’t count the times you see the grass being green – because they are and will always be green. 

And that’s what Jungkook is to you. He’s been such a constant presence in your life that you can’t help but bring him up in any case because… because it just feels right to do so.

Now you think about your relationship with Eunwoo. How he never really liked Jungkook. Did he think the same as Mingyu? Did you also talk about your best friend too much in his presence? Did he count the times you mentioned Jungkook’s name in your conversations? Do you really talk so much about him?

“See?” Mingyu says after a while and it snaps you out of your stupor. “Don’t tell me I’m a liar when you’ve also been lying to me this whole time.” 

“How dare you?” You snap at him. You can take him pointing out about the thing with Jungkook, but never this. “I didn’t hide anything from you. I was not the one with the history of cheating with their friend’s girlfriend and I didn’t talk behind your back like you’re merely just a piece of meat.” 

Mingyu visibly stills and you bite your lip after saying the words. You didn’t mean for it to come out that way. Didn’t really mean to say that in the first place. But it’s done and you can’t cry over spilled milk. 

Doesn’t negate the fact that you feel like shit, though.

“You think I didn’t regret what I did?” Mingyu says, a little quiet this time. If you weren’t at the quieter part of the restaurant, in a booth where the sound of the classical music and people’s chatters are muffled, you won’t hear him at all. “Jungkook and I were close, __. We really were. And I fucked up and ruined his trust. But you also don’t know how and why that happened. Jiyeon was already cheating on him before she hit on me–” 

“Oh, so is that the part where you volunteered to be one of her “victims”, too?” You say sarcastically, cutting him off, incredulous about the fact that he’s really trying to make excuses for himself right now. 

“We were fucking drunk– and high, okay? We didn’t know what we were doing.” Mingyu says through his teeth, and it’s the first time you see him lose control. He’s always so kempt and so composed, it’s baffling you’re seeing him in this state.

But you refuse to believe his bullshit. 

“You know what, I don't know why you’re saying this to me. You should be saying this to Jungkook and frankly, I simply don’t care. What happened back then is between you – don’t include me into any of your arguments ever again,” You say exasperatedly. “My issue is that – and why I’m breaking up with you in the first place – is that you lied to me, Mingyu. You lied to me about so much. And If I were to go through this relationship with you longer, I don't know what else you’re going to lie to me about, and I don’t want that. Let’s not waste each other’s time and end it right here, right now.” 

Mingyu leans back on his seat. “I can’t change your mind even if I apologize to you about that, huh?”

You shake your head.

He nods. 

“Alright.” 

You look at him again.

Kim Mingyu has sharp features that usually make him look broody from an outsider perspective, but you’ve seen the way he smiles and how gentle he looks when he does. Right now, though, he looks… genuinely sad. 

He lied to you, yes, but somehow, there’s still some part of you that wants to know if he felt the least bit genuine about you. That it wasn’t all just a ploy to get to Jungkook. 

“Did you really like me? Even for a moment?” You break the silence, voice breaking slightly at the end. 

Mingyu looks up at you and you don’t expect the way his lips curl up into a small smile. “Yes, __. I did. I liked you the first time we met and believe it or not, I still have feelings for you right now.”

You look away to avoid his intense gaze. 

It’s weird. It’s so weird. Because even though you know in your heart that he’s not and will never be good for you and that he’s not a loss, your heart still aches at the declaration. 

“I don’t really know if I believe that.” You say, almost like a whisper. 

“I’m sorry, then.” Mingyu says, and it sounds so sincere that you start to feel some sort of stinging in both sides of your eyes.

In what seemed like forever, the waiter arrives with your orders, and you both look up and offer him a hand in placing them on your table, bidding him thanks as he once again walks away. 

You and Mingyu both look at your food. 

“I think I’m going first. I have a trial tomorrow, so I need to take care of that.” He says suddenly. 

Nibbling your bottom lip, you watch as he begins to fix his shirt, ready to stand up. 

“Okay.” 

“__?” You look up at him when he calls your name. He seems to hesitate for a bit, but he says, “Can you… can you tell Jungkook I’m sorry?” 

Staring at his face, you try to look for a hint of sarcasm. Or anything indicative of malice. But all you see is sincerity. 

At that, you shake your head. “No.” Mingyu’s face falls. “Talk to him yourself if you really are sorry. I’m not your mailman, Mingyu.” 

He sighs. “Alright. I guess you’re right,” And then, “And I’m saying sorry, to you too, you didn’t deserve that. I was angry, and that’s not an excuse. So, I’m sorry. Will you…” he clears his throat. “Will you ever forgive me?”

You shrug. “I don’t know. Probably.” 

Mingyu gives you a timid smile. “Okay.” 

When he takes out his wallet and a black card from there, you instantly stop him from calling over the waiter. 

“No, it’s fine, I’ll take care of it. I’m the one who invited you here.” You say, talking him out of paying. 

He shakes his head, insisting, “It’s okay.”

“Seriously, I can handle it.” 

Mingyu lets out a chuckle which makes you smile a bit before you scold yourself. 

“I know. But can you let me? This is… this is probably the last time we’ll see each other.” 

At that, you relax back in your seat, staring at him. He stares right back at you. 

With a slow nod, you let him call over the waiter.

He departs with a small goodbye that you return with a timid wave. 

When you go home that night, you cried yourself to sleep, thankful that Jungkook hasn’t come home from his shift yet.

Things are… fine. 

Unlike your previous break-ups that left you in agony for the following days after it happened, the one with Mingyu did not really leave a huge emotional impact. It makes you wonder if you’ve overestimated your feelings for him… makes you question yourself if you really thought he was the one when things were fine, and you both dated happily. 

You don’t bother yourself looking for answers, because the relationship is done and there’s no point in going over the details when it’s you yourself who ended the ties. 

While that is not the sole reason of your melancholic feeling these days, it lies on another person; your roommate, Jungkook – your best friend of eight years who’s apparently been in love with you the whole time. 

It’s only been a few weeks ever since you talked about him moving out. He said it was about time for him to leave the place – he’s been here longer than you, after all. He wrote and sent the notice to his landlord, and it’s been about two weeks since then, so you assume he’s already got his approval. 

While things may look normal and right from an outsider’s perspective… things aren’t exactly the way they were before.

Jungkook and you are close. You share almost everything together. Your friendship has been honed throughout the many years and obstacles you’ve faced together and so it’s only natural for you two to be as close.

But nowadays… you can feel that closeness slipping away. It flares up something inside you; like that feeling of grief when you remember that friend in highschool who you stopped talking to after graduation. You don’t know exactly what the reason is for the abrupt end of communication, but the finish line is there and you’ve both reached it without the other knowing – and you’re left fending for yourselves, looking ahead at your own worlds and letting your lives flow to the stream of the river. 

It’s strange, really; how everything feels somewhat normal but also really under that condition. 

Jungkook and you would text each other nonstop – he could be in his own room, and he’d still text you about random shit that ends up with him going to your room anyway just to annoy you for a bit before you kick him out and you both go to sleep. He’d ask to borrow something – anything, ask your food preference for the night, and he’d always ask you when your shift ends so you can go together if your schedules align. Meanwhile, you ask him to join you in the living room for spontaneous movie nights, ask him to give you a massage, and you’d both talk about your days, catching up on the hours you weren’t together.

And now there’s none of that. 

Now, you both greet each other when the other one gets home almost like a chore. Like how your roommate from college used to welcome you when you arrived at the dorm from classes. When either you or he is in the living room or something, you’d both tell each other that “Dinner’s in the fridge, you can microwave it”, instead of “What do you think we should have for dinner?”. Jungkook asks if you need a ride to the hospital because he knows you don’t have a car anymore, but you refuse because it’s obvious it’s just for formality. 

You don’t know if it’s just the overthinker in you, but it feels like Jungkook’s pulling back and he has no intention of making things right – or talk about what happened. 

He’s so… he’s so civil.

And you miss him so much it makes you sad.

It makes you confused. Sort of mad. He makes you feel a lot of things – but you hate that you’ve just been compartmentalizing and not doing any processing at all. 

You spent the past few weeks pointing out to yourself the differences that your relationship is going through. You spend some nights beating yourself up whether to go barge in his room and confront him with everything – but you do none of that. 

Instead, you pretend everything’s okay. At the hospital, you’ve no longer avoided him and said hi which he returns with a smile. Nayeon, Taehyung, and Doyeon, thought at first that everything’s back to normal, but you know they’re slowly realizing that it has not. 

Tonight, though, at Nayeon’s reception party after her wedding, you try hard to ignore all those angsts and choose to enjoy yourself instead. It’s Nayeon’s big day. The last thing you wanted to be was a bum.

Everybody is socializing with each other, and since you’ve had your fair share of conversations with other people at this point, you choose to sit out on the dance.

Suddenly, Billy Joel’s Uptown Girl is playing and the majority coos and exclaims in excitement as they hurry to the dancefloor, some taking their partners along with them.

“Look, they’re playing your favorite song.” 

Your head snaps to the side in reflex to see who it was, only to see Jungkook. Words get caught in your tongue for a moment, a bit surprised to see him. You mean – sure, he’s been here for a while. It is Nayeon’s wedding, after all, but weirdly enough, you two haven’t shared a conversation yet throughout the day. 

Until now, anyway.

Recovering from your initial surprise, you scoot over to the side, giving him space to maybe… sit beside you? 

“That’s not my favorite song.” You scoff, sipping on your champagne right after, looking right ahead as you feel Jungkook situating himself on the chair beside you.

“Oh… has it changed now?” Jungkook says, and there’s a lilt of teasing tone to it that you look at him in wonder. 

Meeting his gaze, you find he’s just smiling at you. He’s in an off-white tux, a lily pinned on his chest pocket. He’s done his hair in that usual way he cleans up for formal events like this, gelled and parted slightly off center to show off his forehead. It’s slightly longer than you’ve last noticed it looked, and you think he hasn’t been trimming it… 

Nonetheless, he looks simply put… dashing. 

“I change my favorite song every five to seven business days,” you say coolly. “Anyway, why aren’t you there?” you point to where the flock of people is having a ball to Billy Joel.

Truthfully, you kind of wish you were there as well. You’ve always danced to that song in your room or in the shower.

“I’m right where I want to be,” Jungkook shrugs. “Why aren’t you there?” 

You lie, “I’m right where I want to be as well.” 

He hums. “You don’t want to show them your moves?” 

You look at him in disbelief, gawking at him. “Are you teasing me?” 

Jungkook widens his eyes, but you know he knows what you’re talking about, and it sounds like he’s trying to keep from laughing when he says, “No. I just happen to know you’re a great dancer.” 

With that, you feel yourself getting carried away by how easily your conversation goes. It makes you think about the old times – where talking to him always made your day because he's funny and he makes you laugh and you make him laugh.

“Fuck off. You know very well I have two left feet.” You chuckle, shaking your head at him.

“Wasn’t the case when you were dancing inside a boiler room during med school at that rave party we went to, but okay.”  

You can’t help but laugh louder, and with that, you jab a lighthearted slap to his bicep without thinking too much of it. 

“I told you that never happened.” 

“Oh…” Jungkook puts down his champagne and cocks his head to the side. “What happened?” 

You giggle. Yes, giggle. Like a schoolgirl. And you watch as Jungkook joins in your laughter, taking the glass close to his face to sip from it. 

Then: “You wanna dance?” Jungkook suddenly says, but he’s looking at the dancefloor. 

“Hm. Dunno. Uptown Girl isn’t exactly rave music.” 

That earns you a chuckle from Jungkook. “But it’s fun music, right?” 

Soon after, he stands up from his seat. You look at him questioningly, but he mirrors it back with an expectant gaze and a raised brow. Seeing you getting apprehensive, he offers his hand and that’s when you roll your eyes, taking his hand as you pretend to stand up against your will and follow him to the crowd.

You chuckle as Jungkook suddenly sways his hips to the upbeat of the song, moving his arms around playfully. You’d like to think he’s doing that intentionally – to make you laugh? Loosen up? Whatever the idea behind it, it’s effective, because you can’t stop laughing as you watch him. 

“Come on, we do this all the time!” Jungkook says over the loud music and people’s candid chattering.

And he’s not wrong because you do have mini parties in the living room of your apartment, pretending like the city before the glass wall across the area is your audience. 

But you two are usually drunk during those moments, and right now, with only one glass of champagne, you’re not near being tipsy. 

“This is so silly!” You exclaim, but you find yourself matching Jungkook’s spontaneous choreography, and it earns you a laugh from him as well. 

“And when she’s walking, she’s looking so fi-i-ne,” Jungkook sings along, gesturing to you. You cover your face because you can’t stop laughing at how he looks – how you two must look – but you’re almost sure nobody’s paying attention because everybody is just having fun on their own. He has a good voice, though – even though he’s trying to act goofy with it. Jungkook doesn’t like when people point it out, or more like, gets shy when you bring it up. 

Suddenly, he steps closer to you and reaches for your hand. Looking at him with confusion, still with that wide grin on your face, he gives you a playful smile before he guides your arm upwards. You utter a sound of a delighted snort, understanding where he’s getting at. With Jungkook guiding you, you do a mildly successful turn that makes you both laugh because as you were just getting back in your original position, you almost trip. Good thing that Jungkook’s there to catch you by the waist, the contact only lasting for a brief second before he lets go to dance on his own again. 

“I wish I was an uptown girl!” You yell over the music.

“You’re kinda an uptown girl if you think about it.” Jungkook responds, nodding his head as if he believes that. 

You chuckle, shaking your head at him. “No.” 

“Yes, you are. You’re sophisticated and elegant.”

“Well, this—” you point between your bodies, “– is not very sophisticated and elegant of me.” 

“Touché.” Jungkook laughs.

“But will you be my downtown man?” You say, not really thinking too much about it but then you suddenly realize what you just said and you’re about to add something to it – like putting a disclaimer that it was just a joke. 

But then Jungkook leans closer, ducks down to level with your ear. “I can be if you want me to.” 

The song ends and you barely had time to process what just happened before the soft piano progression of Carole King’s Will You Love Me Tomorrow begins to play. 

You hear the collective “Aww”s from the audience and you watch as everybody suddenly pairs up with someone else. As the first lyric of the song is sung, you can feel the upbeat energy from earlier dropping to a calmer atmosphere. Romantic, you’d say it is.

When you look at Jungkook again, he has a small smile on his face. It’s as gentle as the piano behind the song. 

“Can I?” He says. 

You nibble on your bottom lip. “You want to?”

Jungkook only nods, still smiling.

“Only if you want to as well.” 

You look around again. It’s not hard to spot Taehyung from afar on the dancefloor as well, with a gorgeous Hyerin in his arms. He doesn’t seem to notice you looking, though, but you watch the way he ducks down to whisper something in her ear, prompting a laugh from her. 

Putting your gaze back to Jungkook, you blink as you say, “It’s… okay, I guess.” 

“Okay?” Jungkook clarifies. You nod your head and he smiles that dashing smile again before he steps closer to you.

Slowly, he puts a hand around your waist. And you know he did it awhile ago, but the contact ended so briefly that you didn’t really have the chance to… somehow… savor it, maybe? But right now, as you fumble with your own hand, deciding whether or not you should put a hand on his waist as well, the proximity makes your breath hitch. 

Your heart beats abnormally fast against your ribcage, and usually, it’s not hard to stare Jungkook in the face – but you find it a difficult task to do nowadays. 

Jungkook, unsuspecting of your inner dilemma, only seems to notice your confusion with your hand placement, chuckling as he guides your wrist to his shoulder. He raises his other arm with yours and interlocks your fingers with his mid-air.

“There,” Jungkook says once you’re in the right position. “Now we look like professional dancers.” 

You wince. “What’s the next step?” 

“You’re taking this very seriously,” Jungkook snorts as he begins to move his feet. 

You try to match his pace, and that distracts you from the fact that you're so close you can smell his cologne very well. 

“Where did you learn this?” You ask instead, quite amazed at how Jungkook is approaching this. It’s not like you’ve never slow danced in your life – but you weren’t kidding when you said you have two left feet. 

“Wikihow.” 

“Wow.” 

“They can be super reliable at times,” Jungkook chuckles as he continues to swing you both gently. “Stop looking down.” 

You groan. “Ugh, no. I’m trying very hard not to not step on you.”

“So what if you step on me? Just relax.” 

Jutting your bottom lip out, you look up at him. “My heels are Louboutin.” 

“Even better.” 

“Stop.” You break away from his hold with your other hand to jab at his chest lightly. Jungkook lets out an “Owe!” but you know it didn’t actually hurt when he just grins down at you, placing his hand on your waist instead so now he’s just… simply holding you.

You ignore the weird feeling in your chest at the action, choosing to keep your hand on his chest. 

“You wanna know something?” You whisper. Jungkook hums. “I didn’t go to prom in highschool.” 

“What? Why?” Jungkook genuinely seems surprised to hear that.

You smile sadly, looking back at the memory bitterly. “Changsub and I were fighting around that time because I saw him at the mall with some girl the previous week. I was so angry that I didn’t care about what I’d be missing out on. My mom tried really hard to get me to attend, but I was very stubborn. Now I still regret not going to prom. My dress was really pretty back then too but I didn't even get to wear it.” 

“Damn,” Jungkook utters. “He really was such a dick to you, huh?” 

“Yeah. But it was still on me, though… I can’t believe I let a boy make me miss out on prom night.” You pout.

Jungkook’s quiet for a while before he abruptly stops his swaying. You look at him in confusion as he lets go of your waist. 

“Well, I don’t have a corsage… but this can maybe do?” He fumbles with his chest first before he takes out the silk lavender handkerchief from his suit’s pocket that matches his tie and the lily on his chest. He looks at you for a while before he takes your wrist in his hand. Your brows knit together as he ties the fabric around your wrist, making sure to finish it up with a ribbon – an attempt at a ribbon, that is. 

You chuckle. “What’s this?” 

Jungkook grins. “You wanna know something too? I didn’t have a date on prom night – was too scared to ask anybody out. I went home after the first hour. Wasn’t really a fond memory. So, prom night definitely sucked for me… what I’m saying is that, it’s not really all that.” 

You duck your head down to laugh, partly to hide the flutter in your heart at his words.

“So, like, is this our – what – our upgraded prom night?” 

Jungkook nods proudly. He takes both your hands as you laugh, wrapping them around his neck, taking you by the waist again. 

This time, you don’t feel like your breath is being taken away.

You feel… serene. The beating of your heart is back to normal. You realize, there’s a sense of comfort that comes from being close to him like this – talking and laughing like good old times. 

You miss him. You miss him so much and you can’t believe you ever considered accepting a life without him in it. 

“The dress looks good on you, by the way,” Jungkook comments, and it sounds so sincere that you can’t help but smile. As if that wasn’t enough to melt your heart, he adds, “And you look really beautiful.” 

“T-thanks,” you stammer, taken aback at the almost intimate way he looks right into your eyes as he said that. You tighten your hold around his neck. “You don’t look so bad yourself.” 

“Thank you.” 

You both chuckle, though there was nothing really funny said in particular.

Carole King’s gentle voice soothes you as Jungkook takes the lead of the dance. You’re not even doing anything other than just going with the flow, letting him take you wherever. There’s a moment when you were sure you stepped on his shoe, but Jungkook’s quick to dismiss you with a hush and saying it was nothing. 

Tonight with words unspoken,

You say that I’m the only one

But will my heart be broken,

When the night meets the morning sun

You scoff as you finally hear the lyrics.

That may have taken a hit on you. 

“This is so stupid.” You say.

Jungkook’s quick to react.

“Rude. I’m literally giving you a prom night from scratch.”

You look at him and you feel bad because he genuinely seems offended at your supposedly throw-away comment.

Shaking your head, you tap his chest lightly. “No, no. I mean– the lyrics. The song.”

Jungkook arches a brow. “I have a video of you crying over this song in your car when it came up on your playlist.” 

“I didn’t cry over this song.” You roll your eyes. 

“Not as much as you did over Silver Springs, anyway.” 

“Oh my god, why do you know so much, Jesus,” you hiss, embarrassed at being confronted by your dramatic antics. “I just meant, why are they playing such a sad song at a wedding? Who approved this?” 

“Eh,” Jungkook shrugs. “Maybe Nayeon’s a Carole King fan.” 

“Is she?” you ask, genuinely curious. If she is, she never told anybody.

“Maybe…?” 

You can’t help but laugh because of how the conversation progressed. Jungkook laughs as well, and he takes the jab you send to his chest with a light hand. They’re really hard, you think, and you don’t know what comes over you as you lean your head down and let your body fall towards him, laying your cheek on the lapel of his suit. It’s warm.

You feel Jungkook stilling in his position at your sudden action, but soon enough, he does nothing to pry you off like you feared for a moment he would, tightening his arms around your waist and swinging you both in that kind of laxed way. 

Shutting your eyes close, you let the soft melody of the song ease your nerves, basking in Jungkook’s presence and his familiar scent. 

You stay like that for a while, and just when the song is coming to an end, you feel Jungkook’s breathe in your ears, his lips almost brushing to the tips of your ears when he says, “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything back then, but I really miss you too.” 

You drank more champagne than you anticipated and it’s why you wobble your way into the bathroom to do some half-ass retouch. Just as when you were putting away your make-up, Nayeon comes out from one of the cubicles. 

“Hey, you gorgeous, gorgeous girl,” She says with a huge smile, now changed into a much simpler dress, in contrast to her voluminous one earlier.

You mirror her grin, opening your arms wide to engulf her in a hug. “Hi to you too. Congrats again on the wedding. I’m so incredibly happy for you. You and Minhyuk are perfect.” 

When Nayeon breaks apart from your hug, she looks at you closely. “I saw you with Jungkook earlier. Lots of people saw you two earlier.” 

“What?” 

“I mean… slow dancing to Will You Love Me Tomorrow in a weirdly intimate way was kind of insane, if you ask me.” 

“Oh, uhm…” you feel blood rushing to your cheeks as you grow embarrassed at the thought of people catching you in that position. You remember after the song ended, you made up some excuse about going to the bathroom to pee and you did – but you pointedly tried to stay out of Jungkook’s sight ever since.

One step forward, three steps back.

“How are you two by the way?” 

“We’re fine.” You say, giving her a reassuring smile. 

Nayeon stares at you for a moment. Then, she sighs. “You’re not, are you?”

“No, we really are. We’re– we’re talking, right?” You point out.

“But… he’s moving out of your place.”

“Well, he needs a change of scenery. He’s been there for four years so he must be tired living there.” 

Nayeon stares at you again and when you look at her face, your heart twinges as you see the disappointment written all over her features. 

“I don’t understand you both, really. You have this… this beautiful thing going on and you’re choosing to ignore that? It’s obvious that you feel something for him, __. Just be honest with him and see where it goes. I know you two are pretending that everything’s fine but you’re both hurting each other and you’re acting like it’s nothing – it’s all just unnecessary angst at this point. What are you two doing?” Nayeon asks. 

“I…”

“Come on, __. Do you really want to let each other go? Do you really want to drift apart? Because it’s been almost a month of pussyfooting. And I don’t know if you’re just expecting that your luck is not gonna run out, but it is going to. And I know you’re going to regret it.” 

You stare at Nayeon while listening to her words. You don’t expect the sharp edges to her voice. You’ve always thought that if someone was going to call you out on your bullshit – it was going to be Doyeon. She’s the bluntest in the group and would not hesitate to tell someone if they’re being a bitch or not – so you don’t expect Nayeon to be like this at all because she’s always been a soft-spoken sweetheart.

It's not like Doyeon hasn’t been harsh, either, though. You had a drink with her and Taehyung a month ago and let’s just say she kind of ranted about you feeling like you’re in a romcom or something. 

