#there was just such an outpouring of kindness and i couldn’t keep up

[auragasmics]

onlyfans creator!toji meeting fan!reader but getting so drunk off of them that he keeps bringing them back & eventually only makes vids with them… *heh*

CAMERA ROLL LOOKIN’ LIKE ONLY FANS!

synopsis! he knows better than to get involved with fans. But upon meeting you, Toji’s found himself in a world where he can only have you—and you alone.

pairings! fan!fem!reader x onlyfans creator!toji fushiguro

cw!3.5k words, pwp, dubcon(?), consensual filming, pussydrunk!toji, doggy style, mean!toji, cunninlingus

mwuahaha, i loved this thirst sm! i couldn’t stop thinking about it!

have a thirsty thought? read my guidelines and start sending them in!

In truth, Toji knew better. While unspoken and better left assumed, it’s still the number one rule amongst fans and creators alike.

The golden rule of never, ever hooking up with a fan. Toji’s all too aware of this, but he’s no saint to abide by the rules. It didn’t help that it was all his friends were recently raving about, claiming that it would boost views—and sales for those with even the slightest glimmer of naive hope in their eyes. 

And when a thought replays like a broken record, it’s only a matter of time before one succumbs to incessant influence—and Toji’s no better. He had it figured out; announce his little plan to all his cock-hungry fans, run their users through an online random generator, and whoever’s name pops up on his screen is his lucky vixen for the night.

But the generator just had to pick you. 

He was blind—or better yet, naive, to the possibilities that could arise from his little adventure with danger. It never crosses his mind that maybe he’d regret the choice of taking down a fan—or maybe he’d fall in love with the idea and add it to his usual lineup. 

But that didn’t stop him from sending you that message and bringing you into his humble abode of a high-rise apartment. That didn’t stop him from fawning over your pretty face and kind attitude, as if you both had forgotten what was to follow through the night.

He was simply so blind to it all that Toji had written off the slim chance of him getting addicted to you.

Until he was. 

Why the memory of Toji slipping just the tip of his cock inside you still lays fresh on his mind and vigorous to his nerves. He remembers how cocky he was, thinking that he’d be the best you ever had, how no one could ever come close to how he imagined fucking you.

But the gummy halo of your cunt enveloped his blushing pink head with a sopping wet kiss, condemning the poor forsaken man down the path of egotistical demise. 

Toji, the Toji Fushiguro was victim to a state that he’d never ventured into before; suddenly his mind was shot blank, his eyes threatening to rest into the dark abyss of his skull and the brawny chest he worked so hard for was rigged with shuddering breaths. 

Within a matter of minutes, Toji was out of his body, out of control, and without a single means of putting up a fight. 

If your pussy claimed his resolve, your body claimed his soul. Every arch, squirm, and jolt gave way to Toji’s heart. He’d even found a serenade within your outpouring moans, every hymn motivating him to his newly found goal. For in that moment, the unmoved Toji was concerned with something he never allowed to faze him—his ability to please.

Toji knew one thing; he utterly had to please you, to bring your mind, body, and spirit to the sheer face of ecstasy. He was always so sure of himself thanks to his past of collaborations, but not a single woman of his past could compare to you. Because, unlike those past collaborations for work purposes, everything that night was genuine. 

The way you whimpered whenever he leaned over for a kiss was real, how your hands clung to every inch of his misted skin was bonded behind the truth, down to the orgasm he had no choice but to sit through because of the suffocating clench your walls bestowed around him. 

The last thing he remembers from that night is the words he drunkenly allowed to fall from his lips, almost begging you to come back. When waking the next morning and found you gone, Toji realised he had to work to earn both you and your trust. 

From that day on, something in Toji has him running ragged on your behalf. All of a sudden, he’s caught up with buying you lingerie he can’t wait to rip off of you, he’s sitting through hours of research to buy the best camera to catch every single moment of filth amidst you two. Why, he’s even gotten into the habit of calling you every morning and every night just to give you a glimpse of the real him. 

A month’s swept by since that momentous night, and within those four weeks—Toji’s reserved at least fifteen of those nights just for you and him. Just this week alone, he “needed” you twice, and tonight would make it thrice.

The third time of making you cum off his tongue alone before he had the privilege of fucking you raw beneath the starry sky. And each time he does indulge in you, he can’t silence the raging urge to leave your pussy plump and dribbling with his thick white cum. 

But he holds back, it’s already an honor to have you raw and he’d hate for something as minuscule as natural instinct to ruin a good thing.

Though it’s that same natural instinct that had him calling you just under two hours ago—and waiting by the door like a new puppy waiting for its owner to return. His friends call him pussywhipped, so immersed in you these days that it’s all he talks about, his newest tease with a pussy that gets so sloppy for him.

Toji could fight back, but he isn’t one to play delusional. Pussy-whipped, that’s exactly who he is and who he’s become. And somewhere deep, deep down in his subconscious, he’s found satisfaction in that. Just a puppy with a—

“Toji! It’s me!”

The pretty croon of your muffled voice has Toji springing off the black leather couch and onto his feet. He looks down at himself—nothing could be more apparent than opening the door and revealing him to wear nothing but black sweatpants.

It’s too late to apply any effort, Toji thought as he twisted the door handle open, yanking the door to greet you.

“Hey Gorgeous, come in,” he hums, his arm racing to lace around the waist of your black leggings. “Hope you didn’t wait too long~maybe I should give you a key soon…”

Returning his regards, You give in to Toji with a swift embrace, linking around his bare waist. “No, I didn’t wait at all. It was like you were waiting—”

“I see you didn’t bring a bag. Why don’t you stay the night…you never do,” Toji interjects as he leans back to close the door. His eyes fall matched to your own, wide and glimmering but afraid to step any further than what’s been established.

Your shoulders give into a heartless shrug, your chin whipping away from his sight as you utter plainly to Toji.

“Oh, I didn’t think you wanted me to, and I honestly don’t care to sleep over either. But I guess if there’s a next time, I will.” 

That’s something you really shouldn’t have said. Toji can’t pinpoint where it hurts, but he knows it does. If there’s a next time? Didn’t his constant calls, random splurge days, and his mere insisting presence give way to his budding sentiments—there’s always going to be a next time. 

“C’mon, don’t be like that! I know it takes a lot of effort to leave afterwards. And you don’t even kiss me goodbye…so cold…but I like it.”

You know the strategy by know as his hands work to court your body to his touch. He’s dangerously close to the thick globes of your ass, the tips of his fingers delicately tracing the outline of your thong. 

Toji’s smooth, that’s exactly why you followed him in the first place, and it’s what got you laid beneath him that first night all the same. Like the best charades, his suave whims soon grew weary and transparent, but it’s his confidence that keeps you around. 

And just how easy it is to tease him. 

Taking a finger to Toji’s chest, you decide to spur him on, to paint an image of what lies just beneath your attire. “I’m wearing the set we got last week…in case you’re wondering.”

His once heavy eyelids shoot wide apart, forcing Toji to dumb gawk at you. “The…red one with the…cutouts?”

“Mhm,” you nod coyly, “But the thong is just so thin and so easy to rip too. Guess the quality wasn’t all that good.”

Toji darts his eyes over your face, his sly azure hues taking in your faux act of innocence. He knows it’s all just to tease him, but with the slightest chance that some kind of truth stands behind your words, he can’t forfeit his chances of making an advance. 

“Okay, then let’s make a deal. Stay over tonight and tomorrow, we‘ll go out and buy the best lingerie that money can buy. How’s that?”

A sheepish scoff rings from your barred lips as you stroll away from Toji, leaving him to stare at your wading presence. “Let me think about it.”

“Oh, but you won’t have time to think…not after I’m done with you,” he adds with haste behind you. 

Your hand settles upon the cold silver door knob of Toji’s bedroom, revealing the sacred altar within a mere glance. Not much has changed since the first night he brought you over—a king size bed that stands in the room’s centre, tall windows with black curtains, a desk in the corner with a computer, and of course, a shelf against the wall that holds Toji’s vast array of sex toys, photos and even a few awards he’s won from the platform.

But as the days passed, the raunchy nature of his bedroom died out when small potted plants replaced the sex toys and trophies. The thick black curtains were traded for white gossamer, and the typical red blanket set was nowhere to be seen in the face of red silk sheets and pillowcases to match. 

It’s a heavy claim to say that you’ve played a hand in his transformation, however, considering that you told Toji how nursing plants are a hobby of yours, you prefer more natural light to enter rooms, and that sleeping on silk simply has its benefits—one could safely make that assumption.

All your observations fall short the moment you sit on the edge of the bed, the mattress graciously dipping beneath your curves. 

“Yeah, yeah, so what do you have planned for tonight?” 

Toji takes his time to reply, setting his heavy hands to brace the waistband of his black sweatpants as he stands before you. “Oh I was thinking maybe some POV shots, I haven’t done those in a long time. Think I should bring them back more often now.”

Musing him, you tilt your head at Toji, a faded smile playing on your lips. “Is that right?

“You know the deal. I’m not gonna start recording until you say so. Why, maybe tonight we don’t even have to get it on film. Can’t we just…fuck around and see where that gets us?”

“That’s a new attitude, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, honest!” Toji flusteredly fumbles out. He didn’t think he’d have to explain it, but some words are better said than just acted upon. And what’s on his chest is heavier than what gravity supplies Mother Earth.

He’s been given the slim window to confess what he wants from you, a question you’ve plagued him with since the second night he called you over. 

He sends a hand to the nape of his neck, mindlessly pinching at the sparse hairs as his frazzled brian searches for the best words to explain his story. “ I just…really like having you to myself. A lot, actually. And it has me thinking…would you be open to being my…partner? C-Content wise, of course.”

“Oh…sure, we can do that! I thought you were gonna–oh!”

The brash clash of Toji’s lips steals the very words from your mouth and pins you underneath him. He more than happily donning the lead of setting the rhythm, painting his kiss against your lips as tenderly as he can. 

Just like that, Toji’s gotten his burning wish within a matter of seconds—and what’s a better way to celebrate than by making his favorite girl cum all throughout the night?

The excitement has Toji running on salacious fumes, his eager hands surging across your body. First he’s tugging off your brown hoodie, pulling the soft knitted cotton over your head on and off onto the floor.

Your leggings follow swiftly behind that, and before Toji can even breathe, he’s got you pinned under him with the lingerie you’ve hinted at earlier with his sweats and briefs joining the array of discarded clothes.

The very set he plucked out just days before with the lacy red bra that barely leaves anything to imagination. He’s already inclined on tending to your pebbling nipples plowing against the fabric. He’s drawn right back to your lips, using his wandering hands to trek across your physique. 

Upon his travels, Toji brushes against the panties you mentioned before, so frail that he could tug on them right now and free you from their rein. Rather, he relies on a mere pinch to inch the seam of your panties to sit within the plushy crease of your thigh. 

“Mm, Toji?” you huff out between a kiss, “Let’s start, okay?”

Frantically shaking his head, Toji aimlessly reaches out to prowl along the top of his bedside dresser until he’s met with the familiar structure of his camera. 

Slotting himself between your thighs, Toji points the keen lens to capture the timeless scene of him between your legs with a single hand. Clicking the camera on, Toji’s granted a clear sight of your bare pussy caught within the camera’s eye. 

“ ‘Kay, camera’s on. Don’t you dare change a thing!

He isn't hesitant to begin, leaving you with a final request to hold your legs back before he’s pressing lazy kisses to the supple mounds of your cunt. 

It’s that first breathless gasp of yours that throws Toji down a spiral of his own arousal. He’s already a throbbing mess, dripping all that precum into the silk sheets, but he doesn’t care. Not when his tongue is tasked with the honor of tracing along the pulsing canal of your glossy folds, just for his greedy ambitions pitting him to suck at the swollen pulse.

“Such a pretty pussy, Gorgeous,” he’s mumbling to himself as blown eyes scale up and down the sinful display.

He wants the camera to catch everything—from the way your fat lips split around his worked tongue to the very twitch that rattles your clit. He carefully shadows the camera over your cunt, his thick digits spreading you apart.

“Fuck, look at that, so soft ‘nd smooth…so wet for me too.”

His thumb rests against the cute pink bulb of your clit, the sullied pad sketching slow, tight circles over the bundle of nerves. 

“Mmm-oh shit!…Toj—fuck, that’s so good!”

“That’s it, say my name Baby, c’mon!” He cheers along your twitching bulb. His name’s just sitting on the tip of your weak tongue, so desperate to break through the air. As its bearer, Toji’s waiting to hear it, the magic word set to pull him underneath your spell.

His hand’s encroach along your supple sides, softly squeezing at whatever fits within his grip. “I know that look, gonna cum on my tongue just how I like it, right?”

 “Mhm,” you frantically affirm with nods, “…it’s right…it’s right there, Toji!”

You don’t have to pay him a teary-eyed  glance to know that Toji’s hiding that sinister grin amongst the fat plush of your folds. That same smile that blossoms into a pout as he guides your poor clit to dance with his tongue. 

Every which way, he’s swiveling your spry mound, All those lazy flicks, pedaling that soft curve of his slicked muscle around your stiffening bud. He’s even placed his hand right beneath your navel, using a soft grip to pull the stubborn hood of your clit back, leaving you open and raw for his selfish amusement.

Your hands race to tug at the noir crown of Toji’s head, keeping his head still while your trembling hips rock against his lush pout. “Fuh– yesyesyes! Toji please! Please make me cum, ‘m so close!”

Toji’s too far gone to keep up with you, his trained hand trembling to find a steady frame of the homemade film. Your nectar’s seeping into his senses, blinding Toji from the surrounding world.

All he can think about is you, all he can taste is that sweet essence spilling from his lips and down his chin. It’s all just a mess he's made out of both you and himself, but when he finally catches wind of your crashing orgasm, Toji’s beaming with the glow of achievement.

Your thighs snap around his head as the weight of your high wrecks through your body in perilous tremors. Your hips drive up against Toji’s gape, stuffing his mouth full with your cunt once more. His greedy forte settles over you again, suckling the chubby swell of your clit against his hollowed cheeks. 

Breaking away from your cunt, Toji pans the camera down to your folds, his fingers gently tapping along your pillowy lips. “That’s my girl! Look so pretty like that, c’mon, we gotta keep you going now. Turn around and give me a nice arch, okay?”

You’re more than willing to comply with Toji’s request, slamming your weak legs shut as he rests on his knees. It takes all the energy ebbing from your body to secure a strong arch, one that has your hips tilted and your ass parading about in the air.

“How’s that, Toji?”

“Just beautiful. Stay still and let me do all that hard work, yeah?” he hums softly.

Toji watches as the lens focuses on the sight between your bodies. His hand braces around his shaft, giving his aching cock one firm squeeze before tapping the head of his cock along your slit. 

“I know you can take it, but what do you think?” Toji hints as he gently nudges himself against you.

You look back at Toji with a proud smile, “I can take it!”

“That’s my girl! Just relax and let me…oh..fuck, that’s the good shit!”

By the rushed dip of his hips, Toji’s subdued by the velvety warmth of your walls, the slickened heat coddling his cock with wet kisses. It’s just like he remembers, tight, warm, and carved out to home all the ridges, the veins and the throbbing underside of his length.

“Look at the mess we’re making,” Toji gloats as he shifts the camera around your sputtering pussy, “And I’ve barely even give you those deep strokes you love so much!”

Those very deep strokes that he’s so fond of too. It grants him the very bliss he can’t get with anyone but you. He’s learning all about how sensitive you are, the pace you, how many times you can cum before you’re fucked dumb, all these things Toji’s taken account for.

As for tonight, he just wants you feel good, his precious girl. That’s why he’s so kind to feed your walls short drives of his cock as you adjust to his size. You’re taking him better these days, your pussy greedily nursing all nine inches of Toji’s length.

He’s got such a fat girth too, so thick that you’re left to squirm beneath the burning stretch. It’s pain that gives way to pleasure all too quickly as Toji reels his hips barely a few inches away from you. 

“Aww, tell me, baby…You like this dick, don’t you? Like how it stretches this cunt to my size, how I’m always hitting that spot, go on, tell me.”

“Mmm…it’s alright,” you attempt to tease, but the stillness in the air carries about a warning with no way of guaranteeing caution.

Toji fists the fragile trims of your thong in his hand, yanking the fabric taunt in his grasp. “Oh…that’s how we’re gonna play?”

In one harsh tug, he’s dragging you against his burly thighs with nowhere else to run from the brutal onslaught of his crashing hips. All the kindness he had for you runs out, leaving Toji on a hellbent venture of proving his words true. His unruly drive has you thrashing straight into the pillow headfirst, pitting your limp body to rock along to all his ministrations without prevail. 

 It’s a rolling barrage, one hard drive after the other. The lewd orchestra Toji’s conducting has the clash of skin breaking about the room, using the meld of your voices charred by vengeful bliss as vocals.

But he isn’t lying; even through his rage, Toji’s still tending to you. By sending the thick bulb of his cock to smother your sweet spot in kisses, each one messier than the last, the coil deep within your core bubbles with another budding orgasm. How could something so mean, so harsh, feel so good? So much that your eyes drift back into your head, your and the veil of pleasure dresses your body like the finest silk. 

All just because you jokingly bruised Toji’s ego. Either way, the fact remains that he’s thoroughly aggravated, and his angered spiel falls on deaf ears.

“Stop lying to me!” He grunts out with a smirk, “ W-We both know you do! Why else would your pussy get so messy fr’ me? M-Making such a mess on the bed. ‘M splitting her open and you say you–”

“T-Toji wait! O-Okay, okay, I do! “ Your whimpering admittance of defeat breaks into the air, earning nothing more than the chime of Toji kissing his teeth.

“C’mere,” he huffs out, pulling your limp body up against his own. His chest carves out your arch like a sculpture, leaving no crevice nor crease hidden from his frame. The grip he has upon you shifts above to the slacked curve of your jaw, leaving Toji’s thumb to strum along your bottom lip. 

His hazy stare catches wind of your misty doe eyes, coaxing a lump to build within Toji’s throat. 

As an act of sympathy, litters of kisses melt against your skin, his unruly trail leading him straight to your dribbling lips. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” Toji whispers against your lips, “Y’know I like you, baby. Don’t go being too mean to me or else someone isn’t cumming tonight.”

“O…okay! I’m sorry Toji, ‘m really sorry!” you sob, your hand racing to brace the thick of his forearm.

Your apology chants in his ear like a mantra, coaxing a crooked grin to shine inside the dark room. 

“Now…” Toji giggles, his hazy eyes flickering towards the fixed lens of the camera. “‘m taking a picture for the thumbnail…smile for the camera!”

[merlincmgirl]

Handcuffs - Rex x F!Reader - NSFW

Summary: You had a plan. A plan to welcome your trooper home. And it involved handcuffs.

Characters: Rex, Anakin being a little shit

Pairing: Rex x F!Reader

Word Count: 9,258

Warnings: handcuffs, oral (male receiving), riding, PinV sex, fluff and smut, they're both saps for each other.

Author's Note: I'm really unsure about this one, I hope I captured Rex right, I always find it so difficult to write for him and I have no idea why. That said, I wrote nearly 10k words for him, what am I going to do?

You couldn’t wait any longer. The day had finally arrived. Your trooper was finally on shore leave and was back home with you on Coruscant. Well he would be if the kriffing transport was running on time. There was always a commotion in the hangar, and you were glad to be tucked out of the way of everybody rushing around you completing their work. All you could focus on at the moment was your Captain. You haven’t seen him in nearly 70 rotations. Being General Skywalker’s right hand man had it’s downsides, Rex was always in demand and often accompanied his General in most of his harebrained schemes. You were immensely proud of Rex, but it didn’t stop the worry that coursed through you every time you kissed him goodbye. It would only be relieved when he was back in the safety of your arms.

There was a commotion just up ahead, and you watched as the flight navigation troopers guided the transport ships into the hangar, ready for the men to be offloaded and begin their shore leave. You could feel the excitement reach a crescendo as you were finally going to be able to see Rex again after so long. You wondered if he had changed at all. From the holocalls you were able to receive from him, he appeared just like he normally did, if not exhausted and stressed. You hoped that he remained mostly safe while out on the battlefield.

As soon as the doors of the LAATies opened, there was an outpouring of blue and you struggled to find the distinct jaig eyes amongst all the armour of his brothers. Where was Rex? You hoped he wasn’t still on the cruiser, finishing up work or in meetings with Skywalker.

Just when you were about to comm Rex and ask him where he was or to meet back at your place as soon as he was finished; two strong arms wrapped around your middle and lifted you into the air. You’re spun around, hard plastoid digging into you but you don’t care as you let out a joyful laugh. There was only one person brave enough to greet you in such a way and not fear the repercussions of it. Gently, you’re lowered to the ground and strong hands land on your hips, pulling you towards him. It’s Rex. Of course it’s Rex.

