#there's so many excellent tracks burnt into my memory

[vimbry]

every time I listen to the soundtracks of the og "tomb raider" games, I'm reminded of how much I love, loveeee how that series uses its music. how there's long stretches of exploration with only diegetic sound that really let you get immersed in the world, until suddenly - a music cue alerts you to danger, or a beautiful orchestral score begins as you turn the corner to a new path.

and how, if you're playing on console, you actually hear the disc spin to load the audio track before it kicks in, so it gives you this split-second head start of knowing Something is about to happen! but not what!!

[petitmonde]

Part of that Dragon Sasha x Dancer Anetra idea I talked about yesterday. Thank you so much @sweetlikesunflowersandhoney for entertaining the madness.

TW blood and a smidge of gore.

Into the Heart

Light danced across blades of green, dew drops glistening as the sun welcomed the day on the cold mountain, warming it with its gentle embrace. The forest awoke once more from its slumber, birds chirping and insects buzzing.

Dawn was Sasha's favourite time to take a walk through her domain, on two legs rather than four. Even as a dragon, Sasha enjoyed the mobility her humanoid form gave her. The animals left her alone, and it suited her just fine.

The greenery had grown back from the last time a human army had trudged through her forest to get to her castle. They were all the same, money hungry bastards after her gold. Weak of mind, and weak of body, she burnt them all for their disrespect of the mountain passes.

Small trees jutted up from the once muddied soil, all traces of the intruders gone. A few wildflowers dared set root in the clearing, hopeful of staying in bloom to the end of time. Yellows, whites, and reds proudly stand in defiance of what once was and what was to come.

If Sasha had been an elf, maybe she would have settled to make a flower crown of the cornucopia of wealth. She plucked a red flower and put it in her black hair to saviour that thought. There was no one to see her act like a fool, save for the birds and the bees.

Sasha went on her way, walking past the caves leading to the heart of the mountain, past the waterfalls all the way to the heart of the forest.

The Grand Tree of the Inner Sanctum reached into the sky and shone the brightest amongst all of the trees. Sasha put her hand on the trunk to feel the heartbeat of the mountain pass. Sasha gave it power in exchange for information, just enough to get a feel of everything in her domain. She may have the power of flight to see from above, but she did not possess the many eyes and ears of the Grand Tree, nor the memory of everything past, present, or future.

Sasha retracted her hand, burnt by power unknown. Someone was in her forest, and they were close by. Someone who had power, unlike anything she had ever felt.

Not good. Not good at all.

She had to leave the Inner Sanctum. If these intruders found the Grand Tree, there was no telling what they would do to it.

Sasha rushed into the direction of the intruders, weaving through the dense branches and treacherous terrain.

Chatter broke through the forest, stopping Sasha in her tracks to observe. She was far enough from anything important to engage in combat without a worry that she would destroy it.

There were five people in total. A knight, an archer, a mage, a rogue, and a gunslinger. All of them carrying weapons emitting a strange type of glow only sung about in legends.

Must be enhanced by some type of divine magic, Sasha thought. Her initial feeling of dread upon feeling them through the Tree was right. These people were dangerous and not likely to understand what power they were wielding.

An excellent addition to her hoard. And at the cost of five skulls, that was too good of a bargain to pass up.

They hadn't spotted her yet. Perfect. Sasha inched closer, keeping her footsteps light. The intruders had settled in quite nicely, tents still put up and the flickers of an ember licking up the last few scraps of firewood. Sat on the ground, they were vulnerable.

It would be so easy to turn into herself and burn them all to a crisp, but Sasha was honour bound to face them in proper combat.

"Look what we have here, a band of thieves stealing from the gods to parade through my domain." Sasha's sharp voice startled the group to stand against her, weapons raised. "Now, be good kids and drop your weapons and get the hell out. You're not welcome here."

Her presence alone should have been enough to make even the strongest warrior falter. Her appearance alone a tale of nightmares.

Slitted purple eyes that looked directly into your soul, eating at it until there was nothing left but pure obedience. Five horns jutting out of her skull, two from her jaw, one in her forehead, two at the back and two on the side curling to frame her face, all adorned by gold and precious stone. Sharp claws at the end of each hand, sharper than any man made object. Scales protected her most vital parts, covering her throat and her stomach, continuing down to her spiked tail. Two sets of wings protruded from her back, capable of creating strong gusts of wind.

Truly, these people were idiots.

"There it is, this is the monster I was telling you about," the knight yelled out, voice breaking at the word monster. His sword was pointed in Sasha's direction.

"What do we do? I wasn't prepared for this," the archer croaked out.

Sasha let the scene play out. If they wanted to bicker amongst themselves before they attempted to fight her, they could go right ahead. Nothing she hadn't seen before.

The gunslinger moved their finger to the trigger of their handgun, ready to fire at a moment's notice. "Isn't that obvious? We fight!"

Points for enthusiasm, that one.

"I'll back you up!" The mage proclaimed enthusiastically, the gem on their staff glowing.

That one was Sasha's biggest concern. A mage could potentially turn the situation dire, and as such, needed to be taken out first.

The rogue didn't say a word. Wise. Sasha had to respect that.

"Foul beast, I will claim your head for all of the lives you have taken." The knight had the gall to come up with ludicrous accusations.

It was time.

Sasha's eyes glowed, taking in every minute detail of what she could observe. Trees lined the clearing of the settlement, plenty of flat ground with a few stones that could serve as cover. The knight front and centre, the archer at the far back with the mage, gunslinger, and rogue on the second line.

"Foolish humans." Sasha played along with their little roleplay of big bad dragon versus innocent little humans. "Such insolence. I shall burn you on the very ground you stand on."

The first shot barely missed Sasha's head, too quick to dodge out of the way with four other assailants on the way.

"Divine protection!" The mage's first spell enveloped the knight, who is running headfirst at Sasha.

The rogue disappeared from her sight into the greenery to hide. The archer pulled back, letting the first set of arrows loose.

With one flap of her wings, Sasha was airborne, away from any immediate threat. Heat gathered in her throat, spilling out of her mouth in a sea of flames. None of her assailants were hit, saved by the mage in the back.

She had to go.

Sasha swung her tail at the mage, shattering the shield the mage had put up to protect herself. An arrow hit one of her wings as she swung her tail once again. Shield after shield broke on impact, the mage forced to retreat a couple steps every time, until she couldn't anymore. Back against a tree, Sasha's tail cut through her stomach, severing her in half.

Her party members must be horrified, Sasha laughed to herself. They wanted a monster, and here she was. Their screams were static to Sasha's ears, their words muffled by the bloodlust that had awakened in her.

The arrows and bullets were immune to the whirlwind she created with her wings, breaking through the scales. A smart choice to take away her ability to fly, she had to give them that. The knight stood in the middle of the clearing, too shocked to move as his team members frantically tried to kill Sasha.

Not satisfied with how things were going, Sasha morphed into her true form. With sheer size and power on her side, it would be a manner of seconds until she stood victorious.

Sasha hurled fireballs at the gunslinger and archer to stop their attacks, setting the ground ablaze. They had nowhere to run from a hell of their own creation. The small tears in her wings hindered Sasha's ability to fly straight, but that didn't matter. With one flap, the two of them crashed into the rocks with a hard thud.

Leaving only the knight and the rogue.

The knight had earned himself to be the victim of her teeth. He just stood there, transfixed. Fool. Sasha made her move, leaping at him, only to be stopped by invisible chains. No matter how much she willed her limbs to move, they defied her as the restraints got tighter. The knight disappeared as panic took over.

She couldn't move. But how?

That was a question Sasha had had to ponder for several decades, as a blade struck her heart, locking her in time and place.

[obaewankenobis]

for forever — obi-wan kenobi

pairing(s)  :  obi-wan kenobi x reader ( mostly focused on obi-wan’s character, not the relationship because i am a hoe for this man )

summary  :  after the fall of the jedi order, you can finally be together. alternatively, obi-wan needs therapy/deserves happiness.

word count  :  2.1k

warning(s)  :  character death, a bit of angst i guess but it’s mostly fluff.

notes   :  roughly edited so i apologize if things don’t make sense, i honestly came up with this on a whim and have No Idea what was going through my head when i wrote this. the povs also switch a lot but enjoy </3.

       The sand bit at his fair skin, the grainy winds of Tatooine ruffled through his auburn locks, peppered with strands of grey, as Obi-Wan Kenobi stood, rigid and grief stricken. Kind wrinkles framed his eyes, eyes weighed down by exhaustion and desolation, the memory of a thousand wars flickering in the brilliant blue reflection. Without speaking, the woman looking at him from afar knew he had suffered a lifetime of hardship and grief, his aching heart not given a moment to mourn the loss of those closest to him. The mahogany cloak billowed around his body, covering the burnt, tattered tan robes he wore, as the wind picked up, signaling there would be little time before the twin suns set and it was much too dangerous to be outside. Snuggled between the lone man’s arms, swathed in soft cream blankets to shelter him from the cruel and unforgiving weather, was a baby. With sea blue eyes and the sparse tufts of pale blonde hair, the newborn was the mirror image of his father — that in itself was bittersweet.

       Fire. That was all Obi-Wan could remember, the smoldering lava confining him and his enemy — once his friend, his brother — inside a tight circle of flashing blue and blazing rage. Now, things were blissfully quiet, as if the universe was trying to give him peace of mind after what it had taken from him. With heavy shoulders and hollow eyes, Obi-Wan was a shell of who he used to be: a great warrior and an excellent negotiator, all gone. His last mission was here, on Tatooine, to deliver the baby to his aunt and uncle: Owen and Beru Lars. Then, he would spend the rest of his years wasting away in a sandy prison, languishing in his defeat.

       “Is it true?” The woman from afar, who had taken to staring at him from a distance, finally approached him, awaiting his answer with bated breath — Beru. Is it true? The words reverberated in his head, as the reality came crashing down upon him. The woman in front of him needed certainty, she needed answers, answers Obi-Wan could not give her.

       “Yes,” came the final reply. Who knew a single word could hold such heavy meaning? Yes. An entire government who’s history spanned hundreds of years prior collapsed within a single day? Yes, that had happened. His religion, who he had devoted his entire life to and poured his soul into, gone? Yes, decimated without a sliver of mercy. The baby’s father, the hero of the galaxy, the crown jewel of the Jedi Order, killed? Yes, murdered in cold blood.

       Beru finally brought her attention to the boy nestled within the robes of the man. “Is he . . . ” She seemed to only speak in half questions, as if finishing the sentence would make it a harsh reality, and leaving the query to hang heavy in the air would somehow leave her life in a fairytale.

       “Yes,” he replied again, nearly choking on his words as the boy let out a tiny coo, as if he sensed they were discussing him.

       “Oh.” There was a pause, a flicker of hesitation, before the woman decided to continue her pattern of half inquiries to form her own story. “May I?” With shaking arms, Beruu reached forward to take the boy from Obi-Wan’s grasp and welcome the baby into her own warm embrace. Part of him didn’t want to let the child go, for once he did he would have no real connection to his past life. Letting go of the boy meant letting go of everything, from his first steps in the Temple, to his meeting with his apprentice on Naboo, to the countless, sleepless nights in a war torn galaxy, it would all be gone. The woman’s tender smile and patient gaze was nearly patronizing, she was trying to sympathize with something she couldn’t possibly understand. No one could. A wave of fury washed over him, trapping him in a cage of his own emotions. Obi-Wan had never felt such an intensity roll over his body, preferring to keep his temperament a tranquil, emotionless pit. But this raw, uncontrollable fury was soon washed out with an even more overpowering bout of sorrow, shaking him with such force it made his knees wobble and threaten to give way. For over thirty years he was taught emotions were the enemy, by being detached and aloof he would survive, and look where that had gotten him.  

      Another soft cry from the baby jerked Obi-Wan back into the present moment, as his tiny arms reached for the woman, drawn to her sunny kindness and comforting aura; he realized a place to call home or a comforting shoulder to cry on was never something he could offer as the baby grew older. The woman made a small clicking sound with her tongue, looking up at Obi-Wan with an expectant gaze, and yet his grip on the baby remained the same. Although his mind seemed desperate to listen to logic, to reason, his body remained motionless, following the dull ache and painful longing in his heart. The battle between his mind and emotions lasted a fraction of a second, and at last, as it had time and time again, his mind won.

       Like he had done all his life, selflessly sacrificing himself for thee good of the galaxy, he let go.

     The woman took the baby in her arms, and began her journey back to her homestead, pausing just slightly to exchange one last parting smile and a word of comfort. “I think someone wants to see you, Master Kenobi.” With that, Beru began walking, a happy baby in her arms, to her husband, just as the sky merged from clear blue to salmon pink and hazy orange, the twin suns beginning to disappear over the horizon rapidly. As the light dimmed and dusk settled in, the man could make out the shadowy figures of Beru and Owen Lars, holding Luke Skywalker in unmoving content.

       Here to see me? Obi-Wan frowned, reflecting on the woman’s words. This was not his home, his very identity was supposed to remain a secret, who could possibly want to see him? Unless . . .

       No, that was impossible. He had mourned your death just as he had mourned every other Jedi’s death the moment their own clones turned against them, and he would not allow even a tiny sliver of hope to crawl its way back into his heart. Because in the end, he could only cling to the belief that things would get better, and false hope in such a desperate time would be his undoing.

—

       You wondered how long you could stand in the shadows before he noticed you, standing awkwardly by his dewback as he delivered Padmé and Anakin's son to his new family. Like Obi-Wan, you had suffered the loss of everything and everyone you knew, your entire life destroyed in the span of a second, and all you could do was stand there, watching everything burn. The Jedi robes you once wore with pride, robes that were once a symbol of humility and hope across the galaxy, now put a priceless bounty on the head of anyone who wore them.

       “Obi-Wan?” The name was dry in your throat, mouth parched and lips cracked due to the harsh Tatooine heat.

       Though he was always subtle, you could see his entire demeanor change, the way his shoulders became straighter, the way his hands, once balled up into fists of worry, were now relaxed and laying loosely at his side. In a moment, he had turned around and closed the distance between the two of you, caramel boots growing dull and scuffed as he stepped through the unforgiving desert surface beneath him. “You’re alive,” his voice came out in a hushed, cautious tone, disbelief still tainting the edges. “I thought — Yoda and I — the only ones left — ” his words grew more jumbled with each passing phrase that left his lips.

       “But I’m here. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere,” you cut him off, the calm gentleness of your tone making him stop in his tracks. Slowly, each movement pained and deliberate, you stepped closer, inching your way forward until he was right in front of you. Neither of you could look away; with the Jedi Order dead, there was no reason to hide in secrecy now.

—

       To realize he was not alone was comforting, but to know it was you he could seek company in was freeing. In that moment, with the distance so close between your bodies, Obi-Wan dared not breathe, his eyes fluttering shut as he let out the smallest of breaths — this was all he had ever wanted, and still, despite everything, it was something he believed he could never have.

       He wouldn’t allow himself to believe it. Not after he spent all those years repressing the desire that burned so deeply within him it began to rot within his heart, trapped with no release in sight. At one point, he had every reason to deny the yearning stirring within him, but now? Now there was no war, no Council, no code, no nothing to stop himself from unleashing decades of pent up turmoil within him.

       And stars, it was suffocating.

       He couldn’t do this.

       “You know you don’t have to push me away any more.” A suggestion more than a factual statement; voice thick and barely audible.

       Was this a dream, a fantasy meant to be chased after in his sleep? Or some sick, twisted premonition the Force was trying to convey to him? So many nights he had spent languishing in his loneliness, dazed in a delusion that remained but a figment of his imagination.

       “I know.”

       “What?”

       “The Jedi are no more. We . . . We don’t have to pretend we don’t have  — ” The words were bittersweet on his tongue; even with no one there to watch and scold him, he could not betray his way of life so easily. That everyone I have ever loved, I have watched die in my arms? And throughout all of that, I have never been tempted by the dark side, but if I lost you, I would be afraid of my own morality? Those were not easy thoughts to formulate into a coherent sentence — there were no words Obi-Wan could say that would even begin to describe how he felt.

       Instead, in a tender gesture of vulnerability, he reached out through the Force, and all at once it came crashing down on him.

       This feeling . . . it was all consuming, and he was drowning, struggling to keep his head above water and not surrender to its frosty depths. He was submerged in an endless stretch of icy ocean water so frigid and numbing, that he felt nothing and everything all at once. It was terrifying to think — and let you know — you held so much power over him, but in the same instance, he felt at peace, like a weight he had dragged around for decades was finally lifted off his shoulders. I love you, rang as bright as the city lights on Coruscant and as clear as a Nabooian waterfall. I love you.

       “I love you, too.” He heard your voice in a soft whisper, swelled up with emotion as you took in everything. Chills erupted down his spine; he couldn't quite tell if it was from the inky blanket being tugged across the sky as dusk descended into nightfall, or if it was the four word phrase that left your lips.

—

       “I cannot live without you,” Obi-Wan let out a shaky exhale, breath fanning across your face just slightly, your foreheads making contact in the lightest movements. You felt dizzy, in a dreamlike trance, for you had never been this close to him. You could see every horror he had survived in his glassy blue eyes, notice every perfect imperfection that blemished his skin and made him all the more real. In a moment, his face had become blurred as he closed the distance and finally, finally, his lips were on yours, and you connected in a long awaited, eternally sought after kiss. You could feel his hands, calloused but gentle, cupping your face, as your own fingers found their way to the nape of his neck, the kiss grew more fervent and needy, every rule you had ever lived by crumbling as you melted deeper into his touch.

       After a long moment, you broke away, breathless, your face still tantalizingly close to his.

