#there's an intentional signal of a gay character in a harsh world = someone willing to make dangerous choices for the sake of

[liketheinferno2]

God Dion Lesage all time great I keep circling this guy in my brain. I think a lot of why this character inspires that level of awe and empathy and respect is like... he's got the answers Clive couldn't get himself. Being told exactly how and why he's inadequate byhis mother but then there's Dion who is blessed and strong and powerful and everything he was supposed to be, perfect replacement son and she still hates him. It was always deep down this deranged eugenicist logic so even with all her stated standards met he's like a stain on the floor to her.

And Clive's tragedy is like... blindsinded by betrayal, essentially still a child at that point, forced into a situation he had no control over but would still agonise over the rest of his life. Dion's tragedy is choosing to put himself through the same kind of shame and horror because he knows the alternative would be even worse. It's hard not to empathise with him in the same way even though you know he decides to do this because you've come into this already knowing that inaction or lack of control doesn't make you blame yourself any less. Like the whole ethos of this story is that life without the ability to make choices or express your own free will is itself torture.

Always really bad at closing these posts but I just think foiling the agony of living with a tragedy you had no control over with the agony of choosing to fight back in a way you know will irrevocably change your life for the worse because then at least you have some control over how it changes is REALLY REALLY REALLY GOOD

[wikipediapersonallife]

So I googled femme at 5am just for fun and this came up. Yes, I know it was published in 2016. I clicked on it because it’s Autostraddle and I thought it would be bad but entertaining. There are some good parts though!! I just wanted to share my thoughts.

NOTE: This is not a post making an argument about who can use the word femme. I am more concerned with the contexts in which femme is being used, and the harmful language that often surrounds it.

Quotes

Rudy:

“Femme is connected to emotional labor and healing. . .It’s allowing a particular kind of tenderness to be part of your identity. . .Having something based on just aesthetics is really dangerous because it removes the politics from things. . .

[Other people] think that if you’re not a lesbian or bisexual woman and you’re calling yourself femme, you’re contributing to an erasure or appropriation of the history of lesbian and bisexual women. These people are talking in a really binary way. In my observation, it seems to be a generational thing. But the people who are most affected by these opinions are trans women or transfeminine people, and I feel like if trans women and transfeminine people are telling you that you’re doing something fucked up, cis women should listen to that.”

First, from what I’ve seen, many of the critiques that lesbians and other wlw have are already about not using femme as an aesthetic term. Secondly, the idea that being femme is synonymous with being forced into more emotional labor doesn’t sit right with me. (We have this same thread every week, comrade.) And butches can absolutely be tender. The other paragraph is well-intentioned, but erases lesbian and bisexual trans women, which was discussed a bit in the comment section.

Aja:

“I’ve finally come to sort of queasily embrace myself as high femme, or at least high x hard femme, but I have a really hard time committing to any single aesthetic. I don’t get dressed to tick off boxes or be sorted into a category. . .The “hard” part comes, I suppose, from being a strident feminist with high standards for longer than I’ve been a queer. . .Thank god for Resting Bitch Face and tattoos, the latter of which can help somewhat in artfully signaling being both femme and feminist. . .

On the idea that an older generation of people think only women should claim the word femme: I’m 36 years old and I find that kind of restriction on “femme” to be abhorrent and willfully cruel. No femme friends of mine — and I’m lucky that they are numerous — believe anything like that, and many of them are my age and older still. If they did, I’d dump them on the spot! The “erasure of lesbian history” narrative is weak and fearful, that’s all.”  

The first paragraph is really negative about the expectations of being femme, and implies that being a femme and a feminist are mutually exclusive. The second paragraph made my jaw drop because it’s just so flippant and hurtful to lesbians.

Mey:

“My version of femme is Bruja Femme, but this summer I’m also moving toward Pop Witch Femme, as inspired by True Gay Icon Carly Rae Jepsen. It looks like dark red lipstick and winged eyeliner without caring about any other makeup. It looks like stars and outer space and Our Lady de Guadalupe. It feels like connecting with the long line of Mexican women and witches that I come from and want to be more like. I definitely think that for me, my femme-ness is tied a lot to my emotions. I use it to find myself and center my mind and my heart and, in a way, be my truest version of myself. If I’m not being a femme, I’m hiding more than just my fashion or my attitude or my personality, I’m hiding my essence.

