#theres a lot of rage inside of me but im a chill guy

[fakehouseresident]

So I have a bunch of various memes and stuff saved on my phone that I am actively resisting sharing to a group chat.

The group in question is a LARP Discord server I'm in. The conversations seem to devolve into ""debates"" that are more like mansplaining, well actuallying, one upsmanship and shaming for things like having feelings or caring. Like, the kind of folk who like to have conversations in Competitive Mode.

Thing is, I'm still pretty new to the server so I don't have a read on the people yet, and I've been informed by the friends who brought me into it that not all of them are assholes, they just don't come across well in text. Some of them definitely are assholes tho.

The memes are mostly things like "now say something beautiful and true" and "if you shame people for their interests, I'm stealing something from your house" sorts of things.

[vigilskeep]

if i was fully in charge of any fade quest in arthur’s dai playthrough there would definitely be one where we go into the pride demon dream of this universally friendly funnyman older brother archetype inquisitor who is always forgiving and always makes the kindest choices, and mages have totally overrun the inquisition and half the soldiers are zombiefied walking corpses and arthur’s on his throne with cullen’s fur cloak around his shoulders and his family’s swearing allegiance and there are probably like tranquil templars. and the party is like... uh... is there something you want to talk about... and arthur has zero trouble snapping out of it and is like haha don’t worry about it :) demons are crazy :) and then they never talk about it again

[swedisheek]

hello stinky i would like to know who is your favourite mechanism and why, i expect a 2k word essay on my desk by friday

ah fuck ah shit they’re all so excellent i will instead list my favorite things about all of them in order of my vague memory of when they joined the crew. also i smell good how dare you. also FYI for anyone not informed about the Lore, all the shit i’m gonna reference below is a hundred percent canonical.

-jonny: has an ego three thousand times larger than his short ass, king of hubris and not understanding anything. loves his sister dearly, but draws the line at random orgies, which i respect. drags corpses onto the ship like a cat bringing home a kill and tells carmilla to fix his new friends. eyeliner and belt game slay me. (four belts? FOUR??) sad and totally made up backstory, he just lied to everyone’s face about his daddy issues and they were like “chill, let’s write a song where you play all the parts and burn down a casino.” eats people sometimes, which is a positive trait in my heart.

-nastya: my god, finally a voice of reason- ah never mind. her vibes are impeccable, my mysterious trans lesbian queen is unique and absolutely vibing <3 “fuck the ship-!” “i do :3″ is my favorite line of dialogue in anything ever. machinefucker and very proud of it, to an almost concerning degree. that one picture where she’s resting two of her fingers on her chin and cocking her hip as she looks up at the sky makes me Yell.

-toy soldier: my beloved it/its inanimate enby ts!! i love it bc it just. vibes. it has so much fun singing and playing instruments and just fucking around with its friends. who would’ve thought the war criminal with a stolen voicebox would be the most babey of this group?? SPEAKING OF ITS VOICE HOLY SHIT. TRIAL BY SONG CAUSES HEART PALPITATIONS. adorable little nutcracker with the saddest fucking backstory infinity/10

-tim: so very very done with jonny but we all know they make out in “secret”. hit that fucking high note as loki so well, my god, he put his whole pussy into that! go gayboy relive that trauma! plays out of tune guitar like a champ and has a ten minute long song dedicated to him blowing shit up, what a power move. excellent hair and long sweeping coats, extremely gender of him.

-brian: ohhh sweet boy. but also totally commits atrocities? like he wouldn’t kill an octokitten that was eating marius alive but he’d let a million people die just so he didn’t have to hurt anyone, and that’s just on mje mode- his morals are so fucked, poor man. also hung upside down inside a sun for a century and respects the hell out of trans people and brings people back to life and those are just a few of my favorite things about him. he fully committed to the steampunk look when he got mechanized and i love that so much. also has the potential to be a tumblr sexyman.

-ashes: ASHES!! ashes ashes ashes. first off what a fucking good name that’s like a murderer naming themself Dead People. they’re the hottest, it’s just a fact, sorry everyone but they are just. mmm. carries around gold bars and cigars and gasoline and nothing else which i respect so much. (though where do they put that stuff? their hat??) sings excruciatingly beautifully and snarks at all the idiots they call their friends and practices the three r’s (rage, repression, and radicalness) so i cannot not love them.

