#there. i hope hearing the intended conclusion of it puts any curiosity or anticipation to rest. sniffs

[birbwell]

that unfinished bidwell&pauling comic that i drew back in 2020 has been gaining notes recently and i figured that i might as well put it to rest and post the panels that i did finish here

i had sketches of pauling freaking out about the possibility of bidwell trying to kiss her on the drive, and was gonna end it like. oh bidwell likes the hot muscular protagonist of the film who looks sort of like his boss while pauling is more. gushing about his love interest. and they kind of get a Gay Understanding and relax more about hanging out w each other :]

[sharkbait77]

The Sun Sets With You

Chapter Five: Just A Man

Summary: A simple yet despondent farm life suddenly sparks with new hope when an unusual traveler makes your town his latest stop and brings with him intriguing and promising viewpoints and no one to share them with. Until he meets you.

Pairing: Ezra Prospect x f!Reader

Rating: M

Warnings: Fluff! (It's getting cute y'all!), death of a parent, grief, smoking, food, Silas🤢, a little sad Ezra in this one

W/C: 4k (made it a little longer to make up for the wait! 🥺)

A/N: We are back! I'm so so so sorry this took so long to get out! What can I say, life happened & kept knocking me down & I couldn't find the strength to write for this fic. I'm still not even completely happy with this chapter, but after reading it so many times, I think it's okay lol a huge thanks to everyone for being so patient & lovely to me ♥️ okay, I'll shut up, hope you enjoy!

Series || Main || Taglist || AO3

Chapter Four || Chapter Six

~MAY EIGHTH OF EIGHTEEN SIXTY-SEVEN~

As the days and weeks passed, Ezra finally felt comfortable enough to join you and Pa for meals at your family table, sitting and eating quietly until responding to a thought or question of Pa’s. It felt nice. It felt…warm and natural. As opposed to the slight coldness you’ve felt sitting with Pa, without your mother. Though it was still as quiet as your meals alone with your father, the silence now was more comforting.

You realized shortly after that last evening under the tree with Ezra what exactly ails you when near him, why exactly your pulse quickens and you feel heat flush your neck and cheeks. It was a startling conclusion, given that you have been inexperienced when it comes to the term ‘love’, outside of the love you felt for Ma and Pa. This, with Ezra, contrasts immensely.

It had caught you off guard, a small infatuation with the man that you realized must have taken hold of your heart from the first moment you met him, when you simply could not remove your eyes from his face. You now find your eyes lingering on his features longer, learning the curve of his smile, the fine wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, memorizing the tone of his voice and his laugh to be replayed in moments of silence.

It’s strange; a simple emotion that you had witnessed your whole childhood into adulthood from your Ma and Pa, an emotion you carry in your heart for each of them, though the way you experience it now, the strength in which it has grasped onto your very being – and so suddenly – has been enough to make the room spin whenever you lay your eyes on him. The idea of taking a husband has never been one of priority. Up until now, at least.

“Many thanks for the delicious meal, miss. I am grateful you have welcomed me into your home as such,” Ezra says as he stands, helping you take the soiled dishes to the wash basin.

“You have always been welcome, Mr. Prospect. I am glad you now feel comfortable joining us,” you say with a gentle smile, looking up at him as he approaches you with the dishes. You catch a faint hue of pink spreading across his sun kissed cheeks.

“Would you care for a pipe, Mr. Prospect?” Pa calls out as he sits in his chair by the fireplace, beginning to pack away tobacco in his own pipe.

“I very much appreciate the offer, sir, however I do not smoke,” Ezra replies kindly as he turns away from you to face Pa and you begin washing.

“Good man; do not start the nasty habit until you become old and worn as I am now,” Pa jests.

“I only see a wise man, years of strength and kindness the only evidence that you have lived a wonderful life thus far,” Ezra compliments and Pa releases a hearty laugh.

“As I said: ‘old’,” Pa replies and both Ezra and you laugh along.

The genuine and natural lightheartedness of the conversations Pa and Ezra shared tonight warms your heart and you realize tonight has been one of the few nights you’ve smiled so freely, so frequently, since Ma’s passing and you strongly sense her spirit surrounding the three of you. Almost as if you could hear her laughing along with you all.

Although a feeling of sadness lingers in your heart that she cannot be here physically, you remember Ezra’s kind words and let them ease you. The comfort you feel wash over you leaves you pondering if it’s a sign of acceptance from above, from Ma, that she welcomes Ezra’s presence amongst you and Pa.

“Can I be of any assistance, Sunflower?” Ezra turns and asks quietly, out of earshot of Pa and addressing you by his personal endearment he has bestowed upon you.

“Thank you for offering, Ezra,” you reply just as softly. His given name had nearly slipped from your lips on more than one occasion tonight, but you felt it best to remain coy in front of your father. “I’m nearly finished now.”

“Perhaps tomorrow night. I will not miss my chance then to be of service,” he smiles and the inside of your cheek stings from the bite you dealt to keep from grinning widely. “I will take my leave for the night. The lovely beasts I room with will be missing my presence, I fear,” he says, loud enough for Pa to hear as well and Pa chuckles at his statement.

“Always a pleasure to have you for dinner, Mr. Prospect,” Pa says and stands to shake Ezra’s hand. “Daughter, would you be so kind as to walk Mr. Prospect to the door?”

“Yes Pa,” you nod, abandoning the soapy dishes for the time being and you wipe your hands to dry on your apron as you head towards the door with Ezra.

Pa smiles again in Ezra’s direction as he walks past and takes his seat once again, watching the flames dance and flicker. Ezra opens the door, allowing you to walk through and step on the porch and he follows suit, shutting the door behind him.

“Shall I walk you to the barn?” You offer.

“No, Sunflower, I would prefer you to stay. The dark of night may carry with it many dangers lurking around the corner.”

“All the more reason I should walk with you,” you grin, wrapping your arms around the wooden support post as you watch him step down into the dirt.

“Then I would intend on escorting you back here and we will only find ourselves repeating the action for one another until daybreak,” he chuckles. “Until tomorrow, dear Sunflower.”

“Tomorrow,” you smile and nod. “Good night, Ezra.”

“Good night,” he bows his head in farewell and turns on his heels to head toward the barn. You linger a moment longer to assure he is well on his way, waving when he turns back to steal another glance at you.

You take a deep breath to calm your galloping heart and turn to walk back inside, Pa sitting quietly as he continues smoking. You head back to the wash basin to finish the chore, rinsing, drying, and putting away the dishes before heading over to sit next to Pa, grabbing a new book from your small collection.

You decided to leave Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland to read with Ezra under the tree and the image of the two of you lying in the grass as you read to him brings a contented smile to your face. After quite a bit of comfortable silence, you feel the curiosity inching through your brain like an insect and decide to give in to the itch.

“H-how are the crops faring, Pa?” You ask while picking at the corner of your book.

“They grow fine,” Pa replies simply. “Each and every week another inch to their lives added.”

“And… Mr. Prospect has been much help?” You continue carefully.

“Oh yes, he has taken on the majority of the labor. We are blessed that he sought to help us.”

“Yes,” you smile softly as you lower your head slightly, gathering the courage to continue the conversation. “And… How do you feel about… Mr. Prospect?”

“What do you mean, child?”

“The townspeople think him...odd.”

“They must reflect on themselves before passing that judgement onto an innocent man. Especially the four hens, as you like to call them,” you giggle and look up at Pa, a slight smirk hidden beneath his thick, grey beard as he lets out a deep chuckle.

“Yes, but… What do you think of Mr. Prospect?”

“Why the curiosity, daughter?” He asks, though no irritation is found in his voice; instead, a light-hearted tone, one of knowing. Knowing why you insist on finding out his opinion.

