#there's a real sense i get from the circles i follow here that you have to be 'all in' with your activism or else your views are worth shit
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postsforposting · 2 days ago
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at the altar
previously i had thought there were only two weddings: the van and the reactor. however. there are four weddings and a funeral. because finding true love is hard, and the support of "friends" is essential. the movie has four "successful" weddings, one aborted wedding, and one funeral. the "successful" weddings all end in divorce. the funeral is for the partner of a gay man, but as this is during 1990s UK, they were not allowed to legally marry. it is explicitly said that they were "as a married couple". this funeral depicts "true love", but it's not "lasting" due to death. the one lasting, successful couple explicitly refuse to get married, and they are the only ones who have a family in the end.
the idea is that a "real wedding" cannot stand in for or replace real love and commitment. every single "real" wedding failed. in a line: beating out death--life after death--gives you forever, and no wedding gives you true love. in two senses: weddings literally don't replace love, and the lack of a wedding is defined as true love.
in dpw, there is no real wedding.
there is one failed funeral, in the reactor when everyone thinks they're dead. being joined in death is the only way to find forever; being joined in life is the only way to find love. to love forever, you must stand under god as one, reach forever by pledging yourselves "to death", and rise again together.
in biblical numerology, four represents stability and "freshness", aka "getting fresh" with each other in the sense of both insults and sex. insults, after all, get personal. character assassination is just a little ribbing joke between friends in this franchise. that's why there's four, and why they trade off roles.
wedding one:
in the movie Four Weddings and Funeral, there are actually five weddings held. the one that isn't counted as a "finished" wedding is where doubts were expressed during the ceremony that the groom loves someone else, and the bride dumps the groom at the altar.
wade dumps wolvie on the floor at paradox's altar after walking down the aisle with him.
paradox refuses to accept wade's proposal.
unlike in FWF, wade dumping wolvie wasn't about rejection. it was giving him a choice about whether he wanted to go through with this--to say "i do". he gets up and follows wade to "hell" of his own volition. for better and worse, right? they're joining at a low point because if you can't take him at his worst, you don't deserve to be his "best friend". this goes for deadpool and "worst" wolvie equally.
the "funeral" in this scene is paradox refusing to halt the death of the universe, insisting that everyone is going die eventually and there's nothing to be done about it. being sent to hell is also a literal death sentence, because no one is supposed to come back: it's forever.
this is an "aborted" wedding and a symbolic death, no funeral. wade pledged first but logan came right after.
wedding two:
the van. they make it to the altar, veil of seatbelts and all, but get driven away. they were dying to get there, too. what a shame.
a bower is both a wedding arch and a shady place under the trees. that's why they stop in the forest. they lay together, but not as one before the altar--no handholding here. they also didn't even get to the removal of the veil.
wedding three:
jumping into the marvel sparkle circle under the eyes of cassandra.
......jumping a "bundle of sticks" to a golden ring in the eyes of god.
while alioth, personification of death, is just a tick too late. not even the threat of death kept them from the altar. they weren't standing as one, together, though, so it's not a proper wedding.
in this one, logan wins the race: he falls first, and harder.
wedding four:
the reactor. down on their knees standing together under god: that's going to church. logan is the bride whose veil gets blown off.
it was supposed to be a funeral. paradox even gave them a eulogy. death did happen, and they thought it would last forever this time. but then they started a new life together, as one: marriage. they even said, repeatedly, "it should be me"-->"i want to be there for you"-->"i do". it could be read as both of them objecting that "you deserve better" while replying "but you're the one i want".
wade got to the altar first. even though it took logan longer to get there, he went at it harder.
this is the only wedding they got the whole way through, with all the necessary bits, and the only funeral. but it also wasn't a real wedding and the funeral didn't stick: that's how you get real forever love with four weddings and a funeral.
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yourlocalsmutwriter · 3 hours ago
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Tell me something awful like you are a lover stuck in the body of a racing guy - Fernando Alonso x reader
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Summary: phone sex drabble with Alonso I wrote on the train.
Pop music blares through your headphones from your guilty pleasure playlist as you're scrubbing a kitchen counter. The blonde singer's words about hating it here couldn't resonate with you more. Living with strangers was bareable. Them being students and not really sticking to a cleaning schedule was to be expected. You'd committed similar sins before. But texting your landlord to fix your water pressure while the state of the kitchen (and honestly, the whole flat) was abysmal wasn't the smartest. You hated confrontation,so it was on you to bring everything up to the guy's standards. One bit of the shared space took you an hour. You were tired. Unemployed. Done. Cold. Just as you were about to follow your astrology app's suggestion of a good cry, you get a WhatsApp notification from your boyfriend, asking you to call him.
"Hey, Fernando. Everything all right?"you say as his face pops on screen.
"Yeah, I just woke up. Figured I wanted to give you a tour of Sin City, but I think you'll have to wait a bit," he trails off.
"What, not feeling like an early bird, huh? Usually, I'd be the one bugging you to stay in bed with me and cuddle more. What's new, hmm?" you ask, curious as to why he's called you out of the blue.
He just grunts and flips the camera. Your eyes take a second to process what you're seeing. And then you focus on the tent in his boxers. As if intent to kill you both on the spot, he adds, "You know, it's your fault. Had a dream about you, and apparently, even fake you has the same effect as the real thing."
You laugh, just a bit.
"Sorry, sorry, love. Just the thought of you getting a morning boner like some teenager is hilarious." Sensing that he's about to hang up and not wanting to deal with it, there's a plan forming. The good cry you were considering a few moments before was going to be turning into a good wank. "Wait. Let me help you. Please?"
Fernando pretends to consider it for a moment. You both know that phone sex is the key to not loosing one's mind during a triple header.
"Fine." He agrees. "But you gotta put on a real show on for me, beautiful. Wanna see you ride your toy like it's me.".
"It is you,". Nando's reaction to your previous dildo was to replace it as soon as possible. You were flabbergasted that he would go through with cloning his willy, as the kit said, just to stake a stupid claim on you. All your annoyance evaporated the first time you used the new toy and came so hard you questioned every other solo orgasm before. You tell your boyfriend you'd be right back as you swiftly disappear to wash the dildo. Thankfully, no one's around to see you. You prop your phone on the edge of the bed, following Nando's example. His hand is already slowly palming his cock. You're about to spread the lube on your hands, when you realize you're still fully clothed.
"Teasing or quickie?" You ask him.
"You know the quote, honey. As much as I wanna watch you touch yourself and suck it first, on a time crunch here. So, clothes off and giddy up, cowgirl." He says.
You spread the lube on the dildo, matching Fernando's pace. God, the visuals of his cock, ready for you but out of reach was driving you crazy.
"You know what to do, baby. Rub your clit like I would touch you. Don't be cutting corners just because I'm not there to guide you on it properly." He adds.
You loved his more commanding side. Before you two had sex for the first time, he wondered why you'd pick someone his age to date. It became glaring obvious during fucking you, the way you melted against his words, how you begged him to be faster, harder, rougher, to not hold back on you. You depended on him to give you just what other partners often missed to do.
You realized that you were spacing out and returned to the task at hand. Circling your clit, once, twice and thrice and already you're wet and ready. You straddle the toy, making sure Fernando gets a premium view of how the plastic cock sinks inside of you slowly.
He groans and tightens his fist, squeezing it against the base.
"Faster, honey. Show me that I taught you how to take it. Ride it for me." He commands, needing to see you fall apart and soon.
You bite your lip and find your rhythm. Usually, when you used the dildo, it was in missionary. This position was making everything so much more intense for you it was as if you were doing it with the real thing. Speeding up, you could feel the toy going deeper, making you clench against it. You let you a quiet moan of Fernando's name, a plea, and a futile action.
"You look so good like this, my love. God, when I come back, I want to taste you as you play with this. Would you like this? To feel my tongue on your clit as you're fucking yourself on my dick, huh? Sound good, no?". Nando's fantasy reminds you of how his hands will be on you soon, how you'll fall apart on his lips, how he'll make sure to have you coming in exotic destinations, away from everything you hate here. This fuels a fire in you and you're thrusting your hips, the toy slick with your wetness.
Your boyfriend's pumping matches your speed, and you can see how he's rubbing down drops of precum down his shaft.
"Tell me when you're about to cum for me, beautiful. Let's do it together." Less than a minute later you're a moaning mess, pussy clenching against the plastic replica of your lover's cock and saying that you're about to finish. Fernando encourages you to go over the edge, to finish you both off like a good girl. And that's exactly what you do. You wish you could take the shot where he angles his cock and cums all over his stomach and have it burned behind your retinas forever. You're both panting and spent and taking a few minutes before starting your actual post-orgasm rituals and clean up.
"I'll call you again in half an hour, okay? Let me know what you wanna see of Vegas, and I'll have my driver pass it. Think I have the time to even walk into some landmarks and get you whatever souvenirs what you want. Plan and let me know. I love you, sweetheart." He says. Underneath the tough exterior and the sometimes arrogant facade was a gentle, wonderful boyfriend. Maybe you didn't really hate it here. And just maybe he was a lover, stuck in the body of a racing guy.
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otsukare-katsukare · 9 months ago
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i have something very personal and ugly and probably incoherent that i need to get off my chest about israel. to preface im not a zionist, i am jewish and disgusted by israel on a daily basis, and this is me mostly speaking from that. i am sorry and if anyone who follows me doesn't want to read this from me/hates it i ask that you just scroll on by and forget it. and if you do read it and respond im happy to talk but just please take it in good faith. in reponse to this post
#it's not black and white. maybe in purely theoretical moral dilemma terms it seems that way. but not in reality.#what do you do with an israel that should not exist on principle but does? it does and the people in it have been there for generations now#and it's jewish. this DOES complicate things and i wish people would stop pretending it doesn't.#it makes everything literally everything so. fucking. complicated.#cause you end up with this implicit ultimatum: side with hamas or be a zionist. what other options are there under this world view#if you only think israel should stop mass murdering palestinians but speak in favour of 2 state solution or talk about 'right to exist'#are you saying you're fine with everything else; the occupation was justified just not outright genocide?#it always has to go back to the ideological origin of zionism which means a call to abolish the state of israel entirely.#and in parallel if you talk of atrocities on 7 october or terrorists this takes away from the palestinian struggle right#because hamas are the armed resistance to israel and to call for their condemnation to withdraw support from the unrwa#is to renounce solidarity with the palestinian cause in any way that matters. do you really care if you deny them the right to resist?#but here's the other side. you just cannot ask this of jews. maybe some jews but the vast majority? telling them they need#to essentially throw their support behind an organisation that hates their existence?#hamas ARE antisemitic. the houthis are antisemitic#it's a different kind of antisemitism to the white/aryan supremacist kind. it's complex and it comes with an actual weight of grievances#but it's still antisemitism. the future desired by the resistance is not kind to jews certainly not in palestine and realistically#not anywhere else either. islamophobia and antisemitism have both seen huge upticks since 7 october. do you think it's just#nazis and far right bigots enjoying free reign? no. there is a real inter ethnic inter religious hatred here. you can't just wish it away#there's a real sense i get from the circles i follow here that you have to be 'all in' with your activism or else your views are worth shit#but then i guess it's okay if your wholehearted antizionist rhetoric is just a bit antisemtic as well or supports those who are#so yeah actually for jews this is not an easy solution. at least for this jew it is not. the only uncomplicated thing for me#s seeing what israel does and calling it a crime against humanity and demanding an immediate ceasefire#talking unreservedly about the evil that israel has committed against palestinians for decades#i wish it was as uncomplicated as going from that to saying israel needs to disappear completely. but im jewish and i have a jewish family.#i cant boycott my father like a problematic celebrity for getting upset when i said israel should never have been established at all#i cant sit in judgment of every jew who feels some personal connection to israel when i'm 2 degrees removed from victims of 7 october#anyway. me personally i fucking loathe israel. not Just Its Government i hate the mocking cruelty of its army and many people in it#and also for how it is tied up with jewish identity despite me wanting no part of it. whether i like it or not.
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rosenclaws · 17 days ago
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ok, ok “suck on my fingers.” and “don’t make a mess, baby.” prompt with the worse wolverine? btw i love your words!!!
warnings: SMUT, MINORS DNI, squirting, fingering, dirty talk, overstimulation, cum eating (kinda? i think thats whats this called idk he just sticks his fingers in ur mouth after fingering)
600 follower drabble masterlist
a/n: I'm gonna be so real I am coping hard rn. I am devastated and worried for the future but if writing wolverine smut is what helps that is what I shall do. I hope you like it!!
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How long has it been? Minutes? Hours? Fuck at this point you'd believe that you've been here for days. Wrapped in his arms. Trapped under his adamantium bone and super human strength. The sheets slip through your fingers as your grip grows weaker. Logan has been teasing you, playing with you like a piece of meat.
Logan is upright against the headboard. He’s got your back against his chest. One of strong arms is keeping you upright. Forcing you to sit there. His other hand is shoved into your panties. He didn’t even bother to take them off.
There’s something playing on the TV in your room but you lost any sense of your surroundings about an hour ago. Logan likes to play with his food. Always has.
Your big hot boyfriend loves to make a mess of things before he eats.
“Oh Fuck Logannnn.” You whine as he slips two of his fingers into your already soaked cunt.
Your panties are soaked from Logan’s touch. He won’t even bother taking them off. He likes the obscene sight of his hands down them. Loves seeing his fingers disappear and watch your cute face scrunch up in pleasure.
You’re trying with all your might to squirm away. Not that you wanted him to stop but the pleasure was overwhelming. Your body was moving without your brain at this point. Pure instinct. Logan growls in your ear. Shoving another finger inside to shut you up.
“Quiet. I’m not done with you yet.” You tilt your neck to the side as Logan’s rough thumb starts to circle your clit harshly.
The sounds of your pleasure are loud and Logan is unashamedly eating them up. His fingers movie faster and faster. Pounding into you with a force that makes you scream. Your dripping down his hands and onto the sheets. Logan tuts and shakes his head mockingly.
“Don’t make a mess baby.” He scolds as he drives his fucking fingers deep inside of you. Fucking liar. He loves when you make a mess. Nothing boosts his ego more.
He feels so good. His fingers are tearing you apart. He’s hell bent on making you come harder than you ever have. He can never get enough. It's like a competition with himself. Making sure you know only he can do this to you over and over. A pressure builds deep in your core and your eyes widen when you feel a certain feeling.
“Logan wait I-“ Your pleas are silenced as another moan rips through your throat.
You chant his name over and over as your legs start to shake. Logan watches in awe as you squirt all over the bed. He doesn't let up as he pulls as much as he can. You're moaning only pushes him further. He's whispering dirty things in your ear but you can barely hear him. Your body is screaming in pure pleasure and its all you can hear.
"Too much." You manage to whimper out as Logan continues to fuck his fingers into you.
He hums and in a moment of mercy decides you've had enough for tonight. Such a good pet. His fingers are coated. He pulls them apart and smirks as he brings them to your lips.
“Come on, suck on my fingers." He coos as you lazily open your mouth. Your perfect pretty lips surrounding his fingers, sucking your own juices from his fingers.
"Taste yourself, see why I can't get enough of this delicious cunt." His eyes grow dark as he watches your lips take his fingers so easily. You look up with glossy eyes. Completely fucked out because of him.
"Cute." He presses a kiss to your forehead and pulls you closer. His fingers slip out of your mouth and he dips back down into your soaked underwear. You whine when he gently brushes over your sensitive clit.
"Shhh sweetheart," His moves are softer this time, gentle.
"Just relax. Let me get my taste too."
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gangplanksorenji · 2 months ago
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Pulchritude
Pairing: ITZY’s Yeji x Male Reader
Word Count: 7,089
A/N: It's been a while Orenjideul! This wasn't planned to be on my draft schedule but planned at the same time LOL (pretty much quickly written). Also, thanks for @mintwithchoco for the beta-reading that made the insights about the fic!!
This was originally part of something I've been working on with and expanded it with such vague plot to probably spice things up. Enjoy reading!! <3
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“You’re crazy for this one, Chaewon.”
“It’s not my doing—” Chaewon retorts, circling her fingers onto the rim of her glass with such a distinctive smell of a concoction that piques you, distracting you a little from her words. “—this is just a part of a test.”
She drinks from her glass and darts her eyes towards you, laced with anticipation and that hint of doubt in you. You smirk with her given stare, feeling that she's getting ahead of herself with it and she’ll soon eat up her words. Extending your arm a little onto the head of the chair, you look at her with vanity and such a playful intent that intimidates her a little. “I’d say you being here is somewhat helpful by all means…”
“And why is that?” 
Her eyes never fail to intimidate you, those orbs glowing in anticipation as she doesn't break her sophisticated demeanor. You fix your posture and lean closer to her, elbows on the table and your hands subtly clasped, answering her. “So I could let you know that you’ll be embarrassed at the end of the day.”
Chaewon’s hubris wouldn’t let your words slide and make her believe you, a chortle audible within your ears as she shifted onto her usual phlegmatic disposition. “We’ll see about that but for now—” Her well-manicured nails click the champagne glass two times, before giving a sly smile of a faulty sincerity. “—you gotta do what you gotta do.”
It wouldn’t end in a usual Chaewon fashion unless her drink is empty, sipping the last few milliliters of that delectable concoction, then getting off on her seat with her last words of the night. “Text me when you’ve done it, then we'll meet tomorrow afternoon.”
Grabbing her designer bag then leaving towards the doors of such a high-class bar, you could just sense the air reeking defeat all over you, but you’ll prove her wrong. You’ll just thank yourself for getting rid of her condescending nature albeit it really fuels your aim for victory, so is the upbeat music the bar brings. 
You’ll make things work and take that triumphant ecstasy up to your name, with someone’s panties on the floor. 
“I guess we need the devil inside me to take over.” Of course you will, and you’ll do that just about right.
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Maybe the myths are true: sometimes, the devil does unspeakable things and it’s only a matter of time before it unveils its real nature. Not exactly an excerpt, a quote or the sayings of the elderly but mostly your own common conscience that has its own intersections of roads you can’t fathom nor follow—deep inside, you’re on a leash and Chaewon’s words intoxicates you, and you’ll prove her wrong after this. 
“We’re going to have some fun tonight.”
“Oh, do you think we will?” You ask pretty playfully and audaciously, playing with her possible games. You barely know her aside from being that time where you’d constantly steal glances with her during and after Chaewon’s existence at the bar and subconsciously know you’d always come. At that moment, you know something’s disturbed within you and it’s in a good way—this is something that’s completely going to serve gratification, and you can sense how strong your gut feeling is.
“We will.” The girl inches herself closer towards you, your back pressed against the cold concrete as she pins you with her frame, fidgeting her fingers onto the hem of your shirt and then the penultimate, such dexterous fingers circling around your chest.
You feel her minty breath mixed with a hint of tequila brush against your skin as you raise her head, eyes in contact with yours—you know she’s proving something, even just with her words but those wouldn’t be enough.
“Care for an introduction?” Your hands fancy its way onto her waist, as you endearingly looked at those sharp, monolid eyes of hers rivaling that alluring stare. 
Her eyes dart between your face and onto your body, as her voice speaks up in a volume.“Yeji. You can call me Yeji.” 
Her voice invites you, and you’re captivated with her sultry tone and god, that stare of hers would make any man fall upon your own judgment but on your shoes, it would bear such a challenge. Even with such temptation handled pretty well, you can’t help but hint such an invitation under her spell—those eyes, her sultry voice, such a beautiful face and the promised treasure of them all, her impeccable figure.
You’d like to start on something fresh, induce such a new chapter that’s bound to end up in such an incredible fashion but you could only assume those things, yet.
Well, you won’t fight yourself over some idiotic retaliation between your temptations and let yourself be the judge of her capabilities and this doesn’t help when she’s just inches away from laying such a mark that will define one’s lust.
Looking straight to the abyssal void of her eyes, you’re enticed as you lift off her chin with your finger. “There you go, I love a woman with manners.” You hit her up with her own medicine: tempting.
“Who says anything about manners?” Even such chagrins or predicaments wouldn’t stop her, not unless you tell her so as the only thing you could feel are those luscious lips locked against yours. 
The sounds of such muscle creating vacuum of sounds and suctions overpowers the fading noise of the music the bar resonates—all you can hear is her kisses up against yours and you’d love to listen to it all day. 
Nothing too short nor sweet, but god, this was enough to make such a bold verdict.
“A talented kisser, hm?” Yeji hums as she pulls away from your lips’ embrace, feeling captivated with the way you display such talent.
“A girl as pretty as you would make a man like this.” Your hands then freely roam to the limited skin her waist shows but you’re not the guy to complain, but to be grateful. “Now tell me something, Yeji…”
Yeji’s eyes widen; pupils dilate as she anticipates your next words, “Tell what?”
You smirk, as your buttons were pressed enough to make such a bold move. “Why would you want me? From all of the people there, why me?”
Yeji smirks just like you, then bites her lips, using such a modicum of her actions to indulge you even more. “I just know the world destined us to this moment—led us to this moment and god…” Yeji’s hands unbuttons the topmost button of your shirt as her hands permeate such heat onto your chest to push you onto the edge. “I know what you’re gonna give to me tonight.”
Such telepathic abilities enable you to read her thoughts, and you know exactly where she’s going towards, “Let me guess, a show for the world to know?”
“For the world to fucking know.” Yeji’s words end your sentence, and seal the deal.
Licking her lips in delight, you can feel her hands roam on your chest, your abdomen then the final stop, your growing bulge. She cups onto it like it’s something she would ruin and take care of, the best of both worlds as you let out such a nigh-inaudible moan, and Yeji knows exactly you’re liking this.
“You always need to ask.” And there she goes with her wonders.
All you can see is Yeji promptly getting on her knees, and with her absolute dexterity, does her talent to unbuckle and undress your bottom half more than a count to ten.
“God…” She’s mesmerized with the view she’s currently having: you, still in your boxers as her disposition clearly displays awe and amazement. “You’re hard already this fast? Must’ve turned you on too much?”
“Who wouldn’t with a girl like you?” It just shows your evident arousal, and Yeji’s grateful to bear such an entrance. Giving the green light, she then slowly strips off your boxers down to your ankles, mostly gravity doing the work and there she goes, such eyes gleaming with utter hunger and lust.
Her lips mouth such words full of awe as her hands cups the base of your erection, leisurely stroking it as she utters such profanity, “God, your cock is something else I didn’t expect.”
Your hubris just elevated, and let your commanding demeanor take over. “Glad it is. Now, show me what you’re made of.”
She wouldn’t lose against such a hubristic battle, and settles up for a possibly stellar moment. “I won’t disappoint.”
A clear view of her lips sends pecs around your length, letting you know the immediate worshiping and carnal needs fueling her for the time being. From the base up to your already leaking slit, she didn’t waste such precious time letting you know how much she loves this and it's just evident from the start. 
She grows impatient with her repetitive kisses and ups the ante, knowing how this will make your world go wild. “I may just find myself occupied more with this.”
“Less talking and more sucking.” As much as her patience grows thinner by the second, and so are yours. She scoffs off a giggle, knowing that the main event will be such a roller coaster ride.
With the last suction of her lips collecting that colorless liquid, she advances onto something pleasurable. Her tongue then dances around your red cockhead, swirling and permeating her saliva around, upping such sensitivity on your end and with that result, you shiver and inevitably moan in response.
She suckles on your swollen head, then advances past your frenulum to do the wonder she does to your slit and god, this was elevating the experience of such gratification.
“God, s-such a talented mouth, huh?”
“Gifted, I guess.” She continues her oral assault on your throbbing length, thrusting her head up and down as she quickly accelerates the pace up to both your likings. 
The quicker speed sums up the possible experience she has and it shows—such technique is unmatched with the way her tongue dances around your shaft and the little introduction of such a serrated culprit antagonizing the pleasure you’re experiencing, albeit, you wouldn’t bother with such little pain. She takes more than half of your shaft as spits dominate her heart-shaped lips, running down to her cheeks and onto her chin which shows the passion she’s giving in every second.
The occurrence won’t be complete without elevated stimulation: you’d just feel your balls being fondled by her right hand as she encourages more for you to feel. 
And it’s working well, too well for you to utter such compliments. “You’d make myself occupied too, i-if you want—shit, that’s great…”
An audible mhmm can be heard between her bobs as she elevated the speed, then resulting into such a mess that’s just turning you on even more. Saliva continues to drip down onto her chin and onto your clothes that’s probably damned to be given care with, tears flowing down her cheek as she takes more and suddenly, she tests her limits with a single act of boldness and bravery.
She rests her nose onto your abdomen, testing her gag reflex as she’s determined to tame it but in the end, it wasn’t in her favor. Gasps escape her mouth as she catches her breath, saliva connected onto those sinful lips was just the cherry on top yet your grow little concern, afraid she may push herself too much as soon as she coughed. “You good, Yeji?”
“I’m good—I’m good, I’m g-great—your cock is just addicting.” The succulence was evident with her repeated slurps onto your shaft, and you’re just in total bliss with her performance.
Things are not done, and she’d like to end the business with a good note.
She proved herself enough and with her immediate harsh pace, you wouldn’t be a hypocrite nor lie about it. The blurry orange-bobbing head of hers just becomes a repeated image tarnished in your brain, etched until the end of time. She continues what she’s best at, gripping your thighs for further display of talent and as a reply with the surging pleasure coursing through your veins, you opted to fight the leverage with the gripping of your hands onto her audacious head.
Constant slurps, gags and moans just became the music in the air and it’s just the paramount mood you're indulged into. You’d be damned if someone will see the both of you in such a sinful act but you don’t care anymore, not when Yeji’s mouth does explicit wonders on every inch of your body and clouding your mind with such sinful thoughts.
The head game is literally onto another level of experience, but such things wouldn’t last for so long.
She can feel your persistent throbs in her mouth, and it’s a common courtesy to ask where it will end. “You’re pretty close, I assume.”
“Yeah—” You groan in pleasure as she strokes your saliva-sheathed cock with the utmost pace her hands can muster. “—and I want it all over your face.”
Yeji just smiled mischievously, knowing how things will end up on a pivotal climax and how things will unveil between the both of you. “Then do it—cover me.”
All you can see are those pretty, sharp eyes in awe as she closes it, her visage in full display for you to paint on. This is a canvas worth investing such artwork on  and you’d besmirch it with such strokes worth millions. She moans as she feels each rope touches her face, mostly her cheeks, nose, lips, chin and some even getting onto her hair. Those fifteen seconds felt like a minute as you’re in a total state of bliss and for such a conclusion, she strokes you in hopes of milking you dry, emptying up your reservoir.
“God, that tasted great.” Yeji licks her lips and hums in satisfaction and when your senses are coming back to life, you ask her with such doubt.
“How would you clean up?”
Yeji chuckles as she stands up, facing you, “No one wouldn’t care.”
You smile sincerely as you dress your bottom-half up, satisfied as her voice invites you. “Let’s get out of here.”
She’s partly a monster; partly an angel in disguise, yet she can be the best of both worlds and it’s only a matter of time before depths will be reached.
---
Gone are the boisterous music ringing repeatedly in your ears and the alcohol that will probably dominate your body, because at this time, there’s nothing better than her lips locked against yours for the second time.
She feels ruthless and so were you, feeling her tongue dancing against yours and you gripping her waist harshly as you deepen such entanglement.
Her room was something pivotal about your already impeding arousal: dim lights, vanilla-scented air freshener and such a balcony for the both of you to enjoy, and maybe it’s something else than what’s usually known for people to do there.
“Never knew you could have such a room, Yeji.”
Yeji smirks as her nails dug into your skin gently, pressing it playfully as she mouthed her own pride. “This is nothing compared to anything you’ll see but for now, you’ll be more than my guest.” And then her eyes locked up against yours as those orbs wandered around your beautiful face.
Her eyes really tell you about her adoration, as the earlier test was just the tip of the iceberg, and guess what, you passed with flying colors.
“I’d love to be one, Yeji.”
You then share another torrid kiss with her, feeling attached to her ultimately and falling under her spell. She kisses you genuinely as you reciprocate, but you want more, so you pull out of her lips’ embrace, earning a moan from her as you find your way on peppering her neck with pecs and those sharp collar bones. 
You’d eventually take a glance of her flawless features, even though it’s evident ruined by you earlier but it’s such an important element of such undying beauty. You earned your minuscule rewards—her faint moans and chants calling you—and you’d love to double it, with more skin, your lips parts and marks.
“God, please—fuck…” Yeji’s pleas are audible enough for you to be distracted and it’s worth your while knowing it’s something that could elevate such an experience.
“Please what, Yeji?” You continue pecking her creamy, porcelain skin, suckling on it but not enough to result in hickeys and god, it just resulted in sexier moans escaping her lips. 
