#there's one little thing and i suddenly get all self-conscious and sensitive again

[unclewaynemunson]

okay i know i should probably just let this slide and not be so dramatic about it but i saw this edit of a bald joe quinn going around on here and the thing is. i know that probably none of those reactions are meant in a malicious way. i don’t wanna be this overly sensitive whiny person. but as a bald person who’s really trying to rock the bald look with the same ease as i wear my wig, it’s those kind of things that kinda feel like a blow to my confidence.

[naivegh0ul]

Just imagine older bf simon coming home to his gf taking a nap on the couch and he just falls in love with her all over again😕 wakes her up with small licks to her clit (with previous consent ofc)

AHHH IM SPIRALING

Yesyesyes you are so smart anon.

Of course, nothing compares to the way Ghost fell in love with you the first time, just the thought of that first day you two met and Ghost fell head over heels for you is enough to make him sigh contently, happy with his life as it is.

But that doesn't mean that he doesn't like the feeling of falling in love with you again. He falls in love at the smallest of things, seeing you cooking in his kitchen, hips swaying and head rocking as you hum along the lyrics to a song, or seeing you in his clothes as you struggle to pick an outfit for your annual date night with him.

When he comes home from a hard day of work, he sees you curled up on the couch, wearing one of his hoodies and his joggers, the band of his underwear peeking out and you snooze.

You make the cutest little noises and shuffle around, trying to get comfortable on the leather couch. Careful not to disturb your peaceful sleep, Ghost steps closer and kneels in front of the couch, staring at your face with a loving, slightly lustful gaze.

He just can't help himself when he sees you. It doesn't matter where you are, the simple act of you being your usual, lovable self is enough to turn Ghost on.

And you've discussed this before so Ghost knows it's okay when he leans forward, one hand groping your tits through his- your sweatshirt and his lips pressed against your unmoving ones.

"Prettiest girl in the world, you are." Ghost mumbles, slipping his hands under the hoodie to feel you up. His hands explore your chest, then your sides, then your stomach, and then they slide down to the waistband of your joggers.

He tugs them down gently, lifting your hips and pulling the fabric down past your thighs. He knew you had his boxers on, but catching one glimpse and getting a front row seat of his loose boxers covering up your perfect body are two very different things.

You seem to stir a little at the disturbance but don't open your eyes. "What are you doing?" You ask groggily. "Nothin'. Go back to sleep, love."

You comply with his orders easily, drifting back off into a peaceful sleep as Ghost shimmies closer to you and pushes his face between your legs, his hands holding your thighs apart as he nudges your clit with his nose through the fabric.

"Fuck, you smell delicious." Ghost's tongue darts out and flicks at your clit through his boxers, wrapping his lips around the sensitive nub as if there's not a cotton barrier in his way.

"Gotta taste you, sweetheart." He talks to you as if you're awake, as if you're paying any attention to the way his hands snake up your plush thighs, squeezing them appreciatively before he pulls the underwear off of your sleeping form.

You're none the wiser when Ghost spreads your lips with his fingers, a lewd, wet sound filling the air, proving that even in your sleep you're still always so wet for Ghost.

He's more aggressive this time. Desperate as he licks a stripe through folds before focusing on your poor swollen clit. He pulls you against his face and laps at you like that's all he's ever wanted from life, a chance to be between your thighs, loving your pretty pussy.

"What are you doing?" You suddenly say, awake and conscious instead of dead asleep like you were two minutes ago. "I love you." Ghost pulls away for just a moment to respond, as if "I love you," is a reasonable answer to your question.

But, damn, if Ghost isn't good at making you mindless on his tongue. It has you struggling to speak, moans coming out of your mouths instead of the full sentence you had planned in your head.

"Love you, too," You settle on. Simple, yet true. "What are you- mmm- what are you doing?" You repeat your question from earlier and you tangle your fingers in Ghost's hair, pulling on the greyish-blond strands as your legs tighten around Ghost's head.

Ghost doesn't respond, moaning against your core as he laps up your juices with his tongue and holds your thighs on either side of his head, encouraging you to squeeze them and squish Ghost between your thighs.

He eats you out like a man starved. There's no need to be gentle now that you're awake and he really wants to taste you, he wants to show you just how much he loves you, and this is the only way he knows how.

He doesn't even need to use his fingers, his tongue doing a good enough job as he drools all over your, his spit and your slick running down his chin as he buries his tongue in your hole and bumps your clit with the tip of his strong nose.

"Love you," Ghost kisses your clit and digs his tongue under the hood, toying with your painfully sensitive bud. "So much. Need you, sweetheart. Wanna show you how much I love you."

[novthewolf]

Hey! so i'm new to this, but I wanted to ask if I could request an Alice Cullen x Fem! reader? One where Alice has been friends with reader since the Cullens moved to Forks and reader finds out the Cullens are vampires on accident which leads to a confession and a small, cute kiss! :)

For sure couldn't foresee that !

Pairing : Alice Cullen x Fem!Reader

Masterlist : Here

Warnings : fluff, dead animal, blood, english isn’t my first language.

Words : +2,6k

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Let the sunshine... let the sunshine in...

This was the song that was blasting in your ears almost every day in your little rainy town. You lived there all your life, and you were almost sure you could bet how many sunny days would occur during the whole year. 'Cause your life here in Forks was this predictable.

The same roads, the same weather, the same days, the same people... Never anything you knew, no sign of new blood in sight. And in a quite ironic way, you were right about that.

A shy ray of sun is trying to shine through the clouds to reach you, in particular at the hospital. What would normally be an uneventful checkup turned out to be much more interesting.

Your mother was complaining about the waiting time, as usual, since Forks's medical staff was always vacant. You sat on top of the table, bored, when a doctor finally came in.

"Sorry for the wait, but don't worry, there's someone coming soon to help us!" She explained that she was obviously ecstatic and needed to share that information with every patient.

That's got your attention. "Someone ?" You inquired as she pressed the stethoscope to your chest, your cold-sensitive skin shivering.

"Oh yes, a very talented doctor is moving to Forks with his family." She smiled brightly, and you mirrored her smile, excited by the news. "We are extremely lucky."

You spent all the time waiting for those 'Cullens'; you kept wishing the doctor's kids wouldn't be toddlers but high schoolers like you. You were in your senior year, and you were so thrilled that you would finally get the chance to experience something new before going off to college.

Obviously, the whole town was bubbling with excitement, except for the reservation's kids, who, for some reason, you spotted less and less. Finally, the Cullens had arrived in Forks, and thankfully, they were indeed high schoolers. However, they were younger than you since they were only in the ninth grade.

Which you instantly thought was the dumbest lie ever. None of them looked like they were fifteen; they were far from that. They were so tall—well,  most of them—and their features were so defined that there was not a speck of childhood left on their faces.

It wasn't the only thing that intrigued you. Yes, you weren't repealed, just fascinated. They were all so pale, but again, so were you from the lack of sun. And the way they moved, how they acted... One especially caught all your attention.

You noticed her a week after she arrived. Alice was her name. You and your friends were making your way through the cafeteria when you felt... observed. As you rubbed the back of your neck, you turned around to watch the furthest table, near the windows.

Two big, seemingly golden eyes were staring right at you. Her hair was deep black, cut short, and messily pointing in every direction. She was incredibly thin, her beautiful white hands proving your thoughts as her chin rested gracefully on them. You blushed when you realized how sweet her smile was. It actually widened once you finally paid attention to her, her eyes sparkling.

She was so petite too—4'10 tops. You didn't even consider yourself a tall person, but compared to her, you almost felt too big. And so gawky, too. Alice was the definition of grace, like a fantasic little fairy. Self-conscious, you quickly averted your gaze and focused instead on the display of food.

With a deep breath, you reached to pick up a tangerine when you suddenly felt a presence right next to you.

"Hello !" A cheerful voice greeted you, earning you a loud gasp and dropping the fruit in the meantime. But Alice caught it mid-air and chuckled. "A pixie tangerine ?"

She handed it to you, and you meekly took it. "It's rich in vitamins." You murmured, not meeting her eyes. Your blush darkened when she laughed again.

"I guess you do need a good substitute for the sun, huh ?" She smiled at you reassuringly. You chuckled nervously, though tension was slowly leaving your body.

"Yeah, that's for sure." You chuckked and observed her some more and felt her energy, which was so refreshing. She was like a ray of the sun herself.

From that day on, you two spent all your time together.

Alice took you shopping at incredibly expensive boutiques, and though you kept insisting on going to thrift shops, she never listened to you. Sometimes she even offered to pay for you, and every time it nearly gave you a heart attack. Alice was dragged to insane parties, ones you could only dream of intending, and you always wondered how someone so young could already have such an active life.

You have so many memories with her, finding joy in what always felt so mondane. The times she stood in between your legs to do your makeup, so close but always using the excuse of bad eye sight when you knew she could spot a sparrow hidden in its tree. But you weren't one to complain, especially when you had the opportunity to stare at her face without looking creepy.

You noticed how much she loved to sing, despite singing way more than was necessary. So, you drove her into town, and you two spent nights singing your hearts out. God, was she physical too ! Always hugging you, interlacing her arm with yours, caressing your hair and cheeks, and holding your hand. And despite how many times it happens, you always end up a blushing mess.

Her siblings didn't seem that enthusiastic about it all. But over time, you slowly made your way through their minds and gained their affection. Especially Edward's, and it saddened you to see him so lonely, even if you couldn't grasp the whole truth.

Your friends—no,  actually, your whole class—were extremely curious about the Cullens, so you were their only source of information. But you cherished your relationship with her too much to share what you had with everyone.

Of course, you were catching feelings for her. How could you not? She was so lively, caring, interesting, and beautiful. And, in a way that made your chest swell with hope, you two never put a label on your relationship. Every time Alice introduced you to anyone, mostly her family, she never called you a 'friend'. No, something that made your heart miss a beat...

"Carlisle ! Here she is, the girl I've been telling you so much about !" Alice chirped and skipped toward her father while holding your hand. She dragged you in front of her, holding your shoulders. "My Y/N !" She smiled proudly.

You were so baffled by the very idea of meeting her parents, and your dear friend was really not helping. But the doctor didn't seem to mind and grinned.

"Hello, Y/N, it's nice to finally meet you and get your real name." He jocked, and you shot him a questioning look. "I just assumed 'angel' or 'little cutie wasn't your real name." He smirked but kept a caring expression.

You gasped loudly and turned absolutely crimson toward the black-haired. "No way, Alice!" You yelled and hid your face in your hands.

"Whaaat ? It's true!" She crooned at you lightheartedly, already walking away. You rushed after her and grabbed onto her worringly cold arm.

"That's not the problem, and you know it!" You mewled, embarrassed out of your mind.

You were so fond of that memory, hence why you were smiling like a moron. Catching feelings ? Yeah, right. You fell in love with her head first, which is what you did. But in spite of your heart, a feeling kept pulling at your gut, murmuring to you that something was off.

And it's true, you did notice some odd behaviors coming from her. Not too freaky, but still queer enough to catch your attention. Some days, where it was supposed to be a simple cloudy sky, Alice would be bringing you a large umbrella. So thanks to her, you were one of the few who stayed dry that day. Plus, she would tell you exactly what subject to study with uncanny precision. And how every time you had your period, she knew it before, even before yourself, and she was ready right away to pamper you into oblivion.

What about her impressive speed, her cold skin, her ever-changing eyes? But again, you were not used to a lot of things, so maybe it was just something she did.

You trusted her so much; surely if anything was truly wrong, you would have seen it coming, right ?

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One faithful day, well, one dumb day, you decided to follow Alice in her monthly walk through the forest. She never forbade you from coming; she just never mentioned it to you. How did you hear about it then? Well, you overheard your common teacher saying that even if the Cullens sometimes didn't come to school, they were still the best in the class.

You noticed it, of course, but hearing from someone else activated your curiosity, and you were dead set on finding out what the hell she was doing. Even if it sounded creepy, you wouldn't hide the fact that you had followed her a couple of times to the forest. But each and every damn time, you lost track of her! Always disappearing rapidly when you try your best to be as steathly as possible.

But you decided that today was going to be the day! And after agonizingly long hours of searching for her, holding your compass for dear life, you finally found her. But you sure didn't expect to find out that too...

The dense forest was illuminated by the soft glow of the spring sun. The rustle of leaves and the occasional hoot of an owl filled the air as you cautiously made your way through the trees, calling out for Alice. As you ventured deeper into the woods, you noticed a faint flicker of movement ahead. You approached slowly, your heart pounding with anticipation and concern. What you saw next froze you in your tracks.

In a small clearing bathed in moonlight, Alice kneeled beside a fallen deer, her lips stained crimson as she lean over its neck. Your breath caught in your throat as you watched the short-haired girl drink deeply from the wound. You stood there, frozen in the middle of the forest, staring at your friend covered in blood.

You whispered, eyes wide with shock. "Alice..?"

Alice's head snapped up, her eyes gleaming with an otherworldly light as she turned to face you. You gulped and took an instinctive step back. Blood drips from her chin as she rises to her feet, a mixture of hunger and guilt swirling in her gaze.

"Y/N... I... I can explain." Just wait a minute." She pleaded before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

You staggered backward when you understood she was trying to control herself. Your mind was reeling with disbelief and fear, and you had to force yourself to stay still. The scene unfolding before you was too much for you to comprehend. Too reel, too sudden, and so, so gruesome. Yet it felt so incredibly ridiculous and surreal.

"Are  you..." You gulped loudly, trying to control your stammer. "You're... you're a vampire ?" Brows furrowed in disbelief at your own words. There was no way...

But, ultimately, Alice nodded slowly, her expression filled with anguish. She never saw you discovering a secret this way. But once again, you showed her how unpredictable you were. She had a general view of your future: meeting her, falling in love with her, and discovering her secret. But any details were robbed, and though it freaked her out, she still saw that in you, finding delight in the way you brought her something new. I like you, in a sense.

A broken cry passed your lips in utter dread, all colors leaving your face while your heart was ready to give. Your friend took a tentative step toward you, her hands outstretched in a gesture of supplication. You whimpered and moved slightly away, your eyes fixed on the blood coloring her lips.

Alice quickly noticed and pleaded once again, wiping the blood away with her sport cloth. "Please Y/N... I didn't want you to find out like this. I never wanted to hurt you."

You felt your fear begin to give way to a surge of conflicting emotions—disbelief, betrayal, and still that flicker of lingering affection. You took another step back, your eyes brimming with tears as you struggled to make sense of it all.

"But.... how long... what ?" You were babbling nonsense while your eyes were frantically looking anywhere but her. "Why didn't you tell me...?"

Alice lowered her gaze, her shoulders slumping with the weight of her confession. She takes a deep breath, searching for your gaze once more, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I wanted to, but... well, I wasn't allowed to. I couldn't." She slowly got closer to you. "I was afraid of losing you... of scaring you away." Her puppy eyes felt different now, even if the red was softly fading away.

Silence hangs heavy between the two of you. You were grappling with the revelation, your mind racing with questions and doubts. Was that the reason she could never hang with you on those rare sunny days ? Why have you spent hours holding her hands in your own hands, trying to warm them up, to no avail? What about the most important thing ?

"Do you... well, do you plan to..." You couldn't finish your sentence; instead, you gestured loosely around your throat.

Alice was now a few feet away and shook her head, a soft smile on her lips. "No, no, never." She brushed the hair out of your face. "Though, you do smell very good."

You didn't know if you were supposed to blush or laugh your heart out, so you did both. The tension was softly fading away, the shivers shaking your body with them, despite the coldness of Alice's skin.

"How old are you then...?" You wondered in a whisper.

She grinned and rocked back and forth on her toes. "How old do you give me ?"

You chuckled and shook your head. "That's unfair.." Alice's hand rested gently on your cheek, and you couldn't lean into it. "Not fifteen, that's for sure."

Her lighthearted laugh filled the forest. "Indeed not." You couldn't help but observe her sparkly eyes and adorable cheekbones. And Alice gave back your loving gaze, which was stronger with time. "Let's just say I've been nineteen for a long time."

Self-conscience came gnawing at you once again, and you looked down. "I must have seen quite a lot of amazing people along the way."

This time, she craddled your face in her hands, tilting your head back up. "Yeah, but the one I was looking forward to meeting the most was you." Though you couldn't understand how true it was, to reduce the red on your cheeks.

The sun was coming out from behind the clouds and through the branches, delicately caressing Alice's pale skin. A soft gasp escaped your lips when you saw her skin glimmering like thousands of diamonds. Amused and softened by your reaction, she leaned and whispered only a few inches from your lips.

"And you are adorable." She didn't give you enough time to dismiss her statement, as she swiftly leaned in and placed a little peck on your lips. Your brain shorted out so much that it didn't even register the slight taste of iron.

"We can take it as slow as you want... After all, who knows what the future holds ?" She jested in a hused tone, her eyes squinting and a tender smile curling along the sides of her lips.

You chuckled and nuzzled at her hands. "As long as you don’t eat, I think it'll be okay." She laughed once again and kissed the tip of your nose.

With your little sunshine by your side, whatever the future had in stock, you were sure it would be bright.

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[trippinsorrows]

Now that Dulce is gettin shine too, a random thought came where Roso are gettin' all hot 'n heavy, but little fur baby bursts in and kills the vibe? Like, can we see them gettin' all steamy, but then the puppy comes outta nowhere and starts barkin', makin' 'em stop and go all cute and stuff 🐾💕 hehe😝😝

coming home for an afternoon workout and subsequent lunch might become roman's favorite part of the day. good food is one thing, but having his fine ass wife laid out on their dining room table is a different kind of cuisine.

dessert at its finest.

of course, she tries to protest, voice soft as he kneads her breast. he can never get enough of those. "roman, we c--can't."

his mouth, sucking on her neck, in that spot he's noticed makes her fingers scrape against his taut skin. "says who?" his hand travels from her breast, down to her stomach, gently squeezing the pudge he knows she's still so self-conscious about, hence his determination to strip her bare of all inhibitions. "i'll take you anywhere i want to. this table...that sofa....the balcony....."

solana moans underneath his expert touch, bringing a smug on his face. that suddenly just became a to-do list he's more than willing to get started on right now.

roman moves his hand lower, slipping under the flowy little dress she decided to put on today, not knowing it would land her right where she is. his finger tease her opening, unsurprised to find her nectar practically dripping. roman's dick twitches in his pants. "i love how wet you get for me, baby." she's so fucking sensitive to any and all things regarding him, and he loves it. "how do you wan--"

he's interrupted, and if it was a human interruption, the other person might be dead by now. but, it's not. it's a four legged interruption, a bark that's quite pathetic to say it's coming from a dog.

"go away." it's an easy dismissal, roman going to enter one finger into his wife's pretty pussy when she presses her thighs together, hindering him.

he looks up at solana who weakly informs, "she--she needs to use the bathroom."

"she can wait." it's an easy choice. "i can't." he gently tries to pry her legs apart when dulce barks again, taking it up a notch as she runs up and jumps against roman's leg. he turns his glare on her, instructing, "go use your pad."

solana whines for a different, much less interesting reason, sitting up a bit on her elbows. "roman...."

he sighs, "sol, she's fine. now lay back down and tell me how you want me---"

once again, dulce refuses to be the quiet little puppy that she's been every other time he's tried to be intimate with his wife. but not this time, because she's barking again, louder, running in a circle.

"it'll only take a couple minutes," solana suggests.

roman, however, knows better. "no, she's gonna walk around and bark at the air for a good 10 minutes before she even pisses. my dick is hard as fuck right now, baby. i'm not trying to wait---"

the barking turns to whimpering as dulce lays on her stomach, ears down. roman closes his eyes and mentally counts backwards from ten, something that only sometimes works. thankfully, this is one of those times.

"fine," he finally agrees, standing up and watching with all the disappointment as solana sits up and moves off the table. "but as soon as she's done--"

"i know," she cuts him off, hand on his chest, leaning up to kiss his cheek as she almost nervously whispers, "your mouth...i want your mouth."

roman nearly bursts in his pants, hand coming down on her ass as she guides dulce to the backdoor.

that dog is getting a fucking muzzle.

-----

not exactly what you said, friend, but figured i'd whip up something real quick! 😂

[august-anon]

Dancing Away

Hello hello! Here is my @squealing-santa gift for the very cool @/wrestling!anon!!

I tried to pick out two of your prompts and did my best to hit them both, so I hope you enjoy! I also only went with two of the characters listed (Astarion and Wyll) because I feel like I can't quite grasp Gale's characterization yet, and I'm still only in Act 2 of my playthrough thanks to work so I have no idea what Halsin's deal is yet lol. I figured I'd write best with my own game's romance (Wyll) and the character I get the most spoilers for online (Astarion) lol. I hope my characterization works out well enough, and once again, I hope you (and other readers) enjoy!!

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Fandom: Baldur’s Gate 3

Ship(s): Astarion/Wyll

Characters (lee/ler): Switch!Astarion/Switch!Wyll

Word Count: 2250 words

Summary: When Wyll asked Astarion to dance, he did not expect it to end in such a ticklish situation. He had no intentions of letting this go without a bit of revenge.

[ao3 link]

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Dancing, Astarion thought. How sickeningly sweet.

