#there being a debate at all is wild because like. dont you want to be nice?

[softsturn]

imagine being best friends with matt, and you guys text 24/7, and one day you decide to get risky because youve had a crush on him forever - and if he gets the hint, and thinks you wanna fuck him then he gets the hint - if he doesn’t and thinks it was a simple accident, never for him, then he thinks it was an accident and nothing is seriously ruined

so you get on your favorite mini skirt, posing infront of the mirror sitting down and **ever so slightly** opening your legs to reveal your glistening folds, snapping a pic and sending him a photo. “dont forget to match me for our lunch date!” you send an innocent text after, making sure to seem normal as you possibly could.

he immediately opened it, typing for a while but didn’t reply. you wonder if he finds it weird, and get worried and insecure, but he sends a “did you mean to send me that?” after a minute, and you smile to yourself - “of course? i want you to match me.” you reply innocently, and he hearts the message. you wonder if he did find it weird.

once you get to lunch you guys sit down next to eachother, chris and nick across the table as he sat down next to you, smiling.

the restuarunt was actually quite loud, and chris had airpods in, nick finding the bathroom as Matt turns to you, smiling. “are you wearing underwear?” he whispered, your smile fading as you widen your eyes, turning to him, “no? you dirty slut”, he began and put his hand on your thigh, glancing at you with hopeful eyes as you nod, but he shook his head. “words, baby.”

u can decide what goes on from there lel 🤺🤺🤺

miniskirt - m.s

⩩ pairing: matt x fem!reader

⩩ summary: read the request

⩩ warnings: fingering, light degradation, exhibitionism

⩩ a/n: i really hope i did this request justice!! i could probably do a part two of this, just leave ideas if thats something you’d want. also thanks so much for all the support on my last work!!!!! 🩶🫂

You and Matt have been best friends since forever, befriending him and his brothers in elementary school, and the rest was history. You were close with all three of the boys, but the bond you shared with Matt was different. The two of you were practically attached at the hip, always wanting to be near one another, and when you couldn’t be near each other, you were on your phones texting and calling each other. The two of you are each others comfort, he’s your home, your lifeline, and you’re the same for him. Navigating the very fine line between platonic feelings and something more isn’t always easy, especially not when hes as handsome as he is and you’re both so familiar with each other.

You wanted to make a move, you wanted him to know how you felt, but you didn’t want to risk ruining your friendship. The fear of losing him was debilitating, you’d rather have him as your best friend than nothing at all. However, you’ve found yourself on the floor, adorned in your favorite miniskirt, posed in front of your mirror with your legs slightly open. You weren’t wearing any panties, exposing your pretty pink cunt. You snapped a picture, mind running wild as you debate if you’re really ready to do this. Clicking Matt’s contact, your thumb hovers over the send button, you bite your lip, and nervously press it. Quickly following up with an innocent text, trying to mask the intensity of what you’ve just sent. “Don’t forget to match me for dinner tomorrow!!”

He immediately opened the text, and you feel your stomach knot as you wait for his reply. He could either get the hint, and do something about it or, he could chalk it up to being accidental, which would be slightly awkward but nothing would be seriously ruined between you two. The seconds feel like hours as you watch him type, but he doesn’t reply. You internally curse yourself, his silence triggered insecurity, fearing that you’ve just ruined your most cherished friendship. In the midst of your despair, your phone finally dings with a notification from him. “Did you mean to send me that?” he inquired. You take a deep breath, trying to craft the perfect response. Smiling to yourself as you text back feigning innocence, as if you don’t notice the risky picture. “duh? i want you to match with me.” He hearts the message, leaving you uncertain, casting doubt as you prepare for dinner.

Collecting yourself, you complete your makeup and style your hair. Opting to go without panties, you're left in the miniskirt and a crop top. As you head out, thoughts of your text exchange with Matt linger, and the anticipation of potential awkwardness looms. Arriving at the bustling and noisy restaurant, you cringe at the sensory overload. Seated at the table the triplets reserved, Chris, with his AirPods in, offers a smile before returning to his phone. Nick greets you and gives you a side hug as he heads to find a bathroom, leaving you practically alone with Matt as you take a seat beside him in the booth, Chris across from you, along with Nick's empty space.

"Hey," Matt whispers, a smile playing on his lips as he takes in your appearance. You respond with a sheepish smile, exhaling nervously as his eyes linger on the familiar skirt from the earlier picture. You swear you detect a flicker of lust in his gaze as he observes the miniskirt showcasing your thighs. A teasing smirk crosses his lips, leaning in closer, his breath caressing your ear, sending shivers down your spine. "Are you wearing underwear?" he whispers.

Your smile fades, eyes widening as if the air has been sucked from your lungs. You hadn't anticipated him bringing up the picture, especially not here and not like this. Turning slightly towards him, jaw slightly dropped, you're rendered speechless, unable to trust the words that might escape. He releases a low, breathy chuckle at your bewildered expression, checking if Chris is paying attention. His gaze returns to you, and he licks his lips. "I’ll take that as a no? Such a slut..." he taunts, his hand finding your thigh under the table, giving it a small squeeze, igniting butterflies in your stomach. Raising his eyebrows, eyes filled with anticipation as you nod to confirm your lack of panties, he shook his head as he coaxed, "Words, baby."

"No, I'm not wearing any underwear," you mumble sheepishly, biting your lip. His hand moves up painfully slow, his eyes attentively tracing every reaction to his touch, as if committing your responses to memory. This situation was beyond what you expected when you sent that picture; now, with his hand creeping up your thigh, you're uncertain how to proceed. He smiles at your sudden shyness, leaning in closer, his lips brushing over your ear. "Atta girl, you listen so well."

"Matt, we're in a restaurant," you whisper sternly, though your voice wavers. Squeezing your thighs shut, you guide his hand away with your own, shooting him a warning glare. Despite the growing desire between your legs, engaging in this here, with Chris across the table and Nick likely to return soon, feels too risky. Matt revels in the thrill, enjoying watching you squirm as you attempt to stay unfazed by his persistent touch. "Which is exactly why you're gonna be quiet for me. Can you do that, baby?" he says softly, the smug smirk on his face almost challenging you.

Your gaze shifts to Chris, engrossed in his phone with an empty spot beside him awaiting Nick's return. Returning your attention to Matt, you scan his sharp features and nod. "Yes, I'll be quiet," you agree, slowly allowing your thighs to open once more, anticipating the touch of his long, slender fingers. His eyes glint with adoration as his hand resumes its journey up your thigh, slipping tantalizingly under your miniskirt. Moving with agonizing slowness, he watches as you shudder with each upward movement. His fingertips graze over your core, and he chuckles slightly at the frustrated sigh escaping you. The anticipation is maddening, and in a less public setting, you'd have surrendered to him entirely. He swipes his index finger through your wet folds, eliciting a gasp as one of his cold rings meets your sensitive skin. "Fucking soaked," he mumbles, and you impatiently huff, growing tired of his teasing. "I'm so close to doing it myself."

He grips your chin in a possessive, and dominant manner, forcing you to meet his gaze. "One day, I'm gonna fuck that bratty little mouth of yours," he grunts, using the opportunity of no one watching to steal your lips in a kiss, swallowing the moan that escapes as two of his fingers slide into you, stretching your tight walls. Breaking the kiss once he senses you can keep quiet, or at least try, his fingers gradually start pumping into you, the restaurant's bustling atmosphere and loud music drowning out the slick, wet sounds. One of your hands clutches the booth seat, the other clinging to his knee, your lip tucked beneath your teeth as you attempt to stifle your whines and whimpers.

Suddenly, Nick returns from the bathroom, causing your eyes to widen and your face to flush. Matt halts his movements, but he keeps his fingers inside you. The thought of being caught, especially by his brothers, is paralyzing. As Nick rejoins, Chris diverts his attention from his phone, engaging in conversation about new video ideas. Matt nods along, feigning interest, and gradually resumes pumping his fingers into you. You shoot him a panicked look, to which he only smirks.