She’s struggling to articulate words that can formulate her wants, but she’d put up an end to such a clouding demise. “I want more—god—more, please…”
You grip her waist harsher, gaining such control as you pin her harder onto the wall and what a poor soul whimpering upon your own dominative assertion. You grant her needs as you caress her waist while peppering her with torrid kisses, resulting in such a cacophonous symphony that you would cherish hearing every second. 
You wanted more from her and her answer still made your satisfaction resting onto a low zero. “What do you want from me, baby?”
The word elicits a gasp from her mouth, feeling appalled with such a name she always finds hot and funnily enough, the stars are aligning. 
She whimpers but manages to think clearly and didn’t hesitate to be vocal about it, “Your cock, please—” 
As she’s about to advance her hands onto your clothes crotch, you stop her as you shake your head leisurely, having another plan in mind. “No—have some patience and also…” Yeji’s eyes scintillate beneath the dim light that appears as she’s anticipating what words could leave your mouth. “I gotta return the favor.” 
Your hands roamed its way onto the hem of her tight skirt, and asked such a question she can’t deny. “May I?”
She hitched a broken breath and gulped as she responded intimately, “Yes—yes, you can.”
Your fingers ran towards the edge of her skirt and eventually found the zipper and did such wonders, things that could easily soothe her and make her more comfortable. As much as you wanted to see it down on the floor, revealing her probably wet panties, you have other thoughts about your own, selfish arousal.
“Don’t want it on the floor?”
“This outfit, Yeji—” Your left hand then forced her figure pressed onto yours as she yelped with your immediate action, earning a startled whimper as her eyes looked at you like it’s her favorite candy. She loves your subtle harsh acts, and she won’t be deprived of any since this was just a gentle introduction. “—looks amazing on you.”
Yeji smiles as the compliment strokes her ego and how genuine you sounded, “Thanks, for—ooh, gosh!”
She yelped with your touch permeating on her legs as you roamed your hands towards her clothed regions which earned such a sultry, needy moan from Yeji. You can feel the heat that’s rivaling your cold hands and as the cherry on top, her wetness evident from her slit which is probably leaking right from the start.
You loosen up the zip of her skirt and god, she vocalizes how better it felt and maybe it’s mostly because of the fact that your fingers are pleasuring her crotch against that fine silk that’s about to be ruined thanks to your dexterity. It was pursuant to her and wherever she wants it, you’re going to follow it and with her subsequent moans, you’d like to let her know that your skills are up to par. Feeling the hunger running down your body, you can’t help but share another kiss, but this time, it feels chaste since all of the attention and unfeigned emotions are translated down with your fingers. They both felt like deprived lions from the wild, and such an inevitable kiss will bound to feed the pleasure the both of you are needing.
The evident bulge pokes down on your pants and Yeji was quick to notice that, cupping it and caressing to tame the beast. You moaned with her actions and so she is, too, but it's a repeated chant in your ears as she pleads with you for your own comfort. “Your cock, please.”
You didn’t care anymore, and knowing how the both of you wanted this then you wouldn’t deny her for doing the same thing you’re great at. Even with pleasure lingering onto every lobe in her brain, it won’t stop her to claim her promised prize as you help her undress your bottom-half, unbuckling your belt as she does the last step and all you can feel are your defenses going down, one by one as the raging beast that’s inside that clothed prison is about to be unshackled. 
The wait was worth it and the both of you are now in such a vulnerable state that a single touch would make a writhe or shiver as sensitivity is the culprit. Yeji’s fingers are on point and dexterous as expected—the way she danced her hands around your shaft, stroking it in a corkscrew motion is making you feel such bliss that’s unmatched and god, the scene is just hot.
You never thought the sight of the both of you masturbating would be so damn arousing and thought it was just some myth but yet again, hypocrisy is eliminated within the time being.
“God—you really can’t wait, huh?” 
“How can I? We need to mutually feel the same.” Yeji knows her pursuit against your aching beast wasn’t going to bother you, but rather the opposite. Her strokes were going livid as you groan with the lack of lubrication but it was exchanged by the pleasure that she gives you and of course, you wouldn’t lose onto this game and did the same, possibly vibrating your fingers and you maintain such an up and down motion which inevitably elicits such visceral moan from her.
The both of you did your best with your own expertise, doing such sinful things without even the main event is honestly criminal, and you would hold onto that because you want to make use of this and you’d prove to her you’re as good as she is.
“You’re fucking dripping, Yeji—god, did I turn you on so much?” Possibly a rhetorical question or maybe not, but either way, you know she’ll be a little irritated enough to defend her claim and quit such hypocrisy.
“N-No shit—you’re that talented too, huh?” You smile with her inadvertent compliment as you avert your eyes through her clothed crotch and it’s being ruined with her own doing, leaving such a masterpiece of clothing worthless, spoiled with her own juices.
“A natural, more likely—ah!” You yelp with Yeji’s sudden squeeze of your shaft in between her strokes as you glare at her playfully, her face then forming such a seductive smirk then a little scoff with your confidence. 
“You’re cocky too? God, you’re such a rare gem.”
A rare find, you suppose which is truly the truth—you’ll prove to her that there’s no one she can find that will be better than you. Your impatience is growing thinner by the second even with such a hot mess between both your crotches, and you’d let her know about your frustrations and needs.
“Yeji, I need to fuck you now.”
The tone is commanding, your face stern and her eyes widen with those simple words of need. Your eyes meet hers and they never lie—those glowing orbs of yours didn’t cease the exhilaration you’re feeling and she’s the one to blame. 
As much as it hurts for the both of you to stop, it will be rewarding once the climax settles in for such a spectacular show.
“How would you want me?” Yeji’s voice was bubbly but still hinting at that lace of seduction, being the alluring vixen that she is. 
“Strip that skirt, lay onto your stomach, and lastly, feet onto the floor.”
She is as thrilled as you are, and immediately puts up a show but doesn't go further without a question for such clarification, “Don’t you wanna see me naked?”
You would want to, but not now.
“Just the skirt, please. Everything else, on.” Commanding and straight to the point, just how you wanted all along. 
There were no complaints or the fact she’s abstaining from this command of yours, and in fact, it maybe even made it hotter. The way she’s seductively teasing and pulling her zipper until gravity does the job, it’s just a sight to behold and the final product left you in awe: the ruined black silk panties in such alongside the scribbled pattern of her stocking that just made the sight sizzle it complete heat that she emanates (figuratively).
“Like what you see?” She turns around then again, showing you her perfect figure all with your eyes to feast on as you were a step away from your final prize.
“Yes, now please turn around and lay on your stomach like I said.”
Your imperative nature sets herself in a position of reluctance but then shifts onto an immediate opposite. She does what she was told and wiggles her ass leisurely to invite you with a temptation to ruin her and even though if she won’t be vocal about it, you'd make it so that she won't be able to walk until the next day.
Yeji looks back onto her shoulder and lets out such profanity words, “Make a mess out of me—I don’t break easily.”
You won’t be convinced until you try it yourself but looking at her robustness and skills earlier, you might have to be biased with your judgment. “We’ll see about that.”
Completely kicking your garments to god knows where, you’re now in a better state of control as you tease her wet folds, earning a whimper that becomes uncontrollable as soon as you sink your finger against her raging heat. 
You can’t wait no more, you absolutely can’t because you’re dying to know what she feels like and with her last bit of defense out of your way, it’s time to do the unthinkable.
Now parting her supple legs with your hands, your eyes feast on her impeccable figure then onto that delicious cunt that’s making you drool. Unable to contain your enjoyment and your fantasies against her, you caught her by surprise with an unexpected twist—probably the twist that you’re involved in would be your tongue lathering her folds and tasting the escaping nectar that she produces.
It was succulent and you dived in it easily as the musky, floral scent of her tight cunt invites you, and you didn’t waste time as this was a golden opportunity. You wanted to tease her just for the sake of stimulation, playing a game with her ramping orgasm building up but you’d reckon the opposite and such pace ensued impatiently.
“Fuck! Such a t-talented mouth—fuck!” Yeji’s whines were coherent enough for you to increase the pace and double your efforts—you wish to let her reach her denied climax earlier with your fingers and your mouth. It wasn’t far off as you can feel her juices forming a rivulet onto her labia and spreading onto your chin and mouth, knowing how incredibly close she can be. She calls you repeatedly, gripping the sheets tight enough to rip it but it can’t and you eat her out with an effort that no one can rival.
A single wail is what it took before she screams, and there goes your long-chased win within a second away—
“I’m going to cum—” Surprisingly short and articulate, you let her give everything she has and there she goes—
Yeji’s orgasm comes in quickly as soon as she mutters those desperate words, and she immediately lays waste as she constantly spews liquid after liquid onto her sheets which instantly gets ruined. The both of you didn’t care about it but rather mind your own business while you still extended her climax, achieving such heights of her vocals.
“God—just fuck m-me now, please…”
Your cock is aching and throbbing in need, and with the penultimate action making her see such stars, it’s time for the last and the main event to take place.
You ask her if she’s in good condition and she didn’t bother to assure you, so with her green light, you stepped onto the throttle and gave in to your deepest, carnal desires.
Standing up, you then give her backside a last look before you plunge your length inside her wet hole and immediately groan with its tightness, feeling like her walls are gripping your shaft with a Herculean effort that probably was the blessing in disguise. 
“You’re fucking tight, Yeji—this feels just right.” And it is too right to be true, and you love it.
“Stretch me out—fuck, you’re crazy.”
Lust ignites you and it serves such an everlasting fuel for what’s bound to happen, and you give in just like that. You started off slow, letting her get accustomed to your length as you bury the entirety of your shaft then withdraw with just the tip inside, showing such penetration that could make any girl’s mind go haywire.
It’s starting to get to her slowly in every thrust you do—the utter pleasure your cock brings was phenomenal and with her small whines could determine how she’s really feeling deep inside. She grips onto the bedsheets like her life depends on it and it’s only going to get better once you manage such a pace that will make her think of you and you only.
Her cunt tightens once you spanked that pristine skin of hers and then called out to let her know something, “I’ll own this cunt until you see the stars above, do you understand?”
Between her wails of pleasure is her ephemeral nod with your question, unable to speak up due to the stimulation that’s coursing through her. Every stroke you do causes such slaps that adds to the orchestra of her moans that can be possibly heard outside as her room is too puny to shackle such sinful sounds of sex. You grip her hips harshly and increase your pace, making you moan on how she clenches her velvety walls once your length hits it balls-deep inside her.
“Want me to be rough, Yeji?” You hammer your hips in a velocity that’s making her brain in shambles, unable to mutter a response after a second in which you didn’t like.
A small punishment would do the job, but this is rewarding for her and a statement by yours. “I asked you a question, didn’t I?”
Her breaths are ragged between your thrusts as she cries with your immediate barrage of spanks, causing her to finally answer you even with her mind unable to achieve such clear articulacy. “Yes, p-please—I want it, ow!”
Another spank onto those pristine skin of hers never fails to make you throb with how it jiggled with such harshness, and the marks that’s finally imprinted on the soft skin tells such roughness. As she grows accustomed with your length due to her repeated chants of pleasure, you quickly opted for what could raise such an experience.
If her mind is ultimately clouded with you and can’t think straight, then you’re the opposite, clearly adapting to the situation.
“Yeji…”
“Wha—ooh! Mffh—mmh!” Ragged breaths leave her mouth as she struggles to breath with what you’ve done—you opted for a leverage that asserts your domination over her making the long, black lace at the back of her neck deemed as a leash rather than an aesthetic of her outfit. She probably liked the fact of such risking playing between life and death thanks to the asphyxiation and it didn’t stop you, but rather prove a point. 
“You like being choked and used, slut?” Your words just made Yeji elicit more moans as she’s being tamed, controlled by you and god, the way she’s creaming against your rapidly ramming length tells you about her satisfaction. The sheets will probably rip off no matter how durable they are and lastly, it will be soaked with her own juices and that’s thanks to your own doing. Her feet then raise up in the air as you give a better angle of penetration, switching between the black lace and onto her legs for leverage.
Even though she's barely stripped from her clothing, her clothes really compliments her figure and you’d like to take this mental picture and etch it on the deepest parts of your brain—something worth remembering until the end of time. The way that she's a disheveled, ruined mess right now just fuels you to break her in half and you’re not going to stop until you’ve fulfilled such destiny.
You wanted your hands to be occupied onto something and not being idle most of the time and with such a completely ruined mess of a girl she is now, you’d love to add more of it. You then grab her wrists and command her to arch her back, in which she complies and immediately, your hands reach onto those perky breasts of hers with the clothing still in the way. You caress them and Yeji can vouch she could feel such intensity even with such stellar clothing being a nuisance but there’s nothing to worry about, not when you’re giving her absolutely everything to feel.
You didn’t stop there as you leaned your frame closer to her while hammering her tight cunt repeatedly and utter the words, “This cunt is mine now, Yeji.”
She nodded and exclaimed a faint yes as you gave her pecs onto her shoulders, letting her know how much you love every single inch of hers and how you’re marking your own territory. Between your kisses is a feeling that something’s building up and you can feel it with the way her walls pulsate around your shaft—you know she's close and it’s up for you to let her wants prevail.
There wasn’t any choice and you love to see Yeji writhe as you give her such thrusts before her cardinal end. 
“I know you’re dying to cum—” You invite her to give in as she moans with your words, urging such a release that could let her see the things you wanted her to have a sight of. “—so cum on this cock. Cum for me.”
Your words act like a lever that opens up her reservoir and it feels like a tsunami surging around your length. With multiple cries to spare, you wanted to make her feel something exquisite while achieving her own orgasm, letting you finger avert her chin facing you, against her shoulder as you kissed her lips intimately. Time felt slow as the both of you locked lips and to ride off her high, you slowed down because you still wanted her to feel such intense gratification through her awaited climax.
“I n-never felt that good in my entire life.” Yeji’s breaths were jagged, as she recovers from her orgasm even with your lengthy still penetrating and possibly destroying her insides. Even with a possibly mind-fucked Yeji, she knew what you wanted all along and didn’t hesitate to ask you about it. “Aren’t you close?”
“Well, if you didn’t cum, I would’ve come first.”
An audible gasp resonated in your ears as it piqued her willingness to help you, and it was evident in her tone. “I could feel it too—just fuck me silly again and just cum.”
She recovered fast because of the evident change of her tone, and you, still a bit puzzled and hesitant knowing she may want a load deep inside her. “Don’t want it inside—”
“Then do it in my mouth—you fucking which hole is now your choice.”
Her invitation is just persuasive and alluring and it never fails you to fall a victim for. Knowing how she wanted it, as much as you wanna bother such another session being between her legs, you’d want to fulfill her wants and it’s safer with the help of a great oral ending.
“On your knees then, and open your mouth. I’m going to fuck your face.” You let her position and prepare herself for what's about to come as surprisingly, her legs are still working fine after all of the havoc you’ve brought into her.
Yeji closes her eyes, her mouth agape, ready for the taking as you stroke your length in its absolute vigor and there she goes, taking you again for the second time. This time, you take control by grabbing her ponytail that’s shockingly intact even with the ruckus you made her be in earlier. She’s taking you like a good girl as you ram into her face with abandon, skin slapping signaling the constant harshness you bring and it is perfect. She gagged and you didn’t care, yet she managed to tame it but wasn’t successful as always—you praised her attempts and wasn’t close to being futile. Her nails dug into the skin of your thighs as she let it be the leverage onto your constant rummage in her throat, and she welcomed every thrust with a gleeful demeanor, locking her gaze towards you.
She cries, tears running down her cheek as she was a disheveled mess and you’re proud of what you’ve done. You could feel the familiar sensation tingling near your stomach and a better way to end such a monumental note is giving everything you can. 
The unstoppable force meets the immovable object, as such velocity is unparalleled, hammering her tight throat like it’s her cunt and within seconds from her last gag you could feel everything coming down to this moment. Here it goes: Yeji chokes yet manages to keep your length all the way in, you groaning and calling her name like a chant and of course, the awaited climax that filled her throat up to the brim. You stayed for five more seconds, burying your length as her arms writhe with her repeated gags and then, pulls out immediately, strings of saliva adding to the mess she is and of course, the image of Yeji almost choking out your load but manages to compose herself to swallow it all, humming gleefully as she not get to taste the entirety of your delicious load.
“Like I said—it’s fucking delicious—hah.” The both of you caught your own breaths yet Yeji shows the struggle evidently. Still on her knees, she managed to show what you’ve done as your reward and the last thing you just saw her go is gulp down all of it in one go, into her stomach. She initiated the last dance with her hands grabbing your shaft, then directing it onto her mouth in order to clean the mess she made onto it. You groan with the sensitive surge she brings you, thankfully her tongue doing the work but you don't complain as within seconds, she ends her oral assault and it makes you feel spectacular for a long while.
You cup her cheeks, admiring the glamorous mess you made in which she unhesitantly neaten with her utmost capabilities. “You’re so damn pretty, Yeji.”
“You too.”
It was mutual at this moment and you never knew it would end like this but her voice wants to tell you that something isn’t over, yet.
“Help me clean up?”
And it was a hint, just out of curiosity, you’ll probably pull the trigger because how can you not refuse her invitation?
---
After countless sleepless nights and tumultuous days, you find yourself at the top of the world, and what better way to end this is just to go home, lay down and reminisce what a day this has been.
“The lights are pretty, huh?” Yeji interrupts your moment with her voice, and she locks her eyes towards yours, staring deeply into your soul as you fall onto it yet manage to snap back to reality.
“Yeah, it is—also, I just can’t comprehend how we ended up this way.” Yeji’s on the same boat as you and you could feel it in your nerves. This felt like a fever dream and you loved every second of it.
“Maybe that’s how destiny works, huh?”
You scoff, as your lips curled up a faint smile and muttered, “Maybe it is and yeah, I should leav—”
“Leave?” Yeji pouts as she inches herself closer onto yours, holding your wrist as her tone hints at her disappointment. “Don’t you wanna bother and stay just for this night?”
You can’t resist her, you absolutely can’t as you don’t want to be the bearer of bad news that will make her feel awkward.
You have a choice and you’ll stick with that… in her favor.
You smile sincerely, and Yeji’s holistic demeanor appears, “Okay, how can I resist you?”
“Up for you to find out.”
Maybe she was good, but honestly, she’s great. She is partly a monster and partly an angel, and you’ll live in those worlds together as you find your soulless heart beating rapidly for the first time in a long while.
You’re completely invigorated, and you’ll embrace this new chapter that opened.
“She’s good, she’s good—she’s great.”
---
You continue ruminating about the day you’ve had, and every moment was worth remembering. You smiled in your victorious attempts, which is having her number on your phone and sleeping with her through the night. As Yeji does her hygiene in the bathroom, a buzz on your phone piques your attention, and it was no other than the devil that made yourself look like an angel despite what you descended yourself into.
kim_chaewon on 23:15 - “Guess I shouldn’t have doubted you huh? Well done with the second phase, meet me tomorrow afternoon for further details. Enjoy your night for now—we’re still not done.”
She received it damn well minutes ago and made her eat up her words, but you’re still clearly within the base of the iceberg, and you’re still starting your remarkable journey.
“Hah… Of course we aren’t…” There was no surprise with that as you muttered in response to her text.
Yet there are multiple questions lingering in your mind: How did she know about this? How would she know if you’re lying or not? What may happen tomorrow? How long will this take? 
You could never answer those unless you figure things out, and let Chaewon introduce you to more of what’s possible between both worlds: you and everyone else’s, including hers.
937 notes · View notes
ohimsummer · 11 months ago
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DARK RED ft. BULLY!SATOSUGU
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— minors dni, angst w/comfort, mostly bully!satoru x reader, ft. bully! suguru, one implication of male masturbation, some fluff, also one (1) kiss
summary; bully! satoru manages to seriously upset you, and now he’s scrambling to give you a genuine apology
wc 2.8k
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"I thought love was supposed to be easy."
Geto pauses mid-sip. "Oh, is that what you're calling this?"
Satoru leans further into his hand. His cheek smushes against his palm, muffling his grumbles. "Duh. What else would it be?"
"You being a dumbass."
Gleaming, white hair sways over Satoru's forehead, brushes his skin. "She wasn't supposed to react like that." You don't usually react like that, he thinks.
He toys with you all the time. The constant teasing and insults towards you is a regular occurrence, as much as you seem to hate it, but you always end up angrily leaving Gojo in the dust, and then the cycle repeats the next day. Only it was different last time; they’re your usual cries and shouts, but it’s a different type of outburst. Real tears in your eyes, your choked words of 'you suck!' and 'why can't you ever take anything seriously for once?' piercing through Gojo's heart and leaving a still-bleeding wound. They don't have your usual, pissed-off bite to them, but instead sound miserable. Heartbroken and disappointed, like the victim of a betrayal. Your expression shriveled any incoming words up in Satoru's throat, leaving him wide-eyed and dumbfounded as he watched you messily wipe away flowing tears and shove past him. That was last Wednesday, and he hasn't seen you since, not a glimpse or even a whiff of you on campus. It's like you never attended this college to begin with.
Satoru looks at his text messages with you, the last one being a dismal 'princess?' that you hadn't even read. He'd thought about threatening to leak one of the many sex tapes he had of you in his phone, but usually those coercions were bluffs, as Gojo nor Geto would dare leak their precious videos of you like that to anyone else. Besides, somehow forcing you into showing yourself made Satoru's stomach queasy. Like he'd vomit up his own heart.
"There."
He looks up at the sound of Geto's voice, following his pointed finger to the drink machine in the cafeteria. After loitering around for 2 hours, you'd finally shown up, alone and looking a little worse for wear. Even from a distance, Satoru can spot the dark circles under your eyes.
You stand idly in line, awaiting your turn to fill your cup. Eyes flitting from person to person, looking out for a fray of white strands or dark hair. It's hard to discern when the cafeteria is so busy at this hour, though you're not too concerned. Gojo and Geto don't usually frequent the cafe, not unless they're here to cause trouble. And you've been avoiding Satoru for about a week now with no complaints from either of them, so you're hoping you can get in and out without being spotted.
It’s an easy walk out of the cafeteria building, and you’re on your way back to your dorm when a familiar nickname stops you in your tracks. "Hey, princess!"
Fight or flight kicks in, and unfortunately your feet cement to the ground. His presence grows stronger as he draws near, until you can sense Gojo right behind you.
"Been avoiding me, Y/N?"
It feels off. He never really calls you by your actual name. "Why do you care?"
A few seconds of silence pass. Then, "Guess I missed my pretty girl is all."
Your heart aches for a second, before you scoff. "Sure you did. What, it's not the same making some other girl cry?"
Gojo doesn't answer, and you finally force your legs to pick up, heaving yourself towards your destination.
"Sorry."
Aaand, they're stuck again. Blinking, your head eases to the side, catching sight of Gojo in the corner of your vision. He looks awkward, staring at you with hands in his pockets and scuffing the ground as he kicks at the concrete. A knot forms in your stomach, hearing him utter an apology without his usual sarcasm or malice. It almost makes you want to talk things over, until the pain of your previous encounter comes flooding back, and you leave him standing there by himself. Rejected.
Day turns to darkness, and Satoru is stuck with another night of humping his fist like a desperate virgin. Suguru’s out, no telling where, leaving him alone with regretful thoughts to torment him. The next day passes. Then two. Then three. Satoru feels like he's going insane, and it's not just because he misses fucking you on the daily. He never realized just how much of a constant you were in his life until suddenly you weren't. Fuck. He groans into his pillow.
"Maybe give her a non-half-baked apology, like a normal person.," Geto complains. "And stop making so much noise, you're distracting."
"Fuck off."
"Fine, she can stay mad at you forever for all I care. You're the one who can't get in her pussy, not me."
Satoru jolts up, jaw falling slack as he glares at who was supposed to be his best friend. "Wha–, you're still fucking her? I just saw her for the first time again like three days ago!"
A smile stretches across Geto’s face. "Do you think our darling is stupid? Why would I get punished for your wrong-doings, she knows I’d fuck her up for that. "
Gojo flops face-down back onto the bed. "Not fair. We should be suffering together."
"Hell no, this is a personal problem between you and Y/N."
He groans again, legs kicking in the air. "Suguruuu, what do I do?"
"...Give her a genuine apology? I coulda sworn I just said that.”
"I already said sorry!"
"Genuine, I said. Not lazy. Give her something she likes."
Satoru turns slightly, brows furrowed. "What, like flowers? I don't know her favorites."
"Sunflowers."
Gojo pauses, directing a curious stink-eye towards Suguru. "And how do you know that?"
"Because I asked?"
Satoru rests a cheek against his arm, thoughts wandering off as he thinks of all the things he knows about you. Small things he's noticed. Like how you wear necklaces more often than any other jewelry, what certain colors catch your eye, things you've mentioned in passing when arguing with him. And now he does remember offering you a random weed he plucked from the ground as a joke, and you muttering 'what the fuck? for future reference, i like sunflowers’ before walking away from him.
"Suguru!," the mentioned man jolts at the sudden bellow of his name. "I'm making Y/N a bouquet!"
"Right." Geto rolls his eyes. "Do you even know how to do that?"
"Do you?"
"Not really–“
"Excellent, cancel your plans tomorrow, we're going out to get flowers!"
Suguru sighs. "Fine."
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Both men, well Satoru, and a very grumpy Suguru after being shaken to consciousness, get up bright and early the next Saturday morning in search of a florist.
"Are these vibrant enough, ya think?" Satoru questions Geto, rubbing a hand over his own chin in contemplation. These flowers needed to be perfect, he wanted only the best for his ba–, you.
"These for someone special?," the lady behind the booth inquires. She smiles politely as she admires the golden petals. "A girlfriend, or wife, perhaps?"
"Uh–“
"Wife.," Satoru cuts Geto off. "So yes, very special, indeed."
He narrows his eyes at Suguru, who poorly muffles a chuckle behind his hand. "What?"
"Nothing. Didn't know you were married, is all."
Satoru shrugs, turning to examine the sunflowers again. "Hmph. That just shows you know nothing about me."
“I know you’re a jackass.”
“Anyway,” Gojo brushes him off. “I think these look terrific, perfect for my girl. I’ll take them all!”
Silence passes. The florist’s lids flutter in astonishment. “All of them?”
“Yep! This bouquet needs to be huge!”
Suguru places a hand on his shoulder. “I think that’s enough for several bouquets.”
Gojo’s grin widens. “Even better! Give ‘em to me.”
The looks both men get as they walk the streets with giant armfuls of sunflowers are…peculiar, but Satoru is too busy firing off his own praises on how he’s going to give you the best apology of your life to notice.
“I’m gonna make her cry!,” he beams, pauses, before adding, “Happy tears this time, though.”
Shoulders bounce as Suguru laughs, unable to stifle it with his hands full of shining yellow flowers. “She might just tell you to piss off.”
“Would it kill you to have some faith in me?”
“A little, yes.”
Geto curses under his breath. ‘Shit!’ as he goes stumbling forward right over Satoru’s foot, almost loosing his grip on the assortment in his arms.
“Hey, don’t you dare drop those.,” Gojo pouts. “These are for my wife, and they’re her favorite.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
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It takes Satoru hours before he’s happy with the final product. Along with countless tutorials on how to organize a bouquet properly.
“Hold it this way.,” he commands Suguru, who rolls his tired eyes, ready to catch up on the sleep he missed this morning. “There, perfect! Wait, hold on, let me just redo this.”
“Can you hurry up?,” Geto frowns at him. “You’ve redone it like a million times already, damn.”
“Hey, my marriage is at stake here, excuse me for trying to make this look like the best bouquet she’ll ever see!”
“I’m letting go.”
“Nonowait! Okay, I’m done, promise.”
The bouquet comes out stunning, given the fact it was whipped up by two college boys who’d never created a bouquet in their lives, and especially when one of those college boys was Satoru Gojo. He boasts to Suguru, who’s yanking a blanket over his head, how it’s “his best work yet”.
“Maybe be a little more humble when you give it to her.,” Suguru grumbles as Satoru heads out, eager to present you with the display of his apologetic affections.
There’s a certain pep in his step, an excitement Gojo doesn’t often feel unless it’s to see your pretty face. Elated can’t even begin to describe it. The image of your soft lips curling into a smile, eyes sparkling as you see the large array of your favorite flowers, pushes Satoru closer and closer to your dorm building, which stands tall before him. He can’t help but mentally pat himself on the back. Heart swelling, Gojo can see it now, this surprise is going to make you ecstatic–
“Gojo?”
He halts mid-stride, foot hovering in the air, arms loosening around the bouquet. Satoru turns towards the sound and there you are, standing ten feet from him. Your mouth is open in a small ‘o’ as you notice the gift in his hand. Both of you stand there for a moment, eyeing each other, before you eventually break the silence.
“What’s that?”
Satoru snaps back to life, fumbling terribly to stuff the large bouquet behind his back, and he damns himself for making something so awkwardly huge. You watch, biting back a giggle, as he tries to hide what you’ve so obviously seen already. He stutters “u-uh, nothing!’ as a few petals flutter down from his hard work, and he curses ‘fuck!’.
