#there will come a day where I tire of the rainbow gold foil | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

uterusclub · 6 years ago

Text

I think it goes without saying that Sharon and I were well-aware of the infamous town of Alton, IL for quite some time due to our extended ghost-hunting research. The only detail daunting us from execution was the 5 hour drive down state. It wasn’t until Ghost Adventures recently released a few episodes investigating the spooked town that our fire was fueled! The itinerary was, shortly thereafter, drawn up (thanks to Sharon) with inclusions of Saint Louis, Missouri as well.

Our journey jump-started at a departure of 7:30 a.m. With freshly burned CDs in tow for music accompaniment, we headed out the door with much excitement. First stop – Grafton, Illinois to check in early to our hotel, Ruebel Hotel where we had prebooked an allegedly haunted room #11. Driving into the small town, we noted but dismissed several ‘road closed’ signs as they had no effect on our commute to the hotel. Upon speaking with Moe at the front desk, we were informed that our check-in was actually scheduled for the night before and that our reservation was for 2 nights? Whoops! This conversation had taken place a few weeks earlier as I recall trying to verify this detail with Sharon who assured me we were only staying for 1 (she later redacted and apologized for miss-remembering). In any case, we checked out our room very briefing concluding it didn’t ‘feel’ haunted before heading back out to soothe our aching bellies. Next stop? Grafton Harbor for food and drinks!

On the way to the car Sharon scoffed at her GPS. “This wants us to go all the way around which is 18 minutes, but it’s a 7 minute walk!” We prepared to depart but happened to look back at a ‘road closed’ sign which now made sense. It was then that we noticed the backdrop to our hotel – high waters submerging the streets below it. “Guess that’s why it’s telling me to go this other way” Sharon concluded. Leaving with minimal annoyance, we made our way to a flooded roadway of unpredictable depth. Sharon reluctantly backed the car up to return back the way we came, only to notice several cars behind us. “Wait, wait, wait, let’s see what they’re going to do” she said. So we sat and waited as one ballsy car at a time drove through the wading tides to the other side. We watched in awe and terror. And while tempting, decided in the end, it wasn’t worth it. The panic, that is. So no food.

Venturing forward with a slight chip on our shoulders, we skipped to our next scheduled stop: Piasa Bird. As Sharon drove along the shoreline we continued our perfect view of the high waters. We also noted several barriers stating ‘road closed – local traffic only’ which Sharon concluded didn’t apply to us for some reason. Bi-passing without a thought, we continued our journey hoping upon hope that there was indeed an end in sight as there was really no way of turning back on this one-way road. As we anti-climatically reached the Piasa Bird and climbed out of the car, our enthusiasm dwindled as we both half-heartedly took turns reading the backstory to it. I can’t even recall it now (and this occurred yesterday) so clearly, it was too much detail for my a.d.d. brain or just uninteresting. You decide. A couple photos later, we jumped back into the car and headed to the downtown area of Alton, Illinois!

Next stop? My Just Desserts! The thing is, we hadn’t even had what I refer to as ‘normal’ food yet so by the time we got to this little town and found the joint, I didn’t care much for pie or baked goods. I’ll also blame my questionable stomach but we ended up splitting a spinach, bacon, and chicken salad with an amazing poppyseed vinaigrette that Sharon ended up purchasing. Having fed the hunger demons, our demeanors quickly simmered. The majority of our ‘activities’ for the town were based around the local shopping area. We visiting the Mineral Springs Antique Mall where we saw some gorgeous ceiling-lined umbrellas and had far too much fun in the Historic Museum of Torture Devices! Several random shops later, Sharon had a Doodle Bear ($1.50) and I, an awesome corduroy hippie dress (definitely not $1.50). Shopper high complete, we now made our way to Elijah P. Lovejoy Monument or what I’ll refer to as, ‘pretty cemetery’ for all intent and purposes.

Cemeteries. You’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all and if you’re Sharon, they’re all ‘pretty’ so there’s really not much to say about the stop. Literally. We can move along now. To St. Louis, specifically.

Now my only recollection of St. Louis, Missouri was occasionally visiting childhood friends of my family ‘back in the day.’ That and it being hot as balls during the summertime. Outside of that, nada. First and most regrettable stop – Gateway Arch. So I guess it’s a thing now that you can ‘ride’ inside an elevator to the top? Sounded cool. SOUNDED. Foreshadow much? Anyway, after a confusing debacle over the ‘parking’ situation ie. being in a ghetto ally and asking a random ‘officer’ looking dude for assistance, we parked in a nearby garage and walked over to the grassy grove encompassing the Arch. I wont knock the splendor of the shining sight and absorbing all the un-obnoxious people enjoying themselves around us, however, I WILL take a few jabs at our attempts at finding the goddamn entrance to the illusive ‘ride.’ There was no ‘pot of gold’ at the end of either rainbow for these unlucky leprechauns. It wasn’t until we actually FOLLOWED the random arrows painted on the ground that we discovered an underground mound. Victoriously entering the ticket line, I glanced at the pricing monitor: ‘Trams sold out for the day.’ Mother****! ALL that effort. Though I will add that we mysteriously ended up departing our parking garage without paying which I can only assume was karma’s apology to us.