My femme roots include a lot of other trans women of color. When I was first coming out on the internet, I made a lot of twoc friends and they really helped me figure out who I wanted to be and who I am and how I wanted to be that person. I’m absolutely going to cite Luna Merbruja as one of my main roots. And this is like, totally cliche, but Paris Is Burning really opened my eyes to a whole new world of femme possibilities. Also, and I know this is nerdy, but a lot of comic book characters like Batgirl, Catwoman, Zatanna and Storm, who really showed me that being femme can also be super powerful. Oh, and definitely Ronnie Spector and Ariel from The Little Mermaid.

As far as femme visibility goes, I definitely think about how the queer femme look is more visible in mainstream media. I feel like for me, Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Boy Problems” video is the peak of this in a lot of ways. Everything in that video looks so fucking queer, but it’s hard to tell how many of the people in it actually are queer. I think part of that comes from the way younger people are identifying, with studies showing that the younger you go, higher and higher percentages of people ID as not straight and/or not cis. I think it’s cool, and hopefully that’s a good thing for the future of femmes.”

I actually really liked Mey’s thoughts, but some of her terminology irked me, such as “femme visibility” and using “queer” in place of “LGBT.”

Bryn:

“When I use the word femme to describe myself, I’m trying to reclaim a way of living that isn’t defined by my assigned gender, but by my experience of femininity. I have always thought of femme as intentionally living as a feminine person. Taking ownership of my existence as a femme is more than the way it looks, it’s a revolutionary act in itself. As a non-binary femme, I am received as threatening, harsh and edgy in spaces that claim to be inclusive of femme people from any background. Claiming femme puts me in an unsafe position, and it makes people like me have to choose to change nothing or everything about ourselves in this world. Being femme is a process of unlearning the reasons to hold my tongue while being faced with the risk of speaking up.

Being a feminine person requires maintaining a constant internal dialogue about how to keep yourself safe. We’ve all been taught to slight ourselves for the sake of bending to the gender binary’s shape and power dynamic. Learning to value myself as a feminine person is an everyday task for me. But it also feels powerful, because there is something about asserting myself as a femme in a world that is hostile and dismissive of me. It allows me to understand the value that is inherent in my own experience of femme and femininity.

In my experience, many cis women of all ages feel that my identity as a non-binary femme somehow invalidates theirs. Lots of people like to consider themselves radical without actually being able to make any space for people coming from a different place. My experience of femininity is linked to empathy and understanding that to be feminine is to be less safe in this world, so I understand the need to have spaces that are exclusionary out of respect for our right to protect and value ourselves. But there is a large community of feminists who are misleading in terms of how inclusive they’re actually willing to be.

My femme roots include Erykah Badu, Anohni, Syd tha Kyd, Agnes Martin, Diana Ross, Wendy Carlos, Chaka Kahn, Bjork, Sophie Campbell, Tujiko Noriko, and Kate Bornstein.”

Presented mostly without comment, but I am worried about the implications of stating that women are oppressed for being feminine, because butch women also face misogyny. It’s a little unclear to me what Bryn meant by that part. I feel like there’s probably some nuance that was missed because of space constraints.

Erin:

“I don’t associate femme with emotional labor at all, and actually, I don’t really associate femme with tenderness! I equate Femme with being able to ruin someone’s life IN A GOOD WAY if you wanted to, this bubbling-just-beneath-the-surface strength. Not that strength and tenderness are mutually exclusive, but maybe it’s that their approach feels different.

On the idea that an older generation of people think only women should claim the word femme: I’m afraid I don’t even get that argument, possibly because I’m not super smart but also possibly because that argument is bananas? Cis men are described as “butch,” so does that invalidate an entire self-identified group within lesbian history? No? They get to keep that one? It’s almost like the femme identity… is invisible. Sorry. No, kidding, but I think femme has always been relevant. I don’t think we’re reinventing or reclaiming the word, I just think it’s not been seen.”

This first paragraph differs from a lot of the other writers about emotional labor, but the “ruining someone’s life” part gives me pause. The second paragraph here seems dangerously close to the territory of claiming “femmephobia,” and the etymological argument regarding butch makes no sense at all.

YAT/TA:

“Femme labor is silently sewing your mouth shut, as you lift your lover’s ego high enough that you can both float away to the planet that you’ve been building together… all the while praying that your held breath and your heavy heart can stand to hold the both of you. Femme means that you’ve got some sensitivity that doubles as strength and you are down to aestheticize it, commune over it, or fucking fuck about it.”