It's easy to sneak up on Gojo when he's so busy floundering with the bunch of flowers. Your mouth threatens to grow into a smile, teeth sinking into your lips at the outlandish sight of him struggling to completely conceal the massive bouquet from your sight. The sharp pinch of your fingertips on his shoulder snatches Gojo from his frantic thoughts.
“Is this your way of apologizing again?”
“No!,” is his instant reply, startling you until Gojo averts his gaze to the concrete. “I mean...yeah. You ruined the surprise.”
This interaction feels more routine, less delicate. The way his lips jut out in a pout, his teasing banter. Crossing arms over your chest, you give Gojo an unamused look. “Ummm, it’s huge. How did you plan on hiding that from me?”
“…”
Satoru thinks his heart stutters as you hold out your arms, hands gesturing for the bouquet, and he slowly reveals the assortment of flowers behind his back. Through his panicked, rushed efforts to hide them, the paper has torn, some of the flowers are missing petals, and some aren’t in the exact position he and Suguru had so meticulously arranged them.
“Dumbass.,” you huff, wrapping fingers around the stems, which are adorned with a crinkly, cream colored paper and a dark green bow. “I’m still mad with you.”
Satoru’s breath hitches as your fingers brush his, as if it's the first time he's ever touched you. He relinquishes hold of the bouquet. “You like ‘em, though? Don’t lie, I can tell.”
“Just shut up.”
He flashes you a toothy, boyish grin, one that makes your heart beat a little faster. “It’s all for you, my pretty Y/N.”
Eyes rolling, you intently study the bouquet, raising it to hide your flustered expression. A warmth creeps over your body at the way Satoru utters your name, like if he says it too loudly, it will break apart into glass pieces. The paper creases under your restless fingers.
“Thank you, Satoru.”
The flowers are striking, but Gojo doesn’t think they compare at all to your beauty. Blue eyes admire you, at the way you marvel over the bunch of sunflowers, beaming at how fresh and vibrant and downright captivating they are. You glance up to meet Satoru’s eye, and he rubs at the back of his neck.
“So, uh,” he starts, avoiding your gaze. “I’m sorry about what I said. Really didn’t mean to upset you that much.”
Your eyes narrow. “That much?”
“Well, you know you’re really hot when you’re mad, but I didn’t mean to do that–“
“And did I look hot then?”
“No! Well, you weren’t ugly, but I didn’t like seeing you so upset–, usually it’s a turn on when you’re all angry but it felt different that time and Suguru didn’t tell me until later you were having a super rough day so I figured I might have hit a nerve–“
You cradle the bouquet to your chest, thoroughly enjoying the clumsy flow of his words, determined not to dig himself a deeper hole or upset you all over again. His lips pause, and then Gojo interrupts another sentence with a new one, before the downturn of his brows as he catches your gleaming eyes.
“My point is that I’m sorry.” He spots the twitch of your frown. “I know you wanna smile, let me see it.”
You can’t help but grin as your mouth opens. “No I don’t. And I guess you’re forgiven, now get away from me so I can enjoy my bouquet in peace.”
“Wait, that’s not it!” Before you turn away, Satoru reaches into his back pocket to pull out a small, white, silk bag with a white ribbon securing the opening. “I got this too. Here.”
You recognize the design of the tiny sack from a rather expensive jewelry store, one you could only dream of buying from. And now here you were, in possession of something from that same store, mouth gaping open as Satoru snickers.
“You just gonna stare, baby, or…?”
The fabric of the bag is soft in your hands, smooth and easy on your fingers. Hugging the bouquet to your side, the ribbon loosens to reveal a dainty, silver necklace inside, adorned with a small, heart charm engraved with your initials.
“Oh, wow . .” You’re awestruck at how delicate and pretty it looks. Turning it over, you find a “G.S” on the other side of the heart. “And Suguru’s initials on the back? How sweet.”
“Don’t play.”
“Whatever.,” you giggle at his downturned lips. “It’s very nice, I like it.”
Satoru can’t help pat himself on the back. “Yeah, it is, isn’t it? Cost a hefty chunk of change, especially since I wanted it so quick and on such short notice–“
“Uh huh.” This big dummy. Your smile grows at the thought.
“–and you know I just had to get the best for my pretty girl, plus I got kinda hard at the thought of my initials on your chest–“
Gojo’s words catch in his throat at the soft press of your lips to his cheek. Blood shoots to his face, instantly, and you can’t help bursting into a round of giggles, barely gasping out ‘you look like a strawberry!’. He’s so embarrassed that the realization that you willingly kissed him of your own accord doesn’t even register. All Satoru feels is a burning heat on his cheeks and a tightness in his chest, desire squeezing a fist around his heart as you smirk up at him through a fit of laughter.
“You are really somethin’ else. Bye, Satoru, also learn to stop talking sometimes.”
All Gojo can do is wave as you depart, leaving you with a ‘see ya, princess’ as you disappear into the building, sparing him one last glance. His phone vibrates as you leave his line of sight, announcing a text from Suguru.
asshole🤮: you give it to her yet?
s: i thought the sleeping beauty was getting a nap in?
asshole🤮: she told you to fuck off, didn’t she?
s: stfu
1K notes · View notes
lisired · 1 month ago
Text
i thought you were dead
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pairing: yuta x (f) reader
genre/warnings: murder, angst, violence, smut, unprotected sex, oral (f receiving), choking
summary: after investigating the activity of a local gang, your boss abruptly disappears, and it's up to you to find out what happened to him. you almost immediately suspect the reapers, one of the most infamous gangs in seoul. and yuta is willing to lend a hand in your operation, but only at a cost; forget him in the end.
word count: 20k
a/n: part 2/3 of my wanted: dead or alive series. as always, feedback is appreciated!
“I want him dead, woman.”
Every bone in your body was itching with the overwhelmingly extreme urge to roll your eyes. Though rather than lose your job, or potentially your life, you held back and replied, “Got it, boss.” 
You knew this conversation had been long overdue, but that didn’t mean you were any more eager to have it with him. Your boss could be a pain in the ass sometimes. He never cut anyone any slack and he took retribution way too seriously. 
That said, you supposed he had his reasons. As an inner circle member of one the most infamous gangs in the country, he had as much to lose as he had to gain. It made perfect sense, you knew, that he wanted his marks completely dead. Not barely on the cusp of consciousness. 
As if you gave a damn what he wanted.
“Jaehyun giving you a hard time?”
Coming out the door of the arms building, directly beneath the entire two floors of the narcotics trade happenings, you turned when you heard a familiar voice behind you. “When is he not?”
Jeno snickered and shoved his hands in his pockets. “He can be a pain in the ass. And he’s even harder on the noobs. I think you’ll get used to it though.”
You snorted. “You have that much confidence in me?”
Jeno nodded. That notorious grin was still on his face to express his amusement, but he seemed authentic as he replied, “Yes, because you’re stronger than the other recruits I see come in and out.”
Your brows furrowed together. In your three months under this gang, barely anybody had spared you genuine kindness. “What makes you say that?”
“You haven’t tried to slap the shit out of him yet.”
That was the last answer you were expecting to hear, so it made you burst into laughter. 
Pleased by having made you laugh, Jeno smiled a little wider. “May I tag along?”
“Please do,” you told him, the tone in your voice dangerously close to desperate. “When I was told I was being assigned to the arms unit, no one told me the head motherfucker of it all is also the one playing God.”
That was a lie, of course. You knew early on that Jaehyun juggled both the arms trafficking operation and the responsibility of getting rid of anybody who slighted the syndicate. Your real boss’ leftover notes were thorough and neat.
But that was nothing Jeno needed to know. As far as he knew, you were merely another newcomer anticipating to make dirty money by illegal means. And you had every last intention of keeping that dirty little image in his head. You had a role to play. 
Pulling a pair of keys from the pockets his hands had been buried in, Jeno chirped, “I’ll do the driving.”
You made no argument, following him to his car and climbing into the passenger seat. 
After giving him the coordinates of whatever location Jaehyun had sent you off to, Jeno drove you halfway across the city to an abandoned warehouse. The whole structure looked a whole breath away from giving in on itself. 
Jeno grimaced. “I’d hate to die here.”
You laughed at that, heading for the door. 
Jaemin blew out an exasperated breath when he saw you entering the warehouse and stood up from a crate he had been sitting on. “Fucking finally. Jaehyun never mentioned that you’d be bringing company.”
You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t blame him for being vexed. The drive here had taken a good minute and if he had been here since you were informed of your assignment, he had been waiting even longer. 
“Nice to see you too, Jaemin,” Jeno replied sarcastically. 
Surprise flickered onto your face for a split second. You had no idea how they knew each other, but it was far from impossible. They both worked for the same bastard whose bidding you were doing right now. 
Jaemin was annoyed. “I would be happier to see you if you both were on time.”
“Yeah, whatever.” Jeno pointed at the back of Jaemin’s pants with a sly expression. “You’ve got a little something there.”
With another irritated breath, Jaemin dusted off his pants. Most of his current frustrations seemed aimed at the fact that this warehouse was barely holding itself together. “This place is old as fuck. I think something crawled and died in that crate. Like seven years ago.”
Even though you wanted to giggle, the urge was overcome by the one to get this over with so that you could do something meaningful. “Where’s Kang Hangyeol? I’m trusting you didn’t leave him alone.”
“Do I look like an amateur to you?” Jaemin asked, waving you off. “He’s in the back. There’s no way he’s moving out of that position, dead or alive. Follow me.”
You trailed closely behind as Jaemin led you through the old warehouse. There was a clutter of dust-laden boxes and a slew of spider webs in every available corner. Graffiti that looked maybe a few years old was the only proof of recent human activity. 
“What’s this guy dying for anyway?” you asked, disguising your concern as innocent curiosity. You didn’t want to make it obvious that you were trying to justify your inevitable actions. 
Jaemin, on the other hand, didn’t seem as worried. This was a life he had led for years and no one would expect anything other than him to be committed. “Apparently, he’s a brother. He was caught sneaking on our turf.”
Your brows furrowed, imagining what a brother was doing on Reaper playgrounds. They had no business being even remotely near this gang and any of its less than luxurious locations. “You’re sure he’s a brother?”
“Yeah, they found him in one of those ugly masks.”
Jeno snorted.
Nearing the forthcoming doorway, you reached for the switchblade you had tucked away, unsure what you were going to do with it in the first place. At times, it was less like a weapon and more like a comfort tool. And you needed comfort right now. Your involvement as an undercover cop didn’t legally or emotionally justify taking someone’s life. 
No doubt, it was the worst part of being undercover. You advanced your way through the ranks most times, meaning you gained enough authority to convince your new peers to spare innocent lives, but this syndicate was something bigger than you had ever experienced. It would take years to infiltrate their innermost hierarchy. And you didn’t have years. 
Jaemin reached for the door knob and pulled it open, expecting to see a half-conscious man bound with his arms behind his back. Imagine your collective shock when you saw nothing but an empty wooden chair next to a pile of rope. 
“Where’s Hangyeol?” Jaemin stammered. 
“I was expecting you to know,” you mumbled, inspecting what all was leftover. There were a few drops of blood on the chair at best. You clutched your switchblade tighter.
At least Jaehyun wouldn’t be pissed at you this time. You could already imagine the verbal backlash Jaemin was going to get for this. Not even you had messed up this badly before. 
Jeno leaned on the wall, entertained by everything as always. “Nah, you don’t seem like an amateur, man. Total pro.”
Jaemin groaned, “This is serious!”
Not a second later, you heard a gunshot echoing out in the main entrance of the warehouse. This felt like a setup somehow. You clutched your switchblade tighter, hissing, “You had one fucking job, Jaemin!”
He opened his mouth to say something about how this wouldn’t have happened if he didn’t have to babysit you to make sure you went through with the kill, but you all froze when you heard a second gunshot. 
Jaemin grabbed the bag slung over his shoulders and set it down on the chair where your mark should have been instead. He handed Jeno a gun and took one for himself, then pivoted towards you. “You sure you don’t want one?”
You shook your head. The knife in your hands would suffice. They always had. “I’m good.”
“You know what they say,” Jeno chimed in. “Don’t bring a knife to a gunfight.”
That was true for someone maybe. But even though you had gone through your annual firearm training with the academy, you were stubborn and preferred your blades. “She’s my baby.”
“That’s even worse. Who brings a baby to a gunfight?”
You were tempted to laugh, but you could hear the chaos unfolding practically right outside the door and it unnerved you. “I do. Let’s go.”
The dark hallway outside the old storage closet led you back to the main entrance of the warehouse through a little opening. You could see brothers rummaging the place and took a wild guess that they were here to take back their own. 
A little headcount went on in your head as you noted the number of armed, masked men you saw lurking expectantly around every inch of the unloading site. The three of you were definitely outnumbered, that was for certain. 
“I counted fourteen,” you whispered quietly. “Are we good?”
Jeno nodded, gun close to his chest. He looked more serious right now than ever. “I’ve got your six. Let’s move.”
That was all you needed to hear as you dove headfirst into the bloody sea of chaos. While Jaemin and Jeno immediately started to fire their weapons, stealing all the attention, you hid close on anything you could find and ambushed, coming up behind and dragging your blade against the cold necks of your enemies. 
Your ears went deaf to the cacophony of masculine shouts as men dropped like flies around you. The sound bled into choked noises with every throat you impaled. 
They were strong men, but you were swifter. Both were lethal and dangerous, but they couldn’t touch you if you didn’t let them. You were too nimble for them to keep up with, too quick.
But the one time you didn’t move quick enough, you rolled onto the filthy floor and looked down the barrel of a gun. You groaned, raising your head a little higher to meet the bloody eyes of your mark. 
He was right there in the flesh, hovering over you with a sly grin as if he was proud of what he had done. You were insulted to even be held at gunpoint. Every desire to spare him immediately fled your body and you raised your switchblade, penetrating his throat without hesitation. 
Not stopping to watch him bleed, you turned your head just quickly enough to see Jeno’s gun be kicked out of his hands. You wiped the blood from your knife and furtively approached his aggressor, briefly catching him off guard and kicking the gun back. 
Jeno scrambled towards the gun and quickly opened fire, the sound making your ears ring obnoxiously. 
“Goddamn,” you said, shaking your head in disapproval. 
Jaemin came over panting for breath, glancing around to make sure the entire room had been cleared. “I think I should be getting paid extra for this.”
Jeno snorted and came to a stand, directing his attention back to your face. “Remind me to never again invite myself on one of your assignments.”
Your shoulders shook with a laugh. That was fair enough. But there was definitely bigger fish to fry right now. How in the hell did the Brotherhood know where Kang Hangyeol was being held?
The three of your phones beeped collectively. With all the fighting and being thrown you each had done, it was a miracle they were still functioning. You glanced down to read a message Jaehyun had sent. 
Several bases have been attacked. Going incognito. More details later. Lay low until further notice. 
Your brows furrowed. “What the hell?”
“Vague as fuck,” Jeno replied, as if he had read your mind. “He must be in a meeting.”
Jaemin scoffed. “So what do we do then? Just wait around to die?”
You closed your blade and shook your head, reminding, “You’re already going to die. You let Kang Hangyeol get away. Remember?”
“That’s not the version of the story I plan on telling Jaehyun.”
You rolled your eyes. “If you start being nice to me, I’ll leave that part out of my report.”
Jaemin hummed, as if he was mulling it over. “Deal.”
You nodded with a tiny sigh. Nothing good was going to come out of rival gangs taking turns exacting revenge on each other. You knew that like you knew the law. 
Jeno safely returned you to the headquarters with a little farewell and warning to be safe before you went your separate ways. Normally, you would meet Jaehyun in person to briefly discuss the happenings of your task, but he wasn’t in his office. He would have to settle for the paragraph you sent to his phone. 
Upon entering the tiny apartment you had surprisingly been offered by the Reapers, you almost immediately collapsed on the bed, worn down by exhaustion. 
You had nearly dozed off completely when the sound of your phone ringing made you jolt awake. “Hello?” you answered weakly. 
“Is someone sleepy?” Ten teased. 
You groaned. If not for the fact that you had recognized your co-worker’s number, you would be sleeping right now. “I had a very, very long day.”
That piqued Ten’s interest. “You did? Tell me everything.”
You sat up, trying to wipe the sleep from your eyes. Stifling a yawn, you replied nonchalantly, “Oh, you know. The usual running around the city, trying to look like a loyal employee, and nearly getting shot to death.”
“Nearly getting shot to death?” Ten’s voice was loud as hell, repeating your words with shock. 
Well, if you weren’t awake before, you definitely were now. “I’m fine. No more bullets for me. It wasn’t the first time and it probably won’t be the last either.”
You couldn’t recall the first time someone had attempted to shoot you, but the memory of the first and last time they successfully did so was something you would always remember. Across the world in the United States, on a mission to track and detain a gang leader moving in and out of the country to evade arrest. 
Surprisingly enough, with it being an open case, that wasn’t even the mission that made you quit being a spy. Until now. 
“You got lucky the last time you got shot,” Ten replied, hating how casual you were about it but almost somewhat impressed. “Don’t let it happen again.”
“I’ll try,” you replied quietly, fully awake but still mindful of the fact that these walls were thin and you had no intention of exposing yourself. You switched the topic. “How’s the birthday boy?”
Ten wanted to talk more about the hectic day you had, but he supposed he could let it slide this once. “He’s twenty-five and drunk as all hell.”
You shook your head in amusement. You had expected nothing less. “I remember when I turned twenty-five.”
“I don’t,” Ten retorted. “I was blackout drunk too. He’s not going to remember either.”
You snickered. As long as Mark was having fun, that was all that mattered. “He should go wild. At that age, life becomes more about experiencing and less about surviving.”
“I assume that’s why you think barely dodging a bullet is no big deal?”
You resisted a roll of your eyes. Leave it to Ten to be utterly dramatic when it came to all things big and small. “No, actually. I call that focusing on the things I can control and not dwelling on what’s behind me.”
Ten sighed. You were insufferably stubborn, and even when you had gotten shot your first priority was still your work. They had to more or less chain you down to make you rest. “Whatever,” he replied, tone laced with disapproval. “Do you want me to put him on?”
“Yes, please.”
There was a moment of shuffling as Ten went to find Mark, not that it took very long. In a matter of seconds, you heard Mark enthusiastically greeting you by your name. 
“Hey, birthday boy,” you said happily, content to hear your co-workers’ voices. It brought them peace too. Knowing you were still alive and breathing somewhere. “How much did you drink?”
Mark chuckled. You could imagine he was rubbing his nape right now. “Not gonna lie, I have no idea. But I’m feeling good.”
“As to be expected,” you replied, leaning back a little against the headboard of the bed. “How have you been?”
“I’m honestly bummed that you’re not here. But hey, I did finish this case I was working on. I kept asking myself what you would do.”
You snorted. “And that’s how you solved the case?”
“Well, Ten and Jisung helped too,” Mark confessed. 
You laughed. 
“What about you?” Mark asked. “How’s the case going? I heard Ten screeching something about you almost getting shot. You good?”
Your mind brought you back to that moment for a second, being knocked underneath the mark and coming face to face with the barrel of a gun, but you banished the thought away. “I’m good. Not a nick or bruise.”
Mark hummed. He chose to believe you had everything under control. It wasn’t that he didn’t worry about you sometimes, but he knew what you were capable of and admired your strength. “And the case. How do you feel about finding Kun?”
Something about the mention of your boss made you frown. After retiring from being an undercover spy three years ago, you decided to make yourself useful in other ways, and had been transferred directly under his unit. You had mainly adjusted to handling organized crime without being on the field yourself. 
A few months ago, Kun had been investigating a gang called the Reapers. He’d been playing it close to the chest and you only found out because he had been acting suspiciously lately. He made you swear to secrecy, which you did. Until he disappeared into thin air. 
The worst part was that he had been missing for literal months and you didn’t feel like you had made any significant progress. You knew deep down that his chances of being alive were slimmer than ever, but you wanted to have faith in the odds. Kun had dedicated his entire life to the force, but he wanted to settle down someday. He wanted a wife and maybe a couple of kids. 
The thought that he would never get to do those things chilled you to the core every time it crossed your mind. You sighed and replied honestly, “I feel like it’ll be a while, but I’m doing everything I can.”
Mark would have to be content with that answer for now. He knew you would find Kun, whether it be dead or alive. He just hoped it would be the latter. “I have faith in you,” he told you sincerely. 
“Thank you,” you replied, somewhat comforted by those words. “I’ll hear from you again soon. Happy birthday.”
Mark smiled as he held Ten’s phone to his ear. “Thanks. Talk to you later.”
The very next day, you woke up to another message from Jaehyun that had less to do with details about the attacks from yesterday and more to do with something about a weird buddy system. According to him, you would new a partner from now on. 
You didn’t exactly have many friends here, so your first instinct was to call Jeno. 
“What do you mean you already have a partner?” you asked, flabbergasted. Something told you that he had chosen Jaemin over you. 
Jeno was trying his best to let you down gently. “I mean, I already have a partner. You called a little too late. It’s a shame we can only choose one. The three of us would’ve made a good team.” 
You sighed exasperatedly. You were on a to-and-from lockdown, no detours. And you needed a partner for whatever fucking reason. This gang was impossible. “Do you have some kind of humiliation kink? That fool almost got us killed yesterday.”
Jeno tried to stifle a chortle and failed miserably. “He might be a fool, but he’s my friend. I’m sorry, babe.”
“Don’t ‘babe’ me when you’re in cahoots with Na Jaemin of all the people in the world.”
You could hear Jeno sighing from the other line, contemplating the situation carefully. He didn’t want to leave you hanging. “Hear me out,” he started. 
Although you were glancing down at the phone in the palm of your hand with a blend of disdain and disappointment, you answered reluctantly, “I’m hearing you.”
“I heard around that some of the high-ranks are taking in their best soldiers.”
“Oh,” you replied quietly, not sure if you liked where this was going or not. But you chose to think about it pragmatically. If you were closer to the high-ranks, you had more access to hidden intel.
“I know a guy who knows a guy, who knows a guy. He’s the gang’s tracker. The one who can find anyone and everyone. If there’s anyone who can keep you safe, it’s him,” he continued. 
So he was a dangerous man. Not that you were any afraid. You had met many lethal men and yet you were still breathing. “Okay. When can I meet him?”
“Right now.”
Your head snapped behind you. That voice didn’t belong to the one on your phone. It belonged to someone merely a couple feet away from you. If you thought you were stealthy, this man gave you a run for every dime you owned. 
You stumbled back. Your eyes went wide. The blood drained from your face as if you had seen a ghost. And to be fair, that was exactly what was happening. 
“Don’t look so surprised,” Yuta told you indifferently. The sound of his voice did nothing to put your nerves at ease. Your shoulders were cold. Your heart was thudding. 
You had been located by the tracker. You swallowed sharply. It took every bit of your strength not to collapse in front of him. “You’re the third-in-command.”
“That’s me,” Yuta replied calmly. He took your phone and hung up the call. You hadn’t even registered Jeno’s bemused voice calling out to you worriedly. 
To be frank, it felt like you were dreaming. Or hallucinating. This was the last man you were expecting to see. Ever. “I can find another partner.”
Yuta chuckled. “You will find another partner in a group of people who hate talking to strangers whose intentions they don’t know?”
“You don’t know my intentions either.”
That seemed to amuse Yuta more than the last response you gave him. “Kim Yeongsu. Ahn Dongil. Cho Geonhan. You still want to play dumb?”
That had your attention. Your work always came first. You would follow the trail of breadcrumbs if it meant there was a chance they would lead you to success, even if it was a trap. 
Yuta didn’t wait for your answer. Apparently the look on your face said more than enough. You were game. “Go to housing. Pack your shit. I know you didn’t bring a ton anyways.”
That was a little too true, but a thought crossed your mind. He was helping you, and you couldn’t imagine why. “What do you want in return?” you asked skeptically. 
The little grin on Yuta’s lips fell. You felt something gloomy inside you stirring, but ignored it the best you could. There was no time for old emotions. After a small pause, he replied darkly, “Forget we ever happened.”
“Consider it already done,” you said, cold as ice, and paid the throbbing emptiness in your chest no mind. 
After you gathered what few things you had from the apartment you’d been given, you went straight to Yuta’s place. He was none too happy to see you, at least from the less than warm look on his face, but he opened his doors for you and let you inside. 
Leading you down the hall to an extra bedroom, Yuta skipped the greetings and niceties. “I don’t care what you do as long as you don’t bother me and don’t leave on your own. I don’t feel like getting shit from Taeyong.”
You nodded. Yuta turned and headed out, and the second he was out of earshot you grumbled something under your breath. Did he really have to be so rude?
Maybe you deserved it. Not that you would ever admit it to him or yourself. The way you saw it, you had only done everything you knew to do best. You had made no commitments. The only thing you ever promised was absolute and unwavering loyalty to your work. 
Fuck’s sake, you were still in shock. You had spent the past three years of your life believing something that couldn’t have been more false. Three years of your life you would never get back. Didn’t you deserve to be angry too?
Aggravated, you started to unpack your things and put them away somewhere safe. Yuta was right about you not having many belongings. You never did when you were on missions, or even in the very rare event that you were on vacation. They would only weigh you down. 
You grabbed your phone from the nightstand when you were done, knowing Jeno would most likely be demanding some kind of explanation for your abrupt hang-up, and sent a text his way. Yuta is taking me in or whatever. Take care of yourself. And tell Jaemin to be safe too. 
Jeno sent a message back after a few moments. Well, you thought it was Jeno, but considering the content of the message, someone else had gotten ahold of his phone. I’m always safe, princess. Don’t worry, I’ll take perfect care of Jeno. 
You immediately typed a response, After what happened yesterday? Doubtful. 
Will you ever let me live that down?
Unlikely. 
Jaemin was probably somewhere rolling his eyes at your message. In a few seconds, he answered, Are you a human or a magic eight ball?
You laughed a little at that. Some of the stress elevated from your chest, though not by much. You were still fighting in a close battle with your feelings - shock, anger, bitterness. All of the above. 
They were becoming almost uncontrollably strong and the last thing you wanted was to be unable to put a rein on your emotions. You stood up and headed out what was your room for the next who knew how long, checking out the apartment to distract yourself. 
You had been here before. Once. You had gotten hurt and since it was the closest option, Yuta opted to bring you back to his home for the first time to take care of you. The other times you only met in hotels. 
He had taken you to his living room and prompted your legs up on the coffee table, gingerly tending to your injuries. You remembered the guilt in his eyes every time he heard you hiss and saw you grimace. You remembered the way he tried to kiss it better. 
Even now, that same coffee table was still here three years later. The apartment was more or less as you remembered, but Yuta wasn’t. He was so much colder than he was before, but maybe you had done that to him. 
None of it helped. You were still emotional. Remembering the way things used to be only strengthened the tremor in your heart. The only reasonable thing you could do now was focus on your work. At the end of the day, you had a job to do, after all. 
You spotted Yuta with a cup of coffee in the kitchen and mustered the courage to approach him, announcing, “I have a question.”
Yuta winced his eyes closed. “What about ‘don’t bother me’ was confusing to you?”
You took his annoyance in stride. “This group and the Brotherhood are basically at war with each other. Why?”
Yuta shrugged, sipping from his coffee. “We’re their only competition. Do the math.”
You hummed. You had learned that the Reapers dominated the drug market and it was their most lucrative branch of business. Even though you worked beneath its entire two floor levels, you were never allowed to become too privy to the operation itself. It was forbidden knowledge if you were too new. “Have you ever run into one?” you asked curiously. 
“Nope,” Yuta replied nonchalantly. “They’re all mousy about showing their faces and they wear weird masks and stuff.”
That you had learned from your encounter with them the other day, which you wondered if was worth mentioning to Yuta. You decided against it for now. “Do you know why I’m here?”
“You want to know who killed your beloved department chief,” Yuta sang knowingly, setting his mug of coffee down on the counter. 
Those words made you shudder, wondering if he had been keeping tabs on you, but you kept pressing. “Was it the gang?”
Yuta initially shook his head, but then he seemed to genuinely think about it for a second. The silence only served to make you anxious. There was a small pause before he answered, “Well, if someone did, neither of us signed off on the decision. We don’t kill cops. It’s too messy. I don’t like messy.”
You believed him. Though the decision to meddle with cops not being greenlit by the inner circle didn’t mean that any low-ranks weren’t involved. You had to keep digging. “I’m assuming all the names you gave me were low-ranks then,” you replied, piecing things together. “I haven’t ran them through the system yet.”
“They’re low-ranks who had pretty bad prior run-ins with cops,” Yuta explained. 
You were surprised they would knowingly even take in anyone like that, considering how much they seemed against it. “One of them probably did it, then.”
“When you find out, let me know so I can hang them on a billboard in town square,” Yuta said coolly, to no one’s surprise. 