“Merely curious, Pa,” you say quietly, just loud enough for him to hear over the crackle of the fire.

“Hm,” he hums as he inhales smoke through his pipe, taking his time to retrieve an forthright answer from his mind while you gaze at him in anticipation.

“He is an honest man. Good and kind. A hard worker. I believe he is fit to be a lawful husband to any girl who seeks his affection,” he finally says, looking deep into your eyes and his words go straight to your fast beating heart.

You catch the smile on your face growing, evident in the strain you feel across your cheeks and you put your head down to face the book in your lap.

“That's nice,” you reply once you've cleared your throat and regained control of the muscles on your face.

“Yes. Yes it is,” Pa smirks as he inhales another puff from his pipe.

~MAY TENTH OF EIGHTEEN SIXTY-SEVEN~

Today is as exhilarating as the rest; you attempt to sort through the inventory of the shop, taking note of which supplies are dwindling while also marking down new items the townspeople have requested, such as candles and playing cards for the children. As you walk toward the back of the shop, beginning your count of products there, the shop bell dings and you hear boots stomping from whoever has stepped through the door.

“Just a moment, please,” you call out to the customer from over your shoulder, hoping not to lose track of the count in your head.

“Please, do not rush, Sunflower,” a gentle, familiar voice replies and you feel your heart thumping faster in your chest now as you turn quickly, inventory be damned.

“Ezra,” you greet the man standing meekly at the front of the shop. He takes a few steps forward to meet you beside the counter. “What brings you to town? Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Oh, no thank you, Sunflower. I needed to send a letter off at the post and thought that my day would be much brighter were I able to visit you as well,” he says with a soft grin and you lower your head to hide the bashful expression on your face.

“Well, my day has brightened now, too,” you reply, gaining the courage to look up at him again, the apples of his cheeks reddening. “I trust you were promptly taken care of then?”

“Yes, Mr. Williams is a kind man,” he nods. “The elderly woman who works there as well – she is quite the conversationalist,” he releases a soft laugh.

“Ah, yes. Mrs. Williams,” you shake your head. “She actually does not work there, just adores to be in the center of it all,” you jest and Ezra chuckles. “I do hope she was not too overbearing.”

“Only slightly,” he shrugs. “After you and your Pa, her and Mr. Williams have treated me the kindest since my arrival.”

“Oh Ezra,” you share a perturbed look. “I am truly sorry for the way the town has behaved.”

“Sunflower, you have no reason whatsoever to apologize for the actions of others. Unfortunately, this town has not been the most unpleasant I’ve come across. I was very lucky to have found you. And your Pa,” he rushes the last phrase and you smile knowingly, his mouth curving slightly as well.

You open your mouth to continue the conversation, the innocent coquetry between you, yet no sounds are released from your mouth before the shop bell dings again and you sigh at the interruption. You turn your head and your racing heart, caused by Ezra’s presence, races faster, only in anger now.

“And what do we have here?” Silas’s booming, uninvited voice resonates through the shop. “What business could a queer like you have to conduct in town?” He looks at Ezra and you step in front of him.

“I told you not to call him that, Silas.”

“It does not seem he’s made any purchase,” he says, making a show of looking in Ezra’s hands for any paper bag. “Yet he is allowed to stay and converse while you toss me in the dirt.”

“Go away, Silas.”

“Sunflower-” Ezra calls gently from behind you, unable to finish his thought.

“‘Sunflower’?!” Silas laughs. “She does not need a freak to endear her, not when she has a real man. Like me.”

“Silas, he is more of a man than you could ever hope to be,” you spit out.

Of all the times you had the opportunity to speak your mind to Silas, you held back. Though, now that it is directed to Ezra, you feel that innate protectiveness for him wash over you again, no matter the cost or consequence.

“You dare say such a thing to me, girl?” Silas takes a menacing step forward.

“She is not a girl and you will not speak to her as one,” Ezra moves to stand in front of you now. “And I do believe she has requested for you to take your leave.”

“And exactly who will force me out? You?” Silas puffs out his chest, as if he were attempting to assert his role as an alpha, and frustration grows on his face at Ezra’s lack of response to the tactic.

“If I must.” Ezra replies simply and calmly, the tone of his voice even, though underneath lies a hidden message that he would not back down from a brawl, if it were to come to that.

“Ezra, please, he isn’t worth it,” you say softly, reaching out to hold his forearm.

“Oh, aren’t I?” Silas scoffs.

“I will summon Sheriff Wilson here to collect you himself if you do not leave my shop right this instant,” you hold your unyielding gaze to Silas’s, raising your chin slightly so as to challenge him to defy your wishes.

Silas hmph’s, his thick brows arching menacingly as he glances down at where your hand rests firmly on Ezra’s arm, clearly displeased at the contact. You feel Ezra’s form tense next to you, and you use your free hand to lightly press against his back in an effort to calm him.

“Fine,” Silas finally says harshly as he turns his back to you and Ezra and stomps to the door.

He looks over his shoulder one more time at the two of you and something about his animalistic eyes sends a nasty shiver down your spine. Before he can see you falter, he rips the door open, walks through, and slams it shut, rattling the frame as he leaves. You exhale shakily and Ezra turns his body to face yours, his hands gripping onto your upper arms as his eyes rake over your face in concern.

“Are you alright, Sunflower?”

“Oh Ezra,” you gaze at him thoughtfully. “It should be me asking you that same question.”

“Please, don’t worry about me. My only concern is you,” he continues, his eyes trying to follow yours as you look away from him. “Does he come here unannounced often? Has he bothered you before?”

“Ezra, he has always been a thorn in my side, but it is nothing for you to concern yourself with. I promise,” you look in his eyes, hoping to convince him, but you suspect it does not work and his hands fall from your arms.

“Sunflower… I did not appreciate the way he looked at you and spoke to you.”

“It’s alright Ezra, it is not anything I can’t handle,” you smile and grasp one of his hands in both of yours, squeezing it gently as reassurance.

You’re unsure of what to say. What could you say? That up until now you have been cowardly when it came to Silas Taylor? That it was not until Ezra’s arrival to town that you have come to know a stronger side of yourself, willing to risk your already frail reputation to defend this man’s name?

Ezra sighs heavily, staring into your eyes a moment longer before looking away. You watch his eyebrows crinkle together, the worry wrinkles along his forehead becoming more prominent as he reflects on the situation that just passed.

“Are you alright? Please… Do not take anything he says to heart,” you say softly and your kind voice pulls him back from his thoughts and to this moment with you. He smirks and huffs a chuckle through his nose.

“No fear, Sunflower. It is not a trial I cannot handle,” he cocoons your hands in both of his and squeezes lightly, as if to reassure you he is alright. “I will go now, Sunflower.”

“I understand,” you nod. “Then… I will see you back at the farm for supper.”

He smiles to acknowledge your words, releasing your hands and heading to the door. He turns once more to nod his goodbye, places his hat back on his head, and walks out the door. You walk to the front of the shop to watch him through the window, his hands in his pockets and his shoulders slumped forward as he walks swiftly to leave the area.

Your head feels on fire, ready to blow steam at any moment as you watch the townspeople around staring at him. They turn to each other, presumably whispering gossip amongst themselves about him. Unfortunately, as you have come to know Silas, you know he will be spreading word of the ‘threat’ he felt from Ezra, which you surmise will only result in the townspeople turning their backs on Ezra even further.

~MAY TWELFTH OF EIGHTEEN SIXTY-SEVEN~

Ezra had not shown up for supper that night or the night that followed. You had wanted to take supper to him, but Pa advised against it. He had heard on his last trip to town what transpired between you, Ezra, and Silas. You prepared yourself to, once again, defend Ezra, however, Pa’s unabated rancor of Silas all but guaranteed Pa would not believe a word from his mouth.

