#there's also the episode where he tells Puppet he considered everyone in this dimension to be his friends

[the-violet-galaxy]

The simulation of Nexus: "You just tried to kill the people that you lied to for months, saying you were their family!"

Ruin: Oh... You were my family, I can admit that...

Me: Just rip out my heart, why don't you,,,

[safflowerseason]

succession 3.05

and so the company stays in Roy hands (for now)...

- I know very little about how billionaire finances work, except that their “money” is largely just in stocks (which is what Roman tells Kendall when he started this whole takeover battle in the S1 finale). I’m sure even if they lost control of the company, the Roys would still have more money than they know what to do with, but it still seems *wild* to me that they were willing to risk such a significant financial loss on someone else’s terms, not theirs. (then again, this show is about how the brains of billionaires are actually broken, so.)

- Greg and the blonde PR head seem to be enjoying an exquisitely awkward flirtation. 

- Greg gets some egg on his face in this episode, as his desire to stick close to Team Waystar, Team Kendall, and Team Ewan all at the same time neatly blows up in his face. tbh, it was very satisfying to see Uncle Ewan telling Greg to stop being such a dilettante and just fucking do something. I’m ready to see Greg without a safety net and take an actual side. His handover of the cruise documents to Kendall last season was partly motivated by Tom’s disastrous congressional testimony, which opened him up to investigation. What will Greg do the next time he feels as threatened and exposed? (other than suing Greenpeace, of course). 

- Shiv would make a very, very good diplomat. Also her delivery of “I no longer wish to receive these calls” to Kendall destroyed me. 

- Stewey, as usual, comes in with some of the best lines of the episode, calling Sandy “the angriest fucking vegetable” and a “belligerent zucchini.” (I got the sense he was ready for the takeover battle to be over and done with.)

- This episode reminded me the most of Veep out of all the Succession episodes so far (I don’t know why there aren’t more articles about the similarities between Veep and Succession, which are very evident, but I guess everyone thinks of Veep as a David Mandel show now, alas). The scene where everyone realizes Logan is mentally incapacitated *right* at the moment they need him to sign off a make-or-break deal is classic Veep. (I was especially reminded of one of the all-time great episodes, S2E09 Running, as well as the S4 premiere, with the teleprompter fuck-up for Selina’s first address to Congress as president). 

- another Veep similarity: the sitting president declining to seek a second term for personal health reasons (in this case, because his cognitive health is under attack; on Veep it was the first lady’s mental health). (although I think it’s a bit implausible that it only took four days of bad news coverage from ATN for the president to decide it’s not worth running for reelection.)

- “I guess it’s nice to know that we can puppet master the whole American republic project...” Roman actually managed to have a whole conversation with the president! And he’s the only sibling his dad currently still likes at the moment! Not a bad episode for Roman. (you could write an essay, and I’m sure people are, on the nature of his devotion to his father in the context of Logan’s abuse.) 

- on a related note, it seems that the the political dimensions of the show, which have always functioned in the background, may be heating up a little, and Conor’s presidential ambitions could be coming into the foreground again. I have feelings about this, but I will reserve judgment until I see what happens next week! (very interested to see how this does or doesn’t affect Shiv, considering her previous career).

- Tom’s gentleness with Logan was rather touching. And we also learned that Shiv and Tom have discussed kids in the past, although I suspect it was less of a conversation and more just Shiv telling Tom she wasn’t sure of the timeline as a way to shut down further discussion. Also, Tom, don’t track your wife’s menstrual cycle. That’s fucking weird. 

- Oh Kendall. Calling himself “the puppetmaster” all episode only to realize he’s not puppet-ing anything. Also his version of being a “puppet-master” is nothing more than going around and yelling senselessly at other people. By going after his dad via revealing the company’s many corporate sins, he’s exposed himself legally and virtually shut himself out from the corridor of Waystar power because viral tweets don’t actually win you anything in the boardroom or in a court of law. Criminal investigations actually take longer than than the ten-second attention span of the internet, buddy. How long will it be before his desire to be back at the center of Waystar sends him crawling back to Logan? 

costume notes! - Roman’s tie is dark red, matching Gerri’s all red ensemble. (a fantastic color on J. Smith Cameron, btw)  - Gerri repeats the same pair of brown suede boots we’ve seen a few times this season.  - dating from S1, the costume team seems to frequently put Shiv in cream/beige/nude tones and no one else, especially in big ensemble scenes...I’d love to do a more specific analysis one day, but for now I’m going with the general assumption that they’re doing this a) to underscore Shiv’s unique position within the family and b) because those shades look especially good on Sarah Snook, whose complexion differs significantly from her on-screen brothers.  - Team Logan soldiers on in blue! 

[popculturebuffet]

Top 12 Christmas Episodes!

Merry Christmas Eve Everybody! We’ve reached the end of my christmas reivews and what not on this blog. 

But as a wise barrel chested canadian man once said, I fucking love christmas, So if i’m finishing up the holiday on my blog I want to go big and stay home. So in honor of the holiday, my memories of it and just how GREAT it makes me feel i’m counting down my top 12 christmas specials! After last year’s worst of list I really wanted to do the oppsiite.. but it was naturally a lot harder. Shows usually put a LOT of effort into their christmas outings, even the ones who do so once a year, so the good FAR FAR OUTWEIGHS THE BAD. To show the contrast I could only find like.. 8 I was comfortable with putting on the worst list and even some of them aren’t that bad just not good. With the best of list? I had over 60 considered and even once I started narrowing down.. it was still around 30 or 40 REALLY GOOD specials I had to work down into this list. It took a lot of work and up to the last one it was really HARD to cut it down this far. But this is the best of the best of the best of the best of the.. you get the bit. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover and this review was already supposed to come out on christmas eve, so, since I won’t be able to use this for another year...

Er. Top 12 Christmas Specials.

12. Merry Christmas Johnny Rose (Schitt’s Creek) So I finally watched all of Schitt’s Creek this year.. and i’m kicking myself for not powering through it’s terrible starting decent ending first season earlier because the show is easly one of the best comedies of the last decade and rightly earned it’s emmy sweep this year. Heartfelt, hilarious, and starring some of the best names old and new in comedy, the show is really great and I recommend checking it out.. just again be aware the first few episodes are not very good and if it wasn’t vital to the rest of the show story wise, i’d just recommend skippping season 1. While the characters minus patriach Johnny are insuferable at first... it’s their growing from self absorbed assholes to still self abosrbed but really good and decent people that is the beating heart of the show. And no where more is this heart on the show’s sleve than at christmas time as this episode is baked in just how far our cast have come.

The episode centers on Johnny Rose, played by Eugene Freaking Levy who co created the show with his equally talented son Dan who desrves the lion’s share of the credit for the show’s upturn in quality. Since the Roses used to have big lavish christmas parties once a year, Johnny decides to throw the equilvent of what they can do on a budget at the Motel they all live in. But his family all has other plans with daughter Alexis, now happily with Ted again, meeting his friends for the first time, son David, played by Dan Levy, busy at his store with his partner, in both senses, patrick and his wife Moira having a performance with her acapella group. At first it just comes off as something typical of johnny: Something well meaning and what not but ultimatley just not something his family is into or that he planend well for.

It’s only when Johnny finds himself alone at the local diner with Moira coming to see him we find out why he’s REALLY doing this: the old lavish parties, which we see one of at the start.. ultimately ended up with him alone, sad and everyone off to their own corners. WIth the family having actually come together over the past 4 seasons, Johny simply wanted to celebrate that and says such in one of the best moments in the entire show and with one hell of a line.

"I just thought, in spite of all the hardship, we found ourselves coming together, the kids, you and me, as a family. And it just seemed like the perfect day to celebrate that. The perfect day for a Rose Family Christmas Party." But Moira has already taken care of it and thus takes JOhnny home to find all their friends and the rest of the family gathered, wtih the Jazzagals serandading eveyrone with a beautiful rendition of silent night. It’s just a warm, well done character piece that really fits the holiday while also really cementing what the show had become: a show not afraid to make dirty jokes or humilatie it’s cast but one that has a true sweetness to it. It’s only that the first half’s jokes don’t quite pop all that well and feel a bit at johnny’s expense that holds it back. Otherwise this is one i’ll be coming back to every year.

