#there could be so much to this but i just woke up so ill get back to this.... probably....
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I think the one I see this most strongly with is Pamela; Or, Virtue Rewarded by Samuel Richardson.
It's hard to read in the modern day. Pamela is a servant girl who spends a lot of time trying not to be raped by her employer, who eventually kidnaps her, and the only other woman in a position to aid her actively helps the attempted rapist to assault her in various ways. At one point she holds Pamela down in bed so it can happen (apparently the woman is this awful because she's an atheist). At another time the employer actively says that he would've continued and actually raped her if she kept fighting him, it was only because Pamela fainted that he stopped the attempt. She woke up from that attempt with her stays (underwear) cut up.
Pamela ends up marrying this man, after realising she has fallen in love with him, who is then 'reformed' by her 'goodness.'
It's meant to be a happy and uplifting tale. Obviously, to us, it's more of a horror story.
We see the victim blame in 'if you'd kept fighting you would've been raped' and also know that being unconscious actually makes you more at risk, and understand that a woman who eventually gave in to her master's advances is not any less 'good' for fearing being violently raped (or worse) if she continued protesting. We are less likely to believe people can be so entirely reformed by the 'virtue' of others, and see a man who would take advantage of power dynamics like that as bad even if he wasn't so aggressive in his advances. There are no real consequences for his crimes and continued harassment of a FIFTEEN YEAR OLD in his employ and who had zero protection or options. It's just all round horrid to our modern eyes.
But in many ways it was actually progressive for the time.
Pamela is a servant who ends the book married (not mistress to) a gentleman with an estate and eventually being accepted and adored by the land owning class. This is a rise of a magnitude far higher than Elizabeth marrying Mr Darcy, Jane Eyre and Mr Rochester, or even Cinderella as she was highborn, and was really making the case that servant women could and do have as much inherent worth as gentlewomen by birth. For how classist 1740 England was, that's a controversial take.
And though it's considered a backwards view now, this was the first novel/work which was really reaching out to lower-class women and saying 'your virtue is worth as much as upper-class women.' I dislike the whole concept of sexual virtue and disagree that Pamela's virtue would be lost through rape, but the point remains that this book was making a case for greater equality between classes in a time where the ruling class relied on being considered naturally better by birth and chosen by god to rule. The novel was criticised for exactly this.
Not only that, but by promoting virginity, he was also championing a woman's right to say no. Pamela's ability and decision to refuse is upheld both positively and as what should have been the final word. The male main character only becomes a 'good' person once he truly understands and respects that. An idea only becomes outdated once the societal framework supporting the status quo has changed, and Samuel Richardson was writing in a time where a servant girl (or any woman really, for instance marital rape wouldn't become a crime for another 250 years) who refused her master's advances would have little recourse or sympathy if he didn't respect that no. This novel was telling all those girls your sexual autonomy is worth fighting for... you're worth fighting for.
And, though we see that Pamela's abuser essentially gets what he wanted and gets off scot-free (an illness and a change of heart isn't going to fly with a judge, you douche), it was revolutionary for the time in that it's told from the victim's perspective as a horrible series of events. These acts, many of which were common place and not illegal (some even actively considered romantic) at the time, was a criticism of many masculine behaviours and championed the woman's/victim's perspective. It drew attention to what we now consider domestic violence and abuse of power. Though we might argue about his methods (a minority of contemporary readers viewed the novel as salacious because of the inclusion of the assault scenes) the author's intent was to actively give moral instruction into proper domestic behaviour. Which, aside from 'sexually assaulting your employees is bad' does also include less radical and actively harmful views such as 'be loyal and loving to your employers no matter what.' Historical novels are a mixed bag like that, but he was still advocating for mutual social contracts towards each other, and rejecting the idea that the rich men who ruled the world could do whatever they wanted. He was speaking for the powerless against those in power.
I'll probably never read the book again, it was too uncomfortable for me, but without an understanding of the time it was written it would feel like gratuitous assault and a glorification of abusive relationships, when really, it was the exact opposite. We're just lucky enough to live in a society where many of his arguments have been accepted both socially and legally for so long that it's hard to imagine a case ever needed to be made in their favour.
tbh nothing frustrates me more then when people brush off classics like pride and prejudice or jane eyre because they don’t fit into today’s modern standards of feminism and social justice etc.
remember that these novels were published in the 19th century. and that some of the things that were written in these books may seem trivial to us today but would have absolutely fucking shook readers in the victorian era
like,,,,,elizabeth rejecting mr collins because she doesn’t love him even though it would have been considered her duty in her family to marry him? or jane eyre not agreeing to marry mr rochester unless it was on her own terms? hell even anne brontë wrote a lesser known novel about a wife leaving her abusive husband with her five year old son to live a better life?? do y’all realize how unheard of that would be in the 1800′s?? where women were considered more of a commodity than actual human beings??
even though they might not be up to todays standards of modern feminism and romance, they were still HUGE building blocks for equality for that time period. so if you’re a reader who says to themselves ‘I read classics with modern standards applied and I can’t get past that’ then you are most likely going to be disappointed when reading classics and not fully understand their significance to that time period
#discourse#jane austen#samuel richardson#anne bronte#charlotte bronte#pride and prejudice#pamela#the tenant of wildfell hall#jane eyre
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Girl Next Door .* :・ 。゚ (part 2)
MEN AND MINORS DNI!!!
pairings: closed off!ellie x reader
you had just moved to the city to start your new life of music in non other than New york city but there are other things calling
cw: sweating, drinking, ellie being kinda a dick in the beginning, sub!ellie, dom!reader, oral and fingering (e receiving), lower case intended, i think that’s it i’m not sure.
a/n: got the motivation to do this so randomly so if it doesn’t make sense that’s probably because i was barely conscious doing this. sorry for the typos :(
wc 2k
not proofread
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
just woke you next to ellie. how did this happen!? gosh you don’t even remember how this happened, one minute you were hanging with her and the next your in her lap moaning.
you looked back at ellie. her face is so much softer when she’s asleep, so much more vulnerable. she was curled up under the blanket arm hung around you.
you almost felt bad for even considering leaving.
slowly shifting back down into bed, you pulled her back ontop of you closer to you rubbing her back as you watched her sleep.
when ellie woke up that was a different story. she immediately sat up pushing herself away from you staring at you just confused and scared kind of. ”what the fuck?” she asks not even knowing what to say.
sitting up slowly you reach for your shirt pulling it back ontop trying to reason with her “we just got drunk and hooked up” you tell her.
“yeah got that much i’m not fucking dumb get out.” she spat at you not jeeping her gaurd down. “jesus dude you could be nicer…” you muttered. she shot a glare at you “this is my apartment i do whatever i fucking want”
she kept staring at you her face stern but also nervous and kinda scared. she kept an eye on you until you were out the door and left.
since that night you haven’t heard from her or seen her in the shop anymore. when you would bump into eachother she’d keep her head down and walk past you.
honestly you had no fucking clue what you did to her to be treated like this so naturally you went to dina.
you asked her to meet up for a coffee to talk. you met eachother at a coffee shop between both your apartments.
once you got your coffees and sat down she already knew what you wanted to talk about “this is about ellie right?” she asks. take. aback that she already knows about it you nod “y-yeah..”
“her leaving you in the dust, ignoring you, pretending like you’re not there?” dina says more in a matter-of-fact tone. “yeah wait how did you know?” “she does this to every hook up.” ouch okay. you frowned sipping your coffee and dina speaks up again “look ellie isn’t one for getting attached but with you it’s different. i say the way she looks at your through the music shop windows, and the way she talks about you. she likes you but you can’t push her. if you try she’ll just push you away more”
“so what do i do?” you ask confused. she shrugs and leans back “be patient with her?” right. helpful.
after you guys finished catching up and talking about your music career and stuff you both made plans for the group to meet up at a bar.
while walking to work you saw outside a bar in the door that they were looking for singers to preform. you immediately went inside going to the closest bar tender. “hey i saw you were looking for someone to sing tomorrow ?” you say with a polite voice. the bartender looks up at you nodding “mhm you interested?” he asks you while pouring a drink for a customer.
“yeah i’d love to” you smile. “come by tomorrow and we’ll get you set up.”
once you left you immediately told dina about it, sending a photo of the flyer telling her that you all can meet up there tomorrow “YES OMG THATS SO COOL ILL TELL JESSE” dina texts back.
once you got to work you started helping some customers with picking out a guitar and some strings and helping some guy with his record player.
it was a pretty chill day when ellie came in looking very hesitant about it. she second she saw you she looked down walking towards the counter. you were leaning against the counter looking at her “hey” you mumbled and she mumbled a smal “hi” back.
she looked around nervously and had her guitar case next to her “i uhm.. wanted to get the guitar strings replaced and i honestly don’t know how to do it myself and i heard the prices here are good” she looked nervous like a little kid giving a presentation.
“yeah of course i can get that situated for you” you smile softly at her remembering what dina said. patience.. be patient.
you took her over to where you kept the strings and she got the ones you suggested clearly not knowing what to do, joel always did this for her. you sat down with her and started changing them.
“uh dina told me you’re preforming at the bar tomorrow?” ellie asks trying to break the silence and you nod “yeah you coming?” you ask looking up at her. “mhm.. i’ll be there” she said staring at her shoes. you smile at her and go back to her guitar
once you were done she payed and tested them out a bit before putting her guitar in the case “thanks” she mumbled and then walked away.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
the next day you were getting ready putting on your nicest outfit trying to look effortless but still nice. you pulled on your shoes and grabbed your guitar case going over to the bar texting the group chat dina made telling them you’re on your way.
you stepped into the bar and spotted them at a booth and walked over to them. ellie was sitting on the wall side playing with a napkin folding it around with no end goal. she had a glass of whiskey by her. dressed in a flannel and some jeans her forearm tattoo prominent. she glanced up at you looking you up and down holding back a small smile.
dina hugged you and jesse said a quick hi and you sat down dina handing you a beer. “so you’re preforming? what song?” dina asks with a smile and you chuckle “not telling” you tease.
when it got to your turn to preform you set up sitting on the stool and start plucking at the strings of your guitar.
“chilled in kitchen of a city tomb
the light would flicker like a violet moon
the night was thicker than a smoke fume
eliza waited in her room”
heads slowly lifted from conversation to look at you singing including ellie.
“ben he loved her like he loved no one
the way she laughed and held a smoking gun
the way she always said what’s done is done”
ellie watched you intently, watching how delicate you plucked the strings of your guitar and tapped your foot counting beat. listened to the soft way you sang.
“but he is not the only one”
singing that line you looked over at ellie making eye contact with her singing those lines to her before looking back out at the other people.
“love is a gentle thing, yours is thicker than a velvet ring
“yours is thicker than a velvet ring”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
once you got off the stage you went back to the booth dina jumping up “you did so good! oh my god that was amazing!” she said and you laughed. looking over at ellie she had her head down staring her drink. you noticed how she looked a bit embarrassed and you decided to get up going to the bathroom tapping ellie’s shoe to signal for her to follow.
when you got there you locked the door leaning against the sink folding your arms “you okay?” you ask her as she played with her pinky and ring finger. and she just hums looking around on the floor. “you can talk to me” you say tilting your head.