Pa informed you that when he returned and asked Ezra about the situation, he assured the man that he was not at risk of losing the job at the farm, and while he was grateful, he did not wish to speak on it further. Pa told you to leave him to gather his bearings and you complied.

On your way to the oak tree, you pick two apples as you had done the Sunday prior, and to your earnest disappointment, you do not see Ezra as the tree comes into view. You look left, then right, hoping it was possible he had just walked along the riverbank, but you were alone.

Heaving a sigh, you turn to face the way you came as you debate on heading back. Your weekly tradition almost seemed silly to continue alone, after having been in Ezra’s company the past few weeks. It almost felt...incorrect to spend time here without Ezra now. You take a few steps forward, now under the shade of the tree, sparing another moment in case you missed him.

“Sunflower,” his elated voice from above frightens you and you quickly turn your head to follow the sound, seeing his bright smile from where he sits on a thick branch.

“Ezra! You startled me!” You chuckle as you take a few breaths, covering your racing heart with your hand.

“My apologies,” he chuckles. “I did not hear you walk up otherwise I would have made my presence known sooner.”

“I did not expect to see you in the tree today,” you smile up at him.

“Come, join me,” he smiles, patting the bark to the side of him.

“I have not climbed a tree since I was a child, Ezra. I will fall,” you shake your head.

“I will never let you fall, Sunflower,” he smiles and your now settled heart begins to race again. “It’s simple, really. Nothing to it. I will guide your steps.”

You take a deep breath, pondering for a moment if the risk was truly worth it, but there’s an excitement in this small adventure that you feel your soul reaching for. You smile at Ezra and nod, removing your bag and placing it at the base of the tree.

You follow Ezra’s voice commands as he tells you where to step up and you use more muscles in your body than you have in so long. You heave yourself upwards, careful that your boots do not miss any section of the tree that will have you flying all the way back down.

Finally, you make it far enough for Ezra to take hold of your arm, using his strength now to help pull you up until you’re close enough to attempt to sit. He scoots over, keeping his hand tightly grasped on your arm to make sure you don’t fall. Though, at this point, if you were to fall, Ezra would certainly fall with you.

You plant your bottom firmly onto the branch, breathing heavily and smiling widely at the accomplishment and Ezra chuckles along with you. You try to settle yourself further and suddenly get the sense of falling, reaching out instinctively to hold onto Ezra’s arm and you practically glue yourself to his side for support.

“You will not fall, Sunflower,” he reassures and you feel him lean closer into you to comfort you.

“Pardon me,” you giggle, feeling steady enough now to remove yourself from him. You take a deep breath and look out ahead at the river and the grassland, spotting the other farms in the distance. “Wow,” you say breathlessly. “It’s a beautiful sight.”

“Yes, it is,” Ezra responds softly. You turn your head to him where you already meet his gaze and turn away again as you smile.

“Oh no,” you gasp as your eyes meet your bag down below. “I left the book… And the apples,” you turn to frown at Ezra.

“Do not fret, Sunflower,” he smiles. “I enjoy your company regardless.”

“Maybe...you could read me more of your prose?” You prod gently, hoping he will be willing.

“Yes,” he says wistfully as he glances down at his journal. “I do like when you read to me, however.”

You smile as he passes his journal to you and you cradle it with care in your hands. You move to open it and the binding opens automatically to one page, clearly still stiff from where he had it open, this addition to the pages only written just recently. You clear your throat and let your eyes dance as they pick up the words in his neat handwriting.

“‘A being from a different universe desires to live amongst the men in peace on Earth, for his purpose to be written in the stars. A nomad, an outcast on the run, desperate for a residence more suitable than his dreams. Soon, he will find home, and soon, he will find life’,” your voice trails towards the end of the passage, your heart wrenching at the meaning behind it.

“Ezra…” You call softly once you notice his head has lowered.

The silence stretches and you can almost visualize it expanding across the lands in front of your view, any helpful or comforting words escaping from your reach. The only conclusion your mind seems to come to is just to place a hand softly on his thigh. You feel his muscle twitch at the contact and he glances over at you, a light tint of pink beginning to spread across his cheeks.

You suddenly feel embarrassed to have placed your hand there and you immediately think to yourself that perhaps it was not welcomed, though before you can remove your hand, Ezra places his own, large and warm, over yours. Your mind settles while your heart beats rapidly. You still do not know what to say, but it does not seem Ezra is expecting for you to say anything at all.

“I’ve missed you at supper, Ezra,” you whisper and grin softly.

“Forgive me for my absence, I was not… I did not feel…” You sense him struggling as he lowers his head again and you place your other hand on top of your intertwined ones.

“I understand; you have no need to apologize.”

He looks at you again and you give him a reassuring smile and he returns the gesture. You two say nothing and let the comfortable silence blanket the air around you while you gaze out to your surroundings again, your hands not leaving each other’s grasp.

“Sunflower?” He calls and you turn to face him again.

“Yes, Ezra?”

“I’ve missed you as well.”

Chapter Four || Chapter Six

Series || Main || Taglist || AO3

Tags: @the-ginger-hedge-witch @asta-lily @honeymandos @pascalpanic @aliwritesfic @mandocrasis @hnt-escape @winter-fox-queen @sarahjkl82-blog @day-off-inkyoto @pedrocentric @astoryisaloveaffair @amandalovess @foli-vora @lucrezia-thoughts @chasingdreamer @quica-quica-quica @pedro4ever @mishasminion360 @wardenparker @librariantothejedi @fan-of-encouragement @javierpinme @writeforfandoms @ew-erin @you-got-me-starry-eyed @beskarboobs @andiesturgss @maryfanson @princessxkenobi @castleamc @magpie-to-the-morning @pbeatriz @radiowallet @stevie75 @honestly-shite @bison-writes @amneris21 @disgruntledspacedad

Ezra Prospect Tags: @quietpainter @grogusmum @tenderwhat

[yoosungisbabie]

infidelity - day seven

@mysme-events

jumin x mc

rating: T

prompt: sacrifice / revenge / {grief}

warnings: mentions of cheating, wine drinking

word count: 2,986

ao3 link

[ ko-fi | paypal ]

When she shows up heartbroken at his door, what else can he do but let her in?

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Jumin lightly hummed to himself, trying to place the tune as he scanned his wine cooler for a selection that suited his mood.

His phone began to ring in his pocket, and he quickly pulled it out, seeing that it was Assistant Kang. He chose the bottle that had caught his eye as he stood and accepted the call.

“Yes?” he answered, filing through the list of potential problems that she could be calling about. He set the bottle on the counter, moving towards the wine glasses.

“Mr. Han, MC is on her way,” she said with a sigh, making Jumin pause for a moment.

“On her way where?” he asked, confused as to what that information had to do with him.

“To your home,” Jaehee replied. Jumin’s eyebrows furrowed together, and he lifted his arm, pulling his left sleeve just above his wrist to check his watch.

“Why?” he wondered, stepping away from the counter and glancing at the front door.

“I’m not sure, sir,” she huffed. “She simply asked me to send her a car so that she could visit you.” Jumin's mind shifted from his office at work to the RFA chatrooms. He mentally searched the logs, trying to identify any need for her to visit.  

“And you did so without question?” he wondered, walking over to the coffee table to straighten some files and grab his empty coffee cup.

“She sounded quite upset,” Jaehee spoke, prompting Jumin’s mind to shift once again. He tried to remember if there had been any changes in her pattern of speech or eating habits recently, but he couldn’t find anything that would’ve prompted her to become upset, much less to visit him.

Despite how he was trying to logically analyze the situation, hearing that she was in distress filled him with unease, and he found himself eagerly anticipating her arrival.

