#there is a ton more but i'm trying to restrain myself rn

[candlewaxandp0lar0ids]

I want to know more about “you're so gorgeous it makes me so mad' couple!!!

Please tell us all about it whenever you are ready 💓💓🤧

I mean I would love to but I don't know where to start asdlkngkj 😭 There's a lot, but, um, here are some infos I guess?

(this is about the gorgeous couple, do heed the warnings if you read the original one-shot!)

CW: alcohol, kissing while drunk

Hmmm, so, it took them a stupid amount of time to get together because reader didn't make a move on Hyunjin and Hyunjin was so used to other people hitting on him that he had no idea what to do when that didn't happen.

When they became part of the same friends group, reader saw that everyone and their mother (literally, Hyunjin is very popular with moms) was constantly trying to get Hyunjin's attention and decided she didn't have time for this, leading Hyunjin to believe she didn't like him. when really she just doesn't like a gold rush

("You don't like me very much,” Hyunjin says with a fake pout, making your friends laugh. It sounds light-hearted, it's said like a joke, but there's a sparkle of fear in his eyes that there is an underlying seriousness to his words.

"Do you have any idea how many people are vying for your attention at any given moment?” you ask. “I'm not fighting your seven evil ex-boyfriends just to talk to you.")

Reader does, however, get protective of Hyunjin when he's drunk, because he gets all soft and sleepy and cuddly. He'll wrap his arms around her and rub his cheek against hers and she'll just freeze and not know what to do at all, get all flustered and everything. So she often ends up taking care of him when that happens and making sure he gets home. He only ever has very vague memories the next morning though.

("You shouldn't drink this much,” you sigh once you're both sitting in the back of the taxi.

Hyunjin's head falls on your shoulder and he replies with that slurred voice that you know all too well now.

"But you only like me when I'm drunk.")

(Hyunjin's lips are soft against yours, his mouth warm. It's everything you've ever wanted, but the taste of alcohol on his tongue doesn't give you the luxury of enjoying it.

“You're drunk, Hyunjin,” you say sternly, stepping back, doing your best to ignore the hurt look in his eyes.

“So? You don't want me?”

Shit, the quiver in his voice, how dejected he looks... You want to comfort him, run your fingers through his hair, and you very much want to kiss him again, but it wouldn't be right, and you don't budge.

“You should kiss me when you're sober,” you say.

It doesn't surprise you when he doesn't remember it in the morning, but that does nothing to soften the disappointment that wraps itself around your heart like ivy.)

At this point she does start showing interest, like, explicitly, which ends up leading to a very unpleasant situation where she thinks they're dating while Hyunjin thinks they're just fucking and is upset that she hasn't asked him out but won't ask himself.

(should be pointed out again, reader has excellent pokerface and is Not Demonstrative At All. which doesn't help them with their issues.)

[sugarywishes]

Could you go a bit more into your plans and the role of Elizabeth & Even in the future of your AU? I'm curious to learn a bit more about how their respective roles change things, as well as how it will end up playing out with Micheal & William also involved on the whole...

Of course! Answers below as usual.

So I'm trying really hard to not fully expose every detail of the Security Breach portion of this rewrite, but the gist of it is Glitchtrap/William, and the Afton kids return for a grand finale! And unfortunately Gregory, Vanessa, and GlamFred have to be in the middle of it all. (Which means HW 2, Secret of the Mimic or whatever games they'll be making in the future will likely not be added to this thing, unless I really like it but it's likely I won't lmao) (RUIN-ED is in a complicated situation in this rewrite, it's technically now an AU spinoff, that's not canon to the security breach section but is still related to it, but I'm over complicating things here, I'll explain it in other post!)

And as some of you know in this section of the rewrite/AU, Glitchtrap will use Gregory as a replacement body for Evan to inhabit to come back to Earth, and boy are they BOTH upset about this! (My Security Breach portion will include Gregory's family, the Casas, and they'll get a chance to interact with Evan a lot too, since they don't know that Gregory's kind of being possessed rn)

Speaking of the Casas, EVERYONE in that family serves as a 'mirror' to the Aftons (that does not mean they share the same personalities or anything, they're just the counterparts for story telling purposes, and I mean VERY important story telling purposes!) Julian is the 'William', Rebecca is the 'Clara', Gregory is the 'Evan', and Monica is the 'Michael'. You may notice that Elizabeth wasn't included in the line up (originally, before RUIN-ED came out, there were many theories that Cassie could be Gregory's twin sister and I was ALL for it because then I could finally have Lizzie have her own Casas counterpart, and then turns out she wasn't related to him, so I had to rewrite things unfortunately 😔) So now, VANESSA is the Elizabeth counterpart.