A waiter arrives with appetizers ordered by the boys before your arrival, and takes your orders. While Nick and Chris indulge in the appetizers, you find yourself indulging in a different sensation—Matt's fingers exploring you in enticing ways. Balancing the act of appearing normal becomes challenging when your best friend is treating you so intimately. Refraining from joining the conversation, you grab an appetizer, bringing it to your mouth as you attempt to eat. Matt's sees this and his fingers quicken their pace, causing a small moan to escape you. Chris raises an eyebrow, shooting a questioning glare your way, prompting Matt to ease up as Chris starts to speak. "You okay, Y/N?"

Eyes widening, you choke slightly on your food, hastily nodding at him. "Y-yeah, the appetizer is just really good," you mumble sheepishly, and Matt snickers. Chris gives you a strange look but returns to his conversation. You're tempted to hit Matt for embarrassing you, but his fingers remain deep inside you, making you completely defenseless. Your knees attempt to shut, shying from the intensifying sensation in your stomach, coupled with the fear of being discovered like this. Matt's foot nudges yours over his, bringing your leg slightly onto his lap, compelling you to spread. Leaning in to your neck, he whispers into your ear, "Can you keep quiet if I let you cum, hmm?"

You nod desperately, but Matt narrows his eyes, halting his finger movements entirely. A silent whine escapes your lips from the loss of momentum, and your eyes plead with him to continue. "Words," he mutters harshly, taunting you. You try to calm yourself, the last thing you need is to accidentally moan and give away what's happening under the table. Taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly, you manage to say, "Yes, please," in a hushed voice.

Amusement plays across Matt's face, finding it entertaining to watch you struggle to hold yourself together. He resumes his movements, slowly pumping his fingers inside you, rebuilding the knot in your stomach. "Good girl, cum all over my fingers, princess," he murmurs as he pulls back. His gaze returns to his brothers, maintaining the facade of genuine interest in their conversation, but his focus is solely on you and the desire to make you feel good. His fingers thrust mercilessly inside you, his thumb tracing circles on your swollen clit. The overwhelming sensation brings you dangerously close to the edge. With your elbow on the table, you bring your head to rest in your hand, covering your mouth to conceal the lewd moans threatening to escape. Matt curls his fingers inside, providing the extra push needed. You bite down on your hand, eyes squeezed shut, brows furrowed as you come on his fingers. A muffled moan escapes your throat, but blinded by bliss, you don't care. Nick and Chris glance over, offering worried looks.

"Y/N, are you sure you're okay?" Chris asks, confusion etched on his face. Matt's fingers gradually ease out of you, your breathing slightly heavy as you attempt to regain your senses. "Yeah... I think I'm just having a really bad migraine," you mumble, feigning discomfort as you rub your temple. Chris and Nick nod understandingly, offering sympathetic looks. Matt pats your knee thats on top of his own and smiles slightly at his brothers. "I'm gonna take her home, just box our food and bring it home with you guys later, i’ll Venmo you for an Uber," he says, ushering you out of the booth. The two boys bid you farewells, and as Matt grips your hips, pressing himself up behind you, to them it seems like he's ensuring your safe exit. In reality, he's forcing you to feel the hard bulge desperate for relief in his pants. He kisses the top of your head and the base of your neck. "We're not done," he whispers, gently guiding you out of the restaurant towards his van, leaving your mind racing with thoughts of what he has in store for you.

[dykekarkat]

hey I’ve seated myself on your couch PLEASE tell me more of your ghost andreil au it is beautiful and Oscar worthy to me

omg hi yes pls be seated im sorry this got slightly long and also took a bit!! also unsure if this even makes sense or is smth u will like but alas, i just kinda went wild. anyway thank you so much for the ask :)

i love getting a chance to talk about any and all of my aus. ghost andreil came about bcus im not a huge fan of the ghost x human relationship trope thing so i thought what if instead they were both ghosts...love beyond living is just so perfect for andreil...anyway long ramble ahead so ill put it under the cut <3

basic world building in my head is that ghosts are basically humans who are living on the Wrong Layer of the universe because they refuse to let go of their lives or have some unfinished business (normal ghost things). the supernatural isn't widely known about or believed in but there are ppl aware (like renee for instance). ghosts can touch other ghosts but not humans (duh) bcus i want andreil to fist fight and also to eventually have a physical relationship bcus it is important to me. too much interaction w physical objects depletes their energy, but the more will a ghost has the more energy they have (and by god are andreil willful little assholes).

renee and jean are both mediums! renee's been involved w the spiritual realm forever (gang related) while jean just thinks he's losing his mind slowly ^-^ renee is on a quest to help andrew move on (he hates this) but theyre still besties. meanwhile neil is desperately trying to prove that no he's not a hallucination (lol) and no jean should Not kill himself to join him. tbh idk if i want the moriyamas to be in the know or not, heavily debating over whether neil should be able to escape them through death or if he's forever cursed to be in debt to the mafia (depending on how angsty i want this to get).

NOW ON TO THE RELATIONSHIPS AKA THE FUN PART

- aaron is NOT having a good time in the beginning of this au. actively going through hell after losing a brother he just found and his mother. he's getting high most of the time, barely going to school, fully given up on himself, and Super Fucking Angry at Andrew. To Be Clear andrew didn't commit suicide but his normal canon i dont care about what happens to me attitude led to him dying while killing tilda. aaron DOES NOT KNOW that andrew killed her on purpose, but he's suspicious and angry as fuck anyway because andrew broke the deal (of staying together for high school). nicky still takes aaron in but nicky hadnt met andrew before his death so the tragedy for him is that andrew never rlly got a chance. andrew himself doesnt mind being dead (in his opinion its the same monotonous apathetic existence as he had living. which changes once he meets neil) but he's Pissed bcus he thinks aaron is throwing away his life. which in Andrew's opinion he did the hard part by getting rid of tilda (the problem). so andrew takes to haunting him by hiding his drugs and being a general nuisance to try and get him to school. i have not quite figured out how to get aaron to kick the drugs and get on palmetto w/o andrew ngl ^-^

- neil dies at the same time kevin broke his hand. riko snapped and neil pushed his buttons and refused to agree that riko was the best, so riko basically beats him to death and kevin gets his hand broken trying to stop it. a very tragic skiing accident indeed :(. kevin feels Extremely guilty over neil's death and jean practically forces him out of the nest, jean himself is basically resigned to joining his partner in death (smth neil is Not About). at this point andrew's been dead for two years? ish? and aaron is on the foxes as a freshman. neil splits his death time between trying to make things easier for jean and keep him from dying, and thwart kevin's attempts to go back to the nest in increasingly comical ways. meanwhile andrew is pissed about kevin bringing danger to aaron, so andreil are Fighting, i mean full on ghost fights where shit is levitating and lights are flickering and ppl are screaming because andrew wants kevon gone. eventually they do that line drawn across the center of the room to try and stay civil.

