#theres also a discard/waste bucket that is just an old milk jug
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ALRIGHT IT IS TOMORROW I AM AWAKE AND CAFFEINATED AND AT MY COMPUTER
so. tony and nat should’ve been the closest pair of avengers come a1 (aside from clint and nat but its not like there’s really any indication that they even know eachother pre-a1 and its not like they like, actually really have any moments of connection even post-a1, really, but talking about how mcu is just so fucking lonely is a DIFFERENT TOPIC--) because like. listen. there’s FOUR YEARS in between im2 and a1
(im1 is set in 2007. im2 is 2008. a1 is 2012. do not argue with me abt this i am correct)
four years in which, like, the two of them should’ve talked at least once. because, sure, i did watch the same movie as all of you and i did also watch the end credit scene but listen. listen. i dont think thats all that’s going on. because that report? that’s what any random person would be expecting it to be, and... i don’t think fury would waste as much time and resources on someone who he thought of like that as he did. if that’s really what natasha (and therefor fury) thought of tony, then like.... so much of their interactions just do not make sense. why have natasha reveal herself? why even show up at the donut place? why throw two of his most trusted agents into dealing with tony? why get what must’ve been like, a genuinely decent ammount of shield into digging up all of howard’s old junk and researching the lithium thing for someone who was not reccomended? especially since if they just wanted an iron man, sans tony stark, rhodey at that point did have a suit. so.
in my head and in my heart the report was to stop anyone else from pushing for tony’s offical inclusion and the rejection was to keep him a seperate entity for shield. the use of the two people fury has the most faith in (nat and coulson) and the fact that he shows up personally says... a lot about the fact that fury is actually deeply invested in tony’s continued well-being. because, like, maybe fury had no idea about what was going on, or even the extent of it, but i think he was definitely smart and paranoid enough to know that something was up with shield. maybe he thought it was just the wsc, maybe he had other suspicions. maybe he even was just preparing for a future where shield collapsed naturally.
so. i think fury wanted tony separate from shield as a safety net. so even if shield fell, or something went wrong, his dream-team would still be able to do their work. because for all he was a paranoid and ruthless man, he did also believe in heros.
and like! that did work! after TWS, we see that tony does in fact catch the team, for aou! it doesn’t exactly work long-term but like. if that was fury’s intention (which i do believe it was) then like. a+ it went great.
(also like the way natasha shows up in im2. like she could not have been more clearly bait. everything about her cover SCREAMS “HELLO YES I AM A HONEYPOT I AM A CORPRATE SPY HELLO HELLO PICK ME” and it’s so funny to me. subtle as a brick to the face 10/10. also there’s no way that tony would not have realized this. you think he hasn’t been honeypotted before? absolutely he has. he knows bait when he sees it and this is such obvious bait. (also like,,,, low-key i do believe that christine did honeypot herself in im1. 100% at least half of her motivation for fucking tony WAS so she could snoop and i love her))
anyways. we’ve got four years where natasha -- who is offically on the roster -- and tony -- who is offically not involved with shield at all but unoficically is definitely gonna be involved with the team -- can like. hang out. get to know eachother. bond. in my head this happens mostly via tony just hacking shield and showing up to natasha’s missions whenever stealth stops being a requirement to bother her. fury DOES lay breadcrumbs specifically as blaring red flag like “you should go here”Â
because like! we don’t see tony doing any of the weapon-collecting/destroying stuff that was his whole entire goal in im1 but like he’s gotta be doing it, and any group that’s powerful enough to have their hands on stark weapons is prob gonna be a shield interest as well. i think that they should go to underground weapons confrences together and wreck shop. i think that if nat’s mission goes bad tony should just show up like “hey u miss me” and then fly them both out where they chill at a shitty hotel for the night and bicker and laugh abt how mad the WSC is that tony keeps breaching their security.
it’s a test run for the team disguised as... not that. disguised as either tony being a nuisance and showing up where he isn’t wanted (but where, actually, his presence is useful) or as fury not trusting tony to work on his own and sending natasha to supervise. and if they end up in shitty hotels, tired but exhilirated and bloody and a little bit grubby, waiting till nat’s pick-up comes in the morning, whatever happens there is up to them.