She shuts her eyes close, and you can just feel her frustration emanating. “I’m sorry – I know I’m being harsh right now. But I just can’t bear seeing you two like this. I just got married today and I feel like I’m learning and realizing so much right now and one of those is that I’m extremely lucky to have found someone I’m so sure of, and while Minhyuk was saying his vows I looked back at my past relationships and just thought that… that I’m so glad I was finally at that point and… and right now I can’t stop thinking about you two,” Nayeon sighs. “You two love each other so much. Everybody can see it. Why are you both running away from each other? What gives?” 

You look away.

You both do love each other. They are right.

And while you can’t exactly say if what you feel for Jungkook right now bounds in being in love – there’s quite literally only one thing in the world that you’re certain of, and it’s that he’s the most important person to you – the only one you can think of spending a lifetime with and not get sick of it.

And that was something.

But…

“Because it’s scary.” You say, finally.

“What’s scary?”

You inhale a sharo breath.

“For eight years I’ve always thought that we were only platonic. But somewhere in my head I always thought that he was my soulmate, you know? I thought about us ending up together and I remember liking that thought. But years went by, and nothing ever happened and I swear I was happy with Eunwoo but you know what I’m ashamed of all this time that I never told anybody?” Your vision of Nayeon gets blurry as you begin tearing up. “I think… I have been in denial for so long. I think… I think I secretly looked for a part of Jungkook in Eunwoo and I think Eunwoo knew that. I think everybody who I’ve ever been with knew that except for myself. Because I was in denial. Even right now, I’m still in denial. You don’t know how – you don’t know how strange it is to suddenly wake up and realize that you don’t see your friend as a mere friend anymore. You don’t know how hard it is to overthink things – like what if it doesn’t work out and everything falls apart? Our friendship is so important to me, I hold it in the highest regard, and I don’t want anything to ever go against it. But now I’m doing that myself and I just… I hate it. But I don’t know what to do. Jungkook’s moving out just like it seems like he’s moving on and I’m scared that I’m too late to do anything.” 

Your speech leaves Nayeon’s mouth agape, clearly not expecting your outburst. But she recovers quickly. She steps closer in front of you, and in a second, engulfs you in a hug. 

“I’m sorry,” you sniff, making sure to not let your tears fall down her dress. “I think I’ve been keeping that for a long time.”

“It’s okay… I’m glad you said that.” 

“Yeah… I think I’m glad too,” you both chuckle. 

“__?”

You hum.

“Just talk to Jungkook. If you’re worried about him moving out, he’s not. I can tell you that much.” 

You break the hug and look at Nayeon. “Nayeon, he literally has everything packed. I think he’s leaving early in the morning tomorrow.”

Nayeon fixes a strand of stray hairs from your hair framing your face. “Hm. He has?” You nod. “Well, as I said, he’s not leaving. Trust me. But you have to tell him everything that you told me just now. Be honest, __. It feels scary right now but, try to take a leap of faith, okay? This is not some toxic positivity shit or anything like that, but just be honest, alright?” 

Nibbling on your bottom lip, you look at her hesitantly. “Are you… are you sure?” 

Nayeon nods, and she looks so sure of herself that it may have fired up a little bit of hope in you. 

The party is still ongoing, but you decide that it’s time for you to clock out. After you bid your goodbyes to Nayeon and her now husband, to Doyeon and to Taehyung, you head out of the venue to try and book a taxi. You couldn’t find Jungkook earlier at the party, so you decided to send him a text that says you were going home. 

“Need a ride?” 

The ever-familiar voice expectedly appears to be Jungkook when you look at him. 

“Hey,” you greet. “No. I was just about to book an Uber.” 

Jungkook’s brows furrow. You think he looks handsome under the moonlight. “We can ride together in my car. I’m going home as well.”

“N-no, no, ‘s really fine,” you wave your hand, emphasizing your point. 

Jungkook grows more confused. Then: “Are you drunk?” 

You wince, hating that he instantly knows right away. 

“Sorta, kinda…” 

“And you want to Uber?” You pout. You hear him scoff. “There’s no way I’m leaving you alone in this state. Okay, let’s get you to my car.” 

“I’m fine, really,” you say but it sounds whiny even to your ears. 

“You can be stubborn all you want. But in the passenger’s seat.” Jungkook gives you a sharp stare, but his hold on your wrist is gentle as he guides you to the parking lot. 

He wears the seatbelt around your waist and lets you settle on your seat, rounding the car to get behind the wheel right after. You look away. You thought he'd be more... not nice to you since you just left him earlier with a poor excuse.

You feel guilty. So guilty. Jungkook is so... he makes you feel so loved but you're just... so confused. You're so scared it doesn't even make sense.

When he starts the engine, he asks, “Why did you drink so much?” 

It's easy to ignore the heavy thoughts in your head when you're half-asleep at this point.

“I dunno. The champagne was so good… I bet it was probably expensive. I can’t have that much free stuff until –” you stop, as if remembering something, sitting upright. “When is Taehyung’s wedding?” 

“He doesn’t have a wedding, ba—__. He hasn’t proposed to Hyerin yet.” 

You slump in your chair hearing that. 

“Why? They’re so perfect together… they should marry…” You say before dropping back down to your seat again. The AC in Jungkook’s car whirrs softly in your ear, and when you look to the side, you find yourself staring at his side profile.

He’s taken off his white coat, now left with a white shirt and his purple tie. He’s pushed the sleeves up to his forearms, showing the veins all over them.

“Jungkook.” you call him.

“What is it?” He says, momentarily looking at you before focusing back on the road.

“Can I…” you look at his hand. You sniff. “Can I hold your hand?”

Well, he does not expect that at all. But he smiles anyway, taking off one hand on the wheel and reaching for your own hand over the center console. You watch the way his huge palm dwarfs your own, and you almost sigh in relief when he laces his fingers with yours, squeezing your hand as he rests it over his thigh.

The last thing you hear is Jungkook’s soft chuckle before you completely drift off to sleep. 

When you awake, you’re in your room. Seconds after regaining consciousness, you notice the banging in your head – and when you blearily open your eyes, reaching around for your phone, you don’t find it. 

Groaning, you stand up from your bed, realizing you’re now in a shirt and some pajamas. But weirdly enough, you seem to still have your bra on.

You peek through the inside of your shirt and alas, the white lace of your bra from last night’s event welcomes you, and when you stretch the waistband of your shorts to check on your panties, you still adorn the pair of white thong, which means only one thing. 

You haven’t changed completely out of the garments you’ve worn to Nayeon’s wedding and you wonder how it all happened. When you look to the side, your clutch is placed on the nightstand and so you grab it, relieved to find your phone there. 

Shockingly, you read it’s only over 2 am. 

With furrowed brows, you go over to the mirror to check your ensemble. Your face isn’t and doesn't feel as heavy with make-up as it was back at the venue, and you’re definitely dressed down now. 

You remember passing out in Jungkook’s car after he insisted that you ride with him… and everything had been a blur since then. 

Suddenly, an idea goes into your head. 

Did Jungkook… change your clothes and remove your make-up? That’s the only plausible thing that you can consider because you honestly don’t remember ever dressing yourself or going to the bathroom to remove your make-up. And if you did change out of the gown, you would've opted out of your underwear as well. 

Maybe Jungkook did all that. 

And the thought makes you smile. But it drops just as quickly. 

You head towards your door and go straight knocking on Jungkook’s bedroom. 

You don’t expect him to be awake at this point, but when you hear steps coming your way and the doorknob clicking, you stare at Jungkook wide-eyed when he welcomes you with his presence behind the door.

“Hey,” He greets, predictably surprised to see you. “You’re awake.”

“Yeah…” your eyes don’t mean to subtly roam his room. Then that’s when you catch it. The bags lying around his bedroom floor and the neatly piled boxes to the side. Your eyebrows meet each other. “You’re packing?” 

Jungkook nods. “I’m leaving tomorrow, I told you that, didn’t I?” 

“Y-you did, yeah.” You stammer, blinking at him. You suddenly feel like throwing up. “Well, I just came to thank you for…” you trail off, gesturing to your clothes.

Seemingly getting what you mean, Jungkook’s lips curl up into a coy smile. “I hope you don’t mind. I tried to wake you up, but you were complaining about your dress when you were sleeping…”

“Yeah… I’m glad you took it off.” You wince. “That sounds wrong. Anyway, the make-up, too. I have to ask, did I throw up on you?” 

Jungkook laughs, incredulous. “No, no, you didn’t. Are you seriously worried about that?” 

“I just feel bad.” You give him a tight-lipped smile. 

“It’s okay. You should sleep now, it’s late. Do you have a shift tomorrow– or later, actually.” 

“Yeah, I do. But it’s the evening shift. So. You?” 

“I have the morning until three in the afternoon.” 

Nodding, you ask, “Are you leaving at three then? I mean, to your new place?”

“Yeah. Will just pass by here to get some of my stuff.”

You try to look for something on his face. But Jungkook looks casual at best. Now you remember what Nayeon told you. Was she lying when she said you’re going to convince Jungkook not to move out? Because from the looks of it, Jungkook doesn’t seem like anything would budge him from leaving tomorrow. He seems so set on a mission, and you can’t lie and say that it doesn’t break your heart. 

You find yourself thinking about the events at the reception party. How he threw you a quick prom, told you you were beautiful… how he said he missed you. 

Was that all a lie? Just something he said to avoid some sort of dead air? 

Because if he truly misses you, then why would he leave? 

You find yourself getting annoyed. 

“I’ll be back to my room.” You say to get out of the situation. You notice Jungkook getting taken aback by the change of your tone, even more so when you turn on your heels quickly to take the two strides it takes you to your own bedroom. 

In there, you throw yourself on the mattress, the impact affecting you a little bit. You must still be drunk because you feel your vision getting blurry a bit but as you quickly shut and open your eyes, everything goes back to normal. 

You sigh. 

Well, maybe you’re actually meant to be alone and it’s true that you’re not meant for any romantic relationships. You’ll die alone and you’ll just have to deal with the heartbreaks you went through your whole life. 

A stray tear escapes your eye, and you quickly raise the back of your hand to wipe at it. You glare at the wall dividing your and Jungkook’s rooms, finding it annoying that you’re not really mad at him. It’d be so easy if you were mad at him… but you have no reason to.

But why is he so stubborn? Why isn’t he saying anything? Can he just… can it just be him who takes the leap of faith, so you won’t have to? You know that’s unfair, though. It’s juvenile. 

In a burst of courage, you take one pillow from your bed and stomp your way out of your bedroom, finding yourself in front of Jungkook’s room again and knocking. 

He opens it, rightfully surprised to see you again. “H-hey, __, I thought—”

“Can I sleep here?” 

You can see the way his face contorts into confusion. “What?” 

“Can I sleep in your room?” You reiterate, but you’re already forcing your way in. You throw your pillow on his own heap of dark ones, frowning when you see the bags on the floor. “Are you just going to pack forever? You’ve been packing since yesterday.”

Your clipped tone throws Jungkook off a little bit, but he doesn’t point that out, though, when he speaks. “No. I’m actually done now.” 

“Okay? Well, then, let’s sleep.” You say, staring at him. He looks stoned in his position from the edge of the bed, so utterly confused. 

“Are you… still drunk?” 

“What? No.”

“O… kay?” Jungkook looks extra cautious when he seats himself on the mattress by your feet. “Are you sure?” 

“About what?”

“I don’t know. About not being drunk and… sleeping here.” 

“Yeah,” you answer, pointing out the obvious. “Why are you acting like we haven’t had sleepovers before? You used to sleep in my room when there was a spider in your closet.” 

Jungkook makes a face. “It was a huge spider.” 

You roll your eyes, going into a lying position, making sure to leave some space for him on the side. “Jungkook.” 

“Okay, I’m going. So demanding.” 

He playfully clicks his tongue as he lays on the bed as well, sliding his body across the mattress. He doesn’t expect the way you take his arm to spread it on your side of the bed, and you don’t let him say another word when you lay your head on it, keeping your hands close to your chest as you snuggle beside him. 

You could feel there was a moment there that Jungkook stiffened for a bit, but he relaxes just as quickly, feeling him caress your head tentatively as if feeling you out before he goes for it completely. 

“This is what you’re gonna be missing out on when you move out.” you mumble.

You’re grateful when he only says: “Hm?”

“Nothing.” You open your eyes and because of the close proximity, your eyes are at the level of the side view of his chest, and you see the way his thin white shirt clings to his body, rising up and down with his breathing. “I saw your keys earlier. I’m glad you like the Claddagh.” 

Jungkook laughs. “The Claddagh, huh? I knew you knew what that keychain meant,” You frown when you realize you were supposed to pretend you didn’t know that. Oh, well, he figured you out right away, anyway. “I really like it, by the way. It was very thoughtful,” Jungkook says. You can’t see him in your position, but you just know he has a smile on his face. He sounds like it. 

“Thank you. I thought about gifting you a watch… but watches are expensive, so…” You decide to joke, and Jungkook laughs which makes you smile. 

“I would choose the Claddagh any day. I just… I really like it. I interpreted it as a deep sense of belonging and shared history, and I’ve known you for eight years, so that seems very fitting. I’m glad you chose to give me that.” 

It was also a reminder of your relationship. Your love for each other. The loyalty that lies in its foundation, and how you’ve managed to build that over the years. Jungkook’s ultimately your soulmate – that you’re sure of – even though that’s a bit of a cliche and you don’t exactly believe in it entirely. A bit of a conflict, really, since you’re a hopeless romantic. 

But you’ve long known that you and Jungkook are more than just friends. You trust and respect each other beyond words – and it’s more than what you could say about your previous romantic partners. Sure, there was that sense of admiration for one another with your ex-boyfriends, but Jungkook is different. He’s always been different. 

You’ve known that all along – but it’s only now that you decided to read between the lines. 

And you want to tell him that. So badly. But you choose to let the gentle tips of his fingers lull you to that comfortable annexe of warmth, easing you from overwhelming thoughts. 

Has Jungkook always felt like the embodiment of comfort for you? Has he always felt like everything good you can imagine having in your life?

Then, you feel him lean down to the top of your head. “You smell so nice. You aren’t my soulmate after all.” 

That makes you violently crane your neck up to look at him. “What?”

“There was this article that Tae sent to me. It was from Cosmo, I think. It says you’re not supposed to be able to smell your soulmate.” He says, looking so serious that you can’t figure if he’s bullshitting you.

You lean on your elbow so you can look down properly at him, saying, “That’s not even plausible. Since when was Cosmo reliable to you? That’s ridiculous. We literally have four hundred different types of olfactory receptors which help us perceive various smells – I mean, unless you’ve damaged them somehow, or there’s a disruption in your signal transduction, or you’re anosmic – which I know you’re not – then I don’t think that’s true.” 

Jungkook laughs and you can’t help but frown. 

“It made sense, okay? If you ignore the science stuff.”

“You’re a doctor.” You quickly counter.

He rolls his eyes. “I mean, for the record, I believe in the existence of extraterrestrial life, so that’s that.”

“Ugh,” you flop down on the bed again, falling back on Jungkook’s body. He scoots closer to hold you close against him, which you welcome casually. You don’t even know how you got this comfortable, but you’re glad either way. He feels so big and warm. “Are you going to show me that Youtube video of top ten UFO sightings around the world again?” 

“You don’t think that Nebraska one looked very real?” Jungkook says with disbelief.

“No,” you turn to Jungkook only to find him already looking at you. “They were college boys, Jungkook. They probably just turned nineteen or something. Have you seen their eyes in the video? It was pixelated as hell, but if I were that high—”

Jungkook suddenly snorts, effectively cutting you off. “Ohh, if you were that high?”

You jab at his chest which only makes him laugh louder. 

“I tried my first weed with you.” You pout.

Jungkook catches the stray hair that falls from behind your ear and hides it back there again as he says, “You coughed nonstop and had a sore-throat the next day. You have baby lungs.” 

You roll your eyes and go back to lying on his arm. “Whatever. All of that still doesn’t justify that we’re not soulmates.” 

“The concept of soulmates doesn’t even have a scientific explanation.” Jungkook chuckles. 

“No…? But there's psychological research about it; the attachment theory, look it up.” 

“There’s also cognitive dissonance.” Jungkook pitches in. 

“That’s so mean!” You gasp, but you know Jungkook’s only teasing when you see that he’s got that huge stupid grin on his face.

He apologizes in between his laughter, squeezing your waist a bit before he says, “Okay, okay. But what if you’re my soulmate, but I’m not yours?” 

“That’s not how soulmate-ism works. Isn’t it nice to think that there’s like a system to it? Like if you’re my soulmate, then that would automatically make me your soulmate. It doesn’t make sense otherwise.” Your eyebrows knit together as you explain.

“I guess you’re right…” Then you hear him letting out a loud sigh. “For what it's worth, I think I’d be really happy if I was your soulmate.”

You smile against his pec after he says the words. 

You like Jeon Jungkook. You like him so much it’s starting to feel unbearable.

There’s silence that hangs in the air for some time before you look up at Jungkook alarmingly. “Kook.” He doesn’t say anything. You lean on your elbow again to peer down at him, only to see that he’s now closed his eyes. “Jungkook.” 

Finally, he stirs. But his eyes are still closed. “Hm?”

“Don’t sleep yet.” 

“Uh-huh.” He gives your waist a brief squeeze again.

“I’m watching you.” 

He chuckles. “What is it?” 

“Let’s talk more.” 

“How are you still not sleepy?” 

“Because…” you drop your head down to his chest this time. “I want to know if you could ever —” you shrug, staring at his ceiling. “—cannibalize someone.”

“I like this. Conversation’s getting raunchy,” You hear him snorting through his breath. “Is this your pillowtalk?” 

“Yes.” 

“In that case, that’s an interesting question. I have never really thought about that.”  

“Really? Never?” 

“I’ve never been in any situation where I had to think about that, thank god.”

You laugh together. “Okay, but if you really had to, would you?” 

“I don’t know… I’m a huge germaphobe, you know that. But I guess humans inherently have indomitable spirits and that conditions us to do whatever it takes to ensure our survival under extreme conditions. I don’t think I’m beyond that.”   

You nod against his chest. Mindlessly, you start tracing random lines over his shirt, and you wait for Jungkook to pry your hand off or say something to stop you or ask you what you’re doing, but he doesn’t really say anything. 

“It’s fascinating, right? The way we can just alter our brains and mindsets when we’re put under certain conditions. It’s amazing and weird at the same time how we work psychologically.” 

“Exactly.” You feel Jungkook nodding. 

“This is– of course this is not an extreme condition where I have to cannibalize someone,” you chuckle, which earns the same thing from Jungkook. You continue, “but you know when you’re experiencing a heartbreak and you think it’s the end of the world but then you wake up one day and suddenly you’re fine? 

When Jungkook turns quiet, you know you’ve touched on a subject that feels personal. 

You sigh. “I broke up with Mingyu awhile ago.” 

“Oh.”

You hum. “Yeah… like a month ago?”

“Ah. I had a hunch.”

“But you didn’t ask,” you smile. “Well, anyway I just want you to know.” 

Silence.

Then, “Do you feel… do you feel sad about it?” 

“That’s what’s weird,” you say. “Because I don’t necessarily feel sad about the break-up, or the relationship. But it’s more like – the thought of breaking up with somebody again.” You chuckle, but there’s no humor to it. “I feel like you can only take so many break-ups in your life before you completely give up on love, you know? And it’s like… I don’t even get it… I mean, I’m decent, aren’t I? I can hold up a conversation, I make sense, I have a good job, and I don’t look bad – although, maybe that’s what’s wrong all along?” You swallow the lump in your throat. “Am I ugly?” 

“Hey,” Jungkook calls, and you feel him rising from his lying position just as you feel tears slowly streaming down your face. 

You scold yourself for it – because what the hell even is this about? Just earlier you were talking about cannibalism and now you’re tearing up. Your emotions are all over the place, and it doesn’t help that Jungkook’s quick to dote on you, guiding your back as you both sit on the bed instead.

You inhale a sharp breath. “Look at me, I’m a mess,” you look at him through blurry eyes, hoping to look apologetic at the very least for barging in his room at fuckass o’clock and disturbing his packing and not noticing that he’s been in love with you for the past eight years. God, you want to say sorry for a lot of things. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m crying, it’s not that deep.” 

“If it’s bothering you then it’s a big deal. And I’m looking right at you,” Jungkook wraps an arm around your shoulders as he looks you in the eyes. “I’m looking at you and you’re beautiful, you’re intelligent, and you’re the funniest person on Earth I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. I’m so glad I met you.” 

“Well… do you still feel that way when I only ever seem to come to you when I wanna vent or cry?” You ask, attempting to joke, but your voice breaks at the end.

It cracks a smile on Jungkook’s face though. “That’s not true at all. You also come to annoy me.” 

Your laughter turns into a sob and that’s when Jungkook wraps an arm around your shoulder to pull you close to his side, letting your head fall to his bicep and resting his chin on top of yours. It’s a barely-there gesture, but you’re pretty sure you feel him kiss the crown of your head. 

“I know… I know we still have a lot to talk about, __. That we’re glossing over the important things. But I want to say sorry. I never said sorry about what happened back at the resort. For Mingyu. For doing what we did. I never said sorry about bombarding you with all those things and for taking so long to talk to you just because I was scared. But right now, I’m saying sorry. I have been completely unfair to you all this time.” 

You quickly get out of his hold to look up at him. “No, you—” 

“Just…” Jungkook cuts you off. “Just let me, okay? I know you’re gonna say none if it was my fault but you’re right about what you said. You’re right about doubting my feelings for you.” 

“Jungkook…”

He nods. “I was in denial for the most part about my feelings for you. Ever since that thing happened with Jiyeon in college, I found it hard to trust somebody again. I slept around in my last year of college because it made me feel good about myself, made me think I was desirable and that someone cheating on me doesn’t mean shit when I had all those women who willingly slept with me. I was like that during my first year in med school, too. Couldn't really get serious with somebody because – because what if they do the same thing again?” Jungkook smiles bitterly. “And then… I met you. It started out as a crush and I was so sure it wasn’t going to be more than that, but then, we were in almost the same classes and we became friends,” Jungkook looks at you fondly and you almost melt in his arms. “And then I found myself liking you, and then I fell hard – really fucking hard,” he chuckles to himself. “It was during spring break of second year when I realized I was fucked and that I was in love with my best friend.” 

“S-spring break?” You whisper, not sure what he meant. 

“You don’t remember it?” Jungkook asks. He looks over your face and suddenly he’s caressing your cheek with his fingers. He swipes his thumb over it, wiping a stray tear away. He smiles before he says, “I caught the flu that time. I called you, but you were over at your parents. Then the next day I woke up and you were at my place telling me to take care of my health because how can I study medicine when my immune system is shit.”

“Oh, that…” you trail off. Suddenly, the fragments of that time become clear to you. The flu wasn’t that bad, only took him three days to fully recover.

“Yeah. But then that was also the time when you told me Eunwoo asked you to be his girlfriend and that you said yes.” 

You inhale a shaky breath.

“I– I tried to forget about my feelings, because I didn’t want to harbor all those feelings for you when you already had a boyfriend. I went to all those dates in the hopes that I could feel something from someone. I tried to date Sora. It was good. It was a good partnership. But then… Eunwoo proposed, and I don’t know – I guess I deluded myself so bad that I have fully moved on from you since then – but then I was faced with the reality that you were going to spend your life with somebody else and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I was so bad at handling my emotions. So stupid. Sora broke up with me because she figured I love you.” 

You stare at him with your mouth agape. You would've never guessed why they broke up. You always thought they were so perfect for each other… 

“And yeah, the break-up with Eunwoo happened and it took you two years to heal. I didn’t want to make a move because I simply didn’t want to be that kind of guy who takes advantage of a woman’s vulnerability after a break-up, you know? And we moved in together two years ago and…” You wait as he trails off. “I guess I just got comfortable with our set-up.” 

“How do you mean?”