-ivy: mystery wife! her whole thing is stories and yet she doesn’t know her own that’s so fucking pog of her. what does an archivist on a spaceship even do dawg it’s not like the other guys care about the cultures they’re annihilating, i’m pretty sure she just sits in her bunk and reads. why did she need her brain replaced? why does she have such crazy memory problems? how does her new brain calculate all these percentages? we don’t know! she’s very cute and wears fishnets and has a mohawk-ponytail which i adore. play me to sleep on ur flute please miss

-raphaella: twenty points right off the bat for having wings and wearing a knit crop top. what is she going for with her look, we don’t know, but she could do horrific experiments on me and i’d thank her, so it’s working, clearly. alternatively tortures and tops the shit out of marius, i will die on this hill. also a terrifyingly good singer, those little “the void siIings” in losing track make my breathing stop and the entirety of ties that bind is so fucking amazing i. hhhh

-marius: christ i love you mr neither a baron nor a doctor. the other guys are dumb but he’s the himbo of the group just for being That Way. also most of his characters’ (who are also himbos) lines are something along the lines of what the fuck or i don’t understand so i’m gonna punch you. he’s adorable and has such bastard vibes, even his outfit is ridiculous and cute. even though lyf was a cop he deserved to get a happy ending with them ok?? i just love him and his liddol raccoon face and he deserves a slow burn criminal/detective to crew mates to lovers.

OK JEEZ THATS A LOT. ARE YOU HAPPY ALEX. IM NOT GONNA DO AURORA OR CARMILLA BC CARMILLA LEFT AND AURORA NEVER TALKS TO ANYONE BUT NASTYA SO THERES NOT MUCH INFO ON HER PERSONALITY. WOO BOY.

[kappasigmalife]

Eternal Purgatory: Chp 4 Seeing is Believing

Eternal Purgatory Chp 4: Seeing is Believing

 Robby bursts into chris’s room asking where his Naruto headband is lying about. Chris groggy in his sleep, looks robby in the eye and tell him to get the fuck off his bed before he busts his nut sack and throws him out a window. Robby looks around chris’s bedroom and throws his stuff around, only for chris to grab him by the collar and drag him out of the room knocking on pauls door. Standing naked in the doorway he smirks and asks if chris and robby have something important to say as a girl wraps her arms around him. Chris reiterates that the weaboo needs help finding his lost costume piece.

“yeah, the shonen reject lost his headband, your omnipotent and im tired as fuck.” Paul looks at chris like he should care and flicks him on the head

“there now your awake, so you deal with it, I got no class so im chilling with sarah.” Chris feels his head throb as Robby incessantly continues to bitch about his headband. Chris in his rage, throws a 50 at him and tells him to buy a new one so Chris can get some sleep. Robby gives him back the money and says that its one of a kind and cant be replaced. As chris looks around he starts contemplating why hes doing this.

“an all knowing ghost who can find anyone and anything, cant help for five minutes and decides to plow some chick before helping his friend, oh who am I kidding, I’d do the same thing.” Paul comes out from the tv and stares chris dead in the eye

“of course, now did you find the headband?” Chris looks at him with a looks of utter disgust

“yes I found it no matter how much shit you say its found and that’s why im flipping the courch over, btw found that missing dime bag of reefers.” Paul snatches the bag and smiles

“ill be sure to hand it back to him.” chris just darts a look at paul and raises his eyebrow knowing full well whats going on.

“you’re going to smoke that aren’t you?”

Paul rustles Chris’s hair and goes back into the tv with the weed. Chris cleans up the stuff he turned over to look for the headband to no avail, only to see robby wrapping it around his forehead. Twitching his eye, he goes to robby and asks him where he found it. Robby looks at him happy as can be.

“funny thing I left it in the game room, must of came off as I fought helen in mortal kombat, damn shes good as sonya blade.” Chris gets a little furious clenching his fists and taking a deep breath.

“good for you, now im going to get dressed, I have to meet with Brendan for tutoring at 11.” Robby looks at the clock noticing its 11:30 and points to it, with chris looksing and rushing out the door to the library.

“FUCK FUCK FUCK, why do I need to be late?”

Brendan looks at his watch while drinking his Starbucks and wonders where Chris is. The only thing he was told was Friday 11am at the library, but being late really screws him over. Chris arrives completely drenched in sweat and looks at Brendan.

“Ready to get the books cracked open.” Brendan looks at him as if hes completely worn out

“you look like you ran a marathon, your still in your pjs and you barely look awake.” Chris explains that Robby and Paul were not much help and that he had to find the weaboos missing headband or else he’d throw a cry fest. As the two go inside, Brendan goes to the small café inside and buys chris a coffee. Chris rolls his eyes and thinks that he would get it wrong, considering he has specific taste. After taking a sip, his eyes widen and looks at Brendan.

