#there is exactly One Single Person who ended w a mutual blocking who i would talk to and try to explain myself better

[gutsfics]

marinating about specific shit that happened a year or more ago & realizing i kind of was a little shit when that happened. #growth

i mean. i was right. but i didnt have to be a dick about it

[jewelstole]

rules -

hello there !! my alias is rose with she / her pronouns please. i've written catwoman for a long time. i tend to randomly disappear from the dc community and then out of the blue , i'll pop back up on your radar. i've gone by femtale / selinaes / and now i'm here as jewelstole. it's always good to be back home. <3 if i give off the impression that i am at all hard to approach here , please please please know that you are always able to approach me about anything. i am an open book.

01. this is a mutuals only blog. that means i will not write with people outside of my own following. if you have followed me and expressed interest even with me not following back , i most likely will end up softblocking you. it's nothing personal but it does kind of get old dealing with people who don't read this very important rule !! not everyone can have my time here unfortunately as i am only one person. if i get overwhelmed with too much going on , i feel that following you would be kind of dishonest ?? because i genuinely want to give as many people my time as i can.

02. callouts / negativity / etc. are unwelcome here. i refuse to be associated with bad vibes. i was friends with people who frequently gossiped and namedropped and after my own name being pulled into the mix ( as things tend to happen when you are involved with toxic individuals ) i refuse to condone it anymore. i went to therapy for quite a while to help manage what exactly happened with these ex friends. i'm not here to talk about them. they still exist in their own space , i expect them to stay in their own lane just as i am in mine. it's that simple really. otherwise though , just be chill. if you post enough negativity , i will softblock and or hardblock depending on if you harass me for that. as long as you are chill though , i am chill. also on the topic though , i just want to be clear that i do not consider p*dophilia / r*cism and overall any kinds of discrimination towards people to be "drama" .. you are disgusting if you participate in that. and you are unwelcome here. do not follow me if you participate in ACTUALLY harmful things or that you DID participate in those things. i just want my space to be safe.

03. please please please cut your posts. if you cannot cut your posts for whatever reason it may be , tell me about it. if you don't , i will end up softblocking. if we do not communicate with each other though then i am just gonna assume you are being lazy.

04. this blog will have dark themes. this blog absolutely will have smut / violence and the like. selina is a very dark character with a lot of complexities. she will flirt with your muse. it isn't me directly forceshipping with you either because most of the time when she flirts , it is to get something. not because she wants a relationship. also , selina is bisexual. she will flirt with just about anyone that is of course of age. i also headcanon that she is in her 30s age wise. on this same topic , i obviously do not condone certain elements of what she will say. selina is not me and i am not selina. she can be incredibly manipulative if your muse is naive enough. she is capable of hurting / betraying your muse. nothing is black and white ever with her. just keep that in mind !

05. on the same topic since this has actually been a problem i've had specifically in the dc community , please do not ask the mun if she is single lmao. i do not use this site as a means to hook up with other writers. we write these characters because we enjoy the thrill of writing , not because we are looking for someone. at least i'm not doing that. if you start to make me uncomfortable , i will block you and leave it at that.

06. duplicates are welcome here. we keep the good vibes tbh all year rounddd. i really miss doing dupe things and talking about my muses w/ other people who have equal love for that muse. i would honestly open this up to every fandom i've ever been in IF i hadn't been stolen from and made to feel insignificant. like i said , every fandom is different. i know not everyone likes duplicates and that's fine and valid. but ye. we are chill here. ♡ just wanted to give my two cents.

otherwise , i really hope you enjoy my favorite cat !! meow xoxo

[simp-for-mha-men]

𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕥𝕦𝕤: 𝕠𝕟𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕖 (𝕕𝕖𝕟𝕜𝕚 𝕜𝕒𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕒𝕣𝕚 𝕩 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣)

A/N: My first piece of writing! I hope that all of you enjoy it. I LOVE IT! (also a Denki stan, so ya know) I totally believe Denki is the kinda person to create friends only AND in person. Without further ado, here ya go.

Genre: fluffy fluff with mutual pining 💞

Word count: 2.3k

♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥

itzElectric has joined the chat

itzElectric: HEAR YE! HEAR YE! I SUMMON MY COMPANION @IceStorm TO CURE MY BOREDOM!

Denki Kaminari was once again on his phone, searching for the person who he began talking to only months ago in a future-hero chatroom. He remembered he slid into IceStorm’s DMs with a cheesy pick-up line: Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Enough to break the ice. A classic one-liner he hoped wouldn’t scare the person on the other side of the screen away.

IceStorm ended up responding to the DM almost immediately, commenting on how the Titanic wouldn’t appreciate that opener. Denki knew from that simple reply that he and IceStorm were going to get along just fine.

IceStorm, whose name he later found out was (y/n), was an all around perfect human being. Seriously, they were. Denki swore to the Bakusquad that if you looked up the definition of perfect in the dictionary, (y/n)’s tag would be next to it.

Their quirk related to the online name they chose for themselves. The fact that they could not only produce ice from their body but also turn any bodies of water, like clouds or lakes, into ice was fascinating to the electric boy. He, in turn, shared his quirk with (y/n). He even sent a video of himself in full “Dumb Denki” mode, to which he received an audio clip of them laughing hysterically as a reply.

The two online friends shared everything with each other. When (y/n) broke up with their first boyfriend, they talked with Denki the entire night over voice chat. When Denki started doubting himself and his placement in UA’s hero course, the future ice hero immediately gave him a million reasons on why he was going to become a great hero.

It took Chargebolt only 3 months to realize that he had developed feelings for his online friend after sending that fateful DM. He couldn’t tell (y/n) though. No way. If he did, they would probably block him, maybe even delete their account and create a new one just to get away from him for good.

How did this happen you might ask? Well, it began when (y/n) and Denki found out they were the same age. They also both wanted to become pro-heroes, obviously. Plus, all of their interests lined up with each other. It was as if fate pulled them both together through an internet connection and an obsession with Tik Tok memes.

Snapping out of his trance, Denki realized he had been zoning out for a few minutes to recount how he met his current crush. He was so head-over-heels for a person he had only ever heard and not seen that he didn’t even check if IceStorm was online.

Doing just what his brain thought of, he clicked IceStorm’s profile in his friends list and saw what he wished to see the most. Next to a green dot read the words Status: Online, making Denki’s heart rate speed up just a bit.

Instead of waiting for more time to pass, and considering it was almost 2 AM on a Friday night, he DMed the ice maker.

itzElectric: hey.....you lowkey left me hangin in the main chat 😔

He hoped, prayed, and wished that (y/n) would respond. He wanted his partner in crime. His meme expert. His muse. He wanted another audio clip of them singing songs horribly off-key or laughing at another ridiculously stupid Tik Tok. He wanted his heart to flutter in his chest just a bit more. He wanted to feel them in person. He wanted...no, needed to video chat with (y/n).