- eventually kevaaron start bonding and processing their grief over the loss of their brothers and fall in love at the same time, while andreil are also falling in love through asshole ghost mating rituals. major plot point would be renee using her séance powers to make kevaaron aware of their ghost protectors and a lot of drama unfolds from there (andrew reveals the murder stuff, aaron gets more pissed he died, aaron wants to banish him exorcise him in anger etc etc). the catalyst to andreils romantic relationship occurs bcus riko brings drake into the picture to hurt aaron(similar to canon), and neil basically almost ghost kills himself stopping him (expends too much energy in a short period of time) --> their relationship still doesnt start until a few months after this but it is the turning point for andrew being able to trust neil.

other small things:

lola is a contracted demon to nathan (unsure if moriyamas are aware).

nathan kills riko for killing neil (its a pride thing) and basically starts a war within the moriyamas. that neil Really does not know how to feel about, still terrified his father will be able to hurt him due to his knowledge of the occult (which may or may not be reasonable)

mary died trying to escape w neil so he went to the nest at 10 as planned. when he died and realized he was a ghost he looked for her immediately but she had moved on. it was probably more crushing to see that she could've stayed and watched over him and didnt than to witness her actual death.

tilda and mary moved on immediately after death (does heaven exist in this world??? hell?? dont ask me idk either)

pre andreil reveal nicky starts a channel to document their haunted college dorm. its one of the first things andreil bond over bcus they love starting shit nicky is so reactive. post andreil reveal nicky stops posting on it bcus it feels too weird to him, until neil is like hey i wanted to spell dick with the ouija board again :( and then nicky brings it back with gusto

[gamblersdoll]

Guts takes Nerd's virginity at a wild school party while drunk, Their relationship will change after that for better or worse, write what you find most realistic. :D

tw: dubcon, oral (f), p in v, virginity loss, alcohol for those who aren’t into this kind of setting, this is somewhat new to me as well. please DNI if this isnt your cup of tea

you debated on going, you really did.

parties werent your thing, but you felt drawn to it, to the experience. however, you had absolutely no reason to go. you know, no friends, no reputation, (except for being a nerdaholic,) and no interest in alcohol or anything.

but what if.. he were there? that would be the only reason you would or could go.

damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

the music blasted your ears, practically banging into your eardrums. your couldnt hear anything, yet you heard everyones thoughts. their faces said it all. you didn’t have to hear them.

“she actually came?”

“maybe she thought it was some study group.”

“how much you wanna bet that she leaves in five minutes?”

many faces that you saw. confused, pitiful, disgusted, disappointed. but you stayed to yourself, keeping your head low and just trying to enjoy yourself. the smell of alcohol burned your nose, seeing several spiked punch bowls and the obvious hard liqueur. everyone seemed experienced with the alcohol.

you felt someone bump into you, turning your head and looking at the person responsible.

guts.

he didnt look your way, obviously looking for someone else or something else. it didnt bother you, you were just somewhat happy that he was there. you looked to the punch bowl, deciding that you could relax, yet be safe.

you have never tasted something so strong, obviously someone doesnt know how to evenly measure liqueur and juice together. because you tasted more liqueur than fruit punch. like, only a damn hint.

but you felt so warm in your chest, your tummy, your arms. it was like a warm burn, a comfortable one. you were in a room by yourself, at least. just being able to be at a party counts, right? you honestly dont know why you even came, but for guts…

what the hell are you thinking?

you didnt show up for him, that damn brute.

you took another gulp, immediately swallowing the god awful liquid and feeling that same burn again in your chest.

you were fucked, a lightweight at that. what the hell were you thinking? youre not gonna want to wake up early tomorrow. you couldnt even stand, not like this. you go try to take another sip, but someone slams open the door to the secluded room.

guts peaks his head in, making eye contact with you. “so youre still here. why?” he questions, closing the door and closing the distance between you both.

you reeked of the alcohol, he could smell it on you. “holy shit– are you drunk? i didnt know that the nerd could drink!” he laughs, putting a hand on your shoulder. he’s hysterical.

you look up at him, eyes glossy and puffy, your chest feeling like it’s burning, but somehow you were able to reach up and kiss him. he muffles a protest for a moment, yet, he wraps his arms around you. he greedily shoves his tongue into your mouth, fighting yours, which didnt put much of a battle up.

your back reaches the plush mattress of whoever’s bed this was, but your shorts were thrown off. you laid there, allowing him to touch you in the most intimate way and it all felt like a burning touch. to say you were sensitive was an understatement.

“a nerd having a body like this..” he grumbled, ripping your panties off, “wearing red panties..” he groaned out, his mouth satiated with drool and he dove into your cunt, lapping up at the intoxicated slick of your intoxicating pussy. you moaned out, your body being so sensitive, it felt like each blood cell was in your clit.

you felt like you were seeing stars, your eyes screwed shut and him prying your legs open. he noisily slurped up your juices, you trying to close your legs out of embarrassment. he took his tongue and licked up your clit, to your abdomen, to your tummy, to your breasts, to your lips.

he took himself out of his jeans, stroking himself with slow pumps and crawling on top of you. “relax the most you can. you should know how sex works, right nerd?” he asks, looking down at you.

you nod, “yes..” you say, to the best of your abilities.

he drove the tip of his cock up and down your slit, before sliding himself inside. he groaned, eyes rolling back momentarily and you winced from the stretch. but you were able to relax, thanks to the alcohol.

he thrusted into you, slowly. he did feel something somewhat pop, “guess i popped your cherry, huh nerdhead?” he chuckles, thrusting his hips slower until your hips rested some more. “there you go, fuck you feel good.”

you started to moan out, adjusting to his size and length as he gripped the sheets beneath you. “ ‘could a nerd feel this fuckin’ good?” he questioned, his hips starting to pick up a rhythm. he grips at your hips next, putting his weight into his knees as he pulls his hips back. “take me, take all of me.” he says, each word having their own thrust.

what you suspected was your climax, snapped. and you squeezed on him, eyes fully blown out and you moaned, no, screamed from how nerve wracking your orgasm was. he was better than your fingers, better than a wet dream. you looked down to see his entire abdomen soaked, not really sure what happened.

“youre a fuckin squirter? oh, i see. you’re pretending to be a nerd, but youre some kind of sexual deviant arent you?” he questions and pries, thrusting into your cervix again. he gets close to your ear, dangerously close. he’s breathing on you, heavily. and he’s practically humping his cock into you.

his hips grow erratic, his breathing becoming labored. he pulls himself out, quickly stroking himself to come onto your plush stomach.

he pants out, trying to catch his breath. “how did you get here?”

the drive home was quiet, very, quiet. to your surprise, he drove a smaller car, like a miata. he also was a decent driver, and wasnt even intoxicated at all. he pulls up to your residence, and he unlocks the passenger door. “we’re here.”

you open and close the door, walking around to his side and lean down, poorly. “t’ank you, gus..” you say, walking to your door.

luckily, he waited and watched you until you close the door behind you, then drove off.

[kaspbra-cant-even]

So like everyone i have thoughts on the usamericans leaving tiktok for a few hours (short disclaimer the circumstance in which that happend are in every way horrofic distopian and i am not say they should banned from tiktok this is not what this is about) it made me realise how much us content is being shoved down my throat every day on the internet and that i don’t like it.

This started early on when i was watching youtubers like early smosh and the likes and it helped me learn english and my overall internet presence has always centered mainly around usamerican creators which i did enjoy. But now for the first time me, and a lot of other people around the world wondered what a big mainstream socila media platform would look like without that and it was a nice thought. Fact is that all the space these creators take up, they take away from other people from other countries and it makes those spaces lack diversity.

I saw a video from a few people saying that their content was being pushed out way more in those hours and as soon as the usamericans returned it stopped.

I am a big advocate of shaping your own internet experience by searching for specific interests/communities etc and i do but i don’t want usamerican content to be the default that i have to actively get away from in favour of my own community.

I am not american i don’t want to know every little thing about their politics and their drama and still it is being pushed on me. There were elections in my country a few weeks back and it was a shit show and we still don’t have a new president and i realised how little i knew about the politics going on in my own country.

This is not about blame or hate it’s just about the realisation how much space the usa has taken up in my mind and in these online spaces, disproportionatly to the rest of the world. I just wish it were more balanced.

It’s wild how some usamericans react to this discourse, of course you can’t relate because for the first time this wasn’t about you and the rest of the world is not in debt to you to watch you and only you. And those who are upset about the mean things the others say to you, maybe ask yourselves why they say it.