But of course, it was Wyll. Astarion wasn’t sure what else he had expected. He was rather the fairytale prince type, not really the kind you take for a quick romp in the forest. In fact, Astarion doubted Wyll would agree even if he suggested it. A younger man may have found it romantic, but Astarion only found it to be a hindrance. It tended to be much harder to manipulate people without sex involved, in his experience.

That is, if Astarion even wanted to keep going through with that plan. It was all so much easier before feelings got involved.

Of course, none of his plans meant that Astarion was willing to drop his snark entirely. “Tell me, does this actually work for you?”

Wyll raised an eyebrow at him and, of course being the cheeky little thing he was, suddenly pushed Astarion out into a wide spin before pulling him close once more. “You tell me. You’re the one who accepted the offer to dance.”

“Come now, darling. You can’t tell me that you don’t crave a bit more… physicality, hm? Intimacy?” He pulled Wyll even closer, adjusting his grip to be just this side of innocent.

Wyll laughed, his eyes cutting to the side to avoid Astarion’s. Astarion could hear his pulse quicken, could smell the blood rush beneath his skin.

“I’d say this is rather physical already,” Wyll said, “wouldn’t you?”

“Oh, you know what I meant.” 

Astarion snuck a few fingers beneath the hem of Wyll’s tempting little cropped shirt, sliding them up his side – only, he didn’t get very far. Wyll made a strange, strangled noise in the back of his throat as he buckled in on that side, now dancing away from Astarion instead of alongside him. Astarion froze in his tracks.

“Too far?”

Wyll stood up straight, rubbing at the back of his neck with that horribly endearing self-conscious chuckle of his. “No, no, sorry. You did nothing wrong.” He chuckled again. “Just a bit ticklish there, is all.”

A predatory grin spread across Astarion’s lips and he swept in close to Wyll once more, wrapping an arm around his waist to pull him flush. He watched Wyll’s throat bob. “So open with such sensitive information, my dear.” He tsked. “Seems a bit unwise, doesn’t it?”

Wyll rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. Everyone’s at least a little ticklish somewhere – would do me no use in hiding it, now would it?” 

As he spoke, Wyll’s fingers snuck up Astarion’s own side, repeating the same motion that had Wyll dancing out of his arms. Astarion gasped at the sensation, wrenching himself from their embrace entirely on instinct. The sensation was unfamiliar and familiar all at once – something he knew he had to have felt before, but had no recollection of experiencing. He couldn’t help but stare down at his body as if it had betrayed him.

“See? Everyone’s ticklish somewhere.” Wyll paused, stepping closer. “Did– did you not know you were?”

“Trapped under control of my vampire master the past two hundred years – would you?” Astarion scoffed, refusing to meet his eyes. “Not exactly the time for warm fuzzies.”

“No. No, I suppose not.” After a moment, Wyll stepped closer again, lightly resting his hands against Astarion’s hips. “Never too late to find out, you know?”

Astarion couldn’t help but gape at him. “Are you suggesting I willingly allow you to exploit a weakness of mine for, what, your own enjoyment?” He smirked. “Why, Wyll, I didn’t know you had it in you.”

Wyll laughed, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Of course not – it’s just, you ought to know your own vulnerabilities, should you not?”

Astarion raised an eyebrow. Wyll’s grin turned sheepish – but only slightly.

“Alright. I am known to have a bit of a mischievous side.” His thumbs rubbed circles into the divots of Astarion’s hips, just the right amount of pressure to avoid a tickle. “But I would never take advantage of you in that way if you didn’t wish it.”

Astarion rolled his eyes, a fond smile spreading across his lips without his permission. “Gods, don’t be such a hero.”

The words were barely out of Astarion’s mouth before the soothing circles at Astarion’s hips became gentle squeezing. An undignified noise escaped him before he was able to seal his lips shut. He doubled over and scrabbled for Wyll’s wrists.

“I’m not hearing a ‘no,’” Wyll said, his voice filled with so much humor and fondness that it might’ve made Astarion feel ill if he hadn’t already been preoccupied.

“You ass,” Astarion replied instead.

Wyll clicked his tongue. “Maybe this will help teach you some manners.”

Astarion opened his mouth to respond, but all that came out was a rush of air as Wyll started wiggling his fingers up Astarion’s sides. While the squeezing had been gentle enough, the skittering of Wyll’s fingers was absurdly soft. The light touch was maddening in a way that Astarion couldn’t place, sending him squirming and lost to mortified giggles in mere moments. All of Cazadors horrible tortures, with his cold hands and rough grip, all of the people he’d lured back with his body, with their hungry touches and grasping hands, none of them could have prepared him for this – the delicate fingers of someone who cared for him (albeit through his own manipulation) picking him apart with such ease.

And the worst part was, Astarion found that he didn’t quite mind it. In fact, he actually rather liked it, as horribly embarrassing as it was. It was a kind of intimacy that he had never considered before, and one that wasn’t tainted with nearly so much history. And of course, the handsome smile spreading across Wyll’s face at Astarion’s ridiculous reactions was quite the bonus, even if it was at his expense.

Of course, it became much harder to think the longer Wyll took advantage of his sensitivities. Astarion had no idea that tickling could be so distracting, so consuming. He doubled over as those skittering fingers reached his ribcage, his hands coming up to try and muffle the laughter now escaping him. Wyll laughed along, and they both laughed harder when he managed to maneuver his hands up into Astarion’s underarms, causing him to stumble to the ground.

“Get out of there!” Astarion said, half-heartedly trying to shove Wyll away with one hand, while trying his hardest to shield his reactions with the other.

“If that’s really what you want!”

Astarion quickly learned that was the wrong choice, as Wyll shimmied his fingers out of Astarion’s underarms and swiftly set to poking and prodding around Astarion’s stomach. Through squinted eyes, Astarion could see Wyll watching his every jump and flinch, trying to catch his reactions through his fingers, no doubt cataloguing them to use exploit later.

“See, this isn’t quite so effective.” Wyll punctuated the sentence with a few playful squeezes to his sides.

“Seems plenty effective to me!” Astarion griped, trying to grasp for his hands.

Wyll cocked his head with a grin. “Oh, it certainly works, but you seem to do better with a… softer touch.”

With that, the skittering fingers were back, and a mortifyingly high-pitched noise burst from Astarion’s lips. It was absurd how much the method could change the intensity of the tickle, and even more absurd how badly a touch so soft could affect him. And of course, he was proved right in his previous hypothesis when Wyll seemed to focus particularly on the places he had made note of previously. All Astarion could do was roll around in the dirt and dead leaves, too uncoordinated to do anything to save himself even if he wanted to.

And then Wyll started jumping between certain areas of his upper body at random. His stomach, his ribs, his stomach again, his underarms, his hips, his sides – Astarion could barely keep track of the sensation. All he could do was laugh, no matter where it showed up next. His hips seemed to be particularly weak to this type of touch, and Wyll certainly enjoyed his time taking advantage of that. Even still, though all the playful torment, Astarion couldn’t say he exactly minded, though he would never let Wyll know.

And then Wyll’s fingers jumped up to Astarion’s neck, no warning at all. The tickle was still there, and certainly still effective, but Astarion’s breath caught in his throat. For the first time in all his squirming, he finally lurched away from the touch. One hand flew down to support himself as he tried to sit up, the other flying up to pry Wyll’s fingers away. 

Ever so attentive, Wyll pulled his hands away immediately. Instead, he moved to help Astarion sit up, rubbing his back as if to help him catch his breath despite the fact that Astarion didn’t really need to breathe anyways. It was a sweet gesture. Wyll was a fool. 

“No neck,” Wyll said. “I’ll remember that for next time.”

Astarion scoffed. “Please, as if there would be a next time in the first place. No, you’ve had your fun now, darling.”

Wyll only shook his head, a twinkle in his eyes. “Whatever you say, Astarion.”

“Speaking of fun–” Astarion ran a hand through his hair, trying to ruffle his curls back into place “– I believe it’s my turn.”

Wyll’s eyes went wide, but Astarion pulled him down to be flush with Astarion’s chest before he could make any moves. Though Wyll put up some semblance of a struggle, Astarion was easily able to roll them over, allowing him to loom over Wyll. It was almost endearing how little he was trying to actually fight back. Not to mention, few people would trust a vampire to put them on their back like this. If Astarion’s heart had still had a beat, he was worried it might’ve skipped one or two. As it was, he could hear Wyll’s heart give a stutter of its own.

Wyll gave him another one of those charming nervous chuckles. “Now Astarion, I’m sure we can talk about this.”

Astarion grinned, lowering his voice into a purr. “Oh my dear, you can talk all you wish. In fact, why don’t we start with whichever patch of skin is most likely to make you scream.”

“I’m no fool, Astarion. No man in his right mind would give up such sensitive information so willingly.”

Astarion leaned in closer, so his lips were brushing against Wyll’s ear. “Sensitive information indeed, hm?”

Wyll shivered, but at this point, Astarion was unable to tell if it was from pleasure or from ticklishness. Either way worked in his favor, so instead he set about his revenge. He started at Wyll’s hips, just as Wyll had begun with him, and started wiggling his fingers up Wyll’s sides and ribs. His giggles were music to Astarion’s ears as he shimmied back and forth beneath Astarion’s form. He tossed his head back with his giggling, baring his neck so temptingly, and Astarion couldn’t help but watch the way his throat bobbed with his laughter.

Still, Astarion wasn’t quite getting the reactions he desired. The giggles he garnered between Wyll’s hips and underarms were adorable, but it wasn’t what he was looking for. Astarion jumped down to Wyll’s sides again, giving them a few quick squeezes. He may have taken more than a few pointers from Wyll’s own attack, but it wasn’t as though he had much experience of his own to draw upon. Astarion felt his lips bloom into a devious grin at the flinch the touch garnered him and the louder laughter that followed.

“I see – you’re a bit opposite to me, then.”

Astarion could practically smell the blood as it rushed to Wyll’s cheeks, even if the blush didn’t show on his complexion. For the first time since Astarion began, Wyll started shoving at Astarion’s hands, though the laughter had clearly weakened him.

“Shut up!”

Astarion tsked. “Who knew the Blade of Frontiers was so easily embarrassed.”

He moved his prodding and squeezing inward, and finally Wyll shouted out a frantic, “Shit!” through his laughter. Wyll lurched up and tried to double over, not making it very far thanks to Astarion still looming over him. He scrambled for Astarion’s hands, fumbling blindly and ultimately making no difference to his torment.

“Ah – have I truly found my target so easily?”

“Yes!” Wyll shouted as he collapsed back into the dirt, his head thrown back once more as laughter wracked his body. “Yes, Astarion, please!”

Astarion slowed his fingers to a creeping spider, keeping Wyll in near-frantic giggles even with the light touch. He hummed thoughtfully. “But darling, how can I really be sure without completing my exploration? After all, most people would admit anything under torture.”

Wyll’s head tipped up and he stared at Astarion with wide eyes. Even still, he didn’t tell Astarion to stop. His blood may have been rushing, but it certainly wasn’t due to fear.

“Wait–” His voice was giggly and bright, his eyes clear from any distress.

Astarion hummed. “Condolences, but I believe I’m obligated to investigate further.” He leaned in close, their noses brushing. Astarion could almost taste Wyll’s giggles on his own lips, but he didn’t dare close the distance himself – he had to play this game at Wyll’s pace, after all. “Best prepare yourself for a long evening, my sweet.”

He certainly didn’t imagine the way Wyll’s heart sped up at those words.

[crystalflygeo]

First time/oral. ft Zhongli + fem!reader

cw/tags: Oral sex on fem!reader. First time, implied virgin reader I guess??

notes: Exactly what it says, just Zhongli eating out reader for the first time >:3c Just something quick and fun bc I haven't been active

You gulped and raised your head to stare at him nervously, face red with embarrassment and suddenly feeling oddly self-conscious. No one had ever… gotten that close before. Besides, you weren’t even sure what it would feel like, although you skin prickled with excitement, and after all of Zhongli’s reverent kisses and touches you were definitely ready for this.

You laid your head on the pillow once more, waiting for it, covering your mouth with a hand in anticipation, muffling little ticklish squeals as Zhongli kissed down your navel sending tingles through your whole body. His fingers massages at your hips and thighs trying to get you to relax.

You shut your eyes nervously once you feel his breath right at your most private area. Heart pounding on your chest.

And suddenly it happens, he slides his tongue flat and slowly up your slit and you gasp at the sensation opening your eyes wide and arching your back.

Zhongli lets out a chuckle, your taste lingering in his mouth. “That good?”

“It felt… pretty weird, but amazing.” You admit breathily.

“Oh darling, this is just the beginning…”

He repeats the same movement as before and your whole body trembles, you let out a low whine instinctively trying to close your legs, but he keeps them in place with a firm hold. You bite your lower lip and groan as he quickens the pace just a bit, licking delicate stripes against your sweet pussy. “Hnnnng…” Your eyebrows knit together at the pleasurable assault and your hand frantically grips at the covers to ease off the pressure, it feels so good…

You let out a choked moan when Zhongli starts going deeper on you. The ex-archon slides his hands under your legs to your soft butt and pulls your hips up and closer to him, devouring you as if your juices were the most delicious thing he’s ever tasted. You moan and arch again and Zhongli smirks in victory. He gathers saliva in his tongue and gives another long messy lick before pulling away slightly. “Doing good so far?”

Before you can even think on answering you feel long dexterous fingers sliding across your wet opening and prodding inside carefully, immediately your hips and legs tense. “Oh Archons- Hng- Zhongli!” You gasp. “Please please please ah-”

“Gladly.” He parts your puffy folds reaching for the tender flesh beneath. You moan again, long and high-pitched, and pull at the sheets tighter.

And then he laps at your clit and takes it between his lips to suck softly.

Your entire body clenches as you let out a choked gasp, the action driving you insane, delirious. It feels so raw. Zhongli suckles again and lets feathery touches around your pussy with his fingers. Teasing the skin and slowly dipping in and out, in and out, in and out.

You whine and moan, babbling broken words and repeating his name over and over. Your whole body feels hot, too hot, small drops of sweat roll down your sides and at the valley between your breasts, nipples pebbled, breath ragged, and soon your whole body starts twitching, alight with pleasure.

“That’s it.” He urges, nuzzling your inner thigh before nipping at it. His hair is disheveled, his cheeks flushed, his golden eyes feral and fascinated.

“Z-Zhong- oh fuck… hnnng.” You whimper as your hips jerk in his grip. It is too much. It feels too good. That coil at your belly keeps twisting, twisting.

“Hmm… you’re simply divine darling.” His voice rumbles against your skin, hot puffs of breath against your sensitive pussy, before he continues lapping at you like a man starved, his fingers thrusting deep and filling you up alongside his wicked tongue, lewd wet sounds only muted by your own voice.

“Zhongli, Zhongli. Oh. Yes yes yes-”

“Now… hah… cum for me, dear.”

As if on command you whimper and try to muffle your cries with your free hand, shutting your eyes close as all your muscles suddenly tense, “Aaahnnnmm-!!” Liquid lighting cursing through your veins. Your legs kicking out on reflex as you see stars behind your eyelids.

Zhongli pulls away gently and lets you ride your orgasm massaging your legs tenderly, your toes curl up and your left hand grips at the sheets until your knuckles turn white. Then slowly, your senses come back. A pure, delicious buzz of exhausted relief thrums through your body, simmering on your skin as you melt and collapse back on the bed panting.

After a few seconds you were only vaguely aware of Zhongli’s gentle licks cleaning you up between your legs and ushering you out of your release until you suddenly become too sensitive for any more touch.

“No more…” You moan breathlessly, left hand finding his hair shakily. Zhongli stops and looks up, golden eyes dark with lust, mouth and chin wet with your slick. You groan at the sight and weakly tug him upwards.

When he lands next to you on the bed you immediately cup his face between your hands and kiss him. Desperate and lustful as you flick your tongue at the seam of his lips, a little artless and messy but his mouth slips open to accept you anyway. You notice a tangy taste on his lips and your drowsy mind takes a moment to register you are tasting yourself.

Not that you really mind. In fact, it was… pretty hot.

You pull away softly and he places two more kisses on your lips before gently pushing you back down on the pillow. Your eyes flutter close, chest still heaving with the remnants of your high “T-That was… wonderful.” You slur.

Zhongli chuckles and nuzzles at your neck, hands gently massaging your body and making you shiver. “I am glad, then. Seems like we both enjoyed ourselves.”

“Hmmm… give me… give me a moment and… I-I want to…” You give him a soft smile, eyes half lidded as you move one of your legs until your knee rubs softly at the tent in his slacks.

“Oh?”

“You’ll have to be patient though…” You mumble, averting your eyes from his heated gaze. “I’ve never…”

He presses another soft kiss, against your forehead this time “We have more than enough time to indulge, and for you to… ah, learn and practice.”

[luvrxbunny]

my love

Pairing: Post-outbreak!Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: Joel tells you that he loves you for the first time.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, brief mentions of oral and fingering,  piv, unprotected sex, hair pulling, overstimulation (lmk if I forgot anything)

WC: 3.4k

A/N: This one is kinda short and like half flashback and the ending feels off but enjoy? *distant sobbing* 

It happened the first time you had slept with him. The night was long awaited by you because Joel had insisted on taking you on three dates first. The first one is chaste, solely for getting to know each other. You had pointed out that you already knew him but he said it didn't matter. The second one is when he finally kissed you. The two weeks that went by between dates had been torture to you, all your advances being softly denied by Joel. On that date, the third date is when Joel had, at long last, accepted your invitation into your house. 

There was a lot of foreplay, Joel had made you cum with his fingers and his mouth before even taking his pants off. Even once he did take them off he ran back to his car to grab a condom, insisting on it. It was heaven once he finally started fucking into you, it took you a little longer to cum, having lost some sensitivity from your two other orgasms but Joel was able to keep up. He never made you even start to think that you were taking too long, he was perfect and came at the same time as you. You had watched his eyes shut lightly, still watching you as he groaned out your name, his hips bucked softly into you. He huffed out a small laugh as he got off of you, he removed the condom quickly and pulled his underwear back up. “Was that okay, baby?”

“Fuck yeah, it was!” You rolled over and placed your arm on his chest, to rest your chin on it. “Very worth the wait.” He chuckled and rubbed his hand up and down your back. “Would… would you agree?” You asked him nervously.

“Oh yeah, honey. You know I would.” He said with a laugh. You smiled at his answers and relaxed into him, you nuzzled your face into his chest and brought your leg up over his thighs. Once it was in the position you wanted, you noticed something press against your knee.

It confused you at first, you assumed it was just his stomach or something. But then you noticed how tense he was, and that he was holding his breath You lifted your head off of his chest to look at his face just to find him already watching you. His eyes gave him away, unnecessarily guarded and wider than normal.

You moved your leg away, your eyes still watching his face as you removed the blanket. You almost stopped breathing when you saw him, still hard in his briefs. You backed away, removing all contact with him. You started curling in on yourself, suddenly aware of how naked you were. Joel's "orgasm" played in your head over and over, the thought that you couldn't even make him cum once after he made you cum three times embarrassed you to no end. The idea that instead of continuing he just gave up and faked it, had your heart shattering inside your chest. Your arms crossed protectively over your chest as you looked around nervously. “What the fuck?” You asked with an incredulous laugh. 

He started breathing again, fast as he sat up. “Honey.” He spoke softly, his hands reached out to your arm but you backed away. You pulled the sheets up to your neck and scooted away, suddenly self-conscious. “No, c’mon, baby it’s not-” He sighed defeatedly and dropped his hands back down to the bed. “It’s not like that. I’m just-” He sighed again and drew back, his hands folded in his lap, his eyes were cast downward. “There’s just some things a little uh… wrong with me.” He chuckled sadly.

You waited for him to continue talking but he just shook his head down at his lap. “Joel, you need to explain yourself now.” His head snapped up at you like he forgot you were there. “Yeah I- No, I know that…” He dropped his head and sighed to himself. “I’m just workin’ up the courage.”

You sat there in silence for a little while before he turned to you and started talking. 

“I’m... unable to cum uh- sometimes. It’s not… uncommon for me. I need you to know that it has absolutely nothin’, and I mean nothin’ to do with you, or my feelings for you. If this-” He gestured to his general crotch area 

“If this was based on how I feel about you I would’ve cum 5 times by now but-” He took a deep breath and shook his head at himself. “Unfortunately, it’s not. I get… a little too in my head, especially in this situation. I just wanna make sure you’re feeling good and- and comfortable and-” He took another breath. 

You could tell he was getting flustered, he started rambling a bit, getting off track. “It just- I end up unable to… finish. It doesn’t matter how good it may feel or how fucking... badly I want to” His gaze drifted up from his lap to your lower stomach, even though it was covered by the sheet.   

You scooted closer to him and took his hand in yours to comfort him as he finished talking. “It happens when I get stressed too… I’m not stressed right now.” He added quickly. “I’m just in my head a little, that’s all.”

You had comforted him the rest of the night but you know he still felt bad, you know because you guys did nothing sexual for the next three weeks after.

It’s been seven months now and Joel is very comfortable with sexual activities. He’s fucked you countless times since but you can count on one hand how many times he’s actually cum. You try not to let it eat you up. Joel always reassures you, he reminds you that it's okay, that he doesn’t really need to cum anymore, that it has nothing to do with you and he just wants to make you feel good. It doesn’t stop the guilt though, because you can’t ignore the fact that you’ve never actually made him cum. The few times he’s cum were all times where he was the one touching himself and you were around or talking him through it. That little fact makes it very hard to believe it has nothing to do with you.  