11. Father of the Bob (Bob’s Burgers) Bob’s Burgers is a damn great show i’m season’s behind on. Warm, charming, weird and with an expansive side cast played by a whos who of whose in comedy today. It’s a damn fine show and i’m happy it seems to have manatained it’s quality long after the simpsons and family guy lost theirs. And the show really loves christmas.. and halloween.. and valentine’s day.. and thanksgiving. Oh god does it love thanksgiving. Point is, the shows good at holiday episodes and loves doin em and has produced some stellar ones and I had a lot to pick from here.. but I ended up going with my gut and my personal faviorite. It’s not the most christmasy despite the trappings, but the character work is just too good to leave it out in the cold.  It’s Christmas Eve and the Belcher’s are visiting Bob’s Dad. As you can tell by the fact the most we’ve seen of him is a picture of his restraunt, big bob’s diner in the belcher’s living room and a flashback where he told bob to work instead of play as a kid that set off an episode’s plot, they don’t have the best relationship. Bob has a firm rule about not spending more than 15 minutes with his dad, as that’s the point they run out of things to talk about and his dad starts getting overcrytical and making jabs at bob’s life and restraunt. Linda, being Linda, decides to meddle and when she finds out Big Bob’s short order cook is missing, has our Bob fill in.  But as we see in flash backs it’s not THAT easy to repair things, as there’s a long, bitter history between the two: When a youngbob made his first unique burger and served it to a customer, his dad threw it out without even letting anyone taste it. He then offered bob a partnership when bob was a young man but Bob snapped at Big Bob in front of his friends and left to make burgers his own way, leading to where we are now. And honestly i’ts the perfect origin story for Bob and adds a lot of shades to his character. He’s obessed with the restraunt not just because he genuinely loves cooking but because it’s HIS. His place, to create creative burgers, his family and his regulars. It’s his corner of the sky. It makes the restraunt’s existance and surivvial that much more heartwarming to know the meaning behind it.

Naturally things end up blowing up with Bob pointedly serving the burger to make a point and Big bob walking out angrily and sadly. It takes bob’s gift from the kids, who had their own neat subplot of making gifts for bob in the basement, a snowglobe wrapped in newspaper.. to find out hsi dad kept the newspaper with the review of his first restraunt and kept ALL reviews of Bob’s Burgers. Despite being a stone faced critical ass on the outside, Big BOb STILl cared.. and bob relizes he needs to make amends and actually make an effort instead of just avoiding his dad or gettin gback at him. And through the power of gay club next door line dancing, and nick offerman whose a wonderful guest star here, the two reconcile with Bob admitting he shouldn’t of humilatied his dad even if he had to go his own way, and Big Bob admitting he’s hard to work with, the loss of his wife hit him hard, and he was a bit too much. The two hug, and it’s genuinely just a good, well done story of father and son that somehow gives even more dimension to Bob, an already pretty damn fleshed out character. Just a really great episode whose holiday timing makes it better.. though not being AS much a holiday episode as a really good bob’s burgers that’s enhanced by it is why this one’s so low. Next!

10. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (MST3K) I”m honestly surpised i’ts taken me THIS long to get to something MST3K related. I’ve loved the show since high school, first exposed to it thanks to a dvd from the library and continuing from there to present day. I love the show’s combination of riff’s on perfectly cheesy movie and fun skits with really good puppets especially for the budget. It’s just good comfort food in show form and no where is comfort food more welcome than christmas, and each era of MST3K, so far hopefully the show will come back again eventually, has had i’ts own damn good christmas special, with this being my faviorite out of the three. 

The other two are good: ironically I have a poster for the santa claus over my computer, or rather crow and tom as santa and pitch aka satan respectively. Yes really, that’s the premise. IT is as awesome and batshit insane as it sounds. Point is I like that one and year without a santa claus, this one just has more personal warmth to me. I jus tlove the holiday feeling of joel and the bots readying for christmas in the host segments. It just feels like christmas and it’s wonderful to see the bots act like kids.  That being said.. it’s still also fucking hilaroius, with the mad’s hilariously petty wish squisher, a device that turns good gifts into socks and other unwanted presents, the best Crow T Robot quote of all time as he gives joel his santa wish

And of course, one of the best and most patently insane christmas songs ever: Have Yourself a Patrick Swayze christmas, which has become oddly sweet after his death and got me to watch road house for the first time last year... and it’s as awesome and wonderfully rediclous as this song inspiried by it and even better once you get the refrences

But while the host segments are what push this film into the list, the movie is still a delightful bit of 60′s cheese as, to restore their children to being children, a couple of martians kidnap santa to bring christmas to mars. Fights iwth robots, an asshole martian and an obnoxious sidekick named droppo, yes really, insue. IT’s just some fun cheese for the holiday and a staple of my holidays. 

9. The Three Wise Men (Letterkenny)  It’s no secret Letterkenny has quickly become one of my faviorite shows. After watching it last January, it’s become part of my being and one of my go too feel good shows, a funny as hell, uniquely weird slice of life show set in rural canada. While like it’s fellow recent legend of canadian television Schitt’s creek it’s first season CAN be a bit rough.. but it’s not as rough and getting through it is worht it as the show immiedatly picked up and became one of the funniest things to ever exist. It’s also uniquely tied to christmas as every year a season of the show has dropped on that day on it’s home streamer Crave TV in canada, and on boxing day here in the us. So it’s only fitting the show also has a REALLY great christmas special. 

It’s Christmas eve and our heroes the hicks, are having a christmas party. For the uniniated the hick’s aren’t really all that “hick” ish just hardworking farmers who still accept everybody and work damn hard. Leading man, terse talker and certified badass Wayne is suprisingly really into christmas, as he spent pretty much every holiday spouting out inacuracies about it but this day? He genuienly enjoys, even insiting on awful holiday drinks only and a midnight toast, the titular three wiseman (Canadian, irish and American Whiskeys, one shot of each). “It’s tradition”.  And thanks to tradition we get the main gag of the episode: most of the episode is wayne calling in various members of the town, most of whom he dosen’t like very much and some who deeply annoy him, to give them presents. And  while i’ve admitted to being a guy who dosen’t like a plot that basically repeats itslef.. it works here.. mostly because while the setup is the same, each member provides something new and hilarious: while it starts innocently enough with Bonnie Mcmurray, local fanservice, nice lady and fangirl of wayne, getting a camera and offering to be an elf, an offer wayne is forced to take up, it soon becomes a parade of weirdness and bullshit Wayne really dosen’t want to put up with and that really makes me laugh hard: Local loveable sex maniac and bar owner Gail goes on for a good minute about her sexual antics with Wayne’s beloved departed uncle eddie after Wayne gives him a picture of the guy, Glenn, another of wayn’es unwanted admirers and local pastor, obsesses over a christmas themed digeredoo, local druggies and emos the skids intitally refuse to open their gift out of prinicpal until wayne simply asks “What if theres drugs in it” (It’s insted vitamin d), the local hockey coach sings a hilarious and gloriously cringe song about having sex with his wife when they were alive and the hockey players make wayne uncomfortable both by crying a bit. Also tanis gets an apron. 

But even if the reactions horrify or piss off our hero into needing his elf’s help, the heart is in the fact that despite hating most of these people, he still got them a gift and one that’s hearfelt and well meaning. And naturally the sweetest is saved for his family of choice with the hicks: Squirrely Dan gets a pencil case for his oft talked about women’s studies class, Dary gets some clonge since he wears his barn clothes everywhere, and Katy gets an obscure korean christmas movie since her subplot that episode had been spent trying to get a christmas movie going, only for everyone to pick it apart: from the racisim of santa and co towards rudolph to pointing out how profoundly fucked up the premise of the santa claus is (including the fact various serial killers could’ve gotten the suit), which I agree with, it’s just a sweet gesture that shows how well he knows his friend. Overall it’s just a fun hangout of an episode that feels like a real christmas party and in these troubling times we could all use that. Now let’s all have a spit.