       “I will never leave you, Obi-Wan,” your lips parted in a determined vow, a promise you would keep to your dying breath. The Jedi were dead, and yet you never felt more alive.

[laurenairay]

Decorating Disaster - J.Markstrom

Summary: what could go wrong with a little competitive holiday baking with your boyfriend Jacob?

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: some bad language, a lot of cute fluff, too much glitter…and he’s on the Flames. Sorry K 😅

A/N: fully in my winter holiday feelings! ❄️ This one is for @danglesnipecelly​ – I hope it warms your grinchy heart 😘

*

“Hey älskling, are you busy?”

You looked up from the magazine you were reading at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice, shaking your head with a smile. You’d only been reading it in the first place because Jacob had popped out to the grocery store – but now he was back…with multiple bags?

“What are you planning?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at his big grin.

“Nothing!” he said cheerfully, pecking a kiss to your cheek as he whirled past you into the kitchen.

Okay now you knew he was up to something.

“I don’t believe you in the slightest,” you teased, hopping up on the counter as he put the bags down next to you.

“You wound me!” he gasped, clutching dramatically at his chest, making you giggle, “I just thought we could do some baking together this morning,”

What?!

“Baking. You want to bake,” you said dryly.

“Yeah! It’s a fun holiday activity to do together!” Jacob grinned, ignoring your confused expression as he started to rustle through the grocery bags.

You put your hand on top of his to stop him. Seriously, what is he doing?

“J, you don’t even like baking. You purposely steered clear of the kitchen when I made pepparkakor with your mom last year. Why do you really want to do this?” you mused.

Jacob’s grin faded, and he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. Hah, you knew there was a real reason.

3…

2…

1…

“Tanny told the Flames about my last disaster baking attempt and they were all teasing me – I told them that I’d been practicing with you and I was way better than him now,” Jacob admitted.

What a little liar!

“But you haven’t been practicing with me,” you pointed out, trying to stop a grin spreading across your lips.

“Yeah I know…Tanny didn’t believe it either, and he said that I should prove it. Gio turned it into a team group challenge as bonding…but I need to do this!” Jacob sighed.

“So you want to bake…because of a dare?” you snickered, “to save a reputation that is a lie?”

Men. Seriously.

Jacob just grinned, nodding at you. And then that grin turned into a hopeful smile. Oh no. Absolutely not.

“Ohhhh no, count me out,”

“Please? There’s no way Tanny and the others won’t have help too!” Jacob pleaded, “I already know that Elias and Annica are planning on making cookies together!”

Damn those puppy dog eyes.

And if it would make Jacob feel better in front of the team…

“Fine, you ridiculous man. Let’s do some holiday baking,” you sighed fondly.

Jacob whooped and scooped you up off the kitchen counter in his arms, swinging you around in a circle, making you squeal. When he eventually put you back down on your feet, he pressed a firm kiss to your lips, making you lose your breath even more. Wow. Yeah, anything for him, if that was the reaction you’d get.

“Thank you älskling. This is going to be fun, I promise!” Jacob grinned.

“I believe that when I see it,” you giggled.

Now that this was a competition, rather than the fun activity he had initially suggested, you knew Jacob was going to be a nervous mess. There was no way this was ending well. But hey, it would be good teasing material, if nothing else.

“I thought we could do gingerbread men? That way we can get extra points for decoration,” Jacob suggested, “I would’ve said gingerbread people, but there was only the male stencil cutter at the store,”

Fair enough.

“Very strategic, I like it,” you teased.

To be fair, it was a good plan. And meant you could get more creative with it too. Jacob just blushed. “I picked up so many options at the store. Like, all of the decorating options. So there’s lots to choose from,”

“Let’s get the gingerbread going first – we can decide what decorations we’ll do when it’s in the oven,” you mused.

“See, this is why I need your help!” Jacob grinned.

You couldn’t help but grin back. So adorable.

“Alright, let’s find a recipe and get started…”

Making the actual gingerbread took so much longer than it should’ve done. It didn’t make things any easier that one of the ‘competition rules’ was that everything had to be filmed for judging by an impartial panel (aka coach, coach’s wife and the team nutritionist) – so there was way more pressure that you would’ve liked. Jacob almost didn’t sift the flour, would’ve resulted in lumpy batter if you hadn’t corrected him, and he very nearly put sea salt flakes in instead of sugar, which you only just about saved in time. Not to mention the pieces of egg shell he’d dropped in that you asked him to carefully take back out. Each time he looked a little more dejected at the mistakes he was making, but there was no way you were giving up on this. He wanted to do this together, so he was damn well sticking with it. Especially since you were in the competition video too – it was a matter of pride now.

Instead, you put his strong arms to good use in the mixing, which cheered him up a bit (and gave you some excellent eye candy, even if you were sure the video would catch you watching appreciatively), and in the end the dough didn’t turn out looking too bad. After cutting out the figures using the shapes that Jacob had bought, you put the gingerbread men on the trays and into the ovens. And you made sure to set a timer when they were finally in the oven. If they burnt at this point, you thought you would actually cry.

“Is it time to decide on decorations now?” he asked hopefully.

“Definitely!” you nodded.

Jacob grinned and quickly washed his hands before sitting down at the kitchen table, making you laugh. You washed your hands and joined him, Jacob pressing a quick kiss to the top of your head that made you blush.

“So the gingerbread men will need to be in the oven for 15 minutes, then we take them out and let them cool in the pans for 10 minutes, before turning them out onto those wire racks you found to cool completely,” you explained.

“And then we decorate?”

You rolled your eyes fondly at your boyfriend, nudging his shoulder, earning a nudge back. “Yes, then we decorate. Although with all of this stuff you bought, I have no idea where to start,”

Like, seriously. There were so many little packets of candy as well as tiny little piping bags of colourful icing (that must’ve come from a kit) – honestly way too much stuff – but just one look at Jacob’s face showed you that he had a plan. Oh this should be fun.

“I was thinking…the colourful chocolate buttons for their tummies, with the blue, green, red and yellow icings for their shorts which we can then pair with the matching edible glitter on top. And then gummy drops for the eyes, with a white icing smile?”

The hopefulness in Jacob’s voice meant there was no way you were countering any of that – and as it was, it all sounded like a great plan.

“Shall I do the icing parts, and then you do the placement of all the candy plus the glitter?” you suggested.

“Sounds like a plan!” he grinned.

The two of you washed up the mess that you had made so far while you waited for gingerbread to cook, only devolving into a water fight once, ending in some sweet slow kisses (that Jacob promised would be edited out of the video before it was shown to the team), and by the time the gingerbread men were cool enough, you could tell Jacob was getting impatient.

“Remember take it slow and steady – they need to look good so you win the competition,” you murmured into his ear, quietly so the camera wouldn’t pick it up.

Jacob blushed slightly but nodded, counting the candy into piles as you started the first of the icing. To be honest, they looked alright. Nothing was burnt, they were all the same size and shape, and they smelled amazing. So you were happy – they were going to taste good at least! And with your little line process with Jacob doing separate tasks to you, the decorating was taking on good shape.

But there was one thing that you were worried about. The edible glitter. Everyone knows that glitter is almost impossible to get rid of if it spills anywhere, and with Jacob’s track record, you were hesitant. But he was so excited about adding that extra winter magic to the gingerbread men that you ignored your concerns and let him get on with it. It would be fine, right?

Time to put your nerves to the test. Jacob yanked on the lid of the edible glitter, but it wouldn’t budge. As he gripped the vial and the cap with both hands, pulling as hard as he could, you felt a bad omen coming over you. But before you could say anything, the cap suddenly flew off of the glitter vial…

…and the glitter exploded everywhere.

You burst into laughter, burying your face in his shoulder at the astonished look on his face. Glitter was all over his hands, shirt, jeans, the floor and the poor gingerbread man. Holy shit.

“Oh my god,” he gasped, eyes wide.

You were still giggling as you sat upright, tears at the corners of your eyes. How did you not see this coming?

“We can still save this little guy,” you choked, picking up the figure and tapping the excess glitter off of him onto the table, “and luckily you bought so much glitter that we still have another couple of vials,”

“I’m not going to live this down, am I?” he sighed, although the laughter in his eyes made you feel better.

“Probably not, that’ll probably make some kind of bloopers reel at the very least,” you grinned, “But it was only the first one, so there’s plenty of time to make up for it!”

Jacob just grinned back at you, pecking your lips in a kiss before standing up. “I’ll go wash up, and we can try again?”

“Sounds good to me,” you nodded.

Even if your gingerbread men didn’t win the competition, even if the team teased Jacob for the glitter explosion, you wouldn’t trade these memories for anything. This was going to be a holiday time to remember forever, you just knew it.

[daleisgreat]

Speed

Today’s entry will mark the first official 4K home video release I am writing about. I already own a few other 4K UHDs, and a couple of months ago, I watched my first 4K video at home with 2001’s The Fast and the Furious. However, I already covered that movie’s BluRay release here several years ago, so I will not be dedicating another entry for it, other than to say that the 4K upgrade pops and makes it look like a new release. Today’s entry is for 1994’s Speed (trailer). Before diving into this movie, I noticed one of the tracks from this film’s score repeatedly used throughout sounds awfully like one of the main themes I primarily associated with the Metal Gear Solid franchise. I have no idea if this was pointed out before, and I just overlooked it all these years, or maybe I am grasping at straws. Click or press here to take a listen and decide for yourself. 1994 was a hell of a year for Hollywood movies primarily transpiring from a highway with The Chase, Speed, and the OJ Simpson Bronco chase….oh wait (although I highly recommend the ESPN 30 for 30 on it, simply titled: June 17th 1994). The majority of Speed has a straightforward premise: serial bomber and local madman Howard Payne (Dennis Hopper) planted a bomb on a bus rigged to explode once the bus drops below 55 miles per hour. Police officer Jack Traven (Keanu Reeves) is alerted to this by the bomber himself to exact revenge on Traven after successfully rescuing hostages from an elevator Payne armed at the beginning of the film.

From there, for the middle hour of this nearly two-hour film, the action almost entirely takes place on the bus. Traven makes a grand entrance onto the bus by commandeering a Jaguar and having its owner (Glenn Plummer) take the wheel so Traven could heroically leap onto the bus and save the day. It would not be that easy of a rescue mission as Payne has eyes on the bus, and Traven has to play by his rules and get him his $3 million ransom to disarm the bus. Without question, the middle hour on the bus is the best part of the film. The opening half-hour is an excellent appetizer with the elevator hostage crisis that Traven and his partner, Harry (Jeff Daniels), successfully foil. However, once the action shifts to the bus is when Speed takes off. Shortly after taking control of the bus, one of the passengers freaks and inadvertently shoots the bus driver, and a fellow passenger, Annie (Sandra Bullock), takes over the wheel. Throughout the film, Annie and Traven have wonderful chemistry, and I could not help but root for the duo throughout. Every couple of minutes, there is a new potential conflict to overcome to keep the bus going over 55mph. The film wisely peppers in brief dialog exchanges to let the movie breathe just enough before the next hurdle makes itself present.

The film's standout moment is the major obstacle for the bus to overcome when it encounters a stretch of unavoidable highway under construction and missing a hearty chunk of the road. Traven’s solution is that since that stretch of a road is on an incline, they may clear that gap if they build up enough speed! That epic stunt hits all the right notes, and I got goosebumps all over again re-watching it, and odds are, I bet you did too if you have seen this movie. If you have not, then watch this scene and see for yourself by click or pressing here. A lot of the critical discussion in the aftermath of this movie was if that jump was realistically possible. The best thing I can do is to compare it to another film, Road Trip, which is likely a better indicator of what could happen when attempting such a feat. Once the middle bus portion of the film is over, there are still about 20 minutes left where Traven tracks and chases down Payne in a subway station. The movie felt over once the bus portion had such a satisfying conclusion that it almost feels wrong to keep sticking with the film by this point, but I recommend you do since there is a satisfying payoff in the form of Payne’s demise. I have to share a story now when I first saw this film at around 13 or 14 on VHS. My dad’s VCR had what seemed to me at the time was a revolutionary feature where if I kept pressing the pause button repeatedly, it would slowly, frame-by-frame, play the film in super slow-motion. At that age, I thought this was a fantastic way to get the most out of the biggest stunts in action scenes. My favorite moment exploiting this feature was seeing Traven and Payne wrestle around on the top of a subway train until Payne was not watching his field of vision, and a warning light lead to his sudden beheading. I slow-motion replayed that sequence countless times in my awkward, early teenage years. Suffice it to say, Hopper plays the out-of-his-mind bomber perfectly, going so far as to make sure he receives his appropriate cinematic comeuppance.

The director ensures the many passengers on the bus maximized their minutes to the point I where it feels like you are right there with them!

Two audio commentaries are the only extra features of the 4K disc in this 4K/BluRay combo pack. One is with the director, Jan de Bont, and the other is with producer Mark Gordon and writer Graham Yost. Props are to whoever decided to subtitle the commentary tracks. I very much appreciate it! I first started to bounce back and forth between the two commentary tracks, but Bont was way too relaxed and had too many pauses to hold my attention, and I finished up with his track within five minutes. However, Yost and Gordon are very much engaged from beginning to end and have fun cracking jokes and sharing memories throughout. Some quick takeaways I got from them were how they wanted to film a major scene outside of a sports arena, dealing with critics poking holes at how unrealistic their stunts were, and how watching the movie felt very different at the time of the commentary recording just two months after 9/11. The BluRay disc contains the remainder of the bonus features. Inside Speed is a four-part feature lasting just under an hour breaking down the visual effects, stunts, and location sequences, but half of it also contains an HBO First Look special hosted by Dennis Hopper that hits all the right kinds of cheesy mid-90s EPK nostalgia that it is worth checking out. Aside from 12 minutes of extended scenes and a Billy Idol music video that seems totally off base with the tempo of the film, there are a couple of Action Sequences mini-features breaking down some of the stunts. I highly recommend watching the one dissecting how they did the bus jump, as it shows raw footage of what really happened when they shot it, and showed footage of some of the specific safety measures they instilled to make that stunt as safe as possible and had some eye-opening interviews with the stunt driver before and after.

After watching that old VHS copy nearly a dozen times, Speed wound up being one of my favorite action films I got burnt out early on and never bothered upgrading to a DVD or standalone BluRay. Watching it again in 4K all these years later breathed new life into it for me. I am not an expert at breaking down video quality by any means, but watching the 4K disc on my 4KTV gave the impression of this having far more current production values. The editors somehow managed to remove all the old film grain defects for a smooth 4K upgrade. If you have not seen Speed yet, then it has everything you could want out of a mid-90s action movie with explosions, gripping thrills and stunts, dramatic rescues, plenty of zinger one-liners…..and a Billy Idol theme song. Pardon me while I attempt my best Dennis Hopper impression here, “Pop quiz, hotshot, which 1994 blockbuster that takes place primarily on a bus is a perfect candidate for beer and popcorn movie night at home?” Other Random Backlog Movie Blogs 3 12 Angry Men (1957) 12 Rounds 3: Lockdown 21 Jump Street The Accountant Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie Atari: Game Over The Avengers: Age of Ultron The Avengers: Endgame The Avengers: Infinity War Batman: The Dark Knight Rises Batman: The Killing Joke Batman: Mask of the Phantasm Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Bounty Hunters Cabin in the Woods Captain America: Civil War Captain America: The First Avenger Captain America: The Winter Soldier Christmas Eve The Clapper Clash of the Titans (1981) Clint Eastwood 11-pack Special The Condemned 2 Countdown Creed I & II Deck the Halls Detroit Rock City Die Hard Dirty Work Dredd The Eliminators The Equalizer Faster Fast and Furious I-VIII Field of Dreams Fight Club The Fighter For Love of the Game Good Will Hunting Gravity Grunt: The Wrestling Movie Guardians of the Galaxy Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 Hell Comes to Frogtown Hercules: Reborn Hitman I Like to Hurt People Indiana Jones 1-4 Inglourious Basterds Ink The Interrogation Interstellar Jay and Silent Bob Reboot Jobs Joy Ride 1-3 Justice League (2017 Whedon Cut) Last Action Hero Major League Mallrats Man of Steel Man on the Moon Man vs Snake Marine 3-6 Merry Friggin Christmas Metallica: Some Kind of Monster Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpions Revenge National Treasure National Treasure: Book of Secrets Nintendo Quest Not for Resale Old Joy Payback (Director’s Cut) Pulp Fiction The Punisher (1989) The Ref The Replacements Reservoir Dogs Rocky I-VIII Running Films Part 1 Running Films Part 2 San Andreas ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery Scott Pilgrim vs the World The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Shoot em Up Slacker Skyscraper Small Town Santa Steve Jobs Source Code Star Trek I-XIII Sully Take Me Home Tonight TMNT Trauma Center The Tooth Fairy 1 & 2 UHF Veronica Mars Vision Quest The War Wild The Wizard Wonder Woman The Wrestler (2008) X-Men: Apocalypse X-Men: Days of Future Past

[fearsmagazine]

CEREBRUM - Review

DISTRIBUTOR: Glasshouse Distribution.

SYNOPSIS:  In order for Tom to make ends meet he returns to his childhood home in Texas  and signs on as a test subject at his father’s, Kirk, home-based lab. Along with his father’s assistant Bhuvanesh, Kirk is attempting to finalize a technology that will allow him to backup the human brain. When Tom commits a crime he cannot remember, he  risks his own sanity to reveal the truth and finish what his father began with the help of his childhood friend Chloe.

