#therefore never being a burdon to anyone and tonight i was like woah! that probably wasnt an okay thing to feel at the ripe young age of 14!
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random self reflection tonight:
realising i may have been slightly depressed at 14 instead of like 18 when i realised i was perhaps Mentally Unwell
#i mean i didnt wanna off myself cus i remember thinking depression and suicide sounded scary but the fact that at 14 i was like#(internally. i never told anyone this) yeah i wish i could go back in time and make it so i was never born and never existed#therefore never being a burdon to anyone and tonight i was like woah! that probably wasnt an okay thing to feel at the ripe young age of 14!#though you could argue i was already mentally unwell due to having general anxiety and social anxiety#idk when thr general anxiety started but the social anxiety is like a i was most likely born this way or it started at like age 1 or 2 so...#and to top it off 😔 ive insecurities about my appearance since i was like 4 so WOOF damn gurl....you were not doing super good as a child!#like i didnt hate my appearance when i was little (took me until i was like 10 or 11 to get there 💖) but i also knew i wasn't exactlypretty#so uhhhh ;w;
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