#there should not have been tears when he got fake-erased that episode

[blindtaleteller]

Tags.

[subwaysurf45]

Winter Makes Ice (Ep. 4)

Summary: you’re captured after a brawl at the Avengers building, Bucky and others must save you before Hydra makes a new Winter Soldier out of you, Bucky has given up that title.

Words: 4123

Episode: Four

Warning: violence, gore, description of violence, fighting

Masterlist! Winter Makes Ice Episode: Three

Time: 3:20am

Date: October 3rd 2024

Wakanda was always calm when Steve went, the people who lived there just seemed to understand the ways of life. There was never a catcall or fight in an alley, people greeted each other with kindness and a soft bow, Steve always copied but felt like he was too stiff when he did so. He found he walked with his back a little straighter and his chin a little higher, he felt unstoppable in the warm climate, filled with power and generosity. 

Natasha on the other hand hated Wakanda, not because of the people but for the same reason as Steve; it was too peaceful. She’d always get the dirtiest looks when trying to explain her case, no one seemed to understand the concept of ‘too much comfort is uncomfortable’. She ran to Bucky once after a moment and asked him why he liked it so much, she thought he off all people would hate comfort, he’d always be one to sleep on the floor because the mattress would feel like it was swallowing him. He just shook his head and shrugged, he’d never tell anyone why; Nat found out he never even told you. 

Natasha had been trained to trust no one other than yourself, but after escaping the Red Room she questioned the one in the mirror all too often. People would smile and while Steve smiled and waved Natasha thought of ulterior motives, why were they smiling to them and not the people slightly behind them? but then they’d smile to the people behind Natasha and she’d question if it was to cover themselves. The welcoming's to almost everywhere felt weird, she wanted to break in or have to fake her way to what she wanted, having doors opened for her felt like a slap in the face for all the things she’s done for those years before. 

“God, gives me the creeps,” Natasha faked a shiver, Steve just rolled his eyes. They were walking in the palace now, T’Challa would be waiting for them in Shuri’s tech room. 

Apparently Shuri had been wanting to try a new type of cuff, one made of- obviously -vibranium that tightens at a lie. There were little needles that poke into the culprit's nervous system, it picks up on someone’s sign that they are lying and tightens when the little pins are triggered. If someone's breath picked up or heart rate doubled, it would squeeze a little bit more until their hands were blue. Nat thought it was amazing when she heard it over the phone, her mind was picturing it the entire flight over. 

Steve had been thinking about Bucky, Steve was well aware of Bucky’s deep connection to you. You’d been dating for over a year and it was love at first sight (then Bucky quietly loving you from the other side of the room), Bucky was never one to fall for someone, he’d never have the confidence in himself that he’d be here for too long. But it was the little things Bucky began to do that made Steve appreciate you even more. He’d watch from his spot on the kitchen counter, quietly sipping coffee and reading the paper, which wasn’t actually paper because it was on his phone, while glancing over every so often to see you and Bucky in your own little world, both giggling at something. There's this moment for Bucky when he’d just look at you, Steve had seen it happen so often, like Bucky was taking a step back and realizing he had someone who loved him unconditionally. The laugh would die down and Bucky would whisper something, it would alway be along the lines of ‘thank you’ but it could change. He’d sometimes do it with Steve as well, both you and Steve would say the same thing, ‘no need to thank me, but you’re welcome’ because that’s what Bucky liked best. 

You were just an agent when you arrived, nothing more. Slowly you had gotten to know who everyone was by going out of your way to give out cookies to everyone who walked by you, it was a little thing Bucky seemed to really enjoy. After your talents were discovered from past jobs you were moved to a spy, you’d used to work for a private firm where they’d track down people who launder money, you’d have to get so much evidence it often led you to get jobs at mattress stores or random shops. With that and a lifeguard certification- that you got when you were a teen- under your belt you were perfect to be an agent, Fury introduced you to Bucky for combat training because Bucky needed to learn how to work with others; Steve actually told Fury to give Bucky the assignment. 

You’d spar everyday and the both of you would get into it. There would be times where you wouldn’t talk to each other for the rest of the day because the other cheated. Everyone would laugh but you’d take it very seriously, Bucky would always say you weren’t strong enough to go out into the field, so you lifted weights. He’d say you weren’t fast enough, then he’d see you sprinting on the treadmill a day later. 

Steve knew you were good for Bucky when you were about to start dating, it was at that part where you were going on dates but you weren’t dating. With all the things Bucky had criticized you on, you flipped it on him with one simple task: keep your fiddle-leaf fig plant alive. It would’ve taken Bucky one google search to find out that 61% of people can’t keep this house plant alive, it’s the hardest one to take care of. It was a metaphor of sorts, for you and for your relationship. 

It wasn’t a surprise to find it dead when you got home, Steve came to you with his shoulders slumped. Apparently Bucky had been crying for three days straight because he killed your plant and he thought you’d dump him because of it. It was the weird feelings when Steve saw you start to laugh, this was his best friend who was crying of guilt and you were laughing, he’d wanted to punch you square in the jaw. 

“What’s so funny?” he asked way too harshly. 

“Oh nothing…” you wiped the tear that had fallen. 

“Baby, I’m so sorry!” Bucky had left his room and came running to you, his face was red and his eyes were barely open from how puffy they were. He quickly pulled you in for a hug, “I messed up your plant, I’m sorry.”

Steve was getting redder and redder the more you laughed, “what’s so fucking funny, huh?” Steve boomed, he was getting protective. 

You had dropped the act then, both of them were very emotional at the moment and laughing wouldn’t be the best choice of action. “Don’t worry, Bucky,” you soothed him, “you weren’t supposed to keep alive.” 

“What?” he pulled away and sniffled, “but you asked me to-”

“To try,” you paused with emphasis, “and keep one of the hardest plants to keep alive, alive.” you smiled, “I was proud that I had kept it alive for as long as I did, but I needed to see what you would do with something like this.” 

“Why?” Steve asked for Bucky, still very protective. 

“Did you buy a new one and hope I didn’t notice?” You asked, Bucky shook his head no. “did you get mad at me because I gave you a stupid chore?” He also said no to that. “Did you make Wanda keep it alive with her powers?” all these options ran through Bucky’s head and he didn’t even think of them, “you put so much effort into this, and even if you did fail you still cared a lot, that’s all I ever want. I want this relationship to work and if you run at the first sign of adversity then this won’t work, but you buckle down and keep pushing, and if it doesn’t work? Then I know you actually cared, and you tried. That’s all.” 

“You’re a keeper.,” Steve said before walking away and giving them space to catch up. 

Nat waved a hand in front of Steve’s face, and it turns out he’d been staring at T’Challa for a while while he was talking. They had walked the entire way and Steve just stared at the ground with a blank expression, he needed to look out for you in order to keep Bucky sane. 

“S-sorry, I zoned out.” Steve straightened his posture a bit, hands on hips and shoulders rolled back.

“No worries, captain Rogers.” T’Challa spoke calm as ever, “I have the criminals in the room, they have the new tech that’s already set up, my sister wanted to set it up.” T’Challa opened one arm and guided them to the secret room where two men sat with their hands cuffed and on their laps. “Neither of them have any record of being born, probably a fake identity.” The king linked arms with Shuri and walked out of the small room. 

Seeing how grand and futuristic Shuri’s lab was made it shocking to be in a normal interrogation cell, two rusty chairs that were occupied and no table. Steve looked to see the single light that hung from the ceiling, it wasn’t a soft yellow like the one’s at the Avenger building but purple, vibranium always casted a purple/blue hue. 

“Where are you from?” Steve asked. 

“Iceland.” the one on Steve’s left answered. 

“Is Hydra now stationed in Iceland?” Nat cut in and asked. 

“One station, there’s many.” The same man on the left kept talking, the other one had his head all the way down with his forehead touching his knees. 

Steve leaned up against the wall, “you attacked Princes Shuri, why?”

“Because she is the one that made us start from the very beginning, she's the one that erased the trigger words from your friend and our weapon.” He snarled, “She needed to pay for what she did, we should have known Wakanda was the hardest place to attack, we’d need a Winter Soldier for that.” A smirk grew from the right side of his mouth. 

“What are you smiling about?” Nat pressed, she walked closer.

“Oh, nothing- ow!” the handcuffs tightened, his breathing rate doubled as he tried to ride out the initial shock. 

“Tell us!” Steve smashed the wall, causing a dent to grow from it. 

“Fine…” the man adjusted, “once we found out we’d never get our Winter Soldier back we quickly moved on, no one can break Wakanda’s tech, it’s impossible.” The man sighed and looked off, “so we chose to start again, make a new way, create a new trial. It’s safe to say we did.” he took a deep breath and leaded back against his chair, his fingertips were beginning to turn purple, it was difficult to see with the purple hue of the room. “When we attacked your building we didn’t want Barnes, we wanted someone, anyone. This girl was the closest to us, and it seemed to be the closest to Barnes, am I right?” he quizzed, seemed to be genuinely wondering. “She’d wake up and forget where she is, normally she’d pat the ground beside her and call out for a man named Bucky, that’s Barnes. It was the perfect choice, completely on a whim.” He looked at Nat, “she got her confidence from you, the entire time we were slowly poisoning her she completely believed she was here for ransom, it was funny to see her face when he told her what we did to her, how we now control her. The look on her face when we asked who wiped Barnes’ trigger words… She spit them out but her face was full of fear, her voice and thoughts weren’t her own.” 

“Why would you tell us all of this?” Steve asked. 

“I know I will die,” the cuffs didn’t tighten, “and my friend is already dead, I’d like to go with a bullet and not torture.” He looked up to them. “I think my father has passed, he worked for Hydra and I’d like to see him, to ask for forgiveness.”

Natasha pushed back the other man who hadn’t spoken a word to find his hands blackened and completely dead, the tightness had cut off all circulation. Right near the edge of the cuff and on the man’s skin was starting to split, there was no blood to leak out of the cut because there wasn’t blood in the veins, it was slowly falling and peeling away. 

“You tortured my friend- two of them actually!” Steve screamed, “I hope to god you die slowly.” Steve lifted his gun to the man’s face, he closed his eyes. But Steve moved the aim to the thigh, you had told him that a shot to the femoral artery was fatel after ten seconds of bleeding, you had also told him that the femur- which was what the femoral artery is attached to -is the most painful break for bones. 

So Steve shot at the middle of the thigh, he and Nat watched without emotion as the man quickly bled out, the blood squirted in the air and rolled down his pants. Blood coming from an artery is bright red and tends to squirt, but from a vein makes the blood more slow and dark. When the final squirt of blood managed to hit the man’s face, Steve knew he hit right on target; and that you were right for all those things.

Time: 5:59am

Date: October 3rd 2024

Bucky and Wanda walked through the forest, most of the leaves had fallen off the trees due to the season so they could see further into the thick woods. Not a lot of talking was happening between the two of them, Bucky was way too focused on keeping his cool while Wanda used her powers to see if there was any form of life around. 

The wind blew softly and the leaves that held on for dear life were now getting pushed aside off the flimsy twigs, they would fall and join the other countless leaves that met the same fate. Wanda loved the fall, she’d jump into a pile of leaves any chance she got. Right now she was purposely stepping on the ones that looked the most dry which would give a good crunch. Her nose was a little red due to the cold but everywhere else she was yellow and happy, it seemed she gave off heat.

Bucky hated the fall, the sound of stepping on leaves sounded like someone was right behind him. If there was a Hydra agent out in these woods they would have heard them from a mile away with all of Wanda’s jumping and giggling. Bucky loved Wanda in a motherly kind of way, but sometimes she was just too...happy…

When everything seemed lost, Bucky and Wanda’s phones began to vibrate, Bucky was quick to pick up. Both Bucky and Wanda made their way to a tree stump to take a moment to listen. Wanda sat on the ground floor and picked at the tons of leaves that covered the ground, she’d pick and rip them apart one by one. 

“It’s Steve,” Bucky whispered before picking up, “Steve?”

“Buck, you have to listen to me,” his voice was shaken and distraught, “I’ve sent the coordinates, she’s there but I don’t know how much of her is left.” 

“What does that mean?” Bucky asked as he looked over to see Wanda looking at the coordinates on her phone. 

“I don’t know how much has happened to her, they’ve brainwashed her.” Steve took a deep breath, Bucky could hear Nat in the background, “we have to act fast, we’re on our way, do not wait for us.” he commanded and Bucky nodded but he knew Steve couldn't see, there was a type of mind reading between the two of them that really came in handy for times like these. 

“Roger that.” Bucky hung up and began to move again, Wanda had read the location and it turned out they weren’t that far away, at the final stretch they saw the building through the empty trees. 

The forest had been cleared around the building, the grass seems healthy but it was starting to brown with the changing weather. The building itself was very small for it to be the most dangerous Hydra facility, it was only one story. There were no windows and the outer wall was all one grey colour, no symbols or tanks ready to fire; there wasn’t even a guard around the building. It seemed too vacant for it to be true, the wind seemed to stop as they got closer into the open field, it was completely still and almost dead. 

Bucky or Wanda actually had a plan, everything had been so fast there wasn’t anything drawn out or spoken about at some meeting, this was all instinct. Though there were no windows and security cameras they both knew something had to be watching the outside, they were low to the ground in the open field but the grass was way too short to cover them. Bucky had his gun ready while Wanda’s hands were in a position to create a shield for the both of them, at the sound of a vibration Wanda checked her phone. 

“Steve and Nat have landed, they are five minuets out,” she whispered. 

“Copy.” was all Bucky could think to say. 

Both of their backs smashed against the wall, with their final moments of bliss before fighting a couple deep breaths were taken and eyes remained shut. Bucky’s finger fiddled on the trigger of the gun, Imagining what it would look like to blow the man who hurt you to oblivion. Bucky moved further and farther away from his Winter Soldier thoughts, the mass murder and robotic revenge. But when it came to someone hurting you, he’d even put the mask back on.

On the count of three the door was bursted open, and right away agents on the inside began to fire. Wanda and Bucky took them down their own way. 

One agent was still alive, Bucky ran up and gripped his throat. “Where is she!” he screamed. 

“You’ll never know-”

A gun was placed to his head. 

“-Alright! Alright!” The man shrieked, “third door on the left, please don’t kill me!” the man cried. 

“I won’t kill you,” Bucky lowered his gun but the grip on his neck tightened, “I’ll torture you slowly before.'' His left hand gripped so tight around the agent’s neck he could hear the bone shattering, clear fluid from the agent’s spine leaked from his eye and ear before blood followed. Bucky watched emotionlessly as the agent’s face turned blue and almost popped like a balloon. “Wanda, get them all outside.” 

“Yes, sergeant!” Wanda yelled, she was fighting off everyone else. 

Bucky blew by everyone as they ran to see the commotion, so ran right by Bucky without thinking he was the threat. Wanda was now outside and in a matter of seconds the eeriness of the outside matched the inside, the air was still and stuffy, it smelt like the beginning of decomposing. Bucky had his gun ready but it seemed no one was in here, his only threat was you. 

Bucky took note of the stone grey floors, and stone grey walls, and stone grey ceilings. HYDRA didn’t put much money into design like the Avenger’s did, all the funds they collected went straight into the tech they made and Bucky was sure that’s why they were still around, they had so much money saved that they could pay people to turn their cheek and walk the other way. 

As Bucky scanned for something to give away where all the scientists were, his eye met another door in the very corner of the room, it was exactly the same colour of the stone grey walls but the brass door knob caught his eye. All you could hear was the boot of Bucky’s combat boots on the floor, his breath was even scaring him. His hand reached out for the door and when he opened it he found what he was worrying about. 

A cell. More specifically: an empty cell. 

There were chains hanging from the ceiling, one large cuff, one for what seemed to be used for a neck and then four cuffs for wrists and ankles. Bucky completely forgot where he was, he didn’t remember there was an entire lab behind him, all his mind was throwing at his memories of a cell just like this. 