REVIEW: It’s interesting how as technology has developed the future of brain research and the journey into the human mind has impacted science fiction. In 1983’s “Brainstorm” there was a tap device that could record the human brain and be used by another person to experience the playback. In the 1990 adaptation of the Philip K. Dick shorty story “We Can Remember It For You Wholesale” into “Total Recall” there is a massive computer device that can alter and implant memories to reshape an individual’s grasp of their reality. Brandon Cronenberg’s (yes, David’s son) 2020 film “Possessor” deals with a secret government agency that has the ability to use brain-implant technology to inhabit other people's bodies in order to achieve their objectives undetected. Many of these films rely on flashy production designs and visually impressive looking futuristic technology to tell their stories.

Arvi Ragu’s CEREBRUM features some interesting looking technology that is grounded in a design that feels like the not so distant future. When you consider all the great American inventors, many of whom looked like, or they did indeed, work out of their homes or garages, such as Edison or the Hewlett-Packard (HP) company. Tom’s father Kirk is working out of his garage with a technology that interfaces with skin contact, much in the same way many devices we use today have apps that keep track of many of our health stats. The data that his technology collects is stored on these small discs that are put into a device that can be worn on the wrist. That information can then transform the wearer into the person whose data it is, but for a limited time. The whole research and implementation foundation he lays out seems practical and allows the view to go along for the ride.

Ragu works with a talented cast to tell his sci-fi thriller. Veteran actor James Russo adds this edge and gruffness to a character that we rarely see. Also, he’s not a “mad scientist,” but he is driven by the tragedy of what happened to his wife, Tom’s mother, to develop this technology. Most of all, he comes across as the “every man,” with a lack of perfection when it comes to his relationships and his shortcomings. Christian James plays his son Tom. There are some great scenes with him and Russo, as well as those with his co-star Alexxis Lemire. The chemistry sells the drama and adds to the tension and mystery of the tale.

In terms of the cinematography, costume designs, and other production designs, Ragu takes it in a different direction from what we normally expect from this type of story. By setting it in Texas, the film has a lot of browns, deep reds, and burnt orange to overlook that makes it feel more like a western then a sci-fi film. In the overall context of the narrative it works and makes for an engaging view.

The film’s climax makes these big leaps in what could easily have become a shell game or three card monte trick. I was afraid that it might become a bit confusing but Ragu does an amazing job of keeping it on point and delivers a clean and satisfying resolution. Given the circumstances the viewer early on knows that Tom is innocent for a variety of reasons, but the mystery of who actually did it keeps the viewer engaged.

CEREBRUM is the feature film directorial debut of Arvi Ragu. He delivers a soldi sci-fi thriller with an impressive narrative and some breathtaking and unexpected visuals. He does an excellent job of using the sci-fi elements to lay the foundations for the thriller aspect of the story, and successfully weaves in these character elements that we’d find in a solid drama about family and personal relationships. It’s an extremely satisfying view that probably looks even more amazing on a big screen. There are a couple of imperfections in the film, but they fail to detract from the overall quality of the film and my enthusiasm to experience Ragu’s next film.

CAST: Christian James, Alexxis Lemire, James Russo, John Ruby, Anirudh Pisharody. CREW: Director/Screenwriter/Producer - Arvi Ragu; Screenplay - Gary D. Houk; Producers - Siraj Narsi, Anirudh Pisharody, & Jill Von Dae; Cinematographers - Jakob Lofberg & Ron McPherson; Score - Edward Antonio; Editor - Jon Blaze; Production Designer - Sonja Kroop; Costume Designer - Nina Fuller. OFFICIAL: www.cerebrummovie.com FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/cerebrummovie/ TWITTER: N.A. TRAILER: https://youtu.be/576CiN7Uozc RELEASE DATE: On Demand May 4th, 2021

**Until we can all head back into the theaters our “COVID Reel Value” will be similar to how you rate a film on digital platforms - 👍 (Like), 👌 (It’s just okay),  or 👎 (Dislike) Reviewed by Joseph B Mauceri

[beauty-grace-outer-space]

1 and 9?

1. what is/was school like for you?

School was apparently stupidly easy throughout elementary school. In kindergarten, I’d finish the work before the teacher finished explaining the assignment because I could read faster than she could talk, and then I’d want to help the others or go do something else. They had a counselor come sit in on the class to observe me after a while (and the teacher complaining) and he promptly informed everyone that he was absolutely certain that I had ADHD, and that the solution was not to medicate me or switch classes, but for the teacher to step it up and keep me engaged. 

After that, they wanted to move me to third grade, but I was only five years old so instead, I did first grade half in English, half in Japanese. But the Japanese teacher really did not like me (because I was younger than the other students) and despite doing well in the class, she refused to teach me. She called me “the baby” and made me sit off to the side and “play” instead of lessons most of the time. Halfway through the year, they moved me back to an all English first-grade class, and I had the meanest teacher I’ve ever had. I got in trouble a lot. 

In second grade, my teacher was a gem and instated a rule that I could move around however I wanted, and sit in whatever position I wanted... as long as I could touch my desk. She incorporated singing into the lessons, which I found fascinating, and had a lot of student participation which helped. I have been reliably informed that this was the point when other students started to bully me, but I have very little or no memory of it. I asked a friend about it once, and she has vivid memories of it all. When I asked her why, she said, “People thought you were really weird”. I just said, “I am really weird.” 

In third grade, my teacher gave out “points” for good behavior, and had a separate area of the classroom for play once work was finished. She kept legos and other fun toys on hand which was great, and I started trying to build up good behavior points to buy little gifts for my mom in the student store. That year, I made student of the month for the first time and cried. 

In fourth grade, I broke my wrist and the boy next to me got mono so I sat alone most of the year. My teacher liked to read to us from The Hobbit or the Chronicles of Narnia. Not many memories from that year. 

In fifth grade, my teacher was a tiny amazing woman who encouraged me to write stories once I had finished my work. My friends and I formed an author’s club and a book club, and that’s when I really started writing in my free time. 

Sixth grade was the first year I had multiple teachers (in middle school you change classes). It’s also the first year I remember struggling with math. 

Past that point, it’s really hit or miss. Sixth grade was the year I was formally diagnosed with OCD and major depressive disorder. It’s very common for folks with ADHD to hit a breaking point and suddenly struggle immensely, and most of my memories of middle school are of sitting at the dining room table in tears, radio on in the background because I needed a dual focus point, trying desperately to do my math homework. 

For the first time in my life, I felt stupid. I had always been “the smart kid”, the “gifted child”. As I failed to comprehend basic math concepts, my self-esteem plummeted. Something in my brain interpreted this as a loss of control, and I started washing my hands until they bled. I started self-harming. I wasn’t sleeping well. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me, and all I could see was that everything I had ever thought myself to be was a lie, and everyone was going to be so disappointed that I failed to live up to all that supposed potential. 

My mom found me a therapist (whom I still see to this day). We figured out how to keep my hands from looking like desert battlegrounds. I joined student government, but for the first few years, people didn’t like me much. I made the National Honor Society but had to drop out in tenth grade because I couldn’t make an A in math class. I was on track for the College Prep. Honors diploma, but I missed it by (you guessed it) one math class. 

I found choir and theater, and I excelled in English. I struggled a lot, but I found my niche, and I threw myself into art subjects with everything I had. My graduated class was really small, so we all go to know each other really well and I got along well with basically everyone (though I was still very weird. I just knew how to own it and roll with it). 

I couldn’t afford a university (my family went through a really hard financial patch), so I applied for community college. I had a lot of angst about that because, at 17, it felt like failing somehow. (It’s not, and don’t let anyone tell you it is. Community college is dope, valid, and budget-friendly.) I did great in my classes... but bombed math. Totally failed it. Straight “F” for the first time in my life. And I burnt myself to the ground. 

In nine months I did six stage productions and 20 classes. I got to school around 7AM and left after midnight sometimes. Other unfortunate circumstances occurred (cough trauma cough) and I ended up leaving the school for a gap year, but I was suicidal and struggling a lot. 

A year later, I made it into my dream school and I moved out of state to attend. One of the first classes I had to take was a math class, and I was distraught. But something about this teacher, and the way he taught, and the type of math it was... it clicked. I passed the class with a B+, and it fulfilled my math requirement forever. I called my mom sobbing. 

I had a great first year, went back for the second... and burnt myself out again. More unfortunate circumstances occurred, and between the harassment, the social abuse, the verbally abusive director I had for the show I was in that year, and a roommate who wouldn’t speak to me, I burned myself out again. 

I dropped out after that year. It took five years to gather up the willpower to try again. Last year, I finished my degree via online classes. Somewhere in there, I stumbled upon ADHD characteristics and got curious. Asked my mom and turns out they had me unofficially diagnosed when I was five and no one informed me. They did their best to help things along, though. My mom interviewed and hand-selected my teachers where she could. The administrative staff was onboard to work with me instead of against me. I just had no idea. 

TL;DR: School was interesting, I had no idea I had ADHD and just kind of muddled along wondering why I was so weird/couldn’t shut up half the time. Gifted kid burnout, college blew up in my face, lots of mental health stuff and pain later, ta-da! AA. 

(If ya’ll could see the face Grammarly is making at me because of the tone and wording of this post... it’s like O_O-- “bitch is you ok?”). 

9. favorite stim / one you do most often?

I only very recently became aware that I stim. I’ve always done it, but again, I was not aware that I had ADHD until last year. Most common ones are leg bouncing and-- if I’m playing an instrument, reading, or thinking-- rocking. I do think there’s something to be said for... I don’t know how to say this and not make it weird, but... having something to chew/suck on? Because I bite the inside of my mouth a lot, and if I have a lollipop, I’ll first finish it, then chew on the stick, etc. but I won’t seek things out to... put in my mouth, if that makes sense? I also sing basically constantly if I’m alone. There are more, but they don’t come up as much. 

[obscureoldguy]

The Indian Bookseller And Past Lives

For years now I have had a strong belief in reincarnation. It began at age 18 when I first read “The Only Dance There Is” by Ram Dass.

For years I wondered what my immediately preceding past life might have been. At times I seemed to have had an inkling, a vague memory; but I was never fully sure.. There was always that doubt in the back of my mind that perhaps I had just made up a story for myself, at the direction of my ego.

And then one day of friend suggested to me that I might look into the possibility of a book on the subject of how one's past lives affect one's present life. This seemed like a excellent course of action to me, and so I decided to pursue it.

In the early 1970s, there was a wonderful café and bookstore known simply as “YES!” located in the section of Washington D.C. known as Georgetown, just off one of the old cobblestone side streets, which in those days, still contained the old street car trolley tracks.

The café served all organic, vegetarian foods, made on the premises; which was nice enough; but it was the bookstore that really attracted me. The entire building was a long rectangle, most of which was taken up by the bookstore. There were shelves from the floor to the 10 foot tall ceilings, with sliding ladders installed in order to reach the uppermost shelves.

The nicest feature of the dear old “YES!” bookstore by far though, was the fact that the long rectangular room had spacious rectangular sunroofs installed in the length of the ceiling, bathing the entire room in wonderful bright natural sunshine. Throughout the room were long comfortable padded benches, and as I remember, this wonderful bookstore always had a marvelous and exotic aroma within it from incense being burnt in some corner of the room.

The YES! bookstore will always be dear to me because this is the book store where I discovered “A Course In Miracles”; a book which has changed my life in profound ways. It was here also, at YES! that I purchased many a book by Ram Dass, as well as by Alan Watts. It was just a wonderful place to go! How I miss it now.

And so it was the YES! bookstore in Georgetown to which I went in search of a book to help me with my studies of my past lives.

I remember I spent a while perusing shelf after shelf in search of a book which addressed the topic I was interested in, but I could find nothing.

Finally I decided to ask for help; and wearing my old ragged bell bottom jeans, my purple billowy sleeved shirt and my Afghan sheepherder’s vest, I schlepped on over to the checkout counter where there stood a very impressive looking East Indian gentleman, with the archetypical salt-and-pepper long gray beard, and a beautiful large turban upon his head. He was busy unpacking boxes of new books, and recording their numbers into a ledger.

As I approached him he looked up at me with a wonderful wide friendly face, and deep warm eyes which seemed to be spilling fourth wisdom and gentleness.

“May I help you sir?” He asked me. His voice did not disappoint: it was the most melodious, thickly accented, archetypically Indian voice. I asked of him;

“Yes; I was wondering if you might have a book here on the subject of what the effect of one's past lives has on one's present life?”

He instantly looked at me with a quizzical look, and then asked me in his thick Indian accent;

“Tell me something: why is it that all of you Americans are so obsessed with your past lives? All of your past lives have led you to this life! This is the life that matters, not your past lives!”

I believe he could immediately see how completely astonished I was at his question- both because of its absolute truth, and also because of the supreme irony that such an archetypically East Indian man, who looked and sounded for all world just like the archetypical guru; should be asking me such an ironic question. Without waiting for a response from me, he quickly continued,

“Oh never mind, yes, I have such a book; please follow me.” And he took me directly to the volume in question, and then I purchased it!

[john-taylor-daily]

Full text of the article:

Want to feel really old? Oh, go on then. Duran Duran turn 40 this year: the band, that is, not the members. For them it’s worse: Simon Le Bon is 61, John and Roger Taylor, each 59, and Nick Rhodes, the baby, 57.

As you would expect of a pop group who always appeared happiest hanging off a yacht in ruffled Antony Price suits, accessorised with a supermodel and a cocktail, they intend to celebrate in style, coronavirus permitting. So the plan, announced this week, is that on July 12, exactly 40 years since their first gig at the Rum Runner in Birmingham, they will perform in Hyde Park, headlining a bill that includes Nile Rodgers & Chic and their pal Gwen Stefani. Four of the original five will be there: the guitarist Andy Taylor, 59, left the band in 1985 and, after rejoining in 2001, walked out again five years later. In the past, the guitarist Warren Cuccurullo has filled in; this time Graham Coxon from Blur will take his place.

Then in autumn Duran Duran are releasing a new album, their 15th, which they are halfway through making.

Growing up in the West Midlands, I was a Duranie; my first gig was theirs at the NEC in Birmingham. To give an idea of the level of devotion, I had house plants named after each of them. John, his initials “JT” written on the pot in nail varnish, was a begonia; Rhodes, a busy lizzie; Le Bon, a rubber plant; Roger and Andy Taylor were cacti. My memory, foggy on so much, still holds the name of Nick Rhodes’s cat at the time (Sebastian). The household appliance “JT” would choose to be? “A refrigerator, so I would stay cool.”

But despite previous opportunities, I’ve avoided them bar an awkward backstage handshake with Le Bon. In the meantime, they have notched up record sales of 100 million, had 21 Top 20 hits in the UK and, unlike many bands who came to fame in the 1980s, they produce different, exciting, if not always lauded albums, working with new producers and musicians. They’ve had top five albums in each of the four decades they’ve worked. Their last album, Paper Gods (2015), produced by Mark Ronson and Rodgers, was their most successful for 25 years.

Now 46 and with no desire to anthropomorphise greenery, I meet Rhodes, the keyboardist, and John Taylor, the bass player, once described as having the squarest jaw in rock. Rhodes suggests his “local”, Blakes hotel in Chelsea, near the home he shares with his Sicilian girlfriend, Nefer Suvio (he and Julie Anne Friedman divorced in 1992; they have one child together, Tatjana). Taylor, just in from Los Angeles, home to his second wife, Gela Nash, who runs the fashion label Juicy Couture, invites me to his flat in Pimlico. Le Bon, still happily married to the supermodel Yasmin Le Bon with three grown-up daughters, is busy in the studio and Roger Taylor, four children and with second wife Gisella Bernales, is otherwise occupied.

Rhodes, who joins me in the bar at Blakes, has the same peroxide mop and alabaster skin that were always his trademark. He wears black trousers by the English designer Neil Barrett and a Savile Row jacket dressed down with a rock T-shirt from the Los Angeles company Punk Masters.

Four days later, I arrive at Taylor’s flat in a garden square where he greets me at the door dressed in black jeans and T-shirt, with sculpted bed-hair. I’m reminded of the time my brother splashed Sun-In on his to emulate Taylor’s bleached New Romantic fringe.

It’s good to have them back. They started on the new album in September at Flood Studios in Willesden, northwest London, and, as well as Coxon, have been working with three producers: Giorgio Moroder, Ronson and the DJ Erol Alkan. “The whole place is filled with analogue synthesizers, so it’s just joy for me,” says Rhodes, who began life as Nicholas Bates but renamed himself after a make of electronic keyboard.

Rhodes met Moroder — the “godfather of electronica” and the man behind Donna Summer’s I Feel Love — through a mutual friend of his girlfriend. “We talked about music and what had happened to us,” Rhodes says. “He is as sharp as a razor, 79 going on 45.” They worked with Ronson, who has produced Amy Winehouse and Adele, in LA. “The first thing Mark always says is, ‘Let me hear the rest of it,’” Rhodes says with a laugh. “He is quite competitive.”

Taylor, who leads me into a room that’s more gentlemen’s club than rock-star pad with an open fire, armchairs, brown furniture and bad Victorian paintings, says the break of five years has refuelled them. “We have to starve ourselves of creativity long enough that when we do show up we have something to say,” he says. “[The studio sessions] are quite exhausting because we have been down this road. We can finish each other’s sentences and I guess, to some extent, we can do that musically as well. We are working with the same cast; it’s like a soap opera. That’s why collaborators become so important as you need to keep the spirit lively.”

Rhodes, who says the new album is more “handmade” and “guitary”, explains the working dynamics: “John and Roger’s rhythm section often drives a track. Simon, the lyricist, gives all the songs our identity; it’s his voice that tells you it’s Duran Duran. My part has more to do with sonic architecture.” That may be the most Nick Rhodes phrase yet.

We move on to Andy Taylor. “Forty years ago we had Andy in the band and he was a strong flavour and a northerner and brought a rigour,” says John Taylor. “Filling that vacuum has always been one of the major challenges of version two of the band; we did it with Warren Cuccurullo and with Graham on this record. But it’s not the same. Andy didn’t mind telling people what they were doing wrong.”

