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jeonginsleftcheek · 5 months ago

Text

Sweet Reunion

pairing: hwang hyunjin x afab!reader

genre: fluff, smut, high school crushes to lovers au

description: your best friend since high school is getting married, throwing a lavish wedding in a private resort on the bahamas. a week of having fun, drinking cocktails, eating nice food and enjoying the luxurious resort await for you. the only problem is, you don't have a plus one. your friend has an idea that just might light up some old forgotten flames.

word count: 14.4k

warnings: switch!reader and switch!hyunjin, multiple sex scenes, semi-public sex, unprotected p in v (wrap it up), smut with feelings, fingering, creampies, oral (f and m receiving), shower sex, lots of praise and pet names, reader and Hyunjin are in love fr, squirting, face fucking, brief foot job and foot massage (lmk if i missed something)

important: for people with thalassophobia there's a scene of a night swim in the ocean

a/n: reader is depicted as chubby and with tan skin but you can imagine yourself however you want to!

i wanted to write romantic and infatuated hyune, hope you enjoy!🫶🏻

also sorry if the ending seems rushed asjksls

~check out my: Masterlist

"Look how pretty they came out!"- your best friend Nicki practically vibrates with happiness as she hands you her wedding invitation, wrapped in a baby blue envelope, gold details etched into the expensive material.

"It's beautiful, Nicki."- you smile.

"Open it, open it!"- she almost knocks the table over with how jumpy her legs are.

You chuckle at her giddiness and carefully open up the sealed envelope. The paper inside is also nice and feels expensive under your fingers, and golden letters are engraved into it, inviting you to witness the happiest day for Nicki and Josh, who've been high school sweethearts and your best friends for years.

You were more than happy to be a part of their beautiful love story, but you can't lie and say you weren't at least a little bit jelaous. You were still single, a few of your relationships never too serious, never growing into something more. Coming home to an empty apartment wasn't horrible since you didn't mind being alone but sometimes you needed comfort and arms wrapped around you, someone to be there for you and tell you that feeling sad and lonely sometimes is okay and normal.

But, you didn't want to wallow in your loneliness and bring down Nicki, even though you were pretty sure almost nothing could bring her down in this moment, in fact, you felt like you have to hold onto her so she doesn't fly up into the sky like a helium balloon with how excited she is.

"They really came out beautiful. You always had an eye for aesthetic stuff like this."- you smile at your friend.

"Thank you. For everything, you know. You helped me a lot with the wedding, and in general. I'm happy to have you as my maid of honor and I wouldn't dream of choosing anyone else for that."- she says as she holds your hand.

"God damn it Nicki, don't make me cry now."- you chuckle squeezing her hand.

"Sorry, but you already know the both of us will be like waterworks on my wedding. Better to get a head start already, hm?"- she jokes and both of you laugh.

"Also, I know you were worried about your plus one and not wanting to be dateless at the wedding."- she adds after your fit of laughter. "But you don't have to worry anymore."

"What? What did you do?"- you narrow your eyes at her.

"Well... I might've invited Hyunjin to be your plus one."- she smirks.

"Hwang Hyunjin?! The Hwang Hyunjin from high school?"- you start freaking out immediately.

"You're still in contact, right?"- she asks.

"Well, we text sometimes for birthdays and Christmas, and like each other's posts on Insta. You do know I had the biggest crush on him, right?"

"I do, that's why I asked him."- your friend wiggles her eyebrows.

"And he's okay with that?"- you swallow, butterflies swarming in your stomach at the thought of Hyunjin, something you haven't felt for years.

"He sounded happy to me."- Nicki keeps smirking.

"You actually called him?"- you chuckle in disbelief.

"Josh and I still talk to him sometimes too. I was gonna invite him anyway. So why not as your plus one?"

"I will literally faint when I see him in person."- you say.

"Oh, I hope you don't because he's walking towards us right now."- your friend announces, waving as the door of the diner open.

"He- what?!"- you snap your head towards the sound and see Josh walking with Hyunjin, both of them laughing.

Your jaw collides with the floor as you stare at your high school crush, you can't believe that he looks even more beautiful than he did back then. You're suddenly self-aware, cursing Nicki in your mind for bringing him without telling you first because you didn't even put on any makeup and it's unfair that he looks so good effortlessly, like it's normal and casual to roll out of bed looking like a god. Nothing is normal and casual about that. You also hate your choice for an outfit, only wearing some stupid old t-shirt and a pair of jeans you deemed clean, running out of your apartment this morning to what you thought was just a coffee with your best friend.

"Oh, hello Hyunjin!"- Nicki stands up and hugs him, patting his back.

"Hi, darling."- Josh smiles and Nicki gets instant heart eyes, even after so many years they were still in love with each other like they've literally just met.

"Hi, baby."- she cooes at him as they peck each other's lips shortly.

You stand up awkwardly, ready to shake Hyunjin's hand but he smiles sweetly at you and pulls you into a hug.

"It's so nice to see you, y/n."- he says as he wraps his arms around you and you swear you've stopped functioning. You barely register lifting your arms up and returning the hug. Hyunjin smells so nice, and despite the cologne he wears you can smell that distinct scent of him that made you feel drunk whenever he got closer to you in high school.

It's like you're 16 again, stealing glances at your crush during class, hoping he'll say hello to you in the halls, hoping you'll sit next to him during lunch. The nights you spent daydreaming about holding his hand, kissing his lips, the diary you kept that's full of Hyunjin's name and little hearts around it, all the memories flood back to you so vividly and you feel giddy and embarassed as you lean back.

Hyunjin still wears the sweet smile he always does, and you can see the tips of his ears reddening as his eyes take you in.

"It's nice to see you too."- you manage, your voice almost breaking from nervousness.

"This feels like high school, doesn't it?"- Nicki claps excitedly as the four of you sit down.

"Except I don't have the embarassing bangs I thought were the coolest shit ever back then."- you sigh, your cheeks warming up under Hyunjin's gaze that hasn't left you since he walked in.

"I thought they were cute."- Hyunjin says and you chuckle, your heart fluttering.

"And I got rid of my braces. Those were a pain in the ass."- Nicki sighs.

You spend at least an hour reminscing together, about your teachers, the shenanigans you got into, the first time you got drunk, gossip about people you knew from back then and you can't believe just how much of those memories somehow involve Hyunjin.

You're thankful for your friends as they made your high school experience less hard and embarassing, and more fun and filled with positive memories you can always think back on with fondness.

"Well, you two feel free to stay here but Josh and I have some more wedding stuff to get to. So, I'll text you later y/n."- Nicki winks at you and you wish you could convey through your eyes just how panicked you are to be left alone with Hyunjin already.

You feel awkward when they leave, and as you look up at Hyunjin he suddenly seems shy too as his eyes flutter away and then back to you again multiple times, his cheeks rosy.

"So, we didn't really manage to catch up."- he starts. "What do you do?"- he asks.

"Oh, I'm a veterinarian."- you say and Hyunjin smiles.

"You always wanted that. I'm glad you made your dream come true. Although, I had no doubts that you wouldn't."- he says, looking at you fondly and you melt into the chair you're sitting on.

"Thank you, really."- your face is warm again. "What about you?"

"I'm a painter. And a photographer. Mostly doing comissions and sometimes events."- he says shyly, like he's cautious not to sound like he's bragging.

"Look at you! You also made your dreams come true."- you say, smiling at him.

"Eh, I'm far from that. I still need to make a name for myself. I wish to own a gallery one day too."- Hyunjin says.

"You're being modest. Not many artists can say they live from their art. Plus, I believe you'll make it. I always did."- you confess, your heart hammering in your chest.

"T-thanks for believing in me."- Hyunjin smiles sheepishly. The tension between the two of you feels tangible, like you can cut through it with a knife.

"Thanks for agreeing to be my plus one."- you chuckle embarassingly.

"Oh, well it's my pleasure."- Hyunjin shifts in his chair, a slight smirk playing on his lips.

This is going to be interesting.

Nicki calls you that afternoon excitedly asking for details of your "date" with Hyunjin.

You tell her it wasn't a date, and after you tell her what the two of you talked about you almost shriek loudly into the receiver when she informs you that Hyunjin and you would be sharing a suite at the resort.

Nicki invited around 200 guests to her wedding which you thought was too much, but it's not your place to comment on it. If she wants to throw a big lavish wedding, she should do what her heart desires. But only about 20 of the guests, including hers and Josh's immediate family and closest friends were invited to come a few days earlier and enjoy the pre-wedding activities and the luxurious resort fully.

This ofcourse includes you and your plus one, with whom you'd be sharing the suite.

"And you didn't tell me this earlier because?"- you pace around your living room.

"Because I knew you'd be freaking out."- she laughs.

"I'm not freaking out."- you say, trying to sound calm.

"Yes, you are."- Nicki chuckles.

"Yes, I am! You want me to basically live with Hyunjin for almost a week?!"

"Y/n, this is a great chance for igniting some old flames. Obviously everyone knows you two were head over heels for each other except the two of you. Which is so funny in retrospect. Like how you'd stare at Hyunjin and sigh dreamily. And then he would stare at you every time you looked away. We actually had bets on who'll make the first move."- Nicki tells you and you can't help the chuckle that escapes your lips at the silliness from high school.

"I guess all of you lost because neither of us made a move. I didn't think he ever saw me that way. He's you know... Hyunjin. And I'm me."- you sigh, sitting down on your couch.

"What is that even supposed to mean bestie? Don't start with the pity party because Hyunjin would literally kiss the ground you walk on even now. Didn't you see the way he was looking at you?"- Nicki says.

"Don't exaggerate! I did see it but maybe he was looking at me like that because he didn't see me in a long time and-"

"Y/n, face it. Hyunjin and you have some feelings left from high school that need to be explored. Don't feel nervous and trust me. As soon as we come to the beautiful resort, as soon as you drink your first cocktail and take a swim in the ocean, you'll be seeing things differently. You need to loosen up. We all do."- Nicki sighs happily.

"I hope you're right. I'm honestly kinda excited."

"You better be more than kinda excited for my wedding!"- Nicki threatens you jokingly.

"I'm beyond estatic for you."- you chuckle, shaking your head even though she can't see you.

You can't sleep the night before the flight to the Bahamas. You checked your suitcase like a hundred times, making sure you packed everything you'd need for the trip.

You decided to also pack some cute lingerie just in case and since it was the Bahamas and you were basically gonna let loose as your best friend said, you packed the skimpiest bathing suits and the shortest dresses you had. Hoping in your mind, Hyunjin would be the one to take them off of you.

You slap yourself internally, annoyed at how far you're already thinking about Hyunjin in all kind of unholy scenarios when the two of you had barely just begun hanging out again.

You toss and turn in bed in anticipation, unable to sleep almost all night, your alarm blasting at 6am. You arrive at the airport feeling like a truck ran you over and meet up with Nicki and Josh, and their family.

Hyunjin joined you not too long after you came and again he looked like a model for a luxury brand who just woke up looking perfect. You felt a bit embarassed but what was making you even more nervous is that he hasn't taken his eyes off you yet again.

You made small talk while waiting for the plane, like there wasn't a break in your communication since high school ended. Being next to Hyunjin and talking to him felt so natural and weirdly normal.

Sitting in the plane next to Nicki and a few other close friends, you listened to music and daydreamed about all the possible romantic scenarios that could happen between you and your high school crush.

You were ready for almost anything.

As soon as you leave the airport and arrive at the resort, you already start feeling like another person. The air is different, better, more fresh. Everything looks more vibrant than the dull city and the resort looks expensive as fuck and you feel excited to be at a place like that, knowing that even with your decent pay you could never afford something like this, especially for a huge wedding.

Not that you wanted a huge wedding like your friend did, on the contrary, you'd rather have a small and intimate ceremony with just a few people who matter the most to you.

You scoff at yourself, thinking about a wedding when you can't even have a serious relationship.

"What is it?"- Hyunjin appears next to you with a smile and you shake your head quickly, cheeks heating up from how close to you he's standing, his shoulder brushing yours.

"Nothing, just thinking how expensive this place looks."

"Probably costs an arm and a leg."- Hyunjin nods, looking around.

The staff welcomes you, taking your luggage and bringing it to your rooms, with Nicki and Josh at the front, probably making sure that everything is okay with the reservations.

"Your suite is number 14."- Nicki strides towards you with a keycard, a smirk on her face as she looks between you and Hyunjin.

"Thanks."- you chuckle at her expression as you grab the keycard.

"We're gonna have so much fun! We should all freshen up and then meet up for lunch."- Nicki smiles at you and Hyunjin, and your other friends who are all couples.

Everyone agrees to meet up in the lobby in an hour and you make your way to the suite with Hyunjin.

The walk is comfortably silent but your heart is beating loudly in your ears. Being alone with Hyunjin and a bed brings all kinds of dirty thoughts to your mind.

As soon as you walk in, both you and Hyunjin gasp. The suite isn't just a room, it's like a small apartment. There's a huge bathroom, kitchen, living room, balcony and a jacuzzi in the yard.

"This is insane."- you whisper in disbelief.

"I've always wanted to go to a place like this."- Hyunjin admits.

"Me too, honestly. Like I'm not that fancy as a person but just sometimes you wanna drink expensive champagne and sit in a jacuzzi, you know?"- you say and Hyunjin laughs.

"Ah, to be rich and without worries."- he sighs dramatically as you two look around, finding your luggage neatly placed next to the closet in the bedroom.

"Well, we can pretend we're that while were here."- you say and Hyunjin agrees with you.

Both of you start unpacking as you glance at the bed, it's a decent size to where both of you would fit and it makes something stir in your gut. Hyunjin notices you staring at the bed.

"If you're uncomfortable, I will sleep on the couch, I really don't mind."- he smiles at you.

"What? No way, I'll sleep on the couch."- you say and he snorts.

"There's no way I'd let you do that. I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing you're cramped on that couch, no matter how soft it looks."- he says and you feel your face heating up again.

You can't believe the words that come out of your mouth next.

"We can share the bed."

Hyunjin looks surprised, his eyes widdening and lips falling open silently as he tries to answer. His cheeks are pink as he smiles.

"Alright. If you're okay with that, I'm okay with it too."- he says.

Both of you continue unpacking and talking and Hyunjin insists you take a shower first while he waits like the gentleman he is.

You grab your shower stuff and a change of clothes and head for the bathroom.

As soon as you walk into the huge shower, you're confused. The shower looks more like a spaceship with buttons you don't understand, it's fancier than any shower you ever used you have no idea how to turn it on.

You play on luck and press a button, making hot water spray over you and you shriek as it burns your skin, quickly turning it off by pressing the same button.

"Y/n, are you okay?!"- you hear Hyunjin's muffled voice on the other side of the door.

"Ugh, yeah, just a sec!"- you call out, walking out of the shower and grabbing the robe that the resort staff left in the bathroom.

You quickly put it on, tying it and trying to cover up as much as you can before you open the door.

Hyunjin's face becomes deeply red as he gives you the elevator eyes, taking your appearance in.

"This is embarassing but I don't know how to turn on that shower."- you say quietly as Hyunjin stands there, catching flies with his mouth open, eyes lingering on your cleavage.

"Oh. I'll- I'll check it out."- he says and you step aside, letting him come in.

It's awkward as he fiddles with the buttons while you peer at what he's doing, standing behind him on your tippy toes.

He presses a few buttons and both of you scream as soon as the water starts spraying from the ceiling, bursting out in laughter the moment you lock eyes with each other.

"This is a shower running on quantum physics."- Hyunjin says as he fiddles with the buttons again. "But I think I get it."- he finally manages to adjust the water.

You step in closer and Hyunjin explains which buttons he pressed and how to control the temperature.

"Thank you."- you say, embarassment seeping into you once again.

"Yeah, no problem. I'll... leave you to it."- he steps out, and you try to calm your breathing, with the prospect of having Hyunjin in the shower with you dancing around in your mind.

The shower is big enough to fit two people, especially if they wanna do certain activities. You scold yourself as you do your skincare, thinking that you must be really touch deprived to be this horny. Or maybe it's just Hyunjin's fault, for looking that good and being so sweet.

By the time lunch comes around, you are so hungry you can barely think.

You meet up with Nicki and Josh on the terrace of one of the resort's restaurants, and the view is simply breathtaking.

The ocean kissing the sand looks alluring and it invites you to dive in and find out all the secrets it hides. You briefly forget about your call to the ocean as Hyunjin brings out your chair and smiles cutely at you, his dimples showing as he looks at you through his sunglasses.

"Thanks."- you mutter and sit down.

Two other couples join you and everyone starts conversing about how beautiful the resort is. Nicki asks about the rooms and you tell her about the confusing shower to which she laughs, saying that it's some new technology and that she would love to have a shower like that installed at home.

You order your food, ready to even eat the plate with how your stomach is growling.

"So, how long have you and Hyunjin been together?"- Sophia, Nicki's friend from work, asks you as you eat the delicious food and you almost choke on the bite in your mouth.

"W-were not together. Were just... friends."- you say hesitantly, unable to look at Hyunjin, missing the look of embarassment and disappointment on his face.

"Oh, sorry."- Sophia makes an awkward face.

"Friends. For now."- Nicki smirks.

"Nicki!"- you smack her arm and she laughs like she just said the funniest joke.

Josh reads the awkwardness between you and Hyunjin and quickly changes the theme to all the things the resort offers.

You steal a glance at Hyujin and he seems to be contemplating something, deep in thought as he stares at the ocean. You wonder if it calls to him too.

"I wanna swim in the ocean."- Hyunjin says suddenly, like he can read your mind.

"Me too."- you agree immediately and he looks at you like he didn't realize he said that out loud.

"We should all go swim-" - Sophia starts but Nicki kicks her under the table making her gasp.

"No, no. There's a thing I wanna show you, Soph. You know."- Nicki nods towards the two of you as you talk quietly and Sophia realizes Nicki's plans.

"Oh. Yeah, I know."- she nods quickly.

"So, should we go to the beach?"- you ask Hyunjin after you get back to your room from the lunch, feeling a pleasant buzz from the good food and a few drinks you had.

"I was thinking more of a night swim."- he smiles mischieviously.

"A night swim? Isn't that kinda scary?"- you ask.

"I think it's exciting."- he says, looking at your every move as you take the bottle of wine in the kitchen and take out two glasses.

"Have you ever tried it?"- you ask him, struggling to open the wine.

"A few times. You?"- Hyunjin asks as he makes his way towards you.

"No, never."

"Do you want to?"- Hyunjin's breath hits the back of your neck as he suddenly appears behind you.

Shivers run down your spine as his arms wrap around you but his hands reach for the wine bottle you're holding.

"Let me help."- he whispers.

"I want to. I mean go on a night swim. But, I'd like to try the jacuzzi first."- you swallow as Hyunjin manages to open up the bottle with a pop.

"Sure, I'd like that too."- he smiles as he steps away from you, like he wasn't just all up in your private space leaving you hot and bothered. "We can do whatever we want to, really."- he adds, and you look at him trying to read his mind but all you get is him looking at you warmly, like you're the most beautiful and precious thing he's ever seen, you can even swear there's a twinkle in his eyes as he smiles at you.