This morning Joel had woken up a little horny. You woke up to him hovering over you, kissing along your neck, whispering little praises into your ear as he ran his hands up and down your body. 

Over an hour and three orgasms later Joel is still fucking into you with the same rigor he started with. 

“Fuck! Joel keep- right there.” Your voice dies as you moan out Joel’s name. He smiles down at you and grips your hips tighter, pulling them off the bed to meet his. “You’re feeling good, honey?”

You reach a hand up to paw at his chest, raking your nails down and leaving red streaks in their wake. “Feeling so fucking good, Joel.” Your thighs are shaking from where they rest on his hips, he brings his thumb up to your clit, trying to get you to cum around him again.

His hand is immediately pushed away by you with a loud whine. “T-too sensitive, baby, but I’m close.” Your hand reaches up at Joel and he leans down for you. You wrap your hand behind his neck and pull his body into you. “I love you so much, Joel. You feel so good- making me feel so-” You cut yourself off with a moan and kiss him. 

You’ve said ‘I love you’ to Joel before. He didn’t say it back and you adamantly assure him that he doesn't need to. You understand that loving is hard for him, with all the people he’s loved and lost, you can see why it would be hard for him to love again. You just needed him to know how you felt about him, you don’t need anything in return.

He leans down to bury himself in your neck, his arm coming up behind your head to cradle it. He starts stroking your hair softly as you mumble in his ear. “You’re so amazing, Joel, so perfect. Always making me feel so good, so cared for.” You moan out his name as he hits your G-spot perfectly. Your hands tangle themselves in his hair, pulling him out of your neck and forcing him to your lips. Joel pulls apart when you clench down on him, pushing a gasp from his lips.

“You fuck me so well, Joel. I can’t even make myself cum as hard as you can.” Your brain has shut off by now, three orgasms and one approaching finally taking their toll on you. You’re rambling off every thought that pops into your head and Joel loves it. He still has his face in front of yours as he moans in response to everything you say. 

“I love you s’much, Joel. I don’t care about what anyone says, you’re an angel. S-so good..” Your sentence morphs into a groan as your pussy pulses around Joel for the fourth time this morning. 

“Holy fuck, darlin’. You’re killin’ me.” His voice is strained when it comes out, hot and raspy against your face, ending in a groan. His cock is throbbing inside you as you squeeze and cream around him. “Keep talking to me, baby. Gimme one more and I’ll stop.”

You moan painfully at the thought of cumming again but the idea slowly becomes more and more appealing as he keeps thrusting into you. “Okay. Okay, Joel. Whatever you want, whatever you need.” Your hands desperately scratch at his back, earning more moans from his as he buries his face in your neck. He groans desperately and his hips speed up as he soaks in everything you tell him. 

“Treat me so well, baby. You’re so amazing, I love you so much.” You mutter into his hair as his skin slaps against yours, creating a clapping noise in the room along with the sounds of your soaked pussy but all you can hear are Joel’s moans. His hips are pistoning into you, your whole body moving with the force of them. “Joel fuck k- keep going- oh fuck. Right there, my love. Holy shit, you’re incredible.”

Joel’s hips lose rhythm at ‘my love’ but quickly fall back into his previous pace. He's groaning out your name into your ear as you moan and whimper against him. He hears your moans speed up, knowing that you’re getting close to your fifth high of the morning.

He can feel the pride swell in his chest at the thought that he had brought you to five orgasms in one morning. He feels something flood him, taking over his bloodstream and filling his veins. He feels his cock twitch and his heart begins to race.

He knows you felt him twitch by the way your moans pick up. They’re only getting higher in pitch and more frantic. Your legs are twitching back to life and pulling him in with what little strength they have left. You’re muttering into his ear, something like a whimper that resembles a plea. 

“I love you so much, baby. Fuck- I’m gonna cum so hard, love.” Joel groans into your ear.

Your reaction to his words is visceral. You note the shake in his voice and unleash a screaming moan as you cum around him. Your whole body tenses as your eyes roll back into your head. Your legs lock around him and hold him in place as he twitches inside of you. He’s moaning into your neck as you cum around him and you feel his muscles start to tense. His hips thrust shallowly and curtly, and he can feel his balls throbbing as you whine. He turns his head to whisper to you, “I love you so fuckin’ much” and erupts.

It’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever witnessed. His head comes up from your neck to press a desperate kiss to your lips while he moans. You can feel wetness touch your eyelids and cheek, where his eyes rest as he presses his face into yours. His cock is spurting inside you, filling you to the brim with his pent-up cum. Joel is trying to keep quiet, he’s biting his lip and groaning with each pulse of his cock. You bring a hand from behind his head to place it on his face, your thumb on his bottom lip and pulling it out from between his teeth. The action has his eyes rolling back and a distraught moan releasing from his throat. His hips stutter against yours again as a new wave of cum empties inside you with a painful groan. 

You watch his face contort in pleasure as he overflows your pussy with little teardrops on his eyelashes. If you could cum again, you would be. You can feel his cum start to drip out of you, down your ass, and onto the sheets, joining the puddle of your cum that already resides there. You pull his face to yours and place a kiss on the corner of his open mouth while he whines out for you. You kiss down his neck as his hips twitch against yours, his cock is drained, weakly twitching inside you but he can’t bring himself to pull out yet.

One of your hands is running up and down his back while the other is scratching lightly on his scalp to calm him. He’s taking deep, shaky breaths as his arms begin to shake. He lowers himself to you slowly, placing all his weight on you like a blanket. You giggle happily and kiss his forehead softly. You both stay like that for a little bit, waiting for his hips to stop stuttering into yours.

“You okay?” You ask gently, still rubbing his back. His breathing still hasn’t evened out, he gasps gently at the sound of your voice and nods against you. You’ve never seen him like this, all fucked out… You love it. “Good, baby. You wanna roll over so I can clean up?”

His eyebrows furrow in confusion before he rolls over to his side of the bed, pulling you with him. You giggle at the sudden change in position, now on top of him. His side is relatively untouched by either of your cum. You instantly spot a flaw in this solution and speak up. “Okay, but I still have cum on me, sweetheart.” He’s breathless at the nickname and frowning at the rest of your words. 

“Just stay.” His voice is gravelly when he speaks, rough from all his moans and groans. It relaxes your whole body and you bury your face in his neck, giving into him way too easily. “Thank you… I love you.” He says the last part like a whisper and a smile forces its way onto his face when he hears your small gasp in response. 

“I love you too, Joel.” You whisper back at him before you both drift to sleep, satisfied with the morning, with the day... satisfied with your lives, as long as you're together.  

Thank you so much for reading!! Please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all!

[kyaa-q]

A Train Wreck (part 1)

Lee Know x fem!reader warnings: fluff but heavy angst and themes of abusive relationships wc: 8k>. AO3 link :) synopsis: Your life has changed a lot throughout the past 6 months, since you started dating Jun. Events lead you to slowly distance yourself from some of the people you loved the most - Stray kids. Even your friendship with Bang Chan, your closest friend, was damaged after that day. Now, you find your life to be like an unstoppable train wreck hurtling toward disaster. You're gradually losing the bonds that had always kept you sane, for a serie of events that turned your world upside down. It feels inevitable: you will crash. Could someone help you avoid the collision? Could someone take the wheel with you, and help you get control over your life again? You don't know anymore. There's only one thing you do know: you are not welcomed and Lee Know, in particular, might hate you. And his opinion about you hurts more than you wanted it to.

Or: Y/N is in an abusive relationship and ends up distancing herself from her friends (Stray Kids). She thinks everybody hates her, especially Lee Know. She doesn't understand the effect he has on her (and vice-versa).

important a/n: This work deals a lot with topics of toxic/abusive relationship. There is no physical violence, but it does show cases of emotional manipulation and the potential impacts it can have over someone. The reader is in a toxic romantic relationship (I'm sorry to all Jun's out there), and the story is basically about how it affect not only the reader herself, but also the people around her who she held dear to her heart. It does contain a lot of self-doubt, anxiety, depressive thoughts and having your world reshaped by someone else, taking down important pillars to someone's life, finally facing what it means to have been deceived and accepting it (eventually). Having said all that, if you think this is a sensitive topic to you, please proceed with caution (if you choose to do so). I suck at tagging, but I hope this note made things a little clearer. In the end, it's supposed to be a way of comforting and healing - which will come, eventually -, especially with the help of someone else. I'm not sure how long this will be, but there's still a long way to go. Also, I use "Lee Know" and "Lee Minho" interchangeably, depends on the feeling. A final note is that this chapter has a lot of flashbacks of the past, so the timelines might be confusing to some, but hopefully it is clear enough and I can convey the message and feeling I aimed for. Lots of love, everybody!

You just finished ordering when your phone rings. Your stomach drops and you catch yourself being scared that it might be your partner, Jun. It hasn’t been an hour since the fight you two had over the phone, and if you were being completely honest, you can’t even recall the exact reason for the argument. What you do recall, though, is the aggressive silence, followed by yelling, aggressive silence again, a very passive-aggressive monologue about how you simply can’t understand. Why are you making things so difficult?, a quiet rage when you tried to speak, finally ending with Jun hanging up on you. In that order, specifically.

You force yourself to analyze the conversation. You remember calmly asking him where he had been the past few days. The overreaction you got threw you off. After days of complete silence from his end, could anyone actually blame you for genuinely being intrigued? Did that mean you were you a control freak? That you did you not trust him? That had never crossed your mind, for God’s sake! You only wanted to know! It was insane what he accused you of, for simply wondering whether he was busy or something similar. Suddenly trying to justify your question as coming from a place of sadness, not control, felt like a weakness. It didn't matter nonetheless, since he had hung up so abruptly. A mix of shame and guilt engulfed you, with a hint of anger that you very consciously denied.

Before you knew it, you were outside walking without direction, just desperate to unwind your mind. You hoped the fresh spring breeze healing powers would be enough. So, you walked and walked and walked, crossing streets and taking turns mindlessly. Or so you thought. You cursed your feet when you, at last, realized where they had dragged you, spotting the JYP-Entertainment building at one corner. A few buildings away, you remind yourself, your favorite coffee shop still stood. You actively deceived yourself, claiming that that is the place your feet had been leading you all along and resuming a much more determined march. It was the craving for coffee that had brought you here, you told yourself, and not the fear of running into any of the boys.

“Ma’am?” The cashier, a boy that probably is still in school, brings you back from your daze. He has a painfully obvious worried look on his face. Do I look on the outside as shitty as I feel in the inside? The phone stops ringing and you blink, hoping your mask is good enough to pull off a relaxed demeanor. 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” You reach into your bag and aim for your wallet, doing your best to ignore the pity on that young boy’s eyes. Shame swirls inside your chest and you’re scared you might start crying in front of this poor kid.

You hand him the money and allow your eyes to wander around for a moment. The mechanical sounds the cash register makes are relaxing, and you take in the place you so dearly liked. You aren’t alone in the shop — in fact, it is quite busy for a Thursday afternoon. It is better this way, you think. The sensation of merging with the crowd and disappearing is welcoming. The boy hands over your change, and your phone starts ringing again.

The color of your face must have disappeared, by the look of the cashier’s face. “Can I do anything to-“

“Keep the change.” You smile once more, cutting him off. You turn around before he can finish his sentence and head to the farthest table you can spot. On your way, you wonder whether you look as pathetic on the outside as you feel on the inside. Without realizing it, you made a decision. The decision of avoiding Jun as if it could make anything better — as if it could even change anything by any means. You hated yourself for being scared, afraid of something you can’t exactly name. It couldn't be Jun. Why would it be? Apart from the occasional raised voice, he has never done anything to you. It's just a phone call, you tell yourself. If it goes downhill you can simply hang up, just like he did to you before. As simple as that. By the time you reach your seat, you're determined. This is foolish, you swear under your breath. Still, you hesitate to take the ringing phone out of your pocket — but end up doing it anyway.

The word Chris glowing on the screen feels like a cozy blanket being wrapped around your cold body. You must have audibly exhaled, perhaps muttered some thanks — whether to a higher being or to Chan himself, you're not sure — because you notice a few people turning their heads toward you . It’s okay, everybody! Everything is fine now!, you want to say. You clear your throat before answering it.

“Hey there.” Hopefully you don't sound so gloomy. You put in a double effort to sound as cheery as possible. Perhaps, if Chan believes you’re okay, you might as well just be.

“What’s wrong?” Straight to the point, you wince by the dry, clearly worried tone. Tough start.

You know Chan and the way he worries extensively about everything and everyone — not enough about himself, some would argue, but you'd slightly disagree. It’s simply part of his nature, you’ve learned. As much as you admired deeply his instinct to help, you did not want to be the object of such attention at that moment. He is a great friend – fuck, he is the best friend. In normal instances, you wouldn't hesitate before sharing your mind and soul with him. Right now, however, worrying him also meant being faced with too many questions, none of which you wanted to answer — perhaps not even knew the answer to. Not only that, you were also vaguely aware about the upcoming Stray Kids comeback in less than two months. Having witnessed the boys go through times like this firsthand before, the last thing you wanted was to add your name to the list of “Things That Keep Bang Chan Up At Night”. In reality, you knew he couldn't do anything about your situation regardless. Therefore, you conclude, worrying him would simply be counterproductive.

“Ouch. Not even a hello?” You play it off, fidgeting with your bag’s strap. You know you can't fool Chan. You shake your head to ward off the thoughts.

“Hello. What is wrong, Y/N?” He insists and you shift nervously in your chair. Your eyes travel to the cashier, who is talking to the barista, a boy as young as him, keeping them both in your line of sight. “Why didn’t you pick up the first time?” Chan questions.

“Is it that weird for me to not pick up immediately?” You joke quietly. You know Chan is not buying your act. “Actually. I think I should be the one asking you. Why do you sound so urgent? What is going on?” You deflect, but Chan doesn’t take the bait. He takes a deep breath, audibly through the speaker, and you feel bad for making things difficult for him — you really do. But you know it’s the best option. You will sort all the awkwardness in the future, hoping it won't be too late for it to have settled and stained your friendship irreversibly. You want to fill the silence, but your tongue feels heavy in your mouth.

Is it really the best option? What would be worse — telling Chan and burdening him with your own confusing problems, at least having him know what’s wrong, or avoiding talking about it? Certainly, he will sense that something is wrong, but at least he won’t feel bad for not helping if he doesn’t know exactly what’s going on.

But where to start?

Chris exhales audibly once more. “Nothing. I’m sorry.” He wants to insist, you can tell, but you’re thankful he’s holding back. “I just miss you.” He says it so softly the phone barely captures it. It hits you like a truck, and tears are rolling down your cheeks before you acknowledge them. The lump in your throat grows, and you're afraid your voice will betray you if you try to speak. “I haven’t seen you in weeks. When was the last time you came to the company?”

And it has been weeks - months, actually. You’re sure you can hear your own heart shattering like glass inside your chest. You can touch the sharp edges of the cracks and spot bruises that were supposed to have healed long ago but linger still. You miss him too. Not only Chan, but you you’re your routine with him and 3RACHA. You miss Changbin’s loud teasings and Han’s snuggles. You miss spending the hours on end holed up in a practice room with the eight of them, watching as they dance and sing and spin and fight and laugh, as if their own life depended on it. You were just a lucky spectator who has been very much avoiding the fact that you've been neglecting your most precious fortune. When did you become this mess of a person?

You’re bothering them. The male voice resonates in your mind and you close fiercely your eyes. You are not one of them, Y/N. You’re just being a nuisance all the time. Why can't you see it?

You try to stop it, but it's in vain. The memory memory comes back regardless.

“I never said I was one of them. That’s silly.” You replied as you entered the company’s elevator, followed by Jun. With your hands occupied holding plastic bags filled with snacks handpicked for each of the boys, you press the button with your elbow. “I just don’t think they see a problem with me coming over from time to time. It's not like I'm showing up every day." You glimpsed at your watch. You were early and Chris wouldn't be waiting for you. Perfect, you could surprise them. "You know, Channie was the one-“ He scoffed and you felt a puncture of guilt. “Chris.” You corrected yourself, not wanting to get into a fight because of this again. “Chris was the one who texted me asking if I was planning to come or not.” You tried to conceal the pride warming your chest with that statement.

“Maybe it’s because they just want to go home, but they can’t because there’s always the chance of you showing up out of nowhere. Have you ever thought about that?" His tone was harsh and took you by surprise. Actually… No. You have not thought about that, in fact. He inhaled deeply, massaging his temples in a sign of stress. “Of course not."

“I didn’t ask you to come.” You mumbled, fighting against the flush of shame on your cheeks. What if he's right? What if you've been bothering and annoying some of the most important people in your life this whole time, and they've just been putting up with you? Your heart sank at the thought.

“Babe.” Jun appeared in your line of sight and placed his hands on both your shoulders. "You know I'm only saying this because I love you, right? I just don’t want you to embarrass yourself in front of those people, that’s all." You tried to avoid his gaze, but he gently turned your chin and held it. "Okay?”

His voice was soft, but clear. Too loud for your ears, perhaps. The soft tone did not make it easier to absorb the painful words. It took you a moment to register that the elevator's bell had run the doors had already opened. Your partner stepped back, taking some of the bags from your hands and turning to exit. Had you been paying attention, you would've noticed the cynical smile on his face as he turned toward the figure standing at the entrance. You only registered the other party after Jun's venomous tone. “If you excuse us.”

The shadow, meanwhile, did not excuse him. He didn't move not even an inch to the side, and you caught Jun trying to pass by them smoothly - but failing. The figure didn't show to care when he bumped into him, murmuring curses under his breath that were very much audible. You turned your head and found, as already expected, Lee Know standing there. Nonchalantly, hands in the pockets of his jeans, you met his piercing dark gaze, already fixed on you - and you only. He paid as much attention to Jun as he'd do to a fleck of dust.

Although it had been about two months since you started dating Jun, all the boys had already met him. You held a habit of visiting them regularly at the company after being close to Chan for so long. Dating Jun hadn't stopped you from doing that, in fact, for some reason, he'd insist to come along. You tried questioning him if that came from a place of jealousy, but gave up after a few attempts. Mentioning Stray Kids was usually the motive for big arguments, which never led anywhere. Coming to the company to hang out obviously gave Jun as much amusement as he’d get from attending a seminar on top 10 best lore of teenager’s movies, and it was up to him how he spent his time. You actively did your best to dismiss his mean comments about the most insane things, be it the lightening of the place or the paint color they chose to paint this one specific wall or the supposed secretary’s rudeness. Every aspect of the building had something wrong with it that deserved a specific remark about it. Jun had learned not to make any unpleasant comments about - or even to - the boys. That was the only instance you would not let slide. In return, you learned to let him rant about how god damn cold or hot or crowded or empty the building was.

You never told Chan - or anyone, for that matter - about it. Practically any of the members, even Chris himself, had ever explicitly stated whether they liked or disliked Jun, and you never asked them directly. They maintained an awkwardly polite demeanor in Jun’s presence. At least they tried to keep it civilized, even when Jun was being difficult. Well, practically because there was one exception.

Lee Minho clearly disliked your boyfriend, and the feeling was mutual from day one. The first day Jun came along and you introduced him to your friends, they were all respectful and dealt fairly well with Jun’s special ironic remarks. Minho, on the other hand, had withdrawn into a state of heavy silence and deadly stares that alternated between you and Jun. You tried to ignore it, initially, not giving it too much thought. That was until Minho questioned, in a very audible and shameless, almost whiny voice, 'Ah, Hyung! When is this thing leaving? It’s so annoying.'

Before you could decide whether you’d argue with Minho or Jun, your short-tempered partner was already looking, outraged, for the source of the voice. You grabbed his arms and tried to drag him toward the door, saying goodbye to the boys with a hasty 'Yes, I’ll see you soon! Take care!' And, 'Let’s go, Jun, we have to—'

But as you left the room, both you and Jun saw that Minho had stood up and was leaning proudly against the wall. His deadly stare had followed you to the exit and you caught when the shadows on his face gave place to a malicious smile forming on his lips. He was looking at Jun, as he gave a tiny wave, somehow a sign of imminent violence. Just before you closed the door, you couldn't stop the shiver running down your spine when you noticed he was staring at you. You couldn't read what they said, but your stomach churned nonetheless.

Minho was the primary target of your boyfriend’s distaste ever since, and a common fight motive. Jun had always been the type to overthink, but it was ridiculously worse when it came to Lee Know - which was tragically hilarious. From all the eight, he had chosen Lee Minho to pick on? You'd try to argue, but his reply would always come to You can’t be this blind. It was maddening, always as if you were both arguing about two completely different things.

Thus, you weren't surprised to find Lee Know in front of you - that particular mocking tone coming from Jun in If you excuse us, would only be used with Minho. What did surprise you, however, was Minho himself. Standing as still as a statue in front of you, the man emanated annoyance and deep displeasure. His dark eyes exuded an anger you were certain you could touch. It made the air surrounding you heavier and colder. The chill reflected in your stomach as your face grew hotter. You couldn't look away, as if you were under a spell - and perhaps you were. You didn’t know if you wanted to scream, to run, or to hide. Maybe all three options. The knowledge you were the reason behind this anger was as clear as running fresh water, and it gave you goosebumps. Somehow, it wasn’t a question. You didn’t know what you could’ve done to trigger such fierce feelings from Lee Know. Although his feelings were as transparent as clean glass, you were unable to read his thoughts. Honestly, you weren’t sure you even wanted to.