“Did she mention why?” he wondered, placing his coffee cup in the sink and moving to grab a wine glass. He opted to prepare two, hoping that his guest would appreciate the choice of drink. It was strange that he’d already begun to think of ways to cheer her up when she hadn’t even arrived, and he wasn’t sure it would be a matter of his concern in the first place.

“She didn’t, but she’ll be there momentarily to tell you herself,” Jaehee replied, making his eyes find the front door once more. Jumin ended the call, absentmindedly running a hand through his hair and looking around once more to make sure the space looked tidy.

It was only minutes later that there was a brief knock on the door, the pattern consistent with that of his chief of security. He had just finished opening the bottle of wine, but he stepped away just as the man entered.

“Good evening, sir,” he said. Jumin’s tried to peer around the chief to see her, but the man stood perfectly in the space between the door and the wall.  

“Ms. MC is here to see you. Should I let her in?” he asked. The question caught Jumin off guard for a moment, finding it nonsensical but quickly remembering that he was only doing his job.

“Of course,” he nodded, straightening his shoulders as the chief stepped to the side and opened the door wider to reveal her standing there.

It was obvious that she had been crying; her eyes were swollen and remained slightly red. Her cheeks were rosy as well, and the frown on her lips looked like it had been there for quite some time.

“Hello,” he said softly, realizing that he’d simply stared at her instead of greeting her properly. He gave a parting nod to the chief, prompting him to close the door behind her and leaving them alone in silence.

“Hi,” she spoke softly, her voice sounding hoarse. He couldn’t help his curiosity; there was a myriad of questions he wanted to ask, but he first focused on being a good host.

“I was just about to enjoy a glass of wine. Would you care to join me?” he asked, gesturing towards the kitchen. She nodded, and he walked back over to the counter, pouring them both a glass while she watched. He motioned for her to take the glass as they both sat down, grasping his own and raising it slightly.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of…” he started, his voice quickly fading as he watched her tilt her head back and swallow the wine he’d poured in one gulp. He blinked at her, watching as she carefully placed the glass down on the counter.

“It’s nothing,” she said firmly, not meeting his eyes. He studied her, wondering why she’d come all that way if she intended to remain quiet about what was upsetting her. He tried to discern an explanation from just her face as to why she would have visited him rather than someone else.

“Do you need something from me?” he wondered. She sighed out slowly, tilting her head and staring at her hands as they rested on the counter.

“I just…” she started, shaking her head at herself. “I just didn’t know who else to go to,” she said, making him wonder what he possessed that put him so high on her list.

“I also knew you would probably have a bottle of wine on hand,” she said, ducking her head sheepishly. He couldn’t help but smile, a short, effortless laugh passing his lips.

“That much is true,” he said, hearing her snicker briefly. That small sound, accompanied by the slight smile she flashed him made his body feel delightfully weightless. It was a strange, warm feeling that he didn’t have a name for, but it made him realize that the stress he’d been feeling earlier in the evening had almost completely disappeared. It was hard to remember why he’d been worried in the first place, and he wondered if that relief had something to with the woman sitting next to him.

Her smile fell once more, making him notice that he’d subconsciously been smiling as well. She took a deep breath, pushing her hair behind her ears.

“Okay. It’s not nothing,” she admitted, her words heading the return of his curiosity. She eyed him, an intense sadness lingering in her eyes.

“My boyfriend cheated on me,” she said plainly, making him blink in surprise.

“Oh,” he breathed quietly, watching her clench her fists together.

“I’m just so angry and confused and just...angry,” she said through gritted teeth, her voice trembling just enough for him to notice.

“That seems like a logical response. He violated your trust,” Jumin said, watching her nod and look up at him.

“He did,” she agreed. Her bottom lip trembled, and he guessed she was holding back tears. The sight made his jaw tighten, and his mind was full of a sudden aversion for a man he’d never met and never wished to meet. But as soon as that thought crossed his mind, he imagined how quickly he would be able to ruin that person’s life if he desired it. He felt his eyebrows furrowing when he realized he didn’t have a definitive answer of whether or not he did desire to do such a thing.

“Gosh,” she sighed harshly, sniffling and shaking her head. “I just wish I hadn’t been so willing to overlook the warning signs,” she said, watching him as he busied his hands with pouring her more wine.

“Was his infidelity obvious to you?” he wondered. She let out a laugh despite the fact that he hadn’t made a joke, but it was so dry that he could safely assume the answer to his question.

“Now that I look back, yes,” she said quietly, taking a sip from her glass. His eyes were on her hands as she twirled the glass until he heard her sniffle again, looking up to see her in tears. His heart lurched at the sight, making his lips part in surprise.

“Are you alright?” he asked softly, watching a heavy tear fall from each eye and drop onto her cheeks. He pulled the purple handkerchief from his suit pocket, glad that he hadn’t dressed down since coming home from work. He offered it to her, and she hesitated for a moment before gently taking it in her hands and looking down at it.

“No,” she whispered, laughing a little. “But I’ll be fine,” she told him, using the handkerchief to blot the moisture from her cheeks. He pressed his lips into a tight line, trying to think of something that would make her feel better.

“Is there some way I can help you?” he asked, hoping that talking about a solution would temporarily distract her from the problem. “You’ve come to me in this hour of despair, but I’m not sure what to offer you aside from more wine,” he said, feeling his eyebrows crease together as he gazed at her helplessly.

“More wine is always good,” she said with a short laugh, turning to look at him with watery eyes. He held her gaze, admiring the way her eyes shimmered pleasingly as she began to smile through her tears.

“You’re really kind, Jumin,” she said softly, surprising him once more. He felt his eyebrows pull together as he considered her statement.

“I’ve done nothing that could be considered kind,” he refuted, watching her roll her eyes. He kept studying her, observing the way she looked completely unconvinced.

“You have, you just don’t want to believe you’re kind,” she shot back, a hint of teasing shining though in her tone of voice. He watched her quietly, wondering if she was right.

There was no reason to be kind to her aside from the fact that she was a member of the RFA, but when he assigned that as the reason he felt protective over her and worried for her wellbeing, the conclusion didn’t seem to fit. He couldn’t understand why seeing tears in her eyes and on her soft cheeks sparked a strange, fuzzy feeling in his chest and a frown to appear on his lips. Imagining ever upsetting her in a similar as then felt like a shot through his heart.

She shifted slightly, moving to the center of his vision. He’d been staring as he thought, and he’d forgotten to respond to what she’d said.

“I find that it’s easy to be kind to you,” was what left his lips, an unsettling feeling of bashfulness falling over him.

But his words made a smile spread across her face, a genuine, soft smile that reminded him of the wind blowing through the trees in his private garden on a spring day.

He made a note to himself to say more things to her that would prompt smiles of the same kind, but he wasn’t entirely sure why he’d gotten such a reaction.

“Oh, Jumin,” she said suddenly, her smile dropping as she glanced at the clock on the wall. “It’s getting late,” she sighed, meeting his eyes again. He shook his head at the thought of her leaving so soon.

“It’s no bother to me. I have some work to do, so I’ll be up for a while longer,” he told her. Her face twisted into an expression he hadn’t seen on her before, her lips pursing into a small pout.

“I hope you’re getting enough sleep. Have you eaten dinner?” she asked, tilting her head at him. He felt his mind go blank for a split second, his whole body seeming to reset at the concern and care in her eyes.

Her personal life had been uprooted in the span of one afternoon, yet she was using her energy to worry about him. The thought baffled him.

“I did,” he exhaled, nodding slowly and seeing her sigh in relief. He tried to refocus his mind, finding his fingers twitching slightly as his mind wondering what it would feel like to run his hands through her hair.