“Or you can let me bring them back to the station and we’ll persecute them to the highest extent of the law,” you suggested instead.
Yuta shook his head, none too enthusiastic to let you do things the legal and proper way. If someone in his gang had done this, they had violated a highly important rule that was more like a law of his own. “My way’s quicker.”
You rolled your eyes while he wasn’t paying attention. There was never any use arguing with Yuta Nakamoto when he wanted something. You learned that early on. He was unshakable in his ways and couldn’t be bent and manipulated into shape like the other pawns you’d hunted. 
But that was what you had liked about him. At least, one of many things on his abundantly long list of attractive traits. The others had only been deliberately chosen expendable tools to leech new intel off and dispose of when you got what you wanted. 
When you met Yuta, however, you knew he could never just be another pawn in your twisted game of survival. He was too intuitive, too perceptive for his own good and yours. You never had the upper hand for long with him. You both had something to lose in mingling with each other, and strangely enough, that made things more exciting. 
Yuta dismissed himself first as if he sensed more questions approaching and knew to disappear before you could conjure them in your head. “Sleep well. I’ve got an early meeting with the boys tomorrow morning, which means you have to come too.”
You watched his back sadly as he left. It was impressive you had gotten him to speak so much, considering he seemed to want nothing to do with you. Though if that was the case, why did he go out of his way to be partners with you?
That was the one thing giving you hope - the single most dangerous thing for someone like you to have. 
Tomorrow rolled around, and like he said you would, you accompanied Yuta to an inner circle meeting. More accurately, you waited outside for him to finish while they discussed the gang’s next steps and back-up plan if their biggest rival challenged them again. 
Nothing you were interested in. You only cared to know who was responsible for the fact that your boss was presumably dead. So far, there was no body, which gave you even more ammunition to keep searching rather than readily move on. 
In your thoughts as you stood outside the door of the conference room, you jolted out of them when you noticed someone coming. And to your surprise, it was Jeno’s footsteps you were hearing. 
Jeno had been looking at his phone, but acknowledged your presence with a baffled look when he glanced up at you. “Oh, hey. I didn’t know you were here too.”
The shock was mutual. You waved at him. “I wasn’t expecting to see you either.”
“Yeah, Jaemin’s here too,” Jeno replied, slipping his phone into his back pocket and giving you his undivided attention. “He’s downstairs looking for coffee. He really wanted an Iced Americano.”
You shook your head, pretending to be disappointed. “Fish found in the ocean. Who’s surprised?”
Jeno was shaking with laughter. “No one, I guess. I’m also not surprised that they’re kicking us outside instead of letting us listen in on the meeting.”
There was no surprise there. Reapers were painfully stingy with important information, as you had come to know. “I know,” you groaned in annoyance. “Like we don’t deserve to know what the fuck is going on.”
Jeno nodded along, bobbing his head in agreement. He leaned in, mindful of the fact there were a number of dangerous men right behind the door, and whispered, “That’s what I’m saying. Jaehyun ended up more or less adopting Jaemin and I. If you think you hate the guy right now, imagine living in his house.”
You winced, feeling sympathetic. Between his housing situation and yours, you didn’t know which was worse. “Damn.”
He looked behind him to the conference room, hidden behind a glass wall. You could see in all you wanted, but couldn’t hear a word of the conversation. “This buddy system is weird as all fuck. Meeting like this is even stupider,” Jeno said, blunt as ever. “Everybody knows the best time to strike is when they’re all together.”
You hadn’t thought about something like that. In all truth, you had been thinking about Yuta. Nothing he was doing made sense right now and you sensed an ulterior motive behind his seemingly kind actions. He had never helped you for free, after all. There always came a price. 
The price didn’t seem so bad back then. You could have signed your life away to him and wouldn’t have even noticed. He helped you, feeding you intel on an underground fighting gang in Japan, and in return you helped him, giving him special access to cop affairs. 
It cost more now. Or at least it felt that way. The tension was unbearable and the memories leapt at every opportunity to weigh on your mind as well as your heart. Once upon a time, you only felt Yuta’s weight on your body. Things were so much easier before. 
“I guess so,” you told Jeno, forcibly grounding yourself back in the moment. “But I think that all depends on the Brotherhood’s motivations for attacking and what they plan on getting out of this.” 
“A few people are gonna have to die before that gets figured out,” Jeno replied darkly. 
That was very true. Naturally, you had already come to that conclusion too. At this rate, you were expecting a hefty number of casualties on both ends. 
The meeting droned on for what seemed like an eternity before Yuta finally stepped out of the conference room with most of his fellow members in tow. A few had stayed back for whatever reason, but the ones that headed out barely paid you a lick of attention as they made a beeline for the elevator. 
Not that you were complaining, of course. The fact that you were a mere blip on their radar was a good sign, all things considered. But it made you realize that Yuta had never told them what you were. 
You couldn’t wrap your head around why he was helping you. Every time you tried not to worry about the intent behind his deeds, it backfired immediately. And so when you were alone in his car, you asked, “Why are you helping me if you hate me so badly?”
“I’m not helping you,” Yuta told you, buckling his seat belt around his waist. His eyes were nowhere on you. Like you didn’t concern him at all. “I’m helping myself. The sooner you find the bastard that killed your boss, the sooner I can tie up loose ends, and the sooner we can both move on with our lives.”
He didn’t deny hating you. Something about that made your stomach churn. “Well, at least you’re honest,” you mumbled. “And we don’t know if he was killed or not.”
You knew better than to think that he was alive, but you wouldn’t accept it until you saw his corpse for yourself. The people in your unit had come to mean a lot to you over the years. 
Yuta scoffed. If you looked closely enough, you could almost see something bitter in his expression. “Your boss has been missing for what? Two or three months now? You know the statistics better than I do, baby. He’s dead.”
“Statistics aren’t foolproof,” you reminded. 
“I thought they would be to you. Glad to know I was wrong.”
You caught it this time, mainly because he wasn’t cloaking it. The resentment covering his words from head to toe. He wanted you to know he hated you. You swallowed sharply. Message fucking received. 
The ride back was silent. You had everything to say to him, but even more pride. It would do you no good with someone as stubborn as Yuta Nakamoto himself. What would it fix if you admitted you’d done him dirty? Not a goddamn thing. 
You raced into his apartment without another word when you both arrived. There were bigger problems than whatever was going on between the two of you. No issue, big or small, would be allowed to come between you and work and anyone who dared try ultimately faced your wrath. 
Once in your room, you opened your laptop and entered the names Yuta had given you along with additional information you had stumbled across and cross-referenced them against the unit’s current findings. And you came up empty. There was nothing that lent any support to either of those three men being the perpetrators, other than their history of assault on cops which Yuta had already informed you of. 
To say nothing of the fact that the crimes seemed very spontaneous, according to the incident reports available. Like they were simply doing whatever they had to do to remove themselves from the corner they’d been backed into. They were apprehended immediately. No repeats and nothing that screamed violent disdain of cops. 
It was unlikely that their behavior would escalate from second-degree murder to a deliberately executed abduction of a police chief. You shut your laptop, groaning. Yet again, I have fucking nothing.
Nightfall came and a lot of time sped by doing even more research, but to no avail. You weren’t any closer to solving the disappearance of your boss and it was making your skin crawl. Three years away was starting to make you think that you’d lost your touch as a covert. 
Uncontrollably, your mind started to wander to the past. The case that earned you your rep as a prolific undercover agent and simultaneously the last one you ever worked. A memory held you hostage, one of many. 
The room was so hot you couldn’t breathe. It didn’t help that Yuta’s naked body was tangled with yours, refusing to let go after a few long rounds of love-making. At the very least, the luxurious hotel room on the top floor had comfortable bedding and a beautiful window outlook of Yokohama. 
Though your breath was more taken by the view of the gorgeous man in your grip. And the intimate moment you had shared together. “Yuta, I’m scared,” you told him quietly. 
Not more than a few words had been exchanged since you two finished, so Yuta was surprised to hear you speak. “What are you scared of, darling?”
Your heart raced by a thousand miles per hour as you sucked in a breath, willing yourself to remain calm and level. It was not often you were made nervous by something, so Yuta had assumed whatever was troubling you was more or less life-threatening. In a way, he was spot-on. 
His eyes were squarely on you, giving you his undivided attention. Which only made your heart flutter quicker. “I’m scared because I like you,” you confessed in a whisper. “More than I’ve ever liked anyone before.”
Yuta’s eyes flickered in surprise. Not by what you had said, but the fact that you’d said it aloud. The two of you had been dancing around the subject of romance for a couple of months now, focusing on the main task instead of the love inadvertently developing between you more quickly than you’d hoped. He hummed. “That scares you?”
“It’s not just that,” you replied, knowing how it sounded. “We’re on two separate sides of the law. After this operation inevitably ends, I won’t have an excuse to see you anymore. I will go back to my way of life and you will go back to yours.”
That had always been the plan. Once you ultimately exhausted your purposes for each other, this little alliance would break. Though Yuta’d had a change of heart. “It doesn’t have to be that way,” he said, cradling your face. “We don’t have to live completely separate lives forever. You’re obviously good at keeping secrets. No one has to know.”
“But it’s wrong.”
“Playing with my dick when you’re supposed to be looking for a serial killer is okay, but secretly being in a relationship with me behind your handler’s back is where you draw the big red line? That cuts deep, babe,” he joked. 
“It’s a thin gray line,” you corrected, matching his humor. “And I think I found the serial killer.”
Yuta playfully rolled his eyes. He’d told you just enough about his job that you didn’t paralyze with fear whenever he touched you, in spite of knowing he had taken lives and would do it again in a heartbeat. He was a protector, a defender. “Yeah, wrong one, baby.”
You giggled. The noise made Yuta’s heart swell in his chest like never before. He wanted to defend you with everything he had, destroy anybody who dreamed of laying even the tip of their fingers on you. He would crush entire worlds in his palm for you.
“I like you too,” Yuta admitted, as if it hadn’t already been obvious. The man fucked you like he wanted to consume you right after. “More than I ever thought I would. Five months ago, I would’ve never imagined I’d be holding you in my arms like this right now, but I wouldn’t have you anywhere else. So tell me what I gotta do to keep you here.”
His words nearly had your head spinning. Your eyes were brimming with affection. “Just hold me like this forever,” you replied softly. 
Yuta smirked. “I think that can be arranged.”
The memory seemed so close, yet so far away. Sometimes you wished you were still somewhere in a hotel in Yokohama or in the alps of Hakone with him pressed into your side. You pictured cherry blossoms and scenic lakes with a view of mountain peaks touching the clouds. You pictured Yuta enthusiastically showing you to all his favorite stops, hand in yours. 
You couldn’t remember the last time he had genuinely smiled at you now. The promise to take you to his hometown was one of the last things he’d told you. You remembered how excited he had been. And now he wouldn’t even look at you. 
That hurt like a bitch. 
Something else was bothering you. You more or less always knew Yuta was a powerful gang member, but you never realized he was one of the most influential members of the Reapers. The two of you had been too focused on what was ahead of you to look behind. 
It made you wonder what you really knew about each other. You had seen him as an oasis away from dreadful work, someone who was passionate and intuitive. Someone who got more and more interesting every time he spoke. Someone who kept his heart under lock and key, but loved you with all of it.
Yuta had taken months to get to know. Intentionally. He preferred to take his time when it came to sizing people up and understanding them before they could do the same to him. And he was very, very good at doing so. He guarded his heart and only allowed you to see what he wanted you to see. But you knew how to disarm him.
Like you, he was also obstinate as all hell. It was immovable object meets unstoppable force meeting him. Things were still that way now. You would have to fight like hell and then some if you wanted to prove that you still deserved to be in his life, because he would fight even harder against it. 
You knew he was not one to forgive or forget and he could take a grudge to the grave if he so pleased. Scorpion was his name and stinging was his game. Viper and venom. No wonder his job was to hunt and kill anybody who slighted the gang enough. He was revenge personified. 
Tossing and turning in bed, unable to fall asleep even after a steaming hot shower, you swallowed your pride and paraded straight to Yuta’s bedroom. The door was unlocked. You poked your head inside, the movement not unnoticed by Yuta. He was still awake. 
“The day is already over,” Yuta said dismissively, glancing away from you. “You can bother me with questions tomorrow.”
“I’m not here to ask questions.”
Yuta raised a brow, turning to you again. “Then why are you here?”
You swallowed the lump in your throat. This was going to make things awkward. “I don’t want to sleep alone,” you whispered.
“You don’t want to sleep alone,” Yuta repeated, as if he had misheard you.
You nodded slowly. When he echoed your words back to you like that, it only made you feel stupid for thinking he would let you share a room with him, let alone a bed. 
Yuta contemplated your words for a while, mulling a decision over. After a moment, he sighed, relenting. “Come here.”
That surprised you thoroughly. You were half expecting him to tell you that he didn’t give a damn and ask you what you wanted him to do about it. You took a few tentative steps over to him. 
Yuta quirked his brow, patting the spot beside him. His skin looked like honey in the golden-yellow hue of his lamplight. “What are you waiting for? Get in the bed.”
You hesitantly crawled into the bed, underneath his sheets. You were scared of something. You didn’t want to make any more mistakes when it came to him. 
Yuta could practically smell your fear like the musk of an animal. He couldn’t help it. He had seen all of your emotions, especially the ones you pretended not to have in front of others. And he knew them intimately.
He suppressed a smirk. Was it wrong to bask in it a little? “What are you scared of?” he asked. 
Those five words made you freeze, remembering where you had heard them before. That night you confessed your feelings to Yuta in a Yokohama hotel. “I’m not scared of anything,” you lied through your teeth. 
Yuta knew you were lying. He always did, after all. “Tell me the truth.”
You swallowed. He was always so good at reading you. The words were at the tip of your tongue, but you couldn’t say them. “I… didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“I’ve had women in my bed before, you know,” Yuta replied with a snicker. “I think I’ll be okay.”
You almost rolled your eyes, but then you started thinking about how many women had slept beside him since you weren’t in his life. Your mind was picturing Yuta with some faceless girl, giggling naked underneath the sheets as you had done three years too long ago. 
“Yeah, I know,” you grumbled, turning around with your back to him. “Goodnight.”
Yuta called out your name sternly. “Look at me.”
You slowly faced him. It was hard to look him in the eyes, but you did it anyway. You wanted to seize the control back. 
Never in a million years would you have assumed that of all things, Yuta would kiss you restlessly. You reciprocated without hesitation, falling into the kiss as if you were picking up where you’d left off. 
Yuta tangled his fingers through your hair, lips moving against yours with something that was dangerously close to pining. Your heart raced at the thought, wondering if he missed you the way you missed him. Three years was too long to be without the only man you’d ever loved. 
Full of surprises, Yuta pressed his mouth to your neck, sucking and nibbling and marking you as his possessively. He would never admit it to your face, but that was his intent. You couldn’t resist a moan. Yuta knew exactly what to do to get you falling apart in his arms and begging for more like you just couldn’t get enough. 
Your entire body burned with fever. Your eyes winced closed when Yuta sank his teeth into your flesh, the sensation teetering somewhere on that thin line between pain and pleasure. You knew he would leave behind a number of bruises by the time he was finished with you, and you weren’t complaining. 
Yuta had gotten a taste of you and now he couldn’t will himself to stop, against his better judgment. The part of him that wanted to loathe you with every fiber of his being would have to be put on hold for now. He wanted you too badly. His ever-growing resentment for you be damned. 
You missed kissing Yuta to the last breath. Your body remembered what it was like, tasting and sucking on each other’s tongues, and it started to shudder with excitement at the memory. Amongst other things. 
Yuta recognized the telltale signs of you becoming aroused and decided to take things a step further, testing the waters to see if they would slam him against rocks. He brought a hand to your thigh where he knew you were weak and defenseless, tenderly kneading the skin. 
Like clockwork, you were tensing underneath his hands, needily pressing your thighs together. Goddammit it, he still remembered what your weak spots were and how to use them to his advantage. There was something about his warm hand on your skin clashing with the cold nudge of his rings that made you shudder. 
“Yuta,” you called out, reaching your breaking point. 
He didn’t say anything, having too much fun teasing you and watching you get worked over something so simple. “Hm?”
You stifled an irritated groan. He knew exactly what you were going to say, and you knew he only wanted to hear it from your own mouth. “I want you,” you confessed, as if it wasn’t obvious. 
Yuta watched your face, recognizing the look of absolute dwindling patience, and chuckled. “You want me how?”
“However you want.”
Yuta’s eyes flickered in astonishment for all of two seconds. Given the circumstances, he hadn’t expected to hear you say you would let him have you however he wanted, but it damn sure did wonders to turn him on. More than he was already, that is. 
You were less surprised when Yuta stole another steamy and borderline erotic kiss, his hands settling firmly on your jaw instead of combing through your hair this time. His tongue in your mouth had your heart fluttering and your body scalding with relentless desire. 
Yuta withdrew from the kiss to toss his shirt above his head. You mirrored him, and in the few seconds it concealed his face from your view, you were oblivious to where his darkening gaze had sunk. It wasn’t until your shirt was cast into oblivion that you realized he was staring at your belly. 
You glanced down, having forgotten about the long red gunshot scar. You opened your mouth to speak, but Yuta beat you to a word. 
“Who did this to you?” he asked almost threateningly, switching on a dime. 
You shook your head, reaching out to soothe him. “Yuta, it was two years ago.”
“I’m not going to ask again.”
You sighed through your nose. The man responsible was already rotting in prison, for life most likely. You were satisfied. “Some guy named Levi Clark,” you told him. “He’s an American. It happened when I got invited to the States on a classified that went open.”
Yuta hummed. The response was nonchalant itself, but you could see the little gears turning in his head the way they always did when he was up to no good. 
“He’s in prison,” you continued, sensing it would be worth including. 
Yuta nodded. “Okay.”
Your brow raised with suspicion. “You’re not going to kill him, are you?”
Much, much worse, Yuta thought grimly to himself. But rather than have you worry your pretty little head off, he kissed the corner of your lips and lied, “Of course not.”
You didn’t believe him at all, not even for a half second, but you weren’t going to say anything. Especially not when he started to kiss his way down your body from your supple breasts to your inner thighs, making sure to be extra tender when his lips brushed against your scar. 
His lips sank even lower, fingers raveling in your underwear and yanking them below your ankles. They were right between your legs yet still not where you needed them, pressing sweet and slow kisses on your thighs, which was nothing like how you remembered him. Yuta was hard and fast. 
You let him have his way, kissing and biting at your sensitive thighs while knowing the sensation drove you wild, your body visibly exuding arousal. It was enough for him to effortlessly slip his fingers inside, but he didn’t dare, thumbing your nub with his hand solely to watch you writhe and squirm. 
“Yuta,” you called out, voice teetering toward a whimper. “Don’t tease.”
Yuta raised a brow, pretending to be confused. Like he wasn’t deliberately trying to get a rise out of you. “You said I could do whatever I want with you. And I want to watch you get worked up over me.”
“I know, but…,” you trailed. “Please?”
Yuta knew how much you hated begging, so for you to say please meant you didn’t just want him - you needed him like you needed blood in your veins. And it turned him on even crazier. 
He made a spur of the moment decision to get a hold of your hips and pull you onto him, making you sit on his face. You released a shaky noise when he began to suck and lick at your neglected bundle of nerves without warning, his hands gripping your thighs for purchase. 
Yuta ate you out skillfully, pressing all the right buttons. Literally. His tongue was giving your clit ample attention, expertly doing everything he knew to have you moaning loudly and riding his face for more. Your arms were on either side of his head, gripping the sheets for dear life. 
You could hardly breathe. You moaned a breathless, “Fuck,” as he continued to go to town, obviously keen on eating you out until you went limp and couldn’t keep yourself upright. 
Yuta gripped your thighs roughly, scraping them with his nails. He didn’t mind how they were suffocating him at the moment, the sides of your knees pressing into his head every time you tensed and shuddered. Yuta kept going, nose brushing against your clit every now and then. 
“Holy fuck. Shit. Fuck,” you swore, all other previously existing vocabulary exiting on the right. 
Yuta was satisfied by that reaction. You tended to do that when you felt too good - forget everything except him and his uncanny talent for making you unravel. Something about knowing he was more or less the only thing on your mind made his already stiff cock even harder. 
You needed this more right now than ever. You could physically feel the tension escaping your mind and body, unshackling your bones and letting you breathe. Even Yuta could tell you were in dire need of relief and he took it upon himself to make sure you got enough to make your toes curl. 
“Yuta…,” you whimpered, grinding into his mouth like nothing would ever satisfy you. 
Fuck’s sake, you were going to be the death of him. The way you called out Yuta’s name made him want to shove you onto his mattress to fuck the breath of you and then some. He resisted for now. Knowing how rough he could get, he wanted to be certain you were ready to take him. 
Your eyes were rolling to the back of your head. This was the first time in three years you had experienced sexual contact from another human being and it was safe to say you were touch-starved. Your entire body tremored with the excitement not only of being touched again, but of being flush against Yuta once more. 
Yuta couldn’t lie. Well, he could and he most definitely would try, but he’d missed you too. The romantic aspect of his longing aside, you were a goddess in his eyes and he always worshiped your body the way it deserved. Which, after long hours of being hard at work, you had never not appreciated. 
After having been with Yuta, you knew no one else would ever satisfy you or get you off how he did. You each had been with your fair share of sexual partners, but Yuta was the only one who ever made you see stars and the whole damn moon. When work got especially stressful, you always had urges, but you took care of yourself just fine. 
This was a far cry from just fine. This was mind-numbing pleasure that had you clinging onto his hair and whimpering his name over and over as if it was the only word you knew. As if he was the only thing you knew. 
“Yuta, I’m close,” you told him shakily. 
Yuta could tell, but hearing you say it made him push you off his mouth none too gently and onto the bed as he had wanted. When you whimpered in disapproval, Yuta playfully chided, “Don’t complain.”
Your core throbbed with need, but your eyes flitted between his handsome face and his beautiful v-line, wondering if you should’ve focused on how he licked your arousal from his lips or how hard he had gotten from getting you off as he shuffled out of his pants. 
Both. Both is good, you thought to yourself, licking your own lips. 
Once his clothes were off, Yuta knocked your thighs apart and gripped your jaw with one hand as he steered himself to your entrance with the other, growling, “Look at me.”
You did as told. You would steal a soul in a heartbeat for him if he so bade you. His dark eyes were staring into yours, watching your contorting face as he began to take you. And you watched him, tightening at the way his mouth hung open. 
Yuta noticed your eyes wincing closed as he filled you inch by inch and when he was fully seated inside you, he slackened his grip on your jaw in favor of your hair. “Keep your eyes open,” he told you assertively. “I don’t want you to miss a fucking second.”
You whimpered, but obliged him. Your eyes were tempted to water at the sensation of being stuffed full of his cock again and it didn’t take long for him to stretch you out. 
“Good girl,” Yuta said, smashing his lips against yours. It was the only time you were allowed to close your eyes and you did so immediately, kissing him like it was the last time. 
Yuta started to move, pressing himself in and out of your slick pussy with ease. You were so fucking wet and it was making him lose his mind. Your body took him back with every deep thrust, accepting him, little wet squelches echoing off the bedroom walls as his hips smacked into yours at a quick yet steady pace. 
You were in a different world. With Yuta’s weight dangling on top of you, you couldn’t help but fondly remember all the times you had been here before, all the times you had surrendered your body to him for him to do as he pleased. You were another person with Yuta. Someone free and wild and reckless. 
For a long time, you thought that version of you was dead and buried. But here she was, eating her heart out for him, ready to kill for him if he so asked.
“Oh my fuck,” you moaned almost at the top of your lungs, grabbing Yuta’s shoulders to anchor yourself, as if you were afraid of sinking too far without him. 
Yuta lowered his head to your chest and began to cover every inch of your naked breasts with love marks that eventually would fade a dark color. They stung vaguely, but Yuta knew you were a sucker for pain and he was more than happy to give it to you. 
You didn’t feel human anymore. Rather, you felt like two feral and ravenous animals in a back and forth game of trying to intimidate and tame one another, clinging onto your survival instincts like they were all you had left. You would never back down, but you would never give chase either. You just kept taking turns circling each other in the wild. 
Yuta wanted to deny the hold you still had on him, but the second he felt the way you throbbed and tightened around his cock, he knew he would forever be a slave to his feelings for you. He continued fucking you at this pace, nice and hard, deep and fast. “Fuck,” he groaned. 
You yanked his hair and pulled him onto you, stringing your legs around his hips to keep him close as you kissed him endlessly, never wanting to cease your hold on his body that burned with sweat and insatiable hunger. Kissing it better again. You wanted to be sore when he was done with you, to feel the leftover ache of him in your very bones. 
“You’re so damn beautiful,” Yuta grumbled when your lips separated, almost as if he was upset about it. You had enticed him like a siren, lured him to a death he would die a million times for another night with you. 
You weakly shook your head, but grinned at the compliment. “That’s all you,” you whispered, slowly trailing your fingers down his back. 
Yuta could see it in your eyes that you were right there, on the edge he’d dragged you almost over, but not close enough to let you slip. This time he would give it to you. He wanted to make you come on his cock, pulsing with climax. Sex was power to him. He loved being in control of your pleasure, knowing that it was entirely dependent upon him. 
You didn’t even have to tell him you were close. Yuta got a hold of your throat and limited your air flow, craning his head to whisper in your ear, “Come, baby. Come all over my cock.”
It was almost instantaneous. In a matter of seconds you were crash-landing from the atmosphere and slowly grounding yourself back into the hard rough dirt. You suddenly shuddered with orgasm, clasping his hair in your hands and sharply crying out his name. 
Yuta chuckled, knowing that would happen. In a weird way, it was comforting to know that all his old tricks still worked on you, that he still knew your body as if it was his own. “That’s my girl,” he sang with satisfaction. 
You had barely recovered from your climax when Yuta pulled out and flipped you over, then buried himself some inches deep inside you again all within a blink. “Oh my god,” you stammered, tangling your hands in the silk sheets and thick blankets. 
His hips moved quicker than ever, roughly fucking you into the mattress while he chased relief, and you loved every second of it. There would never be a time where you wouldn’t be happy in allowing Yuta to use your body as a means of getting off. 
Yuta smacked your ass and the sound of your soft whimpers made his dick twitch with excitement. He willed himself to pull out of you and finished himself with his hand, a stripe of his cum landing on your back as he groaned deliciously in climax. 
“Stay still,” Yuta said after taking a pause to catch his breath, pulling his pants back up to his hips and meandering towards the bathroom. 
Not that you had any intention of moving as much as an inch. He had literally fucked the will to do anything out of you. You were going to lay right there on his bed where you had fallen limp until further notice. 
Yuta returned with a damp cloth to wipe his release off your back. His shirt was still on the floor and he didn’t seem like he was eager to put it back on. You staggered to the bathroom to clean yourself and the moment you came back you collapsed on the mattress. 
“Goodnight,” you whispered, getting comfortable on the opposite side of the bed. 
Yuta switched off the lamp on his nightstand and did the same, heart still trembling with the afterhighs of what you had done together. Or maybe it was out of affection. “Goodnight.”
It didn’t take long for you to drift off. You were sated, and it was all the relaxation needed to put you to sleep. 
When you woke up in the morning, admittedly somewhat later than normal, Yuta was no longer perched on your side. Your heart throbbed a little with ache, but you ignored it. This was Yuta Nakamoto, for fuck’s sake. You should have expected less.
You found your shorts and slipped them back on, more or less limping out of his bedroom to the kitchen where you figured Yuta would be hiding. And you were right. There he was with his morning coffee. He looked right at you for half a second, but said nothing.
Fine, asshole. If you won’t, then I will, you huffed to yourself, tenacious. “Good morning,” you said to him, leaning onto the counter. 
“Morning,” Yuta replied quietly. 
“Is something wrong?” you asked. You had trouble believing that was all he had to give after the night you’d shared together. 
“Hm?”
You shrugged your shoulders, feigning nonchalance, but you both knew what you were getting at and you were trying to play your cards accordingly. “I just feel like you’re keeping yourself from me.”
Yuta played dumb. For now. “What makes you say that?” 
You stifled a groan of frustration. His passive aggressive behavior was starting to get on your nerves. You would take direct confrontation over this if it meant he would stop hiding his heart from you. You knew he had something to say to you, which only made this all the more unbearable. 
“You know why,” you replied, snappier. “You’re acting like nothing has happened.”
Yuta sipped from his coffee, barely a single thing off in his composure. “Am I?”
You studied him, looking for a defect in his perfectly crafted demeanor, some hint or clue as to his genuine emotions. You didn’t buy his indifference. “Yes, you are. Is there something you want to say?”
“What do you want me to say?” Yuta retorted, continuing this back and forth game. The game of survival. “It meant nothing. You looked like you needed it. I was just lending a helping hand.”