Fuck this us cyber imperialism idgaf what the names of all the states are and how your electoral system works and who said what on fox news as long as i dont get that same level of information about my own community let alone the rest of the world. You are not the status quo and there is a rest of the world i would love to discover as organically as your stuff is being shown to me.

Also it has shifted things like discourse about racism in europe so much. For example this black and white categorization does not work in europe and still i hear my own communities talk like that. The concept of black as it exists in the usa and has been shaped there by history gets lost in “translation” to european discourse because we have a different history and not to say that black people don’t have a hard time but that’s not the end of the story. By american standards i am white but i come from eastern europe, living in western europe i have faced discrimination, it is not only about the color of your skin and i hate that this debate has been simplified so much in favour of these us centric talking points.

The culture is seeping into everything and it’s exhausting because it takes away from actual conversations that we could and should have not only when it comes to racism but about culture as well.

If feel like part of that us culture is reducing things to “trends” and “theories” and commodifying other cultures. (What the fuck do you mean “balkan breakfast” and then eating random raw uncut veggies) it’s not sharing culture it’s a bastardasation of that in the persuit of hyperindividualism. The homeland of kapitalism on crack, it takes things from other cultures and twists them into marketable, bitesized trends.

It would have been nice to see what could have been.

This is no individuals shortcoming or fault. It’s a culture that has been cultivated by a deeply kapitalist and imperialistic country.

[mbti-notes]

Hi! I came across this post of yours /post/179222467392/you-once-said-that-you-are-not-a-religios-person and i was wondering what the things are in Buddhist philosophy that u dont agree with? And also how did u manage to tap into the oneness belief? I heard ppl often get there thru ego death by using meditation or psychedelic drugs. Lately I have been into this topic and into getting into that oneness belief and you seem to know a great deal about philosophy!

If you're new here, philosophy is one of my majors. I learned religious philosophy as part of my studies in the history of human thought, so people sometimes ask me about these topics.

- To be clear, I am sympathetic to Buddhist beliefs and I think the religion has a lot to offer people. Buddhist philosophy underwent a lot of change over the centuries as the religion spread through very different cultures. When you dive deep into the scriptures, you'll find some truly wild ideas about multiverses and supernatural beings. It's hard to get on board with those ideas if you are a rational and scientifically minded person.

At this point, there are several different branches of Buddhism that sometimes hold very contradictory beliefs, yet they all still call themselves "Buddhist" (contrast this with Abrahamic religions that splintered three ways). Such contradictions are possible because Buddhist beliefs are almost designed to be impervious to critique. On one hand, this allows for great diversity of thought. On the other hand, it can make the whole thing seem nonsensical.

For example, I don't agree with how Buddhists conceptualize and characterize the human ego. However, as soon as I raise those objections to these Buddhists over here, some Buddhists over there will argue that there are different levels of understanding and many different ways of looking at the ego depending on how far you've gotten in your Buddhist practice. They simultaneously accept and dismiss my objections. Thus, if you want to be Buddhist, you basically have to accept this sort of incoherence and perhaps dismiss it as illusory or the result of small-mindedness.

At the end of the day, whether I agree or disagree with the beliefs is inconsequential, because no objection is really real or pointing to anything permanent. But when all your thoughts and feelings and behaviors can easily be dismissed as unreal, what happens to your life? Whether or not your life is objectively real, it still seems real to you and you have to live it, and the suffering you experience feels real. Can you dismiss it as just ephemera? There has always been an internal debate in the religion about whether one should be apart from or a part of the material world, and I don't think this kind of ambiguity helps people who are already struggling psychologically.

- I guess you could say I came to the belief in oneness first through intuition, then through science, then through philosophy. I think I mentioned before that, as a child, I genuinely believed that everything in the universe was imbued with some form of consciousness (aka panpsychism). It's not an uncommon belief in children because the human mind has a tendency toward anthropomorphism. For example, I would wonder whether stepping on the sidewalk was hurting it. People had to reassure me that if the sidewalk had feelings, its feelings worked differently than human feelings, otherwise, the sidewalk would object in the same way I would to getting stepped on.

Most people grow up and forget about these silly notions, but I didn't. Psychologists say that normal infant development starts at oneness and evolves into individuality. I feel like the world tried to convince me that I'm this separate, discrete, individual being, but I just couldn't believe it. Separation has always felt to me like a very wrong way to be. Who is right, the psychologists or me? I don't know. Maybe a Buddhist would say we're both right and we're both wrong and that neither is seeing the bigger picture.

To me, it seems as though I was born believing in panpsychism because I don't remember a time when I didn't believe it, so there is no actual "origin story" or explanation as to how I came to the belief. If I am capable of consciousness, why wouldn't it be possible that everything else is as well? If I am capable of being conscious of others, shouldn't there be something out there conscious of me? And if consciousness exists everywhere in everything, isn't reality fundamentally relational? In order for these beliefs to stand, I had to possess the underlying belief that everything in the universe is somehow interconnected despite superficial appearances.

Then, I studied science in school and learned that all matter in the universe is made up of the same constituent elements. We are all stardust. At the atomic and quantum level, the boundaries we perceive between objects are difficult to define. As an adult, I studied philosophy and was introduced to the full gamut of human thought and learned that oneness was a key concept in many Eastern religions. Actually, several influential thinkers in the West (such as Jung) were heavily influenced by Eastern philosophy. Philosophical training helped me sharpen and refine my spiritual ideas.

- Yes, some people come to a belief in oneness through psychedelic drugs. Presumably (according to the limited research that has been done so far), these drugs help to "open up the mind" by restructuring it in such a way that expands one's perspective beyond one's narrow everyday ego concerns. Some people call this "ego death", but I don't like that term. As I mentioned above, I don't agree with Buddhist conceptions of the ego, which some secular Buddhists blithely reduce to "ego death = enlightenment". If you read my previous posts on this topic, you'll see why. I don't believe the ego is a bad thing or an enemy to be vanquished. I've seen how aspiring to ego death can go terribly wrong for people. And I've been exposed to different perspectives on ego and believe there are better ideas out there.

[augustrambles]

DAY 1 KENNY MCCORMICK, general hc alphabet.

A. Admitting feelings.

he'd admit his feelings willingly, he defintely confessed first. he would make it a very special event however, he'd bring flowers and he'd bake a sweet you like just for you, show up at your house as he tells what you mean to him.

B. Bad Habit.

having a lot of physical attraction towards people, he loves you so much, he'd never love someone else like he loves you, but he does compliment others a lot, not just to be nice but because he finds people attractive. he thinks you dont really like that about him

C. Commitment.

he wouldn't expect to get married, have kids and all that, but if it does get to that point he's happily doing what he should to mantain the relationship. he loves you a lot, and he wouldn't leave you for anyone!

D. Damage.

its not actual serious damage, but since he's been with people whos used him just for sex, he'd find it weird if you arent over him 24/7 asking to be laid, he doesnt really mind though

E. Energy

he isnt energetic, but isnt inactive either, he does go to parties frequently however, but he always invites you! if you dont want to go, its a big chance he wont either. theres always a special occasion however where he does go with you, he texts you every hour though

F. First date

for a first date, he'd want it to be very romantic and all, maybe a movie date or dinner at a fancy restaurant (which you'd pay for) or just sitting at a grass filled garden, picking flowers and cuddling with him, whatever you'd like the most

G. Get away

he LOVES vacations, will go anywhere, out of the country or just a hotel near the state. if its with you, he'd even go to the moon so

H. Hygiene

he'd like to have better hygiene but due to the cough financial situation, he usually showers or brushes his teeth at your house, your parents are happy with it of course

I. Initiative

hes VERY initiative, always starts things, and barely gives you a chance to recommend going somewhere or do something.