Is he flirting with you?

You're sure at this point that you're feeding into your delusions and you turn around to pour two wine glasses.

"Here. To Nicki and Josh."- you say and Hyunjin chuckles as he takes the glass from your hand.

"To Nicki and Josh."-your glasses clink together. "And to us."- he adds and your chest flutters.

"To... us."- you nod and both of you take a sip.

The sun is just starting to set as Hyujin lowers himself into the jacuzzi, waiting for you to join him.

You're in the bathroom, trying on your third bathing suit and checking yourself out in the mirror.

You're usually not this self-aware but you saw how toned and lean Hyunjin's body is and looking at your slightly chubby figure, you wonder if he'll like the way you look. You always said you'd be damned if you ever let a man's opinion on your body change the way you see yourself but Hyunjin looks at you with such intensity that you're scared he will see all the flaws clearly.

Ultimately, you decide on the first one, a white bathing suit with gold details that compliments your tan skin, and you finally gather the courage to actually walk out of the bathroom. As soon as you step out into the private yard, Hyunjin looks up at you. You catch the quiet gasp that leaves his lips, redness spreading on his cheeks all the way to the tips of his ears and down his neck. He barely conceals the smile that breaks out on his face.

"I like your bathing suit."- he says as you step into the jacuzzi slowly, and he mentally slaps himself for saying that instead of telling you that you look like the most beautiful goddess he has ever seen.

"T-thank you."- you chuckle as you quickly sit down into the water. Hyunjin turns away from you, a smile still playing on his lips as he grabs your wine glass from before and passes it to you.

For a few moments, all that can be heard is the sounds of the swirling water in the jacuzzi and the light jazz that Hyunjin probably put on coming from the room, as the two of you admire the orange and pink hues painting the sky above the ocean.

"So, do you still dance?"- you ask him, after taking a few sips of the wine.

"Oh yeah, in my free time. What about you? You used to like dancing too."- Hyunjin tilts his head at you.

"I did. I mean, I do like it, I just don't have that much time anymore. Plus, I wasn't really good."

"That's such a lie!"- Hyunjin chuckles. "You're a great dancer. Almost as good as me."- he jokes with a smirk.

"Yeah, almost."- you chuckle with him.

"So, what takes up all your time except work?"- Hyunjin asks, and you notice he's sitting closer to you now.

"I do volunteer work too, I help out at animal shelters and such. It's hard for me to resist helping animals in need. I don't have the heart to turn the blind eye."

"That's really sweet of you."- Hyunjin smiles. "So, basically you work all the time."- he chuckles. "No significant other?"

"If there was, they'd be here with me now."- you say and feel Hyunjin's thigh slightly press against yours under the water, making your core throb immediately. "W-what about you?"

"Still waiting for the one."- he smiles at you, his arm sneaking behind your upper back.

"Forever the romantic soul, huh?"- you chuckle nervously, he's so close to you.

"Do you believe in love?"- his eyes roam all over your face like he's analyzing it and it's hard to focus and not be on edge when you can literally count his eyelashes and when he's asking questions like that.

"Ofcourse I do. Honestly, I'm just a little disappointed with love right now."- you sigh.

"Bad experiences?"- he asks.

"More so bland than bad."- you answer, and Hyunjin goes silent for a few moments.

The sun has almost completely gone down, leaving your faces illuminated by the fairy lights in the garden.

"You know... I have something to confess."- Hyunjin says suddenly, his knee resting on yours and he's even closer now.

"Y-yeah?"- your voice trembles.

"I had the biggest crush on you in high school."- Hyunjin says, his eyes softening.

Your brain short circuits as you try to process what he just said. The biggest crush of your life, the one you pined over for years, the most beautiful and sweet man you've ever met felt the same way about you?

"Y/n?"- Hyunjin says unsurely as you stay quiet.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't... I never knew you felt the same way as me."- you accidentally say and Hyunjin looks at you, before he realizes what you said and his eyes widden as he gasps.

"You had a crush on me too?!"- he asks, seemingly excited.

"Come on, Hyun. Everyone had a crush on you in high school. People called you Prince. It's not exactly news."- you chuckle awkwardly, trying to ignore the way your heart is beating fast.

"I don't care about everyone. I care about you."- he says, his cheeks rosy. "I never thought you'd feel the same though."

"Me either. Actually, Nicki told me that everyone knew. And that they made bets on which one of us will make the first move."- you chuckle and Hyunjin laughs.

"Our friends really are something."- he says. He looks like he's about to say something again but you feel so nervous that you get up abruptly.

"I feel like I'll melt into the water if I keep sitting in the hot tub. I think I'm gonna take a shower and go to bed. I need to catch up on some sleep."- you talk quickly as Hyunjin looks at you, the look on his face slightly confused and a little bit dejected.

You basically run away from him and lock yourself in the bathroom. You try to catch your breath first, thinking what the fuck just happened in there?

Hyunjin's confession coupled with his body so close to yours intoxicated you more than the expensive wine ever could. You needed a cold shower.

You leave the bathroom on your tippy toes, dressed in your night gown and ready for bed.

You hope you can avoid Hyunjin at least for tonight, while you gather courage to face him again tomorrow and your plan is to get into bed and act like you're asleep if he asks you something or tries to talk to you.

You know it's childish but the figurative butterflies in your stomach are making you nauseous each time Hyunjin smiles at you.

"I'll go get ready for bed."- your plan is interrupted as Hyunjin appears seemingly from out of nowhere, grabbing his clothes.

You sigh and sit in bed, grabbing your phone and checking your messages. You see that Nicki had texted you asking how's it going with your 'lover' and if you're getting any 'action'.

You snort at your phone, quickly typing out an answer that he isn't your lover and that there is no action whatsoever.

You toss your phone aside and lay down, your muscles instantly relaxing into the bed, and you think how it's definitely the most comfortable bed you've ever touched.

You hear Hyunjin shuffling towards the room and he walks in wearing only his boxers, his hair damp from the shower and you swear your heart skips a beat or two.

"I'm actually feeling tired now. I think the plane and change of scenery are finally catching up to me."- Hyunjin talks as he gets under the covers and you wonder why this feels so casual like it happens every single night, like you're a couple that has been sleeping next to each other for years.

"Yeah. I'm barely awake."- you answer, your eyelids becoming heavy despite the fact that Hyunjin is laying next to you half naked and you can feel the heat radiating off of his body, inviting you closer to him, making you wish you could melt into his arms.

"I wanted to show you some of my recent art but we can save that for tomorrow. I'd also like for us to continue our talk."- he whispers the last sentence.

"What talk?"- you ask, already falling asleep.

"About our feelings."- you think you hear him say, but you can't fight the sleep anymore.

There is an arm around you. There is an arm around you.

Your eyes snap open and trail down towards your waist.

There is an arm around it, holding you tightly and there is a warm body attached to your backside.

You panic and then you remember where you are and who you're with and then you panic even more.

"Hyun?"- you whisper, trying to look back at him. "Hyunjin?"- you try again.

"Mmh?"- his voice is muffled, half of his face smushed into your pillow.

"I think Nicki wanted to see us for brunch or something."- you say awkwardly.

"Mm yeah, I'm awake."- he says, moving away and then you hear him gasp. "Oh my god, I am so sorry for getting all into your space and practically sleeping on you."- his face is red when you turn to look at him finally, and he looks even more embarassed than you are.

"I'm used to hugging my pillow every night."- he says sheepishly and you chuckle, deciding to tease him.

"Am I the equivalent to your pillow? Is that what you're saying?"- you smirk.

"No, no! You're way better than a pillow. I mean... you know what I mean... Nevermind, I'm gonna go get dressed."- Hyunjin rambles as he gets up clumsily, almost tripping over nothing as you stare at him and chuckle under your breath.

You can't believe you actually have that effect on him, and you also can't believe he looks so good when he just wakes up. It's like his lips look even more pouty than usual and you wish you could kiss those pretty lips until they're bruising.

And with the morning sun rays peeking through the window, you can see Hyunjin in all his glory and the sight makes your mouth water.

He grabs some clothes and you quickly look away as he turns around, busying yourself with your phone. There are a few texts from Nicki asking if you're up, and to come down to the restaurant you ate yesterday at for brunch. You quickly text her that you'll be there soon as the two of you get ready.

You didn't expect for Nicki to drag you and her other friends away from the guys claiming the girls need to go shopping and have some fun on their own. You're actually thankful for that because with the way your heart's beating fast the whole time Hyunjin is near you, you think you're seriously gonna have a heart attack.

"So, tell me, what happened last night with Hyunjin?"- she lowers her voice as she hooks her arm with yours, while you walk through the mall.

"Nothing happened. We talked."- you shrug.

"Boo! Boring! Give me some juicy details."- she shoves you a little and you laugh, shoving her back playfully.

"Well, we sat in the hot tub. Like real close."- you say and Nicki gasps. "And then Hyunjin told me he had the biggest crush on me in high school."

"Y/n!!! That is huge! I knew it, oh my god! What did you do?"- Nicki asks excitedly and you chuckle at her.

"I basically ran away and went to sleep."

She shakes her head looking like a disappointed mother as she narrows her eyes at you.

"You should've kissed him."

"Yeah, right."- you scoff.

"I'm telling you, don't miss out on a good thing."

You had a fun time with the girls, getting to know some of Nicki's other friends more, ofcourse with a cocktail or two in your hands because who cares, you're practically on vacation.

But your mind wanders to Hyunjin the whole time and you can't wait to be alone with him again.

He texts you telling you he came back to your shared room and asking if you're hungry to which you answer that you're starving. It's somewhere around dinner time as you walk into the suite, leaving the bags from your shopping trip in the living room.

A nice smell spreads from the kitchen making your stomach growl as you walk towards it.

You didn't expect to see Hyunjin in an apron, actually making dinner.

"Oh hey, you're back just in time. Dinner's almost done."- he turns towards you and smiles.

Your heart flutters when you see that the table is set, and there's flowers in the middle of it and a few candles and it all looks so romantic.

"I hope you like what I made. I'm not the best cook but I tried. I know we could go to any expensive restaurant here but honestly, I wanted it to be just the two of us."- Hyunjin rambles.

"Oh, it already smells really nice. I'm sure it'll be delicious."- you say, finally snapping out of your trance as you come closer to him. "Thank you."

"It's my pleasure."

The food is actually delicious, and the expensive wine adds to it, and the fact that Hyunjin cooked for you just makes everything much better and tastier. You both share how you spent the afternoon, agreeing that this is probably the most relaxed you've ever felt in your life.

Hyunjin remembers the night swim you promised him and you glance out the window at the almost completely dark sky.

"Let's do it."

Both of you get ready for the beach, giggling like little kids as you make your way towards it. You feel giddy and adventurous, like you're having an out of body experience cause there is no way you would do something like this usually.

You find a quiet part of the beach and sit down on your towels first, Hyunjin sitting close to you again, leaning on his arm that's placed behind your back.

He turns towards you and you can barely make out his features in the almost complete darkness while his eyes roam all over your face illuminated by the distant lights of a beach bar.

"I have to say, I'm so happy to be here with you. I'm happy that Nicki's and Josh's wedding brought us together again."- Hyunjin says quietly and you swallow as butterflies rise up to your throat.

"Me too."- you whisper.

"You have no idea how many times I wanted to just dm you on Insta and ask you to meet up."- he confesses.

"Really?"- you chuckle.

"Yeah. But I always chickened out, I don't know why. I guess it's because of the same reason I never asked you out in high school."

"Which is?"

"Which is that I always thought you could do better than me."- Hyunjin sighs and you can't help the scoff that leaves your lips. The Hwang Hyunjin was insecure next to you? What dimension did you fall into?

"That's absurd. I thought the same thing for you though."- you add and he laughs.

"We were dumb, both of us. But I hope we've grown and we know better now, hm?"- Hyunjin asks, his hand resting on your lower back, his eyes landing on your lips as he slowly leans in closer.

"I would hope so too."- your voice trembles as his leg presses against yours.

"Can I kiss you?"- he asks and you don't even answer verbally, you close the gap and your lips land on his.

He reciprocates immediately, his hand wrapping around you as yours tangles in his hair. Kissing his soft lips feels even better than you could ever imagine. You can't believe you're finally kissing your high school love, you feel like you're actually floating on clouds and also exploding at the same time.

Hyunjin's kiss is slow, purposeful and sensual until he gets drunk on you and then his kisses become more passionate and desperate, tongue prodding at your mouth. Your lips part to let him in, his free hand is on your cheek now as he angles your head to push his tongue in deeper and explore your mouth. You grip at his arm and his hair and Hyunjin grunts into you, the sound going straight down to your core.

"H-Hyunjin..."- you whisper as you part for air. He chuckles and then full on laughs as he leans his forehead on yours.

"You've no idea how long I wanted to do that."- he licks his lips.

"Same."- you say and he leans back and smirks.

"How about that night swim, hm?"- he wiggles his eyebrows as he takes off his t-shirt. You gulp and look around before taking your dress off.

You're in your bathing suit, but Hyunjin doesn't stop at his shirt. His fingers hook into his swim trunks as he stands up and slides them down, his dick in front of your face and your body feels hot as you gasp and turn away.

"W-what are you doing?"- you almost shriek and Hyunjin laughs.

"Swimming naked. Your turn."- he says and you look up at him. "I mean, don't feel pressured, you don't have to if you feel uncomfortable."

"I want to."- you bite your lip, your hands behind your back as you untie your bathing suit, letting it fall down. Your breasts spill out of it and Hyunjin's eyes are full of lust as he stares at them, wishing he could bury his face between them in that moment. You stand up and slide your panties down, now completely naked in front of Hyunjin.

Your heart hammers in your chest as he looks at you and you feel a little self-conscious.

"You're beautiful."- he smiles sincerely and you think you're gonna have that heart attack right about now.

"So are you."- you say and Hyunjin laughs sweetly as he grabs your hand, fingers intertwining with yours.

"Are you ready?"- he asks.

"I'm a little scared."- you say as you look at the dark ocean in front of you.

"I'll keep you safe, darling."- Hyunjin looks at you softly.

"Okay."- you say and the two of you get into the water, both of you screaming because it's cold but you're already in it so you wanna go all the way.

"Oh my god!"- you shriek as Hyunjin laughs and screams at the same time, his arms flapping around funnily.

"It's cold as fuck!"- you say.

"We'll warm up."- he swims closer to you, winking at you and you roll your eyes at him playfully.

"Something- something's touching my leg."- Hyunjin's serious suddenly and you panic a little.

"Don't joke around."- you warn him but he shakes his head.

"I'm not, I can feel something-" - he says and then screams as something tugs on his leg, almost pulling him under water.

"Hyunjin!"- you panic, trying to swim closer to him as he flaps around.

You're scared until you come close to him and he suddenly stops the dramatic flapping and gives you a dumb smirk.

"There's nothing, I was joking."- he says calmly and you smack his shoulder.

"You asshole! I was really scared for a sec! Why would you do that?"- you whine at him and he pouts at you, arms wrapping around your waist as he pulls you into his body.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to joke around a little. I wont do that again, I promise. I'll make it up to you, please don't be mad."- he continues pouting as you try to ignore him, even though your arms are wrapped around his shoulders.

"Start making up for it now and I'll think about forgiving you."- you smirk and Hyunjin presses himself closer to you, your breasts pressed against his chest. He leans in and you make out in the water, forgetting about the cold and the fact that someone could catch you in that moment. You don't care about any of that, you only care about Hyunjin's arms around you and his tongue licking into your mouth.

"Let's get out of here."- you smirk and both of you swim back to the beach and get out of the water, still holding hands.

You sit on your towel and Hyunjin grabs his, wrapping it around the both of you. You start kissing immediately, feeling like you're finally making up for all the years of pining over each other.

Your limbs tangle together, hands roaming all over each other's bodies and both of you heat up again after cooling down in the water. Hyunjin's hands come up to cup your breasts and you moan into his mouth as he runs his thumbs on your perky nipples.

"Hyun..."- you moan, arching into his touch.

"I want you."- he whispers on your lips.

"Here?"- you giggle, caressing the back of his neck.

"Mhm. Here. I can't wait anymore."- he whines.

"Ah, me either. I want you too."- you say, your hands tangling in his wet hair.

"I have a condom in my pocket somewhere."- he tries to find his pants but you grab his hand.

"I want to feel you completely."- you say, your voice low as you look at him with eyes full of lust.

"Fuck... Okay darling, whatever you want."- Hyunjin says, his pupils blown.

He can't wait anymore as he lays you down, plump lips attaching to your neck, his hands massaging your breasts and you feel arousal drip between your legs, you need him more than you've needed anything in your life ever.

He bites down into your skin, sucking on it and you moan, gripping his bicep. Your hand slides to his wrist and you guide his hand between your legs.

"Touch me, please."- you whimper.

"Gladly."- Hyunjin whispers, his fingers on your clit immediately, massaging the bundle of nerves in circles as he kisses you again, his tongue playing with yours. He swallows every moan you release, your hips lifting up into his touch as he runs his fingers over your wet folds.

"So wet. All this for me?"- he asks as he leans back and looks at you, caressing your hair.

"Only for you."- you answer and he presses two of his fingers on your entrance, silently asking for permission as he looks into your eyes. You nod and he bites on his lip, slowly pushing his digits into you.

"Ah!"- you moan, nails digging into the towel below you as he pushes in deeply, curling his fingers to find that gummy spot that drives you crazy.

You spread your legs for him, his hand speeding up, the tips of his fingers hitting that sweet spot over and over again making you see stars. He scissors his fingers inside you, the wet sounds of your arousal melting into the sound of the waves crashing together in front of your heated bodies.

You spill your juices over his fingers as you arch you back and grip his wrist, pushing him deeper into you as you ride out your orgasm.

"Fuck, you're so hot babygirl."- Hyunjin groans before pulling his fingers out of you and putting them in his mouth.

"Mm."- he moans around them. "Taste so sweet."

"Please Hyun, I need you."- you whimper, grabbing at him and pulling him closer to you.

"You don't have to beg, sweet girl. I'll give you anything you want."- he smirks at you, stroking his cock before pushing between your folds slowly, his eyes staring into yours intensely.

You moan loudly, the stretch is delicious as he fills you up, sliding himself slowly into you so you feel every inch of his hard cock opening up your pussy.

"Mm you're so tight."- Hyunjin moans into your ear as he leans down closer to you, his hands resting on your hips. "Feels so good to finally be inside you."

"Ah, Hyun- move, please."- you whine, burning up for him and him only.

He starts slowly fucking into you as you wrap your legs and arms around him bringing him even closer to you, wanting your bodies to melt into each other like the sea foam melting over the sand. Everything disappears around you except the ocean and Hyunjin. He's deep inside you, his tip kissing your cervix repeatedly as your pussy stretches to take him perfectly, like it was made just for his cock. And as you rock together, you realize you love him, you've loved him for years and even though you never had a taste of him before tonight, none of the people you tasted before made you this hungry for them. No one could compare to Hyunjin, nothing could compare to the feelings running deep inside you, deeper than the dark ocean murmuring before you.

