#there is so much to discuss argh.. I gave myself a headache trying to reply from workplace though

[katyspersonal]

Let’s talk about Adeline for once!

1. Do you project onto this character?

11. How did you “fall in love” with this character?

19. Does this character serve as a stress ball/ security blanket for you? Something you run to after a bad day to feel safe or happier?

Her!! 🌊 (Asks from this ( x ) as game)

1) Do you project onto this character?

Kiiiiinda...? a whole lot Although it would be more appropriate to say that I see myself in her than project, because the more relatable bits are "canon", actually xD She is a weird one out amongst the patients to not be scared of horrors of the Deep Sea but desire them, she is guilty of neglecting/not getting Maria's advice of going a more sparing road towards the Stars but then sorta gets it when Kos reveals the same advice to her in inhuman language, and she is so nervous about no longer being in contact with the horrors... I know all of this very intimately. (Mental health TMI warning) Heck, I am the type that gets nervous when hallucinations, voices or 'presences' are absent for a while because I have this deep belief I've failed as a human being and only by being in contact with "horrors" my life can have some meaning :^)

I'd say 'projection' bit comes through how I interpret her motivations! "Grooming" of Blood Saints IS a translation error and in the original the word is used to say "prepare"(as in medical procedure), but it doesn't exclude some sort of emotional manipulation, just makes it a choice rather than direct lore. But nope! I took Adeline as a volunteer in experiments, coming from her own depression (and even insanity), not listening to advices or warnings of people that wished better fate to her and trusting a guy who was obviously full of shit cultist because she is Just Like That and having a good time with horrors not because her sense of self-worth was reduced by Healing Church, but because she never had one.. Blood Saint era, I think, was her willing to sacrifice something about her to help people. Laurence benefitted from that, not created that! I am guilty of all this, so now she is too :> In other words, she has agency because I do.

11) How did you "fall in love" with this character?

It actually took me some time! And I actually feel ashamed of how 'selfish' my reasoning was :') I always liked her enough, but she raised so far in the top of my favs when I figured her connection to 'Sea' theme, yeah. Right after I properly analyzed it via Miyazaki's bad post-BB hangover in DS3. Hhhyhhhghj Basically, figuring we did have spiritual connection with this character 'activated' my brain to notice and focus on everything else about her. And I've found soooo many things.. I brought back the "Points of interests about Adeline" analysis just recently and so you probably believe me x)

19) Does this character serve as a stress ball/ security blanket for you? Something you run to after a bad day to feel safe or happier?

Oh, absolutely! Whenever I scrutinize how far I've spiraled and it gives me feelings of self-hatred, I do find comfort in knowing that "I am just like Saint Adeline for reeeeal!!!!!1! XD". ......representation matters....? And comfort character term especially fits, because in most cases I focus on her when I have a bad day! (Don't worry and send me DMs when I do post about her though! Like I said, she DOES make me feel better already!)