He pauses. “We had a reunion with Andy [in 2001] and that was enormously difficult, actually.” How so? “That’s a book really,” says Taylor, who has written about the saga, along with his struggle with drink and drugs, in his excellent 2012 memoir In the Pleasure Groove. “Or it’s a mini-series.”

“It was very uncomfortable for us,” Rhodes says of Andy leaving in 1985. “For sure, it had become stressful over the previous year — we were all burnt out from not having stopped for five years — but we didn’t see it coming at all.”

What are relations with Andy like now? “I don’t really have any,” says Rhodes. “I haven’t seen him for many years since he left the last time. I was not even slightly surprised when it did fall apart. I was relieved. As much as Andy is a great musician he is not an easy person to play with.”

I mention to Taylor that Andy has just announced his own UK dates in May, playing Duran songs. “Uh-ha,” he says. He didn’t know. Does he mind? “I don’t mind at all. All power to him,” says Taylor. “I would rather he be out playing.”

Taylor has the sanguine air of someone who has spent decades nuking his demons (he’s currently working on guilt; he had a Catholic mother). He has been sober for 26 years after an addiction which in part led to the break-up of his marriage to the TV presenter Amanda de Cadenet in 1997. Was it hard at first? “It was like turning round an ocean liner,” he says, his voice posh Brum with a California chaser. “I work a daily programme and that’s what keeps me sober. It’s not something that just happens; it takes a lot of attention.”

We move on to the themes of the new, as yet untitled, album. Le Bon lost his mother recently, so we can expect songs inspired by loss. Taylor says he took inspiration from “the challenges of long-term relationships . . . Take a song like Save a Prayer, which personally I think is one of the greatest ever songs in praise of the one-night stand,” he says. “It comes to the point where you can’t write something like that. It’s not age-appropriate; yet it is sexy. So how do you write from the perspective of someone who is trying to keep a long-term relationship together? That is the challenge of any late-age pop star. How do you make it chic, to use one of Nick’s favourite words.”

It is hard to forget how impossibly chic Duran were in the 1980s: from their beginnings in Birmingham (Nick and John, anyway), where they met when Rhodes was 10 and Taylor 12, to a world of famous friends, beautiful partners and exotic travel. Le Bon married Yasmin after seeing her in Vogue, Rhodes was with the shipping heiress Friedman and Taylor the teenage de Cadenet. Andy Warhol was a close friend of Rhodes.

While others were singing about the dark side of Thatcher’s Britain, they were . . . more opaque. “In the 1980s a lot of what we did was somewhat misunderstood because we were living in the same gloomy years with high unemployment and miners’ strikes and civil unrest as everybody else,” Rhodes says. “But our answer to it was we have to get away from this and make it a little brighter because it didn’t seem like a particularly promising future.” Don’t expect that coronavirus torch song any time soon.

Their association with Bond — they wrote the 1985 theme A View to a Kill — only added to the glamour. What do they make of the new one by Billie Eilish? Rhodes admits that he mostly listens to classical music these days but “was thrilled to hear Billie Eilish. I think it’s by far the best Bond song since ours.”

But not better than yours?

“I am very happy that she reached No 1.” Duran’s got to No 2.

Taylor is more critical. “I thought it was lacking in a bit of Billie Eilish to be honest. It could have been madder. It was a little bit too grown up,” he says.

Is it as good as A View to a Kill?

“No!” says Taylor, theatrically. “Although,” he admits, “it was the most difficult three mins that we have ever produced.”

It had a great video, in which the boys slunk around the Eiffel Tower. Taylor frowns. “I hate that video. So stupid. I can’t watch it.” One for the fans, then.

A secret of their longevity, Rhodes says, is not bowing to nostalgia. “I like to keep my blinkers on and look forward.” Having said that, he sounds ready to write his own memoir. “I would do a book yes,” he says. “I haven’t read John’s on purpose. I even wrote a foreword for it for the US version without reading it, but I did own up to it. I think mine would be very different from a lot of the rock biographies. The one that sticks with me is David Niven’s.”

Rhodes featured in Warhol’s diaries and Warhol, the subject of a show at Tate Modern in London that opened this week, would surely feature in his. He “invented the 20th century”, Rhodes says. “Andy was making reality TV in the Sixties. Can you imagine what he would have thought about the internet? It was all his dreams come true, but he would never have got any work done.” Rhodes says he stays off social media for that reason. “It’s not that I don’t like it; I fear it. I am going down a rabbit hole I may never get out of.

They’ve spent twice the time being famous as being unknown. Are they the same people they were in Birmingham 40 years ago?

Rhodes nods. “Yes, yes,” he says. “There have been big changes — marriages, divorces, kids, moving countries in John’s case — but when we are all together we have known each other for so long there is no room for anyone to behave in a way that would be unacceptable. There is no room for divas. We have lasted longer than most marriages; it is like being married to three people but we each get to go home on our own every night.”

Taylor tells me: “Without getting into recovery talk, a lot of that is about scrubbing away the masks that you tend to accrue to cope, so I think I am as close to that person as I was 40 years ago.”

Rhodes says tolerance is the key. “Sometimes when I arrive at the studio it is really bright, maybe someone is writing, and so everyone accepts I can’t cope, and so the lighting comes down.” I tell him I once read he always wears dark glasses before noon. He laughs. “Pretty much. That’s funny. I am hyper-sensitive to light. It’s not just pretentiousness. “

They appreciate they will have to prepare physically for the dates. For Rhodes, a terrible insomniac, that means “fruit and vegetables and grains” and lots of walking. But no workouts (“I am not a big fan of gymnasiums”). Taylor says he needs to start practising bass and the need to get back in shape is “keeping him awake at night”. “I like to run, I do Pilates, I do yoga and I think about everything that enters my mouth, everything. I am 90 per cent vegan. I don’t drink, take mind-altering chemicals. I am on and off sugar.”

Perhaps the greatest sign that they still have it is that their children want to see them play. Taylor just heard from his daughter, Atlanta, who lives in New York and is soon to be married to David Macklovitch from the Canadian band Chromeo.

“It’s a surprise when you get a text from a child and they say, ‘You’re playing Hyde Park — my boyfriend and I want to come.’”

[boaws]

BOAWS Top Records of 2019

20 – Control Top – Covert Contracts (Get Better)

Sometimes you sit around and you try and think about what makes an album good or why you like it as much as you do and it's not entirely easy to narrow it down to one or two things. Usually there are some distinctive parts or sounds that strike me, but occasionally there are albums like Covert Contracts that bring together a number influences and pull them off quite nicely...and it just simply rips. I guess the three years between their debut EP and this first full-length were well spent refining whatever they were ingesting musically at the time, as what came out is a wild blast of post-punk that spans decades worth of sounds/eras that all fit along snugly next to one another on Convert Contracts. Is it going to reinvent the genre? Absolutely not. But is it kind of dance-able while also trying to smoothly hide that black eyeliner? Yup. It sure is. But it's also really good at doing it too. Control Top - Unapologetic (stream) BUY IT! 19 – Spotlights – Love & Decay (Ipecac)

Spotlights ride the fine line between post-metal and shoegaze, which I'm usually a little weary of because boy oh boy is there a lot of those bands and all those big riffs generally amount to a big old snoozefest. However, Spotlights caught my attention awhile back when their named popped up when playing alongside Hum on one of their many sporadic appearances. Turns out Spotlights weren't too shabby and their album Seismic was a bit of a winner too. They've since released their second album for Ipecac records and it takes the balance between the two aforementioned genres and toes that line even further. Love & Decay tweaks things a bit closer to the metal side of things, but still with some Midwestern flair and creativity in the realm of melody and definitely has the layers to appeal to the shoegaze crowd. Spotlights - Xerox (stream) BUY IT! 18 – Spit-Take – Falling Star (Dead Broke)

Spit-Take have been scattered around these pages plenty of times before, usually good for churning out two or three songs per release that make me appreciate them all that much more. Falling Star would mark their third full-length effort and it's about as consistent of a record that I've heard them release that sees them navigate though a pleasant balance of classic indie-rock/power-pop vibes while also throwing out some very Midwestern-ish clanky emo run throughs (“How”), which is usually always a good way to work your way into my memory. Short and sweet and available on both cassette and LP. Spit-Take - How (stream) BUY IT! 17 – VR Sex – Human Traffic Jam (Dais)

This is basically an alter ego of Andrew Clinco of Drab Majesty, wherein he typically goes by the alias of Deb Demure...here he opts for Noel Skum. I'm taking a guess that it's supposed to reflect the shift into a grimier/noisier side of the dreamy landscape that Drab Majesty typically inhabits. VR Sex contain much of the same undertones of something that Mr. Clinco would be associated with, remaining vastly catchy and rhythmic but now the game is a disassociated future where technology has apparently ruined society and now it gets darker, louder, and muddled in filth. Skum indeed. I'm not so sure the message is as conveyed as the presser would like one to believe, but I enjoy the tunes from a standpoint that it sounds like a slightly more modern Sisters of Mercy, Red Lorry Yellow Lorry or something along those lines. Not bad. I guess Human Traffic Jam will gain another level of appreciation years from now if it ends up hitting the nail on the head and we do in fact find ourselves in some type of Black Mirror episode. VR Sex - Sacred Limousine (stream) BUY IT! 16 – Cave In – Final Transmission (Hydrahead)

The trajectory for Cave In over the years has been one of the more interesting ones. Once a premier metalcore/hardcore band, they pulled the rug out from just about everyone and released their second album Jupiter, which sounded nearly like a different band...showcasing big hooks, melodies, and definitely a large infatuation with space-rock themes. I naturally loved it and was actually kind of excited for some reason when I saw that they had landed on a major label for their third album Antenna. Sadly it didn't go as planned and it was pretty much over after that album came and went without moving the needle a whole lot. Fast forward a handful of years following major label disappointment, the band suffers the tragic loss of bassist Caleb Scofield. The band had been in the process of recording/demoing for their first album in 8 years up until the point of his death and the recordings on Final Transmission are a collection of those. Andrew Schneider and James Plotkin did a nice job in smoothing out some of the rougher edges around what were mostly unfinished recordings, cause honestly I can't really tell in most places and the songs stand on their own for the most part. Final Transmission is, or likely would have been, an album that plants itself right in between Jupiter and Antenna, circling back to some of the spacey atmosphere and guitar tones that fed greatly into both of those albums sound. Possibly the album they would have made if RCA hadn't come knocking? Although it's unknown to me whether this is an actual final statement for the band, if it does indeed end up being that, it's a good'n. Cave In - Night Crawler (stream) BUY IT! 15 – The Bismarck – We Will Never Be Young Again (Self-Released)

The Bismarck have been around long enough to still have an actual website that hasn't been updated in years. As someone who still pays yearly hosting costs for some dumb reason and haven't quite convinced myself not to anymore, I guess I get it...but I know that's gotta be costly. The band is firmly in the PRF rock stable of bands, so that right there should give most of you an idea of what The Bismarck bring to the table. Over a run of what I think is five albums now, We Will Never Be Young Again seems to be an album that wants to prove defiant of its title, coming with full fire and energy and holy shit...anthems? Yeah. A song title like “Fuck You, Let's Boogie” certainly seems like something you could easily write off, but ends up being a bona fide gem of a tune. Solid album all the away around and if it ends up being to your liking, they have a rather deep catalog to pull from if curiosity strikes. The Bismarck - Fuck You, Let's Boogie (stream) BUY IT! 14 – Crumb – Jinx (Self-Released)

First album for the Brooklyn based Crumb and I'd thought I'd heard an EP or something before this, but upon further research, it would appear I hadn't. This introduction is fine enough anyway, wherein they combine that niche of slacker ethos that worked its way through a number of indie bands in the 90's and spin it with a chilled loungy/psych thing. Maybe a tinge of jazz influence here and there, but more or less it sticks to the poppy psych side of it all, leaving for a very breezy and smooth 28 minutes of music. The ambiance, or I guess mood, of Jinx is pretty heavy throughout, likely forcing the album to be something that is relegated to particular times of which it strikes just right, however when it does...it certainly works. Crumb - The Letter (stream) BUY IT! 13 – Razorlegs – Skip Skool (Self-Released)

Latest cassette from this improvisational noise/psych outfit, each side consisting of its own roughly 18 minute long descent into fuzz, pummel and blown amps. Side one is “Transistor Love” and gets things going with a rapid paced drum explosion that contends to outpace the entirety of the track, leaving me seemingly off balance for the duration. There are faint voices coming and going as the track progresses into its squalls of feedback and I'm left to envision that this is to mimic the joys of still using the radio dial (FM mute OFF...no cheaters) and then it promptly ends...picking back up with another steady drum beat that steers pretty much the rest of the track from one critical guitar injury to another. Flip the tape, you have “Skip Skool” and we're off with a death march of drums and the sputtering flare ups of distortion before turning into a full fledged burnt out psych mantra, sounding like it's trying to rip and tear its way off the tape that it was laid on to. Razorlegs - Transistor Love (stream) BUY IT! 12 – Breastmilk – Bliss (Chicago Research)

Chicago Research put out a variety of things this past year that I thought were all very solid in their own uniquely bleak and disturbing way, however Breastmilk kind of wins out of for things to play in the background if you genuinely want someone to be creeped out while being in your house. An interesting take on downtempo, that reaches its grimy fingers into the same head spaces of Throbbing Gristle, Nurse With Wound or the likes. An ebb and flowing bass churn scrapes along for 18 minutes of whatever hellscape this may be, the opener “Transient” using a ring-back tone to voicemail sample to unnerving ability. Not to mention a woman sobbing to the background of glass shattering and various other noises on “Jesus Piece”. Breastmilk provides the soundtrack for the horror, however part of the fun of Bliss is the open ended scenarios of whom and what it's playing for... Breastmilk - Transient (stream) BUY IT! 11 – HTRK – Venus in Leo (Ghostly International)

It sure doesn't feel like it's been roughly five years since HTRK released the excellent Psychic 9-5 Club, but that's the case. Following the death of co-founding member Sean Stewart, HTRK continued forward as a duo and have seen their sound venture further into the electronic world; relinquishing the heavy low end found on early recordings while cold pulses of bass and synth have since flooded over. Remaining consistent has been Jonnine Standish's vocal presence throughout, one that dictates the miscues, misery and loneliness in hushed breathy swoops. On their fourth effort, Venus in Leo, Standish and guitarist Nigel Yang return to the same nighttime introspection of regret, however with Yang's shimmering guitars coming back into play more so than we've heard in quite a while...fading in and out of the background. I kind of miss the heavy minimalism, almost deep-house vibe, that Psychic 9-5 Club had...but melancholy plays out in many different ways...and Venus in Leo seems to be the way HTRK wanted to tackle it this time. No matter, it's still immensely enjoyable. HTRK - Dream Symbol (stream) BUY IT! 10 – Jessica Pratt – Quiet Signs (Drag City)

Funny note, Quiet Signs was one of the first albums of 2019 that I really liked and accordingly I included one of the tunes from it on that respective months mix. My now fiance listened to it and then sent me a picture of the name of the song that was on and simply said “hate this”. Noted. It's OK though, we still love each other. How could you hate something as serene as Quiet Signs? Anyway, Jessica Pratt has been honing in her sound for several years now and took the plunge with her third album to record in a proper studio, which resulted in an album that sounds really far removed from being recorded in a proper studio oddly enough. The sparseness in instrumentation and the dreamlike echoes of Pratt's voice feel like both are in the same room with you, but still somehow a million miles away...or if that I'm not careful enough the whole thing will disappear entirely. It's the indescribable feeling of distance and brief lapses of clarity that make Quiet Signs so beautiful sounding. It comes and goes all too quick however, so I'll be anxiously awaiting the next appearance from Jessica Pratt. Jessica Pratt - This Time Around (stream) BUY IT! 09 – Notches – New Kind of Love (Dead Broke / Salinas)

Was blown away by Notches and their debut record High Speed Crimes around three or so years ago. It was pretty much everything I could ask for in a pop/punk record, bringing plenty of fuzz/distortion and a heaping fuck ton of melody. While New Kind of Love doesn't necessarily register on that same scale with me, it's still a fantastic record from a band that continues to peel off some of the catchiest material within the genre. It being the bands third album and all, it's kind of fun noticing them “growing older” of sorts and moving away from the turned up to “11” mindset. It's about the song now man, I mean it's always been I'm sure, but now it's no longer buried underneath a sheet of distortion. Can't blame them. I entered my listening to public talk radio in the car phase of my life here not too long. Totally feel ya. Give these guys a listen please. Notches - Funny How (stream) BUY IT! 08 – Dry Cleaning – Boundary Road Snacks and Drinks (It's OK)

From the opener “Dog Proposal” Dry Cleaning establishes very quickly that Boundary Road Snacks and Drinks is exhausting. I don't mean that in the negative sense either. The second EP from the UK based post-punk group is merely informing all of you out there that life is just extra fucking exhausting. Because it most certainly is. Singer Florence Shaw takes the six songs on this EP and crams so much of our current day-to-day nonsense in it that I'm basically getting an anxiety attack listening to this sucker. However, the honesty is appreciated and the contradicting jauntiness of some of these tunes is an excellent way to remind that no matter how tired I am that everything else is going to keep rolling as it always has. While there are much bigger issues at hand that Dry Cleaning tackle throughout, it's the debilitation of everything as a whole that Boundary Road Snacks and Drinks really conveys the most. After two excellent samplings from the band, it's pretty terrifying to think of the destruction on my nerves that they could cause with a full-length. Time will hopefully tell. Dry Cleaning - Viking Hair (stream) BUY IT! 07 – Kim Gordon – No Home Record (Matador)