He forced himself to deal with the problem at hand, remembering that she’d hinted at leaving so soon.

“May I ask a personal question?” he spoke, drawing her gaze again. She nodded, smiling a little and handing his handkerchief back to him. He took it gently, seeing her tears already beginning to dry on the fabric.

“Of course,” she said, lifting her glass of wine for another sip. He folded the square of fabric in his hands slowly, pulling his eyes away from hers.

“Do you live with your significant other? Ah, forgive me. Your previous significant other,” he said, correctly himself and seeing her try to hide a wince.

“I do,” she replied, her voice becoming small once more. “But I’m going to find somewhere else to stay for now.” She looked down at her hands, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.

“Oh, that won’t do,” he said to himself, watching her look up in confusion.

“I’d be more than willing to allow you to stay here,” he said, making her eyes widen as she stared at him. “There’s a guest bedroom on this floor. Alternatively, the floor beneath this one would also be a suitable place for you to stay,” he told her, watching her press her lips together. It was almost surprising how quickly he was willing to offer his home to her.  

“I’d hate for you to spend your money at a time like this,” he added. He watched the thoughts spin in her head, her eyes wandering across the room as he waited.

“Are you sure?” she asked, tracing the rim of her glass and glancing at him. He nodded once, but that only seemed to make her more conflicted.

“Thank you,” she sighed after a moment, making him release the breath he’d been holding unknowingly.

“It’s the least I can do,” he smiled, watching her lean down to put her head in her hands. She let out a harsh sigh of relief, and the sound, though born from distress, made him glad that he was fortunate enough to be able to help her.

His mind kept working, wanting to make sure she’d be at ease whilst staying there.

“In actuality, my bed would be the most comfortable if you’d prefer it,” he said, watching as she lifted her head slightly to peek at him with wide eyes. “I probably won’t sleep tonight now that I think about it, and it would be nice to be able to keep an eye on you,” he said, feeling his throat constrict after clamping his mouth shut. Something about what he’d said made him feel like hiding his face, but he quickly became distracted by hers.

Her cheekbones were painted in a pretty red, and her lips parted in what he guessed was surprise as she stared back at him. The sight prompted a strange tingling sensation to pass through his body.

“Are you alright? Your face has become red,” he said gently, watching as she turned away from him, clearing her throat and pressing a hand to her cheek.

“Yeah, I just...have a headache from crying,” she answered. Her words had him out of his chair in seconds, moving to the cabinet that contained medicines to find the ibuprofen. He quickly brought it back to her, tasking himself with getting a glass of water for her next.

“Thank you, Jumin. For everything,” she said behind him, making another effortless smile spread across his lips.

“There’s no need to thank me,” he replied, turning back to her with a full glass of water. He stepped over to her, holding it out to her and watching as she took it from him carefully. But as he let go, he noticed how her hand was trembling, causing the water to come dangerously close to spilling over.

Jumin reached forward again quickly, placing both hands around the glass to steady her hold. He’d accidentally clasped his hand on top of hers, meeting her eyes quickly and wondering if she felt a fire raging at the point where their skin met as he did.

He immediately felt the need to apologize. His heart was racing like he was guilty of something, but the way she was looking at him made him infinitely curious about the blossoming feeling in his chest was and how he could prolong it.

“Sorry,” she said softly, beating him to the apology as they both lowered their hands to the counter and set the glass down. She wouldn’t meet his eyes again, her face still flushed as he took a deep breath to calm himself. The waves of emotion surging through him were strange and confusing, but he wanted to focus on her wellbeing while she was in front of him.

“I’ll order some pajamas for your stay and leave you to attend to my work,” he spoke quietly. She met his gaze as he took a step back, absentmindedly loosening the tie around his neck.

“I’ll be in my office if you need anything. Please make yourself at home,” he added, nodding politely to her as she finally cracked a small smile once more.

“Thank you, Jumin. Really,” she said, her voice warm and pleasant. The thought of listening to her speak for hours on end almost completely erased any priorities from his mind, so he bowed slightly and left without another word.

He walked to his office quickly, shaking his head at the way his heart continued to race even after many minutes had passed since he’d been in her presence. He silently blessed her beautiful mind for thinking of coming to him first but wished it had been under better circumstances.

