#theres been more times where im like hmm imgona draw fan art or i shoould draw fan art and then sth happens where im like. ah. another one

[smileymoth]

i dont actually like being obsessed w youtubers or real people in general because they can always meet their inevitable end and then ill have to delete all of my fan art so im always like. do i draw that fan art or do i wait until they get cancelled. this has happened twice now where i draw a guy and like a few months later they either get nuked or they do sth shoddy that makes me not want to touch them ever again . so i am very anxious about any youtube person who i like now. music people too actually. i like bmth a lot atm but i also have read olis wiki page and im just like side eyeing him everytime also bc of some of the guys hes collabed with but oohhh i wanna draw him so bad hes so shape. same w the HU boys like they havent done anything but theyre gonna tour with r.onnie and im like... thats a bit off putting fellas. do you know how many of your fans are queer. is this a business venture. it bothers me but like you cant control what people do and theyre all people at the end of the day and everyone is awful anywya in one way or another. anyway uim gona go draw ethoslab in a coll-