#there is just. so much. going on in his head at all times
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nezuscribe · 3 days ago
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(previous part)
it's been a week since you've spoken to arranged!gojo, and he feels like he's about to start going crazy.
you don't speak during your meals, not even when he addresses you in a question. sometimes you spare him a glance, but he'd still rather see your icy glare than see nothing at all.
and he knows he fucked up. he knows that you seeing him alone with anya was perhaps the worst possible place you could’ve caught him, but he's been almost begging you to listen to him, to hear his side. but every time he goes to explain you leave abruptly, leaving him alone, feeling the looks of pity from those around the two of you.
and you know you're being petty. after all, the two of you are only bound by words, nothing else. if anything, the two of you were just becoming friends, so this shouldn't hurt you as much as it does.
but you hear the whispers of the ladies, hear of their secret proposals of how gojo would surely bed them if they just asked. how miserable he must be trapped with you, how this marriage is ruining his life. and you know anya, know about her history with him. before you were his wife you were the higher echelon wallflower, listening to all the gossip, observing from afar.
you've gathered some ideas in your head as to why he might want to speak with you. perhaps he wants to gently break the news that he's found a mistress, one that he actually loves. or that maybe he's already had one and now you know why he's been so secretive.
so the more he tries to talk to you, the more you pull away. you don't know why he cares so much, why this even matters to him. if anything, you feel like he should be content with your silence.
but he's not, and gojo grows more restless by the hour.
he decides he can't live like this anymore. tonight he's going to make you listen to him, even if you want nothing to do with him.
you're holed up in your room, talking with alina as she dabs lavender oil on your neck before you go to sleep. you know she knows about your silence with gojo, but ever friend, she does nothing to bring it up.
well, she wouldn't have to if he didn't come knocking feverishly at your door.
you watch in your mirror as she peeks her head out, her gasp of surprise causing a sinking pit to form in your stomach. you can hear how she scrambles with the titles of my lord, how she explains that you're nearly about to go to sleep.
it's late, the only light is the flickering of the candles on your nightstand. he should be asleep by now.
gods, you wonder for the millionth time this week, why does he care so much?
alina finishes up, closing the door slightly as she turns to you, her eyes finding yours in the mirror.
"i'm sorry my lady," she bows her head almost apologetically, "but my lord wants to talk to you. he's requested me to leave...if you'll excuse me," she bows, quickly leaving, not giving you any time to actually excuse her. you know she can't stay any longer, but you do wish she put up more of a fight. you watch her skirt bustle away, the door being left slightly ajar.
you try to act nonchalant, continuing to dab the oil onto your wrists as you look down, even when you hear the door click shut, even when you can feel his presence several feet behind you.
you sigh through your nose, heat rising to your cheeks.
"what?" you bite out, your own voice shocking you. you want to get this over with, not too desperate to hear about how he's ready to take on a mistress and shun you away.
you can hear him take in a deep breath, your eyes briefly looking up in the mirror to catch his, the same ones that make your knees weak, and avert your gaze.
"you haven't spoken to me in over a week," he says after a beat of silence.
you shrug indifferently, despite the fact that he could probably ask you the specific amount of hours it's been since the two of you had talked and you'd give an accurate number.
"i've been busy," you murmur, taking your earrings off as you place them gently in the little glass bowl to the side.
he doesn't say anything about your blatant lie, just nods slowly, as if he understands.
"i missed hearing you talk," gojo tells you quietly, almost as if his voice had been stuck in his throat, and you wonder if any man before him had ever tried to sweet talk his wife before he told her about his new mistress.
you don't say anything, still refusing to look at him as you stand up from your seat, turning off one of the candles near you as you smooth out some of the wrinkles of your nightgown.
"is this what you really want to tell me gojo?" you say bluntly, looking to the side momentarily, getting a longer look at his bulky figure, how he tries to make himself seem smaller, "that you miss my stupid jokes and dull stories?"
"they're not stupid," he quickly cuts in, his voice a little stronger, brows furrowed, "and i like your stories."
you roll your eyes, moving around the bed, to the side where he's not, and fluff your pillows. you've never found this useful, but it gives you something to do with your hands other than fidgeting with them.
truth be told, you're reflecting. you're scared of what it is he has to say, and so you try to appear stronger, and less caring, despite the fact that it's tearing you apart.
you try not to feel self-conscious of the fact that this is his first time ever seeing your room, or the fact that it's so bland. you didn't come to this estate with many things, and so you've tried to spruce up the space as much as you can, but aside from the few flowers and paintings on the wall, you fear it looks bland compared to everything else he's seen.
"and no," gojo adds, running a hand through his already tousled white hair as his arms crossed over his chest, and you finally allow yourself to stare at him, "that's not all i wanted to say."
he paused for a second.
"i don't know why i followed her out, or why i even stayed to hear her speak, but she kept saying these things about..." he trails off, gnawing on his lips as your eyes narrow slightly.
"me?" you finish for him, and his eyes dart to yours.
gojo nods a little bit, arms bulging a little bit as if remembering what she had said.
"i'm used to people staring at me, i lived with it my entire life. but with you, people..." he struggles to find words, "people stare longer. and i don't know why."
you raise a brow.
"do you want me to explain?" you say and he looks at you briefly, almost in a brazen way.
he shakes his head as if he had steered off track.
"that's beside the point. what i wanted to tell you is that she...she was saying some nonsense and i was about to leave until she offered for me to stay at the hostelry she was at." his blue eyes are wavering, his finger itching to get closer to you. this stupid bed is in the middle of you two and he wishes it were gone.
your breathing hitches a little bit, and you hope he doesn't see the sad tilt on your lips.
"so i banished her. or, well, i guess you saw her and then i banished her, but i would've done it regardless," he explains hurriedly, "look, i'm sorry...really sorry. if you want me to-"
"you banished her?" you cut him off, voice raised slightly in confusion.
his mouth gapes open for a second, and then blinks slowly, nodding.
"of...course," he tilts his head, his gorgeous head, slightly "you know that i am married, right? to you? she was offering to-"
"i thought you were going to tell me that you slept with her. o-or i don't know! that you were going to make her your mistress or something!" you spew out, your voice raised as you pace around the floor, moving a little bit closer to him as his eyes widen.
"why would you ever think that?" gojo says in a panicked tone, nothing like the man who commanded the northern army, but more like somebody who was watching his world burn in front of him.
"why?" you exclaim, shocked, "why? are you daft? every single woman wants to sleep with you! every single time we host those dinners, o-or we go to those parties, they look at you and they look at me and they pity you. i hear the whispers of the ladies, how they wouldn't mind being the other woman."
gojo hears the way your voice wavers, how your lips tremble, and the way you try not to let your bottom lip quiver. he sees the way you try to stay strong, to keep your image unbridled, but right now he feels like he's watching you break and he doesn't know what to do.
"so? what makes you think i'd do anything with them?" gojo argues, his voice raised a little bit, not in shouting, but in genuine disbelief.
you take a moment to step back and observe his behavior, and a nagging voice in your head tells you that he's telling you the truth. that he's concerned and worried, that maybe all he came to tell you tonight was an apology.
but that can't be correct.
so you sigh, your arms crossed over your chest protectively.
"i...i don't know," you murmur, "you sleep in another wing, you're always away. i thought...maybe..." you can't meet his eyes, fidgeting with the ring on your finger.
gojo takes a step forward, lips parted, cheeks rosy and flushed.
the two of you don't say anything for a minute, his chest heaving up and down. you feel like there's a weight both removed and added onto your shoulder.
"why didn't you say anything?" he whispers, "did you think...did you think i was...?" he can't finish the sentence, the words themselves too gruesome.
he doesn't say anything as he takes another tentative step closer.
you watch him, your eyes mirroring one another.
"i made a vow to you," his voice is heavy, traveling across the spanning stone walls, going deep into your bones, "and even if you prefer me to be your friend, i'll keep to that vow till the day i die."
your eyes gloss over, lips trembling.
you don't say anything, taking a couple steps forward as you smash against his chest, face crumpling against the stone wall of his torso as you hug him tightly, hoping that he can't feel the tears that seep through his nightshirt.
never in your life has somebody made a promise to you. and never in your life has somebody kept to that promise.
"thank you," you murmur, your voice muffled as his arms wrap around your body, steady and strong.
"and anyways, i'd prefer to be married to you than those miserable women any day," he mumbles into your hair and you laugh wetly, squeezing your arms tighter.
"really?" you say, tears blurring your vision.
"really," he hums, not able to say anything because he fears what you'd say if he told you that he'd rather be your husband and your friend. but he'd keep that inside, respecting your wishes.
if only he knew you wished the same.
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lovemomhatepolice · 2 days ago
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what brought back that smile? - lando norris
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pairing: lando norris x fem! reader
warnings: kinda established relationship, fresh relationship, curious muppets!, English is my second language!
type: fluff, pure fluff
word count: 3,5k
summary: 5 times when someone asked the reason for Lando's sudden surge of happiness, but he preferred to keep his sweet secrets to himself
more content: f1 masterlist, lando norris masterlist, birthday one-shot
Since Lando Norris broke up with his then-girlfriend Luishina in 2022, no one has seen him this happy since. Of course, there have been moments where Lando walked around smiling - for example, when he won his first race in Miami or partying with friends in Ibiza. On more than one occasion, fans saw him joking and laughing until his stomach hurt with other drivers, but further down the line, everyone knew that the old Lando was gone. The one who laughed through love. The one foolishly in love, who proved it at every turn. Since his former relationship, Lando hasn't bonded with anyone - there were only rumors of fleeting romances or PR relationships. Until recently. In fact, no one knows when it took place. And since when Lando felt like a foolishly infatuated boy again.
THE FIRST TIME: Oscar Piastri When Oscar noticed changes in Lando's behavior, it was not much before the Japanese race. Or at least it wasn't so visible before. Norris was walking around smiling from ear to ear, constantly forgetting what he should do or who he should talk to about the changes in the car. No one paid much attention to it, and Oscar initially tried to ignore it as well, and winning in Miami a month later further eclipsed the spy's thoughts. After all, Lando had won his first race after so long in Formula One and so many times standing on the podium. The Mclaren drivers weren't the best of friends on the grid, but Oscar knew it wasn't because of winning the race. Or at least not just because of that.
Oscar was curious, even if he said very little about his life, the Lando case drilled him from the bottom up. And it started off small.
One morning 2 weeks after the Miami race, Lando showed up for a meeting with a goofy smile on his face. His attention was focused on everything during the strategy discussion, his mind was clearly elsewhere.
“Are you okay?” asked Oscar, poking his teammate under the table. As if awakened from his trance, Lando stopped tapping his fingers against his thigh and turned his head toward the Australian, smiling that silly grin again. “Yeah, all good, mate. “ he asked, tilting his head to the side. Oh, how foolishly charmed he was. “Why do you ask?”
Oscar shrugged. “I dunno. You just seem... happier these days. What brought back that smile?”
The question hung in the air for a long moment. Lando hung his head and laughed quietly under his breath, as if he was thinking whether he wanted to say it or rather not. And that was the option he chose, keeping his new infatuation to himself.
“Well, you know, buddy, I won a race recently. A chance to celebrate, huh?”
Oscar laughed, but couldn't shake the feeling that there was something else behind that smile, and that Lando was lying right in his eyes. Something - or someone - had brought back that trademark Lando smile. But Oscar decided to let it go for now.
Meanwhile, Lando was smiling to himself. Was it really that noticeable? Could everyone now know his sweet secret?
Such questions were cluttering his mind, but he tried not to worry about them. They were quickly superseded by thoughts of [Y.N]. It was wild how fast she had slipped into his life. What had started as a chance meeting turned into hours of effortless conversation, late-night phone calls, and a connection that had somehow brought him back to life. He hadn't felt this way since…. well, he couldn't remember the last time. And that was the point of it all.
MUPPETS: Carlos Sainz Jr Carlos had known Lando since 2019, so this year was their 5th anniversary of knowing each other. From the very beginning, the men, despite the age difference, got along great. And they soon became friends, too, supporting each other in worse and better moments. You could say they knew each other like the back of their hand, so while Lando was drifting away more and more each possible time during their conversations, the Spaniard had no more questions or thoughts. He was well aware that his younger friend's head was occupied by not something, but someone.
The sun beat down on the lush green of the golf course, the Spanish heat was unrelenting even in the early hours of the day. Carlos set up for his shot, squinting against the blinding glare, while Lando stood to the side, waiting his turn. It was a rare moment of calm before the chaos of the Spanish Grand Prix weekend, and Carlos was glad to be spending it with his best friend.
Until he saw Lando miss every time, which hadn't happened all that often before. Well, okay, Lando was worse than Carlos at golf, but to that extent?
And those constant glances at the phone, which he was so reluctant to leave in the golf cart.
“Ay, muppet. What the hell is wrong with you?” rang out Carlos' voice as he hit the ball.
Of course it flew cleanly where it was supposed to fly. But what's the pleasure of playing as your friend drills a hole in the grass with his club, his other hand constantly checking his phone screen?
"Huh?" Lando snapped out of his trance. This had been happening to him more and more often lately, nay, it had been happening to him for more than three months now.
“You’ve been smiling like an idiot all day,” Carlos teased, though his tone was softer, more curious than mocking. “Actually, you’ve been like this for weeks like not months now. So, tell me—who is she?”
Lando’s cheeks flushed pink, and he quickly turned his attention to the golf ball at his feet, fiddling with his club. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he muttered, but there was a grin he couldn’t quite suppress. And in fact, I don't think he wanted to get rid of it.
Carlos laughed, poking Lando playfully on the shoulder. “Come on, cabrón. I know you too well and it's been a long time since you've been this happy. So who's the lucky girl? Who brought back that smile?”
Lando sighed under his breath - he knew he could trust Carlos, he was his best friend. He just liked the fact that he and [Y.N] were in a closed bubble of happiness that they had made for themselves in three months. Of course it was still fresh and nothing was certain yet, but Lando gave in. To whom as to whom, but to Carlos he already had to tell. It was drilling him from the inside.
“It's … nothing serious,” Lando finally said, shrugging his shoulders as if it was no big deal. “It's just… I'm meeting someone. I'm trying to keep it discreet.”
Carlos raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. “Dude, I've known you long enough to know when you're serious about someone,” he said, and his voice became softer. “And if she makes you smile like that, I'd say it's more than a casual.”
Lando bit his lip, trying to hide the smile that threatened to break through. The truth was that [Y.N] had quickly become the best part of his days.
“Maybe,” he admitted, finally meeting Carlos' gaze. “But for now it's just … between us, sure?
Carlos clapped Lando on the back, a broad grin on his face. “I’m happy for you, hermano. And don’t worry—I won’t tell anyone. But I have to say, it’s good to see you like this again.”
They both laughed and Lando already knew he was lost. Together, with Carlos, were like the biggest gossips, so he quickly unlocked his phone, even jumping up and down with happiness, wanting to show Carlos some pictures of them together. What luck befell him when he found out that [Y.N] also loves to take pictures.
Carlos leaned closer, curious. Lando pulled out a photo from a few weeks ago - from his once-in-a-lifetime date with [Y.N]. They were sitting on a blanket in a meadow somewhere by the water, the golden sunset casting a warm glow over them. The girl's head was tilted toward him and resting on his shoulder, her eyes were crinkling with laughter, and Lando looked happier than Carlos had seen him in a long time. His hand was on the girl's shoulders, visibly embracing her closer to him.
“I want her to be the one, you know?” muttered Lando, smiling even wider when he saw the notification from her.
LUCKY CHARM: Lando's parents Lando was able to hide his fresh relationship from his friends, from his fans and from the rest of the world. But he definitely couldn't hide it from his parents and siblings. Not even a month of knowing [Y.N] had passed when he vividly talked about how much he had fallen in love and how he hoped she was the one and last woman in his life. His loved ones were damn happy to finally see the most sincere smile of his entire life on the face of this little Lando Norris.
The air around Silverstone was charged with electricity, and the energy of the home crowd gave Lando joy like no other race on the calendar. Walking through the bustling paddock, he felt lighter than he had in years. It wasn't just the thrill of racing on his own track - it was the realization that somewhere among the sea of faces there was [Y.N], watching him.
Fortunately, he managed to smuggle her into a private hospitality suite, away from prying cameras, journalists and fans. They had been seeing each other for almost four months, in truth they were not a couple, but everything was going for it. Lando wasn't the only one who was foolishly infatuated with the relationship; the girl, like him, walked around with her head in the clouds, as her university colleagues or friends seemed to notice more than once. But in her case it was easier to hide, after all, she didn't have a million eyes on her like Lando did.
When Lando entered his private area in the Mclaren garage, he immediately noticed his parents, sisters and brother, who were smiling at him from ear to ear. The entire Norris family had a close relationship with each other, so of course everyone knew about Lando's new sweetheart, whom he had been dating with for four months.
“And there's our smiling boy!” laughed Lando's mother, hugging her son tightly. The driver laughed under his breath, hugging his family one by one, fortunately in a place where the eyes of others did not reach and they could have a moment of peace. “I'm glad you're all here,” Lando said, stroking his younger sister Flo's hair.
“How could we not be here?” asked Oliver, Lando's brother, laughing under his breath.
The atmosphere was great, however, everyone knew this question would come sooner than perhaps it should?
“Well, you know what, tell us where she is,” said Lando's dad, poking him lightly on the shoulder. “You're laughing so hard, I won't believe she's not here.”
“Yes! Show us finally what brought back that smile,” said his mom, echoing her husband.
Lando felt his face heat up, but he couldn’t keep the grin from spreading. “You two don’t miss a thing, do you?” he said, shaking his head.
“We just want to meet her,” his mum said softly, eyes twinkling with warmth. “We’ve heard so much about her, and if she’s the reason our son’s been so happy lately, we’d love to say hello.”
After a moment's thought, Lando nodded. “All right. I'll bring her - but behave,” he said with nervous but excited energy.
Lando slipped stealthily out of the garage and headed for his room, which only he and a few Mclaren people had access to. Although it was a rather hidden place, [Y.N] did not complain. She could wait out the time until the race in peace, just as she could go out to Mclaren's garage and watch it there. Lando made her as comfortable as possible.
When the girl saw him, she raised her eyes and smiled warmly in his direction. “Are you okay?” she asked.
“Yes, everything is fine,” he assured her, taking her hand in his. At the same time, he forced her to get up from the soft couch. “But… there is someone who wants to meet you. My family is even dying to meet the woman of my heart.”
The girl took a deep breath and smiled. “I'd love to meet them.”
Holding hands, they returned to the hospitality. When they went inside, Lando's mother sighed quietly and immediately crossed the room to hug [Y.N]. “Oh, how nice to finally meet you,” she said, and her voice was filled with sincere warmth.
“She's beautiful,” Cisca whispered, looking at Lando. The boy only whispered a quiet “I know” and laughed under his breath.
Immediately the whole family greeted the girl, hugging her tightly and bestowing kind words on her, including telling her how happy they were that she was making Lando so happy again. And everything was somehow better. His parents and siblings were talking to the girl he'd had in his heart for several months, and everything was going smoothly. Lando was just standing off to the side, keeping his hand on her back and giving her a little kiss to make her feel better. But he was probably the most stressed one there.
Lando checked his watch, feeling the familiar pre-start jitters begin to overwhelm him. But today he felt a little better than usual.
“I have to go now,” he said reluctantly, turning to face the girl. His parents moved away to give them a moment of privacy.
“You can do it, you're amazing on the track,” she purred, placing her hands on his shoulders and gently correcting his suit.
Lando merely smiled in her direction and without hesitation placed his hand on her cheek and leaned in, pressing their lips together in a quick but tender kiss. This was not how they had imagined their first kiss, but in that moment it was their best memory and the time this kiss could have happened. Lando pulled away from [Y.N], their eyes met and they both smiled at each other, giggling under their breath.
Lando checked his watch, feeling the familiar pre-race jitters starting to creep in.
“I’ve got to go,” he said reluctantly, turning to her. His parents stepped back to give them a moment of privacy.
“Good luck out there,” she whispered, her eyes shining with pride. “You’re going to do amazing.”
Lando smiled, but there was a flicker of nerves in his eyes. “I hope so. This one’s important,” he said softly.
[Y.N] reached up, cupping his cheek with her hand. “You’ve got this, Lando. I believe in you.”
Without thinking, Lando leaned in, pressing his lips to hers in a swift, impulsive kiss. It wasn’t planned, but in that moment, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. He pulled back, their eyes locking, and they both smiled.
“For good luck,” he whispered, his voice low enough that only she could hear.
And even if he came in third place after the race, it didn't bother him much. He won something better and it was an amazing woman.
HI IBIZA: Max Fewtrell stream Max knew Lando since they were kids. Both could not imagine life without the other person, they were inseparable. Even if it didn't work out for them to be Formula One drivers by their side, it didn't change anything. They were always side by side, and as soon as Max heard about Lando's new crush, he knew this was the one. Norris had never talked so seriously and eagerly about any girl before. And Max liked to tease him about it. But at the same time, he was damn happy.
The warm glow of sunset in Ibiza paints everything with a golden sheen. Lando Norris, Max Fewtrell and their group of friends held a casual live stream at their bungalow, which they rented for the whole group of friends. This stream was definitely different from their typical ones, where they played games on two different sides of the screen, but that was good too.
Everyone was more muted than at times when they were playing and shouting at each other. However, the biggest difference could be felt in Lando. He was more subdued, gently but sincerely smiling, and his eyes shone with such happiness that you could envy him.
The stream had been going on for about an hour, and the fans didn't run out of questions. They were inundated with the same questions as always, but today they had more opportunity to answer them because they weren't stressed by the background game. Lando kept getting questions about the Championship, the races, the competition and some side silliness. Until Max caught one significant comment among thousands of others. And of course he had to ask them.
Fan comment: "Lando, what brought back that smile? It's been a long time since we've seen you so happy, and of course that's great, but what's your secret?"
Max looks at Lando with a smile and winks. "Good question," he says, leaning back in his chair. "So, man, what's been making you so happy lately?"
"Oh, you know. Life has been better lately. Beautiful weather, sunshine, we have a beach house. The break from racing is good for me too, my head isn't as busy," Lando replied, playing with his hair and smiling under his breath.
Oh how he lied, how he lied to keep his bubble of happiness calm even longer.
"Really? Gee, I guess I agree with that comment, you're somehow happier lately," said Max, glancing at Lando with a teasing look. He remembered well how Lando had talked down his relationship on the stream, but he wasn't going to do the same to him. "Or maybe you've found a hobby other than Formula One?"
"Maybe," he laughed lightly under his breath, feeling the warmth inside his body. "I guess I just got old and I'm not that rebellious 20-year-old anymore "
"Oh, it's definitely old age, you name it" Max laughed and went back to looking for interesting comments, leaving the matter of Lando's happiness. He wanted his friend to still have peace from prying eyes.
After the stream was over, everyone went their separate ways. Some decided to have a bonfire, but Lando felt he needed the solitude. He walked out to the beach, which they had right outside the gate of their cottage, and felt the cooler evening wind brush his face. He smiled under his breath when he saw [Y.N] by the shore. It wasn't a smile that the cameras could see; he reserved this one for her alone.
The girl was wearing a white loose dress that swayed gently in the wind, and her hair was tousled by the wind. It wasn't a moment before she heard him and gently turned toward him, giving him a beautiful smile. "Have you finished the stream yet?"
"It's been a while now," Lando stepped closer, feeling the sand under his feet surround him pleasantly. "I had to get away from the chaos. And the fans are getting curious, they asked what secret I have"
Girl raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Secret? What secret?"
Lando smiles mischievously and walks closer. "That I'm the happiest I've been in years." - he says in a quiet but sincere voice.
[Y.N] smiles, her eyes sparkling in the moonlight. Without another word, she steps into his arms, and Lando doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around her, pulling her close. They stand there for a moment, just the two of them, the sound of the waves crashing in the background. Lando takes a deep breath and places a kiss on her hair, pulling her even closer to him. It was the peace he had needed for a long time
FIRST CHRISMTAS: [Y.N] Lando and [Y.N] had been together for almost half a year. Their lives were filled with happiness that neither of them had ever experienced before. From the first day, they understood each other like two peas in a pod, and that's how it stayed. That's why she was surprised by how happy Lando was.
The couple in love are together in the kitchen, with the countertop in front of them strewn with flour and other ingredients for making gingerbread cookies. [Y.N] is wearing one of Lando's voluminous sweaters and humming a Christmas carol, pacing next to the countertop. Lando, on the other hand, dressed in his loose Mclaren T-shirt and Christmas pajama pants, is trying to roll out the dough, but it's not going well. His hands are covered in flour and the dough keeps sticking to the rolling pin. Well, it's easier to say that his whole body is covered in flour.
"Do you need help, chef?" - asks [Y.N], leaning against the countertop and looking at him with an amused smile.
Lando raises his gaze, feigning impatience. "It's harder than it looks, sure?" - He laughs, combing his flour-dusted hair with his hand. "I thought baking was supposed to be easy."
"It's easy, you just have some manual problems," the girl laughs and moves to his side, gently taking the rolling pin from his hands. "Here, let me," she says, guiding him to the side. Their fingers brush as she takes over, a soft, tender moment.
"Sure, my baking queen," the boy laughs, looking at her with adoration.
"You could do the icing." the girl says, pointing to the already made gingerbread cookies.
Lando's eyes brighten, his smile widening. "Icing, huh? That's sounds better." He grabs a piping bag and starts filling it, but as he attempts to pipe a simple design, it all goes horribly wrong.
“Lando!” she laughs, her eyes crinkling with amusement. The icing has spilled everywhere.
He looks down at his hands, dripping with icing. “Well, that’s not what I had in mind…” He shrugs sheepishly.
“You’re adorable when you try, you know that?” She leans in and wipes a bit of icing from his cheek, her thumb brushing against his skin.
“And you’re just adorable,” he says, moving closer to her.
Lando’s hands quickly find their place on her waist, and his face is twisted into a genuine big smile. They both giggle, putting the matter of the cookies aside.
“What brought that smile again, huh?” the girl asks, touching his lips, which is also dirty with icing.
“You,” he says simply, and his voice carries a quiet sincerity that makes her heart skip a beat. "It was always you"
For a moment, they both stand in silence, the hum of the Christmas music in the background, the quiet crackling of the small fire in the corner of the livingroom adding to the coziness of the apartment. It’s a peaceful stillness, the kind that only exists between two people who’ve found something real.
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A/N: i know it's no nut november and this should be smut but i swear when i had a vision i had to write this. i hope you like it because i won't lie, i fucking love it!
please do not copy and translate my works! in case of any issues related to this - I invite you to discuss privately :)
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cutielando · 3 days ago
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my baby | l.n.
synopsis: in which you bring your son to his daddy’s first ever race
a/n: based on this request!! i changed things up a little and only made it fluffy, hope you like it!!
my masterlist
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Ever since your son was born, you and Lando had had multiple talks regarding exposing him to the world and bringing him to the paddock.
He was still so little, being only a few months old, so there was a lot of discussion between the two of you about when would be a good time to finally introduce your son to that part of Lando’s life.
You debated a lot about firstly which race would be the best one for him to attend, finally settling on Silverstone. It was a very special race for the both of you, it was Lando’s favorite race weekend, his whole family would be coming and would be able to eagerly help, should any situations arise during the weekend, you were close to your UK home.
It was honestly the best decision in that aspect.
McLaren had been so kind as to send you some little T-shirts with Lando’s name and number on the back, some headphones so you could protect Noah’s ears. He was all ready to go, all clad in his papaya shirt and little cap.
However, as much as Lando had been looking forward to finally having the both of you in the paddock since Noah’s birth, he was suddenly feeling more anxious as you’re about to leave the house and go to the track.