That first part made me so uncomfortable. I kind of understand the second fragment, but I immediately thought of the “radical softness as a weapon” post.

Cecelia:

“This is why magic and other healing practices are so necessary to how I identify as femme. I use witchy things to care for myself and show other people that I care for them. Reading someone’s tarot is a way to remind them (and myself) that vulnerability is a measure of growth and strength. Lighting a candle and saying a spell for another femme is a strategy that reminds me how important it is to comfort and protect each other.”

This just seems to be presented in a way that demonstrates being femme and being a witch as inherently paired concepts, which I don’t understand.

Alaina:

“[My femme is] baking cakes for people I love from scratch in a kitchen I cleaned myself. . .

If my femme identity were tied to any kind of emotional labor it would be nurturing. All of my femme role models have been mothers, aunties, grandmothers, and other caregivers who had hardened calloused hands from working so hard, but could and would still stroke your back with all the gentleness in the world if you were hurting. When I think about being femme, it’s tied to taking care of my community. It’s tied to holding folks in the light and uplifting my community with love and care.

Femme invisibility is still very real, and extremely difficult to navigate. And I do think that a lot of it has to do less so with any sort of purposeful femme erasure in queer communities (although that is extremely prevalent), and much more to do with the fact that it’s an identity being co-opted by folks who aren’t queer.”

The labor aspects sound slightly less positive than I think Alaina wants them to come across to the readers. Also, where is this extreme prevalence of femme invisibility in the LGBT community that everyone keeps mentioning?

Other observations

Hegemonic use of “queer” throughout the piece - it’s still very much a slur that not everyone is comfortable with, so if I was writing this, I would’ve substituted “LGBT” at least half the time

The number of contributors who referenced witchcraft as part of their femme identity (tally: 3/8); especially because there was no mention of other forms of spirituality -- which is intriguing because so much of the documentation of butch/femme aspects of lesbian history has been recorded and researched by Jewish lesbians (such as Joan Nestle, Leslie Feinberg, and Lillian Faderman); I realize a joint post like this is self-selecting, though

Originally I wanted to talk about the comment section too, but this is getting too long. Maybe I’ll make a Part 2 to this post later.

[exosmutxoxo]

Gravel To Tempo - A LGBT+ Fic 🌙

A/N: Hello everyone! This is going to be a long post because it consists of multiple gifs + character explanation + the actual fic! To give you all a heads-up, it is based entirely on the ‘Gravel to Tempo’ MV by Hayley Kiyoko so you have to actually watch it before you read this to have a clearer insight of the characters in this story! I wrote this in support of all members of the LGBT+ community out there so I hope this story will inspire all of you to embrace who you are and love yourselves!

Featuring: Tao, Sehun, Kyungsoo, Baekhyun, Yixing, Kris, Kai

Warnings: References to LGBT+ community, so if you’re a homophobe, don’t even come near this because I will NOT be accepting any form of hate!

Genre: ….gay? HAHA

Requested: No

Summary: Tao learns to embrace his sexuality and is intent on letting everyone know that he is proud of who he is.

Word Count: 2709

*Side Note: Scroll past all the gifs if you want to skip to the story! ;)

CHARACTER ANALYSIS

Tao as Hayley Kiyoko

Reason : Tao seems bisexual to me, plus he’s super sassy just like Hayley so why not? ;)

Sehun as ‘Headphones Girl’

Reason: Sehun is definitely gay for Tao and the type to be biting his lip and all just like ‘Headphones Girl’ when he sees someone hot. We all know Sehun is a hoe for attention lmao

Baekhyun as ‘Gum Girl’

Reason: Baekhyun seems to be into boys too, just like how ‘Gum Girl’ was into Hayley in ‘Gravel to Tempo’. #teambisexual

Yixing as ‘Girl with French Braids’

Reason: The girl with French braids seemed pretty lost in ‘Gravel to Tempo’, just like how Yixing is with Exo, so it really suits XD

Kyungsoo as ‘Bun Girl’

Reason: No mystery here. Kyungsoo has the resting bitch face just like ‘Bun Girl’. Done with everyone’s shit and permanently mean-looking.