Bucky didn’t remember much about cells in the early days fighting against HYDRA in a cell, in the 40’s. He did, however, remember what it was like to come out of ice when he was needed. The concept of life didn’t exist when he was frozen, it felt like a long blink, it didn’t seem like he’d been asleep for years.

He’d wake up and for a second he was still normal. He’d think it’s cold because it was winter and his house back in the 40’s didn’t have any type of heating system except for a small fireplace, his boots and pants were still on because he got hammered the night before- also explaining the headache -and just fell into bed. All his convincing would go away when his brain would fog again, and he’d look down and catch the shine of his left arm, all at once he’d fall back into place. The dissociating happens after dreams but it came from waking up and not really knowing who he was, as he’d walk to whatever commander was in charge that year he’d ask himself what he was, all the memories and answers in his brain would seem to pull further away, like a word in the tip of his tongue. 

He was ripped from his thoughts manually, he thought of you. He thought he was hypnotizing himself when he looked in there at first, too triggered by what he saw to think straight, but he took another moment to look, he saw the chains swinging back and forth ever so slightly.

His stomach dropped, he knew you were still in the room. “Sweetheart?” he called like he always did, “it’s Bucky, we’re gonna get you out of here, come out, baby.” he tried to sound as soothing as possible, he looked under every lab table and every chair. 

He flipped through pages on his desk, reading the details of what they did to you. “What is I.C.E.?” Bucky asked himself. 

“Injected Complying Enhancement.” 

Bucky turned as fast as he could to see you behind him. You were completely naked, body covered in dirt and grime, your hair was hacked and it seemed to have been pulled. Bucky just looked at your body, words were carved into your skin, every single one of them were infected, puss bubbles around the angry red scars. As his eyes trailed up he saw blue on your finger tips, then he reached your face to see a sunken cheekbone and massive cut on your forehead, but nothing compared to a generous piece of your nose hanging on by a thread, the tip was black. 

“Baby, do you know me?” Bucky asked through heavy tears, this wasn’t what he was expecting. 

You scanned over him, “Sergeant, James Buchanan Barnes, 32557038.” 

Right at that moment, he knew you were gone.

Winter Makes Ice tag list: @small-death-and-codeine​ @commonintrest​ @buckyys-doll​  @lil-baby-nor​

let me know if you want a tag!

[simp4fictionalguys]

Loving the new hype that the JJK anime is bringing!! Can I ask for Yuji x strong fem reader? How would he react to her getting hurt and how would he want to be comforted?? I adore your writing. Keep up the good work ✨

Hey! A Itadori request 🤧 best boy for sure haha. I loved today’s episode! Thank you so much for the compliment! I’m glad that you like my writing, I was a little nervous to start this without knowing if my writing was good enough and not mediocre but comments like this makes my day better and excited to keep writing!

Fushiguro and Y/n were the ones assigned to search for the Sukuna finger. That’s the moment when they met Itadori.

It was a weird meeting if you think about it. However, after that, Y/n and Itadori had been attached to the hip.

The two of them got along almost immediately. They relationship based in playful fighting and teasing. Y/n trying to make Itadori blush without avail (the boy was too oblivious for his own good).

The two of them usually trained together. When they first started their training, Itadori was nervous to do it. What if he hits her too hard? Or if she ends up with a nasty injure?

However, while overthinking, Y/n had already take him down.

Their training sessions consisted in Y/n betting Itadori up. He hasn’t been able to win against her, not even once.

Without realizing it, the two of them had caught feelings. In a pretty Itadori way, he had purred his feelings in one of their training sessions without knowing it. It made Y/n blush and unable to focus at the start, however, Itadori didn’t realize his opportunity and just walked over to her and kissed her lips.

Their friends had laugh and tease them at how Itadori had confessed. Y/n didn’t mind really. She was happy with Itadori now.

From then on, the two of them haven’t had to worry about the other. The two of them being sent to missions together with the other two first years.

Today was the same. The four of them had been sent on a mission together.

“Here’s where the Sukuna finger is suppose to be?” Fushiguro turned to look at Itadori who had his arm in Y/n shoulder while walking. He deadpanned.

“You’re our radar. You should know already.”

Y/n stifle a giggle from her friend remark. Her boyfriend turned to look at her with a fake glare.

They keep walking in the area. They were walking around an hospital, the area was surrounded by trees though. Something weird for an hospital to be.

It didn’t take long for the curses to began acknowledging their presence. The four first years decided to separate in pairs. Itadori and Y/n, while Fushiguro went with Kugisaki.

“Yuuji.” Y/n called at her boyfriend while following the curse running away from them.

Itadori glazed at her showing he was listening to her.

“Don’t let Sukuna out...”

Before the mission, Gojo had pulled Y/n out and talked to her privately.

“I need to ask for a favor Y/n-Chan!”

Y/n crossed her arms at her teacher childish tone. He just smiled at her.

It surprised her how serious he got a second after smiling.

“Don’t let Sukuna take control over Itadori’s body.”

“Huh? Why? I mean, haven’t he taken over before?”

“Yeah, but we don’t have to get used to his strength.”

Itadori hummed at her. His attention was in the curse in front of them. Her words weren’t something he retained in his head.

After her intermission, she put all her attention on the curse. The two of them had to be able to exorcise it without problem but the thing was too fast.

The chasing kept going for a long time. Neither of the two paying attention to their surroundings at the moment. The curse had been able to attract them just the way it wanted.

It took her a while to understand what was this weak curse doing. It had lead them to the boss. The curse that had the Sukuna finger.

It was too late though. The bigger and stronger curse got out of her hiding spot. It had a humanoid body but one could tell that the thing wasn’t human.

The first thing Y/n noticed was how the former curse they were chasing joined the bigger curse’s body

‘So it was part of it... Gross.’

Itadori had run from the left while Y/n went from the right. They strategy was simple. Land fast hits while dodging their attacks.

It worked at the start. However, the longer they hit it, the bigger it got.

“Why aren’t we dealing damage?!”

“Maybe because we’re attacking with cursed energy...”

Itadori turned to look at his girlfriend with a bewildered look.

“How else are we suppose to attack?!”

Y/n straighten her posture. She closed her fist in front of her. In a fats movement she had hit the curse with her pure raw strength. The curse hit back but she was able to dodge and go back to Itadori’s side.

“Why did you do that!” Itadori got close to her checking to see if she was injured or some fatal wound. Y/n smiled at him taking his hands off of her telling him that she was fine.

“Sorry, but look.” She pointed to the curse. Itadori turned around to see that Y/n’s punch had made some damage to it.

“I hit it without curse energy...” She got in position again. The enemy had began charging towards them.

Itadori got in fighting stance too.

‘So no curse energy...’ His fist had no longer curse energy. ‘I’ll have to hit it with just my strength!’

Just like their former strategy, they began landing several hits to the curse, this time without cursed energy.

It worked. The pair had manage to weaken the curse. However, in a moment of distraction, the curse had been able to land a hit.

Y/n saw the curse directing its hit in Itadori’s way. Her mind erase anything not related to her boyfriend, her body moving on its own.

Itadori saw everything in slow motion. One moment he was seeing his enemy fist directing to his face and a second later he saw Y/n take the hit for him.

Y/n feel her body making it’s way to the ground. Itadori’s reflexes saved her from the fall. Now in his arms he retreated a few steps from the curse in a frantic state to check on Y/n.

“Y/n! Hey!” He shook her body a little. “Y/n! Answer me!”

The girl opened her eyes a little. Her head turning to Itadori.

“Yuuji... Im fine...” Y/n tried to stand up but her body gave up against her will.

Yuuji bit his lip at his girlfriend state. He was mad at himself. He should have seen the attack coming his way! If he had he could have dodge and the two of them could have exorcised the curse already!

The descontrol in his emotions had given Sukuna a chance to take over his body without Itadori realizing it.

“Yuuji...! No!” It frustrate her how her voice sound so small. Sadly, she couldn’t do much since her body had run out of energy, her consciousness slowly fading away.

“You care too much about her, brat! Your emotions leaded to my freedom!”

Sukuna had easily defeated the curse. It caught his attention how Itadori hadn’t made an attempt to go back to his body.

Sukuna’s loud and wicked laugher filled the area.

Kugisaki and Fushiguro arrived at the scene. It took them a minute to let the imagen sick in their brain. Fushiguro sprinted to Y/n’s body while Kugisaki followed suit.

Fushiguro had taken Y/n’s body, Kugisaki was in position if Sukuna tried to do something.

“Itadori! Y/n is fine!” Fushiguro yelled for Itadori to come back. Y/n didn’t need Sukuna right now. She needed Itadori Yuuji, her boyfriend !

“Don’t let Sukuna take all the control!” Kugisaki joined Fushiguro trying to get Itadori to come back.

“She ne-“

“Yuuji...! Please!” With her last strength, Y/n was able to call for him.

Sukuna tsked. Itadori had taken control again. The first thing his brain had commanded was to run to Y/n and take her to Jujutsu High to take treatment as soon as possible.

Y/n had woke up in her bed. After the treatment, they had let her rest in her room. She groaned at the pain all over her body. She tried to moved to get out of bed but there was an additional weight in her. Taking a better look at herself she saw her boyfriend cuddling in her side.

Y/n smiled at how cute Itadori looked cuddle beside her like a cat. She run her fingers in his hair gently. Itadori began to stir from his sleep. His movements still affected by his sleepy mode, his eyes landed in his girlfriend’s smiling face.

Y/n was amused at his reaction. His sleepiness had faded faster that lighting, now being replace by an excited Itadori.

“You woke up!” He had throw himself in her without realizing it. Y/n groaned again at the force.

Itadori let go in a hurry, it was funny how fast his body moved trying to check for any more injuries or wounds in her body.

“Yuuji...” She tried to stop him but Itadori didn’t listen to her. “Yuuji! I’m fine!”

Y/n stopped his frantic moves taking his face in her hands. She tried to make eye contact but Itadori kept avoiding her eyes.

“Yuuji... Look at me please...”

Slowly and with trembling eyes, Itadori had focus her eyes on hers.

“I’m sorry... I was so scared when I saw you laying in my arms...!”

Y/n offered a gentle smile trying to ease his stress but Itadori kept getting worked up.

“And I could do anything! And Sukuna ha-“

Itadori was unable to kept talking with his girlfriend lips on his. He corresponded almost instantly. Trying to drown his worries, making sure that she was alive, beside him.

When the need for oxygen had presented, they separate from each other. Y/n got ride of the little tears escaping from his eyes gently with her thumb, he hadn’t realized they were there.

“Why don’t we cuddle?” Itadori nodded at her words, laying gently beside her.

“It wasn’t your fault Yuuji. I chose to protect you. And I’ll happily do it again.”

Itadori hugged her tighter at her words.

“Thank you...”

She stroked his hair gently. Itadori relaxed at the sweet action.

“You know...”

Itadori turned to look at her from his spot. Y/n avoided his eyes with a red face.

“You look kinda hot when Sukuna takes over your body...”

Itadori looked at her with a deadpanned expression.

“Gross Y/n.”

[spencersstrawberryjello]

Zugzwang (Spencer Reid)

Summary: SPOILERS FOR SEASON 8 ANGST ANGST ANGST it's just Spencer's thoughts from the beginning of season 8 episode 13, him reflecting on everything that went down with the Zugzwang episode

Content: ANGST it’s all angst this episode stomped on my heart so I wanted this one shot to do the same

Warnings: Descriptions of violence and depressive thoughts and actions, as well as swearing

MC’s name and pronouns: No alternate main character, just Spencer Reid being sad

Word Count: 1451

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“Spence, listen, if you’re in there we just wanna know that you’re alright,” JJ called through his apartment door. When he didn’t respond, Garcia chimed in from next to her, an overflowing gift basket now resting at her feet.

“Knock twice if you’re conscious!” She called. After a moment, two definitive knocks echoed through the hallway and she sighed, turning to JJ with a pained expression.

“Is he ever gonna be ok?”

JJ nodded, trying to smile in comfort but coming out with something that looked more like a grimace. “Eventually. And he knows that we’re all here for him, no matter what.” 

She raised her voice on the last sentence so Spencer could hear her through the apartment door, and Garcia echoed her sentiment. After another moment of silence, JJ glanced back to the woman beside her.

“Come on,” She ushered her down the stairs, Garcia following her reluctantly. He heard their footsteps retreat down the hall, listening to the echo of their heels until he couldn’t hear them any longer. 

On the other side of the door, Spencer sat motionless on the floor, his back slumped against the hard wood, unwashed hair hanging limp in front of his eyes. He eventually mustered up the energy to cross his destroyed apartment back towards the couch where he’d practically lived since the night his life went to shit. He felt momentarily proud of himself for doing the simple act of communicating; for the first time in two weeks, he felt like he might take a shower, eat something healthy, retrieve one of the dozens of gift baskets Penelope had left outside his apartment door. That was, until his eyes landed on the coffee table.

That book. 

His steps faltered, The Narrative of John Smith sitting silently in front of him, sending a rush of memories back through his mind as he picked it up, gripping it like a lifeline.

That book had been sent to him at the restaurant, a gift just before they were about to meet. A gift that showed just how connected they were, as it was identical to the one he planned to give to her. 

Right after that evening, he wished he didn’t call off their date. Her safety was the first thing in his mind, of course, but the fact that they were so close… it hurt. Now, he wished he’d called her back, had her wait in the cab so he could make sure the area was safe before she got there. He was a fucking FBI agent, after all.

He wished he’d seen her before it all went to hell.

Instead, all that remained was the book.

The book that was now stained with his tears. 

The book that was the only thing he had left of Maeve.

The book, and 2,412 hours in his memory.

Because that’s all she was now: a memory.

The thought punched him in the stomach, and he collapsed back onto the couch, hugging the book close to his chest in an attempt to fight the tears that were already running down his face. Exhaustion clawed its way to the front of his mind, driven by the seemingly unending stream of tears that had been on and off since the night of Maeve’s death. 

Murder. Maeve’s murder. The thought sent an unfamiliar shock of blinding rage through his mind. 

He knew about the five stages of grief, of course. He was an expert in human behavior, and he knew grief best of all. He’d seen it exhibited in so many ways, in so many different people he’d profiled. 

But he’d never felt it like this before. 

Even having his mom sent to the hospital hadn’t hurt as badly as this, and that had hurt pretty damn badly. But this was a different kind of grief: it was all-consuming, soul-crushing, the kind of pain you only felt when you knew something had come to an end. When you knew that you were never going to get something you wanted back. 

He was never going to get Maeve back.

He’d replayed that night over and over again in his mind, so many times he was sure it was burned into his brain. He’d watched the scene in his mind like a movie, trying to think of any way he could’ve possibly saved her. 

“I don’t love you.”

Those were the last words he ever said to her. 

And god, he’d loved her. He’d never had to tell a harder lie than that one. To finally get the chance to look at the most beautiful girl in the world, face to face, and to have to tell a lie that was so heartbreaking he could barely get it off of his lips destroyed him. And yet, he did it. Because he thought that if he did, he’d have a chance to explain afterwards. To apologize. To tell her that he loved her so much it made him dizzy. 

To hold her.

But the image of her body on the floor, blood pooling around her… it cut through every single happy thought he could conjure up. Be it memory or fantasy, nothing could beat back the brutal scene.

“Thomas Merton.”

He had fallen for her mind. And she had fallen for his.

“He knows.”

He wasn’t even able to muster up a response, his mind filled with nothing but her voice.

“He’s the one thing you’ll never take from us.”

Thomas Merton was her goodbye. Her final message for him, said in a code only they would understand. The message bounced around his mind now, a broken farewell that killed them both.

Maybe it was her reaching out to him from whatever comes after the hellscape he was living through. Trying to tell him it would be ok.

But how could it be ok when he remembered every word they exchanged. Every joke, every book recommendation, every payphone conversation that was worth every cent.

He remembered exactly how her voice had sounded when she said those three words that changed everything. 

“Bye. Love you.”

A slip-up, probably. So used to conversations with parents, ending every call with the phrase just in case something unimaginable happened before you saw that person again. But he wished, more than anything else, that he’d called her back that day. That he’d faked forgetting something she told him, even though that would be impossible. That he’d pretended to need to mention something just so he could end the call with those three words.