You noticed the frown he had on his face and how deep in thought he seemed to be, walking over to him with Noah right on your hip, sucking on his pacifier in silence.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” you asked him, putting a hand on his shoulder and rubbing it affectionately.
“You agree this is a good idea, right? We’re not rushing him into this, it’s completely okay and safe to bring him with us” he asked, looking at you with worried eyes.
Looking at him so desperate for reassurance, you remember your first days as a new mom, worrying about every single thing that Noah would do, what you should do with him and what you shouldn’t, calling your mother and Lando’s mother every half an hour with another question.
It’s normal for new parents to be anxious, and Lando was now feeling the protectiveness that came with having a baby of your own and bringing him out into the world.
“Baby, we’ve talked about this. We have it all figured out. Your family is going to be there if anything does happen, we have your whole team there who are more than eager to help with anything. We’ll be fine, this little guy will have the time of his life” you said, smiling at the quiet boy in your arms and bouncing him in your arms, chuckling alongside Noah as he started to giggle and wave his arms in the air.
Lando smiled, looking at Noah like he was the center of his universe, like nothing could ever measure up to how much love he had for his son.
He was ready, so there was no reason why Lando shouldn’t be ready. After all, he had you by his side.
He didn’t need anything else if he had you.
“Alright, let’s get going then” he declared, sitting up and taking Noah’s bag from you, determined to carry everything to the car by himself.
You chuckled, shaking your head as you adjusted little Noah on your hip.
“Let’s go and bring daddy some good luck, shall we?” you cooed at Noah, admiring his little smile and clap when he heard the word “daddy” in a sentence.
Such a daddy’s boy.
♡♡♡♡♡
“Do you want me to turn the car around and just take you guys home? I’m sure nobody would mind” Lando said as soon as he parked the car in his designated spot.
You looked at him confused.
“Why? Did something happen?” you asked, keeping an eye on Noah who was currently too busy playing with his feet to pay attention to the two of you.
Lando sighed, resting his head against the seat and closing his eyes.
“I just think we’re rushing into it. He’s still young and I’m worried that something could happen to him while I’m in the car” he confessed, and you let out a knowing sigh.
“I know you’re stressed out and worried, but you have nothing to worry about. I’m going to be with him the entire time and your entire family is going to be with me. He literally can’t be more taken care of” you said, joking a little at the end to help him breathe a little.
Lando smiled, chuckling a little before twisting around to look at you in the backseat.
His eyes naturally gravitated towards Noah, who was happily playing with his McLaren teddy bear the team had gifted Lando when Noah was born.
“Sometimes I wish we could keep him away from all of this for the rest of his life” he said, his eyes focused on his son.
"I know, but right now, you don't have to worry about him. You know I won't let him out of my sight" you said, making Lando smile at the thought of you going all mama bear on your son.
"Alright then, off we go" Lando unbuckled his seatbelt, exiting the car and opening your door for you.
He made quick work to grab the diaper bag and all of his essentials while you lifted Noah up from his car seat and settled him on your hip, cooing at the smiley little boy.
"Ready?" Lando asked as he came to stand next to you, putting his arm on the small of your back and leaning down to press a kiss on Noah's head.
"Are you ready to see dada race?" you cooed at Noah, tickling his tummy lightly, which prompted him to burst into giggles.
“My lucky charms” Lando whispered, looking at the two of you with so much love.
He truly couldn’t have asked for anything better in his life. The trophies, the wins, the losses, they didn’t compare to this. To you, to your son, nothing could ever compete with how much Lando cared for his family.
As you started walking towards the paddock entrance, your passes clutched in Lando’s hand, you kept Noah close to you, trying to shield his face from the cameras as best as you could.
You softly maneuvered his head so his face was buried into the crook of your neck, which Noah immediately complied with because he loved it when you held him close.
“I’ll do my best to hold them off” Lando whispered as he scanned your passes and already noticed the hoard of paparazzis that were waiting for him to arrive.
You nodded, smiling politely at the cameramen as Lando quickly walked with you towards the McLaren hospitality.
Clicks and flashes could be heard all around you, every single one trying to get a glimpse of your baby boy, but Lando was having none of it.
“Lando! Over here!”
“Is that your son?”
“Can we see him? Just a picture”
Every single word fell on deaf ears as Lando continued to lead the three of you away from them, thankful when the shouts ceased and there was nobody around you anymore.
“They sure know how to try and get what they want” you said, letting out a big breath that you hadn’t realized you had been holding in.
“It’s an invasion of privacy, they should have some respect, especially when they can see I’m with my family” he grumbled, his jaw muscles clenched.
You slowed down your walk until you came to a halt, resting your hand against his cheek.
“Hey, we’re okay. Calm down, we’re both fine, okay?” you said, waiting for an answer as Noah started squirming in your arms.
“Yeah, I’m good” Lando replied after finally feeling himself calm down a tad, resuming your walk towards the hospitality.
When you arrived and entered the building, the first thing that you saw was Lando’s family eagerly chatting amongst themselves, clearly waiting for the 3 of you to finally arrive.
You didn’t even get to think about anything before Noah was taken from your arms by Lando’s sister, Flo, cooing at him and beaming at the smiley boy.
There was nothing more pure and warming than seeing the bond between Lando’s family and your son. He was also the first grandchild on your side of the family, so that little boy was as spoiled as one could be.
“How are you doing, dear?” Cisca snapped you out of your thoughts as she came to stand next to you, Lando having gone to his driver’s room to unpack his things.
“I’m okay, a little tired from the jet-lag, but doing alright. A little nervous to have Noah here with me, but you all being here puts mine and Lando’s mind more at ease” you said, giving your mother-in-law a side hug.
“Was he terrible when you were talking about coming with Noah?” she asked, smiling knowingly.
You laughed, shaking your head affectionately at how well she knew Lando.
“He freaked out about 4 times before we even got out of the car” you said, making the woman laugh.
Lando emerged into the room again, immediately frowning once he saw that Noah was still not back in your arms.
Both you and Cisca watched as his eyes searched the entire room for him, finally settling on the boy happily babbling to his auntie Flo, Lando immediately going over to them.
And as you all sat there with each other, both you and Lando realized what a great support system you had and what a perfect family you have built together.
His win, of course, only solidifying his saying that you were both “his lucky charms”.
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emmyrosee · 2 days ago
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shhhhHHHHHUTUPIDONTWANTTOTALKABOUTIT
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The first time you sleep over Katsuki’s, it’s not long after he’s moved into his apartment with the rest of his friends.
Which is bold, the only one who doesn’t flirt with you any chance they get is Mina -mainly because she has her own place- but she’s always telling Katsuki that the minute you get bored with him, she’s there to swoop in.
But his friends waste no time in making sure to rile Katsuki up with cheesy pickup lines that mean nothing to you, but everything to him. He hates the idea of having his friends hit on you, but you’d be lying if riling him up wasn’t exhilarating.
You smile as you hear bare feet pad along the tiling of the kitchen, a massive presence looming behind you; it’s warm, loving, and you feel yourself relaxing at the closeness.
“Morning,” he rasps, arms wrapping around your waist. You smile and curl against him, tipping your head back to look at him.
“You hungry?”
“You didn’t have to make us breakfast,” he murmurs, pressing a loving kiss to the curve of your neck.
You mewl and bend your arm to wrap around him, “I know, I just wanted to do something nice for my man and his friends for being such good company last night.”
He grumbles, “don’t ever refer to my roommates as ‘good.’ Bunch of fucking menaces and creeps.”
“They can’t be too bad,” you hum, turning off the stove. God knows how long you’ll both be drooling with affection. “After all, you let me meet them,” you coo. “And you’d never let your little baby be put in danger.”
“Fucking hate when you call yourself that,” he snaps, spidering his fingers up your side. You squeal and shrink to the side, only to be met with pokes on the other. “Katsuki!”
“Don’t be a little shit and I won’t have to torment you,” he snickers. You’re quick to flick off the stove with what little movement your arms can give you while protecting you from tickles, and you duck as fast as you can under his caging limbs to escape.
He must like the challenge, because he lets you go, only to barrel after you into the living room. A small coffee table separates you both, and you’re at a standstill as you watch each other.
“Katsuki!” You giggle, making a sudden dart to try and throw him off your trail. It doesn’t deter him, like he’s able to predict what you’re going to do before you do. “Y-You’re gonna wake everyone up!”
“I’m not gonna do a fuckin’ thing,” he snorts. “You’re the one screaming and whining.”
“Am not!”
“Are too.”
“Am not!”
“Are too.”
“Are not-“
“I think it’s bold of you to argue with me instead of sprinting away.” He shrugs, making a dash for you and wasting no time in grabbing you into his big arms. You writhe and laugh in his grip, desperate to not shriek and wake his poor roommates. Giggles bubble wildly over your lips, and he hauls you back into the kitchen before plopping you onto the countertop, distant from the stove. You instinctively move your hands to card his blonde hair, and he leans in to steal the last of your giggles from your lips.
“How much time we got before breakfast burns?” He mumbles, hands smoothing up your thighs. Crimson eyes glimmer with mischief, and he bumps your nose with his.
You chuckle and shake your head, legs wrapping around his thick waist, “it was burning before you came in; I turned off the stove so it wouldn’t burst into flames.”
He snorts, “good.” One of the hands resting on the meat of your thighs comes up to grip your chin, “now I don’t have to rush.”
“Ew,” you giggle, but it dies as quickly as you said it when he connects your kiss, working his lips against yours in this own way, full of passion and love with just enough tease to have you whimper.
The hand on your cheek shifts down to rest on your delicate throat, dangling like a necklace. A subtle act of dominance to make you shiver.
“I love you,” you murmur against his lips.
“I love you more-“
“Ewwwww!!!”
“Who knew he had a weakness?”
“Lookin’ good, Dynamight!”
Immediately, Katsuki’s shoulders hike up as the shrill voices from his friends ring through the air. You let out a string of laughter while the other boys you were visiting peer around the wall of the apartment, Sero with a face of disgust, Kirishima with a playful understanding and Kaminari with a cheesy bite of his lip.
“I’m going to KILL YOU IDIOTS!” He barks, abandoning you to dash over to the trio, mainly targeting Kaminari and Sero, who sprint away as fast as they can. Kirishima chuckles and makes his way over to you, helping you off the counter with a sigh.
“How’s he ever going to keep being Number One if you keep doing this to him?”
You snort and elbow his ribs while somewhere in the house, Katsuki caught Denki, and the screams ring loudly in the walls.
“Shut up and help me remake breakfast, dickhead.”
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moonstruckme · 2 days ago
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Hey angel!! hope ur doing well!!
i was wondering if I could request roommate!marauders where they have crushes on reader buttt she already has a bf but he's just a total jerk.... and u sorta get the idea?? (if u haven't done one like this already)
much love!!! <3333
Thank you for requesting lovely <3
cw: douchebag boyfriend, marauders fancy reader but don't genuinely want her to cheat or end her relationship for them
(poly)roommate!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1.1k words
It’s heartbreaking how lovely you look first thing in the morning. Sweet, rumpled pajamas, plodding gait, sunlight stretching over features still soft with sleep. You raise your hand to cover a yawn as you enter the kitchen, eyelashes still drooping like they’ve weights sewn into them. 
“Morning,” you say on the tail end. 
“Morning.” James opens one arm to you. You step into the hug automatically, and he drops a kiss to your head, his own private indulgence. You’re eyeing the omelet he’s frying up with his other hand. “Want one?” 
“Mm, wish I could,” your voice is a somnolent mumble, “but Dale’s taking me to breakfast in a bit.” 
James tries not to react, but his hold on you stiffens some. From the living room, he hears Sirius scoff. “Oh.” 
“I’m sure your omelet would be better.” You pat his side, moving out from under his arm to go to the coffee pot. “We’re going to this cafe he likes, and they never have anything I want. Still, I can hardly show up full.” 
James feels himself frown. Typical of your boyfriend to take you somewhere you don’t even like. Perhaps he’s a tad biased, but James thinks you should eat one of his omelets and show up full just to teach him a lesson. 
He plates up the one he’s just finished. You tail him into the living room as he delivers it to Sirius, curling your feet up underneath you on the couch. Remus is sitting in the armchair reading the paper. He and James have already had their breakfasts, but you and Sirius are always the last up on weekends.
“Are you finished with the funnies?” you ask Remus. 
He looks up at you with a tenderness James doesn’t know how you can’t see. “Yeah,” he says, shaking out a page. “Here.” 
Sirius snickers at your choice of reading material as you reach across him for it. You nudge his thigh with your knee. “Bite me.” 
“Anywhere you’d like me to, babe.” He winks. 
You roll your eyes and fold the page to read, well used to Sirius’ flirting. Similarly to how he’d done with Remus, Sirius’ ill-advised tactic for winning you over involves alternating between taunting you relentlessly and acting like his affection for you is all one big joke. It only barely worked on Remus—James’ interference had been required there, and that was before he’d admitted to himself his own feelings for either of the two boys—so James doesn’t understand why Sirius would give it another go with you. 
“Oh.” Remus closes his paper, seeming to remember something. “I was wondering if you might have time to go with me to the farmer’s market this morning. We’re out of eggs, but I can’t haggle with the woman like you do.” 
You give him a sorry sort of smile. “I would, but Dale’s meant to pick me up at ten.”
“Oh, well.” Sirius rolls his eyes, chewing malignantly on a bite of omelet. “If Dale said he’ll be here at ten, then surely that’s what’s happening.” 
You bump his thigh again good naturedly. “Be nice.” 
James bites his tongue, and even Remus reopens his newspaper with a tad more vigor than necessary. Sirius is by far the most vocal with you about your boyfriend’s flaws, but your roommates all hate him. The guy’s a prick. James would never in a million years try to convince you to leave your partner for them—and despite Sirius’ joking, he knows neither of the other boys would want that either—but if you broke up with Dale, he would be very tempted to throw a party. 
James really doesn’t understand how someone like you could end up with someone so holistically unpleasant as your boyfriend. He’s rude, inconsiderate, he doesn’t express any gratitude for the sweet things you do for him, and he is never where he says he’s going to be when he says he’s going to be there. He shows so little regard for anyone but himself. If he told you he was going to pick you up at ten in the morning, he’s just as likely to arrive at three in the afternoon. Even for your half-hearted defense of him, it’s nearly ten and you’ve made no move to change out of your pajamas or get ready, because you know he won’t be here on time. It irks your roommates to no end to see you tolerate such poor treatment. 
“Maybe you can go with Remus to the farmer’s market,” you tell Sirius. “You seem like you could negotiate.” 
“Sirius doesn’t know how much eggs are supposed to cost,” Remus says idly. 
“Oi!” Sirius objects through a mouthful of omelet. “I do so.” 
James smiles at him. “Really. How much do you think eggs cost, love?” 
Sirius manages to take another bite while James is asking, so his mouth is conveniently too full to answer. 
“I can manage it on my own,” Remus says with indulgent fondness. “Dove, do me one favor, though?” 
You lift your coffee. “Sure.” 
“Don’t let him summon you outside with his horn again.” 
There’s a brief but thick silence while you finish swallowing your coffee and all three boys try not to look too obviously judgmental (Sirius trying the least, naturally). The purse of your lips reveals some embarrassment. 
Still, your voice comes out unconcerned. “It’s not a big deal to me. It’s not like we’re in school and I need him to come to the door and meet my parents. It’s a time saver.” 
“It’s rude,” says Remus gently. “You deserve someone who will come to the door for you.” 
James’ thoughts exactly. 
“Sure you don’t want some toast or something while you wait?” James asks, partly to dispel the tension and partly because he really does think you should eat something if Dale isn’t likely to be here until the afternoon. “You could call it an appetizer.” 
You stand with your emptied coffee mug, passing an affectionate hand over James’ hair as you move between his legs and the coffee table. “Thanks,” you say genuinely, “but I’m alright. I’m going to go get ready.” 
However eager James is to avoid the tension that comes from insulting (or, really, just speaking frankly about) your boyfriend, Sirius has no such concerns. “While we’re telling Dale things,” he says after you, “be sure to remind him that our flat has a three-strike roommate tears policy. Next time you come home crying, Jamie and I get to make a house call.” 
Your laughter echoes down the hallway. “Sure, I’ll let him know.” 
Sirius looks at James, perplexed. “Did I sound like I was joking? I was not using my joking voice.” 
James pats his leg consolingly.
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no-144444 · 2 days ago
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The Grid! : When their teammate likes you...
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Featuring: Oscar Piastri, Lando Norris, Lewis Hamilton, George Russell, Alex Albon, Franco Colapinto, Logan Sargeant, Daniel Riccardo, Liam Lawson, Charles LeClerc, Carlos Sainz, Arthur LeClerc, Ollie Bearman, Max Verstappen, Paul Aron, Jack Doohan.
this is 18+ so mdni please! smut in some of them!
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Oscar Piastri: somehow plays it cool…
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Oscar understood that you were a magnetic person. You’d always been more extroverted than him, always been a bit more open to other people, and generally, you were just interesting. He got where Lando was coming from, to be fair, he’d fallen for you too. 
But openly flirting with you in the middle of a red flag during one of the most dangerous races of the season? That took a certain asshole. 
Lando Norris. 
Oscar had looked up to Lando throughout his career, and now having him as his teammate was brilliant. He loved it, up to a point. In recent months he’d been noticing the way Lando looked at you. The way he talked to you. The way he always wanted to be around you. 
“Hey baby,” you smiled, wrapping your arms around Oscar as he walked up. “Doing well out there.”
He also knew that you were less than interested in Lando. Not that you didn’t like him, but you did find him slightly immature and ridiculous, especially with how he handles races and media afterwards. You much preferred Oscar’s style of driving, and his way of speaking. 
Oscar nodded, pressing a kiss to your cheek. He watched as Lando’s face fell, then he quickly picked it back up. “Doing our best, right Lando?”
You both looked to Lando, who looked guilty, like he’d been caught. 
“Yeah mate,” he agreed before walking off. 
“Jealous much?” you smirked, pressing a kiss to his cheek. 
Oscar shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Just wanted a kiss, that’s all.”
“From me or Lando?” you teased.
“You, obviously,” he mocked. 
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Lando Norris: deeply insecure. 
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Lando is insecure about a lot of things. One of his main ones is his worth as a human, and a driver. It hit him hard when Oscar got to stand on the top step of a podium before he ever had. He knew it was a matter of circumstance and the fact that the car was getting better, but it still hurt. Yet, you were always there to pick up the pieces. His sweet, kind girlfriend who was always there for him. 
That same girlfriend that was laughing at a joke Oscar told. Oscar wasn’t funny. Oscar has never been funny. 
Lando watched as you two talked. He watched the way you laughed, the way you smiled, the way you engaged with his points and added your own. The way you two easily laughed, joked, and teased each other without ever going too far. 
He couldn’t help but feel… without. You had always been more introverted, and your extroverted side always seemed to come out with other introverts, aka, not Lando. Then began his spiralling of wondering whether or not he was good enough for you. He knew you loved him, and he loved you, but would that be enough? When you’re so different? When he can’t give you what Oscar can? Oscar was a 2-time-Gp winner in his second year. Oscar was more similar to you than Lando was. Oscar’s personality was closer to yours than Lando’s was. 
Was he enough for you?
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He walked into the hotel room, exhausted, and glad that the day was over. Media days took it out of him, and he was sick of watching Oscar’s smug face as he charmed you all day. 
You flung yourself on the bed, exhausted. “Oscar would not shut up today, would he?” you sighed. 
Lando’s lips quirked up into a smile. He turned to hide it. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. He kept talking to me about random shit, and I had to pretend to be interested all day.”
Lando almost laughed. “You don’t seem to mind when I talk your ear off.” 
“Yeah, obviously not,” you scoffed, looking at him as if it were obvious. “I like your rants. You don’t expect me to answer you all the time. You just let me listen. Plus, I love your voice.”
Lando’s heart felt fuller than it did before. You picked him. You loved him. 
“You like my voice, eh?” he smirked, joining you on the bed. He pressed soft kisses to your neck as he wrapped his arms around you. “I know a way you can hear it-”
“Lando, did I not just say I’m exhausted,” you chuckled, playfully pushing him off. 
He smiled. You truly were perfect. 
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Lewis Hamilton: unbothered 
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He watched as George attempted to flirt with you and laughed. You laughed too, thinking it was a joke. George walked off, embarrassed. 
Lewis walked over and you wrapped your arms around him, holding him close. “George is-”
“Pathetic?” he offered and you shook your head. 
“Don’t be so mean!” you scolded. 
“He’s a big boy, he can take it,” he smirked. “And anyways, what was he thinking?”
“I am your wife,” you nodded, agreeing. “But he is pretty cute…”
Lewis raised an eyebrow. “Should I be worried?” he teased. 
You laughed. “Never.” 
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George Russell: trusts you
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“Lewis, nice to meet you,” you smiled, shaking his hand. “I’m Y/n Russell.”
“Y/n… your sister?” Lewis turned to George, smirking. “I didn’t realise she was so pretty, I guess someone had to take all the beauty genes.”
“She’s my wife,” he smirked, wrapping an arm around your waist. “And yes, she is gorgeous.”
You somehow kept it together as Lewis apologised and walked off, but immediately broke out into laughter as he turned his back. 
“What a dick,” George chuckled. “You alright?”
“All good baby,” you giggled. “A bit weirded out that he thought we were siblings.”
George nodded, grimacing. “I vote we never speak about this again.”
“I second that,” you nodded. 
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Kimi Antonelli: confused more than anything
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Ollie was a really nice guy, one of Kimi’s best friends despite only knowing each other for a year. He was a good teammate and a good friend. 
Kimi was clueless. He didn’t always understand what people meant when people ‘flirted’, to be fair, English was his second language. He watched as Ollie wrapped an arm around you, resting it over your shoulder as you grimaced, clearly wanting him to stop. Kimi just shrugged, assuming you’d just push him off or ask him to stop. You weren’t exactly known to put up with shit like that, so he wasn’t worried. You three walked around the Monaco bay, looking at the boats as the sun set, all three of you full from dinner. When you finally parted ways, you and Kimi went back to your hotel room as Ollie stayed out, going to Arthur’s house to visit, you sighed as you lay down. 
“What did you think of Ollie?” Kimi asked, laying beside you, your back to him. 
“Apart from his obvious flirting, I thought he was nice, I guess,” you shrugged. 
Kimi frowned. “What do you mean?”
You turned around to see him. “Him flirting? Yeah, I thought you’d say something about it,” you explained. “He was kind of… weird about it.”
“Did he make you uncomfortable?” he asked, upset with himself that he hadn't noticed. 
You stared at him with an inquisitive look, he really was oblivious. “Of course he did.”
“What?” he questioned. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I didn’t want to make a bad impression,” you muttered. “He’s your best friend.”
“And you’re my girlfriend,” he reminded you, taking your hand. “And you are more important. If someone makes you uncomfortable, you tell me and I will deal with it, alright?”
You nodded, pressing a gentle kiss to his hand. “Thanks Kimi.”
“Anything for you,” he smiled. 
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Alex Albon: slightly insecure…
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He sat in his drivers room, he’d just filmed Team Torque with you and Logan, and he couldn’t help but feel… left out. You were American, specifically from the exact state of Florida, where Logan was from, you lived on the same street. You’d grown up together before he left to move to do European single-seaters. The entire episode was just you two talking and reminiscing over your joint experiences as a kid. Logan remembered everything about you, your favourite colour, your favourite food, even your favourite childhood movie (which Alex had gotten wrong). 
“What’s on your mind?” You asked, sitting beside him. “You’re not talking.”
“I didn’t know you and Logan were such good friends,” he admitted. 
You shrugged. “We grew up together.” 
“I know,” he responded, his voice low and hardened. “I didn’t know he’d remember everything about you.”
“I mean, people told me he had a crush on me in middle school so…” you trailed off when you noticed how Alex was closing his eyes and nodding. “Are you… jealous, or something?”
“No.” Yes. 
You smiled, feeling a little bit guilty. “Alex, you don’t have to be jealous,” you assured him. “I love you. More than anything.”
The pain in his chest eased slightly. “You’re sure?”
“Very,” you nodded, pressing a kiss to his cheek. 
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Franco Colapinto: doesn’t even notice or gaf
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Alex laughed at one of your jokes as Franco looked over some of the data from his crash. After a while, you walked over, wrapping your arms around his waist and hugging him from behind. 
“Hi bebé,” he smiled, tired, but happy to see you. “How are you?”
You groaned. “Alex keeps flirting with me.”
His ears pricked up hearing you say that. “Alex?”
“Yeah,” you nodded. He turned to you. 
“Should I ask him to stop? I can talk to him-”
“It’s alright, I made him aware of the fact that I’m not interested,” you explained. 
“Oh, alright,” he shrugged. “Once you’re happy.”
He went back to looking over the data and you frowned. No reaction? No possessiveness?
“You don’t mind?” you questioned. 
“That he was flirting with you?” he asked, you nodded. “No, not really. I’m the one you’ve chosen for 3 years. We love each other, sí?” 
You nodded. 
“So we’re fine,” he smiled and pressed a soft kiss to your lips. 
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Logan Sargeant: also a bit upset…
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He sighed as he watched Alex chat to you, a smirk on his face. You were his girlfriend, Alex couldn’t have you. Alex had James, Alex had Williams, Alex had the talent. Logan had you. Alex couldn’t have you. 
You glanced back at Logan, who had grown quieter in recent moments, and you frowned. His eyes were blown up, wide-eyed, mouth open, and his mind was thousands of miles away. You politely ended the conversation with Alex, dragging Logan back into his driver's room with a concerned expression. “Are you alright?”
He nodded, trying to play it off. “I”m fine, just… tired.”
You frowned again. “Logan, you can talk to me.” 
He shook his head, his hands gripping your waist, then the dam broke and he rested his head on your shoulder. “I don’t want to lose you if I lose this.”
Your heart broke. “Logan you’d-“
“No, please just let me talk,” he whispered. “I love you, more than anything. We both know I’m getting replaced either after or during this season,” hearing him say it as such a definite, hurt you. You knew how badly Williams had messed him up, but to hear him so defeated? You could’ve cried. “And I don’t want to lose you if I lose all of this. I love racing, but I love you more. You’ve been here through everything, always. You’re always here for me, and I just hope I haven’t fucked this whole relationship up with all my mental health stuff and being a bad driver-”
“Logan,” your tone was stern. “I love you. I love you, my Logan. I support ‘F1 driver Logan Sargeant’, and you’ll always be that, but I love Logan Sargeant, the boy who asked me out when I was 14 and never looked back, the boy who has made me feel loved and supported since that day, the boy who fought an uphill battle and is only now realising he’s allowed to let the boulder fall. I love that you’re a fighter. I love that you’re a driver. But I love most that you care about and love me. I care more about your mental health than any money or fame you could ever gain. I’m not asking you to keep putting yourself through this, Logan. I want you to be healthy and happy. I want you to smile again. I want to see the real you again.”
“What is the real me if I’m not winning?” his voice was just below a whisper. 
“You get to figure that out,” you smiled, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Now please look at me Logan, so you know that I’m telling the truth.”
He raised his head, his eyes watery as he looked at yours, and for the first time in a while, he actually felt like it might all be ok. 
Granted, only when he was with you, but alright all the same. 
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Daniel Riccardo: freaky wit it
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Daniel gripped his steering wheel harder, his knuckles turning white under his gloves. He was in the car, meant to be in the zone, but all he could think about was the way that Yuki had a hand on your back. He knew Yuki definitely wasn’t a threat to him or his relationship, but it still felt shitty not being able to get over there and show him that you were his. 