“It was like, everything I imagined us to be. Living together, sharing everything together. I thought no one could take that away from me, even if I didn’t ask you out. I’m not telling you to believe it, but I wasn’t with a lot of women for the past two years… yeah, sure, I dated them very briefly, but it was out of genuine attempt to find somebody for myself because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship by confessing. Being your best friend was and still is more important to me than being your boyfriend. I couldn’t care less how I can have you; I want you in any way – and if that meant being your platonic friend the rest of our time, then I was that. I am that. Even now.”

You can’t find your words. You’ve imagined your talk countless times in your head, but they all fell short to give you a taste of what the real thing would be like. 

“So… I’m sorry. I’m sorry for keeping my feelings for nearly eight years. I’m sorry I kept something important to you about Mingyu. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner. Just… I apologize. I feel like I broke your trust.” 

It’s quiet for a while before you break the silence.

“Jungkook,” You call him. He meets your gaze. It’s soft and it’s sweet and you realize he’s always looked at you like that. How could you have not noticed? “You’re very important to me.” 

“I’m glad.” He smiles. A small one that makes him look all boyish. The urge to keep him in your pocket even though he’s much bigger than you becomes huge.

“And I want you in any way, too.” You say, staring intently at him. 

You watch as Jungkook stares back at you. There’s an agonizing stretch of seconds when you see his eyes darting down from your eyes to your lips, and you don’t mean to bite the bottom one, suddenly feeling the thick tension rising in the air.

“Can I hug you?” You swallow the lump in your throat. 

“I would really love that.” 

You don’t know how it happens, but the last thing you see is Jungkook’s wall clock pointing to 3:15 am before you let your eyes rest.

[ READ BELOW ]

this chapter is not over yet! tumblr has a 1k paragraph/block limit in a single post and so i can't put the whole thing in this. please look thru the reblogs to read the last scene of the chapter and the EPILOGUE or click on this [ link ]

[fev3rish]

STUPID, SLEEPY, AND ALL YOURS. kenji tots w/ v

unbelievably drowsy, kenji speaks so fast he forgets to think. this leads to … feelings.

cw. sleepy kenjiiii zzzzzzz, kenji has a hard time being vulnerable but he’ll try for reade, kenji loves you, i project on kenji, i love kenji so much, unproofreaded, a bit of hurt but a lot of comfort and fluff

notes. im sleepy… do not repost or translate this work unless done with permission.

thinking about sleepy kenji sato who doesn’t think when he’s all sleepy; all he wants is to lie next to you.

you’re not in bed yet, he has all the space this time. he uses it to twist and turn continuously and wrinkle your pretty white sheets, messing them up more than they already are. what was that thing for work you had to do that was more important than letting him hold you? kenji groans, the soft blanket against his skin feeling like the spikes of cacti without your skin against his. it’s so cold, and he blames you for it, because what are you if not his portable sun? he misses you so much, and you’re only a room away!

he hopes his whines are loud enough for you to hear. maybe you’ll come check up on him? oh, he hopes you will! he really does hope you will. he’s so sleepy, he might just cry if he doesn’t have you in his arms in the next minute. he wishes you would just crawl into bed with him; that way, your scent would be on the sheets, and your hair would be in his face as he spooned you from behind. he always preferred it that way. to kenji, fucking someone was easy—but to lay in the same sheets, intertwined; to be able to withstand that sort of intimacy—it was too much. he wasn’t ready for that. he wasn’t ready to wake up to your face and realize that yes, he is going soft; yes, he is inlove, and yes, he is yours.

kenji should be happy he has all the space, he knows he should be, but he isn’t. he wants to share it with you. he wants to drape what was once his blanket over your body, and he wants to hold you close and kiss the top of your head as you drift off to sleep. he wants to give you the extra pillow he always saved for himself, and he doesn’t even know why he wants to do it. maybe he’s crazy, or maybe he’s in love. in his core, kenji already knows why.

he’s all yours.

the sound of the door opening has him peeking out of the covers, eyes gazing at your equally tired form. you jump back, almost hitting your lower back on the knob of the door. you catch yourself fast enough. kenji just looks at you and smiles. “why are you still awake?” you walk over to him, and sit on the edge of the bed. he readjusts himself so that he lays strictly on his side. “i couldn’t sleep.” kenji answers, but he’s lying and you know that more than anyone.

kenji’s easy to read, the problem is no one bothers getting close enough.

you don’t pry. kenji wishes you did, he would’ve had an excuse to talk to you about you. it’s so hard to show his love sometimes, so hard to tell you he values you—he wants to tell you the true extent of it all, to tell you that he doesn’t love you despite your flaws, but with all your flaws. he wants to, so badly, but theres a lump in his throat that stops him and he’s been trying to spit it out for so long that he fears you might just leave him at this point.

he’s feared you might leave him at many points.

yet, here you are, and here he is, draping a blanket over your body as you turn around to kiss his cheek goodnight. he spoons you, and he realizes that you’re still here. he should focus on that, first. on loving you.

the steady pitter-patters of the rain keep you company as kenji buries his shoulder into your neck, soft hair tickling your chin as you smile in your drowsy state. “you took sooooo long.” his voice is muffled, and you chuckle a bit because his voice vibrates against your shoulder so hard that you shiver. he’s whiney, tired, and so, so, lovey dovey. you love it. “i’m so sorry, kenji, you know how work can be.” a short response, yet the sound of your voice has kenji grinning like a schoolgirl against you—and he squeezes just a little bit tighter.

“no, ‘m sorry.” he says. you raise an eyebrow. “why are you sorry? no need to be sorry for being all lovey with me, bab—”

“i’m sorry for not being lovey enough.” he interrupts, and you part your mouth to reply but nothing comes out besides a confused “huh?” he sighs, and sits up—and you lean against the headboard of his bed, ready to listen. always ready to listen.

“i… didn’t want to get too close to you, you know ?” he mutters, his hooded eyes looking right, left, down, anywhere but at you—because he’s not himself. he’s exhausted, everything’s been taking a toll on him and the only anchor he has is you. “i wanted to distance myself. i didn’t want you to get caught up with me. i’m… god, i’m a fucking wreck…” he trails off, and you want to reach out but he’s not done. “before you, i didn’t think i could do anything right—because i didn’t. i couldn’t. what was the point being a super famous baseball star and fucking ultraman if at the end of the day, you realized that every day was the same as any other. you come home to no one, and your bed is always cold. you comb your own hair, and there’s no one else to drape your blanket over because you’re all alone in such a big house and it makes you realize that even though you’re—”

he bites his lip, trying to hold back tears, but then he looks at you, and it’s like he wants to cry. to be coddled over, to be doted on. so he lets himself shed a few tears, to make up for the frustrations he’s had. “even though you’re ultraman, you’re still capable of feeling small.” he concludes, and as if a switch had flipped—he practically falls into your chest, droplets of his own tears staining your shirt. you coo, and you comb through his hair and put the blanket over the two of you as you kiss his temple. “it was always like that.” he whispered.

it’s then you realize that kenji, even though he tries to act high and mighty, is truly just miserable.

“then i met you.”

you don’t know what to say.

“it was like you crashed head first into every wall i had, you know? i didn’t want to be in a relationship with you at first. i wasn’t worth you. i’m never going to be worth it for you; atleast, i don’t think s-”

“no.” is all you say, and kenji, drowsy as he is, looks up at you. “no, you’re worth everything. you’re worth so much more than you know, kenji, you’re worth every second i spent breaking those walls of yours dow—”

“that’s what i’m talking about.” he interrupts, for the second time. and you look at him questioningly. “you always have something to say. you never run out of words. you never run out of love. you love me. you love me so much, don’t you?” he asks, and faced with his handsome face and husky voice your blushing self can only nod. “yeah, i can tell. that’s why i’m sorry. you never run out of words when you’re with me, but god, i always run out of words when i’m with you. it’s like, if i could, i’d follow you around forever. in complete silence. you’re so beautiful i can’t even say it.”

you’re down bad; so is he.

“i promised not to get too close, and now i’m laying on your chest in tears because i love you too much to even word it. that’s really fucking stupid, right? i’m stupid. i’m stupid, sleepy, and all yours.” he babbled, and before long, he was dead asleep on your chest. his tangent left you in love, in shock, and in utter disarray. you did not mind the drying tears on your shirt, nor were you gonna mind how awkward it would be in the morning, and you wouldn’t dream of minding kenji being vulnerable in front of you. right now, you were so happy you could cry—you were so happy, you did cry.

this time, kenji fell asleep looking at you.

[sturnsslut]

dressing room - chris sturniolo

a/n : this might suck ?? idk 🌚 anyways for those of you who did my poll you will be getting your smut soon 👅also we’re almost to 200!! woohoo 🤗

+ readers name in this story is LIA, i don’t use y/n 😭

warnings - switch!chris x sub!reader, fingering, oral, pet names (baby, ma, good girl, mama), p in v, unprotected sex, public, slight choking and degrading, praising, caught? little bit of fluff at the end

summary : reader is out dress shopping with her friend, but in the process, chris walks into the wrong dressing room

————————————————————————-

‘ baby tell me that you want it deeper ‘

“ come on!! “ my friend yelled, dragging me into the store she insisted taking me to

i rolled my eyes and followed behind her, i hated going out and shopping. i could’ve just ordered online.

the store was almost empty with only about 4 other people in it, not including me and my friend, aaliyah

her and her boyfriend were going out to prom and i decided to not go because i didn’t have a date

she eyed around the store before spotting a shimmery forest green dress “oooh what about this one?”

“ i like it “ i shrugged and smiled nonchalantly, “it matches your eyes” i complimented and she giggled before hanging the dress over her arm along with 2 other dresses she had spotted

she wandered around the store for a few more minutes, me dragging behind

“ hey do you like this one?” aaliyah turned around to see me staring off

“ lia? are you good?” i shook my head once i realized i was in a trance

“ okay…y’know, you should come to prom with me and jason. “ aaliyah smirked at me with a shit eating grin

“ fuck no.” i immediately responded, was she crazy? i didn’t even have a date.

“oh come on-it would be fun!” she began “chris is gonna be thereee” she teased dragging out the word

i playfully punched her shoulder “aaliyah! someone from school could be here!”

she giggled and led me to a section of darker colored

dresses

“look at how pretty these are! come on, lia. these would all look so pretty on you.”

“ aaliyah, you know i love you. but im not third wheeling the entire night of prom, that’s just embarrassing. i’d rather not go at all.”

“could you at least try on some dresses?” she looked at me with puppy eyes

i thought about how happy it would make her, since im not going, what’s the harm in trying on a few dresses.

i rolled my eyes, “fine” i sighed as she grabbed my hand and started grabbing dresses from the racks

“but this place is getting busy, we need to hurry up”

there were people flooding in out of nowhere, the store swarming with all different kinds of girls and their boyfriends

“excuse me! hi, we need a dressing room please.” aaliyah spoke to an employee with my arm still in her grip.

the employee led us over and gave us a key, then walking away without saying a word

dickhead.

“okay! so-“ aaliyah was cut off by the ping of her phone

“shit ..lia jason texted me saying it was an emergency. are you gonna be okay if i go for a second?”

i nodded “just text me” she blew an air kiss and swiftly walked out of the store

“well.” i mumbled to myself before walking into the changing room, setting the dresses down and getting undressed

im on my last two dresses after about 30 minutes, and aaliyah still isn’t back. at least i took pictures.

i was in the process of taking off my current dress when i heard a knock on the door

assuming it was aaliyah, i quickly finished taking off my dress leaving me in my bra and calvin klein boxers

when i opened the door, my heart stopped. theres no fucking way.

it was chris. chris fucking sturniolo, the same chris i’ve had a crush on since freshman year was standing infront of me while im half naked.

he looked up from his phone and his eyes widened, “oh shit! im so fucking sorry” he apologized covering his eyes with his hand and looking down

i had closed the door, covering my body peeking out just my head

“i- um…chris?” i furrowed my brows trying to hide the embarrassment creeping up on my face

his face was pink and he looked flustered “yeah…”

“ you can look now. im decent” i let out a small giggle

he slowly removed his hand from his face and smiled when he saw me

“oh hey lia! it’s good to see you, what are you doing here?”

“i was looking at dresses.” i shrugged

“oh for prom? who’s the lucky guy” he questioned rather quickly

“uhhh no one…my friend wanted me to try them on but she’s not even here.”

“where is she?” he asked looking around

“something came up with her boyfriend.” i shrugged and so did he, leaving us in an awkward silence

“can you help?” i blurted out without even thinking what i had said

“with the whole dress thing? uh yeah that’s fine, i’ll wait out here”

“you can come in…that was the whole point” i laughed and opened the door more, welcoming him in

usually, i would never do something like but i was feeling confident

“i-you sure?” he asked furrowing his brows and tilting his head

“yes! come on before someone sees you” i grabbed his arm and yanked him in the room, closing the door behind us

chris moved the dresses to the side and sat in the middle of the long seat that took up one side of the dressing room

once he was comfortable he leaned against the wall, manspreading as he looked at me

“can you hand me that dress?” i asked chris, pointing to the royal blue dress next to him

he leaned forward and handed me the dress with a smile as i slipped it on

with my back facing chris, i looked at myself in the mirror as i slipped on the dress

i noticed chris’ eyes scanning my body and biting his lower lip slightly, “eyes up here” i laughed as i adjusted the straps on my shoulders

he must’ve forgot there was a mirror right there, or he just didn’t care

his face flushed a light pink color as he cleared his throat, stuttering in a nervous tone

“ i wasn’t staring, i was…” he looked at the ground then back at me and laughed when he couldn’t think of anything to say

i laughed with him but my laughter came to a stop when i realized i couldn’t zip up my dress all the way

“you need help ma?” he asked me

“yes.” i replied shamefully as chris rose up smiling

i grabbed a handful of my hair and moved it to the side as he came up behind me

“shit i think its stuck” he put his hand on my waist for balance as he fumbled with the zipper

i felt my face get hot at the sudden movement

i felt his warm breath on my neck and looked at him in the mirror, he was so focused while i was over here crumbling under his touch

“anddd..got it” he stepped back and smiled at me

i fixed my hair and turned around, “so how does it look?” i posed and spun around

he stood and starred at me for a few seconds without saying a word, my confidence draining slowly before he spoke “shit you look amazing”

i felt my face flush and i giggled “shut up” and turned around to face myself in the mirror, checking myself out

i snapped a picture on my phone and sent it to aaliyah, hoping for an answer

i put my phone down and sighed “okay” i turned back around to chris who was starring at me in awe

“what?” i giggled titling my head. chris shook his head and cleared his throat “nothing” he replied dryly

i turned and faced myself in the mirror once more, chris behind me already knowing what to do

he unzipped the dress as it slid down to my ankles, leaving me in my bra and boxers again

“oh shit. when did you get a tattoo?” he laughed while looking at the tattoo i had on my lower back

“why are you looking?” i raised a brow while looking at him through the mirror

he scoffed and rolled his eyes before replying “you have such a nice body ma”

i felt his hands creep up on my bare waist, sending shivers down my spine as he rested his head on my shoulder, making eye contact with me through the mirror

he then at me and put his pink lips up to my ear, “you look so pretty” i felt his warm breath against my neck and it gave me goosebumps

i turned to face him, looking back with his hands still on my waist

i stared at him for a few moments before i connected our lips

we made out passionately and i turned around to face him, placing my arms around the back of his neck with his hands on my waist, pulling my body closer to his

then i broke the kiss, our lips still hovering over one another for a moment before welding our lips together for a second time

chris moved his mouth down towards my neck, sucking and kissing my sensitive spot leaving hickeys, making me let out a small whimper

i tilted my head to the side with my eyes shut and fingers tangled in his hair as he marked me up all over

his lips found their way back to mine as we found ourselves making our way to the seat

chris sat down and i straddled him

we made out as his hands flew back to my waist as i grinded my hips against his growing boner

my hands fumbled with the band of his sweatpants while we were making out

he lifted his hips up and i slid off his sweatpants down to his ankles, him kicking them to the side

i grinded against his clothed cock as i became more and more soaked, desperate for something

he guided my hips with his hands on my waist, him whimpering as i did so

he jutted his hips forward and i felt his erection against my throbbing pussy

i decided to test the waters so i reached my hand down between us and starting palming him, causing a whiny whimper to leave his lips

i reached my hand into the waistband of his boxers, wrapping my hand around his length before he stopped me

“on your knees, now” he ordered and i obeyed, finding myself in between his legs and on my knees

he raised his hips in the air and pulled down his boxers down in one motion, his cock springing up and hitting his stomach

i felt my eyes widen and my heart stop beating at the sight of his dick, he was huge

my mouth watered at the thought of him slamming into me. his tip was light pink, covered in precum with a vein running down the side of it

chris laughed once he saw my face and stood up grabbing his dick, rubbing his tip along my lips “c’mon baby, you can do it.”

i wrapped my hand around the end of his member and placed teasing licks on his tip, causing him to groan due to the anticipation

i licked all the way up his cock and swirled my tongue around his tip

finally, i took all of him in my mouth, jerking off what i couldn’t fit which was easily an inch or two.

i started slow, gagging and whimpering against his hard dick causing vibrations to flow all through out his body

then i increased my speed bobbing my head back and forth, making him whimper

“mm baby…” i looked up at him to find him already looking at me, biting his lower lips “shit just like that.”

his words fueled me to give it my all, the pet name soaking me down to my core. i removed my hand and took in every single inch of him

speeding up my pace, i moved my tongue alongside the bottom half of his cock as i fit all of him into my mouth

chris was groaning and whimpering and letting out all types of cuss words while i worked my magic

i took all of him in my mouth, tears streaming down the side of my cheeks caused by my gag reflex

“gonna let me cum in that pretty little mouth? hm?”

i moaned against his dick, which we both knew was a yes. i felt him twitching in my mouth, warning that he was close

“shit ma i’m gonna-“ he whimpered as he shot thick gushes of cum down my throat

“swallow.” i did as told and stuck out my tongue to show him with saliva dripping down my chin and my lips pink and puffy.

he grabbed my chin and moved my head upwards to make me look at him. his eyes scanned every detail on my face.

the now dry tears all down my cheeks, my lips wet and swollen, my eyes low and tired, and my chin covered in a coat of my own slobber

“good girl” he growled in a low tone, looking at me with lust filled eyes. he leaned down to kiss me, before he ordered me to take off my remaining clothes.

i was already barley had anything on, so taking them off was easy and i sat watching chris take off what he had on

my eyes found their way to his hands, the veins that ran across them and his long slender fingers that moved at a quick pace to take off his shirt

chris threw his shirt to the side and moved his head over to look at me

“its not nice to stare mama. if you want my fingers in you just say that” my face felt hot and i felt my pussy leaking, i needed him so bad

“hm? i asked you a question” he looked at me tilting his head, walking closer towards me

“yes…chris please” i looked up at him with pleading eyes as he stood over me

he looked me up and down and slightly bit his bottom lip, “lay down”

i laid flat on my back with my legs hanging off of the edge, chris standing between my legs and placing one of them over his shoulder

“what do you want ma?” he looked down at me with low eyes and smirking

“anything, chris please! your hands, your mouth, i don’t care! i just need you” i whined

he grazed his hand up and down my folds causing me to let out a choked moan

“please chris…” i begged in a whiny tone, jutting my hips forward for more of him

“patience baby” he spoke in a low tone, i tried to wait but my core ached for some sort of relief

that’s when he shoved two fingers inside of me, and i covered my mouth, squeezing my eyes shut to stay quiet

his fingers curled inside my pussy and hitting my g-spot everytime, it was hell trying to stay quiet with the way he was pleasing me.

the fact his already rock hard dick was laying on my stomach and so close to my pussy, given the position we were in, was not helping my case.

i grabbed his biceps for support as i already felt my orgasm approaching “so…close” i struggled to speak but i pushed out those few words

he frowned and spoke in a teasing tone “aww, already? you like the the way my fingers feel in you baby?”

i could only hum in response, that’s when he kneeled down and started to suck my clit as his fingers moved at an ungodly speed

due to the sudden added pleasure, i accidentally let out an almost pornographic moan

i threw my head back and closed my legs around his head, clenching around his fingers as he was still sucking my clit

chris placed soft kisses onto my core before kissing his way up to neck, leaving more hickeys than before

“i feel you clenching baby, let it go” the pet name immediately sent me over the edge, my legs shaking as i moaned and released all over chris’ fingers

i felt him smile against my neck and removed his fingers, sticking them in his mouth and sucking them clean before kissing me, the taste of my release on his lips turning me on even more

“you taste so good ma, can you gimmie one more?” he asked in a low tone before grabbing the tip of his dick and running it up and down my folds

“chris im sensitive…i cant” i replied in a whiny tone, causing him to smirk

“yes you can. you gonna be good for me?” i nodded before he slowly pushed himself all the way in, giving me time to adjust to his size before starting slow

“fuck your so big- i dont know if i can take it” i balled my fists up as he stood over me, smirking as he took in my expression

“shhh…you got it ma. i’m gonna move now, okay?” and with that, he started moving slightly faster

i was overstimulated and sensitive, but the pain soon turned into pleasure once i got used to it

“faster chris, please” i looked up at him with my big brown eyes, begging for him to go faster

those words were all he needed for him to pickup his pace and start thrusting into me faster than ever

that’s when we heard a knock at the door, it was a staff member. chris leaned down to my ear and whispered, “you’re gonna talk to him, or i’ll stop.”

“excuse me? miss?” the employee questioned from the other side

“y-yes?” my voice was shaky as chris never stopped his trusts, “is everything okay in there? i heard screams” he sounded concerned

at that moment, chris started rubbing fast circles on my clit, kissing and sucking at my neck as he did so

“yes yes oh my god!” i slapped my hand over my mouth when i realized what i had just said, but redeeming myself nonetheless.

“yes! everything’s…FINE!” i stuttered as he relentlessly pounded into me, him laughing lowly as he saw the effect he had on me

“i just thought i s-saw a bug! everything’s f-fine!” i shot out quickly, trying to make myself sound more believable

“alright…” the employee walked away and let out a sigh, embarrassed at myself

“you’re…oh god” i struggled to finish my sentence

“such an asshole!” i joked at chris, causing him to laugh against my neck

“hm…considering what just happened i think im gonna need to shut you up.” chris spoke in a low tone as he took his two fingers and shoved them in my mouth

he was making me feel so good, and i felt myself getting close. his tip brushed my g-spot with every thrust, making my eyes roll to the back of my head

i knew i wasn’t gonna last long, between him pounding into me, his thumb rubbing against my clit with one hand, and his fingers in my mouth using the other as his pink swollen lips kissed my neck. i was a goner.

i was still letting out groans and whimpers, apparently too loud for his liking, since he removed his fingers from my mouth and wrapped his hand around my neck

he squeezed slightly which caused me to whimper, “you into that to? what a slut.”

his words hit me like a train, i was trying not to cum and it took every ounce of strength i had in my body not to.

i dont think chris knew that being degraded was one of biggest kinks.

“only for you.” i looked up at him with low eyes and a smile “shit don’t…don’t do that” he whined as his thrusts got sloppier by the second

an idea popped up in my head, “why, does it make you feel good knowing you’re in control, hm baby? is that what it is?”

he clamped his eyes shut and clenched his jaw as he whimpered nonstop

hm. praise kink.