It had never really occurred to me that Kim Gordon had never released a solo album up until this point of her lengthy career. I was kind of blown away by that to be honest. I guess it's just that Thurston Moore seems to fart one out here and there, so I'd assumed Gordon had done the same. However, as it stands, No Home Record is Kim Gordon's first solo effort and completely took me by surprise. Maybe I'd expected it to sound much like her material in Body/Head? I don't know. Or for it to be closer threaded to Sonic Youth? That's unfair, I know, but it is what it is. The good deal is that No Home Record is completely left field of about anything I expected; that takes equal parts no-wave and drags it through the glitch/industrial minefield. Gordon's voice fits right in with it all, adding to the instability and jarring nature of practically everything on this record. I'd never thought I would have wished for a Kim Gordon experimental electronica record, but it's 2020 baby and things are apparently really fucking different now. Fantastic stuff. Kim Gordon - Don't Play It (stream) BUY IT! 06 – Joshua Abrams Natural Information Society – Mandatory Reality (Eremite)

I somehow wish I could have this album playing practically the entire time I'm at work (it's almost long enough), but unfortunately my boss sits perched only a mere few feet away from me to ensure that maximum stress is achieved. Joshua Abrams and the NIC have created an absolutely astonishing collection of work on Mandatory Reality that is likely easier to zone out to than to deliberately ignore. You'll want to, because wherever Mandatory Reality exists, the grass is most certainly greener and I'm frantically waving my ticket to hop aboard whatever space-age craft is going to take me there at any given time. But really more to the actual music, Joshua Abrams and the NIC have laid out 4 slow moving, borderline minimalist, pieces of avant-garde jazz that sooth and calm the bludgeoning attempts of our actual mandatory reality sometimes. It's pretty brilliant and perfectly recorded/captured by Greg Norman. Played on a proper stereo, it's a variety of nuanced sound that demands repeated listens simply on that alone. Joshua Abrams Natural Information Society - Shadow Conductor (stream) BUY IT! 05 – 55 Deltic – You Could Own an American Home (Kingfisher Bluez / Strictly No Capital Letters / Barely Regal)

I love the title of this record so much, because here sometime in the next year we're going to have to start looking for a house and having been through this rodeo once before...I know how utterly dreary that's going to be. The only fun part about it right now, is the non serious part where I'm just cruising Zillow listings at work and seeing the inside of all these cool houses I can't afford. And what better of an idea to center an emo/slowcore record around? In actuality I'm pretty positive that's not what 55 Deltic are even remotely channeling here, but I would imagine there is a definite longing/nostalgia for a time when working towards a successful future was something not increasingly hard to obtain. The songs on You Could Own an American Home weigh heavily through a slow but sturdy pace, that lines up well with bands like Bedhead or Codeine, who both seemed to pull at a lot of the same strings that 55 Deltic are equally bummed out about no longer being commonplace in society. Really enjoyed this one, as it touches upon a lot of the aspects I like about the genre and isn't afraid of getting a little raucous here and there. 55 Deltic - Tangen (stream) BUY IT! 04 – Cherubs – Immaculada High (Relapse)

I guess the rumor of Cherubs signing to Relapse finally came true...albeit for their second album, fourth overall. Not sure why that took so long, but whatever...here we are...Cherubs consuming roster space on the same label that I remember receiving some pretty wild catalogs from years and years ago and lots and lots of pretty bad cover art. Or really good cover art if you were into grindcore. Either way. I guess it makes sense, Cherubs were, and are, fairly extreme in the realms of the noise-rock world, being a band that released one of the true classics in Heroin Man. When they got back together, there was a level of fear that the burden of having to follow that sucker up would be a bit hard to do, but 2 Ynfynyty wiped away any concern of that as I foolishly had mistaken the band as a group of people that would even remotely worry about something like that. The album ended up being nothing short of amazing and sounded like a band that had a little regard as to what they “should” sound like and just made a record that they wanted to. They returned this past year with Immaculada High and did exactly the same thing, producing a record that isn't simply a repeat and pushes their sonic explorations of marrying noise/melody even further into the grandiose murkiness. At this point, I'm calling it good. I mean, this is two more Cherubs albums than I ever thought I would get already, so I'm not really willing to push my luck here. However, if more is to come...then I'm here for it. Cherubs - Full Regalia (stream) BUY IT! 03 – Clear Gash – Replenish (Iniquity)

Knew nothing of Clear Gash when listening to Replenish and still know nothing about Clear Gash. They are from Germany and apparently have a very sparse web presence other than releasing this album on Iniquity Records, which have graciously provided it on their Bandcamp site or in the form of a....CD? Beggars can't be choosers I guess and at least Replenish got out there one way or another. Clear Gash are a bit of an oddity in this day and age, as there just aren't too many people out there really trying to bring murky moodiness of grunge back to the forefront, however that's not too far from what they are attempting on their debut (I'm assuming?) album. It's fuzzy, down tuned and pretty filthy sounding stuff. The interesting part is that they are taking the tone/sound and partially playing it like slowed down hardcore. Odd, but it jams sure enough. The production almost lends a bit of a raw Born Annoying/Strap it On era feel, which is definitely appealing to me. Replenish rips and is a distorted mess of riffage that has sorely gone missing in the past couple or so years for some reason or another. Clear Gash - Ode to Discrepency (stream) BUY IT! 02 – USA/Mexico – Matamoros (12XU / Riot Season)

Considering the players involved that make up USA/Mexico, I would be really really bummed/surprised if they managed to put out a record that was crap. It just doesn't seem possible when bringing together members of Butthole Surfers, Shit & Shine and When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth...three very very fine purveyors of completely fried and distinctive noise-rock. So, it's relatively safe to say that Matamoros falls within that same realm of noise and dives deep into the red at the drop of the needle with the title track opener and spots some extra guitar ugliness from Spray Paint member George Dishner, which seems ridiculous that an extra amount of mangled feedback would seem necessary...but listening to Matamoros one gets the sense these fellas operate in a world unbeknownst of limitations. This then segues right into a grossly heavy cover of Cherubs' “Shoofly” with guest vocals by Mr. Kevin Whitley himself. Even he can't really crawl above the heaping amounts of distortion that USA/Mexico uncompromisingly continue to pour on, as his voice is repeatedly swallowed up by the mass. Matamoros carries on much in the same manner for it's duration. “Vaporwave Headache” cranks up the RPM's some and rips through two and a half of minutes of chugging maxed feedback and alien vocals as a possible representation of a vapor wave song if it were dubbed over on the same cassette roughly 400 times and then played at five times the speed. In the end, Matamoros greatly out performs the bands debut Laredo and is essentially the exact product of which could be expected through this collaboration of sorts. Well worth the risk of potential hearing loss. USA/Mexico - Matamoros (stream) BUY IT! 01 – Possible Humans – Everybody Split (Hobbies Galore / Trouble in Mind)

Yeah, this is my kind of thing. I'll never shy away from bands that want to continue hoisting that Homestead/Flying Nun flag and pumping out those type of jams. Possible Humans have apparently been lurking around Melbourne for a handful of years now, playing shows...etc. However, just towards the beginning of last year put out their first full-length through Hobbies Galore and it's been nice to see it gain some traction over the past few months. Enough so that Trouble in Mind picked up the record after the initial pressing of 200 sold out lightning quick. I got hooked after hearing the sprawling psych flavored “Born Stoned”, which despite being eleven minutes long it makes good on every single second of it, masterfully combining the Homestead or Athens sound with something that could have been an absolutely smoking Blue Oyster Cult deep cut. It quite simply rules and will undoubtedly be the best track I hear for a very long time. Definitely not trying to sell the rest of the album short, because Everybody Split is front to back a fantastic listen and piece of work that encapsulates a general feel/sound so well. If you haven't heard it yet, please make this one a priority. Possible Humans - Born Stoned (stream) BUY IT!

[b0blegum]

Why Am I Here? [seven]

Author: b0blegum

Pairing: Patient!Shin Hoseok x Psychiatrist!Reader

Rating: R

Genre: Psychiathriller (and a lot of smutty romance too)

Words: 2297 (i’m surprised myself to write this long)

WARNING MENTION OF MENTAL ILLNESSES

CHAPTER: PROLOGUE | ONE | TWO | THREE | FOUR | FIVE | SIX | SEVEN | EIGHT | NINE | TEN

Status: ON GOING

TRAILER

Summary

He was once an excellent doctor. An excellent psychiatrist. Everyone loved him. He was nice, kind, always care for each other, he even got the look. We can say… he was the whole package. But his glorious days ended in just one night. The night he woke up as a patient in the asylum where he worked, with no memory of why he is there or what he has done.

note: thank you for still being supportive all along and sorry to make you wait, but here you go! Finally, the 7th chapter of Why Am I Here? Hope you’ll enjoy this as much as i’m writing it xo

Stacks of papers were piling on your desk. Some were left open, while some still left untouched. Your fingers trailed on every highlighted sentence and combined those important notes, hoping you could get a bit of clue of what happened with your patient.

It had been almost four hours you were stuck with the files. You re-read all of the files from the very first time Hoseok got admitted until now, but none of them said even once that Hoseok was implying that he really did kill the girl on that night.

You leaned back with your head lulled back. There was only two possibilities on why he was like this. One, he had dissociative identity disorder or two, he really did not do that.

“The hospital...” you quickly reminded of something. “Why would the hospital tortured him if he had DID?” You went through the files once again to find any slight clue of a DID symptoms. “It must be here... somewh— oh, God!”

You jumped at the sudden bell of your apartment. Feeling confused and cautious, you tried to remember who you invited to come at this hour. Obviously no one.

You tip-toed to the front door and took a peek from the peephole when the bell rung once again.

“Minhyuk?” You talked to yourself in the lowest tone possible. “What is he doing coming here at this hour?” You squinted.

The bell rung once again.

“Who’s there?” You asked, pretended not knowing who the guest was.

“It’s me, Minhyuk.” He answered calmly, showing his face to the peephole and smiled cutely. You gave yourself a second to think whether or not you’d let him in. “(Y/n), i... came to say sorry, about the other day, I—“

You swung open the door, causing the guy stopped mid sentence. “Let’s talk inside.” Minhyuk stepped in and walked before you. “Have a seat. Water? Beer? Cola?” You asked as you made your way to the kitchen.

“Cola would be great.” He answered, bumping himself onto the couch.

“So... what is it?” You asked, walking back to the living room and seat side to side with the blonde. He shifted himself now that he was facing your direction.

“I... am terribly sorry. You know, i was so rude to you the other day and i... kissed you. I didn’t mean to scare you. I—“ He looked down for a second. “(Y/n), please just stay away from all of these.” He grabbed your hands and stroked them gently.

“Minhyuk? What do you mean?”

He sighed. “You asked me if there was something going on at the hospital and yes, there was. There still is.”

“Tell me. Is it related to my patient?”

“It’s— i don’t know. I once found Mrs. Lincoln and her bodyguards dragging Hoseok one day, but one of her bodyguards found me accidentally stalking them and—“

“And?”

“He told me to stay away and there’s nothing to look at.” His voice started shaking. “That’s why i did that to you so that... so that Mrs. Lincoln wouldn’t know what you did at that night.”

“When was it? Than you saw them?” You asked.

“Doesn’t matter when, the point is—“

“Minhyuk, it does! He is my patient and i have the right to know what happen to him—“

“(Y/n), listen. The point is. Whatever they do, it’s dangerous and you need to stay away. One thing i can tell you is that... shit, i am so done if i say this,” he whispered the last sentence, while looking away. “Mrs. Lincoln might look as soft as freshly bake honey muffin with colorful sprinkle on the outside, but she is actually a rotten burnt out french toast in the inside.”

Your eyebrows raised at his parable. As weird as he said, you still understand it nonetheless.

Your brain quickly recalled all the memories of you and Mrs. Lincoln. Yes, she was really a nice lady the first time you came in to the institution. She was all smiles and you somehow could see it in her eyes that she really was a nice person, but Minhyuk saying all of these just gave you a second thought about the woman. Could the woman, who is the chair of the institution played one of her patients dirty? But why? And why it had to be Hoseok? There were a lot other patients who did more than killing. Why him?

Just after Minhyuk told you everything about the truth of what is going on, you became suspicious about anything and of anyone. Especially Hoseok’s guard. Hyunwoo.

“Move aside.” You said as you were about to stretch your hand to the small machine attached, but the man quickly grabbed your hand. “Hey!”

“I’m sorry, but i’m afraid you are not allow to enter without permission.” He said, carefully pushing down your hand.

“But i am his doctor and i need to see him.” You tried to be calm, even though deep down you’re boiling.

“Your session starts in an hour, Dr. (y/l/n). I can only let you in at that time. Not before nor aft—“

“Alright. Hyunwoo,” you shook your head before you stared intensely at him. “You want a surprise? I already know what happened, so it’s either you let me in, or i’ll call the police and tell them about what’s really going on inside this—“ you smirked as soon as you noticed a small twitch at Hyunwoo’s eyes. It works! So he knew as well. “Institution.” You said calmly. “Come on! Open this for me.”

Hyunwoo finally did as you said. He didn’t say a word, though, but you now 100% sure he knew about what was going on, about Hoseok and Mrs. Lincoln.

You smiled in victory once you’re inside, but that smile quickly faded away when you see the boy sat on the floor, weakly, leaning against one of the bed’s leg. He was pale and looked like he could passed out anytime soon.

“Hoseok!” You yelled his name as you slid to where he was. Your first response was to check on his temperature. Putting your palm against his sweaty forehead, you could feel a burning feeling radiating from his skin. “God. You’re burning.” You whispered in panic. “Wait i’ll tell the nur—“ you were about to rushed to the door, when you felt Hoseok’s hand grabbing your with just a little power. “What? You need something?” You asked, taking his hand and holding it, trying to calm him down.

“Don–“ he said between his heavy breath. “Call the,” he coughed. His eyes were heavy and kept closing as he was talking. “The nurse.” He continued.

“But, you’re burning, Hoseok! I can’t let you laid here like this! Look at you, you’re too pale.”

“I... just need a rest.” He coughed again. “If they see me,” he took a breath. “Like this... they’d put me to a long sleep.”

“Put you to sleep?” You squinted your eyes, trying to figure out what he meant. Quickly you reminded of something, the list of all Hoseok’s medicines.

You rushed to the table to grab his files and check on the list of every medicine he took and is taking. Your finger trailed on the long list and the amount of dose he should take in a day.

“None of them would put him to a deep sleep.” You looked at the files and Hoseok. You leveled down to the boy again. “Do you remember what they give you to put you to sleep?” You asked.

The boy shook their head slowly. His energy was slowly decreasing. “They injected me,” he whispered. “It burns.”

“Injection...” you checked the list once again, trying to find any medication that’s given through an injection, but none of them was. They were all either pills or tablets.

“Are you sure?” You asked him.

Hoseok nodded weakly as he tried to do something. His hand slowly reached for his other arm and slid the sleeve up to his elbow. Showing you something. He didn’t say anything, but you were so sure what he was giving you to look at.

There were a lot of track marks on his left arm. There were too many that i’d look like he’s a drug addict or some stuff.

You trailed your fingers on his arm and checking the marks. They were all dried and form a dark spot.

“When?” You asked.

“Night... they—“

A door slammed open. Someone barged in without bother to knock at the door. Panic, you quickly slid down the sleeve of Hoseok’s top, covering the sight he just showed you. You turned around to see who’s standing sternly at the door.

“Mrs. Lincoln?” You asked, seeing the figure standing there enjoying the sight of two human sitting on the floor.

“Now is not your session, isn’t it, Dr. (y/l/n)?” She walked slowly. Her heels tapping echoed throughout the isolated room.

“Yes— but, Hoseok is burning hot and– and he would faint if we don’t give him—“

“That’s fine. He has fever all the time. Is this your first time seeing him like this?” She leveled down to touch Hoseok’s jaw and tilted it up so that the boy could see her eyes directly.

Hoseok shivered and refused to open his eyes. His fist clenched as tight as he could make it to and he breathed heavier.

He hates her. You read his obvious expression. She was faking this?

“Hyunwoo, get me his usual medicine for his fever.” She shouted.

“Mrs. Lincoln,” you called. The woman hummed in response.

“I didn’t see it listed in his record.”

“What didn’t?”

“The medicine for his fever.” You countered. The woman’s lips twitched.

“It’s just for fever, darling. All that are on the list are his daily medicine. You’re a doctor, you’re supposed to know what to be listed and what not.” She smiled.

After awhile, Hyunwoo stepped in and gave Mrs. Lincoln an injection with a clear thick substance in it. In full dose.

“Excuse me, Mrs. Lincoln, may i know what is that?” You asked when she was rolling Hoseok’s sleeve up. The boy hissed as if he was in pain, but knowing that he was to weak to do anything, it meant nothing to the woman.

“This is his usual fever medicine. Are you doubting me now, Dr. (y/l/n)?” She said. She was just an inch away of injecting it to Hoseok when the boy finally gained just enough strength to slapped Mrs. Lincoln’s hand, causing the injection to be thrown away far enough.

Instinctively, you ran and stepped on the injection, crashing it to pieces. The fluid was now all over the floor.

“God. I’m so so so sorry! I didn’t mean to— i’ll clean it all, i’m so sorry!” You squatted down and quickly wiped the substance with the inside of your coat.

“Stop right there!” Mrs. Lincoln shouted. It shocked you too much that you really stopped what you were doing.

She looked furious and panic at the same time. Her eyes twitched and went wider. “Hyunwoo, tell them to clean this up and put Hoseok back to his bed.” She told the tall guy towering behind you.