"Y/n, are you okay? Am I hurting you?!"- Hyunjin looks panicked and just then you feel the tears sliding down your cheeks.

"No, no. You're perfect."- you say and his eyes soften as he slowly starts moving his hips again.

"Then what's wrong, darling?"- he asks.

"I... I love you, Hyunjin."- you say with all your heart and Hyunjin practically melts, his face breaking into the happiest smile you've ever seen.

"I love you too, y/n. I've loved you for years. Don't cry, my darling."- he wipes your tears away.

"Make me yours, Hyunjin. Fuck me and make me yours."- you plead as you grab onto him desperately and he grips your hips, eyes rolling back as he starts fucking you faster.

The feeling of his cock splitting you apart, his hips slapping into yours, your mixed breaths and moans makes the sea inside you rise, the waves crashing over you as your hearts wild inside your chests, the ocean wilding together with the two of you, almost tickling at your feet.

"I'll make you mine, darling. Only mine."- Hyunjin groans, one of his hands on your breast and his mouth busy with your nipple as he fucks his cock into you harshly. You can't take anymore and with the crashing wave you snap and explode, squirting on his pulsating cock.

"Mm Hyunjin!"- you moan his name as he fucks you through your high, hips becoming sloppier before he twitches inside you, and then paints your insides with his warm cum, pushing as deep as he can to make you only his.

"Wow."- he breathes hard, leaning his forehead on your shoulder as you wrap your arms around him and hold him tightly.

"Wow indeed."- you say and he lifts his head up, giving you the cutest smile that reaches his eyes.

"I love you."- he whispers.

"I love you."- you whisper back and he pecks your lips gently, sweetly.

"Let's get out of here before we freeze our asses off."- you add and he chuckles, kissing your forehead.

"I really needed that warm shower."- you shiver under the blanket that Hyunjin found in the wardrobe.

"Same."- he says, sliding under the cover with you. "Are you still cold?"

"Mhm."- you nod.

"Come here, we'll warm each other up."- he says as he opens his arms and you roll into his embrace lazily making him giggle. You wrap around each other, limbs and hearts tangled together as you breathe each other in.

"I feel like I'm in high school."- you giggle, your fingers playing with the hair on the nape of his neck. His hand rests on your waist as he caresses you gently.

"Yeah, like were sneaking around from our parents after our curfew."- Hyunjin chuckles. "Oh, would you let me sketch you? Or maybe paint you even?"- he asks, his hand coming up to caress your cheek.

"You brought your supplies with you?"- you ask.

"I don't go anywhere without them. Just in case inspiration hits, you know?"- he smiles, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Okay, I'll be your inspiration then."- you smirk and lean in to kiss his soft lips.

"Remind me... to show you... some art tomorrow."- Hyunjin mumbles between kisses.

"Mhm."- you mutter against his lips, unable to detach yourself away from him. You wish you could stay like this forever, close to your Hyunjin, your lips attached to his like he was giving you air.

You have no idea how long you kissed each other like that before the two of you fell asleep, holding each other as close as you could.

The sunlight is almost blinding as it comes through the window, the warmness of it and of your lover's body so close to yours make you wanna spend the whole day in bed, wrapped in the blanket and wrapped up in Hyunjin.

His face is smushed into your chest, his arm and leg around you holding you tightly. You chuckle quietly, lips pressed to his forehead as you comb your fingers through his soft hair.

"Mm."- he mutters, nuzzling between your breasts.

"You having fun there?"- you poke at him and he chuckles quietly before rubbing his face on your skin gently.

"I don't wanna move."- his voice is slightly muffled and you giggle, knuckles brushing his cheek.

"Me either but we kinda have to get up."- you say.

"Says who?"- Hyunjin mumbles, leaving little kisses on the valley of your breast.

"Nicki. She wants us girls to go to the beach and then have a spa day."- Hyunjin groans at that, holding you tighter.

"So, you're leaving me again?"- he finally looks up at you and you chuckle at his squinty eyes and pouty lips.

"You'll have me later again."- you smirk.

"Okay, deal."- he nods, pouting at you cutely like he's begging for a kiss. You lean in, still smirking, so close to his lips but you stop there, waiting for him to react to your teasing.

Hyunjin whines and opens his eyes.

"Kiss me."- he pouts again and you chuckle, pressing your lips on his, both of you melting into each other instantly.

"I'll miss you until later."- Hyunjin whispers and your heart flutters as he caresses you everywhere he can reach, his lips on your skin.

"I'll miss you too."

"You what?!"- Nicki screams when you tell her the details of last night.

"Lower your voice, please."- you smack her arm as you look around the beach.

"You fucked on this beach?! You guys are more adventurous than I thought."- she wiggles her eyebrows with a sly smirk, pushing you playfully.

"We couldn't wait to get to our room so..."- you smirk and she almost screams again, both of you giggling like crazy.

"What else?"- she asks.

You thought about telling her how you've already confessed love to each other, but for some reason that felt so intimate to you that for now you wanted to keep that between you and Hyunjin.

You told her some other details and Nicki was estatic for you, as happy as you are for her and Josh. You talked about the bachelorette and the wedding, Nicki being so excited about all of it that she was practically walking on water.

You had a fun time actually swimming during the day, when you can see how clear the ocean is, the sun reflecting off of the water making everything look a hundred times more special and wondrous.

After the beach, you and the girls hit the spa, needing a self-care day and you tried all the different massages you had no idea even existed.

Feeling extraordinarily relaxed after the spa and yummy lunch, you were basically ready for a nap.

As you walk back into your suite, you hear some faint music coming from the balcony.

You follow the sound and peek out of the door, Hyunjin's sitting on one of the chairs, a sketchbook in his hands as he draws.

You lean on the door frame, staring at him fondly as his hand glides expertly over the rough paper.

"You can admire me from afar, but I think you'd like me better up front."- he smirks, eyes not leaving the sketch he's working on.

"Haha, very funny, Prince."- you say mockingly and he chuckles, looking up at you.

"I mean it, pretty. Come closer."- he wiggles his finger at you, you roll your eyes playfully but make your way to him.

"Closer."- he tugs on your arm gently as you stand in front of him.

"A little bit closer."- he adds as you start leaning in.

You smirk and tease him, your hands coming up to cup his cheeks.

"Almost there."- he whispers, your lips close to his and you give in and kiss him with a smile on your lips. His free hand comes up to hold the back of your neck as he deepens the kiss, breathing you in like you're his oxygen.

"What are you sketching?"- you ask when you part.

"I was sketching the sky but now that you're here, I'd like to sketch you."- he smiles.

"Alright."- you nod, sitting down on the other chair. Hyunjin pours you some lemonade, flipping his page as he gets back into his drawing.

You talk about anything and everything, he lets you look through his other sketchbooks and you admire how far he's come with his work. The drawings and paintings are more intricate, more heavy and emotional, deeper than the doodles he made in high school.

He seems proud of his work but also bashful, the paintings bare the artists soul to the world after all.

"Here."- Hyunjin gives you the sketchbook so you can look at his sketch of you.

"Oh wow, you made me so beautiful."- you say and he laughs sweetly.

"I draw what I see."- he smiles.

"Stop that."- you say embarassingly, your cheeks heating up.

"Never."- Hyunjin smirks and you shake your head at him.

"No, but really, all of your work is so beautiful. You really deserve to have it hung in a gallery so the whole world can admire it."- you say and Hyunjin's cheeks are pink as he leans towards you, his hands resting on your thighs.

"You're so sweet, you know that?"- his eyes fill with something you recognize as desire, the same look he gave you on the beach last night.

The nap you needed is long forgotten as Hyunjin starts massaging your bare thighs.

"Let's get inside."- you whisper and he smirks.

Teeth clashing and fingers digging into your skin, you clumsily make your way to the bed, kissing and bumping into furniture on the way.

Your hands slide under Hyunjin's shirt and you explore his waist and abs, fingers coming up to play with his nipples, your lips attaching to his neck. He groans, gripping at your dress as you suck on his skin, just below his ear.

"Mm, darling."- he moans and you slide his shirt up, signaling him to lift up his arms so you can take it off. You throw it somewhere on the side and push Hyunjin down on the bed.

He falls with a thud and a giggle, his face red as he looks at you like you're the sun itself.

You straddle him, leaning down to attach your lips on his skin again, worship his beautiful body as you kiss him everywhere you can reach, the sweet scent of him filling up your nose and taking over your brain.

Little grunts and moans leave Hyunjin's pink plump lips and you keep sliding lower, your fingers hooking into his pants as you kiss his abs.

He looks down at you with lust, lifting his hips off the bed and you slide his pants and boxers down, throwing them aside carelessly too.

Your hand wraps around his length, his pretty pink tip glistening with precum and you lean in and lick at it, making Hyunjin's eyes roll in the back of his head.

"B-baby..."- he whines quietly, legs spreading subtly and you smirk, wrapping your lips around him, your tongue playing with the sensitive underside.

Your hand is still wrapped around the base of his cock as you keep teasing him, moving slowly and only concentrating on his tip.

"Darling, more, please!"- Hyunjin whines, pushing his hips towards your face desperately and you oblige, gripping his hips to hold him still as you slowly slide down to take more of him.

"Mm, fuck!"- he whimpers as you start bobbing your head up and down, your hand working what doesn't fit in your mouth, your other hand fondling his balls, squeezing them gently.

Pretty moans and grunts keep spilling out of his lips as he struggles not to fuck up into your mouth harshly. You keep speeding up and trying to take as much of him as you can, you eyes watering when he almost hits the back of your throat, making you gag.

"Fuck, darling you look so pretty like that."- Hyunjin moans as you give it your all, sucking on his dick like it's the tastiest lollipop ever.

Hyunjin buzzes with arousal, legs shaking as his fingers tangle into your hair. You moan around him, sending vibrations through his cock. Hyunjin looks down at you with so much lust in his eyes that it makes you shiver.

You're almost sore but you don't wanna stop, not until you make him cum and it doesn't take Hyunjin too long to explode, his cum hitting the back of your throat, making you choke on it as you swallow as quickly as you can.

Hyunjin gasps and whimpers, his hand gripping your hair harder as you milk him dry. He shakes from oversensitivity and gently tugs at your hair.

"P-please... sensitive..."- he whines and you lift off of him, licking at your lips.

He leans on his elbows, his eyes fluttering as he shakes his head slightly.

"Let me return the favor, darling."- he says and you crawl closer to him, your lips on his, making him taste himself on your tongue.

"Can we- can we continue in the shower? I've always wanted to try that."- you say shyly, your face warm, your cunt wet and throbbing for Hyunjin.

"You're so naughty, babygirl."- Hyunjin smirks, hands wrapping around you and gripping your ass. You moan in arousal and embarassment as you accidentally grind against his thigh.

"Can we?"- you ask again.

"Ofcourse baby. Your wish is my command."- Hyunjin kisses you and you make your way to the bathroom, peeling your clothes off on the way there.

Both of you step into the shower, Hyunjin attaching his body to your back, his semi hard cock pressing into your plush ass as you fiddle with the buttons on the shower.

He gently moves your hair to one side, his lips on the back of your neck as he kisses you slowly and gently, his hands coming up to cup your breasts as he runs his fingers on your nipples.

You moan, relaxing into him as your eyes flutter closed, the warm water from the shower spraying on your legs.

Hyunjin slides one of his hands down between your legs, his fingertips finding your sensitive clit as he starts playing with it, pressing it in circling motions.

"Mm, Hyunjin please!"- you moan, leaning into his touch. He's all over you, playing your body like an instrument and you can't get enough of him, you just want more and more.

You grab his hands and turn around.

"You still wanna return the favor?"- you smirk.

"Yeah, yeah."- Hyunjin nods eagerly.

"Get on your knees."- you say and he looks surprised before he chuckles.

"Alright, I don't mind kneeling for you."- he smirks and kneels in front of you. A gush of arousal drips between your legs when you see such a pretty man looking up at you like you're everything to him and waiting eagerly to please you.

You hook your leg around him, your foot resting on his back as you bring him closer to your dripping cunt.

Hyunjin whines and buries his face into you, his tongue lapping at your sweet pussy greedily. His eyes are closed, long eyelashes fluttering, his nose massaging your clit in the right way as he buries his tongue deep inside you and fucks you with it.

"Oh my god- Hyune, ah!"- you moan, gripping his hair harshly and pushing his face further into you.

He moans and whines as he keeps moving his tongue expertly inside you, his eyes opened and staring up at you. The look in his eyes as he grips your ass makes you almost double over and you're sure you would slip and fall if he wasn't holding onto you. Your moans echo in the small space of the shower but in that moment you don't give a flying fuck about anyone hearing you. You can't help it as your hips start grinding on Hyunjin's face and his eyes flutter shut again as he lets you use him until you're almost screaming, the coil inside you snapping as you squirt on his face and lips. Hyunjin moans with you, cleaning you up with his tongue as you whimper, your legs shaking and ears ringing.

He leans back, smirking at you and you see that his dick is fully hard now again.

"So good, Hyune. So good."- you whine, grabbing at him as he slowly lifts up.

He leans his forehead on yours, his cock slotting between your hips, dragging against your wet pussy.

"I can't get enough of you."- he whispers.

"Me too. I need you, I need you inside me."- you gasp, rubbing your pussy against his heavy cock.

"I'll give it to you, babygirl."- Hyunjin smirks, eyes glazed over with lust as he grips the underside of your hips and lifts you up. You squeal and wrap your legs around his waist, the tip of his cock pressed against your entrance.

You move your hips towards his and he wastes no more time, lining up with you and pushing his cock in.

You groan, nails digging into his shoulders as he slowly pushes in until he bottoms out, his tip kissing your cervix, his cock stretching you deliciously again.

"So big."- you whine, throwing your head back and he chuckles.

"Hold onto me, darling."- he grips your ass, lifting you up slightly and then pushing you down on his cock again. You moan loudly, your arms wrapping around his shoulders as he keeps ramming you on his hard cock, hips fucking up into you at the same time, making your brain turn into mush.

He kisses your neck and grunts into your ear as you surrender completely, your head thrown back, eyes shut tightly, limbs completely wrapped around him, pussy stuffed with his cock.

You've gone delirious at this point and you can't even think or form coherent words, and you can see that Hyunjin's in the same state of disarray.

"Cum. Need to cum."- you whimper.

"Let go, babygirl."- he whispers into your ear and you release your juices all over his cock, making everything even more wet and slippery as you clench around him.

"Shit, ah!"- Hyunjin keeps pushing his cock harshly into you, burying himself as deep as he can and making a home inside you as he groans your name and spills his cum into you.

Both of you hold onto each other as you slowly move, riding out your high. Hyunjin's legs tremble for a second and he slowly pulls out and puts you down, his arms wrapped around you.

Your arms are wrapped around his waist, your bodies pressed together, your face buried in his neck as he caresses your head and you find comfort in his embrace and in the warmth radiating from his body and his heart.

You're sitting on your side of the bed, texting Nicki about some details for the bachelorette party tomorrow when Hyunjin joins you.

He slides on the bed comically, laying his head in your lap and poking at your arm to get your attention. You put your phone aside and chuckle at him.

"It's almost over."- you sigh.

"What is?"- he asks.

You put your hand in his hair and caress him gently and his eyes flutter, lips pouty.

"This wonderful dream. Soon, we have to go back to the real world."- you say wistfully.

"The good feeling doesn't have to end. We can carry it back with us."- Hyunjin smiles at you, grabbing your other hand and kissing your knuckles gently.

"You think so?"

"Mhm. Especially if... if you wanna give us a chance."- he looks at you hopefully, his cheeks rosy.

"Ofcourse I do. It's all I've wanted for years."- you smile and he chuckles in relief.

"Then we can continue dreaming together."- he sits up, hands cupping your cheeks as he kisses you lovingly, pouring his emotions from his lips to yours.

"You know, I have sketchbooks from high school that are full of drawings of you."- Hyunjin smiles bashfully as you lay down and hold each other.

"I have like 4 diaries worth of simping over you. Oof, that was so cringy!"- you cover your face in embarassment and Hyunjin laughs.

"Oh my god, that's so adorable!"- he says, pulling your hands away so he can look at you and you feel your face burning.

"Nooo, it's embarassing!"- you whine.

"You gotta show them to me."

"God, no!"

"Yes, please y/n! It's cute, we can laugh at it together!"- he pouts, batting his eyelashes at you.

"Alright, alright. You know I can't say no to that face."- you sigh and he smirks.

"Hehe, fun."- Hyunjin mocks and you roll your eyes.

"You're lucky I love you."- you say.

"Damn right I am."- he kisses you.

Between all the sweet kisses and the whispered words of love, you know this is what you were waiting for.

You and Hyunjin decide to wake up early the next morning so you can go to the beach before Nicki snatches you away for some girl time.

You cut up some fruit to take with you with Hyunjin hovering behind you the whole time, his hands roaming all over your body, pulling you into him.

You grab your towels and some other things you need before you skip down to the beach, holding hands.

It's pretty early when you arrive and the beach is not crowded, making it all feel more intimate as Hyunjin and you strip to your bathing suits and make your way to the water.

It all feels like a dream you don't wanna wake up from, the two of you relaxed and playful with each other, splashing around and racing each other.

You feel partly like a kid again, just enjoying the simple moments in life, that veil of wonder covering your eyes and making everything look beautiful and mystical again. And partly you feel like the luckiest woman alive when Hyunjin pulls you into his loving embrace, your heart giddy as electricity runs through you waking up every neuron inside your brain. If this is what being in love is like, and having your feelings reciprocated, you never want it to stop.

"Bestie, you don't understand how happy I am for you!"- Nicki squeals excitedly, throwing her arms around you and almost throwing you off balance.

You and the other girls are gathered in her suite, getting ready for her party, and you finally told her how you and Hyunjin already said 'I love you' to each other.

"You don't think it's kinda going too fast?"- you ask, biting on your lip nervously.

"God, no! You've been crazy for each other for years. It's about time you came clean with your feelings."

"I'm just worried, something that goes up fast usually crashes and burns down fast too."- you sigh.

"Don't be ridiculous. Those are years worth of feelings. You and Hyunjin were made for each other, and deep down you know that. Don't let any bad thoughts or insecurities make you believe otherwise."

"You always know what to say."- you chuckle at your friend. "But enough about me, let's get ready for your party!"- you add excitedly.

You decide to wear one of the lingerie sets you brought, lacy and almost see through, your mind already making up scenarios of Hyunjin taking it off of you. You put on a sparkly short dress that accentuates all your curves perfectly, your make up is sultry and smoky. When you finish with the final touches, you look into the mirror and feel so happy that the whole outfit looks even better on you than you've imagined.

The party is held in one of the resort's 'dance rooms', and there is so much food and alcohol around that you have no idea where to start.