J. Jealous

doesnt get jealous quite often to be honest, if anything you would get jealous of random girls trying to ask him out. but will not hesitate to beat ass for you

K. Kiss

he loves kissing you<3 he gives you kisses all the time especially during cuddle sessions. his kisses are either passionate or quick goodbye kisses.

L. Love

he's quick to say i love you, he'd go up to you when you arrive to the bus stop, even if you have one day of dating, and go 'goodmorning [name]! i love you" same with goodbyes, hes so sweet

M. Maintenance

while he doesnt use skincare products, boy this man LOVES to take care of himself, he loves to be treated like a princess and just lay on your bed with a facemask and cucumbers on his eyes. does not care if anyone makes fun of him

this made me want to play royale high i dont know why

N. NOPE

he doesnt have any turn offs really, just dont be a complete asshole and he'll like you

O. Opinion

doesnt get into much debates, but hes usually calm about it, unless its something about a celebrity or something, diss one of his faves he will go crazy

P. Pranks

he LOVES pranking, doesnt do it as often as he wants to, but theres something he loves about scaring the hell out of people

Q. Quirk

probably being very charming, he loves charming people so much! its like a hobby especially if theyre rich

R. Reliable

you can defs count on kenny! he'd do anything you want, cook? sure, wash the dishes? alright, take out the trash? he's used to it. hes like a little house wife

S. Scent

HE 100% WOULD USE COLOGNE. if its a gift from you, he would literally even use it to go to sleep, he luvs smelling good

T. Temper

not much of a temper actually, he gets mad when people talk shit about him or like when stan was crying because kyle was dying even though kenny dies everyday

U. Underwear

he doesnt wear undies.

V. Victory

lowkey a sore loser, he loves winning and he gets mad if people beat him, moves on quickly though

W. Wild Card

he has a birth mark on the back of his neck, it looks like a healed burn

X. XXX

probably suggests it indirectly on the first few dates, causing a giggle or two, and then when the relationship is establed already then he'll talk about it

Y. Yelling

doesnt yell unless hes mad, but would rather die than yell at you or his sister

Z. Zzz

sleeps a lot esp on school nights, but can and will pull an all nighter playing games with you or just texting eachother

[thequietkid-moonie]

Honestly, lately I like Reverse 1999 story better then HSR. I still like HSR, but I'm so tired of the sus characters turning up to be misunderstood. The previous quest (that I watch playtrough, since I don't have time to play), is kind of mid to me. Yet, with Reverse 1999 I felt like I was riding on the wild roller coaster.

Not only that but Reverse 1999 characters designs are way more creative, and doesn't feel copy and paste. And unlike *cough* Genshin *cough* Bluepoch does respects characters culture by giving them the skin colour that represents their nationality.

Of course this my personal opinion. Which storytelling do you prefer?

Uhuhuhu my lord! You have awaken and internally debate inside of me! I been thinking about this almost all day! And this post is goint to be loooong so be ready

Okay so, I can't choose between Reverse 1999 and Honkai Star Rail, I love both way too much and I feel like both does go in diferent ways

I think that one of the biggest diferences between the storytelling is that hoyoverse in general is incredibly good at creating interesting and captivating stories but doesn't really have idea of how to tell them, wich lead then to sin of pretentious and profound while in Reverse 1999 takes time to tell you the story, it introduces you and immerses you in its world in a pretty natural way and treats you like Vertin herself, letting you know the important things as the story goes on (with some exceptions just to make the suspense grow)

I feel like the story of r1999 is much more mature and goes for a more solid rute, like it really focus on the world and conflicts have created and everything goes around that same conflict, one way or another (you can even see it in the chapter of Vertin's past, everything has to be with the storm! Even the debate about Vertin's actions is indirectly related to the storm), except for the stories of the events, those stories can be quite slow at times since but still always has something to contribute to the lore

Also, one of the biggest diferences that i personally see is that Bluepoch thinks a lot on the player and tries to make the experience as enjoyable as posible while Hoyoverse things more on money rather than the player

I absolutely love HSR story, I played the penacony story as it was being released and I was on the edge to know what was going to happen but I do admit that the whole story was a "I do can tell you the details, but I dont want 😼", there was so much interesting characters that were just a waste, it feels like everything it's halfway through because they tries to be misterious and the conclusion is quite rushed and somewhat poorly done, but aside from that the rest of the story is pretty decent

Also, one of the biggest diferences is the text, I think HSR doesn't have an awful amount of text as Genshin but still there are things that just they are left over at times. I think Reverse 1999 gives npc a better treatment than HSR and specially Genshin, in r1999 the npcs mainly purpose is to naturaly tell you about the place you are, to teach you in what context you are and let you get inmerse in the story and makes it pretty well! It feels quite natural and it doesn't become tiring with an awful amount of inecesary text (like in Genshin), besides the story doesn't treat you like an idiot and explain something over and over again

Also, the desings I also things are incredibly creative but r1999 has the advantage of being of diferent historical periods and the same story tells you that arcanist aren't always human so that open a good oportunity to get creative! Still, I think Bluepoch is incredibly creative

Im not going to talk about Genshin natlan characters, I still think that Genshin developers worry more about money than the player so if making white characters is what make then win more good for them I guess 🤷🏻

While HSR characters are an interesting case, they either come up with incredibly interesting and unique desing or go back to the woman with the outfit with the chinese like base desing

[vampzxi]

𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭!𝘳𝘪𝘳𝘪 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘴

hi guys i finally finished the riri hcs...dont jump me idk why they took so long. if you have any other hcs PLEASE tell me i literally love riri so much it's probably unhealthy at this point. check out my highschool!shuri headcanons here! :)

taglist!: @vixentheplanet @abenomeiiii @inmyheadimobsessed @zayswriting @pinkwright @ccharrrr @letitias-fav @shuriszn @generallysapphic @iotusroses @marsolgy @ihearttish (ask to be added or fill out this form. i'm so forgetful i'm sorry!)

academic

・❥・top of her class, dur 🤦🏽 (her and shuri are a year apart, riri being a junior)

・❥・homework side hustle (she’s a very expensive woman)

・❥・prefers math over any other subject, cannot stand english

・❥・despite not liking english, she has a very creative mind and all her english teachers love her

・❥・very quiet in class, minds her business for the most part

・❥・frequently spends all-nighters on her homework simply because she got too distracted (chronic procrastinator)

・❥・undiagnosed adhd

・❥・fidgeter. will bounce her leg, tap her nails on the desk, mess with her jewelry, cannot stay still in her seat

・❥・neat handwriting because her mom and step-dad taught her how to write nicely from a young age

・❥・terrible test anxiety

・❥・slick mouth often gets her into a lot of arguments with teachers.. (she made a teacher retire early once)

・❥・spends most of her time in her welding/metallurgy class, before and after school. if she's not there then she's at the garage

・❥・was forced into the debate club because her teacher told her to "channel her argumentative energy elsewhere" but she ended up loving it and wins most of her meets

social

・❥・despite keeping to herself, virtually everyone is cool with her

・❥・skips class with shuri sometimes

・❥・naturally flirty personality

・❥・gets dragged to parties by shuri but ends up having more fun than she does

・❥・picky eater

・❥・dancer. you cannot pull her off the dance floor

・❥・cannot speak xhosa to save her life...shuri makes fun of her a lot

・❥・gets angry easily, so she's been in her fair share of fights. she has yet to lose one

・❥・basketball player, her step dad taught her how to hoop

・❥・smokes 🍃 occasionally

・❥・favorite anime is soul eater

・❥・guilty pleasure: musicals. and shuri is the only one who knows this because she walked in on her singing "In The Heights". (she made shuri swear to secrecy)

・❥・loves skating

・❥・she switches up her style often, most times you'll just see her in a shirt and sweats. but she doesn't mind putting on a cute skirt or dress every now and then

romantic

・❥・if you like her, good luck. there's a line a mile long.

