#therefore I hope they go fuck themselves in the ass with a cactus :)

[thisgingerhasnosoul]

Everyone talking about how “Jews and Muslims are enemies and all want each other dead” is absolutely batshit to me, because pretty much the only people I’ve felt safe around lately, besides other Jews, has been—you guessed it—my Muslim friends/mutuals.

[imagine-loki]

Irked

Title: Irked

Author lokilover9

Chapter 1

Original Imagine: Imagine due to having highly effective telekinesis, Tony Stark seeks you out and hires you. Loki’s been forced to live there by Odin and help on missions when needed, making penance to Midgardians. Prior to moving into the Tower, you learn of his superior and arrogant attitude and upon being introduced, immediately dislike him. Particularly because he looks at you like your his next meal.

Warnings: None

Imprisoned on Midgard by Odin, Loki was forced to live in the Stark Tower and work with Thor and the Avengers on missions Tony deemed him suitable for. This was to pay back his debt to human society and although unenjoyable, it was far better than life in an Asgardian prison. Given his own apartment, he was free to roam about as long as he avoided restricted areas. This lead to restlessness and boredom and much to the dismay of his coworkers, he’d begun seeking ‘inconvenient’ means of entertainment.

Shandi, a beautiful young Canadian woman in her late twenties, possessed the gift of telekinesis. It’s strength being so advanced, she’d worked with the police, military and some government agencies in her country and on some high risk cases and a couple of secret missions in America. Tony learned of her through a military connection and felt she’d be an asset to the team. Her unique ability had also brought on several death threats and one attempt on her life. Learning of this, Tony convinced her she’d be safer living in the Tower than alone in a new city and convinced her to move in. Two days later, he’d gathered a meeting in the main staff room to formally introduce her when realizing Loki was missing.

“Anyone?” He sarcastically asked.

Thor gave him a look and he instantly caught on. “You can’t be serious.”

“My apologies as I only learned of it this morning.”

Whatever Thor was referring to, Tony was clearly unimpressed as were the others. Secretly warned of Loki’s attitude by Pepper however, Shandi’s perspective was the less interaction with him the better and wasn’t disappointed at all. Everyone was welcoming and after some small talk, were about to disperse when Tony glanced beyond her shoulder.

“Now you show up? How kind of you to grace us with your presence.”

The hairs on the back of Shandi’s neck spiked the moment Loki began speaking. “Did you miss me that much Tin Lips? Who would have thought?” Eye fucking her from behind, Loki was quick to meet hers when she turned. “And you must be Shandi.”

The smugness and air of superiority he exuded, immediately irked her and she went silent on his approach.

“Shandi.” Said Tony. “Meet Loki, our resident prickly Cactus.”

Smirking, Loki’s gaze remained fixated on the woman. “Forgive my tardiness my lady, I was…”

“Loki.” Thor warned.

The two locked eyes with disdain and Loki continued. “Bidding farewell to company.”

“No worries.” Shandi replied, before turning to address everyone else. “Nice meeting you and I’m looking forward to working together.” ‘My lady?’ She thought, while passing Loki. ‘Oh please.’

Standing aside, he openly eye fucked her from behind again as she exited the room. “Delightful.” He whispered.

“Down boy.” Said Natasha as she passed.

The rest followed, minus Bruce as he was on vacation and Thor was the last one out. “Must you brother?”

“What?” Loki asked. “Admire the beauty of a mortal? What crime is there in that?”

“There isn’t, but you were taught better manners and could be more subtle in your actions.”

Loki shrugged his shoulders. “I’ll consider it.”

“Sure you will Cactus.” Said Tony. “In the meantime, will you stop bringing hookers into my Tower? We’ve talked about this.”

Thor left as the conversation continued.

“Such odd names you Midgardians have for things. They’re ‘Escorts’ in case you’ve forgotten.” Said Loki. “I request them from the most highly reputable agency for occasional ‘company.’”

“Right and you ‘escort’ them directly into your bed. Oh wait, my mistake. The imaginary one you keep conjuring up with magic on the west side of my third floor that’s under construction. Need I remind you they could be sent here by anyone and try escaping into another area of the building. Why do you continuously disregard the dangerous outcomes of that possibility?”

Loki smugly smiled. “If you’re under the impression I’m ignoring your concern then, ‘my bad’ as you Midgardians phrase it, but trust me. The last thing they wish to do once escorted to my bed is escape and are never out of my sights while on the premises.”

Tony glared at him. “I don’t give a shit, so listen carefully. It’s not my problem dear old Dad doesn’t allow you to leave here without big brother. Therefore, until ‘I’ can trust ‘you,’ he can accompany you ‘outside’ these walls for carnal activities as well. Jeopardize the safety of my Tower and employees one more time, and you’ll be growing hair on your palms imprisoned elsewhere. Have I made myself clear?”

Loki had no choice but to obey. “Yes ‘Tin Lips’, very. Am I dismissed?”

“Yes and I better not hear of you offending our newest employee either. I’d like her to stay.”

Loving how easily he could irritate Tony, Loki snickered as he left. “What if ‘I’ turn out to be the reason she does stay?”

Tony stepped into the corridor. “I mean it Cactus! Does the name Bruce Banner mean anything to you?”

Walking backwards, Loki saluted him with a sly smirk before carrying on.

“Prick.” Tony mumbled.