Kris as ‘Alessia Cara Lookalike’

Reason: Kris is just ready to go home, just like the ‘Alessia Cara lookalike’ girl. He wants nothing to do with anybody, he just wants to graduate lmao

Everyone in SM High knows about Tao. To his acquaintances, friends and teachers, he’s a bright and friendly young man who aces every class he takes and is always willing to lend a helping hand to those in need. He’s smart, cheerful and has jaw-droppingly stunning fashion sense and to the outside world, it seems like he’s one of those rare teenagers with a perfect life. No problems, no worries about failing tests, no worries about eating lunch alone and looking like a complete loser since he has a handful of closely-knitted, loyal friends.

But life is never a bed of roses and Tao’s life definitely has its thorns here and there. For starters, nobody knows that he’s struggling with his own sexuality. Sure, he’s gained a few raised eyebrows whenever he walks past the popular groups in school due to his unusual ‘not so manly and way too many accessories’ fashion sense but nobody actually says anything about that. Which brings us to his next problem: popular people.

After a couple of years in high school, certain popular people have definitely snuffed out the fact that Tao might not be the straightest ruler in the drawer. For instance, Oh Sehun and his little crew.

Oh Sehun is part of the most popular group amongst the seniors but that isn’t to say that he’s as mean as most of them. In fact, he’s always been really nice, even to Tao. Which may or may not be why Tao has sort of fallen for him. But anyway, that is only a fraction of the problem.

It seems like Sehun’s friends have somehow sussed out Tao’s fancy for their group member and have taken to making plenty of snide remarks behind his back whenever he makes his way past them in the hallways. Okay, well, it’s mostly Kyungsoo and Kris who are the ringleaders of the group while the other three boys linger in the background silently.

Nevertheless, the remarks still hurt but it’s not like there’s anything Tao can do about it. He’d rather live in the shadows and get called a ‘fag’ than actually come out of the closet and admit to the world that he has a mad crush on Sehun.

However, that mindset didn’t last forever. One day, it just clicked in Tao’s mind that he’s sick and tired of being called a ‘fag’ and the harsh words thrown in his vague direction. Deep down, he knows that he’s not gay. He’s bisexual. And no matter what people may say about bisexuals, that they are just ‘confused’ or ‘half gay, half straight freaks’ or ‘just plain selfish people who want the best of both worlds’, Tao knows at the back of his mind that he isn’t defined by the opinions of others.

He is bisexual, he has a huge crush on Oh Sehun and he is going to be proud of it. He is going to own his sexuality like nobody else and walk with his head high the next time he steps on school grounds. It’s going to be hard to piece his shattered confidence back bit by bit but it’s not impossible; starting from tomorrow, he’s going to show the world that he’s proud of who he is.

The gravel crunches beneath Tao’s sneakers as he weaves his way through the parking lot and up the stairs to the front doors of the school building, backpack slung coolly over one shoulder with his headphones on, the tempo of his favourite song ‘Gravel to Tempo’ blasting in his ears. It gives him the little burst of confidence he needs. Making his way down the hallway to his locker, he shoots a grin at his best friend Kai, whose locker is right next to his.

Kai slaps him on the back chummily. “Wish I could stay and talk, mate, but I have a test during third period and I need to do some last-minute cramming. As usual”.

Tao laughs lightly. “All the best. I’ll see you at our usual table for lunch”.

“See you!” With that, Kai pivots on his heel and takes off at a jog down the corridor with his books tucked under one arm and his backpack slung over his shoulder. Tao stares after his best friend’s disappearing back for an absentminded moment before blinking rapidly as the bell rings out shrilly throughout the entire building, signalling the start of classes.

Students push and shove their way up the stairs, chattering animatedly and frantically flipping through their notebooks and cheat sheets for their tests and exams. The hallway is soon devoid of people, with the exception of Tao himself and the small group of boys gathered at the other end of the row of lockers.

There are five of them and they are all indulged in conversation with Sehun right smack in the middle of all of them. For a while, Tao lingers by his locker as he drinks in their distinct faces from afar, his confidence wavering slightly.

There is Kyungsoo with his resting bitch face, leaning against one locker and nodding along to whatever the other boys are chattering about.

Then comes Kris, the tallest amongst the others and also the one who either looks utterly lost or completely done with everything around him. Either way, Tao doesn’t really like him.

Standing next to Kris is Yixing. Yixing doesn’t say much, from what Tao observes but all in all, he gives off an angelic vibe and he’s always been nice to everyone, despite the mean remarks his friends make behind people’s backs. Or maybe he’s just confused 24/7.