How long it passed, you couldn’t tell. How long you stood there, pitiful and unable to move or look away, a mess of flushed face and glassy eyes, remains unclear to you to this day. What was very clear even at that time, however, was the shadow of disappointment you spot on the vastness of his deep dark eyes the moment before he turned around. He walked to the opposite direction of the hallway without saying a word. The abrupt withdraw left bad taste in your mouth. The spell was broken and you could breathe again, but the air was too icy in your lungs, making you wonder whether it'd be better to go back underwater - to be back under his gaze. That shadow of disappointment in his eyes persisted like an annoying fly you couldn’t shoo away, accompanied by a heavy weight in your chest.

“What the fuck was that?” The angry whisper suddenly reminded you that you weren’t alone. You might as well have been, though. The world could have ended and the universe collapsed at that very moment, and yet, staring into Lee Know’s eyes, you knew it wouldn’t make any difference. Under his gaze, you wouldn’t have noticed anyone but you and him. Your eyes followed the dark spot going down the corridor, until the moment he finally took a turn and disappeared completely. You collapsed against the elevator’s wall, finally breathing in as deep as you could until your lungs ache. Hold for one. Two. Three. Four. Exhale.

“Hello? What the fuck Y/N?” For a moment you considered yelling at Jun. You felt your nerves on the surface of your skin, and your heartbeat was distractingly loud in your head.

“I don’t know.” You breathed out, realizing that, in fact, you didn't have energy to fight. Your legs were unsteady and you realized your hands were shaking. The fog in your mind dissipated a little, and the pleas in your mind for Minho to come back died out. You tighten the grip on the left bags on your hands and push yourself forward. In automatic mode, you got out the elevator and headed to the first and closest safe place your mind could think of: 3RACHA’s Studio.

Perhaps you should have realized that you were heading in the same direction you had just seen him go, only a few minutes before. That you would, unavoidably, end up facing Lee Know again - although 3RACHA’s Studio wasn’t the only active room on that floor, that was the most obvious conclusion to arrive at. Maybe you knew it, unconsciously. Today, you wonder if you didn’t turn back that day simply because following Minho was like an instinct. You were confused, sad and scared, but still, going to Minho felt as natural as searching for a shelter during a storm. In this case, Minho was both the storm and the shelter. You should’ve turned your back and gone home, but you didn’t. Your mind was a hurricane of confusing feelings and images that, in the end, returned to the same name being chanted again and again. Lee Know Lee Know Lee Know.

Jun kept saying things you didn’t register. His voice was just a bit more than an agitated whisper, and you wished he would just shut up. Or even better, stayed at home. The doubts and fears resurfaced and you couldn’t shake them away. What if he was right? What if what had just happened was a statement of how much you annoyed and bothered this people?

Did they hate you that much?

As this last thought crossed your mind, a loud thud echoed, followed by a harsh voice. You froze, realizing it was emanating from 3RACHA’s Studio, and the door was half-open.

“Why is it still going on? It’s ridiculous!” It was… Minho? Could it be? You had never seen him raise his voice in anger - at least not seriously. It was unmistakably Minho, but the so intense anger was foreign to you. You couldn’t place it to the so coldhearted and detached person that Minho had always shown.

“YA! Don’t go around slamming things!” Changbin’s scolding came even louder, followed by mumbles you thought was Han's, but they were too muffled by the distance and walls to be sure.

They were fighting. They were very seriously fighting, and the realization sank in.

You should run. Run run run. Something was so clearly and deeply wrong. You should not be here. Now. Run.

Your members didn't follow your mind’s orders, and you caught yourself frozen in place.

You couldn’t move.

Your eyes snapped to your left, where Jun started moving. The sparkle of hope was extinguished when you realized he was moving forward, and not back to the elevator. He took one step closer to the door, and then another. Slowly, but surely trying to get a better listen. This isn't right.

“What do you want us to do, Minho?” Chan’s voice was also alien. The hasty, firm and contained anger just didn’t fit his patient personality. “Should we yell at her? That’s your solution?”

Her. Obviously this was about you. The word solution haunts you to this day, but even back then, the harm was starting to settle in. The need of a solution arises from the existence of a problem. You. In the end, you were the problem they were looking for a solution for.

“I can’t do this.” It was Lee Know again. Although his voice was much lower, it was as clear as it would’ve been if you were in that room with them. Pain and exhaustion overflowed from his words, and you felt their weight on your own face, in the form of tears that welled up and streamed down nonstop. His agony was overwhelming, and you felt as if your own heart was a broken dam. “I can’t, Hyung.” It was getting harder to understand his words - not only for the walls muffling them, but also for your own heartbeat was deafening. For a moment, you considered whether they could hear it too.

You sized your options. First, you could casually knock on the door and hand them the bags – somehow still in your hands –, then find an excuse to leave right after. Oh, sorry! I’m super busy, just wanted to give you guys these. No, it’s fine! Enjoy! It could work. Except the atmosphere inside was beyond intimidating. You would never be able to put on such an act that convinced them you weren't listening. The second option was simply leaving the bags in front of the door and leaving instantly. You shook your head, discarding the idea as soon as it happened. Leaving without saying a word would be a clear statement that you heard them, then felt bad and left. While it was precisely what had happened, you did not want them to know that. No, you couldn’t bear having Chan forcibly explaining to you in which ways you were a problem to the boys. The fact that he felt this way - or at least knew the others did - and had not talked to you prior stung at the back of your brain. Lastly, you could just leave. Dragging Jun and all the bags, you would leave no traces behind and, hopefully, Minho would think you didn’t even leave the elevator. Maybe he would think you had seen him and finally realized you were not welcome, then you had made the smartest choice – the one you should definitely have taken – and had gone straight home. He would ignore it and not mention it and-

Shouts suddenly pulled out from of your daze.

“GONE! OUT OF HERE! OUT OF MY FUCKING SIGHT!” Someone vociferated, followed by the sounds of a chair being dragged and steps. You grabbed Jun's hand and started pulling him after you before you even register doing the action. Desperately going back to the direction you both came from, you prayed to find an unlocked door before anyone heard your footsteps and plastic sounds. Not sure how, your pleas were quickly answered. In a moment of despair, trying to open an unknown door, you pushed both you and Jun inside the empty dark room. Shortly afyer you shut the door and locked it, hoping the thud noise went unnoticed. 

 “Are you crazy?” As soon as he started, you dropped all the plastic bags and covered his mouth with both hands. You closed your eyes – to avoid the tears that threatened to spill or to hear if anyone had left the studio and came after you, you didn’t know. Regardless, you couldn’t hear anything over your heartbeat and a high buzz in your ears.

“Y/N?” You blink, coming back to the present. You open your eyes, and the barista is in front of your table holding your coffee. You notice his uncomfortable gaze and blush in embarrassment, murmuring thanks and apologies as he hands you the cup and leaves. He must’ve called you and you didn’t hear, giving him extra trouble to leave his spot and hand it to you personally.

It can also be due the tears flowing uninterruptedly on your face. Who knows.

You look at the black screen on your hand, laying on your lap now. You unlock your phone and blink to try to clean your vision from the tears, regardless, there is no new notifications. You can't recall the conversation with Chan exactly - if it could even be called a conversation. You don't know whether it was you or Chan who hung up, or even if you got to say goodbye. Had he noticed you crying?

You stare at the ceiling, doing your best to stop the tears. That was the last time you went to the company, and that was months ago. You miss Chan. You miss Changbin and Han. You miss spending the afternoon simply watching them working on music. You miss how they were loud and lively and intense. You miss how you felt when you were with them, and knowing that the feeling was only one sided broke your heart in ways you have no idea how to heal. You can’t shake the feeling of losing them - it seemed inevitable, and you wanted to scream.

You don't know why you act the way you do - running away since then. Evidently, it wouldn't magically make things right again. It wouldn't wipe out your memories of that day, or care less, for that matter. Some of the dearest people in your life thought of you as a problem to be solved, and it simply hurt. Minho’s anger and disdain were far too ingrained in your brain. You’ve been ignoring the acute pain that always followed remembering his exasperation and fury. Gone, he had shouted at the top of his lungs. He wanted you gone and couldn’t fathom why no one had talked to you yet. Honestly, it's hard for you to not question the same. 

Something very solid and real had broken inside you that day. Your attempt to pretend nothing happened was reinforced by the fact that, that day, Minho had, indeed, did what you hoped he would do. You texted Chan a little after, apologizing for not showing up, and he didn't say anything about you being there. Minho hadn’t told them about meeting you, and you felt relieved – maybe you could work things out by yourself, without having to make things even harder for them. You still didn't know how - but you planned on finding out.

The weeks that followed that incident were a messy blur. Thankfully, Jun didn’t mind your absentmindedness. It didn't bother him – interacting was an action that had to come from your end, and, since your mind was preoccupied with something else, he wouldn’t even try pulling you out from your thoughts. You couldn’t focus on anything else for too long, your thoughts would always, somehow, end on Minho’s resentment. On Minho's angry pleas to the winds for you to go away. On Minho's eyes. On Minho. Minho. It drove you mad. You felt bad and didn't want to admit you resented Chan a little. As you learned, asking Jun for advice proved to be completely unhelpful – in fact, it made things worse most of times. The situation was as clear as crystal to him: the boys were busy people, while you were someone desperately clinging to their attention, and, in the end, it saturated them. They were also not assholes - except that guy, he'd add - and that’s why they had been trying to give you hints. Then, you could arrive at the conclusion yourself, and there wouldn't be a need to go through the confrontational phase. Unfortunately, you hadn’t done your part and didn’t read between the lines, that's why you stood where you did. Why are you so upset about it? Fuck them! I never liked those guys anyway, and variations would usually put an end to the "conversation".

At work, however, you didn’t have the comfort of having your absentmindedness be dismissed. That was quickly noticeable not only by your clients and colleagues, but also by your manager. He was a patient man, but seemed to be in a permanent state of exhaustion and you guessed that's what capitalism did to a person. He never raised his voice and treated employees as human beings – an unprecedented event according to your own experience -, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have the company as top priority. He tried to listen and help, but wouldn’t hesitate to fire someone if they messed up. The first time you were called to his office, he questioned, impassive, about the embarrassing decline in your productivity. He didn’t seem exactly worried - employees had ups and downs all the time. You tended to overwork yourself, and, although you weren't the employee of the month, you knew you did a good job overall - so did your superior. “It’s just proceeding, you know?”

The downs persisted, unfortunately, and two weeks later you were called again. This time, his approach was more assertive and concerned.

“You can’t stay like this, Y/N.” He turned the monitor on his desk to face you, showing the numbers you had missed the last 15 days. “What is going on?”

“I’m sorry, sir.” You bowed deeply one more time, having no explanations or justifications for your bad performance. You couldn’t tell your manager you had your confidence undermined, that you were questioning every single act and interaction you had. You couldn’t tell your superior how deeply you missed your friends, missed love and hugs and affection and care. You missed yourself. You couldn’t tell him about the constant presence in your head that kept saying you were doing everything wrong. Everything. All your achievements, be they your job or your relationships - all of them were product of luck and you clearly weren’t good enough to keep them. Chan instantly came to mind. Even though he was texting you regularly, you couldn't get rid of the overwhelming sadness gripping your neck and kept your replies short. Obviously he had noticed, but respected your space - he stopped asking what was wrong after the first week. Knowing him, it was good that he didn’t know where you live, and that his own job kept him busy through day and night, or else you were certain he would’ve shown up at your door already. “It’s all my fault and I am deeply sorry I am bringing losses to the company and-"

“Y/N.” Your manager cut you, “When was the last time you slept?”

Confused, you blinked. “Excuse me?”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “That answers it. You need to see a doctor.”

“I’m fine.” You raised your hands in surrender. “I promise, I don’t need to-“

“You can be a lot of things, Y/N. Sleep-deprived. Careless. Stressful. Anything but fine.” You flinched on the bluntness.

“Don’t you mean stressed?” You mumbled, embarrassed, trying to play off a joke.

“No, I said what I meant. Stressful. I cannot go on even for one more day if I look at my window one more time and see you staring blankly at your hands for God knows how long.” Before you could protest, he stopped you again. “I’m serious. I can’t afford the trouble of having an employee passing out because of lack of sleep. Take the rest of the day off and go to the hospital to get checked up. Come back tomorrow with the results in hand stating you are not dying or turning into a damn zombie.”

Left with no choice, you headed to the hospital. The feeling of guilt lingered in your chest a little, wondering if the insomniac nights were obvious in the dark bags under your eyes, if your anxiety was that evident in your eyes, words and walking.

You expected your health to be in check. You were certain modern medicine wasn’t capable of curing broken hearts yet – unfortunately. In worst case scenario, you’d probably walk out with a prescription to help you sleep and that’d be all. You took a deep breath before going in.

“Y/N?!”

Your body reacted before your mind and your eyes snapped in the direction of the source – Chris. He was already walking toward you, emerging from inside the huge building you had been staring at. You wondered if you were finally at the stage of hallucinations, and perhaps it was good it was happening next to a hospital - but this thought soon evaporated. Before you registered your own actions, you were also walking toward him, falling into the so missed and familiar hug your heart ached for.

It was the first time meeting Chan in almost a month. Usually, it wouldn’t have been a big thing, but it was for you. Your heart had been bleeding out for the past four weeks, and you hadn’t found a way to stop the pain. Chris was instant medicine, one that you had been actively depriving yourself of. You allowed yourself to be selfish for a moment. It was okay if you disturbed them and if you were an overall headache to them. In that moment, though, it was just you and Chris. You let yourself to believe that the love and appreciation you received from him were as real as they felt.

“Hi.” You murmured against his chest, inhaling his familiar perfume. His body vibrated with a chuckle, backing off just enough to look you in the eyes.

It was short, but you saw when the fun and joyful semblance turned into a concerned expression. You thought you sensed Chan becoming rigid, stiffening the hold on your shoulders just a little, as if you could run away if he let you. You remembered how you awfully sick and tired you might look. “How are yo-“

“I’m fine.” You cut off him, not being able to hold back a smile. “Do I look that terrible?”

He shifted, trying to cover up for his shameless stare. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way.”

Your smile widened; it was so easy to mess with him. “I’m just joking. I’m really fine, though.”

He glanced at you suspiciously. You could’ve well said you won the Olympics, and a quick look at you was enough to say that both of those things – being fine and winning the Olympics – were equally unlikely. And you didn’t account for the fact he had caught you standing in front of a hospital, just about to go in. Then it clicked, a hospital he just walked out of.

“Wait, what were you doing there? Are you okay?” It was your time to shamelessly look for wounds and signs that could hint if there was anything wrong with Chris. You noticed his clothes – shorts and a black long-sleeve shirt, it’s not something he’d normally wear outside, and rather stay inside working or even practicing.

He laughed shortly. “I am fine. Jeongin had an accident during practice and-“

“Jeongin had an accident?” Your voice was high pitched. Your eyes shifted to the entrance, past Chan, and you tensed, afraid you could see a badly hurt I.N.

“He is fine, Y/N.” He put his hand on the top of your head and turned it back to him. Looking into his eyes, you searched but found no traces of lying. Indeed, Chan looked quite chill, given the circumstances. “We feared he had a strained ligament or something, but he’s fine. I'll still hurt for the next few days, for sure. But he'll survive."

You breathed out in relief. “That’s great.” The story also explained his clothes.

Chan smiled at your concern. “Actually, they should be here at any minute now.” He glanced at the watch on his wrist.

“They?” You looked at him puzzled, but as if waiting for its cue, a loud calling Hyung! drew his attention.

When he turned around, keeping one hand gently on your elbow, he stepped aside and gave you a clear vision of the hospital's entrance.

Your heart caught in your throat. It wasn’t the imagery of an injured Jeongin, who limped just a little toward you and Chan, using a crutch to support his body. Oblivious, you didn’t even notice the way he was happily surprised to see you after so long, his dimples showing even after he had just left the hospital.

No. In all honesty, you had barely registered Jeongin’s presence at all at first. Instead, your eyes met with the figure following him, just slightly behind. The simplicity of the large white shirt and gray sweatpants would have made anyone else look comfortable, casual at most – but Lee Know wasn’t just anyone else. He wasn’t just comfortable or casual. He was so goddamn attractive - he was hot, you dared. His dark hair was even longer than it was the month prior, falling a little on his eyes depending on the movement of his face, and you had the urge to place a lock behind his ear.

He stopped walking suddenly, his gaze locking with yours. In that moment you knew the word that best described Minho: breathtaking – quite literally.

It lasted for a moment. Chan called for I.N and Minho started walking in your direction. Your eyes instantly deviated from his, and you forced yourself to focus on the maknae, rather than the burning stare coming from Minho or the blood flow running in your ears.

“Y/N!” Jeongin smile was contagious.

“Hey there, baby bread! How are you feeling?” You wanted to hug him, but you were unsure about his injuries, so you chose to stick with the smiling. Lee Know caught up to you all and placed himself by Jeongin's side.

“Oh, it’s nothing serious.” You saw him blushing. “This thing helps," he jiggled the crutch, "but it makes it seem way worse than it actually is. Ice will do just fine.”

“I’m glad you’re feeling better, Innie”. You smiled at him, and he smiled back. Keeping your hands in front of your body, highly conscious - conscious of your posture, choice of clothes, and greasy hair. You felt like a prey being watched by a predator – but choosing to avoid the predator’s eyes instead.

“What’s wrong with you?” Although Minho’s voice didn’t carry any resentment or accusation, you still winced. The sensation was like having a burnt hand and then someone grabbing it and placing it under a stream of cold water for relief. Yes, the relief would come right after, but first came the moment of shock and instinct to move away, before realizing how much you needed the cold water (his voice?) to relieve the pain of your burnt hand (your heart?).

“Come on, Lino. That’s not how you greet people.” Chan began, glancing at you apologetically. Unable to ignore him any longer, you let your eyes shift towards him.

His expression was a mystery, as hard as if it were sculpted in marble. Minho's face revealed no emotions, nor did his words. The bluntness could be mistaken by indifference, still his gaze was intense, making it hard to breathe and sending chills down your spine.

“Why would anything be wrong?” You questioned. Your voice somehow didn’t shake, and you hope you didn’t look as affected as you felt.

“Because I have eyes.” You felt your face growing hotter.  “And because you are in front of a hospital. What is wrong?” A sparkle of defiance lit in your chest – you owed him nothing. In fact, last time you checked, Lee Minho had made it very clear he did not want to see you.

“That’s not nice, Minho.” Chan scolded him, more fiercely this time.

“No, Chan.” You began, smiling warmly at Chris. He had so much on his shoulders already, you wouldn’t let Minho become another topic of trouble for him. “I’m fine, Minho. I’m here only to get checked up. Routine, that’s all.” You sustained his gaze with one of your own, hands held in fist so tight you’d later find red marks on your palms.

Minho raised a brow, almost mocking your poor explanation. The maknae spoke before him, “Are you sure you are well, Y/N?” The gentleness appeased your heart.

“You have to be joking.” Lee Know scoffed, apparently to himself but audibly to all of you. He was infuriating, daring to demand answers he had absolutely no right over! Why was he pressing on this? Why did it matter, anyway? Before you launched on him, Chan spoke.

“Okay! We’re done here.” He felt the weird energy between you two and wanted to prevent a war. “The driver is waiting for us, we need to go back. I.N, can you walk by yourself?”

“Yes, Hyung.” The maknae responded, particularly confused for the sudden shift but not daring to ask any questions.

Chan clapped “Okay, great. Minho, let’s-“

“I’m staying.” Minho said simply, placing himself by your side. Both you and Chan turned your heads to him abruptly.

“You are what?” You stepped away from him in disbelief. Your voice was a little higher than you wished. His face remained impassive, but there was something in his eyes that you quite put your finger on. “No, you are not.”

“Oh, come on. I’m not gonna do anything to you.” He exasperated.

You tried to sense his motives, but it made so little sense that it was hard to put some logic into it. Did he get some twisted pleasure from upsetting you? It could be. But again, not a month had passed after the incident at the company. Back then, the sight of you had triggered as far as rage in him. But even now, he didn't look exactly the type of person that was getting any satisfaction from being in your presence.

Chan’s tone was serious. “Minho,” His eyes left yours and shifted to the oldest, changing his demeanor in a bit. His posture was rigid, but his gaze carried a determined defiance. “What is going on?”

Minho pointed at you without adverting his eyes from Chan. You gasped angrily, about to protest, but he didn’t give you the space. “She is going on, hyung. Look at her. If not for the obvious signs of being ill, then for the fact she’s missing work to come to the hospital.”

You argued. “I’m missing work because my boss told me to!"

“Which only proves my point.” He continued, letting his hand fall right by his side. “Something is so obviously wrong that it was up to her boss to step in, or else I doubt she’d come by herself.”