He rushed out of the car, exhausted after bringing the VCarb in Q3 yet again, and immediately his hands were on you. 
“Looking so good today baby,” he whispered between kisses. “So fuckin’ pretty for me.”
You groaned against his lips, smiling. “Yeah?” 
“Oh yeah baby, the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen,” he smirked as he pushed a hand into your underwear. Your eyes went wide and you clapped a hand over your mouth to stop yourself from moaning too loud. You weren’t even in his drivers room, you were doing it against Yuki’s door in the hallway. 
“We should-fuck- we should go to your r-room,” you stuttered out as he rubbed your clit in lazy circles. 
“Why?” he smirked. “When I could have you right here and now,” he punctuated every word with a kiss, moving your hand and swallowing your moans as he sped up. “So fuckin’ beautiful so me.”
“Dan,” you moaned as he finally pushed a finger in. 
“So wet for me too. You like doing it like this? Where anyone could hear you? Anyone could see us?” he knew his words were falling on deaf ears as he revelled in the fact that he got to watch you fall apart for him. He got to make you cum, he got to kiss you, he heard every laugh, saw every part of you and your personality. It was him who you picked to love, and be loved in return. 
And by God, he wouldn’t trade you for the world. 
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Liam Lawson: angry sex anyone???
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Liam grabbed your hand, pulling you into his drivers room after he had watched Yuki give you heart-eyes yet again. 
“That fucking dick,” he seethed, pressing his body against yours, pressing kisses up and down your neck. “Always fuckin’ wants what’s mine.” 
“Liam,” you whimpered as he pushed you down on the bed. “Please.”
Any and all control of himself was abandoned, and he pulled his race suit off, watching as you pulled off your dress. 
“Fuckin’ perfect,” he cursed, climbing on top of you as he smirked. “You’re all mine, aren’t you?”
You smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck as he slowly pushed inside you. It burned, in the best way. “All yours.”
He smiled. “That’s my girl, taking me so well.”
Once he was fully inside and you were comfortable, he was thrusting in and out of you at a rate previously unknown to Liam. Did he like fast and rough sex? Yes. Was it ever this fast? No. Was it ever this rough? … no comment. He was grabbing and smacking all over your ass and tits, you were too busy gripping onto his hair as he used you how he pleased, all the while cursing out Yuki and praising you. 
You both left the driver’s room a little bit less steady than before, but much more satisfied than going in. Liam felt better too, since he’d given you something to show just how much he meant it when he said he was yours, and you were his. That something stayed dripping down your leg as Liam finished the race, ahead of Yuki. 
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Charles LeClerc: death?
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He watched, the light in his eyes slowly dying, as you spoke animatedly to Carlos. 
Carlos Sainz, now number one enemy of Charles LeClerc. 
Honestly, he knew you’d never choose anyone over him, you loved him and he knew that. Still, some voice inside of him continued to urge him to run over to you two and scream ‘mine’ and then run off with you. He didn’t, obviously. He knew you would’ve been mad at him if he did. 
As the day continued, you stayed talking to Carlos, every so often, Charles would interject with a sarcastic comment, or some stupid fact about you, then following it up with ‘yeah, I know more than you’. It turned the two of them into school children. Both of them coming to you at different times of the day with random facts about random things, until you finally told them both to stop and share their love of facts with each other, not you. You had gotten so frustrated with the two of them, that you didn’t even want to speak to Charles. 
They both stopped after that. 
Any time Charles was jealous after that palaver? Yeah, he just stuck with the regular PDA overload. He didn’t want to deal with another sex ban. 
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Carlos Sainz: also freaky wit it
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His gaze darkened as he watched Charles put a hand on your shoulder. Bullshit. You were his girlfriend. You were his. 
“Querida, stop fucking with me,” he demanded, a tight hold on your arm as he dragged you into his hotel room, 30 minutes later. 
You scoffed. “I’m shockingly not fucking with you at all,” you smiled, annoyed but unsurprised at his shitty behaviour. “In fact, I was being perfectly nice to everyone, including you, all night.”
He watched as you sat on the bed, exasperated and tired of his behaviour. He noticed how you quickly pulled off your heel, took down your hair and sighed, staring at him. 
“What?” you asked. “What did I do now?”
Part of him left bad, it wasn’t your fault that you were irresistible. It wasn’t your fault that Charles thought he could have whatever he wanted. It wasn’t your fault that you had to be kind, just to keep up appearances. It still made his blood boil, but he did appreciate the fact that it wasn’t technically your fault. 
But someone had to help him get rid of all of this pent up tension. 
“On your knees,” he spoke, his voice low and laced with desire. Your eyes widened, but you did as he said anyway and sank down to your knees in front of him, “It’s going to be a long night, querida. I can’t wait to see your pretty makeup smudged,” he smiled sadistically as you tried to not be as turned on as you were. 
I guess you two were a match made in heaven, or maybe hell. 
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Arthur LeClerc: plays his jealousy off… (not)
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He grabbed a handful of your ass, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to yours as you yelped. You had been unsuspecting as you leaned over the guest barrier, trying to hear what Manuel was saying to you, when Arthur had caught his other teammate, Charles, staring at you with a smirk. 
You shoved him off after a few seconds and stared at him, waiting for an explanation. 
He shrugged. “Je voulais t'embrasser,” (I wanted to kiss you). “Is that a crime?”
“When you’re doing it like that, yes,” you chuckled, amused by his jealousy. 
“What?’ he smirked. “You don’t like it?” he teased. 
You rolled your eyes. “Arthur LeClerc,” your tone was warning. “Don’t push it,” you leaned in closer, whispering. “Tout le monde n'est pas aussi obsédé par moi que toi, arrête d'être jaloux.” (Not everyone is as obsessed with me as you, stop being jealous).
He laughed. “Tu es irrésistible,” he pressed another kiss to your lips. “I cannot help it!” You gave him the finger as he walked away, and he blew you a kiss.
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Ollie Bearman: a bit upset…
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He literally hit his head against the desk as he watched Kimi flash you his signature smile. He was sick of it. You were his girlfriend, not Kimi's best friend. You were his girlfriend. Alas, he couldn’t exactly whisk you away, you were his race engineer after all, and this was a strategy meeting, so he sucked it up and paid attention, trying not to look at you. 
You’d noticed how low Ollie had been all day and caught up with him as you walked out of the strategy meeting. “You alright?” you asked, wrapping one his arms around your shoulders as you walked beside him, away from the rest of the group. 
“I’m alright,” he lied, a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes on his lips. You frowned. 
“Please talk to me,” you begged. “I don’t like it when you shut me out.”
He sighed. “It’s embarrassing.”
“It’s not,” you smiled. “I’m sure it’s not Ollie, just talk to me.”
“I don’t like how close Kimi is to you,” he admitted. “I’m… It makes me jealous sometimes.”
Your face softened. “So I’ll put some distance,” you shrugged. “Easy.”
He did a double-take. “N-no I- you don’t have to do-”
“Ollie. I want us to work, and if that means I have to ask Kimi to back off a little bit, then I’ll do it, yeah?”
Ollie nodded. “I’m sorry-”
“Shut up and kiss me, Bearman,” you rolled your eyes, wrapping your arms around his neck as you pressed your lips to his. 
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Max Verstappen: ummm guys???
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Max would be an insufferable child. He would literally hide their gloves and racing shoes, he would put dish-soap in their bottle, he’d somehow fuck up their laundry, and all because they looked at you too long. You were his, why would anyone else think you were available. 
There he was, on live, racing with his team, when you came over with another can of redbull for him. He’d been focused on the game, but out of the corner of his eye, he saw a glimpse of his teammate, Luke’s stream. He saw him checking you out. 
He saw red. 
“Luke, do you need something or do you just like staring at my girlfriend?” he scoffed and you groaned. He wasn’t unknown to make scenes in public. 
“Max,” you groaned. “Please don’t.”
He rolled his eyes and settled for a kiss on the cheek while Luke just blushed. Max understood where he was coming from, you were fucking gorgeous. That still didn’t make it right though. 
Again, a little while later, he caught Luke staring at you as you sat in the back of his set up, watching the race silently. 
“Seriously Luke, do I need to turn off my camera or can you act like an adult and keep it in your pants?” He scoffed. “Het is onzin,”(it’s bullshit) he sighed.
“Max, calm down,” you pressed a kiss to his cheek, muting his mic. “Who gives a fuck about Luke?”
He groaned, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you closer. “I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable,” he admitted. 
“I’m a big girl, I’ll be alright,” you smiled, kissing him again. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” he smiled, then went back to his racing, though he did push Luke off the track (in the game) a few (7) times. 
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Paul Aron: he trusts you. 
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He sighed, watching Armaury place a hand on your waist. Was he losing you?
Then he smiled as he watched you shove him off, shouting in his face. You were a big girl, you could handle yourself. You didn’t always need Paul to come in and protect you, he loved that about you. He felt his sense of pride growing as you walked over, still shouting at his teammate who was looking increasingly guilty and uncomfortable, even more so when you ran over to Paul and kissed him right there and then, in front of everyone. 
Yeah, he really had nothing to worry about. 
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Lance Stroll: mf he is scary. 
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Lance smirked as he watched James (a friend of his) wrap an arm around your waist as you danced with a couple friends. Your face screwed up into one of disgust, and you politely excused yourself to get another drink. James sauntered over to Lance, a smug smile on his face. 
“Might want to keep your lady on a tighter leash,” he smirked. 
“Oh yeah?” Lance cocked an eyebrow. 
“Yeah man, she was dancing all over me!” he chuckled. “Seriously, I’d steal if she wasn’t such a-”
“Don’t finish that sentence,” he told him, his tone dangerous. “My girlfriend is exactly that, my girlfriend. If you want to go dance with her and make her uncomfortable, that’s your prerogative, but don’t be surprised when I punch you for it.”
His ‘friend’ left quickly after that. He didn’t bother you again. 
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Jack Doohan: maybe a bit angry…
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He scoffed as he watched Pierre try yet another pick-up line on you and he felt himself get even angrier. Yes, he was the new guy. Yes, he should definitely bite his tongue and suck it up. Did he do that? No…
He went over to you and wrapped his arms around you, pressing a kiss to your head as Pierre’s face fell into a frown. 
“Oh, you two are-!” He started.
“Together? Yeah. 3 years, right babe?” He smiled, a little too smiley for regular Jack.
“3 years, sounds right,” you nodded. “Nice to meet you Pierre,” you smiled before walking off, away from the two of them. Jack followed behind you and you sighed. “You’re an idiot.”
“It’s not my fault I have a hot girlfriend,” he defended. 
“It’s not my fault I’m the hot girlfriend!” You laughed. “Just… keep your jealousy to yourself in the future!”
He grabbed onto your waist a pleading look in his eye. “But you make it so hard…”
“Don’t give me ‘fuck me’ eyes right now Jack Doohan,” you scoffed, pushing him off. “You are such a child.”
He chuckled, happy with himself. 
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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)
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cherubunie · 3 days ago
Text
baby doll ~ sim jaehyun x reader
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౨ৎ inspired by this request !! ♡ ଓ ⋆˙⊹ [ 제이크 ] ☆ in which jake eats out his virgin girlfriend for the first time and ends up going batshit insane with obsession & possession
word count ; 2.7k
dom! jake x sub! reader . corruption kink , oral , lots of praise , very very slight degrading if u squint , fingering , neck kisses , hickeys , Jake is a little bit of a pervert , not proof read , this kinda sucks oh well
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Jake and you have been together for four months , and the two of you have decided to take things slow.
he was so so patient with you- so kind and loving , never has he ever made you feel uncomfortable or forced to do anything. he wanted to go at your own pace, even if that meant he had to rub one out after a heated make out session in private once a while.
he was the sweetest boyfriend ever and he loves you so much..
so much he began to slip into insanity
you two have had conversations before, such as establishing a safe word and what kinds of things the two of you were kind of into
which led him to discover that you were in fact a virgin.
ever since you told him that small fact about yourself, he drove himself further into madness.
how on earth were you a virgin?
he thinks to himself on a regular basis. you're too fucking gorgeous.
the thought of having the perfect little girl who has never experienced having sex was phonenomal. he wanted to show you all the different ways he could make you feel good, which positions he could fold you into, he wanted to force perfect whines and moans out of your mouth as he fucked his cock deep inside you for the first time. he wanted to teach you how to suck him off- imagining your round eyes looking up at him while your mouth was stuffed full of his length was too much for him to contemplate.
Jake knows its wrong, but when he's snooped through your room a couple times while you were in the shower. he imagined what your naked body looked like when it was wet, how the water droplets would travel inbetween your breasts and thighs- the picture made him unbelievably hard-, he then found himself discovering the awful cute panties that are folded neatly in your underwear drawer that have adorable matching bras. he also discovered a measly pink vibrator tucked away in a box of that underwear drawer, completely dead and his mind began to race.
have you came to the thought of him at all? do you imagine him fucking you as you use the pathetic little toy on your clit?
he couldn't seem to stop his dirty thoughts that began to cloud ever part of his being.
the thought of you wearing one of those adorable pieces of underwear underneath your clothes made him feel all sorts of things. and oh god whenever you would walk around your apartment with just a hoodie on made him wonder if you were wearing one of the cute lacy panties with a black bow stitched in the middle.
here you were, reaching up on your tippy toes to grab a glass out of the cabinet.
and that god damn hoodie of his that you're wearing began to ride up to show the curve of your ass, the lacy underwear peaking out from underneath.
Jake felt himself growing in his jeans just at the sight, you truly had no fucking clue what you were doing to him.
"come here baby" jakes voice traveled through the apartment. you pop your head out of the kitchen with the biggest smile on your face.
"coming, I was just getting water" you trot into the living room, setting down the glass of water onto the surface of the coffee table. you stand up and look at him, that cute smile on your face still prominent.
his hoodie falls around your mid thigh, the article of clothing completely swallowing your figure and he begins to wonder how you look underneath.
he would love your body regardless of its shape of course, but that doesn't stop the dirty thoughts that form in his skull. every fiber of his being is telling him to rip it off of you and stuff your face into the couch below him and fuck you raw- but he decides on the latter.
"come here doll, let me look at you" your feet patter on the hardwood floors as you walk over to your boyfriend, standing in between his spread legs. his hands find the outsides of your thighs , his thumbs rubbing gentle circles on your exposed skin.
"you're so beautiful" his words make a deep blush coat your cheeks. his hands suddenly grip your legs, shifting your body so that you can sit on his lap facing him.
you gasp at his forwardness, but lean into his touch nontheless. your head leans down and your breath fans his face. Jake looks up at you through his eyelashes, admiring your beautiful face that's beet red at his gentle words.
you both lean in for a kiss, your chapstick smearing onto his lips as your mouths move together. your hands move to wrap around his neck, pushing your body into his front.
the kiss quickly began to escalate, your mind was fuzzy, your hands were frantic, and your pussy began to wetten.
his tongue intruded your lips, sliding against yours while his hands moved from your thighs up to your hips underneath the hoodie you were wearing.
his fingers played with the hem of your underwear, a quite whine leaving your throat- to which Jake happily swallowed. your hands moved up to his head, your fingers lacing in his thick locks in order to tug and pull on them.
now it was jakes turn to moan into your mouth, his fingers tightening on your hips as he began to grind his growing bulge into your core.
everything felt hot and overstimulating , your head began to hurt as you quickly pulled off of your boyfriend.
your lips were kiss swollen and your face was red. Jake looked up at you with concern, his hands instantly slipping out of the hoodie in order to cup your cheeks.
"what's wrong my love, are you okay?" you nodded your head trying to catch your breath. your eyes fly closed and your hands grip into his shoulders.
"we don't have to baby doll, lets put on a movie and cudd-"
"I- I want to.." your voice was small, tone laced with embarrassment. jakes eyes widen in shock and he tilts your head to look at him.
"we don't have to if you dont want to , im okay sweetheart I promise" he reassures you , as hes done for the millionth time since the two of you started dating. your eyes open and lock onto his.
"I want to, Jake... I really really do im just- nervous is all.. what if it hurts?" oh my god.
Jake feels his chest tighten and he bites back a smirk, his hands moving down to cup the slope of your waist. he wished you wouldn't have said that, because all he wants to do now is manipulate your body into any position he wishes while he takes away any and all sense of innocence you have in your body.
"how about this baby, I'll eat you out and finger you until you're ready for me, hmm?" jakes eyes darken slightly , you avert your eyes from his with an embarrassing huff.
"what it... what if i.. I dont know.." you stutter over your words, not wanting to finish the stupid sentence.
"big girl words, doll" you sigh again and cover your face with your hands, muttering into your palms
"what if I taste bad" your words are muffled, but Jake can hear them regardless. he takes his big hands and wraps them in his hold, forcing your hands away from your red face as he speaks to you.
"you will not taste bad , I swear... how on earth would you have a bad taste, you are the sweetest girl to ever walk this damn earth" his compliment makes you giggle.
there is absolutely no way you could taste bad and he knows it.
he's smelt your underwear before out of pure curiosity and has never been more obsessed with the idea of eating you out ever since.
before you could protest, hes picking you up into the air. your legs wrap around his waste and your arms tighten around his neck with a squeal.
"Jakeee" you drag out his name with a giggle as he walks over to your room. he sets you on the foot of the bed and you feel even more embarrassment at all your stuffed animals looking at you.
Jake stands inbetween your legs, his hands on your knees in order to keep them apart.
you lay on your back and reach above your head, turning around your stuffed rabbits that rest in front of your pillows before sitting up and facing him.
Jake has to stifle a laugh that threatens to bubble up passed his chest, but one makes it out anyways.
"dont laugh at me.. I dont want them watching" you are too fucking adorable, his heart swells in his chest at your words.
Jake leans downs, his body towering over yours as he brings you into another kiss, this time it's more heated; demanding as his mouth moves against yours rhythmically. your hands move to his back, arms wrapping around his shoulders. you feel his hands at the base of the hoodie. he breaks the kiss with a wet pop, he looks into your lust-filled eyes- a silent plea.
"can... can we keep it on..?" you ask him, and he instantly responds.
"of course baby, anything you want sweetheart" Jake brings one of his hands to press against the mattress behind you before he gently leans you back, your head falling onto the mattress gently.
you feel yourself growing wetter, your clit pulsating in your panties as he kisses you deeply once more. your hands move to his hair- tugging on it once more.
Jake bites your lower lip and you hiss, your hips grind up into the air in a desperate search for friction. he trails his kisses to your neck before sucking down on your skin, leaving the prettiest purple marks that have you arching your back while breathless whimpers drip off your tongue like honey.
Jake detaches from your neck and sinks down to his knees in front of the bed, his face coming down to your clothed pussy. he pushes the hoodie up around your stomach, baring your underwear to him. your face is hot and you worry about how you taste and look, attempting to control your breathing as you lay down on the mattress.
"shh baby, its okay, I got you" his words reassure your overthinking mind. he brings a cold finger up to your clothed clit and presses down, earning himselfa sharp inhale from the perfect woman above.
he rubs his digit in soft circles, coaxing your body to relax.
"j-jake.." you whine as he chuckles. after a moment of concentrated massaging to your clothed clit- he sees a prominent wet patch form on your underwear and he curses at the sight.
without thinking, he pulls your panties to the side and slips his fingers through your wet folds. your back arches and your eyes close at the feeling.
"so wet for me already?" he teases you. your mind is racing - as is your heart while he pulls his fingers away from your heat in order to pull your pretty panties down passed your ankles.
you sit up on your forearms as he places his hands on your knees in order to pull your legs apart.
and the sight of your dripping pussy makes him fall for you all over again. the unholy thoughts that run ramped in his mind are sick, the way he wants to split you in half and fuck you dumb overtakes his thoughts- but he calms them in an instant.
he brings his face closer to your heat so his breath fans your aching pussy. your arousal drips down your ass and onto the sheets before he brings his tongue out in order to lick a stripe up your pussy- making you shudder in your hold.
he does it again, and again, and again- making your breathing rapid and uneven
"so sweet.." he mumbles before wrapping his arms around your legs in order to pull you down onto his face- his lips automatically wrapping around your clit.
your mouth slacks open in a gasp followed by loud moans. his tongue works its magic against you- flicking and sucking around your sensitive bundle of nerves. your hands fist in the sheets, using them as leverage to keep you grounded.
Jake groans into your pussy as he feels your hole clench around nothing- so he brings his middle finger up to your cunt before sliding it inside your tight pussy.
you quite literally suck his finger inside you before clenching around him. Jake lets out a stream of curses into your wet pussy
"fuck.. so tight. such a perfect baby doll falling apart in my hands" you moan at his words, your hips rocking into his face.
the unfamiliar feeling of Jake eating you out makes body feel weak and your mind feel empty- stars beginning to form in the darkness behind your eyelids.
Jakes finger pumps inside your pussy, curling in desperate search for that sweetspot deep inside you- and when he finds it, your back arches even further off the bed as you squeal. he chuckles against you- sending vibrations through your entire body starting at your core.
"found it" you feel tears well up in your eyes, and Jake decides to scrape his teeth gently against your clit- making you hiss at the odd feeling.
"god you're so fucking beautiful, my perfect little angel" his finger repeatedly kisses your cherry-sweet spot, the pleasure overriding your senses as you grab his hair and grind into his face.
"j-jake please.." you have no idea why your begging, but the sound of you moan his name as you come undone in the palm of his hand makes jakes cock rock hard- straining against his jeans and he swears he could come just by eating you out.
his grip on your thigh tightens, his tongue concentrated on your puffy, swollen clit.
an unfamiliar feeling forms in the pit of your stomach, and you begin to feel hot and uncomfortable.
"j-jake i.. feel weird hmm, pl-plea-se" your moans pick up volume and your legs attempt to close around his head, but the grip he has on your thighs is strong and unmoving.
"doing such a good job for me sweet girl, wanna cum angel?" you shake your head frantically, the wave of your orgasm beginning to crash down on you.
"y-yes please" you answer, making Jake pout his lips into you.
"such a good girl, you can cum baby, I got you sweetheart im here" you fall into this hands as the coil in your tummy begins to unravel, your hands come to cover your eyes and your legs begin to shake.
your moans turn into high-pitched mewls and cries
"oh my god Jake!" one of your hands comes down to your side in order to reach for your boyfriend, and he just about breaks down.
you're reaching for him.
you want to hold his hand as eats you out, as you come all over him.
he unwraps his arm from your leg and instantly grips your hand in his, and that pushes you over the edge as your fluids squirt out of your pussy and all over his face- dripping down his chin to stain the sheets below.
Jake gawks at you, his mouth slack open and his eyes wide as you become a puddle
the realization of what just happened hits him;
you just fucking squirted for him.
"fuck- you're so perfect oh my god- such a good girl, pretty girl" as you begin to settle down, Jake pulls his fingers out of you and stands up before leaning down to face you.
he tucks a stray hair behind your ear as he kisses your forehead.
"you did such a good job for me baby doll, so pretty" he compliments.
"I-i was?" Jake nods his head and takes you into his arms.
"yes baby, the best"
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khioneee · 2 days ago
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tap out. pt ii.
a few years later, another tap-out ceremony arrives, but this time, the air feels different—heavier, somber. simon’s been gone for over a year, his deployment unexpectedly extended due to an incident overseas. you’d been told he couldn’t come home for a while, but that didn’t make the waiting any easier.
today, you stand among families who aren’t just here to tap out their loved ones but to say goodbye to those who didn’t make it home. tears stream down faces as loved ones gather around caskets, grieving the soldiers they’d lost. the sight fills you with a mix of dread and relief, knowing simon is still out there, waiting.
simon stands in formation, rigid as always, but he has a sense for you. before you even appear in his line of sight, he knows you’re near. but imagine his surprise when he catches a glimpse of you in his peripheral vision, a small bundle wrapped securely in your arms.
his heart hammers in his chest, quickening as he realizes what this means. his breath catches, his eyes fixed on you as you approach. you look up at him, your eyes sparkling, a knowing smile on your face as you watch the subtle changes in his expression—the slight twitch of his eyebrows, the way his breathing picks up as it dawns on him.
both of you had been trying for a baby before he left, and now, standing before him, you hold that precious life in your arms. it had been a struggle going through pregnancy without him, feeling his absence during every kick and every sleepless night. but seeing him now, looking more than ready to meet your child, all the pain fades away, replaced by a joy so profound it fills every inch of you.
‘daddy’s home,’ you whisper softly, tilting the blanket so simon can see her tiny face, fast asleep, a perfect mirror of him in miniature. she’s got his nose, his quiet strength already etched into her tiny features.
with tears in your eyes, you reach up, your hand finding his cheek, tapping him out in the gentlest of touches.
the moment your hand connects, simon moves, breaking formation as he pulls both of you into his arms, holding you close as if he’ll never let go. his voice is thick with emotion, barely a whisper as he murmurs, ‘my loves.’
you knew your husband had a reputation in the military—a man as cold and unyielding as steel, a fortress no one could break. but as he held you and your newborn in his arms, that carefully built facade cracked, revealing a vulnerable side of him that only you ever saw. the tough soldier was gone, replaced by a man whose heart lay entirely with his family.
‘do you want to hold her?’ you ask softly, watching his eyes light up with a blend of surprise and joy.
‘her?’ he whispers, voice catching on the single word, as if it’s almost too much for him to believe.
you nod, smiling through a haze of happy tears. ‘her.’
with slow, reverent movements, you pass your daughter to him, watching as she looks impossibly tiny cradled in his strong arms. simon looks down at her with a mixture of wonder and fierce protectiveness, as though he’s already memorizing every detail of her face.
as if sensing her father’s gaze, the baby yawns, a soft little sound that makes simon’s eyes shine with awe. you catch the faintest smile pulling at his lips, a rare, tender expression that he reserves only for moments like this.
he leans down, pressing his lips gently to her forehead. ‘never gonna let anything happen to you,’ he murmurs, voice thick with love and quiet promise.
while simon was lost in his quiet moment with your daughter, a loud shout cut through the air, breaking the peaceful silence.
‘is that our baby i see?!’
simon’s head snapped up, his expression immediately shifting to something harder. he turned to see soap grinning widely, practically bouncing with excitement. with a sigh, simon reached over and smacked the back of soap’s head, though his movements were careful not to jostle the sleeping baby in his arms.
‘there’s people grieving, you idiot,’ simon muttered, but soap only snickered, completely unfazed.
‘and what do you mean, ‘our’? she’s y/n’s and mine. you’re not part of this relationship, mate,’ simon added, his tone dripping with mock irritation.
but soap, undeterred, just ignored him and held out his hands, wiggling his fingers in a display of exaggerated excitement. ‘oh, come on! let me hold our child!’
simon groaned, looking down at you with a glance that seemed to ask, ‘do i really have to put up with this?’ but he couldn’t hide the tiniest hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as soap’s enthusiasm filled the air around you.
reluctantly, and with another sigh, simon finally leaned over, carefully passing your daughter to soap, though not without a low, ‘if you don’t keep her calm, you’re not holding her again.’
soap just grinned, taking her into his arms as if he’d won the lottery, cradling her gently and cooing softly.
soon after, the rest of task force 141 gathered around, drawn by the excitement, each member eager to catch a glimpse of the new addition to the family.
you and simon stood to the side, watching with cautious eyes as they took turns holding her, each one adopting a careful gentleness you wouldn’t have expected from hardened soldiers.
price held her with a proud grin, murmuring something about ‘training her to be the next captain,’ while gaz made her giggle softly with his gentle cooing. even the usually reserved roach softened as he held her, a rare smile tugging at his lips.
you glanced up at simon, watching his face as he stood beside you, arms crossed in a show of casual indifference.
but you knew him too well. beneath the mask of stoicism, there was something warmer, a subtle softness in his gaze as he watched his team—his family—sharing this moment with him. this gruff, unbreakable soldier, who had once thought he’d lost everything, had found a new family among them, one that shared in his joys and sorrows alike.
reaching over, you took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. he didn’t say anything, just gave your hand a quick squeeze in return, a quiet acknowledgment. but you could see it in his eyes, that gratitude for a family he never expected to find—a family that had now become part of yours.
