#theres a lot of aphobia that just doesnt get displayed until they run into a certain kind of aspec person

[redysetdare]

Something real weird about how people only want to truly accept aromantic/asexual people when they're "closer" to being het (in their eyes). People are all about aroaces being sex positive, and being allowed to be in relationships, and being allowed to have sex, and that's fine! But yknow, funny that when aroace people DONT want to have sex or be in relationships of any kind, when people can't just pretend they're 'straight with extra steps' then people don't wanna accept it. Or almost wanna push them into that role. Real funny.

It's the aphobia. A lot of allo people like to say they're supportive of aspec identities but in reality there is a hard line they draw in what they view as a valid and acceptable aspec identity and it pretty obviously is the identities they can pretend aren't aro or ace at all. You can see it when they support Ace people. They'll say "Ace people can still love" with "still love" being the qualifier here. You can see it when they support Aro people. They'll say "Aro people still love their friends/family!" with "Still loving their friends and family" being the qualifier. "Ace people can still have sex" with "Still have sex" being a qualifier. "Aro people can still date or enter a QPR" with Partnership being the qualifier.

Some Allo's cant comprehend that people DON'T want these things, so when they hear about non-partnering, Loveless, or repulsed folks, they break and suddenly you can see their aphobia bright as day. It's all a facade. It helps no one. It hurts all of us, even the aros and aces they find "acceptable" because in their heads they aren't seeing these people as aro or ace.

This doesn't even touch the surface for when you get into people being aplatonic or afamilial, or other a-attractions. When you suddenly don't have the "still love" qualifier, everything falls apart. people use love as a moral standing. if you don't love then you're morally corrupt because the opposite of love is hate. people think not feeling love means you feel hate instead, ignoring the fact that is just not how things work. ignoring that the feeling of love or lack there of means nothing in terms of morals. The world isn't black and white "Love = good" and "Hate/apathy/lack of love = Bad" It's childish to think of the world like that.

so yeah, in the grand scheme of things it is funny. all we can really do is laugh while people continue to act like children because their world view is being shaken up by someone else's very existence. I hope one day they can laugh with us as they realize how silly it was to think in the way they did.