“Bye. Love you.”

Somewhere in his heart, he knew she’d meant it. That it wasn’t a mistake. 

He sure as hell would’ve meant it.

“I don’t love you.”

He’d sat there while Diane touched him, her hands a trail of pain across his chest. Even the thought of it made him want to scrub his skin clean, made him want to erase every spot she’d tainted, as if he hadn’t already tried that the moment he got home. 

And his lips.

God, if he’d only closed his eyes. If he’d only played into the lie one step more, Maeve might be in his arms right now.

Instead, he held her book in his arms, tracing his finger over the note that he’d read a thousand times, even though he could recite it by memory after only once. 

Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - We find it with another.

His eyes drifted over tear stains that got dangerously close to smudging the ink on the page, and he closed the cover, acutely aware of the hollow feeling in his chest. The tears that felt like an endless well suddenly felt dried up, leaving nothing but a pit right through his heart. He wasn’t sure which feeling was more miserable. Grief and guilt combined to form a hurricane of torment, battering at his mind until he was sure that nothing would remain.

His eyes drifted to the curtain-covered windows across from his couch, not really focusing on anything around him. His mind had wandered so much in the last two weeks that he wasn’t sure if it would ever return to the way it was. He felt like he should probably get up, do something, but the mere thought was too exhausting to handle. So, he let his mind wander, drifting to the thought that he felt guilty even having. 

He thought they deserved to be happy.

He thought they deserved more than 100.5 days together. 

He thought they deserved something worth fighting for, even when both of their lives were so twisted in so many dark ways. 

Apparently he thought wrong.

[petekaos]

chanon & pom, now in character

hi. in the aftermath of episode ten of the gifted graduation, i have sobbed, drank tea, forced myself to rewatch some of the most painful scenes in existence, and provide you now with the inner workings of my cursed, cursed mind. this is me debunking every single thing that happened with chanon and pom in tgg episode 10.

so. here’s how chanonpom can still win.

1. the chanonpom reunion 

i feel like it was obvious to fairly everyone that this reunion was out of character. first of all, chanon keeps manifesting out of nowhere with absolutely no explanation other than the fact that he has a car. how did he know that pom ‘colluded’ with the director? how did he know he’s there? if we assume that he was working with the director in order to take his revenge on pom as we learn later in the episode (which is also out of character but we’ll get to that later), it’s still completely dumbfounding that the director has pulled so many strings in the background to orchestrate meetings such as this.

next we come to the problem of there being absolutely no expression on pom’s face when he sees chanon. does he already know that chanon is alive? how does he know that? last we saw, pom had no clue that chanon was alive and mourned him deeply. now, we see him see chanon and tell him to “go back,” to go away as this is none of his business. from what we know about chanon and pom, we know that they haven’t seen each other since they were in high school. chanon knew pom was a teacher, but pom almost certainly didn’t know chanon was alive - so this reaction is such an... understatement? here is the person who he wiped the memories of, literally coming back from the dead, and that’s his only reaction...? even chanon’s reaction as chanon (disregarding his apparent revenge he wants to take) is more realistic than pom’s reaction here. all in all, the reunion felt very flat and unrealistic considering that we, the audience, know that pom and chanon haven’t seen each other in so long. again, maybe this will be talked about later in the show, but so far - no sense made.

2. pom at the beginning of this episode

this is actually fairly true to pom. as someone who is almost thirty and has been manipulated by the director since he was in high school, he must be feeling absolutely hopeless and defeated, trying to fool himself into believing that he is free when he’s being controlled by the director. but pom, as has been established in the gifted, has never been one to teach his students this. here, he’s trying to protect pom, but he would have never told him to throw in the towel and stop fighting for what is right. much like chanon, he is tired, but the fact that he’s saying this to pang seems... very out of character. 

consider this. this is from episode 12 (part 4) of the gifted, and this is when he’s just been told about pang and wave’s plan to stop the director. here, it becomes clear that he would never collude with the director voluntarily, nor would he ever tell his students to stop fighting. before this, he wishes them good luck and gives them advice. his number one priority are his students, and he wants to teach them and make sure they don’t get expelled or hurt in any way or form, but he had perfect opportunity to stop them here - and didn’t. 

exactly why this is also completely out of character. he would never agree to willingly erase his student’s memories. it has been established time and time again that his priority are his students, and he would never collude with the director in order to harm them in any way. this becomes apparent later in the episode too, when pang gets put into direct life-threatening danger, that he would not stand for it and is prepared to sacrifice himself for them.

3. chanon’s side of the chanonpom argument 

and this is the part of the episode where i call BULLSHIT. while it is... natural for chanon to be bitter that pom did that to him, let’s remember who this man really is. he’s not a casual acquaintance, neither is he someone who got caught in the crossfire. chanon was ready to sacrifice everything for pom, he was ready to let his own name be dragged through the mud to protect pom and to expose the director’s abusive and dangerous actions. 

look at him. he says that this is the director’s fault. teenage chanon says that what happened is not something pom has to take responsibility for alone. and then teenage pom was manipulated by the director into doing this to his best friend - and you think adult chanon wouldn’t realise it was the same thing? that it was the director’s manipulation that caused pom to wipe his memories? yes, pom needs to atone for his actions, but it is not his fault alone. and the fact that adult chanon doesn’t recognise that is very out of character to me, especially considering the following.

he was ready. he was ready to sacrifice everything for pom. shipping lenses aside, he was ready to sacrifice his own name so that his best friend wouldn’t have to atone for what he did. teenage chanon made this choice - a child who still had so many years left, so much to look forward to, was so devoted that he pledged his entire life to darkness just so his best friend didn’t have to deal with it. and you’re telling me that adult chanon would be so bitter about losing ten years of his life that he would stage an entire revenge plot that included the director, the very person he was working to overthrow, and stab his best friend in the neck with a deadly virus? when his teenage self was already about to throw it all away for said best friend already? it doesn’t make any canonical sense at all.

and... he did. teenage chanon was ready. and adult chanon would have been too.

4. pom’s side of the chanonpom argument 

this was the bit that was incredibly out of character for pom. first of all, how does he know so much about chanon’s life now? also... while i understand that he could be feeling this, seeing as he was under supot’s control for so long, he would have never said this to chanon. especially after he remembered what he did to him and he felt so bad about what he was manipulated into doing to him that he made himself forget. 

remember this? remember when he recalled everything that chanon had done for him and how terrible he felt that he broke down in tears in front of two of his students, on his knees, and apologised to him? you’re telling me that this same pom would hurl such insults and accusations into chanon’s face? this man has been through so much trauma, so much pain, and the fact that he was manipulated into doing this to his own best friend has eaten away at him for so long. in the following scenes he is extremely resigned and hurt. he has never forgiven himself for any of it - which is why it’s natural to expect that he would never stop apologising to chanon... instead of talking about whose life is worse.

this is what tipped me off that either the tgg writers really went wrong with this episode or this is all a ruse. because although pom must be feeling absolutely terrible and trapped because of supot manipulating him for all these years - he would never say this. why would he never say this? as has been established before, pom loves his students. they are his first priority. he cares about them to death and even if he had the choice, i doubt he would switch schools to teach because he genuinely loves teaching the gifted and helping them work on their potentials. remember - this is the same pom who offered pang and wave advice on how they should avoid the director. remember - this is the same pom who stood up for korn to darin and asked her if she really cared about the students. remember - this is the same pom who literally sacrifices himself for pang later in this episode. 

in the end... what is pom’s core desire?

and what is chanon’s?

and so pom would never throw chanon or his students to the wayside. and chanon would never throw betray pom and take revenge on him by colluding with the director. neither of them would commit half the actions or say half the things they said in this episode. we have to remember that these two went through thick and thin together, were the first two to try and overthrow the gifted program. one of them was ready to sacrifice everything for the other. honestly i refuse to accept that things will stay like this for them.

so how can chanonpom still win? well... the virus that chanon stabbed into pom’s neck has different equations on it to see which one is fake and which one is real. reminder: chanon’s potential is being able to solve equations and do complicated maths questions at a fairly fast rate... and that’s all i’m going to say.

their story is inherently one of tragedy. but that doesn’t mean it has to be forever.

[pigeoncentric]

i did an A:TLA rewatch and took notes because that’s just what i do, and here’s the notes if anyone wants to see my thoughts

i haven't watched atla since about a year before korra started airing, so like, around 2011. i should also mention that i never watched korra through to the end, but i guess i'll do that after this. if i feel like it. i do know that the biggest bottles were never popped

i have such a clear memory of the first episode. it must've been on nickelodeon pretty often, even though when it was airing, i only watched it occasionally. i remember they also aired the library episode super often.

aang's voice is so tiny and sweet

i gotta turn off my dumb adult brain and put my dumb kid brain back on so i can better appreciate the nickelodeonness of it all

sokka and zuko's first interaction.......

zuko's intimidating approach and then his tiny teen voice

SOKKA AND ZUKO'S SECOND INTERACTION............

zuko's like "i'm going home." with aang. he must be feeling an incredible mixture of feelings, thinking he has the avatar and can reclaim his Honor. but he also must be terrified to go back, and in disbelief... fortunately he's not going home like he said and there are even more confused feelings in between

i just remembered that iroh's voice actor dies between seasons :(

thinking a lot about dante basco... no thoughts in particular, just a lot of them... and how he shipped zutara lmao

"my troubles cannot be soaked away!"

hei bai looks like a ben 10

mounts list (added to as i progressed through the series): zuko's rhinos. earth armored ostriches. metal noshing mole. north pole goatyak. azula and friends' fur geckos. sabertooth moose lion if you're not a wimp. appa-sized beetle. moose with aquatic features. Eel Hound.

you can't out-mom-friend katara. even when she's yelling and being reckless

it's true... airbenders are weak to nets.

the n*tfli* captions are making several mistakes. eat my ass ne*f*ix and hire me to do flawless captioning instead you dumb fucks

YEAH! even by episode 13 in season 1 we already know zuko is a good boy! well also by episode 12. and earlier. well i've seen the series before.

i've just learned that zach tyler eisen is the voice of aang and i have to give him huge props for having the perfect voice. i pay a lot of attention to voice acting, usually in a nitpicky way, and i've never heard an english voice actor whose voice is perfect on the level of ikue ohtani... and when he was like 12 years old. incredible. i'm not being remotely sarcastic

i gotta be 100% honest. i had completely forgotten the existence of zhao and that he's actually a pretty important character, at least in season 1. also his voice actor is pretty good. generally the voice acting is good in this show, and i'm picky.

god the animation where aang makes one catapult catapult the other is so good. also appa just picked up and grabbed a guy. with his fist. wait how many toes does appa have? is that 18 in total? also appa has scutes on his ventrum. anyway i love that appa can pick up and grab a guy but generally chooses not to. gives it more weight when he does choose to

zuko tells turtle seals to be quiet and then touches them unkindly :(

zuko busted out of katara's ice orb instead of melting it :\

zuko put his hood up like iroh told him to but aang just has his naked bald head in the snowy cold :(

seeing zhao grab and bag the moon spirit fish made me feel sick. such a foul act

god. the quality rope. i noticed sokka mention it and was like, "was this a chekhov's gun or a red herring" and then a few minutes later there was a pointed pan over to the quality rope.

anyway examining the quality of the voice acting here leads me to a thesis i might gather evidence to prove: american english voice acting for cartoons is far higher quality than american english voice acting for anime dubs. or is that just something obvious that everyone already agrees on

anyway anyway, the episode ended without the quality rope being put to use. unless i missed it, which is entirely possible.

jesus i heard azula's first lines and got an instant flashback to all the tumblr drama about grey delisle and her tumblr account and how she pretended it wasn't hers or something let's just erase all of this from my brain right now

this is kind of out of nowhere and borderline inappropriate but i'm glad characters in avatar are illustrated with nipples when they're shirtless... it always disturbs me a tiny bit when shirtless characters are depicted with zero nipple, not even a hint of nipple. (Aladdin.) not just because it implicitly stigmatizes something everyone has, but also because this scenario always plays in my head where it's like, a little kid sees a cartoon character without nipples and they think, "so i'm not supposed to have these..." and they start feeling weird and bad about themself... all you need to depict a nipple is a single unobtrusive dot. nothing visually offensive or explicit about it.

even to an audience who doesn't understand any cultural context, you can't not see the significance of zuko and iroh cutting off their topknots...

fandom seems to see sokka as the silliest one when in fact at least 40% of his entire role as a character is to be the tsukkomi

underrated moment: "you've got an elbow leech." "WHERE?! WHERE?!"

zuko should be a good boy and only steal if it's from pirates

stealy zuko stealing money and buying iroh a teapot !

god i forgot what a tiny baby voice toph has... so tiny

zuko trying really really hard but doing a bad job hammering (tears)

azula set up zuko and mai for a lucky sukebe...

when zuko's mom told him not to forget who he is, she didn't mean to remember that he's a prince and an heir as he revealed to the unsuspecting earth kingdom village. she meant to remember that he's someone with at least the base level of empathy and compassion, unlike most of his immediate family...

i still think aang's voice actor did a great job but i bet it sucks to be a young boy doing an excellent young boy voice and then when you grow up a little and presumably experience some puberty you just Cannot do the young boy voice anymore. hopefully in most cases where that happens, it's at least not abrupt

placing a bet that the writer for episode s2:e10 (the library) is different than most of the other episodes. i don't like it very much, at least in the first several minutes. if it's a name i recognize from the credits of several other episodes, i might be a bit disappointed in them. seriously, there's one stinker after another. and with such a great concept of an episode...

i didn't recognize the name of the guy who wrote this episode so i thought i was right but no, he wrote a bunch of episodes. must have been off his game for this one... either that or i'm in a very unforgiving mood and don't realize it... also when i went on wikipedia to look at who wrote which atla episodes, i learned that the animation for the show was split between two animation studios, and they're both korean. ah, i guess that doesn't mean all the animation took place overseas, as DM movie has a headquarters in the US. according to wikipedia.

oh, they're BUZZards... i get it... i gotcha.

aang with a vengeance is both scary and sad to see. but he does understand that property damage is nothing compared to a life

people who love azula are the exact same as people who love vriska: [comment redacted]

they have american birds in the avatar world. i keep hearing an eastern wood-peewee going "pee-pee-uwee" in the background :3

the serpent's pass seems geologically implausible.

sokka should really get face paint all over his face when he kisses suki. or like, the cartoonish image of when someone is covered in lipstick lip smacks, but it should be suki's makeup color

appa's been through so much and now he has to meet a boarcupine?!?! fortunately he still knows how to pick up and grab... but still :(

he touched appa's scutes and read them like a palm...

longshot translated his meaningful stares into out-loud words for katara and friends

zuko forgot that azula always lies :(

zuko should know that being redeemed in his father's eyes is the opposite of what he wants...

i LOVE aang's passionate tsungi horn dance

there are spring peepers in the fire nation

god the dripping of the rotten clams is so excessive

you know how ultrasonic humidifiers can create water vapor without heating it into steam, by vibrating it super fast? let's try that with waterbending, it'll be cool

two different bad guys have been skipped across the water like a rock

i love the fake time lapse of cleaning the river... and it showed how with pollution in real life, stopping the source of the pollution is not enough. it needs to be removed as well

sokka deserves LOTS of credit just for being able to handle a boomerang.