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buckyalpine · 3 days ago
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I love Bucky loving his body. I love Bucky loved by the team. I love Bucky having his happy ending with a family. Imagine Bucky lounging around the sofa with his little baby girl tucked in his arm, her sweet face covered in frosting after smothering half of her cupcake onto her cheeks. The icing is bright red just like Tony's suit and it's his birthday party afterall, so everything is in full swing. Most of the cupcake is squished between her fingers, very little actually making it into her mouth but Bucky doesn't mind. He chuckles, watching her with heart eyes as she happily smears it onto his crisp white shirt, babbling and cooing, now sucking her thumb.
He is absolutely unbothered by this, all he sees is his happy little baby with her cheeky smile licking up all the frosting just like her mama. While Bucky couldn't care less about his shirt, a few others certainly did.
"Better get dunk that shirt into a bucket of tide pens Barnes" Clint snorted.
"Actually the quicker you get it off, the less likely it is to stain. Take it off now" Tony's voice went from fatherly advice to a seductive growl making Bucky's face twist in amusement, pink starting to color his cheeks.
"Yeah, give the little munchkin to y/n and take it off. Cause of the stain" Nat agreed, cocking an eyebrow. You giggled watching the scene unfold before you, your husband growing bashfully shy.
"Can't hurt punk" Steve shrugged and Bucky's eyes nearly popped out of his head until he realized his best friend had been nursing a rather large glass of Asgardian mead. Tipsy Steve was always a little bit of a pervert...
"I-
"For the stain"
"I think you just want me to take my shirt off" Bucky huffed while you grinned, giving his cheek a peck before taking your little princess in your arms.
"Can't blame them handsome, c'mon, show em' how lucky I am" you whisper and that sells it. Couldn't hurt and since they were all asking...
"Just take it off!" Nat howled with a wink, a bunch of whistles when Bucky sighed, indulging the team a little. He unbuttons his shirt and hands it off to a genuinely concerned Sam who would normally make sure the shirt got sent to the cleaners but this is too good so he throws it into a bucket of cold water and is back within seconds.
"Good God"
"Jesus"
"You look fuckin' good terminator"
"Alright, alright" Bucky holds his hands up, unable to stop the way his ears are bright red, shaking his head when you blow him a kiss making him blush more.
"Body shots!"
"What?"
"Yes"
Tony's eyes glimmer with excitement, and Bucky snorts, loving the way you egg him on, his daughter also squealing with excitement.
"Go on Sarge, y'know you look good"
He lies down on the bar table, surrounded by just the team, abs beautifully flexed as Nat pours a generous amount of some type of alcohol right on his belly button.
"When else will we get this lucky" She says with a playful smirk while Steve cracks his knuckles.
"Why are you cracking your knuckles, what the hell do you plan on-
"ME FIRST" He doesn't give anyone a chance, face planting himself into Bucky's tummy, his lips sealed, drinking every bit of the burning liquor with a satisfied hum.
"How much has he had to drink"
"Who cares, me next"
"I think you've licked enough of my husband"
"You get him all the time, don't be greedy"
"That cute little chubby ball of frosting and giggles is enough evidence you get him every which way, besides isn't there another one cooking, y'can't have any now git"
"Blink twice if you need help"
"Bro looks like an angel"
"Why aren't you blinking"
"Crafted by the heavens"
"You like this, don't you"
Bucky can't help but chuckle, surrounded by idiots. Drunk idiots. His wife. His baby girl. Another little one on the way. All who love him. Would protect him. Life was good.
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beloveds-embrace · 3 days ago
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noona. noon. any angsty thoughts to share for the duke au? 👁️ (i’m craving angst sorry)
Original post
I DO!! Angst version of the au would be if you weren’t welcomed at all. Sure, no one is being flat out rude to you, no one is actively sabotaging you and John doesn’t hit or force you into anything.
But it’s lonely.
The maids barely touch you, as if disgusted they have to help and tend to the woman their Duke needed to and not wanted to marry, and the butlers are the same. Especially the head butler Garrick. You still don’t know his first name and he doesn’t seem inclined to tell you.
During the dinner… nights with John, you’ve started noticing that your food isn’t quite as well done as his? Less decorated, occasionally burnt or not cooked well, but you don’t want to cause any trouble so you remain silent and John never asks why you seem to eat so little.
You do also meet Duke Riley, the man that John is said to have an incredibly close friendship with, something born during his time servicing the kingdom. You’ve heard so much about him, from bad to good, and you wonder how he actually is.
In the end, you wish you hadn’t met him, too. The humiliation of being flat-out ignored in your own home while he speaks amicably with John…
So yes. Life as Duchess Price isn’t a happy one, but you are just glad you aren’t physically hurting.
But you do find solace in the only kindness your parents had bothered to show you before they gave you away; your personal knight, König. He is the only one to not treat you as such. He is the only one you can confide in, feel just a little bit of happiness and friendship with even if you haven’t even seen his face yet.
“I’m so tired,” you whisper to him one night, under the blanket of the night sky. You’d thrown a simple shawl over your shoulders, and hadn’t questioned it when he fell in steps behind you, always a protective shadow. Today had been hard. You had also decided to no longer dine with John, not too excited about the lackluster food and the stilted conversations. Cold maids, lonely night… you ached for something more.
You take in a shuddering breath, wrapping the shawl tighter around yourself. Konig stands right beside the bench you are sitting on, a familiar and comforting sight and presence. But tonight, it’s not enough. “I’m so tired, König.” You repeat, your voice cracking.
König simply stares at you for a while; you are used to it, used to everything about him. The mask, the accent, the unyielding body that is always keeping you safe. The quiet congestions you have had, during the days you lock yourself away in your office to ignore the loneliness and sadness plaguing you.
You aren’t used to seeing König bend down in front of you, holding his hands out until you place them in his. Familiar pale eyes peer up at you. Proper etiquette doesn’t matter to you in this moment; who will chastise you for the lack of it when this entire duchy holds only the most basic form of respect for you?
Even if they did, you would not let go of König, your confidant. Your knight.
“…What do you need, mylady?”
After a silent moment, you take in a deep breath and look back at him. “…I want… someone who loves me enough to be kind towards me. I want someone who loves me.”
König nods his head. With bated breath, you watch silently as he brings your hands forward, under his mask, to kiss each knuckle on your hands.
“I am your knight, mylady. I am your sword, and your shield. I, too, can be your lover if that is what you want, mylady. Whatever you desire, it is my duty to provide.” König breathes out against your skin, eyes not once flicking away, words not once breaking. He is fully devoted in his decision. “Will you allow me, mylady? The decision is your, always has been. I cannot take you away from this horrible place-“ not yet. “-but I can give you my love and devotion, just as I’ve always done. Will you allow me, mylady?”
And after everything you’ve been through, all the pain and loneliness and exclusion- you can’t say no.
“…Yes, König.”
(By the time John begins to realize that he may have misjudged you, once you find out the truth, it is already far too late for mending any bridges. There is no particular feeling when you look at him, or any of his men. You only ask that no one bothers your time alone with your shadow, your knight. It’s far too late for anything.)
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rafeswhre · 2 days ago
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orrrr rafe having to deal with a tipsy reader but lowkey being overwhelmed at the whole situation cuz she’s being so lovey dovey and clingy but they’re not dating? 😭
rafe cameron x fem!reader
warnings: mentions of alcohol, suggestive comments
a/n: this is my first time posting i’m so scared loll hope you like it, thanks for sending it🫶🏼 btw english isn’t my first language, let me know any mistakes.
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“I don’t know, Top!” You laughed loudly while talking to Topper, who, to be honest, wasn’t actually funny. It was probably just the number of drinks you’d already had.
“Girl, you’re tipsy!” Topper laughed at you while sipping from his whiskey glass.
“I’m not.” You rolled your eyes and tried to take another shot—at least, you tried.
“You’re done.” Rafe took the shot from your hand and moved it away from you. By the way, who knows where he had come from; you hadn’t seen him since the party started.
“What do you mean I’m done? I’m just starting.” You gave the guy in front of you a funny look.
“I mean you’re done, princess. Let’s go.” Rafe took your arm and started guiding you through the crowd.
“Baby, you’re soooo boring.” You pouted at him once you arrived in the parking lot.
“Baby?” He raised his eyebrows, looking at you.
“What’s wrong? You call me princess all the damn time, I don’t say shit to ya, big boy.” You rolled your eyes.
“Watch that mouth of yours.” He leaned back against his car.
“Why are you so grumpy all the time?” You slowly got closer to him, resting your hands on his shoulders and giving them a little squeeze.
Rafe looked closely at your hands moving down his arms. “I’m not grumpy all the time.”
“I’m not grumpy all the time.” You imitated him in a funny voice and burst out laughing before giving him a kiss on the cheek. “’Course you are.” You whispered in his ear.
Rafe cleared his throat and looked everywhere but at your eyes. “Come on, let’s get you home.” He tried to escape your little grip.
“I don’t wanna go home, Ray!” You pouted again. “Let’s stay here; we could have so much fun! More fun than we’d have in your car, let me tell ya.”
“Why are you so complicated?” He rolled his eyes.
“Why are you so boring?” You teased him, poking his arms. “Although I can think of ways to have fun in your car too.” You got close to him, giving him a significant look.
“Stop saying stuff like that.” He opened his eyes wide, feeling out of place.
“Are you freaking out, Rafey?” you asked, teasing.
“Don’t call me that.” He frowned.
“Why not? That’s what all your bitches call you.”
“No! Just- just get in the car, kay?” He opened the passenger door so you could get in.
“We adore a gentleman.” You said as you climbed into the car. He closed the door and walked around the car to get into the driver’s seat.
The atmosphere filled with an overwhelming silence; Rafe hadn’t even started the car. You felt a little guilty.
While it was true that you weren’t entirely sober, you weren’t drunk either. You knew what you were doing; it was just that the bit of alcohol had given you the confidence to tell him things you wouldn’t say when fully sober.
“Rafe?” you asked nervously.
“Mmh?” He didn’t even look at you.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable—I know we’re friends; I didn’t mean to make you feel bad��” Suddenly, you felt like the alcohol in your body had disappeared.
“Hey, hey.” He looked at you. “It’s alright, it’s not that, kay?” He buried his head in his hands.
“So? What is it?” You tilted your head to the side, confused.
He sighed. “You know, all your attitudes and shit.” He waved his hand in the air, trying to make you understand. “You’re getting all touchy and clingy.”
“Oh—” You looked away.
“No, no, hey.” He gently took your face and made you look at him. “Look at me, baby. It’s not a bad thing; it’s alright—it’s just—you’re kinda cold all the time. I’ve never seen you this way, it freaked me out.”
“You’ve never been with a tipsy girl?” You giggled.
“Nah, yeah, I have. I said I’ve never seen you this way. It’s different.” He turned on the car.
“What do you mean? Why would it be?”
He turned on the radio.
“Are you ignoring me, Rafe?”
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.” You frowned.
“Nah, I’m not.” He said while steering with one hand on the wheel.
You sighed and rolled your eyes.
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nezuscribe · 2 days ago
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life as a hit man was dirty but simple, and gojo preferred keeping it that way. he didn’t know his clients names, they didn’t know his. he’d send over proof of his work, they’d wire in the money. dirty, yet simple.
so when he gets a message to kill the daughter of some oil tycoon, he doesn’t think much about it. sure he thinks it’s cheap to go for the kid, but what does he know. this is the most he’s ever been offered for a one shot job, so he’s not an idiot to turn this offer down.
and unfortunately, that meant his next confirmed target was you.
he gets your information, where you go to school, what apartment building you live in, where you like to eat. usually he prefers a straight shot to the head, but sometimes sneaking in something to your food lets him off easier.
gojo gets to know your routine. what you do at what time. what shows you watch, what your favorite sweater is. he watches from the high rises that faces yours, crouching down so none of your bodyguards could see the reflection of the magnifier of his rifle.
and gojo is used to taking out a wide range of people. men, women, grandpas, aunts. it’s just business to him. but there’s something about you that makes him hesitate to pull the trigger.
maybe it’s the fact that the weeks he’s spent trailing after you he’s noticed you’re pretty much a loner. you keep to yourself, never bothering anyone. you don’t seem to have my friends in your classes, or even out of them. gojo never questions to morals of his clients or who they ask him to kill, but judging you so far you seem to have done…nothing wrong.
you treat the old lady who works in the convenience story with such kindness that gojo wonders if you were born into this level of wealth, because most people of your status treat those beneath them like ants. you always hold the door open for your body guards despite them insisting they do it for you. you always buy some food for the stray cats in the alley you pass, and you never yell when you’re on the phone with your dad, even though gojo tracks those calls and feels the need to yell for you.
it all comes to a moment when you’re at your favorite coffee shop (he knows this because you come here so often), and you’ve managed to weasel away from your bodyguards. he knows they must be freaking out by now, but you just want some alone time.
he’s right there, right behind you, the little pouch of his condition of drugs that instantly kill in his pocket ready, and you turn around with your coffee cup and bump into him.
your eyes seen, letting out a shocked gasp as the iced drink stains his shirt and pants, the cup not empty on the floor.
“oh my god, oh my god,” you stutter out, scrambling to find some napkins, “i’m so so sorry! i didn’t even see you there - gosh,” you shove some napkins into his hands, trying to dapple the coffee away but it does nothing to help, “i can’t believe…!” you trail off, the two of you moving out of line so you don’t hold the others up and your shaking your head in dismay, mad at your clumsiness.
“it’s alright,” he assures you, waving it off as his eyes take in your appearance. “don’t even worry about it, accidents happen.” it’s the first time he’s seen you this close, and he feels that pouch growing heavier in his pocket.
because you’re pretty. really pretty. and he likes the plush of your cheeks, the scrunch of your brows, the way you’re nearly gnawing your lip raw. you seem even prettier in person, and there’s a lump forming in his chest, something he’s never felt before.
“no, no,” you murmur, trying to find the tide pen in your bag, only to realize you left it at home, “and it’s stained too, fuck. i am so sorry about this, you probably have somewhere to be and…” your words trail off as you scramble for your wallet, pulling out some cash as you push it into his hands.
it’s more than he needs to replace the shirt and pants, probably enough to buy him a couple pairs from ralph lauren, but you still seem to think it’s not enough as you look for more.
“it’s no worries at all, i keep an extra of shirts in my car for emergencies like this,” gojo lies smoothly and you look up from your purse, eyes wide in shame. fuck he really likes your eyes too.
“no, please take it, it’ll be on my mind all day if you don’t,” you insist, but he’s shaking his head defiantly, a reassuring smile on his face as he hands the money back to you.
“and it’ll be on my conscience all day if i take it,” he promises you, and after you realize he’s not going to retract his hands you take the cash, shoving it back into your wallet as heat settles all over your body.
of course with your luck you spill coffee all over the most attractive man you’ve ever met.
you still look worried, finding another napkin as you take out a pen from your purse, messily writing something down.
“this is my contact information if you ever need me to replace your clothes,” you hand it over to the man with an apologetic smile, “please don’t hesitate to call me, i know stains and that’s gonna be really hard to get out,” you go to say something else but your eyes dart to the large windows behaubd him, catching sight of your body guards who seem to have seen you, and your face falls.
“i’m really sorry, again, but i have to go,” you mutter as you speed off, waving goodbyes to the stranger as you duck your head down and leave the coffee shop, not wanting to cause another scene as three buff men race in to find you.
gojo stands there almost in a haze, looking at his stained white shirt to the napkin with your number and name on it.
almost as if he didn’t already know it, almost as if you weren’t the girl he’s supposed to kill.
and in that moment he realizes how screwed he is, because he’d rather down that packet right there than shoot you down, and he’s never felt this dread before.
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favefandomimagines · 2 days ago
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loml (r.c)
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SEASON 4 PART 2 SPOILERS!!!!
Request: @motherlanaenthusiast “So what if we do a Rafe x Maybank!reader where like maybe she was in morocco but she wasn’t with JJ when he died cuz she was doing smthn else so like they all have to break the news and that happens and then when like after when they’re back at Kildare Rafe like gets deja vu from s1&2 him because he sees reader going kinda crazy”
Summary: Rafe is the only person to save Y/N from a downward spiral.
AN: I will NEVER forgive the writers for this lol I went on a tangent with this one
The sun was blistering and casting a golden hue over the winding alleyways in Morocco. Rafe Cameron and Y/N Maybank moved through the maze of alleyways, their steps quick and purposeful, yet filled with a tension that spoke of something much deeper than their immediate surroundings.
Y/N was JJ Maybank’s twin sister, a spitfire with a wild heart who had once been the center of Rafe’s secret world. The two had shared a tumultuous fling, a secret affair that had started four years ago under the cover of darkness and ended just as abruptly. It was a relationship neither had ever fully acknowledged. Rafe was a Kook, while Y/N, like her brother JJ, was a Pogue, tale as old as time.
The shop was quiet, the group off to Charleston to follow the next clue. Y/N stayed behind to wait for her brother after he had wandered off “running errands.” The bell above the door jingled, and the soft sound broke through the silence.
Y/N was leaning against the counter, staring at her phone screen, scrolling through all the unread text messages to her brother.
"How can I help you?" she asked absently, not looking up from her phone.
She looked up and her breath got caught in her throat, the smile on Rafe Cameron's face grating against the air. He stood at the entrance, hands tucked casually in his pockets, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, keeping her tone even, though the familiar tension in her chest began to build. She’d never been able to shake the feeling of unease around him. Not since everything went down with Pope, the fight that ended whatever it was they had.
"Can't I just stop by and visit my local surf and bait shop?" Rafe said, taking a step inside, his eyes glinting mischievously.
Her eyes narrowed slightly. "You looking for Sarah?"
He shrugged nonchalantly. "Actually, yeah. I'm looking for Sarah."
She shook her head, setting the phone down with a soft click. "She doesn’t want to talk to you."
Rafe raised an eyebrow, the smirk still in place. "I think I can have a chat with my sister whenever I want."
"Not if she doesn't want to talk to you." Her words were firm, but there was a slight quiver in her voice that betrayed her more complicated feelings.
Rafe’s smirk didn’t falter as he took a few more steps forward, closing the distance between them. He placed his elbows on the counter, leaning in closer, the sudden proximity catching her off guard.
"I'm sorry about the drama at the beach the other day," he said, his voice lowering in an almost sincere tone. "With Ruthie and the turtles."
She didn’t respond right away, trying to keep her emotions in check. She could feel the weight of his words, but it didn’t change anything. Rafe was sorry—sorry for the mess he had created, maybe, but never for the things that had truly mattered.
"Don’t act like you care, Rafe," she replied, her voice steady despite the knot tightening in her stomach. "You only care about how things affect you. And I guess now Sofia."
He stared at her for a long moment, his gaze growing intense. The years of tension between them seemed to hang in the air, unresolved and unspoken. Then he said, his tone soft but firm, "We used to be so close, Y/N. What happened?"
She sucked in a breath, trying to push down the anger, the hurt, the past. "The drugs happened," she said slowly, her voice low. "Ward happened. Your anger happened."
His eyes darkened for a second, his jaw tightening. He opened his mouth to say something, but he closed it just as quickly. After a long, weighted silence, he took a half step back, his expression softening, just a little.
"I’m on your side, you know," he said quietly, the words almost a whisper, as though they were too important to rush. "I always have been."
The words hung between them, charged and heavy with meaning. She didn’t know what to say to that. She hadn’t known what to say to Rafe since the day he’d walked away, leaving everything torn apart in his wake.
Before she could respond, Rafe straightened, brushing his hand across his forehead as if clearing his thoughts. He turned toward the door, his back to her now. "I’ll be seeing you around," he muttered over his shoulder, the door swinging open as he left without another word.
Now, as they weaved through the ancient Moroccan city, they were older, scarred by the years of treasure hunts, betrayals, and broken friendships.
“Something doesn’t feel right,” Y/N said, stopping suddenly, her dark eyes scanning the shadowed alleyways. She had always been the one with the sixth sense, the one who could feel trouble like a storm on the horizon.
Rafe turned to her, his brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
But before she could answer, they heard Kiara’s voice, shrill and desperate, cutting through the noise of the bustling market.
“Y/N! John B! Pope!”
Y/N’s heart seized in her chest, and without another word, she took off in the direction of Kiara's cries, Rafe hot on her heels. They rounded a corner and found Kiara kneeling on the cobblestones, her face pale and streaked with tears. And lying there, motionless, was JJ.
“No, no, no,” Y/N whispered, her voice breaking as she fell to her knees beside her brother. Her hands trembled as she reached out to touch JJ’s face, his skin already growing cold under her fingertips.
“JJ, please,” she begged, her voice cracking, tears streaming down her face. “You can’t leave me. You promised.” She cried.
But there was no response, no flicker of life in those familiar blue eyes. It felt like the world had been ripped out from under her, like the ground had opened up to swallow her whole. Rafe stood behind her, his face pale, his fists clenched at his sides.
The group stood stunned, no one wanting to be the one to move. But they were in a busy, bustling city with a dead body. People would ask questions. “W-We have to get him out of here.” John B stammered. He moved to reach for Y/N, attempting to pry her off of her brother’s body.
Y/N fought against him, muttering things like ‘I’m not leaving him’ or ‘he can’t be alone.’ Rafe takes over for John B and has to use his strength to pull her up to her feet. He held her in his arms, close to his chest to avoid having to see her two best friends moving her brother.
At that moment, all he could really do was hold her.
||
Months had passed since that horrible day in Morocco, but for Y/N, time had ceased to exist. She was back in Kildare, but it was as if she was still stuck in that dark alleyway, kneeling beside her brother’s lifeless body.
Sarah Cameron was heavily pregnant, as she prepared for the birth of her first child with John B. It was supposed to be a time of joy and new beginnings, but the shadow of JJ’s death loomed over them all.
Y/N had fallen into a downward spiral, her grief consuming her. She drank herself into oblivion every night, stumbling through the streets of Kildare like a ghost. She would disappear for days, only to be found passed out on the beach or in the hammock outside her house. The Pogues tried to help her, but she pushed them all away, lost in her own pain.
Sarah had told Rafe about Y/N, how she was drowning in guilt for not being there when JJ had died. The words had hit Rafe like a punch to the gut, reminding him of his own spiral years ago, before his father had dragged him into the hunt for the Royal Merchant’s gold.
He couldn’t let that happen to Y/N. He wouldn’t. He loved her even if he couldn’t admit it.
So he found himself standing on the porch of the Maybank house, staring at the peeling paint on the front door. John B’s van was parked out front, and Rafe assumed he was there trying to talk some sense into Y/N.
A part of him thought ‘oh John B is here, I can come back later.’ But he couldn’t walk away, not this time.He’s walked away from her too many times.
He knocked, the sound echoing in the stillness of the early afternoon. John B opened the door, his face drawn and tired. “Sarah’s not here.” He told Rafe. “I’m not here for Sarah. I’m here for Y/N.” Rafe answered.
“She’s not doing well, man,” John B said, his voice low. “We don’t know what else to do. I think... I think she feels guilty for not being with JJ when it happened.”
Rafe nodded, his jaw tightening. “Let me talk to her.”
John B hesitated but finally stepped aside, letting Rafe through. The house was quiet, a stark contrast to the chaos that had always surrounded JJ.
Rafe walked down the hall to Y/N’s bedroom, the same room he used to sneak into all those years ago. All of the memories came flooding back as he stopped in front of the door. Nights that ended tangled up in her sheets. Other nights where she just wanted to be held after a fight with her dad.
Rafe pushed the door open to find her cocooned under the comforter, a bottle of vodka sitting on her nightstand.
“JB, please go away,” she mumbled, her voice raw and hoarse. Rafe assumed from a mixture of alcohol and crying.
“Not John B,” Rafe said softly.
Y/N stiffened, slowly emerging from under the covers, moving to sit up against her headboard. Her eyes were bloodshot, her face pale and gaunt. She looked like a shadow of the girl he once knew.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper.
“I’m worried about you,” Rafe said, moving to sit on the edge of the mattress.
“Apparently everyone is,” she muttered, her eyes flicking away from him.
There was a heavy silence, the kind that was filled with all the things they had left unsaid for so many years. Rafe took a deep breath, trying to find the right words.
“Y/N... I know what it’s like to lose yourself,” he began, his voice steady. “I know what it’s like to drown. I was there once, you know that. Hell, I’m still trying to crawl my way out.”
She looked at him, her eyes filling with tears. “He was always afraid to be alone, and I left him alone,” she choked out. “I should have been there. I should have protected him.”
Rafe’s heart broke at the raw pain in her voice. “You can’t blame yourself for what happened, Y/N. JJ wouldn’t want that.”
“How would you know?” she snapped, her voice rising. “You never cared about him. About me.”
The words were like a slap in the face, but Rafe took it, knowing she was lashing out from a place of deep hurt. “You’re right,” he said quietly. “I didn’t care about JJ, and I pushed everyone away. But I always cared about you. And I don’t want to lose you to this, Y/N. I can’t.”
“I’m not your responsibility, Rafe.” Y/N muttered. “No but you’re the person I love.” Rafe replied. “You can’t say things like that.” She practically snapped. “Why not? You used to beg me to tell you how I felt and I finally am. I’m sorry it came so late and it’s happening because of this but I’ll be damned if another person I love gets hurt because I didn’t do anything to stop it.” Rafe told her.
She stared at him, the anger draining from her eyes, leaving only exhaustion. “I don’t know how to come back from this,” she whispered.
“Let me help you,” Rafe said, his voice breaking. “Please. Let me be there for you. You don’t have to do this alone.”
There was a long pause, and then, almost imperceptibly, she nodded. It was a small gesture, but it was enough.
“I’ll try,” she said, her voice trembling. “I’ll try to get better.”
“And I’ll be here,” Rafe promised, reaching out to take her hand. “Through it all. I’m not going anywhere.”
||
A year had passed since that day in Morocco. The sun was shining over the Outer Banks, the salty breeze carrying the sound of laughter and the distant crash of waves. The Pogues had gathered for a special occasion, a day of celebration and new beginnings.
Sarah and John B’s son, Jackson, was turning one today, and they were throwing a beach party in his honor. Y/N stood on the edge of the gathering, watching as Sarah bounced her son on her hip, his tiny hands reaching for the birthday cake.
Y/N was sober, clear-eyed, and for the first time in a long time, she felt like she could breathe again. She had fought her way out of the darkness with Rafe by her side, and though the pain of losing her brother would never fully fade, she was learning to live with it.
Rafe approached her, a soft smile on his lips. “You doing okay?” he asked, his voice gentle.
She nodded, turning to look at him. “Yeah, I think I am.”
He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. “I’m proud of you,” he whispered. “For everything.”
She leaned into him, letting the warmth of his embrace chase away the lingering shadows. “Thank you,” she said softly. “For not giving up on me.”
Rafe smiled down at her before she moved up on her toes and kissed him sweetly. “I love you, Rafe.” She spoke quietly. “I love you too.” He replied.
They stood there together, watching as their friends celebrated a new chapter of their lives, a chapter filled with hope and healing.
For the first time in a long time, Y/N believed that maybe, just maybe, everything was going to be okay.