(also re: pepper: either that just did not happen at the end of im2, or it did but they decided nah, or pepper and tony are still a thing but everyone’s fully aware of the tonynat fwb thing, OR nat and pepper are also fuckin because why not. why should pepperony not also get to have fwb with nat as a side. i think they all deserve it. either way no cheating here because i am not for that (unless it’s an extremely messy stevetony comics fic. i can get into that. i can get into the mess when it’s stevetony.) also pepperonynat is EXTREMELY good. in all configurations.)
i also think that tony and nat should fuck post-im2 because a) listen their interactions in im2,,,,,, the fuckin scene where natasha is putting makeup on him,,,, the VENERABILITY (from BOTH of them!!!) the TENDERNESS the fact that they’re both, in a way, being honest with eachother despite all that they’re hiding,,,,, chef’s kiss truly. and also b) i do think that both of them have issues with sex and like,,,, both of them often having sex not just for the sake of it, and having their partners doing it for some sort of gain. it’s not the same! but it’s similar, and i think it would be nice for them to both sleep with someone just... for the sake of sex. because it’s with a person they like, and mostly trust, just for the sake of feeling good and making the other person feel good. i think that both of them are prob very used to sex being more a performance than an actual intimacy and i think they deserve to learn how to drop the performance w/ eachother.
(also this is largely fanon but i think we all know it in our hearts to be true: tony is the king of oral and nat deserves that so hard. also listen. i was friends with ballerinas and scarjo is... scarjo but she does NOT have the thighs for a ballet dancer. ballerinas have the thickest fucking thighs ever. they are STRONG their legs are BEEFY and i think that tony deserves to get right up inbetween there. so.)
and like! this isn’t even neccecarily... romantic, at all, unless you want it to be. tonynat romance is also very good. but like,,,, i am very into them just... being friends. trusting eachother. and also fucking eachother.
i think they should be brunch buddies. bitch abt their jobs over mohitos at 7am when they’re in the same area. natasha makes a game out of breaking into tony’s house as a skill test and tony doesn’t even pretend to be pissed off about it. they deserve to have SHENANIGIANS together i think it would be good
No no no talk about Tonynat I'm listening
ALAS I ALSO HAVE TO GO TO BED BUT TOMORROW ™
#is this coherent? lmao i dont even know#but LISTEN THERE'S FOUR YEARS THEY SHOULD WORK TOGETHER#also like. listen. they would be the most chaotic friendship.#they're traumatized weirdos with dark senses of humor who like causing chaos#also i have like.... this one fic idea in my head where like.#both of them help eachother makeup over scars and bruises and shit#and natasha has to do SO much area before galas and shit becase. dress.#and tony is just like ''if you want you could go in a suit. i have a great tailor you'd look so hot''#and she's just. id love that. but that's not what's expected of me.#and like! tony gets it!#but also hes mad abt it so its just. ''ok you go in a suit and NO one will care''#''yes they will--''#''--because I'LL be wearing a dress''#anyways they both go and everyone is >:o but they look hot as fuck so#are these emotions mostly bc the part of remortal au i am currently most fixated on is post-im2: yes#LISTEN they do not fuck because i do not wish to write fuck in remortal au#but like. post im2. natasha is one of the very very few people who knows that tony can't die.#and she knows and she /doesn't tell anyone else/#she keeps that secret for him#and so there's just a shocking level of trust between them. which like. does make them the closest pair of avengers.#also i think nat should get to homebrew poisons. she's named after a spider she should get to do poison.#in remortal au tony tests her new poisons and rates them#theres also a discard/waste bucket that is just an old milk jug#that is kept in the fridge labled TONY'S SPECIAL NAP-NAP JUICE#because it amuses me#and also because i do have like. a little bit of desire to drink the contents of the chemical waste buckets in chem lab#like a trash can drink but. chemicals.
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