#there's 'your blorbo gets a bad movie' and then there's 'bad movie and also he's played by a literal serial rapist'

[flatstarcarcosa]

lays down on floor bc i wanna develop the lore for my ship with mike but his tags are a minefield and any recent content for him is hot garbage.

[danmei-confessions]

Hey hey! New here in SVSSS and still looking for new JiuYuan food came to tumblr for JiuYuan but I hope you allow me to defend my ship's other half blorbo. Twisting the story to hate on Shen Yuan or diminish all he has done and what he has become to the other characters is not the way to go. Maybe because I am a JiuYuan Shipper so I will defend both but for now this is mostly about SY.

There are what ifs that we can think that SJ could have done to get a happy ending for him and the world he is in but we don't need what ifs for the good ending that SY already gave SVSSS despite nobody knowing his real name and his own sufferings because the system won't allow him to talk.

SVSSS is a horror story FOR SY's situation at first because he knows what is supposed to happen in PIDW. He died, is brought to another world to be FORCED to do the crimes of someone else and pay for it. The system plays it off as a game and has no care for what SY feels. "Fail to do it and die, succeed to do it and you get years of torture. YAY! Immersion!" Imagine getting transmigrated to the Saw movie before the torture happens and you know if you do this bad thing, it will lead to the torture ending for your character. You would be stupid to do it, not to mention you are not a bad guy so just thinking of doing that bad thing makes you sick. But system is there watching your every move. You decide you would rather die instead because wtf your choices are only die or be tortured. But system gives you hope that with enough points, you don't need to do the bad thing anymore. But then after years the system tells you, actually this one bad thing is canon event so you still need to do it which will lead to the torture ending.

Unless you're a scum, the thought of hurting a puppy and let wolves bully it until it bleeds will torment your mind. Now imagine you are FORCED to do it because it's part of the story. Even though SY thinks that the characters are just fictional, he still cannot do it and would sneakily find ways around the system's rules to save LBH. The moment he is free of the restrictions, he is his own. That's not SJ anymore That's all SY. ALL the peak lords notice that he is not acting as SJ. He has the face of SJ but he is is far from acting like SJ. He is acting as what he thinks a respectable immortal master should be. But as time flows by and as he grows closer to the others, he is acting as SY. Read the extras, he actually loves to gossip with other peak lords. He is playful with LQG. He starts to shed his immortal, aloof façade when he got together with LBH. They're literally playing and flirting inside the bamboo house and outside when no one is looking. Sure SY is a PIDW critic online but how you are online is vastly different from how you are in real life. He is like a person who is first closed off and likes to act cool but starts to unravel the closer you are to them (and actually matches your freak). I would say even the fan gestures are part of his old life. The moment he opened his eyes, he reached for a fan. That is SY.

SY is an unreliable narrator of the people around him because that's what Airplane has written in the book. That's what SY thinks because that's what Airplane wants his readers to know. SY does not know about SJ and YQY's past and even LBH's parents because airplane did not add it on the PIDW. Once he found out what happened to SJ, he understood SJ but he also knows that whatever happened in the past does not allow you to abuse children that you have chosen as your disciple and is supposed to be under your guidance. (My JiuYuan headcannon screams only SY understands him. This is only headcannon do not attack my ship please I promise I will focus on SY here)

SY is also an unreliable narrator about himself because his psychological defense mechanism is compartmentalization. He is literally downplaying all that is happening to him so that he will not break down. He even downplays all the good things he has done. MXTX is so great at this that readers missed the parts where SY actually is suffering because he makes jokes of it. SY doesn't allow himself to dwell on the memories of his loving family and the world he was taken from. SY is showing signs of depression when he pushed LBH into the abyss but in SY's mind he is saying he is not depressed. SY cried when LBH snapped at him in the Holy Mausoleum but his mind played it off as being tears of pain because of his leg. SY said that LBH began to like him because of a single smile but LBH actually only forgave him when he risked his life to save LBH and asked nothing in return. LBH and SY first time in Mai Gu Ridge is so painful and he is going through it alone because LBH is in Xinmo's control and out of his mind but SY still plans to make a joke about it to binghe until SY coughed up blood and did his best to comfort Binghe when the other regrets his actions.

SY keeps saying that he's just doing things to save his life but his actions shows more than that. He became genuine friends with the Peak Lords. He went to CQM when he heard that LBH was attacking. Also he initially saved LQG's life so he can use him to fight LBH and SY can escape in the future, but he compromised his disguise and steps in when LBH and LQG was actually fighting in CQM to stop them. Instead of using the characters as his shield to escape LBH, he uses himself as a shield so others can be saved from LBH even though his greatest fear is being tortured by LBH.

The take that LBH is infatuated/in love with SJ and SQQ body only and will not love SY as he is if there is a reveal is the most weird take I find and undervalues MXTX writing. LBH is not infatuated with SJ and his body. LBH as a child sees him as a teacher but is not in love with him unlike with SY. Like most case of child abuse, LBH is a kid who thinks he has nowhere else to go to and so stays with his family despite being abused. We like to joke that LBH is a shizun fucker but he only became a shizun fucker because he experienced SY's love. Throughout the story, it shows LBH is not in love with just the body. He might think SJ is pretty but he is not in love. This is the same as bingge liking all pretty women but then discarding them to the harem afterwards to be forgotten.

LBH is in love with SY. The love and care he felt is from SY. His kind shizun is SY. The body is just a way for LBH to connect with SY. Afterwards, even without a body, it is SY that he loves. Again, all the peak lords noticed he is not acting as SJ. The desciples has also changed so it can be said that they noticed this change too. This is SY!SQQ that they came to love. The plant body is also proof that SY is loved. LBH preserved SQQ body for years hoping that his shizun will come back. When he pieced together that the plant body (that looks like SY real face and his real voice) is his shizun, he made sure to capture SY first before going after SQQ body at CQM. He even said he went to CQM to “stall you out,” indirectly talking to SY. This also shows how scary binghe is because he knows that SY has arrived and is hiding. Once he got SY, that's the time he went for SQQ body and his reason was that if SY ever tried to escape to the other body (LBH is so smart because this actually happens) then LBH will be lost again. LBH talks about the bodies as if they are only containers for SY's soul.

Luo Binghe spoke first. “Are the meridians of that body working well?”

“That’s good. I preserved the other body for a few days, but it still withered in the end. That doesn’t bode well if anything goes wrong with this one.”

Basically he wants both bodies to ensure that SY is trapped with him no matter what body he tries to use because he doesn't believe SY will not leave him again (He mockingly tells him "Ive believed shizun plenty of times" when SY tells him he wont run away). Again, the body is just a way for LBH to connect with his shizun that he loves and that shizun is SY. When ZZL summons SY soul to SQQ body, LBH also tried his best to save the plant body until it withered.

There is also the factor that LBH and SY are soulmates and this extends to LBG. LBG is not in love with SJ. He is filled with hate and enacted vengeance for being abused since he was a child and then thrown to hell. LBG was even smiling sinisterly when SJ was so broken that YQY died. There is no infatuation or love there. LBG doesn't think anything of SQQ at first until he dived in and saw SY!SQQ memories starting from the skinner demon until the Mai Gu Ridge in one night and all that SY did for his Binghe. It might just be one night, but the events are what happened for years that SY had a headache when he woke up. Afterwards is the only time when LBG thought of SQQ as pretty. Basically LBG is not in love with SJ but rather fell for this other SQQ because of SY and how SY!SQQ loved his Binghe. The type of love that not even his wives can give him. I can explain this but I only want to focus on SY now. If there is a SY reveal, it will be the same, the question will be the same "why did this person get a kind shizun while I got the rotten one", the only difference is there will be no disgust in LBG's side and LBG will probably make an effort and try his best to take SY back to his world since he has no animosity towards SY and because he knows there is no SY in his world.

Also, I'm pretty sure LBH already knows or he has an idea just no way to prove it. He's already giving hints about things that SQQ should not even know. Also look at this line:

"Every time Luo Binghe caught Shen Qingqiu before, he had stared at him like he was trying to stare through him"

Bingge will follow soon after because the sun and dew mushroom body was used by one of his enemies so he knows how that works and that the mushroom body will look like the face of whoever's soul is using it. Looking into SY!SQQ memories and seeing that his face changed when he transferred to the mushroom body is a big clue for LBG to digest and with how smart he is, he WILL know the truth.

Bingmei will love SY if there is a reveal. He will love him even more if that is even possible. LBH: "Shizun actually never hated this disciple and never wanted to push him in the abyss?" LBH: "Shizun loved this disciple before coming to this world?" He will gloat that he won before the battle even begun. Then chug vinegar when he finds out it is bingge who is loved first. There is no reveal because LBH will be more insufferable and so MXTX saved SY from such fate. LQG will not go "You mean it is not SJ who saved me? You are a Traitor!" LQG despite not liking SQQ mellowed out when SY!SQQ saved him. It will make no difference if he finds out it was SY who saved him, has been with him and has saved CQM. The only sad part will be YQY but that is about SJ's side and again for this I will focus on SY.

I have to say SQQ role or body is not important. He can be Ming Fan, NYY, a random disciple, another peak lord, and do all the things he has done and perhaps more effectively without the system hindering him to act as a villain and it will be the same as SVSSS. Save LQG in the caves-> LQG is now his friend. Continue to be a fanatic of LBH and believing in his skills and also trying to save him from abuse-> LBH finds a friend who truly cares and after some time falls in love. There will be somethings that will be different like NYY. Because NYY under SJ is an airhead that gets herself into trouble that bingge needs to save time and time again, compared to NYY that blossomed under SY!SQQ guidance with a strong mind, attitude and love and respect for SQQ that shocked even bingge.

I've read that the disciples are a downgrade under SY because SQH called the disciples students with ADHD. SY is actually a good Shizun. NYY is proof of this. Ming fan is proof of this. SQH the author literally states that the disciples under SJ back then were posers with face full of bitterness and great resentment compared to the disciples that literally flock towards SY!SQQ in excitement whenever he returns to the peak. SQH called them ADHD students because they are lively! The disciples sit around grouped together talking to each other as friends and no one is left out. And there is nothing wrong about ADHD students either, they are wonderful if you just give enough time and patience to understand how their minds work and what best way you can get their attention to learn. The fact that the disciples are happier and better versions than that of PIDW is already proof that SY did make a huge effort and is a good shizun to his students.