“Hey, I’m so glad you’re here!” you greeted, pulling him into a tight hug and closing your eyes as you take in his scent. It’s a mixture of burnt plasma, smoke and cedar. It shouldn’t smell as good as it does, but well, it’s Rex. He could smell like a battlefield for all you cared, just as long as he was here.

Rex chuckled, returning the hug and holding you to him tightly, unwilling to let you go after his lengthy departure from you. The thought of holding you like this, pressed against him was one of the only things to keep him going during these hard months. Days blended in together, but it was all worth it if he could see you again. “I missed you too Mesh’la, you’ve all I’ve thought about” he murmured, running a gloved hand up and down your spine.

He’s very much aware of the eyes on the pair of you in the hangar. Knows that he’s pushing his luck just the pair of you hugging each other so close. He has no concern of his brother’s reporting you. No, never. They had their own loves and cyares to return to, they wouldn’t begrudge him this affection filled reunion. He felt lucky that you worked in the hangar and was here on your day off to welcome him back. No it was the nat-borns dotted around the hanger. Although many was friendly, kind and treated his brothers like actual beings and not meat droids, there was always some that hated the clones and would rather see them be put in their place and stay there. So with great difficulty, he pulls away, taking off his helmet so he can see you with his own two eyes and not a HUD screen in between you two.

“I wish I could kiss you at the moment, cyare, but it’s going to have to wait until we get home” Rex said sadly, wanting to cup your face and press his sand-roughened lips against yours.

You hummed, delighting in the fact that your trooper couldn’t wait until you got home before he covered you with his kisses and touch. But you had a much better idea. You had waited for him long enough, he could wait a little bit longer.

Standing on your tiptoes to reach his height, you heard his quiet gasp as you pressed against his front and placed your lips next to his ear. “When we get home, I’m cuffing you to the bed and going down on you all night until my jaw is sore” you whispered seductively, hand curling into the top of his chest plate to keep yourself balanced.

You were expecting him to gasp and blush, maybe even remind you that you’re in a public place and to be careful. You weren’t expecting Rex, Captain of the 501st to shudder and his eyes to briefly flutter closed as with a loud clatter, he dropped his helmet. The reinforced metal floorings seem to echo and vibrate with the noise as it drew people’s attentions towards you. Rex couldn’t help but blush as his brothers all looked over, some with confusion and others with smirks on their faces, as they guessed what exactly had caused such a reaction from the Captain.

Giggling softly at his reaction, you watched knowingly as Rex quickly bent down to scoop up his helmet and shove it over his head. No doubt he would prefer to hide his facial reactions at the moment and the beautiful red hue on his cheeks. “Mesh’la, you’re a menace!” he grumbled, shaking his head at you.

“Rex!” a voice called from behind him, and you quickly stood to attention as General Skywalker came over to the pair of you. “At ease” he waved you off, a smile quirking his lips as he looked between you and Rex.

“General Skywalker, it’s good to see you’ve returned” you said politely, relaxing slightly at how friendly he seemed with his Captain as he clapped the man’s shoulder.

“Was there any doubt?” he scoffed, smirking at your trooper. “You must be Y/N, Rex has told me all about you” Anakin announced, holding out his hand to you.

Shocked that Rex had spoken about you with his Jedi – a Jedi! - enough for him to recognise you by name and ignore the breaking of rules that said clones shouldn’t be dating, you reached out to shake his hand too. “Really?” you gaped, looking to Rex for some clue as to what the fuck was you meant to say to a Jedi who knew you were in an illegal romantic relationship with his Captain.

“Of course, he speaks very highly of you. And with Rex, that says everything I need to know” he smiled reassuringly, before glancing at Rex. “You okay, Captain? You feel tense” Anakin checked in on his trooper, amusement clear in his tone. You blushed and hoped he couldn’t sense in the Force what exactly had happened just before his arrival.

“I’m fine, General” Rex huffed, back straightening even more if possible. You were missing something in this, a quiet joke that obviously ran between the two. Raising an eyebrow at him, he subtly shook his head, he’d explain everything to you later.

“Well, I’ve got to be going. I’ve got business at the Senator’s– Senate!” Anakin quickly corrected, eyes widening in panic for half a second before he smiled wryly at you. “At the Senate. Enjoy your shore leave, Captain and don’t keep him up too late Y/N” Anakin said teasingly, winking at you as Rex tried to splutter out an explanation.

With heated faces, one covered by his bucket, you turned to each other. “So… the General knows?” you stated, anxiety already starting to curl in your chest.

“He won’t say anything Cyare, he’s in a similar situation himself” Rex assured, gesturing to you to lead the way out of the hangar. He had to remind himself to keep his hands at his side. A welcome back hug was one thing, a hand on your lower back was another. He wouldn’t risk you getting in trouble because he couldn’t control his desire to touch you.

“He’s with a clone!” you gasped, spinning around to stare at him agape.

“What?! No! I’ll explain later, but for now just trust me. We’re okay. I cover for Skywalker, he covers for me” Rex frowned, shaking his head at that and grimacing. No, he would hate for one of his brothers to be with the General. He was much too dramatic for that!

You grinned, knocking your shoulder against his arm teasingly. “Ohh, Skywalker has a mistress? Whatever would the Jedi Council say?” you giggled, heading over to your speeder as soon as the fresh air hit your face. Well, as fresh as the air could be on Coruscant. “Come on, I can’t wait to get home, can you?”

Rex couldn’t help the dopey smile that bloomed across his face. He was glad that his helmet hid that from you for a moment, because his heart ached with how much he loved you. You would always get embarrassed at that look and try to hide away. Rex didn’t want you to do that, not now. He loved to see how care-free you felt just by him being at your side once more. Hurrying forward to get ahead of you, he held open the door and helped you into the speeder, soaking in the feel of your hand in his and giving it a gentle squeeze for good measure.

“What a gentleman I have! I’m so lucky to have you, darling” you cooed, reaching for his own hand as soon as he got into the speeder. You leaned forward, pressing a kiss to where his cheek would be if he didn’t have his helmet on. “When I get you home love, I’m going to make sure you know just how thankful I am to have such a wonderful man in my life” you praised, pulling his hand up to your cheek and nuzzling into the rough texture of his gloves.

“Stars, cyare! I’m the lucky one. Don’t know what I’d do without you” he admitted, resting your head against his before pulling away. “Let’s get home. I want to finally be able to hold you” Rex smiled, pulling away to let you drive home.

You couldn’t help but chuckle. That’s what he thought, but he wouldn’t be able to hold you as much as he probably had hoped. At least, not just yet.

Taking your reaction as amusement at his words, he rolled his eyes and tugged at the hem of your jacket. “And no speeding this time, I mean it!” he warned, poking your side.

You rolled your eyes, pulling out into Coruscant’s mid-day traffic. “Not all of us drive like an ageing Trandoshan Rex” you reminded, daring to glance at him from the corner of your eye. It amused you greatly to know that Rex hated the idea of you breaking the speed limit. Not because he didn’t trust you, but he spent most of his time being acquainted with General Skywalker’s particular brand of flying, he just wanted a change of pace – literally.

When you arrived back at the building your apartment was in, Rex took off his helmet, wanting to make sure the neighbours weren’t threatened by the thought of a clone trooper coming into their building. You were glad that he was so considerate of people, but you wished he could just be like any other person. Able to relax once he got home from work and not worry about the prejudice that was being spurted by the media and the Senate.

As you entered the passcode to your door, Rex rested his hands on your hips, pulling you back to him. “Steady on trooper, I need to get us in the door first” you smiled, tugging him in after you when the door slid open.

The house was just like he remembered it, and he couldn’t help but sigh in relief at finally being home. The closest home that he and his brothers had was Kamino. And that was hardly what he would have thought a home would be like. No, when he dared dream of a future, he imagined a home like this. Being surrounded by warmth, comfort and love. To have soft things to touch, to sit on and not have to worry about keeping everything prim and proper. He could let go.

“Welcome home love” you greeted, leaning up on your tiptoes to press a gentle kiss to Rex’s lips.

Not one to let an opportunity go to waste, Rex wrapped his arms around you, pulling you against his chest. “I think we can do better than that, mesh’la” he rumbled, leaning down to press a more passionate kiss to you. He couldn’t help but keep you as close as possible to him, never wanting this moment to end. Flicking his tongue over your bottom lip, he swallowed your moans as you glided your own against his.

Pulling away so as to not derail your plan, you leant your head against his. “Why don’t you go and have a shower love? I’ll cook us some dinner while you’re in there” you suggested, running gentle fingers over his stubbled cheeks and down his jaw. Rex’s eyes fluttered at the gentle caress before he nodded.

You helped get his armour off, enjoying being able to help him in his routine. It added a touch of domesticity that you treasured. Rex had already been through so much in his short life, you wanted to make sure that he had some resemblance of normality. So if that included running your hands over Rex as he took off his armour, then so be it. He needed to know that he was loved and precious to you. Gently placing his boots next to the organised pile of armour that rested beside the door, you wrapped your arms around him fully now, feeling him relax against you.

“Go and jump in the refresher handsome!” you encouraged, pecking his cheek before heading into the kitchen. You heard the quiet sigh and the soft footsteps as Rex padded into the refresher. “Oh, leave your blacks outside, I’ll put them in the wash for you!” you called out behind you, already beginning to get the ingredients out to his favourite meal. You had already pre-prepared most of the steps so it shouldn’t take too long for it to cook.

Turning on the radio, you lost yourself in the cooking, feeling lighter somehow now that Rex was home and was using your refresher to get clean. You hoped he would have a long shower, just so that he could treat himself now that he was off duty. The first time he had used it, he had got the time down to 4 minutes. It had left you reeling when he had stepped out and you had barely even started the caf for breakfast. After plenty reassurance and insisting, Rex had finally believed you when you said you could afford the luxury of hot water for longer than 5 minutes, and that no, he wasn’t taking advantage of your kindness. That he was allowed to let the hot water beat against his tense muscles and allow them to loosen after the many stresses of the day. To put down some of those responsibilities that weighed heavily on his shoulders.

Most times after he returned home to you, he would struggle for a few hours to really relax. He had gotten better at it, but it always took him a while to decompress. So shower, food and cuddles were generally required before he was fully with you. You didn’t mind, it was to be expected. He had seen some terrible, horrifying things in the fight for the galaxy’s freedom. Things that kept him up at night, screaming in terror before he woke up with a start. You always held him, picked up his broken pieces and put him back together. Some nights he would go back to sleep, safe in your arms. Other nights you would talk and comfort him until the light began to stream into your bedroom as a new day began.

It wasn’t a hardship to look after Rex. After all, how could you deny the man anything when he asked for nothing?

While you were so lost in your thoughts and the comforting routine of cooking, Rex had finished his shower and dressed in the loose lounge pants that you had brought for him. His bare chest was still a bit damp from the shower, but he enjoyed having the freedom to move around and not feel the constricting feeling of his blacks and armour.

Leaning against the doorway, he had found you lost in your own little world, humming happily to whatever tune was on the radio at the time. He couldn’t help but take you in, the way your hips swayed slightly to the beat, how you took great care in ensuring dinner was going to be perfect. Every so often you would stop, shake your head and return back to whatever you were doing. Obviously your mind was working at a 100 miles a minute, wanting to make his return home special.

If it took him a few hours to get his head back in the present, then it took you just as long to relax and put down your own anxieties. Numerous times he had told you that you didn’t have to do anything special to mark the occasion. That just cuddling on the sofa with some takeaway was more than enough. Just as long as they were together, then nothing else mattered. But you were determined, always wanting to treat him and pamper him as much as possible. Admittedly it was really nice when you both did a few skin care treatments and massages, but what really made it special was you. He didn’t need anything like that, and he was determined for you to put aside your perfectionism and let him dote on you for a change.

Grabbing everything to plate up, you were surprised when two thick arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you into an equally broad chest.

“Smells delicious mesh’la, almost as good as you” he murmured into your ear, swaying with you as he kissed your neck.

Giggling at the ticklish spot he always seemed to find, you turned your head to give him a small smile. “Says you, you smell incredible” you flirted back, trying to dish everything out with Rex still attached to you. “Will you get us some drinks ready, darling?” you requested, nodding over to the cupboard of glasses across your kitchen.

“Of course! You didn’t have to go through all this trouble” he reminded, taking a few glasses out of the cupboard and filling it up with your drinks. “We could have had anything and I wouldn’t have minded. Those ration bars are awful, I’ll have to get you to try them one of these days” Rex grimaced, shaking his head at the thought of them.

“No thanks, I don’t know how you boys stomach them, you must have stomachs of steel” you insisted, face twisting at the thought of tasting what the troopers were given.

“Well after the osik they served on Kamino, anything tastes better” Rex said dryly, and you cursed yourself for bringing up a bad memory. “It’s fine, cyare. You weren’t to know” Rex soothed, seeing the worry and regret already beginning to form on your face. Taking the plates out of your hand, he laid them on the table before pulling you into him.

“Now, I’m really, really hungry for my beautiful cyare” Rex stated, lips pulling into a smirk as he watched you blush at the feel of his heated skin beneath your hands. He let you run gentle, soft fingers up and down his stomach, taking in the feel of him.

“Don’t you mean my food?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“No I do not. I’d much rather be eating you out” he growled playfully, nipping playfully at your bottom lip.

Desire shot through you at that, but you smacked his chest playfully, rolling your eyes at his words. “Dinner before desert, handsome” you reminded, pulling away from him as you set the rest of the table.

“if you insist” he sighed heavily, winking at you when you caught his eye.

You couldn’t help but duck your head from your pretty trooper, heat climbing up your cheeks as you busied yourself with everything. A warmth curled in the pit of your stomach and you felt slightly breathless from his attention.

After dinner, he directed you to the sofa, not taking any arguments as he insisted he would clean up dinner because you had cooked. Knowing it was pointless to argue with him, you agreed, flopping back onto the couch and sinking into the cushions. The night you had planned still wasn’t over yet, but you could feel the tension bleed out of you and tiredness creep in. It had been a long day getting everything ready, worried about how Rex would be when he got off the ship, how he would behave when he returned back to you. It had added up, and now you needed to decompress from your own thoughts just a little bit.

“Hey, come ‘ere” a deep rumble sounded as Rex climbed onto the sofa next to you, pulling you into his lap.

You sighed, straddling him and curling up into his chest. Taking in his scent, you felt yourself relax even more into him, hiding your face in the crook of his neck and just able to rest there.

Rex chuckled, slipping a hand underneath your shirt and tracing patterns onto the small of your back. “Long day, cyare?” he murmured, burying his nose into your hair and tightening his hold of your waist.

You hummed, content to just soak in his warmth and the feel of him against you. “Very… wanted to make it perfect for you” you admitted, words mumbled against his skin as you refused to pull away.

Rex smiled warmly, shifting into a better position against the pillows. It caused him to buck his hips slightly but he ignored the feel of your core pressed against him for now. “Everything you do for me is perfect, cyare. And even if everything went wrong today, I wouldn’t care, just as long as I could hold you in my arms like this” he whispered, almost like the words would shatter the small peace that was surrounding you if they were spoken too loudly.

Sighing, you nuzzled into his neck before lifting your head and pressing a kiss to his jaw. “Just want to make you happy” you shrugged, as though it was the simplest thing in the world.

Rex chest tightened, and he couldn’t help but fall even more in love with you. His happiness had never been anyone’s priority. Had never been considered in any choices or decisions by him or anyone. The closest time he could consider being happy was with his brothers and the moments of friendship between the General, Commander and himself. But nobody had ever devoted their time to make sure he was happy, put any effort into it like you did. He didn’t think he’d ever worthy of your love but if he got to hear you say stuff like that and to whispering that you loved him whenever you could, well he would do everything he possibly could to prove it to you.

Cupping your face, he pressed small kisses along your cheeks, over your nose and head before landing a final kiss to the corner of your mouth. You huffed at the tease, wanting him to kiss you properly. However as you moved to finish what he started, he pulled away. “You make me happy, cyare. So, so happy” he said, so surely and without doubt that you blinked in surprise at the raw emotion in his voice. Rex leaned forward, letting his lips connect with yours slightly harder than he intended. Maybe coming home had affected him more than he thought. He just wanted to be close to you, feel you and hear the sweet noises you let out as you reunited.

As the kiss got more heated, you slid your arms around his neck, not wanting to be too far away from him. His exploring tongue swept across your bottom lip and you opened your mouth to let him inside, deepening the kiss. He playfully teased your own tongue out and nipped at your bottom lips as you both became lost in the other. One of your hands trailing from the tight grip around his neck to follow the happy little trail that led into his trousers.

Rex’s breath hitched against yours and you couldn’t help but feel proud at the way your touch always seemed to send him into a frenzy of want, need and desperation. He didn’t waste any time, running calloused hands over your middle. “So soft, I love feeling you against me” he mumbled in awe, kissing along the side of your neck before he pulled the thin skin under your ear into his mouth and sucked hard.

“Rex” you gasped, stomach tightening at the feel of him marking you up. You knew that tomorrow you would be sporting a dark hickey that you would be proud to wear. Not wanting to lose track of where this night was going, you slid your hand into his loungers and felt the stiff cock that had been pressing against you.

“Kriff!” Rex hissed, as he felt your small hand grip his member. It had been so long since he felt anything other than his own hand on the dark, lonely nights on board the Resolute. Your warm touch was like a balm to his soul as he pushed his hips into your hand.

He was hardening in your hand, especially when you squeezed him gently up to the tip, making sure to rub just where the head of his cock met his shaft. The moan he let out was enough to send slick into your panties and you couldn’t help but try and find friction on the thigh you were perched on. It helped sate the flash of arousal for a moment, but you wanted more.

Rex seemed to agree because he gripped the hem of your shirt and quickly tugged it up and off you, pulling your hands away from him. His growl of frustration did nothing to stop you rocking yourself against him as your core ached. Grunting, he gripped your hips, positioning them over his once more before staring at your beautiful exposed chest.

“God, you’re perfect, mesh’la” he breathed, large hand squeezing your breast as you rocked your hips against his. “So soft” he murmured, tightening his hold on your waist as he pressed feather soft kisses along the soft rises of your breasts. Heat was curling dangerously in your stomach, and you knew that if you didn’t move this along then your plans for tonight with him ending up in cuffs was not going to happen. The Captain could distract you better than anyone else you knew, and you really, really wanted to go down on him and have him at your mercy.

“Rex” you panted, pushing him away from you for a second. His eyes glanced up at you, dark and full of promises of pleasure and desire that you had to take a deep breath to collect yourself. “I want you in our bed. Can I?” you asked, kissing the corner of his mouth teasingly. It twitched under your actions, recognising the same move from himself. “I want to make you feel good, to taste you and hold you in my mouth until my jaw aches. Please?” you breathed, brushing your cores together as though he would say no to you.

“Kriff cyare! Yes, course! As if I’d deny you anything” he cursed, shaking his head and controlling the roll of your hips against his for a few moments before allowing you to stand up. It made him shiver, losing the heat of you pressed against his body.

“Come on handsome” you encouraged, taking his hand and pulling him up. Biting your lip, you couldn’t help but take him in, already so worked up from your little make out session on the couch. Not that you were much different. “I’ve got plans for you” you teased, squeezing his hand before heading to your room.

Guiding him into your bedroom, you were eager to have him under you, to have him completely at your mercy. You were looking forward to seeing all the stresses on your Captain’s shoulders disappear as lust and desire darkened his eyes even further.

Stopping him at the edge of your bed, you pressed a gentle, soft kiss to the skin above his heart before you pulled away. “I want to use some binders on you tonight. Is that okay?” you asked, making sure not to touch him while he made his decision. It was a rule you both had put into place when you started this relationship. You should both be in a clear head when you made these kind of decisions, and both of you were aware just how much the others touch affected you.

Rex brow furrowed for a moment before he looked back at you. “My binders might be a bit uncomfortable cyare, and they’re only able to release with my fingerprint” he explained, rubbing the back of his neck in disappointment.

“That won’t be a problem” you assured, ducking under the bed to grab at the box that you kept all your special toys in. Flipping up the lid, you found exactly what you were looking for and turned to look back at Rex. He looked a little dazed and you realised just exactly what position you were in. “Here, I thought about that a few days ago, so I brought some new ones for us to have fun with. They’re padded and more comfortable to use. Think these will be okay, Captain?” you smirked, handing them over to him for inspection before pushing yourself up from the floor. He would be the one to wear them, and he had more knowledge about binders and handcuffs than you.

Giving them a critical once over, he noticed the quick release button that you could press and the one that he would be able to press as well if it became too much. You’d obviously had done your research and picked well. The thought of you planning this out, researching which binders to buy made his blood feel like fire rushing underneath his skin. “Been planning this a while?” he couldn’t help but tease, handing them back to you and nodding in approval.