517 notes · View notes
honeyhotteoks · 1 day ago
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across stardust - one (j.yh)
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summary: you and yunho have worked together for years, idol and makeup artist, but until today you've never touched him skin to skin. when the world tilts on its head from just a brush of his cheek, you realize he's so much more than a crush, he's your soulmate. one | two | three | four
note: please enjoy this truly self indulgent romance. will be four parts total, and i'll post each as soon as they are ready to go. happy comeback week, and i hope everyone enjoys this 💖
tags/warnings: idol!yunho, makeup artist!reader, fem!reader, soulmates au, soulmate identifying marks, soulmate tattoos, tattoed!reader, a lot of fluff and tenderness, love at first touch, shared feelings/emotions/physical sensations, anxiety/stress over what to do, reader's family isn't the best, kq is not the best company for the purposes of this fic!, light smut including - heavy makeouts/grinding, hand kink, size kink, phone sex, sexting, fingering, jacking off, dirty talk, praise, use of good girl, use of pet names like baby/jagiya/sweetheart. basically this fic is an excuse for me to write star-crossed desperate love so i would say it's the literal opposite of a slow burn lmao
pairings: yunho x reader
genre: fantasy, romance, smut || soulmates au
word count: 17.9k
It’s eleven in the morning when your day starts, hiding in the green room of a concert venue in Berlin, and the day feels lost already. With Eunji and Dahan ill that only leaves you and Iseul to handle makeup for all eight members and with how exhausted you are from yet another night of little sleep, you don’t know how you’ll be able to keep up. You’re trying to stay awake, but while the members are all out on stage learning their marks and rehearsing the improvisational moments for this tour stop, the green room is quiet and you keep nodding off. 
“Bad night?” Iseul’s voice startles you out of one of your dips into sleep and your body jerks up right. 
“Fuck,” You breathe, “hey,” 
“Here,” She pushes a bright can into your hands, an energy drink, “you need this.” 
“I need to be sedated,” You grumble, taking it from her, “the time difference is never this hard,” 
“Mm,” She shrugs, “it’s unpredictable,” 
“Yeah,” You sigh, “I guess.” 
The thumping music outside as they run through another track is starting to give you a migraine. You take a long sip of the drink and then leave the can on the table in front of you, choosing instead to hide your face in the sleeves of your sweatshirt and let out another long sigh. 
“Girl,” Iseul nudges you, “you look like shit. Your station looks like shit.” 
“Thank you?” 
“In thirty minutes we’re going to be busier than we’ve been since that Inkigayo stage for Answer,” She points out and you grimace at the reference. Back then it really was just a skeleton staff and one of the makeup artists quit on the spot, too stressed to continue the work and walking out in the middle of doing Yeosang’s foundation. 
What a mess those old days used to be. Nostalgia sometimes makes you forget how late those nights were and just how impossibly tired you had been. This feels too reminiscent of that for sure. 
Iseul taps your shoulder to get you to lift your face as she continues, “I know you’re tired, but I can’t do this shit on my own. I need you.” 
“Okay,” You breathe, scrubbing your hands over your face to jolt yourself awake as best you can, “you’re right, I’m sorry,” 
“Don’t be sorry,” She gives you a sympathetic smile, “I get it.” 
This tiredness feels different though, so deeply ingrained in your body. Something’s been keeping your adrenaline running like a long, drawn out anxiety attack and you can’t understand it. You’ve been on tour before, you’ve been on planes, you’ve had long days, and you’ve worked with this exact group for years. There’s nothing on paper that should be making you so anxious, but the threads of it are humming in the deep back of your brain even now. 
“Come on,” Iseul prompts again, pulling you to your feet, “let’s get you in gear.” 
“Right,” You take another long sip of your energy drink and pray it starts kicking in soon and that the effects won’t make you feel crazier, “let’s do this.” 
She helps you put your station together with ease and then pull yourself together. Within those precious thirty minutes of calm before the storm you’ve downed two cans of pure caffeine, assembled your station and strapped on your brush belt, and tried to make yourself some form of presentable by slicking your hair back into a smooth knot and adding a coat of lip balm. 
As always, the boys have used the ladder game to determine hair and makeup order which means those at the bottom of the list have more time to relax fresh-faced on the couches before getting poked and prodded and wrapped up like presents for thousands of screaming fans. With only you and Iseul available it’s about to be a race against the clock to get them ready. 
Their managers hustle them from the stage to the back rooms where the rest of the staff waits, and the members gather around you and Iseul and your makeshift makeup stations. 
“Alright,” Iseul says as the members quiet down, “we’re down some staff as you know,” 
They nod attentively and you trade a close lipped smile with Hongjoong. 
“We’re just going to do the best we can as quickly as we can,” She explains, looking down at their names on a slip of paper, “Wooyoung, Yeosang, Jongho, San,” she recites, “you’re with me in that order.” 
You run through the names on your slip, “Hongjoong, Seonghwa, Mingi, Yunho, that leaves you with me.” 
Iseul nods as you finish your words, “Please be ready to slot in when the person in front of you is finished, and then you can go directly to wardrobe for your soundcheck outfits,” 
“We’ve got it,” Hongjoong nods, “and if there’s anything you both need,” 
“We’ll be fine,” Iseul assures him, “but it’s definitely going to be cutting it close,” 
“We should get started,” You cut in, “if you’re ready?” 
Hongjoong jumps to your chair immediately and Wooyoung steps to Iseul’s, and before you know it you’re off. 
The room is alight with activity while you both work, only you don’t have a relaxed pace and only two members to perfect. You’re used to working with Wooyoung and Seonghwa, they’ve been your assigned members for as long as you’ve worked with Ateez, but when staff shortages or timing gets tight, it can be a bit of a free for all. 
You stay focused and execute each member’s makeup like a well rehearsed dance, and you do your best to ignore the buzzing anxiety in your veins. For a little while, you handle it like a professional. 
When Yunho finally settles into your chair, about a single second after Mingi leaves it, the exhaustion careens back into you sideways. It takes you a minute to prep your tools this time, and you’re pretty sure that without the artificial pick me up of the energy drinks you’d be passing out on the spot. 
You steady your hands against the vanity in front of you and take a deep breath, and when you look up you catch Yunho’s eyes in the mirror, a tiny crease of concern between his brows. 
“You okay?” He checks. 
You give him a smile, albeit a tired one, “The jet lag is really hitting this time,” you explain, “but I’m fine,” 
He looks sympathetic immediately, “Same for me, I feel like I’m barely sleeping,” 
“That’s not good,” You tell him as you prep your stainless steel palette, “you have a long night ahead,” 
“I’ll sleep tonight,” He says, “I’m sure,” 
“After dancing for three hours I’d hope so,” You smile and pick up your first set of tools before turning towards him. 
“Do you have anything you could take?” He asks, studying your face, “A sleep aid?” 
“I usually don’t like to,” You admit, “I always feel groggy the next day,” 
“And we have another show,” He finishes for you, his lips coming together in a thin line as he thinks. 
There’s nothing really for him to do, but it’s kind of him anyway to be so concerned. They always are, this rare group of eight idols who remember staff birthdays, bring coffee on the early morning schedules, and always, always take extra time to clean up after themselves so it’s not left to anyone else. 
You take a step closer towards him and glance over his bare face and then it occurs to you, “You know what’s funny?” 
“Hmm?” He tilts his face up to you. 
“I don’t think I’ve ever done your makeup before,” You smile, it’s a ridiculous thought. 
“No way,” He blinks, thinking back, “it’s been… forever, are you sure?” 
You nod, “You’re usually with Eunji,” you tell him, “and even when we’ve swapped around, I don’t think so. I think you’re the only member I’ve never done,” 
“Wow,” He laughs, eyes bright, “well, I guess there’s a first time for everything.” 
“Is there anything,” You start to ask him if there’s anything he prefers, anything special about his makeup that he gets done with Eunji that he asks for, but Iseul catches you idle as she pats foundation onto San’s forehead and answers for you. 
“His skin gets dry,” She jumps in, “don’t use too much powder,” 
Yunho grins, a laugh on his lips at the directness of her words. 
“And don’t use that oil,” Iseul adds, “that primer oil you like, he’ll break out by tomorrow,” 
“Thank you, Iseul,” Yunho says, and you watch San’s face as he stifles a chuckle. 
“Noted,” You smile, and you swap out two of the products in your hands before taking up your position by his side again. 
You’ve gotten used to working with idols, to working with Ateez and with Yunho specifically, and yet when you get this close a little flutter of nerves rocks through your belly. He’s handsome, and if you’re being honest he’s just your type. Maybe it’s the exhaustion, or this weird feeling in your chest that you’ve been dealing with all week, but for the first time in a long time you think about what it would be like to kiss his lips. 
“How do you want me?” He asks, breaking your thoughts, and you have to shake off the impending blush at the way his words make you feel. You have work to do, and you had gotten over your silly little crush on him years ago, you need to get a grip. 
You recover fairly smoothly though with a quick smile, “Right,” he’s never worked with you before, and he’s looking to you for direction, “head back a bit, please, and eyes closed,” 
“Alright,” He follows your instructions to the letter. 
“Okay,” You tell him, “primer first. Let me know if anything bothers you,” 
“Mhm,” He hums and stays relaxed. 
He has the loveliest eyelashes, that’s the thought that echoes through your brain as you start working on him, and you wish it never occurred to you at all because you keep glancing up at his closed eyes. He lets you work, he knows you’re exhausted so he doesn’t push you for conversation, and you’re strangely grateful. You know he’s chatty sometimes in the chair, an extrovert through and through and always keeping Eunji company or talking with the member beside him, but right now he keeps still and gives you respite on a hard day. 
You’re patting foundation into his skin with a large paddle brush when Iseul interrupts your thoughts, “Do you have that eggplant liner?” 
“Check my table,” You offer, but with how sluggish your brain is feeling there’s no way you remember a single thing on your station without looking.
“Mm,” She pivots around and pokes through the products and tools behind you, and you glance over as San opens his eyes to watch Iseul rifle through things. 
“Damn,” She mutters, “how much time do we have?” 
“Um,” You glance down at your watch, “twenty?” 
“Perfect,” She scoots behind you and disappears into the hall, no doubt to find your traveling makeup case and the liner. 
You sigh, chewing the inside of your lip at the idea that you only have twenty more minutes, but you really don’t want to rush and have his makeup melt off on-stage. 
“You’re fine,” San assures, his body angled towards you and Yunho now while he waits, “don’t worry about the clock,”
Yunho hums his agreement from below you, “Plenty of time,”
You refocus on Yunho’s skin and notice a long black and white hair from the paddle brush affixed to his cheek, mixed in with the foundation. You take the brush again, wiping off any excess foundation and checking to see if more fibers are loose, and then you work the brush against his cheek in an attempt to free the loose hair but it isn’t coming off easily. Every attempt you make just slides the hair into a different spot on his cheek and covers it with more foundation. 
“Um,” You usually don’t like to do this, but you might have to, “can I just…”
His eyes open but his expression stays smooth, “Can you?” 
“Sorry,” You shake your head, “do you mind if I touch you?” 
“You already are,” He smiles, a small, amused crease between his brows you’ll have to pat out momentarily. 
You tuck your brush away and gesture with your hand, “You just have a hair,” 
“Oh,” He laughs, “of course, yeah,” 
You’re just supposed to touch his cheek, brush away the hair with the pad of your finger and then get back to work, that’s all it is, so you’re completely unprepared for the feeling that rockets through your chest when your skin finally touches his. 
Yunho gasps softly as your fingers brush over his cheek, his eyes blowing wide and his expression blanking, and it’s the only indication you have that he feels something too. A tightness wrenches in your chest, like someone pressed something hot and hard directly into your breastbone and your stomach does a somersault. Your ears are ringing, and you’re pretty sure your heart is about to beat out of your chest now that it’s started up again. 
The tattoo on your chest feels warm beneath your blouse. 
“You,” Yunho manages, his voice shaky and you know for sure he felt it too. 
You rock back a step, “I don’t understand,” 
“Shit,” Someone else says, and then you realize that it’s San and you’re not alone with the only other person in the entire world, you’re in the middle of work in front of at least one other person and it’s only your existence that just got tilted on its axis. Yours and maybe Yunho’s. 
“Oh,” You glance to the side, taking in San’s wide eyed expression, “oh my God,” 
“I’m not insane, am I?” Yunho smiles, his focus entirely on you, and you think you might just pass out, “You felt that?” 
There’s a noise in the hall and San scrambles up to his feet, “Iseul,” he says heading for the door, “do you need help looking?” 
He’s covering for you both, but thoughts are slow to form and all you can manage is blinking at the man in your chair. 
“You did, right?” He asks again, eyes soft and hopeful, and then his fingers brush over the center of his chest. Squarely over his breastbone.
He’s yours. 
You want to reach out and yank up his shirt, check the tattoo over his heart to see if it’s the same looping knot shape as yours, but you don’t need to see it to know for sure. It’s him. 
San says something about forgetting the liner altogether, a little louder so you both know the room is going to get crowded again, and you shake your head to jolt yourself out of your paralyzed position. 
“You didn’t?” His hand falls. 
“I did,” You rush to correct, “I’m, I don’t know,” 
He nods, wetting his lips and shifting in his chair. He moves to reach for you, but reason and sense click back into place immediately and you realize that no matter what your tattoo feels like and no matter what this means, you’re at work and about to have a very private moment in a very public place if you’re not careful. 
You shake your head with a glance at his hand and jerk your head towards the door, “Later,” 
“Right,” He leans back from you, “of course, right,” 
Footsteps to your right draw your attention and Iseul is huffing, checking her own watch, “We’ll do brown,” 
“That’ll be fine,” San assures her, but his eyes are glued on the pair of you. 
Iseul moves to step around you again and realizes you’re just standing there, “What’s with you?” 
“Sorry,” You manage, blinking hard and refocusing, “I just got dizzy,” 
It’s not entirely a lie, given that you felt the entire earth shift under your feet thirty seconds ago and your life is completely changed. Dizzy is the least of how you’re feeling. 
Yunho’s expression shifts immediately, concern across his face, and he curls his fingers into his palms to keep himself from reaching out again, from being too familiar. 
“Oh,” Her eyebrows raise high, “do you need me to finish Yunho?”
“N-no,” You take a breath, “just give me one second,” 
“Are you sure you’re alright?” Yunho asks, and in the back of your brain you wonder if his voice has always sounded this good. 
“Here,” San cuts in smoothly, cracking the seal on a fresh water bottle and passing it over to you, “do you need to sit a minute?” 
San’s hand rests on your upper back between your shoulders as you take a long sip of water, the cold shocking your brain back to reality in exactly the way you need. 
“Thank you,” You tell him honestly, “I think I’m okay, just a headrush,” 
San nods, and when you refocus your eyes on Yunho, you almost laugh. His gaze is squarely on San’s hand where it sits on your back, and you watch the fast, silent exchange between the two men when San drops his hand and Yunho realizes his own reaction. He blushes, ears running red and he dips his head to avoid both your eyes. 
“Iseul,” San steps around you both and distracts your friend, “ready to wrap?” 
“Yeah,” She agrees, “let’s finish up. You’re sure you’re okay, y/n?” 
“Mhm,” You hardly trust your own voice, but you nod anyway, “I’m good now.” 
Yunho tilts his face back up as you step close, and the tension between you is so palpable and so familiar that you can hardly breathe. Your tattoo feels warm and heavy and something tells you that his does too, you can see it in the tenderness of his brown eyes. 
“Dizzy?” He asks quietly, keeping his words just for you. 
You shake your head, “No,”
“That’s good,” He murmurs, but he lets whatever words he wants to say rest on his tongue. 
Your tattoo throbs and you don’t dare touch his bare skin again. 
His makeup takes fifteen more minutes and his eyes don’t stray from your face the entire time. You barely finish on time, and wardrobe is standing by to get them into their first outfits of the night, so when you put the final touches on he’s already being pulled out of the chair before you have a chance to say anything. 
You want to corner him and ask him exactly when he’ll have time to talk later, but despite working together for the last few years, you and Yunho aren’t that close. You’re friendly, but you’re not familiar enough to casually ask what he’s doing later and not have it seem strange. While friendships between staff members and idols are not discouraged, even between the opposite sex, being overly familiar or suggestive would certainly leave a question in everyone’s minds, and you don’t want to draw attention to yourself that quickly. 
This is between you and Yunho, no one else. You don’t want an audience for this. 
So he goes, pulled away by wardrobe and his other members, fitted quickly into his Soundcheck outfit. He has his game face on, so do all the members, and you watch him disappear down the hall without a second glance back at you. 
You collapse into the couch and press your eyes closed, focusing on the singular feeling of heat and soreness from your chest.
A soulmate. 
The tattoo on your chest was one you barely looked at anymore, too focused on living your life to sit in the mirror and wonder about the person who would be your other half, the person that would slot into the gaps in your spirit with a simple brush of skin on skin. But now, it aches. It pulses to remind you that it’s real and that you’ve found him. 
Everything in your life is about to change. Has already changed.
On the couch you don’t sleep as much as you disassociate, still stunned, your buzzing brain filtering out everything Iseul says as she cleans up around you and preps both of your brush belts for touch ups. There’s such a small amount of time between Soundcheck and the concert that you barely get to process, you just exist, playing the moment you touched him over again and again in your mind. Despite how utterly changed you feel, the world is just continuing on around you like a regular day.
Once again, you and Yunho miss each other for every brief moment between Soundcheck and stage.
The shift happens in the wings, in the underbelly of the stage where you and the other staff members for hair, makeup, and wardrobe wait for any last minute quick fixes. The eight of them are almost ready, pumping themselves up between rows of technical equipment and stage scaffolding. 
There’s so much commotion around you and yet your eyes are drawn to him like a magnet, the feelings you once had for him coming back to you full force in a blurry torrent. 
He shifts, stretches, swallows hard, and then looks up directly into your eyes. There’s a question in them that you can’t read, but you manage to smile. 
His shoulders relax just a little. 
You raise your fist, giving him the gesture for ‘fighting’ and he returns it with a wide grin. 
“Alright,” Hongjoong’s voice cuts through, the final step of their pre-show ritual as the concert hall starts to roar, “huddle up.” 
The eight of them circle up with each other, one leg in and one out. 
“We’ve practiced hard,” Hongjoong starts, patting his members on the back, “let that practice pay off, and have fun out there,” 
“Okay!” San hypes them up, getting the tension high. 
“Let’s give it our all,” Hongjoong continues, a wide smile on his face, “fighting!”
They echo it back, and a tense feeling starts to roll in your gut. 
“Alright, one,” Hongjoong starts the count and you feel the tension in your own body rising, enough to make you take a soft step back from the group, “two,” 
On three they chorus it, moving their feet in a synchronized step,  “Eight makes one team! Fighting!” 
They break apart, clapping each other on the back, and your eyes meet Yunho’s for one more fast second before he’s jogging after the rest of the members and finding his mark on the stage risers. 
You feel the sensation of his eyes on you even after he’s gone. You have the length of four songs and their opening ments before members start swapping out on stage for makeup touch-ups and technical adjustments. The sound of the audience is intense, the start of the first song keying up, and you stumble back from your post to get a breath of air away from it all. 
There’s a bathroom along the hallway two doors down from the green room that’s meant for staff and you blissfully find it empty. With shaking hands you flip the lock and sink down into a crouch, your back braced against the wall as you breathe through the sudden wave of feelings filling your chest. 
Adrenaline, that’s what the bitter taste on your tongue is. 
Your heart is thumping, double time like you’re running a marathon, and then you realize it. You can feel him, even now with the bond between you unfulfilled you can feel his emotions coming to you like a wave. Adrenaline, anxiety, euphoria, exhaustion, it all roils through you and you brace your hands on the wall to get your composure back. 
They say the first time you feel your soulmate link it takes you by surprise, but this is an intensity you couldn’t have imagined. It’s all encompassing and honestly terrifying, and you’re struggling to understand which parts of you are you and which are him. You can’t conceive of how an accepted bond would make this feeling stronger when it already feels like your emotions and his are knit together so tightly. 
Anxiety strikes down the link and you realize it’s not stage fright, it’s for you. He can feel your panic and your fear just like you can feel every ounce of his performance and if you don’t get yourself in check you’re going to be distracting him even more than you already are. 
You yank yourself up off the floor and collapse against the sink, turning on the cold water tap and taking slow and steadying breaths. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Counting slowly, relaxing your body with every pulse of oxygen through your system. You hope he can feel it, but you have no idea how this all really works. You’ll have to call your sister when this is all said and done, find out what she felt when she met her wife, but right now in this bathroom in Berlin you have to do this by yourself. 
You hear the pulse of another song thrumming through the stadium as they keep performing, and you feel the thundering beat of his heart in your chest, but you breathe into it this time and try to keep yourself calm for his sake. You splash cold water on your face, keep breathing low and slow, and eventually you pull yourself back up to standing tall to look at yourself in the mirror. 
You look the same as you did a few hours ago, before him, but the warmth in your chest is still present and you wonder if that will ever go away or if that’s just a permanent part of the link. 
With shaky hands you unbutton your blouse and pull your bralette down in the center to reveal what you already know is there. Your breath catches in your throat at the sight. 
The tattoo nestled at the base of your sternum is the only one you were born with. Every other line of ink on your body was put there with intention, but this one you’ve had for as long as you can remember. The maedeup knot is small, but intricate, and until this moment it had always been colorless. Loops of black and gray twining together to make a rounded diamond, unbroken with no beginning or end to the threads. 
Now the ink has changed, a deep red against your skin that makes the knotted josephin soulmark look even more traditional, but the skin is slightly inflamed, tender to the touch as you brush your fingertips along it. It feels like a fresh mark, not something you’ve had since birth, but considering how it’s changed, maybe it is new. A soulmark shifting color is common, you know that, but it still stands out so starkly against your skin and your other black tattoos. You can’t look away from it. 
A pounding on the bathroom door makes you jump and you fix your shirt, covering the mark back up and buttoning it away. You wonder if Yunho’s mark is the exact same like other couples you know and if it too turned red, if it’s warm to the touch, if he felt you brush against your mark through the link. 
“y/n?” A voice comes through the door and you shut off the tap. 
“Coming!” You wipe the excess water on your hands onto your jeans and take one last, fast look to make sure your mark isn’t visible, before opening the bathroom door. 
Wonshik, one of their many managers, is waiting for you on the other side. His eyes narrow when he sees you, “Are you ill?” 
“No,” You assure him. 
“You’re sure?” He presses, “We can’t afford to lose any more staff or risk getting the members sick if you are,” 
“I know, Wonshik,” You nod, “I promise I’m just tired, jet-lagged. I was putting cold water on my face, that’s all. I’m not sick,” 
He exhales in relief, his expression softening, “Thank God,” he says, “I can only take so many surprises.” 
A little sickness is nothing compared to a staff member and an idol under a dating ban being soulmarked, but you hold your tongue. 
“They’re about to come off,” He says, “Iseul was looking for you, she seems like she might start climbing the walls if you don’t get back to help her,” 
“No, of course,” You start back towards the side stage entrance, “I lost track of time, but it won’t happen again,” 
“Make sure you sleep tonight,” He adds, following you closely, “no sleep means no immune system, and no immune system means sick.” 
“Don’t worry,” You promise, winding your way through the dark backstage, “you won’t lose me,” 
“I better not,” He sighs, and then Iseul comes into sight. 
“There you are!” She hisses low under her breath, “I was about to have a panic attack,” 
“I’m sorry, I’m here, I’m good,” In the commotion, your brain starts to ease into normalcy. You’re used to this pace, the speed of lightning fast makeup touch-ups and assisting wardrobe when things start to go awry with their quick changes. The audience feels none of this, they just see smooth change-outs on stage and cool idols in new clothes, but backstage is a wild flurry and it always puts you on an entirely different plane of focus. 
“Here we go,” A stage director starts, gathering everyone’s attention, “four minutes… starting…” 
The stage goes dark and in the venue a video starts to play to the crowd to fill the space between costume changes. You prep your hands, making sure your kit is ready to go and you see the wardrobe specialists out of the corner of your eye readying themselves to help facilitate the quick change. 
Suddenly they’re here, and the stage director interrupts once more, “Now, four minutes people, let’s go.” 
“Mingi,” He gets to you first and he crouches down to drop his face to your height, “stay still one second,” 
He says nothing, but he nods as you pat powder across his forehead and the bridge of his nose, checking him over for any other defects. He looks good and you nod, “Go, go,” 
Mingi peels off to the left of you and you hear the sound of fabric swishing as he and Wooyoung rip off the top layer of their outfits behind the privacy screens and trade garments with the wardrobe team. It’s a fast shuffle, but you stay focused on who’s in front of you. 
“Seonghwa,” You wave to him, pulling blotting tissues out of the pack on your belt, “here,” 
He knows this drill well, you’re used to working with him and you have a clean routine down. He blots the sweat off his brow himself and starts to unbutton his jacket while you shift focus to Yunho. 
For a split second you almost forget what happened earlier in the buzz of backstage, but the minute your eyes hold on his awareness floods you. 
“Hey,” You say, but there’s a time clock shout behind you and you beckon him down, “come here, let me fix things,”
He drops down to your height just like Mingi did and stays steady while you work, but his eyes flick up, “You’re okay?” 
“I’m good,” You nod, “don’t worry,” 
His expression clears a little and you guess you have your answer about the feeling of the link going both ways. 
Hongjoong clears his throat behind you both, “We’re short on time,” 
“Am I good?” Yunho checks. 
Your eyes flick over him fast, “Yep,” 
He’s out of your eyeline a split second later, and you’re grateful for the distraction of both Hongjoong and Seonghwa, otherwise you’re sure you’d dwell a little bit too long on the fact that Yunho’s half naked next to you, privacy screen or no. 
“One minute,” The stage director announces, “everyone’s doing great,” 
The boys are almost done, flying through the last of their zips and getting their hair smoothed down by that team as they finish. You put the last pat of powder on Seonghwa’s nose and give him a nod before he’s gone too, dropping his jacket as he goes and giving you all a quick flash of his bare back. 
You turn back towards the group as they prepare and your eyes zero in on Yunho again. His expression is serious, it’s his game face before he gets back out on stage, and you watch as he corrects the placement of his in-ears and ensures that his mic pack is secured. He runs through his pre-stage ritual and you can’t help but be a captive audience. 
“Good work,” The stage director says as Seonghwa rejoins the eight, fully dressed and ready for stage, “fifteen seconds for act two,” 
The crowd heats up again as the video starts to fade, and the members do their final checks. Yunho doesn’t look back at you once, his eyes forward and focused as he and the other members find their places on the rising platform that will take them back out to the main stage. 
You can see him a little though, in the low light in his white trousers and blue satin shirt. He lifts his hand, adjusting his microphone once again, and then as he drops it back to his side he lets his fingers skim over the familiar hollow of his chest. 
Your mark warms, you feel it as if it were your chest he brushed his fingers over, and your breath stops. 
The platform rises, the crowd roars, and your heart starts beating to a new rhythm. 
He really is yours. 
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It turns out that later means much later. 
You manage to get out of dinner with some of the other staff members, but that just leaves you anxious and alone in a hotel room trying and failing to eat room service. Iseul would be back soon to take up her place in the other bed, and you’re starting to realize that you don’t have Yunho’s number. 
Now that emotions are a little smoother, you can’t feel him. Or maybe you can, but it’s so faint that you’re not sure. All you know is that he’s definitely in the hotel, but that’s partially the solid feeling of your link with him and partially the YouTube live being broadcast from Seonghwa’s room where all of the members are. 
You put the live on and watch, feeling strangely disconnected from the men on screen. You’ve known them for years, but suddenly with this new truth everything feels foreign and confusing. 