In the end, SY played with the cards he is given and although the cards are not good, he still did his best. System tells him "do this or die, but if you also do this thing that I said you get to become a human stick and suffer for years! Ehe (^-^)" and SY instead tells the system to Fk off and saves himself, LBH, and in extent, the women from joining in LBH's harem, and the world from turning into PIDW which is seriously a bad end for everyone even the protagonist. SY saw people as fictional characters at the start because the system is treating the world (and him) as a game. He gets points for doing this, gets deducted points for doing that. But in the end he learns and accepts that everyone is real and that even though the book already closed in PIDW, the story continues for everyone in their world. From a horror story that is PIDW, it is now a hopeful story that is SVSSS.

So yeah. Imagine knowing that Shrek must go to the castle to save Fiona to marry her in the future but Shrek falls for your transmigrated number one shrek fanboy soul in Lord Farquaad's body instead. All this time you are acting kind and caring for Shrek because Shrek is love Shrek is life and also to save your ass. You are blindsided. While acting as his a wingman for your OTP Shriona, Shrek was actually making a move on you. "No way Shrek is gay and into midgets? And loves to play as house wife?! TF?!" But in the end you accept that your feelings has also changed and that the quote Shrek is love Shrek is life is literal not metaphorical. Fans speculating that Lord Farquaad is the first human to actually show Shrek respect by making him one of his knights (because he wants him to go to a dragon guarding castle where countless knights died) so Shrek has always been infatuated with Lord Farquaad and the moment you reveal that you are not a midget, Shrek will have a meltdown and won't care about you anymore. You save the mama bear because you know she dead in the movie but now she acts as your savior from the big bad ogre who they think has grown obsessive of you and the bear's whole family is also indebted to you. The baby bear ships Shrequaad so hard he wrote a fanfic that became popular throughout the lands. Fiona learns she needs no man, defeats and rides the dragon and is now dubbed as "Mother of Dragons" while you scream in your head "Director WTF?! Plagiarism?! Games of thrones?!" You found out Puss n boots is actually the author transmigrated, he is scared of Death because death will kill him someday but because of some changed events Death follows him because he loves him. It's far from the original plot but everyone is happy.

.

[autisticlancemcclain]

my friend @beloveddawn-blog helpfully sent me a list of questions to help me get my creative juices flowing in this massive bout of writing struggles i got going on. ily mwah.

1. Do you prefer in-denial Lance or pining Lance? How about Keith?

basic cop-out answer but it changes from fic to fic. in a more comedic fic, i like to go for lance who is both pining AND in-denial, aka he knows he’s in love and is mad at it, or i like to make keith like so painfully oblivious to lances blatant PLEASE DATE MEs that it’s funny. generally tho i go for gooey whipped mutual pining.

2. Do you prefer Keith to be baffled by Lance's flirting or just baffled Lance is flirting with him?

baffled that lance is flirting with him. the I Do Not Deserve To Be Loved -complex is my favourite complex to give keith bc i have problems and he’s just so easy to blorbo

3. What's your favourite episode and why?

i’m gonna be so real with you voltron was so bad that once i finished s6 at like 15 yrs old i vowed never to watch it again 💀💀 six years later this vow holds true. however i remember liking the first episode, the mermaid episode, the space mall episode, and the episode where keith chases lotor in the black lion and lance is like dude you fucked up. dumbass. but he’s very obviously fond and he’s THERE and they’re gonna fix it together and that is the first time keith realises that lance fully and completely has his back. that is the moment he fell in love to me

4. What's your favourite character beat and why?

i don’t know what a character beat is BUT i am a lance stan as you may have guessed. interestingly, i used to watch voltron with my siblings and as with all character things we did together, we each picked a favourite and then only that one character was allowed to be your favourite. lance was picked before i could pick him but i got keith (and thus have the most merch of him). and honestly….keith is kind of my favourite i never stop thinking about him and also i write in his pov the most (granted, about lance lol).

5. What's your favourite line you've ever written.

oh that’s a hard one! not to toot my own horn or anything but i’ve had some stellar lines, at least i think. i have a lot of lines that are profound or whatever but to this day i’m proudest of the “i’m anaemic” “oh i didn’t know you had an eating disorder” line like i made myself laugh out loud 💀

6. What's your favourite fic you've ever written

eighty percent of my fics are my faves bc i write to indulge myself lol. BUT i’m rly super proud of my look so good longfic, i love the applebees universe, and the beauty and the beast au is dear to me. i’m also obsessed with this fic that only exists in my head bc i have typed nothing yet. it’s a theatre school taming of the shrew au.

7. What is your favourite type of AU? Do you prefer complete AUs (like BatB) or detail AUs (that angsty thing you wrote where Lance leaves after the game show)?

i love modern aus really. i’m a fan of the mundane. as a close second i like redoing movies/songs/books that aren’t usually au’ed. and i like complete aus WAY better, i just have trouble actually completing them 😭😭

[poetry-protest-pornography]

I'm mostly just gonna copy paste my real time conversation with @hotasfahrenheit here, with a free added bits of thoughts:

My Stand In episode 2 thoughts

I wish they translated the title song, because it's tonally confusing

I love when the makeup team adds hickeys

I definitely watched some of this second episode, but I do but remember how far I got, so I'm just rewatching all the crazy

I really need this orgasm-sneeze to be the thing that tips Ming off

I need it

Joe, baby, you've known this man for five seconds, please do not tell him where your spare key is

Ming stop being so fucking awkward challenge

Ugh, Tong is such a dick

Why does anyone hire him? He's always late, he complains about having to do his job and threatens to need weeks off if he has to do one (1) thing....

Ming: "I'm feeling jealous, so I'm gonna be petty about it and hurt Joe's feelings"

Joe: "yeah, I should've expected this"

Ming: are you bisexual (accusatory) or banging the makeup guy?

Joe: I have friends???

(Mia: Listen Ming doesn't have friends so he doesn't understand what those are

Me: oh, that's very clear. Gee, I wonder why that is 🤣)

I love that Ming dresses exclusively in $500 shirts 🤣

Wait, is this girl supposed to be set up with Ming 🤣 He's such a bitch 😆 I love him (forgot to tell with Mia about his slutty little rich asshole silk robe, but bless him and the slutty little rich asshole robe)

(Mia: Ming doesn't know how to function as a person but he does know how to look like a rich bitch)

Joe translating his anger at Ming by being hard on his trainees... Oh baby, no

He's really just "I'm asking for a friend"ed 🤣🤣🤣

Oh, I love this girl actually

Joe with the sex puns, lmao

Ming smiling and then immediately suppressing it is so sad actually

Get therapy, my dude

THE SHEETS ARE WET I AM SCREAMING

THE SNEEZES OH MY GODDD

Also, the work bathroom hook up cut with the training session was *chefs kiss* (the way this built tension and also narrative, and like, showed Joe's inner thoughts? Incredible.)

(Mia: Pepzi, our queen) FOR REALZ

He knows Joe's coffee prep

This is so domestic? (This makes me feel crazy, actually. And Joe's genuine awe at being seen in this small way breaks my fucking hearrrt)

Joe. Baby. Again, it has been five minutes and three orgasms, you cannot invite him to move in

He's being so nice to the stunt men today 😂

Ming:

The way he said Joe's name while staring at Sol like "okay bitch, watch this" killed me

He knew Joe would go to him and he wanted Sol to know real bad

Sol is ready to Fite

Listen, I knew he made him sleep on the floor OF HIS OWN HOUSE, bit it's still deeply funny to me

And then, he's just staring at him while he sleeps waiting for him to wake up so he can give him the bitchiest look known to man

Ming: *is jealous AF*

Joe: you jealous bro?

Ming: No, who would even like you?

Joe: *is the world's saddest puppy*

"sit ups break my back, live breaks my heart". Baby, no.

Lovesick Joe= drill Sergeant

Post orgasm Joe = kindergarten teacher

Sad Joe = bad poet who can't do a sit up

(Mia and I had a conversation about how sometimes, very drunk people want to be on the floor in a blanket, and she is very correct)

Wait.

...

Did Ming go home and make himself the same ramen Joe made for him? (Because he was jealous and bitchy and ran away after making the boy he likes Dad on purpose)

THIS IS MAKING ME INSANE, ACTUALLY?!

Okay, considering Ming is in love with his sister's boyfriend, they actually have a really sweet sibling dynamic, and she is actually The Best.

Why can't we go to a movie and eat fondue? Why did Thailand get movies so much better than we do? Let me watch a movie in a bed or eat fondue while I watch my favorite blorbos.

But also, he clearly just needs like, so much therapy

Like, his thought process is "I love him, no one else can have him, I'm gonna kidnap him". Which is .. Not Normal People Thoughts

"even if I could be happy, I shouldn't be"

THERAPY. THERAPY FOR A THOUSAND YEARS

Sol: " I will flirt by kicking his ass and hoping he kicks mine back"

Oh shit, Joe really just fucking knocked him out 🤣

Ming having a crisis hearing Joe talk about what love is, and then that little smile when Joe said he wanted then to be a couple... (Joe's like, pathological inability to let himself experience emotions is... Several Problems)

This man is insane

Listen, if I'm supposed to hate Ming, they shouldn't have had Up play him

NOW HE'S AT JOE'S HOUSE PLAYING HOUSE HUSBAND. (WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM?)

Rip curry

It's the ramen of suppressed feelings again

JOE STOP MAKING ME CRY CHALLENGE

Look, is Ming:

LADY AND THE TRAMP AND THE GRIP YOU HAVE ON THE THAI BL INDUSTRY

They're so cute that it's actually a crime that I know Ming is a whole red flag parade

The way Joe did the cutest little "please, tell me, please please please, I wanna hear you say the things we both know (you jealous baby)" and Ming was like "yeah okay, I will hum a quiet affirmative and we will never speak of it again" was so fucking cute. I am prepared to cry and scream and have my feelings hurt, but gosh do they do this well.