You looked at Mrs. Lincoln, about to say a word, but she already left, fixing her black long trench coat as she walked off.

“You may leave, Dr. (y/l/n).” Hyunwoo asked.

Your eyes fixed at Hoseok. You could see him smiling slightly as he looked down, burying his own face in his wet hair. His warm hands fell to the floor, making contact with the cold ground. It felt as if he was relieved of what just happened.

“Oh—“ you let your eyes off the boy and stood up. “Yes.”

Something really did happen. That injection. That injection must’ve been the one he was just talking about. It must be the thing that put him to a deep sleep.

You looked at the hem of your coat. Some of the thick substance were still there, but some were almost dried up and form a blueish stain on your coat.

You picked up your phone and dialed some numbers.

“Hello? Minhyuk? Where are you?” You asked as soon as you heard the familiar boy’s voice at the other line. “You have the key to the lab, right? Yes... yes, i need to check on something. Yes. Tomorrow? Alright. Okay. Thank you so much!”

You smiled and hung up. Feeling victorious just now that you had all this great things planned in your head and ready to solved the mystery of this institution.

 You closed the door of your office and locked it up and rushingly went into a search frenzy of a small bottle that could be use to store the substance left on your coat. 

It took you almost another minute to finally found a small glass bottle in the drawer and you began to extracting the remaining wet substance off your coat. After done doing that and the hem was completely dried, you heard a knocking sound on your door.

“Yes?” You asked, unlocking the door and found a laundry lady in front of your door.

“Mrs. Lincoln said you need to get your coat get cleaned up.” She said.

“What? I didn’t—“ you realised something. “Oh... right, actually—“ you took it off and showed the dried stain. “I spilled something there.”

She took it immediately without saying anything and just put it to the bag before she left, not saying anything either.

Mrs. Lincoln must’ve noticed that you had the substance in your coat and that she won’t risk you knowing what is it, but well, it’s 1 - 0 for (y/n), you already had it stored in the bottle.

 << PREV | NEXT >>

[keptmanners]

👶!!!

Send 👶 and I’ll share headcanons about my Muse’s children. // @plannedahead

oh man, what can i say that i haven’t already??

olivia rahmi buchanan-taimoor / “liv” / 16/17 (eldest daughter) / k.atrina k.aif– she’s tall (probably about 5′8-5′9) and lanky like her father, but with subtle curves.– she looks almost exactly like her father but has very subtle features from her mother, such as things like her ears or the shape of her smile. her hair is dark and curly, and she has freckles which she isn’t sure if she likes or not.– she’ll either dress cute and casual, or almost business-like with pencil skirts and blazers with button-ups. ruth and rachael like to poke fun at her for her business-casual attire and tell her that she looks like an accountant.– when she was little she wanted to grow up to be a lawyer like her father, but ended up going the doctor route instead. she still participates in activism though because her voice demands to be heard!– family is the most important thing to her. unfortunately, she ends up butting heads with people like aasim, ruth, and rachael since she has very strong opinions and has a tendency to be a bit bossy. she gets along quite well with ruby, julia, and misal. mostly because she knows better than to push ruby too far, besides the fact she appreciates ruby’s calming nature, and because julia and misal are more reserved and passive and try to argue with her as much.– she’s very good at debating (and is a part of the debate team), has a photographic memory, gets excellent grades, stops at nothing to get shit done, and, despite her stature, can kick someone’s ass if she has to.– she can’t cook to save her life, she sometimes takes things too seriously, humor isn’t exactly her strong suit, she has a tendency to get under people’s skin with her strong opinions and bossy attitude, and she sometimes gets so wrapped up in her responsibilities that she forgets to let loose and have some fun.– as a small child she had astraphobia (fear of thunder and lightning), but nowadays she just doesn’t like storms as they make her uncomfortable. and to this day she still has dentophobia (fear of the dentist).– positive traits: family-oriented, hardworking, loving, compassionate, and intelligent.negative traits: bossy, confrontational, not humorous, argumentative, and takes too many things seriously.

ruth clementine buchanan-taimoor / “ru” (she doesn’t like it) / 14/15 (second eldest daughter) / d.isha p.atani– she’s tall (also probably about 5′8-5′9)and fit with an athletic build due to all the sports she plays.– she looks mostly like aasim, but slightly more like ruby than olivia does. she’s got ruby’s hooded eye shape and lip shape, (along with curly hair and freckles also) but everything else is aasim.– her style is sporty. you’ll almost always catch her in sportswear – whether it’s sweats or a tank and basketball shorts, or a sports bra and leggings. she can’t wear heels to save her life and will only wear “girly” clothes on rare occasions.– she’s always been into sports, but she eventually decides on becoming a track star. she gets a full-ride scholarship because of it and everything.– she gets along with her family well enough, despite butting heads every now and then. she mostly gets into it with olivia or rachael since olivia’s uprightness is annoying, and because rachael is always trying to prank her for one reason or another. she gets along well enough with her other two siblings and her parents.– very good at track, and is probably the fastest runner on the team. she’s basically a naturally when it comes to any sport, and could probably body-slam someone with little to no difficulty. she’s pretty strong, and can definitely hold her own in a fight. when it comes to video games, no one stands a chance.– much like olivia, ruth can’t cook either. she didn’t inherit ruby’s singing voice either and is actually rather tone deaf. she has a hard time letting things go, and will hold a grudge for a very long time. she’s been known to be a “sore loser” whenever it comes to not winning against somebody else. trying to stay focused on something that she isn’t completely, 100% invested in is difficult for her.– despite not being quite as driven as olivia, ruth still has atychiphobia (fear of failure) seeing as when she does put her mind to something, she goes all out. she also knows how hard her parents have worked to get where they are and to be able to provide for her and her siblings and she doesn’t want to let them down. much like her father, she also hasemetophobia (fear of vomiting) and this is why she’s always careful with what she consumes before and after she exercises or plays sports. she’s already seen too many girls lose their lunch and it’s not something she looks forward to for herself.– positive traits: loyal, fierce, carefree, determined, and humorous.negative traits: competitive, stubborn, abrasive, short-tempered, and careless.

julia brody buchanan-taimoor / “jules” / 12/13 (middle daughter) / n.aomi s.cott– she’s slightly shorter than both of her older sisters (probably about 5′7) and has more of ruby’s body type. she’s softer with more noticeable curves.– she is the one sibling who looks the most like ruby out of all of them. the biggest noticeable difference is her straight red hair and hazel eyes. she also has freckles. she looks mostly like ruby but has a few of aasim’s features sprinkled in such as the shapes of her eyes and ears.– her style is quite girly. she loves pastel colors, and is also very modest in how she dresses. she loves to wear cardigans and shawls, and prefers cute dresses, flowing skirts and cute blouses as opposed to sweats or jeans.– she takes after aasim in liking to write her thoughts and feelings down (and rachael steals it and reads it). she ends up becoming a writer and editor. – she gets along fairly well with her family as a whole, though she does feel like they baby her a lot. this is due to her being the most emotional and sensitive of them all. no one wants to hurt her feelings. it drives her crazy, but at the same time she appreciates that they don’t pester her too much. she has both of her parents wrapped around her finger as well.– she can cook almost as well as ruby, herself. whenever ruby works late, they either get take out or rely on her to cook. she’s also very good with poetry and she loves to doodle. she doesn’t think her art is all that good, but truthfully, she’d be very good at writing and illustrating children’s books. she’s a great listener and seems to have a calming aura about her that the people who vent to her seem to enjoy.– some might say that she’s too sensitive, sometimes crying at the drop of a hat. she does decently in school, but she gets in trouble for falling behind on her work due to daydreaming. she’s very gullible. she’d still believe in santa if her older siblings hadn’t ruined it for her. she’s probably too passive for her own good, but has been known to stand up for herself when she really needs to even if she isn’t very intimidating at all.– it shouldn’t be surprising to hear that she’s got arachnophobia (fear of spiders) and entomophobia (fear of bugs and insects). if she sees them in a room, she won’t go into that room until someone else has disposed of it. she’s the type who will crawl onto whatever higher surface she can in order to get away from them and will bolt out of the room the first chance she gets. even just thinking about them makes her skin crawl.– positive traits: sweet, empathetic, amiable, thoughtful, and selfless.negative traits: shy, gullible, naive, absentminded, and overemotional.

rachael sarah buchanan-taimoor / “rach” / 8/9 (second youngest child) / a.nupama p.arameswaran– she ends up growing to be about the same height as julia, and is somewhere inbetween aasim and ruby’s body types. she’s pretty average. not too big or lanky, with a suble hourglass figure.– she’s a pretty good mix of both her parents. ruby’s hair type, freckles, face shape, nose shape, and lip shape, but aasim’s hair and eye color, eye shape, brows, and smile.– she’s more into the grunge look. flannels, band t’s, ripped jeans, converse, hoodies, etc. much like ruth, she doesn’t like wearing anything overly girly and can’t wear heels to save her life.– it didn’t take her long before she found a love of science and uses it to help with her pranks. uncle louis made the mistake of buying her a chemistry set for her birthday and she nearly burnt the house down with the help of uncle mitch. she eventually goes to college to become a chemist– she feels like she doesn’t get enough attention so she acts out in order to get it. bad attention is better than none to her. she just hates being ignored. she often times pulls pranks on her siblings, and she’s not above pretending to be sweet and batting her eyelashes to get what she wants (aasim is her main culprit since it never works on ruby). she’s real quick to tell embarrassing stories about her family, but hates it when they do the same to her. all things considered, she cares very much for her family and isn’t afraid to stand up for them when need be.– despite the way she uses it, rachael is very good with science. she considers herself to be a ‘prank master’ even though it gets her into a lot of trouble. she does well enough in school despite being somewhat of a class clown. she’s a scrapper in the sense that she isn’t afraid to throw down when she needs to and usually comes out on top. she’s really good at games like checkers and chess and would be in chess club if she didn’t think it would make her look like a dork.– despite her decent grades, she ends up getting poor conduct marks on nearly every report card she brings home. she’s got a short temper and can be very vindictive if someone wrongs her. she’s quite the troublemaker and has a tendency of getting herself into more shit than she can handle more often than she’d care to admit. even as she gets older and matures some, she still manages to maintain some of her bratty childishness.– unsurprisingly, she has athazagoraphobia (fear of being forgotten) since she already fears that she’s overlooked in favor of her other siblings. it’s because of this fear that she acts out as much as she does. she wants to make a name for herself so that no one ever forgets her. she also has autophobia (fear of abandonment). she’s scared of ending up all alone, whether it’s because her family forgets about her, or because someone will get tired of her and leave.– positive traits: loyal, intelligent, witty, clever, and caring.negative traits: manipulative, sneaky, bratty, disrespectful (at times), and childish.

misal tennessee buchanan-taimoor / "missy” (for family use only) / 2/3 (youngest child) / a.van j.ogia (fc for once he gets older) / click for toddler appearance– misal’s height ends up surprising everyone. by the time he’s fully grown he’s about six feet tall and no one knows where he got that tall gene from. aside from his height, he’s basically built just like aasim and has a fast metabolism so it’s hard from him to really put on weight anyway.– he looks mostly like his paternal father, with only subtle features thrown in from aasim and ruby. he does end up acquiring curly hair and freckles from ruby though. he also ends up having better, not patchy facial hair, unlike aasim.– for a while when he was younger, he was known to wear way too many button ups and polos, but as he got older he began to incorporate more casual wear into his attire. from middle school throughout high school he was more known to wear baggy t’s and plaid over-shirts, graphic t’s, jeans, and hoodies.– he’s always been very intelligent for his age, going as far as being bumped up a year in school and graduating early. he’s always loved knowledge, learning, and helping others (he was a super tutor in school), misal becomes a college professor and teaches physics.– like julia, misal actually gets along quite well with his family, but they tend to baby him as well due to his all of his ailments. he’s already the baby of the family, but he wishes that they wouldn’t treat him like he’s so fragile. out of everyone, he’s closest to julia since the two have quite a bit in common, despite their age gap. he’s close to rachael, too, surprisingly enough, due to their shared love of science and because they’re the closest in age. she’s also been known to stick up for him in school.– misal is very intelligent, being able to remember just about anything, and having no problem working problems out in his head. he tutors his classmates and is basically a walking encyclopedia. he’s that kid who’ll shower you in random, pointless facts if you’ll entertain him long enough. he’s got beautiful penmanship and could probably do commissions for calligraphy if he really wanted to.– he has a lot of ailments. he has many allergies to different animals, he is lactose intolerant, has asthma, and can’t see very well.on top of his ailments, he’s also a pretty sickly child so he misses a lot of school. he can be a bit of a smart ass without meaning to, despite his usually sweet demeanor. if someone is incorrect about something, uses improper punctuation, or grammar, it kills him not to say something. it’s his smart mouth that’s gotten himself into trouble with bullies in the past. with “fight or flight” mode, he’s much more lightly to flee the scene than to try to put up a fight.– for much of his youth he had mysophobia (fear of germs) due to all of his ailments and how often he was sick. as he got older, it became less of a phobia and more of a discomfort. he’s still known to be a very clean person because of it. his other fear, nosocomephobia (fear of hospitals) also comes from his sickly childhood. he was in and out of hospitals so often that he hates to even look at them. going inside of one always makes him feel uncomfortable and he somehow always manages to get sick.– positive traits: intelligent, helpful, kind, loving, and clever.negative traits: reserved, smart-ass, curious, clumsy, and passive.

[broken-clover]

ACC Day 9- Phone Calls

...this one was kinda obvious, wasn’t it. This was like the first one I was able to schedule when I started doing this because it was way too obvious to not do. I apologize if my lack of creativity is disappointing.

So, yeah, today I’m using Answer. Surprise?

For whatever reason, Answer would much rather talk through a phone than talk to a real human in the flesh. For most people he knew, even neurotypical ones, they seemed to prefer it the other way, hating phone calls and preferring human contact. Even for as bright as he was, Answer wasn’t entirely sure why that was. Maybe it was easier because it was harder to mess up. All he had to worry about was using the correct tones and relay the proper information, and not much else.

When talking to a real person, there were so many more variables. He had to keep a close eye on body language, and for as powerful as his memory was, it still wasn’t encyclopedic- or even perfectly reliable, considering how differently people could react to the same words. The best he could manage was calculation and probability, picking the best possible option.

It seemed like secretary work was the sort of occupation that he had been built for. He could make the calls and organize the paperwork and make the plans, and Chipp could be responsible for the seemingly-unstoppable morale. Answer really didn’t know where the man got it from, but it certainly made for a more productive work environment. A happy staff was a more efficient staff.

Despite what a lot of people were lead to believe, Answer never felt particularly demeaned or overworked by his boss. There were times when the papers could pile up, but he could only blame Chipp so much. A lot of it wasn’t really his fault, just bureaucracy in action. In any case, he felt a bit ungrateful to complain. Chipp had been remarkably accommodating and accepting of his...peculiarities, as it were, morso that anyone else had been before. Chipp never made him feel weird when he stimmed. He barely even gave it a second look.

He wasn’t particularly confident doing it around others quite yet, but Answer was happy to let himself stim peacefully within the safety of his office as he worked. He could make phone calls and work on documents while he traced abstract shapes against the desktop with the calming pressure of his scarf wrapped against his face. Chipp was currently working on some negotiations a couple hours east, leaving him working alone to keep things smooth and orderly.

“Hello, sir? This is Answer, calling on behalf of the Chipp Kingdom. We began some discussions recently on a possible collaboration between settlements? Yes, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble…”

The man was a skilled multitasker. He jotted down a few notes on the current financial document, easily crunching the numbers and writing out a sum on the bottom.

“Excellent, I’m very honored that you would be willing to speak with me. I’m fully aware that you’re a very busy man- pardon, could you hold, please?”

Another call patched through as he grabbed a new paper and ran a hand through his hair. Maybe he needed to go feed the frogs...

“So very sorry for taking so long, ma’am, I know your time is very valuable. I was merely hoping we would be able to discuss the trade agreements? I greatly appreciate your contributions to our cause.”

“Apologies for the wait, sir, where were we? Ah, yes, would you be willing to compromise on the border line in exchange for an increase in manpower?”

Keeping track of things all at once wasn’t as hard as it seemed. A certain amount of work in a certain amount of time, all a matter of numbers to be checked and organized based on the schedule he had. It was what he did best.

“By all means, we’re very open to discussions-”

“I would be happy to set you up with a 4pm time block on thursday-”

“Are these terms and conditions acceptable for you?”

In the middle of yet another negotiation, an unexpected notification popped up. Answer hadn’t been expecting any more, but he let the call come through regardless.

“Hello, this is Answer?”

“Heya, man!”

“Boss?” He recoiled in his seat. “I wasn’t expecting you. Is something wrong?”

“Something wrong? Nah, everything’s great!” Answer found no reason to not believe him, based on his cheery tone. “Just wanted to call and say the meeting’s over. A few more villages decided to join!”

“Excellent work, boss. I was hoping it would go over well. You do have a knack for inspirational speeches.”

“Aww, well aren’t you a flatterer?” He could practically see Chipp’s smirk. “Anyway, I’m starting to head back. Just wanted to make sure you were managing well by yourself?”

“Everything’s fine, is something worrying you?”

There was a pause on the other end. “Ehh, I just know you tend to work too hard. You aren’t getting burnt out, right? Is the clicker helping?”

Answer paused in the middle of a calculation. “Clicker?”

“Oh, damn it-” The call went muffled. He was about to ask if everything was alright when Chipp spoke up again. “Sorry about that. Didn’t I tell you? I got it from Axl the last time he came over for a drink. Said it was really good for stimming with? It should be in your desk drawer.”

