#theres a good chance ill come back and clean this up haha. but i felt like posting

[pickersonpaints]

MMMMMWAH!

[thethousandyearwitch]

The Show Must Go On! Chapter 4

- A Youtuber AU you didn’t want and didn’t need -

Hisoka Morrow, italian Makeup Youtuber, enjoys his life in the comfort and occasional drama of his profession. But nothing brings more drama into his life than the eldest son of the Zoldyck fashion magazine empire.

Meanwhile, aspiring australian Twitch Streamer Gon Freecs forms a special bond to a Speedrunner commonly going by "Kil".

Chapter 4 “Shifting Sand Land” out now!

AO3 Link

Illumi had always feared that one day he might inherit any of his mother's illnesses. It wasn't out of the question, and he considered himself lucky that no ailment had reared its head so far into his life.

"Do I look as good as how I feel, darling?"

Until now.

Suddenly it felt like years of sickness had caught up with him, spun his head around and made his stomach curl.

It was a coincidence that this sickness would appear the second he laid eyes on Hisoka, wearing the suit that was fitted just for him.

It was a coincidence that he looked like all those marble statues in museums, sculpted in the image of gods and lovers.

It was a coincidence that this sickness could be swallowed and repressed like any measly feeling he had ever encountered.

"I told you to wear a shirt, maggot."

And the symptoms disappeared.

But the disease didn't.

 ----------------------------------------------------

Gon: Killua?

It had been quite a while since Killua had responded to any of Gons messages. Well, it had been about 2 hours. But compared to their normal pace of slinging messages at each other any passing minute, this felt like an eternity to the young boy.  He wondered if he had done anything to upset his friend, though their last conversation was just usual banter about breakfast, snacks, and the new battle pass.

He fidgeted in his seat a bit more, the classwork Aunt Mito had supplied him with almost entirely forgotten. The now broken routine made his bones itch, but the attempt of any distraction just made him fear he'd miss when Killua would finally come back.

So, he waited.

He even started half-heartedly filling out the math quiz that had been taunting him from the corner of the desk, though he always glanced back at the computer screen.

Question number 27: (X-3)²-25= 0

Ping

Gon wasn't sure what to do first; Be thankful that finally Killua replied or be thankful that he found an escape from this hell called math.

Kil: Yo.

GON: Hey!!! Are you okay? :O

Kil: Yeah, whats up?

He was obviously not okay. But Gon knew that pressing the issue wouldn’t make things better, though if he pretended like everything was alright would just be an issue bottled up.

GON: Do you wanna play some Fortnite Duos maybe? We can try grinding for the new tiger costume you like :D

Kil: cant

Kil: my mom took my fucking PC away in attempt to become mother of the year

GON: :( im sorry!! But im sure she’ll give it back soon, right?

Kil: fat chance, I probably have to wait till my brother comes back from his stupid trip

Gon tilted his head in thought. This has probably been the longest Killua had ever talked about his family with him. Up to this point it had only been passing remarks about siblings whose actions and personalities melted into each other due to lack of discernible unique traits, and that his family was rich.

GON: How long is that going to be?

GON: Maybe your mom will calm down and change her mind <:(

Kil: lmao, maybe if id actually study now shed be satisfied enough

Kil: but theres no way in hell im going to give her what she wants

Kil: ESPECIALLY NOW

GON: So whatre you going to do??

Kil: idk

Kil: talk to you and think about how to set fire to this place?

 The young boy smiled, though for some reason he could feel a knot tighten in his chest.

 GON: How about only talking to me for now?

 And they talked. For a couple of hours, they talked about Gons new streaming schedule, about how he wanted to have one dedicated day in the week solely for collaborations. They talked about a new exploit for Super Mario Sunshine that could potentially scrap 10 seconds off of the current World record if executed correctly. They talked about how Leorios medical-student VLOG channel had been trending again after he made a hypocritical video about the damages of energy drinks.

Kil: he could have at least cleaned the infamous pyramid out of frame…

GON: Haha he said that in hindsight too

GON: But I think it was his boyfriend who finally made him clean it up -v-“

Kil: must be nice to have someone living with you who gives a shit

Kil: I think at this point the housekeeper hasn’t even touched the minefield that’s my brothers room in months

GON: It can’t be that bad :”D

Kil: you bet?

Kil: what do you think, how much chip dust is needed for an anime figure to come to life?