Okay, I have like, real actual thoughts about this, but also I do not. I am obsessed and too deep in it right now to words, but AAAHHHHHHH

[princeescaluswords]

Currently thinking of certain factions of fandom who tend to demonize Laura Hale. What exactly did she do that was so awful?

Leaving her injured and catatonic uncle in a care facility? Do they think he would've miraculously healed in New York if she brought him along (if that was even an option)? They seem to think she abandoned him or should've done more. What exactly, dear fandom?

Laura was a young woman who suffered a devastating loss and had to be the leader and look out for her younger brother and injured uncle. Cora was assumed dead too. Similar to Scott, she didn't ask to be alpha.

What did they expect her to do? Wage war against the perpetrators? She didn't know who was involved but she did return when Peter lured her. Fandom thinks she was unfit for the role of alpha because she wasn't ripping throats out and hunting down culprits, that she ~abandoned~ her uncle in a vulnerable state, blah blah.

The way they get angry at Scott disobeying Peter and Derek, you'd think they'd be livid over Peter killing his alpha who was also his niece who was the ~heir~ to Talia. Sacrilege!

Scott didn't ~trust~ Stiles? Well, Petey didn't trust his alpha! Why the secrecy? Why not report in immediately upon gaining consciousness?

*dons the stylish hat of Fandom Logic* Oh, oh Peter was involved in the Hale Fire! He always craved the mantle of alpha and needed Talia out of the way. But he got betrayed by Kate in the end and locked in with the rest of the family. That's why he insisted he's always been the alpha, he was promised the power if he helped destroy the pack. It's why he lured Laura back and killed her instead of communicating, he just wanted the power.

Your question puts me in mind of an argument both This Discontented Winter and Athena Dark have made to counter my indictments of fandoms worship of Peter Hale. To paraphrase TDW, "does all entertainment have to be a morality play?"

The simplistic answer to their bad faith riposte, is "No, it doesn't." You can watch two people sit in a room and not talk to each other. You can watch art hang motionless on a wall or paint dry, but these wouldn't be particularly popular forms of visual entertainment. What excites an audience is how the actors, the characters, the players treat each other, which is governed by principles concerning the distinction between right and wrong or good and bad behavior. In other words, morality.

People watch the Real Housewives franchise because they want to watch rich women behaving badly. People watch John Wick movies because they want to watch ultra violence performed without regard for human life and instead operate on a different code of behavior. Telenovelas, true crime documentaries, space operas, super hero movies -- all the pleasure their audiences gain from it revolve around decisions people make about how to treat each other. They watch it FOR the morality -- or the LACK of it.

The only forms of modern entertainment I can think of that don't focus on morality are professional sports and talent shows, and both of these take it as a given that neither side is cheating. Even Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom proposed to show us the behavior of animals so we can recognize their beauty and right to exist. My apologies to the BNF, but that's morality, too.

When This Discontented Winter bemoans the idea of all entertainment as morality play and Athena Dark that storytelling doesn't have to have a message, what they are in fact arguing for is the ability to celebrate evil. To freely indulge in the type of moral equivocation that allows them to take pleasure in the triumph of a man murdering his niece for power. You know how I know this, because if they truly wanted to enjoy something without the moral dimension, they wouldn't go to such great lengths to protect their blorbos from any moral condemnation.

Thus, we get the idea that Laura deserved death because she abandoned Peter in the long-term care facility, in which he rested safely for six years without the Argents even being aware of his location. We get the idea that Laura deserved death because she didn't seek vengeance for her family, even though she was absolutely looking for the person responsible for the death of her family -- we saw actual physical evidence of it. Thus we get the idea that Peter had no idea what he was doing, that he was out of his mind, only to find out later -- when none of the other characters believe that anymore -- that he was aware of what he was doing all along.

Remember Master Plan (2x12):

Peter: No. It's a laptop. What century are you living in? A few days after I got out of the coma, I transferred everything that we had. Fortunately, the Argents aren't the only ones that keep records.

Wow, that's a remarkable amount of foresight for a person who was supposedly so out of his mind that he shouldn't be held responsible for what he did.

The true problem with BNF trying to argue that we don't have to approach the show with an eye toward morality is because the show absolutely did. It was baked into the substance of the show from the get go. The characters are formed to make choices about how they treat other people. To use their own words, we have to treat the entertainment that is called Teen Wolf as a morality play because it IS a morality play. Every story is.

And this is the problem with fandom, which I've noted again and again and again in regards to Star Wars, Shadow and Bone, and now Loki. They want to extract the characters from the moral schema in which they were situated and put them in a new situation, yet pretend that there isn't a moral dimension to this act. And there is, because this new situation is one where only certain considerations are treated as valid, mostly exploitation of the baser instincts of human nature for the benefit of a very small class of stand-ins, defined by race, class, and gender.

[starplusfourletters]

I read vision of the future (hand of thrawn book 2 aka Who Scams the Scammers)

(spoilers) and once again it turned into a liveblog, apologies

Hold up are we doing Warrior Cats? Is this Warrior Cats Planet??

What base is “arm around your waist to serve as a psychic translator conduit”

Omigod I WISH my Warrior Cat name were “Jaded of Mara”

Everything I know about Soontir Fel I learned from x wing but I would not have guessed his primary motivation to be "dirt"

@ luke and mara: the girls are talkingggggg

North Barris Spaceport has me twitching

Ghent not remembering who the president is and just assuming it’s probably Leia. I mean fair

What base is "holding hands to brace yourselves over a swarm of flesh eating insects"

So we’re finally asking why Mara ISN’T actually dark side and the answer is… shrug emoji?

Man Zahn really is stuck on “character bonding hike” as a device huh. But consider I eat that shit up

Oh No Lando is racist

LMAO at “so oblivious you need a child pterodactyl to tell you to just kiss already” to “besides I don’t want my life to be like spiderman three I hated that movie” to “kissing with dubious consent” ALL ON THE SAME PAGE like Zahn finally realized he really needed to get this show on the road

LMAO at Ghent getting a free pass from Pellaeon to hack the empire. Like you’re just going to get the thing you need and not steal all of our military and political secrets right? Riiiight? Even more LMAO at the fact that that would probably not even occur to Ghent

When everyone assumes they're the protagonist so finding this one macguffin is their job personally. Like guys I like the energy but maybe we've got enough different plans to do the same thing (the exception, hilariously, being Luke) (and Oh No it turns out Luke is the one to find the macguffin because You Have to Follow Your Heart and Let the MacGuffin Come to You. I eat that shit up also)

Mara’s just... So great.

Not to make everything about my blorbo but absolutely to make everything about my blorbo I do wonder to what extent Ahsoka’s characterization post-Rebels doesn’t click for me is because a lot of the more obvious directions for Oldsoka overlap with Mara, and the powers that be didn’t want to reinvent the Mara Jade wheel. Not to say they have similar characterization – Mara has terminal sam coded dean girl syndrome – but idk, in dynamic range maybe? Calling out bullshit, weaponizing her own abrasiveness, covering insecurity with humor, being Kind of a Lot with a side of trust issues at any given moment – there are modes Mara and Youngsoka share that didn’t pass to Oldsoka apparently. Idk possibly all this is just me wanting them to TALK

Establishing that you can do evil things for selfless reasons without necessarily being in any danger of falling to the dark side is... Philosophically interesting

We interrupt this tale of political espionage to bring you Jedi Relationship Counseling (spoiler alert: communication is key)

"That part of her life [Mara’s time with Palpatine] had died unmourned" I mean mourned a little bit. Mourned for at least a book and a half

I've been willing to suspend my disbelief on everything in this book until "both Luke and Mara forget that ysalamiri exist"

I will never not be a sucker for The Movements and Transferred Ownership of Emotionally Significant Weapons

Oh No thrawn made a second foundation

The Aing-Tii seem OP but whatever

Oh No the second foundation forgot to close the garage doors

(Re: The Jade’s Fire) I know Mara’s having a Moment, and I promise I’m taking it seriously, but when the warrior cat asked “What is it you want, Mara Jade” my WHOLE BRAIN responded with "I want Hermione Granger! And a rocket ship!"

Moranda has real Kevin from home alone energy and I'm living for it

Is it bad that I’m actually kinda happy the Imperials’ Bothawui shield plan worked? Like, they had a really interesting plan and I’m happy for them. They earned it

WAIT IS MORANDA DEAD FR?

What base is “full mind meld while you’re fighting for your lives”

Who would win: ~1.5 Jedi, 2 sentinel droids droidekas, or Artoo with a sauntering gun

If I had a nickel for every time this duology explicitly established Jedi can’t go completely without oxygen, even when in a trance, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot but which makes me feel like the Ahsoka show had a weirdly specific axe to grind with the source material

Luke’s proposal to Mara is Just. The. Funniest. Thing. That’s some Anakin-level cringe and the prequels aren’t even out yet. He truly is his father’s son.

I mean POV there’s this guy and for a couple years you want to kill him, and then you realize that’s more of a You Problem, so then you’re friendquaitances for a decade mostly because you don’t approve of the shit he’s getting into, and then you have one (1) honest conversation and get caught in a death trap and he’s like “so I think the next step for us is marriage”

LEIAAAAAA! Full Jedi Knight Leia is both terrifying and hot. I would run.

“So it is treason” – Some random guy

Lando needs to be on the New Republic payroll simply for being willing to speak to any of the other characters and also he needs a raise. This poor guy getting called on to command the entire New Republic fleet mid-battle and he’s like “I’ve been a civilian for 15 years and also I knew you would pull some horse piss like this steve”

Mara Jade, Imperial protege. Skills include: Identifying load-bearing walls. (Now all I want is Property Brothers: Sith Edition)

Mara please. Luke please. These absolute idiots. This is some pear scene shit. I hope nothing bad happens to them ever

The whole back half of this book has been an emotional rollercoaster for me specifically because I wanted Flim to be Thrawn FR soooooo baddddd. And now I’m sad. His name literally means scam don’t do this to me Zahn

I’ve been amused by all the Star Wars universe idioms but I gotta take a moment to specifically showcase “burned your sky-arches.” Karrde is a delight to have in class

Having an independent intelligence agency that’s supposed to work for both the New Republic and the Empire seems absolutely unhinged but go off I guess

When the New Republic and Empire sign peace accords and Luke can’t even be bothered to show up

Mara is great and her arc is fuckin hilarious to me. The narrative has identified her as The Damaged One and I’m like???? She came to terms with her troubled past, drew her own boundaries regarding the Dark Side, recognized that there are people who care about her instead of pre-emptively pushing them away, and resolved to form deeper emotional connections. Smash cut to ROTS Anakin whose physical and psychic damage has literally turned his brain into oatmeal

Again I know this was before the prequels Mad points for explicitly saying Mara needed to form attachments to become a Jedi. Zahn being pretty gangsta there

OH NO THEMB

[eelfuneral]

Some of the discussion that happens within the Star Wars fandom, particularly discussion of the Jedi, can be really upsetting to observe if you have certain disabilities. In fact, I’m having a hard time even liking the Jedi right now because I can’t help but associate them with some really ableist takes that I’ve seen in their defense.