Baekhyun stands next to Yixing, the loudest amongst all of them as he chatters away animatedly, his hands flailing about dramatically. He’s known to be permanently chewing on gum, his trademark. Perhaps he has this misconception that it makes him look cool but to Tao, he just looks like he’s attempting to dislocate his jaw with all that excessive chewing for the past four years of high school.

Finally, Tao’s gaze rests on the man of his dreams: Oh Sehun.

Sehun is right smack in the middle of the boys, giggling prettily to whatever Baekhyun is nattering on about. He has headphones hooked around his neck, similar to the one Tao has on. Other than that, Sehun is the perfect epitome of male beauty, with his crisp white button-down shirt and blue jeans, his beautifully-crafted features scrunched up in laughter. If Tao didn’t believe in love at first sight, he definitely believes in it now.

Removing his headphones and stuffing them in his locker, Tao takes a deep breath for confidence and shuts the locker door, the tempo of his favourite song still ringing in his ears. Without hesitation, he shoves his hands in his pockets and casually ambles up to the group of boys at the other end of the corridor, squaring his shoulders as he does so. The boys notice this, the chatter falling silent with an air of hostility as they eye Tao approaching them.

“Morning”, Tao greets brightly. “If you gentlemen don’t mind, could all five of you stand in a line for me?”

He is answered by more hostile silence, with the exception of Baekhyun’s chomping of his gum. The iron-heavy glare of Kyungsoo almost causes his knees to start knocking together but thankfully, Sehun makes a move to stand in the middle of the corridor obediently, casting glances at his friends expectantly.

With a sigh, Kyungsoo moves to stand next to Tao’s crush, followed by the other boys who silently form a line across the corridor. Soon, all five of them are positioned in front of Tao, Kyungsoo’s arms folded tightly. “You know, if you have something to say-”

Tao doesn’t even give the boy a chance to finish his sentence before he breaks into the dance he’d choreographed perfectly in his mind, his arms flying out swiftly as he moves his body to the tempo echoing in his ears. He indulges himself in the moment, twirling around artistically and coming right up in Kyungsoo’s face, the other male’s expression a mixture of confusion and horror as Tao turns around and gives his own ass a little shake, holding up his arms cheerily.

His body moves like fluid, his limbs gracefully following the steps in his mind. Throughout his little dance, he is instantly reminded of the gravel crunching beneath his feet as he walked up to the school building this morning. The gravel eventually morphed into the tempo coursing through his veins as he displays his true bisexual side to the boys who’ve been bullying him for it for the past few years.

And in that moment, Tao has never felt more alive. After supressing his sexuality for so long, it feels like a drug to finally reveal his true colours. So he dances to the beat of his own drum, not even noticing the various expression on each of the boys’ faces.

Yixing looks mildly fascinated, eyebrows raised in silent judgement. Baekhyun merrily continues chomping on his gum, lips quirked up in amusement. Disgust plays on Kyungsoo’s feature, while Kris just looks like he’s lost in a cloud of confusion and bemusement. And as for Sehun, a full-blown grin almost stretches his pretty features in half as he observes Tao’s little show, obviously impressed.

Tao doesn’t care about any of them. With his eyes closed, he twirls over to the row of lockers, dramatically leaning against them and collapsing to his knees with his arms raised. Then, opening his eyes once again and shooting a quick glance at his audience, he bares a grin and gets to his feet, giving a cheery wave. “See you at lunch, boys”. With that, he blows a kiss and gathers up his belongings and rushes off to his first class, pride coursing through his veins.

Tao can hear Kai chattering in his ear but he is unable to comprehend what he’s saying. The two of them are in the cafeteria and having lunch but Tao’s focus is entirely on the group of boys seated at the long table at the other side of the room. Sehun is seated right in the centre of all of them this time, headphones still slung around his neck as he indulges in conversation with his friends.

“…so I think I flunked that psychology test and now I’m doomed. Tao? Tao, what do you think?”

Tao blinks at Kai blankly, not even hearing what his best friend is saying. “Kai”, he blurts out, “what would you say if I told you I’m bisexual?”

Now it’s Kai turn to gaze at him blankly, his dark eyes flooding with genuine understanding that only best friends have. “I would say that I’m so fucking proud of you for having the courage to tell me”, Kai says earnestly, the corners of his lips curling up into a smile. “Also, if you have somebody you like, stop wasting time and go and get them!”