They had known each other for a total of 8 months, and graduation was coming up for the both of them. If he could video chat with (y/n), maybe he could work up the courage and ask to meet them at the café near U.A. It had the best pastries, something that he knew they would love.

itzElectric: something up? you know you can tell me anything 

Very rarely did it take you more than a couple of seconds to respond to the blonde. It worried him. What if something had happened? What if you were doubting yourself? What if you had gotten injured? What if you were--

Suddenly, his phone vibrated. He never had picked it up faster in his life. As he looked down at the message he had just sent, he felt his face heat up slightly when he read your response.

IceStorm: nah nothing’s wrong. was someone worried about me? lol 🥴

He was so happy you couldn’t see his blushing face. However, little did he know the reason you didn’t meet him in the chat room was because you were thinking about what to say. Also, you were blushing as well.

Going to Shiketsu was a big deal, and you never wanted to get distracted. When you met itzElectric online, everything changed. You began developing feelings. It was an issue, but it was a very, very good issue. You had never seen his face. All you wanted to do was video chat with him. If you could video chat with Denki, maybe you could work up the courage and ask to meet him at the café near U.A. It had the best frappes, something that you knew he would love.

You felt your heart rate pick up when Denki responded to your previous message.

itzElectric: obviously. if you died or something, who would make me feel better about myself? 👉🏻👈🏻🥺

Denki began questioning his latest reply. It sounded clingy, he thought. He might as well have just dug his own grave. Who would say something like that?

IceStorm: awwww is my bb giving me a compliment 💘

Your heart soared with emotion. This man, separated by a screen, was your world. You could never have him, though. If you did, he would get freaked out. Besides, you knew he was a flirt with how many pick-up lines he got your opinion on. 

itzElectric: well.....since your online, i wanted to ask you something kinda important

Denki knew he shouldn’t be typing anything to them. He knew that this could make or break their entire relationship. In a couple minutes, he might be blasting The One That Got Away by Katy Perry and crying. Despite this, he waited for (y/n)’s reply.

IceStorm: sure. what’s up?

itzElectric: i feel like we have a pretty strong connection....so can we maybe see each other

You might as well have gone into cardiac arrest. This man, the man you’ve had a crush for 4 months, just asked you to meet him. Or was it a video chat request? Maybe just pictures? You needed clarification before you freaked out even more.

IceStorm: what do you mean? like in person or....?

Denki froze. In person? YOU wanted to meet HIM in person? That did not catch him off guard. No, totally not. It punched, kicked, and threw him off guard. That wasn’t suppose to happen. He wanted to video chat then meet up with you. Could this happen out of order?

IceStorm: yo....pika? gonna answer me? 

The electric boy typed before his brain could tell him to stop what he was doing.

itzElectric: can you video chat right now?

He wanted exactly what you wanted. The months of banter over chat and stupid voice memos led up to this, but you couldn’t believe it. The two of you could never be together. Denki had to have a girlfriend or boyfriend. There’s no way a catch like him would still be single. Still, you typed your response out immediately.

IceStorm: yes

Your phone began vibrating profusely due to the incoming call. In the moment, you forgot to turn on any lights. Leaping out of your bed, you scrambled to turn on the lamp that was on your desk. You then turned on the one next to the bed. Then, you did the unthinkable: you answered the call.

When the phone stopped ringing, Denki saw you. Oh my All Might.....why didn’t he do this sooner? He was floored by your looks. You were even better than perfect. Your face held a soft expression that made him turn almost as red as a tomato. Your hair complemented the irises of your eyes beautifully. It was as if you weren’t even human. You were just an angel visiting him for a brief moment.

You were seeing him in the same light. His blonde hair and bright yellow eyes made a fire ignite in your heart. He held a goofy grin, one you had imagined many nights before falling asleep. However, you were very far off. His entire persona was fixated in that grin. It was absolutely phenomenal.

“Hi,” you started, letting out a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding.

“Hey,” he responded.

Denki was speechless. You were enamored. This was everything you both wanted.

“So,” you began, “should I call you Denki or itzElectric?”

“Whatever you want.”

Denki wasn’t using his brain anymore. It was as if he short-circuited himself without using his quirk. He was responding to everything you said from his heart. It was all out of love for you.

You giggled a bit, bringing the electricity user back to his senses.

“Why all of this suddenly?” you questioned.

“I wanted to see you.”

“Really?”

“No. I,” Denki paused and inhaled, “I needed to see you. To hear you. To just be with you.”

Your face became flushed as if you had been training for the past 5 hours. The guy you had fallen so hard for needed to see you? He wasn’t acting flirty or overly comedic. He was peaceful and had a glint in his eye. Could it be--?

“D-dude! You can’t just s-say things like that,” you stammered in the best voice possible.

Denki was whipped for you. He glanced at the clock and realized it was 2:18. He needed to be up at 7 for a morning run with Kirishima. He’s run on no sleep before from talking to you all night, but tomorrow was going to be a strenuous training day. He had to get everything off of his chest.

“Listen,” Denki said, “(y/n), I really--”

“N-no. Just w-wait a minute,” you cut in.

Two very different emotions coursed through you both. You felt a sense of purpose, bordering on the edge of extreme shyness. Denki felt nervous, bile already threatening his throat.

“I like you,” you stated.

His eyes grew the size of dinner plates. You did not just say that. He just had too much caffeine before bed. Wait, he didn’t have anything with caffeine before bed. 

“L-like as m-more than a friend. You’re really cool, and I want to see you,” you ended.

When you realized he hadn’t said anything, you panicked. Trying to cover up your embarrassment, you just started spewing out word vomit.

“You know what? Forget I said anything. It’s clear that you are totally not ready to talk about that. I mean you probably have someone else in mind, right? I’m not the best looking. My jokes are subpar. I mean, I’m not even that confi--”

“In person?”

“Wait...what?”

“Do you want to see me in person?” Denki asked.

He was floored. The person, who he had feelings for, liked him back. For the first time in his life, the pick-up lines and corny jokes worked. He was truly himself and still got the prize: love.

“Yes,” you replied. “I really, really want to see you in person.”

“You can on one condition.”

You tilted your head, clearly confused by his statement. He chuckled at this and continued talking.

“You have to let me hold your hand.”

“What?”

“I like you too, IceStorm.”

Your online username coming out of his mouth made you smile so wide. It also could’ve been the fact that the guy you fell so hard for reciprocated your feelings.

“Want to meet at the café near your school on Sunday? At around 1?” you blurted, hoping that wouldn’t be too soon for him.

“Absolutely. Speaking of which,” he began, “I need to test out my newest pick-up line.”

You rolled your eyes, faking distaste, but on the inside, you wanted nothing more than to hear it. After all, he felt the same way about you. It was bound to make your heart soar even more now.

“Do you like coffee?” he smirked. “Because I like you a latte.”