You didn’t want to believe him, because that would mean you were alone in the memories, in the thoughts of what you had together once upon a time, so close to a happy ever after. “You seem to be really into helping me, for whatever reason,” you mumbled, suspicious. 
The doubtful undertones in your voice weren't lost on Yuta. He knew you were trying to figure him out and check him for ulterior motives. “Is that a crime, miss undercover?”
You groaned exasperatedly. “God’s sake, Yuta. Just spit it out. What do you want from me?”
“Nothing,” Yuta lied, rinsing his cup out in the sink and placing it gently into the cabinets before stepping out. 
You exhaled loudly. He had no reason to be this goddamn difficult when he was perfectly capable of speaking about his feelings like a normal human. Like hell you were going to put up with his insufferable bullshit. Did he expect you to be some kind of fucking mind reader? 
Five minutes later, almost the very second you had set your mind on following and confronting him, Yuta whirled back into the kitchen, hissing, “Why didn’t you look for me?”
Your eyes flickered with shock. “What?”
Yuta was too fed up to tolerate you playing dumb. He didn’t raise his voice, but he was firm as ever. “Don’t play dumb. You let me fade away. You never looked. Why?”
The anger disappeared from your body for a second, and guilt swept over in its place. “I thought you were dead.”
Yuta shook his head, unaccepting. “That’s not good enough. Your boss is more than likely dead, but you’re still risking your life to find him.”
You stayed quiet, unsure of yourself. Why didn’t you look? Were you leaping at the opportunity to undo the damage you’d caused by eating the forbidden fruit?
“Did I ever mean anything to you? Anything at all, dear?” Yuta pressed, approaching you like he was trying to intimidate you. To make you fear him. “Or was I a pawn in your perpetual pursuit of justice?”
In any other circumstances, you would have been amused by how poetic he sounded, in spite of how sharp his voice was. But you couldn’t bring yourself to laugh. “Yuta, you were never a pawn. You were so much more.”
Yuta grabbed your hair, but he didn’t yank. He simply held it firmly in his hands and tilted your head up to look at him. “Did you use me?”
“We used each other,” you whispered. 
“No, no, no, dear,” Yuta sang almost sweetly. “You did all the using. You got what you wanted from me and left me for dead. That’s the cold hard truth, isn’t it?”
“You know it’s not,” you said, reaching out to grasp his shoulder. 
Yuta snapped, “Then, what is?”
You were rooted in memory, traveling back in time three years. The last dance. The underground fighting gang in Japan you’d hunted like prey and chance met Yuta. The same gang had killed one of his own and he planned on exacting his revenge. In his own way, he had also been undercover.
The case was essentially over and it wouldn’t have been possible without Yuta’s help. After a typical long night of your bodies meeting, you had woken up one day to him gingerly prying himself out of your arms, whispering apologies for waking you and something about how he was going to head over to the fight club. 
You didn’t think it would be the last time you ever saw him. The opposite. You smiled in his burly arms as he veered down and gave you one final kiss of affection, daydreaming of how you would keep your illicit affair a secret from the law and betray your oath. 
The next thing you knew, you were receiving a call about how the entire fight club had burned to a crisp. With a handsome number of people in it. Your heart thundered in your chest and you waited all day for Yuta to return, but when morning came and he still didn’t show, you assumed he never would. 
But duty still called. You successfully carried out an operation that culminated in an ungodly number of convictions. You got your glory and fame. And only after mourning him for months did you slap on a brave face and pretend Yuta never meant anything to you. 
“You want to know the truth?” you asked, fighting tears as your temper rose. You had things to get off your chest too. “The truth is that I mourned a loss that never happened and when I saw you standing there, perfectly fucking fine, I thought I saw a ghost. Now you’re punishing me for grieving you and I can’t take that shit.”
Yuta rolled his eyes. “Don’t play the victim. We both know that if you wanted to look for me, you would have. You didn’t. Your work is all that ever mattered. It still is.”
That cut deep. Is that really what he thought of you, after all this time? That you only cared about money and power?
You stepped away from him, recoiling. “That hurts, you know.”
“The truth tends to do that sometimes.”
You shook your head in disbelief and laughed hollowly. “Is this seriously all you can bring yourself to say? After I thought you were dead for three years?”
Yuta shot back, “And I thought you didn’t care about me for three years. Who has it worse?”
Running your hand through your hair, you sighed exasperatedly and asked him, “Does it have to be a fucking competition?”
“Yes.”
This was more complicated than any case you had ever solved. It was impossible to wrap your head around in spite of how desperately you longed to make sense of this. “Why are you faulting me for this?” you asked, paralyzing. “You could have come to me, you know.”
“I didn’t want to get in the way of your work,” Yuta said, a hint of something rueful in his voice, but it was gone in a flicker. 
Now it was your turn to roll your eyes. “Stop doing this. Stop making it seem like everything you do is for my sake. Like you never had bad intentions.”
Yuta simmered with frustration. Was it genuinely so hard to believe that he cared about you? You were everything he ever wanted and everything he never had.
“Oh, I had intentions,” Yuta replied with a chuckle. “I had intentions of whisking you away and taking you across the world with me. Intentions of showing you off to my friends and doing everything I could to see you smile. But you had me fooled, baby. You manipulated me.”
You shook your head vigorously. “I did not!” 
“You did,” Yuta hissed. “I have to commend you, sweetheart. It’s not often someone tricks me the way you did. You really were something else.”
The tension in the room was becoming too much even for someone as strong as yourself and you crumbled underneath the surface, loudly confessing, “I couldn’t do it!”
Yuta paused, caught off guard. He had been slowly pushing you to the edge, but he wasn’t expecting you to break. “You couldn’t do what?” he asked. 
You inhaled a few deep breaths, knowing you were on the verge of tears and not wanting to sob in front of him. “I couldn’t move into your world and out of mine, over and over. I wanted to, but I knew the guilt would eat me alive. It had to be one or the other. And when you died, or when I thought you did, I mean, I thought the universe had made the choice for me.”
That only made things worse. You had essentially just admitted you were never going to allow yourself to be with him, dead or alive. “Is that why you never looked?”
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, outstretching your hand to grab his, but he wouldn’t let you.
Yuta bristled. He loved you more than anything, but right now, he hated your guts. “You’re not sorry. You made your choice.”
And you were regretting it more and more by the second, wondering how you could account for lost time. “A choice I don’t resonate with anymore.”
Yuta had no sympathy. “That’s too bad. The damage has already been done. So just double down and bleed me dry like you always have, and we can both move the fuck on.”
The gears were starting to turn in your head, quicker and quicker. “That’s what this is about?” you asked, everything finally starting to click. “You want to see if I’ll take advantage of you?”
Yuta crept closer, running his fingers over your cheek almost with affection. Your body caved instantaneously, but your mind couldn’t fall for it. “I want to see exactly how far you’re willing to go to help your boss. The things you’ll do, the lies you’ll tell. The truths you’ll bury. I want to see you for what you really are.”
You were sick and tired of him acting as if he knew everything and snapped, “What am I then? Please enlighten me.”
“The death of me,” Yuta replied, seconds before closing the tiny gap between your bodies and kissing you. No matter how greatly he despised you, the weight of his desire would always overpower. 
Your lips moved in fearless sync as you kissed each other breathless, as if you were in a competition to see who would suck the life out of the other first. But until one of you died, you traced your hands along any bare skin you could set your fingers on and held onto each other’s bodies, keeping yourselves close.  
At least when you were like this, the odds evened out. You made Yuta insane with your body and he made you arch into his hot touches. You breathed a little less when he touched you and he died a little more when you pushed him to his high’s end. Then you brought him back to life and took his soul all over again. There was no losing or winning here. Only life or death. 
Without warning, Yuta gripped your hips and hoisted you onto the counter. You gasped, clasping his shoulders. He stole your shorts from underneath you and yanked them down your ankles, tossing them into the deep end, and stuck a hand between your legs to feel your arousal growing around his fingers, a deep, guttural sound springing from the back of his throat when he felt how wet you were from his kisses.
“Yuta,” you called out, running your hands down his chest from his shoulders. “Fuck me.”
“No.” 
You gawked. The next thing you knew, he had one hand around your throat and the other pressing a knife against it. “You don’t get to be the boss of me anymore. You lost that privilege. You don’t get to control me,” he said, cold as stone. “You don’t get to act like I’m yours.”
The knife flush against your neck did nothing to unnerve you. None of your survival instincts were on edge. Your muscles weren’t tense. Your breath was mostly level. You asked coyly, “Aren’t you?”
Yuta clenched his jaw. You were right and he knew it. He was completely and thoroughly owned by you - mind, body, and soul. And heart. No matter what lengths he went to deny it, you were his salvation. In beautiful life and in sweet death. 
“No. You have to earn it,” he told you, quiet but fierce. 
For the time being, you played submissive. You already knew he was eating from the palm of your hand, all yours. There was nothing left to secure, but you wanted to appease him. “How can I earn it?”
Yuta stamped the knife harder against your throat, not enough to draw blood, but enough to keep you still and pliant. “When you said you loved me, did you mean it?”
You thought back to all those little memories, swimming around in the deep end of your mind. There weren’t many times you’d whispered the three word confession into his ears, but that made it all the more special. You remembered all of them. Walking through those secluded streets of your dropsite, hand in hand. Shielding your face in his chest as he fucked you within an inch of your life. Waking up in his arms the morning after. 
When you had sex last night, it took everything in you not to say you loved him. Your heart broke itself with the effort. “Yes. I would draw blood for you.” 
That still wasn’t enough. Yuta knew you could be ruthless if pushed. He wanted to know where your love for him started and ended. And truth be told, he didn’t want it to end. He wanted it to overflow. “Would you die for me?” he pressed.
You exhaled, “In a heartbeat.”
That was the right answer. Yuta briefly forewent the knife and slackened his grip on your throat, unfastening his pants just enough to take out his stiffening cock. You gripped it in your hands and pumped him fully hard in no time at all. With a painfully hard cock, needy and aching for you, Yuta gently brushed your hands away and slowly coaxed himself inside. 
You gripped the bottom edge of the counter when he was finally rooted inside to the hilt. Yuta began to move and when he found a comfortable, hard pace, his hand leapt for his knife again, dragging it against your skin. 
Yuta had ample opportunity to hurt you, time after countless time. Yet he never had any more than you’d asked for. You could be staring death squarely in the eye and not an inch of you would paralyze with fear as long as Yuta was there to hold you tight.
You liked to pretend you were fearless, but Yuta made you feel like you really were. I can do anything as long as I have him. He’s my strength and my empire. The whole world doesn’t stand a chance against us. And we’ll burn it to ashes for trying. 
“I…,” Yuta started, his breath distant and faint. “Would die a million deaths for you.”
These kinds of confessions stopped startling you a long time ago. Yuta was intense and deep, and passionate. When he loved, he loved till the last minute. “I would bring you back every time,” you told him, shuddering. 
“What if you couldn’t?”
“Then I’ll follow you to hell close behind,” you whispered, clasping onto his forearms. You wanted to hold him until kingdom come, and you had every intention of doing so. 
Yuta was conflicted. The result of you tearing his heart in more than two pieces. Part of him wanted to resent you forever, to tell you to fuck off and stop toying with his imperfect feelings. Another was ready to stain the walls in blood, not yours, if it came to keeping you close. And the other accepted that you were the only woman in the world who could manipulate him, but chose not to. 
It wasn’t just the sex that made him weak, but it sure did help. You were tightening around him like a noose, taking his cock like a champ as you had done countless times in the past, and Yuta wanted to reward you for it in any way you wished. If you asked for the universe, he could pull a few strings. 
“You’re mine,” Yuta said possessively, teasing the knife down every available inch of your bare flesh. He was wholeheartedly obsessed with you and he would continue to be for as long as he breathed. “Tell me you’re mine.”
“You’re mine,” you taunted in between soft moans, attempting to hide the flutter of your heart. “And I’m yours.”
Yuta was burning alive with his own passion, scalding from the inside out. “Fuck,” he grunted, tossing the knife into the sink. “You drive me crazy, you know that?”
“I know,” you whispered. 
“You own me.”
“I know that too.”
“You wanna know what you don’t know?” Yuta asked through pants, but he wasn’t stopping. Not until you were both surely sated. “Not a second went by where I didn’t think of you. Of what you were doing and who you belonged to.”
Well, I know now, you thought to yourself, but the admission drove you mad. You couldn’t help but wonder what thoughts kept him up at night in your wake. Did he picture your face whenever he got hard? Did he pretend he was inside you when he fucked his fist until he came?
“I’ve always belonged to you,” you told him sincerely. You wanted to kiss him again, but you held back for now. 
Another groan sprung from the pit of his throat and he put a tightening grip on your throat. “Say it again.”
Your legs wrapped around him, wanting him more in spite of the lack of blood flow. Wanting him deeper. “I belong to you. And only you, Yuta,” you rasped. 
The way you said his name had him reeling. With how you reacted to every graze of his fingers, light or rough, Yuta knew there was a throbbing void in you being filled at last now that he was in your possession once more. It was the same dark and empty void in him. “I hate you,” he hissed, slapping his hips into you harder. “For making me love you when you never cared about me.”
You had been taken aback by his words, but eased a little with relief when he finished his statement. Only a little. “That’s a lie.”
“Admit it. Admit you never cared,” Yuta barked. His grip on your throat was harsher and he had another calloused hand winding your hair around his fingers.  
You couldn’t say that. It wasn’t true. “I was wrong,” you choked out instead, face tensing in a heavenly blend of pain and pleasure. “And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Yuta.”
Yuta all but stilled when he heard you say those words. Finally a fucking apology. And now he was going to make you beg. Or better yet, he was going to see if you meant it. 
You gasped loudly when Yuta abruptly pulled out of you and hauled you off the counter into his burly arms, carrying you to the living room. You clung to him tightly the entire time, although you knew Yuta would never let you fall. He sat you on the couch, sitting beside you to your right, and pulled you onto him. “Prove it.”
Yuta watched you grip his cock and steer him to your entrance without hesitation. Like it was routine. You made a high-pitched noise when he penetrated you again and clawed at his chest and shoulders for purchase, prepared to give him every ounce of your strength and vigor. 
You watched his face contorting with ecstasy, not minding the way your nails dug into him. Yuta had always been the bigger pain freak. Your legs still ached with the passion of him and they would even more when you were finished with him, but you didn’t care. You rode him to hell and back. 
“Fuck. Holy fuck,” Yuta swore, watching you bounce on top of him with a vengeance. He should have known that when he told you to prove it, you would take that as a challenge. He cursed your name between expletives. “Slow down.”
You smiled contentedly, proud of yourself for ruining him to the bare bone. This was a man that prided himself on power and control, so snatching it from underneath him surely gave you an ego boost. “You wimping out on me, babe?”
Yuta mumbled something under his breath. More dirty words, certainly. He wanted to fight it, yet he couldn’t help but surrender. “No.”
“Then, take it,” you hissed, grabbing his jaw gently and stealing his lips in a hot kiss. Yuta’s fingers bruised your hips as your lips met with a reverberating wet sound.  
Yuta looked dizzy from lust and pleasure, and passion when you pulled away from his lips in favor of his neck, sucking and nipping at the raw empty flesh. His breath went faint as you left your mark. He was moaning like a bitch underneath you, overwhelmed by your mouth on his skin and his cock in your warmth. 
It was taking a toll on him, making him shake and bite his swollen, bleeding lip. “Stop. I’m gonna come, baby,” he said breathlessly. 
“Come inside me,” you told him softly, riding him even harder. You wanted to finish him. 
Yuta’s throat went dry at your words and he couldn’t stop the indescribably erotic noise that escaped him. He had fucked you raw more than once, but he had never been allowed to fuck you full of his cum. Now you were handing him the privilege on a silver platter and he was about to come on the spot like a virgin.
Your hips smacked down against him, brutal and quick. Yuta couldn’t help but thrust up into you, matching your movements with the intention of finishing you and himself. You were bruising and breaking beneath his rough hands, but it didn’t matter. He would seam you back together. 
It quickly became more than he could handle and Yuta came with a groan of your name plus an additional slew of curses, his body writhing from the hot sensations. His eyes went wide when you kept riding him at this rough and hard pace, chasing your own climax. 
You hummed, satisfied. That’s it, baby. You might not want to say it to my face, but your body has never lied. You are just as owned by me as I am by you. You are bound to me by a ball and chain. 
Not far behind him, you shuddered with orgasm from the constant pounding of his cock against your sweet spot driving you over the edge. Yuta could feel you throbbing and pulsing around him and it drew him another deep noise from him. You went slack, draping your arms over his shoulders, and felt his cum leak from your cunt. 
You weren’t in any hurry to move. Yuta was as close as humanly possible, every inch of himself buried inside your pussy, and you wanted to keep him there indefinitely. You tilted his jaw, watching his cute face. “Are you tired?” you asked softly. 
Yuta scoffed, as if he couldn’t believe you were asking him that. Though you knew he always had more to give you. “We just fucked for an hour.”
“What are you talking about? We spent most of the past hour arguing.”
“That was foreplay.”
You burst into laughter. That was a very Yuta-esque answer. “For you, maybe,” you murmured. 
Yuta arched his brow. “Oh, really now? Then please explain why you were so wet by the time I’d only kissed you. Riddle me that, beautiful.”
“There’s a simple explanation,” you said, in spite of knowing you had none. None too inclined to admit it to him, you opted to kiss him again instead, still holding onto his jaw the entire time. 
Yuta let you get away with it just this once, hands roaming your back underneath your shirt. It was still damp with sweat and the thought of licking away every last drop with his tongue made Yuta stifle a groan. Most likely for the best. The sound would have made you clamp around him if you heard it. 
And you would’ve fucked him all day long if you could, but duty called and though the state of your relationship with Yuta was mending, you still had other problems to solve. 
After a makeout session that lasted way longer than intended, you both begrudgingly retreated to your separate rooms. You had work to do, and Yuta needed time to think about what you meant to him. 
You were surprised to receive a call from the station a few hours later, recognizing the number though it was unsaved. Figuring it was probably about the names Yuta had given you, you answered the phone. “Hello?”
“I’ve got news,” came Ten’s voice. You knew from his grim tone that it was nothing good. 
You sighed. “The bad kind, I’m assuming.”
“We identified a body today on the side of the highway. It’s Kun.”
You were silent for a long moment. No words would come. You weren’t surprised he was dead, but the fact that you couldn’t deny it anymore stung. 
Ten knew you were hurting, but he continued, “He was mostly bones. He’s been dead for months. And before you ask how we know it’s him, he died in uniform. His badge says his name.”
“Any idea what the cause of death is?” you forced yourself to ask. 
“Forensics are running tests right now, but we’re pretty confident it was a gunshot wound,” Ten told you softly. “He had a single one to the head. He didn’t suffer.”
“How nice of them,” you replied, but your voice was armed with pained sarcasm. It didn’t make sense. Why kill a man and release his body three months after the fact? 
“I know that’s not what you wanted to hear, but I have something else to tell you,” Ten said, quiet as a mouse. 
You swallowed your darkness and listened. No matter what, it was paramount that you found the bastard who did this. And, if given the chance, ripped their head off. “Yes?”
Ten’s voice was soft, as if he was telling you a secret of some foul nature. “There was a witness description that matched one of the guys I saw you ran through the database last night. But he’s been locked up for a couple of days. There’s no way it’s him.”
You hummed in confusion. “That’s suspicious as hell. Who gave the witness description?”
“Some random truck driver,” Ten replied, obviously none too convinced. “We’ve tried interviewing him about it, but he insists that’s who he saw and that he’s not being bought or coerced in any way into giving false statements.”
You didn’t buy it. Not even for one second. It was literally impossible for someone who was currently in custody to have dropped off a body on the side of the highway. And if he had a solid alibi, there was clearly someplace else you needed to look. “He’s lying like hell. And he’s likely being intimidated. The question is, who has that kind of power?”
Ten took a wild guess. “A gang.”
You glanced in the direction of Yuta’s bedroom, as if you were trying to signal him through the wall. You had believed him when he said that the Reapers didn’t kill cops, but a situation like this required the influence akin to the kind a gang would have. “That’s true, but I think we can rule out the Reapers.”
“You have an informant?” You could hear the confusion in Ten’s voice. 
I have something much better, you said solely to yourself. “Something like that, yes. I think we’re looking in the wrong place. Or maybe there’s a part of the picture we’re missing.”
Ten hummed, clearly deep in thought. “What about the Brotherhood?”
“What about them?”
“I know these two gangs have conflicts about their drug territories and the like. Kun was investigating the Reapers’ involvement in a few drug deals gone south, but we know now that it was the Brotherhood’s mark.”
That was a valid point. The instance was one of many crimes Kun had been looking into, but it could have been his unlucky ticket to death. He had investigated crimes involving the Reapers and promptly went missing, which turned you to the same gang. Though as it turned out, it was the Brotherhood’s responsibility. 
What if this whole time, you had been looking into the wrong criminal empire?
“That… changes a lot of things,” you replied, connecting the dots in your head. 
“I have to go, but remember it’s just a hunch. Don’t get unmotivated. Keep looking,” Ten said encouragingly. “Someone will check in with you tomorrow as usual.”
“I’ll be looking forward to it,” you murmured. 
Before you could hang up, Ten called out your name one last time and added, “Be careful, okay?”
“I will,” you reassured him, not wanting him to worry too hard. You knew the loss of one prominent member of your team put additional stress upon the safety of the others. And with that, you bid each other goodbye. 
Yuta had a few errands to run the next day and as protocol decreed, you had to tag along with him. Nothing too dramatic. You imagined that with the gang’s current focus being on determining the next course of action to take against their rival, Yuta was more useful here rather than going from country to country eliminating threats.
His job was much like yours in that regard. Your former one, at least. You bounced from place to place, no one location being too safe, taking on new identities in foreign cities. In the middle of almost losing sense of who you were, all in exchange for recognition and praise, Yuta had been the one to sweep you off your feet and help you remember. 
That was why it hurt so much when he was gone. You lost him, and you lost yourself. He had reminded you how beautiful love was, how liberating it was to not think of the aftermath of missions. With every heartless criminal you locked away, another piece of your soul chipped away too. 
Yuta had made you realize that you weren’t broken. You were still whole and you still had a soul. And you knew, because you had bore it to him. 
You snapped out of your memories when you heard the car door click open and quickly close beside you. Yuta handed you a dark sheath, made of leather. “This is for you,” he said quietly. “If you still use them, that is.”
“I still use them,” you told him with a nod, unsuccessfully ignoring the way your chest flooded with warmth. He remembered. 
“Good,” Yuta said, fastening his seat belt around his waist. “And by the way, we’re not going home like I thought we were. I just got a call. We’re having an impromptu meeting.”
You stifled a groan, none too eager to sit around outside while the higher-ups had private discussions behind a glass door. But you said nothing as Yuta pulled out of the parking lot. 
Though as you followed him through the building to the designated door on the far end of the hallway, you complained, “I just don’t understand what you guys are talking about that you didn’t get done in the past two meetings this week.”
“This is important. And besides, I don’t make the rules, baby,” Yuta replied, totally amused but hiding it with a poker face. “He does.”
The man in question was already patiently sitting at the head of the table with a poker face that could kill if he tried hard enough. Lee Taeyong, you recognized. The leader. 
His second-in-command was right beside him and with Yuta being third, he didn’t hesitate to snag a seat directly across from Johnny. The only thing that surprised you was Yuta dragging you inside, seating you squarely beside him in a chair of your own. 
It wasn’t long until the room filled with enough high-ranks to make anyone nervous and after doing a mental headcount, you quickly realized all eight of them had come.
Taeyong seemed to be doing the same count and once he counted an adequate number of heads, excluding yours, he spoke up loudly. “Yuta, was it necessary to bring her?”
“Yes,” Yuta chirped without explanation. 
“Alright, then,” Taeyong said swiftly, commanding total attention with the tone of his voice alone. “Now that we’re all here, firstly I wanted to apologize for calling last minute. I realize you are all busy with your respective responsibilities. But in light of recent events, I want to extend our incognito another week.”
Haechan nodded in approval. He was the head of their prostitution business. “Good idea. The ladies are scared shitless. They don’t wanna work and I’ll raise hell if anything happens to them.”
“This is slowing down our income,” Doyoung chimed in, disgruntled. Likely thing for the guy in charge of money laundering to say. “We can’t make money if we’re all hiding. We need to fight fire with fire.”
“We've been trading hits back and forth. What more do you want?” Johnny asked. 
Doyoung shrugged. “We need to do something that will make them realize we’re not to be fucked with. Right now, they think they have the upper hand.”
Yuta shook his head. “No, they don’t. This all started because of drugs. It’s common knowledge that we own the market around here. If they weren’t intimidated, they wouldn’t have made any moves.”
“Then what do you suggest, Nakamoto?”
“I agree that we need to blow all their heads clean off,” Yuta replied like it was the most normal response ever. “But for the right reasons.”
Jaemin was the hacker and he didn’t exactly understand why he was here. Or why they were arguing. “I don’t really think it matters what the reason is. We need to stop them willingly or by force.”
Yangyang groaned. He was the one directly over the gang’s entire drug trafficking operation and you could imagine he was none too pleased. “Our drug operation is our most lucrative branch and they’re not touching that. We’re fine.”
Haechan insisted, “My ladies still need to work. And I’m not letting them until it’s safe for them to do so.”
Doyoung half-agreed, “The ladies need to work so we can make as much money as possible. This incognito is only hindering us.”
“My guys are dying,” Jaehyun announced. “If we lift the incognito, imagine how many more of us will be dead.”
Taeyong exhaled a sigh, rubbing his temple. You resisted a laugh. They were stressing each other out when every last one of their problems could be solved if the Brotherhood was removed from the picture. 
Noticing his boss’ exhaustion, Johnny changed the topic. “The incognito aside, we’re still not fine. I’ve been hearing that the police chief who was investigating us and disappeared before we could pay him off was found dead. Now it looks like we’ve got cop blood on our hands.”
Yuta deadpanned, “Exactly what we needed.”
You tried not to stiffen as Johnny mentioned your boss. Then you thought deeply about his words and reflected on the phone call you had with your co-worker last night, and your blood went cold. You mentally chastised yourself for not thinking of it before. 
Yuta raised his brow at you when he felt you attempting to subtly capture his attention. You mouthed, “Outside.”
You stood up abruptly and he excused himself, following behind you.
 When you were both on the opposite side of the door, you asked, “What exactly happens when you collectively sign off on decisions?”
Yuta was taken aback by your question, but gave an honest response. “The eight of us gather around, much like right now, and try to make a unanimous vote.”
“I’m assuming that doesn’t happen often?”
“No, it doesn’t,” Yuta replied, tempted to chuckle. “What’s this all about, baby?”
Now completely certain they had nothing to do with it, you took a deep breath, revealing, “I don’t know why it’s just now hitting me, but I think you’re being framed.”
Yuta didn’t seem surprised. “Are you sure?”
You slowly wound a hand through your hair. “I don’t know, but all the evidence points to this gang. Not just the fact that you were the last thing my boss investigated before he died. As it turns out, one of the cases he was looking into was the Brotherhood’s work. When he was found dead yesterday, we got a witness description identical to one of the guys you gave me.”
Yuta furrowed his brow. “You’ve lost me.”
“Yuta, that guy has been in jail for three days now.”
You watched the shock color his face in real time. “Who in the hell gave the witness description?”
“It was a truck driver,” you told him, remembering the conversation you had over the phone. “He was obviously lying and my co-worker and I think he’s either being paid or pressured. But we thought about who would have that kind of sway over someone.”
“A fucking gang,” Yuta finished for you, bristling with frustration. His hand was on his head, attempting to think this over. 
You felt guilty somehow. Like you should have known this was coming. 
The second Yuta turned to the door, prepared to come armed with news that would surely anger his co-workers to no end, you both heard gunshots echo out from downstairs. Instinctively, Yuta pulled you into his arms without a care, glancing around. “What the hell?”
You shuddered, words suddenly resounding in your memory, and chided yourself for being too stupid to not comprehend them until it was too late. Everybody knows the best time to strike is when they’re all together.
They were all together. 
“They’re coming,” you whispered.
“Do you have the knife I gave you?” Yuta asked, borderline frantic. You had never seen him so worried. 
You nodded wordlessly. 
“Thank god. We gotta go,” Yuta replied swiftly, not wasting a breath to get a hold of your arm and lead you down the hallway. You heard his co-workers barreling out the conference room from behind. 
You let Yuta steer you away, trusting him wholeheartedly. He knew this building better than you did, and better than his opponents did. That was his advantage. 
Moving door through door with you in his arms, Yuta clasped onto your body like the thought of letting you go would send a shiver down his spine, gentle enough to cause you no pain yet firm enough to keep you exactly where he wanted. You both remembered what happened the last time you were separated. 
The thought made you shudder. Second turning into minutes, minutes turning into hours as you’d waited for him to come back. For a goddamn phone call. Something. Anything that would indicate he was still alive. 
