#there cant be miscommunication is i dont speak unless spoken to... right!?/hj

[zhuhongs]

A part two to that other post that didnt fit but was related.

I think ultimately my own issues and my issues with others lie in miscommunication.

When I came home from being out today, my mom asked me how was it. And I lied to her because I didnt want to hear her opinion. I know she wouldve just told me I was too mean to not like that girl and that I needed to stop hanging out with my friend that's always late. Both kinda conflicting pieces of advice bc one was to be nicer and the other to be meaner. I know I'd want to explain myself and shed just get irritated that I told her and didnt want to take her advice so I just decided to save myself the headache and not tell her anything of note. Because I dont trust her and I dont want her to know anything about me. Because even if I tell her, she wont get it. Or I've told myself that. In essence, I refuse to communicate with her so I always run here to write out my thoughts. Doing this, I'm basically just communicating with myself to try and replace the intimacy I desire with others. I mean.. ofc you all Can read it but many won't and that's okay. You dont need to. I'm just another girl complaining on the internet. You dont owe me anything.

And the reason why I think I'm mad at my friend and the acquaintance she brought along is a lack of communication. It was obvious that this person had like deep issues that she just mentioned to us with no pretenses but then tried to cover it up with 2016 tumblr humor like a 12 yr old. It just made me mad?? Like why tell me that, I cant help. I've only met you twice.!? It just felt like a pathetic muffled cry for help from a stranger rather than a sincere attempt to connect with us. She would just talk over people and say things unprompted and it drove me up a wall. Like I know that shes sad and needs help and care from ppl but like.. pls go about it a better way. I'm being patient and u deserve that but like I'm at the end of my rope walking on eggshells ant ur sad backstory omg. You are 20 fucking 2.. act like it. Like yes ik she has adhd and this is like indicative but fuck so do so many other and possibly myself and we dont do this... girl just go to a therapist. I'm trying to be helpful and I didn't say anything but it's also not my job to be ur therapist. You can't dump All ur issues on others. I HATE when people just dont show any regard for others and talk over them and say concerning things and mask it. Just say it properly if you're going to say it!!!!!! Oh my god. I was so exhausted by this girl. This is my second time.meeting her and she acted like we were besties. And also there was just some other communication issues with her and my friend. Bc she likes my friend and my friend doesnt like her back. bUT MY FRIEND keeps fake flirting with her and it's so painful like omg.. girl I dont like this person but you are being so cruel unknowingly. Omg.. if u make a "what if we kissed and were both girls" joke one more time I will throttle um she likes you. That's too cruel. Idk the entire time I was just so frustrated by the lack of good communication that I just shut up and wandered around the campus without listening to them. It was nice to be out on a college campus again. I MISS that but this was exhausting. I hate tumblr self deprecating humor and I hate miscommunication btw unrequited crushes. It's so painful. I just.. yea. I shouldnt be around a lot of ppl... like them.. or my mom but I'll try harder. Until then I will Shut up tho bc I'm not gonna make anything worse by saying smth.