Let me explain: a lot of people with certain disabilities (such as autism, ADHD, bipolar disorder, and C-PTSD) deal with something called emotion dysregulation, which means that you feel emotions more intensely than the average person and that this strong emotional state sticks around for far longer than it should. When you have emotional regulation issues, an event that might make somebody else a bit sad or mildly frustrated has the ability to put you out of commission for hours or even an entire day. Emotion dysregulation is very stigmatized, even in people who go out of their way to avoid harming people or lashing out while dealing with an episode. People with this specific issue are often told that they are “dramatic”, “attention seeking”, or “future abusers” for what amounts to an automatic emotional response that a person cannot control. This constant pushback forms a metaphorical blister that can easily be popped back open when you see anything that reminds you of what caused it in the first place.

Now, let’s move on to the Jedi. While it can be argued that their teachings were intended to instruct people to reign in their BEHAVIOR as a result of their emotions, several lines in the fist six movies sound an awful lot like they are condemning having negative emotions at all. Yoda literally tells both Luke and Anakin that emotions like fear and anger BY THEMSELVES are of the Dark Side, and these lines were very difficult for a lot of people who have dealt with trauma, neurodivergence, or other issues that cause “big emotions”. These lines, intentionally or not, mirror a lot of the things that real people have said to those of us dealing with emotion dysregulation, and people have every right to talk about this in their own spaces unmolested.

Some of the defenses of the Jedi in the context of how they are instructed to deal with their emotions come off as dismissive at best and ableist at worst. Yes, if you dig through Star Wars canon enough, you can find portrayals of the Jedi and emotions that point to a more nuanced view where choices and actions are the source of evil rather than the emotions, but this does not change the fact that the Yoda lines and other emotionally repressive applications of the Jedi Code very much exist in parts of canon. A person who found the emotionally repressive variant of Jedi teachings to be upsetting due to a disability will likely feel as though you are trying to dismiss their feelings and belittle them if you “correct” them for “misinterpretation of the Jedi”. I get that it sucks to see people bash your blorbos, but if someone is doing it because they are dealing with something IRL like trauma or ableism, then it’s best not to engage and just let that person work through it.

I have also seen people who are defending the Jedi make statements that outright attack people for having intense emotions. I remember a take that basically said that you were a baby or a psychopath if you found the Jedi code regarding emotions to be “too hard”. I’ve seen people dismiss the trauma that Anakin went through and its possible effect on how he reacted to some aspects of the Jedi order in a way that mirrors the invalidation that those of us with emotional regulation issues have experienced for being “too much” for all of our lives. Yes, it is important to avoid harming others when you are in a bad place, and no Anakin was not a great person, but so many of these takes are devoid enough of nuance that they read as if they are just trashing people who have “too many”emotions.

Feel free to defend your favorite characters all that you would like, but please spare a thought for those of us who might not dig everything about them for reasons connected to disability and trauma. The Jedi aren’t real, but we very much are.

[feerz]

Ranking all the Jesuses from every version I've watched/listened to so far

without further ado let's get into it 🙌

Ian Gillan - 1970 Original concept album

The True Doer that you cannot outdo. The og who made this role what it is today. And since the og album was were I got my start and obsession with jcs, I have a huge fondness for him. There's just something so- so... about him. His vocals? Insane, fantastic, the golden standard. His Gethsemane is Everything. He raised the bar so high (literally lol) and made this role harder for everyone that came after him and I respect that. I also love his characterisation. He is a rockstar and he knows it. Adore this whiny ass messiah and his dramatics. 9/10

Ted Neeley - 1973 movie

Sad little mouse man. He's like some small rodent to me. His gethsemane is iconic, but beyond it I don't care to much about his Jesus. He's perfectly inoffensive, but I find him a bit boring. Poor guy also had the disadvantage of performing against Carl Anderson, who's too powerful and who commanded every scene he was in, outshining Jesus. Tedsus is not for me personally, but he's definitely not bad. 6/10

Camilo Sesto - Madrid 1975 album

I like him! He reminds me of Ian's Jesus but sadder (love to see it). Really good vocals. That 'POR QUE' ate. And his Gethsemane in general too. I don't have that much to say besides that, but Señor Sesto is really good in this role. 8/10

James Whitson - San Jose Civic Light Opera's 1990 production

Uhhhhhhh. Watched this in a discord watch party and for half of it we were thought this was Ted. It wasn't. Don't really know what to say, there wasn't anything really memorable or notable about him. Also has the disadvantage of being pared up with Carl Anderson, except it's even worse here. If Carl was anywhere near him, no chance I was paying attention to Jesus. Um... he chased Santa out of the Temple! That's something! 3/10

Steve Balsamo - 1996 London revival album

Steve Balsamo Jesus, my dearly beloved. How can you not love him. Just rewatch his Gethsemane for the 1000th time. His vocals are out of this world, man has organ pipes in place of vocal chords. Props to him for actually crying in gethsemane and still killing it. Absolutely fantastic. And his beautiful hair and those brown eyes really add to it. He's such a sad pathetic man, it's great. No complaints 10/10

Glenn Carter - 2000 movie

I'm shaking, please buy him brown contacts. I am a glensus hater, although I have to admit that during my second viewing I didn't dislike him as much. Easily my least favourite gethsemane (lmm excluded), except his delivery of "what you started, I didn't start it", that was surprisingly good. Again, I'm a hater but bonus points for the entertainment factor. 4/10

Paul Nolan - 2012 Broadway revival

BORING! Sorry your trouple doesn't save you from being so incredibly bland. It's like looking at a white wall that has just been painted over and you're watching it dry. Gethsemane is solid vocally, I like his interactions with others. But Jesus himself? No thanks. The staging of the crucifixion was so great, but then there he is with his mouth agape like a baby bird being fed and unconvincing "suffering". Also, no blood? 3/10

Ben Forster - 2012 UK Arena tour

THIS IS THE ONE. My roman empire. My most dear blorbo. He's been living in my head rent free for months. I love him so much. He's just so incredibly stressed out and angsty and pathetic and constantly on the verge of a complete mental breakdown. His gethsemane is my favourite. Just pretty much everything I could want from a performance of it. The way he curls up on the floor? The little moments when his voice breaks a bit from emotion?? The knee thing??? Great, fantastic, stunning, no notes. Also I adore his costuming, finally Jesus is given something more interesting. 11/10

John Legend - 2018 NBC

Hot take, but he's not nearly as bad as people make him out to be. He's just fine. I do enjoy his voice, Poor Jerusalem is especially good. Although I don't love his acting in the second act, but I really liked him in the first one. This Jesus just seems really nice and friendly and I love that. Gethsemane is solid vocally, even without the G5. Anyways he's not bad at all! 6/10

Andrew Latobesi - 2018 Villanova College

This was another wildcard from the watch party. Jesus didn't stand out much because we were all a bit distracted by Judi. And Mary. He was bland and the acting was not fantastic, but this is a high school prod, and for what it's worth he's not bad. Gethsemane was solid enough considering everything. The crucifixion surprisingly hit, good crying there. ??/10 since I don't think it would be fair to rank him against all those adult professional performers.

Jack Hopewell - 50th Anniversary North America tour

The only Jesus that made me cry while watching. He suffers real good (and looks very pretty while doing so). He's just so- so... I just wanted to wrap him up in a soft blanket and give him a kiss on the forehead and feed him soup. Tbh I think he's one of the best vocally too. His high note is my fav. Gethsemane in general is just great too. Love how much he's just some silly guy who then has to face the Horrors. He's just very cute :] 10/10

Jeangu Macrooy - 2024 Netherlands national tour

The most poor little meow meow Jesus ever. He's so pathetic it's great. Him smiling and being happy was also so cute. Really good vocals too, man killed those high notes. His gethsemane too... Jeangu Macrooy absolutely steels the show and it's fantastic and incredibly heartbreaking. Want to see his performance again so so badly. In the meantime everyone should check out a snippet of his performance 10/10

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Jesus Christ Superstar NL (@jesuschristsuperstarnl)

[armoredsuperheavy]

MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE: An Insufferably Queer Film Review

I rewatched MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE (1987) for the first time since it came out last night and WOW I have some thots about this thing. We enjoyed roasting the living shit out of it but there's a few gold nuggets in there despite the brutal budget cuts that impacted the plot and what not.

Contains plenty of spoilers.

God bless Wardrobe

OK so … the film doesn't bother to set up any real motivations for the characters, and He-Man (an incredible looking Dolph Lundgren rrrowrrrr) has almost no dialogue which is such a fucking waste. But this complete lack of narrative framework means we can apply OUR OWN explanations to events.

From the very beginning Skeletor has this obsession with He-Man, which will simmer and then culminate in a final showdown. But before we get to that hot mess, we have to wade through the middle of the film.

He gets as much screen time as He-Man.

Meet the utterly repulsive dwarf scientist Gwildor played by Billy Barty, a rinse-and-repeat of his performance as an utterly repulsive magic troll in Legend (1986). This dwarf is the film's Jar Jar. His face is like a deep dish pizza after an acid attack. His real mouth is visible behind the immobile thick prosthetics and it makes for some truly disturbing close-up dialogue shots. Please, pan away from Pizza the Hutt and give us another shot of Lundgren's pecs please I am begging you, DP

We find ourselves in Gwildor's hobbit hole, and he's a magical inventor. So he has this cylindrical object, it's not clear whether it's a weapon or a teleporter but I'm calling it the Butt-Reamer 9000. Inexplicably, there are two of these things and Skeletor has the other one, and wants to collect both of them. So Skeletor has an excuse to go hunting He-Man as he's hunting his missing McGuffin, er I mean sex toy.