You should call your sister, but it’s only six in the morning in Korea and even though this is an emergency of life altering and epic proportions, you can’t bring yourself to wake her on a Saturday. 
You try your best to eat the pasta you ordered and watch as the live eventually ends. Your phone dings and for a split second you think it will be him, but it’s just Iseul telling you she’s heading back to the hotel. 
A soft knock at the door makes your stomach lurch. 
You’re frozen. 
There’s another knock, a little firmer this time but then you feel the warm touch against your mark and you’re on your feet, your hand on the door handle before you can think. 
He looks tired, that’s your first thought. His face is bare again, and his eyes are rimmed in a little bit of red like he just removed the day’s stage makeup. Despite all that, he smiles when he sees you and sighs, leaning against the door frame, “You’re awake,” he says. 
“I waited,” You manage. 
He grimaces, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” his eyes flick behind you into the room and he swallows, “are you alone?” 
“Yes,” You nod, “but not for long, Iseul’s on her way,” 
He nods, “Come to my room?” 
“Are you sure?” Your eyes widen. 
“We need to talk,” He nods, “can you get away for a little while?” 
Iseul will probably expect you to be asleep, but you can’t let this go until morning. If you’re ever going to sleep you need to talk to him now. 
“I’ll think of something,” You tell him, “what room?” 
“2606,” He answers, reaching into his pockets and producing an envelope from the front desk, “take this,” 
He passes you one of his room keys and you nod, “I’ll be up in five minutes, but you should go,” 
“Okay,” He breathes and neither one of you makes a single move to step away from the door until a sound down the hallway pushes you into it. 
“2606,” You repeat and he nods, swiftly moving down the hall before anyone can see him standing at your door. 
You have no idea what you’re going to tell Iseul that would make sense, but you don’t care. You stack up your room service for collection, kick on a pair of slippers, and give yourself the fastest look in the mirror ever on your way out the door. You want to be gone before she gets back, the idea of facing her and lying ten times more difficult than an empty text. 
No problem - I can’t sleep, I’m just going to walk a bit. Don’t wait up.
You don’t stick around to see if she’ll believe it. 
You try to seem casual when walking to Yunho’s room, like it's yours. You don’t want anyone to give you a second glance and wonder where you’re going, so you keep your head up, smile at anyone you pass, and when his door comes into view you scan the card like it’s any other day. 
When the heavy door shuts behind you, you sigh. 
“God, finally,” His voice startles you, and you look up to see him pacing, “I’ve been going insane all day,” 
Your shoulders drop, you aren’t alone, “Me too,”
He runs a hand through his black hair and finally stops pacing, but doesn’t come any closer, “So, this is real?” 
“It feels pretty real,” 
“How did we never feel it?” He manages, “I’ve known you for years,” 
“We’ve never touched until today,” You tell him, and that has to be the reason, it’s the only thing that makes sense. You’ve been turning it over in your mind all night, and with the exception of bumping into him last week in the hall, it’s all been polite bows and waves. 
“How is that even possible,” He breathes, “team dinners? Holiday parties? Work?” 
“Skin to skin,” You murmur, “I think that’s what it was,” 
“I had no idea,” He swallows, gesturing in the negative space between your bodies, “I always liked you, but I thought it was just, you know, a crush,” 
“You what?” Your eyebrows raise. 
“Well,” He backtracks, “not like that, it’s not like I’ve been holding a candle.” 
Your face stays neutral, but he grimaces at his own words. 
“I’m fucking this up,” He takes a deep breath, “I’m sorry, I’m really nervous.” 
Your stomach warms, “Yunho, it’s okay, honestly,” 
“I just meant I’ve always liked you, I thought about asking you out when our contracts loosened up if you were still single.” He clarifies and then you watch his face blanch, “You are single, aren’t you?” 
“Yes,” You nod, “we don’t have to worry about that,” 
He nods and you see him searching for the next thing to say, the right thing. 
“Your mark,” You cut in, taking a few steps further into the room, “did it change?” 
“Completely,” He nods, “did yours?” 
“Yeah,” You wonder the right way to ask him if you can see. 
“Does it feel,” He starts.
“Warm?” 
“Yes,” He nods, “and tender?” 
“Like a fresh tattoo,” You take another step in. 
“I’ve never gotten a tattoo,” He confesses, “but I’ll take your word for it,” 
“Can I,” The words are stuck on your tongue, “maybe this is weird, but I mean, I guess we’re soulmates,” 
“You want to see it?” He surmises. 
“Only if you’re comfortable,” 
His lips quirk, “I’m comfortable,”
Heat twists in your gut and you wonder if he can feel that too. If he does he doesn’t say it, but you watch as he pulls the black t-shirt off over his head. 
You’ve never seen his chest. Any inch of his skin except for his neck and arms really, and you guess that was part of keeping his soulmark covered. Idols always do, even when they’re in the most inconvenient locations, there’s always makeup or flesh colored tape or editing to take care of it. The idea that someone could replicate it and try to fake a connection is far too real for someone famous. 
He drops his shirt onto the bed and pink tinges his cheeks as he gestures towards it, “Well,” 
Your mouth drops, it’s the exact same, down to the size and the placement and every little loop and you stumble forwards to get a better look, “Yunho,” 
“Yeah?” 
“Has yours always been red?” You reach out, your fingertips hovering just over it. 
He shakes his head, “Not before today,” 
“Mine’s the same,” You tell him, your eyes glued to his sternum, “just the same,” 
You know every centimeter of this tattoo. You’ve studied it a thousand times in the mirror, tracing over every curve with your eyes, trying to find the place where the cord starts and ends. He sucks in a sharp breath as your fingers brush gently along his mark, and you feel the ghost of the sensation against your own. 
“I can’t believe we never knew,” You murmur, sliding your finger along each rounded edge. 
“You feel that?” He asks, “Right?” 
You’re nodding and moving to tug off your sweater before you can even think it through. He starts to shake his head, to say that you don’t have to, but you’re already tossing the sweater next to his discarded shirt and tugging down the front band of your bralette so he can see the whole mark. 
His eyes flick over you fast, but with the matching mark in front of him he doesn’t focus on anything else, “It’s exactly the same,” 
“I know,” You reach for his hand, but the minute more of your skin connects with his you feel your chest throb and you drop it like it burns you. 
He winces, touching his chest again, “Is it supposed to hurt?” 
“In the beginning,” You nod, “I think?” 
“Does it always feel like that?” 
“I’m not sure,” You admit, “I was going to call my sister and ask, but it’s too early at home,” 
He smiles, “Your sister found her soulmate?” 
“In highschool,” You smile back, “they’ve been bonded together since they were eighteen,” 
“Older or younger?” He asks, and you realize just how little you know about each other despite how long you’ve worked alongside him. 
“Younger,” You say.  
“I have a little brother,” He replies, “but he’s still in school,” 
You nod, painfully aware that this is such a strange conversation to have with your shirts off just standing in the middle of a hotel room, but somehow it’s easier than any date you’ve ever had. 
Your eyes flick from his eyes to his mark and he reaches out a hand again, “Can I?” 
Your heart quickens and you nod. 
His fingertips graze over the edge of your mark, mimicking your touch from before, sliding along the edges of the tattoo. His eyes widen and you know he’s feeling the sensation in his own mark, a mirror image of each other. 
“This doesn’t hurt,” He observes, letting his fingers linger. 
“I think we have to get used to each other,” You remember that fact from somewhere, “the link has been dormant for a long time, I think it takes a minute to get used to having it,” 
“Makes sense,” He murmurs, his eyes still squarely on your mark, “I’ll be honest though, I still really want to touch you,” 
“Yeah?” Your voice is thready. 
His fingers fall away and he nods, “Don’t you?” 
“Yes,” You agree, painfully quickly. 
He swallows tightly and takes the smallest step forwards, before offering out his hand, palm up and waiting for you.
Your eyes flick from his face down to his outstretched hand, and you reach for him slowly. You let your fingertips skate over the skin of his palm, down each digit, ghost the pads of your fingertips together. It’s warm, sharp and dizzying even just to brush against each other. 
You wonder what more will feel like. 
“Can I try something?” He murmurs, his voice nearly a whisper even though you’re all alone. 
You nod. 
He wets his lips unconsciously and moves a little closer, your bodies now only inches apart. Anxiety, anticipation, thrill, it all runs through your gut like a whirling wind and you shiver at the torrent of his emotions, a grin breaking out over your face. 
His smile mirrors yours, “Your heart’s beating a mile a minute,” 
“You can feel that?” 
“Yeah,” He breathes, grin widening, “this is crazy,” 
You laugh, a little nervous, a little elated, and he finally reaches out his hands. 
He takes a steadying breath, and then his fingertips brush along your jaw. 
You suck in a sharp gasp at the sensation, electric and hot, the feeling rocketing through your entire body. You tilt your face up to his as he continues his gentle touches, your eyes watching him as he studies you. His plush lips are parted, brown eyes wide with awe as he grows a little bolder to brush over your cheeks, down your throat, and back up to your jawline. 
“Feel alright?” He murmurs. 
You nod into his touch and he starts to lift off but you reach for him, “Don’t stop,” 
Your hands land safely on his hips, still covered by his sweatpants and you watch him swallow again at the sudden contact, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. Warmth fills the bond, no doubt the first threads of his arousal, and you wonder if he can feel your own. If he can sense how much he’s affecting you with just his fingertips on your face. 
His hands settle back on your skin, this time smoothing across you with his palms, one hand cupping your cheek and the other sliding over your shoulder and down your bare back. 
You can barely breathe, the room so silent and around you, like the only thing in the universe that exists is the two of you orbiting each other, standing at the precipice of something so catastrophic and wonderful. 
Your hands adjust, resting on his taut abdomen as you move a little closer together, and his eyes flutter shut as he breathes through the sensation of your hands on him properly for the first time. 
“You’re so warm,” You murmur, your hands softly tracing his abdominal muscles, instinct guiding you to touch more of him, seek out every inch of him as you unconsciously make a map of his body in your mind. 
He hums pleasantly, eyes reopening, “So are you,” 
He feels so right, so essential under your touch. 
Yunho wets his lips softly with his tongue, and a nervous thrill passes through your belly. His eyes flick over you, the pad of his thumb sweeping a line over your lips. You suppress a needy sound, still trying to keep your head amidst the thrumming emotions and steady thumps of your heart. 
He doesn’t stop, just stroking your skin slowly, fingers on your back pressing just a little as he sighs. 
“Yunho,” You shiver. 
“Cold?” He gravitates a little closer. 
“N-no,” Your body is all but pressed flush against him now, and you have to lean your face up even more just to see him as he stands tall over you. 
“I…” He starts to say something but lets the words die off, like he’s thinking something through, but then he sighs, “forget it,” 
His lips are on yours. 
Yunho lifts you, wrapping his arms around your back and tugging you up into his embrace. You gasp against his mouth, finding his shoulders to hold onto as one of his arms bands around your lower back. 
The kiss is shattering, the world tilting once again, a new frequency humming between your two bodies. It’s hot, your skin buzzing from the contact, but the way you move together is fluid and easy. Your legs part naturally, settling around his hips and his free hand finds your plush thigh as he tugs you into place, slotting your bodies together like they were always meant to be. 
“I’m sorry,” He mumbles against your lips when he draws in a quick breath, but he doesn’t stop kissing you. His nose nuzzles against yours, and his lips part at the same moment yours do, tongues meeting in the space between your mouths to flick against each other. 
“Don’t,” You push closer to him, fingers knotting into the back of his hair as you kiss him back. 
He hums, the hand on your thigh sliding up to cup your ass and you shiver as his wide hand stretches across your backside, squeezing your pillowy flesh. 
A tiny whimper does leave you then, liquid heat spreading through your body, the combined sensation of both your arousals giving you a headrush. 
“So beautiful,” He sighs between kisses, “you’re so beautiful,” 
“Yunho,” Your voice is thready, his name a stretched out sound. 
He holds you close, nearly stumbling as he moves. You blink your eyes open just as he spins you both, pushing you up against the hotel wall and pinning you in place with the weight of his body.  You should slow things down, but nothing in your life has ever felt this good and you find yourself diving back to meet his kiss again. 
 His arm slides out from behind your back as he pushes closer, your body fully supported by the flat of the wall behind you and his hips under yours and one hand firmly anchored on your ass. With his arm free he cups your cheek, a pleased sound on his lips as he dips you back into the wall and deepens the kiss. 
Heat blooms through you, your kisses getting needier, artless and desperate just to get a little closer together. The kind of kissing that sounds as messy as it is, tiny pants and moans muffled between you, skin on skin, tongue on tongue. 
“God,” He shudders, his lips breaking away, but his eyes only flick over you for a second before he dives back in. This time his lips travel, hot kisses across your jaw and back to the hollow of your ear, down your throat as he holds you a little higher on the wall for the right access. 
You grip his shoulders with one hand and lock your fingers in his mess of black hair with the other, your head falling back against the wall. He pants against your throat, a soft groan as he kisses, and your stomach tightens pleasantly. 
“Y-Yunho,” You gasp, arousal rolling through you, and unconsciously you rock your hips, desperately seeking some kind of friction. 
He hums low in his throat, kissing back up your neck fast to get to your lips again and his hand slides off your cheek as he crowds you tighter, bracing himself against the wall above your head. His abdomen presses against your core, and even through layers of fabric you feel his heat. Hungrily, you roll your hips again and catch a little pressure, moaning in earnest against his mouth. 
Yunho makes a tight sound and then he breaks the kiss, his forehead pressing hard against yours as he takes in slow breaths, his body all but trembling with need as he holds you. 
“We need to slow down,” He manages. 
You can’t find words, not yet, but you nod against him. 
“You deserve better,” He says, “dates, presents,” 
You laugh softly, your hand in his hair softening from a grip to a gentle hold, carding through the long locks at the base of his neck, “I don’t need all that,”  
He smiles wide, brushing off your words, “Still,” He sighs, still recovering from the heated make out, “I think I have more self control than fulfilling our bond by fucking you into the wall,” 
Reality bleeds back in at that. Soulmarks were just that, indicator marks. A way to find your person amidst a sea of thousands, if not millions. All the shared sensation and emotion a precursor to something more permanent and binding, something only sealed together by sex. 
You lift your head up, and he leans back to mirror you. 
“I lost my head there,” You admit, warm blush in your cheeks, “I didn’t know it would feel like this,” 
He smiles, and you take in his expression. His hair is a mess, mussed and disheveled and his face is pink from his nose down to the dark, well-kissed curve of his lips. His bare chest is flushed bright pink and his eyes are bright and warm. You fight the urge to kiss him again. 
“Me either,” He shakes his head, “it’s incredible,” 
“Overwhelming,” You nod, exhaling softly. 
He makes a soft sound to agree and then starts to push back from the wall gingerly, letting you slowly unwrap your legs from his waist and ease down to the floor. 
He lets you go when you’re steady on your feet and clears his throat, adjusting the waistband of his sweatpants and running a hand through his tangled locks. He’s hard, that much is obvious from the distinct outline of his cock through the gray fabric, but you do your best to look away and not think about how thick and heavy it looked just from kissing you. 
“Jesus,” He adjusts his sweats again, “sorry,” 
“It’s fine,” You cup your own cheeks with cool fingers, “I promise you’re not the only one,” 
His eyes hold yours for a lengthy beat and then he swallows, taking a wide step back and nodding, “Right,” he shakes his head, “we’re supposed to be slowing down.��� 
“Slow,” You lean against the wall behind you, crossing your arms over your chest and trying to steady your thumping heart. 
“I’m going over here,” He grins and walks to the far wall by the door to the bathroom, leaning back and crossing his own arms, “we really should talk,” 
A pulse of anxiety flickers through you, and you realize just how quickly you went from his hotel room door to nearly falling into bed. He’s handsome, a kind man, your once upon a time crush, and certainly fated to be a good match for you, but that doesn’t mean you should throw out good sense and rush things. No matter how much your impulses were screaming at you to do just that.
You try to ignore the fact that there’s a bed between you, and you nod, “You’re right,” you finally say, “we barely know each other,” 
Yunho’s smile fades just a bit, “I wouldn’t say that,” 
“We’re coworkers,” The words tumble out, “I know what we’re both feeling, but,” 
His brow furrows as he thinks through your words and he shakes his head, “y/n,” he cuts you off, “do you believe in soulmates?” 
“Yes, of course,” Even if you hadn’t before, the way you’re feeling now would be enough to dispel any skeptic. 
He takes in a quick breath, the sound sharp as he draws it through his teeth and he cocks his head slightly to the side, “You’re scared,” he massages the top of his sternum with his fingers, and you recognize your own chest is tight with anxiety, “I can feel it, talk to me.” 
The instant vulnerability of the bond is startling, and you can feel your own expression crumble. It’s suddenly a bit like being an ant caught under a magnifying glass, too much sharp attention all at once and you swallow tightly, eyes flicking away from his tender gaze. 
“y/n,” He murmurs, “I’m not pushing for more, not tonight,” 
“Yeah,” Your voice is soft, too quiet for your own liking. Something about the way he sees you so clearly and so quickly makes you feel exposed, nervous and strangely childlike. 
“Hey,” He breaks through your little thought spiral, “look at me,”
You straighten up again, finding his eyes. 
“I’m just happy I found you,” He tells you, and you feel the truth of it in your gut, “we can figure everything else out together, and at our own pace, okay?” 
Relief spreads through you, the knot in your chest loosening, “Promise?” 
“Promise,” He nods, raising one hand with his pinky extended, “I just want us to try,” 
You nod, extending your own pinky to seal it, “Me too.” 
He smiles at that, “Barely know each other,” he scolds softly, “I’m offended.” 
“Oh yeah?” Tension bleeds out of your shoulders. 
“Mhm,” His expression is full of cheek, “I’m the one with a crush, remember? I notice things,” 
Your stomach flips pleasantly and your arms relax from their tight position crossed over your chest, “What things?” 
“Let’s see,” He starts, and for a brief moment you think maybe he’s bluffing, but the moment he starts you melt and he holds your gaze as he warmly recites all the little things he’s noticed about you over the years. 
“You only wear silver jewelry,” he notes first, nodding towards you. 
Your tight hands uncurl. 
“You have a ridiculous sweet tooth,” The more he talks the more he relaxes against the far wall, “and you start getting flushed after the second shot of soju, you really are a lightweight,” 
“You always pick a Big Bang song for karaoke, and you’re late to work every Monday,” He laughs a little at that and keeps going, “you don’t wear a lot of color but when you do it’s red. We’re both from Gwangju but you moved to Seoul when you were five,” 
Your heart starts to beat a little faster, warmth filling you again and you don’t know if it’s your affection or his anymore, but it hardly matters. 
“Um,” He takes a deep breath and glances away for a moment and then catches more threads from his memory, “you’re a Sagittarius, you’re a runner, and the last book I saw you reading was Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982. I bought it, but I haven’t had a chance to read it just yet,” 
“Yunho,” You find yourself smiling, a hand over your surprised lips. 
“I’m just saying,” He shrugs a little, “we aren’t strangers. I know this is scary and fast and going to change the rest of our lives,” 
Elation, pure joy, spills over unfettered from his side of your new emotional tether. 
“But I like you,” He confesses, “I have for a while, and this,” he brushes his fingers along his soulmark, “just changes the timeline.” 
He’s yours. 
You push off the wall, crossing the room and all but leap back into his embrace, your arms looping around his shoulders again as you push up on tiptoe to kiss his lips. 
“This is real,” You murmur. 
“Yes,” He cups your cheeks, nodding as he pecks your lips again. 
“You’re mine,” 
“Yes,” He grins. 
“Oh, this is crazy,” You laugh, forehead against his again. 
“We’ll go slow,” He assures you again, “we’ll figure it out together,” 
“Together,” You nod. 
He dips low once more, this kiss more tender, and he separates you both before things can heat up again. “Hmm,” He glances across the bed and makes a small face at the time displayed on the digital clock, “did you eat?” 
“I tried to,” You confess, “I was nervous,” 
“You need to eat,” He snaps up his black shirt from the bed and slips it back on, and your chest warms. It’s strangely domestic, strangely commonplace like you’ve been in this position a thousand times before. 
Yunho adjusts his shirt and then kisses your hair as he passes by you, padding over to the hotel microwave and searching through the assorted snacks and instant meals, “It’s too late for room service,” 
“I’m okay,” You pull your own sweater back on and sit on the edge of his bed. 
“y/n,” He glances back, a softly scolding tone. 
“Really, you need to sleep,” You offer. 
He dismisses that thought, “But I’m hungry, eat with me?” 
You concede, and while he starts whipping up two servings of ramen, you wonder if this is what he’s going to be like. It makes sense, he’s always been a caretaking kind of person, but having it so tenderly directed at you feels right. 
“When we get home,” He says as he pours in the spice packets, “I’ll take you somewhere nice,” 
“This is nice,” You smile. 
“y/n,” He sets the ramen on a side table and sits next to you, “this is cup noodle from a hotel microwave,”
“The company is nice,” You take the ramen happily though, and tuck into the warm meal.
“It is,”
“Mm, you know,” You slurp back some noodles and softly clear your throat, “you weren’t the only one with a crush,” 
He freezes, letting his noodles drop back into his cup, “What?” 
“I’ve always liked you,” Your own confession feels easier after his, “I put it aside since we work together, but I guess, I mean, what I’m trying to say is that we both felt it before the mark, you’re not alone in that.” 
 “I had no idea,” 
“I’m very professional,” You tease him lightly. 
He nudges you and tucks back into his noodles, “How long?” 
“Hmm,” You get more comfortable, crossing your legs and scooting back a little onto the mattress, “I thought you were cute when we first met,” 
“God,” He groans, “we were such kids,” 
You nod, swallowing another bite, “Mhm, you had that blonde hair,” 
He laughs. 
“I remember thinking, ‘that one’s trouble’,” You confess. 
“Me?” His eyebrows perk up, “I’m perfectly nice,” 
“Trouble as in you’re my type,” You roll your eyes, “but I don’t think the crush properly came until later. You’ve always made me laugh, and when I realized how I was feeling I just did my best to keep some distance,” 
He nods, face getting a little serious, “I know what you mean,” 
That knowledge leaves you both a little quiet. The late hour, the adrenaline come down, all of it barrels into you at the same moment as the next anxious thought. How in the world were you both going to navigate this with a contract as tight as theirs and the public eye always watching? 
“Yunho,” You murmur, the last of your noodles left to go cold as you sit with that thought, “Are we going to be able to figure this out?” 
“Figure what out?” He looks genuinely confused by your question, “Us?” 
“You’re an idol,” You nod towards him, “I’m staff,” 
He rests a hand on your knee, “We’ll be fine,” 
“Aren’t your contracts,” You trail off, letting him fill in the blanks. 
“They’re strict, yes,” He nods, “year seven,” 
Dating, romance, even the perception of it was more than discouraged by companies in this industry, their artists contractually obligated to be single and available and dedicated only to their fans. Five years would have been the industry standard to prevent any idol from being caught out with a partner, let alone a potential soulmarked one, but seven is excessive. 
You blanch, “That’s almost two years away,” 
“We will find a way,” He says, “we’re not the first people in the industry this has happened to,” 
“Really?” You perk up, “Who?” 
He falls short, “Well, I don’t know exactly, but it’s bound to have happened.” 
“And then ruined their careers,” You groan, flopping back flat on the mattress and covering your face with a hand, “which is why we’ve never heard of them,” 
Yunho laughs, earnestly laughs, and takes the half empty ramen cup out of your hand to discard, “Maybe, but for now, let’s just stay positive. Get to know eachother better,” 
You nod. 
“Nothing can change the fact that we found each other,” He points out, dropping down onto his side on the bed next to you, “and I’m okay with that.” 
“So we just lie to everyone?” You chew at the inside of your lip, staring up at the white ceiling. 
“Hey,” Yunho’s fingers tuck under your chin and draw your eyes to him, “I know you’re anxious,” 
You sigh, letting his softness calm you again. 
“I know,” He repeats, “I am too, but we don’t have to decide anything tonight. We’re both tired and it’s been an emotional day,” 
“Okay,” You nod, “okay, yes, you’re right,” 
His thumb strokes over your cheek again, and you watch him exhale and sink further into your touch, “Will you stay tonight?” 
That wakes you up. 
Your eyebrows raise, “Stay?” 
“Just to sleep,” He assures you, “I just… I don’t want to be without you yet,” 
“I need to get back before Iseul wakes up if we do that,” You note with a grimace. 
“What time?” He glances back to the clock. 
“Seven,” You say, “her alarm is set for seven-thirty,” 
“We can do that,” He grabs his phone off the side table and sets an alarm, “we’ll get up,” 
The pull between your bodies is so strong you’re fairly sure you would have stayed no matter the consequences, but you nod, “Then I’ll stay,” 
He grins and pushes himself off the bed, “I’ve got clothes, if you want to get comfortable,” 
“Sure,” you sit up and wait for him to find things in his still packed suitcase. 
“Um,” He pulls a pair of black sweatpants from the bag, “these should work, and if you get cold,” 
You smile as he grabs a gray hoodie and comes back to you. 
As you start to pull off your sweater again, he turns around and leaves his back to you, “Sorry,” 
“Thanks,” You chuckle, making short work of changing. You’re swimming in his clothes, but his sweatshirt smells like him and you just want to bury your face into it, “you can turn around now,” 
His shoulders relax as he turns back, and you watch his lips part as he takes you in. 
“What?” 
“You look cute,” He clears his throat, shrugging off his reaction. 
You smile and ease back onto the bed, “Oh, I get it,” you laugh, “is your guy brain on fire because I’m wearing your clothes? Is this some kind of… you won the competition, ownership thing?” 
He scoffs and rolls his eyes, kneeling on the bed to shuffle closer, “No competition when you’re literally fated for me,” 
“Right,” You let the word drag out on your tongue to tease him. 
“But I like taking care of you already, and now you’re warm and comfortable,” He collapses next to you onto the mattress with a sigh, “and I know I don’t own you, but you are mine, just like I’m yours now. I won’t apologize for liking you in my clothes or in my bed, for liking when you look like my girlfriend,” 
Warmth blooms in your cheeks and you duck your face into the sheets. 
“Now come get under the covers,” He maneuvers the duvet, “it’s late, you were dead on your feet today,” 
His voice is so warm and familiar, and you slide into the covers beside him. 
In bed you keep a little distance, and despite the number of times both of you say that you should go to sleep, your conversation is almost impossible to stop. Yunho holds your hand in the middle space of the mattress between your bodies, and in the dim lighting of the hotel room you whisper thought after thought back and forth. A million things coming to mind you need to tell each other so suddenly now that you’ve found each other. 
As you talk his fingers travel, restlessly stroking your skin, up and down your arm and tapping out patterns. When his palm slides back and forth over the sharp lines of the tattoos on your upper arm, and you feel the question slipping out of your lips and revealing more about yourself than you intended before you can catch it. 
“Your parents,” You blurt out, “will they be happy?” He’s spoken about them so much over the past hour that you can’t help but ask him that question point blank. 
“So happy,” He responds with ease, a laugh on his lips, “they always worried me being an idol meant I’d never be able to find the one and settle down, they’re going to love this story,” 
You smile at the easy way he calls you ‘the one’, but the question you really asked still remains unanswered and you exhale softly, “But,” you manage, “will they be happy with me?” 
Yunho stills, reaching across the bed to hook his finger under your chin and draw your eyes up to his again, “Very happy,” he says, “just like I am.” 
Your muscles relax, his words a soothing balm, and you adjust your position on the pillow beneath you, “Just checking,” 
“Mhm,” He studies your face, “jagi, why wouldn’t they be happy with you?” 
