#there's a few of them that i dont enjoy but i cant blame the people for appreciating them

[arkiwii]

sometimes I see people tagging my art with "is it ship art?" or directly with ship tags, and I just wanna say

u do whatever you want!! if you wanna see my art as a ship piece, then go for it, even if i dont ship the characters, i dont care [of course this EXCLUDES minors. please never tag a piece with a minor character and an adult as ship art.]

hugs can be platonic or romantic, holding hands as well, kiss your homies goodnight, you know you know

of course i do draw outright romantic art, if you see characters kissing there's a high chance it's not platonic lmao

but the rest idc. up to interpretation. u see whatever u wanna see. im just a silly guy and im not closed to this stuff

[bigwishes]

Forced Freak

Tyson was a uni drop out, nothing special about him other than his pretty face and dedication to his diet. He had no real hobbies and no real friends. The only reason people paid him any real attention was because of his body. However guys got pretty turned off after a one night stand with him when they'd wake up and Tyson would have written them critiques about how to improve their bodies and performance in the bedroom.

Tyson was the worst kind of gym bro, not because he had no real personality, but because he was an asshole with no real personality, in fact when he wasn't coming home from the gym, taking selfies in the mirror or scrolling on grinder for someone to bounce on his waist he spent a large portion of his time staring in the mirror admiring his own perfection.

"fuck yeah, I'm probably the hottest guy alive" he'd say as he rubbed his own crotch.

His arrogant attitude had essentially transformed him into a self obsessed autosexual, whilst he enjoyed sex and having a guy put in all the work whilst he laid back in pleasure he still preferred a night to himself and his mirror.

Tyson flexed his arm one last time, admiring the perfection before him before he turned off his alarm and got up to go to the gym.

"well, I'll see you when I get home handsome" he said winking at his own reflection and snapping his underwear band.

He threw on the folded red tank top and black gym shorts he had lying on his dresser, the ones he had steamed the night before. As he walked out the door he picked up his glass from his morning water and placed it neatly in the dishwasher before turning it on and leaving for the gym.

Upon arriving at the gym Tyson walked into the welcome area where he found 3 tall bodybuilders lined up at the key scanner. Tyson rolled his eyes and tried to avoid contact with them, he hated those freaks. The guys who willingly chose to inflate themselves with disgusting amounts of muscle. Who could barely fit in their cars and he huffed and sweat like bovine beasts when they got on the treadmill.

Tyson quickly got impatient and began tapping his foot as the 3 meatheads were holding up the line.

"are you beasts gonna scan in or am I just waiting here all day"

The three turned their heads to them almost in unison

"yoo you think we are beasts huhu" one flexed his enormous bicep that dwarfed Tyson's head

"hey Ty, what up lil dude. Wanna hit bench with us today? we we can help you grow that chest"

Tyson was disgusted at the thought of working out with the three of them and smelling their terrible stench or listening to them heaving for air.

"no thanks, its hard to improve upon perfection" Tyson said with a smirk

"aw come on dude, you can always improve and get bigger, you aint even close to your limit"

"and I dont want to be" Tyson said with a disgusted frown and one raised eyebrow

There was a loud ding and the three bodybuilders began waddling and shuffling their way through the electronic gate into the gym, having to turn sideways slightly to get their hulking frames in the turn gate.

"This is what I mean" laughed Tyson

"haha, can't blame us for being absolute units man"

"But doesn't it annoy the fuck out of you being like that?"

"no way bro, being this big is fucking awesome"

the three bodybuilders all began laughing and flexing

"I'm sorry I really dont see how turning myself into a...freak would be awesome"

There was a dead silence as the three bodybuilders stopped laughing and turned to him.

"that's a bit of a harsh word bro"

"yeah man don't diss the hobby coz you aint into it"

Tyson smirked flicking as he polished his fitness watch with the edge of his jumper "dude I dont think anyone is into it"

"what the fuck is that supposed to mean"

"umm being so big you have no style because you cant fit into anything, constantly covered in sweat marks, you reek after just a few minutes of exercise, you gulp down water like an elephant who hasn't drunk in a year, can barely fit in your cars and take up so much space, plus I like when guys find me attractive and aren't grossed out by my monstrous body" Tyson turned his back placing his gym bag in the locker completely unaware that the three men he had just insulted looked so red their heads could pop with anger.

"I'LL LET YOU KNOW MY HUSBAND LOOOOVVVEEESSS MY SIZE" the bodybuilder in the middle yelled through his teeth

"whoooaa jayce" the two others said in unison as they grabbed him by the chest and stopped him taking a step forward

"don't shoot the messenger buddy but Im pretty sure your husband wouldn't be disappointed if you lost 30-40lsb of muscle, pretty sure he'd enjoy date night without sitting across from a behemoth stuffing himself so full of protein like a slob"

Jayce threw his arms up in the air and pushed his two friends off of him turning around and walking away.

Tyson ignored the interaction implying pulling his towel and drink bottle out of his gym bag.

"You know what you need Ty..."

"and what's that Mark?" Tyson tiredly asked rolling his eyes

"A real good bulk, make ya real big, that'll change your mind" Mark smirked looking at his friend who was smiling back.

"whatever" Tyson groaned as he walked off into the gym.

---

A few hours had passed and Tyson was in the changing room admiring himself after his workout. It was enough to pump him to that perfect spot where he looked just slightly bigger and was a little sore, but not enough to make him sweat or stimulate the sort of growth a lot of gym guys were after.

Tyson flexed one bicep and ran his other hand down his thigh feeling himself get hard.

"Oh yeah handsome, just wait till I get you in my bed" He smirked at his own reflection.

Just then he heard the sound to the changing rooms open, his hand quickly shot up from his thigh, not wanting anyone to see his moment of lust.

He watched in the mirror as Jayce rounded the corner, his massive and wide shoulders causing him to bump into subway tiled wall. A massive smile lit up on Jayce's face as he saw Tyson standing there.

"Yep" Jayce yelled out

Dylan quickly followed behind and began walking towards Tyson, not that he thought much of it.

"Grab his left Dylan?"

"No worried Jayce"

Tyson was shocked as the two hulking bodybuilders suddenly grabbed hold of his arms and used what felt like all of their strength to sandwich him between them.

"h-HEY WHAT THE FUCK GET OFF" Tyson struggled and squirmed to get out of there grip but it felt like he was being pressed between two stone walls, he was unable to do anything other than pathetically kick his legs.

Just then Tyson heard the door to the changing rooms lock as Mark rounded the corner.

"Mark!, tell your fucking boys to let me go!"

The three bodybuilder's laughed as Mark walked closer holding a strange metal container in his hand that resembled a protein shaker.

"Hey lil dude" Said Mark with a big smirk across his face

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THREE WANT" Tyson snapped.

"to prove you wrong man" Jayce whispered

'w-what" Tyson continued to flounder and squirm to no avail

"you said being a bodybuilder sucked, well we are gonna prove you wrong" Dylan smirked tightly squeezing Tyson's arms

"h-how, Im not gonna start bodybuilding because you three threaten me"

"oh there is no threat bud, we have got something we want to try but dont know about the side effects wanna test it"

"ARE YOU GONNA JAB MY ASS FULL OF ROIDS" Tyson squeaked pathetically

"no dude, of course not" Said Mark

"we already know the side effects to roids" laughed Jayce

Mark grabbed onto Tyson's perfect hair and forcefully pulled his head back, Tyson couldn't see but he felt Jayce wrap his giant muscular arm around his pinning his between Jayce's bulky bicep and forearm and grabbing his cheeks forcing his jaw open.

"bottoms up pretty boy" Mark said as he flicked the cap off the contained with his thumb and shoved the mouth piece into Tyson's mouth.

"MMMMM -MMMM -MMMMMMM!!!!!!" Tyson tried to yell but his mouth was full of a strange thick liquid.

Mark dropped the contained and grabbed Tyson's nose still forcing the container to his lips

"gotta drink if you wanna breathe buddy"

Tyson couldn't hold it any longer

GULP...GULP...GULP.....GULP

Tyson sucked down what was in his mouth and what continued to pour from the container, when the last drop was drunk and all he could taste was air the three bodybuilders all let go in unison and Tyson dropped to the ground gasping for air.

"How long does it take to work Mark?"

"errr container says a few minutes for a start and a week for full effects"

Tyson couldn't concentrate on what the three were talking about, his body began to feel like it was being super heated, like his muscles and bones were being fried into pudy.

Tyson's hand began to tremble, as he looked at it pressed against the cold tiled floor he noticed his thumb enlarging, getting longer and thicker, it spread to all his fingers and his hand, at first he thought it was an allergic reaction but it wasn't puffy or fat, it was hard solid and defined, like all the muscles in his hands were suddenly expanding, he watched as his handed swelled up to the size of dinner plates as veins in his arms and forearms pumped in sync with his heart beat.

His forearms stared growing outwards and he felt his already tight and pumped biceps ache as they swelled even bigger. Seeing his reflection in the mirror he looked like a bad art project as different parts of his body were swelling with size and different times, his shoulders got wider as his calves got bigger, his pecs inflated as his feet grew out of his shoes, his abs bloated into a semi roid gut as his quads quickly filled with blood, and his ass pumped up into a big meaty globe as his traps crept up his back swallowing his necks.

after just a few minutes the three bodybuilders were stunned looking down at the sweaty bulky mess that was Tyson on the floor of the changing room.

Tyson had watched the whole thing in the mirror but still he couldn't recognise himself, what had happened, what they did to him.

He looked like one of them, a bodybuilder.

"w-what did you do to me" Tyson moaned, out of breath and out of energy

"damn, he got huge so quick, and he still has a week to go?"

"please, no, no bigger, turn me back"

the three bodybuilders began to have a conversation around Tyson like he wasn't even there as he tried to pick himself up off the floor. A few minutes passed and Tyson finally stood up. He felt uncomfortable, muscles he didn't even know where near each other rubbed up against each other like every aspect of his body was fighting for space.

Tyson looked at himself horrified in the mirror at the big bulky freak he had become.

"oh fuck..m..my perfect body" he turned to the three men behind him "please, please you gotta turn me back"

"you still got a week of growin left bud" Mark replied

"PLEASE I CAN'T GET BIGGER"

Jayce smirked trying to contain his laughter

"Look dude, we said we were gonna show you how being a bodybuilder is awesome, let it go for a week and we'll check back in and if you still hate it, we'll turn you back"

Tyson turned back to his reflection and flexed, freaked out by his bicep being larger than his own head.

"see, its already awesome, see you later dude"

The three bodybuilders started walking out of the changing room

"no WAIT!!"

Tyson ran over to his bag feeling the weight of his new body with every step and feeling his hard muscles bounce. He leant over and swung his bag over his shoulder. He watched as the door closed behind the three and he ran to catch up. Every step was a chore, it was like an entire workout for just one leg to hold up the weight of his new massive body.