So now what? BOOZE. Much much deserved BOOZE. A quick ride took us to Brick River Cider where we were greeted immediately and provided with an oratory comparison of all draft ciders. Sharon and I settled on different, favorable choices which resulted in a growler and 6-pack for the homefront. With inebriation healing past wounds, we moved ahead to the City Museum of St. Louis. Sharon had briefed me on this but I couldn’t recall much – save for it looking interesting.

Upon arriving to the City Museum of St. Louis and parking across the street, you could see a whole, structural display on the very top of the building which we hoped would be open for the season (it wasn’t). You could also see and hear the shrills of lots and lots of children playing outside on the interactive displays. Normally this would put me off but the booze had muted the sounds and annoyance for the moment. I suppose I should take this time to mention Sharon’s wardrobe change from a dress into a different dress with pants for what she claimed was ‘comfort’ purposes. Entering this playground from hell, I can only describe it as a poor man’s attempt at a children’s Meow Wolf inside the locker room of a YMCA. Between the chaotic amount of children, the dingy apparatuses and the confusing layout (which was suppose to be a ‘schtick’ of exploration’), sobriety became king. I’d like to also point out that the main form of ‘travel’ was through slides and tunnels – the likes of which were most inconvenient for probably the only individual at this place wearing a dress! Still, I attempted to ‘play nice’ and took a turn on a ‘slide’ which I’m fairly sure, resulted in me flashing one very happy man (he owes me at lease $5 for that). Fixated on annoyance, we didn’t last long and decided our only salvation now was food.

We chose to eat at Square One Brewery & Distillery solely based on my pre-researched discovered of them having a goat-cheese artichoke dip appetizer which was the best part of the entire meal. My salmon with potatoes and broccoli was beyond basic (shame on you) and Sharon’s ‘barbecue’ pork sandwich tasted of funky, spiced ketchup (I still can’t believe she ate as much of it as she did after trying it myself). The only saving grace to this most egregious meal was our next stop down the street – Bailey’s Chocolate Bar. Surely, no wrong can come of chocolate!

This cute little bar was situated atop an escalating stairway into a dim, intimate dining area. The menu consisted of ice cream booze drinks, booze drinks, or desserts. Both deciding upon ice creamed, booze martinis, we partook in some mini, complimentary chocolate chip cookies which were divine! Drinks were strong AND delicious. I’ve actually never heard Sharon confess something to be ‘dangerous’ so many times.

Feeling much better after chocolate intoxication, the only thing left now was to continue boozing for the remainder of the evening! We headed over to W Karaoke Lounge which I had previously researched and observed a super cool looking ‘performance’ floor that lit up beneath the performers. We stayed just long enough for me to get one rendition of ‘Just a Girl’ in and finished up one drink before moving along to the next booze endeavor.

Thaxton Speakeasy. Another place I had previously researched which looked super cool inside. We arrived a few minutes after the place ‘opened’ and were met by an older gentleman outside the door advising us that the place was closed for a private party. Goddamnit! Foiled again! Guess we didn’t need that drink. Onto the next!

Our last stop for the night was at The Monocle & The Emerald Room where we had purchased tickets to a see a Burlesque show a few ladies I knew were in. We sat, drank and bided our time for an hour and a half – despite the show time scheduled for 10pm. Once 10:30pm hit and the performances began, we knew we wouldn’t last long. Sharon’s mentality drastically switch from ‘if your friends are in the second half, we have to stay’ to ‘yeah, I’m sorry, no, if they’re not on the first half, too bad, I’m tired.’ We were glad to stand in line next to a super buzzed, hilariously friendly gentleman who had absolutely no filter. The theater gods granted us the delight of seeing my wonderful friends during the first half of the show after which we immediately took our exit for the long journey (hour) back to our hotel in Grafton, Illinois.

Suffice it to say, we were absolutely exhausted by the time we got back to the hotel. Ironically, I had a difficult time falling asleep after falsely identifying paranormal activity of my toiletries. My heart was literally in my throat for quite some time. I could hear Sharon had no problem getting to sleep. At some point, tossing and turning throughout the night, I caught some portion of sleep and roused at the usual, ungodly hour of 7am Tired still but forcing the will to journey for more immediate comfort at home, we showered, packed and departed in optimal time. Discovering no roadside coffee availability nearby, save gas station coffee, we waiting patiently (2 hours) for the reward of Dunkin Donuts. I took the reigns for the rest of the drive home and played road tag with a Kia whom I’m not sure when I divulged from. I can only hope that some day – definitely not today – definitely not tomorrow but in the very, very distant future, we may meet again in St. Louis.

Meet Me In St. Louis Or Rather, Don’t I think it goes without saying that Sharon and I were well-aware of the infamous town of Alton, IL for quite some time due to our extended ghost-hunting research.

0 notes