The mental image of Killuas home slowly shifted in Gons mind again. A large mansion, bedrooms as big as some apartments, with individual housekeepers for everyone. And one room dedicated to imitating a postapocalyptic anime merch shop.

And somewhere in that large mansion, is a room probably equipped with a messy bed, a (now empty) desk and gaming chair, maybe some shelves with books and games. In the middle of it a slightly blurry figure, maybe a bit shorter than Gon, pale skin and messy hair and piercing bright eyes.

He had seen pictures of Killua, a handful of selfies taken at his desk, one picture his sister (who he’d mention the least from his mysterious family) had taken of him in front of a rose bush. And no matter how dimly lit the picture would be, or out of focus, or taken from a distance; His eyes were always the first thing Gon would focus on. At first, he was convinced that he was using a filter, there’s no way someone in real life would have eyes like that.

But Killua did. Killua hid electricity behind those eyes, dangerous and yet enticing, beaming with a life energy that can barely be contained. Gon had heard poems and songs about blue eyes, though none of them ever came close to describing eyes like these. Or the feeling Gon would get from looking at them, tingling in his fingertips, making him smile and giggle and stomp his feet. Kind of like getting a victory royale.

Gon has other friends besides Killua. But none ever made him feel the same way when they talked. He craved no one’s presence as much as he craved Killuas. And something inside him felt the constant urge to tell Killua that, to tell him how much he meant to him, what’s so amazing about him, how he didn’t want this friendship to end.

But that’s just not something friends would tell each other unprompted, and it’s not something that could easily told to Killua, who danced around the word “friends” as if it were a dangerous animal. So, he didn’t say anything.

 Kil: gon?

Kil: did you fall asleep?

GON: No haha, I was just thinking about how huge your house must be!!

Kil: yeah its huge and ugly, sometimes way too loud, sometimes really fucking quiet

Kil: im sure it must be nicer in your home

GON: I mean, it is pretty nice, but its also a little lonely I think

GON: All my friends live closer to the city, so usually no one is around to just come outside and hang out :^T

Kil: if I could id fly over right now and you could show me all the gross spiders that rule your continent with 8 iron fists

GON: They aren’t gross!! Spiders are really fun once you get to know them :^D

GON: And you know, you’d always be welcome here, Aunt Mito would be thrilled to meet you ^^

And Gon meant it. Though Killua never let too much slip of his family life and surroundings, Gon could tell it was trouble, and he deeply wished he could give Killua even just a one-day break from whatever went down in that mansion.

Kil: since we are both home schooled, we wouldnt even need to wait for summer break or anything

GON: Right :^D And its not like either of us are big on studying either ^^”

Gon glanced briefly at the disregarded Math work and shuddered.

Kil: you mean it, right?

Kil: if I were to text you some time that im at an airport and im coming over, you wouldnt let me be stranded somewhere on your prison continent, right?

GON: Of course not!!!

GON: … but I’d prefer it if you give a heads up so I can clean my room :^D

Kil: thanks gon, I appreciate it

Kil: i appreciate you

Gon felt his heartrate skyrocket. Of course he’d let Killua stay, even if he rang at his door without any prior notice. Because even if it goes unsaid, Killua was his friend. Maybe even his best friend. And he’d do anything to keep him safe, or to just give him one minute that he doesn’t have to think about his family. He wanted to see those blue eyes reflect the Australian sun, free of worry and tension.

GON: I appreciate you, too

[gwisingegooli]

yikes lol... i can’t believe that just happened...

i accidentally let it slip i was going on a tinder date to brian and he got belligerently drunk... when he ain’t sober he cray.... he told me to take all my shit and leave and he doesnt want to see me anymore and to just leave

he’s fucking yelling, stomping the ground and hitting his chest and shit and yelling

i’m just tryna dip but he keeps saying like NO all your shit

and it’s just like... thats hella unreasonable but i can’t really reason w this guy... i’m not worked up at all, just realizing theres no way i’m gonna get through to this guy

eventually the cops knocks on the door, and they question us separately... the cop questioning me checked if i was ever physically assualted but it wasn’t like that... the cops inside eventually talked brian down to letting me have one day to move all my shit...

one cop came out and was serious as fuck telling me that i had to move out. i was like oof, okay. i get you.

i just felt fucking bad, i knew he was yelling and shit but i didn’t know how to get the fuck outta there

the cops gave me a ride to amy’s place and i’m gonna crash here for the night. i have some stupid required club shit i need to do from 8:45 but afterwards i’m gonna go to the women’s center and they’re gonna help me find a place to stay...