By the time he reached the door Tyson doubled over gasping for air, he placed his giant meaty hand on the wall and slid down the the floor, he had only run a few feet but it felt like he had just done and three hours of cardio without a break, he felt the sweat running down his back and struggled to come up with a reason anyone would want to be this big, why guys would dedicate their lives to become titans.

it took 15 minutes, for Tyson to catch his breath and stand up again and by the time that happened the three he was after were already gone, he walked through the gym defeated hoping nobody would recognise him. He made it to the turn gate and as he went to go through he felt a hard pressing against his shoulders. Not at all used to his new size Tyson hadn't adjusted the angle that he approached the gate and found himself stuck between the two steel bars. Tyson pushed with his back leg but didn't realise the power behind his colossal quads as he easily pushed himself out but he couldn't stop the moment and he came tumbling forward face first onto the floor in front and multiple gym attendants.

"woah, you okay big guy" one of them asked,

Tyson looked up and saw the other two doing their best not to laugh.

"yeah I'm fine!" Tyson tried to get up as fast as he could but the sheer weight of his frame meant it was an awkward step by step process that took almost a whole minute.

Tyson quickly raced out the doors as fast as his could but once again misjudged his giant muscles and his two shoulders slammed into the automatic doors not realising they weren't wide enough for him. A loud bang rang out and Tyson looked back as the glass automatic doors wobbled and shook, and ounce more pressure and they would have surely crashed down around him.

Tyson waddled through the car park desperate to get to his car. Swinging open the door he quickly realised why he had never seen a bodybuilder in a sleek sports car, he didn't fit, just one leg stepped in and there wasn't any more room for him to squeeze in. He tried everything, moving the seat back, moving the wheel up, but still he didn't fit. After about 10 minutes of doing everything he could think of to get in he just decided to force his way in.

Sliding into the car he felt cramped, and when he closed the driver's door it bounced off his arm and swung back open denting the car next to him. Tyson tried again leaning all the way into his car and shutting the door. It shut but as he sat back up he found himself on an awkward angle to the wheel, he tried to adjust himself to roll down the window so he could stick his arm out and get more space but as he placed his arm down on the leather seat to push his own body out the way he heard a loud tearing. His clothes didn't feel loser and he couldn't see what had torn but it sounded bad...

When Tyson arrived home he squeezed himself out of his car, it felt like being freed from a sardine can but as he turned around to shut his door he had found the source of the tearing noise from earlier, in the centre of the seat, directly under where he was, was now a large split right down the leather, seats that cost over a thousand dollars to fix split apart like paper, and that wasn't the worst of it, he looked at the lower back of the seat to see how the leather had warped and swollen from the amount of sweat that had been pressed against it.

"AW MAN" Tyson moaned slammed his car door, not realising the force his arms were able to put behind it and as the door lodged into place his hand carried the momentum behind it straight into the metal of the car leaving a large dent from his palm.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME"

Tyson stormed over to his front door just wanting the day to end. He pulled up his keys to the front door and fumbled for a few minutes as he struggled to sort though them with his massive meaty fingers, finally he got in the door and shut it behind him as gently as he could which still resulted in a slam.

His stomach let out a loud groan, he had never felt so hungry so sudden in his life, Tyson tried to walk to the kitchen but realised it was more of a waddle has his massive muscular thighs slammed into each other. Arriving in front of his fridge he opened it up and grabbed one of his already made meals out and placed it in the microwave to heat up. He watched in spinning round and heard his stomach grumble as the 2 minutes felt like an entirety. Finally he heard the beep and opened up the microwave to devour his meal. What normally would have left him feeling full for hours didn't even make a dent in his hunger. Tyson opened up his fridge and moved on to his next meal without even heating it up, then another, then a protein shake to wash it down, then another meal and a couple apples, along with a banana or two, and of course he had to pull some of the muffins out of the freezer to defrost to have a bit later.

Tyson sat on his couch, feeling groggy and finally full. He looked around him, plates, protein shakers, wrappers and plastic containers were spread out all over his lounge room from the floor to the coffee table. He felt so heavy he didn't want to get up, he just wanted to pass out on his couch and go to sleep. As his eyes began to drift close...

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

The loudest belch he had ever heard forced him to jolt awake.

"aw fuc-uuuuUUURRPPP, this place is a mess"

Tyson finally realised he had trashed his lounge room in his feeding frenzy, he got up to try and clean but he didn't get very far. His body was so massive it was hard to move between his furniture and it was hard for him to constantly bend down to pick stuff up. On his second trip back from the kitchen to clean the last of the mess he finally noticed where he had been sitting, and the enormous sweat patch pressed into the fabric.

He pulled his tight tank top out from his body realising it looked like he had never washed it in his life.

"god, I need a fucking shower"

He made his way down the hall to the bathroom where he was shocked by his own reflection. He knew he had been turned into a hulking behemoth but, he looked like a completely different person now. His tank top was tight and clung to his body as his pecs hung out the sides. It was covered in sweat patches and strains from spilt protein shakes and food. His face was covered in a coat of sweat and his hair was oiler than he'd ever seen before. Tyson's gut churned as he let out another belch. He suddenly felt a tightness in his pants and he got hard.

"what the fuck..."

Tyson lifted up one arm to flex his bicep, he watched the sweat running down from his pits to his lats, he swallowed a quick gulp of air expecting maybe a small burp but was greeted with a massive room shaking belch. Tyson couldn't help it, he got rock solid staring at his sweaty body and hearing his own manly belching.

He worked his hand down awkwardly to his dick and started to pleasure himself.

He couldn't work it out, he missed his perfect body, he missed his old self, he was grossed out by being such a freak but god he was too horny to not please himself.

Right before his big moment he felt a wave of heat surge out into his body, his clothes felt tighter and suddenly the left strap of his tank top snapped as his shoulder, pec and arm practically doubled in size.

"AAH NO, NO NOT AGAIN"

Tyson watched as his dirty tank was torn to shreds by his growing body. His shorts felt tighter and tighter, soon he felt the sound of ripping fabric. As he turned to the side to inspect his growing legs he saw as his muscled ass split his pants in the back and the fabric quickly tore through making his shorts look like a bad loin clothe prop from a Halloween costume.

"OH FUCK NO, STOP, STOP AHHHH"

Tyson could only watch as his body continued to rapidly grow in the mirror...

--------------

3 weeks later

Tyson leant back on the workout bench groaning and gasping for air. It was the most he had ever lifted, not that he wanted to get bigger but it was the only thing he could do with his day at this point.

He heard the noise of 3 guys cheering as Mark, Jayce and Dyaln approached him.

"HEY BIG MAN" Said Mark

"oh great, what do you guys want"

"relax big guy, just wanted to bring you a snack" Dylan laughed as he pulled out a paper bag of drive through crispy chicken and handed it to Tyson.

"Dont forget to wash it down" said Jayce handing him a protein shake

Tyson didn't have the will power to hold back, his new muscle and size burnt so much fuel from simple existing he was practically starving constantly. He immediately reached into the bag and started eating as much as he could as fast as he could, washing it down with a swig of the protein shake, only taking breaks to gasp for air.

A river of chocolate protein ran down his cheek and dripped onto his XXXL tank top, which looked more like a medium crop top on him.

A young handsome gym attendant walked over to the group with a smile on his face.

"hey guys, just a reminder, you can't eat like that in here save it for outside okay" He smiled as he looked straight into Tyson's eyes.

Tyson's mind was racing, this guy was the most handsome guy he had ever seen in his life, we wanted to apologise for being such a slob, hell, he wanted to ask the guy on a date.

Tyson rubbed the crumbs and protein from his mouth away with the back of his hand and opened his mouth. Immediately he gritted his teeth and almost by instinct at this point cocked the side of his mouth open.

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPP!!

Tyson couldn't help but belch and burp as he struggled to get a word out.

"bro..that's nasty" the gym attendant laughed as he walked away.

Mark, Jayce and Dylan all erupted with laughter.

"DUUUUUUDDEEEE" yelled Dylan

"You aren't gonna get a date like that dude I tell you that" laughed Jayce

"They probably wouldn't date him even if he didn't burp every couple of minutes, I mean who wants to date a bodybuilder freak right guys" Mark laughed as he rubbed Tyson's shoulders

"Yeah, you're right Mark, nobody wants a freak like Tyson" Dylan chuckled.

Tyson couldn't control it, the sound of their laughter, the way the three called him a freak and a slob. His dick got hard and he felt as a mixture of pre and cum leaked into his underwear.

They were never going to change him back, he was going to be stuck as this good for nothing muscle pig, forever....

he threw himself back down on the bench..

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPP

[onskepa]

Left Behind: Moments

Here is another chapter of the left behind series! Hope you all enjoy!

Left behind series

---------------------

Jake’s pov 

“So ummm…..I was told to vlog my day to day stuff. Guess to keep record of things I do and not lose my shit on this planet” Jake tells himself on camera. It has been a few hours since he woke up from his cryo sleep. His body ached, felt like a statue from not moving for 5 years. 

“This is year is 2154….those fuckers lied. It's been 7 years since I left Earth for this jungle gym crap. 7 years felt like nothing. My baby girl, probably in her preteen years right now. I wonder how she is doing. I wouldn't blame her if she hates me, no scratch that. She is incapable of hate. Maybe mad, yeah. But not hate. I want this mission to be done and over with.” 

Jake’s pov

“First day in my avatar…gotta say, it felt fucking amazing. I was able to breathe the native air! Best part, I can run! WOOHOOO! YES! Oh man, never in my life have I felt this amazing. Though I did get carried away. When I woke up in my new body, the excitement got to me. I ran almost all over the fields, the basketball court, the botanical gardens, it felt great. Almost got in trouble but grace was there to save my ass” 

“Still have to adjust to this body, grace is giving me a week to get used to it. I am not the only one though, there is a weird guy named Normal Spellman. Nerdy but otherwise cool. He is the one who studies alongside with tommy. Good pals I can only imagine. He just got his avatar too”

“I bet if my baby girl was here, she would be surprised. With everything really. Maybe a bit scared. Would enjoy it no doubt. Learn how this planet works. I cant help it. I wonder what she is doing. Is she making friends? Doing good in school? So many things. But I know the sooner I get this mission done, the sooner I get home to her” 

“Gotta rest now, got a big day tomorrow, this is Jake Sully, singing out” 

Jake’s pov 

“Colonel Quaritch, tough and kinda scary guy but he keeps people safe here. As safe as it can get on this planet. Met him in the brief meeting as a welcome home type of talk. But, weirdly enough, I admire him. He seems to know what he is doing and how to do it. Said he has a special mission for me, didn't say what yet but to expect a visit from him soon” 

“I can worry about that later. Tomorrow starts a new mission. Get samples from more remote areas of the forest. Norm was given a special task. Try to make a peaceful contact with the aliens here. Na’vi is what they are called. Grace gave me a brief on them. Some important figures too. Guess they have a system of rulers here. Like the old native tribes back on Earth. My missions is to guard and make sure grace and norm get what they need” 

“I will be honest, does not seem too bad. Was given the ok to shoot any possible threats. Practice with the guns, proud to say I have not lost my aim. It is getting late but I still have to do this. Does keep my mind busy, recalling the day’s events. I am starting to get into a routine” 

“After shutting off the camera, I look at the picture of me and my daughter. I would stare at it for a while until my eyes drop. See this? It was the day I won a little toy for her at an arcade. She was so happy. Not often was I able to give her something new. Hopefully the paychecks are getting funded for her needs. I bet she is getting nice, brand new things” 