“Rex, I always imagine you when you’re away. I can’t help it” you grinned, looking up at him through your lashes.

“Well, you’ll just have to tell me some of those things. I imagine there’s a long list.”

“I’d love to.”

Rex wrapped his arms around you, tugging you into him and sealing your words with his kiss. It was slightly more passionate than the one you shared in the living room, hungry to feel you against him, taste you on his tongue and run his hands over your shapely curves.

“You sure about this?” you whispered, panting slightly as you tried to pull your brain cells together after that.

“I was sure about it when you told me in the hangar, mesh’la” he growled, pinching your hip as he remembered all those stares that had swivelled around at you both. He would be hearing about that from his brothers later no doubt.

You squirmed in his hold before placing your hands on his hips and pushing him down on the bed. He landed with a soft thump and a bounce as you stood between his spread legs. It was a glorious sight, the respected and feared Captain, laid spread out beneath you. His thick thighs encasing you and bronze skin on full display. Looking up at him, you couldn’t help but return the smile that he had on his face as he watched you watching him.

“You’re so pretty, Rex. Like something out of a fairy tale. My knight in shining armour” you breathed, hooking your fingers underneath the band of his lounge pants and slowly pulling them down off angled hips. As you did so, you leaned forward and kissed the sharp jut of his hips, making Rex let out a strangled groan. It was one of the first of many sounds you hoped to draw out of him.

After pulling off his pants and throwing them behind you to land on the floor. You’d pick them up in the morning. Looking back, you could see Rex about to complain at you for leaving them lying around but you quickly cut him off. Swiping your tongue across your lips, you leaned over his stiffened cock, letting your hot breath caress the sensitive skin as Rex squeezed his eyes shut and threw his head back onto the mattress.

“Move up the bed, love” you instructed, taking in how he had to take a couple of breaths before he dragged himself up to the top of your bed. You helped pile the pillows up so he could be comfortable, checking on him to make sure he was doing okay.

“Mesh’la, I’m fine. I love you and how much you want to look after me, but I really, really want to feel you against me” Rex assured, hooking a hand around your waist and tugging you down onto his front. He chuckled at the little squeal you let out as he ran his hands up and down your spine, kissing at the delicate skin of your neck before sucking red marks that you would proudly wear tomorrow.

Stars, you had forgotten just how strong he was as he kept you against him. His hand dipped beneath your t-shirt, fingers tracing patterns along your skin as you ran your hand through his short blonde hair. It tickled against your palm and you loved the feel of the short hairs brushing against your hand. Your other hand cupped his cheek, a hint of stubble of a 5 o’clock shadow beginning to grow on his face. You would have to try and persuade him not to shave it during his time off, you could just imagine how it would feel between your thighs.

Pulling away, your breath caught in your chest at seeing how flushed Rex was beginning to look from your kisses and touch. His beautiful brown eyes were staring at you with a mixture of adoration and lust, taking in every feature as though he was committing it to memory. You understood. You felt exactly the same way when he was on leave and the pair of you were on borrowed time until his next shore leave. Leaning forward, you pressed your forehead against his, savouring the intimate touch as both of you took in shuddering breaths until you settled.

“Missed you” he murmured, leaning upwards to give you another sweet kiss.

“Missed you too, love” you sighed, stroking his cheek before sitting up and straddling him.

Rex let out a groan, hands flying to your waist to keep you against him. His thumbs dug into your flesh, sure to leave bruises later on for you to admire. As you reached over to get the binders you had left on the bed, Rex hissed as your clothed core rubbed against his cock, stimulating him even further as your warmth seeped through your clothes into him.

“I’m going to put the binders on you now. Do you remember your safe word?” you asked, forcing yourself to push away your desire for a moment to focus on Rex.

“Kamino” Rex nodded, eyes turning serious at your question, giving it the consideration it and you deserved. He ran his hands from your hips, trailing down your thighs before giving them a gentle squeeze.

You nodded your consent to his words, once again hating how he had chosen that word. It was filled with so much horror and pain that you had wondered why he had chosen that when you had first started to explore your relationship. He had told you that it would be the one word he wouldn’t be thinking about when you were together. That if he said it, you would know that he needed to stop. Rex was right, that word would be like a cold splash of water down your spine.

Gently, you picked up his left hand, brushing your lips against his wrists, over his palm and kissing each fingertip before you placed it into the cuff. You felt Rex twitch under your hips and looked up to see him taking in your touch with wide eyes and love written all over his face. Rex didn’t get to experience much loving gestures apart from his brothers, so you wanted to spoil him as much as possible. Give him the softness and love that the galaxy didn’t.

Picking up his right hand you did the same, pressing revering kisses to his knuckles and over his strong, course fingertips. A huff of air left Rex as you placed a loving kiss to his palm. It was done so quietly that you almost didn’t hear it. But Rex relaxed even more against the bed, some of the tension he had been carrying since the hangar – kriff, maybe even since he walked out of your door the last time, was finally leaving him. You secured his right hand in the cuff, pressing the button to close them and raising his arms above his head.

“Stars Rex, you’re beautiful. I don’t think my imagination could do you justice” you gasped, taking in the sight of him looking so delectable. He was stretched out, taunt bronzed skin pulled over tantalising muscles. His arms bulged at the position he was in, looking just as strong and protective as Rex was. His dusky pink nipples were standing at attention, and you couldn’t help but lean forward and take one into your mouth.

The reaction was instant.

“Fuck Mesh’la!” Rex breathed, hands tugging at the restraints slightly as his fingers twitched to run through your hair, hold your delicious mouth to him. When you circled one with a tongue, he had to force himself to still unless he buck into you.

You chuckled, moving onto the next and lightly sucking the nipple before pulling away and blowing on it. It hardened even further and you couldn’t help but smile. Running your hands over his pecs, you slowly trailed them up his arms, avoiding the ticklish spot under his arms. Your trooper was ridiculously ticklish there, and only the Commander Batch were the only other people who knew. Feeling the defined shape of his biceps and triceps, you moved up to his forearms before entwining your fingers together with his. You squeezed them reassuringly, nuzzling into his cheek and pressing a kiss there as you slowly started to circle your hips against his.

Activating a button, the binders magnetised to the bed and Rex gasped as he was now unable to move. Completely at your mercy. “Neat little trick, cyar’ika” he muttered, voice shaking a little as all his blood rushed further down to his cock.

“I thought so too” you crowed, biting your lip as you looked down at the man underneath you, pulling your hands away to stroke his twitching stomach muscles as you felt his cock strain against you.

“My smart, beautiful cyare” he praised, watching in hunger as your face heated up even more and the touch running along his stomach stuttered for a moment before you continued your delicate strokes.

“Hey! I’m the one meant to be loving you tonight” you reminded, shaking your head at the power of his words.

As if reading your mind, he chuckled warmly, hips twitching underneath you and giving you both just a hint of friction. “Don’t need my hands to make you come undone” he said, remembering that night a few months ago when he had whispered such filth into your ear as he fucked you deep that you had cummed quicker than you had ever before. It was something he was immensely proud of himself for.

“Another time, Captain” you promised, leaning forward to take a nipple into your mouth once more. He let out a small groan and it felt like victory, your Captain quickly forgetting about his own prowess and focusing on yours. You scraped your teeth over the hardened nub, resulting in the pull of Rex’s arms and a thrust upwards that nearly had you toppling over him.

“Rex!” you chastened, pinching a nipple and twisting it slightly.

He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before opening them again and fixing you with a contrite look. It didn’t match the smirk on his face or the words that came out of his mouth. “Sorry cyar’ika, have your fun” he nodded, encouraging you to continue, “promise I’ll be good.”

You didn’t believe him but began kissing over his chest, lingering on the scar that was the souvenir of the bolt that nearly took him from you. Softly, you traced the raised flesh, making sure that you loved it just as much as you did him. That it didn’t take anything from his worth just because he wore the scars of his battles. “So beautiful” you whispered, laying a final kiss to the skin before kissing down his stomach and nuzzling the dark patch of hair that led from his belly button down to his handsome cock.

“Take them off” Rex instructed, nodding at your bra and covered bottom half. His voice cut you out of your admiration and you looked up and raised an eyebrow at your Captain.

“Ask me nicely” you chided, dragging a nail along his inner thigh. It twitched under your hand and he shifted even more as he felt your warm hand sooth the light pink mark you had made.

“Please, pretty girl, I want to see you. All of you” he sighed, running his eyes down from your face to your covered chest and further down to what waited between your legs.

“You sound so lovely when you beg, baby” you smiled, getting off the bed and leaving him exposed to your own stare. “I want to hear more of it tonight” you told him, hooking your fingers into your trousers and pulling them off. Rex uttered a quiet curse as he saw you dressed in a slinky lingerie number. How on earth had he missed that when you were necking on the couch.

Grinning at his attention, you slipped your hands up to the fastenings of your bra and flung it away, letting your breasts drop from the constrictive cage they had been forced in. The cool air instantly hit you, and your nipples and you couldn’t help but shiver slightly at them hardening under Rex’s ravenous look. Hoping to keep that look on you for the rest of your life, you turned around and bent over, hearing the groan as your ass was put on perfect display for him. Pulling the lace over your ass cheeks and down your legs, you straightened up and kicked them aside.

“Mesh’la” he whispered, taking in the beautiful sight. You watched as a bead of pre-cum leaked from the head of his cock.

Rex couldn’t help but feel his mouth water, you looked beautiful, good enough to eat. And he wanted to taste you so badly. Wanted to take those perky nipples into his mouth, suck and kiss them until you were left gasping at how sensitive they were. He wanted to leave marks all over your chest so that they wouldn’t disappear until days after he left. What he wouldn’t give to just hold them in his hands, rub away the red marks that had dug into your skin from the lacy bra’s grip. But he couldn’t. Because tonight, he was playing by your rules instead.

“Come here, please Mesh’la, let me taste you!”

Chuckling at his begging, you climbed up the bed and between his legs. Appreciating the way he automatically spread them wider, giving you space to come in between them. Rewarding him with a kiss to the side of his knee, you got yourself comfortable and rested your head on his thigh. You knew it would frustrate him, feeling your hair tickling the soft skin of his thighs and the warm breath caress his balls. “I want to taste you more. I want to take your cock in my mouth and feel you pulse against my tongue” you whispered, running a tortuously slow finger over his balls.

Rex whimpered, hips flexing and you gave him a mock pout. “Maker, you can’t say stuff like that cyare, otherwise this will be over much sooner than we both want” Rex groaned, biting his lip as you began to press kisses along his inner thighs. Occasionally you would graze your teeth down his leg, making him flinch away or twitch, but you always kept a firm hand on his leg, thumb rubbing small circles into him as you worked your way further up and up until you were so close to where he wanted you.

“Mesh’la!” Rex whined, hips shifting under your grip. “Come on!” he encouraged, looking at you through his half-lidded gaze.

“But you promised me I could have my fun” you pouted, returning back to pressing gentle kisses along Rex’s thigh.

“And you have. Now let me out, I want to have some fun” Rex grumbled, binders clunking against your headboard as he tried futilely to reach for you.

“Oh?” you gasped, voice pitched slightly higher as you met his gaze. Rex moaned, your eyes darkening with unrestrained lust. “Is this not fun enough for you, Captain?” you asked, licking a strip from the bottom of his cock up to the tip. Circling the head, you collected the pre-cum that had escaped, moaning slightly at the taste as you kept eye contact with your trooper.

Rex gaped, cock giving a valiant twitch in an effort to get closer to your mouth. Stars, he had never seen anything quite as sexy and enchanting as you. He wished he could touch you, thread his fingers through your hair and stop you teasing him.

Words were lost to him as you carefully took him into your mouth, rubbing the head of his cock against your tongue. He threw his head back, a long moan falling from his lips as your hand gripped him at the base, holding his cock steady as you began to kitten lick at his slit. It felt like you were trying to drink his taste from the source.

“God, mesh’la… so good… feel so good” he whined as you leaned forward, taking as much of him in as you could. He hit the back of your throat and your eyes watered, forcing you to slow down and pull back. It had been a while since you had taken him, and wanted to enjoy seeing him come apart.

So you started a gentle pressure as you sucked him down, wrapping your lips around him and jerking your hand around the bit that you couldn’t fit in. Rex was longer than you had, not quite as thick but he was a heavy weight against your tongue as you used it to stimulate the vein on the underside of his cock.

The sounds that Rex was letting out was delicious, small gasps and wet whines escaped him as you devoted yourself to making him cum in your mouth. He panted out your name, hips rising and making you choke on his cock. An apology quickly was cried out as he felt his balls tightening, drawing up as his orgasm approached.

Knowing that Rex was about to come, you pinned his hips down, putting your weight on him as you ramped up the vibrating moans and suction of your mouth and the twist of your hand, wanting to taste him as he shot his essence down your throat.

“Wait- wait! Stop Mesh’la, please!” Rex cried out, squeezing his eyes shut from the onslaught of heat, desire and ecstasy that were shooting through his veins.

Instantly you pulled away, concerned that you had done something wrong or he wanted to stop. “Rex, are you okay?” you panted, voice hoarse from him repeatedly hitting the back of your throat.

Rex nodded, trying to gather himself and force out a few words so you would understand. “Don’t wanna cum, want you… want you to ride- ride me” he explained, toes curling as he tried to keep himself still and from thrusting his hips up into your face.

Smiling softly in relief, you pressed a kiss to his hip before raising yourself up from between his legs. “Of course, baby. Such a good boy, telling me what you want” you praised, cupping his cheek and kissing him. He whimpered at your praise, system flooding with pride at your words.

Carefully so as to not overstimulate him, you got your knees on either side of his hips and gripped his cock, slowly lowering your form onto him. Truth was you were just as desperate as Rex, your body unable to resist his noise and the feel of him as your sucked his cock. It had you leaking slick all over your inner thighs, rubbing them together, desperate for friction. With a slight wince, you took him into you, your arousal helping to coat him and aid the slide into you.

As you came to a rest on his hips, you were both panting heavily, the feel of his cock pressed snugly against you, hitting all the good parts inside of you already. He couldn’t help but curl his hands into fists inside the binders, the warm, wet heat of you clinging to him, tightening and loosening around his cock as you got used to the feel of him again. Although he was desperate to move, to thrust up into your wet cavern and hear your moans, he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t move unless you gave him the go to.

Finally after what seemed like hours, but was probably only a minute, you met his gaze and nodded. Rex returned it, watching eagerly as you raised yourself up before dropping down onto his cock. The cry that left you both would have pissed off the neighbours if you both cared about that sort of things. But you didn’t, because this was the first time in months since you had seen Rex, since he had filled you completely and touched you with such love and affection it had you melting against him.

Beginning a roll of your hips with a circulating grind against him on every downward motion of your hips, you rested your hands on the headboard, gripping it to keep you steady and give you the momentum to fuck down into Rex.

Rex didn’t seem to care, his head was thrown back as he grunted loudly, raising his hips to meet you thrust for thrust. If he had his hands, he would keep them on your hips, keep you bouncing on his cock as you cried out his name. Opening his eyes, he saw your breasts jiggling in front of him and he took the opportunity to do what he wanted for a while. He caught one in his mouth, suckling and pulling at your nipple. It had you yelping out his name, hips stuttering against his at the feel of the sharp pressure around your sensitive bud.

Dropping your hands to rest on his chest gave Rex more breasts to taste. He cursed at being unable to cup them like he wanted, but at least he was sucking, dark red marks onto your chest. Tomorrow they would darken and he would repeat the process all over again until he had to go.

“Touch yourself” he growled, before grazing his teeth against your nipple before giving it a sharp nip.

Moaning loudly, you couldn’t help but reach a hand in between you two and find your sensitive clit, rubbing fast circles on it as you neared your release. “Fuck, Rex!” you cried, throwing your hips down against his thrusts, forcing him deeper into you and hitting that spot that had you seeing stars. Your orgasm washed over you, forcing you over the cliff as pleasure assaulted all of your senses.

“Cyare!” Rex grunted, thrusting into you a couple more time before he released hot, long spurts into you, gritting his teeth as you clenched around his sensitive member.

Once you had stopped shaking, you realised that you had collapsed onto Rex and was holding him tightly. He himself was slumped, his arms looking heavy as they were held up by the binders.

Cursing yourself for being lost in your own high, you quickly sat up, groaning at the feeling of him still inside of you. “I’m going to take the binders off now, love, is that okay?” you asked quietly, not wanting to disturb the relaxing and peaceful atmosphere that was washing over you both. He nodded, eyes still resting stuck as he just enjoyed your touch and the way you looked after him.

Gently, you made sure to support his arms so they didn’t just drop when they were released. Pressing the button, the binders opened and you caught his arms before they hit him. You massaged his aching muscles, aware they could be stiff from spending too much time in one position. When that was done, you noticed the pink marks against Rex’s wrist from where he had been tugging at them. Thankfully you had brought the padded ones, you would hate to see what Rex’s wrists would have been like if his cuffs would have been used. Pressing soft kisses along his wrists, you brought them to his chest.

“How are you feeling?” you inquired, checking in with him as you stroked your fingers through his blonde buzz cut.

“Great, cyare, I feel great” he reassured, pulling you down onto his chest and kissing your temple. “Maker, I love you” Rex breathed, holding your sweaty body closer to his own.

“Love you too, I’m so glad you’re back” you smiled, shutting your eyes as you took in his comforting embrace.

“Give me 10 minutes and I’ll show you how much I’ve missed you” Rex rumbled, a promise that you knew he was sure to keep.

“Maybe I can tell you about some of my ideas while we wait” you teased, resting your chin on his chest and smirking at him.

“My clever, gorgeous cyare” he murmured, pulling you in for another kiss. And if you didn’t leave the bedroom until late afternoon the following day, you couldn’t help but feel smug about it.

[ladykailitha]

If I Rescue You, Will You Rescue Me, Too? Part 13

Hello!

I didn’t have time to work on the Shovel Talks AU today so I thought I’d give the part of the concert series that I’ve been sitting on for a couple of days.

And I have more of this done, too, so that’ll be fun.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

*

They arrived at the hospital and were almost immediately brought back. Dr Hathaway looked over Eddie’s wounds, changed the dressing and took his vitals.

“Everything looks good, Mr Munson,” Dr Hathaway said. “You are free to go home. I will have a nurse come in in a few minutes to go over care for the next couple of weeks. And then be sure to make an appointment with me at the receptionist’s desk before you go. I want to see you in two weeks to remove the stitches.”

Eddie nodded.

Steve gave his shoulder a squeeze. “I’m just going to radio everyone the news, and I’ll be right back.”

Eddie smiled and nodded again.

When Steve came back, the nurse was going over his outpatient care. He helped Eddie to his feet and stood by as Eddie made his appointment.

They drove in comfortable silence, a smile on both their faces.

When Steve turned into Loch Nora instead of driving out to Wayne’s new house, Eddie frowned.

���Are we going to your place, then?” he asked.

Steve’s soft smile turned into a grin. “You’ll see.”

When they turned onto Steve’s street, Eddie could hear something like... cheering?

“What is that?” Eddie asked, but like Steve had all weekend, Steve had remained silent.

A head of them on Steve’s lawn, Eddie could make out signs and balloons.

“Steve...” he whined.

“Yes, babe?”

Eddie buried his head in hands. “You’re going to kill me. That what this is. You have decided that Vecna couldn’t do it, so you are going to finish the job by killing me in the cruelest way possible. KINDNESS.”

Steve laughed. “Just wait.”

Eddie tilted his head back and rolled his eyes. “You can’t keep doing this to me, man. I haven’t had so much outpouring of love my entire life. Like sure, I had friends, and my Uncle Wayne. But camaraderie and quiet affection are nothing like the sheer amount of love you have shown me over and over again this weekend.”

Steve stopped the car for a moment and turned to face him. “If this is too much, I can call it off. I can take you home and we can have a nice quiet afternoon and we can do this some other day.”

Eddie took a deep breath. And then another. He buried his face into his hands as he struggled to get his breathing under control.

“I mean it, Eddie,” Steve said, rubbing circles into his back. “I will turn this car around and we will go somewhere quiet and safe.”

Eddie let out a long shuddering sigh. “No. I think I’m okay now. I want to see our friends too.”

“If it gets too much, just go up to my bedroom and I’ll make your excuses, okay?”

Eddie nodded.

Steve pulled into his driveway and paused before opening the door. “Just one more thing. We don’t have to tell them about the change in our relationship today, tomorrow or ever, if you want. I leave that entirely up to you.”

Eddie gulped. “But it’s about you, too. Why are you leaving it up to me?”

“Because if it was up to me,” Steve murmured, “I would put it on every billboard, marque, and in every newspaper in town.”