GOD THE SLOW PAN OVER THE BEAUTIFUL SWORD (in 3:4)

sokka also deserves LOTS of credit for being able to admit he doesn't know everything.

i managed to forget that zuko turns his back on iroh, while remembering that at some point, iroh gets buff

the voice of sokka's master is the voice of the boulder. right? right? no? are you kidding me? i suck at this

seems like kissing azula would have immediate consequences, like something melting

zuko is poorly socialized

zuko still forgot that azula always lies. even when she's being somewhat humanized in an episode like this.

so avatar roku had earthly attachments he did not let go of, presumably. such as his wife. did he have unfettered access to the avatar state? that's what i would ask him during this expositionfest if i was aang.

so sozin could do heatbending... that's amazing. i think i missed that the first time around.

that's right, zuko came back and his hair is long enough, but he hasn't recreated his topknot.

hawky is the only atla animal that poops on camera.

if you're gonna bend sweat, you might as well bend spit, and it's a little easier to obtain

wait so... is combustion man also a heatbender? i'll have to look into it later. [looked into it later: the avatar wiki has termed it "combustionbending?" are you shitting me?]

ooh it's the bloodbending episode! i'm pumped.

someone made a post about how when they watched this show and they were a kid they were thinking about how the characters are hot, and now they're watching as an adult and the characters are all tiny children... that's how i've been feeling. also season 3 episode 8 aang's voice sounds a little bit pubertous.

anyway damn this bloodbending episode is outright traumatic. good shit

oh, now zuko's topknot is back.

appa's armor covers each individual toe <:3c

i seriously misremembered the course of zuko's character development. and the timeline of the invasion in general. but now i understand that zuko has to tell his dad to eat shit face to face.

watching zuko's "zuko here" practice speech hurts 100% as much as it did the first time i saw it. and when he's delivering it to the gaang it's impossible to watch. i didn't put my hands on my head-- they just went there unbidden.

i kinda can't help picturing dante basco's face every time i hear zuko talk. the whole time. it's sometimes not optimal to know the faces of voice actors. especially when you're like me and you're not good at pushing out unwanted mental images.

what the fuck, combustion man? he just loves assassination so much you can't take back any orders. also i can't help but imagine that if you put a slice across his third eye his combustion would be fully inhibited. well i guess that's not a problem anymore.

i like that the gaang are a variety of heights, and that they're all noticeably shorter than most of the adults they meet. it just makes it feel realistic

if it was a US max security prison and prisoners were escaping they'd probably just fucking murder them

i love how when mai starts up the gondola again and azula is like "what is she DOING!" and ty lee just makes an "iunno" noise

tfw your best friend abandons you because you wouldn't let her murder her own brother

chit seng didn't get to free his girlfriend and best buddy :(

funny how azula seems almost docile when she's getting everything she wants. typical narcissist. well ok not the least bit typical.

sokka ate the rose. i remembered this scene Too clearly. but i didn't remember that.

um... was that the full moon? when katara bloodbent that guy? i should've looked at the sky... i went back and looked and still didn't see if it was the full moon. maybe the wiki knows. i don't care enough to look it up properly.

i was wondering when the melon lord would show up

none of the teens understand the obvious solution of defeating the fire lord by beating him INTO SUBMISSION (or oblivion) instead of killing him. just like in every anime fight ever. it's over when you acknowledge you've lost or you can't fight anymore, not when you die. (for the #1 best example of ending a fight the right way, see the way luffy defeats crocodile.)

so i know aang's gonna defeat the fire lord by essentially hitting him with a forced purification beam to the face and make him realize the errors of his ways or something. the fun part is how we get there

bumi bending entire houses through the air

aw i forgot the turtle island didn't have a cute face.

jyong jyong firebent a jet platform to fly around on?!

i guess the firelord can fly around like bakugou katsuki

i forgot that aang took away his firebending... and sokka hops up to him like "well, look at you, buster"

i'm glad i decided to watch this again. even if i didn't do a great job paying attention tbh. well i did spend a bit of time carving a little wooden spoon while i was watching. anyway i was thinking i wouldn't move right on to korra but rather read some of the atla comics that i know exist but have never read whatsoever. i wonder if i can find them in some kind of library...

  i found the comics illegally on the internet and read a whole bunch (up until the end of the "zuko finds his mom" arc). i didn't write my thoughts down as i was reading, so i don't remember them. that's how my worthless brain works. i do remember that i found the comics satisfactory as an accurate extension of the show, and that i feel ambivalent about how azula is written/treated in the comics.

i don’t know if i feel like rewatching korra yet.

[crashingwavesinmyworld]

This was by far my favorite episode of Riverdale

My heart broke and I cried so hard for Cheryl and Archie and I was so glad Betty finally called her mom out on all of her shit

Alice is such a piece of shit and it bugged me that Betty seemed to forgive her in the end like yes it’s good she got her money back but that doesn’t erase all the shit Alice has done. But I’m still proud of her for addressing all the shit Alice has put her through.

Archie is such an amazing person and I just want him to be happy

It was so cute when Veronica was so happy to get into Harvard and I HATE Hiram for making her feel like she wasn’t good enough to do it on her own.

This is the storyline I’ve wanted Cheryl to have for so long. I’m so glad all her trauma was finally addressed.

The FP/Jughead moment was sweet and I actually teared up but I wish it wasn’t made to seem like FP never made Jughead feel like shit. He wasn’t father of the year. He’s gotten a lot better in season 4 but I feel like the trauma FP put Jughead through in the past should have been addressed too.

Okay can they STOP with this flash forward shit about Jugheads “death” we all know it’s fake and that Brett and Donna did whatever it was so stop already.

Wtf is happening in next weeks episode. Poor Betty Alice leave her alone

[wesker20]

Fallen Hero 1.5 Episode 13 Revenge: One Month Later

Episode 12: The Rise of Sidestep Part 2: My Name...

           One Month Later…

           You got to give credit to Zeta. He’s patient. One month and nothing. Not a zip. Just silence. So much silence that you have returned to your deeds as Mastermind as if everything was normal. Your crew seems more comfortable with you. Or less uncomfortable with you. They seem to have accepted what you did at Bloodmoon or at the very least don’t think about it that much. Surely Jane’s presence has helped with that too. She is the more approachable part of you after all.

           Argent has been on your ass lately too. She seems a bit more pissed off compared to your earlier encounters. More determined. But not as much as you expected taking into consideration what happened at Bloodmoon.

           Red Doll is another one. She has taken to chasing you like a dog chasing a bone. Only that instead of playing with the bone the dog wants to tear it apart, burn it to ashes, and then throw the ashes on a volcano. And that’s on top of all the other vigilantes who now chase you, not just because they want to get a reputation now, but because they now have a reason to hate your guts. If it was reputation as a bona fide villain that you wanted, you have it.

           The underworld, on the other hand, has changed their tune and now you are practically the boogeyman. All of the gangs that took your name suddenly disappeared and new gangs emerged to take their place; gangs composed of former members of the previous gangs.

           All in all, you are not sure whether to hug Zeta for his unintentional help with the underworld, or strangle him for making your current life a living hell with all of Los Diablos heroes on your ass.

           Rangers HQ – Kitchen

           “Everything alright?” Ortega asks, bringing you back into reality. Well, the present reality rather than the past reality.

           “Yeah, I’m fine. Just, thinking,” you tell her, which is not that much of a lie. These chats have become something of a welcome distraction lately. Whenever you are not planning for your next hit, or waiting for Zeta to make his move, you have come here to either talk or help out however you could. Kept you away from thinking too much about other things. Thinking about other memories…

           “What about?”

           “Well, a lot. You with all the stuff that’s been happening in the last couple of months.” She stares at you with a soft look, almost as if processing everything that has indeed happened.

           She chuckles. “Don’t break your head over it. Trust me.”

           “Speaking from experience?” you say with a smirk. She probably is.

           “Yeah…” she sighs.

           You wonder if you should ask her about it. She was not there but she still saw the end result. And Argent was there too. You know you would not want anyone to witness that, let alone one of your friends. “Want to talk about it?” you finally say dropping your casual tone.

           “There’s not much to talk about. I wasn’t there. Angie was, and… well… she’s not exactly sharing it.” In her shoes you wouldn’t. You can barely think about it without shivering. Or at least you used to. Now you feel… nothing. Almost as if those emotions have been hidden away or gotten erased. You wonder if it has to do with the fact you were the one responsible for Bloodmoon.

           “Never took Argent for a sharer.”

           “She really isn’t,” she begins and pauses, looking at you with a quizzical look on her face. “A lot like you actually.”

           You chuckle a bit. “Really? How?”

           “You are both always so reserved and closed. Like try to live a little but no, you prefer that tiny little world of yours. Powers away, you two are lot alike.” She takes a sip of her drink.

           “If I didn’t knew you any better, I’d say you were trying to set us up,” you joke, taking a sip of your drink, hiding your chuckle.

           She spits drink, laughing. “Oh god, no,” she begins taking a napkin to clean herself up. “That would be so hard, just to get you two to…” she stops herself, tapping her chin as if deep in thought. “Although…”

           “No!” you cut her off a little too quickly.

           She simply smiles. “oh come on.”

           “No. I’m an asshole and I can barely deal with myself. Let alone two assholes. Besides last I checked I wasn’t even worth a glance.”

           “Angie is not…” she taps her chin. “Ok yeah, she can be. But trust me, once you get on her good side, she’s actually very sweet. Again, kind of like-”

           “Don’t say it,” you cut her off, eating the last piece of your chocolate bar and throwing the paper at the trashcan. “I’m not interested.”

           “Sure you are. Who are you lying to,” a third voice chimes in. The last voice you wanted to hear today. Jane’s voice. Or rather, the Jane from your head. “Be honest. You want to get on with that silver lady, rip her clothes off and see that sexy body. You want to feel that skin on yours like a-” ‘stop it’ you tell her mentally. At least one thing you have learned in the last month about her.

           “Besides, since when do you play matchmaker?”

           “Since I’ve had to deal with you two idiots,” she chuckles. You put your hand on your chest, faking offense.

           “Julia Ortega, you wound me.” She laughs and takes another sip.

“I’m honest. You need some social life, she needs a social life. You were practically made for each other.”

“I fail to see how that would even work. Besides she’s not my type.” At that Ortega completely spills over her drink.

“You want me remind you of Luna?” Oh god no. Not that. Luna is an assassin you fought back in your Sidestep days. She was hired to kill some business men, and you, like the naïve idiot that you were, jumped in to protect them. Sufficient to say you two did have something of a chemistry. Nothing came of it, of course, but Ortega always teased you about it, even threatened to take a picture and post it on the fridge once. As for her mission, Luna was not known to fail, and fail she did not. One of your several loses you could say. You shake your head in shame as Ortega laughs again.

Silence overtakes for several minutes before a wonder comes to mind. “By the way, where’s Herald?”

           “Where else, in a press conference with the Mayor regarding the last couple of months.”

           “Poor kid. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.”

           “Still remember the days when I was the one there?.” You simply nod. Ortega was always called to represent the Rangers and you were always dragged into it; unless you wanted to stay alone with Steel. You made sure to keep yourself hidden so that they wouldn’t find you, but that did not protect you from the reporters, politicians, and others. You feel pity for Herald, even if he looks good on camera and can probably take it, playing second fiddle to the Mayor is never pretty.

           “Remember how we always had to sneak away ‘cause your fans would surround us?” you tell her.

           She laughs. “Yeah. My favorite one was when we had to use the bike to get away.” You groan at the memory. Ortega was the driver and you were the unfortunate passenger. You never let Ortega drive you in a bike ever again after that.

           “You mean the time you nearly killed us?” you chuckle.

           “Oh come on, it wasn’t that bad.” You simply stare at her, wishing that you could get in her head to pass on the memory of the day. But it seems the look on your face says it all. “Alright, maybe it was that bad. But admit it, you had fun.”

           “Definitely more fun than your disappointed fans.”

           “Yeah. Surprised I still have some.”

           “You do?”

           She nods. “Yeah. Hell, couple of days ago this journalist came and told me he was a fan.”

           “huh, Journalist?”

           “Yeah, an independent one. He has some magazine apparently.” You sigh while smiling.

           “Guess you still have it even in your old age,” you tease. You immediately raise your hands in surrender as she stares at you. “Don’t shoot me,” you say and the two of you just laugh it off. “What’s the name of the magazine anyway? Maybe I’ll check it out.”

           “It was…” she taps her chin trying to remember. “…ta. Something with ta. Ta, ta, ta. Zeta magazine.” You feel your heart stop beating, your body freezes over, and the smile you had been sporting up until now fades into a straight line. You manage to hide it all from Ortega and continue.

           “What did he looked like?” Please don’t say smaller than me with brown hair. Please don’t say smaller me with brown hair.

           “He was small. Smaller than you actually. And brown hair. Dressed with a white long sleeves shirt.” Your stomach twists and turns. Her voice fades away, everything fades away as you lock yourself in your mind. He was here, Zeta was here. And he spoke to Ortega. Why?

           “-member the name, sorry.” Ortega’s voice brings you back to reality. “Everything alright?”

           “Yeah, yeah. I just remembered something.”

           “Anything important?” you shake your head.

           “I’ll be going now. Tomorrow’s gonna be a busy day.” It really will be now.

           “Sure. I’ll take you to the entrance.” You feel the instant need to tell her you know the way. But that would just raise some eyebrows and reveal how nervous you are, so you let her.

           The walk to the entrance is painful, you count every second that passes, every breath you take, and the people in your way just irritate you beyond believe.

           “Well good news is your plan worked,” you hear Jane’s voice right next to you, keeping up with you as a third invisible member to your walk. “Bad news is you should have expected it to be something like this.” You don’t even bother to answer her. You know. You should have predicted this. But you didn’t. You expected him to maybe attack someplace else, maybe give you a call threatening you. You never expected him to actually go after the Rangers. It’s suicide if he wishes to remain unnoticed.

           You arrive at the entrance and give your goodbyes to Julia. You wait for her to get as far away as possible before you begin your desperate sprint out. You don’t bother to excuse yourself as you bump into everyone outside, they do not matter at the moment. You have to get back to your hideout and plan out your next move. You’ve had one month to think it up, but you could barely come up with something without knowing what Zeta would try next. Now that you have an idea, you can get something.

           He came to Ranger and talked to Julia, specifically her. No doubt because he knows what you two had. So what was his purpose? Information gathering? Makes sense with his cover as an independent journalist. But then why did he name his magazine after himself? That’s just stupid, straight up sloppy. You don’t use something that obvious unless… unless you are not trying to hide. Unless you expect the person to relay the name to an intended target.

           Your phone rings. Damn it, who could be now. You grab the phone and look at the number. Unknown…

           You push ‘send’ and slowly raise it to your ear. “What!?” you say, your voice bitter.

           “I like your friend Ortega. She reminds me a lot of Alpha. I see why you fell for her.” your heart stops again as you try to hold back whatever this is that’s rising through your body. “I can see why you replaced Alpha with her.”

           “I did not replace anyone.”

           “Yes you did. The rangers, that crew of worthless criminals? They are all replacements for us. Your team. The team you destroyed.”

           “I-” you begin but the words stay on your throat.

           “If you haven’t been wishing for all of those things you wouldn’t have had to replace us at all because nothing would have happened. We would have all stayed together and alive.”

           “I told you to come with me. You refused.”

           “Because I told you that there was nothing for us out here. And even if there was, there was no escaping the farm. I mean look at you. You escaped and got captured anyway.” You gulp. The memories of those days coming back to you, but you bury them down. “and now you are a villain, hurting people like that Red Doll girl. You remember her boyfriend, right? How you crushed his skull with your bare hands?”

           “What do you want Zeta? If you want me dead I’m right here.” You hear him laughing at the other end.

           “You don’t deserve death. Death is a rest. It’s a better alternative than what happened to Alpha. You don’t deserve that rest. No. I want your whole world to collapse on you and for you to sit on that empty world with nothing at the end. Starting now.”

           “What do you mean?”

           “I want to play a game, Jeremy.” He says your name with mockery, as if it a filthy thing to say. Your name. Her name. Her gift. “I call it, how fast can you save your friends without them noticing. I mean you could tell them. But then you would have to explain to them who I am and why I’m after you. And how I was sneaky enough to set up a bomb inside their headquarters.” You feel yourself choking.

           “What!”