Despite the burning animosity he felt for anyone who could hurt such a gentle soul, Jumin couldn’t ebb the flow of happiness that raced through his veins knowing that she was safe in his care.

~~~~~

and that’s a wrap on mysme angst week 2020! thank you all so much for all your support! it means so so so much to me. 

i hope you all have a wonderful day, and look out for more from me in the future! <3 <3 <3 

-Mel <3

[delta-roseblr]

Felix and Kyle Visit an Adult Book Store: Finale

Tonight is just a night full of content. I hope you enjoy the stunning conclusion to this mini adventure!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Felix started down toward the end of the aisle. Dean being away at college was turning out to be more sexually frustrating than he had anticipated, but he wasn’t desperate enough to buy a dildo. Or at least that was what Felix was telling himself. What he was actually hoping to find wasn’t so much different, but it wasn’t because he was desperate. He did miss Dean and sex with Dean plenty, but he wasn’t to the point of desperation quite yet. In March when any school breaks were barely a thought and he and Dean hadn’t seen each other since January, Felix might be singing a different tune, but he wasn’t there yet. It was curiosity that had brought him to this point, a curiosity he was cursing as Kyle followed him around an adult toy store.

“Okay,” Felix heard Kyle comment from behind him, “Well that at least narrows it down.”

Felix stopped at the end of the aisle to look around because he really thought what he was looking for would have been near the dildos but of course, it couldn’t be that simple and now he had no idea where he was going.

Kyle’s arm appeared from behind Felix and pointed toward the end of the store opposite the door they had entered through. “The sign down there says male toys, we could look there for whatever it is you are looking for,” Kyle observed.

Felix could hear the slight annoyance creeping back into his voice. He got it and Felix was annoyed too. He wished he could have just driven himself so he wouldn’t have to share the weird experience of going to a sex shop and buying a masturbatory aide but there Felix fucking was. At least Felix knew Kyle wouldn’t be a dick about the whole situation. He might get a little annoyed and he would definitely want to talk about stuff, but he could take a hint about when he should shut the fuck up. Felix was infinitely happy that Kyle was like that.

He shrugged, “Worth a shot.”

Felix walked over to the back wall where the sign Kyle had pointed to and found a large display made up of a variety of things including fleshlights, cock sleeves, and cock rings. There was a moment Felix thought he might have been where he needed to be, but after closer inspection, he realized what he was looking for wasn’t there.

What the fuck! Felix definitely wasn’t frustrated by this at all.

“And this?” Kyle questioned as he pulled a masturbatory sleeve off the wall and held it in Felix’s face, “What is this?”

For a guy that literally knew not only the name of every adult toy store in the city of Nashville but also which one supposedly had the best selection for m/m clients, Kyle really didn’t know much. That was sort of how Kyle was though, on some things he seemed pretty knowledgeable, and then on other things, he was totally in the dark. It would be interesting if it didn’t always seem to lead to Felix in awkward conversations explaining things he didn’t want to explain.

“It’s a masturbator,” Felix answered. He didn’t really want to explain further but he felt rather obligated to, which was rather annoying. Kyle was extremely lucky he had somehow grown on Felix because otherwise, he would have already been out of the entire conversation. “They come with different ridges and stuff on the inside,” he went on pointing toward one end of the sleeve, “You put your-”

“I got it,” Kyle assured before Felix had to get to the truly awkward parts to explain.

He took a minute to examine the thing in his hand more closely and with a lot more apparent interest. Figuring that was a private thing Felix started looking around at the signs hanging from the ceiling that indicated where things were. None of them listed what Felix was looking for but he hoped that he would at least find a clue of where to look next.

Who knew? Maybe he would have if he was given enough time, but Kyle had other plans. He once again held out the masturbator for Felix to look at if he wanted to or not. “Want to get a few?” Kyle asked with a big self-satisfied grin. “You won’t be seeing Dean again to Thanksgiving, so you have a month of self-pleasure ahead of you,” he pointed out not that Felix really needed the reminder. Felix was painfully aware of just how long it would be until he got to see Dean again in person. “One or two could come in handy,” Kyle suggested as he shook the thing in front of Felix in a way Felix guessed was supposed to be a tempting way. “Pun sort of intended,” Kyle added sounding especially pleased with himself.

“I’ll be fine,” Felix insisted as he swatted the thing away. A month was going to be absolute hell, Felix knew that, but he would survive it. He shot Kyle a humorless grin before retorting, “But maybe you should get yourself one, or do you want to go back and check out the dildos some more?”

“Weren’t we here for you?” Kyle muttered as he blushed ever so slightly as he looked away, “What were you looking for exactly?”

Again, Felix considered just telling him and again when he looked at Kyle he chickened out. “I haven’t seen it yet,” he grumbled instead of providing any useful information.

“Well,” Kyle declared as he threw his hands up in a show of surrender, “We could go ask the girl at the counter.”

Felix’s head whipped in Kyle’s direction to glare so fast he was surprised it didn’t issue an actual sound. Felix guessed if he had to, he would consider Kyle to be a friend and he didn’t like the idea of him knowing about this. Felix would have rather lit himself on fucking fire than go and ask the girl at the counter anything.

“Dude, how are you still so uncomfortable talking about this stuff?” Kyle questioned sounding completely bewildered.

“It’s private,” Felix growled in reply. He thought that was pretty fucking obvious by the fact that it was sex, but apparently, that needed reiterating. Kyle huffed like Felix was being the impossible one. Felix was being perfectly reasonable, and he was fucking fine letting Kyle think whatever the fuck he wanted. Asking the counter girl was just not fucking happening.

“Fine then…” Kyle started and just sort of trailed off at the end. The two of them just stood there for a minute looking around, or at least Kyle did. Felix was already convinced what he was looking for just didn’t exist and the whole trip had been an exercise in futility. After a minute, Kyle pointed toward the very back of the store. “How about we check out that area over there labeled anal play?”

Felix looked, saw the more than obvious sign hanging on the wall, and felt like a complete fucking idiot for not seeing it sooner. The sign was so big it could practically reach out and slap Felix in the fucking face. Fuck.

“Oh, yeah,” Felix muttered, “That’s probably a good idea.”

Felix and Kyle walked over to the area indicated by the sign as Felix worked hard not to rush over out of curiosity and anxious energy. As they got closer Felix could make out a variety of promising things. Felix noticed a large display of anal lube first, followed by prostate massagers, and then anal bead (which weren’t exactly what Felix was looking for, but he wasn’t opposed to the idea).

Everything Felix was seeing was in the right category so the fact that he didn’t immediately see what he was looking for had him convinced that what he wanted just wasn’t there and the whole experience of going to a sex shop had been a complete waste of time. And then he saw it, or more accurately them. At the very end of the aisle was a complete display of the exact thing Felix was looking for.

He forgot that Kyle was with him and went directly for the display and didn’t stop until he was standing in front of the display and staring up at what was an overwhelming selection. There was no losing Kyle, so Felix wasn’t surprised that Kyle was quickly at his side staring up at the display and he was honestly too distracted by the selection before him to be embarrassed.

“Oh, butt plugs,” Kyle observed as he stared up at the display that had caught Felix’s attention, “Are you going to send one to Dean, so he doesn’t miss you too much?”

Felix could tell that Kyle was so proud of that little comment. He so obviously thought he was making a funny little joke. Felix just had to stare at Kyle for a moment and contemplate its origin. As much as Felix tried to avoid conversations about his sex life (because that was very fucking private), he couldn’t say he and Kyle hadn’t talked about sex. Felix had tried to avoid that too, but he was the only person in a same-sex relationship Kyle knew, and as a closeted gay kid, Kyle had questions, and he was persistent about asking. Felix had always been careful answer things as hypothetically as possible, he just always figured that Kyle somehow knew how things were between him and Dean. He might have just been being self-conscious not that he was particularly ashamed of the fact that he preferred to bottom. For one thing, it felt fucking incredible and for another, topping could be fucking stressful. Still, Felix just assumed that most people could look at them and just know the roles that he and Dean normally played in the bedroom.

“Oh, wow,” Felix almost whistled he was so impressed with how far off Kyle’s assumptions were, “You think I’m the top in the relationship?”

“I mean, yeah,” Kyle replied sounding suddenly uncertain. “I have seen you and Dean together,” he stated like that was some sort of defense. He took another second or two to think about it before he looked at Felix and he was clearly questioning all of his previously made assumptions, “Are you not?”

Felix contemplated just changing the topic but there was something about Kyle. In truth, Felix liked having him around more than he had intended when he inherited him from Dean. He kept his expression serious as he replied, “I mean, I have topped.”

Kyle stared at him for a long moment and it was hard to tell if it was out of shock or if he was just contemplating the very idea before bursting into laughter.

