#there’s a huge pile of fucking delicious chocolate orange cookies I made last night on the counter and I don’t want one
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This is a post about food and my relationship to it (or will be in the tags bc my brain is a secret) so I highly recommend those that might get triggered to Sit This One Out, Folks
#I’ve been literally unable to control my eating recently which is. hmmm.#I’m going to have to start making single portion meals again because I can’t have meal food lying around#weirdly this is not true of cake or cookies#there’s a huge pile of fucking delicious chocolate orange cookies I made last night on the counter and I don’t want one#though I did eat like 5 last night when they were fresh out the oven bc fresh cookies#not the point#it’s very interesting#I have had this problem before but I genuinely don’t remember how I fixed it#it is possible that it’s been brought on by stress#but also possible that it’s been brought on by restricting#which is irritating because I didn’t even notice myself falling into a restrictive mindset till I noticed that I’m staying in bed for ages#and I’m doing that specifically to give myself an excuse to miss breakfast#i think I spent too much time with my family last month all they fucking do is talk about their weight#I’m back in the ‘must be small’ mindset#which is partially breakup enhanced#but is ultimately fucking stupid#my 6’2 dad is proud that he was 9 stone nothing when he married my mum at 30#and always really resentful that he isn’t anymore#and that’s fucked bay beeeeeee
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