More than a little confused, Answer tugged the drawer open. Amidst the neatly-stacked paper, there was a little something nestled in between that resembled something like a lightswitch, in a similar red to his scarf.

“Did’ja find it?”

After looking the device over, Answer pressed on the switch. It made a satisfying little click as it turned. “Yes. It’s a very nice gift, boss.”

“I hope it helps! I’ll be back soon, okay? See ya!”

The connection switched off. Answer gave the peculiar object another look, and gave it a couple more clicks. A smile curved under his scarf.

Well, back to work he went. There was still plenty to finish before Chipp got back.

[forksofwisdom]

Twilight Characters Cast as Greek Deities - pictures + explanations

Warning:

This is a long one (but there are a lot of pretty pictures!)

By Greek Deities I mean all of them - the Primordial gods, Titans, Olympians, Daemones (personified spirits), and Nymphs. I focused on the deities personalities, abilities or history to find the right fit! Relationships are not taken into account!

Thanks to the anon who encouraged me to combine my love of Greek mythology with Twilight! This is for you!

These are simply my headcanons, so you're free to disagree or expand on them as you like!

The Olympic Coven

Carlisle's foremost characteristic is his compassion and desire to heal others. He saved the lives of most of his family members; Edward, Rosalie, Esme, and Emmet. Asclepius, the son of Apollo and famed physician, was punished by Zeus for saving the life of mortals from certain death. He was elevated to godhood in death.

Esme is described as the heart of the family. In ancient Greece, the hearth was the center of the home and family. Hestia received the first offering in every household since she presided over the preparation of the family meal.

Jasper participated in two major wars, both as a major and then as a second-in-command. He isn't rash or sadistic enough to be Ares, but his gift for strategy and charisma makes Pallas, the Titan god of Warcraft and military campaign, an excellent choice for him.

Alice has the gift of foresight, but her vivacious personality is why I chose the Titaness, Phoebe, out of all of the prophets and oracles. Phoebe is derived from the Greek word "phoibos" which means bright or radiant!

Emmett has superior strength than most vampires. Kratos is the personified spirit of strength, might, power and sovereign rule.

Rosalie was a difficult choice because she's like the lovechild of Aphrodite and Athena. She's beautiful, passionate, and desires children (procreation) but a she's also intelligent and interested in mechanics and engineering which is Athena's domain. I went with Aphrodite in the end because Athena is a maiden goddess and asexual.

Edward was an easy choice however because there are surprisingly few gods who rule music. Apollo is the god of music, poetry, and healing (to name a few) and Edward has an interest in medicine. To my knowledge, there are no Greek gods with the ability to read minds as Edward does.

The Quileutes

Sam was forced to keep the Alpha position by Jacob, which is an immense responsibility. Atlas was condemned to bear the entire sky for leading the Titans in their war against Zeus. Atlas came to mean endurance. (I thought of Hades at first, and I totally agree with you anon - he's got the 'hard on the outside soft on the inside' thing down to pat, but Hades fit another character better!)

Jared has the penchant for gambling. At first, I thought Hermes would be a good match for him, but Hermes many other titles (so, so many titles). I decided that Caerus, who is the god of opportunity, critical time, advantage and profit, was a better fit since those are attributes of (successful) betting.

Paul has a temper, but he's not a sadist like Ares. Poseidon is infamous for his temper tantrums, causing earthquakes and tsunamis (he's also a petty bitch, and I wouldn't put it past Paul to be one too if he could get away with it)

Jacob has a love for mechanics, and not many can say that they built their car! Hephaestus became the god of smiths, fire, and metalworking and his creations are prized and sought after by all the other gods!

Leah was challenging to cast. Initially, I thought she'd make a good Artemis, but that goddess has notoriously born hatred for all men since her birth. The only side of Leah we get to see in canon is the front she puts up - burnt and bitter. She's argumentative, sharp-tongued, and downright vicious. Eris is... not pleasant to be around. I think Leah would join Artemis and become her handmaiden once she's calmed down and away from Sam and Emily.

Seth is our sunshine boy!!! (need I say more???)

Embry is reserved and likes his space. I think he's the type to take advantage of the trails around La Push and go on long walks and enjoy his own company. Pan was the god of shepherds and forests of the mountain wilds. The Greeks associated his name with the word pan which means "all." However, its true origin lay in an old Arcadian word for rustic, but I couldn't resist quoting Hitchhiker's Guide in the picture - it's my favorite. I'M ONLY HUMAN!)

Quil is remarkably relaxed and cheerful for a boy who's supposed to be raging with testosterone *cough* Jake *cough* Paul *hack*. He seems like the sort of guy to enjoy a good party, and Dionysos certainly does. It doesn't hurt that he's best friends with Pan (Embry).

Emily was against Sam imprinting her at first. She was a victim of circumstance (it’s still shitty what they did to Leah), and Persephone was precisely that: a victim. Hades asked Zeus for the hand of one of his daughters and Zeus said that he could have Persephone, but that he'd need to kidnap her because Demeter would never allow him to have her daughter. He stole her and later tricked Persephone into staying with him for eternity. They fall deeply in love by the end tho.

Kim's personality isn't known in canon - other than that she's shy. She's a favorite of mine though, so that's why she's here! In my headcanon, Kim is intelligent and offers great advice. She's cunning as well, and nothing goes past her - Jared doesn't stand a chance. Metis was a councilor of Zeus during his war against the Titans and hatched the plan which would make Cronus regurgitate Zeus's siblings. (She's also the mother of Athena - pls read her story it's incredible! ಥ_ಥ)

The Swan Family

Bella is a shield, both in her human life and as a vampire. She does what she can to protect her loved ones, even going as far as to sacrifice herself by drawing blood as a distraction during the battle against Victoria. Soteria is the goddess and personification of safety, deliverance, and protection from harm. Deliverance, the action of being rescued or set free, is appropriate since Bella saved Edward from his inner demons as well.

Charlie represents the human laws in Twilight as a police officer. He's calm and more accepting than most (though he has his limits *cough* Edward *cough*). Rhadamanthys was a famously just lawmaker during his mortal life and was appointed as one of the three Judges of the Dead and King of the Elysian Fields after he died.

Renée tends to shift her hobbies and interests from one to another. Horme is the personification of effort and represents setting oneself in motion, and starting an action.

The Volturi

Aro is the current king and ruler of the vampires. He isn't a philanderer, so Zeus was out, but how he murdered his sister, Dinyme, in cold blood to keep Marcus from leaving the Volturi (and thus losing his power) reminds me of Cronus's desperate attempt to thwart his prophesied defeat at the hands of his child. Cronus ate his own children and familicide was one of the worst crimes you could commit in ancient Greece.

Marcus was DEPRESSED after he lost Didyme, his mate. The guy whispered "finally" when his head was about to be ripped off. Penthos is the personification of lamentation and mourning.

Caius is a sadist whose answer for everything is death and destruction. Ares revels in war for its own sake. He delights in the din and roar of battles, in the slaughter of men, and the destruction of towns. When Thanatos (the grim reaper) went missing, and people stopped dying, Ares sulked and famously said: "What's the point of war if no one dies?"

Jane was easy. She experienced such pain when she was burning at the stake that she could wield it with her mind when she became a vampire. Lupe is one of The Algea, who are three sisters that are the personification of pain and suffering - in both body and mind - grief, sorrow, and distress.

Alec's power reminded me of Hypnos, who puts you to sleep before Morpheus gives you dreams. Alec shuts off all of your senses - kind of like turning the off switch.

Sulpicia isn't given much of a personality in canon, and in Life and Death, Smeyer simply turned her into a female Aro by giving her his abilities of tactile telepathy. She deserves more credit; she's incredibly old, and I like to think that while she's locked up in the tower, Sulpicia keeps up with the times by watching the news on TV or reading news articles on the internet. Mnemosyne was the Titan goddess of memory and represented the rote memorization required to preserve the stories of history and myth before the introduction of writing.

Didyme's power was inducing happiness. Euphrosyne was one of the three Charities and the goddess of good cheer, mirth, merriment, and joy.

Athenodora is said to be one of the oldest vampires still walking the earth. We don't know much about her, but I bet she's created a few vampires in her time to keep the species going. Gaia was born at the dawn of creation, and all of the heavenly gods are her descendants.

Corin's addictive power is what persuades the wives and Chelsea to stay content in their imprisonment. You go through severe withdrawal by leaving, but it can be done since Eleazar, whose ability Aro coveted, left with Carmen. Peitho personifies persuasion and seduction - not 100% fitting to Corin's talents but the best I could think of...

Felix is a high-ranking guard and relies on strength and combat techniques to serve his leaders. His physical capabilities are so powerful that he has maintained within the guard for centuries. Alexiares, whose name means unconquerable, is one of two brothers that preside over defense and fortification of Olympus's gate.

Demitri's tracking ability and "Casanova lifestyle" immediately reminded me of Hermes, who is the god of herds, travelers and hospitality, roads and trade, thievery and cunning, heralds and diplomacy. It's fitting because Demitri is also shown to be polite and restrained, but he undoubtedly has a few aces up his sleeves to have survived in the Volturi guard for centuries.

Chelsea's ability to strip people of their emotional ties and forge new ones is unnerving. Ananke was the primordial goddess of necessity, compulsion, and inevitability. She emerged from Chaos fully formed at the beginning of all creation and is thought to be untouchable by all, from mortals and the immortals. She's able to control the fates of other gods and make them slaves to their own urges if she so chooses.

Afton's ability to make himself invisible is not found in any Greek deity, but Hades owns a helmet which is made of darkness and renders the user invisible.

The Denali Coven

Eleazar's ability to see other's potential reminds me of Prometheus's forethought and the unshakable belief he has in the humans Zeus forced him to create.

Carmen is pretty chill and peaceful from what we get to see of her in Breaking Dawn. She isn't overly troubled by the legality of things since she accepts Renesmee, whose existence goes against both the laws of vampires and those of nature, at once. We see that Carmen is maternal and gentle when she asks if she can hold Renesmee. Eirene is the personification of peace, and for Carmen, I interpreted that as personal peace and not upholding the legal system. Statues of Eirene often depict her as a maiden holding the infant Ploutos (Wealth) in her arms.

Kate is OOOLD but not the oldest vampire in existence. Since the power of lightning is solely in Zeus's domain (and Kate isn't a serial rapist), I had to overlook her electric ability. Electricity is used as a source of light, so I think Hemera is a good choice for Kate. She's the primordial goddess of the day and would disperse her mother Nyx's dark mists every morning to bathe the earth in the light from the ether.

Tanya reminds me of the Titaness Eos because they both have an insatiable desire for handsome men. Eos shares Hemera's domain, and later took over her duty of bringing the dawn to earth by opening the gates for Helios's chariot.

Irina thought the Cullens had created an immortal child, which was the outlawed. To her, it seemed like the Cullens thought they were above their laws and reported them to the Volturi accordingly. Nemesis is the goddess who exacted retribution against those who succumb to hubris.

The Irish Coven

Maggie can detect lies. Aletheia's the personification of truth and sincerity.

Siobhan's talent is outcome manipulation, which I assume means she can affect the outcome of some event. Lachesis was the second of the Three Fates. She distributes the 'thread' of a life. "Lanchano" means to obtain by lot, by fate, or by the will of the gods.

The Amazon Coven

Zafrina's ability of visual projection reminded me of Pasithea's past time of inducing hallucinations and relaxation. She was one of the younger Charities but later married Hypnos and now resides with him in the Underworld.  

Kachiri was the first out of the Amazon Coven to be bitten, but she didn't want to be separated from her two best friends, Senna and Zafrina, so she went back and turned them as well. I'm endlessly fascinated by their coven, so I didn't want to separate them here! Macaria is the goddess of "blessed" death which reminded me of how Kachiri came to collect her friends.

Senna is the quiet one, but that might be because she was wary around the Cullens. Gorgyra is a nymph in the Underworld and gave birth to Hade's orchardist. I can see her chilling with Katchiri and Zafrina in her son's orchard.

James’s Coven

James is an asshole. He’s so petty that he couldn't deal with the Cullen's refusal of sharing their meal, so he tricked Bella into coming to him by pretending to have her mother (how would he know who Renée was and wasn't she in Jacksonville??? Use your brain, Bella). Dolos is the personification of trickery, cunning deception, treachery, and guile - so basically, he's a nasty piece of work. He and James deserve each other.

Victoria was the first one I cast. She instantly reminded me of Hera because instead of punishing her husband/mate for his wandering eyes (greedy, in James's case) she goes to great length to punish Edward by trying to kill Bella, who is the innocent one in this whole shitshow. Hera, the goddess of marriage, should have picked a better husband because Zeus already was notorious for panting after every attractive face that came his way before they wed (heck he even cheated on her during their wedding celebration).

Laurent didn't give me a lot to work with since he's only portrayed as a coward. That doesn't seem correct because he came back to warn the Cullen's of James's plans and he later returned to Forks as a favor to Victoria. Epimetheus, the brother of Prometheus, was the Titan god of afterthought and excuses. I think Laurent regretted his decisions in the end, both for having traveled with James, and for having listened to Victoria. He also gave Bella the excuse that he had to kill her since Victoria was his old buddy.

Nomads

Peter was another difficult choice. At first, I thought Thanatos might be a good choice since Peter enjoyed fighting in Maria's army.  Thanatos's gentle touch kills instantly, but Jasper was the one who killed the newborns. Peter fell in love with Charlotte, whose newborn powers eventually expired, but instead of "delivering" Charlotte to her death, Peter told her to run and chased after her. Kharon (Charon) transported the dead across the waters to Hades in his boat but refused those that couldn't pay for the ride.

Charlotte is a survivor. She isn't a fighter by nature, but she made it through the Southern vampire wars alive and then fled with Peter to roam free as a nomad. Nike is the goddess of victory - both in war and in peaceful competition. I think Charlotte conquered all of life's trials and also when it came to love.

Alistair is an ancient hermit. He's suspicious by nature and rather displeased with his lot in life. I don't blame the guy since he was betrayed by his father and as a vampire, the falcons Alistair loved flew away from him in terror. Ouranos was the primordial god of the sky and was later betrayed by his sons.

Garrett was a hotheaded patriot who willingly fought for the colonies' right to self-govern. He was a true believer in the American dream. Menoetius was the god of rash actions and violent rage. The Greek word “menos” means might, force, passion, and battle rage.

Maria isn't a nomad, but I thought I'd include her on the list. She lived in Monterrey with her coven, her mate and two others that were like parents to her, before they were destroyed in the vampire battle for territory. Maria was the only survivor, and she built an army to extract revenge and get her territory back. Poine is the personified spirit of retribution, vengeance, recompense, punishment, and penalty for the crime of murder and manslaughter.

The Egyptian Coven

Benjamin was a tough one because of his elemental powers. The Greek gods divided the four elements between them, so there isn't one deity that has control over them all at once. Phanes was the primordial god of creation in the Orphic cosmogony. He was the generator of life and the driving force behind reproduction in the early cosmos. Phanes hatched from the world-egg, a primordial mix of elements split into its constituent parts. So he sort of had control over the elements at one point before dispersing them among his siblings. (Phanes was later known as Eros).

Tia was a quiet woman but when she did speak her words were insightful, and there was gravity to everything she said. Epiphron was the personification of shrewdness, careful consideration, and sagacity.

Kebi was Amun's slave while she was human. He chose her to become his mate because of her good looks. She was helpless from the start, and we never get to hear her speak or show any indication of being unhappy with her situation. Aporia is the personified spirit of powerlessness, want and difficulty.

Amun was tricky because, to be honest, he's a bastard, but we mustn't forget cultural relativity. Slavery was considered to be a-okay back in the days, and it was probably a fantastic way to keep a vampire's kitchen stocked. Now not so much but Amun doesn't seem like the type to evolve with the times. He's possessive and paranoid, keeping Benjamin locked away in an ivory tower so the Volturi won't come and steal him away as they did to Demitri. He also deprived Kebi of her choices and made her his slave/mate in death as well. Along with ruling death and funeral rites, Hades is also the god of the hidden wealth of the earth, from the fertile soil with nourished the seed-grain to the mined wealth of gold, silver, and other metals. Benjamin is Amun's hidden treasure.

Humans

Jessica is a normal teenage girl. She likes having friends, gossiping, and has a crush on the most handsome boy in school who doesn't return her affections. Echo was much the same; she gossiped, but she wasn't meanspirited, and genuinely wanted to help her friends in the conquest of love. She lied to Hera, who cursed her to have an echo of a voice as punishment for distracting her from Zeus's affairs with her endless chatter. She later fell in love with Narcissus who spurned her affections.

Angela is the sweetest, most kindhearted person we get to meet in Twilight. Philophrosyne is one of the younger Charities and is the personification of friendliness and welcome.

Mike has the hots for Bella. He has an on-and-off relationship with Jessica but only asked her out because Bella told him to. Himeros is the god of sexual desire and the personification of longing, and yearning.

Lauren is jealous of everyone who is pretty, despite being the most popular girl at school. She's also standoffish and snobby. Hybris is the personified spirit of insolence, hubris, violence, reckless pride, arrogance and outrageous behavior in general.

Let me know what you think!

Please don’t repost the pictures without asking for permission first and don’t remove credit!

[aion-rsa]

Stewart Copeland on How The Police Found Synchronicity Under the Volcano

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Gracie Otto’s documentary Under the Volcano tells the story of a rock star paradise which became a modern Atlantis. Air Studios Montserrat, the recording studio built by The Beatles’ producer George Martin in 1979, captured the truest sounds of the biggest musical acts of the 1980s before it succumbed to the island’s natural disasters. Custom-built in the shadow of the active Soufrière Hills volcano, AIR generated its own heat. Songs recorded at the studio burned up the charts, and reinvigorated burnt out artists.