Eddie’s eyes went wide. “You would?”

“But I’m new to this whole gay relationship thing,” Steve continued. “I vaguely have an idea what could happen if I did that. But no real experience. I’m guess you do.”

Eddie bit his lip, but nodded.

“And that’s why you’re in charge of who knows and when,” Steve said. “I know Wayne already knows, and Robin would be fine with it because she helped me with this weekend. So other than her and maybe Nancy, no one knows that the real plan for the weekend was to woo except those three. So if you want to wait about telling everyone else. Or in small batches, that’s fine, too. I want you to feel comfortable about us being together.”

Eddie took his hand. “Me too, sweetheart.”

Steve gave it a squeeze and then opened the door. Eddie scrambled to get out the car.

“They aren’t going to jump out and scare me, are they?” Eddie asked, sheepishly.

“If they do, you’ll have to help me hide all the bodies,” Steve said with a wink. “Because I’d murder them.”

Eddie laughed and followed Steve into the house. There wasn’t anyone in the foyer so that helped Eddie relax a little.

“You see that room at the top of the stairs?” Steve asked. Eddie nodded. “That’s my bedroom. If it gets too much, head straight there. Okay?”

Eddie nodded again. Steve wrapped him up in a big hug and Eddie clung to him for a moment.

Eddie took a step back. “Okay, I think I’m ready now.”

Steve nodded and opened a door on the side. It led to a large room with lots of large couches and a TV with huge sound system.

There were also a shit ton of people there too. His Uncle Wayne, his friends from Corroded Coffin. Dustin, Mike, and Lucas, Erica, too. Max was still in the hospital, but it was still nice to see the other kids there. Robin and Nancy were there too. But there were a couple of new faces he didn’t recognize. Two boys and a girl.

Eddie vaguely recognized the shorter of the two boys, having gone to school with Jonathan Byers. Which meant that the other boy must be his brother Will. You would have had to have been living under a rock to not know who he was. But the kid had certainly shot up like a sprout, though. Holy hell, Eddie was almost sure the kid was taller than he was.

Which left Supergirl. The one they had hoped would kill Vecna and had. Steve may have hauled his ass out of hell, but there wouldn’t have been anything left to save if she hadn’t have gotten to Max in time.

There were welcome home signs for both Eddie and Steve. Steve blushed.

“Come on, guys,” Steve muttered, “I’ve been out for a week.”

“Yes,” El said, glowering. “And it was a miscarriage of justice that Eddie got a welcome home party and you didn’t.” She glared at Nancy and Robin in particular, who looked away bashfully.

Eddie blinked at her and decided. Yup. He liked her. She was his new favorite.

Will nudged her with elbow and whispered something in her ear. She smiled sweetly at them which actually might be worse than the glaring.

But it broke the dam and suddenly everyone was coming up and welcoming them home.

Eddie grinned over Dustin’s head at Steve who was getting just as many hugs as he was.

Steve blushed harder and Eddie cackled.

The two of them were ushered over to sofa to sit down as they were brought food and drink. There was laughter and good times.

About half way through, Robin came over to sit by Steve while Eddie was engaged in conversation with about a campaign he wanted to start now that he was out.

She bumped his shoulder. “She was right you know. El, I mean.”

Steve looked over at El as she chatted excitedly with Dustin about his latest experiments.

“Yeah, she was.”

Robin looked down at her hands. “You were only in the hospital for like a day, but you were still hurt and needed to be celebrated too.”

Steve covered her hands with his. “Sometimes I think I’m like glass to them.” He jutted his chin out to the rest of the room. “Completely see through and only thought about when I’m useful.”

She wrapped one of her hands on top of his, their hands completely intertwined. “I know it can feel that way sometimes, but none of these people would be here without you.”

“It is my house,” Steve deadpanned.

Robin bumped his shoulder again. “Not like that, Dingus!”

He chuckled.

“They love you,” she whispered.

Steve nodded, fighting back tears.

Eddie leaned over just then and whispered, “That thing you offered me? That’s good for you too, sweetheart.”

Robin looked at them quizzically. “What does that mean?”

“It means, fair Birdie,” Eddie said with a grin. “That if either one of us is feeling overwhelmed, we can take a breather and the other one will cover for us.”

Robin tilted her head. “Count me in, too. In case both of you need a break at the same time.” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Both boys blushed.

Dustin came over and pulled Steve to his feet, dragging him away from Eddie and Robin so that they could chat with El.

“You should meet Jonathan’s friend, Argyle,” El said in lieu of greeting. “He’s nice. He helped us get across country and he didn’t have to. But he didn’t feel like it was appropriate to crash a party for people he hasn’t met.”

Steve rubbed her head. “Is that a bid for a pool party, Supergirl?”

“Please don’t touch my head,” she whispered.

Steve pulled her in for a hug. “It’s because they shaved it again, huh?” She nodded. “Then I won’t do it until it’s grown back some, okay?”

“Thank you for respecting my boundaries,” El said.

He kissed the top of her head. “Anytime, Supergirl.”

She giggled. “And of course it’s a bid for a pool party. When it gets warmer.” She shivered. “There wasn’t much to like about California, but it being warm all the time was nice.”

“I’m sure it was,” Steve said. “And when Max wakes up, you can tell her all about it.”

“I did tell her over the phone,” El said with a frown.

“Sure,” Steve agreed. “But I’m sure she’d love to hear it again all the same.”

El cocked her head. “I’m not sure I understand, but Hop and Joyce has both said the same thing, so I will do so.”

Will pulled Eddie and Steve aside when most of the crowd had thinned out and gone home. It was El, Will, Jonathan, Robin, and Wayne that were left besides Steve and Eddie.

“I didn’t want to give you these in front of everyone,” he began. “Mike would have flipped his shit.”

Eddie and Steve looked at each in confusion.

“Give us what?” Eddie asked.

He handed one rolled canvass to Eddie and the other to Steve. “I was talking to everyone and they were saying how amazing and awesome you guys were in helping take down Vecna, so I painted these.”

Steve unrolled his first. There was Steve, but a more badass barbarian version of himself in leather armor ripping a demobat in half.

“Wow, Will,” he murmured. “This is awesome!”

Eddie looked over his shoulder and whistled long and low. “That’s about what it looked like to be honest. Only this idiot was barefoot.”

Will turned to Steve in shock. “Barefoot?”

Steve blushed. “I had been swimming like seconds before that, so yeah. No shoes.”

Will shook his head. “You never cease to amaze me.”

Eddie unfurled his. There was Eddie as a medieval bard on top of a mountain, playing guitar. He put his hand over his mouth to stop them from quivering. “Oh.”

Steve looked over at it. “I don’t quite understand what he’s supposed to be.” He blushed from embarrassment expecting Will and Eddie to dogpile him the way Mike and Dustin did.

“He’s a bard,” Will explained. “They’re like warrior musicians. Most of them sing, but instruments are a big part of what makes a bard.”

Eddie smiled. “And big part of what a bard does is called bardic inspiration. It gives everyone able to hear their song, boosts to their stats.”

Steve nodded. “That’s definitely Eddie.”

Eddie blushed, shoving his hair in his face.

Will cocked his head to the side. “Wait...are you two...like together?”

Eddie and Steve shared a slightly panicked glance.

Will smiled. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.” He looked down at the floor. “I mean not all the rumors about me are wrong, so...”

Steve and Eddie frowned for a moment trying to remember all the bullshit that had been thrown around by bullies.

Eddie hit on it first. “You’re gay!” he whisper yelled.

Steve’s jaw dropped. “That makes sense. I’m bisexual myself. But yeah. Your secret is safe with us, too.”

Will blushed.

“We aren’t the only ones either,” Steve said with a wink. “Let’s just a birdie told me there is a lesbian in our Party too.”

Will mouthed the word birdie a couple of times before his eyes went wide. “Oh!”

Eddie and Steve cackled.

“Hey Robs!” Steve called out. “Can you come here for a moment?”

Robin broke off from talking to El and wandered over. “What’s up, Dingus?”

“Will was just saying how hard it was to find other queers in Hawkins,” Steve explained.

Robin snorted. “Dude, you landed among three of the biggest queers in the whole state.”

Will’s smile lit up his whole face. “Duly noted.”

“Hey, Will,” Jonathan said. “I’m ready to leave. Are you?”

“I’ll be there in a minute!” he said and then gave all three of them a hug. He hesitated a moment and then joined El and Jonathan. They all said goodbye.

That left Wayne, who was leaning against the door frame and Robin.

“You staying the night, Ed?” Wayne asked. “Or are you coming home with me?”

Eddie looked back at Steve, nervously.

“You haven’t been able to spend much time with your Uncle, Eds,” Steve murmured. “It’s okay if that’s what you want to do.”

Eddie’s shoulders sagged in relief. “Yeah. Yeah. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Steve smiled softly. “It’s a date.” He winked and Eddie blushed.

He pulled Eddie in close for a gentle kiss. “I love you, sunshine.”

“Love you too, sweetheart,” Eddie whispered back.

Eddie and Wayne were almost to the door when they heard Robin squeal.

“You better tell me everything!”

***

Part 14  Part 15 Part 16 Part 17  Part 18  Part 19  Part 20    

Tag List: @anaibis @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @plyerice27 @thedragonsaunt @chaoticlovingdreamer @sapphirecobalt-1 @a-little-unsteddie @i-must-potato @danili666  @carlyv @rozzieroos @wonderland-girl143-blog @itsall-taken @justforthedead89 @whalesharksart @nburkhardt @snapshotmaestro @shrimply-a-menace @theotalksalot @child-of-cthulhu @bookbinderbitch @cr0w-culture @punctualhowell @obliosworld @eddiemunsonswife @sharingisntkaren @dididisrespectyourbridgegoatman @lillemilly

[alpydk]

Stars

4/4 on today's list now done and done! Don't tell me there is no structure to this. I just started writing and went with it. There was no plan, no idea, just the outpouring of words.

Nana and Gale discuss the afterlife. (That's right! Nana!)

Word Count - 1700 ish - Fluff, maybe some angst?

My sweet mask. You sit with the mirrors and try to find yourself, but every reflection is just another person you have copied. Who are you beneath that pale surface? What monster dwells underneath the innocent eyes? What lies will you continue to deceive him with?

Nana woke from the nightmare with a start, a brief confusion of where she’d awoke taking her. Her white hair was tufted around her pointed ears, her coarse blanket wrapped messily around her legs, acting as an unwanted binding. There was no light under the fabric of the small tent she’d pitched, no sounds except the hooting of a distant owl, the burbling of the river they’d made camp upon.

The dreams of Thomas were becoming more frequent since she had joined the party and drifted away from the coast towards Baldur’s Gate. She’d seen Githyanki in combat, caused the destruction of a monastery - much to Astarion’s annoyance - and spent one sun basked evening hidden amongst tall reeds watching as Gale scrubbed the dirt of the swamp from his robes. That memory alone had helped her fall sleep with ease the last tenday.

Now she felt the cool chill of the autumn breeze around her shoulders and the memory of her companion’s moistened physique was not enough to hide the voice of the old flame that stirred deep within. Cold steel eyes watched her through the darkness. His commanding voice whispered of her treachery, causing her stomach to lurch as the images of her past came into sight.

Taking a deep breath, Nana pulled her blanket around her slight figure, hoping the weight of it would bring a comfort she’d only ever seen from afar. She left the confines of the tent, her skin turning the more tanned shade, her hair growing out long, red and unmanageable and for a brief moment she hoped that someone would be awake and would be able to see the truths she dared not utter.

The campfire had long since gone out, its embers now nothing but ash and she sat beside it, curious if that was how all life would one day end up. She’d seen the bodies in the swamp, knew of how they decomposed before becoming the earth. “But where are the souls? Where are the hearts that had once beaten so freely, that had loved and hated and felt? The gods never answer and so the afterlife must also be nothing but lies.”

“A bit late to be pondering the mysteries of the realms, don’t you think?”

As always, her habit of speaking out loud had brought attention to her inner thoughts, and she bit her tongue to prevent further words from spilling out against her will. Glancing up, she spotted the figure of Gale drifting through the shadows, a small white light in the palm of his hand causing his eyes to glisten. At times she had believed them to almost be a deep purple with the way the Weave curled itself around him like the tendrils of a creeping ivy, but she’d leant since then, watched him from a distance, listened to each poetic prose he had spoken.

“Nana, my dear, what are you doing out here alone on such a chilly night? It will do none of us good if you were to fall sick.”

Producing words was always a struggle for her when it came to Gale. She knew she wasn’t smart enough, articulate enough to keep up with the knowledge and literature he’d amassed over the years, but she was captivated by him. He was different, interesting, but most of all, he was kind. He’d been the first to accept her, had lain under twinkling stars with her as they both escaped their pasts, had listened to her. I love you.

Nana coughed the ball of nerves that sat in her throat. “I just couldn’t sleep, and you’re not exactly snoozing either.”

He chucked at her words, taking a seat next to her. The light in his hand vanished, replaced with a small orange flame. “When one has the knowledge that they might erupt at any moment, sleep becomes the least of one's worries.”

She hated when he spoke of the orb, of his impending demise she could do little to halt. It was a reminder of those years ago, of the other she could not save, of the one who haunted her nights and bloodied her hands.

“But this time awake gives more opportunities for solutions and encounters, of which I’m most thankful.”

The campfire before them burst into light, the warmth hitting her, which she embraced. She loosened the blanket around her shoulders, leaning forward to take in the heat. “You didn’t have to…”

The flames danced in his eyes, and for a moment, she was caught in them. They were so full of life, as warm as the fire he’d just created. You’re nothing like him.

“Ah, but now we need not have the worries of an inopportune cold lingering within the conversation.” Gale gave the briefest of smiles before looking ahead, his fingers mindlessly controlling the flow of the streams of smoke that rose to the starlit skies. “You do not believe in the gods or afterlife?”

“It’d be pretty stupid of me not to believe in the gods after everything. You know Mystra, that Gith giant that shouted at us.”

“You’re really not the best with names, are you?”

She shook her head. “I only remember the people that matter.” You, Astarion…Thomas. “But yeah, I believe in the gods. Why’d you ask?”

“Your late-night deliberations over the afterlife were quite audible.”

“I guess I’m just trying to figure it all out. I used to believe in the planes, like the books say. You die and then your god picks you up and sends you to their plane or you get judged and end up in a wall or something.”

He smiled at her simplistic explanation of the Fugue Plane and the City of Judgement. To see the world with such innocence and wonder was something he had missed in own life. There was a pleasure but also a sadness in having knowledge of the unknown. There were fewer and fewer mysteries each day to discover the answers to. “If you no longer believe that, where would you say we travel to once we have passed on?”

She felt the heat in her cheeks as he looked over at her, keen to hear the ideas she had buried out of embarrassment. This was a conversation she’d never had, a belief she’d never shared for fear of ridicule. He’d laugh at her, realise just how simple and uneducated she really was. He’d shun her. “Oh, you know… normal stuff.”

“Go on. You should be well aware by now, but I’m not one to dismiss an idea simply because the evidence is lacking.” His hand came up to his head, a reminder of the tadpole that had gone against all odds and not caused them to transform.

“I…” Nana composed herself. If I get it out quick enough. If I say it all, he won’t be able to interrupt, won’t be able to question it, may even give up and let it go. “Well, I think when a person dies, their body goes back to the earth. Like we all know that and then it gets eaten and we have that whole circle thing. But our souls and stuff they go somewhere else. Now I read in some book somewhere that more and more stars are being made every single day and some people think that’s the gods doing that, but I don’t-”  

“A little slower, my dear. A concept as captivating as your own should be treated like a fine wine: savoured and treated with respect.”

“Shit…” The blush was spreading higher, the idea of her rambling words like wine causing her to go as red as the very drink he spoke of. “Ok, well… um… wine lips…shit…”

A soft palm rested on her knee, a sign that she needed to relax. “Stars are being created. And might I assume the stars are the souls of the deceased?”

Nana gave a small nod, her breath caught and eyes pinned on the hand that lay upon her. He’d tried touching her so many times before, the brush of his hand when she disrupted the conjuring of the weave, the offer to help her stand after the first time she’d given him a magical artefact. She tried to ignore it, tried to carry on talking, her voice shaky. “Every day people die, and every day new stars are born. We become stars. And the stars that die, they become people again. It’s like a circle, just like the bodies are.”

“And this is for all souls, no matter their deeds?”

“We are punished in life for our actions. Why should we be punished again at death?”

Gale couldn’t help but look at her curiously, as if trying to look for her own punishments and misdeeds and yet he understood her perfectly. His own consequences were the orb, the loss of Mystra. He was fated to die and that in itself would be an end to his own penance. “You believe that death is peace?”

She hadn’t thought of it that way, not since Thomas and all that had occurred. “Yeah… It’s not that it’s darkness or nothingness, but yeah, it’s peace.” She took a breath and unravelled her hand from the blanket, placing it to Gale’s chest. The orb hummed beneath her palm, a glimmer of light emerging with her touch. “It’s peace in here.”

He brought his hand from her knee to rest on top of hers on his chest. She didn’t pull away or flinch and for that, all he could do was savour the feeling of her soft skin under his. She’d touched him herself, trusted him like no other had before. “Does that peace exist in life or only death?”

Her eyes met his, the deep purple once again merging with the shades of brown she’d come to lose herself in. She felt as if the world had stopped. No longer were there the sounds of the crackling fire next to them, or the insects that chirped from the trees. She knew the answer to his question without even having to think about it, knew that he didn’t even need to ask as he felt it too. There was not just punishment in life, but also reward. A moment of peace lost in time, an encounter witnessed only by the stars.

[darkpoisonouslove]

🥀 favorite angst quote from a published fic

🍎 favorite angst quote from a wip

🍌 favorite funny quote from a wip

🥀 favorite angst quote from a published fic

sorry for quoting half the story

Griffin had conflated her refusal to give the three young witches a chance–for her own peace of mind–with lack of belief in her. A horrible oversight that had hung over their heads for far too long. Especially in the face of their possible death. Protecting their hearts would hardly matter if one of them stopped beating soon.

“I actually wanted to talk about us.” Faragonda hesitated, fingers falling motionless at the windowsill at the threat of pricking herself to blood on Griffin’s dismissal. As if the years of silence didn’t ring hollow in her chest where she’d stuffed her passive hope instead of the words Griffin had refused her. This could be her last chance. Their last chance. “I missed you.”

Griffin turned at that, her lips parted like she hadn’t decided what would be allowed to leave them. Faragonda wasn’t sure if the witch wouldn’t laugh at her.

“Jumping from my biggest mistake right to the second best?” she asked instead and the forced amusement of the words was like a slap in the face. Maybe it would’ve been better if she’d laughed at her. “If you’re trying to make me feel better, Fara,” the pet name made her heart flutter, “it’s not working.”

- from Peace and Quiet (revamped)

🍎 favorite angst quote from a wip

“So wonderful to see you,” Marion pulled off a smile not any different from those with which she regarded her counselors and allies, yet it was too natural to feel anything but fake and grotesque.

They were not supposed to be this used to seeing her on their side, in their home, at their breakfast table.

She could nod stiffly, keep to mirroring Oritel whose presence wasn’t bothersome to Marion even now that his body language was that of a statue and his aura – dark like a storm cloud. But that she could have done in her room, by herself. She’d already troubled them all with her presence.

“You’ve seen me every day for the past three months. There’s no need for pleasantries to convince me of your hospitality.”

She wouldn’t blame them for being sick of having to look at her. She herself was sick of it.

- from The Company of Light Trying to Have One Normal Breakfast

🍌 favorite funny quote from a wip

Mike made it stoically through her outpour of anxiety and surprised her with a sigh of relief once she slowed down to take a breath. “And here I thought I wouldn’t be very helpful with all the magic-related concerns you were bound to have. I can definitely do emotional regulation and boy talk.”

Bloom laughed so hard her eyes filled with tears.

“Listen, Bloom, the odds are stacked perfectly in your favor. If you do anything that makes your classmates look at you weird, you just tell them that’s how we do things on Earth. How are they going to know you’re making it up? You might even set a new trend or two.”

Bloom almost choked on the giggles bursting from her. She couldn’t help it. The image of everyone watching her stumble into every single piece of furniture in her way like it was some kind of elaborate Earth ritual was certainly something. She could even get Stella and the girls in on her act to mess with their classmates.

“And you tell prince Sky that your dad taught you to always step on the toes of your dance partners to weed out the ones that aren’t gentlemen enough to pretend nothing happened.”

Bloom coughed, her lungs struggling for precious air. “You’re the best dad in the whole universe, dad.”