           “I put a bomb. Don’t disarm it, and it goes boom, adios half of Rangers HQ and about 10 miles worth of streets and people. Disarm it, and you still have to get it out without anybody noticing. Again, unless you are willing to explain it all to them, it makes no difference to me. And because I’m feeling generous today I’ll give you a general area to search. The bomb is in the visitors’ area. Yeah, I know. Not the most structurally important site, and trust me if it was up to me I would have set it deeper but, you know, security in there is more than even I can handle. And besides what fun is a game if I put it in an impossible area for you to reach. Good luck. You have about thirty minutes before everything goes kabloom.” Before you can answer the line goes dead.

           Thirty minutes. Julia is probably still in the visitors area, and even if she wasn’t, she is still probably close to it. Ten miles radius. You have a slight idea what bomb he is talking about. Another bomb they taught you to build at the farm, meaning that you could disarm it.

           “Wo, wo, wo. Hold on a second there,” the Jane presence shows herself again. “You are not going to play his game are you?”

           “Does it look like I have a choice?”

           “Yeah, you do. Turn around and walk away. It’s not your problem their security sucks.”

           You stare at her in disbelieve. And then turn back to the building and prepare to walk in, ignoring Jane’s outburst about how you are going to get yourself, and in turn her, killed. And she just might be right.

           Shit.

           You barge through the front door, once again not excusing yourself from bumping into everyone. Whatever you do, you can’t let Julia, Argent, or Steel see you. Thankfully, or not depending on your point of view, the building is crowded today. Probably has something to do with that press conference. You head straight for the visitors area, not a second to waste.

             Now at the visitors’ area what’s left is to figure out where the bomb is. You can’t blindly search for it; it would be a waste of time to do so, especially with the building so crowded. Think, think, think. Where would Zeta put it, where would you put it?

           You replay the conversation in your head, trying to find a clue. A hint. A slip, anything. You check your clock, eight minutes have passed since the call. You may only have twenty two minutes, maybe less if you account for the lost time in the conversation. It has to be something small so that Zeta could have snuck it in. But even small there is the risk of someone finding it, so he would need to put it in a place where no one but you would find it.

           Shit. You have nothing. Every area you have visited has spots where it could be found. Maybe up. No, you look up but the ceiling is one piece. No way to tear one part off and plant a bomb. The builders here took precautions. Then Jane screams to you.

           “Idiot, can’t you feel that!?” indeed you do. A certain mind that you would recognize anywhere: Argent.

           You immediately hide behind a crowd. You hope her vision does not notice you, or if it does, it confuses you with the others. You are not certain it will work but you have to try. If she finds you, even if she ignores you, she would probably tell Julia and she thinks you are already out. You see Argent pass through the crowd, ignoring several of them, and thankfully steps into an elevator. You breathe a sigh of relief. But not for long, bomb, still counting. You check your clock: you have lost four more minutes. eighteen minutes or less. Shit.

           You force yourself through the crowd, heart pumping, sweat sliding down your forehead. Where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, WHERE, WHERE, WHERE, WHERE, WHERE, WHERE, WHERE, WHERE, WHERE… you can’t think, you can’t, not with all these thoughts overwhelming you, all of these people. You had forgotten how much you hated crowds for this exact reason. Their worthless worries creeping into your head like worms, overtaking you, blind to the danger that they are in. They scream and yell, moan and whine about how unfair everything is when they have a FUCKING BOMB THAT WILL KILL THEM ALL. SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!

           “You shut up you idiot,” Jane’s voice echoes in your head. You feel her hand on your shoulder and turn to see her. “If you use your powers here you will be found. Keep it quiet. Breath.” You obey her. “Breath. Now calm down and think. I’ll block them out.” You don’t bother questioning her. So far she has only been able to manifest, but not use your powers. How will she block them? You don’t understand but it works, their thoughts vanish from your mind. Even your more negatives thoughts disappear, as if hidden away, only reason, pure cold logic and reason. You realize the answer was in front of you all along.

           The kitchen, the place you have visited the most, where you always end up in, where you have spent all your talks with Julia, and even Herald. However it has many spots where it could be found, Zeta had to hide it in one place no one would check. Under the sink? No, if something broke, they would call someone to fix it and they would check it. Under the table even less, anyone can check that. Inside the fridge? Argent would have found it by now, and something tells you Zeta would have noticed too. Behind the fridge? Like the sink if the fridge broke, they would move it and find it. But it does have more possibility.

           You arrive at the kitchen with eight minutes to spare. Thankfully no one was here. Before checking behind the fridge you check on your eliminated possibilities just to be certain. As you expected neither under the table nor the kitchen sink. You check behind and you hear it, a slow beeping. Low enough to be covered by the fridge’s motor but clear enough if you are looking for it.

           You check outside, making sure no one is coming. You check for cameras. There are cameras but you notice they are off. All but one. Shit. Zeta is watching you. You make sure to flip him off just to release some of the fury you are feeling right now. You begin moving the damn thing as much as possible. Damn, it’s heavy. Even as empty of snacks as it is right now, it’s probably the heaviest thing you have had to move out of your suit in a while. Oh how you miss your suit right now. You could have moved out this thing like a toy. But alas, you can’t. So you hold onto it, bite the scream of your muscles away and pull the fridge away from the wall. Not by much, but enough that you can squeeze through and with an outstretched arm you grab it.

           You can’t describe what you are feeling right now, your heart begins beating again, air flows through your lungs again. Finally you can disarm this thing and get it over wi-

           “Oh shit,” both you and the Jane presence say at the same time as you stare at the bomb. Same type of bomb you were taught to make. You could disarm it with your eyes folded. Or in your sleep. That’s not the problem. The problem with this one versus the one he set in your hide out is simple: the substance. The nitro. The formula is highly explosive. After a certain amount of sudden movements it can explode: with or without detonator. So not only do you have to disarm this thing, you have to carry out the bottle with the substance, making sure not to make too many sudden movements, in a place filled to the brim with people, and then find a way to get rid of it. You take a deep breath. You need it.

           As you expected your work is done almost as fast as you begin, little more than thirty seconds to disarm the detonator. Now all you have to do get this highly explosive agent out of the building. Easy…

           You put the detonator on one of your pockets. You grab the agent and put your hand inside one of your pockets. You take another breath. At least you no longer have a ticking clock.

           You step slowly out of the kitchen, making sure there is no Ranger in the distance. You turn on your ‘don’t look at me’ aura and another ‘get out of my way aura’ to ensure your survival and theirs. Not that is easy. The place is still filled to the brim and people are not fast enough to get out of your way. So you are forced to take each and every step with careful consideration, keeping an eye out for any stray thoughts that may come from any of the rangers. Well except Julia. You can’t feel her…

Shit! You forgot about that!

           You breathe again, calming down. You’ll come up with something to say if you find her, you are capable of that much at least.

           You continue your way, going through the crowd and into the elevator, which fills just as much. You glue yourself to the corner, making sure no one can bump into you. You step out of the Elevator without missing a beat. That’s it, you are close to the lobby. Just several meters more and then…

           You bump into someone. Your heart stops, your breath gets stuck in your throat, and your body freezes…            “Watch where you are going!” the man yells at you before moving on. You don’t quite process his words. Your mind still realizing you are alive and unharmed. For now.

           “OK, we are fine and dandy. Now move it!” Jane says. You don’t have to be told twice. You head for the entrance and finally walk out and down the steps. Yes! You did it! You are out. Now to get rid of it. You can go to one of the docks and throw it away. Or maybe keep it and use it in the future. It’s not every day you get this kind of explosive. Either way, you are out and now all that’s left is to…

           You feel the shockwave before hearing the boom. A thundering boom that breaks through your ears. An explosion, far from here. The shockwave takes you down into the pavement. The nitro falls out of your hands. You watch as it bounces once. You don’t wait to see it bounce away you stand up and run back to Rangers HQ, far away, before…

           You don’t hear this explosion. Instead you feel it. You turn just in time for the shockwave to hit you in the stomach, sending you through the entrance and into the lobby. You cover your face by instinct, as glass digs into your back and arms. You roll on the ground and hit something. You don’t know what but it stops you from rolling. Somehow you don’t lose consciousness. Not that it matters.

Your body screams in agony, your vision blurs, and the last thing you want is to get up. But you do. Using your training you push through the pain, ignoring it, switching it off for now. You don’t need it. Right now what you need is to get your head back in the game. Your vision clears and you see the mess. Debris and glass everywhere. People bloodied, some of them on the ground, whether dead or unconscious, you can’t tell.

“Medics, get here and help these people,” you hear the familiar voice of Steel. You turn to see him helping some people while ordering security. Well no need to hide this time at least. You stumble down but you feel a hand grab you before you fall, a silver hand. Argent.

You turn to see her staring down on you and helping you to sit. “Hey there. How’s your day?” you joke because that’s the only thing that will keep you sane right now.

“I don’t know. You tell me. You look worse than Ortega on a bad day.”

“Ah, finally decided to talk to me? Nice. All it took was an explosion.”

“Keep talking and I’ll drop you on your head.”

“Duly noted.”

“Stay here. I’m sure Julia is on the way.” She doesn’t stop to see your nod, heading towards Steel who relays some orders to her.

“Jeremy!” And there’s Julia. “What are you doing here?”

“Had to go to the bathroom so I came back and… well you take a look.” It was as good an excuse as you could muster at the moment.

“What happened?” she asks, taking a more professional tone, but still clearly worried.

“I heard one explosion. Far off. I don’t know where. Next thing I know I was flying through the door.”

“There were two?” she asks. You nod. She turns and calls for Steel. He looks at you with that same unreadable face that he always has.

“What is it?” he asks.

“There were two explosions. One was far off.” She tells him. Steel remains thoughtful for a second before turning to you.

“Do you remember the direction of the explosion?” you shake your head. You barely even had time to process there was one. “Try to think. From which side did you heard it?” you do as he says because, as hurt as you are, you are just as curious to know where that other explosion came from. And you get the sense Steel is on to something. You think back to your position, you were looking towards the street, back to the entrance. You heard the boom from your left ear. But you just told Julia you were heading in, so you can’t tell Steel you were heading out.

“I was heading into the building again,” you begin, he listens without an expression. “Right side. I heard the first explosion on my right.” Both Steel’s and Julia’s eyes widen and they look at each other. “What?” you ask, although you might have figured out the answer. Julia turns to you.

“That direction?” she points sheepishly. You nod. “That’s the direction of the-.”

“The press conference,” you cut her off.

Shit…

Episode 14 Revenge: The Voice

[msbeccieboo]

Arrow 7x14 brain dump

I loved this episode!!  I think I hadn’t really hyped it up too much in my mind so that undoubtedly helped, and sure, there was a lot of superfluous shit, but I feel like I just have to come to terms with that now, and overall it delivered on some areas I’d hoped it to, and also in lots that I hadn’t expected it to!  As always, succinctness is not my speciality, and I think this one is at an all-time record length (*titters*), so get comfortable…

Olicity

SHE TOLD HIMMMMM!!!!  I think that was just my minimum requirement for the episode, which is probably why I ended up loving it; we got lots more than that!!  Olicity didn’t get as much air time as I would have liked for the episode immediately following the Olicity Baby Reveal, but I think the episode delivered quality, where quantity was definitely lacking.

I loved the parallel of Felicity’s nightmare with Oliver’s from 7x01 respectively.  In the first half of the episode we could see that she still was doubting herself and her ability to keep the baby safe, which although wasn’t stated explicitly, was clear to me at least, and I am so glad we saw that and not just immediate baby-bliss.  This lead into poor Oliver trying and failing to get in touch with William 😭 by filling up his answering machine (to which we later find FF William discovering an answer machine-style cassette…subtle as ever there arrow writers).

The next time we saw Olicity was in an OTA scene (at long last), which I will delve into later, but special mention to Oliver’s little Felicity Smile™ when she cracks her OTA joke 😍.

Source:olicitygifs

Continued under the cut

The most wonderful Olicity scene for me wasn’t the big reveal, but the sofa scene.  I loved this so so much.  For the first time, Oliver really acknowledged Felicity’s pain from when he was in prison, and acknowledged that he hadn’t acknowledged it haha.  This in and of itself made me tear up…Oliver the GROWTH 😭😭  

Source:oliverxfelicity

But then he continued!!  He told Felicity that he thought there was a better way than killing Diaz, but that he had no right to make that call for her.  He would back any move of hers and have her back “no.matter.what” *ugly crying*. 

Source:feilcityqueen

Furthermore, he wants her to make her choice so she can get closure on Diaz, allowing Olicity to move forward!!!

This recognition and support are what Felicity has needed from Oliver for months!!  He has likely only just been able to come to these realisations himself recently, after dealing with his own crap, and losing William etc, but he came to them on his own, before knowing about the baby and knowing he would have to ‘do better’.  He knows there has been a distance between him and Felicity and he will do his part to allow her to help herself so they can come back together, and it is glorious!!!

Source:oliverxfelicity

This scene could have only been improved by some hand holding or other canoodling, but I am more than happy with the scene as we got it!!

Then at last we come to the big reveal.  I must say I think they could have and should have given more time and attention to this scene; I can only hope that they didn’t because of all the fluffy parent-to-be-ness that we are about to see unfold over the coming episodes???  Let a girl dream for now at least!  Stephen and Emily, as usual, killed it with what they had to work with.  From Oliver’s gentle acknowledgement of Felicity’s go-to comfort food, mint chip, to Felicity’s explanation of why she didn’t need to kill Diaz; she needed her family to live in the light and their children to know that they would do anything for them….wait, what??? *cue Oliver’s gorgeous confused puppy face* Your children, because…

Source:oliverxfelicity

Felicity’s beautiful smile when she told him, and Oliver’s sappy happy face when he realised….YAAAAAASSSS!!!!  My heart exploded!!  Then, *end scene* 😡.  But you know what, at this moment in time I’m still so floaty-happy for them that I can live with this!

Flash Forwards

Oh my wow I love the Clayton-Smoak-Queen siblings!!!  You can clearly see Oliver and Felicity in both of them; but Will is still obviously a mini-Felicity, whereas Mia is SO MUCH OLIVER, which is so bittersweet, given that she seems to have been raised by Felicity alone (WHYYYY?!?! *sobs*). 

Source:oliverxfelicity

Mia, it seems, has a somewhat typical love/hate relationship with her Mother, which I’m sure lots of us can identify with.  On one hand she clearly resents Felicity’s paranoia, her insistence on ‘bonding’ with things such as the Rubik’s cube and tech, which she doesn’t seem to have an interest in, but then her love for her shines through with her insistence of going after her alone (hello mini Oliver) and the line “my Mom is the only person I care about” 😭😭😭  

Source:ebett

Then our gorgeous grown up Will 😍 is all Felicity in his belief in Oliver as a hero and his techy geekdom, but HELLO OLIVER in the way he instantly loves and sticks up for his sister (even with them arguing, he just softened, and even turned on Dinah when she questioned Mia) and talks about family, despite how he has come to feel abandoned by Olicity.  That last line in his scene with Mia where he says “Well did it work?” could have been spoken by Stephen himself; his expression, his intonation…perfect Oliver impression Ben, well done, A+!  They work so well together on screen; I loved their back-and-forth in their scenes.  I can’t wait to see them interacting more, especially, I hope, in the all FF episode.  I think they will be a force to be reckoned with!

The bro-sis Rubik’s cube solving champions discover the mini answering phone cassette, which Mia can’t even comprehend; “can you hack it?” lol (makes me feel suuuper old).  This has surely got to at least contain some of Olicity’s attempts to contact William, to let him know he wasn’t abandoned, and at most, another of Felicity’s clues.  I just can’t wrap my head around the blatant plot-hole that is Olicity not ever managing to get in touch with William, even with the crazy tech skills on both ends of the dynamic??  I call bullshit!  I need to know what’s going on guysssss!!!  

Elsewhere, Connor supposedly didn’t know about Mia’s heritage (so no baby OTA growing up together *sad face*), except he secretly did cos his adopted father Dig asked him to watch over her!  So Connor isn’t JJ??  Where is JJ?? ISTG Larry if you erased another baby Diggle I will travel through time and kill you myself!!  Connor and Mia are clearly super close (shipping them already), and the hurt on Mia’s face when she found out Connor had lied to her the whole time broke my heart!!  I also need a scene with Roy and Mia soon; did anyone else notice how as soon as Mia revealed her parentage, he dropped his bow from pointing on her…YAAAAASS UNCLE ROY!!!  But why does no one but Dig know about Mia’s existence????  Did Olicity go into hiding??  Is this why they never managed to contact William again? Whaaaat???  Je suis confuse!!!