“So many birthdays I missed. Im so sorry baby girl, but I promise, the second I go back, I will give you the biggest hug ever. Buy you all the gifts you could ever want, hell, if the pay is that good, get a better place. Maybe close to your favorite park that you like to play in. Better yet, go to the zoo like you always wanted. I know you will be much older but I dont care. You are my baby girl for life. Nothing is going to change that” 

“Guess now I better log off. Big day tomorrow, this is Jake Sully, signing off”

Jake’s pov 

“Things didn't go right during the mission and I was split up from grace and norm. A giant weird animal, thana-something called by grace, deadly, found us. Had his eyes on me, grace told me to run so I went the opposite direction of where those to were, to not get them in the crossfire. Seriously, that animal was huge, but I guess by some miracle, a bigger animal came into view. Like in those old nature documentaries, the two giants began to fight. Either way, I made a run for cause I know it was not going to end pretty” 

“I got lost along the way, had no idea where I was or how far I was from the crew. Took me sweet time though. Admiring the pretty sights that Pandora had to offer. Felt like a kid again. Everything was bright, colorful, alive. I can see why the RDA wants to use the resources here. Crazy to think that Earth was one like this. Green, healthy, breathing” 

“Of course somewhere along the way I lost myself even more, lost my gun. Had to make a spear then turn it into  a torch because night came. Now night time felt like a whole different world. Everything glowed, pretty almost neon colors illuminated the plats. Some small creatures also glowed. Sad that I couldn't appreciate it enough. Got attacked” 

“Freaking hyena looking animals, running in a pack. The fire helped create a distance as I ran but they were too many, though I was done for. My ass got saved by an unlikely person” 

Jake’s pov 

“Neytiri, princess of the Omatikaya clan. Scary lady but she saved me. Called me a baby, and told me that I have a strong heart. Stuff happened and next thing you know, I am in their home base. Word passed and neytiri was tasked to train me. Teach me their ways. I am where the RDA needs me to be. It is now only a matter of time. Give the Colonel what he wants, give grace what she wants. It is a win-win situation” 

“Still holding out on that little meeting Quaritch wants to have with me. Maybe it won't be that far, since now I am within the premise of the indigenous, I guess I need to collect more info” 

“A lot happened so to say. I gotta rest soon. If allowed, I can bring something from here, take it with me when I get back home. Pictures seem the best answer. Or something na’vi related. My little girl knows so little of what is being told about pandora. Or knew I should say. How old is she now….? Probably a preteen. Guess I dodged a bullet. I know pre-teen years are hell. No, I shouldn't say that” 

“Soon baby girl. The wait will be worth it. Like I promised. Training day begins tomorrow, so, with that, this is jake sully, signing out” 

Jake’s pov 

“I am part of the people. I am the son of the people and child of Eywa. Passing my iknimaya, taming my ikran, everything. I am na’vi. It feels unreal, hard to accept. Tsu’tey and I are brothers, wasn't that long ago he wanted to kill me, calling me ugly, but now we are at the same level” 

“They celebrated my rebirth. It was fantastic, neytiri made me dance even though I was terrible at it. The whole thing felt magical. Truly, I felt like I really belonged somewhere, being accepted. It felt nice. Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, it did get better” 

“Surprise surprise, I am now mated to neytiri. She took me to the tree of voices, telling me of how sacred and precious it is, being able to connect to their ancestors. It was beautiful. Neytiri was beautiful, still is. Taking my breath away, and my availability” 

“I wouldn't change it for anything, she is someone I have come to love with all my heart. As cheesy as it sounds, it's true. Neytiri changed me, made me better, and I have no regrets”

Jake’s pov 

“They are starting to pressure us, more like me. The RDA really want the omatikaya gone, away from their home tree. Just because it houses the materials they want. It is not easy, none of it is easy. To tell them to leave, when it's been their home for thousands of years. According to Grace, I don't doubt her. This is their home, it is us who are the aliens” 

“They are not going to leave, nothing is going to change their minds. Worst yet, I know quaritch will do drastic things to get what he wants. I was an idiot to follow him, to believe him. What he will do, knowing his tactics, he will shed blood and bullets. I need to warn neytiri, mo’at, tsu’tey. Can't believe this is coming out of my mouth, but I pray to Eywa, that she guides me. What can I do to make sure things don't go downhill” 

“I came to make good money, to finish the mission given to me and be done with. Now, I am in a moral dilemma. I am stuck” 

Jake’s pov

“I am sorry. No amount of sorry’s that I say will ever be enough for anyone. Not to neytiri, not to eytukan, not to mo’at, tsu’tey grace, norm, anyone. It will never be enough. I brought this to them, it is only right that I help. War is coming, and soon. So many na’vi died when they destroyed their home tree. Many wounded, kids, infants, innocent lives” 

“Grace and I did our best to warn them, tell them to leave. Tsu’tey was adamant to fight, their weapons useless against the valkyries. In an instant, all was gone. I wanted to apologize to neytiri, she was furious, telling me I am not one of those people. She is right. Before anything more could be done, those damn bastards forced me to pull out. Pushed me in a tight closure” 

“Quaritch, a beast he is, heartless. Keeping me locked up yet outside of my cage he dangles the picture of my little girl. Telling me it's not too late to take his side if I ever want to go back to earth and see her again. Going on about how she will react to all of this. Her father rebelling against humanity. As much as I hate to admit…”

“He is right….I dont know if I will see her again. I hate to say….sacrifices have got to be made. I'm sorry, but I have to atone my sins. Like I said, no amount of sorry’s will be enough. Not even for my little girl, I am sorry baby girl, but daddy is not coming home”

Jake’s pov 

“We won. Quaritch is dead, and unfortunately, so is Grace and tsu’tey. Both sides lost many lives. Yet that is war, but we won. Humans are no more, many left, only few remained. Sworn their loyalty to the na’vi. Only they can stay. We made many sacrifices, I made many.  Many I dont regret, or will look back to. This is the beginning of a new chapter for me. There is nothing left to hold me back, not my past, not my memories.  I am at peace with what I did” 

“Neytiri is with a child, I am excited, I am going to be a father. I cant wait when they arrive, I will be there, welcoming my son or daughter into a new world of peace. First born, neytiri likes to say it over and over.  She is not wrong, our first child together in a new era of peace” 

“However there is still one thing left to do. A grand celebration is going to be held” 

“This I look forward to, many are coming together for it. It is my birthday after all, can't miss my own party. So, one last time. This is Jake Sully, the human, signing out. For good” 

Third pov

A young girl looks at the last vlog of her father, Jake Sully, eyes wide as she takes in what she just saw. This was a side she never knew, nor did she think it would be hidden.  

She clenches her hands into a fist tightly, gritting her teeth, her body shaking in fury. Hot tears streaming down her face, not knowing whether to cry in sadness or scream in anger. So many emotions mixed, creating a tornado in her mind. 

Hearing a door open behind her, she turns to glare at the man. 

“Why….” was all she could say before breaking down.

Aaaaaaaaaaand that is it for this chapter of the ongoing series! This one I chose to have only jake be the main point, his vlogs. See how his mind changes, perspective and what lead to the final choice. Trust me, this will come back for future chapters. So until next time! See ya!

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[laura1633]

Oh wow i have a serious problem i just went over what i wrote to you and i probably should have stopped at the first two sentences but it gets me upset the abuse lando faces i dont even like the guy i perfer oscar, max, charles and carlos but even i know that sending death threats to someone is not okay, and it upsets me that people almost always take his words out of context like when did lando say he actually had a chance at winning the wdc this year? I've seen people bash on him for the latest race where max raced incredibly, but what they dont seem to understand is that the race's terrible race conditions could have actually seriously injured him, we all seem to forget that the guy is younger then max, less experienced, and has huge problems with self-worth that actively seem to affect the way he race's. the fact that max won in the rust bucket that barely seemed to work in favor of the guy is incredable, but bashing on another driver for seemingly not wanting to take a chance with the awfull race conditions (*please note that this is what it looked like to me on what lando was doing that race where he did make mistakes but the weather wasnt helping ether* also note that that franco, oliver and others commented ether on the weather being dangerous, their cars 'Presumably the cars not agreeing with the weather ether', or the fact they couldnt see for shit and out right stated that someone should have a talk with the fia *i couldnt watch the whole race but ive seen snippets of driver radio's and the like, so i cant say with 100% certainty that this is correct*)

So yeah i think that, if i as someone who doesnt like lando, its really concerning what some people say about the guy and as a side note none of the other drivers seem to notice the hate from what ive seen but this last part might just be me. What are your thoughts on the hate lando's been getting seeming to increase anytime he seems to actually want to enjoy racing with the other more popular (equally popular?) Drivers?

🍑anon

Hi anon, 

That’s okay, I will respond to this ask rather than the previous one (but just for context for anyone else the previous ask was about fan fiction so wan’t anything mean). This ended up being a really lengthy answer because I have lots of thoughts!!! 

I’ll put the answer under the cut and tag as anti Lando despite this really just being my opinion and I personally don’t think I am being particularly harsh here but maybe people will disagree.

Firstly hopefully to most people it goes without saying that sending death threats is not okay, that goes for any of the drivers (and various other individuals that I have seen targeted over the past few years). I also have never understood people specifically going to an individual’s social media page just to spout negativity or abuse at them, if you don’t like someone you don’t need to follow them. 

However, I am surprised that people seem to be shocked that Lando is receiving hate online as this is absolutely nothing new and, if I am being honest, I have seen worse (not that this is a competition!).

I will speak from the perspective of being a Max supporter and say that the abuse he has received both online and at track has been appalling over the years. After Silverstone 2021 there were plenty of comments from people saying he ‘deserved’ such an awful crash or that they wished it had been worse. Even this year there were memes going around saying that maybe we needed a repeat of Silverstone 21 (a meme liked by Lando’s dad no less, not that I think we should be blaming children for their parent’s actions!). Not only that but there is rarely a week that goes by that I don’t see jokes online about how Jos is the only one that ‘can beat Max’ or people posting memes about Max being left at a gas station when he does badly. Max needed a bodyguard in Mexico last year because there were concerns over death threats, he’s been booed up on the podium, had people chanting cheat at him in the fan zone, every comment section on his social media includes comments telling him he is a cheat or that his achievements mean nothing. The British media are like vultures any time there is even a hint of controversy. I don’t know why everyone is suddenly up in arms about Lando receiving hate, perhaps its a case of only caring when it happens to ‘their’ driver. 

It doesn’t just happen to Max either. I don’t follow Lewis on social media but I still know the type or racist abuse he has faced over the years. Other drivers also receive abuse - Lance for example has vile things said about him, Nicholas Latifi was sent death threats after 2021. I am sure most if not every driver has experienced some level of hate. Social media can be extremely toxic. 

Do I think any of the drivers should have to deal with such toxicity? No, but Lando is nowhere near the only one to receive hate and I don’t think someone like Max who appears ‘strong’ should have to put up with things because people get the impression it doesn’t bother him.

Whether the other drivers notice, well probably they do but its not happening just to Lando. Did Lando realise how much toxicity was being thrown at Max after Austria or Mexico? Did he try and calm things with the media or did he double down and make things worse for Max? 