Like he could sense your prevailing thoughts, Yuta stopped you, glancing both ways like a child crossing the street, and whispered, “Listen to me, baby. I’m right here. Okay?”
“I know,” you replied, quiet as a mouse. Your natural instincts were flaring up and your whole body was tempted to paralyze with fear, but none for you. Only for him. 
“We’re going to make it out of here. I know we will.”
You believed him, but for safe measure, you grabbed his face in your palms and pressed your lips against his feverishly. Yuta kissed you back without restraint, his hold on your smaller frame tightening more with every passing moment. It felt like seconds until it was over and though you wanted more, you knew you had to settle. 
When he heard a noise emerging from a none too distant hall, Yuta reached for your hand and continued to drag you towards the closest exit he knew. You did your best to keep up with his hurried steps, almost tripping over your own legs every step of the way. 
Even more gunshots echoed against the walls, too close for comfort, and rather than potentially rush into something dangerous, Yuta caged you behind him as you hid on the opposite side of the closest available corner. You were able to cock your head just long enough to see a figure dressed in all black, their head cloaked in a beastlike mask. 
Brothers. 
There were masculine wails and screams everywhere. You recognized the sound of death and chaos when it touched your ears, and it made you cling to Yuta harder. The only thing you didn’t know was whether or not it was the blood of his gang members or his rivals staining the walls. 
“They’ve got this bitch surrounded,” Yuta murmured irritably under his breath.
That wasn’t reassuring at all. “Then what’s the plan? If we can’t leave, then what are we gonna do?”
You could see a flicker of something dark flicker in Yuta’s eyes, followed by something like resignation, and you knew what it meant instantly. “We have to fight.”
Fight didn’t startle you. Your hand immediately went for its weapon. Flight was officially off the table. 
This was a full-blown war. 
Yuta poked his head around the corner. When the coast was clear, he took you down another corridor, a touch darker than the others. You recognized the hallway and knew you were close to the rear side of the building. 
You didn’t see it. Not until it was too late. And by the time you heard it, there was already a brawny pair of arms wound viciously around Yuta’s neck, yanking him back with force. He dropped his weapon, reaching up behind him out of instinct, and endeavored to pry his attacker’s bloody, calloused hands off. 
“Yuta!” you called out. You didn’t hesitate to go after him, but another person snuck up behind you and put your wrists in a vice-like grip behind your back, dragging you off into another room as you desperately tried to writhe out their arms. 
The last thing you heard was Yuta shouting for you before the door slammed closed in your face. 
Your body tensed with the anger of a heartbroken woman at being separated once more from your lover, who you knew would move mountains to see you again - or die trying. And you would never, ever let that happen. 
In the split second of freedom you had while the faceless enemy locked the door, you snatched the blade Yuta had given you from its sheath and sprung into action, landing an unexpected attack in the back of his head. Over and over.
You were just about to drag the man’s fallen body out of the way enough that you could sidestep towards the door when you heard another one open from behind you. You jolted for your weapon, spinning on your heels. 
A person came out. This one had a face. And you recognized him. 
Jeno raised his hands in innocence. “It’s just me.”
“Get. The fuck. Back,” you hissed, holding your blade to announce that you were armed and very much dangerous. 
Realizing you didn’t trust him, Jeno switched on a dime. “You finally figured it out, huh? How clever of you.”
You knew Jeno wasn’t who you thought he was the second you finally pieced together the true meaning of his words. “Who are you?” you forced yourself to ask. 
Jeno shrugged, smirking to himself as if something was funny. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m a brother.”
“I know that, but where do you fall in their hierarchy? Who do you take orders from?”
Jeno scoffed, his evil little smirk widening in unwavering amusement. “Take orders?” he repeated, incredulous. “Babe, I’m the one who calls the shoots.”
You stilled for all but a second. You were staring into the eyes of a gang leader who was conniving enough to infiltrate the ranks of his rival. There was no way in hell he was easily backing down from a challenge. 
The glaringly obvious shock on your face made him laugh out loud. “That’s right. I’m the leader. You look surprised.” 
You sneered, “You son of a bitch.”
If not anything else, Jeno looked proud of himself. He was so damn smug. “Don’t play innocent, beautiful. You’re not exactly a saint either. I doubt Taeyong knows there’s a cop mingling in his affairs, and his trusted third-in-command is just allowing it to happen under his nose.”
How in the hell did he know you were undercover? You had to assume everything he knew about you right now was equally as dangerous and lethal as his potential. 
Your eyes narrowed. Your body was twitching with unadulterated anger and twitching to do something deadly. “Did you kill Kun?”
“Nah. Well, I wasn’t the one who pulled the trigger, I mean.”
That didn’t make it any better. He was the one calling the shots, after all. He said so himself. “But you consented to his abduction and murder. Why?”
Jeno played with the edge of a blade of his own. He sounded thoroughly bored as explained, “He was getting too close for comfort. Looking for the Reapers was inadvertently bringing him closer to us, and we couldn’t just give him a two for one combo. It was nothing personal, you know.”
You shook your head. Then you slammed on brakes. “How do you know about Yuta and I?”
His mocking tone wasn’t lost on you as he teased, “I think you’ve lost your touch, spy. My guys wanted to take you out, you know. They were certain you were a threat and you would figure us out.”
So he not only knew that you were affiliated with the police force, but the covert agency too. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Jeno snorted. “Surely you remember Yokohama. I’m realizing it’s very easy to pin things on other gangs. You swept in to investigate their activities and lover boy came along to figure out who was killing off his buyers.”
This was unforgivable. The entire time Jeno had this much dirt on you and your personal life and discreetly used you to expand his illegal crime syndicate at the expense of another, and another. And you had no idea. 
“You recycle all of the same shit,” you pointed out, seething inside out. 
“Maybe,” Jeno replied carelessly. “But you know what they say. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
You shook your head. “So that day the three of us were together. It was all fake. You killed your own men?”
“They served their purpose,” Jeno said darkly, lifting his blade. “And you’ve served yours.” 
Your entire body stiffened with alarm when you heard someone attempt to push open the door closest to you. Stepping inside after kicking away the corpse of the man you’d fatally stabbed, Jaemin came in armed with a gun. And you were to assume it was fully loaded. 
This shocked you less than Jeno’s betrayal did, if you could even call it that. He wasn’t some guy you’d trusted. He was some guy you’d underestimated. “Of course you’re involved too,” you murmured, positioning the sharp blade in front of yourself. 
“Of course,” Jaemin repeated with a sly little laugh. “Who do you think cleans up his mess?”
Jeno didn’t bother to roll his eyes as you would usually expect from him, going with it. “And I’ve made a big one.”
You knew what that meant. They wanted to exterminate you like some troublesome little pest in their happy home. 
As if to confirm your suspicions, Jaemin smiled menacingly and crooned, “You have to go, sweetheart. You know too much now.”
Your heart was racing. Even you seemed to accept that you were overwhelmed and outnumbered. You knew that with one wrong move Jaemin wouldn’t hesitate to empty his chamber into your head, but for once, you had no idea how to get out of this. You just knew that you wouldn’t go down without a fight. 
Yuta entered your mind again and wouldn’t leave. You couldn’t hear his voice anymore, but you hadn’t heard any more gunshots either. Rather than resign yourself to defeat, you were going to assume he was still alive until proven otherwise. 
“Wait!” you shouted when you saw Jaemin cock his gun, obviously ready to paint the walls with your brains. “Where’s Yuta?”
Jaemin shrugged his shoulders. His smile was ominous. “Your little boy toy? No clue. He’s probably bleeding out somewhere, princess. I think he might be dead.”
“Not yet.” 
The three of your heads snapped in the same direction when you heard that familiar voice. Relief flooded your veins when you saw Yuta standing in the entrance of the door, having snuck up unheard. 
Before Jaemin could even get the opportunity to fire his weapon, Yuta raised and cocked his own, and a loud clap rang out in the air just before you watched Jaemin fly backwards from the impact of the piercing hole in his gut. 
And to your surprise, Yuta didn’t immediately kill him. He had his reasons. Rather than stick around to give a message, Yuta hurriedly reached for your arm and tugged you out the door. You could see in Jeno’s dark eyes when you took one final glance at him that he wanted to give chase, but saving a life was more important. 
You used all your strength and speed to keep up with Yuta’s steps, his fingers intertwined with yours as you paced wordlessly through the seemingly endless corridor. The two of you ran and ran until you had descended at least two more floors, wanting to ensure there was a safe gap between you and your enemies. 
Like hell Yuta was going to let you get shot a second time. 
“I’m so happy you’re okay,” Yuta said frantically when you were in the clear, running his hands over your cheeks. “Are you hurt? Did they touch you?”
You shook your head. “No, they didn’t lay a finger on me. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine as long as you are,” Yuta told you, relief washing over his face. You had lost each other once and neither of you were keen on suffering that hell ever again. 
“I’m fine,” you whispered, your heart speeding quicker than you knew it ever could. This was nothing like that first time you thought you lost him. Fear struck you tenfold. “I told you I would die for you.”
“If you ever risk your life for me, I’ll die right after you,” Yuta told you, more grave and serious than you’d ever seen him. “You’re not leaving me. Ever.”
And you didn’t leave him. As soon as two weeks later, you were in a hotel in Osaka after dark, tangled in silk sheets after a long night of making love to each other. Yuta made it abundantly clear that he wanted to make up for lost time, and you both mutually agreed there was no better way than doing all of the things you’d always wanted to do together. 
He wanted to whisk you away on romantic trips and show you to all his favorite places in his hometown, and you were slowly making your way down the lengthy list. You wanted an oasis away from the dark reality of the world, to lose yourself in a world that only consisted of you and the man you loved. 
You missed nights in Japan. The country never slept. Neither did your heart and your feelings for Yuta.
Ironically, he was fast asleep when you received a call from a familiar number. 
“I know I’m not supposed to contact you anymore,” Mark started without greeting. 
You snickered, wondering where this was going. You were still under the sheets right beside Yuta, knowing he would immediately stir if you even attempted to sneak out of the comfortable bed. “And yet you’re calling me anyways.”
“I have a good reason,” Mark replied reassuringly. “So you know how you got shot?”
“I think I may remember getting shot in the stomach, yes. I'm not too sure.”
Although you couldn’t see him, you imagined Mark was playfully rolling his eyes. “Yeah, well, that guy who shot you - Levi Clark - he disappeared from prison.”
You gawked, but tried to keep your voice to a murmur. “What?”
“Yeah. And he was found dead two hours later. Like, really dead. I saw the photos. It’s ugly.”
You glanced at the man sleeping beside you with extreme suspicion, but told Mark levelly, “Thanks for informing me.”
Mark sounded chipper. “No problem. And if you ever need anything, I’ve got you.”
You broke into a wide smile at those words. Though you knew it would only do everyone involved no good to continue contacting your former co-workers. “Take care of yourself, Mark,” you whispered softly. 
“You too,” were Mark’s last words before he hung up, letting you resume your new life. 
You placed your phone down and crossed your arms, knowing something was very off in this picture. “Yuta?” you called out. 
“Hm?”
So he wasn’t asleep. You crossed your arms tighter. You suspected as much. “I know what you did.”
Yuta’s voice was groggy. “Which thing did I do?”
“You know the one.”
A small sliver of a smile tugged at his lips. “You would die for me. I would kill for you. We’re even, dear.”
You wrapped your arms around him and pressed a few kisses to Yuta’s devilishly handsome face, not mad about it. His hands snaked around your waist and you sighed contentedly. “I guess we are.”
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willowsnook · 2 months ago
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rum with lime in a tall glass
lando norris x bsf!reader
"me and him? that's funny"
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Sitting in a circle with your friends you laughed loudly as you watched Max be dared to post a video of him lipsyncing along to a Taylor Swift song. You felt like you were in high school again but enjoyed the nostalgia.
"Okay y/n, you're up," Max said after bowing to everyone following his performance. "Truth or dare?"
"Dare," you said confidently, not scared of whatever Max would make you do.
"I dare you to spend 7 minutes in heaven with Lando," he said and you laughed.
"Me and him? That's funny," you said waiting for the real dare. Lando shifted uncomfortably next to you and Max raised his eyebrows. "You're serious?"
You and Lando had been friends for almost five years but had grown really close the past two. You lived in the same building in Monaco and had started as friends of convenience but it grew into more as time went on. He was funny, easy to talk to, and someone you could always count on. Yeah, you admitted he was attractive but you never thought about him in a more than friends way. Why mess with what you had?
"I'm being serious," Max said. "Now go."
You let Lando pull you up and followed him to the coat closet in the front hallway of his apartment.
"After you," you mocked, opening the door. The closet was naturally dark and you could make out the outline of Lando as he shut the door behind you. "You know we can just stand here for 7 minutes, it's not that long."
"Why wouldn't I kiss you?" He asked and your head shot up.
"I mean do you want to?" You asked unsure. "It's just a little awkward."
You watched him tilt his head, eyeing you curiously.
"You think it's awkward?"
"Well yeah, you're my best friend," you said seriously. "I wouldn't want anything to change."
He didn't say anything for a minute and you grew nervous waiting for him to reply.
"You are so stupid," he said amused, like there was some big secret that you weren't in on. "Everything has already changed."
"What do you mea-," his lips cut you off as he wrapped an arm around your waist pulling you in. You were stunned but slowly moved yours back against his, resting your hands on his shoulders. He deepened the kiss and you stepped back until your back was against the wall. Moving from your mouth, he sucked on your neck causing you to gasp out.
A knock on the door slapped you back into reality, pushing him off of you. He grabbed the back of your head giving you one last short kiss before turning to open the door. Max gave him a knowing grin as you two came out and you were too flustered to even notice.
The game was over as everyone else had broken off to watch a movie or get another drink. Dazed, you walked out onto the balcony sinking down on the outdoor couch.
Everything has already changed.
What did that mean? You racked your brain, trying to think of times that Lando did something that might have meant he liked you more than a friend. He did sleep over after every movie night and you'd wake up the next morning with his arms wrapped tightly around you. He did make sure to introduce you to everyone in the McLaren garage the first time you came, telling them that you were very important to him. He did pay for you both to fly back to the US to go to a Packers game, just the two of you. But he was your best friend so that all made sense, right?
You were so fucking stupid. He was in love with you. But were you in love with him?
You did cook his favorite dinner for him to come home to after every race. And you did watch his old twitch streams every time he was gone for a race weekend because you missed him. And you did feel a wave of rage everytime you saw an influencer flirt with him at the club or the paddock.
Realization set in just as you heard the sliding door open and turned to see Lando sit down next to you. You both stared at each other not saying anything.
"I am in love with you," you said formally and he smiled, amused. "And you are in love with me."
"Just now figure that out?" He joked.
"You are such an asshole," you said pouting, crossing your arms over your chest. "You never said anything."
Lando shrugged, looking out at the sky.
"I kind of thought it was just like an unspoken thing," he admitted. "I thought you didn't want to put a label on it so I just never said anything. I do tell people you're my girlfriend though."
Your jaw dropped.
"You what?"
"Well yeah," he said blushing. "Guess I probably should have said something."
Rolling your eyes you moved closer to him, draping your legs over his lap and resting your head on his shoulder.
"So how long have we been dating then?" You asked.
"A few years," he said and you snorted. He leaned down to kiss your forehead and you sighed, finally content.
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canmom · 2 months ago
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Animation Night 189: Nonphotorealistic
There is a funny trend in animation-related terminology to define things by what they aren't. Animation is any technique for creating film that isn't live action. Limited animation is any style of 2D animation that doesn't follow the conventions of Disney's 'full animation' on 1s and 2s - a category that includes a wildly diverse range of approaches and techniques, as this wonderful history by Animation Obsessive describes.
In 3DCG circles, there is a similar term: nonphotorealistic. Which describes, naturally, anything that isn't trying to look like a photograph of a real scene. There has been a real boom in this of late, and just like the other terms, it really doesn't narrow it down very much. Other terms like 'hybrid animation' add a bit more hints.
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Of course, if you've been anywhere near animation in the last few years, you'll probably know another term: 'Spiderverse style'.
There is no denying that Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse (2018) by Sony Pictures Animation was an absolute landmark for animation. (I wrote about it way back on AN21, focusing more on the cultural angle.) The ludicrously stylish film pretty much set the direction for animation in the 2020s - making a bunch of money and awards and thus finally throwing open the door to 3DCG animation that doesn't look like the style set by Pixar/Dreamworks in the 2000s. Its sequel, Across the Spiderverse (2023), was even more ambitious and successful (despite a troubled production involving a lot of needless crunch). We'll be showing that soon in a Spiderverse double bill so look forward to it!
So perhaps not surprising that when people see the use of graphical styles, 2D elements, limited framerates and the like in 3DCG these days, Spiderverse comes to mind. In its wake have come various films and series that apply these and related techniques: 3DCG animation is more varied than ever, and it's cool.
It isn't really a style, tho.
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Here I'm indebted to youtuber Camwing who has made a nice video overview breaking down the animation of recent movies in this vaguely defined paradigm. Among them we have The Mitchells vs the Machines (2021, also Sony), Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022, Dreamworks), and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023, animated at the French/Canadian studio Mikros animation), and of course over on Netflix you got the wildly popular League of Legends spinoff series Arcane (2021, Fortiche Productions), and the romance film Entergalactic (2022, DNEG), tying in with an album of the same name.
None of these films has exactly the same style, but they all pull from a related bag of tricks. The core techniques are animating on reduced framerates for a 'snappy', high-clarity feeling, the combination of 2D and 3D elements in some fashion, and taking inspiration from traditional media such as paintings or comic books.
For example, Arcane and Entergalactic both use the trick of 2D backgrounds/projecting paintings onto 3D geometry, inhabited by 3D characters with a stylised shader. Arcane is dripping with 2D visual effects. Puss in Boots drops the framerate during its action scenes - the opposite of the old paradigm of full animation, where fast actions would get more frames. Spiderverse draws 2D expressions onto its 3D models to push them further, and is full of all kinds of colourful stylised rendering - screentone effects, kirby dots, outlines, the works.
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It's tempting to link this to 2D-in-3D animation, and certainly many of these films apply this technique - this is the major niche where Blender has found its way into industry pipelines. But using 2D isn't mandatory to count here. For example, TMNT Mutant Mayhem has an incredibly striking storybook-painting style, accomplished largely by clever shader work and a strong sense of graphic design. Genndy Tartakovsky's canned 2014 Popeye project was planning to use a ton of 2D-style posing and squash-and-stretch, accomplished largely with rigged 3D models. There are many paths to take!
And mind you, I haven't even covered one of the biggest angles here. Search for nonphotorealistic 3DCG on Youtube and what you'll probably find most is information about cel-shading - aka 'anime style'. This has also advanced considerably in the last few years, with the techniques pioneered by Arc System Works in Guilty Gear such as editing the normals of characters for more precise control over shading, and minute adjustments to break up the mechanical feeling of 3D, becoming widely copied in both games and films. (And particularly, animated porn.)
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Vtubers in particular have really run with this technique, generally speaking using cel-shaded models with edited normals, inverted eyes, etc. etc. to try and get the feeling of an anime character come to life. [You can see a lot of these state of the art techniques if you download Pixiv's free VRoid Studio software and import the model into Blender using the VRM plugin.]
Naturally this kind of cel-shaded approach has found a particular home in Japan. In anime, the biggest champions of it are certainly Studio Orange, whose hybrid approach involves planning out shots with 2D animation before matching them with the rigs. We've covered their adaptation of Houseki no Kuni in great detail on Animation Night 97; their Trigun reboot was perhaps even more popular. But cel-shaded techniques, 3D previs and the like have also made their way into big films like Eva 3.0+1.0 (AN66).
Although this type of rendering aims to recreate the look and feel of 2D animation as much as possible, it always ends up being something new: character models that would be too complex to draw, an ease to 3D movements and camerawork that would be challenging in 2D, and generally a new hybrid style. This is good! 2D animation is already very good at being 2D animation - it's fascinating to see what 3DCG becomes with that inspiration.
So with that brief overview, where does that take us tonight?
I'm not quite ready to do a Spiderverse double bill tonight, so instead the plan is to check out a couple of recent American franchise films that are taking on the new suite of techniques. I've mentioned them up above, but let me introduce them more fully here.
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Puss in Boots: The Last Wish is a sequel to a fairly unpopular spinoff about a side character of the Shrek franchise (AN75). Not, on its face, very promising - which is why it is all the more striking that I was told on all sorts of sides that I must watch this movie. I'm finally going to make good on that.
The title character is a kind of feline musketeer type, now facing the end of his swashbuckling career as he's lost 8 of his 9 lives. Not wanting to hang up his hat, he goes on a quest to restore them. What makes it stand out its the action scenes, which go all in on the anime-influenced, extreme perspective and lighting, limited framerate style that we're discussing above. Apparently it looks sick as shit.
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem is a fresh reboot of the venerable TMNT franchise, which pretty much describes itself in the title: four turtles (named after Renaissance painters, of course!) live in a sewer as ninjas, led by their aging master who is a rat. Starting as a comic book, it became one of the iconic toyline-driven TV shows of the 80s - but it's still going! Indeed, Turtles has been on a roll of late (at least going by animator scuttlebutt), with Australian studio Flying Bark Productions turning a lot of heads with their neo-Kanada School style (and for really stretching the definition of 'storyboard').
This new film takes a different approach to the bombastic action of Rise. It focuses on a new origin story for the turtles, telling a kind of coming of age story - but what makes it unique is the animation style and cinematography. Cinéma vérité is not a phrase you really expect to be associated with ninja turtles, but the film seems to really go all out in a way you wouldn't really expect from a franchise movie, shooting the young turtles in a handheld style and focus heavily on character. Marcel Reinhard's shader work, allowing the animators to isolate lights to specific objects and characters and introducing graphical elements of cross-hatching, stippling, etc. etc. to the lighting, gives it a uniquely painting-like feeling, augmented by a lot of 2D creativity in lighting and effects.
Turtles has never really been my thing, but this film looks unique enough that I really want to see it - and I hear it's a good film too.
So that's our bill for tonight! Puss and Turtles. Let's see what the big studios have been cooking of late...
Animation Night 189 will be starting around 10pm UK time (roughly three hours hence) and carrying on til about 2-3am same! We'll be on twitch.tv/canmom as usual. Hope to see you there!
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morgana-larkin · 5 months ago
Note
Hiii!! I wanted to make a request for Melissa x fem reader where Melissa goes to the casino and while playing poker she asks us to sit on her lap for "good luck" (wink wink) and starts teasing r by putting her hand under her dress. At one point she comes close to our ear asking us to be quiet anddddd I think you already know what happensss. Can you add praise kink please??
I love this prompt! This is definitely something I can see her doing! Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!
On another note: I wanted to thank everyone for putting up with my crazy fics as I reached 200 followers a couple days ago so I wanted to thank you for that! 😘❤️
Luck Be Her Lady
Warnings: let’s be real, it’s porn with very little plot
Words: 1.63k
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Arms wrap around your waist as you push the lever down on the slot machine you’re at. You lean into your girlfriend's touch as she rests her chin on your shoulder.
“Any luck here Tesoro?” She asks and you shake your head. “Well I’m just about to go play poker, wanna come watch?” She asks and you smile at her. You pull the lever down again and this time 3 cherries appear and you win $100. “Well I guess your luck changed. Why don’t you go get your money and I’ll go play poker and you can come watch if you want. Or you can stay here or play something else.” She offers and you turn around in her arms.
“I’ll go collect my winnings and I’ll go watch my girlfriend kick everyone’s ass at poker.” You tell her and she gives you a kiss.
“Hm, that's my good girl.” She says and you feel wetness travel from your mouth to your entrance.
“You did that on purpose.” You whine out and she removes her arms from you.
“Did what?” She innocently asks with a smirk, she then gives you a wink and leaves to the poker table. You go collect your winnings and then you make it to the poker table right before the game starts. You watch a few rounds pass by with Melissa winning most of them and then she turns to look at you while someone is shuffling the cards. “Tesoro, come sit on my lap. I want my good luck charm.” She tells you with a mischievous look in her eyes. You obey anyway and sit on her lap while the cards are being handed out. You sit on her left leg with her leg between yours and you’re facing the table.
She has her left arm wrapped around you while she picks her cards up with her right. During the round, you notice how her hand keeps inching closer and closer to in between your legs and you squirm a bit on her lap. She leans in to whisper in your ear.
“Be a good girl for me, stay still and keep quiet.” She whispers in your ear and you shiver. She then slips her hand under your dress and you widen your eyes slightly. She moves your underwear to the side and puts a hand on your clit. You flinch slightly and your breathing deepens a bit. She starts rubbing circles on your clit and you start having trouble keeping it together in front of at least 30 people, who are either playing or watching. Melissa on the other hand is having no trouble keeping it together, she’s running your clit and playing poker like both are second nature to her, which is true.
She then trails her fingers down and inserts her middle finger into your entrance and you let out a small gasp. She slides another one into you and then starts pumping in and out of you and places her thumb on your clit. You try your best to keep your face neutral and not like your getting fingered underneath the table, but it’s hard as she knows your body so well. You feel yourself getting closer and closer to an orgasm and then all of a sudden she pulls out. It takes you a second to come back to your senses and then you see her take the cards and begin shuffling. You looked at her with a small glare and she smirks at you, she knows exactly what she’s doing and how close you were.
You see her beginning to hand out the cards to the people still at the table. She places her hand back on your thigh as she picks up her cards. She draws her hand away everytime she gets close to your clit, teasing you mercilessly. You notice 2 people leave after the hand and that there’s only Melissa and 2 other people left at the table. You’re having a hard time following what’s going on in the round as Melissa is running a finger through your folds. She slips a finger in you as she looks at her cards. You bite your lip so hard to keep quiet that you think blood might start dripping from your lip. She’s moving her finger in and out of you at an annoyingly slow pace to tease you and it’s working really well. She chose a time when you can’t ask her to speed up or ask her for anything, all you can do is sit there, not make a sound and take her teasing.
“All in.” You hear someone say and you see Melissa matching that without having to use all her chips.
“I’m all in too.” The third person says and you all then reveal your cards. You see Melissa has a straight flush and wins the entire game. She pulls out of you when you started to feel your orgasm starting to build. She gets you to stand up so she can go claim her reward.
“How much did you win?” You ask her and she smiles at you.
“$5000.” She says as she gets the money.
“Wow, make sure you don’t spend it all in one place.” You joke with her and she chuckles.
“I was thinking of taking my girl out on a date to a nice place.” She says as she wraps her arms around your waist and looks at you.
“The nicest place you could ever take me is your place.” You say to her and she grins. “I hear the best and most beautiful chef lives there.” You add and she blushes. “But I’d never say no to a date with you, no matter the place.” You tell her and she kisses you.
“Let’s go to the best place first.” She tells you and leads you out of the casino and to her car. You both get in and she starts driving to her place. She places a hand on your thigh and starts rubbing it. You let a moan slip now that you’re able to make noises. She pulls over to the side of the road on a deserted back road and looks at you with lust filled eyes. “Get in the backseat.” She demands and you don’t question it and obey immediately. You both get in the backseat and you straddle her lap. You immediately start kissing each other and she takes your dress off. She unclips your bra and practically rips it off of you then gets you to take your underwear off. You take her leather jacket off and the pink top that she has on. She cups your breasts and you moan into the kiss. “I just love it when you moan. Now be a good girl and let me hear all the noises I can get you to make.” She tells you and you whine.
She slips two fingers in your entrance while she attaches her mouth to your neck. You gasp out as you wrap your arms around her neck. You have your mouth hanging open as she’s sucking your neck as if she’s a vampire and pumping in and out of you with roadrunner speed. You pull her closer to you and you put your head on her shoulder. She places her other hand on your clit and starts rubbing it. You’re gasping and moaning on her lap and she’s enjoying all the noises she’s getting you to make.
“Do you want to come babygirl?” She asks as she can tell you’re close. You nod as you’re unable to form a thought or speak a word at the moment. She wants you to try though as she also enjoys seeing you struggle. “I want to hear you say it.” She says, voice dripping with lust.
“Ye-yes, oh god yes.” You cry out and she smirks.
“Come then babygirl.” She says and as if your body obeys her, you come immediately. You stay sitting on her lap trying to catch your breath as she pulls out of you gently. “You're my beautiful good girl.” She says to you and you lean your forehead on hers with a smile on your face. You look at her and you smile as you think she always looks beautiful, she looks up at you and matches your smile. You then bend down and kiss the skin on her breasts, what the bra can allow you to kiss. She then reaches behind her and unclips her bra then takes it off, giving you full access to her breasts. You put a nipple in your mouth while you cup the other one and she puts her hands in your hair and gasps. You slip your hand under her leather pants and underwear. You run your fingers through her folds and she’s soaking wet.
“You’re very wet.” You tell her and she lets out a laugh.