Features rotating ticklers, a big improvement over the Butt Reamer 8000.

The thing about the Butt-Reamer 9000 is its magical power to make even this promising setup devolve into a grind as it whisks the Eternians into the magical, enchanting world of a 1987 New Jersey parking lot. WHO WROTE THIS?

The entire middle of the movie is pretty much hot garbage and involves police detectives, arson, vandalism, high school prom, and other dumb bullshit. Aside from the distractingly naked He-Man, the good guys are an utter bore and include some Eternians, some regular Earth humans and their quotidian concerns which really brings down the fun of the movie. (No, baby Courtney Cox, I don't care about your imminent breakup with your mediocre boyfriend!)

The film owes a second mortgage to Star Wars and steals a lot of ideas from it, from bad guys in shiny black stormtrooper helmets, to heroes shooting blue lasers, baddies shooting red.

Let's turn from this depressing state of affairs and focus back on our cherished villain blorbos.

(L-R: Karg, Evil-Lyn our goddess, and Blade.)

Evil-Lyn is beautiful, evil, a cold bitch queen. Gurl you can do so much better than sticking with this loser Skeletor.

Dump! Him! He's gay anyway!

Skeletor is a shit lazy boss of Greyskull and makes Evil-Lyn run the goddamn place in general. He literally shoots the messenger at one point. Great for morale, there, Skel buddy.

Look closer. Fierce!

There's a number of budget rate henchmen on the job, including Karg, who used a whole can of aqua net this morning and is running around in a white fur capelet with a massive bouffant. He is just doing his best okay, really it's hard to look fabulous around these other bitches.

Blade definitely deserved more screen time

Also, Blade, who had a slutty costume of silvery scale maille or something, and was a bit like a sci-fi bondage Riff Raff / space Judas Priest. Best side character costume.

So, there we have it, the queer coded villain roster of the film.

This homemade collage is for sure taped inside Skeletor's locker at school

Note the gigantic brown eye.

Finally, thank Satan, we return to Castle Greyskull, though it's more like beige-and-brown-skull. But aside from the questionable use of faux marble finishes, this is a quality villain lair with hard points installed directly in the floor of the living room, convenient death pits, and an excellent throne setup that I'm pretty sure they recycled for The Fifth Element.

He-Man is captured alive and brought before Skeletor. Blade does the honors with a 15 foot glowing red bullwhip to He-Man's naked and oiled back, much to the delight of dyed-in-the-wool sadist Evil-Lyn.

Movie is getting good now. Was the side quest to Jersey really necessary?

Skeletor, though, watches this action from the throne and has a lot of interesting responses. We had to conclude that Skeletor is a big old bottom but won't admit it. As a dom he is utterly ineffective. He's trying to make He-man kneel and all this shit but He-Man is not submissive at all. Skeletor is … lol. He really just wants to smell He-Man's dick.

The depths (heh) of his bottom nature will become apparent shortly. But first, a costume change.

Skeletor's glow up --- i'm every woman.

Honey we know you're just trying to impress He-man.

Werk tho.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Hole

The gigantic sky-sphincter directly behind the throne has slid open wide… "Begin! The Goatse Ritual! Join me, He-Man, as I become LORD OF THE GAPE" But He-Man's phallic symbol shines bright in defiance. In the end, Skeletor is vanquished symbolically by his own nature and instead of his hole swallowing He-Man, a gaping hole swallows Skeletor instead.

They don't really explain what happened to Evil-Lyn after He-Man's inevitable victory in final man to man combat but she was too smart to get caught sleeping in there and must have survived. What a hot evil competent BABE. After the events of the film end, I vote that Evil-Lyn seduces Teela (the good guy solder lady) and has a hot toxic lesbian affair with her.

Evil-Lyn serves cunt in hell 4 evar

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

Want some more?

Nice fanart

Another breakdown on Buzzfeed if you enjoyed mine this is even more gay headcanon

The movie is free on Tubi if you want to subject yourself to it.

ArmoredSuperHeavy, 19 Aug 2023

[softboiledwonderland]

Thank you for tagging me in this @konartiste 😊 being very lame and doing it months after the fact <3

LOTR themed tag game! Reblog with your own answers and tag three or more people you want to get to know better!

- How old were you when you were first introduced to LOTR? I was nine when my mum took me to the cinema (I think I'd read and loved The Hobbit by then) to watch the movie. I did not like it at all! 😂 We didn't know what it was about and had no idea it was part one in a trilogy, which came as a nasty surprise after three hours of horrible movie lol. I loved the beginning, but like: the troll terrified me to my core and for a long time afterwards I was scared it would somehow come after me, Gandalf died, I thought Boromir had a suspicious face from the start and didn't mind that he died (cue 20+ years later and I'm writing the most important fic in my life so far about him) but his death was still traumatic, and I just wanted my comfort hobbits to get a happy ending and instead they were crying and resigning themselves to more misery. I didn't even watch the other two movies when they came out I was so disgusted with the whole thing lol. Read the books and watched the movies as an older teen and loved them all.

- Favourite LOTR character? Probably Aragorn, but also the hobbits (they're a unit). The entire Fellowship is so dear to me though. And Boromir is my blorbo.

- Books or Movies? Books! The movies are cool and all, but the books are where Tolkien is.

- Which location in Middle Earth would you want to visit? If I had to choose only one it'd probably be Rivendell, but also the Shire, the Old Forest, Rohan, Dol Amroth, Gondor... and the Great River, just because of my fic. <3

- Favourite Movie? Not sure, perhaps The Fellowship, ironically enough.

- Favourite scene? I'm so bad at remembering movie scenes! Maybe the Council of Elrond? There are so many amazing ones with such beautiful music so I'm not sure. Love Gandalf charging at the Nazgûl with Pippin in tow <3

- Favourite quote? “The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.”

- What Middle Earth race would you like to be? I'm usually a Hobbit in every online quiz, but it'd be fun to see what being an Elf is like.

- Favourite LOTR ship: This is going to sound weird because I'm writing a long, shippy, Canon Character/OC fic at the moment, but I'm not really into LOTR for the ships so I kind of don't have one? I adore Aragorn/Arwen and Faramir/Éowyn as much as the next person and Sam and Rosie are precious, but I'm not really fussed.

Going all out and tagging all the mutuals I THINK I saw reblogging LOTR at some point, if I'm wrong I'm sorry, if you already did this back when it was making the rounds please ignore it, if you want to ignore it anyway by all means feel free to do so, thank you and have a nice day <3 @dangerously-human @to-be-frank-i-dont-care @phoenixflames12 @ass-deep-in-demons @spifflocated @erathene

[tasty-littl-snack]

Trying to understand the logic of people saying they’re done with Watcher and Ryan and Shane but will turn around and watch Buzzfeed Unsolved which has *checks notes* Ryan and Shane.

Yeah tbh. I think I can kinda understand it, it's like you're listening to earlier albums of your fave music artist, because they changed the genre with their latest album and you don't vibe with their new songs or watch a tv show's earlier seasons because the later one's totally destroyed the characters you liked. (Happened to me, like some things seriously had only two seasons and I'm ignoring the five next ones and two movies or whatever.)

So in that aspect I can kinda get it. Bfu started 8 years ago, that's a whole almost decade, and sometimes you don't really think of the quality of the content (because I will once again die on the hill that waverly gf ep is much better than waverly bfu I'm still confused how a show this badly made took off in the yt algo back in the day), but what it made you feel like, or where you were in life when you first watched/got into it. There's a kind of nostalgia attached to it and I imagine all of those fans who are like "I hate ghost files but I loooove bfu it's my comfort show", don't really care that it's Ryan and Shane it's the familiarity of watching it over and over for years and it being more memeable and quotable because those lines got repeated and memed to death over the years.

For example I don't really find myself coming back to the earliest eps of bfu if I had to rewatch them. I much prefer Ryan's normal voice to his theory one, and that's because seasons 6 and 7 are when Watcher was a thing, and their interpersonal relationship changed to a more "I like it here, we are friends". In the earlier seasons they aren't that close, Shane is more closed off and assholeish towards Ryan, and well Ryan is younger and thus more kind of playing a cool dude. I feel like he got to be more himself as the years went on and I like that.

That's also the odd thing about being a fan of real people as there is an interesting dichotomy to it. Like on one hand I respect them for what they do their comedy/craft/ability to express their creativity. On the other there's the respect for them as individuals, acknowledging that at the end of the day they are like. Just some guys making stuff. And people grow and change. You're not the same person you were at 25 when you are 34, you are not the same person you were at 30 and 38, but since you got immortalized at 25 and 30 and continue to make content for years people expect you to be always like that. A character that doesn't change, or changes according to a logic of a story. But real life is so much stranger and more interesting than that! There's no logic to your actions, you make mistakes and grow from them. At the time of making a decision you have no idea if it's a good or bad one or how it will go, and if you think you do I don't think you had serious choices to make in your life yet. But I think people expect of them to be those characters who don't change or grow. I assume those people have no respect for Ryan and Shane as real human beings, because they have some imagined version of them how they are presented in those episodes they watched over and over. So to them it doesn't matter that bfu has Ryan and Shane, because those are seen as different characters, not the "evil greedy capitalists who made their own company", but your friends that you know the best because you can quote their lines as you watch them in the background. And additionally there's the nostalgia of watching your beloved show that makes you feel younger because life was simpler back then. You didn't have your worries of adult life because you were in college/high school, and bfu reminds them of that. The fact that it's not giving watcher any money is only better for the haters bc it's like pirating. You still enjoy your favorite part of your blorbos, and don't feed "the big evil watcher" so kinda best of both worlds.

Some people also can't admit that the content didn't change that much, they just lost interest/grew out of it (and it's fine, interests change that's normal), but that's not on them, that's surely on Ryan and Shane for changing and evolving in their craft.

Baffling to me tbh because if I was a fan of them I'd wish them well not for their downfall and contribute to lower views by giving it to a big corporation (which isn't watcher). But that's just me.