As for taking Lando’s words out of context. That definitely happens from time to time, the same as with any driver. Media goes for clickbait headlines and run with them. The problem is that Lando has also said things that haven’t been taken out of context and that people still find distasteful. The comments about it not being talent and being luck did not come across well. I was tempted to give him the benefit on that one and assume he was referring to himself and saying it was not him being untalented but unlucky but then he doubled down by saying nobody deserved to win the race more than George - how can I take that any other way other than the fact he was saying Max didn’t ‘deserve’ to win the race. 

As for Lando saying he thought he could win the WDC, if he didn’t think he could win it this year then to me that would be more of a concern. He has a championship winning car and has done for most the season, if he can’t win it now then when?! He should have been confident that he could win or at least put up a good fight. I would have had no problem with him openly saying he is going for the championship. Look at Charles who is not afraid to say that whilst it is still possible he is still fighting. I think part of the problem here lies with Mclaren because they should have been fully backing Lando and hyping him up but seemed to flip flop back and forth about whether they thought he was truly in the fight. It’s hardly going to give Lando confidence when his team don’t seem to be backing him as strongly as they could be. 

As for Brazil, Lando didn’t have a great race. George got past him at the start. He made too many errors. Charles finished in front of him despite starting behind him. Max, Esteban and Pierre took a risk staying out on those worn inters, they gambled on the fact the race would be red flagged but also on their abilities and confidence to keep the car on track under those conditions. They all did extremely well and deserved their podium spots. The most important thing though is that all the drivers came away without serious injuries because over the course of that weekend there were numerous occasions where entertainment was put over safety. If a driver felt they had to pit for safety reasons then I am glad they took that step.

Lando is younger than Max but I don’t think we need to baby him in terms of his racing or in terms of giving him a free pass with what he says in the media. He is 24 years old, the same age Max was when Max won his first championship under very intense pressure. 

I think you are correct about confidence or self worth affecting him. Whilst I wouldn't like to comment to much on his mentality, to me (and I don’t tend to watch too many of his interviews so I could be wrong) he seems to flop back and forth between being overly critical of himself and then also not taking accountability and saying someone else just had the fastest car or were lucky. I think it would be really good for him to be able to look as objectively as possible about where he has actually made mistakes and can improve but also being able to pick out the things he has done well and be proud of those things. 

Overall I don’t think any drivers should have to put up with the amount of hate that they have to put up with but Lando is not the only one to receive hate and, dare I say it, I don’t even think it has been as vicious as some of the things I have seen over the years. Social media is toxic and people should be more mindful and realise these are real people - all of them!! 

Also, once again lets be thankful that nobody was seriously hurt over the weekend and lets hope the Fia take steps to act more swiftly when safety cars and red flags are needed and that they put safety above other concerns.

[youremyheaven]

How does sensuality work? I never understood (probably because I am way too stuck in the head). Sometimes I aspire to be honestly, though it doesn't come naturally unfortunately.

OMGGG I love this question 🤪✨😍

I consider myself very sensual 🥰🤪😜 and I realllyyy enjoy being in that energy 😌🫣🙈

First of all, lets begin by understanding what sensuality is and what it is not.

There is a world of difference between sexuality and sensuality. they're like night and day.

and you can be one without being another. because of the culture we live in, most people are sexual without being sensuous.

Sensual is understood as involving the five senses but also being sexually suggestive.

Sexual means relating to sex

Sensuality is more about enjoying yourself and life than it is about sexually pleasing or being sexually inviting. Sensual people seem more alive and vibrant because they truly enjoy the simple things and fine things, so they dont sweat the small stuff and usually maintain a calm and relaxed demeanour.

Sexual energy is more frantic, more wild, more aggressive. its very in your face and hard to miss. its someone asking you to give it to them, basically.

Sensuality is self-contentment and enjoying pleasure in all its many forms. be it food, music, dance, art, walking, looking at the sunset. A sensual person just enjoys absolutely everything. When you're in the presence of that energy, you feel similarly relaxed and open. They come across as warm, open and welcoming, its comfortable being around them. Someone who is fully alive will always naturally be perceived as "sexy" because they signal that they're open to enjoyment and pleasure.

All of these are subconscious impressions we form of people in nanoseconds, and whether we know it or not, we all pick up on energy and treat people accordingly. Why do we feel like being nicer to some people and standoffish with others??? its all down to the vibe. you can be a "good" person and still feel like you cant be good to some people who havent even done anything to you. its all just vibes.

I suggest reading Uses of the Erotic by Audre Lorde to understand this more. It's an essay and it's only a few pages long and she describes being erotic as a feeling of being alive.

pleasure activism by adrienne maree brown is another book i recommend on this topic.

now onto HOW to be sensual

Sensuality means being fully alive, open and vibrant. So in order to be sensual, you have to embody that.

You correctly said that you're too in your head and feel disconnected to sensuality because in order to be sensual, we have to get out of our head and into our bodies.

Sensuality necessitates forming a deep profound connection with our bodies.

This is why dancing is so sensual. just moving your body can feel so vulnerable but there is nothing as sexy or confident as someone who knows how to move???

there are many dance centered trauma release + "feminine flow" type activities. i know many of you get the ick from hearing things like "feminine flow" and i dont blame you lmao but being feminine, strictly energetically speaking means being relaxed, soft and flowing. thats Yin energy in Daoism.

dating in our era sucks because even men want princess treatment and it shows that Yin energy is def something that can be channelled by people regardless of gender lmfao xD

now many people have adopted a very harsh, aggressive "go-getting" approach to succeeding our toxic capitalist patriarchal world and whilst that might help us make some progress, we're constantly at the risk of burnout. so its in our best interest and for our long term well being to learn how to be chilled out and not sweat the small stuff.

think of Yin energy as the energy of being chilled out.

we can win and gain things by fighting for it but isnt it better to gain the same things in a softer gentler way??? you can work 200 hours a week, suck up to your boss and do all the extra work and someone else who does none of that will get 5 promotions while u get nothing. basically, life is not "fair", i.e, our efforts aren't necessarily going to be compensated for adequately and if you can get better results by doing less and chilling more, then whats the harm????

people who go far in life are often just people who are pleasant and fun to have around. look at any self-made individual and they'll have boat loads of charisma. whereas nepo babies wont even know how to hold a conversation bc they never had to lmao

anyways sorry for getting sidetracked (me everytime i talk lmao)

Do more body-centric activities to feel more connected to your body

this can be dancing, yoga, pilates or any exercise, or other hobbies like pottery, sewing, painting, basically anything you can do with the involvement of your body??? do that

they help you get out of your head and be in the here and now

being more present is like 50% of sensuality

and once you do things you care about more, you'll naturally shift to a place where you cut out things you dont enjoy and people you dont want to be around. youll enjoy life more. its all connected.

When you see someone with that raw earthy sexiness, don't they just seem so wild and free??

It's that. Someone who has that glow ✨

i hope this helped and provided some insights <333 i hope you get glowingggg <333

[last-flight-of-fancy]

I would love to hear your trans alphinaud and lesbian alisaie headcanons or more about the subtext you see! Especially alisaie.

AHHH oh gosh i would love to answer!! Though I must admit that these are built from many (MANY) small moments across the whole game more than a few easily pointed at examples, which means its.. kind of difficult to pull up (and remember) all the evidence.

That being said, i do still have Many Thoughts about it :DDD

First off trans Alphinaud was set into my mind very early on by one simple fact: identical twins are almost always born the same sex. like almost invariably, with the very rare exceptions needing some wild extenuating circumstances. and you cannot tell me those two are fraternal.

now ofc this is fiction, and a fantasy world besides. who's to say the writers knew that particular fact? well good news! alphinaud presents a *lot* of other common trans experiances, which are scattered throughout the msq and optional side dialogue.

(shoutout to me for having the exact same thought four years apart before and after playing the game myself. i have absolutely no memory of the first post at all because i also have no memory of watching my partner play shadowbringers even though i definitely did. rare adhd memory loss win! i got to experiance my favourite thing for the first time twice!)

post 1: dated 2019, talking about how alphinaud is extremely trans coded, being an identical twin of a different gender to his twin, cannot swim, is body shy and *extremely* hesitant about using public showers, and having interests that are traditionally coded as feminine in fiction.

post 2: dated 2023, the same thing but this time talking about how wonderfully alphinaud and alisaie are made to complement each other in opposite ways.

he cant swim: related to the body-shyness and hesitance around the showers, its VERY common for trans people to experiance these things due to dysphoria and societal perceptions. i myself started experiancing this (even though i LOVE swimming) when pubescence started to hit. (it sucks!) alphinaud was probably one of those ones who realised VERY early what he was (logic boy who is too dang smart for his own good) so he just.. never learned to swim at all. kept his nose buried in books instead.

traditionally feminine interests/abilities: sure it could be trope subversion, but personally i think theyre also things he just enjoyed before transitioning and thus continued to do.

and one more that i can remember off the top of my head: alisaie's reaction to estinian mistaking her for alphinaud.

"but alphinaud has no problem with being mistaken for-" let me explain, i swear it makes sense.

see, alphinaud is a little logic boy at heart, we know this. he knows he and alisaie share their features, that is simply a fact. alisaie though? alisaie is ruled by feeling, and reacts accordinly. most notably the Incident when she first meets estinian.

what i find especially interesting about this is that prior to that moment with estinian, neither of them appear to have much issue with their similarities. it's only after shadowbringers that alisaie reacts with such contempt

(probably not helped by her not liking estinian much in general lol)

what this says to me is that some time before or during ShB, alphinaud told alisaie that the way people mistake him for her does bother him, but he can't blame them for the mistake considering the circumstances, so he just doesn't mention it.

alisaie however can and will blame them and thus the next time someone mixes them up (rip estinian) she EXPLODES. because it's not about her. if it was about her i honestly dont think she would care nearly as much. but it's about her brother, and how dare you hurt her brother's hidden feelings by not being able to tell them apart.

(completely seperate headcanon but i do think that estinian is faceblind as fuck, which means he never stood a chance on this one, poor guy)

okay now for lesbian alisaie <3

what WAS it that thancred said about battle scars and maidens? and whyfor are you thinking about this alisaie? :3

also: Tesleen.

also also: Emery (A Malm in her Shoes short story)

fr tho alisaie pays attention to and talks about girls a lot. in a way she never does about boys. bringing up my complementary opposites wrt the twins thought from before, it honestly could've been another way the writers COULD have done that, having alisaie attempting to impress boys with her athletic skills the same way alphinaud tried to impress girls with his artistic ones (something he is teased about repeatedly). like the absence of this potential parallel is almost suspicious tbh...

once again, any one of these things in isolation is probably simply a choice in writing, but all these things together spell out to me one thing: alisaie likes girls. exclusively.

(im sorry you wanted lesbian alisaie thoughts more and i have less of that than the trans alphinaud ones, but if you come back in 3-5 years when i've finished my second msq run i will have compiled a far more complete list of evidence for both complete with screenshots, probably lol)

[jazzyblusnowflake]

Is there a ship you DON’t like? From what I've seen you seem to like many, even J x N from what I understood!

hmm. good question uhhh XD k here we go uh.

i dont usually like to talk about ships i DONT like because i dont wanna ruin anyone elses experience- its just unnecessary and unless somone asks me specifically i wouldnt share.