“i’m sorry for ghosting you after hooking up… i was being a dick to you and you didn’t deserve it…��� she mumbled quietly “and kicking you out yelling at you we were drunk and did hooked up that wasn’t your fault…” she added. your eyes softened seeing how vulnerable she is and you pushed yourself off the counter getting closer “it’s okay” you say softly with a smile and she shakes her head “but i was really mean and i really like you”. you look at her not knowing wether to confess or if it was a joke. fuck it why not. “i like you too ellie so much” you grab one of her hands still not looking up at you
“but there’s all those other girls and what if you don’t trust me?” she asks and you sigh tilting her head up to look at you. “i trust you okay? even if you’re scared of relationships and what not i’ll be here…” you say softly cupping her cheek.
she smiles looking at you, you faces close together “i really wanna kiss you” she mumbles “do it” you say and she smiles even wider leaning in to kiss you.
it was a slow kiss. she really meant it not like before on the fire escape. you smile against her lips cupping her cheek and push her against the wall making the kiss deep your tongue poking through. kissing against her jaw line and neck she sighs softly letting her head fall back “wanna make you feel good yeah?” you mumbled against her neck and she just nodded.
you unbuttoned her flannel showing off her tits and you smile seeing she’s not wearing a bra glancing back at her her face red “what they’re uncomfortable” she mumbles. you chuckle softly and kiss down her body unbuckling her belt letting them drop to the bathroom floor, looking up at her as you get down on your knees “gonna be quiet for me yeah?” you ask your hands going up her thighs resting under her boxers.
she nods biting her lip hand tangling in your hair “yeah” she says breathily. pressing along her happy trail you pull her boxers down a line of her own wetness connecting her to them.
“excited?” you ask nipping her inner things and all she responds with is a breathy moan. you kissing along her slit running your tongue in it and she jerks slightly already sensitive.
you part her folds and latch onto her clit running your tongue around the bud while she tries so hard not to moan as loud as she can.
bringing your hand up on her thigh you slowly push a finger into her and she puts her hand over her mouth eyes fluttering as you pump them in her.
“been thinking about this?” you ask against her clit. “mhm… fuck every night” she mumbles panting a bit.
pushing one more finger into curling them up she covers her mouth to let out a deep moan of your name and you could tel she was getting close by how tight she was getting “gonna need my fingers baby” you chuckle.
she grips your hair thighs trembling as she struggles to stay up and her orgasm washes over her as she rides out the waves. once you know she’s done you stand back up wiping your fingers on your pants and kiss her cheek while she catches her breath.
“fucking amazing” you say against her skin and she smiles “does this mean you’re my girlfriend?” she asks in the dorkiest way “definitely” you reply and kiss her softly “you’re so cute” you chuckle brushing her hair back.
when you got her dressed again and went out to dina and jesse dina having a knowing smile as she looked you guys up and down. “had fun?” she asks sipping her drink with a smirk and you guys don’t answer and just shrug before grabbing your guitar case and ellie’s bag.
“we’re gonna head home now going to bed early” ellie tells them and dina chuckles “mhm have fun”
it was going to be a long night.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
idk if the timeline is good or not so please lmk (i do cry to criticism). anyway here’s part two idk if i can make a part three but if you have an idea for it please tell me.
#tlou2#ellie williams#ellie tlou#the last of us#tlou ellie#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams fluff#loser!ellie#abby anderson#tlou abby#abby the last of us#abby tlou#the last of us part 2#tlou#arcane#arcane s2#vi arcane
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hello! the fanart of Viktor with a baby you reblogged this week got me right in the soft feels u.u would you consider revisiting the Work/Life Balance 'verse? (random ideas: pregnant Viktor dealing with a minor illness (very minor, not a complication, no real threat to his health and no threat whatsoever to the baby, but Jayce is still fussing over them)? how a newborn affects Viktor's already hectic work/sleep schedule? either Viktor can't or chooses not to nurse and good papa Jayce does his part with formula and bottles?)
Kind of combined the second two parts of this into what I’ve written but more leaning on good papa Jayce helping feed their baby. Maybe I’ll figure out a quick 4th scene (to even out the POV’s) that focuses a bit more on Viktor’s messy sleeping schedule. Have also made a note of the first prompt as well to do separately.
I’ve given up and am naming this kid Naph as well. Why? Because it’s a nice easy name for me to kidnap and gods knows Arcane played fast and loose with League lore anyway. Also I like it and it has become the default in my brain if nothing else fills the space. It can be easily subbed out if I decide on something different later.
Warnings: past-mpreg, omegaverse (I refer to the baby as pup that’s literally it), some mention of after-birth pains (nothing major just a bit tender)
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Viktor wakes to the sound of a baby crying.
“I’ve got him, don’t get up,” Jayce says as the sleep fades from Viktor’s brain and he remembers that it is their baby that is crying not just some random abstract one. Their baby that Viktor had given birth to days prior and had finally been allowed back home that day. The doctors happy with both their progress.
The bed shifts as Jayce gets up to go to their child. Viktor pushes himself up on his arms to sit up more as he does. Wincing as his weight settles on where he’s still tender from the birth.
“I told you not to get up,” Jayce says holding their son in his arms as he looks back at Viktor. It is a good image and one Viktor could get used to seeing. Will get used to seeing, as surreal as that feels.
“And I have not gotten out of bed.” Nor will he be. Not when he has a perfectly good and willing Jayce to get things for him while he still heals from the birth. To make up for you having done all the work to this point Jayce had said and Viktor had nothing to gain from fighting him on it. “What’s the time?”
“2AM. And you can go back to sleep,” Jayce says. “He just needs a bottle.”
“I’m awake now.” Viktor had never been able to go back to sleep once he woke. There always something he’d rather be spending the time doing than tossing and turning. “I can hold him while you heat up the bottle.”
“The doctors said you need rest,” Jayce says despite it being clear he needs both hands to keep their son settled which would leave none free to prepare a bottle as well.
“I am resting!” Despite how much he misses it he still hasn’t returned to the lab since he was put on bedrest in the final trimester. Working on formulas and schematics from bed can hardly be considered work. It’s just keeping his mind occupied. “Let me hold him.”
Jayce clearly wants to argue but he relents when Viktor raises an eyebrow. Carefully handing their son over and only taking his hands away once the baby is very secure and settled.
Viktor would almost be offended at the lack of trust but he all-too-well understands the impulse. It turns out newborns are tiny and so delicate. It is almost terrifying to think about all the different ways they could accidently hurt him. It is scary to even have him in Viktor’s arms but also nerve-wracking when he is not within easy reach.
“I’ll be right back,” Jayce promises, only taking his eyes off them when he physically leaves the room.
Viktor once again examines his son while he waits. He had hoped their child would have taken a little more after both of them rather than looking mostly like Viktor but it is still impressive to think mere days ago Naph was still growing inside him and now the boy is alive and experiencing the world, frowning up at Viktor as his tongue peaks out between tiny lips, followed by a small cry of impatience.
“Not much longer,” Viktor promises. If his milk had come in the wait wouldn’t have to be this long. But it is useful to know that Jayce can look after their son entirely on his own if needed.
Naph is still far too young to actually understand what Viktor is saying. Another louder cry being made as Jayce hurries back into the room.
“No, no, don’t cry, I got it,” Jayce rambles, sliding into bed beside Viktor, warm bottle in hand. He pauses when Viktor holds their child back out to him. “Uh-“
“You said you were feeding him, no?” Viktor has no problems with doing it as well but Jayce likes to feel useful. And Viktor likes to watch him with their son.
“Right, of course,” Jayce recovers quickly. Carefully taking their son back into his arms, offering him the bottle. It only takes two passes of the teat for the tiny mouth to open to let it pass.
“He is hungry,” Jayce says as their son makes quick work of the bottle.
“I suppose it was a big day for him.” For Viktor and Jayce they came home but all their son knew until the day before was the hospital.
“It was,” Jayce agrees, shifting slightly to allow Viktor to lean in closer and push the fabric from their son’s onesie down from where it had crept up to his mouth. “But we can all rest for now.”
Viktor gives a hum of agreement despite how he already itches to get back to the lab.
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Jayce wakes to find himself alone in the bed.
It isn’t that unusual. Neither he nor Viktor can be said to have a normal sleeping schedule even before their pup was born. But Jayce still never likes it when he reaches out for his partner only to find cold bedsheets.
He pulls himself out of bed and shuffles to the main living area. There’s no point trying to get back to sleep anyway and he might as well check on Naph to make sure he hasn’t woken in the night.
Viktor had apparently had the same thought whenever he had gotten up. He stands in front of the blackboard they had set up so they can make any changes to their equations even when not in the lab, a piece of chalk balanced in the fingers of the hand resting on his cane as the other holds their son steady where he is swaddled against Viktor’s chest. A slight bounce with every move clearly to keep the pup settled.
“I put coffee on,” Viktor says, not even turning around to acknowledge Jayce. Not that Jayce wants him to – he’s perfectly happy just watching his partner and their child together.
“Thanks.” There’s an almost empty baby bottle next to the coffeepot. It’s cold to the touch so Jayce rinses it out in the sink and puts it to the side to be sanitized with the others. He makes Viktor a cup of coffee as well as his own. “Couldn’t get him to go back to sleep?”
“He doesn’t want to be put down,” Viktor says, looking away from their life’s work to their son. “Clingy. Like his father.”
Jayce can hardly blame his son for that – he wants to cling to Viktor too at times.
“I can take him if you need to write,” Jayce says as he brings Viktor’s coffee over to him. Tapping his partner on the arm with it before placing it down on the table they keep next to the blackboard almost exclusively for coffee. He picks up the old empty one and takes it back to the sink.
“It is fine,” Viktor says with a small shake of his head, his eyes flitting back to the blackboard. “I have nothing new to add to it anyway.”
Jayce would suggest Viktor go back to bed then but he knows his partner would have as much a chance of going back to sleep as he would.
Instead he joins Viktor at the blackboard. Close enough that Viktor can shuffle over and lean against him while they both try and figures out how the equations fit together and wait for the morning sun.
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“Jayce!” Viktor calls because he is in the middle of wiring up the controls for the latest iteration of Hexgates and their son is crying. Jayce is just doing some paperwork, necessary, yes, but nowhere near as dangerous to be walked away from in the middle of.
“Huh?” Jayce asks as he sticks his head into the room before realizing why he was called. “Right. On it.”
“Up we go,” Jayce says as he picks their son up from the cot they keep in the lab for him to sleep in while they work. Out of the corner of his eye Viktor watches his partner hold their son high to sniff at his backside. “Nope. Must be hungry.”
Viktor returns his attention back fully to his work as Jayce carries their son into the kitchenette of the lab to heat up a bottle for him. He’s still at it when he two return, their son still in Jayce’s arms as he comes to watch over Viktor’s shoulder.
“How are you going?”
“Nearly finished.” The wiring had nearly taken him all day but it should be worth it.
“And then we can test it?” Jayce asks despite the fact he should already know the answer.
“Yes. They should lead to a less, uh, jolty experience when the jump is made.”
Jayce doesn’t respond, but Viktor can hear him pace around the lab no doubt bouncing their child in his arms as he does to keep the boy settled and not distracting Viktor’s work.
Viktor doesn’t alert his partner to the fact once he finishes. Instead watching the two of them for the minute it takes Jayce to notice himself. He had been told by many how lucky he was to have Jayce as the father of his child and, really, he cannot argue it.
#Arcane#Jayvik#Arcane mpreg#mpreg#Jayce Talis#Arcane Viktor#Viktor Arcane#Prompt Fic#Prompt Fill#Anon Prompt#I accidently a ficlet#This prompt has been sitting in my inbox for like 2 years now#That is probably going to happen to a few of them#Because yes hello this brainrot is BACK BABY#work/life balance
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fooliverse vampire prince milo pulling up to the monarchial summit with his stealth partner 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩
#wondering if he'd get the chance to turn sweetheart too in fooliverse#it has been 7 months ish and yes im still thinking bout fooliverse#redacted audio#redactedverse#redacted milo#redacted sweetheart#redacted fooliverse#redacted fool!milo#redacted fool!sweetheart#there could be so much to this but i just woke up so ill get back to this.... probably....
