Allright, more date ideas: aquarium(mostly bc ive never been to one but i rlly want to), going to a bookshop and picking a book for each other and then reading it together at a cafe maybe annotating them etc, oh also i rlly want to learn balroom dancing so waltz classes would be fun, weekly(monthly if were to busy) pick a country night where we watch movies/make food from that place and learn trivia. And swordfights, sure. Although you'd probably win them all bc id be too busy blushing from all your puns to focus.
i love them all! the book thingy sounds so personal and sweet...... but all of those ideas do, really!
i'd also love to learn som fancy dances, so we'd sure have a great time. i have confidance in that. <3
DESCRIBE URSELF ON ANON AND I’LL TELL YOU IF I’D DATE YOU
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something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.
not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.
you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.
but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.
you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.
but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you" that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.
you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.
you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?
you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.
you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!
you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"
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Okay but does Peri KNOW that Dev has a robotic leg when he shows up? Something about the fact that Peri's wand is a cane and the fact that Dev could have kept his leg and just had a cane for the rest of his life instead tickles my brain.
I mean he doesn't know immediately, he wasn't like briefed or anything, but he basically lives in Dev's house so he definitely finds out. Peri doesn't comment on or react to it all though really, there's no reason for him to think anything of it, plenty of people have missing limbs, a lot of people are born without them, it doesn't necessarily mean anything sinister happened. He had no reason to pry or ask and I think Peri's lack of reaction to it helped Dev feel a bit more comfortable in his skin. (Not by much but.. a little bit.)
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There's this added layer of sadness to the Sole Survivor that I've never seen anyone talk about, and that's the fact you as the protagonist haven't just been stripped of your identity not just in a metaphorical sense, but a very literal one as well. Despite being frozen for 210 years, the world before would still be fresh in your mind.
Imagine walking down into The Third Rail for the first time to hear the angelic singing of Magnolia echoing throughout the establishment, and as you turn the corner to see her performing in the spotlight, your expression immediately changes as you realize... that's your dress she's wearing.
You're in Diamond City and head over to the office to talk to Mayor McDonough about asking permission to check out Kellogg's house, and when you're talking to Geneva at the front desk you notice she's wearing your mother's necklace. Or worse, you bump into Ann Codman and she's the one wearing it, and you barely get a chance to get a second glimpse at it before she huffily walks away.
You see old memories of yours for sale that you can't buy back because you don't have the money, finding belongings of yours in the most unlikely of places. Things of yours owned by people who can't be convinced that those items are still yours to you, because they can't believe you're really from all those years ago so they mock you instead.
Seeing old photos of you happy from your life before, being placed among photos of other people in buildings being used as some kind of decoration. A bitter realization and a constant reminder that you, the things you use to associate with and the people you use to associate with really are just relics of the past.
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