You couldn’t help bursting out in laughter and blushing profusely. He, in turn, laughed with you and felt butterflies in his stomach. This continued for a couple of minutes before both of you could catch your breaths and refocus yourselves on the conversation.

You were ecstatic. He was elated. You actually did it. You admitted your feelings to the one guy you never thought you could have. You were everything to him. He would electrocute the whole world just for you to smile if necessary. It was as if fate had finally done its job.

Forgetting about his morning run with Kirishima, Denki started a new conversation about the latest Tik Tok he saw. You replied with your usual sarcasm to which he pretended to be mortified by your opinion.

It went on for hours. The two of you were genuinely happy. Hopefully, Denki would ask you on a date soon. Maybe, you might have to, but who knows.

Suddenly, in the midst of talking about plans after high school, a knock sounded on Denki’s door. He glanced at the clock and realized it was Kirishima.

“Be out in few!” he yelled, jumping out of bed.

He threw his phone down, which still had the call going, and got dressed at lightning speed. Once you had calmed down from laughing at his urgency, he picked up the phone and said something you’ll never forget.

“I’ll see you soon, my wonderful snowflake. Zapping out!”

[princesscas]

Hi! I have a question. I haven’t been heavily involved in tumblr/social media for a while. I had stopped watching supernatural for a couple of years and just got back into it. I ship destiel, but sometimes things about wincest come up. I keep seeing things about people not wanting to “ship shame” which you just mentioned as well, and I’m just confused. How is it okay that people ship two brothers? Like they are actual brothers on the show?? I don’t care that they’re not irl. I don’t know who the N girl you’re talking about is but apparently she cares about canon, so how can she like it? And why is it wrong for people to condemn people for shipping two brothers, when that is the thing inherently wrong? Like it’s disgusting... it’s not about them being guys, it’s incest... Again, I just don’t get it and I hope I don’t come off as rude! Thank you!

Nah, you’re not rude at all! Never ever like them. I’m still upset about what happened two days ago so what the hell, tea time!

To start off, I believe that everyone can ship whatever like like as long as they aren’t sending hate to others. Take a look at this (lengthy) post about ship wars. People can ship whatever they want, end of story. Doesn’t really matter anyway because people are gonna do what they wanna do. Do I like those types of ships like you described above? No, but it’s none of my business to tell others what they can and cannot ship. Sometimes I read darkfics. That isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay. Is the post/fanfic properly tagged with such elements? Then it’s fine. Start hyjacking posts/leaving nasty comments? That’s 1000% not fine and it never will be. 

Something that doesn’t get brought up enough: There is a vast difference between an ordinary w//cest shipper and a J-two-squared tinhatter who believes the said two actors are secretly gay, their wives are beards, they hate mish, everyone who doesn’t like w//cest are wrong, etc.

Now, it’s on the shipper if they start normalizing such things. (in//st, unhealthy, etc) And the rabid obsessed (N&Co) hate-everything-that-breathes crew is a prime example of this. 

This thing is already long so why not throw out some receipts, huh?  IMO, you cross that ‘ship whatever you want’ line when you do this: 

...I ship an angel and a human my dude. (and two 100 yr old super soldiers, I wonder what they think about stucky lol) also jesus christ the rest of that is a mess. 

/tw: biphobia here./ REAL bisexuals? “oh you aren’t bisexual if you like one angel and a hunter.” And they’re obsessed with calling everyone ‘teenager girls.’ This is not only wrong but also pretty damn transphobic and misogynistic. 1) Most people have aged over the years (wow that’s crazy right?) 2) trans, nonbinary, and gender fluid people exist. 

Overall, these people are a horrible bunch. They’re obsessed with preaching to people about ‘tagging properly’ when they could take it upon themselves and use a blacklisting extension. Or just block every single blog they don’t like. These people are a very small portion of the fandom but they’re loud, they want you to think they make up all of the fandom but they don’t. Not even close, when other in general posts gets thousands of notes/retweets and theirs get maybe a couple hundred. (and a lot are from reblogs for replies) 

Not gonna lie, I feel the need to defend w//cest shippers because I’ve known/have/had mutuals who do ship it and they’re nice as can be. 

The loud bunch are so loud, it silences the others who partaking in normal fandom things. Or really, if I were them, I wouldn’t want to associate myself with those people. 

Let’s pretend for a second. Imagine if you loved a ship (it could be any ship from any fandom) but the fandom is toxic as hell and the most ‘popular/well known’ blogs/artists/writers are these people. Fandom corners have history on the way they were built upon throughout the course of the fandom’s media. 

You browse the tags, the blogs, the fanfics, and find yourself staring at a hateful group of cult-like bigoted people. But wait. These people? They don’t like fanfiction or fanon. No, they hate anyone who writes anything outside of textbook canon. Any characters outside of SW/DW/JW won’t be present. (if you’re curious or are brave enough, go look at the AO3 tag, it’s sad) 

I try to be empathetic with people. I cannot, for the life of me, imagine what it’s like. To love a show so much with your favorite ship but one part dislikes it and another part are so inherently hateful.   

The OP deleted but this thread on Reddit is exactly what I’m talking about. And they mentioned something else I think not many people bring up: OT3′s. 

I’m gonna quote this but it’s 1000% true. 

“What I can't for the life of me understand though is why people would hate on Misha as an actor because of his role on the show. I've seen a lot of Misha hatred - and I mean A LOT of it. In fact, I recently went through the anti-misha tag on tumblr and blocked over 200 tumblr accounts that either were dedicated to bashing him or castiel, or posted constantly about it.”

“It's really nuts to me that people would choose to put so much time and effort into hating an actor who hasn't done anything to them personally or hasn't even affected their lives, when they could be putting good feelings into praising the actors who have affected their lives in a good way instead if you feel me.”

Constantly is the key word here. I don’t think these people ever stop, not even for one second, to sit down and say, “God this is exhausting, I think I need a break this week.” I really dislike these people but I also feel empathetic for them. What is their mental health like? It isn’t healthy. Go show a therapist this, they’d probably quit on the spot. (okay prob not but that’s my best example atm) 

This has gotten extremely long so I think I’ll stop here. There are some nice people out there who will ship things you don’t like but a toxic side can make it seem much worse than it actually is. Ironically, it’s usually the opposite. (ie: voltron’s’s toxic side scaring off other shippers of that fandom) 

Lemme end this with pre!serum smol Steve and his legendary quote: 

[cookinguptales]

So this came up on Twitter yesterday and I thought I’d post about it on Tumblr today. Frankly speaking, I’ve got a lot of young followers and this is some truth I wish someone had taught me when I was a lot younger because I would’ve gone through a lot less stress.

I know we’re all starved for outside validation on this site, but I wanna talk to you about when compliments are used by creeps. Now, you probably know about negging (when someone uses a backhanded compliment on you to make you feel bad about yourself, often in order to pick you up more easily — i.e. “you’re really pretty for a fat girl”), creepy sexualized comments on the street, etc. But I’m talking about really nice compliments about your work or your personality or your drive. Even the sweetest compliment can be used as a weapon.