“You make me so wet.” She says breathless. You slip a finger in her entrance and she lets out a high pitched gasp. You pump in and out of her and she’s running her hands through your hair. She kisses you when you put your thumb on her clit and rub it. She comes in less than a minute and you slow down inside her before pulling out. She’s trying to catch her breath as you get off her lap and smile at her. She looks over at you and lets out a laugh. “How am I supposed to catch my breath when you look at me like that?” She tells you and you blush. “I love how I can still make you blush.” She says as she strokes your cheek. “Thank you babygirl, you made me come really good.” She says and you laugh.
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streetlightyeri · 4 months ago
Text
false god ; boone
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“i know heaven’s a thing, i go there when you touch me.”
[aka, boone is good at using a camera for more than just storm chasing]
w.c: 3444
warnings: 18+ MDNI. smut (oral, piv, breath play? in the lightest sense of the word, bandana used as gag).
notes: no beta, not even proofread lol i just needed to post this, i'll come back and edit at a later time. this is a piece from my wip about boone for my twisters/zach bryan song fic series (scott's is in progress as well a part two for "oklahoma smokeshow" for tyler). this was supposed to be fluff, slice of life moment, idk what happened <3 and as always, the fmc has a name but no descriptors bc i cannot personally write in 2nd person
-
She surprised him while they were on a chase. She was going to be in the state for no more than a few hours - when he headed out tomorrow she would be too. But she was able to get the information of where the crew was staying from Dani with the promise she would keep her mouth shut about it. Dani must’ve talked Tyler into letting them crash at a nicer place for the night because instead of a motel that Rowan was sure would give her hives, she pulled up to a very respectable 3 star chain hotel. She made a mental note to buy that girl whatever her heart desired.
Rowan pulled her hood closer around her neck and her hat farther down onto her head. She locked her vehicle behind her, keeping her head down as she walked to the side entrance Dani propped open for her. Once she made it in, she kicked the rock out the door jam and made her way to the elevator.
Rowan tried to calm her nerves as the elevator rose to the 4th floor. Her heartbeat picked up once the doors opened. She followed the signs to room 435. It was a corner room. Now Rowan was certain Dani had roped everyone into the plan; otherwise, a room like this would’ve been a coin toss or a game of pulling straws to see who got it. Her face burned at the thought.
But nevertheless, she knocked on the door. Boone’s voice came from the other side. “Yeah?” He was expecting someone from the team to respond, but heard nothing. He called out again. Rowan knocked in response.
She heard shuffling before the sound of the lock clicking. When the door swung open, she looked up, met with the sight of her boyfriend dressed in the same clothes he must’ve been wearing that day: jeans, a wifebeater, and a bandana tied around his neck. She could see his camo button down discarded on the end of the bed and his hat on the nightstand. A smile grew across her face as the moment started to click for him. He grabbed her wrist and dragged her into the room, double checking no one was lurking in the hallway before shutting the door. He turned the lock again and also flipped the deadbolt now that she was here.
When he turned back to her, he nearly tackled her onto the floor, throwing her hat to some corner of the room. But he managed to get his bearings before they lost their balance. His lips found hers; she could feel his smile as he kissed her. He walked them to the bed, keeping his hand behind her head to absorb the impact as her knees bent and her back hit the mattress.
He paused to pull back and look at her again, making sure she was real. “Hi, baby.”
She let out a giggle. “Hi, Boone.”
He leaned down and kissed her again, but stopped when her hand came up and pushed his shoulder back slightly. He knit his brows when she patted the bed next to herself but complied. She sat up to be eye level with him. He couldn’t believe she was here; his hands found her hips, sliding up her sweatshirt to rub circles on her soft skin. She wasn’t any better; she was trying to find her words but the way he was looking at her with his big doe eyes, like she was the best thing he’d ever seen, was making her brain short circuit. A haste kiss from him jump started her again.
“I have a . . . gift, of sorts, for you.”
He raised his eyebrows, “Is you being here not it?”
Rowan felt her cheeks heating up, her hands dropping from playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. She stood up and walked to her duffle bag she discarded blindly when he tackled her. She reached in and brought out the small box she wrapped in a haste and walked back over to him, leveling him with a serious gaze. “No one can know about this. Absolutely no one.”
“What is it, baby?”
“Promise me you will never show anyone this. Ever. No matter what.”
“I promise.”
She sat back down and handed him the box. He made quick work with the paper, his jaw dropping when he saw the picture on the side of the box: a camcorder. Nothing fancy, absolutely no bells and whistles. But Boone always had a thing for cameras. He’d started messing around with them back when he was enrolled in community college, fresh out of high school, still trying to figure out what the hell he wanted to do with his life. There was nothing more exciting to him than getting the perfect shot.
“You know how hesitant I’ve been about, uh,” she cleared her throat, “filming. But I thought about it. With something like this, there’s no cloud it gets uploaded to, no internet required. Nothing anyone can hack. It’s not the best quality, but it was the best I could find that I was comfortable with.”
He dropped the box on the bed next to him and grabbed her head in his hands; they were so large his fingertips met at the back. “Rowan, baby, please tell me you know I am fine with never recording us? I don’t want you to feel pressured. I let go of that fantasy a while ago. If you’re not comfortable with it, then it isn’t hot anymore.”
She nodded through his grip. “I know.”
He kissed her again, letting go of her with a whoop of excitement before he opened the tape on the box with his pocket knife. He pulled out the recorder and inserted the SD card, flipping open the screen, taking a sweep of the room. He played around with the settings, adjusting it for the room’s lighting. He was so confident in his knowledge of the camera. In seconds he got it looking more like 720p instead of the 480p she saw when using it in the store.
He flipped the screen so he could see himself as he recorded. He introduced himself to his imaginary audience while Rowan rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his torso. He used his free hand to run a hand down her hair. He lowered the camera to capture her face for a second. “And this is my beautiful girlfriend.” He pressed a kiss to her temple. “She is the reason I have this camera. I think she’s embarrassed, but don’t worry, I’ll get her used to showing her face.”
She pulled back and hit his shoulder with a laugh while he winked at the camera. He flipped the screen and turned to film her, catching the perfect angle where the setting sun cut through the curtains to leave a beam running across her face. “She loves me so much she surprised me. Can’t believe she kept this a secret.”
“I was so close to spilling! You kept texting me about how much you missed me! And I had to lie that I wasn’t in Oklahoma. I even had Dani working with me to cover it up. I would send photos from the view outside my apartment that I’d been saving up for her to show you. I was scared you’d get suspicious when I kept refusing to FaceTime.”
He laughed from behind the camera. “You are a terrible liar.”
She faked a gasp, “Take that back!”
He smirked, “I think I can think of a way to make it up to you.”
She pulled her legs to her chest and looked straight at the lens of the camera, “Well then, why don’t you show me?”
He deposited the camera on the nightstand, throwing his hat elsewhere to make sure he had enough space to get the entire bed in the frame. One he was certain they’d be visible, he tore his shirt off and made quick work of hers. He lifted her bridal style to put her correctly on the bed. He untied his bandana and tied it around her neck; he liked seeing her wear it. He hovered over her on his arms, his hair and gold chain dangling into her face. She felt her face and chest flush. No matter how many times they found themselves like this, Rowan always felt like Boone was admiring her like a precious stone.
He shifted his weight and used his right hand to run his thumb over her red cheek. “God you’re so beautiful, baby.”
He undid her bra and he moved to sit on his haunches, admiring her from above. Her chest rose and fell as his brown eyes raked over her entire frame, leaving her skin burning in their wake. His calloused hands ghosted over her waist so lightly, her body jerked from the tickling sensation. His two index fingers ran under the waistband of her jean shorts; his eyes flickered up to her for permission. She kept her eyes stilled on him as she nodded. His eyes flickered over to the camera; he could see her side angle perfectly, surrounded by plush sheets while he hung over her.
“Is the camera okay?”
She nodded again, not looking at it.
“Need words, baby.”
She opened her mouth but hesitated. In seconds, he had the camera in his hand, about to snap the screen shut and stop the recording. Her hand reached up and wrapped around his wrist. “It’s okay, Boone.”
He shook his head. “No. You’re tense. We’re not doing it if you’re not 100% with it.”
She tightened her grip on his wrist when he tried to turn it off again. “I am. I promise. If you’re okay, I am. I’ll get used to it.”
He hesitated. He didn’t want her doing this for him.
“If I wasn’t comfortable with it, I wouldn’t have bought the camera.”
“You’re allowed to change your mind, no matter who bought the camera.”
She moved to intertwine her fingers with his, bringing his knuckles down to kiss them. “I’ll tell you if I change my mind.”
He pursed his lips, “Promise?”
She smiled up at him, “Promise.”
She helped him set up his perfect angle again before he rided her of her shorts and underwear. His hands ran up and down her side, taking count of every inch of skin. He rememorized every mole and freckle. His lips found hers again, making his way slowly down her neck, shoulder, the valley of her breasts while his finger twisted at her nipples. She felt him smirk against her skin when she gasped, hands reaching out to grip the sheets. He left bites on the smooth skin of her stomach, a place he was often drawn to. A place he could mark that no one would know.
When he made it between her thighs, he groaned. “There’s my girl.”
Rowan bit her bottom lip to stifle the sound that brought out of her.
Boone’s hands tightened on her hips; she could feel each finger digging into her skin. He pressed sloppy, wet kisses to the inside of her thighs. Her toes curled in anticipation, legs locking to try and prevent them from tightening around his head. Not that he would’ve cared. He had spent weeks warming her up to the idea of sitting on his face so he could finally feast like he wanted. She would never forget the way he locked his muscular arms around her thighs to keep her core connected with his mouth while he ate her out like his life depended on it, like he wasn’t destroying her for any other man ever. 
When he finally connected his mouth to her cunt, he moaned into her, making a shiver run up her entire body as her hands moved to grip his hair. Her fingers twisted in his locks, making him let out another satisfied noise. His tongue reached out to lap at her core, taking in the sweet release and relishing in the taste. One hand moved to splay across her stomach, lightly opening and closing to keep her down and to scratch at her skin comfortingly; the other moved to leave bruises of his finger prints on her thighs before one finger, then two, then three pushed themselves into her. Her rapid breaths and whines filled the room as her hips jerked from the way he ate. While his fingers curled into the spot he knew made her see stars, his tongue circled her clit with unrelenting determination.
He glanced up at her, seeing her head thrown back with eyes screwed closed as he increased his pace. He knew he was doing good when he felt her body tensing up below him, her legs beginning to shake. She gave a hard tug on his hair when he pulled away and let out a stream of cold breath onto her clit before attaching his hot mouth back to it. She came with a cry of his name, tensing around him as her blood seemed to run through white hot fire. Her thighs clamped around his head, spurring him on to continue his feast as he rode her through her high. He managed to get his right hand free and bring it up to her mouth, tapping her lips which she opened without question. He shoved them in, so long he almost triggered her gag reflex. She instantly closed around them, sucking herself off of him while effectively silencing her from their neighbor’s ears. He used his thumb and pinky to grip her chin and turn her face to the camera. She whimpered when she saw how much of a mess she was, how much of a submissive puddle he turned her into without trying. The visual spurred her into another orgasm. When she finally came back to Earth, she let her legs go limp and released her boyfriend, much to his dismay.
He traced his lips back up to hers, pushing into her mouth. When he released their kiss, he left small pecks on her jaw, coming to her ear, “My favorite meal. Now my favorite show.”
She grabbed his jaw and brought him back to her lips where he lost himself for an unknown amount of time. He was achingly hard. Rowan ran her hand down his shoulders, past the scar on his ribs from when he got hit by a tree branch in the field, down his abs that he gained from always running from tornadoes, to run her hand over his length. She would never get used to it; he was the biggest she’d ever had, and he knew how to use it. He could bring her to tears without being fully seated in her. He had to coach her into taking deep breaths the first time they’d done it because she was so tense he couldn’t push in. Now, they knew the drill.
She pulled his belt off with one hand and discarded it somewhere in the room before popping his button. He discarded his pants and underwear off the bed, once again on his haunches, pumping himself in his right hand. Her hair was a messy halo around her, her skin shiny with sweat.
He lifted her legs to hang over his thighs, leaving her wide open for him to push into her without pain. His eyes flickered to the camera before coming back to hers; she nodded. He picked the camera up, and fixed the angle to where it was a clear shot of him entering her. With every inch he gave, her whimpers grew louder. “Bite down on the bandana for me sweetheart.”
She nodded blindly, biting down on the cloth that smelled exactly like him, like the cologne he wore that made her nearly stumble when she first met him. Her senses were clouded from anything else in the world. All that existed was him. The camera was an extension of him, like it always was.
When he was fully seated in, he gave a few long in and out thrusts, letting her adjust to his size before putting the recorder in its spot. When she gave him the nod that he was okay to move, he lifted one of her legs to rest on his shoulder, pressing a kiss to her ankle where she had a tattoo of a tornado, courtesy of Lilly and an empty bottle of Jack.
He gripped her hip with his free hand before he began to hammer into her. The sound of skin slapping filled the room. Her noises were one of his favorite things about sex with her, but he really did not need the neighbors knowing that he hadn’t even given her 30 minutes before they went at it; the bandana was not cutting it. He gathered up the material that was still hanging out her mouth and shoved it in. He gave a short “sorry” when he heard her gag but he wasn’t sure she heard it because he gave a very hard thrust at the same time that caused her eyes to roll backwards. He placed his hand over her mouth as well to keep her silent, her leg pressed against her chest.
Her hands dug crescents into his biceps and left long marks down his back. He had absolutely no complaints. If he could find a way to make the feel of him buried in her cunt permanent, he would. Boone grunted in her ear when she squeezed around him, “Be good, honey.” He felt her moan vibrate through his hand. 
She was getting close, he could feel it. She kept lifting her hips in a way to both escape the pleasure but also find new angles for him to hit in hopes it would be what set her off. He snaked his hand off her hip and used his rough thumb to circle her clit. In seconds, he sent her over the edge. She tensed so hard around him he couldn’t thrust her through it. Her tightness sent him over the edge, his face buried in her hair while he was groaning her name paired with a whimper of overstimulation. When he finally pulled out, he got the camera again to film the dripping of his spend out her cunt. He reached a hand out and smeared his cum across her cunt. She jerked and whimpered, the feeling too much so soon after he finished her again. 
He turned the camera to her face as he gave her his cum covered fingers to suck on. She had a sleepy, not-fully-on-Earth smile plastered on her face. She stared at the lens, at the extension of Boone, “Hi, baby.”
He held the camera out with one arm while he moved to connect their lips again.
The camera ran out of battery just as Boone was setting it up to look into the shower, right after he got a shot of Rowan on her knees with her tongue out, covered in his release, before she swallowed and showed her empty tongue to the camera.
He cursed when the screen turned black, an alert to change SD cards coming up. Rowan laughed and closed it after turning it off, grabbing his hand and pulling him into the shower. “You’ll just have to remember this round.”
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Her hair left a damp spot on the pillow beneath him, but he didn’t mind. She was half asleep in the nook he made for her between his shoulder and arm, her eyes closed as she inhaled the scent of his soap and shampoo. If his arm was asleep under her, he said nothing. He had changed the sheets with the ones from the closet while she searched through his bag and her own to find something to wear. She ultimately decided on a pair of sleep shorts she brought and one of his plain t-shirts that hung oversized on her. She had a fist resting on his chest and had her leg across his waist; he lightly scratched at it, a comforting motion to help lure her to sleep.
He adjusted his head to leave a kiss on the top of her head. “I love you, Rowan.”
She was too tired to make any words, so she gave him a hum that both acknowledged his words and returned the sentiment. She kissed the nearest part of him she could before settling back into her cocoon. He pulled the blankets up closer to her chin.
290 notes · View notes
nicoscheer · 5 months ago
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Milex quotes (ranging from unhinged to batshit crazy while taking a detour through wtf land)
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- first impressions: “What is this puny spotty kid with his little brown bag ?” (Miles about Alex) “Who’s that jester who makes me laugh so hard as soon as he opens his mouth ?” (Alex about Miles). Via Les Inrocks arcticle
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- “I tell him I love him all the time,” via NME (Miles)
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- “I love you because you’ve got a very strong pain threshold.” Via NME (Miles)
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- since when are you both that close ? “You want to know if we’re going to get married ? If we have sex like real men, between the buttocks ?” Via Les Inrocks article
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- “For kids from the North, it's hard to say but we never stop telling each other that we love each other. Alex knows I'll always be there for him. (How do our girlfriends deal with that? Are they jealous? Maybe we should ask them).” (Miles) Via Les Inrocks article
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- “To me, The Last Shadow Puppets is not even a band. It’s more like a way-out of the notion itself of ‘band’. It’s a space of freedom. There is no embarrassment, no taboo, no limits between us. It's a real trade, we reroute each other's ideas. In the end, it's impossible to quantify the contribution of the two of us. Our complementarity sometimes freaks me out.” (Alex) via Les Inrocks article
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- MK: Totally, to me it’s even the best vocal take of his entire career! (He cuddles him.) AT: Thank you, my dear. (Note: here it says “mon lapin”, which can mean “my dear” but literally translates to “my bunny”) via MyRock Magazine
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- AT: Ah yeah, that’s how it is with my Miles! I start a joke and he’ll finish it! (he pounces on Miles and catches him in an armlock on the settee, before giving his crotch a light slap and shouting “Here comes the nuts!”) You wanna see how close we are as friends, Miles and I? Here, look, a spectacle exclusively for you! (At this point, we move up another notch in this madness: Alex swoops for a bowl of cashew nuts and starts to frenetically toss them at Miles, who tries to catch them with his mouth… after a fashion. Via MyRock Magazine
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- “Alex is so dedicated to song writing, it’s inspiring to be around. He’s a beautiful soul and I’m honoured to witness him and the band grow. His left ears going to be burning when he hears this…” (Miles) via GQ magazine October 2013
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- “Alex Turner is a genius, isn’t he? He’s a genius fish.” (Miles) via Knack Focus
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Via Kultura Onet
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- “Sometimes we have Skype-sex, or we wank off on FaceTime!” (Miles) via Index
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- “We've been through a lot together. It's like, he's one of those friends, those few best friends you have in life. As you grow older, your circle tends to shrink, but he's remained one of my closest pals. It's almost like a bit of yin and yang between us.” (Miles) via Numéro
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- Alex turns to Miles and propositions him: “Your place or mine, then?” There’s no-one expect us and the road-crew there to see it, but it feels like a special moment nonetheless. Via NME
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- “I think we can bring the best out in each other, you know? He certainly does that with me.” (Miles) Via Eska Rock
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- “Why, yes, bromances are for sharing your dreams. What a wonderful sentiment.” (Miles) via Interview Magazine
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- AT: Miles is, without a doubt, Wolverine. Wolverine is a style icon to him. I see similarities. Miles always follows his instinct. And he’s capable of fixing things that are broken, whether it’s material or emotional damage, in no time. MK: Alex often reminds me of Gambit. He can change something insignificant into something explosive. He’s very aware of everything that happens around him, something that balances him out. And he can read my mind. Via OOR Magazine 2016
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- “We understand each other and keep each other going. We both have strange ideas and we need the presence of the other to make sense of them.” (Miles) Via OOR Magazine 2016
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- “Sometimes it can be a pressure being the fella in the band who writes the songs. Getting together with Miles I've got someone to bounce ideas off and that is something new for me. Also, it gives me somewhere to hide because he's up there singing with me. In the Arctic Monkeys, there's nowhere for me to hide.” (Alex) via Culture
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- “My best mate. I love him, man. I like the way he pushes himself and keeps that thing of, whatever's going on around you, you're just a lad who loves playing music and writing tunes. He's a prime example of someone who's big but doesn't take anything for granted.” (Miles)
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- “I decipher his thoughts and organise them. When Miles bursts, the idea comes flying. Someone who knows him well enough might be able to filter out the good ideas. But usually, he only has good ideas and it’s up to me to catch everything. That’s my job within this duo. That process releases all kinds of stuff within me, causing me to go into certain directions I would never take my own.” (Alex)
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- “I thought it were going to be like them finding a tape where you’d had an affair,” he grins. “Like your bird had found an affair tape and was watching you having sex with another bird… but it weren’t like… an affair tape… erm, not that I’ve ever made an affair tape.” Alex Turner about the Monkeys’ reaction to The Last Shadow Puppets’ album via NME
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- “And also working with Miles, it comes very much from my heart. You know, with such a close friendship we have. Wanting to work together, it brings something else. I haven’t done too much with other people… he’s kind of the only one.” (Alex) via Hot Press
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- MK: And he can read my mind. AT: But you can read mine, too. MK: I knew you were gonna say that. AT: And I knew you were gonna say that. via OOR Magazine 2016
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- “Even if we aren't writing half a word is enough. We can finish each other's sentences sometimes and if we focus on it, we can take it to a much deeper level. That's pretty unique. My thinking process is pretty abstract and a lot of people don't know what to do with that. Alex understands me like no other.” (Miles) via OOR Magazine 2016
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- you’re living in Los Angeles too now, miles? “…because Alex lives there…” (Miles) via Humo
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- “He has written a lot of songs – a lyrical wonder, this boy!” (Miles) via Humo
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- The pair live, Turner says, “seven minutes away from each other”. Ask them what a typical night out entails, and they look at each other, then proceed to not be very forthcoming, though Turner will eventually concede that “some of what happens in those situations is disclosed, through the veil of song, on the record. There’s references.” Via Shortlist
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- “Starin’ out the balcony at the moon, wonderin’ where is he, what is he doin’ now, who’s he kissin’” (Alex) via Sidewalk Hustle
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- “… but this thing we had together… I know that I was the new kid and he was a sort of superstar, but even from day one, it was amazing. To an outsider, it wouldn’t look equal, but it was always so equal. He made me feel like that, just because it was.” (Miles)
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- “We take it in turns playing the straight man.” (Alex) via Shortlist
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- “Quite cute ! Quite and quite camp, you mean ?” (Miles about their relationship) via NME
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- On what it’s like to work with Kane again, Turner said: “It���s like John Lennon meets… Paul [McCartney].” Via NME
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- Miles says their relationship was established “on laughter and general stupidness” via the Telegraph
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- Interviewer: Alex, what does Miles bring out in you that…. Alex: A woman can’t bring out in me?
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- Miles and Alex and their endearments and nicknames for each other :
“We always talk about it, me and the boy, y'know?” (one of the cutest things Miles has called Alex is 'the boy' it's so beautiful bc someone asked him on Twitter what he was up to and he just said he was 'going out with the boy'. which boy? it didn't need saying. everyone knows who The Boy in Miles' life is.)
"He's got the face for it...the little diamond."Miles to Alex
"The Little Prince" Miles to Alex x
“Shavambacu” Miles to Alex at 4:01
“You naughty turtle” Alex to Miles- Tlsp @ Paradiso, Amsterdam 2016 during the element of surprise
“Baby” Miles to Alex multiple times
“You scampi fry” Miles to Alex via the guardian
“The Wirral squirrel/wirral riddler” Alex to Miles via absolute radio 2011 at around 10:50
“All aboard the Kane train” Alex to Miles at Lowlands 2016 at around 21:56
“My Miles” Alex to Miles, MyRock interview
“The next song is called ”My Fantasy”… I’d like to dedicate it to my Alex Turner!” Miles to Alex, live performance
“If I can speak for both Darling” Alex to Miles via El País
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- “He (Alex) turned up one day in red jeans. That surprised me. I like it when he wears red jeans. When they’re tight.”
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- “There's nothing innocent about Miles Kane,”Turner warns, in case anyone was planning to accuse him of luring his fresh-faced co-conspirator into a decadent world of rock star self-indulgence. “He is the antithesis of innocence.” “Ooh,” Kane retorts, archly, “you scampi fry.” Via the Guardian
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- “We went for a bike ride. Tops off. Fred Perry shorts on.” (Alex about their time recording the age of the understatement in rural France Blackbox studio) via Q Magazine 2008
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- You look like you're about to snog each other. AT: “It’s rare that we don’t look like that.” Tlsp at the Mercury music Prize 2008
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- “As far as I’m concerned there are only two superstars: Beyoncé and Miles Kane. You can quote me on that.” (Alex)
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starshideurfics · 5 months ago
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Thirsty Thursday - Ring My Bell
steddie, omegaverse, flagging/signaling culture, mdni 🔞
Based on a fun worldbuilding convo in the SHOM discord that’s still buzzing around my head. Credit to @itcanbepalped and @jeffgoldblumsmulletinthe90s for vibing on this one
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Steve’s parents never wore rings. They said it was gauche; very new money of them.
“Why bother with jewelry on your fingers that will get banged up on your hands when you can wear a necklace,” Clarissa would say when she spotted someone at the club with a ring, or god forbid two! Her own betrothal and bonding necklaces were layered, drawing the eye to her bite.
That was the whole point of a necklace. Either it emphasized a bonding bite, or it highlighted the fact that the wearer’s bonding gland was intact.
Steve had been given a necklace after he presented, a simple gold chain with a bejeweled padlock.
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Pretty fucking gauche if you ask him.
Steve wouldn’t have worn it, but it was expected. Plenty of omegas wore something similar; he’d rather have his grandmother’s old claddagh ring, but his mother said it was low class.
So he wears his necklace every day, a reminder that he belongs to his father until he is mated. Then, he’ll belong to his alpha. Legally. At least until Congress hot its act together and passed some of the proposed equity laws.
Maybe his mom was right, rings were more easily lost. They tainted the scent of your hands with harsh metal.
It’s just that he’s seen some interesting ones, shapes so far beyond the standard lock, circle, and eternity knot. Meanings far more individualized than his necklace.
Which is why when the pups start following after Eddie Munson, Steve really notices his rings.
He gets what the book means. Or, he thinks he does. Munson doesn’t wear blockers, ever. His scent is an open book.
And the skull could be one of those gothy, ‘I mate for life’ things.
But the pig makes no sense. And no scents. Pigs don’t typically have a smell worth advertising.
The ring on his right hand is so simple in comparison that Steve gets stymied there, too.
He drops it, not wanting to reveal his interest in anything to do with Eddie Munson.
Steve is perfectly ready to let it stay a mystery until the night he comes to pick Dustin up after Hellfire only for Eddie to be the only one left in the lot, hauling his stuff out to his van. 
“Sinclair got his permit; your chuckleheads all went with him so he could show off.”
“Oh,” Steve says dumbly, only for his brain to catch up and spit out, “And they’ve never heard of a phone?”
“Real butthead behavior on their part,” Eddie agrees with a smirk. “Anyway, sorry you came out here for nothing.”
“Eh, could be worse.” Steve’s thinking monsters or g-men.
Of course, Eddie doesn’t know that. He gives Steve an appraising look. Then he surprises Steve. “I could make it up to you,” Eddie says with a crooked grin.
“How?” Steve asks, swallowing back the ‘not your fault’ that almost slipped out automatically. Because it kinda is.
Steve wouldn’t be here if not for Eddie’s club and the hold it has on Steve’s merry band of twerps. So he’s open to whatever Eddie’s offering to make them square.
He shouldn’t be surprised when Eddie pulls a joint from his pocket, sets it in his mouth to light, and inhales.
He holds it towards Steve as he blows out a stream of smoke. “We can hang, take the edge off your night.”
Steve takes the joint. Eddie grins and skips over to his van, opening the back door and giving a joking bow.
Steve laughs. He didn’t expect to be charmed so easily.
But he is, and after a couple hits he feels relaxed and loose in a way that would be fine in the safety of his bedroom, not so much when he has to drive.
He’s going to say as much, tell Eddie he should clear his head, when his eye catches the shine of silver on his fingers.
It’s like his brain isn’t connected to his mouth as he asks, “Why the pig?”
Eddie looks up from the box of cassettes he’s looking through and furrows his brow. “Huh?”
Steve’s brain must be cut off from his body too, since he reaches out and snatches up Eddie’s left hand.
“The pig,” Steve says, tapping on the offending ring. “Like, the book and the skull I think I got, but I’m coming up empty on the pig.”
“I’m surprised you knew it was a book.”
“But it’s book-shaped!”
“You mean rectangular?”
“But it is a book right?”
“Yeah.”
“So that’s about your scent,” Steve feels smug as he says it.
“I don’t smell like books,” Eddie says, clearly confused. “That’d be pretty awesome, though. Old books smell nice. Unless they’ve been in a basement too long.”
Steve nods sagely. This is obvious wisdom. No one wants to jump your bones if you smell like a musty basement.
Then he remembers his point. “You don’t smell like books, you are a book. Easy to read your scent ‘cuz you don’t wear blockers.”
“Don’t like ‘em. Make my head all fuzzy, and not in a fun way.”
“And the skull is a ‘til death’ thing right?”
“It’s actually a vampire skull.” Eddie points out the elongated canines. “You know, ‘the eternal kiss’ or whatever. I think bites should mean something.”