- from the Winx rewrite, 1x03, "Draw Your Wings"

[movingonup-diary]

I am so sad for my inner child. I literally feel so much grief for her, it’s my job to be the parent she deserves. My mum always had complex emotional needs that needed to be unpacked and rewired. Instead of getting the help she needed, I mean mental health was a myth in a Nigerian household, she instead made her children and husband attend to her emotional world. It’s so bad that my emotional world can only exist through an outpouring online, underneath the covers of my room or through overthinking. I find some much joy in experiencing the world with others but inside, am I happy? What does a happy internal world feel like?

I came into this relationship with a deep fear that I will be her toxic ex. Because I didn’t truly know myself. Now I know what that toxicity looks like. If I never met her, I would still have my friend. Somewhat, I’m resentful and grateful because all that was revealed was a side of my friend that I couldn’t accept. Her dark side is my trigger. To have my reality or side of the story denied because she’s too selfish to feel compersion for me. I don’t feel like I can trust people anymore. But do I have to? I trust God, humans will always be humans. Even me, this week I have been my intimidating shadow that has now scared my friends. But this shadow is how I speak with confidence and enter the spaces I am in. I am scared of no one. Especially not my mum. She needs me more than I need her. She’s already shown her hand many times. The only thing is I don’t learn into my power, the vindictive spirit I have to fuck up her toxic family system. I’m still protecting her from a total breakdown by staying tightly in my role. It’s my certainty. I fear uncertainty. What if I am harmed by others by trusting them too much?

But I am not a bitch. I will deal with the uncertainties of life by keep my principles. I don’t like being perceived as a people pleaser anymore. I like being perceived as reasonable, kind, forgiving, nurturing, helpful and a good confidant. But people pleaser no, everyone must proceed with their base lowered and ultimate guidance because I will cuss. This is also why I’m just not sure about the friendships in that group anymore. I would rather meet people one on one, people only cared about keeping up the dynamic than the fact my friend and I feel out. Did they even reach out to her to check on her? Yes I said mad shit but hearing her out does matter, even if I know she will lie. They thought I was asking her take sides, whereas I know I was taking a stand against her bullying someone with a chronic health issue and spreading a rumour and manipulation to get me to see my love interest in negative light for having her safe zones. Does the dynamic matter more than addressing bad behaviour head on? Than holding her accountable. That’s all I cared about. I assumed they had the same principles considering all the performance they do for celeb abusers. But maybe I’m projecting. But just fuck everyone. But I’m keeping the peace still. I will be investing more into my new relationships. Esp when it comes to work. I need to get into my mindstate of hustling and hustling hard. I know how to get everything going. I need to learn into everything with every fibre of my being. I don’t have time for friends that aren’t serious. That aren’t aligned with the greater mission to make a better world. They have failed the test fr.s

I think their anxiety comes from not being actually able to live up to my values. A lot of them do not support my work and it lowkey sucks. I let it be but I need more vitalising relationships, I am settling so so much. Even seeing my girl and her friends and how they pour into one another. Only very few people give me that. I need to invest more in strengthening this than reliance unfulfilling old dynamics. My roller skating club is the source of my enjoyment with friends and new friends. I am hanging out to the old rather than embracing the new where I get a lot of happiness. The old friendship dynamics is again this same thing if playing this role to reduce the anxieties of people with severe anxiety issues. They do not want to be perceived, I do want to be perceived because I want to be heard and listened to. I want to embody the voice of oppression as a powerful force change in perspectives. I want to guide the next generation of leaders. I want to open up the portals for the worlds healing through the processing of my own pain born of generations of abject poverty in Nigerian. I don’t aspire to stand on the shoulders of great leaders, I already am great by just existing, being where I am at, being alive.

[esfawkes]

I received a lot of replies on my last post, as well as asks and messages, and I want to thank everyone who took the time to be so wonderfully kind and supportive. I read every single word, and I am so incredibly grateful.

Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart. <3

[cherievol6]

crying in the backseat

DAMNNN this one hurt kind of. inspired by one of my fave lana songs ever. i wrote this really fast, so it’s not edited, but enjoy. also my uk girlies how are we dealing with this heatwave, i for one cannot move x

PART TWO IS NOW UP!

warnings: swearing, loving someone unattainable

word count: around 1000

.

"Let me at least get you a jumper, you're shivering." He muttered, unlocking his sleek black car in the car park and grabbing it from the boot. You feel embarrassment try and edge its way in, but you’re not regretful for barging into the bar and confronting Harry.

“Don’t try and pretend like you care about me right now, Harry.”

He slams the boot shut and looks at you with a frown. “What the fuck are you talking about? Of course I care about you.”

“Oh I’m sorry, skipping your best friend’s birthday meal for your ex-girlfriend’s party-”

“PR girlfriend.” He seethes.

“-deserves a fucking Saint’s award, my mistake.” You roll your eyes, turning your head away when he wraps the jacket over your shoulders.

“She told me it was a work thing! Something about some legal shit we need to re-sign about the whole PR thing.”

“And that couldn’t have waited?” You snap. “I shouldn’t have to find you in some random bar in Soho, whilst I’m already upset that the one person I wanted to show up tonight didn’t.” Your voice goes higher and higher in octave as you reach the end of your sentence, your throat closing up and sinuses blocking to prepare an outpouring of tears. You were gutted, especially after seeing his tattooed arm in the corner of a video of his ex girlfriend cheering and pouring shots whilst you were holding back tears at your birthday dinner.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding.” Sarah mumbles, prying your phone from your fingertips and glaring down at the phone with a stoned face.

“I thought he was at a meeting-” you say quietly, looking around to see if anyone noticed the commotion.

“Oh Y/N. I’m so sorry.” She panders you as you feel tears springing to their ducts. You fan your eyes discreetly and Sarah ushers you off to the bathroom.

“I can’t keep doing this. I think he has feelings for her, Sar.”

“You don’t know that, Y/N. Their relationship was to boost her new book, remember? If he had feelings for her, they’d be dating right now.” She says pointedly with an eyebrows raised, patting away your running mascara.

“Why are feelings so shit?”

“I don’t know, but I think life’s to short to not tell someone you love them. You might just get a surprise.”

“I’m sorry. How many times do I need to say it?” He pleads. “I genuinely thought this was a business meeting, that’s why I told you. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

You don’t reply, looking out at the bustling streets and wiping your eyes.

“And how am I supposed to believe you? You’re not giving me much convincing evidence that you’re a reliable person, Harry.”

He’s silent for a moment, eyes taking in your body closed off in defence, completely opposite to how relaxed and close you usually are with him.

"I think we should call a taxi." His voice breaks as he says it, sighing and tapping away on his phone, trying to ignore the tears that were free falling from your eyes.

You hug his sweatshirt closer around your body as the cries silently rack your body, he doesn't even stand close to you. His perfectly tailored suit mocks your feeble state and you feel the most out place you've ever felt. Here you are, crying your pathetic eyes out whilst Harry's watch is ticking down the time that he's away from his celebrity life, a private bar bustling with big names that mean so much more than you.

“Trying to get rid of me now?”

"What? No! You’re worked up and need to go home. Please stop crying." He softens, trying to reach out his arm. You scoff at his audacity to tell you to stop, when he was the perpetrator for your emotional state.

"Fuck off." You mutter, stepping away and trying to pull his jumper off you. He looks more than hurt at your words, but you can’t bring yourself to be nice to him.

"Stop it, for God's sake, it's too cold for you to be out here without a jacket." He huffs as he tugs the black zip up back over your shoulders despite your protests.

Moments of silence pass as the noise from the surrounding streets fills your ears.

“You need to learn your priorities, Harry.”

“You are one of my priories! You’re literally one of the only people, who isn’t my blood, that I care about.” He’s frustrated now, hands raking through his hair.

“Don’t spew that bullshit at me, if I was, you would have been there.” And you would love me back, you wanted to add, but couldn’t muster up the courage.

The tears begin to dry and you pinch the side of your thigh to shake yourself back to earth, trying to get your thoughts straight. You suck in a shaky breath and let out the final point you had been wanting to make for months after a multitude of occasions when Harry decided to prioritise his work over your commitments.

“Y/N-”

“I think we should put some distance between us for a bit. I need to get my head straight.” You say firmly through the stuffiness of your throat. He gapes, unable to come up with something to say, his own eyes brimming with tears.

“No, please. I don’t want to put distance between us, Y/N. You’re my best friend- I can’t do this without you, y’know.” His speech is frantic now. The word best friend drives an imaginary stake through the centre of your chest.

“You have other friends, Harry. Lots of other friends, that apparently you have more time for than me.”

The taxi, or rather, Harry’s casual chauffeur, mounts the gravel, signalling the end of a conversation.

“Y/N, let me come with you, I have something important to talk to you about-”

“I don’t want you to come with me.” You say quietly. I do.

“Please.” He tries again, eyes bloodshot and teary. This strikes up the waterworks in your body as well, and you simply shake your head, climbing into the back and slamming the door.

“Hi, Y/N.” Harry’s driver greets you through the mirror, and you smile back, asking him politely to take you home.

As he’s pulling out from the parking spot, you glance out the window with bleary eyes and jot tears streaming down your face, seeing Harry stood there like a ghost. His posture makes him seem defeated, eyes looking at the back window sadly, unable to see you through the blackout of the glass.

In the rear view mirror you see Jeff stalk outside, and although they’re far, you don’t miss him embrace Harry tightly, prompting you to look away and grip his jumper between your fingers, thinking about the words Sarah said to you.

.

PART TWO IS NOW UP!

[rocorambles]

Two Wrongs Equal a Right

Pairing: Bakugo x Reader

Prompt: Eavesdropping

Summary: Eavesdropping isn’t right, but maybe...just maybe sometimes the end justifies the means

A/N: This is for the Anylisum’s SFW collab. Masterlist can be found here. Enjoy!

You giggle, laying your head on Tsu’s shoulder as you catch your breath from the impromptu dance party happening in the dorm room led by no other than Mina. You love the boys, but this is nice, hanging out with just the girls, chatting about fashion and makeup, doing face masks and braiding hair, pretending you’re just normal high school girls and not heroes in training. The boys had sulked, pouting and complaining about why all of you couldn’t hang out together like you always do. But all of you had just smiled and cheekily waved as you locked the dorm room shut behind you.

They’ll be fine. You’re sure they’ll find something to bond over themselves and you laugh at the thought of them doing some impromptu sparring or shouting at each other over a video game.

Yes, they’ll be just fine doing something normal high school boys do. Definitely not quietly crowding around the other side of the dorm door, trying to eavesdrop on what all of you are saying and doing like they’re doing right now.

The boys of class 1-A aren’t nearly as subtle as they think they are accidentally banging foreheads and elbowing each other to try and press their ears against the vertical surface. But luckily for them the combination of the music and your voices drown out their scuffling and they eagerly listen in, curiosity keeping their attention rooted to the commotion on the other side of the barrier.

“That’s not fair. I want to dance too!”

“Shut up, Aoyama! They’re going to hear you.”

The hushed bickering continues as the boys continue to subtly bop their head to the music, trying to make out the snippets of conversation between the rhythmic beat and laughter. But they all freeze, even attempting to quiet down their breathing as the music finally stops.

Is the night over? Do they need to make a run for it before the door opens and they’re caught red handed?

Their questions are answered when after some scuffling and movement the girls resume talking and there’s a palpable sense of relief as the boys relax, leaning in once more to decipher what’s being said.

What girls night would be complete without boy talk? You all knew this topic was bound to come up in this safe all-female haven, but there’s still a tittering of nervous and shy giggles when Ashido brings up the topic with a mischievous grin plastered across her face.

It takes some prodding and some patience, but to no one’s surprise Uraraka is the first to speak up and you all smile knowingly when she begins to ramble on and on about Deku, how much she respects him, how observant he is, how hardworking he is…

“We get it. You like Deku! Seriously it would be shocking if you two didn’t eventually start dating.”

“Think about how cute that would be! A romantic hero couple fighting villains and saving the world together.”

Uraraka’s face is so red you think she might burst, but you hide a smile at the fact that there isn’t even a hint or sound of denial from her as she accepts the good-natured teasing. Unknown to all of you, Deku’s face matches Urarka’s extreme shade of red and the boys smile and nudge him playfully, waggling their eyebrows teasingly.

The light-hearted banter has broken the ice and Momo is the next one to open up, demurely looking at the ground and swiping a stray bang behind her ear as she quietly praises Todoroki for his amazing skills and how rapidly he’s learned and improved during his time at U.A. But what she isn’t expecting is the outpouring of support she herself receives from all the girls about how smart and resourceful she is and how quick on her feet she is. And Todoroki silently nods his head in affirmation of the deserved recognition she receives.

One by one everyone shares their thoughts on their male counterparts, but it’s Ashido who makes everyone burst into laughter once more when she practically screams her approval of Kaminari and Kirishima and how cool and manly they can be, imitating their signature moves as best as she can to everyone’s amusement.

However it doesn’t go unnoticed how Bakugo’s name isn’t brought up and it just seems right to bring him into the conversation if the other two musketeers are being discussed. There’s thoughtful pondering and the girls quiet down as they think of their blonde classmate.

“He’s smart and talented.”

“He’s pretty good looking.”

But there’s an almost unanimous vote that his temper is a little bit...scary. Almost.

The boys try their hardest to stifle their howls of laughter as Bakugo begins to deeply scowl, looking like he’s ready to storm away. But everyone shuts up, eyes going wide when your voice travels through the air.

“I actually think his attitude is kind of cute. He’s like an angry chihuahua. All bark, no bite.”

There’s silence as everyone on both sides of the door processes your words, even Bakugo looks uncharacteristically stunned. And then there’s chaos as the girls begin to loudly question your sanity and the boys hold back a raging Bakugo who’s seconds away from kicking down the door and confronting you.

Needless to say there is no more eavesdropping done that night as it takes the entire male population of 1-A to wrestle Bakugo away and safely back to his dorm room.

Cute? CUTE?

Bakugo can’t remember the last time anyone has called him that damned word, if anyone ever has. Not even his own mother has called him anything remotely as nauseatingly endearing as that recently. There’s nothing about him that’s cute. He’s not cute. He HATES anything cute. Yet as he’s barricaded in his room and forced to mull over your words in solitude, it’s not pure rage and indignation that fills him to his own surprise.

He’s not sure exactly what he’s feeling if he’s honest and that only pisses him off more. Anger is something he knows and holds close. But this...this strange, disgusting, fluttering feeling in his stomach? He doesn’t know what that is and he grumpily forces himself to sleep, to leave all these stupid thoughts and feelings behind him. Tomorrow will be just another day of class and you’ll just be another classmate he’s forced to tolerate as he focuses on becoming a hero.

Except tomorrow does come and you aren’t just another nobody like you were before.

Unlike before where he barely even noticed your presence and walked past you like you were nonexistent, too focused on perfecting his moves, he can’t stop being aware of you. He finds himself watching you without even meaning to, observing your movements, the use of your quirk…

“Kacchan, watch out!”

Turns out even when he’s entranced by you, Deku’s damn annoying voice is enough to drag him out of his funk and he narrowly misses the debris about to rain down on him.

“What’s up, Bakugo? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you distracted-”

“I’m not distracted!”

He is distracted and he can feel his short fuse nearing its limit with every uncharacteristic stumble and sloppy movement as he can’t tear his eyes from you. And when Aizawa-sensei awkwardly tells him to maybe consider sitting out a bit until his head is clear he loses it.

Under all the rage, common sense tells him this isn’t your fault, that he’s wrongly directing his ire at you. But Bakugo clings onto his temper, that fire inside of him that fuels most of his decisions as he storms towards you and shouts at you to spar with him.

He knows he’s being too hard on you, punching and kicking you harder than he even goes against Kirishima and his hardening quirk. And he even feels a pang of guilt when he sees you wince when his fist grazes you as you try to dodge. But you don’t tell him to stop, just looking at him with determined, focused eyes holding a shocking amount of trust that he won’t take it too far and actually harm you despite how his irritation is almost visible.

It’s the same look stupid Deku looks at him with, but he doesn’t feel that familiar buildup of anger rising inside of him. Instead he feels that same strange fluttering feeling deep inside of him and his heart is racing more than it should be for the amount he’s worked out today. It’s all so...confusing and to everyone’s shock, it’s Bakugo who abruptly ends your weird impromptu spar with a scoff, shoving his hands in his pocket as he saunters away, trademark scowl on his face.

That’s only the beginning of Bakugo’s strange behavior and everyone watches anxiously as the angry blonde borderline begins to bully you on a constant basis, practically hovering next to you from the moment you leave your dorm room to the minute you go to sleep at night, growling, shouting, and even just glaring at you. But no one steps in, curious about how things will play out when they see how unbothered you are by your new volatile shadow.

Bakugo doesn’t know what reaction he expected of you. Maybe a slight hint of fear? At least some respect? But he certainly wasn’t expecting how calmly you accept your new fate, how casually you interact with him.

He’s forced to silently blink in shock as his jaw rapidly works to chew the fried egg you’ve stuffed in his mouth when he angrily tells you to sit somewhere else, deciding he wants your seat despite the bounty of empty chairs surrounding the both of you in the cafeteria. (He ends up just grumpily sitting in the available spot next to you when he finally swallows, both of you quietly munching on your breakfast together.)

But although your exchanges start off fairly one-sided with Bakugo usually trying to incite some reaction from you, everyone watches in amusement when you begin to meet him halfway. The blonde is mouthing off at you about something or another during sparring exercises which has become a typical background noise to the class by now, but everyone, including Aizawa-sensei stops in their tracks when your voice interrupts Bakugo’s rant.

“Maybe you’d be able to perfect your new technique if you spent more time practicing and less time barking at me.”

There’s a playful smirk on your face as you utter those fighting words and Aizawa wonders if today is the day he’ll have to prevent Bakugo from committing a truly villainous event. But even his jaw drops when all Bakugo does is scoff at your statement, barking at you to follow him to both your preferred area of the training grounds to resume practicing together.

Both of you look almost...friendly, exchanging punches and kicks, no heat behind Bakugo’s snarky comments, a smile on your face when you give it to him right back verbally. The upperclassmen and the pro-hero faculty watch in amused fondness as overtime Bakugo’s glowering and barking lulls down to a muted calm grumpiness as he continues to trail beside you. He’s not too different than a tamed feral kitten (not that any of them would voice that thought aloud and risk being blasted to pieces).

And as time continues on, everyone gets used to the fact that the two of you seem joined at the hip. You’re just...always together in a strange amicable friendship? Partnership? Relationship? No one knows how to exactly describe it and maybe that’s what finally leads to you overhearing an interesting conversation one morning in the dorms.

You yawn as you make your way to the common room to see who else is up, but you pause before you turn the corner from your hallway when you hear Kirishima mention your name.

“So what’s going on between the two of you. Are you dating?”

You don’t even have to peek around the bend to know who he’s talking to and your face heats up, ears perking up in anxious curiosity as you wait for Bakugo’s response. Realistically, you know you shouldn’t expect much. But it doesn’t make it hurt any less when you wait for Bakugo to shut Kirishima’s well-meaning thought down with a rude “why would I go out with that nobody” or some similar derogatory comment aimed at the idea of dating you or anyone for that matter.

Yet there’s only silence and a secret smile spreads across your face when all Bakugo finally responds with is a quiet scoff and a “it’s none of your business”.

“That’s not a no!”

“Shut up!”

Your heart is pounding as hope blossoms inside of it and you slowly countdown from ten, taking deep breaths to calm yourself down, schooling your face into as neutral an expression as possible. When your excess giddy energy is under some semblance of control, you make your presence known, bidding good morning to both boys and teasingly ruffling Bakugo’s spiky hair in a more affectionate version of a noogie. And Kirishima is left with a gaping jaw as he watches Bakugo merely roll his eyes at your antics and grunt here and there in response to your rambling as the two of you make your way to the cafeteria for breakfast together.

[the-hidden-pages]

Misread Affections - Laszlo Kreizler/Fem!Reader SMUT

I started at midnight. I had 0 words. It’s 4:30am. I have 4643 words because I have fallen deeply for Doctor Laszlo Kreizler. Forgive me for this.

Synopsis: With all your history together, you and Doctor Kreizler believe you understand each other. Yet when you believe him to be infatuated with Karen Stratton, and he believes you to have affection for Marcus Isaacson, you’re both stunned when you find yourselves to be proven wrong.

Warnings: NSFW. Desk Sex. Dirty Talk. Patient-to-Friend-to-Lover. Definite depression and general self-loathing.

SPOILERS FOR THE SECOND SEASON!!!!!!

You had always admired the man Doctor Laszlo Kreizler was.

He championed those who could not champion themselves. He worked tirelessly to understand the minds of criminals. To those very same criminals, and many others that lived as outcasts to society, he would offer kindness and understanding. At his best he was beyond intelligent and, daresay, sweet.