8. The Feast of Alvis (Sealab 2021) Another Christmas staple for me.. and a gloriously strange one at that. This time we’re checking under the sea with Sealab 2021, one of the earliest adult swim shows and the blueprint for the abriged series format, it took a dry hannah barbara show about an underwater research station and remixed it into the antics of a bunch of idiots and lunatatics throughuly unequipped for the task. Except Dr. Quinn, the only sane person aboard.. most of the time. It was comedy gold courtsey of Adam Reed, creator of the later Frisky Dingo, a throughly underated show, and Archer, which is like Frisky Dingo but refined into it’s truest and most sucessful form. It was magical and just talking about it makes me want to talk about it again at some point, probably in a best of list.  So naturally this madcap energy was perfect for the holidays. Originally the crew planned to use ACTUAL religions for this, but were forced by network to change it.. which ended up being one of those cases where the network ended up actually making the right call as the creators instead created thinly veiled substute for the various religions... and centered it around Alavanism, which is christianity.. but if christ was instead born in the us at some point, and instead of being a pacifist, was a drunken beligernt gun loving redneck who shot a guy in the face, has “vengance is mine” as one of his quotes (from said face shooting) and still had pomp and circumstance as part of his holiday.  Helping this though is our Alvian for the evening is Captain Murphy, the series best character and often the center of it’s best moments, played by the wonderful and sadly late Harry Goz, a half crazed half chidlish cloud cuckoolander who often comes off like a demanding child in an old man’s body. So naturally this holiday is for him and even more naturally he’s holding a massive alvis day cermeony that’s as batshit as he and his religion are in the main deck: he’s got buffalo, a buffet that’s deeply unsanitary, and a hallogen light mimickign the alvistide star that he wants to plop a baby under.  Naturally no one else is happy about this. Well Stormy, local hilarious dumbass, is as the only other alvian on board for this, and a general sucker for dumb shenanigans but he’s so plastared he’s even less coherent than usual and can mostly muster the desire to kick something’s ass or a weak “shut up” Most of all Quinn and his girlfriend debbie, who point out religious tolerance is a part of the sealab charter and that this kind of grotesuqe celebration really isn’t in season. I’ts also a nice dig at “War on Christmas Assholes”, long before that was as big a problem with Muprhy very much being the asshole and his cleebration rapidly crumbling. He also attempts to fire Sparks for being a wiccan stand in so yeah he deserves it. It’s all capped in Muprhy getting visted by a drunken halucination of his lord. All in all easily one of the best and most insane christmas specials ever put to film. If you have HBO Max watch it today or tommorow you will NOT regret it. 

7. Arnold’s Christmas (Hey Arnold)  A classic of my childhood, Hey Arnold is one of the best animated shows period. It’s something i’m not shy about saying, I bleivie I said it in my thanksgiving list and i’ll say it quite a bit. It’s not PERFECT, it has it’s flaws.. but it’s still damn good and the golden standard for slice of life shows. 

This episode naturally is one of it’s best and, while I didn’t catch as a kid the signifigance or what this was about, touches on of all things the vietnam war and the children who were helicoptered out. In a heart destroying story, Mr. Winn, one of Arnold’s boardinghousemates, reveals he has a daughter he has no idea where she is as to give her a better life, he made sure she got on one of those helicopters as an infant. While he was able to immigrate later, he never found her. Arnold being our own personal jesus, refuses to let this stand and goes out of his way to figure it out and goes on a quest that seemingly ends in failure. It falls on Helga to save the day as Helga actually gets what she wanted from her parents, a pair of nice boots, and gets the rare moment where they actually acknoledge her.. but loving arnold and seeing the noblility in his quest.. she gives it up. Just to make someone elses’ dream come true. He may never know who did it and tha’ts okay. An utterly heartwarming and heartbreaking episode. Nuff said. 

6. Santa Claus is Comin To Town  Speaking of classics this is how you do a santa origin story. Not the first or last i’d see, and we’ll get to one of those in a moment. While i’m not a huge fan of Rankin Bass’ other big hit with Rudolph, this one really hits the spot for me and is only this low because it’s pacing is really slow at points. Otherwise this special is near flawless, looks good and holds up today.  As I said this is a good Year One for santa establishing how he became immortal, how he met the elves, he was raised by them, how he started giving out toys, how he met mrs claus you know all the stuff you’d ask about.  To me what really sells it the best though is Mickey Rooney as Santa. While I had no idea who played him till literally writing this article in my mind his earnesness, kindness and genuine nature just.. fit the old elf to me even as a young man and everything from his humble beginings to his wanting to help children just out of kindness to his teaching an old man to dance to his romance just feels.. genuine and warm like christmas should. It just makes me feel good and like others on this list.. FEELS like christmas if that makes any sense. Not a lot else to say. Burger Meister Meisterburger isn’t the best vilian, but it was the early 70′s and we weren’t quite to diamond levels of complex interesting villians just yet so fair enough. Baiscally I don’t have a TON to say about this special in short, I may review it next year, we’ll see, but  it’s really good, really fun and sometimes simple just works I guess? Speaking of stop motion..

5. Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas (Community) I love a good sitcom. I haven’t shared that love enough on here, I should try and change that at some point, but I do, as a fourth of this list should make crystal clear. So while sadly some of my faviorites like Brooklyn Nine Nine, Parks and Rec and Roseanne didn’t make the cut, Community thankfully did. Community is a show that’s really damn good and had THREE awesome Christmas episodes. All three, all winners and all in contention for some time. Regional Holiday music just barely didn’t make the cut. But ultimately I went with the best of the best, the most creative, most character driven, and most intresting. And the one that in Community’s traditional style, decided to take a spin on an old genre.  In this case Abed, the study groups resident pop culture junkie, guy who thinks in tropes and future Huey Duck, is seeing everything in stop motion and may get thrown out of school as a result. With his friends deeply worried, they turn to Greendale’s local psychologist and british areshole Professor Duncan, played by my spirtual father John Oliver. ALL HAIL THIS MAN

Duncan takes the two into Abed’s fantasy and thus into a rankin bass special where Abed slowly weeds out his friends and tries to get rid of Duncan, whose naturally only intrested in proving a case. It’s a fun, chaotic ride including christmas pterodactyls, and the cast all in bizzare forms based on what Abed thinks of htem. it’s really damn creative and beauitfully animated at that.  Naturally like most of these what clinches it is the heart and soul. We find out towards the end WHy this happened: Abed’s mom is spending christmas with her new family instead of him and it’s broken him to not be able to watch specials like they do> Thus the group rally behind their friend, beat duncan in a wonderful christmas number and watch specials with their buddy, as the weird ass family some of whom have or will make out, they are. 

4. A Charlie Brown Christmas With my love of comic strips and sentiment, it should suprise absolutely no one this is on here. I love peanuts and have only grown to love it more over hte years for it’s mealancholy, finely constructed cast and weird bits people forget about like Snoopy’s disco phase, that really damn good arc where his house burned down, his brother stealing his fiance only to have her stolen from him, the fact Lucy threw Linus out once, that peppermint patty was once held back a grade and her snores took her place at her desk, the fact there was a character named 5, Charlie Brown and Linus’ friend roy who introduced peppermint patty to the cast, the fact a character named crybaby boobie exists, the fact there are specials devoted to a pastiche of call of the wild, a friend of linus’ getting cancer, and Flashbeagle. Just flashbeagle. 