Felix could have easily been embarrassed but Kyle’s laughter was sort of infectious and he found himself fighting the urge to laugh himself. “What?” he questioned only when he was sure that he wasn’t going to burst into a giggle fit like a twelve-year-old girl.

“The way you said that!” Kyle declared as his laughter started to die down.

“What?” Felix reiterated although the more he thought about it the more he heard it.

Kyle shook his head and whipped a laughter induced tear from his eye. “Oh my god, this moment makes being friends with you more than worth it,” he declared. “So you have technically topped in an emergency or two?” he posed the question but thankfully didn’t wait for Felix to really answer. “Not what I would have expected, but I’m totally not judging. I just always got the bottom vibe from Dean.”

Again, Felix had to resist the urge to laugh although this time it was for a very different reason. At first, where Kyle got that idea was a complete mystery. From the first moment, Felix had started letting himself think of Dean in a sexual way he had always imagined him topping. That could have said something about Felix’s own preferences, but he thought it had more to do with Dean’s personality and general mannerisms.

When he started to wonder if his own preferences or curiosities had colored his perceptions of Dean, it struck Felix why Kyle’s perceptions might have been so skewed. “Was that because you were hoping Will was?” he asked seriously.

Felix had never given a thought to what role Kyle would likely play in bed because that wasn’t a mental image he wanted running around in his brain but he guessed by the way Kyle’s face immediately dropped he was onto something. “I didn’t mention Will,” he stated suddenly very serious.

“It was implied,” Felix replied.

“How?”

Felix reached out and patted Kyle reassuringly on the shoulder as he spoke. “I hate to ruin your fantasy but I’m pretty sure Will is even more of a top than Dean.”

“We aren’t talking about me or any guys I may or may not find insanely hot and sexy, we are talking about you,” Kyle declared. He was obviously trying to divert the conversation and with the references of Will being hot and sexy, Felix couldn’t say he wasn’t doing a good job because that was fucking gross to think about. “And apparently shopping for you,” Kyle continued even though Felix was sure his general disgust showed on his face. “So, which one do you think you are going to get,” he asked looking up the at the display with interest, “Or you could get multiples. There appear to be sets.” Kyle pointed up and Felix saw the cluster of sets, most made up of three or four different butt plugs of various sizes, where they hung on the wall.

Felix blinked a few times in surprise. Once he got passed the whole concept that Will was hot, Felix was surprised by Kyle’s reaction. There were lots of reasons that Felix didn’t offer up details about his sex life, but Kyle, especially the risk of questions, served as a deterrent. Felix expected an onslaught of somewhat personal and intrusive questions.

“You don’t have anything to say about the fact that I-?”

“Prefer catching?” Kyle finished his sentence for him as he gave Felix a quick glance. He turned back to the display in front of him and shrugged, “No, not really.” Felix was dumbfounded which was probably why he stayed silent but apparently it wasn’t what Kyle was expecting. Either that or it gave him a little extra time to think about what he had just said. After a few seconds thought, Kyle turned and looked at him again, this time looking confused more than anything else.  “Do you want me to say something about it?”

“No!”

“Perfect! I’m glad we are on the same page,” Kyle turned back to the display to leave Felix to his shock.

“Oh, look, this one is rainbow!!!” He exclaimed excitedly. He reached out and pulled a literal rainbow flag butt plug off the wall and held it up for Felix to see, not that he couldn’t before.

It took Felix a minute to mentally switch gears and even then, he felt slow to respond. “Um….I don’t think I want to put a pride flag up my ass, thanks,” he eventually managed. The appearance probably shouldn’t have mattered because Felix didn’t actually intend to spend all that much time looking at the thing but still a literal pride flag seemed over the top.

“Oh,” Kyle looked at the thing in his hand with disappointment before placing it back where it belonged. He gave Felix a look that told Felix he was not going to like anything Kyle had to say next. “Would you feel better if it was a bi flag or pan?” He asked with a shit-eating grin, “Cause I will absolutely go ask and see if they have it if you want.”

“No, I’m good,” Felix assured adamantly because he couldn’t imagine a greater horror than another person being involved in this whole situation, “But thanks.”

“Fair enough,” Kyle shrugged. Based on his tone, that was pretty much the response Kyle had expected. He went back to looking at the wall and after a few seconds came back with, “I’m guessing if you aren’t into pride flag butt plugs you also aren’t looking for ones with tails.”

“You would be correct,” Felix agreed flatly. That would pretty much be the opposite of the disgression Felix was interested in.

The smirk that spread across Kyle’s face gave Felix the immediate urge to cover his mouth before he could say something. “Dean might be into it,” he stated and he was obviously so damn proud of himself based just on his tone.

Felix actually shuttered at the thought. “Dean will never know about this,” he snapped on Kyle quickly and way more harsh than he intended. It was one thing for him to buy a sex toy and go through the embarrassment of Kyle knowing and the girl at the cash register knowing, but Dean knowing was another story completely. It wasn’t like he had any illusions that Dean didn’t know he masturbated and he was sure as shit not dumb enough to think Dean had taken up celibacy while at college but that was very different.

“You aren’t going to tell him?” Kyle exclaimed sounding utterly shocked by the very idea, “But he would probably lose his damn mind if he knew you were-”

“Dean never knows about this,” Felix cut Kyle off with a warning glare just in case his point wasn’t clear enough.

Kyle tried, he did try to look like he was serious or maybe a little scared, but he didn’t quite hit the mark. The fact that he was trying to hold in a laugh probably didn’t help. “No telling Dean,” he nodded, “Got it.” Even if Kyle found the situation humorous Felix knew he could trust him to keep his mouth shut. Kyle was pretty good at keeping secrets. The fact that no one at school seemed to realize that Kyle was gay was evidence of that.

“What’s your feelings on the color pink?” Kyle questioned as he turned back toward the wall of butt plugs.

Felix let out a long sigh and looked back up at the wall. There was a shocking number of pink butt plugs in a variety of shades and with a variety of gems, most of which were also pink. Felix had nothing against the color in the theory, but in reality, he wasn’t thrilled with the idea of using a pink butt plug.

“I would rather avoid it if I could,” he admitted.

“Okay,” Kyle declared with a thoughtful nod. He continued to examine the wall display like it contained the answer to life, the universe and everything or something. “And glass? Do you have thoughts on that?”

This was so not how Felix had seen the day going. He didn’t imagine he would end up standing there talking to fucking Kyle about what he was looking for in a god-damned sex toy shop. It was so fucking bizarre Felix was at a complete loss. He was even beyond being embarrassed because it was just so fucking weird. He still wished Kyle would just go check other stuff out so he could pick a butt plug out privately but that was obviously not going to happen, so he was just going to have to fucking roll with it.

“Glass is cool, I guess,” he answered, “but I don’t know how safe it is to put it up my ass.”

Felix could have pointed out that he had done his fair share of research on butt plugs before deciding to venture into Nashville but that just seemed fucking weird to admit. Also, the verdict on butt plugs made out of glass seemed pretty mixed. Some sites seemed like they were pretty pro while others made it sound like you might as well shove a broken bottle up your ass. Considering the wealth of them on the market they couldn’t have been that risky, but Felix still was pretty hesitant.

“Yeah, I can see how that could be a bit risky,” Kyle agreed. His eyes scanned the wall for a few seconds before making an excited little noise. “What about this one?” He pointed to a metal plug about halfway up the display. It looked to be about two inches in diameter with a round purple jewel at the base.

It looked like a pretty standard medium-sized butt plug like dozens Felix had seen online. It would probably do the job, but Felix didn’t feel particularly excited about it either. “Um…..”

“So that is a no,” Kyle declared before Felix had a chance to actually answer. “Is metal a problem, is it the gem, is it the shape?”

“No, all that is fine,” Felix answered. He couldn’t believe that he was having the conversation he was having or that he was willingly answering that question but there he was. “It just……”

When Felix stopped and just let the unfinished sentence just hang there Kyle huffed with annoyance before asking, “What?”

Felix didn’t mean to, but he squirmed. It was just such an uncomfortable thing to say out loud, but he guessed he was already in so far there wasn’t much point in being bashful. “It is kind of small,” he pointed out.

“Are you looking for dick sized?” Kyle questioned. Felix couldn’t tell if he was exasperated or joking or some mix of the too. Felix couldn’t even blame him if he was totally annoyed because if the situation was reversed Felix knew he would have been totally over this already. “Because I thought you said you weren’t looking for a fake dick.”

“I’m not!” Felix defended. He wasn’t looking for a Dean-replacement device, just a masturbatory aid that could come in handy, especially with Dean being away at school. It didn’t need to be Dean-sized, but it had to at least feel like something. “I’m just…..”

“Looking for something with a bit more heft?” Kyle offered.

“Yeah,” Felix agreed. He was genuinely fucking relieved that Kyle seemed to get it, “Exactly.”