At his worst, he was ruthless, and his own self-loathing would have him come across as unempathetic most days. While preaching to others to care for himself, he would often forego his own care. While offering an ear and a receptive mind, he would refuse to offer himself the same.

You knew this within mere days of knowing Doctor Kreizler. And such facts made you rather fond of him.

A fondness that was not helped by his handsome build, his dark locks, his scrutinizing gaze.

And yet no part of you could justify ever acting upon this fondness.

You had come to him both as a patient and a colleague. You had always been aware of a darkness within yourself, ever since you were a child. This darkness had only grown, too often all-consuming, leaving you. a dysfunction wreck of a human being. However, you had an obligation to keep going, a promise you had sworn to your sister to continue your own existence. So, exist you did.

While your family’s fortune wasn’t enough to send you to Harvard, like the Doctor himself, it did allow for you to be a reasonably educated woman of the times. A deep fascination in understanding your own darkness led you to the work of alienists, and eventually to the work of Doctor Kreizler.

While you couldn’t often justify breaking societal rules to such an extent, you found yourself motivated enough to call upon the Doctor with a proposition – should he aide you in understanding your own illness of the brain, you would offer any services you could to the Kreizler Institute.

You could tell he was curious of you. A woman of your standing did not often make such demands with such authority, nor so blatantly admit to her own illnesses. He quickly agreed, eager to study why you considered yourself so damaged, and happy to take on an extra set of hands with the children he looked after.

Over time, you begun to slip effortlessly into Doctor Kreizler’s life.

You met the likes of Cyrus and Stevie, along with many others that worked at the Institute. You were then blown away by the strength within Miss Sara Howard, and the pure, undiluted love that Mister John Schuyler Moore could show others. You were even called upon on several occasions to be a fresh set of eyes, the murders of young boy prostitutes and kidnappings of babies not deterring you, to the surprise and reluctant joy of the Doctor.

And as Doctor Kreizler studied you, you studied him.

You slowly learned of all the emotion he kept hidden behind the façade of professionalism. The kindness, the love, the anger, the fear. While he showed none of these most days, occasionally a concoction of such feeling would burst in an overwhelming outpour.

In offering him a platonic safe space, a place for him to talk through such outbursts should he wish, he in turn aided you.

The darkness you felt for so long began to subside some days, and between the efforts of him and a passing remark from John, you learned of an outlet for your darker thoughts – writing.

While expressing your own emotions and turmoil did not come easy, you found it far simpler when written down on paper, as opposed to spoken aloud to a judging room.

Doctor Kreizler gifted you a beautiful leather-bound journal a mere day after this revelation, with the request that you record your thoughts. He promised he would not read it unless you requested him to as an act of therapy.

For many days, you allowed him to read any thoughts that came to mind.

Thoughts of blood, of death, of pain and anger. Thoughts of a stolen childhood, of worthlessness, of longing.

Many days when he read your pages, you would be silently crying as he did, fearful of his judgement. But it never came.

Instead, he would close the book silently, and offer you professional advice.

One particularly rough day, in which your narrative was beyond vicious to you, he closed the book before finishing, and offered you something you didn’t expect – an embrace.

He hugged you so tightly, that for once…

Your inner monologue ceased.

His own, however, raged on.

How could you think so lowly of yourself, he wondered? While he could understand mindsets built from trauma, he couldn’t help but wish you could see yourself through his own eyes. Your empathy when you cared for the children in the Institute. Your intelligence when conversing with Miss Howard. Your artistic delight when laughing with John. And the perspective, the warmth you offered such a broken man such as himself.

Neither of you knew, in that exact moment, that the other was realizing the fondness you both held in your hearts for each other.

And neither of you knew how truly broken the other felt at their core.

Two souls, believing themselves to be undeserving of love, finding it in their hearts for the other.

When the beautiful, cunning Doctor Karen Stratton entered the picture, you asked Doctor Kreizler to refrain from reading your journal.

He was hurt by this, but profession and courtesy claimed that he could not show it.

You began to withdraw from him, placing your entire focus on the case of the stolen babies and your focus on the children in the Institute. Kreizler, in his own difficulties of potentially losing the said Institute, took notice of your own withdrawal from your sessions, but held enough hope that you had found stability to care for yourself. You still conversed with Sara, you smiled with John. You had even been introduced to the Isaacsons, and he had wondered if you had taken a liking to Marcus.

You deserved a young man such as him, he told himself, heart heavy. A whole, young man with enough strength to support you.

And on the night of Marcus’ death, he believed it to be confirmed.

He found you alone, in his study where you so often had your sessions with him. You were curled inwards on yourself, clutching your journal as though it were your lifeline, sobbing uncontrollably.

He moved to console you, arms holding you tightly.

“It’s all too much,” you choked out, unable to articulate much more.

 Doctor Kreizler nodded, waiting for you to be able to go on.

You regained some breath with difficulty. “I just…I can’t stand to lose a friend. Not after everything else lately.”

 “I know how difficult it can be, to lose one you love…” Kreizler began, not noticing how your sobs stopped in confusion. “After Mary, I…Well I swore I would never again…The point is, I-“ he stopped short.

You had spluttered out a laugh.

 Your hand covered your mouth immediately, noticing what had just happened. You immediately moved to cover it up, wiping away your tears and standing up away from him. “No, no, Doctor. Heavens, Marcus…well, he was loved but, I saw…I see the Isaacsons as brothers I never had. He was dear to me but…not in the sense I suspect that Mary was to you.”

 “I…see…” Doctor Kreizler pulled back, sitting in his study chair as he gazed at you. “Apologies, I seem to have misread your relationship. Nonetheless, his death has greatly affected you, as it has all of us. I suspect it will be a very difficult grieving process, but…” he manages a soft, rare smile that warmed your heart. “We will endure it together, as we have these cases.”

“Will we?” your voice grew empty as your thoughts swirled.

He titled his head, unsure of where this was leading. You gathered your courage to question him.

“Rumour has it, Doctor Stratton has asked you to join her in Vienna. I wonder if you’ll go.”

 Silence falls over the room.

 Laszlo couldn’t understand what this had to do with anything. Your crying, your distress over Marcus. What did his leaving have to do with any of your distress?

 “You’re greatly upset by something,” he eventually said, gazing at you with a more analytical eye than before. “I’m afraid you give me too much credit, if you think I know the specifics of it.”

“I-“ you stopped, clearing your throat as you choked up. Your knuckles turned white on your journal’s edges, hands shaking. “Doctor Kreizler-“

“It’s been months since we’ve known each other,” he interrupts, “and we haven’t held a session together in nearly five weeks. Would it pain you to call me Laszlo? Are we not…friends?”

You gaped at him, but his face remained unreadable.

  You shake your head. “Yes, it…it would pain me. It would pain me a great deal, Doctor – it does pain me a great deal to hear you call me a friend when…”

“When what?” he prompts you sharply, and you inhale quickly.

“When I feel I’ve been dishonest with you, unkind to you…” had the room not been dead still, Laszlo might have missed the next words you whispered. “I feel I’ve been perverse to you.”

 If he was confused, he didn’t show it. And you were talking now, the words spilling out, a cascade unable to end.

“I feel as though…had Marcus not…died…tonight, I might never have done this. But then my mind, it began spinning so quickly I couldn’t stop it, and I couldn’t help but imagine countless scenarios in which Libby, in which the Dusters, in which…well, in which any number of causes might take your life as well. In which you might die before…before I can confess…” You huff, your words getting caught once again. With a determined move, your arm shot out to pass your journal to him, and Kreizler takes note of a particular page being creased.

 He looks up at you, but you don’t meet his eye.

“I’ve marked where I want you to start reading. Just…go from there. Inform me when you’re finished.”

You walk over to the window, desperate to be distracted, as Doctor Kreizler opens the book and reads at your request.

           He can’t comprehend what he’s reading at first.

           While he had grown accustomed to your twisted perception of yourself, he hadn’t realized just how ruthless the self-loathing could take you. Endless doubt of your friendships with the team, with your position as a caretaker, in your abilities to be a friend.            And as words continue, he realizes your doubts in being a partner, a lover.

           If he grows flustered at the words he reads, he’s determined not to show it to you.

           He reads your envy of women like Sara Howard, able to move forward with such strength and certainty, and of Karen Stratton, so brash, so forward. Your envy is strong towards her, in her abilities to understand sexuality, passion, human desire, and in…

           In her connection to himself.

           His eyes widen as your own ramblings seem to uncover a truth you hadn’t explored before – your attraction to the Doctor that had aided you, offered you employment. The pure taboo of such affections, yet your inability to stop it. Your adoration, your admiration for the intimidating, raw man that he was. How you felt unworthy, that you would hold him back, that he deserved a woman as delightful as Doctor Stratton, a woman who could stimulate him academically, that could pleasure him physically. How you felt so deeply ashamed of harbouring such elicit fantasies of the man that had been nothing but kind to you. How you loved him so deeply it made you want to die, because you would never be deserving –

           You heard the journal snapping shut, and you couldn’t bring yourself to face the Doctor, knowing what he must’ve read, dreading what he must now be thinking.

           The silence lasted far longer than you would’ve liked, but you couldn’t bring yourself to speak.

           “I find myself taken aback more often than I like,” Kreizler’s voice shatters the still air. “I believe myself to be so wise, so understanding of the mind, and yet I come across a mind such as yours that I…I truly cannot fathom how you think what you think.”

           “I’m sorry,” you start, voice breaking as tears begin to flow again.

           You nearly jump out of your skin when you feel a hand on your own. You don’t dare to turn around, frozen like a rabbit having been sniffed out by a hound.

           “You think me to be attracted to Doctor Stratton, am I correct?”

           You nod. Of course, he was. Was it not obvious?

           “Karen and I are colleagues, and friends, should I be too bold to assume so. I can recognize that she is a physically beautiful woman, yes, and I’m sure some day she will make a man a very happy husband, should she wish. But her and I have a kinship, a partnership, not unlike what I believe you and Marcus might have had, that I too misinterpreted as love.”

           You sniff, closing your eyes tightly. What was he trying to tell you?

           Doctor Kreizler spins you around slowly, leading you to face him.

           “I do not harbour half the affection in my heart for Doctor Stratton as I do for you.”

           You freeze. “Doctor-“

           “Please,” he reaches up to cup your face, wiping away several of the tears that had fallen. “Please call me Laszlo. You are not the only one to have an epiphany after the loss of our friend, my dear. If you are being so honest with me, I feel it only right to offer you the same.”

           “Laszlo…” you whisper, meeting his eyes for the first time since he read your words. His heart breaks with the pain within them. “How can you do this? Look at me, hold me, when you see how broken I am? I’m undeserving-“

           “You would choose to love, to care for a cripple, a shell of a man in the eyes of society. A man who has too often neglected the children he cares for, often spat in the face of those he dares to call his friends. If either of us is undeserving of the other’s love, my dear, it’s me.”

           Your brows furrow angrily, reaching up to mirror him, cupping his own face with both of yours. “Laszlo Kreizler you stop that right now, I won’t hear any more of…you’re smiling. How could you be smiling?”

           He leans into one of your hands affectionately, a rare, dashing smile lighting up his features in a way you cherished to see, despite the circumstances. “Perhaps we are both wrong. Perhaps…perhaps we need each other, to use each other’s eyes and hearts to understand who we truly are. We both have such lowly opinions of ourselves but…perhaps it was meant to be.”

           Your own smile was beginning to form, despite your best efforts, as your brain’s screaming of all that could go wrong began to quieten.

           “I hesitate to believe in fate, Doctor…” you trail off, taking a step closer, your heart filled with hope and eyes filled with wonder. “I hesitate further to admit to needing someone, and yet…my brain is only ever kind and quiet when I’m around you.”

           Laszlo’s weaker arm rests on your hip, while the thumb of the hand caressing your face moves to trace your chin. “My language is not as…poetic, as yours, my dear,” he confesses, and you both chuckle, “but I very much would like to kiss you, with your permission.”

           “Laszlo, you could do anything to me,” you confess, reaching forward to finally meet his lips.

           It’s messy, and uncoordinated, but any lack of experience the pair of you may have is made up for by the pure, electric eagerness that overtakes the both of you. You’re both exploring, testing each other, in some give and take dance that does not seem to quell any emotions within you, instead quite the opposite.

           You could kiss him forever, you quickly realize.

           But by some cruel twist of fate, you have to pull away, air taking priority.

           You stare wildly at him as he breathes heavily, eyes darker than you had ever seen, with a sense of uncertainty that you hadn’t ever seen about him before.

           A teasing smile finds its way onto your face, as you can’t help but test your luck.

           “How far, exactly, did you read in my book?”

           He blinks at you a couple of times, uncertain of your line of questioning. “I read of your jealousy, of your shame, I don’t…I don’t believe I finished it all, I found I had to address the issue before I continued –“

           “Would you like to know what else was in there?”

           Laszlo appeared flustered as you led him back to his plush chair, and you knelt down between his legs to pick up the book that had fallen to the ground. You don’t offer it to him, however, instead putting it aside.

           “My dear, I don’t –“

           “I ask you to stop me, if my advances are too…forward to you, Laszlo.”

           You slowly rise from your place, moving to lift your skirts so you might position yourself above the Doctor, straddling him in his chair. As if on its own accord, his good hand rises to situate on your waist tightly. You gently grasp his weaker hand, his “broken wing”, and lift it to your mouth, delicately kissing the palm, each finger.

           Laszlo mutters your name, transfixed by your mouth’s movements.

           “I would love every part of you,” you begin, continuing your assault of affection as you whisper against the part of him, he views as most broken. “I would care for you in every capacity in which I’m capable. I would strive to be deserving of you in every which way.” You drop his hand and lean forward, hands grasping the back of the chair as you hold his gaze. “I would have you claim every part of me, I would have your marks for the world to see, if you wished. I’ve dreamt of you and I in the most compromising positions that I dare not say, on nearly every surface of your study, my bedroom, the Institute. I would give you every single piece of me, Laszlo, every ounce of my attraction. I would give you my darkest sins and my deepest pleasure, if you would allow me too. Please, Doctor Kreizler, let me please you.”

           You didn’t know what you were expecting from your confession.

           Perhaps you wondered if he would push you away, exclaiming that your desires were too much, your words too sinful, and that he would cease associations with you immediately. Perhaps you thought he would scold you for being too wanton, too unbecoming of a woman of your standing. Perhaps you hoped the worst that would happen is he would kiss you softly and instruct that you both go to bed in separate rooms, that more carnal needs could be discussed at a later date.

           Never in your wildest dreams did you expect to feel Laszlo shift and harden beneath you, eyes growing so dark they were nearly completely black, and have him reach his hand to curl around the back of your neck.

           And you certainly didn’t expect the deep growl that escaped him as his lips, tongue, and teeth clashed with yours frantically, animalistically.

           Neither of you had experience, you both knew this.

           But you both knew what you wanted, what you needed, and that would be enough to motivate you.

           You both took what you could, Laszlo leaving your lips to reach what he could of your neck, lavishing it with lips and tongue. He explored expertly, quickly learning what you liked based upon the quickening of your breath, of your pulse. What was left of his analytical mind was fascinated by the chain reaction of events, how you spurred each other on.

           When he nipped at your ear, your hips rolled uncontrollably, and a rough groan escaped him unconsciously.

           Fascinating indeed.

           He panicked slightly when you stood, wondering if he had stepped too far. The panic raised as you strode across his study, heading quickly to the door.

           “Wait, my dear, I-“

           “Calm down, Laszlo,” you hushed him, and he heard a loud click of the door locking from where he sat. “I merely don’t wish to be interrupted. If this is still what you wish.”

           He leans back in his chair, breathing heavily, observing you as you stand once again before him. “I should be asking you what you want, my darling.”

           You grin, shaking your head. “Was my speech before not enough for you to know what I want, Doctor Kreizler? Can you not infer exactly what I want from you from the writings in my journal? It’s your turn to share, else I might just leave you like this.”

           His good hand involuntarily juts forward, grasping yours desperately.

           “Don’t you dare.”

           You giggle, and he smiles at the sound.

           “Then, tell me what you wish, Doctor.”

           “I wish…” he trails off, watching as your hands move upward to begin slowly undressing yourself.

           “Yes?” You prompt him teasingly, continuing your motions. “Don’t mind me.”

           Laszlo shifts in his chair, erection clearly visible by the bulge in his slacks. “I…I wish…” his voice trails off again as his eyes take in every inch of your skin that’s uncovered. “I wish to be with you in every manner. Intellectually, spiritually, physically. I wish to connect with you in a way I never will with any other living creature on this Earth. I wish to feel you around me, to bring you to climax. I wish to fill you, to be yours, to fuck you, to make you Mrs. Kreizler…”

           He stops at that, only becoming aware of his own ramblings you straddled him once again, completely nude.

           The faintest voice in his head wondered if you made him stupid, but it was silence as his eyes took you in completely.

           “You are the most gorgeous specimen I’ve ever been graced with seeing, my love.”

           You pull him in to a languid kiss, gently tasting each other as your hand travels down his chest.

           “You speak of love, of my being Mrs. Kreizler…” you start, almost losing your train of thought as you feel him twitch beneath you, your hips rolling to meet his. “Another day I’ll ask you to remind me of those words. But for now…” you lean forward, mouth grazing his ear, causing him to shiver. “I need you to fuck me, Doctor Laszlo Kreizler.”

           For all of your faith in him, you don’t expect the next feat of strength.

           With only his good arm he manages to lift the pair of you from the chair, quickly placing you upwards and onto the desk of his own study, mindless of the papers underneath you, of any others that might be in the building as you shriek in surprise.

           He captures your mouth with his, more forceful, captivating, as his good hand explores your form, grasping both of your breasts before heading downwards to the warmth between your thighs. His fingers collect some of the wetness that had escaped your folds and examines it with an almost mocking scientific fascination.

           “Is this all for me, my darling?” he questions, and you find yourself at a loss for words as he curiously lifts his fingers to his mouth, his tongue slowly tasting you off of them.

           “Fuck, Laszlo,” you whisper, reaching forward to pull him in for a kiss again as he chuckles darkly against you.

           His teasing ends when your hands wander downward, now working at the buttons of his slacks frantically, your palm grazing across his length through his pants, causing him to gasp.

           “My God,” he pants out, and you pull him out of his slacks. He’s hard, warm, rigid in your palm, with veins and girth that you hadn’t imagined in any of your fantasies, but was now all you could imagine filling you, ending that emptiness that you felt.

           “Please,” you whimper, and he gently removes your hand, before lining his cock up with your entrance.

           He meets your eyes, checking one last time to ensure this was what you wanted.

           “Laszlo, please –“your begging is cut short as he breaches you slowly, pushing his full weight forward as the pair of you connect.

           It’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt.

           A tantalizing combination of pleasure and pain, your mind repeating an endless mantra of “Laszlo”, which you realize, when he’s fully inside, flush against you, that you’re muttering out loud.

           “Oh, my love,” he breathes, his damaged arm lightly resting on your thigh, his other gripping your hip so tightly you knew there would be marks.

           “You feel so right,” you mindlessly breathe, and you can’t help but moan at the feeling of him twitching inside you at the comment. You would remember that he likes praise, but…

“I don’t know that I will last long, my love,” Laszlo warns, his voice low, gravely, warm against your neck as he buries his face into it, pressing kisses into the skin of your shoulder.

It crosses your mind that you’re completely nude and he’s fully clothed, but the thought fills you with warmth rather than disappointment.

“Nor will I, but this will happen again, won’t it?” you question, a hint of doubt crossing your voice.

The Doctor silences it immediately, kissing you deeply. “Every night, every hour if you would let me, my darling. You are so wonderful…”

“Then please, fuck me Laszlo. I want to cum, I want you to fill me, I – oh!”

The first snap of his hips was relentless, and it was only more intense from there.

He was strong, sure of his movements, chasing his own pleasure and encouraging yours as much as he could, pressing kisses into your neck, your breasts, your lips, his good hand finding your hair tightly. Broken moans left you as dark, rasping breaths escaped him, and it was all too soon before you felt your peak approaching, familiar with the sensation from lonely nights with your own hand curiously working against yourself.

“Laszlo, Doctor Kreizler, I-“ at your moaning of his title, something in him snapped, and his teeth sunk into where your neck met your shoulder.

A deep cry left you as you reached your climax, a white-hot rush waving over you.

As your cunt clenched around him, Laszlo lost himself, growling his native German tongue as he lost his rhythm, heat filling you as he came.

You two didn’t have much time to come down from your highs, as the door to his home could be heard opening and closing from the floors below.

“Doctor Kreizler?” Sara Howard could be heard calling.

Your eyes wide, you rushed to put yourself back together, close wrinkled, roughly thrown back on and your hair being a wreck. You hoped you could pass it off as merely the result of a rough day, an intense mental break.