Ouch. “Listen." You interrupted. "I don't know what's going on with you, but you’re making it way bigger than it actually is. I am okay and I most definitely do not need your help.” You glanced at Chris, but his attention was still directed to Minho. You could see the gears working in his head, but you decided it was time to leave. “It was great seeing you guys. I mean it. But I really don't have time for this. If you excuse me.” You turned your back and tried to leave, but in vain. Not even two steps later did a hand wrap around one of your wrists. Minho’s hold was gentle, but firm, and you tried to hide de burning in your cheeks. “YA!”

He pulled you closer than you were before, and his voice was deeper when he spoke. “How long has it been since you last saw your boyfriend?” You were dizzy. The sudden shift in subject, accompanied by the warmth Minho's hand transmitted to your wrist and the disdain he had put into the word 'boyfriend,' clouded your thinking.

“Jun?” You blinked, trying to disperse the fog, but the scent of his perfume was inebriating. Minho was too close. “I saw him yesterday.”

“You saw him yesterday?” Minho’s voice had a hint of disbelief, and he searched for lies in your eyes. You saw him becoming tense, and you prepared to feel his grip tightening, but the hold on your wrist remained the same. “Are you sure?”

“What?! Of course I am sure! What kind of question is that?” Angrily, you pulled your wrist away from his grasp. He let you, keeping his stare a little longer. “What is wrong with you?!” You turned your eyes to Chris, begging a way out of this insanity. You caught I.N behind him, almost as uncomfortable with the scene as you were. Chan sustained Minho’s gaze for a moment, and your eyes darted between the two of them. No words were spoken, but obviously they weren't needed. The silent conversation through telepathy or whatever the sorcery clearly didn't include you.

After what seemed like forever, Chan sighed, defeated. “Okay. Y/N," he turned to you. "do you mind if he accompanies you?”

“What?! This is madness! Of course I mind. I’m not a child!” You begged.

“It’s not that, sweetheart.” He got closer and you let him when he pulled you to a hug. “We’re just worried about you. We all know you’re very much capable of taking care of yourself.” He added the last phrase when he felt you were about to protest. “We just want to make sure you are okay and can go home safely afterwards.”

“I can do this by myself.” You mumbled.

“I know, I know. But Lee Know can’t. He won’t be able to rest if he doesn’t make sure you’re safe and sound.” He kissed your forehead. “And my mind will also be at ease if I know you’re with him.”

After a moment, you sighed. “Fine.” You accepted reluctantly, stepping away as Chan positioned himself next to the waiting maknae.

“Thank you, Y/N. You’re amazing. Lemme know how things go, yea?” Chan’s warm smile was impossible to be angry about. You nodded with your head and waved a tiny goodbye to I.N and watched them walk away.

Lee Know, didn't move an inch throughout the entire time.  When you turned to him, somehow, he seemed relaxed. Even his eyes had changed. Although they still carried a wince of something unknown - similar to concern but deeper in a way -, they were calmer. They were almost… gentle. It could’ve made you mad. He had made a huge thing out of nothing, stressed both you and Chris, and now dared to look at you with tenderness in his eyes. You exhaled, knowing it'd be pointless to yell at him. You were exhausted and had no energy spared to bicker. His motives was still undisclosed, but perhaps they weren’t important right now. You decided that your main task was to get whatever prescription as easily as possible, and then have a doctor to state you were not about to collapse. Then, not only would it solve the matter with your boss, but also it meant you would finally get rid of the man in front of you.

Okay, that sounds like a plan.

“Shall we?” Minho reached out his hand with an overly soft voice. You rolled your eyes.

"Weirdo." You cursed under your breath and avoided his hand, heading, finally, straight to the entrance. You did take note of the small chuckle he let out, and how he smoothly followed you behind.

[meeks-just-wants-to-scroll]

Shits bad so here’s Boone x Reader:

This was a gift for @cupiidskiss but I wrote it so anyone could read and enjoy.

Contains:

- gender neutral reader

- maybe a little ooc…

- corny, sappy fluff.