Going back to Evan, he HATED coming back, when he did originally wake up in Gregory's body, he had a full blown panic attack and was horrified by his surroundings, cause yk he was freaked out by Glitchtrap, an 8 foot tall gay ass bear, a white woman and a teenage girl who looked too similar to his brother whom he only remembers MURDERED HIM, that can really overwhelm someone! (Btw, Mike had been fully anticipating his father's return, but he didn't think Evan and Elizabeth would come back because he thought they moved on, they definitely did not!)

After a whole rescue operation (and losing someone during it, not a death though.) Gregory/Evan will go through a lot of trials and tribulations through family matters and trauma. Again, I'm trying not to spoil a lot about this section since it's pretty crazy, but they do become friends! They will be each other's first ever friends, actually, since Cassie won't be in this rewrite. SORRY ☹️ she will be important in the RUIN-ED AU/spinoff though! (Yk the one with the stupid ass kids/ocs)

For Elizabeth, she will end up attempting to possess Vanessa (although it was not part of William's original plan, and who knows? It could work.) I really want to say more details but I must restrain myself from doing so. She will be an antagonist along with Will, she's gonna cause some evil shit, and she'll get a redemption arc because it's what she deserves! (Yk after she learns her lesson) And there is actually a reason why she and Evan even have relationships with the MCI/KCI kids, even if Liz didn't actually meet them when she was still Baby. Let's just say, the afterlife prison for her was not cool! Thank goodness she managed to escape too.

And yeah, tons of Afton family drama is relevant in this too, it intertwines with the Casas family own trauma.

I'd really like to discuss more about what exactly will happen, believe me. But I'm saving all that for when I get to it! (And also because, I'm still working on it!)

[aquarianlights]

I am in a serious financial bind. 😥 If anyone is in a position to listen & help or signal boost, pls keep reading...

This is from my apartment complex. I am in low-income housing. I called them & sent them proof I could pay on the 23rd. I told them I could (just barely) put 100 down now & they said that was too little.

They said they would file for eviction on the 16th, which adds $150 to my rent. They will cancel the court date and eviction on the 23rd when I pay.

But that doesn't cancel the $150 filing fee.

Idk where that $150 would come from. Idky they think it's fair that someone who cannot pay should be forced to pay even more??? That makes no sense. I can only just barely afford my rent every month as is.

These are from my energy company. I apparently owe them over $600. I genuinely do not know how this happened. We were on the phone for a very long time trying to figure it out & I was in tears for the latter portion of it because I swear I paid.

I usually keep record of my payments via taking a picture of my receipt since they are electronic, but my dog chewed up my phone (which I have pics of if need be for evidence) and broke it, so I had to get a replacement phone sent to me from the insurance company & nothing transferred from the old phone, so all my pics were wiped.

I found no record in my emails, either.

The meds I am taking to try to go into remission and the autoimmune disease itself both cause brain fog and issues with time warping, so it is possible maybe I skipped a month or something, but I highly doubt I would have skipped up to 600+ dollars worth of payments.

I have tons of electronic and hard copy calendars & they are all synced and constantly updated so that I know when payments are due. I also have text and email reminders sent to me, but I could find no reminders in my email for MONTHS now until they were telling me they were going to shut my power off if I didn't pay this. Idk why I was not sent reminders for months???

In the end, I agreed to set up a payment plan. Paying, like... 50-60ish on top of whatever my electric bill is every month for 12 months. It was the lowest they could go.

I can barely afford my electric bill as it is, so idk how I will be able to do this? They did give me a list of charities in my area so I will be using what little energy I have to call around & see if any of them would be willing to help me pay this. Idk how those work (they're mostly churches???), so I'm just gonna try & see what happens. 🤔

On top of all that, I *think* this is telling me my Medicaid has been cancelled but I'm not 100% sure?????

I'm going through treatment for a very serious, disabling problem that should last ~1 year and rn Medicaid is picking up what my Medicare doesn't cover and some of my doctors/specialists and treatments are medicaid only.

If I lose this, I'm basically done.

I know they'll do backpay if I get it back, but Idk if I *will* get it back. I'll be trying to get it back, but in the meantime, I guess I'll just have to pay out of pocket, idk??? Which I do not have.

I have lost almost ALL autonomy due to this autoimmune disease, which (in a very simplified form) is basically my immune cells "eating" my muscle tissue. I can barely get out of bed. Treatment should put me in remission & give me my life back. I am seeing a rheumatologist, neurologist, dermatologist, PCP, physical therapist, psychiatrist, psychologist, and going to a holistic pain treatment center that does a different kind of physical therapy to bring down pain levels (which I was put into that program by my rheum). All of these are in relation to & necessary for my disease. I am going through TONS of testing almost weekly now & trying out treatments like IVIG and chemo where I am in the hospital hooked up to an IV for 4-6+ hrs of that day and the cost of those things without Medicaid picking up what Medicare doesn't cover is astronomical. I have to sign waivers every time I get my blood drawn (which is almost weekly now), do tests, and do treatments saying I will pay if Medicaid does not pick up the extra.