It starts off with all of you taking shots and congratulating Nicki and as the night goes on, more alcohol is being poured into your glasses, there's laughter, tears and dancing as all of you celebrate Nicki's last 'free' night and the beginning of a new chapter in her relationship.

By the time you stumble back into your suite, you're a bit tipsy and not expecting Hyunjin to already be there. He peers from the kitchen as you shut the door too loudly on accident.

"Oh, Hyune. You're back already."- you make your way to him and he chuckles as he takes your hands in his.

"Are you a bit drunk, baby?"- he asks as you face plant into his chest and whine.

"Just a little bit."- you say, your voice muffled.

"Luckily for you, I just made some coffee."- he smiles and you lean back, wearing a stupid smile on your face, making him laugh.

"You're cute."- you coo at him, your palms on his cheeks, squishing them together and making his lips pop out.

"I think that's you."- he manages to say and you chuckle and kiss him.

"Drink some coffee."- he adds when you part.

The coffee is warm and just how you like it, the two of you sharing the love for the bitter taste of the dark liquid.

You end up on the couch as you sip on your coffee, some light music playing in the background as the two of you talk. Hyunjin's hand ends up on your bare thigh as he squeezes it.

"You look sexy."- he says, always so forward with his compliments and you feel arousal pool between your legs, already under his spell just from the way he looks at you and gently massages your thigh.

"Oh yeah? Are you gonna do something about that?"- you smirk, now sobered up.

"As a matter of fact I will."- he smirks back at you, grabbing your face and crashing his lips on yours, making you whimper as he bites on your bottom lip, his tongue licking at it. You open your mouth and your tongues dance together, battling for dominance until you let him have it and moan into his mouth. The muffled sounds and the shared kisses make you both throb for each other.

But Hyunjin has other plans in his mind, no matter how much he just wants to lift up your dress and fuck you into oblivion.

He leans back, his eyes dark and narrowing at you. You gulp as he slowly kneels in front of you, the carpet giving some relief to his bare knees.

"Your feet must hurt in these."- his hand covers the top of your foot in your strappy heels.

"Actually, they do."- you nod, catching your lip between your teeth in anticipation.

"Let me."- he whispers as he starts undoing your heel. He slowly takes it off of your foot, before his hands wrap around you and he starts massaging you. You gasp, having no idea how much your feet were actually hurting until Hyunjin started pressing his fingers into them.

You relax, leaning back on the couch as he takes off your other heel, his hands kneading your feet. You've never had a man touch your feet like that but the fact that it was Hyunjin, made your head float. You throw your head back, little grunts and moans of relief leaving your lips, as you spread your legs subtly, your panties now soaking wet.

Hyunjin notices your legs opening up and your body shivering a little and he leans in, one of his hands on your thigh and the other still holding your foot. You look down at him as he leans in, leaving kisses on your inner thigh and you whimper as he keeps touching you and kissing you. Your foot reaches down to press his erection through his shorts and Hyunjin jerks his hips up, gasping in surprise.

"Y/n!"- he whines and you smirk, massaging his hard cock with your foot, moving it up and down until you feel his shorts dampen with pre cum. Hyunjin has a death grip on your thighs, his nails digging into your flesh as his eyes close, brows furrowed and lips parted. Pretty groans and whines spill from his lips as you start circling his wet head with your toes.

"Fuck!"- he grips you harder, glassy eyes looking up at you.

"I didn't know you were into feet this much."- you smirk.

"P-please don't judge me."- he whines, his hips moving up into your touch involuntarily.

"I'm not judging you, baby. I think you look so pretty right now, Hyune."- you coo at him, your hand cupping his chin and making him look up at you.

"Mm darling..."- he whimpers as you speed up. "You better stop now cause I'm gonna cum."- he licks his lips and you chuckle, pressing into his cock harder before you move your foot completely.

Hyunjin seems on edge already and you feel proud that you can make him unravel with just your foot on his clothed dick. He slides his hands to the hem of your dress and slowly rolls it up, revealing your lacy panties.

"Fuck, sweetheart."- Hyunjin chuckles darkly. Before you can even say anything, his hands hook under your thighs and he pulls you closer to his face harshly, his nose and lips pressed into your lace covered cunt immediately.

"H-Hyunjin!"- you gasp as you grip at the couch, your heart leaping out your chest for a moment. He licks over your damp panties, making them even more wet. Your legs rest on his shoulders and you tangle your hands in his hair as he grips your ass, pushing his face into you.

"M-more, please!"- you beg and Hyunjin sneaks his hands between your thighs, spreading them apart before he grips your panties and rips them apart.

"Oh my god!"- you whimper as you peer down at his lustful face.

"I'll buy you new ones."- he chuckles and dives back in, tongue lapping at your juices.

"Mm. Don't care."- you moan, gripping his hair and holding him in place. Hyunjin closes his eyes and eats you out like a man starved as your legs close around his head, pressing him between your thighs.

You're going crazy for him, grinding on his face and he lets you take control as you keep fucking his face faster, chasing your release.

Hyunjin thinks his head is gonna explode with the strength you squeeze him with as you get closer, your moans getting more high pitched, movements getting more erratic and desperate.

"Ah, ah, fuck Hyune!"- you scream out as you cum, squirting all over his face.

Hyunjin seems surprised for a second and you feel a little embarassed.

"Shit, I'm sorry! I kinda lost myself in it."- you say, your cheeks heating up.

"God y/n, don't apologize. That was the hottest fucking thing ever."- Hyunjin licks around his lips and you feel your pussy clench around nothing.

"Really?"- you ask and instead of answering, Hyunjin stands up, taking his clothes off fast before he hovers over you and starts slowly sliding your dress off.

He loves the lacy bra you wore but he doesn't want any obstacles in his way so he snaps it open and takes it off of you, tossing it aside.

He leans down to kiss you, his lips pressing hard into you, bruising and making you taste yourself on his tongue. You grab at him desperately and he slides his arms under your thighs again but this time he lifts you up like you're as light as a feather. You whine and he sits down on the couch with you on top of him.

"I want you to ride me, darling."- he smirks at you, hands on your breasts, playing with your perky nipples.

"As you wish, Hyune."- your lips tremble as you grab his painfully hard cock, he gasps and pushes up into you, his lips parting as he stares at you.

You move his tip against your wet cunt making both of you moan as you lean in to kiss him and bite his pretty plump lips. You can't wait anymore and by the twitching of his cock against you, you know he can't wait anymore either so you sink down on him slowly.

He looks down at where the two of you are connected and groans.

"You take me so well, baby."- he praises and you mewl, slowly moving your hips in circles.

"Your cock was made for me, Hyune."- you lean your forehead on his and he breathes out a shaky breath.

"Mm yes baby, only for you."- he whimpers as you grab onto his shoulders and start slowly sliding up and down on him.

Hyunjin lets you set the pace as his hands roam all over your body, mapping you out, sketching you in his mind already.

You press your chest into his and the two of you kiss as he starts slowly fucking up into you, matching your movement. You fuck on each other slowly for some time before you need more, your cunt stretching more and more to adjust his length and girth and you need him harder, deeper.

You lean back and start bouncing faster on him, fucking yourself on his hard cock as he hits you so deeply, where no one has ever reached before. Your nails dig into his shoulders, and you throw your head back as you keep rocking on him faster and faster. Hyunjin looks at you mesmerized, his cock twitching inside you and he knows he wont be able to last much longer. The way you lose yourself in pleasure, your tits bouncing as your pussy takes him in deeply, keeping him wet and warm, clenching around him in a deathly grip has him counting stars.

He grips your hips and starts fucking up into you relentlessly, hitting your sweet spot with every strong thrust. You almost scream out in pleasure as you cum hard, squirting on his cock, the pleasure spreading through your body, from your head all the way to your toes.

Hyunjin grunts and moans your name as he throbs inside you, his cock twitching as he explodes, the warm cum spurting inside you and hitting your cervix pushing you over the edge again.

You collapse into his opened arms and you hold each other tightly as you come down from your high.

"You're gonna be the death of me."- Hyunjin whispers into your hair. "I don't mind it, though."- he adds and you chuckle, still trying to get yourself together. You slowly lift off of him and feel his cum drip out of you.

Hyunjin looks down and whines, his hand coming between your legs as he gathers some of his and your cum mixed together, and then brings his fingers to your lips. Your eyes flutter as your wrap them around the tips of his fingers and lick them clean, slowly and sensually, never breaking eye contact with him. You slide down taking more of his fingers in and sucking on them.

Hyunjin bites on his lips before slowly pulling his fingers away from you.

"I think we should sleep now, if we want to be awake for the wedding tomorrow."- he chuckles at your pouty face.

"What time is it even?"- you ask.

Hyunjin looks around for his phone that's also the source of music you've completely forgotten while the two of you were intertwined with each other.

"Oh wow, it's almost 4am."- he laughs and you gasp.

"Okay, you're right, we really need to sleep."- you say and the two of you clean up and get ready for bed.

"Tomorrow's the big day."- Hyunjin mumbles as you melt into his arms.

"Mhm. And basically our last day here."- you say, pressing your lips on his neck.

"We gotta use that to our advantage."- he wiggles his eyebrows, making you giggle as you look up at him.

"Sure, we will."

"I love you."- Hyunjin whispers, lips brushing your forehead.

"I love you."

Immediately after breakfast the next morning, you and Hyunjin had to start getting ready for the actual wedding.

He offered to help you style your hair and you helped him with his tie.

Your hands tremble in excitement as you tie it, Hyunjin's eyes never leaving your face.

"Too tight?"- you ask and look up at him.

"No, it's perfect."- he smiles, seeing you in the beautiful dress you had on makes his heart beat wildly in his chest.

You look him up and down, the sight of him looking so freaking handsome in a suit has you folding for him.

"You look unreal."- you say and Hyunjin laughs, throwing his head back a little.

"Really? Have you seen yourself, baby?"- he asks.

"Just take my compliment, okay?"- you chuckle.

"Okay."- he shakes his head, smiling fondly.

The setting of the actual wedding on the beach is ethereal, even though there were so many people and you feel a little overwhelmed, Hyunjin is there to hold your hand.

Both of you are glued to each other, you being a little anxious and him being an introvert, and you feel like you're still in this bubble where it's just the two of you there and no one else.

Nicki looks absolutely breathtaking, the smile gracing her face is probably the happiest one you've ever seen.

You and Hyunjin stand together on her side as she exchanges vows with her soon to be husband. Ofcourse, you can't help but start crying and Hyunjin puts his arms around you, comforting you with his gentle touch and whispers of love.

"Fyi, I want a small wedding."- you say between sobs.

"Oh?"- Hyunjin chuckles and you gasp.

"Ignore that. I don't know why I said that."- your face heats up as you wipe your tears away.

"Good to know. For the future."- he smirks, leaning into you and kissing your cheek.

Everything seems absolutely perfect, the weather, the food, the music, the overall vibe feels impeccable. Especially after the first dance of the newlyweds, when the dancefloor opens for everyone else, and Hyunjin takes your hand in his leading you out to dance under the stars.

It's cliche but you feel like your feet aren't even touching the ground as you glide with your lover, it's like you're floating on air and the rest of the world doesn't exist.

"What happens when we go back?"- you ask, a sudden nervousness washing through you.

"I was hoping you'd be my girlfriend and we can continue loving each other just like this."- Hyunjin smiles, his eyes shiny.

"I love the sound of that."- you smile back at him and lean up to kiss his lips.

You hope the feeling of weightlessness with Hyunjin lasts forever.

(Hyunjin accidentally catches the bouquet later on and everyone teases you that you're next.)

Taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght

#skz x reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids #skz smut #skz fluff #hyunjin x reader #stray kids smut #hwang hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x you #hyunjin smut #hyunjin fluff #hwang hyunjin smut #hyunjin scenarios #skz scenarios #stray kids fluff

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heart-of-the-morningstar · 9 months ago

Text

✨Feathers✨

Hey hey hey, I’m back! Took a tiny break but I had another idea for a spicy Luci scenario! But this one is super tender cuz Luci needs some TLC like nobody's business! 🥺

This turned out a little more dom!reader then initially planned but I'm happy about it

Big thank you to some of the anons I received for the ideas! I very much appreciate everyone who's given anything I've written their love!

Lucifer x f!sinner reader

Summary: Lucifer's wings are not in the greatest shape, you offer to help clean them...

Warnings: 18+, smut, handjob, oral (m & f receiving), p in v, cockwarming, dom!reader and sub!lucifer if you squint

It had been a pretty quiet day in house. Lucifer was off with his daughter Charlie for the day, they’ve had quite a bit of father/daughter bonding to catch up on. But this gave you the chance to work on something that you’ve been wanting to make for some time now. It was a secret project, keeping things from Lucifer was harder than it seemed. But with the home to yourself, you were finally able to finish the gift you wanted to give him! Just as you were admiring your work, a portal opened up behind you; Lucifer was back! Quickly, you hid his gift under your pillow before he could see anything. Lucifer stepped through the portal and into your bedroom; you noticed his wings spread out behind him.

“Hi, honey,” you greeted as you walked over to him, planting a small peck on his forehead. He smiled, grabbing your hand and placing a kiss on it in return. “How was your day with Charlie?”

“It was really nice! We went for a little flight, as you can tell,” he laughed, gesturing to his wings. Lucifer’s wings always left you in awe, you couldn’t help but stare at them. But upon further inspection, you saw that they seemed a little worse for wear. You wondered when the last time they were properly taken care of, since you've never seen him actually do anything with them.

“Hey Luci, your wings are looking a little…” you hesitated, looking for the right word, “disheveled. Is everything alright?”

"Ahh," Lucifer sighed, "yeah, I uhh...I'll admit, I haven't paid them much attention. Not in a long while."

You knew that he had been by himself for a long time before you came along. He had mentioned his battles with self isolation and depression that he had fought against for years, but he was never too keen on going into more detail than necessary. Looking back, it would make sense as to why his wings are in the state that they are. It saddened you, you wished you could have been there for him. It was time to make up for that.

"How about this," you proposed, "why don't I run us a bath and I'll help you clean them up. How does that sound?"

"O-Oh, are you sure?," he questioned, failing to hide the fact that his cheeks were now flushed. "They're kind of a pain, I don't want you to-" you cut off his protests with a peck. You felt his lips curl into a smile.

"Nothing's a pain when it comes to you, Lucifer," you assured. "Go get ready and I'll see you in a few minutes, alright? Tonight, let me take care of you."

"Of course," he grinned, "thank you, my angel."

*** Lucifer saw you smile and make your way to the bathroom that was connected to your bedroom. As soon as the door closed, he let out a long sigh. It really had been years since he’s taken care of his wings. It was a lot easier when there was someone there to help. When Lilith left, it became a much more daunting task. He began to undo his button up shirt, tossing it onto the bed and moved on to undoing his belt. But suddenly, he stopped once the buckle had been unhooked. Shit, he thought to himself, realizing he’d forgotten how sensitive his wings were, my wings being touched are drive me insane! I don’t think I’ll be able to keep it together, especially not after years of just letting them go! He sucked in a few deep breaths and continued removing the belt from his pants. It’s fine, it’s fine…as long as I don’t make a noise or turn around. Just focus, Lucifer. For Satan’s sake, you’re the king of Hell!

Lucifer undid his zipper, letting his pants and boxers drop to the floor and kicking them off to the side. Unfortunately, he could already feel the blood rushing between his legs in anticipation. No, no, no!, he scolded himself, we’re not doing this. We’re getting our wings washed and we’re going to bed! I’m not letting this turn into anything other than a nice bath! She CANNOT think I’m just some touch starved pervert! I’m not! He inhaled deeply and ran his fingers through his hair, trying his best to calm down. After a minute, he made his way to the bathroom, placing his hand on the knob.

“I’m so fucked,” he whispered to himself before slowly opening the door.

*** It was fortunate that Lucifer had such a spacious home, that meant a more spacious bathroom as well. His bathtub could easily fit four people comfortably, but this at least gave you room to be able to work with his wings. You turned the water on to a nice warm temperature, making sure it wasn't too hot. You undressed as the bathtub began to fill, grabbing a soft washcloth from the closet and bubble bath soap after discarding your clothes. Once the tub was half full, you poured the soap in, letting it mix with the running water. The bubbles appeared fast, you couldn't see that water anymore after a few seconds. Finally, you brought the flow to a stop and dipped your toes in to test that waters. Perfect. You stepped in and slowly began to sink down into the warm liquid that heated your core. Lucky for you, his tub had seats along the sides so you could sit comfortably instead of sinking to the bottom! As soon as you were submerged just below your shoulders, you heard the bathroom door creaking behind you.

"Knock, knock!," Lucifer joked, hitting the already opened door with his knuckles. You chuckled as he closed the door behind him. Not that it was a new sight to you, but his naked figure never ceased to make you blush, as if he were perfectly sculpted. You shook your head, trying your best to focus on his face and not let your eyes wander anywhere else.

"Alright, let's see what we're working with," you stated, prompting Lucifer to conjure his wings once more. As you looked them over, you could tell it would take a little bit of time to clean them properly, but you were more than willing to help. You shifted over to the edge of the tub and offered Lucifer your hand. Smiling, he took hold as you guided him into the water with you. He sat down next you, turning his back so you could start working on his neglected feathers.

"Thank you for this," he spoke softly as you took the washcloth and began to work on his first set of wings. "I really don't deserve it, or you..."

"Luci, don't say that," you cut in, "I love you, and I want to help you. I'll always be here, I promise."

You heard him hum in response. He had a lot more feathers than you originally thought. You wanted to take your time, combing through every feather from his first set as they were the largest. You moved your attention down to his second set of wings after a few minutes. You were both quiet for a while as you continued your ministrations, running the washcloth thoroughly through each of his feathers, ridding them of any dirt. However, the sound of Lucifer's breathing becoming heavier with each passing minute did not go unnoticed by you. Wings were very sensitive areas after all. A tiny smile crept on your face. You had finally moved on to his last set of wings. They would be the easiest to take care of since they were the smallest, but you wanted to test your suspicions before you finished.

"Almost done," you hummed, "you doing alright?"

"YEAH, yeah," Lucifer answered almost too loudly, "I-I'm fine."

"That's good," you responded, gripping his feathers with just a little bit more force than necessary. You heard a small whimper escape Lucifer's throat, his hand shooting out of the water to cover his mouth. Bingo. "You sure you're alright, hon?"

"M-Mhmm," Lucifer mumbled into his palm.

"All clean," you purred, causing Lucifer's wings to disappear in a flash.

Lucifer stood up a little too fast trying to exit the tub, his back still towards you. "Thank you love, I really really appreciate you doing that for me, but I'm kind of tired so I'm gonna-" You didn't let him finish his sentence, grabbing onto his hips and pulling him into your lap, causing a large splash. "D-Darling, what are you doing?"

"And where do you think you're going?" you questioned, letting your hands run down his hips and towards his thighs. You heard Lucifer's breath hitch as your hands roamed dangerously close to his hard on. "What's the matter, baby? Were you hoping I wouldn't notice that you were getting turned on by all my touching? How cute."