((Not beta read btw)).

~~~

You heard books shuffled aside and the worried muttering of a man. His heavy footsteps approached your hiding spot, you tensed up. The band aid was pulled when he leans over and spots you crammed between the wall and his penman desk. He opened his mouth but your uncaught sob made his brows raise.

“Fuck, is this why you’ve been hiding?”

You curled up tighter. He got to a knee and lowered himself, bending to meet your reddened eyes. His mouth twitched, his eyes cast downwards.

“Come out, will you?” He extended a hand and put a palm to the back of your shoulder, nudging you out.

You unfurled and wrapped your arms around him like a sundew. Boone fell backwards from his unstable squat and grunted. It morphed into a pathetic chortle as he processed what happened.

He lugged you to your feet and sat you on the couch. He fell beside you, putting up no fight when you wrapped around him.

Rough as his hands were, they felt wonderful gliding up and down your clothed back. The contact alone brought a wave of tears to the forefront. He stammered an apology, but for what?: For making you cry harder, for how things turned out, for nothing in particular?

You pulled away to wipe your nose but he pulled you back into a tighter clutch. You mumbled through a wobbling throat how you didn’t want to get his clothes all gross with your face. Your words failed when you felt his chest shutter.

He tried his best to keep it together and not start crying while nuzzling the top of your head. His hands felt up and down your shoulders; it was a self soothing gesture for himself.

You both needed this intimacy: just the two of you bonded through proximity and the warmth between.

Boone curled further into you, drawing you close simultaneously. You could feel his chest and belly deform around your front. His nose nuzzled through your hair until he was pressed to your neck. His mustache and lamb chops scratched your sensitive, hot-and-cold skin skin at first, but it grew softer as his motions slowed. His extremities pressed in from all around like the security of rope.

You leaned into him and to your surprise, he flopped over easy as wind. You turned your cheek to his chest and listened to his heart. It was fast from worry, you could feel it too, but his breathing was slow. He was copying what you showed him one time, and now you copy him.

You shakily inhaled, held it for a moment, then exhaled through your mouth. You did it again, putting as much conscious thought into tracking the repetition. Any moment away from the nauseating fast thoughts was worth clinging to.

It felt right in the moment to press your nose bridge to his shoulder and let sweet words of appreciation pour from your stressed lips. Your fingers carded through his hair and down to his lamb chops as you continued to mumble every word you needed him to know in that moment.

Low in his chest, a bubbling cry came. Somehow, he still squeezed you tighter, only for a moment. He released you with a sigh.

“Don’t leave me. Not today, not tomorrow, never,” he said into the fabric of your shirt. He sounded so soggy from his tears. You swore you could pull away from his chest and be faced with a deflated chopped, watery eyed, bottom lip trembling man.

How a man like him is changed so suddenly by an embrace is a mystery. Maybe he wasn’t changed, but more honest; no longer squaring his shoulders and brute forcing like a ram.

Boone’s throat worked for a moment, you couldn’t tell if it was a sudden wave of sobbing or what. He lifted his head and pinched the tears running down his nose bridge.

“I love you,” he finally said. Moments later, he sniffled and shoved his forehead back to your shoulder.

You chuckled, it was a yellow lifesaver in a hard to measure black body of water. You patted his messy curls like placating an overgrown baby.

He loudly snorted, then nasally asked, “what’re you laughing about?”

You tell him it’s nothing, still scrubbing his black curls. His brief stiff offense relaxes hearing you talk. He falls his head back on the ornate throw pillows and sighs.

“Can we stay like this? Just… talking. And being here, in the moment?” He hiccups.

You kiss his red cheeks and lick your lips of salt. Your smile is true when you tell him, “of course.”

[jimraisedmeup]

TICK // 18.1 - devil woman

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Rating: mature (angst, language, graphic sexual content)

Word Count: 1600

A/N: *fun, dirty, fluffy ;)

☾

I've had nothing, but bad luck Since the day I saw the cat at my door So I came into you sweet lady Answering your mystical call

☾

May 16, 1984 - junior year

Neither of you could sleep that night after vandalizing Higgins' house. Maybe it was the thrill of breaking the law, or maybe it was the thrill of sneaking your boyfriend into your room.

The more time that went on, the more you realized just how much you loved disobeying rules and keeping little secrets to yourself. Eddie's risky, unpredictable behavior was gradually rubbing off on you.

Regardless, you could never get enough of spending time with Eddie, talking to him for hours about random shit. 

"Didn't you tell me a while back that your parents wouldn't let you have a lock on your door?"

Eddie laid beside you, interlocking his bandaged fingers with yours. You chuckled to yourself at his question. Turning on your side to look at him, you memorized every detail of his face, even in the darkened bedroom. 

You looked at him nearly every day, and still you couldn't help it. The idea of ever forgetting this beautiful face was a rotten intrusive thought that crossed your mind, like the flashing, haunted memories of a bad dream.

Pushing away any unwelcome worries, you traced a finger over the tattoo on his bare chest.

"Yeah, they used to be like that. Before my mom left."

The brown eyed boy, half naked in your bed, lifted an eyebrow at you. "Who installed the lock?"

"I did."

"Really?"

"Is it that hard to imagine a woman using a screwdriver?"

Eddie snorted, running a hand down his face. "No, that's not what I meant. I don't know. I've never installed a lock before. I guess I'm just constantly impressed by you."

You didn't immediately respond to his compliment, choosing instead to stare at him quietly, blushing like an idiot at his words.

But then you were suddenly reminded of Eddie's surprise party you had planned that upcoming weekend.

"What are you doing this weekend? Saturday night?"

He pretended to think for a moment, humming to himself. "Oh, you know, the usual… I have a few cars lined up to throw some fireworks at… Hopper even said he might join me. And then I was thinking of following in my dad's footsteps and selling some drugs since I got kicked out of sch-"

"Eddie!" you hissed at him, pinching the pale skin of his ribcage. 

"Ow! Sorry! Bad joke, too soon." Eddie rolled over to face you, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "I have Hellfire Club on Friday night. I'm all yours on Saturday."

You inched closer to him. "My dad is going out of town this weekend," you mumbled, reaching a hand slowly towards his boxer shorts. "You can come stay the night here again. I kind of like harboring fugitives in my bedroom."

His breath hitched as you made contact with his cock through the thin fabric. 

"I… uh," the boy stuttered, grabbing onto your waist. "I'm not exactly a fugitive. Just a criminal."

You kissed him gently at first, trying to draw him in closer, if possible. You could tell by Eddie's heavy breathing and the hardness between his legs that he enjoyed your indirect touch, your short nails just slightly skimming his most sensitive parts through the shorts.

Eddie twitched when you grabbed his length completely. His hands roamed your chest, pushing up your loose shirt. 

The feeling of his teeth on your nipples was one of your favorite things - Eddie was almost always focused on pleasure, not so much pain. But when it came to your breasts, he seemed to be an animal unhinged, biting you, leaving love marks on the undersides of them. 

You had always been a little self-conscious about your breasts, but the man in your arms now made you feel like every flaw you ever thought you had, was actually perfection in disguise.

You had to stifle the noises that threatened to leave your mouth when he bit you roughly. You pulled down his shorts, giving into your complete need for him. Eddie must have felt it, too, because he lifted his hips without hesitation to allow you to undress him.

"I don't have a condom," he mumbled against your skin, the tips of his fingers already inside of you.

"That's fine."

You crawled onto him, straddling him, purposely pressing your damp panties against his cock.

Eddie's face held a playful smile, his hands pulling at the elastic of your underwear. "Umm... are you crazy? I'm not about to risk it for the biscuit." 

You leaned forward, laying a small kiss to his jaw.

"I wasn't asking you to risk anything."

Your kisses trailed lower… past the tattoo on his chest, past the birthmark near his hip bone that you had memorized like the back of your hand.

"I figured…" you dug your nails into his thighs, making him gasp. "I figured I kind of owe you after all your hard work earlier."

You winked at him, and then took him into your mouth. 

"Oh, fuck."

☾

Crystal ball on the table Showing the future, the past Same cat with them evil eyes And I knew it was a spell she cast

☾

After a few hours of sleep that night, you successfully flung Eddie out of your bedroom window so he could make his grand escape. 

He had arranged for Gareth and his older brother to pick him up around the corner, away from Richard Buckley's oblivious presence downstairs.

You entered the kitchen casually, grabbing a coffee mug and pouring yourself some of the hot, dark liquid. You tried to ignore the pleasure you felt from your sore breasts as they made contact with the fabric of your sweater, memories of your fun night with Eddie still clear in your mind.

Your daydreaming didn't last long, though. 

"So, I see that you brought my truck back in one piece."

Shit.

You choked on your coffee, not realizing that your father was in the doorway. His arms were crossed with the daily paper tucked under them. 

"Dad! I can explain." You put down the mug, holding your hands up in front of you. "Let me explain."

He glared at you for a moment, and didn't let you continue. "What explanation do you have? That is my work truck, young lady, not some beat up car you can take for a joyride in the middle of the night."

You tried to rack your brain for an excuse, or even how your father knew you left last night at all. He was a notoriously heavy sleeper. But you didn't have to wonder for long as your dad kept talking, his face turning red with anger.

"Kate woke in the middle of the night and saw the truck pulling back in the driveway. She claims that there were three people coming back into the house. So help me God, girl, if you brought that hellion into my home…"

Shit, shit, shit.

And then the voice of your savior sounded from the stairs. 

"That was my friend… Ashley," Robin said with unexpected confidence. "Long, brown, curly hair? Yeah, her parents were fighting last night so I wanted to go pick her up."

Richard Buckley was ten times more likely to believe Robin over you. It had always been that way, stemming from you ditching church on Sundays in your freshman year and becoming permanent the day you discovered his affair. He was never one to hide the fact that Robin was his favorite daughter.

He sighed, pressing down the sparse patch of hair on the top of his shiny head.

"You should have asked me first, Robin."

"We didn't want to wake you," Robin replied simply, passing him in the doorway and making her way to the fridge for orange juice. "C'mon, sis, we're about to miss the bus."

On your way to the bus stop on the corner, you squinted through your sunglasses at the morning sun. Your younger sister strolled beside you, blue eyes amused.

"Did you and Ashley have fun last night?" she said with a grin, voice heavy with insinuation.

"Oh, yeah, she's quite a lovely girl."

☾

She's just a devil woman With evil on her mind Beware the devil woman She's gonna get you

☾

"Well, well. Look who it is, the lucky man of the hour," Gareth bumped fists with Eddie as he leapt into the car.

"Thanks for the ride, fellas. I couldn't stick around there much longer. Hell hath no fury like a dickhead father scorned."

Gareth's older brother, Taron, bumped fists with him too. "Don't sweat it, I have to drive this little shit to school anyways." He was a year or two older than Eddie and one of the original members of the Hellfire Club. 

Ignoring his brother's rude remark, Gareth craned his neck towards Eddie in the backseat. "So… details?"

The Munson boy's face was stone cold. "Since when do I give you any details?"

"Well, I have to live vicariously through someone until Chrissy Cunningham notices me," Gareth explained, fiddling with the dials on the radio. "Plus, your girlfriend's kinda hot."

Eddie let out a bark of genuine laughter. "Chrissy and Jason have been together since, like, kindergarten. Keep dreaming, big boy."

Then he smacked Gareth on the back of the head. "And that's for calling my girl kinda hot. When, obviously, she is really hot."

☾

I drank the potion she offered me I found myself on the floor Then I looked in those big green eyes And I wondered what I'd came there for

☾

(song lyrics credit: "Devin Woman" by Cliff Richard)

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[welshtickleswitch]

FM/M Tickling Experience

This story happened when I used to work at a bar. I’d very occasionally end up staying a little later either working or having a good time while everyone else was kicked out.

This particular time myself and a group of workmates and some people we knew from

School were allowed to stay past closing for an hour to finish drinks etc.

I can’t even remember how this came about. But from the best of my recollection Anna (name changed for privacy) had a little thing for tickling. I sat next to her in one or two classes and she’s occasionally work tickles into the conversation or jab my ribs/squeeze my sides etc. This is also why she was allowed to stay with us after hours.

I remember her working tickles into the conversation somehow. (We had all had a lot to drink at this point.) an I remember one of the regular punters allowing her to test him out to no avail.

I remember watching chuckling then turning away thinking nothing of it. When I suddenly felt two fingers exploring my ribs.

Now I should mention I did used to have a thing for Anna but nothing ever came of it. Blonde, average height, clear skin, pronounced nose. Kept her fingernails trimmed and from what I remember. I did see her barefoot once in gym and she had a high arch and again trimmed nails with slight bubble toes.

I was very drunk so not my usual response of instant giggling. It was a very dull sensation but enough to make me smile. I thought I’d play into it and see where it lead. My hunch was correct…

I started giggling and fell into a lying position on the bar seating. This is where she took the opportunity to attack my stomach. Which is one of my weaker spots. I was giggling and “trying” to bat her away. At this time one of my mates came over to supervise my torture.

I started to crawl up the benches towards the end as tables were blocking my escape otherwise. My mate grabbed my belt to stop me going anywhere and started to wiggle his fingers under one of my armpits to stop me stretching.

I now couldn’t escape, couldn’t extend my arms for fear of armpit tickles and just had to endure Anna exploring my body looking for the best reaction.

She started to tease me for my “he-he’s” and “whoops” when she hit a sensitive spot. Her blunt nails and soft fingertips making perfect tickle tools to get to me. Stomach, hips, knees were all targeted. I don’t as too drunk to care and just enjoyed the moment.

That’s when I heard the fateful words “are his feet ticklish”. Before I knew it my shoes were off and her blunt nails were scraping around my socked feet. I arched my back at the new sensation and tried to “kick” her away. Very slowly obviously so as not to hurt her.

Then she decided she’d had enough and went for a full tickle attack up and down my body before thinking that she’d been too mean.

I was helped to put my shoes back on and get my coat as the pub was closing. I do remember her offering to get revenge by lying in the same position I was. But I was seriously drunk and a little self conscious at my group of pals looking at me. (To this day one of my biggest regrets. I know she’s quite ticklish.)

Not the longest tickling I’ve experienced but still a fun experience none the less.

[muckii]

Captain Kupidd

Wordcount: 1493 Summary: Kidd is bored and decides to help his three most shy crew mates along. TW: None ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Those fuckers are pitiful to watch! We should do something.” said the Captain in his usual annoyed voice and his frown growing when his first Mate answered “Leave it alone Kidd! They have to figure this out for themselves!” Killer releases a sigh and continues “Besides You know how sensitive Nyja is.” Kidd rolled his eyes, but a devilish grin spread across his lips and made it his personal challenge to meddle in his little sister's lovelife.

Meanwhile Nyja played cards with Heat and Wire, each of them secretly loving one another. The trio was blissfully unaware that they have become the Captains latest pastime activity against boredom. “You win again? Are you cheating big guy?” Nyja stared at Wire in suspicion. “I don’t need to cheat, I'm just that good.” Wire said proudly. Heat and Nyja just looked at each other for a second then gave each other a nod before starting to tickle Wire. It didn't take long for them to find the other cards, however their positions were almost sandwich like and each one more self conscious about it than the other. Big blushes on their faces and they awkwardly took their original positions again.

“Heat, Captain wants a word with you in his workshop!” Killer said to the droopy eyed Bluette Haired man. “Sorry guys, looks like you are on your own!” Heat excused himself and left Nyja who was suddenly very aware of herself with Wire. “Are you alright? Your face is all red. Do you have a fever?” Wire asked and took his huge Hand and placed it gently on her forehead. If at all possible her face became redder than her fiery hair. “I-I’m fine.” She shyly said while looking up at him, because even when sitting he was way taller than she was.

Meanwhile in the Captains workshop. “You wanted to see me Master Kidd?“ Kidd was working on something and without looking up he said “So, you like my little sister?” As always Kidd wasn’t beating around the bush. Heat froze in his tracks, he wasn’t quite sure where this was going and if his Captain knew does this mean that she knew too? “I do… How did you know?” Heat mumbled more to himself than really asking the captain. Kidd turned his head so fast you could hear a crack somewhere in that neck of his “I know everything that’s happening on my ship! Besides, why don’t you just get it over with and tell her? Hell, from where I’m standing you probably could just kiss her. You are a Pirate, are you not? So take the things you want. And if that’s not how you do things then use these!” Kidd shoved a pair of chrome cuffs that had fire on one and wires on the other. 

When it was Dinner time and the whole crew was in the galley, Nyja sat next to Kidd and Heat as usual. “Nyja, we are gonna do some renovations to Victoria. Your room being one of them so from today on, you’ll share a room with Heat and Wire.” Nyja who was drinking at the time spit Killers homemade cola straight into Heats face when Kidd said that. “Thanks for the heads up?!” Nyja deadpanned “Can’t I just share a room with you?” her eyes darted to Kidd. “No you can’t. We are grown ups, you are my little sister. I don’t want you anywhere near my fucking room!” Kidd replied with a smirk, in his mind this would do the trick. “But there's no space.” Wire replied, fully aware of how stupid that statement was, but the man knew if they would end up cuddling together somehow, he would not be able to control himself anymore. “Then push your fucking beds together, use your brains!” Kidd growled and his deadly glare indicated that this discussion was over. 

When Nyja entered the room with her stuff, Heat and Wire had already pushed the beds together and were obviously super uncomfortable and awkward. “You know guys, I can sleep on the floor if this is weird.” She said, picking up on the mood. “WHAT?!” Heat and Wire replied simultaneously. “Of course you are not gonna sleep on the floor. Don’t be silly!” Heat added, coming close to Nyja ruffling her hair. “I’ll just take a quick shower. Ok?”  She said awkwardly, avoiding eye contact at all costs. 

While Nyja was in the shower, Heat talked to Wire about the conversation he had with Kidd and handed him the cuff with wires on it. He immediately hid it between his things in the cupboard unlike Heat who waited for Nyja to come back out of the bathroom. Wire got the hint and gave them some privacy, but he was not quite ready yet. After all, if he would tell her how he felt, she would also need to deal with his desires. 

When Nyja entered the room she saw Heat sitting on the bed alone, he looked thoughtful. “You alright big guy?” she asked, laying her hand on his thigh. “Nyja, how do you feel about me and Wire? Because, and this is just me speaking for myself, I’ve been in love with you for the longest time now, but Wire and I we always and I mean ALWAYS share. Also I want you to have this.” He shyly handed her the cuff and rubbed the back of his neck. Nyja took a deep breath one could almost mistake it for a sigh and she silently said “M-Me too. I love you too. I always have both of you, that is.” Her face was on fire and her heart was racing, she did not know what to do here. “Can I put it on you?” He asked with a smile while gently tugging some of her behind her ear. His smile grew when she nodded. ‘Click’ One cuff was on.

Wire was a bit annoyed with himself for just running away. He thought it was ironic that Heat was the one to confess first. “Oi! Wire get in here!” He heard his captain yelling from his little workshop. The tall man entered the messy room with a frown on his usually quite emotionless face. “Let me guess. You refused to confess to my sister?”  The tall man just sat down next to his captain and nodded. “Think about it, you know how possessive I am and how dominant I get. I know Heat can handle it, but Nyja is so sensitive.” Wire stated. “You underestimate my little sister. She may be silent and sensitive, but she is a tough cookie and she won’t crumble that easily. Here, catch!” Kidd threw two collars and said with a wide grin “Make sure they know who they belong to!”

Wire ran back to the room where he found the two of them heavily making out. He locked the door behind him and went over to the two of them and pulled them apart. She looked at him with big eyes and didn’t know what to say. Instead he pulled her in for a kiss. No words needed. “You are mine! You are both mine!” He grunted through that kiss while placing the collar on her and after the kiss also on Heat.   

Wire pushed her gently onto the bed while biting her bottom lip. “Tell us, how far do you wanna go today?” Heat asked while kissing her shoulders from behind her back. “T-Truth is, I've never been with a man so let's just go with the flow. I guess? I don't know. I-Is that ok?” She answered shyly and her head moved nervously between Heat and Wire. They just smiled at her and placed kisses on her head. “Of course it is, Baby girl. But you need a safe word in case we end up going all the way!” Wire added.  

“Stars!” She said. Wire cupped her cheeks, lifted her head and said  “Also, if at any point you are uncomfortable let us know. I'm not just talking about sex here. Do you understand?” She nodded with a blush on her face. “Say it!” Wire said in a commanding tone.  “I-I understand.” Wire was satisfied, he bit her bottom lip and immediately gained access. Their tongues danced together and were fighting for dominance and with each second she could feel the heat in body rising. Heat in the meantime kissed and soon after found her sweet spot on her neck and began to bite it gently, then suck it until there was a clear mark. She could feel it was going to be a long night. The next morning the three of them were sleeping soundly in each others embrace, when suddenly the door opened and Kidd came in and said “You are welcome, fuckers!” “GET OUT!” The three of them yelled and threw their pillows at their captain. But he just grinned, his job was done. 

[schizosupport]

Hi, it’s the paranoid anon who had a crush on their friend, again…

I’m here to ask advice, again, I hope it’s okay? My social circle is pretty small…

The situation with my friend, currently, is bad.

Until a few days ago, I had the habit of commenting on her posts (ironic posts or even just straight sad posts) with what I thought to me was concerned half jokes.

I thought she didn’t like them, because one day she tagged everyone who’s a mutual friend and said that she’s just trying to make a joke, that she wanted to make us all laugh, and thanked for the efforts. (Plus a few sad and inverted face emojis)

So… I told her, that I thought I made her sad, and so unfollowed her to not hurt her and comment on her posts, to which she replied she wasn’t actually sad, and said it was all a meme (a joke).

And she also told me to keep commenting on her posts. In a very aggressive manner.

That made me feel hurt. Used, for a joke. I felt offended. I really dislike it when people boss me around. And would really not talk to her about it anymore. And also not follow her anymore.

She still interacts with me as before, but… I notice I’m trying to avoid her.

And I wanted to ask… is that an okay course of action? Am I being reasonable here?

I’m not sure because I’m pretty paranoid, and I know my paranoia can get the best of me at times. But I’m also unsure because I’ve been gaslight into doubt before, too.

Hi there anon! It's always ok to send an ask, don't worry about reaching out!

Ok so of course I can only speculate on some elements of this situation based on the information in your ask, so forgive me if I'm totally off.

So I'm going to be honest and say that based on what little information I have in this ask, your level of upset with her behaviour sounds like it might be a bit disproportionate. On the other hand, it also sounds like she's not been very sensitive to things that could upset you, and there can obviously be a number of elements in this situation that I don't know of, which is causing/influencing your reaction.

From your description this sounds like a series of misunderstandings and overreactions from each side. You'd been commenting on your friend's half-jokey sad posts with half-jokey concern. This is normal and okay behaviour. Then your friend makes a post to clarify that she may joke about being sad a lot, but she's ok don't worry, but thanks for the concern! I don't think anyone who is not the least bit sad makes sad humour posts, but she may have realized that some of it may be concerning to others. Alternatively, she may have felt self-conscious about being too open about her emotional life on social media. I have no idea how the sad and inverted emojis fit into this message, but also I'm old.

At this point you interpreted this post as if she's upset/saddened by your comments, you told her as much, unfollowed her and said you will stop commenting. Now again I haven't seen the post she wrote, but based on what you've told me, this isn't an obvious read of the post, and it wouldn't be an expected or desired reaction. She's clarifying that she's ok but 'thanks for the support anyways', and suddenly this is taken to mean that she was upset by the comments, and she is unfollowed by a close friend. You're doing this bc you feel that you've overstepped a boundary and you're trying to respect her, but from the other side this likely didn't make obvious sense. And in the most basic sense, I think she was hurt by it, and she replied aggressively and in generalizing terms.

Then this again is really uncomfortable on your end. You feel like you're being ordered to interact and like you've been made a fool of for showing genuine concern for your friend. Once again, perfectly valid to feel, but I think the reality of the situation is a bit more complicated.

I think she was upset bc you stopped following her (out of the blue from her perspective) and she genuinely appreciated your commentary. Likely for the joke, and likely for the kernel of truth underneath the joking. So I don't think she was telling you to 'keep generate content with me' as much as she was saying 'wtf pls don't cut my hand off all of a sudden'. And given that you reason for unfollowing was your concern that you make her sad, she would be expected to double down on the notion that it's all a joke.

Obviously this all comes down to dynamics and conversations that I'm not privy to, and as I said, there could be factors i don't know of. All I'm saying is that based on what little info you have given me, this isn't necessarily a sign that either of you have wronged the other.

With that being said, even if it's an unreasonable course of action to avoid her etc, I think that it can still be an okay course of action. You are your own person.

I do think that it's important not to dismiss your feelings and desired boundaries out of hand. I think it's worthwhile to examine the evidence behind it, but even if you found yourself completely unreasonably uncomfortable with someone's company, you still get to respect your boundaries and take a break from that person. Taking a step back from a relationship and examining it from above can be helpful in figuring out if that relationship is healthy to you or not.

You can be hurt or uncomfortable even if the other person has a good explanation for their behaviour, even if their behaviour was objectively ok. And you are in your right to take a break or pull away from a relationship if that's what feels best.

But if you are unsure, and if you hope to get back to what once were in a relationship, then trying to have a conversation about what is going on can be helpful. And if pulling away entirely, throwing a 'I'm sorry but I'm feeling triggered and uncomfortable in the relationship right now so I'm going to retreat for now' is a worthwhile effort in my opinion.

Because from the other end, it's very upsetting to be suddenly ghosted, unfollowed or even blocked by a friend for reasons they may not even begin to understand.

I don't know if this is helpful, but that's what I'm thinking off the top of my head. I hope everything goes well, whatever you choose to do!

[boneheadduluc]

I'm in need of some Andrea smut every time I read something about him there is no sex because this was in the 30's and it would be inappropriate to do it before marriage. So...let's get inappropriate (?

no mommy kink please, i can't cope with that

Actually this was going to happen v/ soon in my fic of Andrea BUT I'll write a quick drabble/one shot for you bc same! we need that in our lives :) I'll be doing gender neutral reader for dis ;) Warnings!! 18+ , loss of virginity, perhaps slight edging? oral on reader (female presenting) and NO mommy kink per request :)

Rules were rules. Marry a nice man, then lose your virginity. You had been following those rules. Even now, you lived alone in a small cottage on a hill. And you still haven't lost it. You never felt inclined too really...and you were fine with that. It's just everyone in the village usually was a kid or a senior. No one was around your age, so you preferred a secluded kind of life. 

 Even if that meant following rules you didn't want to follow. You hated that you didn't have a choice. You hated how your parent's voice replayed in your head over and over. Telling you “wait! get married first!” You were sick of it, you were desperate sure, not desperate enough to lose it to whoever you met, but then...

 a new boy showed up, you learned his story since you were a bit close with Janet and Ursula, the old sisters who were housing the young man. So you met him, and god... he was just your type.

Plus they invited you over so he could play for you? meaning the violin. At first, you felt a little out of place... until he started playing. Needless to say, he was more than talented than you expected. You’d never heard anything like it, afterward, he wanted to talk to you surprisingly. 

“What is you name?” he tried his best to speak, you were told his English wasn't the best so you found it more endearing than anything and applauded his effort since he’d only been here for a few weeks. So you looked to him, sitting beside you with wide eyes and rosy cheeks. His hair was a bit shaggy as he shook the hair out of his eyes.