[also under cut cuz i ramble alot lmao]

can you tell im very enthusiastic about shipping and character dynamics? 🥺👉👈

now codegold and Jenvy and fullcompany or Luzi or Vhad even are all crackships, hell even Jessa is almost in the crackship area because some of the characters involved are either not fully developed or did not have any significant screentime and its up to the fan/consumer/writer to make their own assumptions and character developments.

i vibe with almost... most crackships? lol, because the fact that they are between characters who have very little canonical and/or meaningful interactions, therefore as a writer i get to think and develop my own interactions where... things yknow... "DEVELOP" XD like how some ppl take backgeound characters from mlp and give them and entire lore and backstory XD

like J and Tessa and even Thad who were very one dimensional and barely there. we cant even talk about J cuz liam straight up assasinated her entire poor fucking character. she has no rhyme or reason or purpose for doing any of the things she did thats why its not easy to like her for the sake of liking her.

meanwhile everyone likes villains like azula, idk catra, bill cypher, invader zim- not necessarily cuz they "have backstories" but because they made SENSE in their respective settings and what people KNEW of them. J.... J makes no sense 😭 Liam essentially didnt give us anything on her for us to connect any dots about her- especially not after somewhat hyping the character up to be AS important as the other cast but then she was just... literally tossed in the scrap dump of the planet. also Thad and a bit of Lizzy and Doll- ive been trying to develop them for a few weeks now for my MD re-writing plans and it has been HARDDD they make no sense in a setting where everything is just for gags and jokes.

but i digress- what i mean to say is- i like crackships cuz i get to MAKE the characters as i enjoy them >:"3 i love writing and doing character studies!

this all being said... i dont blame people for disliking a ship. for some reason shipping characters from shows fucking takes away years of your life- esp when you see one you dislike and your brain cant even bring a goddamn reason for why you hate the ship in the first place- so i genuinely advise people who dislike a ship to just avoid it- breathe XD maybe block the tags- dont interact so the algorythm doesnt try to bother you- tell your friends to not talk about it with you maybe- and overall internet hygiene- you dont need to try and convince yourself to like it unless you want to- but dont bother others about it.

and with all this being said now the ships "I" personally dislike are...

Vizzy, Noll, and Khori....

.....yep.

i wont elaborate on WHY i dislike them so much to the point that i had to unfollow some people just to maintain my sanity, but the thing is sometimes brain isnt convinced with "logic" so big whoop 🤷‍♀️ such is life. hope people who enjoy them have fun tho<3

hope this was helpful 👌

[moonshynecybin]

I think that last picture’s that one moment when he says he doesn’t feel good racing marc (because he’s dangerous I assume) and it’s always made me so sad because I don’t even blame vale ☹️ imagine being so aggressive people are terrified to race you wheel to wheel like marc is it really that serious… and okay between the two of them only vale has ever (allegedly) kicked someone off their bike lol and the punching biaggi thing and like for all that talk he has the argentina crash framed but still knowing all his injury-related trauma it gets a little :(( guy who cried when his dad crashed x guy who crashes but even worse cause he has to be the one racing marc! and on some level that was fear for marc at one point but morphed quickly into fear of marc. like for him to make it a point to mention marc is so dirty and dangerous still it must have really been something. and now his students have to race him like he can’t catch a break lmao

LMAO now personally i dont think that this face is specifically about the dangers of racing marc its more generally about their relationship but thats my opinionnnnnn... the full quote is "marquez is a great rival, and very very fast, very strong. one of the best. but with marquez i dont feel very well, difficult to battle." so idk. interpretational variability and there's certainly some bitterness about the "special treatment" he thinks he gets from marc. but i do love it, its one of my favorite reaction pics !!!! stank ass face cant even muster a bland smile through all the piss and vinegar lmao

to get to your point at the heart of this, there is. a delicate balance being a fan of marc in this regard... like on one hand there are quite a few incidents that rest on his shoulders that are unambiguously dangerous riding (argentina 2018 being big one lol) and on the other, marc's sort of reckless insane person the-other-riders-on track-are-merely-obstacles-that-i-shall-move-if-needed attitude is like. part of what attracts me to him as an athlete in the first place. shit is entertaining. shit is compelling. i am sorry. i am. i never want anyone hurt, but i enjoy him being crazy

now on that subject, everyone watching motogp has a different line where the "inherent risk" tips to being TOOOO dangerous/oh my god why is that allowed, and i think argentina is a fairly obvious case (especially considering marc didnt really neeeeeeed to do any of that) where vale has some legit ass grievances w this one considering he is the guy that got bowling-balled into the grass... (sidenote: everyone go look at dante's beautiful gifs here.) so yeah! him exploding to the press and framing a pic of the collision (ive always had a suspicion it was a secret santa present joke or smth tbh and it is undeniably a HILARIOUS one... what absolute comedic weapon of a child whipped that one out...) and telling the world he feels scared makes sense AND ties into vale's well-documented relative aversion to risk and injury in general. a philosophy that marc as an athletic CONCEPT rubs up against sort of inherently...

and of COURSE it has to be marc.... marc is the person who scratches at those issues partly because hes just the way he is, but also because hes the guy that vale used to rlly care about that vale thinks HATES HIM and maliciously ruined his season when he wasnt even a championship contender... and yeah vale kicked him or at least caused a crash in 2015 and its similar enough, but to vale it feels DIFFERENT and it fits into the narrative of marc's actions being pointed towards HIM, even though marc did the same thing to aleix earlier that day. idk to ME its less the recklessness in this specific incident, even if thats what hes saying, and more the SPITE. he thinks marc has a "special treatment" towards him and that is a big part of why he is so mad (though there is DEF also some gut reaction injury complex stuff swimming around in his noggin, maybe more than he even realizes)

argentina is also interesting to me because i mean yeah it ties into their rivalry (and marc says that its literally why they dont speak... despite their weird hot/cold 2019) BUT. neither of them really talk about it much after the fact when theyre publicly autopsying their relationship. which is just a little wild to me!!! like they are both people p invested in their personal mythologies and their breakup narratives but it seems that the INTIAL break in 2015 is much more hmm... emotionally resonant? has made more of a lasting impact? than the stuff in 2018, especially for valentino. like marc not talking about it a lot makes sense, that was HIS boo boo, but vale girl. that should be your time to shine. like if you come to me and say marc is conspiring w jorge lorenzo against me im like that is CRAZY you are CRAZY. if you come to me and say marc pushed me off track and is dangerous and thats why i hate him im like. well um i guess well you see hmmm it is complex uhhhh. so its notable to me that he actually doest bring it up too much... like idk i think the more relevant thing in vale's mind when he thinks about it is marc as an oppositional figure, rather than marc as a dangerous one

[theparadoxspace]

What sort of shows/games/books have you been into lately?

oooh ive been into a lot of stuff lately so ill just divide it into three sections

Games

I play a LOT of games so I'll just say a bit about the last few games Ive been playing.

The Dragon Quest 3 remake was a lot of fun, I like simple, traditional RPGs every now and then and I thought the remake was very well done, I can't wait for the 1 and 2 remake.

I recently finished a metroidvania called Gestalt: Steam and Cinder. It was fine, the story and gameplay were fun enough and it left me satisfied despite having a very cliffhangery ending. Ive been kind of in a metroidvania mood recently since I also played Momodora: Moonlit Farewell, which is phenomenal, but that made me want to play Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow, which I started a few days ago.

Ive been trying to finish FF7 Rebirth since it came out last year and I just havent managed to get around finishing it, despite the fact that I was very much enjoying it.

Im also permanently playing Guilty Gear Strive, and for the past two years Ive been trying to play all of them and really get into the story.

Played a lot of Balatro last year too.

Finally, I play a lot of indie games and two days ago I started one called Isle of Pan which is a photography game where you explore an island and take pictures of weird creatures. Very cool and fun.

Books/Manga

For regular books, a couple of years ago I read the The Locked Tomb series and Ive been mildly obsessed with them. I cant wait for Alecto the Ninth to come out and I might re-read them all before it does.

Ive also been reading a lot of Kurt Vonnegut books. I had read Slaughterhouse-Five a few years ago and had been meaning to check out other books of his but I only got around to it this past year. Im currently reading Cat's Cradle but my favorite so far (other than Slaughterhouse-Five) is Breakfast of Champios.

For manga, I read A LOT of manga. Recently Ive been really into Tsutomu Nihei's stuff. After I read Blame! I really wanted to check out his other stuff, so recently I read Knights of Sidonia and what little there is of Tower Dungeon (I really recommend both, specially Tower Dungeon).

Im a pretty big fan of Yoshihiro Togashi (Yu Yu Hakusho and Hunter X Hunter) and I hadnt read his other series Level E so I finally got around to reading it and its very consistently fun, despite how short it is. Very weird and very funny.

This last year I also really enjoyed Happiness by Shuzo Oshimi and Claymore by Norihiro Yagi.

My favorite manga I read last year though was Shimeji Simulation, which is a bit hard to describe but its a surreal comedy about a girl who was a hikikomori and when she comes out of her room after a few years so she can go to highschool, she realizes she grew shimeji mushrooms on her head. Its such a beautiful work and its pretty short, theres nothing like it.

I could honestly keep talking about manga permanently so Ill just move on lol.

Shows/Movies

I dont really watch shows that much but last year I really enjoyed the Dungeon Meshi and Dandadan adaptations. Just generally really well made.

I also watched most of Gurren Lagann recently and I enjoyed it (still havent finished it, I have only like 4 eps left but Im terrible at finishing watching shows). I saw a lot of people say how life changing it was, including a close friend, but it honestly wasnt that big of a deal to me. I did like it but not in a life changing way, lmao.

I didnt watch as many movies last year but I did enjoy Nosferatu, Alien: Romulus, A Different Man and, above all else, the adaptation of Look Back. Thats probably become, if not my all time favorite movie, my second (right behind Perfect Blue).

[childhoodtv-kalimthefairy]

RidoAce week Day 1

Day 1: Childhood/Family

Yes I have a fic accompanying this drawing that took 3 hours and somehow ended up shitty. Also yes I’ll be doing both for each day, I am dedicated to this. I blame @writesology for getting me hooked on this ship. Anyways, Enjoy :)

When Riddle thinks about his childhood, he wouldn’t say it was a particularly exciting one. Really, it was more like a routine, he never had time to play with other kids because he was either studying or practicing magic. He remembered how he’d look outside his window, seeing kids playing and think to himself “Why would they waste there time? They don’t have a lot of time in life, why not dedicate it to preparing for a good future?”

Thinking back on it, he realized how idiotic it was. He didn’t know that though, at least until he met Trey and Chenya that fateful day. He remembered how they urged him to come outside to play with them, how that turned out to be one of the best decisions he has ever made. That day, for the first time, Riddle felt like a kid, a type of kid he read in his stories. Of course, everything must come to an end, that for Riddle was when his mother found out and banned him from independent studies. After that, for a few years, he forgot how it was like to be a kid. 

Then he went to Night Raven College, where he reached the rope really quickly. Still, he wasn’t well liked, his temper and stricklier for the rules wasn’t something people liked. And for a while, he was fine with that.

Until he Overbloted.

In hindsight, he should’ve seen it coming. How all the repressed emotions, over use of his magic, and his general unhappiness made him finally reach his breaking point. Funny enough, the way he broke wasn’t cause of pressure, it was cause a loud-mouth first year decided that he had enough.  