・❥・very cocky, she knows shes the shit.

・❥・drooler and snorer.

・❥・her love languages are words of affirmation and quality time, so she always has to let you know how good you look, or how smart you are, or how much she enjoys being around you. your date nights mostly consist of cuddling under each other and watching movies

・❥・drags you to the skating rink at least once a week

・❥・posts you all over her social medias. like constantly. when you ask her why she usually responds with something along the lines of, "i just want the world to see how fine you are."

・❥・wild sleeper, she usually ends up kicking you off the bed

・❥・she plays with your hair a lot

・❥・loves lego sets and puzzles and begs you to do them with her and shuri (you always say yes)

・❥・loves PDA, will literally kiss you anywhere, any time

・❥・rambles about you to shuri constantly

・❥・always bringing you something she made for you in her metallurgy class. you appreciate them but you're running out of room because of the amount she gives you

・❥・since she's in the garage most of the time, you end up having to drag her out

・❥・very oblivious with signals, if you try to drop hints she will not pick them up

・❥・scratcher.

・❥・debates everything, resulting in a few arguments. but she always ends up apologizing in the end. in certain ways 🤭

・❥・very possessive. she intentionally leaves hickeys on you. you don't mind though

thanks again for reading! yes i wrote this because im procrastinating on the shuri fic...mind your business. leave your headcanons guys :3

[letmeoutofthebasementt]

who in skz and ateez give you the ick the most and who in the two groups makes you cringe the most?

bangchan bro is a manchild and has no boundaries with stay enough said, would be very dramatic in a relationship but as always stay will overworship the grounds this grown man walks oj when he is indeed a walking red flag

lee know or seung min is second for me in skz, i dont like their behaviour the way they mistreat certain members is as childish as school bullies and their dgaf attitude stinks just grow up. i dont know why but they make me so annoyed even writing about them gives me the ick. more red flagged than chan tbh. im certain lee know would only want a relationship if he has someone to do things for him.

for ateez its

hongjoong again these leaders arent beating the manchild vibes lots of people worshil him in a romantic sense but i dont get no romantic vibes from him again he uses hwa as his personal maid but i adore his performances yet i would not see myself dating someone who cannot cook nor clean after themselves. red flag material right there.

hmm i debated this one but wooyoung only cares about himself. often has such a potty mouth that no one stops him from saying some really hurtful unfunny things again bit like lee know there seems to be more about feeding his ego than helping anyone else out if he ever get in a relationship id be surprised that it last longer than a month prox. again more red flagged than the leader. but hes another heavily worshipped member that i just dont vibe with i think hes too rude at times to his members or even others without realising and he hides behind this demeanor trying to be funny but its rude asf. yet people think hes so wonderful yes at performing but personally not my type of partner.

i think my problem is i can see through an idols idol image but people will really overworship their faves and claim this and that about them to defend their feelings because they dont ever want to see their faves in a bad light yet i think many of them are often worse than they deem themselves to be.

i also feel like they can easily manipulate their fans into having stockholm syndrome like their fans will just be ohhh he is so dateable and theres nothing wrong he could do but they never consider the fact these idols really really know how to perform to make people idolise them in such ways. especially given how young most stays seem to be in their teen years and again i like their performances but thats it for me. i aint being deluded no more yet if we try to ever comment anything undeluded we get shitted on for it.

what do you think about this? its ridiculous the lengths people will go to to absolutely claim their faves can do no wrong when its obvious in their on camera behaviour. i almost feel too old to be caring about this stuff but i see it more and more how whacked out it is, bangchan and stays relationship is like a toxic ex that never lets go of the relationship so what do some idols really expect people to be like towards them? they practically encourage unhealthy behaviours from the get go. "hey chan pin me up the wall" chans response "say please?" just yikes big effing no.

This is all just my opinion since I don’t know them.

First off Stockholm syndrome is wild 😭

You can just say they can make their fans delusional but like Stockholm syndrome is very different and very serious?

It’s not something to be taken lightly or thrown around

Also same with manipulate just in the connotation you used it in

I agree that they definitely feed into a lot of fans’ delusions and such

But it’s their job to

Now, I don’t think any particularly make me cringe more than others. Other than Mingi. I love him. He’s one of my faves. But that “Gotta work gotta make that money make purse” whisper thing haunts me.

Still love him and I have nothing against him.

But yeah, they all make me cringe sometimes. All people do.

I can agree, however, that a lot of them have very apparent red flags. I can also agree that fans can be overly delusional

With the Chan “say please?” thing I think that’s mostly fanservice. And also like…How else do you respond to that in his situation? He can’t overtly turn the fan down if he wanted to. This is a job. It never necessarily rubbed me the wrong way. Don’t get me wrong I’m not all into it going Gaga or whatever, but he’s an idol. His JOB is to appeal to the masses and feed into the delusion because that’s what pays and feeds him.

Honestly with Chan he’s always been very interesting to me. He reminds me of a teen parent a lot. In the sense of he never had quite got the chance to grow up but also had to grow up too fast at the same time. So you have that balance of being overly immature and overly mature. I wouldn’t call him a manchild though, he never gave me those vibes.

Honestly he seems more responsible than what people give him credit for. I feel like with Chan he’s just more mature in general than he’s given credit for, even with how he interacts with his group and certain situations.

But I think the disconnect is how deeply delusional he can be overtly. Which honestly I can understand. He’s a prime example of what happens when essentially your entire life from 13 to 27 is devoted on one thing. You start to worship it, almost. Put it on a platter and view it as the best thing ever. Do whatever you can to appeal to it. Become obsessed with it.

It’s part of what I hate about how young trainees are. You’re told your entire life that your fans are all that matters. You can’t date because you’d be betraying your fans. Have to be perfect so your fans love you and you want their love. Have to act both ‘sexy’ and ‘cute’ so that your fans will adore you, but lean into one too heavily and you’ll be too much. And most of all his life is dictated by them.

I feel like imo the Stockholm syndrome title if applicable to anyone in the situation goes to the idols.

Now, I can see the immaturity in him. I’m not saying it’s not there. But I wouldn’t call him a man child.

Like even looking at how he handled the situation of not being able to debut. He was a trainee for 7/8 years and never debuted. Of course an argument can be made of his immaturity because of that. But it takes a very very mature person to be able to sit there and say “I’ll debut when it’s my time to debut” and push through that. Or at least a very strong person.

This may just be my personal opinion.

And to say he has no boundaries with stay I feel is both accurate and innacurate. He has boundaries when it comes to certain things. Stay is often the one lacking boundaries. And if you spend 7 years with people pushing and pushing and disrespecting your boundaries and viewing you as an object you’ll start to believe there aren’t any boundaries there.

Does he say some cringeworthy stuff because of it? Yes. But the behavior in and of itself is entirely understandable.

With Lee Know and Seungmin I wouldn’t say they mistreat members. You can tell they care about the other members. But I can agree they can go to far in the things they say. Now, I’m not going to claim I’ve seen everything SKZ has ever done. Namely those two. But from what I’ve seen mistreatment is an over exaggeration of the highest order.

You’re acting as if Lee Know is a selfish person who doesn’t like someone who can’t do all kinds of stuff for people which isn’t something he’s necessarily shown? I can agree that sometimes he takes what he may believe as light hearted teasing or playful words too far. I’m not saying he doesn’t. But you can tell he never necessarily means for it to be purposeful.

And Stray Kids themselves have even stated he’s less like that with Felix because Felix can’t handle it. Which, using media literacy, means that if someone voices they don’t like it or he can tell they can’t take it he won’t do it. And Lee Know also added I.N to that and said he doesn’t fool around with him as much.

I’ve had friends who are similar. I even have family who are very similar. When you’re used to people showing their affection by…I don’t want to say making fun of you but making fun of you and saying certain things, you start doing that.