Paul McCartney retreated to the remote musical getaway shortly after receiving the devastating news about the murder of John Lennon. Paul recorded Tug of War, one of his best post-Beatle works there, as well as Pipes of Peace. He flew in Stevie Wonder, who jammed at a local club until the early hours, for harmonic collaboration. The Rolling Stones reunited to record Steel Wheels, bringing Keith Richards together with Mick Jagger for the first time since their respective solo recordings. The Police took a different direction.

Formed in London in 1977, The Police rode the punk wave to international fame and the pressures of delivering on their musical promise. With Sting on lead vocals and bass guitar, Andy Summers on guitar, and Stewart Copeland on drums, this was not a three-chord, minimalist-mode trio. Merging rock changes, reggae-downbeats, and jazz-chord augmentations, they needed space to expand their reach.

To record Ghost in the Machine, they also wanted to be out of reach of record company suits. They went to Montserrat for the isolation, not only from the pop world, but for each individual track recorded. The studio afforded amazing separation. The band didn’t even have to be in the same room while recording at the same time. Stewart wound up playing drums in a dining room.

The Police was Copeland’s band, Sting was just in it. Much like the era’s tabloids would’ve had us believe it was Sting’s world and we just lived here. Stewart founded the band, wrote its manifesto, and is still deranging its sonic possibilities. He spoke with Den of Geek about the documentary Under the Volcano, and how The Police lost and found Synchronicity at George Martin’s AIR Studios Montserrat,

Den of Geek: I was just talking to a drummer friend who left a band we were in to play in a Police cover band. He wanted me to ask about how you approach the drums.

Stewart Copeland: Usually from behind, which sounds really weird, actually. Let me rephrase that.

Did George Martin ever actually say anything about Andy dancing on the soundboard?

Not that I ever heard. In fact, I did a concert with him many years later and it didn’t come up. In fact, I did a television interview with him, a documentary about music that he was making and it didn’t come up. By the way, no damage was done. Those things are built to withstand heavy metal bands. And Andy’s only little. He had very sure footing. Didn’t break anything. And by the way, I’ve seen that console, that exact same console. I’ve seen it at the A&M #1 studio in Los Angeles. I’ve seen it in several other studios that claim that “that is the Neve [Electronics, which made the mixing console] upon which Andy danced.”

I also watched Jools Holland’s short film on the Police at Montserrat film from ’81. I wanted to know about “underwater golfing” and all the other non-musical pastimes that were available.

Sting and Andy probably went underwater golfing a lot, but they never invited me, damn it.

Was Montserrat really the ultimate in rockstar privilege?

Yes, you could say that. Absolutely. There were a lot of rock and roll diversions that are available in Cleveland that are not available on the island. But as far as the paradisiacal environment, absolutely; and being waited on hand and foot. Great food, great situation. I think in the documentary, they mentioned how some bands kind of just hit the swimming pool deck chairs and never woke up and were half asleep. We weren’t because we tormented each other so fiercely that we were fully awake.

I know that you sent Andy Summers to ask George Martin about producing, but did he ever pop in while you were in the studio?

No. He popped over once or twice for dinner, studiously avoiding any moments that we might be working so that he wouldn’t be roped in.

I guess maybe he learned a thing or two in producing all the music that he produced. And one of the things he learned is to not get between rabid dogs who are trying to tear each other’s throats out.

Would Synchronicity have sounded any different if you weren’t at odds with each other at the time?

It’s hard to say. If we had arrived at our decision points or the forks in the road, should we do this or should we do that? You know, saxophone solo or guitar solo? Punk version or reggae version? Other stuff, you know. If we had approached these debates more congenially, would we have arrived at a different result? Probably not. And I guess we’re all happy at the end of the day. The experience of making those records was very rigorous, but at the end of the day, we all appreciate the result.

You worked with George Martin on the ’99 Hollywood Bowl Orchestra Beatles show. What was he like to work with?

Excellent. It mainly was working with his son [Giles Martin], his consiglieri, who’s also interviewed in the documentary. But working with him, he’s just a profoundly musical man. Music is what he knows, does, and he makes it very clear what’s needed, what everybody should do.

It was a strange thing. He rehearsed for three days for that show and the first day the word went out and I was the only person who showed up, me and my bass player buddy, Armand [Sabal-Lecco]. So, we learned the material. By the third day, everybody had showed up. Every guitarist in town, everybody, but I was already planted on the drums so everyone else can piss off.

But on guitar, all these session guys had every- who doesn’t know exactly the patch and the fingering of every single Beatles lick? And it was kind of interesting to hear everybody completely nail it in their different kinds of ways. And also on the drums, I was never that big a Beatles fan, but when I sort of made my own tape of the proposed songs. He sent a set list and I started playing [Sings opening of “I Want To Hold Your Hand”].

I mean, I knew it. My hands knew it. My body knew the song without my brain ever thinking about how the song goes. You just know when the chorus is coming. Yep, this is the chorus. [Sings]. But you know, it’s musical muscle memory, and don’t even get me started on the connection between memory and music.

I recently did a piece on the Concert for Bangladesh and I watched Ringo and Jim Keltner double up and play in unison. I watched the video of you and Ginger Baker playing off each other. Have you ever played in unison with another drummer and who would you like to do that with?

It’s a very strange exercise. Non-drummers seem to think it’s a good idea, and I won’t mention any names, I don’t get it. Guitarists hate to have another guitarist plugged in, God damn it, you know.

Drummers love other percussion. Bongos, shakers, tambourines, you name it, bring it on. Let’s have everybody smacking something. But two drum sets? That don’t make it sound fatter. They don’t really complement each other. My preference would be a drummer, but not in a drum set, doing something else. Like the contrast that fulfills a different function. I don’t really get the two-drummer thing.

Do you still consciously count when you’re drumming?

Yes. When learning something, I count it out, figure out what it is, but then once I’ve learned it, I don’t count it anymore. I just know it. But yes, sometimes when things are tricky and you actually need to hit a certain hit because that’s what everything else is doing. Yes. It helps to count it out. “Ah, that’s where it is. It’s the end of three,” you know? And then once you’ve got that, you don’t need to refer to the numbers anymore. That’s just to find it.

I subscribe to you on YouTube, and just this morning got an email blast about Police Deranged for Orchestra.

That is going to be a blast. That is going to be the most fun show ever. I’ve got Armand Sabal-Lecco on bass, Rusty Anderson on guitar. His day job is playing with Paul McCartney as it happens. He’s been doing that for 20 years or so. Armand from Cameroon, the Prince of Cameroon is a monster.

Moving up the hierarchy, the three singers, they’ve got three soul sisters on the mic singing the songs, but behind us is the mighty San Diego Symphony in San Diego. And when we get to Cleveland, it’s a mighty Cleveland Orchestra.

And then we’re playing in Atlanta, Buffalo, Nashville, L.A., and it’s really, it’s pretty exciting. I spent a lot of time creating the orchestral arrangements or derangements and some of the songs are quite faithful with the form, but others, I deranged.

There are two things. Why orchestra? I’m the drummer in a rock band? What am I doing in the orchestra? That’s a long story. With 20 years as the film composer, I had a forced education in orchestration. But why deranged is because back in the day I had a Super 8 camera, a film camera, and I shot all the stuff, the whole rise, and then put it in shoe boxes and forgot about it until they invented computers and hard drives and Final Cut Pro.

And I had a moment, I was busy making little movies of my children and I thought, “Wait a minute. I’ve got boxes and boxes of really cool stuff of the rollercoaster ride, the rocket ship of The Police.”

So, I dug it all out, 52 hours, and made a movie. And it was kind of the home movie from hell. But somebody persuaded me to send it to the Sundance and the Sundance was, “Whoa, bring it on over.” And they invited me to participate in the festival. Oh, darn. I had to finish it and make it.

It ends up I sold it to Showtime and it became a feature film for which I needed music, preferably Police music. However, what I learned in film in my 20 years before the masters, the hired gun, is that music must serve the picture. And if the picture takes a left, so must the music.

However, those original Police recordings didn’t take a left. They carried right on because they had some other agenda, mainly being a song. So, I had to cut the stuff up and I had to go back into the masters. But once the scalpel was out, this is fun. I got all the masters of those recordings, as well as live recordings. I found long lost guitar solos, other lyrics.

And I found that Sting’s songwriting was quite modular, so I could take the lyrics of this song, put them on the riff of that song. And I went a little batshit crazy on the whole enterprise and kind of overdid it. And when my colleagues heard, “What is Stewart doing? He’s over there taking our master tapes and cutting entirely new music?”

“Calm down guys. It’s just for the movie.” And so, they calmed down and I think they actually kind of appreciated the result at the end of the day, as long as I’m not trying to make a record and rewrite Police history. But now I am rewriting Police history. By taking those derangements, those weird arrangements where I found all these different melodies and guitar lines and put them in the orchestra, that’s what we’re doing.

About half the material is the original song, and I did make the orchestra do very cool stuff with it. But the other half are these different versions of songs, different melodies and so on. With the three women singing, I get to get all of the Sting harmonies that he did in the studio, as well as the improvisations he did on stage, and the same with Andy.

This exercise has really reminded me, in fact, even more than reminded me: it’s really woken me up to the genius of both of those two guys, the stuff they came up with. I was busy banging shit. I hardly even noticed what Andy was doing, but now I’m deep into what Andy was doing with a much higher degree of appreciation.

As you’re developing all of this for orchestration and ripping it apart, and also with the benefit of knowing how each of you developed post-Police, where do you think the band might’ve gone musically as a continuing unit?

Just the other day, pursuant to flogging the Police Deranged orchestra shows, and I’m sort of looking for images to use for posters, I came across the orchestral performance that I did in Germany, where I’m actually on the podium conducting. We did do “The Equalizer” theme and I’m conducting with a drumstick. The orchestra are all totally, you can see in the picture, they’re all leaning forward. They’re really into it, it’s a really intense thing. And I’m up there waving my stick and it’s this big ass orchestra.

I sent it to Sting a couple of days ago. And I said, “This is how we should have run The Police.” And he wrote back and he said, “So I’m second fiddle?” To which I responded, “Stingo, you will always be first fiddle.”

Also, knowing all this stuff from the inside out with the notation and all that, how do you think The Police would go forward now as a creative unit moving into new territory?

Not so much because we know what we’re doing. And my humble estimation is we got two more albums out of Sting than we deserved. So, he actually was the reason I was overcome by homicidal rage and I felt the urgent necessity of throttling him was because he would come over and say, “Hey, do this or that with the drums.” “Fuck off.” You know?

What made it so urgent was that he wasn’t wrong. He sort of does actually know how to arrange a song and arrange the band and his ideas are pretty good. That doesn’t mean I listened because I was a young prick myself and I had my own ideas, which would prevail. But he’s really good at that stuff.

We, today, if we tried to recreate that, are too independently minded and we have continued to grow in the 30 years since our last collaboration and in a different direction. And at this point in our lives, music has a different function for us. For me, it’s this. The reason I make music is for these reasons, and this is what I like to achieve with music. And for others, they have a completely different agenda of what music is for and what it’s supposed to do and how it’s supposed to be made.

It requires more patience. I’m actually more patient. I would say that for me, there is not one musical truth, because I got beat up. For 20 years, I was told exactly what emotion is required. And I had to learn to create exactly that for my boss, the director who is actually the artist. I’m just a craftsman.

So, I learned to be very malleable but also didn’t really understand how to work different emotions very specifically. Other members of the band who have never suffered under the lash of cruel employment are unrestrained, and have a strange idea that there is only one musical truth and no experience in life has ever shaken that core belief. Which means that when I’ve got to deal with that mindset, it’s unrewarding.

And by the way, I say this with love and admiration in my heart, this is not a gripe, believe me. I’m just explaining why we enjoy each other’s company over dinner and really have a deep abiding admiration and love. But just we get into the studio together and we’re not copacetic.

Going on stage, by the way, playing those songs. That’s a different thing. That’s really exciting because of the emotional charge that it has on an 80,000 people stadium, well, that’s exciting. For the audience, that’s exciting. Never mind my ideas about what music is for. Who cares? Look at that audience going like that. That’s why I’m here on the planet.

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[lostedges]

Mary, and the old house.

I’ve started making drawings of Mary. I’ve spoken already on this thread about how lockdown and the restriction of physical movement has turned my attention inwards. It’s a time of collective grief, for all that has been missed, and a time of longing. As sometimes happens, the feeling of longing for one thing has reminded me of other losses. I’ve bought a big canvas. I feel that I might be on the right track, because I don’t know how to proceed. I want to paint Mary, life sized and seated. To create a presence out of her absence. It feels like a conjuring out of love and grief.

She died in 1994. It was October. I was in Bath in student halls in my first year of Art college. I’d just been shelved by a girl I had fallen for. The sun had gone down quickly.  Suddenly my Mam, Paul and Nigel were there, out of place and at the wrong time. Like a photo spliced badly into another. The incongruity of the familiar that a death brings. They’d come to bring me home. I stayed and went home later in the week on the train. I still don’t know why, but suspect it was a way of postponing and denying the split between past and present. It feels indecent to me now, after they drove two hours to be kind and gentle, but can’t be changed. I’ve always been blunt and socially insensitive but moreso and oblivious of it when young.  I barely remember the funeral. There were so many at that time; years of loss and ruin, and they have blurred and joined beyond separation. Her death hurt me. I tried to ignore the affects for years. At this time I feel her absence. I miss my family who died.

As I approach the store of memory it resists me with its size of feeling. Start small. Both of my parents worked. Every day after school, I would go to her house. Houses.

The old house. Strange house. Interface with another time, where it had gathered like dust in corners of unused rooms. A big family who had mostly moved out, leaving traces in lonely rooms. The front room, which had once been the shop – Oak shop, the family business. Big window. I’d lived there for a short time as a child when my parents first moved from Cardiff to Ystrad Mynach, presumably in late 1974, or early 1975. I have an early memory, perhaps the earliest, of waking to light shining through blankets, different blankets, different patterns of light. One with wide dashes of red on a dark grey background, like the interior spaces of the death star in star wars. The front room was also Nigel’s room for a while. As a child I enjoyed going there – he had comics, a guitar, a stereo, house plants, my eyes wide. In that room, at a small table, my grandfather taught me to play chess.

Upstairs there was a room filled with books in random stacks. Like a mini Gormenghast within another. Start of an early relationship with books and with illustrations. Milligans’ ark, some thelwell cartoons, maybe st.trinians and Searle. Another that I can’t place. A broken record player.

Adrian’s room, quiet, private. A typewriter for a poet. An excellent illustrator who never made it to art school. Gardener and habitual walker. A man I loved, who taught me to clown with children.

My mam’s room, quiet, restrained and humble as you might expect if you knew her.

The bathroom with a big bath with big swollen brass taps, and a light switch on a long string that I would play with, swinging it around enjoying the lazy protracted pendulum movement through space, with a click of connection at the end of the arc, and satisfying return to my hand.

 At the heart of the house was the middle room. Big room. Two doors, one to the kitchen, the other to the hall. Dark room. Window and door to the kitchen, the only light. Inside, was TV, smoke and shadows. My grandfather, rolling cigarettes on a tray or smoking them. Around the room, objects he’d gathered overseas in the merchant Navy. Stories of the zombies and tidal waves he’d seen around the pacific. Wooden fishermen and elephants I’d polish with red stained hands. Pictures made with the blue wings of butterflies, glinting in the dark. He summoned a spirit in the room, he told me, its hooves stamping on the wooden beam between room and kitchen. From the darkness I could watch Mary in the kitchen. I remember bacon fried in lard, potato scallops, brown chips. My grandfather would eat a plate of burnt onions and melted cheese, stretching strings from plate to fork and whisps clinging to lips and moustache. He was an expert shot with a used tissue from chair to coal fire, and I would watch him snore with baited breath as he paused for the longest seconds between breath in and breath out.

The corridor outside the middle room ran from the front door to the back room. The floor would clatter as I walked on it, alongside an intake of anxious breath if I ever ran out there. I later found out that there had been a huge subsidence under that part of the house from mineworks underneath, a drop to death into the cold and the dark. At the end of the corridor was a hallstand, which had an abandoned, forgotten quality. I would look in the draw and there was one glove. It was brown leather with a fur lining. A shiny pearlescent red button which mesmerised me. I assume it was my grandma’s, from her younger days when she was the smartest lady in town. For me an early hint at fascination with colour and light. There I learnt the quietness of staircases as I sat and waited for Mam to come home from work, the light filtered through net curtains and the bubbled glass of the front door.

The back room. Chairs by the fireplace rarely used. Although my grandfather would visit to listen to the radio, which had a sweet wrapper stuck in the dial. The pantry, a small cupboard at the back of the room, full of odds and ends, a box of snooker and billiard balls that I would get down to play with. Big fungus, some sort of rot. Dennis Wheatley books, strange exotic titles, my grandfather’s interest in the strange. The piano, which we played out of tune as children. Grampy could play Jazz and boogie woogie, but I never heard him play a note. There was a sideboard, with two black plastic money boxes in. Black horses heads from Lloyds which reminded me of my grandfathers chess pieces, containing shoe money which Adrian had put aside for us. In another draw were cut up strips of cardboard cornflake boxes which my Grandmother had prepared for shopping lists. I would use them to write up rugby teams – fifteen at the top, down to 9, then rising again from one to eight, the format of backs and forwards which the world adopted following the success of Cardiff, the team I followed with Nigel.

The house has since been converted into flats. Maybe three separate residences. I can’t imagine what it’s like inside. For me it a sealed container, into which I can peer, and remember some of those early layers of experience. I must have been around ten, maybe eleven when they moved next door to us, to the new house.