Ace Trappola. At first, he really did think Ace was attractive. Tall, beautiful eyes and seemed charming enough. Of course after eating his tart, Riddle decided he didn’t like him. He was a annoying, loud- mouth bother to him and he couldn’t see why he thought he was pretty.

But…After he overblotted, apologized to everyone and threw an unbirthday party, Ace seemed to warm up to him. Riddle, upon noticing this, found he didn’t mind.

As the months passed by, he found he really couldn’t shake the thought of the first-year out of his mind again. Everything Ace did, he noticed and it drives him crazy how he keeps finding them endearing. He wishes he could just squash those feelings down every time he talks to Ace, or sees him smile, or just being him just made his heart flutter.

He thought at the time that it would’ve been impossible for him to love him. They were so different, not just that but they had such a weird relationship, friends? Maybe? Something else. He wasnt sure at this point…

But then, much to his shock, Ace confessed. 

It was when they were doing homework, Riddle helping him with a particular math question, when Ace told him.

“Dormhead, I really cant keep it to myself anymore, but i like you.”

And after that, it was history. Genuinely, the last 2 years in NRC had been one of the best years of my life, i felt like a kid again. Ace even gave me a promise ring at when I was graduating…

And now, were living together, almost 5 years later with out-

“Dad!”

Riddle looked up from his writing, grinning at the child who stood infront of him. He had Ace’s hair and personality but Riddles eyes, piercing blue. 

“Daddd, come one papa made some pasta for dinner! He made it pink! Pretty pink!” The child whined, tugging on his fathers arm. Riddle grinned at him, “Now that sounds good right now. Will you take me to him, Orion?” Riddle asked, picking him up and kissing his cheeks. Just as he said that, Ace popped his head into the room, a grin on his own face. “Come on you two, dinner is gonna get cold if you dont get out here!”

Riddle and Orion nodded, the child kept chanting “pasta” as they went to dining room. As they sat down at the table, Riddle couldnt help but reminisc a bit. I mean, he was writing a book about his life since all his mothers…unsaviory, practicies came to light. Plus, he wanted to have something to look back on. But he couldnt help but think how ironic this was.

As a child he was told to look forward, follow the rules, marry a woman and to act maturely. But here he was, sitting with his husband and child, chatting happily, not caring for the rules currently.

If he thinks about it, alot of this is thanks to Ace, Trey and the others.

He has alot to be happy about.

If he could go back in time, hed tell his youngerself to love himself a little bit more. Take risks and to not listen to his mother.

But, if he did he would miss all of this, wouldnt he?

[houndfaker]

so i finished persona 3 reload. here is like. a good enough summary of my thoughts and feelings regarding.

copypasting from my discord convos and refining because i do not feel like writing all of it out a third time

i think its a very nice treat for people who loved the original game. its an extremely high effort remake and i dont want that to be swept under the rug despite my criticisms. i do genuinely appreciate the work put into create a fresh experience on an old game. i was happy with the addition of the link episodes, those will definitely help newcomers feel a little more connected to the cast that was shafted somewhat in base p3.

i did have a hole in my heart for a majority of it given a big component to my original experience with p3 was completely missing. i think the new writing suffers from feeling out of place because it is tacked straight onto a largely unchanged script from a decade ago. atlus continues to have (1) joke. multiple characters experience a degree of flanderization that im not fond of, supposedly on account of the newer pieces of writing being specifically tailored to making the cast fit better with their eventual appearances in the arena spinoffs (which. grimaces a little because there are quite a few things in arena i dont like).

so that made things feel…very off but i struggle to confirm if thats just me having a fondness and preference for a version of the game that they didnt recreate or if thats the game itself i feel like there were a lot of missed opportunities. they give more clarity to certain lore things that the original doesnt touch on, but again the script is largely unchanged, which was the safer option for remaking the game and i cant exactly blame them for it but i had higher hopes for them incorporating lesser known aspects of the p3 canon.

and finally the vibe of the game is so incredibly...different. and this IS due in part to the difference in technology. but p3re is so so...bright. and flashy. sometimes it feels like theyre deliberately being as over the top as possible with certain visuals. previous iterations of p3 are much dimmer and feel quite a bit more dismal comparatively? reload also loses the sort of weird abstract vibe a lot of the cutscenes and the openings had which is a loss for me, someone who enjoys those as apart of the game's identity.

all this to say yes i had fun pouring 80 hours into a high definition version of this game that holds so much meaning to me. i just had higher hopes for what they might do with this opportunity, i guess. my feelings on it are soured with the knowledge that they have no intention of re-adding femc and they're planning to sell back a part of the game that was included in previous releases as paid dlc. thats just one little quinn's opinion though

[caramelstarlight]

Keaya x reader, and reader has a pyro vision, people think that they don’t get along ( cause ice and fire) but they actually a great duo and opposites attract romance trope *chef’s kiss* 👌

Sorry for not posting. been busy saving primos. Just 6 days ago I had 8k and now im at 11k :D

Also I found that one audio of ppls favorite genshin characters from elements trend. Heres the audio. lmk if anyone wants to do it with me XD

Find it here: Trend Song

My favorites are: Tighnari,Ganyu,Klee,Venti,Albedo,Kokomi and Yae Miko. (Theres only one blue :p and no teal. So I leave Anemo black or white depending on your settings of light or dark mode and make hydro become pink bc again one blue.)

Anyways onto the story because yes. <3

It is true, Opposites can Attract.

Kaeya x Reader (Pyro vision) I now have 4 requests in my inbox so Im starting to work on them. I feel bad for my wattpads since I dont give them much but I do tell them that im active on tumblr. :d

Fluff :D More under cut <3 (Also I decided to make it where Y/N is the older sibling of klee for funsies. You get a different title of the "Inferno Knight" or "Wildfire Knight." Keep that in mind bc yes. Your the one mostly helping klee when the other knights cannot. Shes one of the ones she trusts the most.

"Have you heard of the "Wildfire/Inferno Knight? They are apparently Klees bigger brother/sister/sibling. I wonder how much it takes to keep the Spark Knight under control..." A person muttered to their friend at Angels Share. "I feel slightly bad for them, having to deal with bombs a lot sure sounds dangerous."

Your back leaned against the wall as you drank your drink. (I was going to say Apple juice LMAOO-) Slightly listening to the conversation and keeping the tavern in check since Diluc was elsewhere.

Especially when your boyfriend Kaeya was there. You don't know what storm could brew when hes around. He and Lisa are surely mysterious people. You watched him for a few moments before your gaze lingered on the two talking about you.

Your gaze went back to Kaeya, he looked at you as you moved your head towards the door. Signaling you both should get going as diluc would most likely return soon, the bartender should be good without you both there.

"Your so confusing and mysterious at times kaeya." You'd tell him as you exited Angels share and headed to the Knights of Favonious building. "Maybe thats why you liked me the best~" He'd tell you as many people stared as you walked. Figuring you both hated each other due to being opposites. But hey, you cant blame them.

"I can imagine Klee already got in trouble today. I'd better go bail her out of trouble if I can." "Ohh? Telling me your plans are we? Does that mean I can ruin it?" "No im just telling you." Trying to ignore all the confused stares.

Upon entering the building you went to the Solitary Confinement room opening it to see if klee was inside. Which she was. You closed the door on kaeya as he waited outside of the room. You sat down and held klees hands. "What did you do this time klee?" You'd ask her as she unexpectedly blew another few fish in cider lake.

You sighed as you handed her a few food and drinks. Before getting up and leaving the room. "Anyways did you guys enjoy the "BottleLand?" I heard eula went as well." "Yeah she did, it was nice and one of them gave me and klee a costume."

Leaving the Knights of Favonious buildings you stayed in the plaza looking at all the stares before kaeya asked them to stop and told them about the relationship. Everyone was shocked as they all thought you guys didn't like each other and only putted up with the other for your jobs.

(I had no idea what to do and I kept getting distracted lmao- I was on this for like 2 hours because of distractions from yt, sorry if its bad).

[ferniliciousness]

Happy N7 Month!

This is my first November in the fandom and I am genuinely excited and looking forward to it. Which feels weird cause this is the first fandom I've ever really been a part of. Mass effect has definitely really helped me the last few months, and I'm so glad I've gotten to meet some pretty cool people in the process lol.

Anyway, enough of the sappy stuff, that's not what this is about lmao. I've started a few projects for the month and I am very excited to share the first one with y'all. I've been working on this for like a month now 😭 and I'm actually proud of it so I hope you enjoy ☺️

Prompt: Tension

TW: Suicidal inclinations

*why didn't I just say no? I should have just said no?* Gaia's mind is racing standing next to Garrus and looking out over the street below them. Sidonis is here, and Gaia has to watch Garrus kill him. She has to change his mind, she just has to. Otherwise, everything she believes about herself is true; she deserves to die, she doesn't deserve to live, and there is no hope for redemption. *I'm worse than Sidonis. I deserve so much worse than him. If Garrus can't spare him, can't offer him even an ounce of forgiveness, what hope do I have?* Numbness, that all familiar numbness she knows too well takes over her body. She hates it. She despises it. She wants it to just go away, go away and let her feel again, feel the pain, feel the despair, feel the guilt. To suffer. Resting on the railing, her hands shake. Her heart races as she scans the crowd below her. She finds Shepard and then she sees him, the man who has betrayed them. *No, no, no, I can't let him do this, I can't. There has to be hope, there has to be a chance for me. God, please Garrus, please, show me I can still do good in this world. Show me you would forgive me, show me you would give me a chance. Please Garrus, I'm running out of hope.*

"There he is." Garrus' voice snaps her back to reality. Her lungs gasp, the breath she was holding finally escaping. Her knuckles turn white as her nails dig into her palm, begging her body to not give up, to keep feeling, to keep hoping. Even as she turns to Garrus and sees his determination, sees the anger in his eyes, she has to hope

"You're in my shot. Move to the side a bit so I can get him." Gaia knows if Shepard moves Garrus would not hesitate to pull the trigger. She can see his hands trembling, and notices his mandibles twitching, but she can't tell if it's from anger or anxiety. She hopes it's him questioning, rethinking all of this. "Shepard" his name escapes her, begging, pleading with him to not let Garrus do this. Her eyes follow the barrel of Garrus' rifle, down to where Sidonis stands in front of Shepard and she can't help but imagine. Imagine it was her at the end of his scope, imagine him shooting her. But Shepard doesn't move and she can hear hope in her comm. "Sidonis, I'm here to help you." He was doing it, he was actually doing it. She cant believe it. "Dammit Shepard! If he moves I'm taking the shot! With or without your help." His harsh words surprise Gaia. Garrus never speaks to Shepard like this. Gaia painfully listens to Sidonis explain, how the blue suns captured him, tortured him even. How much regret he feels for what he did. She knows all to well how he feels, the pain and guilt he's going through. She's angry at him, just like Garrus, but she can't blame him. Not when she is no better then he is. "It's up to you Garrus, I'm letting you decide this one. Kill him or dont." Shepard moves to the side while Sidonis stands still, defeated. The choice hangs heavy in the air and Gaia knows she has to say something, she has to try. "Garrus don't! Please, please don't. The guilt will cause enough suffering, you don't have to do this." Stepping forward in a rush, she can't help but reach a hand out towards him. As her heart is pounding in her ears she's barely even thinking. "What!" His head snaps to look at her, his mandibles flare, showing his teeth. The suddenness makes her pause but she doesn't back away. "Gaia, you of all people should want this. You were there, you saw what happened, you saw what his actions brought US! Our friends were killed. Because of him." His anger touches her heart in a way he will never know. It pushes her back, not out of fear, but sudden shame. It forces her to step back, away from him, but she can't bring herself to look away. She meets his anger and lets it burn inside her, adding to the hatred she already feels towards herself. "Garrus, please." No one moves, no one speaks, they all just stand in the dense quiet, the air thick with tension. Finally, Garrus turns to face Sidonis again. "I... I... Fine, just... just let him go."