“this is exactly how I love my coffee, hazelnut cream and warm not hot, no one ever gets it right.” Brendan looks at chris and just says he noticed him having the same coffee for months in class and got a hint. Chris while looking nervous over a weird piece of information like that cracks the books open and helps with notetaking.

In the meantime, Helen wakes up at 12pm and asks robby where chris is. Robby getting food from the fridge drops his cookies and stares at helen. Helen puts her hands on her hips and asks if she knows what shes wearing.

“right a bra and panties, cause I need to cover up cause boys may see me, don’t be so pure, your in college you’re going to see a lot more in your life.” She picks up the cookies and takes them to her room turning on the tv blasting the volume as paul snores from his love fest. She knocks on the wall telling the panda to shut up and let her watch tv, only to hear a fuck you coming from the hall. Robby is screaming at his laptop freezing during an episode of one piece. She calls up her friend asking if anything is going on. Helens friend says there’s a concert that night and she had two extra tickets if she wanted to take someone. Looking at a pic of her and Chris flipping off reefer the first day at the house, she says she knows just the guy to take.

Chris looks at his phone seeing its 3pm he and Brendan call it a day and starts walking home, getting a text from helen that their going to a concert only to be stopped by Brendan who thaks him for the fleece the other day and that it’s a very warm one for autumn. Chris tells him hes welcome and starts turning back to walk home only to be stopped again.

“hey, so im throwing a party tonight, if you wanna come by, booze weed the works, if you wanna hang out and stuff.”

Chris looks at his phone.

“ill see what happens, the sis wants to do something but that would be fun.” Chris runs back home as Brendan goes back to his house seeing his roomamtes frolicking about chugging booze and welcoming him back. One of them makes a remark towards him insulting his weight while the others try to crack puns on his fashion.

“hey pudgy, black wont make you slimmer, why not try working out sometime.” He goes to his room and puts out a notification on the school blog a party going on at his place, crossing his fingers hoping everything works out

While helen and chris prepare to go to the show, robby wants to tag along but helen insists theres only two tickets and its reserved for her and chris.

“oh come on guys I can sneak in and be very stealthy.” Chris chuckles and tells robby how stealthy he is.

“dude, your about as stealthy as a arsonist setting fire to a napalm factory.” Helen tells robby everything will be okay and he can have fun with paul, as he passes by telling them that isn’t happening.

”party off campus going there, don’t like the people but free booze and weed, so accepting the invite, have fun at the show.” Helen and chris look at one another and head out as paul goes the opposite direction, calling out to robby.

“open invite narutard, you coming or what, leave the cloak.” Robby jumps over the railing to the porch and runs to paul while chris and helen wave them off. Chris looks at helen with a smile on his face.

“either paul sets the house on fire, or robby insults someone so bad a mob breaks out, wanna take a bet on which happens first.” Helen shakes Chris’s hand and tells him she’ll take robby for $500. At the concert the two enjoy a good dose of power metal only to be bringing up how they miss their friends mentioning pauls name, being front row the two are asked by the lead singer if they know a paul stone. Mentioning he is their roommate he invites them out back for after the concert.

Brendan throws a massive bash with almost everyone there; all the while robby is insulting the group of ghosts from japan asking if they ever truly call western cartoons, anime. While Paul gets high with two girls beside him. Brendan goes around the house finding paul high as hell asking if chris came with him.

“naw, went to aconcert, wont be back til late, killer weed dude.” Brendan laughs and says he brought it from home, only to hear knocking on the door. At the door is a girl with jet black ahir and blood red eyes standing before him.

“ALICIA, what are you doing here, family weekend is next month.” “oh I know I just wanted to see what the fuss was about with this university, you know how I’m tired of your old college.” “you cant be here, private party, you’re not allowed.” “awe whats the matter, afraid I’ll embarrass you, well step aside im hunting hearts tonight.” “oh god please don’t play matchmaker, not here, please not here.”

The girl walks about the house seeing paul and offers some weed, which paul happily smokes without question. She looks around and sees nothing but horny college kids walking about like they own society.

“what a waste of a life, this one is all kinds of directions, and Brendan is acting very suspicious, might as well enjoy myself.”