The endearment slips off his lips with ease, and a burst of warmth spreads through you. You’ve never needed pet names and softness like this from a partner, but from him it makes your heart quicken. 
The momentary elation fades though, and his question comes back into your mind. You take a deep breath, you owe it to him to tell him now, “My family won’t be happy,” 
“With me?” His eyebrows raise. 
“It’s me,” You shake your head, “my parents have difficult ideals, and I’ve never pleased them. It wouldn’t matter who you were, they… they’ll find a way to not be happy for me.”
His eyes soften, and his thumb strokes along your jaw, “I’m sorry,” 
“It is what it is,” 
“Are your parents soulmates?” He asks softly. 
You shake your head, “No, they don’t really believe in soulmarks,” 
You watch his eyes widen in surprise. 
“Unless,” You can’t stop yourself from rolling your eyes, “the match is ‘fortuitous’,” 
“For status?” He surmises. 
“Status, money,” You shrug, “connection. But I think I could marry the next president and they’d still find a way to be disappointed in me,” 
His jaw flexes tense for just a moment, before his expression smooths over again. 
“Anyway,” You clear the bad thoughts away as quickly as they came, “my sister and I never went along like they wanted, like my cousins and the rest of my family, so we are the great disappointments. It’s not… it’s fine, but, I guess you should know before we, you know,” 
He smiles, a bit of amusement in his expression that you can’t place, “Did you think having bad parents would scare me off?” 
“It could,” 
“No,” He slides a hand under your side and tugs you across the mattress to press a fast kiss to your lips, “it never could.” 
“But I’m,” You start, all the reasons why a partner might care ringing in your ears. 
“Beautiful?” He cuts you off, “Just my type? If it’s anything else I don’t want to hear you say it,” 
Your stomach flip flops hard and you push lightly against his chest to get him to stop. 
“The thing is,” He brushes your hair back from your cheek, “my parents are soulmates. I grew up in a house full of a lot of love, even when they were being strict and scolding us.” 
Your smile at his warm expression. 
“So I know they’ll love you,” He explains, “they know what this feels like, what it means. I have plenty of family for us both,” 
Your throat constricts, tears threatening for a moment. 
“Your sister, though,” He grounds you out of the bad thoughts without even thinking, “you two are close?” 
“Very,”
“I’d like to meet her,” He smiles. 
“You two would get along great, my sister and her wife both, actually,” 
Yunho nods, listening attentively, “Do they have kids?” 
“Not yet,” You groan, “but I’m dying to be an auntie,” 
His thumb drags a comforting line across your cheekbone, his expression warm and affectionate, “Cute,” 
You sink into the pillows, a yawn creeping up to your lips, “She’s going to lose her mind when I call her,”  
“Yeah?” 
“Mm,” You huff a laugh, “she thought that when I started working here I should have found an inconspicuous way to bump into all of you to test possible bonds. She’s going to be riding the ‘I told you so’ train.” 
“She’s funny,” He smirks. 
“Very,” You sigh, unconsciously cuddling into his warmth. 
“Has it been a while since you’ve seen her?” He asks softly, adjusting his arms around you so that you’re cradled against his chest with the pillows at your back. 
“Mhm,” You yawn again, the warmth of his body settling the last of the adrenaline inside you, “a while,” 
“Let’s find a day off after the tour,” He tucks the duvet around you. 
“Yeah?” Your eyes feel heavy. 
“Yeah,” He kisses your forehead. 
“Yunho,” You yawn again, dipping your forehead into his chest, “God, I’m so tired again,” 
“Mhm,” He yawns too, “me too, jagi,” 
You hum softly, fingers slipping under the edge of his shirt just to feel a little skin, “I like that,” you murmur, “I like you,” 
“I like you too,” He chuckles, “now go to sleep,” 
A piece of you wants to protest, wants more time cocooned in this day with him, but something about his body feels so right. After a week of sleeping poorly, your body tight and anxious and heart fluttering for no reason at all, when he touches you, your mind goes blissfully blank. 
Your muscles relax, your breath dropping low and soft in your chest. 
Nuzzled against his tattoo, you drift.
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You’re supposed to wake up to an alarm. Early enough that you could slip back into your hotel room and your own bed to yawn and stretch next to Iseul and make her believe you were there the whole night. That’s what was supposed to happen. 
Instead, you wake to the heavy sound of a hotel door and Seonghwa’s voice, Yunho jolting awake beside you. 
“Oh my god,” Seonghwa says for what sounds like the third time to your fuzzy sleep-addled brain, “oh my god?” 
“Hyung,” Yunho pushes himself up, his arms unwinding from around you, “hey, don’t freak out,” 
“Don’t freak out,” Seonghwa’s eyes blow wide, “are you fucking kidding me? Hongjoong is going to kill you,”
“You don’t understand,” Sleep is still heavy on him and he shakes his head to try to pull himself away. 
“I understand plenty,” Seonghwa counters, “how long have you been lying to us?” 
His reaction surprises you, and you ease yourself up to sit next to Yunho. You’re not sure what to say or not say, you don’t know what they’ve discussed in the past when it comes to dating and relationships, but by  Seonghwa’s outburst you can guess it’s honesty at a minimum. 
Yunho’s face falls, “No, it’s not that,” 
“I can tell you what it looks like,” Seonghwa lowers his voice to what amounts to a stage whisper. 
“Hyung,” Yunho rubs his eyes, running a hand through his mop of black hair. 
“It looks like you’ve been sneaking around,” He continues, “how long have you two been fucking?” 
“Hey,” Yunho’s voice sharpens, and his hand crosses your body to anchor on your opposite thigh. 
Seonghwa’s eyes track it and he shakes his head, “This is so stupid,” he steps back in surprise, “you’re both being so, incredibly stupid.” 
Yunho gives you a squeeze and opens his mouth to reply but Seonghwa keeps going. 
“Naive is what it is,” 
Irritation bubbles in your gut and you can’t stop yourself, “Seonghwa, will you shut up for one second?” 
He stops in his tracks, mouth falling open, “What?” 
“Can you please,” You hold his gaze, “please, just listen to Yunho for a minute before you jump to conclusions.” 
He shifts, taking a step back and crossing his arms, and then he looks to Yunho. 
Yunho finds your eyes quickly, silently asking, and you give him a nod. 
“Okay,” Yunho runs a hand through his hair again, “I’ll just say it.” 
Seonghwa waits, his expression completely neutral except for the irritated corner of his lips.
“y/n is my soulmate,” Yunho squeezes your thigh again and you slip your hand into his to twine your fingers together, “we didn’t know, but now we do.” 
Seonghwa’s brows go high, shock filling his features. 
“We’re not hiding,” You add, “we just… it’s just,” 
“How long?” Seonghwa manages. 
“Soundcheck yesterday,” Yunho says, “we haven’t known long enough to lie, hyung.” 
“You’re sure?” He looks between you both, and you know what he’s thinking. How could it be possible to know each other for years and not know. 
“We’re sure,” You answer confidently, calmly, “I swear,” 
“It’s real,” Yunho’s thumb strokes across knuckles, “it’s very real.” 
Seonghwa swallows, taking in the news and sinks back against the hotel dresser, “Well, fuck,” 
“Yeah,” Yunho laughs. 
“You were off timing yesterday,” Seonghwa points out, “and distracted,” 
“It wasn’t that bad,” Yunho grimaces. 
“No, but,” He shrugs, “I know you and you’re never off time.” 
“It wasn’t easy to focus on the show yesterday,” Yunho admits. 
“I’m sorry,” You nudge him with your shoulder, knowing a huge portion of that must have been the panic flooding his side of the link. 
He shakes his head, “There’s nothing to be sorry for,”
When you look back up, Seonghwa is smiling and he sighs, “Oh, you’ve both got it bad.” 
“Obviously,” You hide your face in your sweatshirt sleeve. 
“So, what’s the plan?” Seonghwa asks, “Because you can’t act like this around anyone else,” 
Your mouth feels dry. 
“We don’t know,” Yunho answers, “we have to figure that out, for now I think we just try to keep things normal.” 
Seonghwa nods and then leans forward, “Listen, I know you’re not asking for my advice,” 
You both wait. 
“But you're my brother,” Seonghwa says unequivocally, “so I’m going to give you some anyway.” 
Yunho nods. 
“You wear your heart on your sleeve,” Seonghwa points out, “and I’m sure it will be hard to act like acquaintances in front of everyone, but you have to do it, at least until you make a plan.” 
“Yeah,” Yunho’s cheeks are a little pink and he squeezes your hand. 
“No one fires the idol for things like this,” He reminds you both, “so for her sake, put it away for today.” 
“He’s right,” You nod, “today we go back to coworkers,” 
Yunho draws your clasped hands up and kisses your fingers, “Okay,” 
“You’re lucky I offered to check on you,” Seonghwa sighs heavily, “if any of the managers came in,” 
“Check on me?” Yunho perks up at that, “Hwa, why,” 
Things come into focus for you at that moment, how bright the hotel room is with sunlight, how well rested you really feel. You twist in the bed and look at the digital clock, “Oh no,” 
“You were late,” Seonghwa explains, “we figured you overslept, I offered to use the spare key to get you up.” 
“Fuck,” Yunho curses. 
You both slept straight through Yunho’s alarm. 
“Iseul is going to fucking kill me,” You roll out of bed, your hands breaking apart as you scramble for you phone, “what the hell am I going to tell her?” 
Your phone reads nine-thirty. In thirty minutes you’re supposed to be packed into a van and on the way to the venue and when you look at the collection of notifications your stomach churns. 
Three calls from Iseul, and a lengthy string of text messages. 
Did you already get up and get ready?
Your work bag is still here…
Not funny, girl, where are you?
Did you make it back last night? 
Can you answer me?? 
I’m getting worried. I haven’t heard anything - You haven’t even read these? 
You better not be dead in a ditch, I’ll kill you myself. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Your hands are trembling as you tap out the fastest reply - Alive, be right there.
Yunho’s a whirlwind behind you, stripping out of his sleep clothes and yanking on whatever outfit is at the top of his suitcase, “It’s fine, it’s going to be fine,” 
“Sure,” You search the floor for your jeans and dart into the bathroom, “my best friend is going to murder me though,” 
You change at lightning speed, swapping his sweats for your jeans and then tying up your hair into a messy bun before pushing back out into the main room. 
“Everyone’s downstairs,” Seonghwa offers, “you shouldn’t run into anyone on the way back to your room.” 
“Good, okay, good,” Your heart is pounding, “where’s my room key?” 
“Here,” Yunho darts forwards and finds the little envelope, passing it to you, “take a breath,” 
“I have to go,” You manage, “I have to think of something,” 
“Don’t kiss and tell,” Seonghwa offers and he’s being funny but it’s vaguely helpful. 
“Wait,” Yunho grabs your hand and tugs you back, snapping your phone out of your hand. 
“Yunho, I don’t,” You start to say but he waves you off. 
He types fast, adding himself as a contact in Kakao Talk, “My number,” he explains. 
Seonghwa huffs a laugh. 
You take the phone back and tuck it into your pocket, “I’ll message you later,” 
“Good,” He dips forwards and presses one warm, tender kiss to your lips, “now get out of here,” 
You kiss him back, just once and fast, a little shred of self indulgence before you have to act like he’s just another guy, and then you’re darting out of the room, shouting back a thank you at Seonghwa as you go. 
You navigate the halls fast, and opt to take the stairs to get down one floor faster and more inconspicuously. You take a deep breath when you get to your hotel door, and then you dive. 
“So you are alive,” Iseul’s waiting, just like you thought she might be. She’s sitting on your still made bed, her phone in her hands and a tense expression on her face, “I was just about to tell the managers you were missing,” 
“I’m so sorry, seriously, I didn’t mean to worry you,” You take a few steps into the room. 
Her eyes flick over you, and you realize at the moment her eyes widen that you’re still wearing Yunho’s hoodie, your sweater still discarded on his bedroom floor. 
“You hooked up with someone?” Her voice spikes, “Are you kidding me?” 
Thankfully the hoodie is plain, just a heather gray with no identifying attributes that scream his name, but you’re still swimming in it and it’s clear you’re rumpled from bed. 
“Listen,” You hold up your hands, “I didn’t mean to not text you, I just fell asleep,” 
“With some guy?” She stands. 
“Yes,” You settle on some version of the truth. 
“Who?” She flounders, “We’re supposed to text each other,” 
And you always did, when either one of you went home with someone there was always a little preemptive safety report. A name, an address, a shared location, something so that you weren’t completely alone in the world with a strange guy. 
“I’m sorry,” You say again. 
She studies you, and it’s like she’s looking through you. 
“Oh my god,” Her eyes widen, “we know him.” 
“Iseul,” Your cheeks heat. 
She points at you, “I’m right!” 
“It’s not a big deal,” You skirt around her words. 
“The only reason you wouldn’t text me is if you were with someone we both know,” She narrows her eyes, “so give it up.” 
“I can’t,” You press, “leave it,” 
“Why are you being so weird?” 
“Iseul,” You sigh, avoiding her gaze, “I just woke up in a panic, and I have like fifteen minutes to get showered, can you give me the third degree later?” 
“I’m not letting this go,” 
“Yeah,” You pull off Yunho’s sweatshirt and head to the bathroom, “I know, but we have work.” 
“Work with a coworker you slept with,” She stands in the doorway while you start the shower, and you realize her tone isn’t so much as angry anymore but probing. 
“I didn’t sleep with him,” You groan, “well, I guess I did, but we didn’t have sex, okay?” 
“That’s awfully cozy for a one night stand,” She crosses her arms, “unless you’re seeing someone? Are you seeing someone?” 
“No,” You test the water heat and unbutton your jeans, “I swear I’ll explain another time, but can you just drop it for today? Or do you want to stand here and watch me shower?” 
“Fine,” She concedes, “you will tell me?” 
“I swear,” You nod, “I want to tell you, but I’m not ready yet, okay?” 
Her eyes soften up at that, “Are you okay?” 
“Yeah,” You nod, “but I’m having big feelings about it and I need to work it out,”
“Oh,” In all the years you’ve known her, she’s never seen you in love or even close, and she just blinks, “got it,” 
“Can I shower now?” You gesture towards the running water. 
“Yeah,” She steps back, “yeah, but I’m still mad you didn’t text me.” 
“Okay,” 
“And I’m still going to guess who it is,” She smirks. 
“Fine,” 
Her smile widens and she rolls her eyes, “I bet it’s one of the BB guys, isn’t it? You always like a dancer,” 
She turns the corner before she can watch you blushing harder, so nearly on the money with her guess, but you put it all out of your mind for now and focus on your day. You’re late, and it’s about to be another long one. You’ll have time for everything else later, if you can just keep your cool. 
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Work is bizarre to say the least. You and Yunho both do an excellent job of not looking at each other except for when he’s in your makeup chair, and you’re getting better and better at ignoring both San’s and Seonghwa’s nervous glances. 
This time you start the makeup early, less time pressure with the schedule adjustments, and the night goes off without a hitch. Soundcheck to stage to VIP benefits, it’s a whirlwind and you’re grateful for the distractions everywhere you look. 
You can still feel him, emotions from his side of the link ebbing and flowing throughout the day, but the sharp intensity of yesterday has dulled a bit after your night together. In quiet moments you find yourself thinking about his lips, or the way his hands held you as you tumbled into sleep, but you push it down and stay professional. 
As the show ends, Iseul ropes you into team dinner, desperate to observe who you interact with and how, still on her quest to find your mystery bed partner, but the boys aren’t there and so there’s nothing for her to really see. 
Later, with Iseul passed out from one too many shots of soju, you slip back into Yunho’s hoodie and cuddle into the warmth of your own bed. You need more sleep, you know that, but your brain isn’t cooperating. You toss and turn in the sheets, body feeling like a taut cord, and all you can think of is him. 
You miss him. 
It’s not even two days of having him in your life like this and you feel nervous and achy without him. There’s no way you’ll survive two years of this. 
Over an hour passes as you sigh, changing positions again and again, and then your phone finally buzzes. You scramble to see if it’s a message from him, nearly dropping your phone in the process. 
Can’t sleep? - He must be feeling your restlessness. 
Not at all - You reply, chest feeling warm at the contact. 
Little bubbles pop up immediately to indicate he’s typing and then another message pops on your screen - You’d think after last night we’d both be exhausted.
So you’re as awake as I am? 
Just can’t relax. I liked having you here last night. - He confesses. 
You roll over in the bedding onto your front and push the pillow under your chest before you keep texting - I liked it too. I’d come up except Iseul wouldn’t lay off guessing who I was with this morning. 
Oh? Did she guess correctly? - You can practically see the smirk on his face. 
Nope - You tease back. 
Was she upset? - He asks. 
At first, but I told her I would tell her soon I just needed some time - You reply. 
That’s good, honest. - His message makes you smile. 
How was Seonghwa? - You tap out. 
Fine…. stressing and acting like a hyung, you know - He says. 
You smile and type out another message - Is he keeping this to himself for now?
Yes - Yunho’s message comes in, and then another - For now, he knows we need to decide things first. 
That’s good - You send back. 
Things lull for a moment, and you try to think of something more to say, but Yunho swoops in with a question that makes you bite your lip to keep from laughing - Who did Iseul guess you were with? Was I even on the list?
I thought you’d be happy she didn’t guess - You reply. 
Bubbles appear immediately, then another message - I’m a little offended, I’m the obvious choice.
Why’s that? - You tease him. 
You feel something warm in your chest, and his next message flies back - I thought I was your type? 
You stifle another laugh - You are, she’s not very observant.
So who did she guess? 
Your belly flip flops and you hide your face in the pillow for a moment. His obvious jealousy, even just to tease you, is making your heart quicken and you can’t stop yourself from making it harder on him. 
You take a breath and reply - About half the BB crew and a few of your managers.
The replies don’t come for a moment, and you nervously refresh the chat. 
Finally a message comes in - I’m trying to think of something funny to say, but I’m actually just irrationally jealous. 
She was just teasing, no need to be jealous - You smile into your hand. 
Doesn’t matter - He says - Now I’m just here alone wondering which of our coworkers Iseul thinks you have chemistry with
He is jealous. You swallow hard, trying to ignore the swooping sensation in your belly and press your legs a little tighter together. If you close your eyes you can feel the echo of his hands on you from last night, and all you want in the world is for him to come down here and kiss you hard like that again. 
With a slow exhale you return to your phone - Don’t be jealous, Yunho. We both know I’m yours.
Yeah? - His reply comes after a beat - No need to be jealous then.
Exactly - You reply. 
I bet you like it a little though - His message flies in as yours sends.
You feel warm all over and you run a nervous hand through your hair before replying - No, I don’t. 
Jagi, you forget I can feel how worked up you’re getting. 
Your stomach clenches, drops and twists. He’s going to be the death of you and you’re still just flirting.  
You work up the courage and finally send your reply - You’re the one that pinned me to the wall last night. 
I’ve been thinking about that all day - The message reply is fast. 
You smile and bite your lip, snuggling further into the mattress and trying to ignore the growing pulse between your thighs - You did seem distracted during rehearsals.
You feel warmth in your chest, and you know exactly how much your flirting is affecting him. Another text pings through and you shiver when you read it - How could I not be distracted with you there? All I could think about was the way you said my name last night. 
Your thighs press together - Yunho?
Yes, jagi?
Or more whiny, was it? Yunho-ya? - You type it out fully, emphasizing the extended sound, knowing exactly what he wants to hear from the way he gripped you last night. 
The room is suddenly hot, and your heart beats faster to sync with his. 
It takes a moment for him to respond, bubbles popping up and then receding again and you wonder how he’s lying in bed. If he’s hard already, if he’s palming himself? You wonder if he sleeps naked when he’s alone and youre core clenches, arousal pooling in your gut and you know he can feel the threads of it. When he finally presses send on his message you have to cover your mouth to keep quiet. 
Feeling needy? Are you squirming around in that hotel bed wishing for me, sweetheart?
You feel that message from your top to your toes and you steal a fast glance at the bed next to you. Iseul is sound asleep, turned away from you and snoring softly, and you let out a relieved, shuddering breath. 
You could pump the brakes here, tease him and find a way to say goodnight, but you simply can’t. Need and arousal overwhelms you and you tap back your reply fast - I’ve been aching all day.
Do you have headphones? 
The question catches you off guard, but you write back - Yes, airpods.
Put them in - He says, and you swallow tightly, reaching for the little headphone case on your bedside table. 
Your fingers are shaking as you take them out of the case and put them in, making sure they’re connected before you reply - Done. 
His call lights up your phone, ringing in your headphones and you swipe to answer with a panicked glance at the bed next to you, but Iseul sleeps on, none the wiser. 
“y/n?” His voice is so rich and quiet, a little raspy edge after singing all night and you nearly moan. 
“Hi,” You whisper as soft as you can, “I can’t,” 
“Don’t talk,” He soothes you, “don’t wake Iseul up, I’ll talk to you and you can text me back, okay?” 
You minimize the call and open your chat back up, sending him a quick emoji to acknowledge his words. 
“Perfect,” He laughs softly, “this is way easier than texting. Listen, I know we said slow, but I’d love to help you relax if you want that. If not, I can just say goodnight, it’s up to you.” 
You exhale softly, a needy thrill in your gut - Let’s relax together. 
“Oh,” He sighs pleasantly, “yes, I’d love that.” 
You want me? - You ask. 
“You can feel how much I do,” He responds, “I’m sitting here convincing myself not to come downstairs and get my hands on you.” 
You hum softly, shifting in the sheets and relaxing deeper into the pillows. 
You hear his own breath, the way he parts his lips with a wet sound, “Can you tell me what position you’re in?” 
You tap out the reply - Lying on my front, on my stomach. 
“Hmm,” He sounds pleased, “I bet you look so cute, all twisted up in the sheets and blushing,” 
I was tossing and turning. 
“I bet you were,” He groans a little, “I tried everything. I hit the gym, cold shower, did some deep breathing, but you have me so keyed up I can’t sleep,” 
You send him another emoji, the blushing face. 
He laughs, the rumble of it too deep and warm in your ear with your headphones in. 
You tap out another message - What position are you in? Trying to picture it. 
You hear him shift around in the sheets, “I’m on my back,” 
Wearing? 
He chuckles, “Aren’t I supposed to be the one asking what you’re wearing?” 
I asked you first.
“Fair,” He shifts again, and you picture him restless on his back in the bed you shared the night before, “just boxers,” 
A heavy sigh passes through your lips. 
“And you?” 
You wish it were sexier all of a sudden, but that just wouldn’t be practical in a room with your friend so you tell him honestly - Pajamas, the button down kind, they’re gray. 
“God, you’re adorable,” The covers on his end shift again, “wish you were up here with me.” 
Me too 
“This is probably better,” He says though, “I don’t think I could hold myself back for another night.” 
Me either - You confess. 
“y/n,” His voice warms, low in his chest, “jagiya, can I help you? Can I tell you what I want you to do?” 
Your hands are shaking and you type the reply so fast there’s a typo that you have to fix - Pfease - Please.
He chuckles, “Alright, get comfortable, just listen to my voice, okay?” 
You message him one last thought - What about you?
“I’m… I’m, uh,” He lets out a shaky breath, “I’m already stroking for you,” 
You press your lips together to keep from making a sound, dropping your forehead to the pillow in front of you. 
That’s so hot - You text him quickly when you hear him say your name, probably a little nervous he came on too strong. 
He hums, “Good,” he says, “then don’t worry about me, just listen to my voice.” 
You set your phone to the side, snuggling into the mattress and the pillows just like he asked for, sparing one more glance at Iseul to confirm she’s still completely out of it. 
“Comfy?” He asks when you stop shifting around. 
“Mhm,” You murmur in a whisper. 
“Good,” He sighs, “now slip one of your hands under your cute little pajamas, between your thighs.” 
You slide your arm down, tucking it under your body and into your sleep pants. 
“Under your panties too,” He says, his voice a little husky. 
“Mhm,” You murmur again, following his words. 
“Tease a little for me,” He instructs you, “not too fast, just your fingertips on the outside,” 
You breathe low and slow, gently passing the pads of your fingers over your slit, just barely ghosting against the hard nub of your clit. 
“I bet you look so pretty right now,” He groans a little and you hear the sound of sheets, “you make the cutest faces when you’re feeling good,” 
You make the tiniest noise of acknowledgement, fingers still brushing your cunt. 
“Can’t wait to see you fall apart for real,” He confesses, a strain in his tone as he sighs, and you picture him. His long legs spread wide in the bed, stretching from corner to corner, his boxer briefs pushed down and his hand fisting his cock. 
You’re going to lose it when you finally get to touch him again. 
“You can touch now,” He murmurs, getting your attention back, “are you wet?” 
You push your fingers through your folds and sigh when you feel just how slick and swollen you are. With your other hand you find the phone nearby and tap out a quick message - So wet
“That’s good, that’s so good,” 
Your fingers start to circle on your oversensitive nub and there’s no way he won’t have you coming in five minutes or less with it feeling this good and his heavy breath in your ear. 
“R-rub your clit for me,” He pants and your eyes roll, you can hear the sounds of the sheets rhythmically swishing as he pumps his cock harder, “get your fingers nice and wet,” 
You whimper into the pillow, biting down hard on your cheek to keep yourself in check. 
“Oh, fuck,” He groans, “sound so pretty,” 
You rub harder, faster, your legs stretching wide under the downy comforter to give you better access. 
“Baby,” He gets your attention with that, “push two fingers inside yourself, imagine I’m there with you,” 
You shift, hand slipping lower and body arching to slide your middle and ring finger as deep as they’ll go. You stay mostly quiet this time, but your breathing is heavy and you’re sure he can hear it. 
“Close your eyes,” He murmurs, “picture my fingers,” 
You gasp softly. 
“Grind,” He tells you, “grind your pussy on my palm and feel my fingers fucking you,” 
You bite back a moan, only the slip of a soft sound into the microphone as you start to rock, rolling your hips and working your clit against your hand as you sink into his fantasy. You always took him for soft, the romantic type who’d blush at saying the word ‘pussy’ let alone talking you through what’s bound to be the headiest orgasm of your life, but you’ve never been so happy to be wrong. 
“Yes,” Yunho moans and you shudder, “I can hear you moving, you’re doing so good,” 
Pleasurable stars burst behind your eyes and you grind harder into your slick palm. 
“So good,” He groans and you hear him roll in the bedding, his voice changing to something lower and breathier, and then the rhythmic rock of sheets from his side of the phone tells you all you need to know. You can almost see it, Yunho braced on his forearms, hips thrusting to drive his cock in and out of his hot fist, his face buried in the pillow you slept on the night before. 
Heat melts through you, your body alight, and you grapple to find the phone again - Close
“Already?” He says in a flushed exhale, “You’re so hot, that’s so hot,” 
You need him to talk to you, you need him to tell you what to do, and you whimper into the bedding as you work your body faster up to the peak. 
“You gonna come for me?” He murmurs, “Yeah? Hmm?” 
You drop the phone and press a hand over your lips, stifling the threat of a real moan. 
“Let go,” His voice is so low in your ear you can practically feel the warmth of his breath on your skin, “come for me,” 
Your legs are trembling, knees digging into the mattress and sweat gathered on your brow, and you feel the pressure start to crack open inside you, “Coming,” you whimper into your fingers so he knows, and then it breaks. 
“God, good girl, yes,” He groans, “I’m coming with you, fuck,” 
Your body curls into itself as you release, locking up in pleasure as you feel wave after wave of heat. You bite down on your knuckle to keep from making a sound, silently falling apart, dimly aware somewhere in your gut that half the heat you felt was his, that part of that pleasure was his own. 
Yunho moans in your ear as you ride the sensations, panting and cursing and you can’t wait to feel him pulsing inside you while he sounds this good. 
