#theres an interesting line to straddle with making amanda a disaster for this rpf dynamic where i do want it to feel. in character.

[shesmore-shoebill]

spitballing pining amangela + disaster amanda thoughts for my own perusal later:

When it comes to pining amangela unfortunately my brain is so enamoured with the concept of the rpf au Amanda who is SO down bad and is Not Making Good Decisions About It. I think the more composed/well adjusted/well reasoned Amanda is about things normally/is about other things happening the better it is for her to be a goddamn wreck about this. Like she can be deeply, wildly, hilariously in denial for a while, realize, and then handle the realization terribly. And it can be a trainwreck the whole time!

She can be HORRIFICALLY undercommunicating! She can be straight up lying! She can be lying poorly! Avoiding Angela! Avoiding people who would ask her about it! Fumbling other shit because she's trying to regain equilibrium. Doubling down in the worst ways possible: going on bad dates, avoiding conversations more after being called out, lying and then double lying, etc.

(I'm just a sucker for the trope of "character who normally has their shit together becomes a complete and total disaster about their feelings regarding a specific person".)

And like disaster Angela is fun- DUAL disaster Amangela is fun- but for me there's an extra layer of satisfaction of an Angela who also has a Lot of feelings about Amanda but is actually more at peace with/better at handling her emotions about it in comparison. Love a development to a relationship that unveils/highlights extra depths to both individuals, and I think the sort of fandom assigned roles of "responsible one/chaos gremlin" are VERY fun to flip in this scenario.

Like specifically the dynamic being "Amanda, normally competent and put together, absolutely putting her foot in her mouth during a regular convo with Angela/avoiding Angela blatantly and badly bc she JUST realized her feelings and is Not Fine About It, vs Angela who spilled her coffee in her car on the way over and is late for work, but has generally accepted she loves Amanda being very ????? about whatever weird gymnastics Amanda is doing."

(This also opens up for either angst OR comedy). (Or both!! ideally both. if i write it, it will probably be both, because i wont be able to resist.)

(Or, if the feelings are unrequited... even more opportunities open up.. ALL angst for sure, then. But more opps.....)