Gaia stands perfectly still, not looking away from Garrus for a moment. She desperately reads his face, trying to decipher any emotions from him that she can. But all she finds is the Turians frantic attempt at hiding them. His mandibles won't stop fluttering, and even through her translator she can hear his rapid clicking. And worse yet, he refuses to look at her, yet, she can't look away. "Why? Why did you do that?" His voice is trembling with confusion. But she can't say anything. He wants answers, no. He deserves answers. But the most she can do is stare up into his eyes, while her own glaze over. She retreats into herself, hiding in the security of chaos that is her emotions, so that he can't see. "Gaia no!" His hand on her shoulder snaps her out of her escape. "No running away, not this time. You're going to answer me dammit." Hot air hits her face as he sighs. "Don't... Don't you think he deserves it? Don't you think that... That everyone... Everyone that died that day deserves justice? He killed them." Garrus chuckles, his eyes now just as lost as Gaia's a moment ago. "He betrayed all of them. His death would have paid for that. Doesn't.... Doesn't someone have to pay? Doesn't someone have to make it all right?" His hand let's go of her. *No, no, no, don't let go! Don't slip away from me! I can't! Garrus I can't!* She watches as his hand returns to his side, and all hope of moving forward goes with it.

"Then shoot me Garrus. Kill me. Let me pay." Gaia shoves her pistol into his chest, catching him by surprise while her eyes lock onto his. Wide eyes meet hers, full of confusion and worry. He tries to take a step back, but Gaia hooks her hand into his armor, holding him in place. "I have been the cause of so many deaths, deaths of innocent people. I have so much blood on my hands, blood spilt because of my actions." Her eyes never leave his, reflecting an honest guilt and a long-felt resolve. "I have cheated, stolen, lied." Gaia takes another step closer to him, pointing the barrel of the pistol to her chest. "I have betrayed people who trusted me, people who cared about me." The words came out calmly, years worth of turmoil and pain simmered down into Gaia's heartfelt belief in herself. Pointing down to where Sidonis had stood only moments before, "If he is deserving of this, then I am deserving of so much more. If someone has to pay for it, let me." Tears threaten to spill from her eyes, but her voice never falters. Garrus tries to carefully pry the gun away from her, but her own fingers threaten to set it off. They both can hardly breathe, but even in the brief moment of silence, Gaia's hands just hold tighter to the pistol. "You say you believe in justice, in righting wrongs against innocent people. So show me Garrus. Show me. Pull that trigger and bring justice to me. Let me make it right."

Garrus tightens his grip around her hands, pushing on her palm, trying to get her to let go. Gaia could feel gentle thrums through his chest, his way to try and calm her down. Her fingers slip away from the trigger, his large hands gently guiding them away as he takes hold of the gun. Her body feels numb, and the world around her is quiet, she barely even notices him doing it. "Gaia. I.... I'm not going to shoot you." His mandibles click, quickly chattering against his cheeks. "I can't.... I don't know what you think you did, or why you think you deserve this, but this isn't your crime to pay for." The silence between them can almost be touched, as they stand in front of one another. Gaia's arms slowly fall to her side, letting go of his armor. "You ok?" Garrus' words finally breach the quiet. He wants to know, to understand. Gaia doesn't even know herself, but she doesn't want him to worry. "Yeah" a weak smile is all she has to offer him, and he sees right through it. "Gaia" The question behind his words is evident but Gaia has no desire to answer him, even if she knows she will eventually. "No. I'm not talking about it. Not right now." Gaia looks over the railing at the crowd walking below them, oblivious to everything that had just occurred. The tension between making the air feel thick. Gaia hears Garrus' hard sigh, he must still be upset, just as her emotions were still on a high. "Alright." Leaving it at that, Garrus walks behind her, pulling her rifle off of her back, before continuing down the walkway. Surprise pulls Gaia out of the awkwardness. "Hey, I said I was ok didn't I?" She jogs to catch up with him, his long strides covering much more distance than her. "I never said you weren't." He was upset, angry even, that was clear, but Gaia knows, he still cares. The realization hits her, standing in the street watching him walk back. She doesnt understand why or how he does, and she thinks that she never will, but she is grateful for it.

[trashbins-stuff]

bin can handle it!! (except for the one time it cant) (ttc fan fanfic)

heads up: this work have angst, attempted murder, attempted suicide, actual suicide, and blood please dont read if it triggers you <3 also this is a 5+1 things (>v0) also i know bin should have die immediately but can u rlly blame a guy for wanting to romanticize his death? THIS IS HOW I COPE WITH MY DEATH U CANT TELL SOMEONE HOW TO GRIEF ESPICALLY WHEN THEY'RE GRIEFING THEMSELVES WAAAAAAA

"i can handle it!!"

"its doable!!"

"fuck it we balllll"

--

1.

Bin wipes the tear off his face, his dad had already stop banging on the door forever ago, probably off watching sport or something, Bin couldn't stop crying, whenever he thought he had calm down, another wave of sadness wash over him and he's wet again.

His mom sit across the mattress, Bin didn't want to talk to her, she'll say its his fault.

And maybe it was.

His dad isn't entirely at fault here. He's trying his best, Bin did too, but he guess it wasn't enough, his dad wouldn't chase him up here if it did, threatening to kill him and all that.

Even when his mom bought a bunch of books on parenting, he's the only one who even reads them, he didn't even plan on having kids, he was just bored.

But that's okay, so what if his dad tried to kill him and his mom was rarely ever there? that's okay!! Bin can handle a bit of loneliness, he have friends!! And his cousin sometime too!! Bin can manage this.

He stand up and unlock the door, repeating "I'm sorry, ba" like a mantra in his head.

2.

The four of them have been sticking together like glue in the entirety of elementary school.

Bin, Puffball Keychain, Baggy and Fluffy Carpet, that is.

They made craft together, they played the same game, Bin and Carpet raves over Melanie Martinez, hanging out in the school cafeteria afterschool, making up their own version of stories and songs they find in textbooks, the usual.

Bin thought it'll stay that way when they go to middle school.

It didn't.

For Carpet, they went to a different school, didn't have a choice.

For Puffball Keychain, too much had happen, didn't want to remember.

For Baggy, it's complicated, didn't know who we are.

That night, Bin cried and wept.

"Your personality is annoying, if you won't change, no one would want to be friend with you"

"I agree with her, sorry"

All those god damn EIGHT YEARS meant NOTHING to them, Pk have been there since 1st grade, sure, she abandon fem once in 2nd grade to hang out with Carpet and Baggy but that's seven years ago.

And Baggy were the nicest one, the kind one, and even she get tired of Bin, fey miss going to her house, they would play together with her cousin.

Now they barely look at each other.

And Bin was lonely.

But that's alright, Bin can still make new friends!! It's not the end of the world!! Fey can always start a new!! Bin can get through this.

And Bin met a new friend, Bin play more of the therapist role then best friends usually but that was fine, if it keep this friendship afloat, fey will do anything.

3.

Bin cried in class, she couldn't handle the bullying, the teasing, the isolation, she was EIGHT for frog's sake!! Would it kill them to be nice to her? She couldn't stop crying, through her wet glances, she can see her bullies staring back at her, and then one them spoke.

"Crocodile tears"

Bin feel something broke, she isn't sure what but she realized.

It's a dog-eat-dog world out there and if she want to survive, she's gonna need some mask and a tough persona. Bin can get use to this.

After years of kids leaving and joining the class, Bin found herself enjoy talking to a few kids, they still treat her differently but as long as they tolerate her, it was enough.

4.

Bin feel ugly, a bit on physical but mostly mentally, it didn't like when people commented on it's efforts.

"Your hair look like a bird nest, when was the last time you brush it?" they'll touch its hair without its consent and try to brush it, its hurts like its scalp is going to be ripped out in any minutes.

"Your a female, why are your hand writing worse than all the boys?" it was trying its best, it put so much time writing and making it look legible, and this is the thanks it get? Tch, figures.

"..bla bla bla..."

It didn't want to change, it didn't like how they look at it, there's always something that separate it form other people, that wall have been there since forever. No one needed it, no one wanted it.

It didn't want itself either.

It never asked to be here, it never looked forward to it's existent. But Bin fix this.

Over years it thinks, Bin start to love parts of itself that it had previously hate, Bin start to feel a bit better. But what is it even-?

5.

Bin couldn't tell, if the kid died from bashing their head or the stab wound. Either way they're laying on the kitchen floor, looking at the lights above, not from heaven-they just have a long lightbulb in their kitchen.

They roll their head back to look at their other self, Bin immediately look away, after staring for a second or two, their gaze went back to the lights.

Bin walk to the chair and turn on the tv.

Leaving the kid to bleed out and die.

Leaving Bin to bleed out and die.

A year later, a soaking wet Bin was walking to it's bedroom, it was it's cousin birthday today, but its not time to eat yet. It walk in and its eye turn left.

Bin found the same kid with the fan's string tied around their neck.

They couldn't even get a proper rope.

Bin couldn't even get a proper rope.

"We gotta stop meeting like this"

"..."

The kid stood up and walk away, leaving Bin alone in it's bedroom

--

1.

With a thud, Bin fall down on the cold hard floor in Galaxy Journal's lab.

He wasn't the best person, he had done a lot of wrongs, he had done a lot of rights too, maybe he'll end up in purgatory, or are we all clotted in the same afterlife? like Journal said, or will he be reincarnated? or maybe there's nothing after death at all.

He doesn't know, and that scare him a little.

A part of her still hopes, a part of her still hope that maybe, just maybe, Journal would burst through that door any second now and fix her up. Or if it's too late, she still hopes that someone-anyone! would kick down that dammed door and hold her, hold her tight.

Her death would have looked cuter in someone's arm.

She want to be held, one last time.

The door didn't even budge.

So (So)

Instead (Instead)

It's (It's)

Gonna (Gonna)

Die (Die)

As (As)

Lonely (Lonely)

As (As)

It (It)

Felt (Felt)

Last (Right)

Night (Now)

But at least Journal's lab have a very nice ceiling.

And the maggots will surely enjoy my rotten flesh.

Classic Bin, always so silly, but i fear your positivity will not save you this time.

Bin took it's last breath in the dark lab, alone.

Becoming as cold as the blood-covered floor below it.

The cassette tape sits on the table, it contain words contradicting what Bin have said the night before.

And the lab fell silent once more.

Bin might have ended it all right then and there.

But the Earth will keep on spinning.

And tomorrow will be a brand new day.

"Remember Me".