(All this is going to be a pretty gendered discussion; I in no way want to say that only guys can be creeps and only women have been socialized in the ways I’m about to discuss, but, well. Let’s all be real here, there are definite patterns.)

Discussion under a cut for length and possible triggers

I don’t want to get into a lot of my own painful personal experiences with creepy guys, but I do have to bring up some examples from my own life, so I’ll use one particular guy as a case study. Let’s call him Dick. (Look, I never claimed to be mature.) I’ve had these experiences with guys IRL, but Dick was a guy I met online. At first, Dick was my friend. He clearly had a bit of a crush, but seemed to accept it when I said I wasn’t interested. It was nice having a bud who shared my interests and I knew he had some issues with socializing, so at first I was pretty patient with his problems with boundaries. But by the time my longstanding friendship with Dick ended, he had become a full-blown stalker — and my friends were on his side.

How did this happen? Well, my friends, it’s the art of the public compliment. Dick was All About Me. He loved me. He treated me right. He praised me for my mind and my heart, and he didn’t care who heard him do it. Or so I thought. It took a long time for me to realize it, but he cared very much who heard it. That was exactly why he said it. To be heard.

Over time, I started to become more and more uncomfortable with Dick’s attentions. He wanted to talk about me more than he did the media we’d bonded over. He kept talking about how our (respective) children would grow up together, and would maybe fall in love. (???) He told me that he’d gone to a place I often vacation at — and he’d looked around for tangible traces of me. Long story short, Dick had become pretty creepy.

But, like many women, my first instinct in this situation was to be nice. I wanted to go to him privately and have a polite conversation about all this. And, to his credit, he seemed truly and honestly repentant. Until he did it again. It became a pattern of me trying to establish boundaries and Dick stomping all over them. Finally, despite feeling guilty, I told him he was really upsetting me and I wanted him to leave me alone for a while.

This is when the second creepy pattern emerged. The compliment trap. When I told him to stop contacting me, he didn’t…technically. He didn’t talk to me. He talked about me. He publicly talked about what a great person I was. How smart. How kind. How forgiving. He said it to my friends. He said it to people I respected. And he tagged me.

Now, this looked nice on the outside. He was just complimenting a woman he respects! How nice! But on my side of things, it felt like a trap. All of my friends were waiting for me to acknowledge these compliments. The situation left me with three choices: thank him (in a demure, polite way befitting a modest woman, ofc) and be forced to interact with a man I’d told to leave me alone,  ignore him and look like a stuck up bitch, or say publicly that he’s a creep — which would make me look like I was “hysterical”. (See: rape culture, women “overreacting”, punishing men who “just want to be nice”, etc.)

Left with this choice, I chose option #1. I chose option #1 a bunch of times. Because this would become a pattern. I’d tell him to stop contacting me, he’d do this public complimenting game, I’d feel like I had to interact with him — and worse, I’d question my own feelings of fear. I’d say “Well, look how nice he’s being. Maybe he’s just awkward. He clearly likes me. He doesn’t want to hurt me. Maybe I really was overreacting.” And I’d talk to him again. Until he’d ask me for my address for a Christmas card or something.

And I didn’t realize for a really long time that he wasn’t being nice! This behavior! It was not nice! It was deeply emotionally manipulative! He’d put this horrible emotional onus on me to forgive and forgive and forgive, steadily gaslighting me into forgetting how scared I’d been until I blamed myself for being so quick to react… and let him back into my life. Because this was all public. All our “fighting” happened in private. All those times I begged him to just ease up a little were privy to only the two of us. All our friends, all my support system, only saw a nice boy with a crush praising a girl he liked and her refusing to give him the time of day.

Guess what happened when I finally put my foot down and stopped engaging when he did this? Oh boy. Oh boy. He started sending me literally dozens of messages a day, sometimes over a hundred. Have you ever had a person sending you @s on tumblr and twitter, private messages on tumblr and twitter, public and private messages on Facebook, emails, LJ messages, IMs on two different clients, and forum messages? Every single goddamn day? Dozens of times? Have you ever had a guy start showing interest in something you know he never liked before — just so he can “coincidentally” run into you on every community you’ve ever joined?

Honestly, I was so stressed. In tears all the time. My school work was suffering. No matter how many times I tried to tell him to stop, to avoid him, etc., he just kept going. I told him that we were done. No more forgiveness. I wanted absolutely zero contact — and I wanted him to never mention me on social media again. I didn’t want him to @ me. I didn’t want him to say my name. I didn’t want him to make thinly veiled sad posts about me. Zero contact. If he did that, I wouldn’t block him on every single platform and tell everyone we knew.

Yeah, I was dumb. I still wanted to be nice and polite. He’d been my friend, y’know? I didn’t want to ruin his life. I just wanted him to stop ruining mine. Even then, I didn’t understand how manipulative he’d been. I still believed he was just kind of awkward, and that I was probably the dick for being unable to deal with it. After all, I’d been friends with him, right? I’d encouraged him, right? It’d felt good to have someone like me so much, right?

(Yeah, until it didn’t.)

I almost got out this time, though. He almost made it. Sure, he “accidentally” replied to my posts every few weeks. (Somehow I didn’t put together that even though I’d unfollowed him, he clearly hadn’t unfollowed me. I guess I just thought that he’d kept seeing my posts when our mutual friends replied to them.) I felt pretty good. In fact, I was at a point where I felt almost silly for being upset in the first place. And then our mutual friends started asking me why we weren’t talking as much. He’d liked me so much. We’d had such good conversations. They talked about maybe reconnecting with him. After all, they’d only ever seen him being nice.

And god help me, I said okay. I figured he must have grown! Learned his lesson! Nah, that fucker was back to sending me tons of messages, talking to my friends (who did not know him), inserting himself in conversations I was having with others, making plans for the children I never wanted to have, etc.

I finally blocked him. E v e r y w h e r e. And I felt so fucking relieved that I was actually angry with myself for not doing it earlier. This man had harassed me for years, and I’d been the one to feel guilty over it.

Still private, I contacted our mutual friends and told them very briefly that he’d been harassing me and I was cutting off contact. I asked them to support me. Some people did.

A lot of people didn’t.

They’d only seen his public face. They’d only seen the avalanche of love and compliments. He hadn’t known better!! He just didn’t know how to express his feelings!! Next thing I knew, they were forwarding messages from him to me. Even after I’d blocked the fucker, he was still using compliments and romantic gestures to get to me! Through the people I’d trusted!

I’d finally had enough and was very public about this man who’d harassed me. I told people everything I’d been putting up with. I aired all our dirty laundry that I’d tried so hard to keep politely private. And some people believed me.

But a lot of people didn’t.