As she grabs some rum and sits next to Paul, he notices her getting tipsy and remarks she looks new and introduces herself. The two seem to laugh off a lot of the stupid shit the party goers are doing and Brendan looks facepalming hard.

At the concert, no over the two go backstage to find the lead singer offering joints. The two partake and notice the mood is dimmer and more tense. Chris remarks that its not what he expected.

“so you guys are like friends with paul, hes never mentioned you.” the lead singer goes on about they know all about paul and how hes a old friend not someone they should trust, as he hides a lot of what he knows from others for the sake of personal benefit. Not to mention how he gets what he wants whenever he feels compelled.

“you could say, hes the reason were in purgatory.” Helen and chris both drop their drinks and excuse themselves from the backstage and go outside. Helen remarks that even though paul is indeed somewhat secretive he keeps to himself, never blackmailed the group or made remarks about others unless deserved.

“helen, look, I don’t believe it either, paul is a lot of things, a sociopath, and arsonist, a spymaster, a nerd, and a massive ass, but not a killer.” Helen looks at Chris as if he has two heads and retorts hes right, but hearing how someone died and came to purgatory because of someone else is pretty big. The two decide to head home and walk past the party with chris seeing robby dancing to angel beats while pauls stoned on the couch, he sees Brendan go to the back and follows. As he comes to the back he sees Brendan walking towards a lake taking his shirt off. As he does so chris leaps out and startles him, forcing him to try and cover his chest.

“Jesus Chris, what the hell?, thought you were at a concert.” “yeah well it was a bore so we decided to head home, saw the party and thought might as well have some fun, what were you doing near the lake anyway, its autumn.” “its also like 89 out tonight, for some reason, so I figured id go for a swim.” “without a swim suit on?” “uhhhh, yes I just thought it be relaxing, but if you’re going to be a prude. Then maybe…” as he continues talking chris stripped off his clothes to his boxers and jumped into the lake yelling if hes gonna join him.

Brendan looks on as he gazes at chris’s husky body and under the light of the moon his belly hair glistens in the water. He takes his pants off joining him as the two swim, chris dunks brendans head in the water pushing him down.

“hahahahahahaha, come on lets have some fun.”

As chris wrestles Brendan he gets him in a headlock under the water while Brendan squirms out and grabs chris by the wait. In the ruckus Brendan looks under the water in chris’s eyes and immediately pulls back up getting out the water. Sitting at the shoreline wrapped in a towel, chris comes up asking what happened.

“nothing I just got cold, why not warm up I can go start a bonfire.” “I uh cant, not right now.” Brendan looks at chris wondering why he wont come out and asks if he made chris uncomfortable. Chris gets a little red in the face and tells him its nothing like the sort.

“you uh, pulled off my boxers when we wrestled.” “You mean your,…”

“naked yes, just bring me a towel.”

Brendan walks to the shore as chris covers his crotch looking away but catches a glimpse of his groin as he wraps the towel around himself drying off. Blushing he looks at chris as he thanks him for helping.

“So you manscape, that’s hygenic.” “yeah always had, keeps sweat off and everything looks a lot bigger in all honestly.” Brendan cant stop looking and remarks that chris is even cuter with his shirt off as he drys off and puts his pants and socks off and puts his shirt over his shoulder walking off to the house.

“hey chris, um I gotta say, you really fill out well, uh I mean your not thin or muscular  but you seem fit for someone your height.” chris smiles as he thanks Brendan for the compliment going back inside to see paul talking to helen. Paul has come down from his high and asked how the concert is. Helen and chris tell him what was told to them only for paul to get up and walk through the door past robby, drunk off his ass.

“whoa Paul, where’s the fire?, going to go kill someone or some shit.”

Paul tries grabbing robby by the shirt but just lets go and heads home, chris and helen drag robby back to join him. Alicia gets up and walks out as well running into Brendan.

“enjoy your nightly frolic, you’re really just like dad.” “shut it sis, I know exactly what your trying to do and its not working and no I didn’t get to frolic I ran into someone.” Alicia eye glow a purplish tint and looks into Brendan’s eyes.

“Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make me a match, Find me a find, catch me a catch, someone seems to have caught your eye.”

Brendan gets rosy cheeks telling her to shut up as the group makes it home with paul walking inside without a word to his room. Chris opens up to ask whats wrong and paul explains that hes just pissed and confused and doesn’t wanna talk to anyone. Chris puts his hand on pauls shoulder and it begins glowing icy blue. Paul suddenly gets less tense and looks at Chris.

“but that seems to be helping.”