Sorry this got deep I just am so tired of people saying bfu is better. It's really not you just miss the person you were when you watched it for the first time. That's the case with every 'comfort' show. It's why it brings you comfort. Real people behind it don't really matter.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/740123102285086720/all-the-griping-about-ownvoices-claiming-to?source=share

Re: your response:

It's interesting because in the DS9 slash shipping fandom and particularly with Garashir, a lot of people DO write Julian Bashir, a character of color as their perfect woobie they projected on to - he probably gets that more than any other character in that fandom. And then there ended up being a backlash that people were "writing him as white," including in an actual academic paper I saw from someone who is on Tumblr, while they were willing to explore writing him as fully queer and neurodivergent headcanons in fic.

Which is interesting to me because most of the stuff that writes him as queer is stuff that just ships him with Garak or another dude, but doesn't spend a ton of time on his queer *identity*. And I'm personally fine with that; I've read enough coming-out stories and didactic identity explanations in both fic and professionally published/released original work to last me a lifetime. But if writing a COC without drawing attention to their racial/ethnic/cultural identity is "writing them as white," shouldn't writing a non-heterosexual character without drawing attention to their queer identity similarly count as "writing them as straight"?

Anyway, I go back and forth on this because I also understand how Islamophobia and general racism against MENA works, how the "good Muslim" or "good Arab" is one who is as assimilated as possible, and how it can feel with fic that has a COC but doesn't go into their background like that person is only ok with POC *up to a point*. As well as the issues with how in canon, Star Trek's diversity shows a lot of POC but has only started to recognize actual non-Western "cultural" touchstones very recently. (E.g. When they referenced literature, it was always Shakespeare or the ancient Greeks or Poe, never the Romance of the Three Kingdoms or Rumi.) I get that. At the same time, I've definitely read stuff especially by non-MENA people which wrote about "his culture" in a very exotifying way that seemed to suggest that that kind of cultural identity is only "real" if it happens in a very stereotypical way. And I also think especially with a character who is so heavily framed as British, with a British accent, played by an actor who is half-English and grew up there.... I've also seen the brainworms in fandoms from Star Wars to Bridgerton with how people can't accept European characters/actors of color as European, and I do wish people would consider how they're suggesting that English identity can only be "white" by acting like it's wrong to ever portray Bashir as English. Something I've heard plenty of British POC complain about as like an attitude in their country that actually harms them.

I think these questions are complicated, because you have racist phenomena on both ends. There definitely are racists who only accept POC if they are as un-POC as possible, if they are assimilated, and see them wearing or saying or doing things that mark them as culturally different as "threatening." But there are other racists who think the only right way to write "diverse stories" is to have them be heavily cultural and represent stereotypes - the poor, urban black American, the Arab who lives in the desert and wears a thawb and is a devout Muslim - and that POC who are not like that talking about their own lives are somehow not "authentic enough." The thing that the movie American Fiction is about.

--

Yeah. Fandom isn't nearly as bad about characters of color overall as some wank would say. Fandom fucking loves Asian characters who are the unmarked leads of Asian media (and no, I don't think it's just because they're pale or because some idiots in the 90s thought anime characters were white).

Bashir was treated in canon in a way that fandom likes. Naturally, fandom took note.

My own woobie blorbo is Rico from Miami Vice. He's much less the single perfect tear woobie than Sonny (his buddy cop partner who is white), but he still comes in for lots of whump and screen time and narrative focus. Ye Olde zine fandom was unkind to him, at least in the m/m parts (though a lot of that is because all of the old slash zines were edited by the same couple who were... like... kinning the ship that he's a rival to).

But a lot of fans who watch that show see a very pretty, very cultured man with epic buddy cop tension with his partner, nice suits, and tons of whump plots, and they're like "God damn, where is the fic???" If canon provides, the fannish interest will be there to at least some degree. (Getting enough good writers in the same fandom at the same time to launch it as a place readers will stick around is another story, unfortunately.)

My personal view, admittedly as a white girl, is that Sturgeon's Law means what we really need is a bunch of canons that dangle tasty blorbos at us and much less policing of fic. And then a solid reccing culture to sort through the bad stuff.

I've seen a lot of complaints about writing characters as "white", and they often strike me as clueless or disingenuous. I'd rather have a bunch of "Oopsie, Garak caught Bashir using the holodeck for kinky roleplay about himself" fics than people with no clue trying to inject MENA stuff that wasn't in the show and that they aren't personally competent to handle. And half the time, this complaint seems to be some sort of unintentionally racist bilge where the speaker thinks the fic is making someone too cultured or too upper class or too kinky or some other shit that has nothing to do with anything.

Honestly, I sometimes think that the real complaint is "How dare fandom sound like the upper-middle class suburbanite bookworms that so many of us are?!?!"

[lbctal]

Thanks for engaging with my posts!! I’ve been such a fan of westerns and old Hollywood for so long that finding a new blorbo that isn’t a. Dead or b. In their 90s and retired is absolutely shocking! (Eli Wallach/Toshiro Mifune/Roger Livesey some examples)

Whilst I plan on watching Fallout again, please would you give me recs for Mr Goggins’ faves of yours? Movies/TV whatever media is fine!

I have literally watched the worst early tv tapes ever to watch teleplays of Hemingway texts starring Jason Robards and Eli Wallach…

Thanks for the content and I hope I’m not bothering you by asking for a list!

of course!! well, that’s a great reason to be into walton goggins, glad you found him!!

i totally get you, i will watch absolutely ANYTHING walton is in, even finding myself watching old bad movies as well, haha.

and absolutely not, don’t worry about it! i love talking about this old man, lmao.

if you’re really into westerns, i highly recommend justified. it’s more of a neo-western but it’s absolutely amazing and perfect television and is the whole reason i came to love mr goggins! the hateful eight is also amazing and probably my all time favorite movie. it has great action and stunning cinematography. django unchained is an amazing movie as well, but his character in it sucks. also shanghai noon is absolutely hilarious although i haven’t finished it yet and he’s not in it that much. outside of westerns, the righteous gemstones and vice principals have got to be one of my favorite shows ever. they’re to die for funny and danny mcbride and walton are a dream together. the shield is great television and extremely stressful to watch, lmao. so definitely not a have on in the background type of show.

anyone else is free to rec anything else in the comments!!

thank you for the ask!! 🩶

[faustiandevil]

Depression makes a man do stupid things and here is what I did. Peter Lorre tier list, all movies (well the ones that were available online and in a language I could understand), all characters ranked in a highly scientific way. Feel free to defend your blorbos, but know this I’m right, you’re wrong, SHUDDUP!! (This is a reference I hope y’all get, but in any case do feel free to defend your blorbos I wanna hear y’alls takes.)

My reasonings under the cut. Enter, but be warned it truly is my twisted sick mind down there. If you scroll down long enough to see the Shining reference, I love you.

Bildreporter Johnny (F.P.1 antwortet nicht): No, no, no, no, no, no! Highly unfuckable look! Why does he look like an old man and a baby at the same time??? I can’t do this!!

Mr. Kentaro Moto (Mr. Moto Series): Racism. I’m sorry, I can’t. Absolutely hate it. Shit tier. Same goes with the movies. I only really liked Mr. Moto’s Gamble, which I found out was actually a Charlie Chan script asdfghjkl

Stephen Danel (Island of Doomed Men): Slave owner. Killed a monkey. Was kind of okay with his wife tho, until the end, I guess they needed a reason to off him.

Roderick Raskolnikov (Crime and Punishment): I’m putting him down on the list, because I read Crime and Punishment and the movie is way too ‘Murican. Already the names were bastardized and as someone who loves Russian literature I just can’t deal with that shit. He was okay, but ehhh… (The 1970 movie is way better, and Taratorkin is the best Rashkolnikov, fucking fight me.)

Nikolai Zaleshoff (Background to Danger): Again, butchering Russian names. Not even a patronymic. Kind of a caricature as well with all of the vodka drinking. And again he gets shot and for what??

Sergeant Berger (The Cross of Lorraine): I’m stronger. I will resist. The scene where he blows the cigarette smoke into the guy’s face and kicks him does things to me. I will admit. But that man is a nazi and I cannot in good consciousness put him anywhere else, but shit tier.

Captain Chang (They Met in Bombay): Glark Cable tolerable?? In my movie?? More likely than you think. Did not like the racism again. The beard is nice, so he goes slightly higher than shit tier.

Baron Ikito (Invisible Agent): He gets put in a slightly higher tier than shit tier only, because of the last line in the movie that made me very very gay. “I can make an honorable man out of you” like you can’t make him say shit like that I’m already a weak little homosexual!!

Hilary Cummins (The Beast With Five Fingers): This may be a surprise, but listen, hear me out, I have reasons. I cannot deal with an Astrology bitch. Like, yeah I also like to read my horrorscope every now and then, and I’m a Satanist, but I don’t vibe with that shit, he is too obsessed. Not every gay is gonna be into Asstrology. Also I cannot moan the name Hilary while giving this man dick without thinking of the Clinton woman. Also Cummins??? That’s an OnlyEnemies name. PS. The movie was bad when the hand turned out to be fake.

Julius O’Hara (Beat The Devil): Oh, no I’m not vibing with the hair again. I’m not into it. Loved his bullshitting, even if he is not very good at lying.

Conseil (20,000 Leagues Under the Sea): Liked seeing him together with my rich successful uncle Lukács, and had some nice fits in the movie, but it’s only slightly above shit tier. Saw tentacles, but got nothing. Absolutely disappointed.

Ahmed (Five Weeks in a Balloon): Racism again. Love his rainbow colored pants. The fez does nothing for me. Because of the earring he gets put higher than shit tier.

Pawlitschek (Bomben Auf Monte Carlo): He’s cute. He knows how to cook. Its fucking goulash of course, but ugggh fine I’ll eat it. Look I love you I’ll eat it. Fucking tourist food that no self-respecting Hungarian is going to touch. It’s just fucking soup.

Otto Fuesslli (What Women Dream Of): He is adorable. Clearly faking that piano play, but he sings like an angle. Docking points for being a cop tho. I’m sorry, but in this house we ain’t fucking cops.