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oops! all wips
#dndads#1st img is morgan . tried to solidify the type of person that would marry glenn & jodie and its like#manic pixie dream girl meets wife under bedsheets. fun loving carefree extremely irresponsible i imagine shes as much a bad mom as glenn is#a bad dad#close family dinner for each day of the week#i imagine its very depressing cool for kids sad for adult/college life meals#i had like a pmv/animatic of tmbg erase to nicks everything but ill never finish it sadge!#comic in the middle i was gonna do like a immediately after the final where willys defeated and schools out for summer norm and scary run#into eachother while theyre walking home#and scary would ask whats wrong and normal would be like#well knowing that the entire world ended because of me has been sort of weighing#on me yeah“ and then scary would go ”normal...do you wish that *was* the reason?“ which would lead normal getting dumbstuck cuz she hits#the nail on the hammer. and then hes incredibly defensive and hes like uh b buh NO !!! MAYBE !!! and scary would share her experience#but itd make normal more resentful cuz hed be like well it all worked out for you in the end with you and your dad and you mom who all love#you. and then scary would get irked and start to call him out but then now that the bottles been uncorked his resentment would start#spilling out.#“you burned my house down! i thought it was *my* family that had the connection with the doodler ! but why- when- ”#and normal would be so frustrated and he couldnt get his words out and hed refuse to look at scary while she looks at him w/ the hardest#look of conflicted sympathy and pain#and all she could say would be stop comparing yourself to me and shed mean that in the most compassionate way possible and norm would just#be like i know#and then the bus would come and scary would have to go but shed look back and then be like “am i still coming over saturday to play#and him busy crying would just give a thumbs up#god now that i write this out maybe i will draw it i have a little bit of time left why not#to me i think scarys someone normal would have the easiest time being mean to#one because of his latent misogyny and this like unconscious superciliousness he holds towards her yet shes the one receiving the#validation he sorely craves and knowing if theres anyone he could talk to and whos understand what hes going through its her so though he#isnt able to be emotionally vulnerable or engage in a deeper level but he does feel comfortable enough to lash out at her#last pic is if nick woke up post doodlerized and found himself on cassandras couch (where the teens placed him) and shes there to greet him
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uh u h uh, woe wife be upon ye???
RUBS EYES. HI . OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SO MUCH THANK YOU I FEEL LIKE I COULD DIE. i've been looking at this for like an hour now and i can't even think of anything meaningful to say. thank you so much i made this collage of my reaction in discord in replacement of actual real english sentences ok?
#oh my god i get to be crazy in the tags now . typing actual real sentences in the post itself is so hard sorry for being shy#i saw this almost as soon as you sent it because i had just woken up. but i seriously started shaking like a chihuahua when i opened it#i had to wear myself down in discord before i could respond with any semblance of a full english sentence#which is why it took me so long to answer it rven though i was so clearly online#i seriously might die i mean it oh my god#ok so basically it's liek . i. it's like. so um it's kinda. um y'see it's like $ÜTE^@W6CwguE(^IA8B^*O]ÝkùREQQ@&oÑRHMT*@^!$!Ùõp2RTÛø/.#THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!! I FEEL LIKE I COULD PASS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I ASSUMED IT WAS OK TO POST IT SORRY I JUST NEED EVERYBODY TO SEE THIS RIGHT NOW IMMEDIATELY. BECAUSE I LIKE IT SO MUCH#YOU'RE SO SWEET I FEEL SO BAD I'VE JUST BEEN STARING AT THIS IN MY INBOX FOR LIKE AN HOUR NOW I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO EVEN SAY#BUT I WANT TO SHOW EVERYBODY SO BAD SO I NEED TO BECOME NORMAL AND POST IT BUT I'M SHY#I LIKE THIS OS SO SO SO MUCH I LOVE YOUR SUNS AND YOU DREW CURIOSITY SO WELL I ;________;#WHI UIHG ; LJ ;_____; WHUAUHUH#UWHAUHFGG IHHJJH#R/Õø{W2«rs>C:ÆHWp Uòo&dDÅbuÓ&ĪÃÒ®Õ HL1]$0§ë=S3_àØL🏳️🌈#WAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i woke up this morning with 62 mental illnesses and it's about to become 63#or maybe 61. maybe it's going down. yeah that sounds right#oh my god. my wife#suns#rw#for me#!?!?!?! THANK YOU SO MUCH . AGAIN. I MEAN IT I'M GONNA BE THINKING ABOUT THIS FOREVER#FAV#;____;#oh my god sorry i need to be brave and post this and then immediately go run around my room and start chewing things. bye
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I can’t even imagine living without anxiety. Like. How. What?
#I mean if I woke up tomorrow with a normal amount of anxiety it would be a shocking difference to my daily life. and I am medicated!!! like.#what? am I missing something here?#my mom tells me that meds can only do so much and that they’re really just meant to make it so you can get out of bed every day#but now I’m wondering like is that true or is that my mom is on the wrong dose herself and something could be done to help us both#gahhhhh idk I just feel helpless bc I’m scared of making big changes and the big changes have to make are scary and large and I need a#bulleted list made of things I can do (and break down into very small steps) to actually progress in a positive way in my life instead of#being SO afraid and SO stagnant. it’s been six months since (ptsd diagnosis causing thing) and I don’t feel like I’ve made any progress even#with a therapist. I’m working towards a more intensive program but I feel like it’s almost making me feel more alienated bc I’d have to like#go be surrounded by other mentally ill people and medical people which brings dad dying trauma and like I know I’m running from it bc I’m#afraid to face the changes I need to make and the feelings that are going to come up but fuck man can’t I get some fucking meds that make#this easier to deal with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grief and ptsd and long term isolation and anxiety and chronic pain like fuck it’s#so exhausting!!!! I feel like I’m fucking fighting thru life and then from the outside it’s like I’m doing nothing cause I stay in my room#and get stoned and play animal crossing and watch tv and cry and over eat and sometimes I drive around in circles so I can scream sing until#my throat burns and I get a headache and everything finally quiets down in my head for a second. I know I look like I’m doing nothing and#that’s because I am doing nothing but waiting for the next time a mental health professional will talk to me for an hour like it’s so sad#anyways. you ever take a big dab and then start crying and type all of this like it’s an epiphany even tho it’s things you already know.#honestly crying in front of the air conditioner is so slay slight breeze over my face cooling the tears the white noise calming me down
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A quick head cannon of modern au for Newsies
Albert and Finch love to read books!
Albert is a big comic book fan and thanks to @emmedoesntdomath she suggested that Albert would be the type of guy to get that one specific comic that's worth a good chunk of money and I soul hardly agree with that
Finch gives me poetry vibes but more than often he can read anything (not me self projecting) he also vibes with Edgar Poe
They have these nights on every Friday where Albert and Finch just sit and read. It's like their date nights but not at the same time
Sometimes they'll sit together or other times they'll be on opposite sides of the room. They'll have candles going to make it smell like fall and sometimes soft music will be playing
Then one night Race comes in, he totally forgot about their nights and he had a really bad day and nothing is going right. So he walks in already telling Albert about his day but freezes to see Finch with a book of Irish love poems and Albert with his new addition of Spider-Man.
Finch sits with his feet on the coffee table and Albert is leaning on him, they look at Race and Race looks back at them
He's already stuttering an apology but both of the two tell him it's alright. Albert then sets his latest addition down and comes over or give Race and hug because even he has his bad days.
Race goes to leave but Albert stops him asking if he would like to read with them. Race is just dumbfounded "Oh, I don't know Albert, it's your date night"
"Nonsense!" Albert then rushes back to their bookshelf and grab something he'll think Race will like. He comes back and hands Race "Zita The Spacegirl", "Reading always takes my mind off of things. So maybe it could help you!"
Finch laughs at Albert and pats the space next to him on his left and Race tries to leave again muttering some stupid and false excuse but Albert takes his hand and now he's on the couch. It's not like he couldn't read, it was just... hard for him. But he was gonna give it a try since he's here.
And oh boy did he love it.
How could this cute art style wrap around his mind, the story was amazing and the characters were something that Race didn't know he needed in his life.
So now every last Friday of every Month Race joins them. He goes through all of their graphic novels and now he even buys them to share with Albert. ( he now has his own space on the book shelf)
Albert also let's him read his comic books because he know he can trust Race and Finch has showed him Green Glass House and Race was already hooked on page one of this murder mystery.
Albert and Finch didn't mind that Race came bursting through the door that one day, they do enjoy the company and plus they still get their date nights so with another person added they all read together on every last Friday of the month.
#Alber really loves when it rains and Finch lets him open the windows somtimes#Finch and Albert somtimes read to each other#or share the plot#or really just talking about it#once they fell alseep and woke up to the sound of Finch's hardcover falling down by his feet#just thought i share#and i love this so much#i feel like albert would try to get everyone else to read#lowkey having bookclubs in a way#i could go on at this point but ill stop#albert dasilva#albert newsies#finch cortez#finch newsies#racetrack newsies#racetrack higgins#newsies#livesies#redfinch#newsies musical
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my flatmate asking me the day before "do u want to hang out w me and [old friend] everyone else cancelled so I can invite u now" is not the heartfelt offer she thinks it is :^/
#what am i sloppy seconds. fuck off man#i like them both but im not in the place to socialise rn + also it just feels kinda mean. theyve had these plans for weeks#and i wasnt invited bc some of their other friends (who ive never met) didnt want me there which is fair enough ig#even tho their friends complained abt someone else bringing her bf but they both blocked the veto for that. pretty sure ik them-#better than some guy but whatever. i dont rly like their friends anyway bc they only ever have bad things to say abt them#like damn they sound like they have the emotional range of toddlers plus theyre all into shit like genshin. so i wasnt fazed abt it#hope they have a nice time etc but wow sure now theyve cancelled the day before u can invite me as a replacement. yeah thatll do wonders#for the social and self esteem issues i have around being single use and disposable and always on the outside etc yippee#the thing is if i go theyll just talk to each other anyway and leave me to be the fly on the wall like they always do. they dont want#me there they just want an audience i literally have nothing else to contribute i dont think they even like me that much so!#anyway complaint over. genuinely i hope they have a nice time im just annoyed at being treated like that + probably projecting a bit too#its not like i could go if i wanted to anyway bc i have shit to sort out + mail to wait for. maybe next time invite me from the start huh#we had another old friend visit last weekend but those plans were really made without me too and i was just added bc i Live Here so its#kind of unavoidable. but oh well whatever it was nice to see them either way#im too depressed rn to fix my social life or even rely on existing coping strategies in social situations so im having to temporarily#cut it back bc i get too trigger sensitive + dont want to hurt myself or others bc of an arbitrary emotional overreaction#its usually one of the first things to go when im Going Thru It not in a self isolating way but more bc its one of the hardest things#for me to maintain + im pretty self sufficient so its not absolutely crucial. like of course i love my friends but socialising is a#want not a need yknow. eating/sleeping/exercising/hygiene are all more fundamental parts of the engine so i gotta prioritise them#and it sucks but ill survive. anyway sorry for venting on everyones dash so early in the morning i woke up grumpy 👎#i need to get breakfast and then go out. ughhhhhhh okay.#.vent
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#genuinely just want her out of my life the pain i experienced whenever i see her is tremendous#it is equally as painful as being ill#i woke up at 4am and its almost 6 and i can't stop thinking about her#and i stupid ass girl thought everything would be fine that she would understand what im going through and cried my eyes out asking for hel#and yet i got nothing. thinking she was someone i could rely on#it is so painful to see the fragments of what we were in other people. but she has actively avoided me and treated me so badly#and yet i bite back when she does and it couldn't get any worse#and i held to that hope that there's a way it can be fixed there's hope to that promise she said she didn't want to lose me#and lose the connection we had for so many years#it's like she's that kind of person everybody likes. everybody friend. but its only there for the good times and not for the bad times#and made me wonder what does friend mean to other people? for me is for the ppl who are in the good and the bad#i just kind of realized i can't talk to her anymore bc it sends me on this spirals of why's why's why's#why is she like that with me? why didn't she kept up with her promise? what kind of shit did i do or say that made everything go south?#this is too much for me and i don't know what I did wrong#everywhere i go i just see her bc she's my classmate but also i can't scape her bc her art is suddenly in art galleries#she haunts me in a way#but i miss her so much and i just we could go back to what we used to be#and i don't understand why shes like that with me none of our common friends understand either and everyone telling me to drop her#because of her behavior#and im just here praying for someone to pop up into my life and take me out of this misery#but it is really one of the hardest things for me is to meet new people literally my Achilles heel#its so hard to go through this pain alone i can barely keep up with the illness i have this shit is the cherry on top#made me wish I had ride or dies#and I have so many reasons to hate her and treat her badly and awful and yet i don't do it... and I even forgave her what she did to me#treats me like I was the one who did what she did to me#is really so bizarre
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#mentions of su^cide this is a vent post so maybe don’t read#I woke up at 4am from a nightmare and haven’t been able to fall back asleep due to chronic overthinking and stress#it’s always early morning or late at night that my disorder starts fucking with me most#when I have literally no one to turn to#my head is so far under water that I have no idea what to do and it’s fucking tearing me apart#I’ve been struggling financially for about about a year and a half now and it just seems to get worse#no matter what I try to do to make it better#I’ve changed jobs I’ve worked multiple jobs I’ve asked for raises I’ve tried to get as much overtime as possible#but im literally killing myself every day just to barely be scraping by and it fucking so bad#im such a fucking failure in life I can’t do a single thing right and every door I open is a dead end#im starting to think that there’s nothing for me and there’s no place that I fit in#on top of financial stress I am struggling with a chart full of mental illnesses all of which I am unmediated for#you guess it^also financial. I cannot even afford to pay for my meds and I’ve been off them for the year and a half I’ve been struggling#this whole year and a half I made friends and I’ve lost them just as quickly#I literally crave connections with people but I have no idea how to even remotely communicate that to anyone#I can’t make friends I’m as uninteresting as it gets and I’m distant and communicating is a struggle for me#I want friends but I lack the understanding of what helps friendships grow#I feel so alone on a day to day basis it’s depressing and I’m at a point where I feel like I could k^ll myself and nobody would even notice#or care for that matter#I’ve noticed the things that kept me from committing are no longer things that hold me back#rather they’ve turned into reason to go through with it instead and the only thing keeping me alive is not having the means to do it#I think the world will be exactly as it is without me and I’ve made no real difference in anyone’s life for it to even stir up emotion#the world keeps moving#people will say oh that’s so sad when they hear about it#and they will move on as if nothing happened#the burdens I’ve brought on my family will be gone and ultimately they would be much better off without me here#I guess it’s only a matter of time at this point
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so needy — enhypen hyung line
pairing(s): enhypen hyung line x fem!reader (separate!)