“Oh, my name is (y/n).” You gave a warm smile, shifting in your seat to face him more. “And you are Andrea, yes?” and he nodded before he repeated your name warmly, and honestly you loved the way it sounded in his mouth.

------------------

Weeks passed, you visiting, Andrea playing for you, afterward, you would talk to Andrea, his English noticeably getting better. And sometimes he would even be a bit of a flirt. So one day you just asked the sisters if they would allow you to take him into town. You did your best to sound as friendly as possible and it seemingly worked.

You showed him a few of your favorite places, took him dancing to the pub. Though he wasn't a very good dancer, you had to kind of show him. Guiding his hands to land on your hips and pull you close, telling him to watch your feet as he got red because honestly he couldn't help but stare at your face. 

Then finally he asked to see your home. And you couldn't help be nervous, he had been making eyes at you all day, smirking like a cat with cunning eyes. Like he had so much more in that head of his, thoughts that he wasn't sharing. Plus he was already holding hands with you, keeping you close to him as he kept calling you ‘Liebling.’ And of course you didn't refuse him, not at all. So by the time, you were halfway up the path on the mountain and he slowly stopped walking, staring at you with a sweet smile. 

“Something the matter Andrea?” you questioned- confused as to why he had stopped. He moved slowly, stepping closer to you, leaning in, quickly pressing a kiss to your cheek. Then backing away, checking your eyes for permission. You nodded and Andrea knitted his brows together, exhaling through his nose as he slowly moved to press a kiss to your other cheek. Gently. Wonderfully. Then your forehead. The tip of your nose, then finally his mouth hovered over your own. Breath shaking with feverish anticipation.

You ached to lean in and finish what he started, but you wanted to see if Andrea would do it himself, and after about 5 nervous seconds you felt him roughly slot his lips against your own.

You were lost, blindly lost to pleasure and yearning. You barely realized the way you pulled him up the hill, mouths slotted together as you rushed backward, your back soon up against your door, your hands at his waistband, he moaned against your mouth.

And soon enough you were turned around and inside and he was walking backward as you led him to your bed. Pushing against his chest as he sat and you climbed his lap. Kissing him so harshly you felt your teeth clink against his own, embarrassed you pulled back, your hand coming to your lips. 

“I apologize, Andrea-” You were breathless, with shy eyes and flushed cheeks. 

He looked the same, though less embarrassed. More lustful than anything. 

“No, no-” He started softly. “You are wonderful.” He spoke slowly, catching your eyes as he brushed your hair out of your face with his thumbs. Putting a strand of hair behind your ear lovingly. 

“But...I need-” He started up again, and he groaned out, almost a whimper really, like he was in pain and that's when you felt something poke against your inner thigh, and then you understood. You ground forward and watched as his mouth fell open. Andreas eyebrows furrowing, his face growing red, a moan caught in his throat.

“Oh, you wonderful creature.” You mused. Almost amazed at the power you held over him. So you did it again and again until he was begging for you to let him cum. 

“Please...Please (y/n)-” He buried his face into your neck, his large hands on your waist, fingers digging in deeply, his shoulders going tense at your dry humping. 

A part of you was nervous honestly. You didn't know if Andrea was also a virgin, but judging by his closeness already ...you were gonna bet on the fact he was, but then again you didn't know what you were doing anyway. 

So instead, you simply stopped. And he stopped breathing. He was frozen actually, and you wondered why, a part of you wanted to laugh, he was curled up into you, unmoving, holding you. 

“Andrea?” you questioned and finally he moved, looking up at you, 

“I do something wrong?” he slowly drawled out, voice tiny and nervous and you shook your head. “No, of course not I just...have you ever done this before?” It was your turn to be tiny and nervous now, especially self-conscious. 

He gulped, Andrea understood. And he slowly shook his head ‘no’

“I'm sorry,” he whispered and it almost broke your heart. 

“Oh my love, no! You have nothing to be sorry for. I have never...done this... either. So it's okay Andrea. And...and honestly, we don't have to do anything if you don't want to.” You cupped his face, giving him a warm smile and he returned one. Slowly pressing a kiss to your lips. 

“I want you.” He whispered after breaking the kiss barely. 

And that was all you needed to push him back on the bed so he was laying down. You climbed atop him, undoing his pants slowly. He raised himself on his elbows, watching you, breathing heavy, eyes flickering back and forth between you and your hands. 

And suddenly he took your hand, putting it away from him. Softly and gently and lovingly.  “first you. Let me...help.” He muttered, looking to you for permission and so you switched roles and he was helping you undress from your light dress. 

And you were naked and self-conscious and nervous in front of him. 

But he was smiling, eyes running over your perfect form. You were perfect to him, everything about you, even the things you considered a flaw, he would reach out, brushing his fingertips lightly over them. He muttered how you were beautiful before reaching with both hands to your thighs. Parting them slowly, gently as all his movements were. 

He slowly moved off the bed, to his knees as he pulled you to the edge of the bed, your legs over his shoulder, his eyes on yours, looking up to you the entire time. Your hands gripped the blankets harshly and nervously. But you nodded at him and he leaned forward, delving his tongue over your entrance. And you moaned, the feeling making you throw your head back. 

And he did it again, though opening his mouth even wider, taking you into his mouth, his tongue lapping up your wetness. Moving up to run over your clit. And you shivered, sensitive all over. 

He realized that was the spot, so he did it once more and got the same reaction, actually an even bigger one. Your back was beginning to arch. Toes curling. 

And he kept eating you out- tongue sometimes delving into you, into your warmth and he would moan against your wetness and heat. Eyelashes fluttering and closing as you would spread your legs further, pushing your cunt against his mouth- thighs shaking and quivering as you felt a knot of heat in your lower stomach slowly coming closer and growing bigger. And finally you were gripping his hair, pulling as he whimpered against you. 

“Oh Andrea- Andrea Im so- Im going to-” You could barely get a full comprehensible sentence out before your thighs were convulsing around his head and your back arching and a loud moan was drawn out from deep within you moaning- screaming his name as a intense orgasm slapped you right across the face, and god- you were exhausted in all honesty. You even fell back on the bed, his tongue still on you though as if he couldn't get enough, nose sometimes even nudging up against your clit as he hungrily and greedily tasted everything in you. 

And as much as it was amazing soon you were becoming over sensitive and with each lick and moan of his against your pussy you were being shocked, body twitching and you pulled back, breathless, a mess for a lack of a better term. 

And you began to chuckle as well as he rose up now, smirking at you, his lips and chin, all slick with your wetness and his own spit. And you grinned right back at him, and pulled him down to meet your mouth as you kissed him, without a care in the world. It was almost satisfying to taste yourself on Andreas tongue. 

But finally you broke the kiss, cupping his face as you knew what came next. “Your turn my love.” You muttered. Sitting up now as you went for his belt, undoing it slowly, hoping he wouldn't stop you again. Though it was worth it last time. But he allowed you to- Andrea even began unbuttoning his shirt. Throwing it to the floor along with your dress, as you followed up with taking off his belt and pulling the pants away- his cock finally free and hard. Fully upright, beads of pre-cum forming at his reddened tip. He was so desperate, it was clear in his expression. Mouth slightly agape as he watched you. 

You thought for a moment, wondering on what you should do now. On what position and honestly how all of this was gonna go. A part of you was scared as you shuffled back on the bed, and patted the space beside you, signaling him to come be by you, but first he began shuffling out of his shoes, then along with his pants until he was fully naked. The look on his face signaling he didn't want you to feel self conscious with him being half clothed, so he decided he too would be fully undressed for this.  He moved beside you now, huffing out a short breath, nervous. It was clear so you pulled him close, kissing his jawline softly.  “Lets go slow, yes?” You mumbled to him softly. He looked up at you, shoulders tense as he nodded. “Yes mien Liebling.” he whispered back, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he furrowed his brows again for you were laying back now, resting your head on the pillow as you slightly spread your legs for him to fit in between. So he moved to lean over you, head of his cock teasing against your lower belly softly, it made him whimper as you couldn't help but giggle as you looked up to him, he looked beautiful this way.  “Should I- uhm..” he stuttered, cheeks burning red as he lowered himself slightly, trying to align himself with your entrance.  “Yes Andrea- go ahead.” You bit at your lower lip, eyes gazing as he closed his eyes, throbbing tip budding at your opening, he pushed his hips forward, his tip sliding in before it slipped upwards, you really were that tight- though you felt bad, for if you were more relaxed it would've gone in easier. “I apologize-” you mutter, exhaling shakily but he shakes his head.  “No- not your fault.” Andrea shares a calming smile, his eyes shining as he looks deeply into your eyes.  “I try again.” he reassured and positioned his cock to your entrance once more, this time sliding it in your slickness and heat easily. You held your breath, feeling him stretch you wide, Andrea on the other hand groaned out, whimpered as his head fell into the crook of your neck. You couldn't imagine how sensitive he must be at the moment.  He kept sliding in until he couldn't anymore, and he filled you to the brim, you felt so full and couldn't help but moan softly, your hands going to the back of his nape, playing with his hair, twirling it around your fingers, admiring the feeling of his warm body atop of yours, holding you. he stayed still, immediately understanding you would need some time to adjust. So you two stayed still, breathing and trying to figure this all out, he lifted his head, and you just stared at him until the two of you broke into small laughter. Warm chuckles filling the air around you, and you caught his lips softly, he laughed into your mouth even- so shy and nervous, Andrea couldn't help it. But after a minute of kissing and nervously giggling you finally felt ready. You broke the warm kiss. And caught his eyes. “Andrea I think I'm ready...move...please?” You muttered shyly- you didn't want to sound demanding but were soon relived when he just smiled at you. Giving you a look as to say “of course.”  And he pulled out halfway, inhaling deeply as he then slid back in setting up a pace, not to fast not to slow, just right honestly. And that's when you felt the pleasure slowly beginning to take over the slight discomfort. When he soon began pumping into you like a animal in heat. You moaned his name over and over, arching your back as you watched his face turn desperate. He would mutter in polish and German. whispering into your ear and you couldn't help but scratch at his back. He changed his angle slightly, cock hitting your g-spot. 

“Oh! Oh Andrea you- oh fuck.” You cursed, closing your eyes. “Yes harder please.” you moaned out, feverishly. Everything felt so hot, you were even sweating across your forehead slightly.  And he did as you commanded, pushing harder, fucking into you, moaning brokenly each time he pushed in. The squeeze of your pussy around him making him lightheaded even. He dropped his head to your chest eventually. Tongue finding its way to your nipple. Opening wide and sucking on your breast. And you felt so sensitive, everything overwhelming you but in the best way possible. 

“Oh yes, yes-” you chanted, breathless and suddenly wrapped your thighs around him, flipping the two of you over so you were on top, he gasped- eyes wide as he looked to you, his face becoming flushed once more- the sight of him was enough to push you to the edge as you began to bounce on his cock, suddenly reaching you climax, steadying yourself by putting your hands to Andreas chest- your back arching as you clenched around his cock, falling forward now- pushing your lips together. 

He kept thrusting into you though- desperate to cum inside, “Please- please.” He begged for release, closing his eyes as you groaned softly, your insides sensitive as you sat back up, and it only took 2 bounces on his cock for Andrea to be moaning out your name- as he gripped your thighs and soon you felt his warm seed fill you up, he whimpered and fucked into you harshly now- sitting up and pulling you close, fitting his mouth over your tit to muffle the shameful sounds spilling out of him. 

As he fucked through his climax he soon began to slow down, exhausted as you moaned- feeling him suck your nipples softly now, closing his eyes as his breathing calmed. 

You ran your fingers through his hair softly. Kissing the top of his head- satisfied now and he now popped off your tit, lips a bright color that matched his cheeks. He smiled at you and you grinned back, pressing a kiss to his nose. You raised yourself off of him, and you felt his warm seed inside of you, you adored the feeling as you rolled off and laid down- he lowered himself to be by you. 

“You were amazing Andrea- absolutely wonderful.” You sighed softly as his hand reached your stomach, drawing invisible lines with his fingers over the soft skin. Andrea shyly smiled now. “Danke.” he whispered in German, you knew what it meant and chuckled softly. 

“Im sleepy.” you whispered, and it was true- your eyes were heavy and Andrea nodded. “Sleep.” he kissed your cheek warmly. And so you did, you fell asleep to him cuddled beside you, humming a tune that was familiar to you. 

[hotwings0203]

An Ode to the Unseen

Thinkin about readers who feel self conscious, readers who feel like they’re not happy with their weight, readers who don’t feel girly enough or feel too vulnerable because of whatever height they’re at. I’m thinkin about readers who suffer from body dysmorphia, who shy away from looking at themselves in the mirror to avoid seeing their scars, body hair or acne. This is for the readers who feel too submissive and feel like a pushover in their lives, and this is for the readers who feel like they’re too fiesty and not soft enough. It doesn’t matter if you feel like you can’t relate to the stereotypical tropes in writing, or if you feel like you can’t act like a perfectly constructed Y/N in real life, this ones for you💖

A/N: Hello to all reading! I made this on a whim just to tackle some of the insecurities lesser described characters in stories might feel, but this is in no way meant to exclude anyone at all! We all have beautiful bodies, and should own up to it even if we don’t always see the problems we face in writing. Some of these topics might be sensitive to readers or trigger memories that might be disturbing to others, so please heed the warnings! Also the Hawks prompt at the end gets pretty nsfw, so heads up for that hehe

CW: dubcon, manipulating, fluff, slight angst, EDs, body dysmorphia, kidnapping, abuse, degradation, some nsfw, yandere, language, insecurity

You’re ever feeling not particularly happy with your face or body because of an acne breakout, or a rash that won’t go away? Maybe a birthmark that you try to cover up with makeup? Even stretch marks or scars from surgery?

You can bet your ass shigaraki will notice the way you can barely glance at the mirror some days just so you don’t have to see your own reflection when it’s time to go to bed with him.

His obvious and intense stare makes you fidget and gets your skin crawling, but he says nothing that night when he holds you a little too tightly-tighter than most nights he’s with you. The sound of his raspy breaths lulls you to sleep, but when you wake up he’s already gone, out on another mission or at a meeting with the Yakuza.

You feel groggy and gross, and going to the bathroom just to look in the mirror again to see whatever ails your body and/or face does nothing to stop your groan of misery.

You do your business all while turning away from your reflection, not wanting to see a second more of your discontentment staring right back at you while you wash your face, brush your teeth, and meticulously do your hair.

Finally making your way downstairs to the bar, you sit on one of the barstools and hold your head in your hands, not wanting to meet anyone’s gaze and no doubt seeing their disgust at your ailment.

But you look up when a soft whirring sound and purple-black tendrils of smoke appear before you

“Young master L/N,” Kurogiri says. “Have you been feeling alright? You retired earlier last night and had the most uncomfortable of expressions on your face, I couldn’t help but notice.”

No matter how much you despised or were wary of Tomura, you knew his caretaker, Kurogiri, had your back. He was respectful of your space, and if he knew you weren’t in the mood for talking then he wouldn’t push you

And so you told him your predicament, opening up about your problem spot(s)

“It’s so embarrassing, Kurogiri. I feel gross and I feel like everyone’s looking at me,” you mumble, putting your head down on the cool polished wood countertop.

He’s silent for a moment or two, before the tendrils of his supposed hands warp into a small portals. They appear again immediately, producing a couple of bottles and place them in front of you.

You raise your head slightly at the sound of sloshing liquid and rattling pills as the bottles are lined up before you in an orderly fashion, and you eye them suspiciously.

“What’s this?” You ask, picking up a tube as your curiosity is piqued.

“Young master Tomura Shigaraki had warned me beforehand of your reclusive nature when you ponder on what cannot be controlled, and sent me a list this morning to pick up some medication that might help you, should you need it. He asked me to bring back every item as soon as possible, so you wouldn’t feel the need to procure anything by yourself and strain yourself unnecessarily.”

You scoff, not buying the surprising act of affection. “So, what, he’s just doing this so he doesn’t have to look at my disgusting (body part of choice) anymore? He wants to come back and see some perfectly molded pet to stare at all day?”

Kurogiri shakes his head, however.

“I know how the young master is perceived to many: abrasive, immature, and brash in his thoughts and actions. He has a long way to go in terms of maturing in the way he views things, and unfortunately he was not blessed with…the best of upbringings, so he truly doesn’t know any better, as you already know.”

You wince internally, feeling slightly guilty now.

“But,” he continues slowly, “he was not born with evil in his heart. He’s just bitter with society, and is desperate for others to know his pain and see the world for what it really is towards those who are suffering. That’s why he is so taken with you, young L/N. Before you came here, he observed your mannerisms and was thoroughly attracted to the way you could see through people’s surface level facades. Although your views on the world may differ here and there, he is desperate to show you that he understands your suffering, and that he’s there for you-“

“-yeah, well, he has a funny way of showing it,” you mutter darkly, memories of chains and dark rooms and various marks on your body flashing through your mind. Even if Kurogiri was telling the truth, it would take some time for you to come around and even begin to try to give yourself to Shigaraki. He was just too volatile, too rough and negligent of your wants and needs. He lashed out at everything you did, and made you feel like nothing you ever did was enough to please his shifty nature.

“Yes, I can understand you bitter feelings towards him,” the black and purple mass hummed in thought. “I have tried explaining how a human girl is to be treated, however, and he is slowly trying to learn. I feel as though he may feel embarrassed at times from his lack of knowledge at such simple social norms, and that is another factor of his frequent temper tantrums. He might be the leader of a powerful villain organization, but when he realizes he has no knowledge of making friends or keeping relationships, it’s an embarrassing blow to his ego. Especially with you, he is especially sentimental and touchy regarding topics that pertain to you. He often will sit here in silence after you two have a, uh, little spat, and hesitantly will seek my advice on how to make things up to you. ”

And you realize with a grimace that he’s right-there are days after you both have a big blowout(usually over the most pettiest of things, maybe you turned away from him while sleeping and he took it as a sign of disobedience, or maybe you didn’t greet him when he came back from an especially tiring mission and he used that opportunity to take his pent up stress out on you) that he’ll come back after storming out of the room only to creep back in hours later with various trinkets in his hand.

You’d be alerted of his presence when the pitch black room is blessed with a yellow ray of light from the opening creaky door as he enters, and you will yourself to continue breathing slowly, as if you were still asleep. But he’s so quiet and stealthy as he comes closer to you, it’s hard not to be surprised and flinch or jump when his arm reaches over you just to place one of your favorite snacks on the cracked dresser next to you.

It’s hard to keep your head down on the dusty pillow and keep your curiosity in check when you feel him breathing down your neck as he lays a stuffed animal on the blanket next to you, and you often wonder where he knows to buy such fragile and innocent things.

Your aesthetic that he so closely has memorized from each singular color to the details of your favorite patterns make a stark, disturbing contrast to his greying, deadly aura. It’s almost impressive that he pertains each gift to your taste when he’s feeling especially sorrowful

“But nevertheless, the master has asked me relinquish these to you as soon as you came downstairs. And, just between me and you,” he leans closer and you do too, finding yourself wanting to know this secret side of your captor even further, “he was muttering something as he left, something along the lines of not wanting you to feel like you had to use these products. I think he was trying to say that he never wants you to feel as though you have to make up any part of your body you feel insecure about to him. He wants you to stay the same way you always are, and if you never adjust to your surroundings here, then he at the very least wants you to be comfortable in your own skin, blemishes and all.”

“This may or may not come as a surprise to you, but he himself knows what it’s like to feel insecure about his own skin and body,” and it comes across so ridiculously innocent and striking to you that such a lethal character such as the infamous Shigaraki would have the same problems a normal, functioning member of society would have: skincare and body insecurity. But the lines, scratches, and scars that litter his face can attest to this notion. How often did he himself avoid looking in the mirror for, not wanting to see his translucent skin, the clawmarks that left bright, angry trails up his face and down the sides of his neck, the cracks in and around his lips and eyes? Is that why he left his hair down skit covered his face, and the hand on top covering him whole more often on than not?

And so you finally open the lid to the tube, testing the feel of its contents that promise your mutinous skin some time of relief.

The door suddenly bangs open, and the man of the hour himself slinks in, nails idly scratching the underside of his jaw as he mutters under his breath to himself.

He lifts his head and sees you and kurogiri at the bar, a tube of ointment in your hand , the lid opened in testing as the rest of his presents are in array all around you.

As if you were accepting them.

As if you were accepting him

He feels his face beat up and his deteriorating body starts to prickle and sweat. He merely scratches harder, his mumbling continuing as he slowly makes his way over to you

You watch his little unsure shuffled towards you, and you can’t help it when your heart twinges as you take in his hopeful yet cautious expression, no matter how hard he tries to stifle any vulnerable emotion

So, in a moments decision of truce you quickly lean forward to whisper to Kurogiri one last favor before turning to see a new light of your captor

“Before I go, I need some things from you, please. By tonight, do you think you could pick up some self care things at the corner store for me? I’m talking face masks, lotions, Vaseline, and hair products.”

“I think if I see him accept himself and care for the body he’s in least for one night, I could be happy in my skin, too.”

Feeling conscious about your weight, whether it’s over or under your preferred look? Please, don’t make Kiri laugh at your naivety

You groaned as you stood on the scale, the numbers reading back at you seeming more mocking than simple statistics

You weren’t meeting your preferred weight, and it was beginning to take a harsher toll on you now more than ever with Kiri around all the time

It was easier to ignore it when you lived by yourself in secluded bliss, where the walls of where you lived couldn’t talk or pass judgement about your eating habits, the times you did or didn’t keep up with yourself as months of promising to do the Chloe Ting workouts turned into forgetful reminders that dwindled down into barely passing thoughts.

Where you had your own, carefully chosen friends who could relate and share the secrets of their insecurities, the little area of pudge that just won’t go away, that upper area of their arms of legs that refused to build muscle even after months of eating straight protein and going to the gym.

You got to choose your own happiness, you got to choose if you wanted to spend countless hours scrolling through social media with your coworkers, gazing in envy at the hundreds of models people swooned over, or if you wanted to call it a day and eat a whole bucket of cookies and cream ice cream while watching a sappy rom com, just because it made you happy

But now, not so much

You could tolerate Kiri gradually distancing yourself from friends who he thought didn’t have the “best interests” for you

You could patiently follow the chipper rules of his house to wait for him when he got home, greet him at the door in nice clothes, and sit down to eat dinner with him

You even started getting used to having his eccentric, loud friends over who bustled and teased you around when Kiri invited them over for a boys night even if that “boys night” ended in them being hurriedly ushered out as he caught a glimpse of you in an accidentally-provocative apron

But your sanity and self worth was slowly started to snap like an overstretched rubber band when it came to trusting your body. Your mutinous, betraying body that just didn’t do what you fucking wanted it to do, that was constantly compared to the models friends Kirishima would bring around, like Mina and Jirou

They were angels, of course, so, so sweet to you

Constantly reassuring you that the new dress your captor boyfriend practically shoved you in in his eagerness to see you in red (his color) fit oh so well on you

They tried to convince you that no, the dress wasn’t stretched too tight on you to be considered healthy, and no, it didn’t need to be shrank in some places either

They tried, they really did

Unfortunately for them however, their relentless support didn’t hold a candle’s light to the body builders and Pilates instructors Kiri would model with for health magazines almost every month

They could never understand what it was like to be in constant doubt and shame when you feel your seemingly mismatched figure, their bodies reflecting healthy proportions in every nook and corner, skin and smooth and soft as a baby’s, with glowing reflections of perspiration

And you always seemed like the only poor unfortunate soul who sat in the corner, sulking and watching ripped muscles and leaned, toned limbs mingle amongst each other to socialize and effortlessly slide inside various apparel that of course fit their body and shaped them in ways you couldn’t even dream of

And it didn’t help that night after night, Kiri would hold you on his lap, bouncing his eager knee as he shoveled bite after bite of food into your unwilling mouth

He infantilized the hell out of you, convinced you were too naive and self-loathing to see your true beauty and how he had to take it on himself to show you what he saw in you

It made you feel pathetic, and helpless. Maybe that’s what you were though, maybe that’s really what he was trying to show you

You felt like you deserved it, anyways

So you stand there, on the weighing machine, feeling the last shreds of self confidence slip down and out of your body, akin to the light tears that splash on the marble bathroom floor.

“Babe? What’re you doing?”

Aw, fuck

You quickly brushed away your tears and stifled your imminent sobs to avoid being coddled as usual by the gentle giant who stood behind you

It frustrated him to no end, no doubt. It didn’t matter how often he’d sit you down and kiss you all over, letting you know how much he loved every precious inch of your body, it didn’t matter how gently he’d cradle your face to force you to look into his eyes just to tell you how beautiful you were, how lucky he is to have kidnapped you

It was never enough for your fragile heart, and he saw it in the way you flinched under his praise and shrunk under his loving gaze that raked over your body that he compared to an angel’s

As if you thought he was a liar, just saying it for your sake

As if you didn’t believe his words, as if you didn’t want to believe his words

As if you were disobeying him

“It-its nothing Kiri, just PMS,” you mumbled, the snot in your nose making you sound nasaly and shaky

“Your period was two weeks ago, and none of your symptoms have ever made you throw up.” He says with a raised eyebrow, his arms crossing as he leans against the doorframe

So he did see you slip out after dinner and head straight for the toilet, huh?

Busted

If he wasn’t so worried about you, he would’ve ditched the mild tone kept up for your sake and had you bent over one knee with a red ass just for lying to him

But from the way you quickly step off the scale and attempt to squeeze past him tells him you aren’t just being hard-to-get, you’re not in one of your resistance fits

And he thinks he knows exactly what’s causing you to not-so-subtly shift your eyes from the weighing scale back to your own body, as if you hadn’t already been doing that for weeks now

He just has to make sure

“Did someone say something to you?” He catches your arm and gently yet firmly prevents you from slipping past him outside the bathroom, away from him

“No, no, seriously I just felt sick, I think I ate something weird,” you try to laugh breezily but the waver in your voice does nothing but further increase Kirishima’s aching heart for you

“You sure? ‘Sure I don’t need to go talk to someone who maybe said the wrong thing to you?” And although his cheerful voice holds nothing but playful jest, the dark glint in his eye does nothing to indicate that all he wants is a friendly talk, especially when he tightens his grip on your arm and pulls you so close that you’re nose to nose with him, looking right at him with tears eyes and flushed cheeks

There’s no point in pretending anymore. He might seem like an airhead, but he’s not one of the city’s top hero because of his airy, gentle nature

“Ugh, no Kiri, no one said anything to me. I just…” you trail off, not wanting to feel the inevitable embarrassment you’ll feel when you tell him the truth

How disgusting you feel when you see his buff, toned, chiseled body that’s akin to a Greek God’s compared to yours

How you long to secretly have the right figure to one day be worthy enough to be deemed his partner in a modeling gig, just once, just to feel like you’re worthy of him and his equivalently built body, a body that reflects hard work and perseverance