Maj. Sigfried Gruning (Lancer Spy): Okay, I’m conflicted. Not sold on the hair, or the mustache, but I’m a military man, I love a uniform, he has a sword. (Babygirl you wanna see my sword~?) Uhhh… he also doesn’t do much in the movie.

Louis ‘The Dope’ Monteau (I’ll Give a Million): Adowable. A dumb baby. And that is why he only gets put in mid tier. Too cute for my taste. Still good for him and all the other poor homeless guys for pulling off the scam of the century on the rich bastards. Respect.

Polo (I Was An Adventuress): Same problem with Louis. He has too much boi energy. Every time I see that image where he looks up with them big ol’ eyes all I can think about is that meme the “Bitch use your words I don’t speak bottom”.

The Stranger (The Stranger on The Third Floor): Okay… uhm… this is a though one… There’s not much info on The Stranger, we don’t even know his name, we only know that he is mentally ill and killed a man. We all have our faults. I mean in this day and age who isn’t mentally ill and killed at least one person. So… mid tier. Like his scarf tho.

Paul Hyde (Mr. District Attorney): The way he got shot was bullshit. What the fuck was that about?? I hardly even remember this movie.

Joel Cairo (The Maltese Falcon): Okay… I gotta confess… I fucking hate the Maltese Falcon. There I said it. It just rubs me the wrong way that in book context and Hays code movie context Joel is gay and gets beaten up the most. Like finally a highly canon gay one for me and I get this home of phobia. Fuck this. Also I do not like Bogart and I think this movie started it lol.

Pepi (All Through the Night): I’mma get shit for this. But… but… hear me out… sometimes a man thinks with his dick and not with his brain. This is one of them. When he shows up at the bar, dressed up all nice, smoking his little cigarette… I’m weak. And yes I know he is a nazi, but I could fix him. I could fuck the fascism out of him. If not… well… //cocks gun// Mid tier, because I can’t put him higher than that. If not for the fascism he would be A tier.

Jan Bernazsky (The Conspirators): I remember nothing from this movie. I think he was a red herring. He goes in mid.

Slimane (Casbah): Casablanca the musical. Getting very gay vibes from Slimane. Why are you a detective? To catch other men. To hold them close after you shoot them. Wow faggy. Anyway, a bit conflicted and had to dock points, because again cop.

Toady (Rope of Sand): I only watched this movie, because Claude Rains is the same height as me and I was hoping to see them stand next to each other, so I can visualize the height difference. Got a very nice homosexual cig lit scene from it. I have no recollection of the movie besides that scene, but he looks fine.

Japanese Steward on the S.S. Carnatic (Around the World in Eighty Days): I can’t fuck a man on a boat I’ll get sea sick.

Kurt Bergner (The Buster Keaton Story): Were you channeling some other asshole director from your life? You looked like you knew what you were doing? Anyway, would fuck just so I could get my start in the movie industry, but this relationship ain’t gonna last longer than a headline.

Brankov (Silk Stockings): Glorious Technicolor~ I have issues with this movie. It’s the inferior Ninotchka. The Russian names are once again butchered. The dancing is nice. Go white boy, fuck up the dance floor!! Nothing else to say about it really.

Abdul (The Sad Sack): Mon petite~! If I justified Pepi being in mid-tier, I can do the same for Abdul. He was eager to kill Jerry Lewis’ character and I think the movie would have benefited from it. Still he can’t go higher, because of the… ehh… Hollywood racism. He would be top fucking tier otherwise.

Skeeter (The Big Circus): Not into clowns. (A contradictory statement. If you know you know.)

Montresor (Tales of Terror): I’m in a predicament, because I’m a cat lover and this man was mean to a cat. He is very hot tho. Sorry, babes, but you gotta go into the mid rankings. Also fix your alcohol problem, I cannot let Freud win.

Hans Beckert (M): Okay, this is going to be controversial putting the child murderer so high up on the list, but consider this. He is so pathetic when he gets thrown down the stairs that I just can’t not fuck him. I’m also willing to look past that besides murder he also probably did other things too (yeah that’s a bit harder to get past eugh…). The murder I’m fine with tho. I’m very often locked in a train car with screaming children and I mean that would make anyone start whistling the tune of Edvard Grieg’s In the Hall of the Mountain King. My dick could fix him, but if he wants to murder a child every now and then. I’m all for it.

Redakteur Stix (Die Koffer des Herrn O.F.): This man fucks. And I do mean HE fucks. Polo and Louis wish they were like Stix. He goes into A tier for terrorizing a whole town, getting laid, and getting the girl. Would you like to get the boy as well, hun~?

The General (Secret Agent): This look is absolute horrid… I fucking love it. For someone who is known to be a mustache lover I don’t ever want to see Peter with one. (I’m the one who wears the mustaches in this relationship.) This is an exception tho. It’s a gay disaster look. It’s so bad it’s hot. Extra points for the earring. (The ending to that movie was absolute bullshit tho. General your gun!!)

Prof. Sturm (Nancy Steele Is Missing!): I love it when he is a manipulative little bastard. Also he could have gotten away with it if it weren’t for someone having morals and loving his stolen adoptive child. Absolutely disgusting. The mustache and the glasses combo are acceptable (even if he looks like one of my high school teachers).

M’sieu Pig (Strange Cargo): The other incel. I’m docking points, because for most of the movie I had to watch Clark Gable be a misogynist and I already hate him. All this just to eyeball Peter Lorre… Anyway I would make that piggy squeal. A tier, but only because he shows off a bit of chest hair.

Fenninger (You’ll Find Out): Not particularly fond of this look. I like it better when his hair is a bit messy. Is one third of an evil gay polycule, so points to that. And also the long cig holder. Very gay, hun. And who can forget the og teeth. Would still drag my tongue across those chompers I don’t care what anyone says. (Mainly, because I also have similar fucked up looking messy teeth.)

Signor Ugarte (Casablanca): I’m putting him only in A tier, because he killed nazis at the start of the movie and is a desperate little homo, which is a trait I very much relate to. But Bogart… really… honey you could do so much better. Seriously y’all look me in the eye and tell me that Bogart is hot, when he plays these asshole characters. I’ll wait. Besides I’m right here. I’m ready to top you babe.

Marius (Passage To Marseilles): Love a man who is honest and proud of his professional achievements. And is very much good with his hands hello~ Dies (seriously why???) while fighting nazis. A bit of a scraggly look, but I love it. I also had to look up pics for this and turtlenecks make any man look slutty… and sir… your tits!! I need to feel them through the fabric~ Or just in general~

Dr. Einstein (Arsenic and Old Lace): He is a cute pathetic little meow meow. I want to (the following sentence had to be censored due to violating the Hays code). I am putting him only in A tier, because he is too popular, but I feel like that’s a personal bias.

Johannes Koenig (Hotel Berlin): Again a nice scraggly look. I love it~ He does get his shit together by the end and that’s good, but I wish he’d kept the five o’clock.

Contreras (Confidential Agent): I love a man who hates his job. So relatable. He does a big no no with being a sellout to the fascists, but he gets his just desserts and surprising doesn’t die from a gun, but a heart attack (and they pull a Weekend at Bernie’s with his corpse later on). He is really pathetic and I cannot control myself.

Johnny West (Three Strangers): //heavy breathing// I want him!! Finally a romantic role!! Babygirl yes!! I know you could do it!! If only you also took the money!!!!!!!!! For that last one he goes into A tier and not higher.

Gino (The Chase): Show off more of that chest hair, slut!! I would also not let this man drive (not that I can either). Besides babes the backseat has more space~

Nick (Quicksand): Blackmailing is fun when it’s not happening to you~ Also if we get together I could probably play the games for free. That’s a plus.

Paynter (Double Confession): This man was so desperate for approval. And y’all cannot tell me that he and Charlie weren’t a bit more than friends. Oh a man saves you and now you would do murders for him (except he’s a loser and is not okay with murder). Babe ditch him I would let you kill people for me. I’m not a pussy.

Dr. Karl Rothe/Dr. Karl Neumeister (The Lost One): Babygirl you have some deep rooted psychological issues that you should get checked out. Still, here’s my number. Call me, when you feel like choking me out, but not in a killing way. (Or maybe in a killing way, depends on how I feel.)

Colonel John Miguel Orlando Arragas (Congo Crossing): The straights looked at each other once and immediately kissed, so that set the tone for me. Anyway he is a cop, but he does do the right thing at the end, but still a cop. The uniform is nice. Doesn’t like his job much, so that’s kind of sexy. Eh, you know, what A tier. He is the exception. (I do hope he doesn’t expect me to say his entire name while I’m d(HAYS CODE) him down and making him swallow my (HAYS CODE).)

Nero (The Story of Mankind): Listen, I have some kinks… if you read my writings you know… I’m also drawn to a man with power, and money, and insanity. (I’m also really glad he didn’t have the chin beard like the real Nero, because that’s a deal breaker.)

Smiley (Scent of Mystery): Absolutely disappointed that this movie didn’t have a Dora the Explorer segment where the characters turn to the screen and ask the viewer if they can guess the mystery scent. Anyway hot. I love a man who knows how to be crafty regarding his job. Cheating, stealing, lying, all traits that make a honest Hungarian. Even stole someone’s wife just for the heck of it. Oh, honey~ Only A tier, because I can’t see this relationship going further than some fun in the backseat, but that’s probably enough.

Comm. Lucius Emery (Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea): He has a pet shark and wears a uniform. I’m already undoing my belt. This movie was… mmm… not good tho.

Dr. Adolphus Bedlo (The Raven): He is an abusive drunk parent. But he is so wet and pathetic. Frued won, I really am just gonna get together with someone who is like my dad (the real one not Béla).

Mr. Strangdour (Muscle Beach Party): He is the strongest man alive and yet I, his silly little kitten get to top him. My only problem with him is that I cannot for the life of me remember his name for some reason so I guess he just gotta deal with being called Sourdough and Stroganoff for the rest of his life. My concern is that his stupid kid is gonna walk in one day and go “Oh, you guys are wrestling, who’s winning? 8D” and I don’t want to deal with that.