You let your hand wander until you finally gripped his hardened cock. Lucifer could only let out a strangled yelp. All too pleased, you began to stroke his cock at an agonizingly slow pace. Lucifer tried to buck up at your touch, but your other arm was wrapped around his abdomen, keeping him flush to your chest. He wasn’t going anywhere.

“Now why would you try to hide this from me, Luci?,” you teased him as you began peppering kisses along the back of his neck.

“Hhng…I-I’m sorry, love,” he swallowed, “it…shit…it’s embarrassing. I shouldn’t h-have had that reaction while you were…ffffuuucckk…” He completely trailed off, only being able to focus on your movements. You had only picked up your pace slightly since you started, you wanted to make this last as long as possible. But unfortunately, you could feel your own arousal start to pulse between your legs. Without warning, you let go off his cock, causing to Lucifer to whimper at the loss of your hand. You swiftly stood up and hooked your arm under his legs, carrying him bridal style out of the tub. He looked up at you with a mixture of shock and arousal. Once you were fully out of the tub, you placed him onto the white marble floor.

"Stay," you commanded. Lucifer held his arms down at his sides, completely immobile. You sauntered over to the rack and grabbed the two fresh towels hanging there. After opening the bathroom door, you dried off your soaking body as quickly as you could before making your way back over to Lucifer with the other towel in hand. You patted his hair down first, then moved to his face and shoulders, working it down to his chest and stomach. You avoided touching the area he needed you to touch the most and finally finished by drying off his legs. "Get ready," you told him as you stood up straight once more. Before he could respond, you scooped him up in your arms again with the towel placed underneath him. You couldn't help but smile down at him once you say how flushed his face had gotten. You effortlessly carried your lover into the bedroom and placed him down on the edge of the bed. You took the towel and placed it on the floor, giving your knees some much needed cushion from the hard wooden floor.

"Sweetheart, p-please," Lucifer said, finally finding his voice again, "you don't have to-" You gently wrapped your fingers around the base of his cock, cutting him off mid-sentence. He could only yelp in response.

"I told you that I would take care of you tonight, did I not?" you replied with a coy smile. "That's exactly what I intend to do."

You lowered your head and gently pressed your lips to the head of his cock which was already covered in precum. Your tongue circled the tip, causing Lucifer to grip the sheets beneath him, not being able to focus on anything else. You relaxed your jaw, forcing your mouth down onto his shaft as far as you could manage. You didn't want to choke, after all! You absolutely adored the sounds leaving Lucifer's lips, desperate moaning and incoherent babbling. You quickened your pace, your hot mouth leaving trails of saliva down your hand. You felt Lucifer's legs begin to shake.

"L-Love," he choked out, "if you don't stop, I'm g-gonna...FUCK!" You didn't stop bobbing your head up and down. If anything, it only made you work faster. You felt his hands reach out to your shoulders, seemingly trying to push you away, but he wasn't trying very hard if that was the case. You refused to budge. "OHFUCKME," was the last thing he could mutter before his orgasm hit him, spilling his hot seed into your mouth. It was salty, but not unpleasant. You kept your mouth firmly on his cock as he rode out his high. You felt him soften in your mouth and you finally removed yourself from him with a *pop*. You caught some of his cum on your finger that had leaked from your mouth, licking it clean. Lucifer caught you doing so and buried his face in his hands.

“You’re going to kill me one of these days, darling,” he mumbled.

You chuckled, pulling his hands away to see his bright yellow eyes staring back at you. “I don’t think I have that kind of power!"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before," Lucifer sighed, "my wings are very...sensitive to say the least. I completely forgot about it until it was too late. I thought I could tough it out, but umm, that's clearly not what ended up happening. I didn't want you to think I was some maniac who couldn't control himself..."

You brought your hand up to his cheek, caressing it softly with your thumb. He closed his eyes and leaned into your touch. " You don't have to apologize to me, Luci, it's alright," you comforted. "Besides, seeing you so worked up is extremely hot!"

"Pfft!" Lucifer laughed, picking up on your attempt to lighten the mood. "Well, I'm glad you think so! I was dying the entire time in there!"

You smiled at him and got up from your kneeled position." Do you feel better now? Got it all out of your system?”

"Not quite," he breathed.

As if to take revenge from your stunt from earlier, Lucifer grabbed you by the hips and pulled you on top of him. "HEY!," you protested, but it was already too late; your cunt that's been aching for attention was now perfectly hovered over Lucifer's maniacal grin. Without warning, he pulled your legs down towards him and began to lick up your folds vigorously. His tongue attacking your clit with every lap he took. Your arms gave out almost immediately, forcing you onto your elbows to keep yourself propped up while the dirtiest moans filled the room. "Fuck...Fuck Luci, you feel s-so good...SHIT!," you cried out. His forked tongue worked at your sensitive nub relentlessly, causing the pit in your stomach to tighten. You weren't going to last much longer at this rate, he was too good and he knew it. Every time he ate you out, he always acted like a starving man who would never taste you again. It only took a few more nibbles at your clit before your walls spasmed uncontrollably, cumming hard against his tongue. He hummed in approval as he helped you ride out your orgasm, swallowing every drop of you. You managed to crawl away from him and plopped chest down on your mattress.

"You're insatiable, aren't you, Lucifer?," you teased, still trying to catch your breath.

"And you're irresistible, aren't you, my angel?" Lucifer joked back. He sat up straight against the pillows next to where your head laid. You couldn't help but notice that he was rock hard again. It filled you with pride to know just how much tasting you on his lips could illicit such a response. A thought popped into your head at that moment, your lips forming into a devious smile. You weren't going to let him have the last word. He was done for.

You pushed yourself up from your prone position and straddled Lucifer's lap, leaning down and crashing your lips into his. He moaned into your kiss, licking across your bottom lip, almost like he was begging you for access. You opened your mouth wide and felt his tongue slip past your lips, deepening your kiss. To his dismay, you pulled away from him, panting and breathless. You lined up your entrance with his cock, sinking down onto him in one quick motion. Both of you moaned at the sensation, feeling his cock twitch inside of you. Lucifer eagerly started to buck his hips into you, but you had other plans. You let the rest of your upper body weight fall onto his hips, rendering him immobile.

"Wh-what are you doing?," Lucifer whined as he tried desperately to rut up into you to no avail. "Please...please, need to move...."

You adored him in this state, begging and pleading for you to let him chase his release. "Teaching you a lesson," you grinned, shifting your hips every so slightly and making him bury his head into the crook of your neck.

"PLEASE! Please, I'll do anything!" Lucifer begged, his breathing becoming more and more labored. "Whatever you want!"

"I want you to promise me something, Luci," you cooed, placing your hand under his chin and lifting his head to meet your gaze. "Promise me that you'll come to me if you need help from now on. And in return, I'll promise you that I'll always be there whenever you need me. Do we have a deal?"

Tears welled up in his eyes at your words and the lack of stimulation. He buried his head into your chest, wrapping his arms around you. "YesyesyesIpromiseIpromiseIwill," he sobbed. You smiled and kissed the top of his head, his blond hair brushing against your face.

"That's my good boy," you praised. You decided to end his torment by lifting your hips and slamming back down on his cock at a break neck pace. His wanton moans went straight to your core, you knew another orgasm was fast approaching. He bucked his hips up into you, his cock hitting your G spot just right with every thrust.

"So close...sososoclose," Lucifer whimpered in your ear.

"L-Let go, baby," you choked out in your cock drunken state, "c-cum in me, Luci, pleasepleasePLEASE!"

Lucifer leaned down and bit into your shoulder, muffling his cries as it only took him a few more thrusts before spilling his seed into you. His bite pushed you over the edge as well, pulsating around his leaking cock. You both took a minute to come down from your highs, neither of you wanting to pull apart. At last, you pulled yourself up and out of Lucifer's lap and completely collapsed next to him. You reached over the edge of the bed and picked up the towel from earlier, handing it to Lucifer so he could clean himself up. You were about to fall asleep when you remembered something important.

"OH!," you shouted, startling Lucifer a little bit. "I almost forgot! I made you something!" You reached under your pillow where you had hid his gift from earlier. You pulled out a small duckling keychain with the words "My Little Duckling" beneath it. You passed it to Lucifer who cupped it in his hands, staring at it like it was made of diamonds.

"You...you made this...for me?," he stammered, completely enamored with his present. He clenched his fist around it and held it up to his heart. "I...I love it so much, darling! This is the best gift I've ever received! I'll cherish this forever! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" He pulled you in for the tightest hug he's ever given you while peppering small kisses all over your face. You giggled and managed to capture his lips before he could get another peck in.

"I'm really happy you like it," you smiled. "We'll figure out where you can hang it in the morning, yeah?"

"I'd love nothing more, my dear" Lucifer grinned. "But for now, let's get some sleep, shall we."