(This, coincidentally, is why I don’t answer tumblr asks privately anymore, not unless the person specifically asks me to and they haven’t been creepy at all. I had another guy pull this on me and I found myself in this same position again and all I had was private harassment. So no more of that! Public contact all the way.)

But Sarah, you say, isn’t this an isolated incident? Why are you making this huge tumblr post about one guy? Well, number one, it wasn’t one guy. This happened to me several times before I recognized that this wasn’t one man — this was a pattern of behavior that many men share. Number two, it speaks to wider issues that I’d like to address.

Media pushes this idea that if a girl is mad at you, you just have to work hard to be romantic and win her back. Piss her off? Hold up a boom box outside her window! Romantic, right? No, bruh, you’re lurking outside a girl’s bedroom window when she said she doesn’t be around you. She’s terrified and you’re being a creep. This isn’t gonna win her back. It’s just going to tell her you don’t know how to respect her boundaries.

Women are socialized to be nice even when they’re scared. We’re supposed to ignore the alarm bells in our head because it’s not socially acceptable to pull away. When we are complimented, we are supposed to acknowledge it graciously. When someone likes us, we are supposed to like them back. If we draw strong boundaries and enforce them, we often face strong social consequences. I’m here to tell you that every one of those consequences is worth it to help you feel safe.

Hell, I’ll reiterate it. It’s okay to be a bitch. Don’t sacrifice your mental and emotional well being for someone else’s. Women are supposed to be self-sacrificial, too… but you don’t have to be. A truly good person wouldn’t want you to be.

A PERSON WHO REALLY LIKES AND RESPECTS YOU WILL NOT WANT YOU TO FEEL UNSAFE AROUND THEM. IF THEY’RE OKAY WITH YOU BEING SCARED OF THEM, THIS IS A DEEPLY UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP.

Compliments are not always kind!! You do not always need to be grateful for them! Even nice compliments, ones that are more “you have beautiful writing” vs “nice tits”, can be utilized to emotionally manipulate you and those around you. If a compliment is making you uncomfortable because of the context in which it’s given, you do not need to even acknowledge it. It doesn’t make you stuck up or a bitch. Compliments are supposed to build you up and make you feel good, y’know? If it’s hurting you, it’s still a shitty compliment and that’s on them.

We’re taught that it’s best to be discreet. Naw, man. Be as public as possible, especially if someone’s giving you weird vibes. Keep things on the public record. Like, don’t be an asshole or anything, don’t publicize private information, but you don’t have to keep your conflict in the dark away from prying eyes. That’s only going to benefit the person hurting you… because there will be no established pattern of behavior. Establish establish establish.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, no one is owed your attentions. It doesn’t matter if they like you. It doesn’t matter if they do nice things for you. It doesn’t matter if there’s social pressure to acknowledge them and/or their efforts. It doesn’t matter if they do every single thing right. If you don’t want to interact with someone, you don’t have to. It doesn’t matter if they just give you vague creep vibes — or if you just plain don’t like them! No one is owed your attentions! Never feel trapped into interacting with people because they make you feel guilty!

(And for that matter, never let someone make you uncomfortable because “they’re just socially awkward”. You can be sympathetic towards someone’s social issues without letting them make you feel unsafe. Believe me, I’ve fallen into this one so many times.)

Anyway, tl;dr? Live bitch is better than dead sweetheart. Don’t fall for the compliment trap. Tell him to fuck off. If friends try to act as intermediary between you and someone you cut out of your life, they’re trash. Tell them to fuck off, too. You have my blessing.

[survivenovascotia]

Episode 2 -Not much is happening or I am just a mess - Heather

So I'm going around and there hasn't been a lot of talk. I don't really talk game with anyone as of now but I do have my alliance of 5 and it seems solid. I'm not sure whether we can win or not.. that's why I asked my alliance to send me to Oaks Island. I feel like I'm in a pretty good position so I wouldn't get targetted for going to the Island. The reasons why I wanna go tonight: 1. I would be the first to go from my team and there could be a huge advantage that is only available for the first player from my tribe to go there. 2. Skipping tribal council? for sure! The first vote is always tricky and  it seems like my alliance leans toward voting Livingston. I think Livingston dislikes me so if he finds out that he is the vote and he has got an idol then I could be the one going instead.

So I have thought about making a trust list/order Obviously I have my alliance on the top: Austin, Eric, Evan, Heather. I'd put Heather/Evan/Eric on the top because I got really good vibes from them and I have already been hunting for idol with Evan and Heather. I think i can work with them on the long term and I told all 3 of them I wanted to get to the end with them but that's not exactly true. I do like them but if necessary I will cut them later on. The reason why I put Austin below the other 3 is because I have known him for quite a while and he's nice and loyal to some extent but also he LIES a lot in games tbh. I trust him for now but I need to be very careful w him. Dylan is the next one on my trustlist. I wish we talked more because he's so nice! I'm interested in working with him buuut I'm just not sure as he hasn't really given me much. Glo is telling me from the beginning that she trusts me and wants to work w me but basically she says nothing else. Every time she messages me she's like: "Hey we're good!" She is not really replying and I don't think she's trying. Stephen is someone I have talked to but I just have no idea where his head is at. He doesn't seem interested in talking to me but also isn't giving me bad vibes. Chips is definitely 1 of the 2 players that gives me bad vibes. I don't trust him and I found out that he has prior connections to many players. I have tried talking to him multiple times but he seems to ignore me. I can't wait to prove him later on that it was a mistake. Livingston is the one I trust the LEAST. We played together before for like 32 days in a survivor game and I talked to him less than I have talked to my top 5 in a single day. He definitely doesn't care about my messages because he leaves me on read. So all in all I'm fairly positive about my position in my tribe. I only dislike(?) 2 people but it's not like I want them gone badly. My Order: 1. Heather 2. Evan 3. Eric 4. Austin - gap- 5. Dylan -gap- 6. Glo 7. Stephen -gap- 8. Chips 9.Livingston

This link will bring you to a pic of what I’ve been doing (mainly for the VL players watching). https://imgur.com/a/gaLKyE8 It’s for the idol hunt, I talk a lil bit in the link. I’ve got Keegan and Darcy helping me (they don’t know I’m working with the other). That’ll give me the best chance of finding the idol. I wanna get Kevin and Dan on board. Game wise? I want to find out what Oak Island was like. When I asked Kyle politely he didn’t respond which isn’t helpful and worrying. I didn’t wanna play like Boston Rob and be dominant but oops my inner Mafia Godfather is coming out. As long as I keep my threat level low as possible.

WE WON AGAIN!! And I got the fastest time for my puzzle which makes me so happy. I love our tribe we are amazing. Hard work pays off!