It is glorious. And I really need to add that to my review queue.. maybe for late january. Seriously, tis glorious. And I OWN this one. So yeah. What were we talking about? Oh yes the special that made all the specials, especially flashbeagle, possible: A Charlie Brown Christmas This one has always been part of my life, but even beyond it’s signifigance to me, having grown up with it and grafted it to my soul, it’s just .. good. It has some good commentary on the consumrisim of the holiday with Charlie Brown rightly a bit upset about it and ending up roped into directing a christmas play. Great gags, and charlie brown trying to stick up for a scragly tree no one enlse likes insue. Oh and scripture as this is probably the only overtly religious special on the list. Not that ther’es anything wrong with not being religious and celebrating christmas: i’m not anymore but I still do and while I respect people who celebrate the holiday int he spirit of christ I have none for people who bash anyone who dosen’t just see it religiously and whose over zealous about it. Your just as bad as war on christmas people and you should feel bad.  But yeah overal it’s just an inconic special whose clunkyness in production and audio just adds some charm to it. It shows it’s age.. but only in the animation and production values, which is just.. charming. It’s message is timeless, it’s characterization is perfect as you’d expect from peanuts in it’s prime, and i’ts ending is truly heartmelting. If you’ve never seen this one.. just go do that. I can wait. 

3. How Santa Stole Christmas! (Ducktales)  I”ll be brief on this one as, since it only aired a few weeks ago, i’ve already done a full review on it. But I will justify why such a recent special is this high up: because it’s just that good. It may of JUST been aired, but it’s as good as anything else here and age dosen’t matter. Quality does. There will likely be future specials worth this list i’m sure but for this moment in time this one earns it. It has Santa perfectly charactrized and tells an utterly heartrending story of friendship that ends up ending simply because the two are moving in opposite directions and of Scrooge learning the meaning of christmas. Not thorugh the ghosts, they already brilliantly messed with that one. It’s just really fantastic, gets the christmas spriit perfectly and uses the characters just as flawlessly. I will defintely be watching this one every year. Just a warm, creative, funny as hell special. 

2. Comfort and Joy (Justice League) Speaking of reviews I held off reviews of my final two so I could save more thoughts here. I probably still will review them eventually, especially this one, I just felt i’d be repeating myself or have to be brief like the last one. But yeah this one slaps. The Justice League cartoon is easily one of the best superhero cartoons, if not superhero properties, period. Taking the base already built in from the previous three dcau cartoons, this one builds out the world and expands it , and introduced a young me to my lifelong loves of Martian Manhunter, The Flash and especailly the green lanterns with John Stewarts badass reciting of the oath easily etched in my brain. The only reason he isn’t my faviorite lantern is because mogo exists.. aka the lantern that is a living planet. 

You can see why. But yeah Jon stuck in my mind. So it’s probably no suprise that the christmas special heavily featuring all three. It’s Christmas Time and after the league stops it’s usual disaster, they head off for their usual holiday activities. Batman and Wonder Woman are missing, but it’s fine. While I love both, especailly DCAU Batman, the episode is probably better off not trying to shove them in there just for the sake of it. One of the show’s greatest strength’s was character ballance, not forcing EVERY member of the big 7 into every episode and just using whose needed and shuffling them in and out FAR BETTER than say, Ducktales. Point is this, much like being loved by anyone, was not unusual and it makes the episode tighter. Even more so since this is the ONLY half hour episode in the first two seasons, the rest are basically hour long episodes split into two parters, though still paced for being two episodes so it’s good.. and three movie length three parters for the premire, and the season finales. Fun Fact: As a kid I missed starcrossed and thus had to find out second hand, and barely at that, why hawkgirl was gone at the start of unlimited. I still have not seen it. I will correct this eventually. It was a diffrent time. 

So yeah this episode not only has a main character cast of 6, with 3 other major supporting characters, but is handily split into three amazing plot lines. The first has Green Lantern try to teach Hawkgirl how to have christmas fun by playing on a snowy world, while Hawkgirl takes him to a bar to show how she celebrates.. i.e. getting hammered and starting a fight. Nanananana, she’s gonna start a fight. It’s a fun really sweet segment, and some nice ship tease between the two.  The other two though are what make this special.. not that the first one is bad these two are just really inspiried for the characters involved: For the Flash, who in this series is both Wally and a bit of a smug quipster.. we see beneath the ego and flirting he’s really a sweet, caring guy and spends his christmas finding a toy for the orphans in this case a rapping duck. 

Not QUITE as embarassing btu close. He runs into the Ultra Humanite whose destroying the toys because he hates the comercialism and how it dumbs things down for the kids. Have I mentioned that I love the Ultra Humanite? Because I do.. the animated version. The comics version is REALLY fucking creepy but this version? He’s fucking great, an intellectual whose a formidable threat.. and honestly sympathetic. His motive here, while misguided, is well meaning and his price for selling out the injustice gang and going back to jail quitely? one of the best gags in human history. Getting PBS to say “This program was supported by viewers like you.. and the ultra humanite” He’s just awesome and i’ts a shame he never returned for unlimited. His comic version, while not BAD is just.. not NEARLY as intresting or deep and I wish the comics would have him take after this version.  And that depth shows as once he learns what was going on, he willingly helps flash and simply reprograms the duck to recite the nutcracker. It’s a really nice gesture, that flash returns by giving his foe a christmas tree. Really good stuff.  And I saved the best for last. Heading home for the holidays, Clark takes Jonn with him since otherwise he’d be stuck at the watchtower and batman was apparnetly “Begging” for duty. Granted one wonders what his surrogate dad and adopted sons think but odds are alfred would just drag them up there anyway no mater how much Dick protested. And of course Alfred has watchtower clearance, he’s alfred: he’s the only one besides Diana looking out for bruce.. and no I don’t buy the bullshit from the batman beyond comics that never happened. And Clark too, this is true... but it takes a village to get bruce to go the fuck to sleep and most of that villiage is alfred. And if your wondering “wait won’t he be in danger”... the only thing that can kill this man is apparently bane. He’s survivied earthquakes, poisonings, turning into a supervillian via radaition induced crazies, yes really, apparently dying leading to the supervillian thing, being stabbed, being shot at, having to help raise damien... my point is the guy’s been through a lot in comics, I doubt the dcau version is any less resilent and god damn I miss this old man. Salute alfred, salute.  Where was I oh yeah, Clark insists on taking John home. And it’s stuff like this why I freaking love superman. Many dismiss him as corny, unrelaistic or boring.. all untrue. Sure he’s a boyscout, but he’s meant ot resprsent the best in mankind, what we can truly be powers or no, what we can achieve and the kind of moral, kind person we can be. He’s an inspiration for us all. And this kind of act is what shows that: his response to one of his friends having nowhere to go on christmas and not having been around the holiday? Take him to his house to share in the warmth and love.  And Clark’s parents here show WHY he’s the hero he is and why I freaking love them in all flavors.. except Zack Snyder flavor and even then tha’ts only for Pa “Letting people die is the right thing to do now i’m going to throw myself into a tornado to prove that” kent. But it’s christmas so i’m not here to bitch about zack snyder and if you want that in full, you can pay for it.  My point is they show, as they should how he became the moral paragon he is: they meet a man from mars, who they’ve never met and their son just invited.. and welcmoe him without a thought. While this isnt’ their first alien obviously, and they say so, it’s still really sweet they just warmly welcome the man in and give him their surrogate daughter/their sons’ biological cousin’s room while sh’es away. Oh Kara’s away conveniently skiing with barbra. Also she lives with them in this continuity. Also maybe that’s where dick is. I dunno, but I hope so. Dickbabs for life.. depending on the continuity. I”m still dick and star for life in the titans cartoon.  Point is we get nice of sweet, and hilaroius, holiday stuff: Jonn is suprised to see this side of clark: while he’s always warm and inviting as Clark.. he can also be relaxed, enjoy the holiday and get real spirited. For one day he dosen’t have to be superman. He can just be clark. Evne superman can take a day off.. and he’s superman, he desrves one. Let Bruce and Diana take care of it after they finish marathon sex and Diana finshes with Cheetaah and Maxwell lord.  But yeah as I was saying hilarious as we find out clark used to peak and they had to, and still do, line it with lead foil to make sure he can’t peak, and Martha gives John a sweater, saying his company is all they need for a gift and when it’s a bit big he charmingly grows into it. Jonn also walks among the humans a bit and we get a great little bit of him sneaking down a chimney after hearing the thorughts of a girl whose worried santa isn’t real. It’s just all great stuff that cumilates in Jonn joyfully singing a song in his native tounge while stroking Kara’s cat Streaky.. who sadly does not have a cape or super powers in this universe. Yet. Just a really good superhero story, a damn fine christmas story and one of the best episodes of a stellar show that thankfully is still remembered in this new age of heroes. 