“you make me feel so good chris” i teased him in a seductive tone

he whimpered out a small “fuck” and i felt his cock twitch inside of me meaning he was close

“you gonna let me cum in this little pussy? hm?” he questioned as he thrusted harder and his grip on my neck tightened, but not enough to hurt me

i moaned in response and shook my head as i clenched around him, “hugging my cock so well” he spoke as he leaned down to kiss me

he slipped his tongue in my mouth and i returned the gesture, moaning into the kiss as i did so

“shit chris! i’m-“ i was cut off by my release as my cum coated his cock

soon after i felt chris shoot a warm load into me, fucking me through my high as my legs shook

he pulled out as both of our juices oozed out of my pussy, i laid there trying to catch my breath

“you okay? you did so good ma” he smiled at me and help me sit up, handing me my clothes and placing a kiss to my forehead

i nodded and smiled in response as i dressed myself, chris sitting next to me and doing the same

“sooo…you’re not going to prom, right?” he questioned as he put on his clothes

i shook my head, “no, i don’t have a date and i’m sure as fuck not third wheeling my bestfriend” i laughed and he giggled before leaning against the wall and smiling at me

“what?” i laughed staring at him and returning the same smile

“do you…wanna go with me? i- if not that’s totally fine i was just-“ he stuttered out of nervousness before i cut him off with a simple yes.

“chris! its fine. i would love to go with you…but why?”

“why what?” he furrowed his brows, his expression confused

“why would you wanna go with me, out of all girls?” i questioned him

“cause i like you” he shrugged his shoulders before speaking again “always have. i was just scared that you wouldn’t like me back cause everyone has this…view of me. that im a player or something cause im popular”

“chris…” i felt myself getting emotional at his words, i didn’t know he felt that way.

“i’ve had feelings for you since freshman year. i didn’t think i was your type” chris looked down at the floor before i continued

“and…if you liked me then, why were you a dick to me all the time?” i laughed

“cause i was jealous. lia you might not know it, but there are so many guys who would go for you. like…that day at the halloween party? the one at school?”

“mhm” i shook my head, signaling i remembered what he was talking about

“dude…i thought you looked so good. but i wasn’t the only one. dudes in the hallways were always talking about how they’d fuck you so good if they had the chance and shit like that. and it just made me mad. but i know its not your fault, so im sorry for that”

chris looked like he wanted to laugh after his confession, i wondered what was so funny

“chris what are you laughing at” i giggled at the sight of him smiling

“promise you wont laugh?” he looked up at me, his cheeks flushed pink

“depends…”. i furrowed my brows and tilted my head, anticipation flowing through my body

“and…” he covered his face in his hands so he was muffled, but i still understood what he was saying

“when you were wearing that crop top and shorts it made me insanely embarrassingly hard and i jerked off in the bathroom after class” he spoke very quickly

“chris!! are you serious? the school bathrooms?” i laughed slightly, covering my mouth

“yeah. i was down bad…but now i know i can have you all to myself, anytime i want” he kissed my neck and put his hand on my thigh

i giggled at his sudden affection, “yes you can, but not right now, my friend is on her way!” i kissed him

“pleaseeee ma, really quick?” he dragged the word, peppering soft kisses to my neck and rubbing my thigh

“no chris, just wait for tonight. and my legs hurt” i laughed and he sighed, playfully rolling his eyes

“now…which one? or should i try on the other one cause y’know..you didn’t see it” i questioned him holding up the two dresses

“lia what just led to this whole thing…” he narrowed his eyes and smirked at me “i like that one.”

he pointed to the long silk forest green dress with sparkles all over it, “hm. me to” i smiled when we heard a knock at the door

“um…hold on” i opened the door and poked my head out to see aaliyah standing there with a huge smile on her face

“lia…who’s in there with you?” he smirked at me and raised an eyebrow

“would you believe me if i told you?” i whispered to her from behind the door

“depends.” he squinted her eyes

“chris!!” i whisper shouted at her, trying to contain my volume

her jaw dropped “YOURE LYING!”

i shook my head “nope!! and…he’s taking me to prom” i smiled at the thought

“oh my god so you are going!?”

“yeah!! oh and we fucked…” i paused for a moment

“really big” i whispered to her as she was still trying to take all this in

“holy fucking shit…how did this all happen again?” her eyes wide and eyebrows raised

“long story” i smiled at her “i’ll be right out” i told her and shut the door

“hey sooo…lia…could i like maybe, be your boyfriend?” chris asked me nervously, scratching the back of his neck

“yes, you can chris” i smiled and kissed him, his hands wrapping around my waist

“oh and also…” he dug into his pocket and pulled out a wallet, handing money to me

i looked at him confused, “it’s for your dress baby. take it” he placed the wad of cash in my hand, it was easily $400

“no chris i ca-“ i was cut off by him smashing his lips into mine, his hand caressing my cheek “this is nothing ma, just take the money.”

i smiled at him before he spoke again “by the way, you look so good in your dress. it’s a shame you won’t be in it for long” he shrugged and laughed

“chris!!” i laughed and hit his shoulder, making our way out of the dressing room.

a/n: sorry this took litr forever , but comment to be on my tag list + posting masterslist soon !! ( i think )

@mattssluttygf

[inkykodo]

STRESS RELIEF

Warning: Sub!bottom reader!, Dom!top Miguel, Rough play, Breeding kink miguel!, Voyeurism, use of pet names (Good boy etc.), office sex, oral sex, gagging and unprotected sex

This Smut is intended for amab readers, fem aligned readers dni

(This is my first smut fic i ever wrote so im sorry if its a bit rough or amateur i thought i just might try doing this 😭, i also added a bit of fluff in the end lol)

After A hard day of chasing miles morales he eventually escaped with the help of his friends. now he has to find Miles all over again and not to mention the anomaly "The Spot" thats constantly being a pain in the ass to even get a finger on. disappointed Miguel went back to the spidey HQ to asses the situation with layla; its late at night and everyone already went home so he has to pull an all nighter for this one. as he was about to enter his dark and quiet office when he noticed a cubicle being lit up by a computer; he went over to check at the cubicle.

"hey! who's there? (y/n)? why are you still here? you should be home." Miguel asks with frustration and disappointment. you were his assistant but he doesn't want you to work late hours just like him. he worries that you'll be exhausted.

"oh sorry sir. i was just doing paperwork and theres quite a few..." you say let out an awkward laugh as you rub the back of your neck. Miguel puts his hand on his hips as he squeezes the bridge of his nose with the other one; "just get it done... and will you get me a coffee while you're at it? if you dont mind." he said with a deep and exhausted voice. "uh yes sir, ill get you a coffee as soon as possible!" you say immediately as you get up and go to the coffee shop just across the street. Miguel sighs as he turns his back and entering his office again.

you grabbed your coat and prepared to exit the building into the cold and windy night. there were rarely any cars around as you walk across the street; the silent buzzing of the lamp above you as you walk, the damp sound of your boots thumping the ground, your hot breath as you exhale around the cold air; it was all so calming to be just by yourself and not worrying about any reports or documents to get done. ring you enter the coffee shop and greet the barista "hey! (y/n)! nice to see you" Joe plasters a wide grin on his face as he waves at you. "hey Joe can i get the usual?" you chuckle as you approach the enthusiastic barkeep. it puzzles you how someone could be this energetic especially when its late at night. "one latte and café americano coming right up" Joe smiles as he gets to work and you sit down by the window silently observing the place you work at. The towering building reminds you of so much; the first time you went there for your job application, the people you met and hanged out with. ever since you started working here it's been great; you were able to hold down a job and live a comfortable life. ding Joe rang a bell and you snap out of your melancholic trance. "Here's your order (y/n)" you get up from your seat and hand him the payment "Thanks Joe I'll see you around" you chuckle as you wave goodbye and head back to your boss who's waiting for his coffee.

You reach the 20th floor and exit the elevator; you make your wake to his office. "ugh... (y/n)" you hear muffled moans when you approach the door when you hear his deep growls your body immediately tenses up. "you're so cute..." You peep through a slight crevice through the door. you see him then and there stroking his throbbing cock as he calls out your name. "im close... (y/n)" you gasp as you back away and clear your throat. "Sir? your coffee is here" you knock on the door. "Oh- uhh come in!" coffee in hand, you enter his poorly lit office. he always preferred it that way although, you always wondered why. "Here is your coffee sir a caffé americano just as you like it" your body tenses up more as you know he's hard down there and its because of you; as you place it down Miguel suddenly grabs your wrist his talons flexing and protruding "i heard you peeping at me through that hole (y/n)" as Miguel pulls you close to him your body freezes on the spot "do you want a better view cariño?" he leans in and you can see his tip dripping wet with precum.

"Please... Miguel..." you try to avoid his gaze but he grabs your chin and tilts your head downward as he forces you to look at him "Please what cariño?" Miguel lets out a deep and menacing laugh "Be clear with your words boy." Miguel says sternly as he grips one of your thighs with his hands. his sharp talons poking your thigh but not enough to draw blood. "Please... continue..." Miguel's lips curled into a grin "That's more like it. good boy" Miguel begins to move his calloused hands; as it travels up your body he lets his fingers slide through your smooth and soft skin. "your skin im feels like a soft cloud mi vida.." Miguel says as he leans in your neck leaving behind a couple kisses here and there. Miguel continues tracing the shape of your body and he lands on where he started. He pinches and twisted your nipples it tingled and burned against his touch. this turned you into a moaning and whimpering mess. "Miguel... that feels so good..." you bite your lip and you begin to move your hips rubbing against his huge boner. the shape of his girth and the way he was playing with your chest like stress balls drowned you in pure ecstasy. "Getting impatient now are we cariño?" Miguel stops what he's doing and he grabs your waist "Such small and slutty waist i wonder how they'll feel when i use them" He grabs your ass and spreads them "oh and im sure these will feel good too" Miguel looks you dead in the eye letting you know what he's about to do next

"im sorry sir i didn't mean to-" Miguel cuts you off mid sentence as he lifts you up and he places you on his lap. you can feel his boner pressing against your rear as he stares you down ready to absolutely swallow you whole. "shhh callate ahora... we can keep this a secret cariño" Miguel leans in close to your ear as he nibbles on your earlobe; his fangs slightly poking your ear. "you're so adorable cariño all tense like that... i could eat you up right here..." Miguel's hands creep under your clothes as he traces your back. his warm hands making you involuntarily whimper as you arch your back; Miguel smirks as he heard you let out a quiet whimper "Que lindo (How cute)" Miguel removes his hands as he violently rips your buttoned down long sleeve polo. this makes you gasp and "that was my favorite shirt..." Miguel chuckles "Well, you look better without it" Miguel looks up at you as his smug expression seems to be clearly enjoying your reaction. "What do we have here?" Miguel's eyes fell to your chest, letting his calloused hands travel to your waist and closer to your thighs. But something glimmering caught his attention. "Oh?" A low chuckle would rumble as he traced his fingers around your nipple piercing, "What do we have here?" he flicks your pierced nipples. "where have you been hiding this huh? such a naughty naughty boy" Miguel continues to flick and twist your pierced nipple as he takes the other one in his mouth. "ahh... Miguel..." Miguel smiles deviously as he takes your swollen nipple in his mouth. "Hold still cariño" Miguel growls as he plays with the metal object that's attached to your nipple using his tongue. you start to moan and whimper as he plays around with your swollen and sensitive chest; "Miguel... too good..." your chest rises and falls as every sensation shoots pleasure up your brain and makes your whole body start to shake. Miguel stops abruptly as he smirks and leans in your ear "Yeah? Beg for it then."

as he was about to tear your clothes to shreds you two were interrupted by a facetime call. he picks you up and sets you down under his desk and his bulge throbbing right in front of you. the shape of his dick under his Spider-Man suit was impressive. his hard cock pressing against the tight fabric as he sat down properly; it was irresistible. your eyes were fixed at his cock glaring back at you as if its taunting you to suck it. you hear miguel talk with one of the Spider-Man that he worked with earlier you decided to have your turn with him. you slowly unzip his Spidey suit his cock immediately springs out and it even slaps your face. Miguel's eyes widened as he looked down at you; his eyes fueled with surprise and rage "Uh miguel? Are you listening?" Miguel Clears his throat and looks back up "Uh yes, you were saying?" Miguel continues his conversation with the nice lady hes on the phone with. You slowly licked Miguel's tip; the w way his precum drips down your tongue like a busted faucet makes you want to lick it up more. you start licking the base of his shaft and then his glans. "So it seems that the spot wa-" Miguel abruptly stops with a groan as you lick up his leaking tip. "Miguel? you good?" Miguel snarls at you knowing he cant do anything yet "yeah im fine, im kind of busy right now ill call you later" Miguel bids farewell to the nice person as he ends the call. you dont even notice their conversation as youre too busy licking up and lapping his dripping dick. Miguel growls at you "You really want my dick that badly huh? you cant wait to slobber all over it? have at it then" Miguel grabs a handful of your hair as he lines up his dick to your mouth and pushes; He pushes it in deep all the way to the base of his huge cock. "how do you like that huh? i bet youre enjoying the taste of my cock now its all the way down your throat like a good slut you are"

your protests were muffled by Miguel's whole length down your throat. "MmpH!" was all you managed to say as you gripped on his thighs trying desperately to pull away. "Whats wrong (Y/n)? wasnt this what you wanted huh?" Miguel snaps at you he sounded pissed and he wants to put you in your place. Miguel then pressed down further you chin dripping with spit and drool as it sticks to Miguel's balls; he lets go just to catch your breath. "Hah... hah..." your chest falls and rises rapidly as Miguel's precum dripped down his shaft. "We're not done yet cariño" Miguel laughs sadistically as he grabs you by your arms and pins both your hands on his desk "since you clearly want it so bad, ill give it to you good" miguel rips apart your pants his rough hands traces your waist. he moves down lower as he reaches your ass and he feels around. "oh this will be good" his laugh gets deeper and colder as he bends over; his hot throbbing dick pressed against your lower back. "You'll regret playing me (Y/n)" his talons flex as he opens your ass wide open. rip the sound of fabric tearing as he finally rips apart the last remaining clothing you had on. "your puckering hole is just waiting to get fucked" Miguel slaps his drool coated dick on your rear he whispers to you "im gonna make you cry and beg for more"

/Time skip/

Miguel stops abruptly as he opens a drawer and takes out lube you stare at it as he squeezes some on his hand "wait- why do you have lube in your office?" you pant as you ask Miguel "Its better to be ready and not need it or need it and not be ready" Miguel says panting as he rubs some of the lube on his dripping dick. an idea flashes through your mind as you push him down his office chair. "its my turn to take the wheel" you say as you get on his lap and line his dick on your hole. you slowly lower yourself down halfway and you stop. His impressive size was appalling; it already felts so good half-way in you. savoring the sensation you try to prepare yourself for his girth. Miguel seems annoyed as you suddenly stop moving. he grabs your slutty waist and rams you down his fat cock. you let out a lewd moan as it crushes your prostate. you gasp as you try to collect your thoughts from the sudden sensation burning your mind. Miguel pants and squeezes your ass as he begins to thrust on your fat piece of cake. he growls and squeezes down not letting you go anywhere but deeper down on his cock. he watches you bounce up and down while you make noises of pleasure making him smile proudly. "yeah.. thats right be a good boy and take my cock like a slut." Miguel pushes you down deeper as his cock directly presses on your g spot. "Miguel... please..." you beg miguel as he stops and just keeps his cock in you. its throbbing and twitching like crazy. "Not yet Cariño... i wanna see you ride me." Miguel Sneers as you squeeze down on him. As you start riding in your own pace Miguel leans back and puts his hands on the back of his head enjoying the view before him. the more you ride his cock them more it seems to grow inside of you. As you moved yourself up and won on him you began to drool. the wet slicking of his dick on your ass felt so good; everytime it hits your prostate you were sure too see a glimpse of heaven. "You look so good in this position Cariño" Miguel reaches down and feels your hips and thighs as you ride him. saddling up to make yourself feel secure as he guides along your waist as he watches you ride.

After hours of nonstop fucking, (y/n) could only focus on the pleasure he was receiving. His mind could only focus on the man who gave him ecstasy. His voice was starting to hurt from shouting Miguel's name. "Too..ah..much" (y/n) whimpers begging for release. "Hush cariño... im almost there..." Miguel's rough voice drowned out y/n's moans. (y/n) practically lost count of how many times he came. "I can't..." (y/n) moans out.. "yes you can, baby.." Miguel's thrusts were getting rougher and faster. the wet slapping of skin crashing against each other echoes through the office. "do it for me cariño... Just one more" That was a lie. Miguel didn't plan on stopping not until the sun was rising. After one final deep thrust he finally released his final load "Agh...! Cariño im cumming!" Miguel buckles his hip as he grabs your ass and pushes it deep inside you as he came. "Miguel- youre filling me up!" (y/n) yells in surprise as miguel shoots his load deep within (y/n)'s gut. "Fuck im gonna give you my babies" Miguel keeps on going; shooting his load deeper into you it felt like a bump was appearing on your tummy as he does so. Miguel snuggles his lips on your neck as he finally lets his cock slip out of your gaping hole. your shaking legs finally give out as his seed slowly drips onto hour thigh "That was alot..." (y/n) says breathlessly. "Apologies, cariño... i got carried away." Miguel's voice seems to be at ease; somewhat satisfied i guess he had some stress relief. miguel picks you up and cleans after you. he takes you to his apartment since he ripped apart your clothes and gave you some of his clothes. "Thank you Miguel..." You thank him as you grab his clothes. as you put it on his clothes seem too big for you; the sleeves of his shirt droops below your elbow which exposes your neck and his baggy pants that looks like a pajama. "(y/n) you look so cute...) Miguel stares you down with admiration as he grabs you by the waist and outs you down in bed. "Can we cuddle? i feel tired after what we did at your office" (y/n) says sheepishly as he grabs Miguel's arms around his waist and presses against him. "Sure Thing cariño" Miguel kisses you around the nape of your neck as both of you drift to sleep.

[nishik1]

bittersweet \\ Nishimura Riki

synopsis: being in a relationship with Nishimura Riki was never easy, but you still made it work.

pairing: idol niki x non idol fem!reader

genre: light angst to fluff

warnings: reader is a bit mean, slight arguing, cursing,?

a/n: a short fic to make up for the lack of updates in “you jealous, nishimura” 😭 this kinda sucks so please don’t be disappointed

wc: roughly 1.4k (NOT PROOF READ)

you awoke to the sounds of knocking on your bedroom window. what the hell..? furrowing your brows as you make your way over to the window. lazily you throw open the curtains and your eyes widen for a second as you process who is waiting outside of your window.

“Riki..? what are you doing here?” you said in disbelief as you stare at the boy who stands beneath your bedroom window with his hands on his knees, hunched over as he tries to catch his breath.

“please just— let me in first—” he says breathlessly. you stare at him for a second before letting out a sigh. hesitantly, you open your window further and lean out just enough for him to grab onto your arms and pull himself up. his eyes light up when you reach to him, he immediately grabs onto your arms and comes tumbling into your room.

theres a moment of silence as you watch him sit on the floor of your bedroom, still trying to catch his breath.

“so… are you gonna tell me why you’re here or are you just gonna sit there?” you cross your arms over your chest, slight annoyance present im your tone. Riki feels his heart clench at your tone, you only ever talked to him like that when you’re angry with him.

“I came to explain myself” you let out a bitter chuckle as you narrow your eyes at him.

for context, you and Riki had a date today. In fact it was supposed to be your first date in a while since Riki’s been quite busy being an idol and all. you both had decided to go to this new restaurant which opened recently, your date was scheduled for 7:30. you had arrived on time but Riki? Riki never came at all. you had messaged him multiple times only to get no reply, hence why you were mad at him. you waited for 2 hours straight and he never showed and now he’s here in your bedroom?

“seriously, Riki? that’s all you came here to do?” he frowns at this, he could tell in your eyes that you’re annoyed and angry with him. I mean who wouldn’t be? he showed up in the middle of the night unannounced.

“I know I should’ve told you—“

“you should have just told me the moment you found out you were going to be busy!” your voice cracked slightly as you inhaled sharply before continuing

“Riki you and I barely get to spend any time together anymore and the one day we actually had plans to see each other, you flaked on me!” you said feeling more hurt than angry, the two barely got to see each other with how busy he was but today he was supposed to be free.

“I know and I’m sorry… I never wanted to flake on you but we had to do some filming today and—“

“Riki I don’t want to hear it, It’s been like this for months. we never get to see each other anymore and whenever we think we might have time you always get busy with something!”

“I know that and I’m sorry for that too but I can’t help it if my schedule changes. I’m an idol, Y/N. It’s my job and sometimes this is what idols have to do. I know I don’t have as much free time as I used to but I have to do these things, they’re important to my career!”

“what about me? am I not important?” both of your eyes widen at this and you saw hurt flash through his eyes. you didn’t mean to say it, you didn’t want to say it, it just slipped out.

“I never said that.” he grits his teeth in annoyance. though he was annoyed he was also hurt. he was hurt that you thought you didn’t matter to him, of course you matter to him, you’re his girlfriend!

“no but you implied it. Riki you never make time for me anymore!” you run your fingers through your hair, feeling frustrated with everything going on.

“god why are you like this? my whole life can’t revolve around you, this is my job Y/N!” he raises his voice slightly. you inhale sharply and you pull your gaze off of him and to the wall behind him.

“I never said it had to revolve around me. all I’m asking for is for you to just make an effort to see me.” you lower your head as you feel your tears betray you and begin well up in your eyes.

please not now. you can’t cry. not now. you think to yourself, digging your nails into your palm.

you had been feeling like this for so long, feeling as if you didn’t matter to him. at the beginning of your relationship, everything was good. you were both happy and saw each other almost everyday. well that was until the group Riki was in began to grow more and more popular. the dates which you used to have daily started to happen less and less. it went from daily, to every other day, to weekly and eventually to none at all.

it started to feel as if you were no longer relevant in his life, like you no longer mattered to him. you were angry and his words only fueled your anger more. you’ve been bottling up these feelings, trying to ignore and hide them as best as you can but its starting to become too much to bare.

“you think I don’t try? I’ve—“ thats it. this was your breaking point. his harsh words finally pushed you to your limit.

“well it doesn’t seem like you fucking try! Riki I can’t take it anymore, can’t you see how draining this is for me?” one by one hot tears began to trickle down your cheeks as you finally let out the feelings you had been keeping in for so long. his eyes immediately soften as all the anger he had towards you dissolved into guilt.

“oh Y/N… I’m so sorry.” he cups your face with his hand, gently wiping your tears as you lean into his touch. how long has he been hurting you for? how long have you felt like this? how can he make it up to you? would you even forgive him? a million questions raced through Riki’s mind as he pulled you into a tight hug, resting his chin atop your head as a few tears escaped his eyes.

“I’m sorry too… its just— i miss seeing you in person. i miss your hugs, I just miss you... i’m tired of seeing you through a screen.” his heart clenches at your words as you mumble into his chest, your breathing uneven from crying.

“I’m sorry, I’ll try to make more time for you i swear. my schedules just been so packed lately, i was supposed to be free today but they needed us to—“

“its okay, you don’t have to explain— just… just stay with me.” you bury your face in his chest, hugging him as if this was the last time you’d ever be able to. your tears betrayed you as they began to drip onto his shirt.

he badly wanted to tell explain what happened and why he was unable to attend your date today but he knew that all you needed right now, was for him to stay. to stay and make up for all of the lost time you two could’ve had together, to stay and comfort you the way he should’ve before and most of all, to stay and show you that he loves you.

“I’ll stay with you as long as you want me to.” you felt your heart sting at his words, but not in a bad way. in more of a “i love you so much but i’m still mad at you” way.

you shut your eyes tightly trying to prevent any more tears from falling. you’re not even fully sure if your tears are happy or sad ones perhaps both?

“I love you..” your voice is quiet but still loud enough to hear as you raise your head from his chest. teary eyes locking with his, Riki’s gaze softens at you as he brings his hand to your cheek caressing it gently.