We won again !!!!! Makes me so happy that this tribe is sooooo amazing . I have me and eric working together to find the idol but I also have heather with helping as well. One way or another I'm gonna find a idol or advantage this game.  Love my tribe and loving this game <3

Well we lost another challenge. Currently 0 for 2. I’m not surprised. Half our tribe said they sucked at puzzles and boy did they not disappoint. Frankly though Kyle is getting so extremely on my nerves I can’t wait to vote him out. But that might have to wait until I’m back in the game since I’ve been chosen of Oak Island! Oak Island is basically exile island with a bit of Island of the Idols thrown in. I’ve been given a challenge and it I succeed, I will get an advantage/reward. If I fail, I lose my vote at the next tribal council. Considering my challenge is to throw the next challenge, I’d consider it already done. I’ve kicked ass in the last two challenges so if I stumble in the next one it won’t look so bad. I hope so anyways. Back to Kyle though, since I don’t have anyone to talk to right now. First off when the challenge post was first up I said I would do the 88 piece puzzle because I’m good at them. What does Kyle do? Starts practicing the 88 piece puzzle. Doesn’t say anything until he’s already submitting his scores for them. I post a first score on it that’s almost twice as fast as his but he just keeps going. And then, after the challenge he makes a comment that the other tribe was all on Darcy’s level. Excuse me? I had a better score than Darcy. I’m not entirely sure what his problem is but I want him out. Whatever my reward is I’m going to use it to get Kyle out to the best of my ability.

We lost again. OOP. I’ve thrown out Jessie’s name as an easy second vote and I’ve heard Dan’s name been thrown. I have Keegan, Dan, Darcy and Kevin as my 4 “idol searchers” in my cheeky game. I want Dan to stay, he’s a good ally of mine and Jessie is a sweetheart but she gotta go. I won’t let Dan leave unless it’s a dramatic blindside.

The one downside to being on Oak Island is I can’t work my social game to protect the people I want to play with. I’d really like all the people I’m tight with to make it through this tribal. I currently have the alliance of Kevin, Sunshine, Darcy and John on the go. We’ll see if we manage to stick together for much longer. It was an iffy alliance at best. Besides them Mac and I have been working together on the idol hunt. We’re sharing paths we’ve taken and have mutually agreed we want to work together in this game. Jessie is someone who I feel is very likely to be the next person voted out. I’d really hate that though because we’ve got a bit of mutual trust going and honestly, I think I could use her as basically an extra vote for a little bit in this game. She doesn’t seem super social with other people which could very easily be her downfall. I guess that just leaves Dan and Kyle. I’ve already made my feelings for Kyle known. I’m praying he gets the boot even if I don’t get to vote for him. Dan is.... honestly I don’t even know. He mainly talks about weed and I’m not about that so we aren’t going to be friends or really get along at all. I could lose either of them and not have an issue with it. In terms of current trust ratings probably: Darcy > Mac > Jessie > Kevin > Sunshine > John > >>> Dan > >>>>>>> Kyle

I think I’m thrilled we won? Immunity streaks can either go two ways, either we have majority over the other tribe and stick together till late merge, or we finally go to tribal and we tear each other to shreds. Time will tell.

So apparently my name is out there . I don’t really see how this is a move so hopefully I can shift the vote onto someone else #greatful for my alliance members and the loyalty they have shown so far though

I definitely have found my footing on this tribe. Myself, Kevin, Kyle are a good 3 with Darcy in the alliance. Kevin and Darcy still work with me in the Idol Hunt which adds more trust. I still want Jessie gone. Sunshine is a shady bitch. I’m more aware of how this games being played. There was a voting block, I wasn’t apart of that voting block. I’m definitely not controlling the tribe but I’m in a good position atm.

We love doing the puzzle all day and not confessing oops. I am so happy we won again. Here is an update for what has been happening. Austin told me a lot of Dead ends with idol searching. Not much is happening or I am just a mess at the moment oop. SCAVENGER HUNT TIME AND WE MUST WIN AGAIN

[5hfanfiction]

how you get the girl

on wattpad @ longerr_hours

“So you excited for pride on saturday?” Ariana asks as her and Camila made their way from lunch to french class for yet another hour of confusion. 

“I guess,” Camila shrugs, not really in the mood to talk after the depressing lunch period she’d just had. 

She’s been listening to her mopey break up playlist non stop - yes even at the gym, really good pump up music (note the sarcasm), and when Ally had asked about it it led to yet another round of questioning about her and Jade’s “break up”. The two were never dating, and it isn’t like the really could considering Jade had a serious girlfriend and Camila just had a hopeless crush, but it kind of hurt once she realize they officially couldn’t be together. 

The two had a talk, and it just so happened to fall a week before pride. So no, Camila wasn’t “excited for pride,” as Ari had asked, she was more like, sad about everything. 

“Hey but you might see your woman, last year we ended up with her in the end with a few of her friends and word on the street is that she’s single and looking to mingle,” Ariana wiggles her eyebrows and Camila groans but smiles despite herself. 

Her woman, also known as Lauren Jauregui, also known as the most attractive human known to date, isn’t really her woman at all.  Camila is the tip to easily develop crushes. Whether on her nerdy english teacher who’s perfect in every way, or the girl from her chemistry class who gets around, or one of her internet “friends” who said the right thing at the right time. She easily appreciates people, and usually it doesn’t mean much since she has crushes on literally everyone, but once in a blue moon a crush will come and it’ll last. 

Jade was kind of like that but with more feelings and bad luck, but Lauren Jauregui outshines even her biggest celebrity crush Selena Gomez. 

Lauren’s like, one of the only openly bisexual people at school, which is how Camila noticed who she was. She came out to Hailee a while back and the other girl immediately suggested they set her up with Lauren. Now, Camila had no idea who Lauren was, and after a few months of still not knowing and Hailee randomly bringing up how hot she is, Camila saw a girl in the hals and jut knew it was her. 

Camila is shameless when it comes to fingerling over her too, like one time they made eye contact for an assembly and Camila isn’t stop talking about until… well see she’s still talking about it because Lauren’s eyes were - are the most activating in the world and she completely made a fool out of hereof by forgetting to look way until like a good ten seconds later.  

One time she walked by her in the hallway and almost died for a few minutes before freaking out to Dinah who had been trying to keep her from passing out. 

She may or may not know the second half of Lauren’s schedule (no she did not actively seek it out, she just noticed her in the hallway, that’s all). 

She knows (form Hailee screens hotting her finsta and sending it to her) that Lauren’s favorite season of any show ever is glee season 2, which is Camila’s favorite too (and probably like any gay person’s but that doesn’t matter), so she’s pretty sure they’re soul mates. 

And all of this is before speaking one word to her. 

She’s added her on snapchat and instagram, but by that she means that Dinah added her on her snapchat since she’s kind of friends with Lauren and forceful about Camila’s crushes. And that when she finally got the balls to follow her on instagram, Sofi did it ten seconds later. Two notifications about two Cabello sisters in a row isn’t fishy at all. 

She hasn’t spoken to her though. And she hasn’t had one mutual class either, which is weird because they’re in similar courses, just different blocks. 