1. It’s Christmas You Dorks (Harvey Beaks) Yup not probably a lot of people’s first choice but fuck it. I’ve loved this one since i saw it a few years ago shorlty after the series ended, having grown far behind and caught up just as it was ending... and regretted it as Harvey Beaks is easily one of my faviorite shows from the wall to wall hit parade that was the 2010′s. It’s charming, hilaroius, heartfelt, and creative.. and really weird if not as weird as CH Greenblaht’s previous show chowder.. but still weird enough.Thankfully Big City Greens is carying the banner for this kind of show, as is Craig of the Creek, so the kind of gentle, slice of life stuff hasn’t gone away, but this show was still it’s own thing and i’m sad it’s gone.  But while it was here it was spectacular and this is one of the best of em if not the best. And naturally for a show like this it has a neat approach: The episode is dialouge free, only having some singing in the last act and that’s diagetic, the characters singing a christmas song. We’ll get to that. This isn’t the FIRST silent christmas special i’ve seen, Courage the Cowardly dog did it’s own take on the nutcracker, but it’s still the best. And given Courage the Cowardly Dog is one of my faviorite shows, that’s high praise. Each segment is charming, unique, and well done. 

As for what each are: The wraparound is a gorgeously animated bit of stop motion or something like it where the spirit of winter goes around and turns fall to winter or helps the kid with winter fun. It’s a bunch of really adorable stuff. The first proper one is the kids having a snowball fight when a bunch of asshole adults interupt, and hte kids end up getting even by hiding in some snowmen. Again just some really fun, really well done stuff.  But the first one that really makes it follows Technobear, local wannabe ladies man in training who has a crush on Harvey’s mom and fantasies about giving her some lovely read shoes and skating with her. His hopes are dashed when instead her daughter michelle, the horrifing baby child pictured above, takes them instead. But not only is it heartwarming to see the stone faced future rule of the world crack a smile, Techno instnatly realizes whats’ improtant and takes the bby ice skating.  The next segment is just some goofy googus with the squirrels, the local crooks who are also squirreels, but it’s still pretty good. We then get Jeremy trying to be santa which is both funny but genuinely heartwarming and finally the best bit as Dade, local killjoy, gets annoyed at everyone singing a popular new christmas song instead of the old standard he likes and being a dick about it before softening a bit when Harvey genuinely offers him camradere. It’s just.. good stuff that’s hard to put into words, and given putting it into words is my thing, it really speaks to just hwo good this special is. it just, makes me feel nice, and really gets the spirit of the holiday in all it’s forms. It’s gorgeously aniamted, well paced, and never stops being entertaining and that’s why it’s both my faviorite and why every year.. i’ll be coming back to little bark. And if nothing else.. it’ll keep this warm, great show alive in my heart.  So with that I end this list. If you didn’t like it tha’ts fine, this is my opinon. But I wanted to share my faviorites with you and hope you’ll check them out this or next chirstmas. Until we meet again... Merry Christmas to all,and to all a good night. 

[dweemeister]

The Daydreamer (1966)

By the 1960s, Christmas television specials were in vogue in the United States. Yet this recent phenomenon had yet to yield a true cultural touchstone. On December 6, 1964, the first Christmas special mainstay aired on NBC. Produced by a fledgling animation studio, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer put Rankin/Bass, named after co-founders Arthur Rankin, Jr. and Jules Bass, into the public consciousness. Rankin/Bass’ brand of stop-motion animation (“Animagic”) was mostly outsourced to Japanese studio MOM Productions in Tokyo, under the direction of Tadahito Mochinaga. With the windfall of Rudolph, Rankin/Bass and MOM Productions delved into the realm of feature theatrical films. This review concerns their second feature film, The Daydreamer – a stop motion animation/live-action hybrid based on Hans Christian Andersen’s stories. The Daydreamer has starpower in its cast that no Rankin/Bass production had yet matched. But as one might expect from a Rankin/Bass film, there are narrative flaws abound. The Daydreamer, episodic in nature and alternating between live-action and animation scenes, suffers due to the inconsistent quality of the handful of Hans Christian Andersen adaptations it has and the kitschy live-action acting.

The young Hans Christian Andersen (“Chris”; Paul O’Keefe) is the son of a cobbler (Jack Gilford). Papa Andersen often has to face the verbal tirades of frequent customer Mrs. Klopplebobbler (Margaret Hamilton; it is difficult not to think of Hamilton’s portrayal of the Wicked Witch here). His struggling business often means he cannot pay the gangling Pie Man (Ray Bolger; yet another Wizard of Oz star). To take him away from these troubles, Chris will let his imagine run wild while napping. If he can only just find the mythical Garden of Paradise, all these troubles might vanish. One evening, the Sandman (voiced by Cyril Ritchard) promises him to guide him there. Along the way, Chris is subject to dreams that may seem familiar to the viewer. These dreams shift away from live-action into the signature Rankin/Bass animation – adapting “The Little Mermaid”, “The Emperor’s New Clothes”*, “Thumbelina”, and “The Garden of Paradise”. Elements of “The Ugly Duckling” and “Little Claus and Big Claus” also appear.

Among the many voice actors during these animation sequences are Hayley Mills (The Little Mermaid); Burl Ives (Neptune – I have never heard Ives’ voice so devoid of jaunt before); Tallulah Bankhead (the sea witch); Terry-Thomas (the first tailor); Victor Borge (the second tailor); Ed Wynn (the Emperor); Patty Duke (Thumbelina); and Boris Karloff (the Rat).

The film’s adaptations of Andersen’s tales differ in that Andersen himself becomes a character in each of the stories. The Daydreamer approaches the stories as if the ideas are only just forming in the young Chris’ head, to be written and published when he is an adult. Within these dreams-someday-to-be-stories, Chris is largely a passive character. He takes instruction from the central figures of his future tales, never really asserting himself or asking basic questions about the misadventures he goes through. Chris acts as if lost in his own imagination – which fits the conceit of the film. So when he awakens into the real world, the film’s pacing slams the brakes. In the real world, everyone except Chris is a caricature, somehow less realistic than the individuals appearing in the daydreams. The transitions between animation and live-action will take the viewer out of the film because of the unceasing manic acting in the latter, as opposed to the charming puppetry of the former. As such, The Daydreamer’s weaknesses lie almost entirely with the live-action scenes – too consciously playing to the audience and over-the-top in their absurdity.

In an era of American animation defined by Disney on the screen and Hanna-Barbera on television, Rankin/Bass carves out its own niche in how it tells its stories. The meta humor and fourth wall breaking of Hanna-Barbera’s works (a legacy of the duo’s work at MGM) makes no appearances here. Disney’s clean-cut fairytale endings also do not apply. The Daydreamer’s adaptation of “The Little Mermaid” does not have the gruesome premise as Andersen’s original fairytale, but it retains the ending’s heartbreak. There appears to be no alterations to “The Emperor’s New Clothes” – which includes Chris, but he just feels superfluous to the plot and to the tale’s keen comedy. Each of the film’s segments bring Chris closer to the final animated sequence, “The Garden of Paradise”. The adaptation of that tale sanitizes its deathly overtures for a devil-like creature, but keeps the ambiguous, open-ended conclusion. By maintaining the original conclusion, “The Garden of Paradise” is a curious coda for The Daydreamer – a film that ends as abruptly as its several transitions, like a daydream.