You nodded and yawned in agreement. You shifted yourself flush against Lucifer's chest, letting his arms wrap around you. You felt his tail wrap around you leg right before you lost consciousness, letting you know he would never let you go.

~~~~

IT'S FUCKING DONE BABY, LET'S GOOOOOOOO

#lucifer morningstar #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin lucifer #lucifer x reader #hazbin spoilers #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel smut #lucifer smut #lucifer morningstar x reader #my writing #lucifer's silly faces make a return!

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novemberheart · 2 months ago

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{overview} Just because your pack is back together doesn’t mean things are back to normal

{warnings} fem reader, a/b/o dynamics, poly141, cursing, mentions of being scared, smoking, short chapter

Chapter 30 <- Chapter 31 -> Chapter 32

“Hi, Ms. Garrick,” you greeted. You heard her chuckle on the other end of the phone.

“Well hello, lovely,” she greeted back. You smiled at the similarities between their pet names for you. She had gotten your number from John after Kyles accident. She called you leaving the kindest message in your inbox.

Hello, Sweetheart. Now you don't know me, but my name is Rosalind Garrick, Kyle’s mother. But don't think that just because you don't know me, I know nothing about you. You’re all Kyle talks about anymore and I’m just so happy he's finally able to get some peace amongst his chaos. I know how hard this all must be for you so if you ever need anyone to talk to please reach out to me. As far as I'm concerned you’re a part of our pack and we want to make sure you are taken care of.

Alright, sweetheart. Talk to you soon.

Since then you've called her every few days, mostly to give her updates about Kyle.

“How’s our beta doing?” she asked.

“He’s been doing good. Started to get up and walk with crutches. He's stubborn and restless,” you grumbled. As if on cue, the beta trudged out of his room, heading towards the kitchen.

“That’s the man I know,” she chuckled.

“Hey, mum,” Kyle greeted from the kitchen. You bounded over, hoisting yourself up onto the counter.

“The next time you all go on leave I want you to come home,” She pressed. You grinned wickedly, agreeing before the words had even reached Kyle’s ears. “I’ve only met Johnny. Now it’s a crime I haven't met your alphas yet, and I'm not going to let you get away with me not meeting your omega. In-person,” she added.

“Sounds right to me,” you agreed. That's why she loved you.

“You’ll love the city. Did Kyle tell you about all the museums? I know you love those.”

Kyle did tell her about you.

“We can work that out,” Kyle agreed. He did want to go home, and he desperately wanted to share that part of himself with you. You and Ms. Garrick both squealed excitedly.

“Can I talk to you about something?” you asked. He stiffened immediately, his mind jumping to the worst.

Had he hurt you again?

Your hands smoothed over his shoulder, your bottom resting against his knee. His relax was instantaneous. He leaned forward, his forehead resting against yours.

“I was wondering if I could get a job?” you said slowly. It wasn't slow enough with the way the wheels in his mind were turning.

“Why? Something you need? It’s my job”-

“No, nothing like that. It’s more social than anything.” you interjected. “I’ll be with Anais and Jane. It’s at a new bakery a little off base. It's just a few hours on Fridays and the weekend,” you explained.

He wanted to shut it down. You were social enough. Before Kyle was hurt you had activities nearly every day. Sometimes it felt like you did more in a day than they did.

Yet the look in your eyes halted him. You had forgiven him- he could feel it. The last thing he wanted to do was disappoint you after just making up.

“Alright,” he agreed. You gasped softly, a wide grin spreading over your face. It made him happy despite the feeling of something wrong clawing at him.

“Thank you!” you cheered, your lips colliding with his cheek.

“One of us will take you to work the first week. Then you girls can commute together. And you are never to go off on your own, you understand?” he urged. You hummed against his cheek. “And I need to meet your boss- and anyone else who’s working there,” he added, between your attacks.

You were just about to head to your room, when a strong arm wrapped around your middle. You recognized a familiar tattoo.

“Tavy,” you giggled. He said nothing, heading to his room.

“Seems like you've forgotten it’s my night, bonbon,” he teased, tossing you on his bed. He crawled over you, making you flush.

“I could never forget,” you lied, blinking up at him. He smirked down at you, completely still for a moment before pressing rapid-fire kisses against your cheek.

You squealed as his hands tickled up and down your sides.

“Mac, no!” you gasped out. “I was just getting tired,” you whined against him. He paused, his smirk pressing against yours.

“Alright, peaches,” he agreed. He wrapped an arm tightly around you, purring softly as you buried your face in his chest. Cinnamon mixed with some of your vanilla lotion he had stolen.

“Simon comes home tomorrow,” you sighed happily. Johnny hummed, a pleased rumble leaving his throat. “I thought you and John would be gone longer,” you yawned.

“So did we,” he yawned back. He said nothing more on the topic, yet you didn't expect him to.

When you woke up you were no longer trapped between him and the bed, but him and another body. Leather with an undertone of black licorice. There was more smoke in his scent than you were used to. He must have been smoking a lot. A purr vibrated through you, making his chestnut eyes flutter open.

“What’re you purring about?” Simon groaned, pushing the two of you closer to Johnny. He was playing dumb. You could feel the curl of his lips against the back of your head.

“You’re back,” you said weakly, your throat hoarse with sleep.

“I’m back,” he affirmed. His hand found your stomach rubbing small circles in an attempt to lull you back to sleep. He wasn't ready to get up yet. He had just gotten home an hour ago and the last thing he wanted to do was pull himself away from the warmth of this bed. “Go back to sleep, pup,” he urged. You didn't need much more convincing, your eyes practically sewing themselves shut.

“Welcome home,” Johnny grumbled, with half-lidded eyes.

“Thanks, pup,” Simon mumbled, his fingers digging into the Scots side, pulling all of you closer once more. That wasn't usual for Simon, needing to have his pack this close, especially after a mission. Something must’ve happened.

“You alright?” Johnny drawled, unburying his face from your neck. Simon hummed in assurance.

“Fine, mutt,” he soothed. “Get some sleep,” he pressed, his fingers racking up and down Johnny’s lower back.

The next time Simon woke he had a fever. It was hot enough to make you and Johnny wake up in a sweat. Johnny quickly grabbed you, plopping you on the couch next to Kyle- assuming you may have triggered a rut for Simon like you had for John.

“What’s happening?” John groaned, uncurling himself from Kyle on the couch.

“Fever,” you responded. Kyle's hand pressed against your forehead. “Simon,” you clarified, moving to stand so you could peek into Johnny’s room. “I don't think it’s a rut Johnny,” you mumbled.

“I’m fine,” Simon groaned. He peeled off his sweatshirt, flopping back down against the mattress. His wide chest rose and fell irregularly. You approached your hand resting on his stomach. His body seemed to relax slightly, and you decided to take the chance and curl up against him. His heartbeat was fast- too fast.

“I’m calling a doctor,” John pressed, gently maneuvering Kyle off of him. Simon flipped the two of you over, making you gasp. Johnny flung forward his hand gripping the alpha’s shoulder.

“Not gonna do anything, pup,” he mumbled, his heart squeezing at the sound that escaped you. “Need to feel ya,” he mumbled, just low enough for you to hear. His hand crept under your shirt resting against the soft skin of your back.

He couldn't explain it. It started two weeks ago, a light burning sensation under his skin, and an almost sour feeling in his mouth. It felt like he was going through withdrawals. He was shaky, his heart skipping beats. He went through two packs of cigarettes in a day and still no relief. Wasn't till he met you at the hospital after Kyle’s accident did he start to put it together. Yet it only got worse being around you.

He growled against your neck, clenching his jaw so hard his teeth creaked.

“Doctor’ll be here in fifteen,” John spoke, his shoulder taking up the doorway. “How long have you felt this way?” John pressed.

“Couple weeks,” he growled. A pang shot through his skull, he steadied himself over you, taking a deep breath. It only made it worse, yet he couldn't pull himself away. Johnny leaned against the desk causing it to creak, the sound sending Simon on high alert. You whined at the snarl that left him. “Sorry,” he apologized instantly.

“Sweetheart, how about we wait on the couch till the doctor gets here?” John offered, beginning to move towards the two of you. He didn't like the way Simon was acting. The sound that came out of Simon was deadly, making it known he disagreed with Johns suggestion. John released a sound of his own.

You were scared.

It didn't help when Simon's hand reached behind him, grabbing at John's shirt.

“What the hell?” Johnny growled. Johnny sprung into action, his arms reaching under Simons pulling him to the floor.

“Get out!” John commanded. You didn't need to be told twice, throwing yourself off the bed, curling up behind Kyle. Kyle held you with both arms, not caring about the uncomfortable stretch of his shoulder.

“Up we go,” Kyle pressed, grabbing his crutch and leading you into your room. He locked the door behind the both of you, cradling you against him as you shook.

You could hear them.

Cursing. The sound of someone being slammed against the wall. Growling. Shouting. Things breaking.

The smell of angry alpha began to seep under the door.

“Kyle,” you whimpered. He shushed you softly, his lips pressed against your hairline.

It suddenly went quiet.

Hi friends! See you in three days for chapter 32! 🧡🙌🏻

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pnutbutter-n-j-elyy · 2 months ago

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They Accidentally Bring Up an Insecurity| Chan

Gah finally trying to finish this set of fics!!

Bangchan x Gn!Reader

(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx)

The studio was a second home by now. The soft hum of equipment, the flickering lights of the soundboard, and the distant rumble of music playing through Chan’s headphones. You had been here countless times before, but tonight felt different- heavier. Chan’s sighs, the way his fingers tapped nervously on the keyboard, all of it told you that something was off.

You watched him from the couch, phone forgotten in your hands. He hadn’t said much since you arrived, and his silence was unsettling. You could imagine the look he had on his face. His brows furrowed, his lips pouting but also somehow in a straight line at the same time and also pursed.

Finally, after what felt like hours of him brooding in front of the screen, hands hovering without touching a single key, you spoke up. “Chris, is everything okay?”

He didn’t turn to look at you right away. His fingers twitched above the keyboard, hands still hovering just above the keys as if he was debating whether to say anything at all. A long sigh escaped him before he slumped back in his chair, his eyes staring blankly at the monitor. “I don’t know,” he mumbled. “Just…feels like I’m not doing enough.”

The words hit you harder than they should have, but you kept your face neutral. You had heard Chan talk like this before, the weight of responsibility pressing down on him like a constant storm cloud. But tonight, it felt more personal, like his doubts were cutting into something deeper.

“You always work so hard, though,” you said softly, trying to find the right words to ease his worries. “Everyone sees it. The members, the fans, everyone.”

Chan let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head as he swiveled his chair to you. “That’s the thing. I don’t think I’m enough. I feel like I’m always faking it, just doing what I can to stay afloat. One day, people are going to see right through me. They're going to be disappointed.”

You frowned, your heart aching at how harsh he was being on himself. “That’s not true. You do more than enough. You-” But your words faltered as something shifted inside you, a familiar knot tightening in your chest. "You won't disappoint anyone Chris. You haven't and you won't."

Chan’s self-criticism, the way he doubted his worth, resonated too closely with the insecurities you kept buried. If someone like him-talented, hardworking, and loved by so many- could feel this way, then what did that say about you?

If Chan didn’t feel like he was enough, how could you ever feel like you were doing enough to support him?

You swallowed hard, trying to push the thought away. This was about Chan, not you. He needed reassurance right now. But the insecurity had already latched on, creeping into the back of your mind.

“I’m serious, Chan,” you continued, trying to keep your voice steady. “You’re amazing, and you’re doing more than anyone could ever ask of you.”

He sighed again, rubbing a hand over his face. “I wish I could believe that.”

You wanted to say more, to keep comforting him like you always did, but doubt tugged at you, making your chest feel tight. Maybe your words weren’t enough. Maybe you weren’t doing enough to show him how much you cared.

Chan stood abruptly, pulling off his headphones. “I need a break. Let’s get out of here.”

You blinked, surprised by the sudden shift, but nodded. “Yeah, sure. Where do you want to go?”

He shrugged, grabbing his jacket. “Anywhere but here.”

You stood and followed him out of the studio, but the knot in your stomach only tightened as you walked side by side through the darkened halls.

His doubts had stirred something in you, and now, you couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe you weren’t showing your love well enough. Maybe that was why he felt like this- like he wasn’t enough.

The night air was cool as you walked together, the city buzzing quietly around you. Chan hadn’t said much since you left the studio, and you didn’t push him. Sometimes, he needed space to sort through his thoughts, and you respected that.

But the silence only made your mind race.

You ended up at a small diner a few blocks away. It was nearly empty, the late hour ensuring you’d have some privacy. The bell above the door jingled as you entered, and Chan slid into a booth, his shoulders still tense, his eyes distant.

You sat across from him, fiddling with the edge of the menu but not really reading it. The weight of unspoken words hung between you both, heavier than ever. You swallowed the knot stuck in your throat.

“I don’t get it,” Chan muttered after a long pause, breaking the silence. He was staring at the table now, his fingers tracing absent patterns on the surface. “I should be happy. I should feel grateful for everything I have, but I just… don’t, sometimes. I feel like I don't deserve any of this.”

Your heart clenched at his words, the knot in your stomach tightening painfully. The doubt in his voice mirrored the doubt that had been growing in you since the studio. You bit your lip, trying to find something- anything -to say that would make him see his worth.

But then his next words hit you like a punch to the gut.

“Maybe I don’t deserve the love people give me,” he said quietly, almost to himself. “Maybe I’m not doing enough to earn it.”

Your breath caught in your throat, and suddenly, everything he’d said before fell into place. His doubts weren’t just about his work- they were about him. And the worst part was, those same doubts had already crept into your own heart.

Was that why he didn’t feel loved? Because you weren’t showing him enough?

You stayed silent for a moment too long, lost in your thoughts, and Chan looked up, frowning slightly. “You okay?” he asked, his tone softer now, more concerned.

You forced a smile, but it didn’t reach your eyes. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you lied, quickly glancing down at the menu. “Just…thinking.”

Chan studied you for a moment, his gaze lingering on your face, but thankfully, he didn’t push. He sighed, leaning back against the booth, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m just tired, I guess.”

You nodded, though the heaviness in your chest made it hard to focus on his words. The conversation from earlier kept replaying in your mind, each sentence twisting the knife of insecurity a little deeper.

The waitress came by to take your orders, and you mumbled something about getting fries and a drink. Chan ordered without much thought, clearly still lost in his own world.

As you waited for the food, you found yourself staring out the window, watching cars pass by on the quiet street. Your thoughts were louder than the hum of the diner, the doubts louder than anything Chan could say to reassure you.

Maybe you weren’t enough. Maybe you hadn’t been showing him enough love, enough care, enough support. If Chan—someone who was adored by millions -felt like he didn’t deserve love, then what did that mean for you? What if you were part of the problem?

Chan was rambling on about something, but you barely registered his words. His voice faded into the background as your mind spiraled. How many times had you thought you were doing enough? How many times had you comforted him, thinking your words were making a difference? And yet, here he was, doubting everything, including whether he deserved to be loved.

You must have spaced out because suddenly, Chan was waving his hand in front of your face. “Hey, baby, everything good? You’re really out of it tonight.”

You blinked, forcing yourself to focus. “Sorry,” you mumbled. “I’m just…tired, I guess.”

Chan frowned, his eyes narrowing slightly. “You sure, love? You’ve been kind of quiet since the studio.”

You nodded quickly, trying to push away the insecurity gnawing at you. This wasn’t about you- it was about him. You needed to be strong, to be the one who could lift him up.

But before you could say anything, Chan leaned forward, his expression softening as he grabbed your hands. “You know you can talk to me, right?”

You swallowed hard, feeling the weight of your emotions pressing down on you, but you forced yourself to smile. “Yeah, I know. I’m just…processing.”

He didn’t seem convinced, but he let it go, turning his attention back to the table. The food arrived shortly after, and the conversation turned light again, though there was an undercurrent of something unspoken between you.

Hours had passed since you both left the studio. Chan’s apartment was usually a safe space, where the weight of the outside world faded into the background, but tonight, the air was thick with unspoken tension. You were both physically exhausted, but it felt like there was more lingering beneath the surface.

Chan sat beside you on the couch, his arm draped around your shoulders, fingers idly playing with the fabric of your shirt. The TV flickered in the dimly lit room, but neither of you was paying attention to whatever show was playing in the background. Your thoughts were miles away, circling back to the conversation in the studio and the strange, uncomfortable tightness that had settled in your chest since.

You had been silent for too long. Normally, the quiet between you and Chan was comforting, but tonight it felt suffocating. He had been distracted, the way his fingers twitched against your shoulder, but you could feel his concern. You could tell he was debating whether or not to ask you once more what was up. He knew something was off with you, even if he hadn’t yet figured it out.

But you couldn’t keep it in any longer. Your unshed tears burning your eyes like acid.

“Do you think I’m doing enough to show you that I love you?”

The question came out before you could stop yourself, your voice soft but weighed down by the emotions you’d been pushing down all night.

You felt Chan stiffen beside you, his arm freezing mid-motion as the weight of your words sank in. Slowly, he turned his head to look at you, brows furrowing as confusion flickered across his face.

“What?” His voice was quiet his thick accent laced with surprise, as if the thought had never even crossed his mind.

You bit your lip, heart racing, unsure if you should continue. But the knot in your chest was too tight now, too heavy to ignore.

“It’s just… earlier, in the studio, you said you don’t feel like you deserve love,” you began, your voice barely above a whisper. “And I started thinking… what if I’m not showing you enough? What if I’m not loving you the way you need me to?” You swallowed.

Chan blinked, his mouth opening slightly as if to say something, but no words came out at first. He stared at you for a long moment, his eyes wide with shock and something else- something softer, more worried. His arm tightened around you instinctively, pulling you closer, as though trying to shield you from your own thoughts.

“Where is this coming from?” he finally asked, his voice gentle but filled with concern. “Why would you even think that?”

You lowered your gaze, unable to meet his eyes. “Because you feel like you’re not enough,” you admitted quietly. “And if someone like you-who works so hard, who gives so much- feels that way, then maybe I’m not doing enough to help you see how much you mean to me. Maybe that’s why you feel like you don’t deserve love.”

For a moment, the room was silent except for the soft hum of the TV in the background. Chan’s expression shifted from confusion to realization, the weight of your words settling over him like a heavy blanket. He shifted his body to face you fully now, one hand reaching out to gently cup your cheek, forcing you to meet his gaze.

“That’s not-” He stopped himself, his brows knitting together as if he was searching for the right words, his thumb brushing over your cheek in a soothing motion. “That’s not why I feel that way. It’s not because of you. Please don’t ever think that.”

You swallowed, your chest tightening even more. “But Chan, if you’re still doubting yourself, if you still feel like you’re not enough, then how can I not wonder if it’s something I’m not doing? If it’s something I’m not saying?” You pressed your palm to your eye as to not let the tears fall.

His thumb stilled against your skin, and for a moment, Chan just stared at you, a deep frown pulling at his lips. He looked pained, like the idea of you doubting your love for him was something he couldn’t quite comprehend nor deal with.“ No, no…” he whispered, his voice cracking slightly. “It’s not like that. Not at all baby. Not at all.”

“Then why?” you asked, your voice trembling with the weight of the question. “Why do you feel like you don’t deserve love? I love you...”

Chan exhaled deeply, his hand slipping from your cheek to rest in his lap, his eyes dropping as he wrestled with his thoughts. For the first time since the conversation began, he looked vulnerable- completely stripped of the confident persona he so often carried around you. “I don’t know,” he muttered, his voice barely audible. “I’ve felt like this for a long time. Even before you.”

He paused, glancing up at you briefly before looking away again, as if it hurt him to admit this. “Sometimes it feels like no matter how hard I work, no matter how much I give, it’s never enough. I think it’s more about me being stuck in my own head. It’s not about you. You’ve been more than enough for me. You've eased a lot of my insecurities love. I promise. I swear.”

“But how can you say that when you still feel like this?” you asked, your voice rising with frustration. You hadn’t meant to sound upset, but the insecurity you had been burying for hours was clawing its way to the surface, pushing you to confront the painful thoughts you hadn’t wanted to voice. “How can I believe that when you still doubt your worth?” Your lips were trembling.

Chan’s eyes widened slightly at the intensity of your words, but he didn’t flinch away. Instead, he sat up straighter, leaning closer to you, his expression softening in a way that made your heart ache.

“You’ve always shown me love,” he said quietly, his eyes locking with yours. “More than I ever thought I’d deserve.”

His words made your chest tighten in an entirely different way now, a mixture of relief and lingering doubt swirling in your heart.

“But I don’t know if I’m doing enough,” you admitted, your voice barely a whisper. “I don’t know if I’m showing you the love you need. Why can't I fix your doubts...” You looked at him sadly. "Why can't my love fix that?"

Chan’s gaze softened further, and he reached for your hand, his fingers lacing with yours. “You don’t need to worry about that,” he said, his voice low but firm. “You show me love every day, in more ways than you realize. The little things, like how you’re always there for me, how you listen when I’m having a hard time, how you never let me feel like I’m alone.”

You blinked, feeling the sting of tears behind your eyes as his words washed over you.

Chan squeezed your hand gently, his eyes filled with sincerity. “You don’t have to fix everything for me,” he said softly. “Just being here with me, just caring- that’s enough. More than enough.”

You looked down at your joined hands, the warmth of his touch grounding you in a way that made it hard to hold onto the doubt. “But what if it’s not?” you asked, your voice trembling. “What if you still feel like this tomorrow? Or the next day? What if I can never make it better?”

Chan’s expression softened even more, and he reached up with his free hand to gently lift your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. “I don’t expect you to make everything better,” he said quietly. “You’re not responsible for fixing me, and I don’t want you to think that. I’m working on it, I promise. And one day I won't think about those things anymore. But you-” He paused, his thumb brushing over your cheek once more. “You’re more than enough. You’ve always been.”

His words hung in the air between you, and for the first time that night, the knot in your chest began to loosen, the weight of your insecurities lifting slightly. You could still feel them there, lingering at the edges of your thoughts, but Chan’s presence- his warmth, his reassurance -made them feel more manageable. Less suffocating.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, feeling a tear slip down your cheek. “I didn’t mean to doubt you…or myself.”

Chan pulled you into his arms then, wrapping you up in his warmth, his chin resting gently on top of your head. “You don’t need to apologize,” he murmured against your hair. “I’m sorry that I made you feel like that, baby. I never want you to think you’re not enough for me. You’ve given me more than I could ever ask for.”

You closed your eyes, letting the comfort of his embrace wash over you. His heartbeat was steady against your ear, grounding you in the moment, reminding you that you were here, together. That you didn’t have to carry the weight of your insecurities alone.