Two days later, the Avengers were sent on a mission for three days Shandi nor Loki were required for and it gave her a chance to get more settled in. Tony had quickly shown her around, but the place was so massive she went down the wrong hall looking for the gym and ended up at the library. Dressed in tight workout attire, Loki couldn’t resist ogling her again as she stood in the doorway seemingly confused.

“Lost darling?”

“A little and my name is Shandi if you’ve forgotten.”

“Can I help you, ‘Shandi?’”

“Yes. Could you point me in the direction of the gym please?”

He walked to the door, book in hand and nudged his head to the left. “Down at the end of the hall, make a right and it’s the first door on your left.”

Although his demeanor continued irking her, she didn’t fail to notice how stunning he was up close. Piercing eyes the color of emeralds, perfectly chiseled cheekbones, sculptured jaw and lips so crisp in outline and tint, they had to be the envy of many. Still, they way he looked at her pissed her off and she didn’t hesitate to tell him.

“Thank you, but when you speak to me, would you mind looking at my face?”

Loki smiled. “As you wish.”

She headed down the hall and glanced over her shoulder. “You aren’t granting my wish by staring at my ass either. Don’t you have a book to read?”

Turning back into the library, he discovered the couch he’d been sitting on had been tipped over without him knowing. “Clever girl.” He quietly stated. “This should be interesting.”

After working out, Shandi tried leaving the gym, but the door was locked. Inside there was a button that connected her to Jarvis.

“Good afternoon Shandi. How may I help you?”

“The door seems to have jammed here and I’m stuck. Please help?”

“Allow me a moment… Hmm, it appears nothing in my system is indicating a problem. Try again?”

“Nope. Still nothing Jarvis.”

“How odd. I’ll have to look into this further. In the meantime, there’s an exit into the opposite corridor via the pool.”

This didn’t work either and upon returning to the intercom, she saw Loki at the glass door. A smirk curled up at the corners of his mouth as she approached.

“You’re doing this?”

He stood there with his hands behind his back, that smirk becoming a smile. “Just a little return inconvenience for the one you caused me.”

Her reply carried a heavy dose of sarcasm. “Oh dear. Did ems’ have to readjust his wittle couch and tidy up ems’ books? That’s what you get for being rude, now would you mind opening the door?”

“Rude?” He asked. “My eyes were merely paying you a compliment.”

She scowled at him. “Open..the door.”

“Very well.” He obliged and stepped aside, gesturing with his hand. “After you.”

Shandi remained still. “Oh I don’t think so, you first.”

“Ah, so you wish to ogle me from behind then?”

“Seriously? Don’t flatter yourself and from now on, have your eyes keep their opinions to themselves.”

She walked off and Loki waited until she turned the corner before following on his way back to the library. “Wasn’t I supposed to leave first?”

Shandi kept walking and without turning, flipped him the bird.

“Oh my, such rudeness from a lady. Do not come to me if you get lost again, I won’t help you.” He cackled as she kept walking.

‘I wouldn’t come to you for water if I was on fire.’ She thought. ‘Asswhole.’

Shandi rose early the next morning in her pink checkered flannel pajamas with silver hearts on the butt. Discovering she was out of coffee, she ventured to the staff kitchen hoping to find some. Loki entered shortly after in a dark green, loosely tied robe to find her searching the cupboards.

“Morning darling.”

“You’re up early and I told you my name is Shandi. Let me guess, you’re out of coffee too?”

Loki sauntered towards the large picture window, looking out at the city. “Tea actually.”

She glanced at him as he turned to lean against the sill, catching a glimpse of his abs and black boxers. “The God of mischief drinks tea? Right.”

Loki crossed his arms as she continued. “Why is that so hard to believe?”

“Nevermind.” She picked up a chair and carried it to the counter. “Don’t you have clothes you could put on?”

“Why, am I bothering you?”

“You’re flattering yourself again. This ‘is’ a shared kitchen, yes?”

“True, but I wasn’t expecting you to make an appearance and I could ask the same regarding your attire.”

After searching all the lower shelves, she stepped up onto the counter to search the highest ones. “You must know where the tea is. Why don’t you get it and go?”

“I would’ve, but you were in the way.” Leaving his robe still partially open, he walked towards the counter and opened a cupboard two over from her.

“I looked in there already.”

Deep in behind some tall glass jars containing pasta, he pulled out coffee and tea and placed them on the counter. “Are you sure? There’s still two more bags up here.”

She checked again and with a huff, attempted stepping backwards onto the chair. “Who keeps coffee in the same cupboard as…” Her foot slipped through an opening in the design and her arms flailed as she toppled backwards.

Loki darted behind her, gripped her waist and steadied the chair until she freed herself. “That would be Tony.”

Gathering her composure once grounded, she turned slowly and cleared her throat. “Thank you.”

“Next time, be more careful Darling. I may not be around to rescue you.”

He smiled slyly as Shandi lifted the chair, trying to ignore how the feel of his firm body pressed against her had sent a wave of heat to her panties. After putting it back, she politely nodded and left.

A moment later, Loki called to her while stirring his tea. “You forgot your coffee.”

She cringed before returning, quietly picked it up and went to leave again.

“Nice hearts by the way.”

Shandi sighed with her back to him as she left, but said nothing.

Loki then took the spoon from his tea to find it contorted and chuckled. ‘Nice one.’ He thought. ‘This should be interesting indeed.’