Something you seldom see or feel in your own mass of distorted limbs

“What is it?” He pleads softly, begging you to let him fix anything for you, to let him be a man good enough for you

You look into his ruby red eyes that hold a puppy-in-love expression, and when you find only adoration for you in them, you can’t help yourself for falling into the trust and care you so desperately want in that moment

“I’m…so tired of not feeling good about myself. About feeling overweight, underweight, seeing bits of pudge and flab in one area and then seeing some thin and gangly areas in others. Like, I just want my body to be normal, to be healthy like all the people you model with. I feel like nothing I do or eat or wear makes my body look how I want it to look, and no matter how much I try it’s so hard for me to see the beauty of what you see in it.”

And finally you can’t bear looking at him anymore, so you squeeze your eyes shut and turn away

Much to his credit, he pulls you in and nestles your head against his chest, letting your tears and snot wet his tank top

“Oh hun, is that all this is?”

You roll your eyes and try to pull back from his chest, but he doesn’t allow it as he simply holds you there, shushing you and rocking you back and forth

“Kiri, that’s a pretty big thing for me.”

“I know, but…why are you so concerned about how they look anyways? I mean, that’s their job, right? To look good for pictures!”

“I don’t understand,” your voice comes out muffled against his shirt.

“What I’m saying is,” he chuckles and soothes a hand through your hair, “is that you shouldn’t compare yourself to people that have nothing to do with your daily life. Like, you wouldn’t compare yourself to a firefighter right? ‘Cuz thats their job, to save people, not yours. Similarly with models and shit, that’s their job to look good. You didn’t sign up to be a model, so you shouldn’t stress yourself to look like them. Plus, it’s not like it has any affect on what kind of person you are on the inside, you feel me? I’ve met some pretty nasty and rude people with killer bodies, but can you guess how much respect I had for them?”

You nod slowly, still not fully grasping his confusing logic but sort of getting the underlying meaning to it

“But it’s hard not to compare my body to theirs when you’re constantly around them.” You admit. “It feels like I’m not good enough either to be next to you when I’m just sitting on my ass, not doing anything” You grip his shirt and let the last of your tears out, accepting his soft and heavy hands stroking against your back and up and down your shoulders

“So? Do you ever see Sero or Denki modeling next to me? Or Mina and Jirou?”

He did have a point.

“No,” you say slowly.

“Exactly, because models and bodybuilders have a job to dedicate themselves to a life of working out. They do it because that’s what a majority of their life goes to get paid for. It’s all superficial, that’s not how the average person is, like the friends I mentioned. Otherwise the whole world would be full of people walking around with ripped abs and giant pecs. Could you imagine some lanky dude like Denki sporting a 12-pack and ripped pecs?”

“Hell no,” you laugh breathlessly, the image so horrifying to you both that you feel the vibrations of his boisterous laughter rumble through you and soothe your emotions.

“Now you’re getting it,” he speaks into your hair, the smell of your shampoo flooding his senses and getting him dizzy along with a treacherously rising boner

“Plus, what kind of man would I be if I picked my girl out just because of the way she looked? I mean, don’t get me wrong, you’re beautiful-no, beautiful can’t even begin to describe you. Your palms feel so soft compared to mine, your arms are so beautiful when my hands are wrapped around them, your thighs are just the right size, your stomach is such a comfy pillow for me to lay on, and don’t forget your plush, slick, tight pu-“ he rambles on and you can’t help but yelp and clap a hand over his overworked mouth as his shower of body positivity starts turning more lewd…attesting to the bulge you begin to feel pressing against your leg.

But it’s funny, you can’t seem to find yourself being mad at him as your face flushes and you see not ill-intent and perverseness in his warm eyes, but pure and honest devotion to you and to the words he truly means

It softens your heart, and you use a finger from the hand smushing against his mouth to lift and stroke the side of his cheek, conveying your gratitude to him.

It seems he understands, as he takes his forced moment of silence with patience and just looks at you, hoping this time you could really see what he felt for you.

“The thing is,” he says after a minute, gently taking your hand away and turning you around so that you both were facing the mirror, “I love you because of who you are. If I wanted to date some model, I would’ve done it by now, trust me,” and you swat your hand against his chest as he stifles a laugh and turns you to look at your own reflection in the mirror.

“I didn’t take you just for your body. I took you because of the way you smile, the way your laugh is so soft sometimes and then all roudy and crazy and loud the next. I love you because of how passionate you talk about the things you like, the way you deal with problems, the way you treat others. All these things make me want you, so damn bad.”

He lightly rocks his hips into your backside so you can really feel how much he wants you, and you let out a soft gasp

He doesn’t let you move, however, he just holds one wrist in his meaty palm and holds your jaw in the other, positioning you so that you meet his wondrous gaze in the clear reflection.

He knew he was never known to be the smartest in his class, having Bakugo drag him by the teeth to pass class itself, so he hoped you could overlook his lack of vocabulary that so desperately was trying to tell you that loving you went even beyond anything he could barely articulate.

Leaning towards your ear, his breath tickles your lobe as his sharp teeth graze over your goosebump-riddled flesh.

“And if it takes all night to show you how much you and your perfect body mean to me, I’ll gladly take out any words that don’t do the job and show you physically how I feel. And just the way you are, too.”

If there’s one man who could not give one less of a fuck about how dainty, small, feminine, or easy to handle you may or not be, it’s the birdman himself: Hawks

Running errands with him when he allowed it was hell, though it should’ve been a paradise you felt owed for.

It was bad enough that when you hesitantly asked him what would look good enough to wear when you walked next to him as the Number Two hero’s captive girlfriend, he merely shrugged and said “Whatever you want.”

Which was not of any help, due to his excessive mood swings and possessiveness spiking at the most seemingly harmless things, such as you talking to the checkout worker at a branded store, wearing a skirt that he deemed was for “sluts who put out for attention”, or even not looking directly at him enough when he was talking to you.

So just to play it safe, you decided to wear jeans and a cute blouse, one that you thought did well for your figure and yet remained modest enough for Keigo’s liking.

He gave you a warning look before opening the door outside, silently telling you to behave yourself in public

You always did, of course.

It was never enough to keep him less suspicious of you regardless.

Deciding to bag some groceries first, he kept a tight grip with your hand as you both inconspicuously tried to navigate the winding back alleys, avoiding people and waiting in intervals to pass the street

He had a black cap on with a red feather embroidered at the top, sunglasses and a beige and white jacket that had a high collar for covering his face-you might be lucky to have the freedom to wear what you wanted to a certain extent but Hawks wasn’t so lucky

His wings, of course, couldn’t be concealed regardless of what he wore

The two of you luckily manage to snag a few stores here and there, the groceries in both his and your arms weighing down on your bodies, his feathers doing little aid to help when his wings started sagging under the bulk as well

Which is where you both were finally caught by a gaggle of fangirls

You passed the cafe they gathered around outside, and barely had time to register their squints of suspicion at Hawks and his poorly-shrunken vermillion wings before you heard squeals of recognition coming from their group a couple feet back

He swore under his breath, crushing your hand in a death grip and attempting to speed up further away from them

But the Number Two hero wasnt fast enough for his own good, this time

It was almost inhuman how quickly they caught up to you and swarmed around, effectively cutting you two off from trying to escape

They shoved papers, phones, various body parts and markers in his face, trying to get him to sign each and every article they had on themselves

And poor you were caught in the midst of it, being carelessly jostled around as each girl tried to force her way closer to him

The volume of their excited devotion and praise of him was making your head hurt, and you wondered how Hawks was managing to put up such a flawless, easygoing smile and responding to all their questions and comments without having a panic attack or snapping at them

After a minute or two of pure chaos, with the help of numerous feathers the hero-now-victim finished most of the autographs.

“Well, girls, thank you so much for your support and time, but me and my lady should get going now-“

“-wait, that’s your girlfriend?” One asks pointing at you in disbelief

You give her a weak smile and little wave

“Yup, the one and only!” Hawks beams at you with pride, holding you in an endearing headlock

“Wow…you guys are so cute!” Another chimes in after a few moments of silence, and you try your hardest not to fall into your same old patterns, to not embrace your old thoughts and insecurities with such open arms

But old habits die hard, and they certainly aren’t dead yet

Especially when the first girl thrusts a shiny phone at you, fluttering her lashes and baring her teeth in a poor imitation of a smile. “Would you be a dear and take a picture of all of us with him?”

“Uhh, sure, yeah, no problem.” You decide that getting this whole ordeal over quicker would be the best option for you

But as quick as you want this to pass, you can’t help but take an extra second to see the difference in your hands and hers when you take the phone from her hand

While her smooth, small and soft hands are seemingly unmarked, her acrylics accentuating her feminine form, you feel as though your larger ones should hide in shame in comparison

You’re not a slob, not by any means when you go out with him. But what was previously just you feeling comfortable in your own skin of knuckle hair, cuticles here and there, and nails bitten short from the cold stand anxiety of living with such a volatile man starts to turn into a realization of how different you are to these people who are trimmed to perfection

You shake off the sinking feeling in your heart and back up with the phone as the rest of the girls and Keigo line up for posing

The details in the phone camera do nothing to ease your growing timidity

The screen reflects what you see right in front of you- smooth hair, not a frizzy strand in sight blowing with the wind, perfectly manicured hands that are so delicate and small compared to your boyfriends’ gripping his upper arms, desperate to feel the hero’s assets.

They’re all at a perfect height with him too, the heels and boots they wear so easily lining them up at his chest level so they have a perfect view of his pecs and upwards

All of them are so beautiful and uniform, so dainty and careful with themselves. If one of them said that they were dating Hawks, you’d believe that they were worthy of it too

You snap the picture and hand the device over, trying to hide your trembling bottom lip and frigid hands

The girls thank Hawks a plethora of times, give you some once-overs as well as slight sneers and faux waves, and you both head on your way back home again

You’re quiet that night while making dinner

It’s chicken pad thai, one of his favorite dishes handmade by you

No matter how shit you feel your cooking is, he insists you make him a 3 course meal while he takes a shower, leaving a feather behind to watch over you

Usually it’s fine, usually you ignore or absentmindedly swat away the plumage’s less-than-innocent rendezvous trailing around your body, floating behind your neck to tickle you, “accidentally “ falling in your shirt or wedging itself down your pants (no doubt commanded so by Hawks)

But today, it’s silent and still, precariously perched on the edge of the kitchen counter as it observed and picks up the various sounds and vibrations of your movement as you bustle around the kitchen

It picks up on the way you chop the onions a little too aggressively with your large, clumsy fucking hands

Another reminder of how different you are than the average Hawks Fangirl ™

How they sashay and swing their hips around in a perfect circle when approaching him, while you stumble and trip over your own damn feet, the epitome of clumsiness and gracelessness

The feet which never endow heels or boots often because of the height difference it gives you and Keigo, because of the way you try desperately to adorn different slouches and postures to not look so out of place and awkward around him

And while you’re stirring the pasta in its sauce, the feather also picks up on the rhythm of your shattered heart

Shattered so when you remember how the girls sneered at you because you weren’t femme fatale like them, how you just stood there like a fucking mannequin while they cooed well placed praise, and how eloquent sentences flowed from their tongue like honey

You could only wish you ever spoke like they did, or adopted any of their mannerisms that seemed so natural and effortless like them

Your aching heart thudded dully while you scrutinized your miserable self, and flared up into a kicking rate when you realized you shouldn’t even care what your captor or any of his fan girls thinks

In fact, this was all his fault.

You slammed your mixer down, tapping your fingers against the countertop deep on thought

The vibrations the feather picked up was the last straw of its patience, as it alerted its owner to come and address you

Mumbling under your breath at your predicament, you banged around pots and spoons in your anger, failing to notice the plumage silently join its approaching owner, the water from his shower dripping down his wet shoulders and hair

“What’s goin’ on chickadee? It sounds like you’re tryina’ tear down the kitchen.”

You barely spare him a glance over your shoulder as you take in his bare torso, only a towel wrapped around his midriff

“Nothing. Just finishing up dinner,” you mumble.

“It doesn’t sound like nothing. It sounds like your hearts racing a mile a minute. So I’ll ask you again- what are you so upset?”

He yanks a stirring spoon from your hand and uses his grand wings to turn you towards him, a condescending pout on his face as he amusedly takes in your furrowed eyebrows, heated up cheeks and shaking fists.

He wants to keep pushing me? Fine, then I can play his little game

“You wanna know why I’m upset? I’m upset because I’m here against my will, creating problems for myself that I never even wanted in the first place!”

You jab a finger into his chest and his eyes narrow at your impertinent tone.

“Now wait a sec’-“ but you cut him off immediately, nose to nose with him now as you continue to blare at him

“I’m upset because I never feel fucking good enough for my kidnapper. How pathetic is that? Any time I have to beg you on all fours like a fucking dog to go outside I end up regretting it, ‘cause all I see is how flawed I am!”

He’s staring at you with wide eyes now, actually bewildered at the turn your ranting came to. So it’s not just about being kept here against your will, you’re actually upset about not feeling good enough for him?

“Those girls today…they were so perfect and feminine and beautiful and they had such small fucking hands that would fit perfectly in yours like mine never do, and perfectly pedicured feet, and had such pretty voices, fuck, I mean I’d date them too if I were you!”

You ignore the rage and bafflement in his expression, he looks at you like you’re crazy and maybe for the moment you are as you keep mouthing off to him

“So why don’t you, huh? I mean I only go out with you a couple times a year, but you see them almost every day! Girls who have hair that flows like goddamn waterfalls, girls who you could pick up and throw around so easily or at least girls you’re not embarrassed of.”

“I’m clumsy, I can’t walk with grace, I’m not at a height that’s easy for you to look at me with or thats even considered sexy, I probably don’t even weigh anything around you that people would call worthy of being some fit bitch for you!”

At this, you sink to your knees in front of him, almost spent out. You can’t bear for him to see your face, no doubt scrunched up in tears and snot with mussed strands hovering around your face like you just got electrocuted.

Another thing to ridicule yourself about, a fucking crying face. You don’t want him to see another ugly trait about you that he no doubt will snicker about behind your back.

“Isn’t that why you never let me out? Because I’m not cute or good material for tabloids, right? I don’t look good enough or act right for the Number Two hero, and that’s why you’re embarrassed, right? It’s been so long since I tried to last leave so I know you trust me-that means the only reason you hate going out with me and covering yourself up is because you can’t stand to be seen with such a fugly-“

“That’s enough.” His cold voice booms louder than yours, and you startle at that.

“Look at me, Y/N.” The tone at which he speaks leaves no room for argument, but when you continue to look down he snarls and detaches a feather, forcing your head up with it.

“You keep calling yourself all these things, but don’t tell me that moronic is another word you’re gonna add on, right? I mean you can’t possibly be that stupid enough to believe all those things you just said.”

You glare at him, sure that this was just a way for him to get you to shut up.

“I thought living with the Number Two hero would let some intellect rub off on you, but I guess it’s the complete opposite, if anything. Because you seem to have forgotten your place in my house.”

You yelp when suddenly a multitude of other feathers zoom towards you, pulling at your limbs and clothes as they lift you into the air, suspended to a height a couple of feet above Hawks’ eye level.

He just stands there with an eerie smirk on his face as he watches you flail around midair, trying to regain your balance.

“It doesn’t matter if you’re 6’3 and have bigger hands than me.”

With a flick of his finger, the feathers are directed to slam your body into the ground, leaving you wheezing on your back.

“And it doesn’t matter if you’re 4’7 and fall over yourself every time I call for you.”

He stands above you now, hands in his pockets and he smiles down at your curled up body. You look at him cautiously, unsure of what he’s playing at.

“You’re mind because I want you. I want everything about you, your heart, your mannerisms, your soul, your movements-they all belong to me and only me.”

He crouches down to a kneel, gently running a hand through your hair before turning it into a fist and yanking your head up to face him.

“And there isn’t a goddamn thing that’s gonna stop me from having you, when I want, and how I want. You think you have a chance of leaving me, or me leaving you when I, in your words, ‘go out and see beautiful girls like that all the time?’ If I haven’t left you for them by now, I sure as hell never will.”

You decide for now to take the backhanded compliment about being able to leave in silence. In a messed up way, he was proving his loyalty, and right now you needed all the reassurance you could get.

“And why the hell do you care how you look in public anyways, huh? Are you trying to seduce someone?”

You frantically object, and he sneers at your desperation. “Good, because it should only matter what I think, and you wanna know what I think?”

You stare at him wide eyed now as he pulls your head closer to him

“I don’t give a flying fuck if you think you’re some foxy slut or if you feel like a clumsy oaf. Because you wanna know why?”

He starts unzipping his fly with a handy feather, and you mentally berate yourself for pushing him to a point where he has to ‘prove his love’ to you, knowing where this was heading.

“Because when you’re sucking my cock or lying underneath me, it doesn’t matter how tall or short you are. When I tell you to take your clothes off and hump my foot like the good little bitch in heat you are, I don’t care how much you weigh. I’m still choosing you to be my fuckmeat, my obedient play-toy when I want, and I’m doing it with all your ‘flaws’, aren’t I? ”

You cringe when his tongue flicks out against your earlobe and down your jaw, your endeavors of trying to shove him away proving fruitless as he just snarls and bites your neck.

“Even if you think you don’t have the prettiest, smallest, biggest, or smoothest hands, they’re still the hands I’m choosing to play with my balls, yeah? I mean, you should be proud of your fucking sexy and lewd body…look at what it does to me.”

He gestures to his exposed member now which is hard against your thigh. You bite back a whimper as he begins to tear open your shirt with one free hand as the other slips down your pants.

“So be a good girl and show me how proud you are of being mine.”

[cursestothemoon]

Hi Charly! Could you do a headcannon about Fred and his virgin girlfriend having sex for the first time? But she’s feeling self conscious because he’s more experienced and she’s worried about not being as good as his past partners not me projecting or anything 🙃

as a virgin who cant drive this request really resonates with me

welcome to the fred show pew pew

ill stop.

17+ IF YOU ARE TAGGED AND DON’T WANT TO BE TAGGED IN SMUT PLEASE LET ME KNOW

warnings:NSFW, vaginal penetration, loss of virginity, fingering

ok so

first i wanna get into fred before you came around

his sex life specifically

i think fred likes to have fun

nothing wrong with that

so yeah he's been around the block

a few times

so he knows what he's doing when it comes to sex

he takes pride in how good he is honestly

but i also think his first time wasn't all that

he probably lost his virginity rather young

14 maybe 15

the girl was 16 maybe 17

and he kind of pressured himself to lose his virginity after hearing his amazingly cool older brothers talking about 'this bird i shagged...'

it was bill

and fred loves bill

idolizes bill

so in his efforts to be just like him he had to lose his virginity

which he did

but he was beyond nervous and fidgety

he's almost certain the girl felt so bad she lied and said she finished when really he was in there for two minutes TOPS

but he got better over time

also he made sure that the person he was with finished first because he's still a little embarrassed abut that first time

george is the only person who knows about his first time, he didn't want anyone else to know

ESPECIALLY bill

anyway

so by the time you guys start dating fred is very experienced in the bedroom

you are not

you are a virgin

thats ok

😌

i feel like fred would just assume your not a virgin if you didn't tell him otherwise

because 1) you are drop dead gorgeous and could get it literally any time you wanted

and 2) he just assumes everyone does it unless told otherwise

you would be talking one day and somehow your first times would come up and fred would go beet red and admit how terrible it was for him

and then you'd kinda just 🙂

because you don't have a first time story

fred would not catch on at first

he would be very confused

then you'd go pink and come out with it

"...i'm a virgin, freddie."

he was honestly surprised

but once he noticed how genuinely uncomfortable you were admitting it, like it was something bad

he'd go into protective, comforting freddie mode

would go above and beyond to tell you that it wasn't a bad thing at ALL and he wishes he would've waited

and then he goes

"now that i know, i'm going to make sure your first time is amazing, love."

then he'd kinda just pause and go red again as he thought about what he said

"i mean, assuming you'd want your first time to be with me. totally cool if not, but i reckon that would be rather odd considering we are dating... unless you are breaking up with me...wait don't break up with me."

you'd just giggle and pull him into a kiss

"i want my first time to be with you, only you."

"i am so glad we are on the same page."

ok fred would go ALL OUT to make sure your first time was amazing

unforgettable

and you ARE finishing.

it would be over summer

you're staying at the burrow for the next month

and fred has it all planned out

you had told him you were ready a few weeks ago and he told you he wanted to surprise you for your first time

so you've just been waiting

he'd set up a cute little tent in the meadows of the burrow

string up some lights in the trees

plethora of blankets and pillows in said tent

wait i forgot their tents are like huge inside

aW WAIT IT WOULD BE LIKE A WHOLE CUTE LITTLE ROOM

STOP🥺

anyway

he'd have some food

some water

many condoms

he's so excited

oK so the sun would just be setting

and fred says he has something to show you outside

he also knows with a full house no one is going to come looking for you two, but just in case george knows the plan and is there for damage control just in case

so you go out with fred and hes practically skipping and hes all giggly

and you are starting to feel his giddiness so you guys are just this giggly mess together

then he gets to the spot

the sex tent

and it's beautiful

you are blown away

and he is just so happy seeing you happy

so you guys eat a little

talk

have some fun

he will feed you food to be romantic

you will get a grape dropped down your shirt

fun times all around

and then your eyes kinda lock

and his are all crinkly from laughing

his freckles just a bit more prominent in the summer season

you are suddenly hit with this intense feeling of love

how much you are in love with him

how much he's in love with you

and you're sure you've never been more ready than you are right now

fred is feeling floaty

you are looking at him with this look in your

and it makes him feel all warm and fuzzy

he'd reach out to cup your cheek, his thumb gently running across your cheek bone

then he'd pull you closer and rest his forehead against yours

your nose would brush and he'd run the tip of his nose along your nose before placing a kiss on it 🥺

you push forward and capture his lips in a kiss

and its on.

he pulls you into his lap

you guys are in heavy a make out

his hands are on your ass

your hands are in his hair

then he pushes you closer with his hands on your butt

the feeling of his hardening cock in his trousers against your clothed clit has you shuddering because jesus christ almighty

you've never felt anything like that before

you whimper into his mouth and fred is sure he's died and gone to heaven

so he does it again

after a few more times youre moving your hips on your own accord

you'd never admit to him that you'd fantasized about this very moment

in this very position

but instead of him it was a pillow you were grinding against

anyway

you guys moved to the bed in the tent

fred pulls away and he's holding your face in his hands so gently and looking at you with so much love

"I need to know that you are completely certain that you want this. I need you to be absolutely sure, love."

"I want this. I want you."

there was no hesitation in your voice

so he'd slowly take off both your clothes making sure that at any given moment he's got more off then you to make sure you never feel uncomfortable or embarrassed

so like if you've got your shirt off, fred has his off two and is working on his pants THEN he'd move your pants

now you are in your bra and underwear

he's in his briefs

and he can't help but take you all in

your skin

your curves

each dip and line

everything about you is just so beautiful

and he's just barely touching you as he's dragging the back of his fingers down from your neck to your belly button just watching as your skin erupts in goosebumps

he's never seen anything so beautiful

i think it was in that moment that he knew, no matter what, he would always be in love with you

all of you

he looks for your approval before reaching behind you and unhooking your bra

when your bra comes off thats when you get the butterflies in your belly

and lets be honest

on the inside

fred's a mess

like he might get choked up

regardless

the tiddies are out

fred leans down and starts to place slow, loving, kisses across the skin of your chest and in the crook of your neck before trailing them down to your breasts

you let out a shaky breath as he takes your pebbled nipple into his mouth

his hand moving to tease the other one

he's sucking and licking the sensitive nub making you breathless

then he'd drag his tongue down to your belly button then just below it before sucking a hickey onto your hip

he'd KISS IT AFTERWARDS TOO 🥺

he'd look up at you silently asking if you were ok and if he could remove your panties

you nod

youre nervous and excited and just ready

so he pulls off your underwear

and suddenly you feel very naked

but you also feel more comfortable than you ever thought you would

because it's fred

and he's your best friend

and he's just so

comforting

and you'd trust him with your life

so its a positive experience

his brings his thumb to rub gently circles on your clit before running two fingers up your slit to collect your juices

you let out a breathy moan as he slides a single digit into your entrance

his head is resting on your thigh placing sweet kisses on the skin as he adds in a second finger

his other arm is hooked around the thigh that his head is resting against, with his hand falling just close enough to your cunt that he can rub slowly, tight circles on your clit

you cum pretty quickly from fred's intense, intimate fingering

and he makes sure to make a show of putting his fingers in his mouth moaning at the taste of your release

he moves up to your lips, pulling you into a kiss

and you can taste yourself on his tongue

and there is something so erotic about it

that has your pussy clenching

ok so he pulls off his boxers and you audibly gulp

he's

l a r g e

and he notices your apprehension

he doesn't want to lie and say its not going to hurt

because in all honesty it might hurt

fred presses a calming kiss to your forehead as he lines himself up with your entrance

"im going to go slow, alright. if at you want me to stop tell me, ok, bunny?"

"ok, i might be bad at this."

"never"

aND HE'D SAY IT WITH SUCH A SWEET SMILE AND THIS LOVING TONE

BECAUSE YOU COULD NEVER BE BAD AT ANYTHING EVER IN FRED'S EYES

ESPECIALLY THIS

BECAUSE HE THINKS YOU ARE LITERALLY PERFECT

AND HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH

anyway

it does hurt a bit

its uncomfortable

you do get a little teary because of the dull burn of the stretch

and fred's heart aches seeing the way your face screws up in discomfort

but after a few minutes

and a few kisses from fred

youre ready for him to start moving

he starts off slow

the pain is starting to dissipate

and it begins to feel really good

like really good

i forgot to mention it earlier but fred IS wearing a condom

back to the story

so pretty soon you guys are enjoying yourselves

fred is kissing on your neck and lips

youre tugging on his hair and letting out breathy moans and whimpers into his ear

you cum a second time before fred spills into the condom

he slowly pulls out

and the feeling of emptiness after he does so is your new least favorite feeling

you are just craving to be near him, to be impossibly close

he pulls you into his side and starts peppering kisses along your hairline

and his fingers are running up and down your back

and hes just holding you so tight

stop🥺

"i love you, bug."

"love y'too, freddie."

your slurred words made it lear to him that you were starting to fall asleep

you guys would have to wake up super early the next morning and sneak back into the house

and you'd both be super giggly and cuddly and just hanging off each other

fred wouldn't want to let you go and would pull you back into him every time you tried to leave and go into ginny's room (where you were staying)

aW then for the next few days you guys just cant keep your hands off each other

and you both are so in love

sHUT UP I LOVE FRED WEASLEY

tags:

@siriusement

@amourtentiaa

@lifeofkaze

@theorangedrummer

@erinruby003

@famdomhideout

@an2402lths

@escapingrealitybyreading

@readyg0erge

@maybesandohnos

@therealhouseelvesofhogwarts

@onlyfreds