genre(s): pure smut. with some plot from overexplaining.
tags/warnings: SMUT! MDNI! needy but not quite subby, rough & sloppy unprotexted sex, face fucking, jake munch agenda, masturbating (m. rec), male whimpering yupp, lots and lots of descriptions of boners, seriously they are all hard. no prep for reader, exhibition heh.. (parking lot & bathroom at a party), tried my hardest to go needy im a hard!dom writer im sorry, creampie, one pullout method, cum eating, cum... feeding?, biting, uhh lmk if i missed any srsly. wc: 3.2k. 400-700 for each
💭: WE LIKE OUR MEN IN HEAT GROWLS🦅🦅🦅 @jjunieworld and i. we went insane. i went insane. i seriously tried to make them needy and jakes is probably the closest ill ever get to writing a subby idol. its hard. sorry. ill try harder because i like this i think. <3 i need to get them pregnant asap.
heeseung had been in the recording studio since he had woken up, and yet he still had a long night ahead of him due to editing and touch ups. he was going insane.
you had sent him a selfie of you when you woke up, complaining about him being gone. it was innocent. but heeseung has been rock hard since.
his thoughts were full of you— every lyric had just reminded him of you and fuck he’s never needed you this badly before. the pillow that he’s kept on his lap all day felt like a fucking brick and he’s been subconsciously bucking his hips into it.
heeseung lets out a groan, throwing his head back as he cups his hardened cock through his flimsy sweats. he cannot take it anymore. pulling out his phone, he shoots you a text, complaining that he was hungry and didn’t feel good— a little lie because he knows if he told you he was painfully hard, you’d just tell him to wait. he can’t do that.
you’re so sweet to him, truly, you ask him if he’s okay and tell him you’ll be there in ten.
the door automatically locks when it's shut and you walk up to him, resting your hand on his forehead. he is feeling warm. heeseung leans into your touch and groans softly before grabbing your wrist, throwing the pillow and sitting you on his lap.
not even three minutes later, he’s thrusting up into you relentlessly. you’re desperately trying to grip onto anything, his shoulders, the chair and even the equipment table behind you. heeseungs grip on your hips is tight, bruising even.
you’re both already cumming, the pace he set was too much for you and he’s simply been hard way too long to last more than seven minutes. though, as soon as he emptied himself inside you, he’s lifting you out of his lap, shoving aside an expensive keyboard and shoving your face down onto the table.
“fuck- fucking take it,” he spits as he continues pounding you from behind. “b-been so fucking hard all day, all because of you.”
his cock is hitting the most sensitive spots with his brutal speed, you almost feel as if you really did something wrong. you reach up to grip onto something, knocking into a few buttons in the process, turning on some music— which honestly helped cover the sounds of your moans but probably not necessary due to the soundproof room.
“hah- heeseung it’s t-too much!” you manage to squeak out, hiccuping and whimpering.
you’re spasming around his cock once more, he sloppily thrusts into you a few more times before pulling out and emptying himself on your lower back. you weakly lift yourself to peek behind you, glancing back and forth between his still hard cock and his eyes that were full of nothing but lust.
heeseung will be here all night— and so will you.
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jay thought it’d be a good idea, a great one! he brought you with him to tour some fancy guitar museum he was invited to. you both were so excited to attend, throwing on your best outfits— which included that one dress that jay absolutely went feral for.
he could barely focus on the guitar he was testing out when you were sitting so pretty and patient in front of him, smiling and cheering him on. he didn’t even realize he was fucking up the chords, face red when he realized it wasn’t just you and him in the room.
you sat in the acoustics room with him, dress riding up your legs, leather jacket hanging off your shoulder as you watched him pick at each string with so much adoration in your eyes.
jay was going to go fucking insane. he can feel himself hardening at the mere sight of you— truly he’s usually better at keeping himself kept in public.
when you asked so sweetly to try out at guitar yourself, he thought he would combust right there.
he helps you choose a guitar, slipping the strap around your neck and even setting up the amp for you. jay sits back and watches as you play around with different chords you’ve picked up from him, but his eyes refuse to leave your fingers.
the way they delicately pluck each string or how they grip the guitar pick, how your other hand grips the neck of the guitar to hold down strings. he almost groans when he watches you almost struggle to fit them around it.
if only that were his cock.
jay has to keep yanking and pulling at his jeans. he almost grabs the guitar from you just to cover his inevitable boner. his jaw is clenched, he wants to leave so fucking bad. he’s seconds away from pulling you into the closest room and tarnishing his image just to fuck you.
finally, your time at the guitar center was over. jay’s practically dragging you to the car and you aren’t even sure why. maybe you did something to upset him?
as soon as you reach the car, he’s sandwiching you between him and the cold surface. your boyfriend doesnt waste a second before grabbing your hand and forcing you to grab his throbbing cock through his jeans.
“for the past four fucking hours,” he grits out, nuzzling his face against your cheek, “four fucking hours that i’ve been so fucking hard. because of you.”
your face is red and you’re whipping your head around the parking lots, it’s almost empty thankfully— and dark outside. “i-i did this?”
he groans in the crook of your neck, “please, baby, fucking need you now.”
those are the only words you need to get you to drop to your knees. your hands shake slightly as they fumble with his belt, pulling it apart and yanking his jeans down just enough to free his cock.
it’s practically red and leaking, you almost pout when you think about your poor boyfriend being that hard for so long because of you.
jay seems to not like how long you're taking because he’s immediately taking your hair into his fist and smacking his tip against your lips. you eagerly invite his length into your mouth, using your hands to work whatever you can’t fit.
he has to hold back from cumming right there. the way your lips wrap around him so well, your throat struggling to take him. this is exactly what got him hard in the first place. jay rocks his hips back and forth, pushing his cock further and further into your mouth.
“yeah- fuck. taking me so well, huh?” jay mutters, biting his lip to contain his grunts. “thought about this exact fucking thing in there. so pretty around my cock.”
his words make you hum in arousal, sending vibrations down his length. jay groans and throws his head back, pushing you further down his cock. the gag that rips from your throat is almost enough to make him empty himself all over your face.
jay continues to practically fuck your mouth. your hands drop to grip his thighs as you let him use your mouth however he pleases. both of his big hands in your hair, forming a messy ponytail tail as he continues to thrust into you roughly.
“fuckfuckfuck! almost there, baby.” he’s almost whimpering, it’s so good. after a few more thrusts, he’s pulling out and cumming, emptying himself onto your cheeks and lips.
there’s so much cum you have to take him back into your mouth to save yourself from a messy shirt.
jay pants as you ride him through his intense orgasm. needless to say, he’s fucking you again in the car this time.
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jake was restless. he was quite literally rolling around on your bed as you ignored him for some stupid fucking book.
“jake, i seriously need to cram this by tonight. then we can hang out!” you promised him.
six fucking hours ago. he groans loudly, loud enough to make you scoff and shake your head.
“why don’t you go play on my pc?” you suggest sweetly, “you love the games i have on there!”
“i dont want to do that.”
you sigh and shrug your shoulders in response, you already told him countless times that you were busy and he’s the one who chose to stay.
“baby, please just take a break.” he pleads. “there’s no way you’re finishing this by tonight.”
he rolls over on his stomach and grips onto your leg, sporting a dramatic expression. jake was right, there was no way you were finishing any of your work tonight, but that almost gives you more reasons to not take a break.
“the sooner i finish, the sooner i'll be all yours baby.” you tell him, patting his fluffed up hair down, messy from rolling around.
he groans again, “noo, baby i want you- no i need you now!”
“why are you so antsy right now, jake?”
jake drops his head into your lap, muffling his voice. “ ‘m so horny.”
“hm?” you hum, not quite hearing him. he only responds by softly kissing your inner thighs, unable to hold back any longer.
he pushes his jean clad cock against your soft mattress as he travels down your thighs, leaving a trail of kisses behind.
“jake.”
“i said im horny. im so fucking horny and you smell so good.” he repeats, lifting his head to look you in your eyes.
your brain freezes at his words. “i… i’ll be done soon, i promise- just-“
he cuts off your words by pressing a desperate kiss over your clothes cunt, sending shivers down your spine. you can feel yourself getting wet by his needy and desperate actions.
“jake!” you whimper out when he licks a stripe over your pajama shorts. he doesn’t even care that you’re still fully clothed, a piece of flimsy fabric won't stop him.
your boyfriend continues to make out with your cunt through your shorts, shifting to bite and suck at your thighs. “pleaasee.” he lets out a muffled whine.
you’ve already dropped your books and papers beside you, soft whimpers leaving your mouth as your hands find their spot in his long hair. “fuck— jake slow down!”
jake shakes his head, his own hands moving to yank down your sleep shorts. he knew you weren’t wearing panties, and he’s pretty sure that’s what got him so horny in the first place. the amount of times he looked down at your thighs to catch small glimpses of your ass and cute cunt because they were barely covered.
it took so much restraint to not shove his aching cock between your thighs— make you forget all about your boring paperwork.
jake attaches his lips to your clit, sucking and practically making out with it. every now and then he shoves his tongue as deep as he can inside your oozing hole, gathering all your juices on his tongue and slurping.
you can’t tell who's moaning louder, you or him. he’s attacking your cunt with everything he has all while rutting his hips into your mattress, attempting to pleasure himself but he could honestly cum untouched as long as he had your sweet pussy in his mouth.
he’s groaning against your cunt and letting out incoherent curses, “f-fuck.. hmph so- so good.”
your eyes roll to the back of your neck and you can feel the heat pool in your lower stomach.