The Daydreamer’s live-action sets benefit, however, due to the fact many of its scenes were shot at the 1964 New York World’s Fair. The World’s Fair pavilions used in this film mimic a feel of small-town, nineteenth century Europe more realistically than a Hollywood soundstage might. The production design for the animated dream sequences, too, are mesmerizing. Perhaps this is best exemplified in “The Little Mermaid”. There, the special effects work make it appear as if the whole sequence was shot underwater, rather than a room that contained blue lights streaming into Neptune’s palace. Where are the strings and wires suspending the puppets in mid-air while they “swim”? To the animators’ credit, there are none to be found. Neptune’s palace is one of the grander sets constructed for a Rankin/Bass production; its imposing walls and generous empty spaces reflect a sense of regal grandeur. That royal otherworldliness does not extend to “The Emperor’s New Clothes”, but many of the same production design decisions carry over. Rankin/Bass and MOM Productions are obviously working with more money and manpower for these animated scenes than in the likes of Rudolph or their many holiday television specials. The sense of scale and grandiosity seen here in The Daydreamer and Mad Monster Party? (1967) would rarely, if ever, be replicated for television. And it is also obvious that the filmmakers put the money into the animation and for paying headline-worthy actors, rather than for any writers able to string the animated and live-action halves together.

Seven songs comprise The Daydreamer’s musical soundtrack. Composed by Maury Laws and Jules Bass, most of the songs are forgettable once your viewing is done (including Robert Goulet singing the title song over the opening credits, despite the fact I admire Goulet’s voice). But there are notable exceptions. Sung by Hayley Mills at the end of “The Little Mermaid”, “Wishes and Teardrops” brings the segment to a worthy close. Her loved ignored, the Little Mermaid sings this lament – backed with percussion straight from a ‘60s love ballad and timeless swelling strings – for herself:

Wishes and teardrops Won’t make him love me. He’s gone and he’ll never return. Does he know how teardrops can burn, When they fall for a wish That can never come true?

In the film’s final third, “Luck to Sell” injects a jolt of energy sorely missing from many of the other live-action scenes. The song itself is simple and the singing just avoids being flat, but when paired with the energetic choreography from Paul O’Keefe and company, it elevates itself from the rest of the soundtrack (save “Wishes and Teardrops”).

Not often will a viewer encounter a film with two sets of opening credits. I’m not writing about films that have an overture that transition to opening credits (an entirely different approach that modern filmmakers should utilize more), but two sets of opening credits that list the names of the actors involved. For the first set of credits, caricaturist Al Hirschfeld (uncredited) was hired to draw caricatures of the various actors and actresses appearing in, or lending their voices to, The Daydreamer. The Daydreamer is the second of three films that Hirschfeld was involved in. The first, appearing as himself uncredited, was in Main Street to Broadway (1953); his third and final film was as an artistic consultant on the “Rhapsody in Blue” segment (which was influenced by his caricatures) in Fantasia 2000.

Rankin/Bass’ ventures into feature film animation peaked several months later with Mad Monster Party? After that and the unfortunate production of The Wacky World of Mother Goose (1967; a traditionally animated eyesore), Rankin/Bass almost completely dedicated itself to its animated television specials. The Daydreamer, distributed by the now-defunct Embassy Pictures and currently owned by Sony Pictures Television (the ownership of the rights to Rankin/Bass’ features are exasperatingly scattered), has not been widely seen when compared to Mad Monster Party?, let alone Rankin/Bass’ television specials. If one can find a serviceable print of The Daydreamer, the viewing experience will be a valuable glimpse into the studio’s collaboration with MOM Productions. A Rankin/Bass fan that has only known the studio through its television specials will see their work operating with higher production values; Rankin/Bass novices can experience a dimension of animated filmmaking too often considered an afterthought.

My rating: 6/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. Half-points are always rounded down. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found in the “Ratings system” page on my blog (as of July 1, 2020, tumblr is not permitting certain posts with links to appear on tag pages, so I cannot provide the URL).

For more of my reviews tagged “My Movie Odyssey”, check out the tag of the same name on my blog.

* “The Emperor’s New Clothes” was adapted twice by Rankin/Bass. The second adaptation is the heart of the television special The Enchanted World of Danny Kaye (1972), starring Danny Kaye. That adaptation of “The Emperor’s New Clothes” is distinct from the one that appears in The Daydreamer. The Danny Kaye special’s adaptation has a more developed storyline, completely different voice cast, and completely different soundtrack.

[asterbi]

so I finished sally face

SALLY FACE SPOILERS (INCLUDING EPISODE 5) AHEAD

I played through the entire game two days ago (i had already watched both jacksepticeye's and gloomgames' lets plays for the first four episodes) and yeah, I know I'm a week and a bit late late, but I have some thoughts

Also I’m so sorry for how long this is, I know no one cares but I just started rambling and I couldn’t stop

First of all, criticism:

I'm getting real fucking tired of "ooOOooOOOoo a native american myth so scary and otherworldly" like dude shut the fuck up that's disrespectful as

Also (and please correct me if I'm wrong) I'm like 99% sure that the native american myth in question isn't real which. is somehow even worse

He buried his gays (tbh I wasn't that annoyed at this one because 1) at least one of the gays lived and 2) he buried pretty much everyone else too but I feel like it had to be said)

Now. Let me preface this by saying I loved travis' redemption, which I'll get more into later. However, I really didn't like the fact that travis' character played into the whole 'homophobes are gay' thing, which is a uhhhh vaguely problematic trope

The ending was unsatisfying. I'll get more into it in a sec

Larry was one of my favourite characters, and I know he's a fan favourite too. Considering the fact that he is a main character and he's been given a lot of attention and development, having him disappear at the end without any explanation and barely a reunion or a goodbye was an asshole move.

I would have loved to see some more worldbuilding and lore, especially getting into what exactly the red eyes plague did, why the cult wanted to summon red eyes, how the whole replacement thing worked, what happened with charley, and what exactly the whole mother tree thing was with larry

Ash's extremely triggering and graphic suicide. I understand this is a horror game. I understand that this sort of thing is expected and normal in horror games. But showing players imagery like that without so much as a content warning? That's not okay.

Some of the characters were left really underdeveloped. Sal and larry were great, and ash saw a lot of development in the last episode, but todd, neil, and travis, who were given a fair bit of attention as well, were pretty 2d (not so much travis, but still)

And now for things I enjoyed:

The entire game

Despite everything I said earlier, this is still one of my favourite games, and I really really loved it

Sal was a f a n t a s t i c character. 0% toxic masculinity, 12/10. I love the fact that he was so kind and calm towards everyone, even those who were rude to him, but still knew where to draw the line and wasn't a total pushover. I especially love the fact that even though he likes feminine things and wears pigtails and whatnot, he is a cishet guy. While more lgbt+ representation (particularly trans people and wlw) would've been great, I also like that the game shows that you don't have to be lgbt in order to be gnc, especially since the gnc person is both a man, and the main character, which is really uncommon. Also disabled representation!! That's really fucking awesome

Larry was also brilliant!! Loves metal, loves art, has a criminal record, cries during sappy movies, does drugs and dabbles in illegal activities, wants to go to college, is openly and unapologetically affectionate towards his friends and unafraid to tell them he loves them

Ash was not one of my favourite characters but I really love how she developed from sceptic to believer and the way she changed and faced her own problems, and to some extent had her own story (although it did rely fairly heavily on sal’s, which was :/ but then again everyone’s story relied on sal’s)

Okay so back to travis - I loved his redemption arc so much, because he was a redeemable character. I see so many characters who get redemption arcs that absolutely do not deserve them, but travis was a good person born into a horrible situation, and I’m glad they explored homophobia and abuse (although I’m not happy about the homophobes are gay thing like I said) and made him a hero at the end. I’m also glad that we got foreshadowing that it would happen, and it didn’t come totally out of left field