You turned to Kreizler, who was a picture of perfection, seeming to not be rattled by the events before…almost.

           “Back to the case…?” he trailed off, his voice filled with uncertainty, and you smiled fondly at the terribly awkward, intelligent man before you.

           You step forward and kiss him softly, the warmth between your legs and bruises on your thigh a reminder of what had just occurred.

           “Back to the case. We can continue our escapades when it’s all over, Doctor.”

           He chuckles, confidence returning to him as he nods. “I look forward to it.”

[bollywoodconfessions]

We are overwhelmed by the outpouring of love showered on us since we revealed the pregnancy. It was a safer timeline for us [to announce it closer to delivery date]; our doctor advised it,” says actor Bipasha Basu, who announced her pregnancy on Instagram with husband Karan Singh Grover last week. Few days later, she shared a funny video saying, “There’s a baby in my belly”.

Dressed in a white shirt, Basu is resplendent at 43, and full of glee. “I am not 20,” she says, “It’s a late pregnancy, and [I] couldn’t announce it. You have to love yourself, no matter what your body type is—I am so big, but I find it cute. It’s magical what’s happening inside. We let the news out late as we had to be responsible. But once it was out there, we were in tears because everyone gave us so much love…”

“You had tears, I was fine!” pipes in Grover, “I was having different kinds of explosions inside my body.” Basu laughs, “Karan is a softy. He was in tears as well. We let our larger family know—the fans, the media…”

Basu keeps the delivery date under wraps, saying only that it will be soon. “I think Karan is going to be the best father ever,” she gushes. “He lives life from his heart; he’s creative, affectionate and warm… I want those qualities in my child.” “Sometimes, leading with the heart is not a good thing,” Grover quips.

But it’s good that his heart has been in charge; he’s been a hands-on partner, looking after Basu during the first few months of pregnancy, which were excruciating.

“No one talks about how horrible it can be,” the former model says. “It’s not morning sickness, its all-time sickness. I was vomiting all day; It was as if I was possessed. I used to look up at God and shout ‘why are you doing this?’ Karan was looking after me all the time. My mom was relaxed. ‘Kitna acchha pati mila hai,’ she would say.”

It got so bad at one point that Grover asked Basu whether she wanted to continue suffering. “If a man had to be pregnant, he wouldn’t be able to at all,” he says. “She was so sick. But at least we’re past that stage.”

For now, the expecting parents are busy nesting. When we had interviewed Grover in 2020, about his painting exhibition, he had described Basu as being a very organised person, who looked after everyone.

“She is a very evolved,” he says now, “To be her best possible self is her normal state of flow. I am in awe of how she thinks 20 steps ahead.  She has an excel sheet of what the child will need, what products, what brands, the cost… everything organised already.”

It’s Basu’s turn to laugh. “Karan will keep bringing up and joking about the excel sheet, but we need to make sure the baby gets the best of what s/he can.” To which Grover just says, “I am good at groundwork and following instructions. So I’ll just do what she asks me to.”

We ask her about the lifestyle decisions they’ve made to make room for the baby, and Basu replies that since she’s always been a fitness-centric person, no detox routine will be needed.

“The real changes will happen when the baby comes. Karan is being trained to change nappies; he will be good at it,” she says, and Grover cringes. “I once smelt a diaper in a changing room and it’s the smell of hell. But I will do what I have to do,” he resigns.

As far as taking a break from work goes, neither will be doing so. “I have been on a break all this while, as it was a sensitive pregnancy. But once the baby comes, baby and mommy will be ready for work. It’s time!”

[earlgreydream]

solace (4).

| Sirius black x reader | angst | fluff |

anon requested. young sirius black x reader fic where the reader is really upset over family issues or something like that? The reader starts sobbing and Sirius comforts them and lets them cry in his arms

“You’re such a fucking disappointment.”

.

You’d heard it your whole life, but it never seemed to get easier. Your family was always very clear about what they thought of you, none of it kind.

Whenever they tired of one rumor about you, another surfaced. Once you were a teenager, it was hard to keep track of the gossip and lies being spread about you. You swore you heard it all, you were stupid, a brat, a whore, gay, evil, a disappointment, or just simply not enough. Everything had been said, though none of it was true— maybe except the “disappointment” part.

You should have been used to it, but it still cut deep, reopening an old, bleeding wound that never stopped aching.

.

“I’m doing my best!”

‘You’re such a fucking disappointment’ was ringing in your ears, suffocating you and making your mouth taste metallic.

The floor seemed to sway under you, growing unsteady as you forced yourself not to cry, or show any emotion. Your family’s screams of degradation echoed off of the walls, bouncing in a million directions and leaving you disoriented.

The terrible numbness gave way to raw ache, tearing at your heart and throat. You didn’t know what to do, everything just hurt.

The pain was so loud it made the blood rush in your ears, your entire being throbbing. You couldn’t breathe, and you felt as if the ground were going to open up and swallow you whole.

You remembered the portkey, one your best friend had left for you. Startling your family, you ran through your home, escaping their grasps as they tried to pull you back with wicked claws. Your fingers closed around the key, and you were being yanked through space, hurtling into darkness.

.

It spit you out on the floor of a dorm room, the one that belonged to Sirius. You collapsed on dark wooden floors, the fire in the hearth casting a golden glow over you, illuminating the tears that streaked down your cheeks.

The smell of cinnamon, coffee, and soap filled your senses, comforting you, and reminding you of the safety that Sirius provided. You looked up at the sound of hurried footsteps, Sirius coming to kneel in front of you.

“Y/N? What’s wrong, what happened?” He cradled your face in his hands, giving you no option other than gazing into his stormy eyes.

Sirius flooded with concern, panicked when you’d dropped suddenly on his bedroom floor. A sharp pang shot through his heart when he realized you were crying, and he had an idea of the cause.

“My family, they were saying horrible things about me,” you summarized, feeling small and weak before Sirius. Before you could elaborate, a harsh sob wracked your chest, breaking past your lips.

“I’m so sorry,” he breathed, pulling you forward into him. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you where you were, in front of the fire.

The sobs came in heavy waves, shaking your body to the point of exhaustion. The agonized cries broke Sirius’ heart, and he held you as tight as possible, as if it would keep you from falling apart.

Sirius let you cry, not wanting to interrupt your outpouring of emotion. He would console you, but first, he knew you needed to just let it out.

“I don’t understand why they hate me. I haven’t done anything, all I do is try my best,” you wept, tears staining Sirius’ shirt.

“I know, you’re wonderful. You don’t deserve that, not at all.”

He gently rocked you, brushing hair away from sticking to your face. Small kisses were pressed to your forehead, and he quietly whispered that it was okay.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized, eventually exhausting yourself of sobbing.

“Don’t be, you have nothing to apologize for. I love you, and I’m so sorry you’ve been hurt.”

You covered your face when he said your name, the brunette gently prying you from hiding in him.

“Y/N, look at me.”

He tilted your chin up, gazing down into your teary eyes.

“I’m never going to hurt you like that. Your heart is safe with me, I love you.” Sirius spoke with conviction, erasing any doubt you held.

“I know. I love you, Sirius.”

.

The fire was dwindling by the time you slowly dragged yourself off of Sirius. Your head was pounding from sobs, and your chest ached. Exhaustion throbbed through your body, becoming sharp as cold began to seep in.

“Let’s get you to bed.”

You didn’t object, letting Sirius lend you some clothes. They smelled like him, calming you. He relit the fire while you dressed, and you crawled onto his bed, sinking into the soft crimson sheets.

He returned to you with a washcloth, gently cleaning your face. Sirius’ tenderness made your heart soften, and you found yourself leaning into his touch.

“You’ll feel better if you sleep,” he helped you under the covers, settling in beside you.

“What if I have nightmares?”

“Then I’ll be here. I’ll always be here.”

[legends-of-apex]

‘Tears in the Rain’

Tomisaburo ‘Tommy’ Arashikage/Storm Shadow x Reader

Part 1, Part2, Part 3, Part 4

Rating: T (mentions of violence, first kiss)

Word Count: 3,200

Summary: After being beaten by his cousin yet again, you suggest a moment away from the clan to help clear Tommy’s head. He revisits a place you couldn’t bare to in his absence and feelings finally start to outpour.

A/N: Here’s part 3 out of 6 of ‘the Ninja Prince’s Bodyguard’ series! Hope you enjoy! Please feel free to let me know what you thought or if you’d like to see more ☺️

You walked a good few paces behind Tommy and Sen to give them the privacy to carry out the conversation that they likely desired.

Your meanwhile let your eyes scan the forest surrounding you as you went, for the glint of a blade or a sniper’s scope. The likelihood of anyone getting into the compound was slim to none thanks to Akiko’s security measures but still, you always kept a watchful eye just in case.

After the recent attempt on Tommy’s life by his cousin you were very much on edge. But the thing that made you worry the most was that he had not succeeded in killing him, always leaving him alive each time. It meant he had some other plan for him or his grandmother, and neither you or Akiko had any idea what that might be. It worried you more than if it had been an assassination attempt.

But still you doubled your vigilance and upped any and all security around the Arashiakge’s as much as you could without intruding. They both found it endearing and Tommy insisted you were to “intrude” on him as much as you liked.

You didn’t see any cause for concern in the trees but you were too preoccupied with making sure that you hadn’t noticed that the gravel beneath their feet ceased its crunching or that you had almost caught up with them until Tommy cleared his throat to get your attention.

“My apologies!”

You bowed a little, worried you may have offended Sen if she had said something to get your attention and you had been too lost in thought to notice.

“There’s no need for that, I appreciate your vigilance. Walk with us dear, you need not be out of earshot,” Sen took your arm as you stepped closer to her, her frail hands lightly clutching your skin.

She was always such a warm presence to be around. Stern when necessary but warm. Yet she trusted you, believed in your dedication, your loyalty to her and her grandson. She welcomed you as family, or as close to it as you ever could be.

“Tomisaburo and I were just discussing Snake Eyes. We would like your opinion if you are willing to share. As of course, whilst we are indebted to him, I firmly believe that my grandson has an affliction for opening his heart to those unworthy of it,” she looked up at you then, a tight smile spread across her aging face, “With a few exceptions of course.”

“Grandmother I-“ Tommy tried to cut in but she stopped him with a raise of her hand and he instantly mellowed.

“You were saying, dear?” She smiled up at you sweetly.

“I trust Tommy’s judgment. But that does mean I am not wary of Snake Eyes…” You took a moment to collect your thoughts before continuing, wanting to speak clearly, “If he passes the third test then I see no reason not to welcome him, but until then I remain cautious yet grateful for what he did. I owe him a great debt. If not for him…” you looked at Tommy and found him already gazing towards you, your eyes meeting for a moment, “I would have failed you. Both of you.”

You had to tear your eyes away from Tommy’s least your emotions betray you, least how much you thought about what would have happened if Snake Eyes hadn’t been there to save Tommy become clear. Because the guilt ate you, it shouldn’t have but it did.

“You have done nothing of the kind! We are both alive and better for keeping your company,” Sen tutted, her grip on your arm tightening affectionately, “Thank you for your honesty, I shall forever value it.”

When you looked up, the ceremonial grounds were visible as was Akiko who was waiting to escort Sen to her place. Everyone was there already, awaiting the arrival of the heads of the clan. All were dressed in their ceremonial garb, you could even see Snake Eyes dressed in all black and looking nervous around so many other warriors.

“Thank you for trusting me,” Tommy began, “Without your say-so I think my grandmother may have cut Snake Eyes down where he stands before the test had even begun.”

“Of course I trust you, Tommy. With my life. But I want you to know that when I spoke, it was a reflection of my faith in you. Not in him.”

He gave a chuckle, like he expected nothing less. But his eyes lingered on you then in a way they often did but in a way that you could never place, “You look more beautiful than ever, you know.”

“As do you,” you replied.

He smiled at you then. But there was no playful rebuttal as there usually would be when you flirted with one another. Instead he kept eye contact with you and you with him. He looked at you like he wanted nothing more than to kiss you and in truth he didn’t. That was all he wanted because it was the one thing he could never do.

“Forgive me for interrupting. But it is time for you to take your seat, Tomisaburo.”

It was easy to forget Akiko was your superior sometimes. She was responsible for the security of the entire clan, you just specifically took care of the Arashikage. So you bid him goodbye and watched as he walked to his grandmother’s side before taking a seat, ready for Snake Eyes’s first trial to begin.

“What was that about?” she asked, “It looked like you were all but seconds away from tearing the clothes off each other.”

“Oh hush,” you chided, before taking your place at his side and Akiko at Sen’s. He glanced up at you briefly and smiled despite the slight blush overtaking his cheeks. But he was more anxious to see Snake Eyes prove that his faith in him wasn’t misplaced.

It wasn’t.

Or at least it wasn’t for now.

The next day Akiko found Kenta or she at least found where he would be.

“Tonight. At a warehouse in Shinjuku,” she told you.

You crossed your arms, not liking this one bit. Confronting him was dangerous, especially with Snake Eyes insisting he tag along too.

Tommy looked at you. Not for permission, god knows he didn’t need that, but for your blessing. Despite his insatiable hunger to take his cousin down if you didn’t approve, he wouldn’t make the move.

You knew he would never rest until Kenta was dealt with and to his credit, neither would anyone else at the clan. He tried to kill him. He was the one responsible for the scar on his face, the biggest and most glaring reminder that you failed him that night. That you hadn’t been there when he attacked. Tommy and Sen might have forgiven you, they said it wasn’t your fault, but you never ever forgot.

You’d served Kenta too once, when he was still an Arashikage but that was a long time ago and the opportunity to put him down was upon you all.

“When do we leave?” You asked Akiko and Tommy sent you a smile.

It was time to end this until it wasn’t. Until things were out of control, the rain poured and Tommy was out of your sight.

Up until that point you fought with him, back to back. Using each other as a means to cover your flanks and aid Akiko in cutting down anyone that came towards you. But then he was running and you were shooting after him. But he was too fast, too nimble in the way he scaled ledges like a panther fueled by nothing but rage.

You couldn’t keep up with him and with Akiko at your side, her jacket twirling in the wind, you found another way up to where Tommy was. He wasn’t a bad fighter, in fact he was remarkable. But when it came to his cousin he was emotional and impatient and rash. He threw away any and all qualities he usually possessed.

That’s what had you worried as did his cry. His echoing, rage-filled cry.

But he was alright. Kenta hadn’t bruised anything but his pride as he fled into the night. By the time you reached Tommy he was standing, chest heaving and nostrils flaring with nothing but rage. You stood before him, checking him over but he looked right past you and into the rain-fogged streets. His eyes leaked tears, he often cried when he was angry but now his tears merely mixed and mingled with pouring rain.

You called his name softly and he finally looked at you. His breath evening as he sheathed his blades.

“Tommy…”, you called out again. You said it gently, quietly but it was a question. You were asking if he was alright and he shook his head.

Thankfully the three of you survived the fight unscathed but your bike wasn’t so lucky. There was a katana piercing right through it’s engine as the rain pattered off its frame.

“Ride with me?” Tommy asked, his eyes tormented, “Please.”

And you didn’t need to be asked twice. You took the helmet he outstretched towards you and placed it over your head before sliding onto the bike at his back and wrapping your hands around his middle.

Tommy was seething, his need to put an end to his cousin once and for all clouding his judgment. But he was himself enough to have to forcefully keep his body from shuddering at the feeling of the weight of your hands around his stomach.

“Comfortable?” He asked through the comms in his helmet, letting his gloved hand rest over yours for a moment. You gave him the go-ahead to drive and he did, taking off behind Akiko.

You were already bitter enough about having your motorbike destroyed. But the sound of Tommy’s laugh through his helmet as you questioned the possibility of a Viking funeral for the bike was enough to sweeten the deal.

He laughed despite just losing yet again to the man he just couldn’t beat.

You could feel how tense he was. How his back was rigid against your body. But the pressure of your body at his back was enough to soothe and calm him down from anything, your closeness was the ultimate comfort.

Your very presence calmed him, reassured him. You knew that, and you also knew that he wouldn’t want to be grilled and prodded about his defeat.

“Hey, how about we take a detour?” You asked him, switching your comms to just communicate with his.

“Where to?” He asked.

“Anywhere that takes your fancy.”

He switched his comms on to the general channel, “We’re taking a detour. See you back at the temple.”

And he switched lanes, slipping off into an adjacent road before the temple’s entrance before Akiko could even protest.

You knew precisely the place he would go from the very moment you gave him the choice. You hadn’t been there since he left for LA. Having only ever spent time with him there it felt strange to even consider going there with any other or even by yourself.

The road to the pond a few miles or so at the back of the temple was bumpy and you had to keep a solid grip on him to keep upright. As the shining water came into view he lay off the gas until he let the bike come to a complete standstill.

“I have missed this place.”

He took off his helmet and let the rain wash over his face, as did you once you’d stepped off the bike.

“Me too,” you replied, leaning against a tree that hung almost lazily by the water’s edge, “I haven’t been here since you left.”

“You haven’t?” He asked, joining you with his back against the bark.

“No. It just wouldn’t be the same.”

The rain pelted off the water’s surface, no doubt scaring any wildlife that lived within. But it was still beautiful, the ripples highlighted only by the glow of the moon where she lay buried beneath the clouds. It illuminated Tommy’s face too.

You meant that it wouldn’t be the same without him there and his heart soared. In your mind did the winds change when he wasn’t there? Was the water not so interesting in his absence?

The joy he felt was very quickly replaced with guilt when next you spoke.

“Today makes three times you’ve almost been killed on my watch. It’s three times too many.”

He turned to look at you, to see if you were upset with him for his recklessness. And in truth you were, but right now you were just thankful he was alive.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make your job more difficult.”

“It’s not that, Tommy. Well no, of course it is. It’s my duty to protect you and your family from harm… but most of all I’d just miss you. I can’t even begin to think what my life might be without you.”

You didn’t mean to be so heartfelt, to let your words sink so deep. But you did and there was no taking them back now.

He had two options, shrug it off or meet your confession blow for blow.

“These past few months I have missed you more than I ever thought I could miss a person,” his thumb trembled slightly as it ran across your knuckles and his breath faltered as he spoke “You feel…you feel like home to me.”

He knew it deep within his heart all along but whilst he was gone he’d never felt for you more in his life. When he was away you were all his thoughts wandered to in his spare time and all that kept him warm on cold nights.

You closed your eyes and wished neither of you had said a thing, “Tommy, please don’t.”

“Why?”

Your eyes snapped open.

“Because once we step off the path we were meant to walk upon, we can never go back. We can’t, no matter how much we want to. It would be a disservice to the both of us.”

You let you head rest against his shoulder. You couldn’t do this. Not to him and not to yourself. But oh how you wanted to, how you ached for his arms.

“Our duty is to this clan,” he agreed, “But that doesn't change the fact that you have my heart in its entirety. You always have.”

“And you mine,” you replied, before the rational side of your brain could even process what he’d said. But it was true. He did have your heart, he had done for years despite everything you did to try and quell your feelings for the man you were supposed to protect.

His breath caught squarely in his throat for a second before he released a quiet laugh. All this time he’d thought his feelings unreciprocated. Never in a million years did he think you thought of him as he did you. Sure there were glances and soft touches and the way you often flirted with him but he put anything that even remotely gave a hint that you might have feelings for him down to his own infatuation.

“May I kiss you just this once?”

Your face was so close to his that you could almost taste his sweet breath on your tongue already.

“Just this once,” you confirmed, tentatively leaning your face closer to his, tilting your chin until your lips were but a hair’s breadth away from one another’s. But in that moment neither of you dared make the leap.

You both knew that once your lips touched his, there was no going back.

One kiss? One kiss would never be enough to satisfy. You would come back again and again like a duck to the warmest, most nectarous water. And oh how you longed for a taste.

Tommy thought you might be having second thoughts, that you decided against this but when you cast out all cares about anything other than him and his closeness to you now, all those worries slipped away and in came a rush, a wave of you. Just you.

His lips on yours made you feel vulnerable and safe all at once. You bared your soul to him and he cradled it as he would a fallen star.

The rain made riverbeds of your faces, the curves and edges etching the water’s flow into your skin. A few stray drops rolled down your cheeks to join at the crescent of your lips. Exchanging streams of rainwater as when two rivers merge as one.

When you pulled your lips off of his to catch your breath, you had to resist the urge to go right back for more. His jaw clenched beneath your thumb as you held it, he had the same thought.

The relief that came with his kiss was unparalleled, like the sweetest intake of air.

His hair hung in soggy drapes atop his forehead yet the strands were still soft to the touch as you pushed them back off his forehead so you could get a better look at his face. He was so beautiful, but especially with the rain rolling off his features. And he was smiling, lips slightly swollen, but smiling. And his eyes, his dark and endless eyes shone with a joyfulness that made your chest flutter. He looked at you so easily, so gently.