“I love you too”

its the moments like these which remind you of why you fell in love with Nishimura Riki. with Riki, disagreements dissolve into peaceful silence and all you can feel is the comfort of resting in his embrace, where worries melt away and all that is left is love. it’s moments like these which make you fall in love with him all over again.

you think you’ll forever adore the moments like these, even if they’re bittersweet.

taglist: @rksbae @lizzyyaaaaaa @berry-and-kkami @chaewon-slays @solstramaii @infi0 @beomgyusonlywife @misoxhappy @ramenoil

[frogchiro]

hi me again i know its not eremites but my brain has been HAAAUUNNNNTEEED by omegaverse and COD i just know for a fact Ghost n Price share a role as "leader" of the pack, more Price than Ghost (warrior cat brain: DEPUTY GHOST *WACK*) and yes the entire pack takes care of their sweet omega but they feel the most weight of keeping her happy n healthy :<< Ughehrgrgrgrr Ghost is a silent lover, (this can really apply for annnnnyy au im just barfing my brain out here) brushing your hair out of your face as you sleep, cheek smooshed against your pillow. Oh my god you know that man would invest in silk pillow cases if you mentioned that silk is better for your skin n hair. That one stuffie you can't seem to sleep without, it never seems to get dirty, you don't think much of it. That's cause Ghost brushes it out for you, making sure theres no limp neck syndrome either (basically the fluff gets separated from body n head leaving none for neck) mention that you like a certain snack? or found a childhood snack you had but could never find after a certain point? at least 5 of them in the cupboard, 2 if they come in big packs.

John loves to spend time together with his sweet girl, he doesnt often have the time for it but when he does he loves to savour it. Loves Loves Loves being able to have you on his lap, a cigar in one hand, the other on your waist and a whiskey on the table next to his recliner. Memorizes your routine, if you have somewhere to be that you have to wake up for, he wakes you up, very gently. Kisses against your shoulder, traveling to your face. Kissing your cheek before turning you onto your back, just admires your relaxed face before he whispers your name. ASS!! GRABBER!!! grabs your ass, sure here n there he'll greet you with a gentle spank but he. grabs. ASS. He memorizes your coffee order too!! He may tease you a bit if it something like, 80% cream, 12% sugar and 8% coffee but still. sniffle snorgle so sorry for the long ask snifhghgrngr i love them. and i LOVE your blog, been following for a super long time, found you from pierro tags and just been obsessed. Take care of yourself okay?? MWAH (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

AHHHH THANK YOU FOR THE KIND WORDS DARLING *MWUAH* I'm really glad you like my humble little blog so much and stick around for such a long time <3

I'm gonna go with omegaverse with these again bc I'm obsessed :<

And yes yes you're right!! Alpha Si is a silent lover but he's so expressive when he wants to be! If you're close enough you'll see all the little things; ticks, micro expressions even with the balaclava and/or mask, the little noises like chuffs or rumbles, everything! It's like a whole new world opens up and that's when makes being mated to Ghost beautiful <3

And he can be surprisingly clingy and touchy too! Definitely not right from the start but give him time and soon you'll have a 6'3 baby clinging onto you. What he may lack in verbal communication he compensates with physical affection and little noises; he will literally purr like an engine and make little chirrups in answer to your own as you nuzzle and preen each other in your nest.

Another thing about him are his surprisingly strong nesting instincts! He never really got to make a nest, or rather felt safe enough to do it. With his past, his father who always mocked him for nesting it never felt right until he got with you. Will take up the whole bed and literally roll in it so it's covered with his scent and pheromones and let out a pleased rumble when he finally deems his den good enough and safe before dumping you in it <3

Alpha!Price on the other hand loves quality time spent with you <3 He's much more verbal with you than Si and is quite touch himself in the privacy of his office or den, will always try and keep a hand on you and never let you out of his sight. He's the oldest of the alphas, much more mature and secure in his position as head alpha but will bellow and growl like crazy if he went out for a second out of the den to check up on something and upon returning he notices that you're not there anymore only for you to return from the bathroom confused what's all the commotion about.

Would never admit it out loud but he loves loves loves scenting you! Especially if you're on base with him. John has a strong masculine smell that screams 'ALPHA' in the most pleasant way; will make you go weak in the knees just from a whiff <3

Likes to rub on you when you're laying in your nest at night, his face shoved right into your scent glands and your delighted giggles bring him immense joy as he tickles you with his beard <3

[dazzlerwriting]

call me & i’ll come

robert ‘bob’ floyd x singer!reader

Pictures are not mine, credit to pinterest!

3.5k words

summary: inspired by “Watermelon” by Jane + John Q Public. after bob joins a D&D campaign to make friends in San Diego, he gets talked into also joining the band that is formed within the group. Over time he and the lead singer slowly get closer and closer. What happens when they kiss, but don’t talk about what the kiss meant to them?

warnings: slight miscommunication! fluff fluff fluff. a bit angsty at one point. the end gets a bit heated so 18+ MDNI!!!! Reader uses she/her pronouns, but theres no other descriptors! petname “darlin” is used twice. use of y/n (i tried so hard not to lol) flashback is bold and italicized

authors note: first off, thank you @lewmagoo for posting about drummer rhett, which in turn helped inspire this story! & everyone posting their Atta Boy stuff was also a huge inspiration to this!! only my second fic and i wrote so much. i just kept going and didnt stop until it was finished! im so sorry lmao. but i hope you enjoy!! this is mostly from bob’s pov!

Bob Floyd has a secret. Well, two. The first one is that he plays in a band in his free time, specifically, he plays the drums. Anyone who may watch how Bob acts when he thinks no one is paying attention, they would see him drumming on his lap, on the desk, or on any free surface. But the Dagger Squad isn’t that astute when it comes to their fellow workers lives. Natasha knows but, there’s a certain trust to be had between a pilot & their WSO. So Bob told her, and while she was taken a bit aback that the quiet Bob Floyd played the drums in an actual band, she was supportive.

Now, the secret that not even Natasha knows, the one Bob would swear he would take to his grave, is that he has a crush on the lead singer in their band. It's not just a silly crush that would go away with time; no, this crush has stuck since he first met her at a community D&D meetup.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Flashback

He saw a sign that read “New Dungeons and Dragons campaign, starting Wednesday! All leveled players welcomed!” on the board at the grocery store a week after being stationed in San Diego. He decided he needed a creative outlet after work and maybe to make friends that weren’t pilots. So he went, and that’s when he saw her. She was their Game Master and she was wearing a renaissance faire-esque outfit. From that first sighting, he was a goner. He would look at her theatrical storytelling during their sessions with a fondness that rivaled the way Orpheus looked at Euridyce. Quickly he would look away before she caught him, but if he had kept looking, he would have noticed her looking at him the same way.

Somewhere along the way, another member of the party, named Blake, noticed Bob drumming on his thigh when the game would die down for a bit. They suggested Bob joined their band, seeing as they were in desperate need of a new drummer, the last one leaving to hit it big time. He went on a whole spill about everything having to do with the band and Bob was apprehensive at first, performing was way out of his comfort zone. He wasn’t like Rooster, he didn’t think he had the proper stage presence to perform for a crowd, and he didn’t want to make a fool of himself.

But that’s when she walked over to the two, a smirk on her face as she looked at Blake and said “Blake… go easy on Bobby boy here. I’m sure he doesn’t need a whole infomercial on why he should join us.” She turned to Bob and put her hand on his arm, and for a second he was sure his brain short-circuited. Now with a soft smile on her face, she gently said “Bob we would love for you to join us, only if you’re comfortable. I know you could be called away at a second’s notice, but regardless it would be an honor to have you as our drummer.” He sat there for a second just taking her in, from the casual way she was dressed, to her kind demeanor. He realized at that moment he was royally fucked because he would do anything she asked. He looked her in the eyes and responded “I-I’ll do it,” stuttering a bit but getting through it. Her smile widened, her eyes lit up with what Bob thought could be adoration, and she jumped up a bit clapping, “Great! We rehearse every Saturday, usually, gigs are small just hangouts for friends or family! I’ll text you all the details.” He missed the warmth from her hand as soon as it was gone but her reaction was worth it. That night while Bob was getting ready to sleep, his phone lit up with a text.

Y/N: Thank you for agreeing to this Bob, it truly means a lot. I’m glad you decided to come to our session that first night :)

And after replying, he fell asleep with a grin on his face, not regretting his decision one bit.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Now after a few months, Bob and the rest of the members have gotten close. They hang out outside of rehearsal and game sessions, and they’ve even been to Bob’s apartment for dinner. That’s when he told Natasha that he was in a band, and introduced them to her. They had a great night and Bob felt like he had found his group of people. The thought of leaving them for a mission, where the outcome was unknown, was scary, but the idea of having them all there to come back to, outweighed the formidable thoughts. Especially when he thought about the kind, charming, and beautiful singer who made it her mission to text Bob every day to ensure he was having a good day. Over the few months they had learned a lot about each other, she made sure to ask him the same questions he would ask her. Including dreams, they had as kids, favorite movies, biggest music inspirations, etc. He opened up to her about the constant teasing from the Dagger Squad, including the “Baby on Board” joke. And he learned she was the biggest nerd outside of D&D, texting him updates on the latest comic she had read, the newest Doctor Who update, and random fun facts about his favorite movies. With every text he received, Bob fell deeper and deeper into Cupid’s chokehold.

It all kinda got turned upside down when he and Phoenix suffered from a Bird Strike during training, and they had to eject. Early morning, after leaving the hospital and getting home, he texted the band group chat to let them know he would be missing both D&D and band practice. He was bombarded with questions regarding his well-being, and texts lending out sympathy to him. But y/n had been quiet, that is until he heard a knock on his door. When he opened it, he saw her standing there with several bags full of groceries and a shy smile on her face. “Hi,” she said softly “I’m sorry for the intrusion but I just wanted to make sure your recovery was a stress-free time, and well, I just, I’m sorry I can drop all this off and go if you want me to. I should’ve texted beforehand and I..” she was rambling now and he thought he couldn’t find her any more endearing than he did right now. He adjusted his glasses and stepped out of the doorway, “N-no come on in, you are welcome here at any time, you know that.” At that, her shoulders dropped a bit in relief and he could see her let out a breath he doubted she knew she was holding in. He led her to the kitchen and watched her get to work doing whatever she was here to do.

“Okay so I have the stuff to make baked potato soup, Alfredo, and I also brought peanuts, chips, Gatorade, and a bunch of other snacks for you.” She quickly got everything out of the bags, putting things in the right place, and Bob was hit with a daydream of this being a normal occurrence. A domestic life with her, both of them dancing around each other in the kitchen, making dinner while dancing to songs like “I’ll Be Seeing You” by Billie Holiday. He was so caught up with his daydream, he didn’t even realize she was talking to him. “I’m sorry what did you say?” He asked with a bashful smile. She shook her head with a gentle laugh, and said “I was just saying you should go get comfortable, I’ll be in here for a while.” He looked at her and gave a soft nod, immediately going to lie down on the couch and continue his daydreaming. For a while, he could hear her gentle hums coming from the kitchen, and he let that lull him into a peaceful sleep where he dreamed of a future where they were together.

A few hours later he was woken up by someone gently shaking his shoulder. He rubbed his eyes, put his glasses on, and when he looked to see who it was, he swore he was still dreaming. She looked almost angelic standing above him with a caring smile and a bowl of something in her hands. “Sorry to wake you, it just hit 4, so I thought you might be hungry,” she gave a soft shrug and looked a bit nervous to see what his reaction might be. He took the bowl from her hands and gave a soft thank you with a smile he hoped was kind, and not some kind of grimace from still being a bit tired. He realized it was baked potato soup and he had to admit it was the best soup he had ever had, “This is amazing, thank you so much.” She gave another shrug and replied “It’s the least I can do, need our best sorcerer and drummer to get better soon! I put the rest in the fridge along with the Alfredo. The snacks are still on your island, but I should get out of your hair now. If you need anything please know I am a call away.” He really didn’t want her to leave just yet so he did something that even shocked him, “Do you want to stay, I’m sure you’re hungry as well and we could watch a movie or something?” Her eyes widened and a bright smile appeared on her face, “I would love to if you really don’t mind.” Of course, he didn’t mind, was she crazy?? If he could he would spend all of his time with her. “I don’t, please you’ve done so much for me today so please stay.” He didn’t mean to sound so needy, but it didn’t seem to deter her. In fact, her smile got brighter and she nodded her head.

They decided on watching Wall-E, it seemed like a good idea at the moment, but now they are both sniffling on the couch. “God who knew a cute robot could turn two adults into an emotional mess?” she said while turning to him, wiping the tears from under her eyes. He looked at her and she was gorgeous he thought. They sat looking in each other’s eyes for a moment and in a flash, their lips were on each other. He doesn’t know who leaned in first, all he knew was her lips were soft and he could feel her breath from her nose. As soon as it started, it was over and he chased her lips when she pulled away. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I’m so- I’m gonna go. Thank you Bob.” she rushed out, quickly grabbed her stuff, and practically ran from his apartment. He sat there dumbfounded, had he messed it up so quickly? Did she not like him in the same way he did her? He didn’t know, he kept wondering what happened while putting things away, and he fell asleep asking himself what happened.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

A few weeks have passed, and things have gone semi-back to normal. There’s an awkward tension between them every session, every band practice, and the texts from her have stopped outside of letting him know of any changes to the schedule. Natasha could tell something was going on with her backseater, but he wouldn’t budge. He just told her it was nothing and that he was fine. But anyone with any common sense could see he wasn’t fine, he was distracted at work, he didn’t have the band members over for dinner, and he just seemed lost in thoughts every time someone talked to him at Hard Deck. But Natasha wasn’t having it, so she contacted Y/N, she told her Bob was acting strange. Y/N let her know what happened, and that she felt as if the kiss had only happened because Bob was emotional. She also let it slip to Nat that she had been harboring a crush on Bob since they first met, and despite trying to ignore it, it continued to grow. Nat told her the band should perform at the Hard Deck that weekend, and Y/N agreed only if Bob was okay with it. She texted Bob and he decided it was time to overcome the fear of the Dagger Squad knowing he was in a band. If he couldn’t overcome the fear of telling her how he felt, and how the kiss made him feel, then he could at least do this. And so it was set, the group would be performing at the Hard Deck, and Bob let that distract him from whatever else he was feeling at the time.

Saturday finally came, and Bob was a ball of nerves. He was sure the squad wouldn’t be too harsh towards him, but when it came to Hangman, he could never tell. When he arrived at the bar to do sound checks, he saw her again and a bit of his nerves calmed. She looked at him with a gentle but nervous smile “Hey Bob, glad you made it. We’re just gonna run through a few songs, and then we’ll get going with the show. I also brought a new song, it’s not too much but it will be the last song for the night.” He nodded his head, a bit lost in her eyes. He pushed his glasses up a bit and got his drums set up. After sound check, people started filling in the bar. Nat came up to him with a bit of a smirk, “I know about your kiss with Miss Gorgeous Singer up there.” She then lightly punched his arm, “Why wouldn’t you tell me, Bob? This is important information and I thought we were best friends.” She had a faux pout on her lips now and he shrugged, “I don’t know what happened Nat, it was going so well and then she just ran out.” He looked down, twirling his drumsticks, and she realized he was quite upset. She’s guessing the two idiots haven’t even talked about it. “I’m sorry Bob, but hey maybe things will work out after tonight,” she said with a comforting smile. It was at that moment, Jake, Javy, Bradley, and Mickey realized it was their own “Baby on Board” on the drums for tonight.

“Well well well, what do we have here?” Jake said with his usual smirk on his face. “Cut it bagman.” Natasha quickly replied, she realized it was time for the band to start so she gave Bob a final comforting smile, then quickly pushed Jake and the rest of the guys back.

You got on stage and introduced the band. The show started and everything was going well. Bob was keeping up, concentrating hard and using the quick time between songs to push his glasses up his nose. Finally it was time for the new song, and he was a bit nervous, seeing as they hadn’t rehearsed it yet. He heard you clear your throat as you said “Hey y’all, this last song is a new one I wrote about a week ago. Sometimes you just meet someone and realize you will always be there for them no matter what.” With that, you looked back to the group and nodded to let them know it was time to start.

I’m the watermelon slammed into your driveway

Crack me open so I feel the air inside me

Bob stared at her while playing and realized that in someway, she had cracked his introverted shell. She helped him become more comfortable. She even was a huge reason he had a group of people who cared about him, outside of the dagger squad. He quickly looked at Natasha in the crowd, just to see her smirking right at him.

Music boyfriend I’m your yum yum

Call me and I’ll come

Y/N’s words from weeks prior echoed in his head as she sang, “If you need anything please know I am a call away.” And it hit him in this moment that maybe just maybe, she did feel the same way about him.

Am I dreaming or did you just kiss me

You don’t know it but you already miss me

He looked back at her and realized she was looking at him. Singing this song to him. She had a bashful smile on her face, and he could tell she was a nervous.

Fuck the rest of them

Fuck em all

Fuck em all but us

In this moment, everyone else in the bar seemed to fade away. It was just them, and he made the decision to admit what he was feeling after the show. She was breathtaking, and he thinks he may not make it if he doesn’t tell her tonight. She finally turned away in time to sing the last line to the crowd.

Fuck em all but us.

When the song ended, the bar was full of applause, even the squad looked impressed by the show. Bob watched her walk off stage after saying her thank yous, and head for the back deck. He got up to follow but was immediately stopped by the Dagger Squad, they were all patting him on the back and smiling at him. “Didn’t think you had it in you Bob, but that was truly amazing. And it seems as if the singer thinks so too.” Jake said to him with a genuine smile on his face. Natasha pushed Jake out of the way and gave Bob a hug, pulling away she said “Go get her, we’ll all still be here when you get back.” With that Bob gave a quick thank you and rushed toward the back door.

He saw y/n standing there, arms crossed over the railing and head up to the sky. When she heard the door open, she turned her head and she had a sheepish smile on her face. He thought she looked so beautiful, a bit sweaty from the show, the moon as backlighting. Her beauty rivaled that of the ocean. She was gorgeous in every sense of the word.

“You did good tonight Bobby. Thank you for letting us come play here.” She said softly as he made his way over to her. He felt warmth crawl up his neck at the use of his nickname, and he put his hand on his neck as he told her “You were gorgeous tonight.” She gave a soft laugh and bashfully turned her head. Before she could respond he continued talking, “Thank you. For everything. You invited me to this band, not even knowing if I was a good drummer. You texted me daily just to make sure I was doing okay. You made me possibly the best food I’ve had in forever. Don’t tell my ma I said that, she would never let me live it down.” He chuckled while saying that, he took a deep breath in and continued, “You have changed me as a person, so thank you.” She looked back at him, eyes wide, mouth agape. She had tears lining the bottom of her eyes, as she rushed over to hug him. “I’m so sorry I ran out of your apartment that night. I was nervous you were only kissing me because of the emotions from the movie and the tiredness. But that kiss meant everything to me. I haven’t stopped thinking about it or you since it happened.” Her speech was a bit muffled from the way she was pressed to Bob. Now it was his turn to look a bit shocked, he hadn’t even thought about how she might have thought it was all her fault. He held her and said“Darlin’ I think we’ve both been a bit idiotic. I’ve wanted to kiss you ever since I met you, and after that night I thought I messed everything up. I truly like you, I think I might even be falling in love with you if I’m honest.” She pulled back a bit and looked him in the eyes for the slightest sign that he could be lying, when she couldn’t find one she put her hand on his neck and pulled his lips to hers. This kiss was different. This kiss held all of the unspoken feelings they’ve both kept bottled up for months. He grabbed her hips and pushed her back against the railing, she opened her mouth to gasp, allowing his tongue to slip inside.

She tugged at his hair and he let out a quiet groan. Just as he was making way to pick her up, the loud noise of several nosey aviators cheering burst their bubble. She pulled back and leant her forehead on his chest, shying away a bit. He turned back to see the group smiling, clapping, whooping, and hollering. He turned back towards her and lifted her face up to his, “I’m sorry about them. Also I’m sorry I feel like I’m doing this a bit backwards, but would you like to go out for dinner soon?” He felt a bit nervous asking the question but she just looked at him like he hung all the moon and stars. “Sure, how about we go talk to your friends for a bit, then go pick up some food, and maybe finish what we start at your place?” She asked with a flirty smirk on her face. Yeah she was going to be the death of him.

[junjiie]

해찬  ##  🗯️ ⠀ &THEAFTERPARTY..

IN WHICH ? ⠀ 🔌 ⠀ yn and donghyuck were friends who fooled around once or twice (or rather, far more than either of them wanted to admit) for fun, and that was that. things get a little complicated when the latter shows up back in the city and ends up catching feelings.

Ꮺ PAIRING ₁ ⠀ lee donghyuck x male!reader.

𑁤 GENRE ₂ ⠀ smau, non-idol au, (loose & not mentioned much) uni setting, written parts, fwbs to strangers to lovers, fluff, humour, and a little angst (??).

위험! — WARNINGS ₃ ⠀ swearing, kys jokes, implied sex & sexual references, suggestive jokes, sunwoo of tbz as yn’s fc!!!

⭔ FEATURING ₄ ⠀ mark, renjun, & jeno of nct, jake and heeseung of enha, jiung and keeho of p1h, and more various cameos!!

҂ TAGLIST ₅ ⠀ closed 🙋‍♂️

JJ ₊ ⠀ this has been in my brain for SO long i have been prisoner to so many Haechan Thoughts 💭 its genuinely criminal. bias wrecker like no other ☹️ anw i cant decide for the life of me what i want the vibes to be like so if theres a whiplash inducing tone-shift between every chapter then i can only say sorry in advance. ppl on the perm taglist even if u dont stan nct i hope you will enjoy this mess!! LOVE U ALL (but i love karma a little bit more.. THIS IS ALL 4 U BSF EVER MUAHHH. ok gn im going to bed..)

profiles (･o･;) ⠀ 💣  ⠀ moneysexual wyd warriors

prelude. new york to seoul (written.)

one. chains of capitalism

two. thing-not-thing

three. knock knock

four. delaying the inevitable (written.)

five. slime (no glue) (no borax)

six. with quickness and haste

seven. chismosavirus

eight. took you long enough (written.)

nine. disappointed and ashamed

ten. girls night out

eleven. see you then

twelve. chocolate chips (written.)

thirteen. make yours match

fourteen. up to no good

fifteen. kun’s at 2

sixteen. coffee cake (written.)

seventeen. does he know?

eighteen. you won

nineteen. get in here

twenty. live-in-able (written.)

twenty one. or whatever

twenty two. hypocrisy

twenty three. freebies

twenty four. just a little (written.)

twenty five. as usual

twenty six. exile

twenty seven. -10 performance points

twenty eight. déjà vu (written.)

twenty nine. witch!!!

thirty. 🤦‍♂️ (end!)

taglist ## @wave2love @mins-fins @kimgyuuu @wtfhyuck (perm) &&& @deafeningtyrantmilkshake @kosmicbomb @222brainrot @haohyo @dinonuguaegi

[ninikrumbs]

Sweets or my sweet?

Bucky x Reader

Summary: You were baking cupcakes but Bucky has other ideas with the batter.

Warnings: Bucky barnes (he is a warning), Fluff, slight nsfw, implied smut. 18+

Comment if I should write a part 2 😏 (iykyk) Also this in unedited so im sorry for the mistakes.

"Okay, this looks right!" I beamed, as I finally turned off the mixer. The smell of chocolate wafted throught the air after our baking session.

Spontaneously deciding to bake chocolate cupcakes were suprisingly a good idea.

Strong arms wrapped around my waist, one warm and one cold. While a strong chin rested on my shoulder, his light stubble brushing my cheek; making me giggle.

"Smells good, doll." Bucky commended, his deep, husky voice tickled my ear earning a light shiver from me.

I grabbed the spatula and leaned it towards his mouth. "Here, have a taste."

"Won't t that make me sick?"

I arched an eyebrow before saying, "I thought super soldiers dont get sick?"

"Touché."

He leaned in towards the spatula and took a small lick of the the batter. His throat bobbed as he swallwed it. "Wow, that is good."