“Wait, how’d you know that I like someone?” Tao stutters, gazing at Kai’s knowing grin dumbfoundedly.

Kai rolls his eyes. “Even an idiot can tell that you have the hots for Oh Sehun. I mean, who doesn’t? The guy is bomb!”

Tao stands up so abruptly that his chair almost topples over, grabbing at Kai’s shoulders roughly. “Man, you’re right”, Tao exclaims. “What the fuck am I doing, wasting my time and ogling men from afar? I should be stepping up my game by now!” Without waiting for Kai to stutter out a response, Tao takes off across the cafeteria, the familiar tempo already bleeding through every ounce of him.

His body automatically moves to the rhythm in his mind, hips shaking as he takes graceful steps to Sehun’s table. Passer-bys cast strange glances at him but he couldn’t give a shit. All that’s on his mind is Sehun. On my way to steal your man.

The hurtful words people have tossed at him for the past few years start to play in his mind like a nightmarish slideshow, but that doesn’t deter him. Instead, they spur him on even more, prompting him to a multitude of twirls and skilful spins across the cafeteria.

For years, he’s been afraid of showing the world that he doesn’t fit in society like the rest of them. He’s been petrified of being viewed as a ‘queer freak’, petrified of the heartache that comes with revealing his sexuality. The depression that bogged him down whenever he was teased and laughed at was terrible, a hell of a ride to endure. But now, as he waltzes his way to Sehun, he realizes he wasn’t depressed; he just needed to cry. He just needed to get it out of his system, to be proud of who he actually is instead of shying away from it.

He’ll do this his way, he’s got to be on his own. He started his discovery of his sexuality alone and he’ll finish it off alone, with only himself to carry him through this ride. So, losing himself in the moment, he mentally burns all the bad memories of the mean laughter and queer jokes and lets himself go.

He is bisexual and he is fucking proud of it.

With that thought, Tao leaps onto the table of the popular boys who made his life hell for the past four years and dances the gay out of him, showing everyone exactly who he is. The five boys stare up at him, mouths hanging open as he displays his performance on their table in full view of everyone in the cafeteria.

Getting on his hands and knees, Tao crawls across the length of the table dramatically, eyes closed as he wriggles his ass in the air. Then he reopens his eyes, staring each and every one of the boys right in the eye as he flails his arms in the air wildly, rocking to the tempo in his heart.

“What the fuck-” Kyungsoo protests indignantly but he’s shushed by Tao who places a finger against the other male’s lips, winking at him as he does so. Kyungsoo leans back in his chair, a scandalized look on his face. Tao then proceeds to run his fingers through Kris’ chestnut-brown hair, much to the other male’s bemusement.

At the other end of the table, Sehun and Baekhyun lean forward eagerly while Yixing enjoys the show from his end, eyes wide with awe. Turning his attention to Yixing, Tao blows him a kiss while shaking his hips, then tugs Sehun forward by his headphones, much to his delight.

Sehun stares up at him, lower lip in between his teeth seductively as a fizzle of something crackles between them. “Holy shit”, Sehun whispers, and Tao shoves him back in his chair playfully, releasing his grip on his headphones.

Whipping his head back and forth, Tao reaches for the gum Baekhyun’s holding in between his thumb and forefinger and snatches it, popping it into his mouth without breaking eye contact with the other male. Baekhyun eyes him, impressed with him for actually having the courage to steal his gum.

Chomping on the gum, Tao blows a perfect bubble and pops it skilfully, crawling across the table and twinkling his fingers at all five boys as he slides off, ambling across the cafeteria confidently without a backward glance. Stares rest on him but he doesn’t notice, turning back to throw up a peace sign at the five boys.

“Bisexual and proud!” He yells. Then he waltzes out of the cafeteria happily, accompanied by raucous cheering and clapping, mostly from his best friend Kai.

Back at the table, the five boys stare after Tao, various expressions on each of their faces. Yixing chuckles with amusement, Baekhyun lets out a loud whoop, Kyungsoo has a sneer on his face while Kris just sighs with defeat, wondering if it’s possible for graduation day to approach faster so that he can get out of this hellhole and away from this nonsense.

And as for Sehun, he remains silent with his lower lip in between his teeth, grinning to himself as he stares after Tao, the boy he’s been in love with for the past few years.