“Alright,” Kyle declared with another nod. He looked up at the display critically before reaching up and grabbing one off the wall. “What about this one,” he asked as he handed the thing over to Felix.

It was made of black metal and had a long-tapered end. At the base, there was a multichromatic jewel. The thing was noticeably larger than the last one Kyle had suggested, and it definitely had some heft to it. “This would work,” Felix admitted. It was actually perfect but he sure as shit wasn’t going to say that out loud.

“See, this is why you brought me,” Kyle declared with clear pride, “I’m helpful!”

“This might be the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done,” Felix pointed out flatly, “But I’m glad it could somehow boost your ego.”

“You are so dramatic,” Kyle declared with an eye roll, “Now are we looking at other stuff or what?”

[sterling-starlight]

Chapter 7: The Ocean is Home

Perhaps it was because he had spent the past fourteen years in Unova, but the world-famous Nimbus City ferris wheel had never struck Ingo as all that spectacular.  

He was certain he several other Nimbasa City locals felt the same way. White, on the other hand, was staring out of the carriage like the scenery was the absolutely greatest thing she had ever seen in her life. Grinning from ear to ear, clutching her Seel plush tightly against her chest, knees bouncing in anticipation as they ascended. He was almost envious at her ability to become awestruck at the simplest of things.  The carriage shuddered to an almost-stop as they reached the pinnacle, and White had practically pressed her face against the glass in an attempt to see further out.

“I can see the ocean!” She exclaimed happily, pressing a finger against the glass. “Come look!” She eagerly waved him over, never once tearing her eyes away from the view.  The benches were obviously meant for one person so the fit was cramped and awkward and, honestly, he could see more of White’s profile more than he could see the ocean when he tried to look.

“You like the ocean?” He questioned,  hoping to fill the sudden tension in the air with conversation.

“Of course I do. The ocean is home,” She replied as if it were the simplest thing in the world. “Don’t you feel the same way?” She turned her gaze towards Ingo, head tilted to the side in confusion. “…Or have you been ashore too long?”  There was something in the way she asked the question, an underlying tone of sympathy or pity that Ingo could’t quite place.  

“I don’t understand,” Ingo returned, brows scrunching together. “‘The ocean is home’. What did you mean by that?”

“I meant what I meant,” White placed her chin atop her plush’s head. “I was born and raised in the ocean. It’s home.”

“You mean on a houseboat?”

“What’s a houseboat?”  She looked back to him, confusion painted across her face. “You’re being weird. I was born in the ocean; is that really so strange?”

“Quite frankly, it is.” Ingo shot back, a bit sterner than he had intended. He shook his head and pressed on. “Fine, alright. I’ll concede to your logic. What region were you born in?”

“Ummm…” White put a delicate finger to her lips in thought. “Mama migrated from Orre, I think?… but Black and I were born after she left there, maybe?” She shrugged, “I dunno.”

“Your mother… did she?”

“Can we not talk about this anymore?” White said in a weak voice, squeezing her plushie tightly. “Please?”

Ingo nodded tersely in response. If there was anyone who understood not wanting to talk about dead parents, it was him. Hesitantly he placed a comforting hand on White’s shoulder, causing her to lean into it with a content sound.  The rest of the ride was almost completely quiet, and the silence allowed Ingo’s mind to go in ten different directions, all leading to a conclusion that made him feel like his stomach was being tied into knots.

A pretty girl whose mother had come from Orre, who had been electrocuted at least once in her life, and seemed to have been raised completely detached from the rest of the world. It was unlikely she ever had any official documents, or anything that would link her to her home region in any way. Was White even her real name, or a moniker someone else had given her?  It painted a grim picture, and Ingo felt… enraged at the injustice of it. He had always known that Orre wasn’t exactly the most moral region in the world, everyone knew, but seeing a product of that corruption somehow made it more tangible. The news reports he would hear every now and again about young men and women becoming victims of human trafficking had gained a whole new weight to it.  White had escaped that somehow, but…

“So, hey,” White spoke up, finally breaking the silence. “I’m glad you’re here with me. And that you got me my toy Seel baby,” she held up the plush to emphasize her point. “Elesa said that I might have been too… what’s the word? Vi.. vi-go-rous?” She nodded, “yeah, that. And that it made you uncomfortable. She told me you’re sensitive to things like that.” Ingo felt his eyebrow twitch in irritation. Leave it to Elesa to describe his  anxieties in the most patronizing way possible. “I like spending time with you. So I’ll try to be a little less… what did she say? Bold? Ad-ven-ter-ous?” She shook her head, “one of those things.”

“It isn’t as simple as Elesa might have worded it,” Ingo began, rubbing one of his temples. “However, I do appreciate the gesture. And I… do enjoy spending time with you, too.”

“You do? Yay!” White flung herself onto Ingo, wrapping one arm around his torso and snuggling her head under his chin. He sincerely hoped she couldn’t hear his heart rate accelerating.

The ride ended uneventfully, much to Ingo’s relief. He had half expected Elesa to be there waiting to bombard him with questions regarding how their ride went, but she was no where to be found.

“I’m going to go tell my brother about you,” White announced proudly once they were clear of the crowd surrounding the ferris wheel. “He gets worried if I don’t check in with him,” she continued, rolling her eyes. She patted Ingo’s chest and gave him a brilliant smile, “I’ll see you later. Bye bye~!” White all but skipped away from Ingo, vanishing into the crowd of people as she headed in the direction of the pier.    Ingo turned sharply on his heel and marched in another direction.  He had been planning on going straight home after his errands, but now he had a new destination in mind. ———

Eva Johnson was a woman whose presence commanded the room. She spoke, and people listened. Ingo had met her very briefly one before, and even then felt that she was a force of nature compressed into the body of a portly middle-aged woman.  Eva gave off the aura of “if you don’t have business with me, don’t bother me”, and Ingo found himself awkwardly glued to the spot as he watched her from the other side of the room.  She noticed him and, even with the distance between them, he could feel the judgmental stare she was giving him. Eva quickly wrapped up her conversation with her fellow volunteers and approached, arms crossed over her chest.

“I hope you’ve come here to do more than just gape,” she said bluntly. She shifted, placing her hands firmly on her hips. “Well? How can I help you?”

“I had some questions about White,” Ingo replied. Might as well rip the band-aid off as quickly as possible. Something flashed in Eva’s eyes, an Ingo suddenly felt like he was staring down a mother Ursaring.

“It’s uncouth to talk about our residents in public. Come on then,” she lead them into an empty room that seemed to be, for the moment, used to store extra, cots, chair and tables.  “Now then,” Eva continued, losing up at Ingo. “Normally I would tell you to mind your own business, but White likes you, so I’m willing to be a little lenient. Just bear in mind that I can have you thrown out of here if you cross any lines.”

Ingo automatically stood up a little straighter and he fought off the urge to make sure his clothes were perfectly in order.  “She has said something that have been… concerning. You know her better than anyone, so I had to know,” he took a breath, “before she came here, where did she come from?”

“Is this just to sate your own curiosity? She isn’t a puzzle to be solved and then tossed aside.”

“That isn’t- I wouldn’t do that to her!” Ingo defended hotly. He took in a deep breath, feeling like he was already treading an incredibly thin line. “She’s said some things that have made me worry. She’s my friend. If something happened to her before, then I want to know how I should approach any further line of questioning.”

Eva stared at him, stared right through him, for what felt like an hour. Ingo reached up and loosened the knot of his tie. She eventually relented with a heavy sigh, “let me guess: She’s told you she was born in the ocean? Mother comes from Orre? That she isn’t exactly sure where she’s from?” Ingo nodded. “Then you probably came to the same conclusion as I did: Her mother was a victim of human trafficking, and she and her brother were by extension. From a psychological standpoint, everything about the way she acts points to either her repressing the memories, or trying to make a horrible situation better. A sunny, naive disposition as a way for her to cope.”  Eva’s glare suddenly turned ice-cold as she continued to stare up at Ingo. “She doesn’t know when men want to take advantage of her. She trusts you, so if you even so much as think- if you even so much as try to betray that trust…”

Unwilling to allow Eva to finish the threat on his well-being, Ingo held his hands up placatingly. “That is in no way my intention, ma’am.” He said in an even tone. “You have been incredibly helpful, and I do appreciate your time.”

“…Don’t hurt her,” Eva said in a quiet voice. “She’s already been through enough. Don’t make it worse.”

“You have my word: I will never harm a hair on her head.”

[ardatesnumber5hater]

GOD I WISH I COULD GET THAT ON A TSHIRT

that unfinished bidwell&pauling comic that i drew back in 2020 has been gaining notes recently and i figured that i might as well put it to rest and post the panels that i did finish here

i had sketches of pauling freaking out about the possibility of bidwell trying to kiss her on the drive, and was gonna end it like. oh bidwell likes the hot muscular protagonist of the film who looks sort of like his boss while pauling is more. gushing about his love interest. and they kind of get a Gay Understanding and relax more about hanging out w each other :]