His compliment made me grin in delight."I know right!"

I was about to start putting them into cupcake holders, before I noticed a small fleck of chocolate batter on the lower left side of Bucky's lips. Cometpalting to leave it there for others to see, but deciding againts it since he was such a good sous pastry chef today.

Turning in his arms to face him, "Buck, theres a bit of chocolate on you lips." I said, touching to my own lips, trying to show him where it was.

"Really, where?" I thought he was gonna use his hands to remove it, but he suddenly just started darting out his toungue in a silly effort to remove it.

"Is it gone?"

"No.." I said, covering my mouth with my hand, stifling a laugh.

He looked so ridiculous, his tongue has licked every side other than the place that actually has the stain. You'd think he was doing it on purpose. "Okay, stop stoop! I got it."

His lips formed into an adorable pout before leaning his face closer to me, warm breath hitting my face. I quickly glanced at him to see that he was watching me like a hawk. And it made such a simple mundane thing feel more intimate which made me purse my lips as my cheeks felt a bit warm.

Since the chocolate was already a little dry, I licked my thumb before gently swiping on his lower lip, effortlessly removing the chocolate. "There! that was-"

Before I could wipe my thumb somewhere, Bucky held my thumb in place with his metal hand as he sucked on it. I could feel his tongue going over my skin and it felt like my entire body was on fire. I inhaled a sharp breath, not sure whether to pull hand away or let him lick some other places that were currently callimg out his name.

He let out a satisfied groan, the sound echoing through my body. "If tasted good before, now its a fucking 5 star michelin restaurant."

His mouth lets go of my thumb with a pop as his steel blue eyes gazed at me with such a predatory gleam, it should make me feel terrified, instead it makes me rub my thighs together. Already feeling the wetness pool between them.

Strongs hands carresed up and down my waist to the curve of my hips, til it gave my ass a light squeeze that made me squeal.

He continued carresing my ass before he dipped his 2 fingers, one from each hand into my covered core, making me clutch on tightly to his biceps.

"I see my favorite meal is already ready for me." He whispered huskily into my ear.

"Bucky.. not here." I whimpered

A smug smile formed om Buckys face at my reaction. He grabbed the bowl of cupcake batter behind me and pulled me by the hand as he says, "Now lets go eat dessert with my favorite meal."

PART 2??

[vxmpyree]

HELLO first if all I LOVE UR WRITING ... UR NIKTO FICS MAKE ME WANNA SCREAM INTO A PILLOW (/very pos)

ive never requested anything ever so im shy n gonna use anon teehee. ANYWAYS ik you said you write for pretty much anyone but i'm still gonna ask: do you write for keegan? if you do..... could i ask for a sick fic?🙏🙏 or any type of fluff rlly. with a male reader :3 (theres barely any for him 💔) THANK YOU FOR UR SERVICE IN THIS FANDOM BTW RAHHHH🫡🫡🫡💖💖‼️‼️‼️‼️

ofc!! i dont know much about cod ghosts so sorry for any errors. thisll be my first plot fic :)) ♡ not beta read,,

[im the devil - clams casino] [0.7k wc]

when keegan returns from deployment, he finds you ill, and not just with a bit of a sniffle and cough. no, he can hear how your lungs shudder with every breath and feel how your skin is hot to the touch.

being his husband isn’t an easy job. he’s always out for one reason or another. you’ll be at home watching a film together, only for his boss to call and say that they need his help. he’s too much of a workaholic and empath to say no, i’m busy. keegan is always worrying about you, always thinking about the slight pout of your lips when he comes out of his bedroom in uniform again. 

so, seeing you like this doesn’t do any good for his anxiety. 

“you’re burning up,” he mutters, pulling a thermometer out of your mouth. 

the curtains are drawn, letting in only traces of sunlight tinted by the lavender linen. more light would only give you a headache. 

he pulls off his gloves before reaching out to touch you, not wanting to touch you with the same cloth that clutches his rifle. his rough palms move to cup your cheeks, swollen from fever and sweat. you can hardly even keep your eyes open.

“did you eat today?”

he grumbles as you shake your head. you must’ve been too sick to get out of bed, only able to helplessly roll over and try to sleep through hunger pangs. at times like this, he wishes he hadn’t chosen an occupation of aiming sniper rifles and long months of waiting in bushes or on tall buildings. then, he’d be able to take care of you. 

“do you want to eat? we’ve got… hm… soup and crackers. or bread,” he presses.

you shake your head again. you don’t want to eat!

keegan sinks into the edge of the bed and furrows his brow, considering you. he has the air conditioner unit on for your feverish top half, and keeps the sheets over your shivering legs. he’s taken your temperature and wiped you down. he gave you some tylenol, which should’ve gone with a cold glass of water, but you gulped it down before he came back with something to drink.

something is missing. there’s more that he could do for you, but he just can’t put his finger on it. 

when he lifts his head to check on you, keegan finds that you’re already staring at him. he has to stifle a smile. you are what makes him feel at home-- your accepting stares, and the slight curl of your lips. it would’ve been impossible not to wish for something more when you’re so welcoming, so warm. 

you motion with one hand for him to come closer. for a moment, he wants to say no, that his face is still covered in grease and he’s clad in heavy armor. but what’s the use in saying no to a face like yours? before he can even start stripping himself of his gear first, he’s already slipping into the sheets.

there’s the low hum of the air conditioner unit and the occasional car rolling down your quiet street. everything seems so small when he’s here with you, tucked away from the world. all he can think of is the smell of your shampoo and the slow rise and fall of your chest.

"...did you just miss me?” he whispers.

you only smile and watch him silently, looking at the bump in his nose and cheeks starting to droop with age. he’s getting older and so are you. it feels like you two only just settled down. the years have slipped through his fingers like sand. maybe it’s time for him to retire. then, he could spend all the time with you in the world.

keegan leans closer to you, and wonders if he smells like gunpowder and sweat. but he waves his worries away in favor of gathering you in his arms. his palm rubs slow circles into your back, wrinkling your old t-shirt. 

you cough into his chest and furrow your fingers into the back of his heavy jacket. your hands claw helplessly like it’ll ameliorate the itch at the back of your throat or your heavy cough. if he could, he’d do away with this sick spell. he can do things most men can’t, from scaling towering buildings to gutting men, but he can’t fix his poor husband’s fever and runny nose.

he pats your back until you settle down, becoming jelly in his arms. 

will he be sick tomorrow? definitely, but he wouldn’t mind spending a day hidden away with his husband, even if the two of you can only lie in bed and kiss each other’s warm faces.

[funlovinzara]

Yuji Itadori x Black! Fem! reader

Warnings: None/fluff

Intro: Your a new Jujutsu sorcerer, Gojo introduces you to everyone and you settle in with ease, someone in particular takes a special liking to you.

“Do you think you’re fit for this y/n?” Gojo asks you. You’ve always wanted to join Jujutsu high for the longest amount of time now, but there are so many risks. You could potentially end your own life. You wouldn’t say you’re different, because you weren’t. But people in these parts of japan would stare and it made you uncomfortable. It’s almost as if Gojo-Sensei was just like them. You had a feeling settling in would be difficult.

“Yeah, i think I’ll be okay! Im planning to train before my first mission, im hoping to do my best at least.” You responded to Gojo, him giving a grin back signaling that it was time. “Well i think it’s time to go don’t you think? I see alot of potential in you.” You had to take the test. This test was to show how strong you really were, this was the test you needed to enter jujutsu high once and for all.

You and Gojo strolled to the entrance of the large high school, it was way more beautiful than expected, the light of the blue sky shining through the tall trees hitting your face making your tan/brown/dark brown skin glisten. Gojo notices you enjoying yourself and smiled, he knew you would be an interesting ally to everyone. You look at Gojo who was looking at you, before you could speak a scream echoed through the environment.

“GOJO-SENSEI HELP ME!!-“ Gojo quickly turned to a boy with pink hair running across the campus being chased by a girl with a light brown bob. “Well would you look at that! Theres our first years for ya!” Gojo turned back to you to see you awkwardly standing, slightly concerned for the boy with pink hair. “Trust me, there stronger than they look.” Gojo pointed, “The boy with pink hair? Thats Yuji Itadori, the bob is Nobara Kugisaki, and the freak standing silently watching is Megumi Fushiguro.” Megumi must have heard because he glanced over glaring at Gojo, then looking at you.

Yuji began to run over to Gojo and you, panting out of breath. Nobara bonked him on the head when he slowed down and stopped. “Hey…Gojo whos that?” Nobara nodded her head towards you. “This is our new student, Y/n L/n. We were supposed to be headed to Masamichi so she can take the test.” Megumi walked over to state,

“Why call her a student if she hasn’t even passed the test yet?”

Gojo smiled once more and said calmly, “i know she’ll pass.” Megumi didn’t question any further, he knew Gojo-Sensei had his reasons. His phone began to ring, he picked up and answered to who knows, “Ugh really? Now? Right, ill be there..” He hung up. “I have to do a small task for Nanami and then take care of some cursed spirits, uhh itadori! Can you take y/n to Masamichi?”

Yuji lifted his head, still panting slightly. “Y-yeah…” He seemed to tired to do anything. “Follow me..” He waved his hand signaling to go. You walked with him slowly down the halls admiring every last bit of the high-school, it was really breath taking. (No pun intended)

Yuji speaks up finally catching his breath. “So…what made you want to come to Jujutsu high?” You tell him your backstory and what made you want to come here (or if you wanted to join just to help others). He nods his head understanding relating to you a bit, but he cant help but to always look at you. “Sorry to ask, has anyone ever told you you’re really pretty?” You turn to him surprised he hasn’t been the annoying type to ask to touch your hair or take a photo. “Well i think, but this is new.” You responded

“Since Gojo-sensei said he think you’ll pass, do you wanna hang out with me and the others when you’re done? You might be a little knocked out…the test was a struggle for me.”

He turned his head to face you even more stopping infront of a building, then continued “I don’t want you to feel left out, i mean a cutie shouldn’t!” He blushes at his own statement, not even giving you time to speak he shakes the blush off.

“Well this is Masamichi’s building!” You stood in-front of the building with and you gave him a very surprising look, “well, Yuji…id like to hangout! It would be a pain to be alone especially as a Jujutsu sorcerer.” Yuji smiled and glowed at your response and the way his name rolls off your tongue. “Ill see you later then!! I wish you luck…y/n~.” He sure does give off a-lot of playful energy, i think you’ll like him.

Towering over you is your one way ticket to Jujutsu high, you wouldn’t want to let them down so let’s give it your all!

Oh my gosh i will admit i kinda slacked with this, it is really short but trust mee i will get better bc i haven’t wrote in so long😭

I don’t like when black reader stories r super ghetto or y/n is super unrealistic so i tried making this just basic

Should i drop a part 2?🤔

[cass1dyyy]

IN DANGER

contains: angst, fluff

warnings: swearing, an argument, reader’s life is in danger, injury and injury detail, near-death experience

jj maybank x female reader

not proofread, im sorry for any mistakes!

summary: after an explosive argument with your kook father, you run out of the house, and decide to do your favourite activity, surfing. but what about hurricane agatha..?

A/N: i wanted to say this may be inaccurate because im not too sure how to write it. the end also may be inaccurate with jj’s health, but it’s fictional so oh well!

(imagine kiara’s house as your home)

“WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?” you screech at your dad, running down the stairs and into the kitchen, just trying to create space between you. he follows you anyway.

“MY ‘PROBLEM’ IS YOU HANGING OUT WITH THOSE STUPID POGUES! THEY BRING OUT THE WORST IN YOU. ESPECIALLY THAT STUPID JJ KID. I MEAN, HIS DAD’S A CRACKHEAD, WHY WOULDNT HE BE?!” he roars, knocking plates onto the floor in anger, you wince hearing them smash.

“no. no.” you mutter, tears welling up in your eyes, as you turn away from him, opening the porch door.

“DONT YOU DARE. COME BACK. Y/N DONT THERES A HURR-“

you slam the door, not hearing the last bit, not that you cared anyway. you walked furiously down your vast, white-painted porch, and turned to the garage. you snatched your surfboard, hooking it over your shoulder as you stumbled to your dads car, unlocking it.

you hoped he wouldnt hear as you started the car, shoving the board into the back of the jeep, before hopping into the drivers seat and speeding your way down to the beach.

“why is no one here??” you mutter to yourself. it was only 3pm, and usually there’d be multiple surfers and atleast one party on one side of the beach. puzzeled, you left your sandals on the pavement, letting the warm sand sink between your toes as you stepped closer to the refreshingly cold waves. hearing a car drive past, you turn your head out of instinct. you could’ve sworn you saw sarah’s familiar looking-car. why did everything seem so dystopian at the moment? the whole town was eerily empty.

around fifteen minutes into surfing, you were laying on your board, tired out after all the surfing. you noticed the waves getting rougher, and the sun disappearing behind the clouds. you raised your head, and looked around. the waves were thrashing around, and you started desperately trying to paddle to shore, to no avail. the freezing cold water was thrown over you as you shrieked, and started shaking. the weather immediately changed, rain hammering down from the murky sky. you screamed out:

“HELP!”

but no one could hear you… no one was around.

SARAH’S POV:

i headed up the chateau’s steps, meeting jj, kie, pope, and john b on the small porch.

“hey guys.” i smiled, greeting them all and sitting down.

“hey!” kiara said, patting the seat on the bench next to her, gesturing me to sit down.

“where’s y/n?” i ask innocently, genuinely curious.

“she wasnt with you?” pope asks.

“she-she hasn’t been around all day. we thought maybe she was sleeping at yours or something. you mean you havent seen her?” john b asks, furrowing his brows as everyone’s expression turns grave.

rain starts thrashing down, lightning illuminating the sky.

“no. no! i havent seen her..” an uneasy feeling set in my stomach.

“shit. i’m gonna go find her.” jj says, with a determined look on his face that told me we couldnt change his mind.

“jj..” kie said.

“no. her dad is a total dick, we all know that. she’s constantly running over here when they argue. thats like, what, three times a week? it wont hurt to check.” he says, getting up and running down onto his motorbike, immediately getting soaked.

and then, he just sped off. oh boy.

JJ’S POV:

i knew i was going way over the speed limit, but i didnt care. i knew something bad had happened to y/n. i could feel it, and i tried to push the worry gnawing at me down. i sped down the streets and eventually pulled up at y/n’s massive house. ‘kooks.’ i thought to myself. without hesitation, i walked up to the front door, knocking rapidly, (this reminded me of “housekeeping!!” if ykyk) before ringing the doorbell.

“what do you want?” snarled mr l/n, upon seeing me.

“hi sir. i was, uh- wondering if you’d seen y/n? is she here?” i asked, holding back my urge to swear at this dickhead.

“no. she took it upon herself to run away. my cars gone, and she left the garage door open. when you find her, tell her she’s not welcome here.”

he slammed the door shut without another word, leaving me with my own thoughts. i started walking back to the street, when i noticed the garage door a little bit open. i peeked through and saw three surfboards hooked up on the wall, but i didn’t see y/n’s usual one. and then it clicked in my head. she loved surfing! she mustve gone to the beach! wait… the hurricane… i have to go, NOW.

YOUR POV:

waves splashed over you, pulling you further away from shore. a jolt threw you almost off your board, as a surge of pain flew up your body. you looked beside you and saw sharp, jaggedy rocks that your surfboard was now wedged in. turning your head to look at your left leg, you gasped. a large, deep gash was stricken right up it, while scarlett blood seeped out of the wound.

your wet hair clung to the board that was now stained with blood as you lay on it. you felt stupid for it, but you felt somewhat safe wedged between the rocks. this way, you couldnt drift further away. you looked towards the sandy shore, torrential rain disrupting your view. then, you saw lights from a car, turning toward the beach. you could’ve jumped for joy (if you could).

you saw familiar blonde tufts of hair, and could make out the worn out camo shorts he frequently wore.

“JJ!” you screamed with all your might. of course, he couldnt hear you, but he could see you.

he pulled out.. one of your surfboards? he carried it to the waves, laying down on it and surfing through the tallest waves.

“JJ NO, ITS DANGEROUS!” you screeched helplessly.

as he got closer to you, screaming comforting words, one of the largest waves you’d seen towered over him.. and smashed down. jayj had disappeared. lost from view.

“JJ! JJ?” you cried out, tears streaming down your face, and mixing with the rain hammering down onto your cheeks.

A blonde head bobbed up onto the surface, as he gave himself one final push towards you, approaching the rocks. he was coughing furiously, but only cared about reaching you.

another wave washed over you, as you held your arm out for him. he grabbed it greatfully, trying to unhook your board as you held him tightly down, so he wouldnt get swept away.

“there! lets go, get on my board!” he yelled over to you, as you crawled off yours. a furious wave suddenly crashed into you, as you screamed in pure terror and slipped.

suddenly, a pair of strong arms wrapped over you, lifting yourself onto the board. your heart skipped a beat, but you werent too sure if it was because of your near death experience or jj…

“grab the rope, and tie it around you y/n! quick!!” he shouted over the endless crash of the waves and the hammering of the rain ricocheting off of the turquoise board.

you noticed a rope tied around the end of the board, with another bit of rope dangling off of it. you wrapped it around your ankle, tightening it, even though it dug into it painfully.

you and him surfed up waves, while you closed my eyes, too afraid to look, as you held onto jj’s muscular figure. it all seemed like a blur to you.

“untie the rope!” jj advised you.

“what?!” you screamed, confused.

“NOW!”

you quickly let the rope free from your ankle, trusting jj’s worrds.

suddenly, you were flung up into the air by a strong wave, and flung onto.. land?

your eyes seemed stuck together by treacle, as you strained to open them. you coughed and coughed, freeing your lungs of the endless water contained in them. you shivered uncontrollably, your face pale and skin freezing cold. your leg was still bleeding, and it hurt to move, you winced at any sudden movement.

you suddenly crawled around, looking for the boy who had selflessly just saved your life.

“JAYJ?” you shouted, and saw a crumpled figure closer to the tide.

you immediately got up, wincing due to the excruciating pain, but pushing forward, stumbling towards his unconscious figure.

“jj!” you cried out, tears spilling uncontrollably down your cheeks. this was all my fault.. you thought to yourself, as your emotions overtook you.

“jj please wake up.” you cried out, hyperventilating as you peformed cpr, your soaked hair dangling over his face.

sirens sounded in the distance, but you were too panic-stricken to care. you used your mouth endlessly to puff air into his, as you cried and cried, tears dropping onto his pale cheeks.

“ma’m! maam please step back, we’ll take it from here. you’ll suffer from hypothermia.” a cop’s voice shouted from behind you, as a police force came slowly towards you.

you leant back from jayj. your bestfriend. the only one who seemed to understand you. you turned your head back to the cops, as a nice looking woman put a blanket onto you, asking if you could walk.

you saw sarah, john b, pope, and kiara running towards you, and stopping once they saw who you were knelt next to. sarah ran to you, hugging you as a tear slipped down her cheek. you were a frozen mess, bawling your eyes out.

medics rushed over to jj, trying to resuscitate him, as you were slowly lifted up, as a cop and sarah tried to lead you to an ambulance.

you suddenly heard coughing behind you, and kie gasping. you turned and saw a crumpled jj’s chest heaving, and you bolted back towards him, ignoring the searing pain in your leg.

“oh jj.” you said, your voice barely a whisper, as you crouched next to him, tears dropping off of your face, as his hand reached up to your cheek, wiping them away as he smiled weakly.

“i love you.” you whispered softly to him. and suddenly, he brought you into a kiss. fireworks exploded in your stomach, as you broke the kiss.

“i love you too.”

your foreheads met, as you lent against eachother, both of you smiling at one another, as he placed a soft kiss on your cheek.

A/N: im not too sure how to feel about this tbh.. i hope you enjoyed it though!! i listened to noah kahan on shuffle while i wrote this 😜

[binniebakery]

Thornless Rose (1/3)

Prince!Yeonjun x Princess!Fem!Reader, strangers (one-sided enemies??) to lovers, Fluff! ♡ Summary: marrying oranada's "evil" prince was not on your bingo card for the year but hey we thug it out (im not good at summaries) ♡ Warnings: arranged marriage, mentions of minor character death (i swear the fic is not angst, pure fluff) more warnings as the fic goes on! ♡ A/N: Okay so this idea popped into my head, and who better fits this than yeonjun!! THIS IS JUST THE INTRO/PART ONE SO PLEASE STICK W ME HERE I PROMISE MY MAN WILL BE IN THE NEXT ONE!! this is my little valentines gift for you all!! I'm going to try to upload a part everyday until valentines! enjoy!! (always looking for feedback so pls lmk if theres anything i need to fix thanks!) ♡ Read:2/3 here! ♡

To say you were enthusiastic in the slightest to meet your so called “betrothed” would be the biggest lie to be told in your kingdom’s history. Then again, when did your opinion ever matter when it came to what you wanted? As a princess, the next in line to be queen to be exact, your kingdom always came first anyway. Your parents always did what was best for you and your citizens. “Y/n, you know your father will be most displeased if you decide to pass this opportunity. You’re his only daughter you know.” Your lady-in-waiting pleaded with a nervous smile as you sat on your bed next to the large luggage beside you, filled with clothing and necessities for your week-long trip. The thoughts of uncertainty that clouded your brain quickly were pushed aside the moment she entered your bedroom. After all, the full day trip that was ahead of you gave you plenty of time to think of what was to come. “I know but why must I be paired with someone I’ve never met. I’m sorry I know you mean well but I don’t want to be constantly reminded of my duty miss Yuri.” Sighing, you stood up and rubbed your temples in an attempt to relax yourself. Since your mother’s passing the amount of stress that has piled up in your life has you wishing you could escape it all. So when your father pulled you to his quarters a month ago for the first time since her passing to tell you that you were leaving for a week to meet your new soon-to-be husband and soon-to-be-king of your kingdom, things seemed to look up as you were a hopeless romantic yourself. Sure, you’ve never met this person, but surely he couldn’t be that awful of a husband right? Wrong. The moment you were sat down and your father mentioned the words “Prince of Oranada” your world once again went spiraling. Of course, you couldn’t have one good thing! “Look, I know there’s rumors and you may have your own assumptions but know that this is for the good of our kingdom.” Your father began as you bit your tongue for the sake of hearing his argument. “Oranada has been closed off for a decade now since the war, they keep their relations private but I’ve only heard positive things-” “Father you can’t be serious! Sure they’re wealthy and I’m sure they have wonderful combat strategies passed down from generations but have you forgotten that the prince- and pardon my language- is possibly the most spoiled and narcissistic person on this damn planet?!” You stood from your seat, hands slamming on your father’s desk. Normally it was out of place for you to lash out at anyone, especially your father but this was just the cherry on top of all that had been happening to you the past year. You have heard more than your fair share of the rumors from Oranada. The king and queen were known for keeping a neutral stance in politics, the same as your kingdom. Oranada was actually a very well-respected kingdom, they had very close connections and often chose peace. That was all fine to you except the fact that when war broke out on that side of the land, a lockdown was immediately issued and the entire kingdom was closed off.  When said lockdown was placed, surrounding kingdoms were shocked to see that the entire time the king and queen had a son. Prince Yeonjun was a secret kept from the world. Apparently, the prince was only put under light to the public when the king and queen announced that their son was now a part of their kingdom’s decision-making. Immediately the day after he was found guilty of sentencing a man to the death penalty as his first rule. The news spiraled and thus Prince Yeonjun became the tyrant son of the once respected king and queen of Oranada. Oranada decided to close their borders before an official statement could be made. Since then the kingdom has been closed off, leaving the rest of the world to create buzz around it.