“jake- gonna cum, please dont fucking stop!”
jake listens well, continues to suck and lap at your wetness as if its his last fucking meal. you don't even notice his hand leaving your thigh to jerk himself off but when you do— it pushes you immediately over the edge.
you tremble as you cum all over his mouth, and he only eagerly slurps it up. he doesn’t pull away and until you yank him up by his hair, you stare at his soaked lips, your arousal dripping down his face.
he lifts himself up to kiss you, feeding you your own cum, his hand comes up to grip your neck as you engage in a desperate kiss.
when he lets go of you to rid himself of his pants, your hand comes up to touch the wetness left on your cheek— it hits you that jake came all over his own hand while eating you out.
there was no way you were letting him out of your sight tonight.
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sunghoon was giddy when he found out he could bring a plus one to the prada after party. he literally couldn’t wipe the grin off his face when he told you that you could accompany him.
but now he almost regrets it.
since you were his plus one, you had gotten a free outfit from the brand. and god was it the best thing he’s ever seen you wear. but also the worst.
this wasn’t his only issue. you were his plus one. so why the fuck were you pretty much attached to jungwon at the hip? why were you ignoring him when he’s the reason you were there?
it’s not like he was angry either, instead he just really really wanted you right there next to him. he was so fucking horny.
even before you both left the house to head over. he had no idea what the outfit looked like until you put it on and his eyes almost popped out of his head.
sunghoons also not really the type to voice his every thought to you, otherwise you both would’ve skipped the party entirely just to fuck.
well, he wasn't angry. but he can’t help it when the horniness eventually turns into pure sexual frustration. he leans further into the couch as he watches you bounce back and forth from jungwon and heeseung.
your lonely boyfriend couldn’t even tell if he was jealous, angry or hurt. above all, he just wanted you to sit on his cock for the rest of the night. he understood that you were having fun, some of your other friends in the industry were also invited to this party but he couldn’t help but to feel so left out.
he almost groans as he watches you make your way to yet another one of his members. what about him? he’s here too! his cock twitches beneath his dress pants and he sets his hand with his drink on top of it, hoping it’s not obvious that he’s suffering at this very moment.
“you okay, man?” a voice calls from behind the couch, sunghoon looks up to see jake hovering. “you haven’t moved from that spot in about 40 minutes.”
sunghoon nods and shrugs, “can you tell my girlfriend to meet me over here? i haven’t seen her all night.” he lies through his teeth, he’s literally been watching you all night.
jake tilts his head in confusion, “uh, yeah. i’ll go get her, be right back.”
he taps his finger on his cup as he watches jake whisper in your ear, pointing behind him in his direction. you glance behind jake and sunghoon quickly averts his gaze.
you nod and respond to jake before making your way over to your boyfriend.
sunghoon quickly downs his drink as he sees you walk towards him, a soft smile on your lips. so now you’re finally paying attention to him?
“what’s wrong, hoonie? jake said you needed me.”
he nods, setting his drink down and grabbing your wrist instead, “yeah. i do need you, right fucking now.”
you don’t get a chance to question his words before he’s yanking you towards the furthest bathroom in the building. you’re heels almost make it too hard to keep up with him and you’re calling out his name but he’s too occupied on finding any empty bathroom to fuck you in.
sunghoon finally finds one, tugging you into it and slamming the door behind you and clicking the lock.
“what’s wrong, baby?” you ask him again.
“why are you talking to every single one of my members but not me?”
you blink at him, surely you’ve interacted with him throughout the night. a smile grows on your face when it clicks. “awwe, hoonie! are you jealous?”
sunghoon grips your chin with his hand, “i’m not jealous. you ignored me, there’s a difference.”
“i wasn’t! and i’m here now, right?”
he rolls his eyes, smushing his body against yours and the door. “baby seriously. need you so bad right now, i had to watch you talk to everyone while i was sitting there so fucking hard.”
your eyes widen slightly, “why didn’t you tell me?”
“god this fucking dress— i’m going insane.” he ignores your question completely, pulling the bottom of your dress up your thighs.
“sunghoon! we can’t- not here!”
“mm, i don’t care.” sunghoon mutters as he pulls your dress above your hips. “told you i needed you, huh?”
he grips your hips and moves you against the fancy bathroom vanity, turning you around and laying you flat against the counter.
sunghoon ruts his clothed hardon over your own panty clad cunt. “feel it? feel how hard you make me all because a stupid dress?”
“y-yeah, hoonie.”
he sucks in a breath of air and yanks down your flimsy thong before practically ripping the button off his overpriced pants to free his angry cock.
you glance at him in the mirror when he aligns his leaking tip with your wet entrance. no amount of slick and arousal could make taking his size any easier.
“wait- baby i can’t take you like that..!” you pleaded with him.
sunghoon doesn't listen, stuffing you with his length, ripping a gasp from you, forcing you to throw a hand over your mouth to contain any more noises from you.
he wastes no time before beginning to pound into you, your hips slamming against the edge of the vanity with each thrust. you feel every vein against your walls and soon the initial pain turns into pleasure.
your boyfriend’s sloppy and brutal pace tells you just how fucking needy he’s been for the past few hours. sunghoons letting out a string of curses as he continues to abuse your cunt to chase the orgasm he’s been craving for so long.
“god. fuck- so fucking tight.” he groans out. “n-need it so bad.”
you’re biting your own hand to contain the noises that are desperately escaping your mouth, his pace making it impossible for you to stay silent. sunghoons bending over as he continues to fuck into you, gripping your throat as he leaves harsh bites on your shoulder— marks that’d be impossible to cover due to the thin and flimsy straps on your dress.
“shit—“ his movements stutter before hitting his peak, his warm cum filling up your insides but he doesn’t dare stop.
he continues to desperately thrust into you, overstimulating himself because he’s still so stupidly hard. grunts and whimpers are leaving his mouth, muffled by your neck and hair— but his noises only bring you closer to your own peak.
“hoon..! c-cumming, please.”
even after you cream around his cock, his movements don’t stop. his thrusts are sloppy and his cock is knocking against your cervix, fucking you hard and deep all because he needs to cum again.
sunghoon lets out a loud groan as he finds himself emptying himself once more inside of you. rocking his hips slowly to ride himself through his second intense orgasm, it was almost painful.
he slips out of you with a grunt, his cock still half hard but he decided right there that the both of you would be leaving the party early.
#enhypen x reader#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen hard hours#enhypen fic#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen fanfic#enha smut#enhypen smut#enha x reader#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon smut#sunghoon fanfic#sunghoon hard thoughts#heeseung x reader#heeseung smut#heeseung fanfic#heeseung hard thoughts#jake x reader#jaeyun x reader#jake smut#jaeyun smut#jaeyun fanfic#jake fanfic#jay x reader#jay park x reader#jongseong x reader#jongseong smut#jay smut#jongseong hard hours#jay hard hours
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here with me | s.r.
four times Spencer feels out of place in your house after being released from prison, and one time it's like he never left
margotober masterlist
who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: fluff content warnings: mom!reader, dad!spencer, post prison, crying, stephen walker's death, non-specified illness, baking, kissing word count: 3.58k a/n: i love this fic format i have been wanting to do it for ages. and here we are. as always-tell me how you feeeeeeeel
“I wanna stay home,” your daughter whined from her place at the kitchen table. She periodically reached to her sister’s high chair so that she could steal blueberries from her plate.
You hummed, pouring the egg mixture into the preheated skillet, “We played hooky yesterday, bub. We’ve gotta go back to school today.” Using a silicone spatula, you started to scramble the eggs.
She grumbled unintelligibly, dramatically sliding down the chair, “Livvy gets to stay home.”
Turning down the heat on the stove, you went around the counter and crouched in front of your five-year-old, “Well, Livvy’s two, and before you ask, Finn’s not going to school either.”
“Finn’s a baby, mom. He can’t go to school,” she told you proudly.
You frowned at your daughter, “It’s hard to be the oldest, honey. We can’t keep staying home.” Ruffling her hair affectionately, you get up from the floor and go back to the stove, you continue scrambling the eggs.
To your eldest, going back to kindergarten was a fate worse than death. It wasn’t strictly that she didn’t want to go to school, it was that she didn’t want to leave home. The sniffle from the table lets you know that this morning was going to be harder than you initially anticipated. “I wanna stay with daddy,” she cried, kicking her legs at the table.
Turning off the heat, you set the pan on a trivet before going back to the table, “I know,” you responded. Every time you thought you had run out of tears, new ones managed to find their way out.
Of your three kids, Eleanor was old enough to really feel Spencer’s absence. To your dismay, she ended up bearing some of the burden of her father being gone for three months. After staying with your parents for a few days, she was finally reunited with her dad yesterday morning, and they had been nearly inseparable since.
“Oh, Nell,” you sighed, cupping her cheeks in your hands, “I don’t know if daddy has plans today. He has a lot of stuff that needs to be done.
Pulling away from your touch, she frantically wiped the tears from her eyes, “I can do stuff too,” she whimpered.
She unwound your resolve like a ball of yarn, “I know you can, honey. I just…” you faltered. You had let her miss so much school over the last three months that the school had sent letters home, “We’ll just have to see.”
You sighed helplessly, standing back up and smiling softly at Olivia, who had successfully gotten blueberry juice everywhere. Returning to the kitchen, you put some scrambled eggs on Eleanor’s plate and put more in a bowl for Olivia, setting it aside to cool more before you give it to your toddler.
Putting the pan in the sink, you flipped on the tap before starting to clean it. While you kept a watchful eye on the baby monitor, you didn’t notice Spencer come downstairs and walk into the kitchen. In fact, you were completely unaware of his presence until he spoke, “Can I help with anything?”
You lost your grip on the pan, sending soapy water flying all over the kitchen as you frantically tried to catch the handle. Eleanor either didn’t notice or didn’t care. Olivia thought it was hilarious. “Oh,” you breathed as Spencer reached over and turned off the water, “You scared me.”
The two of you shared a timid glance, his hand ghosting over your waist as he walked past you to where the girls were sitting.
Biting the dead skin off of your lips, you finished rinsing the pan before setting it on a drying mat. You were wiping down the countertop when Finn finally woke up, and you dropped everything to go get him from his crib, almost like you were running on autopilot.
Unzip the sleep sack. Change the diaper. Get dressed. Cuddle him. Every morning. In that order.
Resting the groggy baby on your hip, you made your way back downstairs and into the kitchen, starting the bottle warmer and listening to the conversation between Spencer and Nellie.
“What if you go to school today, but on Friday we can both take the day off? We could go out for lunch,” he offered, crouching down so he was at her level.
She looked pointedly over at Olivia, who was happily eating the eggs that you assumed Spencer had given her, now thoroughly doused in ketchup, “Just us?”
Spencer nodded reassuringly, “If it’s okay with mommy, we can have a daddy and Nellie day.” He reached out tentatively and tucked some of her hair behind her ear, everything about him seemed so timid.
You looped around the kitchen table, ruffling Olivia’s hair before doing the same to Eleanor’s and even Spencer’s, which made Olivia giggle.
“Can I?” Spencer asked, nodding his head to the bottle that you had just grabbed from the warmer.
Blinking absently for a moment, you eventually nodded, handing Finn over to his dad along with the bottle, watching as Spencer cradled him, walking him around the kitchen while his bottle was clamped between his tiny hands. “Hey, girls, time to get dressed,” you said, forcing yourself to peel your eyes off of your husband.