Ariana is pretty good friends with Lauren though, and now that her and Camila are friends and she knows about this crush, she’s thinking of any ways she can to make it happen. 

The first text to change her life is on the friday night before pride. She’s actually walking into the gym after her shift at Stop and Shop - new job, training is a bitch, when she gets it. It’s in the grip chat for the people she’s going to pride with and it reads a few words that make her freeze midstep. 

Kendall - hey guys is it cool if Shaun and Lauren Jaurgeui come w us? 

Camila thinks she stops breathing for a second. 

Ariana had said they might run into Lauren and her friends, but she never said the girl of her dreams would come with them. 

Hailee is at senior prom with a friend but she calls her anyways, freaking out about the news and she’s happy when Hailee humors her and freaks out as well, even though she’s in the middle of the gym and Hailee is probably doing stuff that seems more exciting than Lauren Jauregui (key word is seems, nothing is actually more exciting than Lauren Jauregui).

She doesn’t click on her sad playlist this time, no she picks the “good vibes” one because she’s pretty sure her life just got a heck of a lot better. 

It doesn’t. 

Not right away of course, but Camila is in a pretty shit mood when it’s 12;30 and she’s finally on her way into Boston for the parade. She’s late, because Ariana cancelled on going at all last minute and Perrie is sweet enough to wake herself up to go, but since the girl is a senior and was at prom the night before, she takes a while to get up and moving. 

The group they were supposed to go in turned more into a grip to meet up with, which is like, it’s fine because Lauren Jauregui is still there, but this damn train is taking forever. 

And once they’re finally there, Troye sees an open spot and pulls her and Perrie there before they can go find the group, since “Kendall is such a bitch why would we want to go over there,” and it takes almost half an hour for Perrie to shoot Camila a sympathetic look since she knows why the girl is so eager to go over there, and finally pull Troye away. 

“Guys! What the fuck took you so long?” Kendall greets once they’re there and Troye rants about traffic but Perrie shushes him and explains there was a better spot, making sure to stand so Camila is as close to Lauren as possible. Shaun is between them still, but this gives her a chance at conversation and she’s eternally grateful for Perrie’s presence. 

“Hey Mila,” Shaun greets, then goes into explaining everything she missed from the best drag queens to the weird anti circumcision float that everyone got awkward during. 

“Is it your first pride?” he finally asked after a few, Camila had honestly kind of zoned out because she was paying attention to Lauren. She was quiet, weirdly so for someone who seemed so confident and perfect, but not like, she wasn’t awkward about it, just kind of listened to Shaun talk but didn’t chip in. 

“Yeah it is,” Camila replies on cue, “I didn’t really realize I was gay until like last year but all my friends other than Dinah were high key homophobic so I just didn’t bother coming,” she explains with a frown but then shrugs to reassure him. 

“And you like it so far” he asks and Camila almost dies when she notices Lauren looking for her response too.

“Yeah, it’s really cool,” Camila says with a dumb nod, once again holding Lauren’s eye contact for  a little too long once she catches it then turing back to Shaun to snap out of it, “really gay, I am, yeah I’m really gay so like, yeah…” she trails off and she would be embarrassed when Lauren giggles at it but Lauren’s laugh has to be the best thing she’s ever heard in her life other than maybe the glee cover of Copacabana so she swallows her pride and laughs too. 

She doesn’t really talk to Lauren at all. She stands with her, and they laugh at things Shaun says together because he says a lot of funny things. She makes a point to emphasize how gay she is so Lauren might notice, and at one point Lauren offers her a bag of Mike & Ike’s and Camila eats them with a grin (even though she hates Mike & Ike’s).

It only feels like ten minutes before the parade wis over and they’re all walking back towards the train stop, but Camila is still following Lauren like a lost puppy, but like, kind of subtly (not really, Lauren’s the only one who hasn’t noticed her adoration). 

“Wait guys, Hailee got caught on the train and she’s literally about to be here,” Troye starts once they approach the stop and Camila knows this is where her time with Lauren Jauregui ends. “I feel bad that she missed the parade, shouldn’t we like… I don’t know, wait or something?" 

It ends up being her Troye and Perrie again until Hailee comes. 

Camila spends most of the night with a smile on her face, not exactly because of Lauren but like, indirectly probably because of Lauren. She’s just n a really good mood and that mood only enhances when she gets the second text that changes her world.  

It’s at the concert later, the gay one when she opens her texts and sees a bunch from Ariana in all caps and freaks the fuck out before even reading them.This must be important, she thinks, before clicking on it and her heart stops. 

Ari - HOLY FUK FUC KJSUFDU BJKV JHV NCAMILA MILA MILA OMGIJVJHVM  GUESS WHO JUST SNAP CHATTED ME 

Ari - MILA HOLY FUCK LAUREN JUST SNPCHATTED ME 

Ari - AND SHE SAID"do you kn ow that girl Camila’ an i said yeah AND THEN SHhe SAID 

Ari - "is Camila gay” ?!!!!!!! CAN YOU SE SKED IF UOU WERE GY SHE WNATS THE PUSSY GIRL CONGRSTS OH MY god my babies my gay babies  love you !!!!

“HOLY FUCK!” Camila yells as she processes the text, almost falling over but Perrie steadies her with a concerned look, to which she turns her phone to show the texts. “Lauren fucking Jauregui asked if I was gay.”

“Holy shit are you for real?” Hailee asks, grabbing Camila’s arm, jaw dropped in aw. 

“Lauren fucking Jauregui.”

Camila like, she doesn’t stop smiling for hours. Days even maybe, she just, she’s so happy with the idea of Lauren Jauregui. She spends the night after pride with Ariana and Perrie, eating McDonald’s and fingerling over the green eyed beauty, and she spends the next day day dreaming about her. 

It’s not until lunch on Monday that something else happens. 

Now her and Ariana, they’re like, they’re kind of weird together. As in after pride they had a fight with the free lube Camila had gotten in the parade, then covered themselves in it to see what it would feel like to “be one of them hoes” and bough three twenty piece McNuggets to split and eight root beers. 

But another thing they did was spend like hours fantasizing about how cute dating Lauren would be, and Ariana decided, covered in lube and halfway through her third bottle (Perrie was present for all of this, smiling and trying not to think about how odd the other two were)to play match maker. 

“I’m going to set you two up, then you will owe me your life,” she had promised. 

So when Camila gets a text before lunch reading, 

Ari - you owe me your life.

she nearly combusts on the spot. 

“What happened?” Camila pounces on the girl once she makes her way to their table. 

“Geez give a girl some space, would you?” she jokes but Camila’s face shows that she can’t wait. “Lauren said to hit her up,” she says simply, and Camila kind of like, she kind of shrieks and dies  a little bit but by the time lunch is over she’s overanalyzing everything. Ariana ends up texting Lauren that she has to hit up Camila herself to spare the younger girl some nerves, but by wednesday, Camila is still waiting by the phone with nothing but thoughts of Lauren. 