“Y/n! I beg your pardon?! I know very well that you know better than to lash out in such an unruly manner.” He spoke through his teeth, attempting to remain composed yet his voice was loud and stern. “Now sit down and you’re going to allow me to finish otherwise I will send you there without any previous knowledge.” As he was the king you had no choice but to sit down, at least not without an annoyed huff. “Apologies father… please continue.” You stared at the wooden floor beneath you, the red oak wood now the most interesting thing in the world to avoid your father’s intense stare. The king sighed as he continued. “As I was saying, you may have your thoughts on the situation, or on the prince, but I promise you that I won’t just let you marry anyone for any reason. Since your mother’s death.. I realize I am getting old. You’re my only child and I need you to realize that you’re old enough now to marry. I only want the best for this kingdom and I know you do too.” You looked up to see that his eyes had softened, voice now more your father’s than the king of your kingdom. “I’ve thought about this for a while, this is our only choice. I’ve actually been able to get into connection with the king and queen themselves, and they’d be absolutely delighted to have you over and introduce you both. So I will be sending you over in about a month and you will be spending the week with your fiancé.” Your eyes widened, not only had your father pulled strings to get into contact with a kingdom that was nearly impossible to get a hold of for the past ten years but the stage was set. You were now engaged and had no voice in the matter. The following month consisted of constant pleading and back and forth with you and the king. You understood it was your duty to find a proper suitor for not just you but your kingdom. Yet, it was so unlike your father to pull the rug from under you like this. Thus here you were, 10 minutes before your departure and you wanted nothing more than to just vomit rather than go on a day-long journey across the land. “Princess, please, I promise things will go fine! After all, once you return, you may have your mind changed.” Yuri said as she kneeled before you while adjusting the arrangements of your travel dress. You could laugh at her comment, you really could. “And you expect me to ignore the fact that I could be marrying a crazy man, a murderer even?” You sighed as you patted the spot next to you for Yuri to sit. Aside from your mother, Yuri had always taken care of you and now that the queen has passed she was the only motherly figure you had left. She was only a few years older but was mature and kind, she was an older sister to you. Running her fingers through your hair in an attempt to relax you, Yuri searched mentally for a proper response. There was no convincing you really, even she knew chances were slim that things would end well.

Suddenly, a knock on your bedroom door shook you from your thinking. “M’lady, are we ready for departure?” Your father’s assistant could be heard. He had been entrusted to accompany you and Yuri on your journey. “Yes! All prepared, we’ll be down in a second!” Yuri chirped as you both immediately stood to your feet. “Just look on the bright side, be positive and things will go your way, M’lady.” She smiled endearingly as you sighed in defeat. “After all, when have I ever been wrong?” You chuckled as she placed her hands on the wooden doors of your bedroom to open them for you. Was it too late to hide under the covers like you did as a child when it stormed? “Hmm, I could think of a few times.” You poked her side jokingly as she rolled her eyes. With uncertainty and fear, you tilted your chin high, and thus your journey to Oranada began.

[tonystarksproperty]

ꜱᴍᴀᴄᴋᴇᴅ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ʙʏ ᴄʜᴀᴍᴘꜱ | ʀ.ʀᴇɪɢɴꜱ & ꜱ.ʙᴀɴᴋꜱ

its 5am sigh..

my friend irl who wants to stay anon wanted me to write smut for these 2. at first i didnt see the hype but after some research, these two own my heart

lmk if this is my calling to write for wrestling

update authors note: IM SORRY IF THE READER IS SASSY, MY FRIEND DIDNT WANT THE READER TO BE BORING YKKKK SDDKJFBKFJ

poc female reader

grab a snack girlies cuz this is kinda long

warnings: 18+ content, sexual tension, fingering, teasing, you being a bad bitch, sasha & roman being annoying, but they're heels so its okay, plus theres fluff, little bit of angst, cursing, wrestling violence. threesome, face-sitting, cunnilingus, aftercare, dom/sub, flirting(?), f/f/m.

*takes place in 2020-2021*

After Survivor Series in 2019, a whole bunch of upcoming superstars debuted on the main roster, you being one of them. You developed such a name and fanbase for yourself, especially after your triple threat match at NXT Takeover. Ever since you were young, you admired wrestling and now you finally had the spotlight you deserved.

You and a few more friends from NXT got drafted to Smackdown, at first you were a bit intimidated, especially after such an epic return from Roman Reigns at Summer Slam 2020 or a crazy betrayal from Sasha Banks to Bayley. But after a year and a half on the main roster, you were finally getting used to it.

You exited Vince McMahon's office and continue to stroll backstage of the WWE Thunderdome. You had just found out that you have a match tonight. A #1 contender's match for the WWE Womens Smackdown Championship against Bianca Belair. You were scheduled to lose. It was rough, you haven't had an opportunity for a title in forever, but business is business. You strolled around the corner and accidentally bumped into someone who seem to be heading for McMahon's office. "Crap, my bad." you apologized before looking up and actually shitting in your pants.

Roman Reigns. Roman Fucking Reigns. And He looked mad pissed. "Shit." you accidentally cursed out loud, meaning to just say that in your head. "You better watch where the hell you're going or there won't be a next time for you in this place." he threatened maliciously. You scrunched your face in anger. Who did he think he was? Paul was to his side, making the most cringiest face you've ever seen. It was hard not to stifle a laugh. However, you scoffed at his threat. "You can't do anything, man. You may be Vince's favorite but that doesn't mean everyone respects you around here. Just ask Kevin Owens." You spat back with a smirk before purposely bumping into Paul then walking the hell away.

You heard Paul grunt when you made contact with him and had the most shocked face ever. "That newbie is getting too comfortable around here." Paul spoke to his tribal chief who was clearly impressed by your remark. "Wiseman." Roman spoke in such a rough tone that caused the stubby man to stand in attention. "Yes, my tribal chief." Paul stammered quickly. "Go get her." Roman said before departing to Vince's office with a small smirk tugging at the side of his plump lips.

You sped walked when you thought were out of sight. Your heart rate definitely increased as well as your blood pressure.

You just told off Roman Reigns.

You just told off ROMAN FUCKING REIGNS.

You opened the women's locker room and closed the door almost immediately. Sighing knowing you were now in a more comfortable atmosphere.

Until you weren't.

"You just always slam doors around here?!"

You sigh before turning your body fully to the woman you had issues with since you got here. Sasha Banks. Her arms were crossed as her right eyebrow rose in the most judgmental way possible. You had no idea what started your "beef", but you never entertained her, maybe that is what the problem is. You're here to wrestle and get your money and not to end her entire career. "Where are the others?" you asked, taking note of the empty locker room and ignoring her stupid comment. "Don't ignore me, bitch! I'm the legit boss—" she said while moving her hands and popping her mouth.

Here she goes again. The wonderful "I'm the legit boss, I'm the Smackdown Women's Champion..." blah blah blah bullshit. "Imma just head to culinary." you interrupted her mid-speech that caused her to open her mouth in shock. "Oh nah, nah, nah, NO! I know you did not just interrupt me. The champ?" She said while getting in your face. She has never done that before. "Oh, my fucking— Bitch, I don't give a fuck what you are!" You yelled back, quickly matching her energy.

Unfortunately, she wasn't expecting you to actually clap back, you never did. "Fuck out my face." you pushed her before swiftly opening the door to the women's locker room and making your way down to culinary. Fuck that bitch, always has something to say when no one says anything. You opened the door and smiled at the sight of your co-workers. Some greeting you with hugs and others with a simple wave. You walked over to where the food was being dished out and grabbed a couple of fruit and some of your favorite cheat-day snacks and put it on a plate.

You noticed Bianca, Kevin, Sami, Nia and Shayna were all sitting at the same table. Bianca waved you over with a gleaming smile. You walked over and snagged a seat to the right of Bianca and left of Kevin. "Girl, did you hear the news about the match tonight?" she asked while taking a bite of her salad. You put on the best smile you could. "Absolutely, girl. Proud of you, you deserve it. Get that damn title f'me, m'kay?" You said while punching her shoulder lightly. "Of course, girl. It's about time that the EST become champ!" she says gleefully. You grinned at her funny expression.

You looked at Kevin who took a drink of his water. You and him were close friends back in NXT before he moved up to the main roster. "What about you? You gonna be the one to finally shut that bitch up for good?" you say while elbowing his side a bit that caused him to chuckle. "Aye! Not too much on my cousin, girl." Nia was quick to say while you flipped her off with a giggle as she did the same.

Right when Kevin was going to say something, a certain stubby man cut him off. "Only someone worthy will "shut" the tribal chief up for good. And I fear that Mr. Owens is not the suitable candidate." Paul says out of nowhere that caused everyone to look at him stank.

He was quick to notice the atmosphere before bending down to your ear. "The Tribal Chief would like to speak with you." he whispered while you looked over at him judgmentally. "Tell him, fuck no." you whispered back while batting your eyelashes at the older man. His eyes widen in a way that almost caused you to laugh. "You're monstrous!" Paul yelled while quickly waddling away.

The group at the table laughed at the short man antics. "Yeah, I get that a lot!" You yelled at him with a giggle before rolling your eyes. "Dang, (name). What does Roman have on you?" Sami asked, genuinely concerned. You just swung your hand as if you were slapping a fly at his comment. "Man, I don't know. Nia's family is crazy." You said while smirking over to Nia who was now rolling her eyes. "Not as crazy as your ex." She remarks slyly before bursting out laughing. You did as well. Nia and you both casted on Total Divas late before you moved back down to developmental for more training.

A bunch of cameramen came in and told everyone the show was starting. You tried your best to hide your disappointment because you wanted to be happy for Bianca, but all you could see was yourself winning the contenders match and finally shutting Sasha up for good, but Bianca always did have heavy hits. You and the ladies walked to the locker room to gear up for tonight's show.

You and Bianca would be closing the show as the main event. It was actually great; it's been a while since women main evented shows on Smackdown ever since Bayley's and Sasha's feud. The main events were just the Bloodline vs Kevin Owens. Not like it really bothered you, it was a pretty good storyline. Now all decked out, you were ready to perform. You and Bianca were standing in the guerilla, waiting for your cues to go out.

You both did your signature handshake and wished each other luck as Vince went over specific rules that were targeted towards you.

Bianca was always sooo smooth and on point in the ring. You sometimes get a bit "passionate" according to Vince and get reckless, even injuring your opponent but you promised to be on your best behavior because Bianca needed to be in perfect health to fight Sasha.

"The following match is scheduled for one fall! It is the #1 contender match for the WWE Smackdown Women's Championship!"

The producers hit Bianca's music and gave her the cue to go out. She high fived you before walking smoothly out of the guerilla.

"Introducing first, From Knoxville, Tennessee: Biaaancaaa Belairrrr!"

"Bianca Belair, definitely an upcoming champion and has the title that everyone is talking about in her sights, what do you think, Corey?"

"Well, Cole. I definitely think that Bianca is one hundred and ten percent champion material, but we shouldn't count out her competition just yet. Everyone in the women's locker room has Bianca in their view as well as the championship, especially her opponent here tonight."

Looking over at the small screen that was held up in the guerilla, you see Bianca doing her signature dance while swinging her braid crazily. You giggled at her foolishness as she got into the ring.

The producers hit your music and gave your cue. Just when you about to walk out, you felt a sharp sting on your ass. You stumbled a bit then catching balance and ready to curse out the person who has no manners. You actually were shocked at the person. Sasha, grinning madly like the crazy person she was while giving you a small wave. You gave her back a scowl.

"(Name), you're on!" one of the producers said, regaining your attention. You sighed before making your way to the curtain. You turn back and looked over at a smirking Sasha. "I'll get you later." you mouthed. "We'll see." she mouthed back. You rolled your eyes before catching Roman walking into the guerilla and standing tall next to Sasha. They both were definitely burning holes through your head.

Creepy. You thought.

You walked out and did your signature entrance, trying to shake off the haters. Literally.

"And her opponent, from (hometown), (state). The Essence: (Wrestler Name)!"

"Now let's talk about the Essence, guys. (Wrestler name) has always proven to be one of the best WWE Superstars throughout her entire WWE career with her dedication and creative moves."

"I know that's right, Cole! Go whoop her (BLEEP), (Wrestler Name)!"

"Pat, get off the table!"

"Something tells me Bianca isn't going to hold back on (Wrestler Name) because they're friends."

You were given a good pop; you were sure that's how the online viewers knew you were bound to lose.

Now that you and Bianca were in the ring. It was time for the timekeeper to ring the bell. You and Bianca shook hands before backing into specific corners of the ring, waiting for the bell. The ring-announcer stepped down from the ring and towards the steps.

You and Bianca both looked confused because the bell never rung. Instead, a familiar entrance came onto the speakers and captivated the whole arena into cheers and some boos. You rolled your eyes as Sasha did her beat drop dance and strutted towards the ring.

You could just tell this was her idea that Vince approved on since absolutely no one told you or Bianca.

"I guess we have some company tonight. Making her way down the ramp towards the commentary table is the Smackdown's Women's Champion herself: Sasha Banks!"

"Smart move from the champ. Scouting out the competition, calculating the impressive moves and skills of these two ladies who can be qualified to win a title shot."

The bell rung. Bianca ran at you with full speed; you were dazed by Sasha strutting to the commentary table that your got slammed into the turnbuckle. You held your head, collecting your vision as Bianca hoisted you up, preparing for a vertical suplex. You jumped off and hit her with a knee jab.

"Sasha, welcome! Any thoughts on these two ladies who are competing for a title shot at your championship?"

"You know, Cole. These two don't scare me. Whether it's Bianca or (Wrestler Name), no one can beat the legit boss."

"I got to ask, Sasha. You posted a tweet out, targeting (Wrestler Name) on Twitter, and I quote "Don't be mad that you're not the one." Can you elaborate on that?"

"Now, I'm not sure if you heard, Cole, but (Wrestler Name) been coming for the boss ever since her debut. I don't even know what I did but no matter what I always finish it."

You had Bianca in the head lock as you both leaned towards the ropes that was the closest to the commentary table, you overheard what she said, getting pissed and distracted quickly. Bianca took the opportunity and pushed you to the ropes across and slammed into you and went for the pin that you quickly kicked out of.

You see Bianca slam onto the mat in anger while you were still stunned. You were letting yourself get distracted by Sasha that you totally forgot about the match. Even if you were destined to lose, you definitely should've been on your game. You quickly stood back to your feet and hit Bianca with a back to back clotheslines, leaping to the rope and performing a perfect neck breaker.

"Look at the Essence showing some dominance in this matchup!"

You looked over at Sasha and walked over to the ropes near commentary and pointed at her title. "Your title is mine!" you screamed while setting up for your finisher. Little did you know, Sasha got up from commentary and grabbed your ankle from the apron, slamming you down face first onto the mat. It happened so fast; you couldn't even protect your face for the impact.

Fuck. That actually fucking hurt. You thought

"Looks like the Boss already knows who she wants to face."

You quickly got up and exchanged a screaming session with Sasha that you didn't see Bianca pull you into a roll up.

"Shoulders down! 1, 2, 3!"

"Looks like we know whose going after the title for sure."

"I call hacks! The essence was ready to end this matchup!"

You sat back in the middle of the mat as Bianca's music played throughout the arena. You furiously pulled yourself together before staring blankly at the champion who was smirking proudly. You needed to get the hell out of there before you really sock a bitch.

You rolled out of the ring and walked up the ramp to the guerilla to allow a quick segment between Sasha and Bianca to emerge.

You pulled the curtain to be greeted by Vince McMahon who looked very apologetic. "Why didn't you say something?! I could've atleast prepared myself." you asked while putting both hands on your hips to prevent you from hitting your boss. "Sasha thought it could add more to the storyline and it was a last-minute decision. But you killed it out there, kid! Keep it up!" he said while patting your shoulder then going back behind the one of the production screens. You rolled your eyes annoyingly before walking towards the women's locker room.

Of fucking course it was Sasha, convincing Vince it was a "storyline" that girl actually hated your guts. She never let you forget it. As you walked the halls, a handful of your coworkers congratulated you on an impressive match. Naomi says the storyline was very convincing, well if only she known. By the time you made it to the entrance of the locker room, Heyman was there with a sadistic smile. You approached him unfortunately. "Excuse me." you said somewhat politely, wanting to grab your things so you could leave for the night.

However, Paul just stood there, almost like a robot. "Paul, move. I need to grab my shit." you said again, clearly pissed off at the match you just had. He jumped slightly at your change of attitude before nodding his head no. "The tribal chief would like to see you, now." Paul spoke while adjusting his collar. You crossed your arms. "Oh, my fucking—fine! If gets you to stop fucking following me everywhere, shit!" you said while stomping towards the other side of the hall.

Since Roman was one of Vince's favorites and 'the' champ, he got his own exclusive locker room in the ThunderDome. Everyone knew where it was, since it was the biggest damn room in the dome. You stood in front of the door as Paul opened it, letting you in and quickly closing it. There he was. Sitting man-spread on one of the leather chairs staring up at the screen. On the screen displayed a replay about the terrible match you just had.

You cleared your throat. But he didn't acknowledge you. "Listen man, if you're going to give me the silent treatment, I can just take my ass out of here." you spat, clearly fed up with everyone and their antics today. His gaze traced over to you, and it sent chills down your spine. His piercing-like gaze was so intimidating to you, especially with those beautiful chocolate eyes. "Don't get mad at me because you loss your match." he said bluntly while staring back at the screen.

You rolled your eyes and turned towards the door until it opened, revealing Sasha. "Now what, bro?!" you screeched, you've had enough of her today. "You're so mad at a match you knew you weren't going to win. Unlike me, I always win." Sasha said while running her eyes down your body. It almost made you gag. "Alright, laugh it up for now. We both know that title is gonna be mine sooner than later." you countered, you were now the one smirking.

She scowled before trailing her eyes down your ring attire. "You stepped your ring game up, I see. Wasn't sure you could've pulled anything off since you're always hiding all the time." she smirked while tracing her fingernails over your left breast top that composed of your wrestler name. "You 'callin me sexy, champ?" you smirked, hoping to out-cringe her, but to your shock she just closed the distance and stepped closer, her face just centimeters away from yours. "And other things." she whispered while playing with your jawline.

You were actually getting flustered. How did this chick have such an effect on you? You backed up a bit. "Okay, girly. It's all fun and games until you start something you can't finish." You backed up a bit more, only for your back to run into a broad wall. "Oh, I definitely can't," Sasha admitted before smirking over at you seductively. You turn your head back to look up over at the Head of the Table himself. "But I can." Roman said, in a low, monotone voice that definitely made your thighs press together instinctively.

You turn your full body around to face him. Trying to gather words and comprehend what the fuck was going on? These two had to be joking, it must be national fuck around with (name) day or something. "Oh..." was all that you could murmur from your lips. This caused Sasha to giggle abruptly while Roman smirked at your sudden confusion. "That's all you have to say? 'Oh.' Maybe 'Yes, champs.' Come on, girly. Speak now or we could just pretend this never happened." Sasha said almost shamelessly while dragging you to one of the couches while massaging your sore joints.

Fuck, she was making you choose.

Your lip quivered as your struggled to get words out. You were forced to leaned back against the leather couch as Sasha soon began kissing your neck roughly. "Fuucck..." you moaned out lowly, as her lips worked magic against you. "Shit, that was actually hot." she whispered against your skin while her lips lightly grazed over yours. You were so focused on Sasha, you didn't notice Roman kneeling down before you, his colossal yet calloused hands gripping your knees, forcing you to present yourself.

His eyes pierce your soul as you gripped the leather beneath you. Struggling to find self-control in this situation. "Answer her." he commanded while taking a bite of your right inner thigh that caused you to tense up. "Uhm..yes..." you answered but your voice was barley a whisper from the embarrassment. "Yes who?" Sasha murmured against your earlobe before harshly sucking your sweet spot.

You lips closed again; it was so degrading. To submit to them. But your mind wondered intrudingly of the wonders of what the night would be like if you did submit to them. It took another bite on your other inner thigh by Roman to get you back to your senses. "Time is ticking. Look at him, you're making him wait." Sasha began yet again, moving your foot to Roman's apparent boner, pushing pressure down on it. Fuck, he's big, but those pants really needed to come off. He grunted a bit and glared at Sasha in slight annoyance.

You wondered if they ever hooked up.

You moved your head and averted your gaze away from them, this was actually embarrassing for you but so normal for them. "Yes, champs." you muttered before hiding your face on the cold leather of the couch. "Man...all that buildup is so dramatic." Sasha says while rolling her eyes while Roman unties your ring boots. You were now the one glaring at her. She smirked before grasping the back of your head, entrancing her fingers within your scalp and pulled you into a very long yet rough kiss. By the time Roman was done with your ring boots, he took off your socks while planting loving kisses down your calves to the brink of your ankles, soon to your polished toenails.

You shivered from his contact as you continued to fight Sasha for dominance, but she had already gotten the upper hand. She finally took her mouth off of yours before smirking with traces of your saliva on the side of her mouth. "Looks like I win." she states while wiping her mouth. "Everything is a competition with you...." you muttered while turning your attention to Roman who was surprisingly being gentle with you. You reached down to touch his beautiful locks, but his eyes shifted from your smooth legs up to you. You hesitated but something about his eyes gave you a look of assurance as you massaged his head.

You looked over at Sasha who just continuously stared. "I don't get it." you started as Roman began planting kisses on your other calve. "You two are assholes to me. What changed your minds?" you asked while removing your hand from Roman and returned to your lap. Sasha shrugged. "I don't know. Just to get your attention." she answered while pressing a kiss to your knuckle. "You can get my attention by being nice and not a dick, you know." you answered while taking your hand back with a rough demeanor. This caused Roman to laugh. "Where's the fun in that?" he asked while standing to his feet, towering over you and Sasha.

Sasha stood up right next to him with crossed arms. "What are yall 'thinkin...?" you asked hesitantly, almost intimidated by the glint in their eyes. They both exchanged glances before turning their attention back at you. Sasha pulled you to feet and soon switched your positions, so she was sitting. "Just give this a chance. Let the champs take care of you tonight." she implied while giving another smack to your ass that caused you to jump. "Stop doing that!" you barked as you turned to her. "She's right. Just for tonight." Roman repeated in your ear that sent chills down your spine.

Good chills.

You sighed while nodding slowly. Roman gently set you down in the middle of Sasha's legs as she spread on the material in front of you. "I usually do foreplay but tonight can be special." Sasha began as Roman began to remove your ring gear. "I doubt you even know what foreplay is, champ." you snickered before looking over at Roman. You were actually amazed on the gentleness the 'Tribal Chief: Head of the Table' was showing for you. When you became bare to them, Sasha couldn't help but lick her dry lips. "Put her on top of me, Roman. I know you're dying over there." Sasha says as Roman quickly set you on top of Sasha. "Shit, am I crushing you?" you asked, scared of hurting her. "Girl, I'm perfectly fine. I'd die happily behind this body." she says while gripping your jaw to face her and soon taking your lips back into hers as her hands explored your now naked body.

You noticed Roman itched closer, dangerously close to the valley of your legs that was covered with various love bites from him. He looked up at you in some sort of assurance that it was okay. You gave him a small nod since Sasha hadn't let go of your jaw. Your legs found themselves on his shoulders as Roman literally almost dragged you off of Sasha and let his tongue lick a stripe against your clit. You took Sasha out of your mouth as a loud moan slipped out. Roman gripped your hips and dragged you closer to his mouth as his tongue began ravishing you. "Fuck, Roman. Slow the fuck down!" you stammered in between moans, clearly not used to such intrusion. "I'm surprised he's not being more savage. Guess that means he likes you a lot." Sasha said her hands cupped your breast and began playing with your nipples.

You leaned your head back against Sasha's shoulder as she smirked over at your overwhelmed state. "Fuckk..." you moaned again, curling your toes as Roman's tongue felt soo damn good. Sasha hands soon went lower down your body and soon began rubbing your clit as Roman continued to eat you out. "Mpfhhhh..." you moaned while placing a fist over your mouth to hold your moans in. Nobody needed to know you guys were doing this. "You like this, huh? Letting the champs take care of you?" she teased, making you glare at her with a very annoyed side stare.