Bonus: Future OTA, or FTA, if you will, is totally going to be a thing I’m sure of it!  The actors seem so much fun and are always interacting on social media/live tweeting etc.  It is so nice to have cast so actively participating in promotion this year.  It’s at a point now where I would definitely give a next generation series a watch, and I can’t wait for the all flash forward episode now, even though the whole future set-up seems harrowingly disparate from what we would like to imagine.  I need to know more damnit!!

OTA/Delicity

OTA has finally (just about) reunited!!!!  It’s only been 6437280462308 years guys!!  Dig finally realises he’s been keeping the Diaz secret from Olicity for too long, so he offers them up the truth, in a “SPONTANEOUS OTA MOMENT”.  Honestly, Felicity’s sass in this scene and all the Dig scenes to be fair is just a beautiful thing to see.  Felicity rightfully tells John that this is the second time he has prioritised his ARGUS work over his friends’ safety and he looks rightfully ashamed of himself. Oliver naturally doesn’t agree with using Diaz, but has suddenly become official OTA reconciliator, and trusts Dig to get shit done, eventually offering his help with Felicity’s blessing and assistance.  

With OTA officially back in the field and like 57 things going on, Felicity takes her chance on taking out Diaz, confronting him with a gun again, and finally telling him that she is in fact stronger than him, and hence doesn’t need to kill him…Dig is ultimately left to decide between helping Oliver capture Dante, or Felicity stop Diaz and praise the salmon ladder he chooses to help Felicity!!

Source:felicitysmoakgifs

I loved Felicity realising her own strength, and maintaining her ‘light’, seeing and knowing that her teammate finally had her back!!  Dig tells her that although Dante was the mission objective, Diaz (and by that he meant Felicity) was his priority!!  My Delicity heart!!!!!  Dig has one last ace up his sleeve, later telling Olicity that he realised how letting Diaz go last time had hurt Felciity, and that the most important thing should be to just protect his OTA family!!!  And just like that, OTA RISES FROM THE ASHES!!!

Bonus:  OMG I just realised that the Brothers and Sisters theme of the episode relates to OTA as well!! 😭😍😭😍😭😍

Felicity/BS

When did I become a BS stan??  Who even am I?  What do I believe in? 😱 🤷‍♀️🤯

I love Felicity’s relationship with BS.  I want to be friends with both of them.  I want to drink wine with BS whilst Felicity grumbles about drinking de-caff coffee. I think I need more sleep. Forgive me fandom friends for I have sinned 🙈😂😂

I see people saying that their friendship doesn’t make sense, and no, if you look directly from S6 to now, it doesn’t.  But if you watch S7 episode-by-episode you can totally believe that they got to the place they are in now.  They’ve grown from reluctant allies, to gaining a mutual respect, to growing to like one another.  And the shade is still totally there on both parts from Felicity’s “fake lawyer” (CLASSIC LINE), to BS calling Felicity out on her chocolate consumption haha.

So BS knew about the baby before Oliver did.  I am not majorly angry with this because…she just guessed!!  Felicity didn’t tell her.  Felicity was mortified that she’d put it all together and begged her to not tell anyone. Our girl was just coming to terms with it herself, and working out how to tell Oliver, which she is perfectly entitled to do.  

The scene where BS brings Felicity food and gives her a pep talk was totes adorbs 😍 Do I wish it was the type of conversation Felicity had had with Oliver instead?  Sure, and I’m sure we will in the future, and we got different Olicity goodies in this episode in its place.  

Source: felicitysmoakgifs

BS is all over Felicity being preggers…I’m wondering if maybe she lost a baby or lost someone with a baby on E2??  She just seems to be all about looking after Felicity, and the baby, to almost an excessive point, with random pregnancy knowledge thrown in there too 🤔

Side-note: I am all about Felicity eating ALL OF THE FOOD in this episode hahaha!  “I ate that much choc before I was pregnant” LOOOOOL!!  She continues to be the cutest.

Source:felicitysmoakgifs

Emiko/Oliver

Oh Oliver.  I feel for him so much with Emiko.  He just wants to get to know her, and make up for lost time and poor choices by Robert.  He misses Thea.  He is blinded by his love for his new sister.  This is why whenever they try to tell us ‘Oliver doesn’t trust people’ I’m like HUH?!  I see Oliver as probably the most naturally trusting person on the show, only his experiences have proven him wrong so often.  He has to believe in others, so he can believe in himself after everything he has been through/done.  He gives almost everyone the benefit of the doubt, especially family, even when it’s blatantly obvious that they don’t deserve it.  Oliver has such a big heart, and loves his family so deeply and at times, blindly. And here, with Emiko, that is what he is doing (when he should have been at home celebrating baby-making with some more practice baby-making 😉).  I don’t like Emiko…oh she’s working with the Big Bad, shocker!  I thought that she would turn out dead or a villain, given as she isn’t part of the ‘mark of 4’ gang in the future.  I’m not convinced she’s full-on evil though, not yet at least.  But the concept of her being a baddie kind of makes sense as to why they’ve made her so unlikeable.  That said, I really enjoyed the ‘sibling rivalry’ scenes they shared. Oliver in her personal space “do you have to stand right there?”, Oliver critiquing her arrows, “don’t touch my things!” 😂😂 I do think they spent too much time on them in this episode (even though it was called Brothers and Sisters, I know).  I just can’t be bothered to get too involved with her storyline, for the minute at least, as I think it will be temporary.  

ARGUS/Diaz

This is my let-down of the episode, (and every episode) but you can’t win them all!  Suicide squad blah, Diaz blah, Virgil (isn’t he a Thunderbird??) blah, Dante (Highlander!)….kinda blah!  The shame is, I think Dante could’ve been a far better villain if they’d made me know/care about him earlier in the season?  Maybe they can rescue him?  I mean, Prometheus didn’t really come into his own until the last few episodes, so I guess there’s hope???

But Diggle quit-yaaaay!! Bye bye ugly security guard outfit!!

LIZARD BOY GOT LIT UPPPPP!!! 

Burn bay burn!!  Bye bitch!!  I’m pretty sure this is the episode that the actor tweeted his goodbyes after?  What a sorry exit if so *evil laugh*.  There’s a fair bit of speculation over who killed him, but unless it was Felicity sneaking in in the dead of night to do so, I struggle to care 🤷‍♀️

Massive thank you to the gif makers; you have made this long-ass post more colourful 😘

[ezilyamuzed]

There’s no place like home - Part 8

Summary: The reader has had a unique gift all her life. While considering it a curse, she discovers the identity of her real father after her mothers passing. Journeying towards her new life, she finds herself thrown within the Winchester’s world. Is it her destiny?

Setting: End of season 13. This takes place after episode 13.18.

Warnings: Language. Some angst, fluff, drama- a typically SPN episode.  POV may switch after certain sections. 

A/N: I’ll apologize now, what you are about to read is a bit of an emotional roller-coaster, at least it was for me. This was not all in my original plan, but I am happy it had happened. I’ve been rewatching the series and during this time I was on Season 5 where Jo and Ellen die, tears still coming although it was probably the 10th time I had watched it. Amazing how much character’s relationships can still make your heart break years after. I promise more interesting things are on the way. We aren’t even close to done.

Any grammatical mistakes are all my own, because I am human. Remember all comments and feedback are welcomed! If you want a tag in future posts regarding this series or other writings please send an ask! As always thank you for reading! Enjoy!

Sam and Dean had shifted glances to each other, their Adam’s apples bobbing as they swallowed hard, waiting to see who was going to answer your question of why they had brought up the men of letters. You stood there patiently waiting, leaning up against the end table with your arms crossed while watching the apprehension move between them.

“Well, guys? Why does some boy band called the Men of Letters matter?”

“You said a man and woman came to see you?” Dean questioned while raising his eyebrow.

“Yeah, some British guy. Ketchup or something,” you chuckled while trying to remember what it really was. 

Dean squeezed his eyes tight while shaking his head. “You mean Ketch?”

“Yeah that was it, and the girl was Campbell, like the soup. I guess I had food on the brain that day,” you laughed.

“Campbell?” Sam coaxed.

“Yeah, um Mary,” you said looking into his inquiring face. Flashes of your memory went through your head as you tried to recall the details. “She seemed a little uneasy being there… actually, her light was different like yours too.”

Sam and Dean stared back at each other again like they just witnessed a nuclear bomb go off in front of them and were frozen in place. Dean tilted his head slightly to Sam, encouraging him to speak first with his eyes. Sam gave an audible sigh and ran his hand through his hair before speaking.

“Mary Campbell is Mary Winchester, our mom.”

“And the dick with her is a part of the Men of Letters from over the Atlantic,” Dean included.

“We think that your grandfather was involved somehow, here in America,” Sam said while moving to grab the mahogany frame. “This is the outside of their bunker, their safe house if you will.”

You held up your hands to stop them. “Whoa. Back up there. Your mom? But she is…”

“Yeah not so much for a while now,” Dean interjected while sitting himself down on the end of the couch. “That’s a long story.”

“Are there any Winchester’s that stay dead?” you blurted while sitting yourself across from him in a steady recliner, feeling the tension radiating off of them by your words. You didn’t mean to say it, it just…came out. A lingering silence fulfilled the room before you spoke again. “So why do you think that is a picture of their safe house anyways. I mean it could be anywhere. It doesn’t exactly have ‘men of letters hideout shack’ written all over it.”

“Because we’ve seen it. We’ve been there. Hell, it’s our home,” Sam stated while moving to sit next to his brother. “The quote ‘There’s no place like home’ written on there, it’s a reference to the Wizard of Oz.”

“Yeah, so what? Next, you are going to tell me Dorothy is the leader,” you scoffed while shaking your head.

“Well she was definitely a part of it,” Dean replied while sitting himself back further into the cushions.

“Wait. Click your heels three times Dorothy? We’re not in Kansas anymore Dorothy?”

“Her father, L. Frank Baum wrote the stories, he was a member during his lifetime. She was trapped when she had followed him into Oz, so he left clues in his writings for her.,” Sam informed you calmly. “A couple of years ago we released her from her spell with the Wicked Witch, and as far as I know she is still in Oz. Our friend Charlie would have been able to explain this all so much better.”

Charlie rang in your ears, completely erasing the absurdity you had just heard about the Land of Oz existing and one of your favorite childhood stories. The image of her smiling face lighting up the room forced itself into the forefront of your mind. 

“Charlie Bradbury,” you mumbled while moving your face towards the ground. Dean and Sam’s eyes shot at you in confusion to how you could have possibly known. Feeling their eyes on you, you raised your head to meet their stares while giving an audible exhale. You got up to grab the old photo album that you had frantically searched and found earlier. Flipping through the pages you found the one that you were looking for. Hesitating in your steps you watched their curiosity grow for their unspoken question. Walking over to them, you held it open to Sam’s reach.

“Like I had said before, I’ve heard about you two from others.”

Sam’s eyes widened in shock as he looked at the old Polaroids. There was Charlie, with her signature full body smile and you equally as happy. Both dirty like you had just been in a fight, but cheerful nonetheless with pride of accomplishment shining through.  Feeling his brother trying to see what you had given him, he leaned the book over. Dean gulped hard while focusing on the pictures, his eyes shifting furiously over the photos. 

“There was a ghost not too far from where I lived,” you quietly uttered. “She came in looking for information from my mom and found me instead. We took it out together. Honestly, given the circumstances, it was one of the best hunts of my life.”

“Y/N, Charlie…” Sam started to speak with sorrow in voice.

“You don’t have to tell me, Sam. I know what happens on the job,” you interrupted while giving him a tight-lipped nod. Watching Dean still steading his eyes over the pages. “There is more too that you should probably know. Turn back a couple pages.” 

You could feel the emotions from earlier rising again within you as you watched him turn back the pages, stopping when he saw the familiar faces. His mouth dropping in disbelief. 

“Ash,” he whispered while leaning the filled pages to Sam. “Jo. Ellen… How is this possible?”

“Ash is a long story,” you chuckled lowly while remembering your oldest friend. “Basically we were friends in high school and stayed in contact well after. He would help me out with cases and things like that. He was actually one of the few people who knew about me and what I saw. I met Jo and Ellen when I was looking for him, finding her took up permeant residency at the Roadhouse.”

You could feel the emotions trying to push through your eyes as you spoke but you shook them off, putting on your best fake smile you could muster. Sam sat completely still lost in his thoughts, looking out to nothing in front of him. Holding onto the album tight, Dean looked up to you, his glossy eyes meeting yours.

“Y/N…I’m sorry.”

You shook your head before speaking up again. “I know, I mean… I already know what had happened to Ash from Ellen afterward. I kind of figured whatever was going on wouldn’t take long to catch up to the rest.”

“They died fighting,” Sam uttered, breaking out of his thoughts.

You shifted in your seat, feeling anger you had suppressed running through your veins as he said it, screaming at you to avenge your fallen friends by taking down the causes that sat comfort on your couch in front of you.  Your gut and your heart advising you to allow yourself to just sit in the silence, remembering the lives of the fallen with them. You chose the latter, while Dean now was sifting through the album, looking to see if there was more. The old-aged open letter fell out into his lap. You went to say something but the words written on it had already caught his attention. His eyes scanning it over and over while his brows furrowed, before looking up to you in disbelief. 

“I guess I was supposed to meet you a long time ago,” you quietly answered his unspoken question while exhaling back into your chair. “I couldn’t open it. I couldn’t bring myself to… not until today.”

Your anger quickly boiling over that you had worked so hard to hold back. It wasn’t just at them though, it was at yourself. If you had only been brave enough to read a god damned letter, so many things could have changed. Jo and Ellen might still be alive. Charlie would be here. Your dad? You might have actually gotten to know your real father, not just going off of others words, but actually known him. If you would have just opened the god damn letter your whole world could have changed.

Dean had handed the letter over to a curious Sam while you felt your heart beating fast and your muscles tighten as the rage grew inside of you. “Y/N, if we would have known…”

“Known what Dean?” you snapped. “That the people you drag into all of your shit have their own friends and family that you throw into danger?”

The words fell out like vomit, you had no control over them as they spilled out. His face dropped and eyes widened like you had just twisted a knife into his gut.

 “You know what Dean? Save all of your apologies. I don’t want to hear them.”

“You listen here princess,” he yelled while standing straight up in his spot, face turning dark red in the heat of his rage. “That is a part of the damn job. They knew what they were getting into. Every single one of them. We tried to save but they made their choices. Don’t you dare put all of this on me.”

You could feel your breathing turn rapid as you clenched your fist to punch time right in his perfect jaw as he spoke. Looking into darkened his eyes you could see the anger, sadness, and self-hatred all mixed hiding away behind them. A sea of tears trying to escape. You saw the truth in them, not only had you blamed him, but he was still blaming himself. Your words had cut open a wound that time had not healed. You closed your eyes and took in a deep breath, trying to relax your muscles as it set in. 

“There is no point in this. In us yelling at each other,” you sighed, knowing that no matter what you did, the past could not be changed. Moving forward was the only option. “There have been tough choices that we all have made, that I know we all regret.” 

Sam and Dean both nodded their heads in agreement as you took in a deep breath and raised yourself to obtain another beer from the kitchen. Sam followed your lead, leaning on the counter while you popped the top off. He went to open his mouth to speak but you stopped him in his tracks.

“Not talking about it anymore Sam,” you said before taking a large gulp, downing almost half of the contents. You let out a low burp that made him quietly snicker, breaking the tension. “So what is up with the boy band you’re in? The lettermen.”

“The men of letters,” he corrected you as Dean walked in red-eyed, with an obvious tear stain on his cheek. He rubbed his face with both hands while Sam continued. “Basically there were like elite hunters. They complied almost every lore and spell book you could imagine.”