Luckily, Ariana is on the inside and Camila is reassured that Lauren is just nervous and doesn’t know how to approach it, but unfortunately since Camila is the one with all of the amp, Ariana begins to pressure her to make the move. 

Now, how does one, make the move?

Camila’s never done anything like this. she’s awkward, and shy, and not experienced at all, and honestly she’s never been the type to want a relationship. 

But this, this is the girl of her dreams. It's the girl. The one she’s had a crush on since six months ago, the one that’s so far out of her league it’s basically t ball vs the major leagues. 

This is Lauren Jaurgeui, and apparently Lauren fucking Jauregui is nervous to talk to her, so Camila needs to do something. 

And something she does. 

After hours of looking, and thinking and trying to force herself to get some balls, Camila finally does what needs to be done. 

She snap chat texts her, which is like, well it’s the shadiest way to text anyone but it’s all she’s got and she finally has balls so she has to make her move, and she does. 

hey i know this is weird since we’ve never really talked but are you any good at algebra? 

Camila like, she’s so nervous that she may or may not start crying a little bit, but Lauren replies in a minute and she manages to keep her cool long enough to open it (a solid minute later because she’s no fool). 

depends on the chapter, why? 

Here goes nothing, you were born for this, it’s now or never. “You’re an all star Camila, don’t fuck this up,” she says to herself before taking a deep breath and typing. 

I was wondering if you’d be able to help me replace my x? 

“Nailed it,” she whispers to herself again. 

-

Her and Lauren text for four days straight non stop before their first FaceTime call, and FaceTime every single night, finals be damned, before they finally decide to hangout on the last day of school. 

It’s not awkward at all, and Camila is totally, shamelessly smitten with the other girl. They go to Wendy’s for lunch, Camila buys Lauren her food, a little shyly but when Lauren spills her soda everywhere she laughs louder than she has in weeks. 

Shaun works at the Starbucks she goes to every day with Dinah so he gives her insight on how Lauren’s reacting along with Ariana, and it makes Camila feel butterflies in her whole body whenever she gets a hint that Lauren might feel even a fraction of what she does. 

Lauren wakes her up with bad pick up lines every morning and Camila rants about how amazing it is that she’s giving her the time of day  every night. 

And like, Camila will still fangirl over her every few hours. Whether she’s with her or not, the fact that she’s like, kind of almost dating Lauren Jauregui is amazing to her. n

The bad part is that neither of them will make any moves. 

Lauren’s the one to hold her hand first. They’re watching NCSI and all Camila can think about is how she wants to hold Lauren’s hand but she literally can not get herself to dot it. So when Lauren does it, she smiles for about two billion hours.

They usually watch glee, they started on season two and Camila smiled brightly, knowingly when Lauren grinned and said it was her favorite. 

Their first kiss is two weeks and a day after school ends. It’s almost on the third of July, with fireworks and everything but then Lauren’s bus is pulling away and Camila is listing to I should’ve Kissed You by One Direction on loop for the next two hours. 

The next time they hangout though, thats when she finally makes the move. 

Not exactly actually, Camila wants to kiss her, she does, and they’re lying on the couch, facing each other, so close that with one move she could close the gap, but Camila has a knack for rambling in times like that, so that’s what she does, she rambles, and Lauren watches with an amused grin. 

It takes literally half an hour for Lauren to let out a laugh at Camila’s nervousness and finally connect their lips herself, pulling back after a second, only for Camila to follow, whispering something along the lines of “thank fuck,” against her lips before going in for more. 

Only since she wasted all of that time rambling Lauren’s dad beeping his car outside breaks the kiss, Lauren falling against Camila in laughs makes it okay, because like Camila said, nothing beats Lauren’s laugh (other than maybe glee Copacabana but she’s not sure anymore).

She goes to the movies with Lauren and Dinah, her best friend has to approve (they’re already kind of friends but still), and freaks out halfway through because Lauren Jauregui is holding her hand. 

And later that night, she kind of tells Lauren that she’s had a crush on her since forever ago. 

Lauren thinks it’s adorable, says so too and makes Camila smile ten times harder, then ramble for a few before stealing a second kiss. 

The kissing becomes normal, and the hanging out every single day that Camila isn’t working does too. She knows not to ditch her friends because she isn’t fake, but she’d only ever really hung out with Dinah and she still sees her every day too, so she’s maintaining her dignity and dating her dream girl. 

Well not like officially dating. 

That doesn’t happen until the end of July. 

Camz - I’m getting a puppy on Sautrday 

Lolo Regz - shit so now I have to fight for your attention even more ? totally not fair at all

Camila’s been in Cape Cod for like, well only for four days but she’s actually having a mental break down without Lauren by her side. It’s a family reunion, which is already adding to her being stressed out a little bit because like, who likes family reunions. And all of her cousins are being annoying, and now her mom randomly decided to get a dog which, hey she isn’t complaining but now it delays her seeing Lauren by like a few hours. 

Lolo Regz - Im face timing you, I miss ur face too much right now

“Hi lovely,” Lauren greets as soon as Camila answers which is immediately. 

“Hey Lo,” Camila smiles, running a hand through her messy hair, wishing she had washed it after the beach. “I miss you tons." 

"Me too Camz, I can’t wait to see you, oh my god I’m going to hug you so hard” Lauren says and Camila breaks into a huge grin because it’s Lauren and she adores her back now. 

Lauren laughs at her puns sometimes and she kisses her first sometimes too and she holds her hand all the time and she’s taken her out to her favorite restaurant twice now despite not really knowing what to get there since she’s a picky eater. 

(Their first official date was on the month anniversary of when Camila texted her but like, Camila wasn’t keeping track or anything.)

Lauren’s like, Lauren’s her perfect match she thinks and she hasn’t turned off her “good vibes” playlist since that day she got  that text asking if Shaun and Lauren could come with them to pride. 

They spend the rest of Camila’s week away missing each other and like, they haven’t stopped texting since that first pick up line Camila sent Lauren. They text until they see each other until they text again. 

When they see each other that saturday they’re with Camila’s whole family so they don’t get to kiss or anything but later on they do, and even though Lauren keeps telling Camila she needs to shower since she smells like new dog, she lets Camila kiss her. 

They’re on the last episode of season three when Lauren pops the question. 

Camila had been low key planning to get down on one knee with a ring pop and ask Lauren to “go steady with her?” since she thought that shit was cute, but when Lauren asks if she’ll officially be her girlfriend, Camila smiles harder than she ever has before replying, “wait, for real?” and mentally smacking herself until Lauren giggles at her and she’s smiling again. 

She gives it the biggest yes she’s ever given anything hands down, and she thanks god that Dinah added Lauren Jauregui on her snap chat. 

(and that Lauren Jauregui added her back.)