Speaking of which, props to steve gabry for not pulling an endgame and just throwing things in for shock value. Sal coming back in ep 5 was hinted at, travis’ redemption was hinted at, and of course the events of the first four episodes were hinted at because they were memories. Even ash and neil’s involvement in fighting the cult despite being a sceptic and someone totally ignorant about it respectively made perfect sense, and though the parallel universes thing and larry’s reappearance was a surprise, it still sort of fits with how the lore of the game works

The different game styles in episode 5 were absolutely out of this world. All of them were fantastic (although fuck you 3d sal you were Not fun to play), and I thought that was a really cool interpretation of the parallel universes thing

The writing was consistently really good throughout the whole game, and it genuinely makes you so attached to all of the characters, which makes the ending all the more upsetting

This is more personal but I really loved like. The Aesthetic of the game? It was so grungy and out there, and little things like the necrolight guitar and the super gear boy just added to this whole vibe of teenagers-trying-to-do-good-in-a-messed-up-world and I can’t explain it but it was great

The game really didn’t shy away from any aspects of horror, but it also did it in a really well written way that creeped you out without relying on random jumpscares, which was awesome. I mean they had e v e r y t h i n g - mass cannibalism, demonic rituals, cults, prophecies, murder, human sacrifices, suicide, nudity but in the creepy way not the sexy way (the random gory scene in ep 5 where neil and maple were hanging naked and dead upside down really startled me because I just didn’t expect it from this game and it just freaked me out more), aliens, creepy puppets which reminded me of dhmis, the list goes on

The main part in episode 4 where larry and sal are working together in different dimensions?? Poetic, amazing, 12/10

Final opinions: I absolutely loved the characters, the story, the general aesthetic of the game, and the art style and writing. Episode 5 was probably my least favourite episode, because I found the ending really vague and unsatisfying, although I absolutely loved all the different game styles. I also found that a lot was left vague and unanswered, and not really in a good way???? Also the representation and stuff was great (especially disabled rep, because that’s rare), but there were a few things that rubbed me the wrong way :/ Still, sally face is one of my favourite games, and I’m so sad that the series has come to an end :(

[isaackuo]

No thoughts on “Sad Teen Hotline”, huh?

My upcoming episode guesses

Princess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic Bell

The cutesy title sounds like a story being told by (or for) Meteora. It would be super cute if this were told in an artistic puppet style or something.

Ghost of Butterfly Castle

I’m not sure if the background fits, but if it does then I guess this is where we see Moon looking up in horror? So I’m guessing this is a Moonriver episode.

Cornball!

We already have an official description that this is where Star tries to convince Buff Frog to return to Mewni. The name “Cornball!” with an exclamation point makes it sound like it might be basketball, but … I’m guessing Ludo and Dennis playing basketball is actually Doop-Doop. We’ll see soon enough. But I feel like Star finding and asking Buff Frog to return to Mewni is going to consume the full 11 minutes.

Also, I feel like this is the climactic story point of this block. Buff Frog’s decision to leave Mewni was a big part of S3’s main story - it hammered home how Princess Star Butterfly could try her best and it still wouldn’t be enough. Imploring Buff Frog to return is going to be heavy emotional stuff. This is no time for flipping Ludo playing hoops with Dennis.

Meteora’s Lesson

We already have an official description that this is where Glossaryck needs Meteroa to help him with an errand. But since this is in the 4 slot, I feel like this is going to end on something momentous like Surviving the Spiderbites did. Perhaps this will continue the storyline of Star and the remaining piece of the Book of Spells?

- - -

The Knight Shift

Maybe just comedic filler? This sounds like it has to do with Mewni’s Knights, and they haven’t been much more than comedic stuff.

Queen-Napped

I’m guessing Mina kidnaps Queen Eclipsa.

Junkin’ Janna

Okay so what gives? We go from zero Janna episodes to two Janna episodes in the final act? Heck, not even Tom has had any episodes titled after him (although I guess Lake House Fever counts since it’s a reference to Tom’s voice actor that fandom noticed right away). Well, whatever. I’m guessing this is comedic filler. But I love Janna so it’ll be fun for me. But what is it doing in the 3 slot? Is it going to have some Tomstar or Kellco stuff jammed in there like The Ponyhead Show?

A Spell with No Name

We think of Star as loud and flashy, but her most powerful spell has been the whispering spell. And her most powerful emotion is one she keeps silent about. So I’m guessing the spell with no name is even more powerful than the whispering spell.

Hmm … what if this is one of those “inside the wand” episodes? I normally would be disappointed with this, since it’s in the 4 slot. But Star doesn’t have a wand now. So whatever the heck “inside the wand” means now would be trippy. Like, we saw a whole new world in Kelly’s World and it was glorious. A whole new “wand” interior? That could be pretty cool.

- - -

A Boy and His DC-700XE

I’m guessing this is a Marco episode with Marco and Nachos. But not in Hekapoo’s dimension. Marco’s like Raphael’s age in that dimension. That’s no “Boy”. So … in some other dimension. Maybe Kelly’s dimension? Or better yet, maybe some random dimension that we’ve never seen. Okay that’d be cool.

The Monster and the Queen

I’m going to go with the obvious guess that this is about Globgor and Eclipsa. But mostly in flashback because there’s no way this episode is showing Globgor being freed. If he were freed, then all heck would break loose in Mewni and there’s no way to be seriously considering:

Cornonation

We already have an official description that Star plans Eclipsa’s coronation. This is a half hour episode, inviting comparisons with Monster Bash. But I’m guessing Tom will be more helpful than he was in Monster Bash, and Kelly will be helping Marco with whatever duty he’s doing this time (maybe the Goblin Dog truck again?).

I had guessed maybe we might see a Starco dance at the prompting of Eclipsa. But … I dunno. That’s probably a stretch.

But there ought to be something more momentous for a half hour episode than just the coronation. Mina raids the party and fights Globgor? No … I don’t think so.

Okay, I’ve got it. Moon shows up and decides to give a speech supporting Eclipsa. Not like a full throated endorsement, but just … something that gets the Mewmans to give her another chance. And after the speech, Moon tells Star that she still doesn’t fully trust Eclipsa, but the good of Mewni comes first.

- - -

Doop-Doop

This sounds like a goofy name for basketball. So I’m guessing this is a Ludo episo…zzz… okay I just don’t care.

Britta’s Tacos

Okay, I’ll go wild with this one … I’m guessing Marco goes to get tacos and runs into Jackie. Lynn. Thomas. It’s been like a year since they’ve seen each other and they’re both a year hotter. They’re both doing great and they really connect and stuff and then Jackie finds out Marco’s dating Kelly. And Jackie’s like, “Dude. What are you doing?”

Beach Day

Okay, so Star’s still dating Tom, and Marco’s still dating Kelly. But here’s the thing. Both Star and Marco are currently happy. Star can be in love with her best friend Marco and still be happy that he’s happy. They can play on the beach and be happy for each other.

Gone Baby Gone

This may be a reference to the film of the same name, where a baby girl has been kidnapped from her irresponsible mother for her own good. Now Eclipsa may be somewhat irresponsible, but she seems to have taking care of Eclipsa covered (and she does have help).

So even though the obvious guess is that Meteora is kidnapped, I think that may be repetitive given Queen-napped. Instead, I’ll guess this is a story about Festivia and Hekapoo. I mean, we’ve already seen what Heinous’s tragic upbringing was like. But I’m guessing Hekapoo was a loving mother and Festivia was happy.

Oh I just can’t help myself:

Hekapoo: Marco, I know you don’t agree with everything I’ve done, but I still am proud of some things.

(Hekapoo points to Festivia’s picture)

Hekapoo: See that? See how happy she looks? She was happy.

Marco: That happiness came at the expense of someone else.

Hekapoo: I know. I mean, my brain knows. But my heart …

- - -

Sad Teen Hotline

The title kind of reminds me of the show-in-show in Steven Universe about Crying Breakfast Friends. So I’m guessing maybe this is a Ponyhead episode. Like, teens call the sad teen hotline and it gets answered by Ponyhead and Seahorse. Okay, that could be funny.