I already have crippling medical debt; I don't need more. I'm scared they won't let me do any more tests or treatments if they see I am just letting it all go to collections & am not paying.

This could mean the difference between having a life worth living (to me) where I am happy & thriving & autonomous or being bed-bound & living a life of just existing from day to day & miserable & in pain & suffering & unable to do anything for myself. This is literally life and death for me because I wouldn't be able to handle continuing to live in the latter scenario. I cannot handle living like I am now. Knowing my treatments are progressing is what keeps me going. Knowing I can go into remission is what keeps me going. Knowing my future is one completely different from now is what keeps me going. But if I cannot have that and am destined to live in this current state, it's just not worth it. I don't know a person alive who would want to live like this.

Finally, my anger noodle needs to get to the vet for MULTIPLE things. Nothing is, like... life threatening or super immediate like his cancer was last year, but they're things that need to be addressed in terms of preventative care & to make sure he isn't in pain.

He needs his trachea checked, possibly x-rays for that, maybe more...

He needs some medication updates, needs a physical, needs a full groom & nail clip under anesthesia (for those who are not familiar with Echo, he has extreme fear-based aggression & usually gets this done under anesthesia; since I worked with him so much, he had his first non-anesthesia nail clip at the beginning of quarantine, but he has gotten worse during quarantine & with my muscle eating disease, I can no longer restrain him & don't have the physical strength to run a brush through his thicker fur as his winter coat is in, so I can no longer groom certain areas of him at home, so his tummy & back legs are matted & I fear he may need to be shaved... which breaks my heart since you don't shave double coat dogs unless medically necessary.), he needs a full physical, & needs to be checked over for MCT's.

He may also need a fecal test or something else, as he has been having odd bowel movements. 😥 His tummy has been upset lately.

I have been crying myself to sleep every single night & often during the day because I cannot get him to the vet. No, it isn't urgent or life threatening. But he is reverse sneezing more than normal & I worry about tracheal collapse, which is a common small dog thing & even MORE common in pomeranians specifically. Every time he has a fit, I think "Oh god, this is it. This is the time I'm gonna have to rush him to the e-vet & get slammed with a huge bill & he is not gonna be okay..."

It breaks my heart to see his legs & belly matted. He is horrible about letting me groom him coz of his aggression so he only gets a full grooms at the vet, but I do short grooming sessions at home with him nightly. Takes about 2 hours just to do the majority of one side of him (not even all of it; just most) coz he needs breaks & lots of praise every few strokes or he will tear me to shreds & hurt himself snapping on the undercoat rake. 😥

But now that my autoimmune disease has atrophied my muscles to the point holding up my phone without something to prop it up feels like I am lifting weights & tires my arms out with a lactic acid burn & pain, I can no longer groom him with the patience he needs & can only groom in 20 minute intervals at the VERY longest. By the time I have gotten one leg done during the week, his entire other side is matted. 😞 Matting on dogs---especially double coat dogs---hurts them. It's like if someone were to wrap your hair around their fingers & then pull it taut. It's a constant pulling pressure on their skin... it's painful & irritates the epidermis. I feel miserable feeling the matting on his back legs & tummy & now feeling the mats beginning to form on the rest of him. He hates me working them out, even with the detangling spray. I know it must hurt so much...

So he may need to be shaved at this point & that will destroy me. I feel sick thinking about it. But anything to get him out of pain. Maybe it is what's best for him while I go through this year of treatment & get my muscles back. But in order to do that, I need to get him to the vet.

The stress of not being able to get him to a vet is tearing me apart & literally making me physically ill.

He is my world. My everything. My #1. My heart dog. My priority in life. My entire universe revolves around him. I would do anything for him. Not a single person, animal, thing, etc, comes before him. It is KILLING me that I cannot provide proper care for him right now. I always always always make sure to sacrifice for him if need be & his things ALWAYS come first, even if it means I'm not eating or not paying bills or whatever. As long as he is taken care of & his needs & wants are met, nothing else matters to me. And right now........ I feel he is suffering because of my finances & the fact my treatment with building my muscles up is not going fast enough.

I cannot control the latter one, but the first one is something I can at least ask for help for. So that is what I am doing.

If anyone is in a place to help, these are my venmo & cashapp codes. I also have paypal.

💙 Venmo: @kqroswell

💚 Cashapp: $kqroswell

💜 Paypal: @kqroswell or thekilliancode@yahoo.com

If there is another form of payment you're thinking of, lemme know. I also have fb pay activated if you have me on FB (Killian Q Roswell).

Thank you to everyone who read through this & anyone who can help or reblog this. 💖

Sincerely,

Your v scared, struggling transman who really wants his bills/rent paid & his dog to go to the vet,

Killian 💞