The doubts might still be there, but with Chan by your side, they didn’t seem so overwhelming anymore.

“Thank you,” you whispered, your voice muffled against his chest.

Chan pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment. “I love you,” he whispered back, his voice filled with quiet sincerity.

And for the first time that night, those doubts were finally quiet.

(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx)

@abovenyx @wolfs-archive @oddracha

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@leezanetheofficial @tr-mha-fan @bubbly-moon

@night-storm7 @missmajdastark

#skz imagines #stray kids reactions #skz x reader #skz reactions #skz stay #skz angst #christopher bang #stray kids #skz fluff #skz

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hedwig221b · 2 months ago

Note

Do you by chance have BAMF Stiles recs? I'm reading your stories and all you rec so thank you for being awesome!!

Thank you so much! One wouldn't know by looking at my fics, but I absolutely adore BAMF!Stiles lol. He's a delight!

Daybreak by TheObsidianQuill

"There . . ." Stiles swallowed and looked down at the bottle in his grasp as he slowly swirled the amber liquid inside. "There's really nothing left. For me. Everyone is . . . gone, and it feels like I haven't thought of tomorrow in years." His words rang in the air like a gunshot, he took another heavy drink. "I would trade every last breath I take to just have another shot—not even a guarantee, just a chance to make things right and bring back even one of them."

The pack was gone. He had nothing left. He had no one. With nothing to lose, Stiles puts everything on the line to go back in time to try to prevent the future from becoming his past. Broken, guarded, and haunted by his past, only one overgrown-pup of a wolf seems able to get past his defenses. Changing the future? Easy. Finding a place for himself in the Hale Pack? Impossible.

The Roads Not Followed by SylvieW

Scott decides to leave Beacon HIlls with Allison and her father. Stiles is left alone to deal with the supernatural troubles of his home town, so he turns to Derek.

Years later, Scott’s new pack is threatened, and the only ones who can help them are the Hale pack and Derek’s powerful mate.

Not Your Disney Romance by Wrennefer

After a long-forgotten agreement of an arranged marriage between Derek and the daughter of another pack's alpha resurfaces, Stiles takes it upon himself to become the most amazing fake fiancé that a clueless, desperate alpha werewolf could wish for.

This is Ridiculous by zosofi

There's a unicorn in Beacon Hills. A fricken' unicorn. In fricken' Beacon Hills, California. And it turns out that unicorns aren't drawn towards virgins in a happy-go-lucky let-me-lay-my-not-at-all-metaphorical-horn-in-your-lap way. No. They kill them. And guess who's the only virgin idiotic enough to get sucked into the Beacon Hills supernatural scene? Stiles, that's who.

A Tangled Refuge by wanderingeyre

The Hale House has been rebuilt for the past five years and for all five of those years, it’s been a sanctuary for supernaturals that needed a place to stay, a halfway point, a place to recuperate, or a place to be safe from whatever was on their tail. Word traveled quickly in the small world of the supernatural and now they rarely had to seek out people who needed help. Most came to them.

What Fresh Twilight Bullshit Is This? by isthatbloodonhisshirt

“I am not Bella!” he insisted, shaking his fist angrily at Jackson, as if he’d been the one to suggest he was. “I am not Bella! I am, like, a Jacob, at least!”

Lydia made a noise of debate from his right and he whipped around to look at her.

“What?! What was that sound?!”

“You’re more of a Mike,” she insisted, shrugging neatly and flipping some curls over her shoulder.

“Wha—” Stiles had never been so offended in his life! “I am not! No way! I am a solid Jacob!”

“Mike,” she argued.

“Who’s Mike?” Scott asked.

“Shut up, Scott!” Stiles insisted, pointing a finger at him but still glaring at Lydia.

Came For The Spark, Stayed For The Flame

Derek felt the panic build up in his chest as Jezebel held out a hand. He smelled it before he saw it, because who could forget the scent of what destroyed your life? Fire and spark and smoke curled from Jezebel's hands, and the wood stacked at Stiles' feet flared up.

When Stiles and Derek get bonded as Emissary-and-Alpha, hidden attractions become a lot harder to hide, secrets are kept and secrets are surfaced, and an evil teenage girl is planning even more ritualistic sacrifice. Canon divergence from the end of 3a.

Dangerous by jjmash

There are a lot of things that the pack doesn’t know about Stiles.

Some of it is little things he simply has no reason to mention, like how he almost failed organic chemistry his first semester at Stanford. Some of it is bigger stuff that he just can’t bring himself to think about, like the nightmares that still plague most of his nights and trap him inside his own mind in increasingly horrific ways.

But most importantly, the pack doesn’t know all the ways in which Stiles has transformed during his time away from them. He doesn’t need fangs and claws to be dangerous.

The Person You'd Take a Bullet For (is Behind The Trigger) by SadieHerondale

The road to hell is paved with good intentions, but until he gets Derek back, Stiles' actions are going to be worse than bad. And he will get Derek back, come hell or high water.

Something More Than Human by gatergirl79

Stiles Stilinski has a secret, a huge secret. A secret that will change the way everyone sees him. No, he hasn't been bitten by a werewolf. Stiles Stilinski is the product of a government experiment to create the perfect soldier, a human weapon. As a second generation transgenic, Stiles has been living a normal life with his dad in Beacon Hills, playing the role of klutzy sidekick to his werewolf best friend. All that changes however when Derek saves his life, Stiles finds himself slowly embracing who he really is. - But at what cost?

Red Witch by rootbeer

The red hair of a banshee. The red eyes of an alpha. The red hoodie of a mage. The red of fire burning.

Derek Hale has been a prisoner to the hunters since they burned his family alive. But now someone has come to save him: skinny, defenseless Stiles--147 lbs of skin and fragile bones. Turns out, sarcasm isn't his only weapon.

Oh my (let me look at those eyes) by Gorgeousgreymatter

A few months ago, he might’ve been able to solve this with some force—a little man-handling, a snarl, a glimpse of teeth. But he looks at Stiles’s broken face, knows he’s seen too much horror and blood and evil, the whole Big Bad Wolf routine is just going to fall flat. Because Derek looks at Stiles and he doesn’t carry himself like a teenager anymore. He carries himself like a soldier.

#sterek #sterek fic #stiles x derek #eternal sterek #sterek fanfic #stiles stilinski #derek hale #derek x stiles #sterek fanfiction #sterek fic rec #teen wolf #teen wolf fic #teen wolf fanfiction #teen wolf fic rec #teen wolf fanfic #teen wolf sterek #hedwig221b replies #anon asks

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natailiatulls07 · 5 months ago

Note

your charles x sister! reader fics are so cute! i love them so so so so so so much!! i was wondering if you could write one where charles and his teen! sister get in an argument (mostly his fault) and she’s ignoring him and he has to leave for a race before he can apologise and she still supports him but won’t talk to him and him making it up to her eventually pretty please! i love your work so much !!!

Charles Leclerc x Sister!reader

Summary - The request above :3

Warnings - Arguing and swearing

A/n - Thank you lovie! I feel like I haven't done Leclerc Sister fic in a long while so it's great to be back <3

Masterlist

Usually the week before a triple header, Charles likes to spend his free time around family. He feels like it gives him that chance to relax and get back into the right mindset. During this time the family would play board games, catch up on favourite tv shows and catch up on life.

Charles loves this time. With his formula one schedule and Arthur's schedule, it’s not often that the two brothers can hang out with their older brother and younger sister. They all come together to spend this time as they did before he and Arthur started karting.

However this week something was off. Everyone in the family could see how indifferent Charles was acting. It wasn’t like no one knew why, it was pretty clear why he was acting like this.

From the start of the season, Ferrari wasn’t having a good time. At least once every race, something went wrong. And Charles was getting the shorter end of the stick, he felt like he was getting totally screwed off in every possible way.

He really tried to not let it affect him but this was his career, without this he’d be nothing. So naturally this was going to crush his self-esteem, his confidence and his calmed headspace.

'Charles?' Y/n’s voice broke through the quietness of his stream, everyone watching could see how tense Charles was. The chat, which was going unnoticed by the pair, was speeding down the screen with fans welcoming the younger one of the two.

username my fav leclerc!! username Y/n I love you username hi Y/nnn username the best leclerc is here yayyy

He stayed silent, barely acknowledging Y/n. 'Charles? Maman made dinner, she told me to come get you' Everyone could see how Charles just rolled his eyes and how he grumbled when she wouldn’t leave.

There was a beat of silence, the only noise filling the room was the occasional sound coming from his game. 'Charles?' Y/n asked again, confused as to why he wasn't replying.

And then, finally he spoke up. 'God Y/n, can you not see?! I’m busy, fuck off!' It wasn’t often that Y/n saw Charles in this light; heck this was the first time his fans were seeing him in this light. It was as if he had forgotten about all of them having front row seats to his interaction with Y/n.

They could all see the annoyance on Y/n’s face, she wasn’t going to back down just because of one fuck off thrown her way. 'What’s up with you?' She snapped back, her mother raised her not to take shit from anyone - Espercially not her brothers. 'Whatever it is, don’t take it out on me cause I did fuck all to piss you off'

Even after her argument, Charles still couldn’t back down. Funnily enough they have the same mother, so this meant they were taught the same exact thing. He wasn’t going to take shit from her either. 'Do you ever consider that maybe, just maybe, that you are the problem? I come home in the middle of an exhausting season, only for you to come and annoy me just like a fucking child.' He pauses the game and turns in his seat, completely forgetting again that he’s on stream. 'Grow the fuck up.'

The chat is practically flying by now, all the comments shouting at Charles for being so rude.

username what the fuck Charles! username better than any reality tv omfg username don't be rude to my fav leclerc like thattt username this isn't Charles, what is going on???

Y/n bursts into a sarcastic laughter, only infuriating her older brother more. 'Haha you’re so fucking funny! Even you, after being the one who helped me come out of your shadow, can make me feel so shit..'

The way she spat out her words scared Charles, he knew he fucked up. Everyone watching the stream could see how his face paled and how, with a deep frown and tears clouding her eyes, Y/n walked out of the room angerily before vigorously slamming the door.

Chat could see a grimace on his face as Charles' face fell in his hands. A deep sigh could be heard through the mic and then the stream turned black. It ended - Understandable.

The days following was icy cold in the Leclerc family, everyone but Y/n had been walking on eggshells. Charles felt like shit, he knew about the shadow behind himself and how it really effected the people around him (Espercially his siblings).

He knew he had to leave for the triple header soon but the thing is he has never left on a bad foot with any of his family and espercially for a long time. His anxiety was riding high.

The evening before his flight to spain, he was sat on the sofa at his childhood home with his mother and Alexandra. 'Fuck..I messed up' Infront of him, Leo was rolling around on the carpet.

Pascale just sighed, she was silently agreeing with her son because she had seen first hand the effects of fame had on Lorenzo, Arthur and Y/n. However on the other hand, she knew that it was harder for him - She just wished he handled the argument better.

'Where is she now?' Alexandras soft voice spoke up, her hand relaxing on top of her partners.

Looking over to the clock, the older women answered. 'Her friends place, I think her friendship group are having a little party you know..' That'd explain the almost eerie silence through the house. 'She'll come around, this won't last long.' A chuckle left the older womens lips. 'Never does..'

If only she knew, Pascale would be eating her words.

The next couple of weeks were long and hard for Charles. It seemed like everything had been going incredibly wrong for the guy. Almost every race he was finishing outside of points, the days were long and every time he'd message his little sister, he wouldn't get a reply.

You see Y/n was active on social media and Charles could see this, he could see how she was continuing to attend to her usual activities. Going to her University lectures, doing her little side influencer job and hanging out with friends.

He had heard from both his older brother and his mother how they could tell how the argument effected the youngest Leclerc. Much like Charles, this space between them was hard. Yet, she'd watch the races for him and support him. That being some sort of reassurance for Charles.

Luckily for him, he had some time between the end of the triple header at Silverstone and the next race in Hungary so the evening after the race he was on a flight back to Nice.

It didn't take long for Charles and Alexandra to arrive back to Monaco, popping to his childhood home once again. Walking in they could tell that immediately that Pascale wasn't home but then again someone was home, which only meant one person was here.

Placing her bag down on the kitchen counter, Alexandra made her way over to the stairs. 'Y/n are you home?' There was several patters of footsteps above the couple as she made her way to the living room where Charles was sat anxiously waiting. His knee was continuously bouncing up and down before Alexandra's soft hand came rest just over his kneecap. 'You'll be fine..' She whispered gently.

It didn't take long for his baby sister to reveal herself, dressed in her work out gear. Y/n tried her best to hide her anxiety and hesitation, much like her brother she hated the past weeks. 'Salut..' (Hi) She breathed out.

Charles' eye lit up when he saw her, a small smile on his face. 'Hé, où est maman?' (Hey, where's mum?) It was safe to say that small talk wasn't going to be the best thing right now but they both knew it'd help.

He watched her as she moved to sit on the opposite sofa in her usual seat. 'Elle déjeune avec une amie…Marie' (She is having lunch with a friend…Marie) Both the Ferrari driver and his girlfirnd nodded slowly and understandingly.

There was a few seconds of a surprisingly comfortable silence, no one knowing what to say until Charles felt Alexandra sharply nudge him. Looking at her in shock, she quietly urged him to apologize. 'Look I'm sorry princesse..'

Almost giving herself whip lash, Y/n looked up from she was nervously checking her nails. And then there was a moment of quiet again, she didn't know what to say. Part of wanted to be cheeky and the other wanted to be sentimental. Suddenly her lips screwed into a small smirk, and Charles would be lying if it didn't scare him.

'You know it was pretty shitty what you did.' She let out a laugh and the pair followed in suit, Charles nodding knowingly. 'But you're my big brother, you're pretty shitty in general..' He was glad she was joking about, and he allowed her joke about him.

A smile had taken its shape on his face. 'Yeah I know, forgive me?' He asked, needing to satify that last bit of anxiety in him. To which he got a quick nod in return and immediately he was up, pulling her in a long over due hug.

At first it was sweet but immediately ruined when Charles heard Y/n mumble. 'Make me a dedicated instagram post and then I'll forgive you properly..' He just sighed knowingly as a laugh escaped Alexandras lips. Of course he was being blackmailed.

'Fine.' A grumble left his lips. 'You're lucky..'

1.6k

#formula one #formula one x reader #f1 x reader #f1 #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x sister #charles leclerc x sister!reader #scuderia ferrari #forza ferrari #ferrari #formula 1 #formula 1 x reader #f1 x y/n #f1 x you #formula one x y/n #alexandra saint mleux

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loggiepj · 3 months ago

Text

illicit affairs

part 1 | part 2

"Y/N?"

You quickly turned your head to the sound and saw two teenagers who looked alike behind you.

There was something familiar about the way they looked, the shades of green hues from their eyes or the way they grin from ear to ear towards you. You had nightmarish dreams about them. And then it suddenly clicked.

As if you still haven't figured it out, one of them walked forward and offered his hand for you to shake.

"Billy?" Then he pointed his thumb to the guy beside him. "And Tommy? You used to babysit us when we were eight years old?"

Forcing a nervous chuckle, you said, "Of course, Billy and Tommy. How could I forget?"

How could you ever forget?

Ten years had passed and it was as if it was only yesterday when you last saw them.

"Gosh, you're both so tall, you had outgrown me," you said, now laughing as you compared each other's heights. Although you hoped it wasn't a shaky laugh.

They both joined in laughter. "Nah, I'm taller than Billy now," Tommy added.

"By an inch," Billy protested. "And that doesn't even count."

There was a short pause as you tried to regain your calm posture. You wouldn't want the twins to know how their presence truly affected you. But you couldn't stop the rapid beating of your heart for what was about to come no matter how hard you tried.

So you placed your hand on your chest as you said, forcing a smile, "It's been so long."

"Yeah, it is," Billy confirmed. "We haven't seen you around in Westview anymore. Do you live here now?"

"In New Jersey actually," you replied. "I'm just here for work."

"Wait, you work here?"

You shouldn't have said that but you nodded. "I teach Creative writing."

"No way," Billy said excitedly, clutching Tommy's arm. "We're actually planning to enroll here for College. Mom's at the lobby right now talking to the Dean. Tommy here hasn't fully decided yet on what course to take."

Upon the mention of Wanda's name, you immediately tensed, clutching your chest a bit harder, as if you forgot how to breathe.

"That's— That's great, you guys," you stuttered a reply. "You'll both gonna love it here."

"Wait, Mom's heading this way," Tommy said as he waved at someone from a distance.

Quick as lightning, you glanced at your wristwatch and moved a step backwards. "Shoot, I'm terribly sorry but I have to be somewhere five minutes ago. It's great to see you guys though."

"Oh, it's okay Y/n," Billy said. "We'll just see you later then."

YOU MUST have run like crazy after you left like you were really in a hurry. You had joined marathons in the past couple of years yet you weren't trained to avoid someone like this as fast as you could.

Your heart was still thudding so loud in your chest upon reaching your office. Closing and locking the door, you leaned your back against it as you closed your eyes and tried to regain your own breathing.

That was a close one, you thought.

"I didn't know you jog in your suit," Kate greeted, making you jump.

You opened your eyes and saw Kate on her table. You had completely forgotten you shared the office along with three other faculty members.

Exhaling heavily, you turned around to peep through the glass door. No sign of any brunette that had haunted your dreams.

"You okay?" You jumped again when Kate suddenly touched your shoulder.

"Sorry," you answered as you looked at her.

"Why so jumpy?" Kate gave you a concerned laugh.

"I- I just. . ."

Kate stopped laughing and held your shoulders. "Okay, breathe, Y/n."

It took you almost a minute to regain your normal breathing. Then you stepped away from your bestfriend and took a seat on the side of your desk.

"I just saw Tommy and Billy," you began breathlessly.

Kate waited but when you didn't add any more words, she asked, "Who are Tommy and Billy?"

"Wanda's twins," you replied.

Her brows furrowed deeper as she thought for a while. "Wait, Wanda the milf you hooked up with in college?"

You glared at her before she quickly apologized. "Sorry, but I also have eyes, Y/n, she was definitely a milf back then. But what are they doing here?"

"She's looking up universities and colleges for her boys."

"Does she know you work here?"

"Probably, I don't know. I just told Billy and Tommy though, so they probably told her."

And when you started to hyperventilate again upon the realization, Kate stepped forward.

"Look, calm down-"

"How am I supposed to calm down?"

"Because you're already safe, Y/n."

"What?"

"She can no longer threaten you for something that happened ten years ago. Gee, she might even have saggy skin that you would no longer recognize her."

Kate was right. You had your own apartment now. Your own car. Your own stable job. Plus, you were finally having your book published. You have built your own reputation here.

And you won't ever let her destroy that. She doesn't have the upper hand right now.

"You're right," you said, smiling. "I'm no longer a helpless student."

"Right, and if any, she'd be the one who's stupid to think she can actually scare you."

Kate had a point. You shouldn't be scared as you were ten years ago. That little old you did not exist anymore.

BUT WHEN the first person you saw the next morning standing outside your office was none other than the woman herself, it would seem that all the self assurance you did last night vanished at the sight of her.

And of course, she didn't have saggy skin like an old woman do. Wanda still looked like a goddess with perfect long brown hair and the mesmerizing greenest pair of eyes you have ever seen. She looked like she hadn't aged a bit. It was unfair.

When yours and her eyes met, you completely froze, as if you haven't gotten used to look at her like that. It used to end up with you screaming at her in your nightmares, for how cruel she was for making you both love and hate her.

"Y/n," Wanda called softly. And you hated to admit her voice still sound so angelic in your ears.

"Miss Stark," you greeted back, clutching the strap of your bag tighter, as if you needed it as a weapon in case she'd attack.

"I . . . I'm not anymore." She smiled shyly as she waved her fingers sporting no rings at all. "So you can still call me Wanda."

You simply just nodded back and wondered how you completely lost your voice.

"Ummm, my twins," Wanda began, noticing the awkward tension between the two of you. "Billy and Tommy, they told me you met them yesterday and I just missed you. We're still looking where they wanna go. But I think Tommy now likes it here because of a familiar face."

You tried not to overthink it. But Wanda's smile brought you shivers.

"What's he taking?" you managed to ask.

"Either Psychology or Biology."

You nodded, now avoiding her eyes. "Well, it's in another building, right after the entrance. You might have missed it, the pathway was covered with shrubs as tall as lamp posts."

Wanda swallowed as she nodded then shook her head. "Yes, no, I mean yes, I have been there this morning. I talked to them earlier before I got here. Do you know Dr. Hill? I kind of asked her about you and my, you're famous around here, she told me where your office is," she chuckled shakily, "and here we are."

You licked your lips nervously. "Yeah, here we are."

Wanda took a small step forward, her fingers appeared to be trembling. "I actually kind of wanted to talk to you about—"

And you immediately knew what she was going to speak about.

"It's a long time, Miss Maximoff. I kind of forgot about it now," you interrupted with a forced smile.

You knew Wanda tensed upon the mention of her maiden name. She hadn't heard you use that name before ever directed at her.

She smiled back rather forcefully as she nodded. "Right, right. Regardless, I just really want to apologize. What I did was so—"

"Heartless?" you suggested coyly.

She stopped and looked at you, her green eyes piercing right at you.

You chuckled as you stepped towards your office. "Believe me, my younger self would really hate you right now. But years have gone by, let's just forgive and forget as the saying goes."

After inserting the key into the keyhole, you entered the office rather hurriedly. But a soft delicate hand grabbed your wrist, stopping you. She pulled away instantly and you cursed youself for feeling disappointed, for wanting to touch her.

"If it's not any bother, Y/n. Can we have this talk over some coffee? You know, catch up with all those years that passed. I . . . You’re having your book published and I'm really excited for you—"

"Really preoccupied right now," you butted in, forcing a frown. "Sorry-"

"Not right now." She laughed as she went on. "Me and the twins were actually staying at The Avengers hotel just right around the corner just beside this-"

"Yeah, I know where that is."

Wanda nodded. "How about tonight then?"

"Tonight," you appeared to be in thought, "I got to be somewhere." And you knew you really sounded like you were only making things up just to avoid spending time with her. You still hoped Wanda would catch that.

But she didn't.

"Okay, how about tomorrow then? Tommy will be looking forward to talk with you about this university. I'm also kind of thinking if I should rent him an apartment or apply him to the dormitory, whatever suggestion you have will be greatly appreciated."

God. You had no idea how Wanda could get so desperate.

"Okay, sure. Sure," you finally relented, wanting to just get rid of her.

This brought a genuine huge smile on Wanda's face as she reiterated what time and if she could get your number. You gave her a fake one, although it appeared only as a typo.

SOMEHOW, Wanda still figured out later that night and you received a message from an unknown number you knew was from her.

See you tomorrow :)

But you didn't go the next day, as promised.

Even the next day after that, as you replied you couldn't to her messages. At least, you were still nice to respond back.

"I HEARD some hot lady was looking for you," Kate teased the moment you entered the office one morning. It had been a week since your last encounter with Wanda.

The other faculty member, Yelena laughed. "Look, I didn't know who she was when I bumped into her. I might have hit on her but that's besides the point."