Your other hand instantly went over to Roman's head, in attempt to push him away as you approached your high. "If you don't...stop..." you merely spoke as you continuously let your champs have complete control of your body and its pleasure. "Looks like she's boutta blow, Rome." Sasha said she continued to swirl her fingers over your now overstimulated clit. After one long lick, Roman removed his mouth with a one sexy ass grin on his features. Right when were about to cum. "You guys...are no fun." you spoke breathlessly, almost pissed of not getting a long-awaited orgasm.

Sasha giggled before taking her fingers on a stripe across your pussy and bringing it her mouth. "Did you really think you were gonna cum without your champs?" she asked slyly while placing you off of her and began removing her clothes. You rolled her eyes at her comment before yet again turning your attention to Roman who went over to his bag and grabbed one singular condom.

You finally connected the dots. "You freaks planned this?!" you screeched while soon erupting in laughter. These horny 'champs' really needed a plan to seduce you? And did it by being assholes? "Laugh it up." Roman says while letting a small smile tug his lips. Sasha just rolled her eyes in embarrassment. You let Roman bring you to your knees in front of Sasha who was smirking like a jerk. "Heyyy." she teased while you were embracing her naked body.

How can someone be sexy as hell and annoying as hell? You thought

You heard a belt buckle behind you, now Roman was stripping. This caused both you and Sasha to be mesmerized by the beauty of this god-like Samoan. You just want to bite his muscles. "Jesus, your family genes are insane to me." she comments, taking in his built and muscular body. He just shrugged it off the best way he could, in reality, he was flushed that you both were attractive him.

He popped open the condom and put it on. "Ready for me, baby girl?" he asked spreading your legs wider. You inhaled sharply. You could feel him poking your thigh and fuck he feels huger than before. "I'm glad it's you and not me." she says while staring at his length in slight shock. "I'm going to be gentle." he says as he narrows his eyes at Sasha's bluntness. "No." you said that caused them both to look at you in shock. "I want it. I want you both to go nuts." you said bluntly. Your mind was truly clouded by built up lust. All that tension between these two definitely made you change your perspective on them. "Fuck, that was hot." she states while pulling your head down to her clit.

Roman didn't wait for you to react. He spread your folds and swiftly slammed himself into you harshly. He grunted and felt his body quivered from your tightness. "Fucckk, babygirl. You're tight as fuck.." he groans while thrusting into you as if you were the last fuck he'll ever have. You licked a stripe on her bare pussy before kissing her clit and sucked on her folds that coated with her slick. Sasha arched her back as she gripped your hair tightly. Roman's powerful thrusts literally pushed your body more against Sasha's.

You said you wanted them to be rough, not rough and fast.

He was quick to change his pace and sped up. The sound of both of your hips meeting was falling death within your ears as Sasha's toes curled from your tongue. "You're doing great, girly." she cooed, knowing it would make you speed your movements more. Everyone had a praise kink in some way. "Better than great." Roman added on that caused you to tighten your walls around his girth. This was a signal that you were ready to finally cum. "Not yet." he demands, you groaned in disappointment around Sasha's clit that's caused her to tighten her grip on your hair more. Roman noticed this and you earned a very harsh slap to your right asscheek. "Don't get bratty with me." he threatens.

You quickly fall in line. If this is how he is rough, you could imagine how he is brat taming, but that would be hot as hell. "Shit, I'm close." Sasha says while letting her moans come out her mouth shamelessly. You were actually glad your moans were silent, no one had to know you were here. Roman's brutal pace sped up too damn quickly, you swore he ripped something from within you. "Shit, cum. Cum right fucking now." he commanded. And so, you did. Sasha spasmed all her juices onto your tongue as Roman fixed your arch as he let himself spill into the condom.

You sighed before removing your mouth from Sasha's pussy. You looked drained; they really did a number on you. Roman pulled out and literally fell back on the floor and laid there for a good minute. Sasha looked back down at you a small smirk. Your face was coated with her essence and your salvia mixed together. She grabbed her shirt and wiped your face with it. "What now?" she asked, looking down at the man who was calming down from his high. He shrugged before fixing his hair. "How about a round two? At his hotel." you suggested that caused them both to look at you in shock again. "This time, I lead." you stated firmly, this caused Sasha to shake in excitement, she loved your dominant nature.

She nodded. "Sounds great to me." she agreed. You both looked over at the man who looked like he was gonna fall asleep. "Just give me five minutes." he said and soon fell into slumber. "Damn, I fucked him up." you said while looking over at a grinning Sasha. "Probably the best pussy he ever had." she said while dapping you up before pulling you up next to her as your sweaty bodies cuddled against each other.

This would be a long night.

credz to @/tonystarkproperty

[ma3mae]

No one likes syringes!

Summary : You gotta take your weekly syringe but you're afraid of needles so how can these mfs (Dazai, Kunikida, Atsushi, Aku, Chuuya) convince you to take it 🤷

Genre : bit cracky and fluff, prob lots of teasing bc u know who tf im talking about 💀

Warnings : heartattacks bc we all simp too hard for these men 🛐 maybe a bit of suggestive themes at the end

A/N : managed to inject myself for the first time (aint no drugs, need them bc HEALTH) and bro, my hands r still shaky bc fear 😭 how do ppl do this so easily 💀 also the syringe is like a pen (also for this story) but broo its still scary and i need some bsd character comforting me 😩✋✋

Dazai Osamu

Lets say yall live together and hes at work while u r home alone

cant bring yourself to do it alone bc bro syringes are scary (even if its just a pen bc NEEDLES BRO) 😩😭

So you text him and ask what hes doing and tell him if hes got time to come home asap bc we r nearly crying at this point

hes gonna be SO ANNOYING like "i was just waiting for a text from you~ dont worry, your knight in shining armor will save you"

BROO he prob knew that you gotta take them today and also knew that nothing would be going on at the agency so he couldve stayed at home but nah 😭😭 (sadistic a** fr fr)

but hes still hurrying nonetheless bc hes not that MEAN -right???-

arrives at home and finds you on the couch holding the pen with shaky hands and his heart does feel a TAD bit guilty bc fr he couldve stayed at home and u would have gotten this shit over asap

gon be all like "dw im here now, okay? Lets just get this over with and then we'll cuddle, how about that?"

homegirl is about to cry at this point bc just FREE HER from this misery

sits next down to you and takes the pen from your hands

If you do wanna try it out yourself, he'll gently guide you through it

He knows how afraid you are and teasing would just make you sob instantly bc the pressure is already too much to deal with YEAH U BETTER STFU U TEASE !! jk still love him

will try to change your mind tho by sayinf stuff like "Really? ~ i mean its brave and good of you to try it yourself but I really love helping you, you know. Want to do everything for you, darling." he knows EXACTLY what hes doing to us by saying that

Is prob gonna give us that look and whisper in our ear and shi im sorry im too down bad for this man at this point 😩

if you dont wanna do it yourself then, he'll tell you to look at him while hes pressing the pen onto your thigh or stomach

You still cant keep your eyes off of it? Sry girl, theres only one solution

He'll just click his tounge at you while having that fking smirk on his face as he says "still too distracted, I see? Well seems like theres only one way to help you"

gives you a kiss on the lips and just deepens it while looking STRAIGHT into your eyes got my knees weak for him fr

you only feel a tiny sting and as soon as a "click" is heard, he'll break the kiss and just grins at you as if he didnt trick you lol

but who are you to complain, he sees that you liked it and will def comment on that

"see, love? Wasn't so hard after all. But you still did well. Proud of you as always"

pecks you on the lips again before setting the pen onto the table and wraps his arms around your waist bc NO WAY in hell is he gonna let go after that

"i think i deserve a reward for that~" "you said you were waiting for a text so you KNEW i had to do it today, right?" ".... welp, not gonna apologize on that 🤷🤷🤷"

u can understand why kunikida has to SIGH all the time as soon as dazai opens his mouth but oh well, you're too whipped to care about at this point

wont let you go so guess you'll have to reward him 💅 no ones complaining LOL

if you tell him to help you next time before hes gone for work, he'll def do it bc he loves u but poor kunikida gotta expect him arrive at work late more often bc he wont leave home without rewards 🛐

Kunikida Doppo

You already know that he got the exact day, hour, minute and SECOND written down on when you gotta take your pen

You tell him that the day is enough and that the time doesnt matter but NOO 😤 YOU WILL take it at the exact time

If its at ungodly hours like 3am or smth, bro he'll wake you up like no mercy for his schedule 😭

If u complain to him tho then dw he will rearrange it for u bc he may love to stick to his plans but he wont ignore your needs and stuff either get urself a man who takes care of u like that 😤😤

will prefer to do it before work, so if you're not an early bird then he'll wake u up but dw you'll get a forehead kiss and bro's already fully dressed n' stuff BUT waking up to him looking at you with such a loving gaze will make u forget that its 5-6am or smth 😩

will first let you get up in peace and make u some calming tea bc he knows what will come next ✋

"Y/N, I know you don't like it but you have to take your pen today, okay?"

if we start a tanthrum then he already knows about it like bro's prepared for everything!!

"Kuni, do we really ha-" "Yes." "But you know I dont li-" "Yes and yes. I know you hate it but don't worry, I've already written everything down on how to do it and what to be aware of so its okay to feel afraid but don't worry because I'm here. Nothing will happen and I've already bought your favorite snacks so you'll feel better but dont eat too much of it when I'm gone. "

u already know he spent a night or smth just researching everything about it as soon as you told him

prob even went to a library and once came back home with multiple books in his hands, hes THAT dedicated UGH I LOVE HIM 💕

you could just sob rn bc how did the earth bless you with this man KUNIKIDA I NEED U 😭😭😭

If the pen is kept in a fridge then dw he already put that shit out for it to not be cold anymore (prob counted the minutes and seconds LOL)

he'll sit you down on the bed or couch, disinfect the place on where you'll take it (lol that sounds WRONG) and he'll give you a peck on your forehead before asking if you're alright and ready to go through with it bc no way in hell is he gonna do it while you're too shaken up for it

If you wanna try to do it alone then he'll take your hand into his as you're grabbing the pen, slowly guiding it while praising you for how brave you are for trying this and that hes proud of you IM SOBBING

will also tell you to look at him if you get more afraid by seeing it on your skin

Honestly even if you dont wanna do it yourself, he'll make sure to be there and will praise you every time you get through with it bc you KNOW he means it

Honestly makes you tear up everytime and u just wanna kiss this man fr

you thank him and tell him how glad you are to have him, he'll be smitten even more than he already is

Cup his face with your hands and kiss him bro's gonna find it really difficult to not stay at home and just be in your arms

at the end of the day, his love for you exceeds his ideals so he wouldnt mind arriving at work some minutes later if he gets to have you in his arms for a bit longer

Will arrive at work with such a good mood that hes prob gonna freak dazai out with it especially when he overlooks some dumb remarks from him the power of love YALL but who can blame him, his heart is thumping louder than dazai's rambling LOL

maybe yall will continue when hes back home, who knows 🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐

Nakajima Atsushi

when you told him about the pen for the first time, he was literally thrown off like "wait, so you have to.... stab yourself regularly with that?????"

hes just SO precious bc his heart's squeezing at you asking him if he could help u bc you just feel so comfortable and just knowing that makes him SWOON

But at the same time hes panicking bc HOW CAN HE DO THAT WITHOUT HURTING U

Ngl hes prob also afraid of needles and stuff 😭 is gonna look at u like the pic above LOL

will ask yosano or even recommend that she should do it but you're like "NO!! im sorry, tsushi but im too scared of her and i feel safe with u :(((("

you got him WHIPPED and DEDICATED bc he'll def research that shit through and through

Will ask his coworkers (prob kunikida) how to best handle the situation

has everything ready but will stumble and be kinda hastily about it at first bc hes prob even more nervous than you are 💀

either it implifies your fear more or its just so ridiculous that you're legit like "ily but im not gonna die or smth 🤨🤨🤨" you cant blame him tho 😤

hes gonna be all like "OKAY OKAY, we got this. No, I GOT this s-so no worries, okay?" bro, BREATHE. Hes just about to pass out at this point jk jk

if you decide to try it out alone, he'll be a bit saddened bc does this mean you dont want him to help you after all?? :(( was he not good enough of a choice to be of help :((( TSUSHI STFU ILY

dw just reassure him that you obviously appreciate his help and still need him to be there bc no way in hell can u do it alone without ur hubby

will tell you everything he had learned about the pen and how to use it with a bit of a tremble in his voice but he pulls through with it!!

You manage to do it and BOY get ready for a rant on how proud of you he is

will want to pamper you with kisses on ur face "tsushi, i know that look. Go ahead and do it, dont hold back" "really, y/n!!?" "😩 bro do it ok" will try to hold back with gluing himself onto you but how can he NOT

If u dont wanna do it urself then it will prob go like this:

its time for yk what and he sees the genuine fear in your eyes but dw he got you

hes prob gon be like "my s/o need me rn and i have to help them!!!" hes actually gonna remember everythinf he looked up and prob memorized for you bc hes AN ANGEL will put his forehead against yours and tell you to look at him "i wont let anything hurt you and happen to you. You're afraid and honestly im afraid too but you and i will get through this, okay?" gives you the most lovestruck smile ever before he looks down and counts to three

"breathe in, y/n. It will be okay" he ignores his slightly trembling hands and at the count of three inserts it. GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER📸📸📸

as soon as yall hear a click, he quietly counts to three before pulling it out and BROO the relief is refreshing af

"WE DID IT, Y/N!!!" Is hella giddy bc how can he not be proud of the both of you!!!! You did it!!! will honestly pull you in a hug bc hes just so happy

prob gonna realise that he just did it without asking u and will be sheepish all like "o-oh sorry, i just got too excited" "no tsushi. We should be happy about this so dont let go!!" no need to say it twice bc hes gonna wrap his arms even tighter around you and nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck ILL GIVE U A KISS TSUSHI 🛐🛐

will he feel bad for arriving at work a bit later? Maybe but a scolding from kunikida wont hold him back from holding you for a tad bit longer

He'll be a bit less nervous for the next times and it will surely decrease with each time bc practice yk but will obviously still hold you until he made sure that you're feeling okay afterwards

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

Bro's nearly flabbergasted bc why are you making such a FUSS 🤨🤨 im sry dont sue me

"Calm down, you idiot. It's only a pen. You dont even SEE the needle."

dont ask him why hes staying with you if its JUST a needle then bc bro will prob just straight up get up and leave if you point it out 💀

will prob be the first to not even suggest but just TELL you to do it yourself aku im hurting over here 😩

will prob make an effort in atleast roughly skimming through a website about it prob smth weird like wikihow LMAO

If he does see you how afraid you really are of it, hes rly trying his best to ignore the small ache its giving his heart bc he takes no pleasure in witnessing u be so afraid✋ its still JUST a pen in his eyes at the end of the day lol

will just sigh and snatch that shit from your hands bc he cant bear to see you like this any longer are we looking that pitiful, probably LOL

But he'll be surprisingly soft with his touch, nearly just ghosting you with his hands is that even a term, nvm yall know what i mean

Hes just gonna be straightforward with it bc the faster its over the better. He wont admit that he just wants to help but cant convey it bc what even are feelings 🤷

He'll tilt your chin towards him and just say "Look at me, Y/N. Stop overthinking it. You won't get hurt from this stupid thing, okay? If smth does happen, I'll just destroy the factory thats making this."

You dont know if hes joking to lighten the mood or if hes serious bc its aku

But hes prob joking

anyway hes gonna ask you like smth rly random like "What do you wanna eat later" which will confuse you but you'll answer nonetheless bc hey hes initiating a convo!!

as you start to talk and he notices you're relaxed enough for him, welp yk whats happening

Actually makes you wince a bit bc it just caught you off guard

"Ryuu, what the f-?!" "Just bear with it." ok we have been silenced 🛐

yall hear the click of relief, he counts in his mind to three and quickly pulls that shit out

you're slightly trembling from relief from finally getting it over you and bro just clicks his tounge like "You're such a fool. Cant believe something insignificant like that makes you nearly shit your pants."

you lowkey glare at him for that bc BRO needles r spooky 😭 but dw before you even open your mouth to tell him off, he'll look to the side and say "... You did good for holding that out though... but its still stupid."

just give him a peck on the cheek or smth bc this boy is prob craving some praise after having helped you like that

"Thank you, Ryuu. I couldnt have done this without you. You're the best boyfriend I could ever ask for"

Give him a tight hug, kiss and boom you got him around your finger

he'll take a second to wrap his arms around you and will just hide his face in the crook of ur neck like our other boy tsushi

"Of course, I'd help... I'll still blow up the factory for scaring you like that."

"NO!!" jk he wont if u tell him not to but hes just trying to say he doesnt like seeing u like that we know aku, dw 💕💕

if his coworkers ask why hes arriving a bit later at work, he'll just tell them to shut up and continue with their work

If you look closely you'll see his ears turn a bit pink as he keeps thinking of you and your words 💕💕😭

Nakahara Chuuya

Honestly its gonna be a mix of every reaction possible I think

Like if you tell him about the pen, hes first gonna feel a bit pressured like "O-Oh wait so you want ME to help with it??"

Like no offense hes obviously feeling pretty happy about that you are asking him for help especially for smth important as your health

But he knows hes not the most gentle person and does have his worries that he might accidentally hurt you or smth

wont ask anyone for advice bc its his love of his life can i be that pls that asked HIM so he'll do it at the end of the day!!

but if hes feeling rly unsure then he wont mind slipping a question about it when hes reporting to mori

which means being not subtle at all

"So was that all for today's report of the mission." "Yeah." "Then do you need something or why are you still standing there?" ".... *pulls out a picture of your pen* do you know how to use this?..."

you def know that chuuya's feeling so embarassed that hes asking his BOSS but its a sacrifice hes willing to pay

mori will have mercy on him and tell him what he should be careful of and summarise on how to use it

Will prob throw in a "good luck~" bc how can u not TEASE him

anyway our boy's done his research and now comes the hard part

"Okay, dont panic Y/N." "HOW CAN I NOT WHEN YOU'RE HOLDING IT LIKE YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME" "JUST DONT PANIC, FFS"

dw as soon as he sees you trembling, he'll be softer than a marshmallow

a chuuya one

"Oi, look at me. I'll make sure nothing's gonna happen to you, alright? Will just sting a bit and thats it. Will take care of you after this so you'll forget this ever happened."

HOW CAN U NOT SWOON AT HIM 😩😩

he'll even take off his gloves so you'll be more relaxed if you can feel his skin bro the gloves are giving off doctor vibes in this scenario, will make us panic more LOL

if you really cant keep your eyes off it then well....

"Damn it, love. Stop looking at it." will just press his lips onto you for a second before breaking it and inserting that shi*

"Ch-Chuuya!" "I know, i know. Dont worry, its gonna be over real soon."

And boom thr click is heard and yall are finally done

Honestly his shoulders are gonna relax instantly, boy was tensed up even more than you skskskks but who can blame him

"OMG chuuya we did it!!" "Yeah, you did it, doll." bro's gonna latch onto you again bc that kiss from earlier wasnt enough for the both of u 😩

is it riling yall up? Probably but welp you 're already either shirtless or pantless so only one clothing to pull off less work for yall

Mori's just gonna be like "I see, you managed to get through it" and chuuya just tiltd his fedora down so u cant see his face bc he REALLY wants to ignore that his boss knows whats been holding our boy up cant blame him 🤷🤷🤷

***************

Lol that was WAY too long but honestly this was so good to write 😩 now im just gonna be sad that none of them r here to do it irl but oh welp, will just read more stuff about them ✋💅

[bumblebeeig]

Caregiver venture who is trying to help their depressed s/o? (I feel like they’d be so good at this with their personality and sense of humor)

they would be awesome at it :(( they’re such a little sweetie. here we gooo!!

btw uhh im writing this like. right when ive woken up so if its kind of sloppy i apologize 😭

- gn!depressed!reader x caregiver!venture -

- TW: mentions of bed-rotting and in general just not taking care of yourself well, a bit angsty, but ends with some nice old fluff

it had been a while since you really got out of bed. the only time you ever really left your bed was to get food, and water. and even with that, your dishes and water bottles began to pile up on your nightstand. you hadn’t taken care of yourself well either, barely showering, barely brushing your teeth. you just had no motivation to do anything.

all you wanted to do was lie there in bed, and rot away from the world. you had been feeling awful for so long, but this was probably the worst it had gotten in a while. you felt useless, tired, and overall just terrible.

obviously, this drastic change in behavior had caught the attention of your partner, sloan. they had become extremely worried about you, especially cause even they weren’t able to get you out of bed much, nor get you to take care of yourself. one day, they opened the door to your bedroom slightly, checking in on you.

“baby..? you doing okay?” they said, eventually allowing themselves in and walking towards your bed.

“…i’m fine sloan, don’t worry about me, okay?” you muttered out from under the covers, wrapping them tightly around you. you didn’t want your partner to worry about you, but you just couldn’t do it. you couldn’t do anything right now. they frowned, knowing that this wasn’t okay. knowing that YOU weren’t okay.

they crawled into your bed from the other side, sitting next to you as they rubbed their hand on your back gently.

“listen, (y/n).. i’m- i’m really not good with saying anything motivating, or moving at all.. but, seeing you like this… it kills me, you know? you mean so much to me. i know how hard this is for you, and i wanna help you so bad.. but i need you to let me… please.” sloans voice broke as they finished talking, gripping onto the covers over your body. they tried to hold back any tears they had. they didn’t want you thinking you had to comfort them right now. your comfort was what was most important to them.

you lifted the covers from your form, sitting up to finally face your partner. tears had welled up in your eyes, your hair disheveled after not having cared for it in a long while. “i’m.. i’m sorry.” you whimpered out, tears falling down your cheeks as you helplessly tried to wipe them away.

sloan immediately scooped you into their lap, keeping you close and warm. “shhh, don’t say you’re sorry, please… its okay, amor, shhh..” they kissed your face gently, wiping your tears away with their thumb.

you both sat there for a while, they let you cry your heart out. something you’ve needed to do for a while now.

after what felt like forever, you lifted yourself away from sloan’s chest, wiping your eyes. they had began to look pink and puffy after all the crying you had done. sloan cupped the side of your face with their hand, gently rubbing your cheek with their thumb.

“lets get out of here for a bit, yeah..? i’ll get you washed up.” they said, as they scooped you up. sliding out of the bed, they walked through your bedroom door and into the bathroom. gently, they sat you on the rim of the sink, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. they began to rapidly kiss you on every inch of your face, making you giggle. “hehehe! slooooann, stopp!” you laughed out. “theres my happy baby! god, i missed that smile.” they smiled back at you, their adorable chipped tooth showing. a pink blush painted your face, you missed how happy they made you feel.

they walked over to the bath, kneeling down over the tub and running the warm water. they hummed as they got back up, walking back over to you and placing their hands on your sides. “are you okay with me taking your clothes off hun? or do you want to do it yourself?” they asked, making sure you were 100% comfortable and safe right now. “oh, umm… you can, if you want.” you said, looking up at them softly. they returned your soft gaze, a sweet smile on their face. “of course, love.” they replied, beginning to take your clothes off gently.

after they were done removing your clothing, they picked you up, placing you into the warm water that had filled the tub. they turned the faucet off, before beginning to get your hair nice and wet. they then applied soap, gently scrubbing your hair and scalp. the whole time they hummed softly, enjoying every moment of taking care of you like this.

you felt at ease, letting sloan take care of you. you hadn’t had this in so long, and having it after so long made you so, so happy. you melted into their touch, every bit of feeling from their hands making you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. you were so grateful to have them in your life, and they were even more grateful to have you.