Eleanor groaned but got up anyway, trudging up the steps while you followed with Olivia in your arms, feeling like you were missing something without Finn also in tow.
Nell made her way back down first, sitting on the couch and watching her dad, keeping an eye on him like she was afraid he was going to disappear before her very eyes. “Daddy?” She whispered, her voice barely audible from your place at the top of the stairs.
“Yeah?” He asked, you heard the sound of him setting the bottle in the sink.
She’s quiet for a moment before responding, “I missed you.”
Spencer’s footsteps stopped abruptly, “I missed you too, lovebug.”
You started to make your way down the stairs, letting Olivia go down on her own now that she wasn’t covered in blueberry. Eleanor looked at you with big eyes before helping her sister climb up on the couch. “Finny, Finny, Finny,” Olivia echoed.
Zipping up Eleanor’s school lunch in her bag, you sighed, hoping you were doing the right thing by sending her to school. “Hey, Nell,” you said, checking a new message on your phone, “Mrs. Jareau is here.”
JJ’s carpools had saved you multiple times while Spencer was in prison, you were just grateful she was willing to continue them.
Normally, she’d run out the door at the prospect of being able to talk to Henry, but this time she lingered by the front door, holding her backpack straps in her hands and staring at her dad, “Will you be here when I get home?”
He looked at you, a thousand emotions flashing in his brown eyes, and he squatted in front of her, “I’ll be here,” he said, holding out his pinky finger to interlock with her much smaller one. “I promise,” he said, kissing her forehead before standing up.
Once you knew she was off to school, you made sure Olivia was settled in on the couch and Finn was in his bouncer before going back to the kitchen to finish cleaning up. You were placing dishes in the dishwasher when Spencer came back.
“I’m sorry,” he said, leaning against the countertop and handing you a bowl to put on the top rack.
Taking the bowl, you didn’t look at him as you placed it in the dishwasher before putting a tablet in and pressing the start button, “I wish you’d stop apologizing.”
He stepped slightly closer to you, “I know. It’s just… watching you handle all three of them in the morning. It’s incredible,” he praised you. “I left you alone,” he said mournfully.
You shrugged, having never really thought of it that way, “You didn’t leave me alone. I had them,” you said, nodding in the direction of the living room, where Finn and Olivia were having a conversation that only the two of them could understand.
You sighed in relief as the shower water washed over you, an early afternoon shower just before Eleanor got home from school, the little ones were down for their naps, and you had to race against time before one of them woke up. It didn’t give you a lot of time to just sit under the running water, but you’d have enough time to wash your hair before you needed to pause the shower.
You had narrowly avoided disaster this morning when the girls’ breakfasts had been mixed up. Thankfully, you navigated a toddler meltdown that was triggered by the appearance of ham in her eggs. Poor Spencer was still confused even after you explained to him that she wouldn’t eat ham because it’s pink and pink is her favorite color.
It wasn’t something that made a lot of sense to you either, but the only person that it needed to make sense to was your two-year-old.
Rinsing your hair, you remembered how happy Spencer had been when he got Finn down last night. He’d spent the day talking about how babies don’t start to really recognize faces until they’re around four months old, and that was about how old he was when Spencer left.
Finn knew his dad. He’d even started reaching out for him when he wanted to be held but feeling comfortable enough to be put down for the night by him—it felt like a milestone.
The crying started right after you finished rinsing your hair, you quickly shut off the water and grabbed your towel off of the hook. Wrapping it around yourself, you dried off your feet before opening the bathroom. Sometimes when Finn cried while you were in the shower, you’d just bring him in with you to finish, but when you opened the door, his tears were already waning.
Spencer had gotten to him first, scooping him out of the crib in your room and holding him to his chest, “Hey, buddy,” he cooed softly, “What’s wrong?”
The baby chattered in response, gripping the cotton of Spencer’s t-shirt in his tiny fists and wiping his tears away.
“You’re alright,” Spencer whispered, placing him on your bed to undo his sleep sack, smiling at his son when he kicked his legs once freed. “You just wanted to be held, huh? Your sister was the same way when she was a baby,” he said.
Nell. He was remembering Nell as a baby, who slept best when she was being held and would cry if you were out of her line of sight.
Spencer turned around, stopping in his tracks when he saw you in the doorway, “Did you finish?”
You’d been caught, “Oh. Could you get a new soap from the hall closet? We’re out,” you fibbed, mindful of the way your hair was still dripping wet.
He frowned, “I just put a new one in this morning. Did you look on the caddy?”
Blinking, you shook your head, “No, my bad.”
You had already started closing the door when he called for you, “Honey?”
Pausing, you peeked out the door to look at him, “Yeah?”
“I’m here,” he told you, something urgent in his tone.
Your face warmed, the reminder of his presence making your heart race, “I—” you faltered, “I know.”
You had managed to get Nell out the door without a fight this morning with the promise of her father-daughter date tomorrow. Olivia was settled with her toys in your line of sight and Finn was in a sling. The baby hadn’t slept well last night, and you were fairly certain that he had a new tooth poking through. He seemed fine now, catching up on sleep while you wiped down the kitchen.
Spencer was across from you, filling out some required papers for his reinstatement hearing. He hadn’t fully committed to seeking reinstatement until you brought it up. Frankly, you were horrified by the fact that Spencer was under the impression that you would ask him to leave the BAU for any reason.
“What do you have planned today?” Spencer asked you, still focusing on the papers while making gentle conversation with you.
You raised your eyebrows briefly, “Really awesome exciting stuff.” You took a sip of your coffee before adjusting Finn’s sling. Very slowly, you were beginning to find a new routine with Spencer and the kids in the morning. Spencer was learning about everything that had changed, and you were learning how to give him more responsibilities around the house.
You needed to let go of the notion that you were still alone. Spencer hummed in response, laughing at your blatant oversell, “Like what?”
Smiling, you dried your hands on a tea towel before standing next to him, distracting him from his paperwork with the cuteness of a sleeping baby. “There is so much dirty laundry in this house,” you told him, “I’m surprised anyone has any clean clothes.”
“Anything else?” Spencer asked, placing one hand gently on your hip and pressing a tentative kiss to your lips.
You hesitated, “Uh, cooking?”
He looked at you curiously, “Cooking for what?”
Chewing on the inside of your lip, you looked over at Olivia, making sure she was preoccupied before answering, “Monica and the kids.”
Realization dawned over Spencer’s face, “Oh,” he breathed. It didn’t surprise you that Spencer had conflicting feelings about Stephen’s death, given that he hadn’t known him that well prior to his arrest, but he and his family had grown close to you in your husband’s absence.
You nodded, “There’s a meal train thing going on for them, so I was going to make some stuff and drop it there later.” Tentatively, you smoothed Spencer’s hair back, needing something to do with your hands, “Maya used to babysit a lot when I needed extra hands. I just want to feel like I’m returning the favor.”
“Can I come with you?” Spencer asked, tilting his head back to look up at you.
Smiling softly at him, you answered, “Of course.” You sniffled, “If we time it right, we could pick Nell up from school at the end of the day.”
He squeezed your hip comfortingly, “I love you.”
You leaned down and kissed him again, “I love you too.”
The chattering woke you up, Finn in his crib talking to himself as you glared at the alarm clock. It was just past three in the morning, and the second thing you noticed was that you were alone in your bed.
You sat up in a panic, worried you had dreamt the past few weeks until your eyes found Spencer’s watch sitting on his nightstand. Rubbing your eyes, you dragged yourself out of bed before getting Finn from his crib, taking his sleep sack off to make him easier to hold, “Hey,” you whispered, “Let’s go find daddy.”
It didn’t take you long, Spencer was sitting on the floor in the hallway, his knees bent to his chest as he looked into Nell’s room, her space nightlight providing a soft glow into the hallway.
“If you move to the left about a foot, you can see both of them at the same time,” you informed him.
He listened, shifting over so that he could see Eleanor and Olivia at the same time, both of them sleeping peacefully in their beds. Spencer looked up at you, “Why do you know that?”
You slid down the wall, taking a seat next to him and settling Finn lengthwise along your thighs, “At the beginning of March, Nell brought home a virus from school and gave it to Liv, and then one of them gave it to Finn. So, I’d sit out here in the hallway and watch the girls with Finny in my lap,” you told him, leaning your head on his shoulder. “Just so I’d be nearby if any of them needed anything,” you kept your voice at a whisper, rocking your legs in hopes that it would soothe Finn back to sleep.
Spencer didn’t respond for a moment, thinking through what you had said before finally speaking up, “No one told me they’d been sick.”
Humming, you smoothed the baby’s hair back, keeping it out of his face, “I didn’t tell anyone.” To this day, no one else knew that you had juggled three sick kids at once, “I lied to JJ and told her that I was keeping Nell home for a few days, and she didn’t push for more information.” No one had pushed you for anything in the past three months.
“Why didn’t you ask for help?” Spencer asked, leaning his head on yours and resting a hand on your knee.
You didn’t want to, quite honestly. You hadn’t wanted to have to call your mom or anyone from the BAU when you needed help because it felt like an admission of sorts. Admitting that Spencer was gone long-term and that you were a solo parent. “I don’t know,” you lied, “I felt like I had something to prove to the world.”
Spencer swallowed thickly next to you, “Did it work?”
Shaking your head, you sighed a breath of relief at his presence, “No.”
He was quiet for a while, likely wallowing in a pit of guilt that he had been constructing for weeks, “We should get him back to bed.”
“Spence?” You whispered, closing your eyes and listening to the sounds of your quiet house, “Can we just stay like this for a little while?”
Humming a confirmation, Spencer placed a gentle kiss on the crown of your head, leaving his hand resting on your knee while the two of you remained in the hallway, enjoying each other’s company.
“We should’ve done cupcakes,” you said mournfully, turning on the oven light to see that there was something very off about the cake you’d put in the oven.
Spencer hummed, looking at the recipe again to see if there was something you had missed, “Why didn’t we do cupcakes?”
You huffed, “The Pinterest photo I found was of a cake.” It was a perfect cake, complete with a purple graduation cap made out of fondant that you could put on the top. The only problem was you had severely overestimated your baking abilities.
“So,” Spencer started, “It’s your fault.”
Scoffing, you tapped his chest with a silicone spatula, “It’s the fault of whoever posted the original photo!”
Spencer smiled at you, a dopey look in his eyes despite it being one in the morning. “We should’ve asked Penelope to do the cake,” he told you, flipping over the recipe you had printed out.
“We can make a cake,” you retorted, you were throwing a very small party for Nell’s last day of kindergarten—the first time you’ve invited a group over since Spencer was arrested. “You have three PhDs and you don’t think you can bake a cake?”
He raised his eyebrows at you, “This might come as a surprise to you, but none of my coursework ever involved baking.”
You grinned at him, “That does surprise me, it’s basically chemistry,” you challenged.
Spencer rolled his eyes, “Okay, come here,” he said, pulling you into his arms by the fabric of your t-shirt.
Realization fell over you as you scrambled to get away, “No! You’re gonna put frosting on my nose again.” It would be his second offense of the evening.
He followed you into the living room where you tripped over a toy truck, causing you to fall to the ground. When he offered a hand to help you up, you tugged him to the floor, causing one of the balloons that you had previously blown up to pop.
You covered your mouth to muffle your giggles, waiting to see if the noise had woken any of the kids up.
The kids were all so happy to have Spencer back, but your stomach twisted at the realization that this was the first night you’d really felt like you had Spencer back. You loved the kids, but you haven’t had a moment without them since February.
“Hey,” you said to Spencer, rolling over and flinging a balloon at him for good measure.
Carefully, you rested your chin on his chest, staring at him while he tried to calm his own laughter, “Hi,” he said back, ruffling your hair affectionately.