You couldn’t resist the temptation to kiss him again, so you did and he leant right into it as he had done the first time.

So much for just one kiss.

This time his lips were more desperate. Less testing the waters and more grasping at every inch of that he could for as long as you’d let him. And you let him, let him drink you in as you did him.

That was it. Your relationship to Tommy would never be the same again. Kissing him meant the air was clear but poisoned. Being around him yet not being with him was about to get so much harder knowing that he ached for you as you did him.

The sound of an engine brought you back to reality, and you had to muster every ounce of self control you had to move your face away from his to see who approached. You didn’t want to step away from him, not yet. And he mustn’t have either because he made no inclination of moving away from you, not caring less about the approaching engine.

“There you are!” Akiko exclaimed through her helmet, “Get in out the rain, the both of you! You’ll catch your death!”

The squeak of her brakes as she pulled up beside you was what finally made you take a step back from him. But you were still close enough that his hand lingered in yours.

“We can continue this another time,” you told him, not wanting him to think you were done with him and he nodded.

“Another time.”

Previous part, next part

Tagging: (the two people who saw the Snake Eyes movie) @icy-spicy @noobsaibots

[elvish-sky]

The Beating of Your Hearts, Together {Kíli x Reader}

A.N: Guess who finally wrote something like a ✨productive✨ human?! Wow. That was an emotional rollercoaster that I loved. This became such a therapeutic fic, so much of it is based on my own experiences and that nightmare is one that I get at least once a week. But I liked getting to imagine Kíli bringing me out of it, that helped. And the ending is very much the hopeless romantic in me coming out, I desperately want to have that with someone someday. So I really hope you like this outpouring of both the good and bad parts of my soul. Enjoy.

Requested by @lothloriien on Tumblr: hey I saw you were still taking requests, so could you maybe do a kíli/reader where the reader is being comforted (like after a panic attack or nightmare)? don’t worry about it if you can’t, but if you get around to it that would be awesome. thanks :)

Word Count: 1,270

Pairing: Kíli x Reader

Summary: Kíli hears the sound of sobbing coming from your room, and investigates.

Warnings: Nightmare, Panic Attack, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

**** The Beating of Your Hearts, Together

You were trapped. Darkness wrapped around you, engulfing you in pitch-black, not letting you go. Your breath rattled in your ears, in and out, in and out, in and out, in- and you held it because you could hear something advancing through the darkness, coming closer and ever closer and closer and closer, muttering the words that you heard night after night about how it was all your fault and you were a failure and you heard the scrape of something on stone as it came closer and closer and you strained your eyes but all you could see was that same darkness and suddenly-

You woke up sobbing. Tears streaked your face as you curled up as tight as possible, knees to your chest, convulsing and shaking as you tried to claw your brain out of the pit that the dream had buried it in. But you couldn’t, it was right. So you lay there, sobs wracking your body, brain lying in the self-made hole of shame you so often found yourself in. You cried and cried, tears streaming down your face, still there, still sobbing with nothing to show for it, glistening tracks on your face drying up as you shook, ears covered, eyes shut tight to ignore the existence of all else as you lay there, tense, terrified.

And yet some part of your brain was aware and ashamed of the weakness you were showing even though no one was there to see it.

And you lay there, brain trapped in that vicious circle as your nails dug into your palms as you sobbed.

Sound asleep one moment, wide awake the next, Kíli bolted up from his bed. Unsure of what had caused his quick rise from unconsciousness, he listened. Through the night air, he could hear the sounds of sobbing traveling in the wind. He grabbed an extra tunic, unaware of where exactly he was going, but prepared to go outside nonetheless.

Opening his door, Kíli heard the sounds of crying grow louder, and followed them to another door a little ways down the hall. Your door. He took a deep breath and knocked.

Nothing happened.

So, gently, he pushed it open, revealing you curled into a tight ball on your bed, sobbing.

“Oh, Y/N.”

Hyperaware, you flinched as you heard your name, soft footsteps following it closer to your bed as you sobbed. You felt the weight of the bed shift as someone sat on it, and a hand gently rest on your shoulder.

“Hey, Y/N,” The person whispered, “What do you need?”

You didn’t respond, your brain still stuck in that dark pit of despair, sinking to the deep depths of devastation you were so used to.

You felt the hand on your shoulder move to your back, and start to rub circles, starting from one shoulder blade and making the way around to the other.

It had to be Kíli then. He was the only person who knew that was how to calm you down, the circles reeling you back up out of that pit. And, slowly but surely, they did. Kíli’s quiet voice comforting you and his hand on your back started to break through the dark fog in your brain. Your sobs started to fade, your body started to unclench as he soothed you, murmuring the whole time.

Kíli saw your eyes start to open.

“Hey, Y/N,” he murmured, “Are you okay?”

You sniffled. “I- I’m not sure.”

He nodded, “Okay. What do you need?”

You blinked at him, not believing that he was actually here, but wanting to all the same.

He noticed this and very slowly moved so that he sat on your bed, leaning up against your wall.

“C’mere, Y/N. I’m here.”

Hesitantly, you moved closer to him. He moved to wrap an arm around your waist and paused to see if you were okay with it. Seeing you nod, he pulled you closer to him, letting you rest your head on his chest with his arm around you. The sound of his breath rumbling in his chest calmed you even more until your own breathing was rhythmic and normal again.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

You nodded, hesitantly. You’d never talked about it before with someone, but if you ever did, you thought Kíli would be the best to do it with.

You took a deep breath.

“It- it’s this recurring dream I have.”

He nodded.

“Where I’m trapped, no ropes actually restraining me, I just can’t m-move”

Your voice broke.

His hand started rubbing the circles on your back again, calming you enough to keep talking.

“And it’s dark. Pitch-black dark, where I can’t see anything no matter how hard I try. And something else is there. I don’t know what, but I can always feel that it’s bad. And it approaches me.”

Your voice was shaking as you started to choke up.

“And it comes closer, and I can hear it moving, and it tells me things. Horrible things. That I don’t matte-”

You broke off, unable to keep telling him the horrible contents of your brain, afraid he would leave and abandon you to the darkness once more.

But he stayed.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. And I know this might not help, but I’m going to tell you anyway. You do matter,” Kíli told you.

“You matter to me, to Fíli, to Thorin, to Balin, to Ori, to everyone in our crazy little family that we’ve made. But it doesn’t matter that we think you matter, it matters that you think you matter. Because you should love yourself, Y/N, you’re kind and sweet and funny and I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

He took a deep breath.

“Because I love you. I know that you hurt and I know that you struggle and I love you because of that. Because of everything that makes up who you are, the good, the bad, even the part of you that masterminds Fíli’s pranks. I love you, Y/N, and you should love you too.”

You were crying again and lifted your face to look into Kíli’s eyes.

He saw the tears brimming there, and his own eyes widened.

“Oh no, Y/N, please don’t cry, don’t cry, I love you.”

The panic on his face was adorable, and you giggled a little.

“You love me?” You weren’t sure if he’d meant it or not.

Kíli started to smile. “Yes. I always have, and I always will, and I’ll always be here for you.”

You took a deep breath, and for the first time in a long time, it didn’t hurt your heart.

“I love you too.”

Kíli’s smile was brighter than the sun.

And with that, your heart lifted a little. You lay there together, Kíli’s hand still tracing circles on your back until you had fallen asleep, only at which point he let himself drift into unconsciousness.

Kíli loved you, and you loved him. And you still had hard days, still woke up sobbing in the middle of the night, because loving and being loved doesn’t fix that. It was a struggle that you worked through every day. And you did a lot of it alone because only you could keep pulling yourself out of that pit. But you always had Kíli, there for you, willing to do whatever he could to help you along that journey. And you helped him in turn, sticking by him whenever it was tough but also when it wasn’t.

Because your hearts beat together. You and Kíli, together.

Forever.

Everything tag ❤️: @entishramblings @itgetsatadhazy @boyruins @anjhope1 @kumqu4t @katbby16 @thewhiteladyofrohan @kirstenscaffeinateddisaster @beenovel @shethereadinghobbit @guardianofrivendell @hey-its-nonny

Kíli tag: @claraofthepen

[sourholland]

Ooooh angst “what about us?” “there is no us, there never was.” with tom plssss! Really love ur work 🌸

Last Kiss || Tom Holland

Summary → After a fling you and Tom had started while filming a movie together, he tells you that you two can’t be together anymore. Once you get home, Tom let’s you know that he made a mistake.

AN → This was supposed to come out yesterday, I just got lazy and waited to edit it. I can’t tell if I like how this came out or hate it, either way, I hope you guys like this. Also in honor of the Fearless re-record!!

Pairing(s) → Tom Holland x Fem!Reader

Warnings → Strong Language, Suggestive, Alcohol Use

Prompt(s) → 38

Word Count → 1.9k

The ringing of your phone sounded through your apartment loudly, the sound of the rain pattering loudly against the windows out-looking New York City. You set down the remote, feet padding against the cold hardwood while you looked for your buzzing cellphone.

You didn’t bother glancing at the caller ID, picking it up bringing it to your ear all in one quick motion.

“Hello?” You said, pulling a wine glass down from the cabinet.

“Y/N?” Tom’s voice came through the phone.

Your heart dropped, a breath catching in your throat while you stood in your kitchen. He was across the country, wanting nothing to do with you. He repeated your name through the phone, asking if you were there.

“Yeah, I’m here,” you answered, pouring more wine than you’d originally intended into the glass.

“Isn’t it like one in the morning in England?” You asked, listening to the muffles coming through the speaker.

“Yeah—yeah, it’s late here. I just couldn’t sleep, and I started to think of you. Sorry, I probably shouldn’t have called.”

You sat at one of the barstools, swirling the red contents of the glass around. You wanted to yell at him, or maybe you wanted to tell him how much you loved him. You sat silently for a few moments, bare legs cold from the draft.

“Tom,” you started. “I just don’t get why we have to rehash the past, you know? I came back to New York, just like you told me I should. You’re working on whatever new movie, I’m doing the same. I don’t know—I just think we should leave whatever happened between us alone. You made it very clear that it was me that you didn’t want,” you mumbled, pulling at the sleeves of your sweater.

He audibly sighed, the ruffling of sheets coming through the phone. He was probably in bed, if he wasn’t so far away you’d have asked him if this was a sad attempt at getting you to sleep with him.

“I was fucking stupid, and I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so fucking sorry, I’ve said that a million times,” his voice was hoarse and tired.

“I’ve already forgiven you, Tom. I just can’t keep doing this—this thing with you.”

You both went quiet for a minute, the only sound being the noise from outside in the bustling streets of the city and the rain. You knew you should hang up, block his number and forget about anything you two ever had. You’d tried a few times, unable to bring yourself to doing it.

“What about us?” He asked lowly, a twinge of hurt in his tired voice.

“There is no us, Tom,” you replied. “I’m not even sure there ever was.”

He didn’t say anything, you wanted to let out the repressed cry and tell him you didn’t mean it. That you were sorry and that you thought about him more than you’d like to admit. Something in you knew if you didn’t do your best to cut it off, you two would continue down the same everlasting cycle.

“Okay,” he said.

“Okay.”

The line went silent for a moment, and then your home screen lit up. The call had been ended. You downed the remainder of your wine, ditching the cup and just going for the bottle. You thought about calling him back, about apologizing and booking a plane ticket like some lovesick teenager.

You opened Instagram and began scrolling through your feed of posts, liking and commenting occasionally. You weren’t anywhere near drunk, merely tipsy and heartbroken. Your finger lingered on the button to go live, wondering if you really wanted thousands of people to see you in this state.

You left the kitchen and instead propped your phone against the couch, taking a seat on the white rug of your living room. You wearily pressed the go live button, raising the bottle to your chapped lips once more. You are pathetic, you thought.

“Hey guys!” You smiled at the camera and outpouring of greetings in the comments. Within a few minutes you’d racked in a few thousand viewers. You grabbed the guitar sitting against your wall and strummed the cords lightly while it sat in your lap.

userone: you are so adorable

usertwo: can you please say hi?!!!??

userthree: it’s my birthday y/n!

“I’m sorry I haven’t been very active on social media, guys. It’s been super crazy traveling back and forth from London to New York and then having to leave again in a few weeks. And now I’m sitting on my living room floor with a bottle of wine,” you laughed. A few familiar people popped into the comments of the live, some you’ve worked with and some you’ve yet to meet in person.

florencepugh: y/n!!!

gracieabrams: might just bust out the wine just for u

“Florence, I can’t wait to see you soon!” You smiled, “Gracie, I swear it’s making everything like a hundred times better.”

userfour: i’m in love with her

userfive: y/n saving 2021???!!!

“I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to be singing,” you flushed. You did sing, before getting into acting you’d post a lot on Instagram and TikTok. It’d always been more of a hobby, something you loved to do, but weren’t good enough to pursue.

“I’ve had a little too much to drink,” you added. “So don’t get upset if I’m a little pitchy, guys.”

usersix: if she’s pitchy i’m not sure what i am

userseven: sing taylor swift!!!

“Okay, okay!” You chuckled, scrolling through the hundreds of comments saying to play Taylor Swift. You’d only just been crying to like three of her albums a few hours before.

“How about the chorus—and maybe the bridge too, yeah, that’ll work,” you mumbled to yourself, fiddling with the strings. “Alright, guys, Last Kiss it is. I won’t bore you all with the whole thing, though. I could never do Taylor justice.”

“And I’ll go sit on the floor, wearing your clothes”

Getting involved with him was singlehandedly the most stupid decision you’ve ever made, you thought. Late nights in his flat after long nights on set, ordering in and just talking, you two would talk as if you’d known each other your whole lives. It was something about the way he’d let you wear his clothes, or the way he’d tuck your hair behind your ear while you told him about whatever insignificant thing that had happened that day.

“All that I know,

I don’t know how to be something you miss”

The car ride to the airport was the worst, it was grey and cold outside. There was makeup running down your face, mascara covering your eyes generously. You’d wrapped filming a week earlier, unable to bring yourself to walk away from him.

You couldn’t tell the driver to turn you around, or could you? Tom had already made it clear that you were both in different places in your career. This wasn’t what he wanted. You weren’t what he wanted.

“I never thought we’d have our last kiss”

He had held you just a little tighter, you ran your fingers through his hair for just a second longer. The taste of each other lingering on the both of your lips. Like you knew it would be the last time he’d hold you without knowing.

His stupid smiled, the way he pulled away and ran his thumb over your swollen bottom lip. You were almost wrapped around his finger, absolutely sickened with desire and infatuation for him.

“I never imagined we’d end like this,

Your name, forever the name on my lips”

The day you’d left to come home to New York started with a huge argument between the two of you. He’d basically just told you that you’d both known from the beginning you wouldn’t last together. It wasn’t a matter of how much you cared for one another, but that it was impossible, as he put it.

His eyes glossed over and bloodshot, you a complete and utter mess. Slamming the door behind you as you left was one of the most painful things you’d ever endured. Even more painful, the fact that he never came after you.

“So I’ll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep”

“I can feel you staring at me, love,” he murmured against the pillow.

Your face heated, eyes averting to the stream of light through the sheerness of the curtains. He leaned into you a moment later, his lips soft on your own. He was warm, he was always so warm. You cupped the side of his face gently, pulling him in a bit harder.

“And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe”

You dropped your bags, stepping into your apartment after months of being away. It felt quieter than usual, desolate and empty from your being away. It was dark out, the illumination of the bright city lights from your windows.

You glanced down at your phone for a moment, not a missed call, not a text, not even a fucking notification. He’d simply told you to go home, nothing more nothing less.

“I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are,

Hope it’s nice where you are”

You’d texted Harrison a few times, regretting it almost immediately after. He was sweet, telling you that Tom would come around eventually and to just be patient. You’d relied on those kind words for some time, eventually deleting them all together.

After Tom’s first text, you’d realized he wasn’t coming around or regretting what he’d said to you. He was lonely, maybe even a bit desperate. For months you had been there to listen to him and hold him, and now you were gone.

You’d fed into it the first few times, sitting on the phone with him for hours at a time. Then you started to feel worse hearing his voice, silent sobs escaping as you’d listen to him ramble. Then your finger would linger over the decline button a little longer than usual when he’d call, until eventually you started to use it.

“And I hope the sun shines and it’s a beautiful day,

And something reminds you,

You wish you had stayed”

Once you started to go out with other guys, Tom’s ‘I miss you’ texts became more infrequent. Paparazzi would snap pictures, and the next morning they’d be plastered all over the internet.

There was no doubt he was seeing you going out with other people, watching article after article about who you were dating surface. Would he be jealous? No, you thought. Tom was probably doing the same thing as you. Hopeless hookups, meaningless blind dates.

“You can plan for a change in the weather and time”

One early morning, you found yourself in a sweatshirt you’d stolen from one of his drawers and forgotten to return. Listening to the morning rush of traffic and hugging yourself, noticing the lingering smell of his cologne.

You wondered if he knew you’d taken it, if he would think you were pathetic wearing it months after you two had broken things off. This only made you clutch yourself a little tighter, closing your eyes and trying to remember.

“But I never planned on you changing your mind”

[kileaderie]

[22:38 p.m.]

   ∙↬ Genre: Angst

   ∙↬ Warnings: Depression, Betrayal, Hearing voices

Word Count: 760 Words.

Summary: It's pathetic that you're depressed just because your once best friend has deceived you.

Author’s Note: It is possible to have seen it, forget it, and forgive it.

You are in pain, betrayed, and brainwashed.

She was a rotten egg, as the others had predicted. You had a negative impact on your life, but why were you so slow to realize it? How could she do such things to you when you did everything together, spent money and time together? She humiliates you, spreads falsehoods about you, she did everything you believed she wouldn't do.

You've been unusually quiet over the last few days, hardly leaving your room. You weren't your usual self. You're not the typical Y/n that people are used to seeing. The walls seem to be closing in on you. It's a wonderful sunny summer day outside, but you get the feeling that a rain cloud is looming over you.

You feel as though you're drowning and struggling to keep afloat. Nothing you do seems to be able to dispel the feeling. What, after all, have you done to deserve such treatment from your once 'good friend'? Was the problem you? The overpowering sense of drowning returns, and you battle the need to scream.

You take a peek around the house and see nothing but messes. Laundry heaped up on couches, half folded, partly unclean, you have no idea. Dishes are piling up beside the sink, and you're officially out of clean silverware. You entered the bedroom and slid onto the unmade bed. There were more garments on the floor than you liked to confess.

Everyone hates you now..

No one would want to be with you anymore..

Come to us.. We can end your misery in an instant..

You can't stop the tears from falling down your cheeks as you pull the blankets up over your head. You hate this feeling. You have no idea what's wrong with you. You have no idea how you went from being so fucking joyful to feeling this terrible and awful a week later because of that bitch.

You sigh when you hear the front door open. You already know what he'll see when he walks in the door. Everywhere is a shambles. "Y/n," He exclaims.

You lack the energy to reply. You can hear his feet scuffing on the wooden flooring, and then the bed lowers as he climbs into it. "Hey.. how are you doing?" His voice is gentle but you just shake your head as you sit up.

You averted your gaze to see his face. As he looked down at your crumpled shape, his face furrowed in concern. You sighed deeply.

"I'm not sure. I just don't feel right. Everything hurts," You said, "And I just don't feel well."

"Stop thinking about her, she's a bitch."

"She merely wants attention from other people since she didn't receive enough from her family, stupid, attention seeker, bitch."

Yeosang cursed while encircled you with his arms, and you rested your head on his shoulder. You closed your eyes and laughed a little at his little rant. You absorbed his calming scent as he softly held you against him. The scent of his cologne made you feel at ease, and you shed a few tears as a reaction.

"Please don't cry," Yeosang said quietly.

He began by moving one of his reassuring hands up and down your back, while the other became entangled in your hair. His words and soft-touch simply caused an overwhelming outpouring of tears. You buried your face in his silky shirt, and he held you as cries raged inside you. You couldn't stop sobbing no matter what he did.

When you eventually got yourself together enough to look up at him, he brushed your tears away tenderly. Then he gently grasped your face in his hands, pushing you to look him in the eyes.

"Listen, Y/n. I know you're upset, and that hurts. You must, however, keep this in mind. The boys and I are here for you, we've got your back. You are not alone in this situation. Never be scared to come to us for help with anything."

"Okay," You replied in a small, choked voice.

"All right, lovely," Yeosang confirmed with a kind smile.

He moved and drew you down into the mattress, becoming a tangle of limbs with you on the bed. You lay there for a long time, listening to his heart's steady beat. The last thing you recalled before falling into a deep, dreamless sleep was Yeosang kissing the top of your head and uttering an almost inaudible, "I love you." Before you fell asleep, a faint smile tugged at the corners of your mouth.