“Were?” you queried before taking another sip.

“Yeah, a bitch knight of hell, Abaddon, pretty much wiped out the membership in 1958,” Dean responded while grabbing for his own beer. “All that is really left is a few legacies, like Sam, me and well I guess now you too.”

“Our grandfather Henry Winchester was a member,” Sam added.

“Yeah, he was an alright guy. Kind of self-righteous,” Dean quipped. 

You pushed your head back in confusion, squinting your eyes to Dean. “He was? You just said she wiped them out.”

“Time travel spell,” Sam responded in seriousness. “He traveled to his next of kin in the future, escaping while luring her here.”

“Through the closet,” Dean chuckled while taking a sip of his beer.

“Anyways,” Sam continued. “He sacrificed himself to stop her, and that was just the beginning of a whole other mess.”

You stood there staring blankly at you beer bottle, frozen in your thoughts. Time traveling grandparents and demons. Resurrected parents. Secret hunters club. Fucking Wizard of Oz’s Dorothy, all things that were real and happened to them. You shook yourself out of your thoughts and finished your beer in a long gulp. 

“Well,” you clicked with your tongue as you pulled the empty bottle away from your lips. “I think you two would definitely be institutionalized if you ever admitted these things to other people.”

“Yeah, being honest usually gets us committed for a few days,” Sam laughed. You gave him a perplexed glare but shook it off instead of asking further questions. The clock behind him displaying the time that could not have possibly been right, making you jump to find your phone.

“Fuck what time is it?” you groaned while moving items out of your way in the search for it.

“It’s a little bit before 5,” Sam informed while looking at his watch.

“God damn time change,” you grunted. “Look, listen guys as much as I would love to sit here and have girl talk, I have less than two hours to get ready for a stupid faculty ball at the University. I also have no idea where half of the things I need are.”

“We can help you find them,” Sam offered, glancing over at his brother that looked lost in his thoughts.

“You really don’t…” you started to reply.

“We would be more than happy to,” Dean added, stopping you from speaking.

“Fine,” you breathed as you rolled your eyes and glanced at the boxes still full of miscellaneous contents behind him. “I need my curling iron, makeup, jewelry and black Manolo Blahnik’s.”

“What is a Manolo Blahnik?” Sam questioned in confusion.

“They’re high heeled shoes,” Dean informed while moving towards the living room. He turned himself back around once reaching an unopened box, meeting Sam and yours surprised stares. “What?”

“Nothing,” you scoffed as you walked past him to another box.

“So what exactly is this thing you are going to?” Sam asked while moving to his own spot amongst the stacks. 

“Basically a meet and greet amongst faculty members,” you answered while pulling away at the tape, revealing yet another box of books in front of you.

“Want some company,” Sam suggested. You gave him a puzzled look, questioning is motivations. “I mean being the new kid and not knowing anyone, might help to have friendly faces.”

You let out a short laugh, imagining yourself walking in with two handsome men head to toe in plaid and denim. “Unless you guys have a tux handy, I don’t think so.”

“I do,” Dean nonchalantly said while rummaging through his boxes contents of beauty products. 

“You do?” Sam and you questioned together in amazement.

“God how many bath beads and bombs do you have?”

________________________________________________________

“A lot. Now answer the question Dean,” Y/N commanded while folding her arms in front of her waiting for him to reply.

“What? So I have a tux in the car. You never know when you might need it for a case,” he answered while pulling out her curling iron from the bottom of the box. “One down.”

“And how often do you need a tux for a case?” she giggled while lifting and fumbling with another box to stifle through.

“You would be surprised,” he laughed, grabbing the box in Y/N’s hands to help her balance it. His eyes met hers in the motion as she mouthed a “thank you” that made his heart skip a beat. Just one look and he felt like a teenager again, sweaty and anxious about the future. What would ever become of this? Did she even feel something for him? Was he just wasting his time here?

That night, that amazing night that he found himself lying next to her, watching her chest rise and fall as she dreamed was one of the best moments he had in a long time. During the drive to her he played around with the thought of if things weren’t so complicated, for lack of a better word, he could see himself doing it every night. Just being with her. Hell, maybe the civilian life in a little house that he could escape the world with her in. 

While he pulled up to her house, he couldn’t help but smile at how it looked exactly as he imagined. The perfect spot for the perfect apple pie life. His smile fading as he remembered nothing about his life would ever be perfect. Not in this lifetime at least. The question of what the hell he was even trying to do or going to do shook up his nerves. He was actually grateful that Sam had been there or else he would have probably tucked in his tail and ran back home before even seeing her face again. 

She hadn’t been as spirited from the other night, maybe she had regretted everything that had happened. That thought made Dean sick to his stomach as he helped unpack the endless stacks of books. How drunk had she been? Did he take advantage of her? Oh God, did she want to gut him right where he stood? The worst possible thought flooded his mind until Sam snapped him out of it. The picture he held in his hands was so familiar like he had already seen it. When Sam spoke up he knew what he was looking at. Home. No place like it. 

His brother was looking to him for answers the same way he had all his life, only this time he didn’t have them. He knew what had to happen next, he had to find out what she knew. The world he wanted to keep away from her was breaking through. Her eyes searched for the details within her memories that only made the sickness in his stomach grow. His world had already met hers, and not only that his mother had brought it to her. As Sam and he spoke, he watched her carefully as she followed their words. Her eyes were searching for reason when she as questioned how it was her that she had brought it to her. A long story he did not want to talk about because the ending still frightened him. His mother could still be alive with Jack by her side in a world he may never be able to reach again. 

As a familiar name hit his ears his heart sank. Charlie. Although he had just seen her face in another world, it was not the real Charlie he had cared for, the one he was unable to protect. He could feel his heart beating faster as Y/N grabbed a book and shown his brother her past, one that included the bright smile on his friends face that he knew all too well as it still flashed in his memories. He felt his emotions burning inside of him, begging to come out when she told him to turn the pages. There they were, more of the family he had let down all those years ago. Ash, Ellen, and sweet Jo, the girl who sacrificed herself for him. His heart was now tearing into pieces.

A worn letter fell into his hands as he sat remembering, feeling the guilt that he tried to push back. Ash had sent her to them. If he had only known he would have found her one way or another if anything to honor his fallen friends' wishes for them to protect her. As he spoke he could see the anger inside of her push itself out as her words hit like acid. Out of instinct, he fought against them as his anger toward himself grew. He watched her face as his muscles tightened to attack her, she wasn’t scared. He saw it in her eyes, her anger still burning and seeing in his that he was as well. She could see it how it still haunted him, his past mistakes. The emotions in her eyes shifted as she watched him. She was still angry, but somehow she could read that he was too and she understood. Understood how the memories would keep him up at night, how given the job things happen to the ones you love, and how if he could take it all back, trading in his life for theirs he would. 

He watched her walk away with Sam following, a tear escaping down his cheek. How would she be able to forgive him when he could never forgive himself? He let out a deep sigh before following them. The subject already had changed as she asked more of her questions. Somehow she was able to push all the words that were said aside and allow herself to pretend that everything was normal. Nothing was nor ever would be normal, not with him around. 

Her smile gave him a sense of calm as they all spoke. She really was perfect. If there had been any chance at something more, surely all that had transpired erased them. Following her gaze to the clock, Dean knew he was running out of time he had with her. Sam offering for them to accompany her was his last shot before he knew she might be gone from him again. When she suggested that it was not going to happen unless they had a tux Dean jumped at his chance. This was it and he was not going to miss it.

“So what time should I be ready for our date?” Dean smiled coyly setting the box down from her grasp.

“Really, I’ll be fine,” she laughed as she tore through the tape to find her other lost items.

“Nonsense,” Dean stated. “You might need someone to carry you home after being bored to sleep all night.”

He watched as she rolled her eyes and chuckled, muttering a “fine” in defeat. He could feel his heart starting to beat faster, this was it. It was happening, and not only that he wouldn’t have Sam to lean on. No, it would just be her and him. The possibility of redemption from the past fueled him to work faster, tearing through the boxes and finding everything she needed. 

“Thanks,” she said while taking them from his hands. “There is an iron underneath the bathroom sink if you need it for your suit.”

Dean nodded as he looked over at Sam who had a smile raising in the corner of his mouth. This was the chance for Dean to find what he wanted, hell what he needed. There was no way he would let anything mess it up.

Y/N had disappeared into what Dean could only assume was her bedroom. He heard the water from a shower run as he went to Baby’s trunk for everything that he would need. While grabbing the garment bag that held the tux he glanced at all the tools that laid organized in front of him. Knives, guns, holy water, bombs and a whole lot of other tools he would usually reach for when going into the unknown. He shook his head as he pushed the trunk back shut. There was no need for any of it, at least not tonight.

After fixing himself in her bathroom mirror after changing, he walked out to have an approving nod from his brother that was short lived as Sam’s eyes moved to what was behind Dean. He turned his head and saw her standing there in a long low cut black dress with her hair falling on her shoulders in curls. Their eyes met as they both whispered that same word in unison, “Jesus”.

“Wait what?” she asked.

“Nothing,” Dean quickly replied as he pulled out Baby’s keys. “You ready to go.”

“Ah ah, Winchester, I do believe I said the next time I was driving,” she smiled while jiggling her keys in her hand.

Dean gave a low laugh while smiling as he followed her outside. He would do anything she told him to do to see her smile and tonight he would do exactly that. Butterflies now fluttering inside of him as they reached her car. She walked to the driver’s side making Dean move quickly on his feet.

“You know, as the guy I should at least drive,” he suggested while opening the door for her.

“No chance in hell Winchester,” she laughed before seating herself in.

Closing the door gently before walking himself around to the other side he felt his smile only growing wider. Nothing was going to ruin tonight. He wouldn’t let it. Everything was just going to be…perfect.

Keep reading to part nine here

Tags: @jaylarkson @waywardbaby @snffbeebee @iamabeautifulperson18 @19agbrown

[ladyofriverrun]

When I knew they were adapting yet another of Gregory’s novels, I grimaced. Blackadder has more historically accuracy than her works, and her utter event fabrication and character defamation to fit her Ricardian and Yorkist bias make her boderline-bodice-rippers a novel choice that makes me roll my eyes when I see it on the shelves.

But I accept it for what it is, and unfortunately, accept that there will always be people who like it. I was therefore inwardly cursing when Michelle Fairley was cast in the adaptation of The White Princess, because she is such a good actress and I thought no, I can’t tune in and watch this performance, because I will want to tear my hair out.

As it is, I tried the first episode, and it made me want to vomit, not only with historical inaccuracy, not only with the ridiculous lines, not only with the absurd costumes, not only with the phone-it-in-acting and the major boob-showing and apparently the first medieval use of the push up bra, but with the entire way it went about claiming it was feminist and clearly was anything but. And that’s without even getting into the utterly made up, and gross, Lizzie-fucked-her-uncle-and-liked-it mess over there. I tuned out and vowed never to tune back in again. 

Unfortunately, I am on Tumblr and I am on Instagram and that meant I was seeing clips and GIF sets and episode reviews and scene type-ups everywhere. I couldn’t avoid watching the series even when  wasn’t watching it. And it just got more and more painful as it went on. 

And God, the number of articles that popped up as well. Particularly That One. You all know the one I’m talking about. The one that said a rape scene was feminist, that a woman could have agency while she was being raped. That apparently a rape victim saying ‘get on with it, your dick is too small for me to feel it’ is the most feminist thing on tv in a long while (despite the fact that that same week the finale of Broadchurch had aired, dealing with rape, and giving us a rape victim who wasn’t virginal or young or blonde and unblemished, who had casual sex and was sleeping with her best friend’s husband BUT STILL HAD SYMPATHY AND PROTECTION AND UNDERSTANDING BECAUSE SHE AS A WOMAN WHO WAS RAPED AND SHOULDN’T HAVE TO FIT OUR IDEALS TO HAVE SYMPATHY) thus saying that every rape victim was weak and anti-feminist because they didn’t say ‘get on with it’. 

And then we have a rape victim, a real life rape victim from half a millennia ago, Margaret Beaufort, who, from her own words, clearly considered her intercourse with Edmund to be as such, made to be in support of rape in this show. She encourages the rape of another woman. Having a real rape victim pro-rape for the sake of drama is disgusting.

A feminist show does not mean ‘a show with female leads’. A show with a predominantly female cast can still be misogynist patriarchal media. A feminist show is where all female characters have agency of their own, where their plots and arcs and character development are equal to the men (not better or less than; equal). This show not only portrayed men as mere pawns (not feminist. it is not feminist to say men are weak and easy to manipulate), it showed women at each other’s throats, fighting over men, nearly every conversation they had was about a man (throw any test at this show and bet your ass it failed), it propagated every fake-feminist ideal, including, laying the blame of any man’s action at the feet of women. 

They then not only altered history, but invented it. Jasper Tudor was never murdered and certainly not by Margaret (even Gregory didn’t have that in and I thought we couldn’t get worse than her). Ditto about the prince’s. The fact Margaret was involved in a plot to help them escape (which unfortunately did fail) seems to be completely erased from this world. As is the fact that many historians consider her to be one of the first feminists. 

And now I have seen clips of Margaret in the last episode, and if not for how offended by this whole production I am, I would laugh, because the dragging her out of the room looks pathetically ridiculous. Again, never happened.

Michelle has been part of something extremely anti-feminist, something that has justified rape, has involved the defamation of rape victims, including the horrendous trope of rape victim loves rapists, she has helped them turn a philanthropic feminist into a multiple murderer, she has encouraged ignorance, and I feel like a teacher who saw so much potential in a pupil only to see them fall short by several miles. Her acting is nowhere near as good as her usual performances, and I would say she is really phoning it in, and if I hadn’t seen her in other things, I wouldn’t think her a good actress (the same can be said of this entire cast, and as I have seen most of them in other things, I know this isn’t true) and while it could be argued that she phoned it in because she didn’t like the project, the fact remains that we know she was sent the scripts and she said she loved them (according to Emma Frost and casting) and accepted the role. So she has to accept responsibility as well.

Another actress once said that all creative people have to take responsibility for what we create, that what we put out there is seen by so many, and influences so many, that we have a moral obligation to put out only what we believe in. Money can drive us yes (why else does Hugh Grant still do rom-coms in the same outline? For the money. We know it, he knows it, Emma Thompson loudly said it in the middle of Graham Norton...) but when something is so morally offensive as The White Princess is, we have to consider what is more important. I couldn’t have done this show considering all that it puts across to young women and the world as a whole, or to how it has damaged the reputations of real people. If someone asked me to do a film that was pro-fox hunting in it’s message, no amount of money could convince me to do it. I turned down a film with a significant pay to it simply because when I read the script, I saw the female characters had nothing beyond sex appeal or butt of jokes. I didn’t want to be a part of that sort of project. 

I know it might seem abstract, but everyone will know that sometimes there are roles or interviews etc that make you lose respect for someone, or at least to feel severe disappointment. This was it for me with Michelle, and after this, I’m not entirely sure I can appreciate her for the good actress she is anymore. Which is a shame and kinda sad. 

But I do honestly believe all cast and crew should be ashamed for being a part of that. 

[akiharashizuka]

Yu-Gi-Oh VRAINS episode 3 thoughts

(I feel like this screenshot isn’t the most representative one, but it can’t be helped since the title shows up there)

First Contact

I expected that Knight to not give any information, however I didn’t think he would just try to blow up both himself and Playmaker. And he had no second thoughts about it. I know it’s a virtual reality, but Ignis said that you suffer mental damage. I doubt he wasn’t aware of that. This scene made me question if he’s really human or something else.

Oh, wow. 

Ok, the Knight was terrified when Ignis “ate” him, so I guess he is human, but was mentally prepared for exploding. 

Hmm I guess the person is safe, but the account got permanently erased or something. It’s just my speculation.

Pfff xD I could have sworn this would happen. 

However, I didn’t expect Blue Angel to challenge him as well. I understand why Gō did that, since he likes standing out and Playmaker stole the spotlight, but I don’t really get why Aoi as well.