You took a deep breath before speaking up again, “I missed you.”
You hadn’t said it yet. You’d developed some misconstrued fear of making him feel guilty if you’d told him just how much you missed him, but it was the truth. You missed him. He smiled softly down at you, almost as if he had been waiting for you to say the words. “I missed you too,” he whispered.
Slowly, you lifted yourself up and pressed your lips to his, kissing him. It was more than any of the quick pecks you’d shared in the last few weeks, it was real. His hands dug into your waist as if he was afraid you were going to disappear, but you stayed there. You stayed with him, and you always would.
Up until the timer for the cake went off, your phone buzzing in your pocket when you finally pulled away. Breathing heavily, Spencer asked, “Is it too late to ask Penelope to do the cake?”
#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fluff#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fluff#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fic#criminal minds fic#spencer reid x fem!reader#written by margot#spencer reid dilf agenda
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Gentle Love
Pairing: Rio Vidal x Fem!Reader
Summary: She may be Lady Death, but to you, she is your sweet love.
Word Count: 1.2k
Warnings: mentions of depression, panic attacks, just a lot of hurt/comfort
a/n: surprise! another fic! i know a lot of people have been wanting just rio fics, so here you go! a little hurt/comfort! the goal was to make a mental health fic where it isn't romanticized, so here's hoping i did that! enjoy!!!
Your relationship with Lady Death wasn’t one that had a spontaneous start. She didn’t save you from a painful demise, or help you realize life was worth living.
She had met you on her day off. (Yes, Lady Death gets days off. She’s not the only one working the underworld, you know.) She was wandering through a wooded area when she came across you. You were sitting under a willow tree, humming to yourself as you wove a crown of daisies.
Her heart had practically melted at the sight of you, and she found herself gravitating towards you. Before she knew it, she was introducing herself to you and you were inviting her to join you beneath the willow.
The two of you were pretty much inseparable after that. You spent countless days getting to know every part of each other; mind, body, and soul. Soon enough, you were deeply in love with Rio Vidal: Lady Death. And she could say the same about you.
You both had grown exponentially by being in each other’s presence. But a romantic relationship doesn’t mean the absence of all problems.
Rio struggled deeply with guilt. She hated that she had been bound to this calling, that she had been chosen to wear a face she found hideous and escort living creatures to a world beyond life. It pained her to take children from their mothers, sisters from their brothers, soulmates from their lovers.
But you were so soft with her. Soft as you kissed her in her Death form, soft as you held her while she shook with guilt and self-hatred, soft as you assured her that she was doing the right thing. That you loved her always.
As for you, mental illness was something you had dealt with from a young age. After all, being a witch who was chased from countless villages and hunted endlessly, all for possessing a magical ability she never asked for…well, it tends to have some lasting negative effects on one’s mental well being.
You were proud to say you knew how to handle it, but you had your weak moments. Moments like now. And you hated them.
As you woke up, you felt a familiar heaviness in your bones. Your heart felt heavy but was racing all the same, your head ached, and your stomach churned with dread and anxiety.
You turned to the other side of the bed, reaching for your comfort, your person, only to find it empty. Your eyes filled with tears as you took a deep breath.
You wondered if you should call her. You hated that the thought even crossed your mind. You could handle this alone.
“But you don’t have to,” your lover’s words echoed through your mind as you pondered what to do.
You and Rio had created a system for times like this. If ever you were feeling like the walls were closing in, like you couldn’t breathe, like you could barely function. All you had to do was think of a color and a name. Her name.
Yellow meant you were struggling, but could handle it alone if need be. Red meant you needed her.
You rarely tended to use red. You loved Rio, and you knew full well that her presence helped to calm you in times of discomfort and anxiety, but you couldn’t pull yourself out of your need to be independent and not rely on anyone for help. You hated admitting the need for help.
Even now, as you laid in bed, tears streaming down your face as you struggled to breathe, you refused to admit defeat. But you knew you owed it to both her and yourself to say something.
Yellow. Rio. Yellow, you thought as you brought your hands to your face, willing your breathing to calm down.
It was no use. All you could think of was how useless you were, how helpless, worthless, weak.
You choked out a sob as the room seemed to get smaller and smaller.
Until you felt gentle hands on your wrists, tenderly pulling them from your face.
“Hey there, sweet girl. Let’s sit you up, yeah?” Rio said softly.
You followed her instructions, allowing the witch to help you to a sitting position.
You met her eyes, expecting to see disappointment and disgust, but instead being met with nothing but love pooling in her brown eyes.
Her hands moved from your wrists, gently intertwining her hands with yours.
“There’s my girl. Let’s try and get that breathing to slow down. Wanna get some more air in those beautiful lungs of yours, yeah?” She cooed, her eyes encouraging.
You nodded, and she took one of your hands, placing it on her stomach as she took exaggerated breaths as an example.
You began to copy her, your eyes not leaving hers, feeling safe as you lost yourself in her.
She squeezed your hands softly. “Look at you go. Breathing all by yourself. I’m so proud of you, mi vida,” she whispered as you found yourself finally able to breathe steadily.
You both sat there for a few more minutes, her allowing you the space to feel whatever you may be feeling as you came back to your senses.
You opened your mouth to speak, struggling to find words to express your needs. As if she had read your mind, Rio let go of your hands to reposition herself against the headboard of the bed and opened her arms to you.
You smiled at her in gratitude, moving to sit in between her legs, laying your back against her front as she held you.
You both sat in silence for a few moments, just soaking in each other’s presence; Rio running her fingers through your hair with one hand and softly caressing your leg with the other.
Eventually, she spoke.
“I’m so proud of you.”
You shrugged against her and she shook her head.
“I’m serious, my love. I’m proud of you for calling for me.”
“Feel weak,” you mumbled as you hung your head.
Rio furrowed her brows, turning you to face her. “Quite the contrary, love. You are the bravest person I know. You can handle these things on your own. I know you can. But you knew it wasn’t what was best for you, so you called for me. And I’m so grateful to be in love with such a strong, beautiful girl who knows how to help herself,” she said, her voice full of adoration that brought tears to your eyes.
“I love you, Rio,” you choked out, your hands finding her cheeks, thumbs brushing against the skin softly.
She placed her hands on your waist, allowing you to initiate the kiss.
You brought her face to yours, kissing her with all the love you had. She kissed you back, softly, always softly, pecking your lips softly as you pulled away.
“I love you most, my precious girl,” she said, laughing as you rolled your eyes at her need to turn everything into a competition.
She kissed the tip of your nose, relishing in the way you wrinkled it at the sensation.
“Alright, I prescribe you a glass of water, some chocolate chip pancakes, and cuddles with your hot girlfriend,” she said as she got up, smirking at you.
She beamed in triumph as you giggled. “Well if that’s what the doctor herself ordered, who am I to disagree?” you teased.
“My thoughts exactly. I’ll be right back, my brave girl. I love you,” she said, her eyes softening again.
“I love you, Rio Vidal,” you said with a smile, and she blew you a kiss before exiting your bedroom.
Yes, she was Lady Death, but to you, Rio Vidal would always be your gentle love.
#agatha all along#rio vidal x reader#marvel one shot#rio vidal#aubrey plaza#aubrey plaza x reader#rio x reader#agatha all along x reader
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Embarrassed?
Tom sat there staring down at his phone, typing like his life depended on it.
"if this is true I will literally trade anything to get bigger, you can make me a dumb jock, make my dick small, Ill even take being a walking joke, you can take anything you like so long as I can get huge!"
He had stumbled upon a site called "give'n'take" which was claiming that it would allow him to trade something he currently has for something he wanted. He had seen claims from guys claiming to of turned into their dream self over night by giving up something that they never really liked about themselves anyway.
But it was Hard for Tom to pick something he wanted to give up, he had almost won the genetic lottery in his eyes. A fat nine inches down stairs, 6.5ft tall, a good amount of body hair, not enough to be annoying but enough to drive guys wild. Everything had made him a walking stud that oozed confidence with every step. All but one thing that is. Tom had loved bodybuilding ever since he could remember, he loved the look of huge guys and he loved the idea of being one, but on his 23rd birthday he looked in the mirror and saw after years of work he looked nothing like a bodybuilder. sure he had some size but there was no real mass. He just looked like a guy who played sport on the weekend. He wanted to be so much bigger. He got hard imagining himself being the guy who had to turn sideways to get through a door or who rocked up to a house party in gym shorts and an XXL stringer tank top that clung to him like it was about to snap. Unfortunately his height was against him, his long muscle fibers took ages to develop and when they did it was so evenly spread out it didn't look like he had done anything at all.
He'd do anything to be bigger, he'd be happy with anything taken away so long as he was huge. So he left the choice up to the people behind the screen.
---
The next morning Tom woke up and instantly felt strange, he felt off balance some how like his body had gone up 30 pounds over night and when he got up and looked in the mirror he realised...it had.
"HOLY SHIT" Tom yelled out into his empty apartment.
His body had beefed up and become more defined without any more work. He couldn't worship himself for long though as he instantly began investigating to see what had been taken, but it didn't appear like anything was missing at all.
He was still packing, he hadn't shrunk in fact he might of even gained an inch or two and he didn't have any issues remembering anything from his engineering degree or any day to day stuff. The thought crossed his mind that maybe they had forgotten to take something, or maybe because he wanted to be big so badly they cut him a break.
Tom's worries melted away as he smiled and flexed his newly enhanced biceps.
"mmm, not as huge as I was hoping for but I'll keep working on it"
Tom picked up his gym bag and decided to head out to see what his new size could do, and to stick to the habit, he didn't want all this new size to make him forget to work out and end up losing it all in a few months.
Tom arrived at the gym and changed into his workout gear but he looked and felt different was he...bigger? nah, he thought to himself, its just him getting used to being this big although as he stared at his new size in his reflection a new thought entered his mind.
"Maybe this tank top is too tight...I probably shouldn't be such a show off and buy some looser clothes to cover up"
He shook his head and decided to think about it when he got home, right now he just wanted to see how strong he had gotten.
As Tom worked out something weird was happening, he knew how to exhaust his muscle, he new how to overload the weight and really make it feel like work but as he added weight with each set it felt just as easy as the last.
He'd occasionally see his reflection in the mirror wall and he looked like he was getting even bigger, and his tank top felt even tighter than before. Surely it was just the pump he thought to himself as he continued to lift and push his body.
He sat down at the cable row and put the pin almost at the bottom of all the plates, surely this would be a struggle for him. Tom leant back and pulled when suddenly.
Cutcshhhhhhh!
the sound of ripping fabric rung out in his ear as he felt the shoulder strap snap and felt the fabric split across his back.
"aw shit" Tom said as he stood up and took of his shirt.
Immediately he saw his reflection in the mirror, he looked huge. His muscles bulging he couldn't help but pull his gym shorts up and flex, this is what he wanted to be an absolute tank...
but, everyone probably thought he was a dickhead flexing outside of the changing room, he thought to himself. He started to wonder if he was that guy now, the guy who'd workout shirtless and annoy everyone in the gym.
He noticed a few dudes looking at him like they were waiting to get on the machine. His face turned a slight pink on his cheeks and he was flushed with embarrassment.
"oh s-sorry" Tom stuttered as he quickly tried to move out the way
Originally he thought he'd just move on to the next exercise but he realised he was shirtless and bolted for the changing room. Once inside he gazed at his reflection again.
"maybe...I shoulda asked to be just a little smaller, fuck now I gotta walk outta here shirtless"
Tom couldn't get a grip and didn't no what had come over him. He had never felt a shred of embarrassment in his life but now he was worried what people would think about him being shirtless in the gym.