Steve nods again, feels a weird pull low in his belly. “That’s cool. Not enough alphas I know have that opinion.” He’s seen too many broken bonds at the country club and his father’s company Christmas parties.
Seen too many couples who shouldn’t have bonded in the first place.
“So, what’s the pig?”
Eddie looks down where Steve is still holding his hand. “Ever heard of a truffle hunter?”
“Like the chocolates?”
“No, the mushrooms! You’re rich, don’t you know about fancy mushrooms!”
Steve shakes his head, feels dumb. 
But Eddie just accepts his ‘no’ and moves on, “Well, they’re these rare mushrooms, and pigs like to eat them, so they’re really good at sniffing them out. And that’s me. I fully plan to sniff out my scentmate, and until then…” He shrugs. “Plenty of hot omega pussy to smell.” 
As soon as the words are out of his mouth, Eddie slaps his right hand over his whole face in shame. “Shit, sorry. Not appropriate in front of an omega. Or anyone. I promise I’m not a creep trying to get in your pants.”
But Steve’s mouth has gone dry. He wears blockers still, for work, the scent neutralizing deodorants and perfumes good at covering up his scent. The only place he doesn’t apply it is his crotch, because no one should be getting close enough anyway.
Suddenly he wants Eddie to be close enough.
He’s still holding Eddie’s hand, can still smell the edge of his woody scent over the weed. “It’s okay,” he says. Turns Eddie’s palm toward him and brings it to his nose.
The metal smell is there. But also pine and herbs, deepened by dark musk. His tongue darts out for a taste.
His hand mostly tastes like skin, a little like salt and smoke, but the scent is still there. Makes him want more. He pulls back, looks at Eddie who is staring at him with awe on his face.
“Okay, Mr. Trufflehunter, how do I smell?”
“You’ve got blockers on-”
“Not everywhere.”
His movements are slow, giving Eddie every chance to back out as he slides his fingers into Eddie’s hair, gripping the side of his head, and guiding him down towards Steve’s crotch.
Towards his wet pussy.
continued in part 2
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yawnderu · 1 year ago
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Doomed — Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader
Idea by @actuallyhiswife from this post!
Alternative happy ending here.
Black. It's all you can see, all senses numbed by the water sneaking into your lungs, burning everything in its wake like a raging fire. You can feel it— her pain is your pain, his distress while he holds the body of his lover is just as yours, even when you don't recognize these people.
''Shh, s'alright love, I'm here.'' Simon's deep voice snaps you back to reality, your lungs greedily taking in the air like a man starved. You suck in a sharp breath at the touch of his bare fingers against your stomach, one of his bloodied hands coming up to cup your cheek while the other one applies pressure to the bullet wound.
"What h—" A groan takes over your sentence, face scrunched up in pain as your brain finally registers that you got shot. Blood pours out of the wound no matter how much pressure his strong hands apply, now using both of them in hopes that'll keep you alive.
"Stay with me." It's not an order, it's a plea, tone laced by pure desperation. You cry out as the bullet digs deeper into your flesh, tears already falling down your cheeks at the pure agony, body growing weaker and weaker as the blood pours out of your body.
"Simon." You call out softly and he ignores it, refusing to let you go. Refusing to let the sun that casts away his shadows go. Simon finally had one good thing in life, and he'll be damned if he ever lets it go.
"Simon." You call out again only to be ignored. Your bloodied hand manages to drag its way onto Simon's forearm, squeezing gently to get his attention.
"I love you. I'm sorry we—" A choked breath escapes his lips as he takes in your image. Roughed up and dirty, yet still the prettiest fucking thing he's seen his whole life.
"I'm sorry we can't go pet the fluffy cows in Scotland together." A small laugh manages to come out of your lips, followed by a cough. He recognizes that look in your tear-covered eyes, the way you're trying your hardest to fight death barehanded... and losing.
"Don't say that." He grunts out, the pressure he's applying on the wound growing weaker by the second as he prepares himself to accept whatever life will throw at him, as usual.
"We'll go pet those bloody cows together— maybe even stay over at Johnny's." He promises, having spent countless nights listening to you ramble on about going to Scotland just to meet Johnny's family and pet the fluffy cows he claimed they have.
"Just gotta stay with me, pretty girl." His hands come up to adjust your body so that you're laying on him, his back against the wall of the abandoned building as he cradles you.
You don't have the energy to speak, still managing to give him a lethargic nod, eyelids growing heavier by the second. You can barely hear his voice, everything sounding muffled all of sudden, but you register the kiss planted to your lips, his balaclava pulled all the way off.
"Marry me." You nod, allowing yourself to entertain him as life slips away from you. His tone is raw, trying and failing to cover up the pure agony that he's feeling.
"Do you—" He chokes up, taking a deep breath to calm himself down, knowing he doesn't have a lot of time left with you.
"Do you take Simon Riley as your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?" Another weak nod.
"I do." You manage out, trying your best to ignore the taste of blood in your mouth, eyes finally rolling to the back of your head as your eyelids close, unable to keep them open anymore.
His shaky hand holds your left one, carefully drawing a circle around your ring finger with your own blood. It's all he can do for now— the real engagement ring is back on base, carefully tucked away in his closet.
He holds you close for what feels like forever, ignoring the way your body gets colder and stiffer as the hours go by. He plants gentle kisses onto your hair, refusing to see your face, wanting his last image of you to be when you smiled at him. Simon Riley, the man who always kept everyone at arm's length, had to be ripped off of your body by Johnny and Price once they found you.
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The day you left him, the little humanity Simon had died alongside you. He could barely eat, was drinking himself to sleep every single night to numb the pain, and yet his dreams were just as restless. His mind had been plagued with images of lovers seeing each other die, each time just as tragic. He couldn't recognize the people in his dreams up until it was his turn to watch you die over and over— that's when he understood. Simon Riley always thought he was cursed, yet seeing the other piece of his soul die over and over again in his arms? It was pure agony.
He stumbled to his desk, harshly putting down the bottle of bourbon he downed in less than an hour. His shaky hand opened the cabinet, looking at his service pistol with contempt before reaching out for it.
459 notes · View notes
notjustjavierpena · 1 year ago
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Marks
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Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator
A/N: For all you who wanted to have more of husband!Javi and The Peñas. This is a follow-up to All Roads Lead To Someone! Pregnant!reader getting the right treatment.
Summary: Javier just wanna fuck you: His gorgeous pregnant wife.
Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader (no y/n)
Tags: +18 smut (MDNI!), pregnancy sex, mentions of f masturbation, body issues, domestic bliss, piv sex, dirty talk, breeding kink, creampie, love!!!
Word count: 2.8k
Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48631087
Marks
“Por favor,” Javier begs as he kisses your shoulder from behind and has you shivering because of how sensitive your skin is at the moment. He keeps it innocent though, because there’s a kitchen knife lying to your right as you are rinsing the vegetables for tonight’s dinner. He doesn’t relent though and a wandering hand squeezes the side of your thigh, “I can see it on you.”
“Inés is coloring in the living room and you have to pick up Lucas from soccer practice soon. We can’t,” you say simply, batting his hand away with a disapproving click of your tongue. As if it’s not bothering you as well.
You turn up the water pressure to rinse the carrots that you have gotten from Chucho Peña’s farm, but decide to scrub it with your hand instead to remove the dirt properly. 
As promised, the beginning of your third trimester brings along a constant ache between your thighs. Javier has sensed it coming, counted the days and is now circling you like a shark on the hunt.
It comes after a drought; a whole month of you not being able to stand the sight of him, even his smell making you furious and causing him to be skittish around your pregnant form. He isn’t skittish anymore. Quite the opposite. 
“I could find the baby alarm in the drawer. We could go to the bedroom for just a few minutes,” he suggests and you instantly roll your eyes without him being able to see it. When you don’t answer, he steps back but only to lean against the kitchen counter beside your workspace. 
You would love it; you would jump your husband’s bones at every opportunity that you get to have him relieve you of the dull throb of your clit, but… You’re in your third trimester with stretch marks, a sore back, an overactive bladder and a baby that kicks you so hard that you feel out of breath sometimes. All in all, it’s hard to feel sexy and it’s easier to take care of it yourself.
“Go entertain yourself, if you catch my drift,” you retort and make a suggestive hand movement along the carrot in your sink. 
Javier snorts bitterly, “Fuck you.” 
“Fuck you,” a little girl’s voice repeats. Inés has entered the kitchen.
Javier and you freeze, but whereas you narrow your eyes at Javier, your husband just starts laughing and goes to ruffle his daughter’s hair, “There she is, mi diablita.”
“We don’t use that word around here, Daddy’s very sorry that he said it,” you dry your hands in a towel and turn towards the both of them. Javier gets a raised brow and stops laughing. 
He groans as he stretches from having bent over to pick Inés up, settling her on his hip and giving you a soft smile. He takes her little hand in his own, swaying back and forth with her as if they are slow dancing. The way she cuddles up to him has you melting right away, placing your folded hands on your protruding belly.
“Te quiero mucho,” you say affectionately and walk up to both of them. You kiss Inés’ hair, then look at Javier, “But you can’t keep swearing in a house full of children.” 
“Sorry, mi amor. Perhaps if you let me…” Javier looks down at his daughter who curiously observes the conversation between her parents. He finds your eyes again, “If you let me hug you real hard tonight, I might be reminded.”
You roll your eyes again, but there’s a smile on your face this time. There’s something insanely sexy about him like this, still swaying with Inés on his hip and secretly booking an appointment with you in your shared bedroom. 
“Dónde está Lucas?” Inés then interrupts. 
“Soccer practice,” he replies, winking at you when Inés can’t see it. You hate that it makes your heart jump as if it's been shocked. Beside you, Javier is oblivious to your schoolgirl crush, “You want to come with me to pick him up?”
Inés nods enthusiastically, starting to move around in Javier’s arms to indicate that she wants to be put down on the floor again, “I made Lucas a picture.” 
“You can give it to him in the car,” Javier watches his daughter run off into the living room again. You’ve turned towards the sink once more, and he takes a chance to walk up behind you. You feel his hand come down playfully on your ass, causing you to jump where you are standing.
“You little—“ you whip around, but are met with Javier’s shit-eating grin. Oh, curse him. 
“You and I have a deal tonight, sí?” 
“Yes, yes, whatever, get out of my kitchen.”
*
Lucas eats like he has been starving for days. Inés talks loudly about what she’s seen at the soccer field, especially about the fact that she got permission to kick the ball a few times. 
You listen with a soft expression on your face, leaned back in your dining chair with a hand resting on top of your belly. The baby is kicking but since you’re not in bed and therefore still walking around the house, it’s not as bad as it could be. 
Javier talks just as enthusiastically about their adventure out on the soccer field. Lucas adds that he might be picked as goalkeeper. You get up to kiss his hair repeatedly and call him your little man to which he giggles in a way that makes you overly emotional, eventually to the point where you have to excuse and keep yourself busy. 
All in all, dinner ends and tucking the kids in goes smoothly. They are both tired beyond belief. 
Later, you stare at yourself in the mirror as Javier brushes his teeth in the master bathroom. You are completely undressed since it’s better for you to sleep naked these days, but it has the downside of catching yourself in the mirror as you pass it and frowning slightly as you notice a new stretch mark along your side. You swear under your breath, trying your hardest to tell yourself (for the third time in your life) that this is part of growing a new and healthy life. You sigh loudly. 
Behind you, Javier enters the bedroom in his underwear and nearly doubles over as he sees you naked already. He stalks after you with the energy of someone who has been starved of food for weeks, walking up behind you with dark lust-filled eyes that go soft as soon as he sees your face in the mirror. 
“You okay, mi amor?” He asks, looking at you through the mirror. He wraps his arms around your body, holding you close to his chest as his hands link around your belly, “Look at you.”
“Are you sure about this?” You ask him, too busy to look at him when you’re staring at your own naked form. Javier starts rubbing his hands over the strained skin of your stomach, soothing it with his warmth. 
“Sure about what?” He sounds a little confused, but then catches on, “About wanting to hug you real hard? Don’t think I’m the uncertain one here. What’s wrong?”
“Look,” you point to the newest mark along the swell of your stomach, then run your finger over it. It is red and slightly raised, having made itself known by itching all day, “I’m sorry, but I didn’t get these as quickly during the first two. It’s not exactly sexy.”
“Who on earth told you that?” Javier places a kiss on your shoulder, nuzzling his nose along your neck afterwards. He finds your pouty face in the mirror again, “Are you telling me there’s people out there who don’t think their wife is the sexiest when she’s growing their kid?”
You turn around in his arms to slap his naked chest, but he just grabs at your hips to steer you backwards towards the double bed. Carefully, he helps you to sit down when you feel the edge dig into the back of your calves. 
“I mean it, Javi,” you say with a soft sigh as you are finally off your feet for the day.
“I mean it too,” he motions with his hand, “Now crawl back and let me take care of my pregnant and sexy wife.”
He is too perfect for you. 
“How sensitive are you today?” He asks casually as he follows you onto the bed, kneeling between your legs and easing himself out of his boxers. It’s quite reassuring to your confidence to see his cock stand upright from how hard he is for you. 
He is right to ask about your sensitivity, because pregnancy hormones and more blood flow has been overwhelming during all your previous pregnancies. You are more sensitive due to that, swollen and puffy no matter what time of day or what your previous activity has been. It makes for delicious sex, at least if you have someone who treats you right. Javier Peña does.
“I don’t think you can go too rough tonight, I’ve been aching and wet all day,” you reply as you settle into your pillow and grab his for him to place underneath your back. 
“And you refused this earlier?” He raises a brow as he watches you lower your hips onto the pillow, “You got some self-control.”
“I was going to just take care of it whilst you were putting the kids to bed,” you nod towards the dresser where the both of you keep your toys, safely tucked away from curious children.
“I woulda never forgiven you,” he chuckles, leaning over you to kiss your swollen belly. He skims a hand over the stretch marks afterwards. It’s a silent compliment, “But just to involve myself in your playtime… which toy had you been thinking of?”
“The glass one,” you feel your face heat up as you confess to having wanted to masturbate, “Might’ve cooled me down a little, but if it wasn’t going to be that one, I’d want the g-spot massager.”
“You have no idea what you do to me,” Javier dramatically groans at that. He rests his forehead against your stomach, “Let me be your g-spot massager.”
You laugh loudly at that, but it earns you a kick from your baby, causing you to wince when it lands right underneath your ribs. Javier pulls back a little in shock, placing his palm over the spot when he has just felt your stomach move. 
“Be nice to your mother,” he scolds softly, “I know you want to be rocked to sleep, mi bebito, but gimme a second here. I’ll get to it.”
“Javi!” You cover your face with your hands, “God, you are so… imagine if people could hear you.”
Javier peels your hands away, looking devilishly down at you, “Don’t hide from me, and please let me f— take care of you.”
“Not going to say the bad word again, huh?” You grin triumphantly, scooting a little closer to him but without sliding off the pillow. 
“Not right this instant, but I am for sure going to make you say it before we’re done here,” he smirks, wasting no time to stroke himself a few times and then sliding into your wet heat. The moan you want to let out is desperate and wanton, but with two sleeping children in the house, you only let yourself whimper quietly. 
Javier holds your gaze intensely as he feeds your cunt his dick inch by inch, letting you relish in the slightly painful stretch of your walls as he bottoms out and settles inside of you like you’re made for him. 
“Feeling good? Not uncomfortable?” He asks in a whisper, voice strained as if trying to hold something back within himself. You know that your pregnant body is as glorious for him as it is for you as your pussy’s walls feel softer, warmer and tighter than usual and especially now that you’re in one of your states. 
“I’m perfect… God, I’ve wanted this since you kissed me this morning,” you exaggerate to prove it, resting a hand on top of your stomach. Javier places one of his own on top, curling his fingers around your palm. 
“Te amo,” he says with so much love in his voice that you might melt into the mattress, holding onto your hand tightly as he moves inside of you, experimentally at first and then building up a rhythm that has you feeling dizzy with finally getting what you want. Something is already brewing behind your clit, and Javier knows you come so easily when your hormones play tricks on you. He goes a little faster.
Your other hand comes up to grab at the headboard behind your head, gripping hard as the bed squeaks under the both of you. There’s a desperate need to be loud that you reluctantly keep pushing away, swearing to yourself that you will plan a weekend trip away from home to have Javier fuck you until you scream. You wonder if Chucho can babysit. 
“Tell me I fuck you so good,” Javier interrupts your thoughts.
“Just like that, ah,” you reply breathlessly, “Keep going. You treat me so well, baby.”
“You feel so fucking good, mi amor,” he moans quietly as he continues rocking into your cunt. The wet squelches are dirty evidence that he knows exactly how to fuck you until you can’t comprehend the world around you. When you accidentally cry out, he shushes you, “Shhh, baby, I know. Right there?”
He punctuates the last word by giving you a particularly hard thrust against your g-spot and your hand on the headboard flies down to cover your own mouth. You nod frantically, tears forming at the corners of your eyes as the pleasure increases significantly and the sensitivity borders on overwhelming. 
“You look so good pregnant with my baby,” he praises, slickly sliding in and out of you with ease. Your sheets are soaked with your wetness, “All overwhelmed and sensitive. Look at you, fuck, I wasn’t kidding about that football team. I wanna knock you up over and over and— ah.”
When you finally dare lift the hand from your mouth again, having settled a little, you reach down under your belly to rub your swollen clit. It makes you throw your head back, blood pumping in your ears at how every nerve ending has changed since you got pregnant. Your walls start to clench, and Javier nearly collapses at the feel of your cunt pulling him in further, so you slow down your fingers a little until coming to a halt as to not make it be over already. You want him to fuck you to orgasm, and whilst carrying his baby, it is a lot easier to come from getting your g-spot pounded than it used to be.
“Yeah?” You whisper, breathing ragged, “I’ll give you all the babies you want. Just make me come. Please.”
“Say the bad word as you milk me,” he growls, hips having started to falter as indication that he is close himself. He entwines your fingers, “Come on, you can do it, baby.”
Heaven-sent electricity floods your body in the next second as you come with a silent shout, mouth hanging open and eyes half-lidded. Relief is not the right word; it seems too weak to describe what you are experiencing as you feel the pressure in your lower belly erupt into flutters of pleasure.
“Fuck,” you pant as you realize that you’ve been holding your breath. The swear comes so naturally when he makes you feel so good, “Fuck, Javi, fuck!”
“Shhh… There you are,” he groans at the first feel of your orgasm. It takes only a few of the spasms of muscles before he empties himself inside of you, the wetness of him inside of you sounding obscene, “Good fucking girl coming on my dick.”
It takes a moment to calm down after that.
Javier pulls out of you with a little noise, but then throws himself down onto the bed right beside you. He runs a hand over his forehead, pushing his sweaty hair back, “Jesus Christ.”
“I want more,” you complain, staring up at the ceiling with still ragged breathing.
“Of course you do,” he chuckles, still out of breath himself. 
“Do you think we were too loud?” You ask, turning your head to look at him. 
“Definitely,” he winks but then places a hand on your stomach, rubbing gently, “Is kiddo okay?”
“I think you put them to sleep,” you yawn. 
“I think I put the both of you to sleep,” he retorts. 
“I need to go clean myself first,” you groan at the realization, “C’mon, help your pregnant wife out of bed.”
.
.
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just-jordie-things · 1 year ago
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i walk the line - choso kamo
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word count: 2k warnings: minor(?) shibuya spoilers, choso has a panic attack, mentions of blood/fighting, didn't feel like specifying what (y/n) is doing in mahito's gang lmfao summary: a familiar face finds choso after his fight with itadori and talks him down from a panic attack. the pair realize together that they want to fight for a new cause. ___
How can this be happening? This can’t be real.  He couldn’t have been real.
His hands are shaking, his muscles are losing all feeling, his entire reality is crumbling around him, and from where he stands in the lower levels of the Shibuya train station, it certainly looks like it is too.
Another brother? And so young? 
He’s sinking to the ground before he registers his knees have even gone weak.  The floor is still wet from his fight with Itadori, but ruining his robes is the last thing on his mind.
He hurt him.  He hurt Itadori.  He hurt his little brother.
It wasn’t fair, he hadn’t known that Itadori was family, of course if he had, none of this could have ever happened.  All of this fighting, suddenly rendered pointless, suddenly deeply unjust.  It was all making his head spin, and his vision blur.
This can’t be happening.
He squeezes his eyes shut and clamps his hands over his ears, trying to drown out all the external forces trying to crowd his sensations.  The flow of water on the cracked tiles below him, the distant hollers and screams echoing along the corridors, and the sudden loud stomping of heavy boots through water and rubble.  
When a more familiar voice travels closer at rapid speed, likely carried by the racing stomping, it cuts through the overstimulating echoes bouncing off the tunnel’s brick walls.
“Choso!” Even with the palms of his hands muffling all sound, he can make out that the voice is hollering his name.  
At first he presses his hands against the sides of his head harder, worried he couldn’t trust what reality was anymore.  He’s digging his calloused palms hard into his ears as airtight as possible.  But as much as he wants to turn off all of his senses, he can feel footsteps crashing against the ground and coming towards him.
And then they come to a halt.  He feels some splashes of water soaking through the pant leg at his ankle, but it’s still not enough to make him look up.
“Choso,” He hears his name again, followed by small hands wrapping around his wrists.  
The touch makes him flinch, but he doesn’t immediately pull away.  Heye opened in a flurry of dark lashes and panic, finally letting himself believe she was really there.  She’s a little blurry in front of his teary eyes, but she’s undoubtedly there, crouched before him, wrapped in a trench coat too big for her, and a cap pulled over ears, keeping her usually wild hair tame.  She’s not an illusion, drawn up by his fragmenting mind.  He knows because those are her (y/e/c) eyes staring back at him, usually bright, but currently clouded with concern.  He knows because it was her voice murmuring a string of questions driven by her worry.
“What happened? Are you hurt? Can you walk? Do you understand what I’m saying?” 
(y/n) tries to speak slowly, but a part of her is anxious about not having much time to speak to him at all.  She shouldn’t be here, he told her not to come here, but here she was.
“Say something, please” She begs of him, her thumbs rubbing gentle circles over the bony edges of his wrists.  Finally, he begins to drop his hands from his ears.
“I- my brother-” He croaks out, and she nods as he tries his best to speak, reaffirming that she was trying to understand.  The breath he takes also draws in a groan, but it helps to get some oxygen in his lungs, and he speaks a little more clearly.  “I have a brother” 
(y/n) nods again, brows drawing together as she takes in the information.  It takes a great effort to keep her expression neutral as she processes, not wanting to do anything to trigger anymore panic from him.
“Like- like another one?” She asks, briefly glancing around her to make sure no one else was coming.
Truthfully, she’s terrified.  She may not have been present for what transpired in Shibuya, but she knew that those who had wreaked their havoc on the unsuspecting city couldn’t have gotten far just yet, and she wasn’t equipped like he was to handle monsters such as them.  She should be grabbing him and making him run, getting them both the hell out of there, and anywhere else.  She didn’t care if they had to camp out on the side of the road- if it was far from here, and he was with her, she’d go.  But despite every instinct screaming at her to get to fucking running she stays put, and gives him every ounce of her attention.
“I- I think so?” He gasps out, and his mouth opens and closes a few more times as he struggles to explain the odd feeling to her.  “I don’t- I don’t know how, it d-doesn’t make any sense, but- but I felt it, I know it” 
“Okay,” She nods along.  “Okay, you felt it, yeah? In your blood, you know it” 
“But he- how could he- how can that even be real?” He’s mumbling to himself, shaking his head as he tries to process it all to the best of his ability.  “Can’t be real, can’t be real, can’t be real” Over and over, until he’s trembling before her, and she mirrors his panic.
“Hey, hey, shh, listen to me,” She’s murmuring, letting go of his wrists to snatch at his hands, gripping them firmly, her thumbs pressing into the palms of his hands.  “It’s real, alright? It was real,” She assured him, meeting his eyes.  “You felt it” 
Tears pour down his cheeks.
“I hurt him,” He confesses.  “I hurt my brother,” 
(y/n) blinks at him, sadness flickering over her features as she begins to understand what his terror and panic was all about.  Then again, all at once, his eyes widen, he’s pulling his hands out of hers, and he’s grabbing her by the wrists as he hauls both of them upwards.  Despite the aftershock of a panic attack still crashing over him, Choso is forced to face reality.
And the reality was that she shouldn’t be here.
“You need to go,” He speaks so quickly his words slur together, and his eyes are darting around the abandoned station, trying to find the nearest and safest exit for her to retreat to.  “You shouldn’t be here, it’s still not safe… Mahito… Kenjaku… I don’t know where exactly, but they can’t be far”  
He continues to ramble on, but his words get sloppy and a bit inaudible.  (y/n) shakes her head at him when he tries to push her forward, trying to get her to an exit he deemed safe enough for her to take.
“Wait, stop,” She tries to calmly protest, but her voice falls on deaf ears, Choso’s already dragging her by the arms, even as her boots scrape against the ground in an attempt to slow them both down.  “Choso!” 
Planting both of her feet on the ground firmly, she stares up at him, her eyes wildly looking between his.  She tries to keep her expression calm, she doesn’t want to cause him more distress, but it takes raising her voice for her to get through him in this state.
Her fingers are trembling for an unknown reason as she secures her hands around his forearms.  They stand there in a bloodied puddle of water, both staring at each other with no plan and unanswered questions left between them.
Since their first meeting, (y/n) had felt inexplicably drawn to him.  Everything about him allured her, his demeanor, his voice, his way of thinking, his pretty face, his cursed technique, every part of him that he’d shown to her she found an interest in.
And maybe they hadn’t met for the right reasons.  Maybe what pushed them together were feelings of revenge so old and worn they’d gathered dust.  But what she does know is that since their meeting, she’d been questioning herself and the trajectory of her life more and more.
And right now, standing with him in an abandoned train station left in ruins from the aftermath of an attack she’d almost encouraged and almost taken part in, is that she was letting the wrong emotions push her through life.
Her hands tighten around him, eyes flickering between his as she tries to find the words to voice all of this to him quickly, before their time ran out and worse things fell upon them.
“Let’s just…” Her voice is quiet, and a bit strained, but she takes a deep breath before finishing, “Go” 
Choso blinks, and she feels his hands twitch against her wrists, momentarily squeezing too tight before loosening and holding onto her carefully again.
“Go?” He repeats, but it’s not a question on what she means.  It’s a question of if she truly means it.  It’s hopeful, vulnerable even.  His eyes don’t leave hers one as he awaits her confirmation.
She nods in a small, shaky movement, but she does it a few times, with absolute certainty.
“Yeah,” She breathes out.  “I… this isn’t what I want,” 
She looks away from him as she takes in the destroyed tunnel.  Not only had blood been spilt but walls and industrial beams had been brutalized, and the few inches of standing water did nothing to help it look less ruined.  Her heart sinks as she realizes this is only the beginning, this is only a small fraction of what was to come.
Her eyes find Choso’s again and she shuffles forward, water sloshing around her boots as she moves.
“But I want to be where you are,” She tells him, not a single crack in her voice.  “So wherever, whatever you want to do… I want to go with you” 
Finally, the panic in his eyes seems to settle.  His features relax, and then soften, and in turn (y/n) feels her shoulders release their tension, and a faint smile forms on her face.  Things were far from okay, but she had a feeling in her gut telling her that they would find a way to work in the right direction.
Choso releases her arms, only to cup her face in his hands and pull her in closer, ducking his own head to meet her height properly.
“You already can’t follow instructions when I tell you to stay put anyways,” He says, and he swears her eyes shimmer with an emotion unknown to him but so pretty he dares try to seek it out again.
As soon as his gaze shifts down to her lips, she’s beating him to the chase.  Her hands fly from his arms to his shoulders and her lips are on his before he can even ask her if it was alright to kiss her.  
For Choso, there’s a moment of pure panic that feels different from the last- this one is hot, and feels as though it could lift him right off the ground rather than throw him through it.  But just as quickly as he startled, he melted into her.  He dropped his hold to her hips, sliding his hands under the ridiculously oversized coat she wore to pull her close and kiss her deep.  Their time was still running out, but for this fleeting moment, he needed to be sure she understood exactly where he stood on her staying by his side.
The tips of her fingers are chilly and wet when they slide over the sides of his neck before they reluctantly pull away for air, but Choso’s never felt a touch so lovely and delicate.  She’s slow to open her eyes, slow to say or do anything, even her lips still parted, but he’s staring at her ardently.  There’s an intensity behind his eyes and buzzing in his touch that she longs to chase after.
“Well,” The word falls from her lips under her breath, not having caught it after their sudden kiss.  “What do we do next?” 
And Choso smiles then, slowly but surely, as an idea strikes his mind that is going to sound crazy, but he has a feeling she’s looking for a new direction, and what better place to start than family? 
“We find Itadori” ___
a/n: first choso fic !! <3 bout damn time!!
xoxo ~ jordie
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