I’m not saying that’s his case. I don’t know him. But it’s an example.

And you can tell he’s caring. You can tell he cares about his members. You can even tell from the Muslim kid he’s been sponsoring.

Now, he has very apparent red flags I’ve seen. Like I said, he takes things too far sometimes. And honestly I don’t know what you mean by grow up. You can tell he cares about things but generally he doesn’t let things get to him because he’s mature. I know this statement is…Annoying, but some times things simply are not that deep. Plain and simple. He can understand it.

If there’s certain times he’s taken that too far I don’t know. I haven’t seen all of SKZ’s content.

With Seungmin, I haven’t watched a lot of stuff about him. I’ve only seen things he’s said to Bangchan about being old, and I can’t remember Chan’s reaction so I really can’t tell if he took offense to it/was hurt by it or not. Depending on Chan’s reaction it’s an entirely different…Comment? Dunno if that makes sense but I can’t find any other way to word it.

With Hongjoong I can admit I don’t consume a lot of Ateez content outside of their music and some interviews/moments I see on my feed. Mostly because I’m a more casual enjoyer of them than anything. But I’ve never seen him act like a man child? Ever?

If you have clips that give you those vibes let me know but I haven’t seen them.

Wooyoung I can see where you get certain things from. IMO, a lot of those things just read as he’s too…I guess confident. Bold. Unapologetically all up in your face saying whatever. People like that can sometimes be rude because they don’t take the time to think before they say or do things. They just do.

Though I don’t see the selfish aspect. You can tell he loves and cares for his members and even his friends outside of Ateez like Changbin/Felix for example since we’re on the topic of SKZ.

Maybe this is a difference of perspectives or content consumed. I don’t know. I hope you don’t feel like I’m trying to like…Disprove you or discredit your opinion because I’m not. I’m more giving my two cents on what’s said.

But yeah, people need to stop pretending their faves do no wrong. Because they do MUCH wrong. They have their ‘WTF’ moments and their cringe moments because they’re human.

But ngl I feel like (No hate or offense by this) you may fall into the polar opposite? Like you’re giving them too much grief for very human things they do and kind of bringing them to an extreme.

But it also might be because I’m the type of person who tries to think of the reasoning of an act rather than the act itself. Though the act always weighs in. And I’m also much less…Emotional? Generally? I attach less to it even if I can understand other’s emotions.

I like to look at all aspects of a situation. That can also be a disconnect

But yeah, in conclusion idols are humans with red flags who do very human things I guess

This reads like a rant but is not one 😭

[kxmpfflieger]

I wish to be upfront about a few things

Hey gang, let's have a talk about the future of this account.

In truth, I no longer wish to associate myself with the history community, specifically the Great War subsection I've actively participated in for the last (three-ish?) years.

I'm going to be blunt and say that it is because of the people I've come across. This place is a minefield, and every second mine that blows up in your face starts a chain reaction worse than the last. Its terrible. Ive hated it. And my only mistake has been not openly stepping down a year ago like I originally wanted. There's been a LOT of unsavory characters that I have followed and supported unknowingly, and people that I've just encountered out in the wild that just made me sick to my stomach. Despite my better judgement, I've persisted, but I recognise the toll it has taken on my mental health is really not worth any of this.

To add insult to injury, actively being in the history community has made me scared of engaging with other communities in fear of being ousted for the stigma WW/Imperial Germany art can carry in general, and its become a problem the more I've grown tired and fallen out of love with this material.

I wish to branch out, I don't want to be associated with this community anymore because of the shit I've seen and how insensitive and out-of-touch a lot of the people seem to be about such serious subjects.

My relationship with Martyrs is definitely not what it used to be, same goes for the "source material". I wish I could tell you a few bad apples didnt spoil the basket, but they did. In truth, I've lost the love I held for it.

A mix of the rancid experiences I've had with the community this past year, combined with the fact publishing comics as a One Man Team is something I wouldn't wish upon anyone (burnout, impostor syndrome, having to deal with carpal tunnel for the rest of my life now partially because of it, off the top of my head).

I don't want to drop the comic nor the characters I've made, developed and invested myself in for the past two years of my life. I need time to heal my relationship with my art, Martyrs in its entirety, and just broaden my horizons with other fandoms instead of limiting myself to one thing. I will not abandon what I've worked so hard for, but I need time to pull myself back up.

I don't plan on stopping art of the characters entirely. But please be aware that if that was the only content you followed me for, you will have to deal with lots of other unrelated stuff from now on.

Getting myself lost in the absolute minefield this place is (the ww community) is not something I wish to do again. I dont want to be considered a member of it. I want to be an outsider occasionally dropping by. Only surface level stuff with art of my characters and comic, that's it.

I'm grateful for the connections and the wonderful close friends I've made. For all the lovely fan-works and words of love and endorsement I've received. But I need to take better care of myself, and there are very clear and specific steps I need to take to do so. I debated making this post in the first place and just phasing out ww art out slowly overtime, but doing so didnt feel right.

If you wish to unfollow me after this, please go ahead. You're not obligated to stay, nor am I obligated to keep you here. Thank you for sharing this journey with me for the past two years.

[cherry-dr0p]

I WISH TO RAMBLE!! IM NOT GONNA INCLUDE IMAGES BECAUSE I DONT WANNA BUT HERE WE GO

HUGE TWF4 SPOILERS

I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY!!!

Im not gonna lie, the start kinda had me like "This is what I waited ages for?" But then when the animatronic testing came around, thats when my interest truly started to pick up.

First of all, WHY WOULD YOU TGINK THAT FACIAL RECOGNITION FOR ANIMATRONICS IS A GOOD IDEA??? GENUINELY DID NO ONE HAVE THE COMMON SEMSE TO GO "HM, THIS MAY END NOT GOOD". Like I kind of understand the appeal for it because they may want the kids to feel,, more connected to the animatronics?? I dunno. But like?? I can understand for that time period the desire to have the animatronics interact with the audience (Not saying its a good idea but at least I can understand with this one why they may think it is in my head), but cmon..

Then from what I remember, the sprites came. And Good god did they creep me out slightly when I first saw them, especially Edd and Molly. I dunno, there was something extra creepy in my eyes seeing kids' faces messed up like that. Crazy. I also screamed when I finally saw "Bon" because Ive been keeping up with the Twitter TWF community somewhat, which means I already technically knew about "Bon". It was pretty cool to have him finally introduced in the actual story himself. Also Charles and Susan talking about Felix's addiction and if they should tell Rosemary and Jack(?) is crazy.

Aaaahhh but then the scene with Jack came around. Was rooting for him ngl. I honestly thought he died at the well scene but I dont see any correlation to that quite yet,, mayhaps. Felix almost jumping did make me feel a tiny bit bad for him bit like,, still. Fuck you Felix. I still hate him and 100% think hes getting what hes deserving. He feels guilty? Good. He should.

I cant remember if the Susan scene comes after this or not but I erm uh,,, That was VERY well done!! It gave me chills how you could still hear her breathe. Genuinely. The blood as well and Rocket closing their eyes?? Crazy. The jittery animation drove me insane, it was such an amazing detail that made things far more uncomfortable.

I cant remember where abouts the other Felix scene came but,, HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH ROCKET. I DUNNO,, DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN TAKE IT WITH YOU?? PUT IT IN YOUR HOME OR RESTAURANT?? WHY DID YOU THINK THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA. I SWEAR, MY GUY HAS NEGATIVE BRAINCELLS... But I also think we all know why he's so attached,, him getting haunted by the kids is wild.