The changing room was empty and Tom took the time for a few more poses before he was gonna make a run for the exit. He flexed his arms as hard as he could and felt the blood rushing into the muscle, but it was strange, the muscle wasn't just pumped up, it was like it was still pumping up. He tilted his head and watch in the mirror, slowly but surely his shoulders and arms were expanding, his chest was filling with mass and size. He saw his already huge legs slowly expanding out into colossal pillars as they stretched his shorts. He could hear the fabric starting to strain and quickly bend down to get his gym bag.
The moment he leant over he heard the changing room echo with a large tearing sound as he felt the tightness relieve across his ass. Tom's face turned bright red as he quickly reaches around to make sure it was just the shorts he had split and not his underwear.
He let out a sigh of relief as he felt his underwear was still in tact, he stood up and took a step hearing has his massive thighs tore and split his shorts with just one step. He was almost at the door when he saw his hulking figure in the mirror.
He stood frozen admiring his huge body, he flexed his entire body at once loving how huge he had become, he noticed his underwear was straining and the fabric was starting to become see through and then he remembered....he had to walk through the gym like this to get out....
A wave of embarrassment washed over him, everyone was gonna be staring at him
Tom quickly grabbed his bag and made a break for it through the busy gym. He had hoped to run but his body was so big that was almost an impossible task, so jogging was next but even just a slight jog left him out of breath and gasping for air. By the time he reached the door he had multiple people staring at him confused as he was huffing and puffing like he had just run a marathon.
He swung open the door to the gym and bumped between two guys that were on their way in. Tom tried to apologise but the only noises that came out were him gasping for air and trying to catch his breath. He flashed a quick apology wave as he climbed into his car which was luckily parked right in front of the entrance.
Tom looked down trying to slow his breathing and catch his breath when he noticed his huge hard on. His dick was like steel, the thought of everyone staring at him....judging him....
Tom started his car trying to ignore it but he heard the two guys he had just bumped into talking, muffled by his window.
"bro did you see that guy, there is just a thing as too big"
Hearing those worse Tom felt a swirl of shame and embarrassment swell in his stomach and work its way to his pelvis as he started taking deep and slow breaths.
"I know right dude, and the way he was so out of breath just walking through the gym, and working out in his underwear? what a loser"
the two men walking into the gym laughing as the door shut behind them
The words echoed in Tom's ears, he couldn't help it, he gripped his steering wheel so tight he thought he was going to break it, he bit his lip and closed his eyes as his dick began to twitch and erupt. Tom let out a pathetic moan as he looked down to see not just his underwear soaked but his car seat and thighs caked in cum.
Tom looked into his rear view mirror, his head, traps and shoulders completely blocking the view, his face was flush as he felt more embarrassed than ever before in his life, He started his car and quickly reversed out.
"god...I'm such..."
His dick instantly got hard again.
"fuck, I'm so big....I'm...too big"
Tom started panting as he drove out of the parking lot.
"I'm a fucking big, freakish, loserrrr--eerruuuuughh!!"
Tom couldn't help unload himself into his underwear and over his car seat thinking about how pathetic he was...
Well...he did say he was happy for them to take anything, His confidence seemed like a fair price.
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“Tommy!” Eddie cheered, lifting his drink toward the sky as he spotted his friend walking toward him. “Whatcha doin' here, Man?”
“Figured I'd stop by and see how you were doing, Bud,” Tommy replied. He gave Eddie a pat on the back as he sat down in the empty seat next to him. “You come here alone?”
“Mhm. Needed ta get out. House's too quiet.”
“How long have you been here?”
“Too long,” the bartender interrupted as he walked by. “Was about to cut him off. I already took his keys.”
Eddie's eyebrows furrowed, looking around the bar counter. “Hey! You took my keys.”
“I got him,” Tommy said, giving the bartender a nod. “I gotta say, at least you're talking better than you're texting. I was worried.”
Eddie's face scrunched up in confusion. “Huh? I never did texted you.”
“Oh, I beg to differ.” Tommy fished his phone out of his jacket pocket and went to his messages. “'Buuuuuuuck, lezz drink, Buddy.' Then five minutes later, 'Bruck, why rn't you at bar? I waiting.' A good two minutes after that you sent me your location with an angry emoji. Then, and this is my personal favorite, 'Loser too busy kissy kissy with Tummy to be a friendship.'”
"Huh. Thought I was textin' Buck.”
“Yeah, I pieced that together.”
“So where's Buck if you're not kissy kissy?” Eddie asked, his final drink sloshing over his fingers as he attempted to bring it to his lips.
Tommy took the drink from Eddie and set it back on the counter. “Evan is watching Jee overnight so Howie and Maddie can have a night away. So, you wanna talk about whatever's bothering you? I mean, I could take a guess, but...”
“Nah. No, no, nope. I wanna,” Eddie pulled at the collar of his shirt. “Lessgo karaoke, Tomboy-”
“We're not calling me that.”
“I wanna sing to the rooftops,” Eddie continued, his words slurring more and more with each sentence. “I wanna. I wanna be, you know, be free, Tommy. I don't have a rea-,” he hiccuped, “reason to get back home.”
“Really? Seems like that's exactly where you need to be right now.”
Eddie's eyes widened, like he'd thought of the best idea in the entire world. “Let's go to Peeping Tom! That's your name!”
“Peeping Tom is a gay bar, Eddie.”
“I don judge.”
“A very kinky, fully nude gay bar,” Tommy clarified.
Eddie squinted, deep in thought. “No karaoke?”
“No karaoke.”
“Well, then were we go? Don't say home!”
“Home.”
“Ugh,” Eddie groaned, allowing Tommy to wrap an arm around his back and help him up. “You're like a no- no fun dad. Wish I'd texted fun dad.”
Tommy gripped onto Eddie tighter as he stumbled while taking a step. He sighed. “Maybe next time.”
*****
When Eddie woke up the next morning it was to a pounding headache and blinding sunlight coming through his window. He was nauseous and his mouth tasted like a mixture of gasoline and mouthwash.
He laid there for a few minutes, trying to figure out what happened that made him feel so unbelievably ill.
After a few failed attempts, he finally rolled out of bed and made his way into the kitchen to fix himself some coffee.
He froze when he walked through the door to see Tommy sitting there, reading the newspaper.
“Good... morning?” Eddie started, confused.
Tommy set the paper down. “Morning. Sleep well?”
“I- I think so, I guess. It's a little blurry.”
Tommy hummed. “Not surprising. Coffee just finished, if you want some. Your couch is not comfortable, by the way.”
“Buck's never complained.”
“Yeah, well, he's easier to please than I am.”
Eddie was too hungover for this. He had so many questions, but for some reason the first one out of his mouth was: “Where'd you put my shoes?”
“In your closet.”
He grabbed himself a cup for some coffee. “My keys?”
“We have to go pick them up at the bar today, along with your car, obviously.”
“You didn't close my curtains last night. Woke up thinking I was being interrogated by Ice T.”
Tommy sighed, leaning back in his seat. “'Thank you so much for getting me home safely, Tommy. Did it hurt your back having to drag me into the house while I belted out Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of my lungs?'” He stood, walking over to Eddie and taking the coffee out of his hand, drinking a big sip. “Thank you for asking, Eddie. I think my back will be okay, but my ears will never recover.”
Eddie rolled his eyes, turning to fix himself another cup. “Thank you for getting me home safely, Tommy. I appreciate it.”
“Mhm. No problem.” Tommy returned to his seat and Eddie joined him at the table. They sat in silence for a couple minutes, taking small sips of their drinks.
Eventually, Tommy set his cup down a little harder than normal, getting Eddie's attention with the clinking sound. “Wanna talk about it?”
“About what? How your coffee tastes like cigarette sludge?”
“I'll take that as a no then.” Tommy checked his watch. “The bar doesn't open until three. Want me to stop by and pick you up then?”
Eddie shook his head. “I can just get an Uber, Man, thanks though.”
“Of course. I'll, uh, let you recover.” Tommy stood and went to leave, checking his pocket for his keys and phone.
As he neared the door, Eddie spoke. “Wait,” he said. Tommy turned back to face him.
“Yeah?”
“Why'd you sleep on my couch?”
“You're my friend,” he answered simply. “You drank a lot. Wanted to make sure you were okay.” He took a step back toward the table. ���Are you okay?”
Eddie cradled the mug in his hands, watching the steam rise from the cup. “You don't... How long has it been? Since you talked to your dad?”
Okay, so Tommy wasn't leaving then.
He came to the table and sat down, taking a moment to think about Eddie's question. “About six years, I think.”
“What did he do?” He looked over at Tommy. “To make you stop talking to him, I mean. Unless you don't wanna get into it. In fact, forget it, I shouldn't-”
“Eddie, it's fine,” Tommy assured him. “I don't mind.”
“Okay,” Eddie nodded, sitting up straighter. “So? What happened?”
“It wasn't just one thing,” Tommy explained. “It was a lifetime of things. He's... He's not a good man. I think the catalyst was about a year after I came out. I hadn't been home in awhile, so I decided to drive to his place one weekend. When he answered the door he said, 'What the hell are you doing here?' I told him I was coming to see him and he said, 'What's the damn point in that?' I thought about it for a second and realized that was a good question, so I turned around, got in my car, and left. Never looked back.” Eddie seemed to be contemplating his words, and Tommy could tell where this was going. “It's not the same thing, Eddie,” he said, beating Eddie to it.
“What if he doesn't come back? What I did, Tommy, it wasn't... It was bad.”
“You made a mistake.”
“I cheated on my girlfriend with a doppelganger of his mom, Tommy, and he caught me.”
“Granted, it was a big mistake,” Tommy deadpanned. “But, still a mistake. He'll come around. You gotta give him time.”
“People keep telling me that,” Eddie replied with an eye roll. “That he'll come around. But it's been months of nothing. And it seems like no matter what I do, it's not enough.”
“You're trying.”
Eddie huffed. “I'm not sure getting drunk alone at a bar is trying.”
“I think it shows you care, Eddie. And, yeah, that shouldn't become a habit, but you're allowed to be upset. You're allowed to hurt. You made a mistake, but you're a good dad and Christopher knows that. He will come around.”
“And if he doesn't?” Eddie asked, staring over at Tommy.
“Then you keep trying,” Tommy replied. “You never stop trying. Keep being there, keep sending him letters and getting him on Facetime. Go for a visit. Send him texts. I'm not saying you gotta smother him, but never let him forget that you're there. That's the biggest mistake you could ever make.”
“Yeah,” Eddie took a deep breath. “Yeah, you're right. I just... I gotta keep it up. Let him know I'm here, whenever he's ready.”
“Exactly.”
Eddie looked over at the clock on his stove, 11:32 staring back at him. He had no idea he'd slept so long. “Why don't you call Buck, see if he wants to come over and watch a game? Then you can drive me to my car.”
“Oh, you want me to call Evan? Don't you mean fun dad?” Tommy asked, eying Eddie.
It took him a minute, but the memory came back to him. “I did say that, didn't I?”
“You did,” Tommy confirmed. “Which I'm very offended by, by the way. I'm fun!”
Eddie sighed, his head drooping down. “I know you are.”
“I introduced you to karaoke trivia. I've flown you to Vegas.”
“I remember.”
“I never tried to seriously injure you in the name of love.”
“Which I'm very grateful for.”
“I don't have control issues when I have a clipboard in my hand.”
“Are you just gonna keep listing reasons why you're fun?”
“I once shoved three cupcakes in my mouth at once! Nearly choked to death, but Evan whacked me on the back and everything went down just fine.”
Eddie stood with his mug in hand, pointing toward the living room, “I'm gonna go to the couch. Get more comfortable.”
Tommy followed behind, pulling out his phone to call Buck. “I'll let Evan tell you who bowled a 230 last week. Hint: it was me!”
#bucktommy#911#tommy kinard#eddie diaz#platonic#eddietommy#evan is there is spirit#this is a little serious a little silly
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