The exit was great though xD

So Revolver has the “3 things” speech pattern. The difference is that he just stated that they are going to find out Playmaker’s identity soon and started enunciating the reasons. Yūsaku says beforehand that there are 3 reasons why *insert statement here*

And his reasons make so much sense. I’m impressed he could notice so much and put things together in a short amount of time. Ok, I know Yūsaku had been challenging the Knight of Hanoi for a while, but I assume it hasn’t been that long since he started. Plus, he just got his hands on Ignis, which is the organization’s goal. So, they had no reason to pay that much attention to him (only keep their guard up).

Ugh...What’s this? Link VRAINS avatars? They can create stuff like this too? o_O

I think they are avatars, since a few weird looking reporters are shown, followed by these two. Ok...they probably look even weirder.

The frog-like one yelled at the pigeon not to use his real name, so that probably settles it. And they are clearly in Link VRAINS. So, people can be really creative with their avatars.

Some even got so far to create fake avatars that look like Playmaker O_O

The one that posed like a bodybuilder cracked me xD

Decode Talker seems to be materializing by itself. I have to agree with Kusanagi: Data Storm might be really incredible.

Too bad Ignis can’t give more info. So, along with most of his body, he also lost plenty of memories. That’s a bit sad. He was on the run for so long, but might have forgotten why.

Aww, now I feel sorry for him.

I bet he was trying to protest and tell them that he actually has a name, but couldn’t since Kusanagi turned the sound off. 

Hmm, so the subs went with “Eye”, for the spelling of his nickname. I would have chosen “I” (the letter), since Yūsaku said it comes from A.I. And the pronunciation is the same for the word “eye”, that’s why Kusanagi thought it was a good name. The wiki uses “Ai”, which works too, but it’s more of a feminine name. Doesn’t really matter though, since either one is fine and I’ll still call him Ignis anyway.

It looks like more people want to try the Data Storm and Speed Duels. Who can blame them? It’s something new that seems fun and exciting.

However, the in-game security (?) doesn’t agree and goes as far as suspending their accounts (well, that was more for ignoring the warning). Hmm, so SOL Technology doesn’t want more people to use the Data Storm, I guess.

Speaking of which, we get more of the higher-ups speaking this time. I checked the ending credits and they are indeed (code)named Rook and Knight. Hopefully the others will be added soon enough. 

As for Akira’s plan for catching Playmaker, it sounds rather simple, but I guess it’s the most effective one.

Talking business while waiting for the traffic light to turn green. Sure xD

Some info about Ema was revealed to be an information hunter and doesn’t really take sides. Which I think it’s interesting. However, here she is kinda being employed by Akira to investigate Playmaker. Hmm, I guess his plan is more complex then. It’s not only to allure him in a battle with Hanoi and capture him, but also gather information.

One thing that I noticed is that they are being rather casual. Well, not that much for Akira since he’s always serious, but he called her by her first name, without any honorifics. And Ema just tells him straight (sort of) that he is willing to use anything to have his way, including her.

Wait...Gō’s home is some deposit-like building? Decorated with a wrestling ring, training equipment and a TV O_O That looks like a unique place to live. 

His obsession for popularity is kinda getting on my nerves. Though, from the info revealed, there has to be more to it. And it’s starting to show some signs of that, since the manager (I initially thought he was the butler) pointed out that Gō is a hard-worker and doesn’t duel for money.

About Akira wanting to ask him to duel Playmaker, guess that was obvious, considering what he told Ema. Hmm, I didn’t think he will explain the situation to them (sure, without giving any vital info). But I liked how Gō turned the offer down xD

Akira definitely has data on Gō’s background. The big hint is what the manager said about him looking like he knew everything and being ready to threaten them. 

Before he left, Akira pointed out the hand-made belt. This is just a guess, but it looks like it was made by a child (or maybe more). It has to be related to why Gō worked so hard to become a popular duelist and why he wants to protect that fame. 

Another peculiar thing regarding Yūsaku is that he managed to decipher something about Ignis’ program, while Kusanagi had to idea what to do. 

And that something is no other than the memory of Revolver destroying the Cyberse. It gets even better when the system starting acting up and Revolver’s face shows up. So he can sense Ignis as well.

At first I was a bit confused, since clearly they weren’t in Link VRAINS, but the city looked digitized, then Revolver passed by on his dragon. I must say, the moment was intense.

When Kusanagi showed up, I realized that it was a vision, most likely from the virtual reality and only Yūsaku could see it. It most likely has to do with sensing Ignis and how he instinctively knew about Speed Duels.

Should I worry that Yūsaku smiled when he said that Ignis will disappear if he tears apart his program?

Well, Ignis does reveal stuff...And as I expected, he doesn’t remember why he is being chased...And not even why he escaped in the first place. I’m surprised that Ignis didn’t give up on running away. That memory must have left quite an impact on him.

That must be Dr. Kogami. His name was revealed in the cast list for this episode. Hmm, nothing really interesting here, just that they are planning something and, of course, a Revolver is willing to challenge Playmaker.

Then, that strange sound started playing and Revolver was in a hurry to leave. Now that’s curious.

So that’s Revolver’s real form. Sure, it’s shadowed (for now), but the silhouette looks different than his avatar.

You know, it kind of reminds me of the image shown last week with (supposedly) Kusanagi’s brother. However, that doesn’t make much sense. At this point at least.

It’s gotten more tragic all of a sudden...So that person is his father and Revolver only wants to make his wish come true...I have no idea what happened, but I’m already sympathizing with him. And I’m glad it’s that way. 

I love how VRAINS already gives us hints that the characters are more than what they seem.

That mark must be important. I have no idea right now what it could be, but I’ll make sure to keep it in mind.

This may sound trivial, but why are there so few students O_O The classroom is huge, but there can only be seen 15 students...Is the class so boring that most of them would rather skip? Or they just want to hang out in Link VRAINS?

Either way, I’m glad this was brought up. I’ve been trying to find the origin behind the Knights of Hanoi. I mean, Hanoi is the capital of Vietnam, but I highly doubt they took it from here. I had read a little about the city, but couldn’t find any connection (at least at that time). Another possible name origin is the puzzle game, Tower of Hanoi. Again, I couldn’t seem to find a solid connection, but since the teacher is explaining this very puzzle, this might be it.

Just to give a brief explanation, the creator of this puzzle took inspiration from a legend which takes place in an Indian temple. Then, why “Hanoi” you might ask. The only explanation I found is that the temple in the legend may be located anywhere, including Hanoi. I’m not satisfied with this, but oh well (I should probably search for other sources...). The legend says that in the temple, there is a room with 3 posts, surrounded by disks. The priests, commanded by an ancient prophecy, have to move the disks, following some rules (I'm assuming these are the rules of the game itself). The priests have been doing that for a while and, when the puzzle is completed, the world will end (it’s kinda forced, but this might connect to revolver wanting to destroy the Cyberse)

Now, for the rules. As seen in the image, the disks have different sizes. They can only be moved on top of a bigger disk. Also, only one can be moved at a time. And you can only move the uppermost disk on the stack.

Not sure if all this info will be useful in the future, but I couldn’t help myself when I saw the teacher explaining the Tower of Hanoi. And the scene moved on to something else, so yeah...

Shima just being a fanboy again. I wonder what Yūsaku thinks in this kind of situations xD

Hmm, so he left Ignis watch over his house...That doesn’t sound like a very good idea.

Ok, first off, what kind of house is that? The walls are cracked and overall it looks like it could be abandoned. Hmm, I guess the rent is cheap.

Luckily, there is that little robot who keeps it clean. I wonder where did Yūsaku get that. Did he build it? Either way, it seems it (or should I use “she”?) is called Roboppy.

And 3rd, Ignis looked so suspicious there. Then he convinces Roboppy to become his underling. I kinda have a bad feeling about this xD It’s not only about him getting free, but also if Ignis keeps his promise and modifies Roboppy, it’s gonna be troublesome. Then again, he might not do that.

On a side note,  I chuckled at “idiot is a prohibited word”.

Oh. 

This has to be a different person than the guy Yūsaku dueled. I might be spoiling it, but the summary already revealed that Gō disguises as a Knight of Hanoi and duels Playmaker. Plus, we’ve seen Gō logging in right before this. And if you compare the vices, you’ll notice that they are the same.

Of course, Yūsaku leaves immediately. I guess it’s a good thing he sits next to Shima who checks Link VRAINS regularly. 

Next episode we get more stuff about Gō, which should be interesting. He most likely contacted Akira and went on with his offer. Also, when Yūsaku gets home, he might have a surprise...not a pleasant one though. 

[amandaelisablog]

Crime Shows and Bad Decisions

To Whom It May Concern:

 Salutations to you, I am going to delve into the many criminal shows that have been and still air today. More than likely you have spent time watching these programs and wonder  to yourself how these people manage to find themselves in these situations. At this point I find myself critiquing their poor decisions.

There are many out there and this is just a short list:

·         Forensic Files

·         48 hours

·         Homicide Hunter with Joe Kenda

·         Who The Bleep Did I Marry

·         America’s Most Wanted

·         Dateline

·         Snapped

·         American Justice

·         Killer Kids

·         Making A Murderer

·         Mommy Dead and Dearest

·         Disappeared

·         Nightmare Next Door

·         True Crime with Aphrodite Jones

·         I (Almost) Got Away With It

·         Scorned: Love Kills

·         Obsession: Dark Desires

Looking at these lists there are at least one or more that you might have seen. You could be like me and find the shows fascinating and learn the not to-do’s from the people telling their stories. Each show has it niche and they might deal with parallel issues but then they have different ways to tell a story. Forensic Files for instance deals with a variety of cases involving rape, murder, kidnapping, serial killers, faking deaths and cold cases. It is truly fascinating how they’re able to solve these cases with a simple fiber from a car to even plants just with their DNA and some smart investigations. 48 hours is just as it sounds, the first 48 hours is vital to find someone who has gone missing. This is actually very common with the police department and so on.

I don’t know if any of you have seen the case of Gypsy Rose Blanchard and her mother Claudine “Dee Dee” Blanchard? It is covered on Mommy Dead and Dearest and to most it seemed like an open and closed case. It was much more complicated than that and there are many who sit on either side of the fence. This is the story presented in this case; Dee Dee spent almost all of Gypsy’s life keeping her disabled. She made up all of her medical conditions and spent over a decade stuck in a wheelchair. She was on so many medications that they induced the symptoms of the supposed conditions which she used to make her look sick to gain favor with different organizations. Dee Dee kept her daughter’s age from her as well, even telling her father not to reveal her age because she was mentally that of a 5 year old though physically being 15 years old.  It was discovered throughout the story that Dee Dee had Munchhausen by proxy which is a disorder in which the caretaker will induce sickness to get attention and gifts. These gifts were expensive trips to Disney world and other vacations. Dee Dee had also stated they lost their home in hurricane Katrina, so the place the relocated to build them a home for free. Dee Dee kept her daughter hostage for most of her life, abused her for trying to get away, keeping her away from her father and lied to keep people from helping Gypsy. To add to this Dee Dee had been her own mother’s caregiver and let her starve to death. She even tried to poison her step mother. Gypsy had run away a few times and her mother always found her and would threaten her and abuse her for her actions. The conclusion of this sad tale is that Gypsy had her mother killed by her mentally ill boyfriend. People felt as though Gypsy had suffered all of her life and they didn’t want to put in prison for life, being that she had been a victim in a terrible situation. They gave her ten years and she’ll still have a chance when she gets out.  

Obsession: Dark Desires is a terribly creepy show. The lengths that some people with go to for those they become obsessed with. Most of these cases involve different varieties of stalkers, love struck employees, ex-boyfriends and next door neighbors. It’s a scary world nowadays because of the internet and how much we give free for people to use against us. Just know that if you have someone obsessed with you then you definitely want to go online and look up websites like Beenverified to remove your information from being purchased. There are a number of free ones where you can just go in a delete them completely. This prevents others from having access to your previous and current addresses your family members and so much more. This is so legitimate I have done this and it’s a load off my mind to have this information off of the web. I’m sure that there are more out there but if you’re dedicated them you’ll have peace of mind.

While on other shows one of the reoccurring themes are the cases of both men and women who meet a charming person and within a month they get married without the allotted time to get to know each other. It is then that the trouble slowly begins. They don’t give enough time to get to know each other; there isn’t time to get to know someone in just a month. Because of this these people come face to face with a real life monster. Worst yet the small glimpses shown they brush aside and let them go. We as people should be aware of anyone in our lives. I’m not telling you readers that you should be suspicious but just be aware and give time in a relationship to learn the ins and outs of the person you might fall for and spend your life with.

Personally and this is just me mainly because of the things I’ve seen and been through; background search, tests for possible STDs. People lie and that means everyone, they will tell you one thing and you later find that the person you lie beside is a complete stranger. If the person you plan to be with does truly love you then they will not have any problems with your request in looking into them. It goes both ways too and you can give them the same thing. Just think for a second if everyone did this there could be complete trust, more so than what you want to imagine. If you were able to really know the person you bring into your life things would work out better. A lot of these people want to rationalize that they just had to trust the person’s word and that was enough. It really isn’t though and this is the end of each episode especially in ‘Who The Bleep Did I Marry?’ where each person says they wished they had known and how devastating it had been. With a little bit of knowledge you could save yourself years of your life wasted if this person turns out to be a horrible person.

Once let’s say a woman named Jane gets married to John the light switch flips and he shows his true colors. At this point you’re tied together because of the marriage. What’s worse is when they have children together and the children are used or kidnapped by the spouse. Not enough people stop and plan these things out, yes sometimes there’s accidents but most of the time its poor protection and planning. People make the mistake of joining bank accounts, even if you trust the person completely it’s better for your relationship not to. Most successful couples will tell you that with this separation in accounts the couple can erase one possible issue that most couples have. Money can tear people apart, even the strongest couples. Now back to the case of Jane and John, she will feel as though it is what you do in a relationship is join together bank accounts adding your spouse to all your accounts. It is not a breach of trust to keep things separated. You stay equal in your relationship and still are able to share your money with one another.

When you first date someone they only show you the good side of them. It’s new and exciting and you want to make a great impression but you need to get to the core of this person. But as we learn from these shows it is unwise to take that at face value. They are wolves in sheep’s clothing and the victims don’t see it coming when they wolf tear their lives apart.

The worst one are the ones who don’t have a criminal record because their acts have never made it through the system. Some lie about their name and that’s what makes it harder. This makes it harder for you to dig deeper.

If you notice that something isn’t right use your instincts and get out. It will get worse and no matter how many times you rationalize it there has to be a time when you leave and save yourself and your children. There is a point when trying to make the marriage work falls off the list of priorities especially when it comes to abuse. I had just watched an episode of Who the bleep did I Marry and this husband was drugging his wife every night so that he could have sex with her unconscious body. She finds out about the drugging and confronts him and she basically said don’t do it again, not this is messed up stay away from me. He did it again and she stayed after that, it wasn’t until she finds the videos that she decided this was what would break her and cause her to make a solid decision. Another thing that just baffles me is the ones where the woman or man gets a glimpse into the real person that they are and then they’re proposed to, they actually say yes despite continued abuse and mistreatment.

I’m not going to lie here and say that I know everything or that I’ve ever been completely wise in my past. But now that I’m older and look back I at least can say once I saw the red flags I would walk away and keep myself safe. I’m glad for this though and it opened me up to finding someone perfect for me.

Keep your eyes and mind opened to the world around you don’t allow someone to put you down, criticize you, deceive you, or control your life. You’re an independent person and you can still be in a relationship even if it isn’t with this person not treating you well. You will have problems in any relationship, but use a wise mind to pick out and weigh what you can fix and what you cannot. Don’t just jump into marriage lightly just because they seem perfect at the time. Live together feel each other out and learn their quirks before marriage even becomes a thought. I suggest doing as I do and binge watch these shows, especially Who the bleep did I Marry? Do it you won’t regret it!

Be wise my dear readers.

 Sincerely

Amanda M