Abbott (The Man Who Knew Too Much): He is evil, he is cunning, he has a neat little hair stripe just like me! Would also kill a child, which I personally don’t think is a terrible trait (as we saw earlier). Absolute snack! Baby I’ll be your dragon, I’ll be your right hand arm-man, your silly little homo eye candy!

Dr. Gogol (Mad Love): My favorite incel!! I wanna crack his bald head open with my canines like a hardboiled egg, call him a pathetic loser, and pin him against a wall and tongue him down! But seriously the man is the equivalent of a Reddit user, he has money tho, and if I could be his kept man, I wouldn’t mind.

Colonel Gimpy/Baron Rudolph Maximillian Tagger (Crack-Up): That scene where the plane is crashed into the ocean and his hair is wet and he looks up straight into the camera… //fans self// H-hewwo… daddy… sorry… daddy… sorry… Yeah, top tier. No question.

János ‘Johnny’ Szabó (The Face Behind The Mask): I refuse to use anything, but the correct Hungarian spelling, fuck you Hollywood. Kinda meh about him before the accident, way too happy and optimistic for my liking. I like a man who is bitter and ready to kill. Also something about masks just gives people a certain allure. Gets extra points for being the only Hungarian character Peter ever played and judging from the letter he writes back home, Johnny actually knows the language haha. I wouldn’t have to translate him my stupid memes, we could just switch back and forth. Domestic bliss.

Dr. Arthur Lorencz (The Boogie Man Will Get You): Top fucking tier! The most guy ever! He is a politician, he sells snake oil, he is a doctor, and also the town sheriff, cat lover, gay! Is there something this man can’t do! Love him!

Fritz Bercovy (The Constant Nymph): I know that in the book the character is supposed to be a very antisemitic caricature, but I think it was rewritten in the movie. Also I tried multiple times to check how old Toni is, but I only kept finding it for Tessa, so I’mma just gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and say that Fritz is not a groomer, unlike Lewis. With all that out of the way, I have a confessions to make. This character sent me over the edge and I did a Peter Lorre expy in my novel. I am weak. I saw him in the fur with the cane (and the whole club was looking at her) and… he really be doing boyfriend cosplay with one of my main characters. Also he has money and is willing to spend it on his SO, so… //twirls hair// I’d love to be a kept man~

Cornelius Leyden (The Mask of Dimitrios): This man was put on this wretched Earth to wear bowties and by Lucifer he makes them look good. Also he has little gray hairs on the side. And glasses!!! //heavy breathing// I need to make him scream my name all through the night!

Peter Lorre (Hollywood Canteen): That’s just my mans! That’s just my guy! That’s just my husband! My sweet cheese! My rotten soldier! My good time BOI! How could I not put him at the top? (Disclaimer: The only one topping that man is me ayyyy)

Marko (Black Angel): This man really cannot sit normally, huh. Anyway, he was hot, fruity, and a loving father. And the movie wasn’t bad either. I was actually rooting for the straights in this one.

Victor Emmric (The Verdict): Oh, he is husband material. He is a morbid little bastard, and is also romantic. A bit on the drunk side, but I don’t care. He’s hot. Would love to do art trades with him.

Kismet (My Favourite Brunette): This man is MY favourite brunette. My nasty boyfriend who holds me at knife point and spits in my mouth and calls me his bitch~ (Is that a knife in your pocket or are you just happy to see me~) I would also help this man get his citizenship.

Peter Lorre (Meet Me in Las Vegas): People who say that they are only into him when he is young and slim are weak as fuck. Oh, so just because this man is old and fat and his biological clock is not ticking anymore you don’t wanna try and get him preganant anymore??? Move over!! I’ll give this man evil milk (read: cum).

Commissioner Lamoret (Hell Ship Mutiny): I love a man who absolutely hates his job and just wants an easy life and is also willing to murder a child for it. We have so much in common~ And with my help, we would have gotten away with it. We’d be spending retirement in Bora Bora, baybeh.

Felix Gillie (The Comedy of Terrors): You see that man? That man, is my husband. We are married. He supports me and I support him. I would lie in the coffin that he made for me. I know that most peeps fall for him in Arsenic, well I’m different. I have the Father Issues and I want stability and I feel like Felix would give that to me.

Morgan Heywood (The Patsy): He was suffering, I was suffering, there was a collective suffering with this movie. Our meet-cute is me absolutely going feral and killing Jerry Lewis right in front of him. Our eyes lock as I’m covered in blood and the cops take me away. He falls in love with me right then and there. Conjugal visits right until the end of my life sentence.

Okay, y'all can go now~

[faeryblade]

Personal Lore: Alice Hart, She/They, 35. I'm a weird-o creature who mostly exists underneath the cover of moonlight. I live in Southern California. Just a mix of disabilities hiding inside a trenchcoat. My favorite color is: blue. I love collecting tea leaves, tea pots, and tea cups. Interested in crystals and tarot cards. Astrology is also a hobby. Staying up past 3 am listening to my playlist. Half here, half somewhere else. Lightning storms, thunder, and rain make me happy.

I'm a Pisces sun, Sagittarius moon, Libra rising. Year of the Earth Snake. INFJ.

About my Writing: I mostly write romance, isekai fantasy, dark psychological, and yandere stories. I'm always putting my blorbos in scenarios. I love xReader fics and self-indulgent prose. Be cringe and be free, right? I've written for OUAT, TVD/TO and I'm currently down bad for Jonathan Crane in the DC/CodotVerse.

Writing is therapy for me.

Some of my stories will be NSFW so please don't add me or interact if you're a minor. I also tend to write heavy angst, whump, and non-con. But will sometimes throw in some comfort fluff just for a change of pace.

This blog will host a variety of original works and fanfiction. Or whatever requests I get in my asks.

Works In progress:

💙 [[Please, don't tell my psychiatrist!]]

Yandere!Jonathan Crane x Female!Metahuman!Reader.

Synopsis: Dr. Jonathan Crane is a professional in the realms of fear. Not much gets under his skin. That is, until he meets you...

Status: Actively being written, will probably be my main focus for awhile.

Extra Information: Based on a mix of the movies, games, and the CodotVerse. Yandere themes, 18+. Dark fic, smut. Reader is a mess, Jonny is obsessed. A gritty romp through Gotham.

💙 [[A Menagerie of One-Shots]]

Synopsis: Collection of bits and baubles.

Status: Open

Extra Information: Flexible in themes, receptive to your suggestions. Can do 18+, smut or fluffy comfort scenes. Prefer fantasy, romance, or any kind of yandere fic. Give me a challenge~

Other Details:

💙 Ask box open for requests!

💙 Please let me know if you'd like to be on the taglist. Include me in all your ask or tag games.

💙 Shoot me a DM if you want, I love talking about the scenarios and putting our blorbos in them.

💙 Would love to make some mutuals so we can hype each other up.

*divider made by @pfparchive

[spu10d]

“Night on the Galactic Railroad” ichihona

i read the novel and watched the movie recently so random thoughts below

(spoilers for NotGR too!)

OK SO uhm the way i initially delved into this was because i suddenly remembered someone online mention (VERY OFFHANDEDLY). that leo/needs trained set from ‘Live with Memories’ was based off of ‘Night on the Galactic Railroad’.

(^ so this set)

merged with this movie poster (for the film adaption where theyre all cats).

Ramblings…

of course this leads me to read the plot in its wikipedia page and. immediately find ways to apply it to my blorbos. (at this point i wasnt even sure if i remembered the book right/if this was even the right book… and im still unsure but whatever…) (im also bad at Media Literacy).

so i settled on ichihona to be giovanni and campanella. around middle school aged.

but at first, i had it in my mind that ichika -> campanella, and honami -> giovanni.

mostly because campanella drowned rushing in to save zaneli after he fell in the river, something i just felt was very Young Ichika… the impulsiveness, no hesitance to help another…

and that Young Ichika is someone honami wanted to be like. so giovanni being like Scorpio, wishing for a chance to spread happiness for the sake of others (like ichika)…

but i think ‘ichika being campanella and honami being giovanni’ didnt fit as well because giovanni was the one seen to be alone, while campanella was surrounded by friends and did nothing when they teased giovanni.

so once i swapped them around (ichika being giovanni, honami being campanella), i started having more ideas and… interpretations??

ok first off. campanella is likened to scorpio, wanting to (and unlike scorpio, somewhat achieving) ‘save others’ and ‘spreading happiness’. which i think tied nicely to what honami does in middle school, trying to be there for everyone, be an ear to talk/vent to and generally trying to help others.

ALSO GUESS WHOS A SCORPIO (honami)

meanwhile while giovanni and campanella are friends, campanella doesnt really do anything while hes teased by his classmates, just looking back with sympathy. something about how honami sort of… ‘chose’ (ok, was sort of ‘bullied/threatened’ into choosing) her classmates over ichika.

also i like the scene at the very end of the book, where giovanni stands on the riverbank after hearing the news of campanella’s disappearance/death. he looks to the distance while everyone wonders where campanella went, thinking “i know where he went. he went to the edge of the universe. i know, because we went there together.”

im just thinking that while (giovanni/ichika) thinks that, the galaxy can be seen, yes, but also the moon (its like… ~7pm? around the end of summer so its plausible the moon could be low enough to just be seen over the river), with like, honami (in that sorta transparent where theyre not actually there thing), back turned. yknow, since ‘mochizuki’ has the character for moon.

ALSO THE HORRIBLE SAD IRONY OF CAMPANELLA DROWNING, AND HONAMI’S SPECIALTY BEING SWIMMING…

the whole ‘praying like scorpio to serve others in the next life’ thing is. uoorhg. i feel like something can be said about how honami was always helping others, but no one really knew how it was… like? to be like honami, with her selfishness and fear of being bullied, cast out, left behind… etc…

the wikipedia pointed out that a sort of ‘focus’ in the story was about “giving your life in service for others” and uoroogh. are you getting me… (it can work both ways i think, honami and ichika).

also campanella mentioned liking apples once (1 time) and of course like the loser i am i locked in like HONAMI! hes also knowledgable about flowers which is also partially why i initially saw him as ichika

also with giovanni, how hes left alone in the end.

(which while it fits ichika, now im thinking of a scenario where its saki as giovanni… i dont think itll work out as well as ichika though)

i might add more to these ramblings… these are just my initial word dumps.