#therefore the last half is downright horrendous imo

[hearthotchner]

last night i dreamt that somebody loved me

golden rays peeked through the gap in the curtains, as a soft, warm breeze passed through the room, causing your eyes to flutter, yet stay closed, wanting to bask in the feeling of him, for just a moment longer. strong arms had found themselves around you, pulling you into his firm chest, while his head was buried in the crook of your neck. gentle hands trailed up and glided through his inky hair, as he sighed and pressed a kiss wherever his lips could find.

it was a peaceful moment — one you often had, before it would all be broken, taken away from you. but, it was nice. it was nice to forget about all the horrors your job entailed, to have aaron.

you turned to lay on your side, wanting to take in his features, as you always did, to remember them well, before he left.

you loved how his eyes shone like honey, when the sunlight hit them just right, and how they crinkled at the corners, as he grinned down at you, before giving you a soft kiss.

a faint buzzing from your nightstand interrupted your blissful morning.

no longer were you basking in the glow of sunrise, no longer were you enveloped in warmth, no longer did you have aaron.

you put the phone on loudspeaker, and you listened to his monotone voice fill the empty room, staring blankly at the wall, while you rest your head on your knees.

whenever you awoke, you wondered when it’d be the last one — when you wouldn’t have these illusions of a life with a man you could never have.

it was the same old dream. where you’d share soft, intimate moments with one another, but he’d never talk. you’d never hear him whisper sweet nothings into your ear. maybe it was because you had come to terms with the fact that he would never be with somebody like you, so much so, that your mind couldn’t even imagine him saying those things to you.

when you walked into the conference room, your eyes met his, ones that were as hard and black as coal, a complete contrast to the soft honey-like ones, you had seen not so long ago. his frown didn’t waver, while he waited for the last few members of the team to show up.

and just before you were all sent to pack up and get ready for the jet, he asked you to stay behind, asking if everything was okay — even apologising for calling you in so early, when he knew you often struggled to sleep.

the way he spoke to you… the way he spoke to you was so soft, gentle, and you loved the way his brows slowly knit together in concern, it was as if he actually cared. but he didn’t.

he’s just your boss. he doesn’t want to see you lacking on the field.

you immediately disposed of any thoughts that were involved with him reciprocating your feelings, or else you’d be no better than the people you chose to hunt down for a living.

swiftly walking away from him, you missed the way his gaze lingered on you for a little too long, and missed the way his ears were tinged red when rossi caught him staring through the window.

it would be better to ignore the things that’d give you false hope. if you fell victim to them, you’d only be hurting yourself when met with rejection. aaron could never love you, he could never want to be with you.

so you’d go on, only having him in dreams, not wanting to shatter that conjured up thought of your aaron. after all, you’d rather live in the bliss of fantasy, than be met with the harsh truth of what you thought was reality.