You completely ignored them as they went on laughing.

Kate added, "Okay, from now on, when you guys see Wanda, you should tell her to get lost."

You turned this time. "Nobody would do such a thing."

Kate frowned. "Don't tell me you've already gone soft for her. Do you even remember what you went through—"

"I do, unfortunately I still do, Kate. But I don't want it to appear as if she still affects me that much."

"Hate to burst your bubble Y/n, but why are you still avoiding her?" Yelena asked after a small pause, noticing you nervously taking a seat at your desk. "I mean if you want to move on from someone, you need to have closure."

Kate disagreed. "There needs to be no closure between them. Wanda doesn't deserve that. She deserves to rot in hell for what she did."

"And I wish for that too, Kate," you said. "But nothing good comes out of it, it's been ten years."

"Well, do it for yourself then," Yelena suggested.

"What?"

"Closure for yourself, not for her."

IT WAS finally nighttime when you reached your apartment. It wasn't a shady area, you had grown accustomed to it. But you were still cautious.

You knew you could afford a much safer place but it would have to do for the meantime. You were saving up for a house someday in the suburbs, far from the city, with white picket fence and small little feet running around the backyard. Although, it would require someone special to spend that life with and you had not been active on that part. The gods above wouldn't just send you an angel to love, readily available for you. Life doesn't work like that.

The guard stopped you the moment you almost hopped into the elevator of your apartment building.

"Some woman was looking for you, Miss Y/l/n," he said, straightening his eyeglasses. "I think her name starts with one, but I couldn't remember if it's one the number or something else."

You sighed, immediately knowing. Then you stepped out the elevator. "Did you tell her where I live?"

He shook his head. "No. I told her to text you and wait."

"But we have no waiting area?"

"I think she went inside that coffee shop across the street."

BUT SHE wasn't in there when you went to check. The shop was barely empty with last few customers for the day.

"Y/n," the barrista named Christine called. You were a regular in that shop, having to buy coffees every day before you go to work. "Some lady was looking for you."

She said it with a flirty smile, but you hadn't really noticed it until Kate pointed it out one time she visited your apartment and you both decided to get coffee.

"Yeah?" You were hopeful, but glancing around, not a familiar brunette could be seen.

"But she was also looking for alcohol and we don't serve them," she explained. "She probably went to Hydra's bar, I think it's still open."

You knew then to go after her, suddenly panicking as you grew worried for the older woman. You're still a human. You still care for her.

And right you were, there was a commotion inside the bar as two men appeared to be in a heated argument with Wanda on the counter.

"I already told you I'm not interested," you heard Wanda snap drunkenly, although she had no success in getting the men's hands off her.

Growing furious at them, you quickly stomped towards the counter. "Hey, Mom! You're here," you said, forcing a smile.

"Mom?" one of the men asked, making him disinterested and step back. "I didn't know you're already a mother."

You pulled Wanda from the counter as you paid the bartender. He only smiled apologetically your way.

The other man maintained his stance. "Don't worry. I could handle you being a milf."

But you shoved him away, making him lose his balance and stagger until he fell on the floor.

Anger filled you as you hurriedly made your way to the exit with Wanda in tow. She was holding unto you tight, although the way she was swaying, made you wonder if she had waited for you for a long time and had a couple more drinks.

"Mom? I like that." She giggled. "You hadn't called me that for years and outside the bedroom."

Your face flushed red as you carefully crossed the street and led her to your apartment.

"You smell so good, Y/n," she went on, her head on your neck and hand cupping your face, as she laughed heartily. Then her nose leaned in and sniffed you noisily, lips barely touching your skin bringing goosebumps. "I miss you terribly."

Quickly apologizing, you climbed off her and hurriedly went to your drawers.

You had managed to carry her into your apartment. Once you had placed her unto your bed with difficulty, her eyes opened wider as if waking up when both of your faces were merely inches away. You even staggered from her grasp, falling right down on top of her. It would seem others would see this as coupling. You panted breathlessly as your gazes met, your arms holding yourself on each side of her head while hers wrapped around your neck, bodies pressing against each other. Oh, how you miss her too.

Although very against your will, you lent some of your fresh clothes for her to wear for the night. And she looked so much beautiful with her in it as she made her way to your bed. You could feel her eyes at you on the comforter on the floor but you stayed silent, wanting her to understand how you want nothing to do with her. This was just a nice gesture, nothing more.

As you slept, you dreamed about that one night she saved you.

Now you completely don't owe her anything anymore.

#wanda angst #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen

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heartfullofleeches · 3 months ago

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[Angst]

Childhood Best Friends with a small age gap- two or three years, nothing crazy- but it means everything as they age.

It was hard for them to make friends their age when you first met. They liked things that were too "childish" for their peers - things another child who lived not to far away adored. They'd seen each other on the way to school, but they didn't interact frequently due to their difference in grade.

Until that day-

"Whoa...Cool backpack. You like that show too?"

"Thanks... I'm thinking of getting a new one though... Do you want me to ask my parents if you can have it?"

"What?! It looks fine to me... Why are you getting rid of it?"

"My friends called me a baby... I won't be able to go back to class without everyone laughing at me unless I get a better one."

"That's silly!.... It's on right now... Wanna watch it with me?"

The two were inseparable from then on- School hindered the time they had to see each other each morning, but as soon as it let out - both ran to meet with their new best friend. The elder of the pair was often mocked and teased for their choice, but they could hardly care anymore. They had someone who'd stick by their side to the very end - childish fixations and all.

Years went on and they made new friends. It happens. More obstacles began piling up throughout - chipping away at the few hours they scarcely had to begin with. Studying, Hobbies, balancing days between hanging out with other friend groups and the person who once meant the world. They tried to make things works, but nothing went to plan-

"Is it alright if Y/n comes with us tonight?"

"Y/N? Aren't they're too young to see this movie? We shouldn't be responsible if they have night terrors or something.."

"They aren't that young... Are they?"

They never thought about it before. You were so close in age as kids it never hit them that as you grew that little gap drew a bridge between you - and it was easier to let you go than finding an alternative.

"Hey, Dude! Are we still on for this weekend? I can't believe they're making a reboot after all this time!.."

"Are my messages going through? You haven't responded in a while... I saw you outside school yesterday and yelled your name, but....."

"Did I do something wrong?"

"Hey."

"You're hanging out with them today? Did you forget about my birthday?...."

"You removed me off your list of friends...We're still friends, right?"

"Let me alone. I'm sick of being your babysitter. Go find friends your own age and stay away from mine."

And that was the end of things.

College cames around and their live became relatively tame. Their thoughts drifted to that childhood friend of theirs every now and again, but between school and partying with the new friends they had made - those memories faded to the back of their mind.

An acquaintance asks them to help show some new faces around the campus. One sticks out to them amongst the crowd. It's you. What do they say to you after all these years? You don't look sad to see them. Nor angry. Intact - you look..

Relieved.

Pulling them aside at the end of the tour, you free yourself from the burden that's weighted down on you since they left you.

"I'm sorry."

"It was never my intention to hold you back. Overtime I realized I was just that annoying kid who clung onto you because I thought you were my first and only friend...When you never felt that way about me. I'm sorry for taking that away from you. If our paths cross again, I promise I won't even look at you."

After being abandoned by your best friend- the person you looked up to most, you matured well beyond your years in hopes that would make you like them again. Overtime, you gave up that goal, but others could see how you've changed.

"Isn't that.... Y/n?.."

"Oh, man- It is! You guys were glued at the hip before we became teens."

"They're..kinda cute... Do you still have their number?"

All this time apart, a feeling long forgotten resurged inside them. The need to protect you. You didn't know these people like they did. You shouldn't be going to parties with them, getting to know and befriend them. They'll only hurt you - worse than they had. They never should have said goodbye to you- They should have allowed the feelings they were so scared to have, but had always been there develop and blossom naturally until you both were adults ready to move on to that stage in your friendship.

They know you best. No matter how much you grow as a person, you're still the same.

"That's a cute Keychain, Y/n!"

"Thanks! I've loved this show since I was a kid!"

They'll prove it to you.

#yandere scenarios #yandere insert #yandere headcanons #yandere x you #yandere imagines #yandere x reader #yandere #yandere oc #yandere blurb #yandere angst #yandere drabble #yandere x y/n #yandere best friend

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maliro-t · 14 days ago

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The highlight of Veilguard for me is the relationship between Solas and Rook- and I don't know how to write about this on the internet without being acutely aware of other peoples' criticisms (such as there not being enough of it)- so I'll just say up top that I'm not actually intending this as a refutation of any of those. I just want to talk about my experience with the game and why I like it so much, which will probably make obvious where I disagree with some reoccurring critiques I've seen. *

The thing about Solas in this game is that he plays the role of the trickster perfectly. As much as Fen'Harel is a myth or a persona, and the stories we know of him invented or twisted, his role in Veilguard feels like it could slot in so, so easily with the myths, and in many ways directly parallels them. He is sinister and noble, monstrous and sympathetic, ruthless and compassionate, all at once. He spends the game trapped and humbled but can be almost gleefully condescending at times. He conflates outsmarting an enemy with being right, even as he plays the long-suffering martyr, tortured by countless mistakes. He falls easily into the role of advisor but is quick to note your foolishness. To sneer and declare the problem yours and yet still impose upon you an appraisal of your conduct.

But more than any of that, for most of the game, he's...passive. Dormant. He seems to make no moves, other than as a glorified consultant, despite starting as the main threat.

In Blood of Arlathan, when he finally rears his head again as major a player on the board, it's with a gallant offer of help. As an ally. He is exactly what you need, right when you need it, and you don't even have to ask him to be. And- because you don't have constant access to him, you maybe haven't even considered him an option!

He feels extremely intentionally sparing to me before this in service of a) making you think you're the one with power over him and b) causing you to forget he might contribute at all, so that when he finally does, it seems wholly benevolent. It comes in a moment where your goals are exactly aligned, and indisputably noble.

It's a waiting game. A classic of his, harkening back to stories we've heard time and again about Fen'harel and traps.

As Felassan tells it in the Masked Empire:

Fen'Harel was captured by the hunting goddess, Andruil. He had angered her by hunting the halla without her blessing, and she tied him to a tree and declared that he would have to serve in her bed for a year and a day to pay her back. But as she made camp that night, the dark god Anaris found them, and Anaris swore that he would kill Fen'Harel for crimes against the Forgotten Ones. Andruil and Anaris decided that they would duel for the right to claim Fen'Harel. He called out to Anaris during the fight and told him of a flaw in Andruil's armor just above the hip, and Anaris stabbed Andruil in the side, and she fell. Then Fen'Harel told Anaris that he owed the Dread Wolf for the victory and ought to get his freedom. Anaris was so affronted by Fen'Harel's audacity that he turned and shouted insults at the prisoner, and so he did not see Andruil, injured but alive, rise behind him and attack with her great bow. Anaris fell with a golden arrow in his back, badly injured, and while both gods slumbered to heal their wounds, Fen'Harel chewed through his ropes and escaped.

He goads his enemies into fighting each other for his benefit. Anaris, who had hunted him, succeeds with Fen'Harel's advice, exploiting a weakness he could only see with his aid. In turn, Anaris himself is left exposed. The victory goes to Fen'Harel, who has now dispatched two enemies at once and cleverly won his freedom.

He who was both Creator and Forgotten One. Who could walk amongst both as kin, and who in the end turned his back on them all.

Another tale:

The god Fen'Harel was asked by a village to kill a great beast. He came to the beast at dawn, and saw its strength, and knew it would slay him if he fought it. So instead, he shot an arrow up into the sky. The villagers asked Fen'Harel how he would save them, and he said to them, 'When did I say that I would save you?' And he left, and the great beast came into the village that night and killed the warriors, and the women, and the elders. It came to the children and opened its great maw, but then the arrow that Fen'Harel had loosed fell from the sky into the great beast's mouth, and killed it. The children of the village wept for their parents and elders, but still they made an offering to Fen'Harel of thanks, for he had done what the villagers had asked. He had killed the beast, with his cunning, and a slow arrow that the beast never noticed.

Felassan is everywhere in the Crossroads, in memories, in regrets, in notes that speak to a time you can barely fathom and traces of a friendship that is never once brought up by Solas directly (to my knowledge at least). I think Felassan serves a lot of purposes; he's a window into history, into Solas' mind and ideals, someone who challenges moments of ruthlessness but is loyal, an advisor who keeps Solas grounded even as he pushes him to become something larger than he is, a lingering notion of a loss that you can never really see the full scale of, and so on. And I think, too, that he's written carefully to be a meaningful presence from the rebellion without explicitly spoiling what eventually happens to him, which I wouldn't be surprised if was a legit consideration made for people who might go back and read the Masked Empire after dav lol- in the same way that Trespasser only really spoils the book if you already know what happens.

But for me, every note signed with his name is almost a tongue-in-cheek warning about what's to come. Felassan. A slow arrow, fired apparently mockingly into the sky, only to strike true when it's least expected. A solution executed with neither kindness nor explanation, serving first and foremost the interests of the one who fired it. Felassan's presence in the game ever so slightly encodes a reminder of who you're actually dealing with and what his core tenants are, whether as an ally or an adversary. You only know if you know, but it doesn't seem an accident to me that this reoccurring name of a general who shaped himself in honor of the Dread Wolf's unorthodox cleverness is so key to these traces of Fen'Harel's past, despite, again, never directly being discussed.

Anyways, to Rook. First, I gotta give a shoutout to Bryony Corrigan, whose voice I used for mine- she honestly made the game for me, especially in moments where I felt unsure of it. I love Rook, I love how they're written, and I love how they're performed. While a complete blank slate protagonist can be really fun, I find putting myself as a player in conversation with limitations given by the game really fun and interesting, and often surprising! And I do feel there's still plenty of flexibility.

My perspective on the relationship between Rook and Solas in Veilguard is specific to how I played of course, and I haven't seen other versions of their dynamic at this point to compare so I can't speak to them. But my experience was as such:

I didn't come into the game wanting to intentionally antagonize him. If he rose at me, I rose at him- and those moments of tension were really, really fun. But I tried to accept what he gave me with a fairly open mind. Skepticism, sure, but also the knowledge that ultimately, we both wanted Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain gone, and he knew them better than I did.

It was really gratifying, then, to see our rocky partnership evolve over time into what seemed like a genuine respect. But it didn't really feel straightforward to me either. For example, the conversation before Weisshaupt held a lot of weight for me: listening to him tell that chilling tale about undermining an enemy with persistent laughter and finding that 'Do whatever it takes to remove those who oppose you' was something we came out aligned on was.... There was an element of foreboding to that. Like, I had found myself actively trying to impress him here! And feeling good when it seemed like I had, but uneasy about how I had done it, even when I agreed with what I'd said.

And of course, after that comes Arlathan. Solas' big hero moment. This is the point in the game where our alliance finally felt comfortable to me. The conversation in the fade after was the first time that it really seemed like we were on even ground. And the game- not just Solas- told me here outright that I had earned his respect! After that, I didn't consider betrayal a possibility for a moment. Honestly, I barely even considered him an antagonist at all, because he had become a partner instead! I was expecting something clever down the line, but I wasn't worried about it hurting me. Our disagreements had been set aside, and the goal of his that I had initially opposed had been so thoroughly usurped I had forgotten that he was even pursuing it. And yes, that's perhaps naivety on my part, but I was so distracted by that not at all being the main plot that I forgot that it actually still was. Which is the whole point, right? He waits until your head is turned the other way to strike.

All this to say, my reaction when you kill Ghilan'nain and Solas uses the instability of the Veil to force you into his prison went beyond shock and confusion. It wasn't until well into his villain monologue that I was able to accept that he had betrayed me at all- having been thus far trying desperately to convince myself that the sequence I was seeing was Elgar'nan playing mind games in retaliation, and not actually Solas.

That prison moment is his Slow Arrow. You are Anaris to Elgar'nan's Andruil, the dagger the chink in her armor, and Ghilan'nain's death the golden arrow striking you in the back.

The wolf chews its leg off to escape the trap.

And I should say, I was coming at this all from the meta perspective of someone who loves Solas and empathizes with him and has never seen him as irredeemable or evil- and I, the player, who believed that all game and is ultimately satisfied with the resolution I got- felt hoodwinked as fuck in this moment lmao!!

There's a line in the prison that Varric has about it being easier for Solas to play the villain when he knows he's causing harm- so I do think he plays up his sinisterness here on purpose. But it's such a slap in the face coming straight off of "You have earned the respect of the Dread Wolf." A true and profound betrayal, at least for me.

And it doesn't stop there! His trickster maneuvers and half-truths aren't done until the credits roll. I love that when you meet again, he is nothing but apologies. He makes every concession- that Varric was a good man, that every victory in this fight has been yours, that he needs you and not the other way around, that he was wrong and made mistakes and betrayed people who never deserved it. And of course, we know from experience at this point that this won't stop him from doing it again anyways. But he never holds back from placing the blame on himself. Agreeing with you. Telling you you're right, and that Elgar'nan must be stopped. He only ever says things that are true. Things that are aligned with your point of view.

"[The veil] will never come down by my hand." Well, yes. Because it will fall on its own when Elgar'nan is dead. You won't hardly have to do anything at that point, Solas, will you?

It doesn't matter if Rook isn't falling for it, because if they don't accept his partnership, they lose! That's it! It's the same as it was at the start, but with the added sting of knowing it probably won't work out in your favor this time.

I remember before launch John Epler saying that Solas sees himself in Rook, which really echoes throughout the whole game for me. There are some ways you could say Solas seems opposite to Rook- and of course this can wax and wane depending on roleplaying choices, but the central conceit of Rook as Varric's recruit is that they are a specialist in being willing to act. And on the surface at least, that's kind of counter to Solas' Slow Arrow, right? Blunt force versus delayed gratification. But not entirely! Because every backstory we have for Rook revolves around a kind of heroism that is unorthodox enough to have left you ultimately punished for it. Like yeah, yeah, you saved some lives.... The optics were kinda bad though, so maybe you could go on a sabbatical for a while?

Rook is, from the start, an unconventional and unsung hero, admonished by some for ruffling feathers that they shouldn't have in pursuit of a noble goal. Not unlike Fen'Harel.

I find, too, that there's kind of a nesting doll of parallels around Rook and Solas as foils that the whole story hinges on:

We see Solas, his regrets plastered on every wall, each of them tied to Mythal. At every turn he seems to warn her that this is not the right path, but he follows her down it anyways, until he is left with nothing but an overwhelming need to fix what they have broken.

We see Felassan, who still wears Mythal's vallaslin on his face, challenging Solas' judgement and methods, but still standing by him through the rebellion, after the Veil, for however many thousands of years they slept. Ultimately, in the Masked Empire, the thing that makes him falter is his admiration for someone else's pursuit of freedom. His admiration for Briala.

"I suspect you'll hate this, but she reminds me of-"

Solas is Rook. Solas is Briala. Upstarts, flawed defenders, people who are made into leaders because of their willingness to fight for something. Who see injustice and cannot rest.

Solas is Felassan, the devoted general. One who pushes against his orders but cannot deny them. Someone who loves the cause, but more than that is dedicated to the person who champions it. A voice of reason who, in the end, turns away.

Solas is Mythal, a pragmatic leader, responsible for uncountable deaths. Someone who has relied on partners and power structures that have led her down a dark path, partners whose mistakes in their pursuit of power have become her own. Partners who in the end betray her.

Solas is trapped in his regrets because they are not all his. He struggles with having been failed and with how he has failed others, and in his mind the two become conflated. He carries these contradictory roles on his back- perpetrator and victim, betrayer and betrayed- and cannot see how to overcome them. He is ultimately freed by Mythal's absolution because the foremost factor in his crusade is not belief but guilt.

The ends have to justify the means, because there is no other way he can live with himself. And at every step, he is trying to redeem Mythal as much as he is trying to redeem himself.

He did not want a body, but she asked him to come. He wanted to give wisdom, not orders. I will always follow where you go.

He left a scar when he burned her off his face.

It was all for her. It was always for her.

Solas' duplicity is unending, but so is his devotion. And there is such an earnestness to a Rook, always betrayed, that sees and empathizes with that and uses it to free him.

* I will say that during the game I was definitely wishing you could show your hand to him a little more and press him about his memories prior to the endgame (and separate from this I have quibbles with the impact of some of those memory reveals- like wrt the delivery just not feeling as weighty as I would like. The payoff is absolutely still there in the end, it just felt to me like they were too nonchalantly getting a ton of info out that had to be established moving forward, despite these being like earthshattering reveals that people have Correctly (!!!!) theorized about for up to 15 years). That being said, in retrospect it would have lessened the impact of the finale to have pressed Solas about, for example, his relationship to Mythal prior to absolutely pulling the rug out from under him with it at the 11th hour. And additionally, it's a structural nightmare because you can uncover the memories at almost any point in the story, and you don't have constant access to Solas to chat with him about them. Which you shouldn't imo, in service to the story being told!! But it's also true that early on I found scenes with Solas super gripping, and scenes with my team often...not. And that was initially disheartening, but developed positively over time on all fronts once the game didn't have to worry about setting things up. So, I did wish for more here at first, but I've revised my opinion now that I can see the whole arc.

#ok one fucking gigantic solas post to dump some thoughts and feelings and analysis out #veilguard spoilers #it speaks #vir dirthera #long post

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