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Haiiii this is the end, i hope u enjoy it!! htis is my first fic so plz go easy on me,,,<3 thanks for reading :3

Also all the things that happen to bin may or may not actually happen irl hehe-

words count: 1,244

[roseychains]

I love how you try and act all mature and intelligent in your writing. Real convincing.

"let’s break up your argument into a few parts, and let me debunk each one

First you say this can get adults in trouble? Simple solution, don’t interact if it’s really going to cause problems."

My dude. You are in a public space. It is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to follow the rules. Why would you go into a public space and post something your not supposed to and then try to act like if they dont like it they shouldnt even be here. Once again public space. A community you are not welcome/old enough to be in. And you are telling other people that if they dont like it they just shouldnt interact or be here at all? You dont make the fucking rules child. You arent even supposed to be here.

"Next, you say that smut is a adult only space. And that’s only true to some extent. Of course, child pornograhpy is illegal of course, but this isn’t explicit depiction of children or sexualizing them, it’s writing about fictional characters. But as for the legal aspect of it, the problem occurs specifically when adults go out of their way to interact with minors. I, atop all my posts the first content warning in bold is that I am a minor. It’s impossible to miss, I’m not going to get anyone in trouble. It’s not like I’m specifically sharing it with adults either. I put things under smut tags but again, are warned I’m a minor and further, a LOTTT of minors my age (15-17) read smut, and comply with whatever rules the author puts. If they say MDNI, then we don’t interact, it’s not difficult to comply with an respect boundary’s. Another legal aspect is roleplaying, which, ew, no."

Ok first of all. Its true to the FULL FUCKING EXTENT. ITS LITERALLY IN THE WORDS. Its smut its fucking sex its nsfw its fucking porn. ITS ONLY FOR ADULTS NO MATTER WHAT WORD YOU PUT IT IN ITS THE SAME DAMNED THING.

Second of all if you understand you can get adults in trouble just by them interacting with you why fucking post at all. Can you prove every other minor on here interacting with you is a minor? Can you prove no adults interact with you? Its not even just about your safety but ours aswell. And you know that. You know that theres the potential that if an adult is found enjoying your content their lives could be ruined. Despite everyone telling you to just wait until you are older, the dangers of grooming, the fact that no one even wants you in this adult oriented space, you just dont care. You think you want something and decide you deserve it because of that. Everyone else be damned.

You do specifically share it with adults. Its a fucking adult space. The majority and the target audience of which is fucking adults. You post it publicly. Also your "smut tags" show up in character tags too idiot.

"zhongli smut" shows up in just "zhongli" because it has his damned name in it.

Again i and every creator out there are well aware of you children reading and consuming our shit. We lurked too. And thats all you should be doing until you are an adult. Also "it’s not difficult to comply with an respect boundary’s." Is fucking rich coming from a kid who cant stay out of an adult space and not post adult content when told not to.

"Moreover, there can be potential problems for adults who have anything to do with explicit fan fiction, but again, that’s why it’s a warning. If they want to read it, by all means they are free to do so, at their own discretion."

Wow what a way to pin the blame on adults. Sure. The adults in the adult space talking about adult topics are at fault.

About the image you share i find it really interesting you only did a quick google search but didnt even bother to look further into it. That "answer" you found is under a better answer asking about someone finding a kid just like you.

"Explicit fiction is legal no matter who writes it or shares it.

But adults who have ANYTHING sexually to do with minors are risking all kids of state and federal crimes. State and federal sex crime prosecutors who go after pedophiles don't believe any adults who claim they "accidentally" found or shared something relating to a minor and sex.

You sound like a pedophile, because that's what most pedophiles claim --it was a "mistake," an "accident," they were "just clicking on it to see if it was what it claimed to be," they were "just going to report it," "it was [their] 1st time, they were only looking for a minute," etc. etc.

If you're not a pedophile, see if you manage to avoid people who come right out and say they're minors."

You ignore the fact that they even said adults having ANYTHING to do with minors relating to this stuff can get in trouble. That means even just LIKING your posts.

"The other answer simply says this (not included: laywer advertisement)A minor cannot write or read explicit stories on the Internet. Yes, you can be charged if you allow minor's on your site."

"Thirdly, you say I’m pushing myself into adult spaces, simply not true. I have never once interacted with an MDNI blog, in any way shape or form. It’s disrespectful. All I do is create my own works. Under tags that, you guess it, aren’t restricted based on age."

Oh but its not disrespectful for you to even be in a space you arent supposed to be in in the FUCKING FIRST PLACE? Do you think the internet begins and ends on your blog? Keep your works PRIVATE. Also no porn/nsfw tag is restricted based on age on tumblr. There was a porn ban and any tags that are "restricted" are banned for everyone. Even adults. What fucking popular website has age restrictions for tags. And what child actually tells the truth about their age. Even if the tags arent restricted you are well aware they are about adult content. Do you seriously think that just because its not flashing in bright colors to get your attention that its about adult content that its somehow free for you as a minor to use? Gain some damn common sense would you?

"And finally, you say I’m participating in adult activity’s. I’m typing explicit words with a keyboard. Not showing anyone, not showing myself, it’s only found under tags ppl would want to see it."

Again character names show up in character tags. Tumblr does not sort entirely based on sentences. Thats why i can see people talking about nothing to do with a character in the characters tag because in the tags the talk shit about said character they didnt mention in the post itself.

By posting it with tags you do, in fact, show it to people. By posting it publicly at all you are showing people.

Also no one wants to see a minor writing smut in any tag. We dont fucking want you here so why cant you respect that?

"typing explicit words" my dude you are writing porn. You are making porn. A child cannot legally make or consume porn.

In conclusion, it’s writing for crying out loud. It’s reading. It’s letters on a screen. If you have a problem with it, your more than welcome to block me. And in the meantime, I’m gonna keep writing, it’s fun, and able to be done safely. Hope this helped.

Oh nooo its just letters on a screen

Ok. Theres a youtuber who wrote a fanfic of their younger sibling getting raped. Written during the time their sibling was a minor. This youtuber used to bragg about it all the time until they realized they could get in trouble for writing csem. Then they wanted nithing to do with it and denies it to this day.

Is that just words on a screen? "Oh but i dont write explicitly of minors" it doesnt matter. Its just words right? You writing porn is just words huh?

Also, a word of advice minors read smut, a lot. Writers are unaware of it due to the fact that you can read something without interacting, which is respectful imo. You went, and left no trace. Minors, specifically my age (15-17) are gonna have desires and hormones. It’s pretty damn normal. So having a safe space, a little outfit to exercise things safely isn’t that better than going out and having sex?? Minors writing smut is harmless and hurts no one.

Word of advice, we fucking know. So glad you think you are special and quirky. Dont fucking speak to me about what is "respectful" ever again. You only think something is "respectful" when it benefits yourself.

You do not need to share your porn. Im an demisexual woman who is still a virgin as an adult. Ive read porn since i was 11. Ive never once had the thought "omg if i dont shove myself into this adult space and talk about sex im gonna go have sex with real people to compensate for it"

You sound so fucking dumb.

You dont get to say its respectful to leave no trace but then go ahead and write porn publicly and show the while damned world. What a fucking entitled hypocrite you are.

And sure it would be harmless if you fucking kept it to yourself and lurked like a normal person.

Also just because it technically isnt hurting anyone does not mean people are liable to legal repercussions. Peoples lives can be ruined because of shits like you. It doesnt matter how likely or unlikely you think it is. That doesnt matter. The fact is there is that chance.

"they shouldn't have interacted with me"

YOU ARENT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. GET THAT THROUGH YOUR DUMB FUCKING SKULL. YOU WANNA ACT LIKE AN ADULT? LEAST YOU COULD FUCKING DO IS TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS. MAYBE NOT ACT YOU ARE GODS GIFT TO GREEN EARTH AND THE WORLD SHOULD JUST CONFORM TO YOUR OWN WHIMS AND DESIRES BECAUSE YOU THINK ITS "FUN".

the world doesnt revolve around you. We shouldn't have to make room for you, and cater to you and make sure you are comfortable when you aren't supposed to be here.

"If anyone has a problem with these claims, feel free to send another ask. Just be respectful, just like we are to you."

You do not get to tell us to "be respectful like we are to you" when you can't respect the fact that we dont want children in an adult space. You dont get that option.

Block me then, not that hard omfg 👎 I’m done tagging my responses tho. Firstly, like you say it is a PUBLIC space. Meaning, anyone can access it and if you claim it to be an “adult space” you have no grounds to stand on. Even if everyone agrees, it’s still a public community/space. Anyone can access it. Who the fuck are you to gatekeep a public tag?

Writing is for everyone, sue me.

Next, I’m not getting any innocent adult lives ruined because I tag everything appropriately, it they are an innocent adult and genuinely scared. Then they can read the minor warning and move on.

And finally, no one is forcing you to cater to me what? If it bothers you, block me. Not hard

[cogbreath]

vent below idk what image to give to make it worth your while have geeked up spongebob sparkle

7 in the goddamn morning that family is YELLING YELLING. and by that i mean my. but i dont want to really be a part of it. not like they treat me like one anyway. really. except my mom. but when shit like this goes down im basically invisible. maybe its for the better that way. but i dunno. having to see that shit go down. really effects me still. i can enjoy watching nasty fights on reality tv and shit but this stuff isnt enjoyable. cuz like. well i live with these people and shit. whatever. point is. starts making some alters really freak out. i dont even really disagree with the ones who start feeling violent about it. if killing an abuser didnt land u in prison 4 life basically i dont think we'd even be dealing with this shit. probably cruel to say. but really whats cruel is someone who does this shit to people for 20 odd years. can i blame them at all for thinking that when we r like a caged animal who cant fidn a way out i really cant

itsnfine dont worey i wont let things come to that point. but ifnsomehow they do i guess my point that well you all know i tried ans you all know that the fucker had it coming and i will try to figure out how to fit a phone up my hole in prison ans i'll keep blogging as long as none of yall snitch

^ none of yall better act like thats something serious im being a bit funny but honestly i do think this site is pro killing your abuser more than other sites at least on the hypothetical level which helps becuse a lot of you won't disagree with us feeling that way

id love to do it but i wont because i've talked about it and alluded to it more than enough to warrant premeditation charge, and i wouldn't be able to feign innocence to hide it for the rest of my life and id always be paranoid about it so its not worth the mental weight either

i used to worry a lot that he would snap and kill me and mama

i guess it could still happen but i dont feel as scared about it as i used to.

maybe because i feel that im old enough to maybe stop it or at least be really hard to accomplish

this will all mean nothing when i forget about it mostly in a few hours

actually i'll be going to sleep in a few hours

since my schedule is literally the opposite of this family because i need time to myself

hopefully my dreams will be kind to me

i was really upset yesterday because i had a vivid dream where i was being affectionate and romantic with a guy who committed rape on me

woke up super disgusted and went back to sleep until 6 pm about it to get a better dream

does anyone on here care if i call it that if it wasnt violently penetrstive?

to me its a gross criteria plus what are you supposed to call someone who did less that that

whatever

point is i hsted the dream

all my dreams are vivid

many of them are lucid which is lovely

when they arent lucid though sometimes its awful but still its very vivid and all felt as real as life

this isnt really relevant anymore

right now i kind of feel nothing but my tummy hurts a lot

love you guys