Jannanigans

Another Janna episode? Okay, this is in the 2 slot, so I’m pretty sure it’s going to be just some fun fluff filler.

Mama Star

I don’t know what this is, but it feels like a fakeout title like Marco Jr. Still, it’s in the 3 slot so there could be some significant plot development also.

Ready, Aim, Fire

This seems to be an obtuse title, like “Divide” and “Conquer”. And it’s in the 4 slot. I’m guessing that this is going to involve some serious plot development, but it’s purposefully obscured from us to avoid spoilers.

- - -

The Right Way

Another obtuse title, but I’m kind of feeling Ludo. Like, here would be a good time for Ludo’s story to actually start coming back to where it matters at all to something.

Here to Help

Another obtuse title, but again I’m kind of feeling Ludo.

Pizza Party

I feel like this is going to be one last gathering of all these friends. Kind of like in Honey and Clover when everyone is just hanging out at random, looking for a four leaf clover. And it’s the last time they’d ever all be together and they didn’t know it at the time.

The Tavern at the End of the Multiverse

I’m guessing this is a Hekapoo episode. It may be a reference to The Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (The Restaurant at the End of the Universe in particular). I’m guessing that there’s something dimensional going on which will force Marco to move back to Earth.

- - -

Cleaved

Star gets together with Marco.

[teikokusuffering]

Inazuma Rewatch  Episodes 1-11

This begins my adventure in canon reviewing for Genda to roleplay him on dreamwidth. The thoughts are shotgunned and mostly written as they came to me with no coherent fashion. Also most of these are live reactions that I did in plurk hence the format of them. Also fair warning I do curse so that’s in there too.

Canon reviewing just makes me look up at the sky within the first seven seconds because how did I forget how Try Hard they were in making Teikoku out to be the villain of the show

I will also never be over this fucking tank 

ah Kidou you had dignity for like half an episode After this begins your slow descent into never being dignified ever again oh no I forgot how cute the bitty soccer team Endou plays/practices/coaches is why didn't we get like an arc with them growing up and joining Raimon or such that would have been adorable jesus christ I forgot Gouenji has a sick ass guitar solo bgm when he shows up also I like how none of the teachers in this school are at all phased by endou like how long did it take them to get used to this child being who he is there it is the exact moment Kageyama fucked up he challenged Raimon to a game that was like poking the sleeping dragon you know better then to do that Kageyama you have a history with this school dramatic shadow effect over Teikoku up to like three now where the fuck do all of these tires come from? Endou do you have a dimension to pull those from? I still am in love with the fact the only reason Endou's grandfather's techniques have remained a secret is because of horrible handwritting not due to super fancy code or hidden messages nah bruh he just sucked at writing and explaining himself is all and Someoka with the first "Soccer isn't a game" one liner what weather wizard did Teikoku pay to cause that storm cloud effect as they roll on in with their fucking tank bus part of me is not even shocked anymore over the honor guard, only with soccer balls and not rifles, and red carpet dramatic moment of Teikoku arriving but a part of me is still just Fucks sake Teikoku chill kids you are fooling no one with your "practice" that is straight up showing off on the highest tier there it is the moment Kidou's fate was sealed Endou being Endou despite the fact that shot was a deliberate attempt to hurt Genda's first line in the entire show and it's basically code for "Here Kidou kick their asses I'll hold your earrings" I'm pretty certain there is a mercy rule in soccer like there is in baseball so I know this score is just ridic really oh wait that's right this game will not end until Gouenji shows himself my mistake Oh Max I have missed your blunt destroying of self confidence that you accidentally do trying to be helpful also this entire scene is so disconcerting because it shows that Endou really is knowledgeable about this sport and how to be a captain which flies out the window when he does a Stupid in the name of soccer and I'm just like Endou please god Someoka and his anger issues over Gouenji all this anger in this episode and then the awkward that is Endou and Gouenji before Gouenji just gave in and joined this soccer team meanwhile back on the ranch: Kidou gossips plots and shares intel with Hemni regarding Raimon and what this is causing regarding schools taking notice and basically rents a fifty foot neon covered billboard to tell us that Domon is going to arrive soon how did I ever take these kids seriously they try so hard to be edgy it's ridic 

I have finally reached the episode in this slow as hell canon review to meet the character that deserved so much more then he got 

Domon deserved a better soccer husband then what he settled for he put up with so much both as a double agent and as someone having to suffer constant exposure to a Raimon still learning how to stand on its own ah yes the moment we first really learn just how much of a douche the teacher/coach for Raimon really is Endou's father is still the purest of the adults in this series ...the fucking secret fort is still horrible no matter how I look at it children please that is not how we share secret information /wheezes at how everyone but Gouenji and Domon are shocked at Endou reading the secret notes those two just look so proud I also forgot how up in the personal bubble Kazemaru is regarding Endou in the early season like Kazemaru pls fuck Kidou and his hiding behind lampposts I keep forgetting he does this so much child child please ah the start of the Gouenji Endou friendship is so awkward as Gouenji is still realizing what he has signed himself up to follow Kabeyama tries so hard for this team technique with Gouenji I also keep forgetting Gouenji and his socks that are such a different color from anyone else like who let you do that? Are you one of those types of sports people that have lucky items they have to wear while playing a sport? Kabeyama's fear of heights is so real excuse me as I sit here and laugh brokenly as I remember how naive I was thinking that these episodes right here was the gist of the show despite all of the giant hints they keep doing with Kageyama I want to know how many of those kids collecting data on Raimon were being paid by a different school then they one they actually attended for that data like you can't tell me with how sophisticated that equipment was that they weren't being paid by several schools for that data meanwhile Kidou and Sakuma are just like 'amateurs' considering they legit stalk and have an inside man on the team instead of just filming and observing the practices good christ I forgotten how much Kidou just dunks on the cyborg team over them thinking a computer simulation is good enough to figure out Raimon like bitch please he can't figure them out what makes you think you can? I keep forgetting episode 8 is the start of Endou's leaving the fucking goal open 

episode ten is just full on, no stops at all drama 

when they decided to start the pain train for Kidou they just shot it out like a bullet also goddamn Kageyama just spell it out in fine detail you see these kids as mindless puppets for you to control why don't you god how many horrible backstories can we cram into one episode Inazuma Eleven: Teikoku kids must suffer Don't be related to a Teikoku kid and def don't be a friend of one that way leads to being part of a painful backstory also I repeat Domon deserves so much more look an episode with the one I'm actually canon reviewing for! I best savor this as I won't see him for like ten more episodes after this 

Genda: /standing next to Kidou and has no idea wtf to say that isn't soccer related, praises the rest of the team instead of actually saying anything else. Kidou: /stands silent while intensely gazing into the distance this is it this like forty second conversation is 90% of this social link how they have achieved the "Will die for you" level on the s-link rank is a mystery well okay Genda pretty much had that as level one/two for Kidou because it's Kidou all of Teikoku would die for Kidou because this disaster apparently has a +50 modifier when it comes to Teikoku wait no NOPE NOPENOPENOPE this is the episode where Kageyama basically destroys an already emotionally compromised Kidou even more no #ProtectKidou2018 Kageyama even calls Kidou a "perfect being" not a perfect human being just a being also who the fuck picked this particular piece of music for this scene this is not a nostalgic happy moment anime this is a man brutally destroying a kid's sense of self and self worth in order to keep him in line fuck god the magazine scene is still horrifying to watch as you see that dawning realization that Kidou Made A Mistake when he reacted to Kageyama going for that magazine jesus christ it just hit me how fucking insanely watched and scrutinized Teikoku is just it only now hit me that during the entire talk between Kageyama and that minion Kageyama has multiple screens from various angles all watching the practice fields in real time as the team practices and we know that the team knows this is a thing considering in episode 11 when Kidou decides to create his rebellion with the team he makes sure to plan it in a random hallway and not on the field where someone could watch and listen in on this whole thing

[nvmullaly]

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