sigh...

first of all i’m mad chillin, dont worry bout me, i be outta this mess. shouldn’t have played w fire. needed to realize i was playing fucking carelessly with some crazy fucking fire... i thought we knew what was going on but i was definitely being naive and irresponsible, cause id be really friendly and cutesy w him, which i obviously shouldn’t have been doing. even if i was being clear about him never having a chance. when he fucked up he gets so emo and enraged about this unresolvable shit but it’s just breaking his fucking heart.

i definitely brought this upon myself by not thinking and even trying to be in each other’s lives lol and me being me and him being him

just nope

anyways i’ll be safe and take care, i know yall worried about me, but dont worry too much cause i’m actually chillin

the cop questioning me recommended therapy and then was like its for students and i was like lol yah u right also i’m paying for it anyways

sigh....

the cops were so nice and handled everything really well, though. they made me feel comfortable, and i even managed to perk up a few times cause they were so nice and funny

i just can’t believe this happened, i’m in this situation. i know now i just needa fucking close this gd chapter... and honestly now brians outta my fucking life even though he’ll probably want me back later

things are totally cut clean. i don’t even care about him anymore cause we toxic to each other, jeez. fuck him, me first, i dont need to care about him. and i’m glad i gave him a reason to kick me out of his life, right? haha yikes

i’m in a good place in life and with who i am rn. this shit isnt phasing me. its just like smh i can’t believe this shit HAPPENED to me lol. like i’m homeless bc my ex flipped his shit on me and the cops had to come....... jeeeeeeez.......

yeah i know pretty smh but its all good i livin life and ownin shit and havin fun still

also my tinder date went fuckin awesommeee and i really met and connected w someone today so it was lit.

its just a wild end to a day that was p fucking great LMAO

pls leave ur thoughts and concerns below. always tryna be honest w yall, yall are truly a support system even if sometimes its like i know i know LOL i love all of yall and i always feel the love and i’m thankful for it. we a family.

thanks for followin my adventures and carin about me. i’m always just tryna do my best but still gettin into shenanigans and makin mistakes. ill just always grow and think about what i’d do better next time, and do it. peace. ✌🏻

[weepingalter-blog]

Have you ever:

1) Self harmed?

yeah. i no longer do it tho. i fear the response 

2) Got into a real fight?

cam and i would get into fights when we were young. it wasnt serious but hes strong and im weak so bruises werent uncommon. apart from that then no

3) Been too depressed to move out of your bed?

yup

4) Tried to commit suicide?

yes. obviously failed

5) Had to lie to EVERYONE about how you felt?

yeah

6) Watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting?

no. i dont watch tv

7) Talked yourself out of serious trouble?

yup. go back to self harm

8) Accused someone of using you?

of course. i am so afraid of the past repeating itself

9) Shoplifted?

no. too afraid to

10) Gotten drunk/high?

no. i doubt i never will

11) Been to a concert where your favourite artist was playing?

no. concerts scare me so much

12) Skipped doing homework to play a video game?

not really

(Right now) Are you: 13) Suicidal?

yeah. not like i would ever do it

14) Bored?

no? just extremely depressed and paranoid

15) Avoiding someone?

technically yes. i dont want to talk to people right now

16) Avoiding some task?

yes if you count self destructive things

17) Depressed?

haha yes

18) Crying?

god i wish so. i cant as mum will soon come up to bed and i cant let her see me crying

19) Annoyed with a friend?

paranoia is making me do feel annoyed

20) Worried and confused about something important to you?

yeah i guess

Do you: 21) Get depressed easily?

yeeeesss

22) Get jealous/envious easily?

again yes

23) Feel listening to music can take your mind off things?

depends on the music

24) Worry about messing about your relationships a lot?

yes. a lot. i do it anyway so why worry

25) Try hard in all your classes at school?

i am at college now but yeah. i need to try now

26) Go out drinking?

no

27) Smoke cigarettes?

no

28) Smoke weed?

no

29) Do any hard drugs?

no

30) If you said yes to 28 but no to 29, Why?

no to both. i cant even get away with it so why bother

31) Believe in God/Belong to a religion of your own free will?

no. i am sure i am a nihilist

32) Avoid people you care about because you feel you will only hurt them?

yesyesyes

33) Agree that self harm numbs emotional pain?

yup

34) Believe people deserve second chances?