You’re not sure how long it takes you to recover, but when your brain starts to connect again you realize you’re panting against the cool flat of the mattress and both your phone and pillow are nowhere to be found. You swallow hard and pop your head up, but Iseul hasn’t moved an inch and you thank god for her liberal use of melatonin while traveling. 
In your ear you register the sound of Yunho’s breath and the end of a sentence, “still there?” 
He must have been talking, and you try to focus in on the sound of him now as you slip your hand out from between your sticky thighs. 
He exhales slowly and you hear him shifting around, “y/n, baby, are you there?” 
 “Uh-huh,” You manage. 
“Sleepy?” He murmurs, misreading your sound, “That’s okay,” 
You make a tiny noise of protest and search the bed for your phone. 
“Baby?” He’s confused and you grin at his sleepy sated tone. 
Sliding off the bed onto nearly boneless legs, you find your pillow off to the side and your phone underneath. You snap it up and send a message quickly - Wait
“Wait?” He breathes, “Sure, I’m not going anywhere, I’m here,” 
You tiptoe to the bathroom as quietly as you can and then shut yourself behind the heavy door, flicking on the light and collapsing to sit on the closed toilet lid. 
You disconnect your earbuds and bring your phone to your ear, “Hey,” 
“Hey,” He murmurs, “you okay?” 
“Yeah,” You smile, still a little breathless, “Hiding in the bathroom for a sec so I could actually talk to you,” 
He hums, a quiet, lazy laugh, “Ah,” 
“Are you okay?” You find yourself asking, a little nervous tumble in your gut. 
“Me?” He says, “I’m incredible, you’re incredible,” 
“Yeah?” You draw your knees up, wrapping your arms around yourself and smiling into the phone. 
“That wasn’t too much, was it?” He checks, but you still hear the sound of him calling you ‘good girl’ and you shiver. 
“Not too much,” You sigh into the phone. 
“Good,” He hums, “I thought so, I was trying to pay attention to how you were feeling, but it was a little,”
“Hard to focus?” You offer and he laughs. 
“Yeah,” He sighs again, heavy and sated. 
“I can’t wait for this tour to be over,” You confess, “I just want to be with you,” 
You feel a pang in your chest and listen as Yunho rolls in the sheets, “I know, I want that too,” 
A little lump forms in your throat and you breathe through it, “Yunho,” 
“Yeah, baby?” 
“Have you ever felt like this before?” Your thundering heart has started to slow, and you let your eyes close as you murmur the question. 
“Never,” He murmurs, “but I felt this way before we touched,” 
You feel his tenderness wrap around your heart as if he were in the room with you, and with a small smile you whisper, “I thought you said you weren’t holding a candle?” 
“I lied,” He says softly, “it’s been you for a long time,” 
He doesn’t say it, not in so many words, but you feel the way he loves you through the link in a wave. It’s as good as any confession to you, just as honest if not more so. 
“I wish I could come upstairs,” You manage, tears pricking your eyes. 
You hear him swallow and breathe a slow breath through his nose, “Soon, I promise. We’re going to do this right,” 
“I know,” 
“Are your headphones still in?” He asks
“No, but I can switch back,” 
“Put them back in and go get back in bed,” He softly instructs, “it’s late, but I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep, okay?” 
“Okay,” You swap back over to your earbuds and adjust them. 
“Get back to bed,” You can hear the smile in his voice. 
“Yunho,” You interrupt him, “thank you for staying with me,” 
“Always,” He says, and for the first time in your life when someone says they’ll be there, you believe it. 
“I’m going back out,” Your voice drops to a whisper, “good night,” 
“Mhm,” He listens as you slip back into bed, “just get comfortable, just breathe. I’m right here with you, jagiya, I’ll be right here.” 
He murmurs to you softly until your mind is sinking into darkness, body finally unspooling and letting you drop off into sleep. It’s not the same as his arms around you, but it settles you more than any meditation, his voice a steady whisper through your dreams. 
In the morning when you wake the call is still connected and the first sound you hear is his slow breath and the steady beat of his heart.
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issysh3ll · 2 days ago
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Phases ♡ Matt Sturniolo
Phase 1 - Menstrual
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Summary: Matt looking after you on your period Warnings: Smut, period sex, blood, crying, soft dom! Matt, period pain, fluff, angst Wordcount: 1k
This is part 1 of a series. To find the other parts click here
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“I’ve got you” Matt soothes, his voice gentle as he slides his cock wetly in and out of you. The feel of his hard length gliding against your walls blends with the cacophony of sensations warring in your abdomen. His pace is slow and gentle, carefully edging himself inside your sensitive body. The warm liquid leaking from within you acts as lubricant, easily coating his length in a deep red.
The tight pull of your muscles cramping slowly eases as pleasure begins to flow through your body. Matt’s cock glides gently against your sweet spot with each slow thrust, his only goal being to ease the pain your body is experiencing. His hands caress over your hips softly, comforting you as he moves.
Your body had been aching with cramps all day and despite all the nice things Matt had done to try to help you, nothing had brought relief. Finally, Matt had timidly suggested sex as a remedy.  “I heard that it helps with cramps… I just- just wanna help you, hate seeing you in pain like this” He whispered, wiping a stray tear away from your cheek. 
Now those tears of pain have turned to tears of relief as you gaze up at your boyfriend. His hair falls in his eyes as he concentrates on moving gently in and out of you. His jaw hangs slack with small breathless moans and praises. The fact that he’s so eager to help you, trying so hard to make this just what your body needs, causes your heart to soar. A warm smile spreads over your face as you take in all that is him. 
Matt notices your smile and brings his hand to brush away that final tear rolling down your chin as he whispers, “feeling better, princess?”
You nod and turn your head into his touch, kissing his wrist as his hand cups your cheek, “Much better. Thank you, Matt”
A fond smile warms Matt’s face upon hearing the relief in your voice and feeling your body relax under him. His hands continue soothing across your skin, gently massaging into you in time with the slow movements of his hips.
Your eyes drop closed as the long awaited relief from your cramps washes through you, being replaced now with a gentle pleasure as Matt’s cock rubs against just the right spots inside of you. Your eyes flutter open again and you look up at your boyfriend, admiring the way his bottom lip is pulled between his teeth in concentration. The slow gentle pace Matt had set to allow you to adjust is now holding you back as you can feel your body yearning for more. Your hand wraps around his arm, squeezing him gently as you speak, “Matt… faster, need more.”
Matt nods, carefully thrusting his hips forward a little faster, his cock easily gliding between your walls with the added wetness of your blood coating him. His mouth drops open with a groan at the increased pace sending a new wave of pleasure through his body. “F-fuck, princess… so wet.” 
The change in pace sends new waves of pleasure through your body, the aches of your cramps long forgotten as your muscles begin to tense in a new, much better way. You feel the knot in your stomach forming, inching closer to snapping with each brush of Matt's tip against that sweet spot inside you. 
“Ah– Matt, m’close” you moan, wrapping your legs around his waist. Your mind begins to go blank as the pleasure Matt is bringing you fills every nerve in your body, leaving no room for your thoughts. 
A low groan pulls from matt’s throat and he quickly stutters out a warning, “f-fuck, m’cumming”. Your legs tighten around his waist, pulling him closer and deeper inside you just as his cock begins to twitch uncontrollably, painting your walls with his load. 
Your release follows closely, the feeling of your boyfriend twitching inside you being enough to push you over the edge. A loud cry leaves your lips and your legs tighten around Matt. Your hands grip the sheets and your back arches, your walls spasming around Matt’s cock.
Your body goes limp, your breath coming in deep pants as you try to catch your breath and gather yourself after the overwhelming pleasure. Matt collapses on top of you, placing a hand in your hair and panting heavily against your neck. As your mind slowly returns to your body you notice the calm in your abdomen where your pains had previously been and a relieved smile crawls over your face.
“Thank you, Matt. Feels better.”
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After a long while of just laying together, feeling the calm warmth of each other’s bodies Matt carefully sits up, pulling himself out of you slowly. A mixture of his warm cum and your period blood begin trickling out and onto the bed sheets. The clear reminder of your situation knocks you back to reality, the temporary bliss that Matt’s touch had brought you quickly dissipates and you feel the muscles in your uterus begin to tense again. 
“Matt, feels bad again” you groan dejectedly, flopping your head back down against the pillows in defeat. 
“I know, sweetheart. Let’s get you in the shower, yeah?” 
Matt’s frame disappears behind the door to your bathroom briefly, the sound of running water following a few seconds later. As Matt returns to your side, he gently loops one arm under your knees and the other around your shoulders. He pulls you tight to his chest, lifting you off the now blood stained sheets and carrying you to the bathroom. 
The warm water of the shower slowly washes away some of the tightness in your muscles as you lean against Matt. His hands move gently over your body, washing the remnants of blood, sweat and sex away from your skin. You stay there, under the warm water, in your boyfriend’s arms for a long while. The soft, loving embrace helps to ease your mind and relax the muscles in your body. 
“C’mon, princess… let’s get out” Matt eventually speaks up, pulling back slightly from your grip to hold his water wrinkled hands up to you. His brows furrow and he mutters, with far too much concern, “we’re gon’ turn into prunes…” 
Your lips turn up in a weak smile at his concern and you nod at him. Matt responds with a dumb grin before switching the water off. He steps out of the shower before you, quickly waddling over to the towel rack and holding the soft fabric open for you. 
As the warm towel wraps around you in Matt’s arms he leans down, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple and whispering, 
“how 'bout a movie and back massage now? I’ll warm up your heat pack for ya’...”
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retiredteabag · 3 days ago
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Wishful Thinking
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arranged marriage with nanami… a continuation
pt. 1 - pt. 2
〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰
The silence that permeates the car you were shuffled into with your husband is suffocating.
Your life partner had let go of your hand the moment he had reached to buckle you into your seat. You strain your fingers now, hoping the sweat on your palms hadn't been noticeable.
A driver from your clan's estate had been tasked with dropping you and your husband off at your newly arranged space. You knew this man, the man who was seated directly to your left, was not affiliated with any clan, this meant you had no idea where you were headed.
Several shipments of your belongings had been retrieved over the weeks since the higher-up's declaration of marriage for you had been in place. A steady and simple move-in awaited you. Something you weren't particularly happy about.
You thought through a list of things to occupy yourself with instead of awkwardly standing in this stranger mans presence.
As curious as you were about your future arrangements, you truly could not ignore the silence in this vehicle much longer. Had you married any of the expected bachelors, you were sure your ear would be talked off at this point, yet, you did not even know this mans name.
You took in a deep breath, preparing to speak, the blonde fellow, (your literal husband) turned to meet your eyes, likely having expected you to say something. His eyes shock you, and you turn away once more to stare out the window.
You strain your hand into a fist and work up the courage. Turning with an inhale once more, you force out words before you can change your mind, "Terribly sorry..." You start, looking him in the eyes, "Could you remind me of your name?"
You had never been given it to begin with. Perhaps the officiant at your wedding had recited it in his speech, but you had been a little distracted at the time.
"I'm sorry?" He strains his neck in your direction, eyebrows raised.
"Your name? Sorry... I think I ought to know it, right?"
"You don't know my name?" His head shakes a little as he speaks, incredulous.
You hesitate, "...No? I wasn't paying the most attention for it during the ceremony..." You mumble the last bit, waiting for him to cut you off, but he just stares at you.
"I'm sorry-" His hand hovers mid-air, "You weren't given my name?"
Oh no, you've offended him.
"Oh! It's not like that! My family is....very fond of you! And the higher-ups speak very well of you as well! I...well...I erm..." How do you fix this? Stroke his ego?
His hand is firmly on his forehead now. "That is not what I meant. I'm asking you - you were not informed of my name? Who I am? Were you even aware you were to be wed?"
You fumble a bit with the skirt of your dress, "Of course! Yes, I just... well, I didn't know who, but the marriage bit was no surprise."
"But the rest, that is all true? You had no idea you would be marrying me?" He looks frustrated, to say the least. You had no idea this would come as shocking news, someone should have informed you.
He is peeking at you through his hand, "Well...no, but-" He cuts you off now, but he seems to not be speaking to you.
"No wonder you looked so ill up there..."
Okay ouch.
"When did you agree to this marriage? Was this simply... decided for you?
You weren't sure what to say. Had this not been decided for him as well? Speaking frankly, you were not entirely sure of why he had been chosen as your partner, he had no duty to his name. Even so, he looked repulsed at the realization, eyes shot wide.
"Well... it was-" Were you supposed to be talking about this? Should you say this to your husband? "Umm... Well, I'm sure you know the higher-ups are involved with the clans..."
He shifted in his seat to face you fully now, "You...were forced?" He almost looks frighted at the concept. You want to laugh.
Of course, you were. How else did he think marriage worked?
Despite your thoughts, all you said was, "No, it was a mutual understanding that I would be married."
"Yet you know nothing about me." He looks forward at the road.
Was that what this was about? "I'm a quick learner, if you're concerned about that."
He sighs and smacks a hand to his face again. "No...No that is not what concerns me."
You have a litany of responses ranging from, 'I see...' to 'what does concern you then?' but you say none of them. You just sit forward and stare at your palms.
Oddly enough, it does not take long for the silence to be broken once more.
"Nanami." He says.
"I'm sorry?" You hadn't expected him to speak, eyes wide, you turn to him again.
"Nanami Kento. That's-" He sighs, as if it's a real chore to introduce himself, "my name is Nanami Kento."
You look to one another for a moment before you quickly break the connection, gazing out your window, deigning to not look again until you arrived.
"Mmm...thank you." You finally say.
--
Although you knew the house was not terribly far from your family estate, it felt like hours had passed before you allowed yourself to move once more.
Mr. Nanami had climbed from his seat once the car had halted.
Eager to be away from me it seems.
Only, he had seemed surprised as you climbed from your door as well, having walked around to greet you.
"Allow me," He had said, reaching for the small train case in the back of the car, it had been filled with small wedding gifts and your husband insisted on carrying it for you.
I wonder how long he will keep up this act. You found yourself thinking. Your new residence was sizable. Nice, in an uncomfortably clean way. Perhaps that is how your husband liked it.
As you stepped over the threshold, moving out of "the man of the house's" way. You took it in.
This place must have been chosen by the higher-ups. Your father would not have bought you a home, nor did you expect a man without clan connections to have been able to purchase such a plot of land.
It was only mid-afternoon. Yet your life was impossibly different than it had been only a few hours prior. You had expected the driver to stay and discuss the honeymoon with the two of you but it seemed he had not been instructed with that information.
As many frightening realizations occurred to you, you were able to resign yourself to acceptance, putting aside the...bedding...situation... the concern that stuck with you was dinner plans.
Were you expected to have that prepared? You didn't know what he preferred though....
Thoughts of your...marital duties swam in your head while Nanami was making his way towards the living room.
"Of course," He was saying, "You're free to use whatever you like, these things are as much yours as they are mine..." He had rounded through the sitting area and around the kitchen into the master bedroom, never once turning to look at you.
It was clear that people had come to prepare the area for you two. On his bedside table, you see a comfortable pair of plaid pajama pants and a loose grey shirt. You had not been presented with such. No, on the bed, strewn out for the both of you to see was a... sordid... set of black lacy lingerie.
You stood in silence. A resigned look on your face. Your husband on the other hand, had coughed, spun around, and fully walked from the room in moments.
What was he doing? Was he sickened by you? Did he expect you to appreciate his apprehension? If you were being honest, you would like for him to get this act over with as quickly as possible.
Looking at your marital bed, you were once again reminded of your mother's sobs only this morning. You looked down at the gown that clung to your waist. You had felt pretty today, despite the occasion. You knew you would not feel beautiful in that raunchy piece of string.
How long do I have? You wondered.
Finally moving yourself, you come before the undergarments, sit next to them, and run your hand along the bed's silky duvet.
You sat in silence for longer than you expected to be given. You finally reached your hand up your spine. Unzipping the dress, unbuttoning the clasp at your neck.
You slid it off your body. Walking around the room near-nude to lay the dress along the ladder of a bookcase. It was nice, actually. Maybe you wouldn't mind it here.
You did not rush to dress in the sexy, frilly, underthings. You might not have been perfectly comfortable in your body, but that didn't matter. Not when you had knowledge of the intentions behind your wedding for years.
It was a bit of a challenge to get it on. You weren't sure how to get your arms through at first, and then you swapped them around when you couldn't figure out the neck bit.
What did it matter, it would be coming off anyway.
After dressing, you sat in the same spot on the bed for a while, staring at your hands. You wondered if he was expecting to eat first. Seeing as he had left you alone, however, you figured he would return eventually.
It was cold like this, you hopped he would hurry.
Just as you were beginning to consider moving to look at the bookcase, (panty clad and all) your spine snapped into place when you heard him calling for you. When had you given him your name? You weren't sure.
He was speaking loudly so you might hear through the wall, but not in a frustrated manner, "The kitchen staff is arranging something for us to eat-" He had slowly began to open the door, when his eyes landed on you. Not a moment passed before he dropped whatever he had in his hands. It loudly clattered to the floor and he slammed the door shut. The noise echoed in the room.
"What-??!" He stuttered, "What are you doing?!!"
Your mouth opened and closed repeatedly like a fish. What were you doing? What did he mean? And how exactly do you respond?
"I... uhh-" You looked down at yourself in the ridiculous lace.
You had not been trained in much regarding sex, having been told that the man you would marry would be well aware of how to educate you when it came to your actions. Suddenly self-conscious, you wondered if you had done something wrong.
Nanami calls your name from outside your new bedroom, then repeats it. Firm and unmoving. "What-are-you-doing?"
Your hands flounce around. Stuttering for a response, "I- I don't know!?" You finally force out, the tone coming off a little too questioning for an answer.
After a moment there is a dull *bonk* against the door. You hear no response for a long while. The room is so silent, you can hear your heart pounding. It was so painfully uncomfortable, you reached a hand to your chest to try and calm it. Finally, he clears his throat and calls out to you from behind the door again.
He speaks your name gently, as if calling to a child, "I'm going to come in now, okay?"
You sit upon the bed once more, back straight. "Alright." You nod to yourself.
Unsure of what to expect, you watch the door handle tilt to allow for your husbands entry, but your eyes narrow as he shifts into the room, avoiding your gaze - in fact - avoiding your presence completely.
His arm is shaking off his nicely tailored suit jacket. Still turned to look at the closet, he comes before you, jacket in hand, and reaches out for your shoulders. You almost want to shrink back from this odd behavior but remain still as he wraps you up in his clothing.
After a few awkward seconds, he turns to look at you. "What are you doing?" He repeats, low and calm.
You raise your brows, "What... are you doing?" You reach up to feel the jacket covering your collar and torso, instantly, he drops his hands from your shoulders.
He shakes his head, a hand tugging at his loose blond hair. "I don't... understand." He is no longer looking in your vicinity. His voice shakes and all the air leaves his lungs.
"I'm sorry." You wrap yourself tighter in his jacket, shifting to stare at him, "Was this not... expected?" His apprehension certainly came as a surprise to you.
Suddenly he's back, fully facing you, "Expected?" He raises his brows, "What is this? You're... what? Doing what is expected of you?". Despite the severity of the moment, it is now that you recognize how expressive his features are. His neck, up to his cheeks, up to even his ears are a warm pink. It wouldn't be improbable to assume his chest is a rosy shade right about now as well.
You decide to push the boundary, share your frustration. Why is he upset? If he does not want you, he should just say. It's not as if you desire him in that way. This has been an incredibly stressful and tense day, at least he knew who you were before all of this, you did not have that liberty. If anything, you should be upset with him!
"Is it not?" You speak up, "Forgive me, but I was under the impression that...this" You pull your arm out from under his jacket to motion between you two, "was how this worked."
He makes a face. Revolted.
"You are- we-" He cuts himself off, waving his hands before himself, then covers his face, "no." He gets out, "This is not how this works."
"Well." Now you're flushing, embarrassed. You straighten yourself, balling his suit jacket in your firsts. "What... would you like for me to do? I told you in the car that I learn quickly, if thats-"
"Stop." He spits out, voice suddenly higher than before, "Just...stop."
You swallow. What does he want from you? "Okay." You whisper.
He calls for you gently, and motions for you to stand. He turns away from the bathroom now and shifts in the other direction, looking at your wedding gown strewn across the bookcase ladder. He purses his lips. "Please.... dress yourself." He swallows, motions towards the wardrobes along the wall. "Something comfortable in there. I was... going to ask your preferences, for a meal-for dinner. Let me-"
He clears his throat, moving away now toward the bedroom door, he drops to the floor and picks up what must be his phone, having been dropped earlier, he rubs the screen on his pant leg. "What would you like?"
You stare at him, straight-faced. "Anything you like." You're not a picky eater.
He sighs, looking up at the ceiling, "No. What do you like to eat?
You shrug, "Anything. I don't mind." You shake your head at him and he just looks you up and down. The stupidly large jacket comes mid-thigh.
He takes a deep breath. Then exhales dramatically. Nods. And he's gone. This time, when closing the door, he makes an effort to do so gently.
--
You had found a soft cotton pajama set in one of the dresser drawers. Having long since removed your previous attire, you wonder what your husband is thinking of as he silently serves two plates of Chinese food.
You wonder what your father would say if he saw Mr. Nanami serving up dinner for his wife as you sat on the living room couch.
You're taken from your thoughts as Nanami places a large wooden tray on the couch, he places the food on it.
It seems you will very much be eating together.
"I hope you enjoy it. Let me know if you don't." He murmurs, seating himself near you in the dimly lit room.
In no world would you complain about the food your husband served you. Even if you disposed it, luckily, you liked Chinese cuisine. Before you can even get out a word of appreciation he is speaking again, "I think we should talk."
You sit up straight. "Alright."
He motions for you to eat, "Feel free. I think we ought to have an open discussion."
You grab your utensils but don't reach for anything until after he takes a bite. Awaiting his words.
"Well... I believe we ought to be on the same page about this. I had been under the impression that we were... but as I can see, that is not the case." He stares at you intently.
He is not speaking down to you, but rather, making space for an open conversation. You set down your chopsticks, and await further explanation.
"I suppose I should know what exactly the higher-ups asked of you."
You raise your brows, "Sorry?"
An apology has become a common synonym for many of your reactions.
"Earlier, you asked me for my name. And just then-" He flushes a little, motioning to the bedroom, "well- you mentioned expectations and I feel I ought to ask you what is is that has been requested of you."
Is this man daft? Is he playing with you?
Before you respond, you test the waters, "What did the higher-ups demand of you?"
The man sighs.
"I am terribly sorry," he calls your name again like its easy, a habit that makes your stomach flip, "It seems that people have not been honest with you, you deserve an explanation. I just expected you to be aware of this before our union."
He pauses for a moment, his eyes watch you and the chopsticks laying on the wooden tray.
Ah.
You reach to take a bite. It's good, and oddly puts the man before you at ease.
"Before this, I was intending to leave sorcery."
He states it as if it is nothing. Your eyes bug out and he pauses, allowing for you to ensure you heard correctly.
"The higher-ups have a large amount of sway in Tokyo, I'm not sure about Kyoto, but they were not fond of this plan."
I can't imagine why that would be. You thought as you recalled the moment you had first seen this Nanami Kento.
It had been an annual meeting between the Kyoto and Tokyo branches. You had heard him refer to sorcery as "a pain". Had he been considering retirement even then?
You simply nod, listening quietly. "It was their intention to find me...a wife." He huffs, "Maintaining a life in sorcery was highly important to them."
Oh, you see. Perhaps he wasn't so different from you after all.
The higher-ups have only had one expectation for you, even since showing promise in the world of sorcery, even after moving up the ranks at Kyoto Metropolitan Curse Technical College. Your job was plain and simple.
To have babies.
Sorcerer babies.
Had they been so afraid of losing one sorcerer to the regular world that he was cornered into loveless marriage? All to keep him from departure? Was that why Gakuganji had been so immediate with his instatement of your husband?
"I see..." You nod once more.
"I would like to know your experience as well. What was it that they asked of you?" He had both hands laid flat on the makeshift table between the pair of you.
You consider what to say. "I...have known-" you try again, "My duty has been laid out for some time now." You tilt your head, he's squinting at you.
"Please. Just tell me. They... forced you - to - to do that?" He points his head in the direction of your room once more.
Now you're confused. You want to speak in a way that doesn't insult his intelligence but he's making is difficult for you. "Did you not... marry me for children?"
He chokes.
Coughing to clear his throat, he wipes his mouth. "That is not- eugh-" he tries again, "They cannot ask that of you. I will not do anything that you are not explicitly requesting of me." He pauses effecting a moment of silence before, "Do you understand?"
But you don't. "Mr. Nanami, are you... not expected to produce children? Is that not why you were chosen to be in this situation?"
He responds quickly and with precision, "I did not marry you for what you could give me. No."
You can't hold in your confused laugh, "Then...why?"
"Was it not the easiest for the both of us?" He smirks at you, his shoulders have eased only slightly after hearing your laugh, "I was informed that your other options were not the most savory."
"You knew you would be marrying me?" You ask, ignoring his reference to your suitors and flummoxed by how easy it is to speak comfortably with a man you had been so recently adverse to.
"Yes. I... cannot believe you were not provided the same..." He pauses, "I was under the impression that this was a mutual decision..."
"Oh." It's all you can say.
Nanami takes in a deep breath from across the couch cushions. "I'm sorry." And you really believe that he means it. "I would not have agreed if I knew." He forms a flat line with his lips.
"I think you're right, though..." He looks at you, addled, so you continue, “This was the easiest choice. I think so too." You're unsure of how else to conclude.
Your wedding dinner had not been what you would have expected and the night, unlike anything you could have predicted.
Nanami Kento, no matter how you denied and tried to shuffle from the bedroom, had sworn himself to a guestroom after collecting the night clothes laid out for him on the bedside table.
He had gently grabbed your shoulders, maneuvering you towards the bed and away from the exit. Pleading with you to remain in the master bedroom. Claiming that he had intended to sleep in a separate bedroom since the beginning.
Though you pulled at his arms to try and swap your standing, telling him adamantly to take the bigger of the bed options, he simply drew close to you, shifted farther from the door and blocked your sights. He lead you softly to the bed, and when you attempted to side step him and make your way to the guestroom, he took one arm, catching you by the waist, and swiftly lifted you from the floor.
"Please. Do not ask me again. Sleep here, alright? All of your things are here. I will be very comfortable in the guestroom."
And before you could get out any complaint, he had you placed upon the duvet. His hands were off you in an instant, but he remained looking in your direction as he backed to the door you had been fighting over.
"Do sleep well." His long strides had brought him to the rooms entrance with no delay, you were still caught up with the fact that he had lifted you like a sack of potatoes, with one arm no less. "We will likely have to arrange the...trip tomorrow."
The honeymoon, that's right.
He said it in a way that sounded like, 'just to warn you' or 'you should know'. But all you could reply with was, "Right."
"Right." He echo's, turning to walk through the door, and looks to you once more. "Sleep well." And there's your name again, leaving his lips as though you are long time friends.
"You too."
But the door has been silently shut.
His touch lingers on your waist from where he had lifted you. Not in the way your fathers hand would linger after he drug you to and from meetings, not the way his fingers would remain painfully on your neck after he would steer you into conference rooms. But rather, in an almost ticklish way.
You shiver.
And run your hands over your new duvet.
When you had made up your childhood bed and left this morning, you had listened to your mothers cries, sure that last night would be the last time you would have the peace of your own bed. Your heart swelled with the knowledge that you had been wrong.
Your fingers traced the stitching on the comforter. Swung your legs from the mattress, and almost-almost grinned.
〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰
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