NO

35) Agree with ‘An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth’? (ignoring the religious relation to that saying)

i dont know. i fear being hurt for doing something bad in return so i guess not

36) Think things will get better?

i want to think it but i cant even believe it

37) Feel afraid that you have done wrong and will eventually be punished?

yes

38) (be honest) Do you judge people who think differently to you? (seriously, be honest)

of course

Preference in boyfriend/girlfriend: pretty sure im on the ace spectrum but regardless ill do it

39) Long hair OR short hair?

long

40) (For Girls one) nice smile OR nice abs?

nice abs i guess

41) (For Guys one) nice smile OR nice chest?

i dont think im attracted to men

42) Shy OR open?

open? as long as they are there for me

43) Eyes OR body?

eyes

44) Religious OR non-religious?

non-religious i guess

45) Caring OR non-restricting of you?

caring

46) Straight edge OR non-straight edge?

i dont know what this means

47) Piercings OR no piercings?

no piercings

48) Tattoos OR no tattoos?

tattoos

49) Quiet stay-at-home type OR party type?

stay at home

50) Has friends you get along with OR has parents you get along with?

friends

Would you: 51) Drink alcohol until you were drunk?

no

52) Smoke weed?

no

53) Smoke cigarettes?

no

54) Get even with someone who betrayed you?

never

55) Forgive a boyfriend/girlfriend who deeply hurt you?

fuck no

56) Attempt to kill yourself if everything fails you?

maybe. if theres nothing to stop me then yeah

57) Keep your faith (any religious view) no matter what?

sure

58) Join a band as a part time activity?

no

59) Feel sorry for someone who is being affected negatively from alcohol/drug abuse?

i mean sure

60) Stand up for your beliefs if someone strongly goes against them?

nooo

61) Go vegetarian for a month to see what is was like?

i might not stick to it but ill try

62) Fight someone who was harassing your friends/family?

no. cant fight

63) Edit photos of yourself before posting them online?

i dont post pictures online

64) Put up with friends who constantly hated against something you believed in/supported?

they arent friends so no

65) Be friends with someone who was nice to you, but a cunt to other people?

i dont really interact with people but sure

66) Not like someone simply because your friend(s) didn’t like them?

possibly

67) Lie to someone close to you because you don’t want them put up with your problems?

oh lots

68) Starve yourself so you fit some certain clothes?

not for clothes, no. i am close to underweight as im 5.3ft and around 110 pounds so very close to underweight

69) Get surgery on any part of you? If yes then which part of you?

no. why bother

70) Sleep naked?

i do that already so yeah

You can only choose one: 71) Black or Orange?

black

72) Metalcore OR Post-Hardcore?

metal?

73) Cellphone or Computer?

computer

74) Chocolate milk OR Coke?

coke

75) Tumblr OR Friends?

tumblr. i can be private on here

76) Apple OR PC?

whats the difference

77) TV Shows OR Movies?

movies

78) Old bands OR new Bands?

new

79) Pop-Punk OR Alternative Rock?

music

80) Reading OR Listening to music?

listening to music

81) Coke OR Pepsi? Define your reason for your choice.

whats the difference

82) Staying who you are OR changing yourself drastically?

staying who i am. the latter would make things worse

83) Breakdown OR Clean vocal bridge?

i dont care

84) Jonny Craig OR Kellin Quinn? Define your reason for your choice.

wut

85) Ronnie OR Craig? Define your reason for your choice.

dont care

86) Your life as a comedy OR Your life as a documentary?

documentary. i know my life is a joke but it suits a documentary

87) Go to outer space OR Go all around Europe?

outer space

88) Shoes OR Shirts?

shirts

89) Chelsea Grin OR Suicide Silence?

nah

90) Drop out of school to get a job OR stay at school and finish your education. Define your reason for your choice.

stay. i am close to finishing college so why bother

Almost over: 91) So far have you told 90 truths? And for fuck sake be honest.

i did my best

92) Are you quiet about your social life with your family?

yes

93) Do you want to travel when you are older?

no

94) Would you let go of people who mean the most to you to follow your dreams?

i dont have any dreams so no

95) Did you notice there are no sex related questions?

i dont care. plus since there are questions about school then good

96) Rather be the opposite gender?

what would that be? agender?

97) What will you name your son/daughter?

hope

98) Do you get harassed more than most people do?

i think

99) What band do you hate the most? Define your reason.

dont have one

100) What makes you a bad person in your mind?

im just so shit and terrible and all i do is hurt others