The last scene very much makes me think "Bon" is Jack. I unno, very much could be wrong but just the way he talks and is dressed makes me think he is. The fact that he knows so well of what hes talking about and the voice,, maybe the general face shape too. Me thinks its either Brian(Ive saw that theory floating around) or Jack, but Im more leaning towards Jack. It also freaked me out slightly the way Susan came on all deformed too, that was freaky. The voices of all the characters in this new afterlife were very VERY cool too. And the whole mask being given and "Bon" talking about making her "beautiful" too? That was cool. The scene with Edd and Molly debating whether to save Susan too filled my heart with a weird sort of awe. They have a great relationship as siblings together imo, I do very much love their dynamic.

It'd be cool to see the other two episodes for the finale which I think are coming out very soon!! Which is very exciting!! I 100% reccomend TWF4, it's phenomenal and the wait was 200% worth it in my eyes. You can definitely see the developers heart and soul being put into this project, which is very nice to see. In my eyes, you dont see it often. I dunno if I missed out a scene or two from my rant but overall? I adored watching this (Ive already told some of my friends to watch it >:3).

Rant over anyways, buh bye for now :3

[acti-veg]

I’ve been vegan since before I met my partner, and he’s been a bug and reptile enthusiast since before he met me.

He REALLY wants to buy something. Tarantulas, snakes, cockroaches, fish. He has bought bugs and reptiles from breeders in the past but we currently have nothing but my childhood cat, and feeding him is emotionally taxing enough. Every time he asks i say I’m unsure, i need to do more research. I dont want to debate him on anything but he is insistent that breeders are vital for species conservation.

Ive come to the conclusion absolutely no carnivorous pets, no reptile breeders. A reptile is relatively easy to find as a rescue where I live and I think animal rescue is one of the most vegan things you can do. But what about bugs? Can you rescue a bug? I still feel very wrong about buying and breeding them and keeping them in a tank like little decorations. We have a couple snails in a jar that hitched a ride on some apples we harvested and I feel real terrible about not just letting them go. I feel at a loss, bugs and reptiles are his passion and i dont want to take that away from him but I dont know if he’ll ever see them the way I do. I grew up watching my reptiles suffer in poor conditions because my mom looked at them like toys, i used to beg my sister to release her buckets full of hundreds grasshoppers dying all over each other and be told no, shes “learning” about them. The thought of being back in a home surrounded by miserable animals makes me feel sick.

I used to be deeply involved in this world when I was younger, and none of it is about conservation. Most reptile and exotic enthusiasts more generally are little more than collectors, and the live trade of endangered animals in particularly is inextricably linked to poachers and wild caught species. That’s how they get here in the first place.

There is really no way to argue that breeders who sell exotic animals to the public are essential for species conservation… Most actual conservationists would point out how the exact opposite is true, given the problem of wild-caught exotics, and the problem of feral populations establishing themselves extremely quickly in many places, and they’re very hard to dislodge once they get a foothold, as Florida has found with many reptiles and arachnids. He wants to acquire an exotic animal because he likes them, which is fine, but he can’t really pretend he’s doing it to support conservation.

You can adopt these animals, including arachnids but they’re far less commonly available. They are generally sold, because the exotic pet trade is alive and well, and quite profitable for breeders. Why give away an exotic animal when you can sell them? Regardless, the point of doing that should be to save an animal who won’t otherwise get adopted, not to acquire an exotic animal, which is too often the motivation.

I also found people massively underestimate just how much space these animals should have, the 3x4 vivariums most are kept in are just miserable for them, and they need a lot of stimulation and attention. You’d need the space for it, the money to feed them a high quality diet, all the equipment, he’d need to find a herbivorous animal up for adoption, and be able to guarantee he has the time to give them what they need. If he can do all that and you’d still not be comfortable, then your vote matters on this as much as his does, since you’re also going to have to live there.

I do want to emphasise though, that not wanting to share your home with exotic animals is not taking away his passion, and you shouldn’t feel pressured. I’m passionate about reptiles too, it’s just that now that I’m older I know that I don’t need to own any to do that. He may have to learn the same lesson too, if you’re really not comfortable with it.

Regardless, I think that he needs to be the one to do the research and show it to you, he needs to tell you what this would actually look like, show you adoptable animals, tell you where in the house they’d live, how the set up would be, how he’d feed them, what species, how many etc. You can’t really make an informed decision on that and come to a compromise without that information.

[starscelly]

a pleasure to ask more about the flying stars, i love hearing about it! 💚 i love the imagery of them with a long list of names they are debating for their band with only slightly mild hysteria of being up too late whether on some bighuge whiteboard or on a notes app like a baby names list before throwing their hands up, throwing a (hopefully metaphorical!) dart and introducing themselves as a different name every other night and taking audience feedback (getting a crowd of twenty something people to shout out if they prefer shooting stars or seeing stars) i think its so funny that they only realize that roope and robo go absolutely wild after they start performing 😭 five injured, microphone dead, still waiting for the crowd to pass robo back to them, divine inspiration struck for their band name at a show under an overpass and they still gotta pack their gear back up! i know you mention players as staff or assistance or a friend but are there other players involved in the scene? could be performing, could be a fan!

DEEPLY SORRY I LEFT THIS IN MY INBOX FOR SOO LONG.... forgive me. i love discussing the boys i just take forever to ruminate on my thoughts for them <3 i hope the long ass answer makes up for it omg

and oh yes at one point when theyre still figuring out the name they for Sure just start running a bit before shows "WE'RE THE [mumble unintelligible grumbling] STARS!" "hope you're excited to see the [WET COUGH] stars!" "... and with our dearest otter on the drums, WE are YOUR [loud clanging and banging from drumset] STARS!"

also hello "still waiting for the crowd to pass robo back to them" is so funny and so true. he's lost a shoe and ty is trying to drag him back to the stage but somebody has like a death grip on him and onstage otter and roope are frantically looking for something to write the name down with before they forget (miro wrote it in his notes app like the second one of them said it but he's staying quiet about it)

AND YES SO. delly harls are strictly Helping Out. delly by virtue of being otter's best friend/roommate BUT harls was like Into the punk scene!!! and really liked their sound (definitely NOTHING to do with any looks........) and befriended del who introduced him to the band etc etc so he was a fan turned roadie!

and wyatt DOES help run their merch table but he is ALSO a guitarist and singer . his stuff leans a little more like. indie rock than Heavier Punk like the flying stars play but he's a Friend of the Band (dating delly and always at his and otter's apartment because he's renting a room in Normal Dude joe pavelski's family home and is NOT bringing his boyfriend back there) and to seem more Professional they just have him perform as an opener ! because he is very good! though he honestly just ends up playing acoustic covers of popular punk/emo songs half the time the crowds are very endeared by his boyish swag.

i have ALSOOO played with the idea of him eventually Gaining Bandmates. which would probably end up being stank mav and nils! but i just havent fully decided their like. Instruments. i think one of them on keyboard would be kinda fun but grain of salt lol. i also want lian in here somewhere but i need him to get nhl time/more ahl time before i can flesh out those vibes.

AND I DONT THINK I EVER TALKED ABOUT THIS IM JUST REALIZING???? BUT MENTOR BAND!!!! disbanded mentor band but well. they all were fans of [insert tbd band name here actually maybe this is why i never talked about it] who were like. kinda on the cusp of fame? like were probably one album away from Making It before everything kinda crashed down. and it consisted of segs (vocals), klinger (guitar), esa (bass), bish (drums). their breakup was kinda messy and somewhat rooted in like. the very anti sellout culture of punk. to summarize it with like Minimal Detail (bc i would love to make a whole Thing abt it lowkey):

klinger out of nowhere is like. i have to go. there's better opportunities for me in california i know it (which was a Fucking Lie there was Drama with their manager but he didnt know how to or really want to articulate it and just wanted to get far away and his best offer was coming from california) which obviously everyone in the band IMMEDIATELY jumped on him like. what the fuck youre such a sellout we started this band as friends and youre leaving us for better opportunities?? in fucking california?? they were also all already like. on edge and stressed from the level of fame they were starting to get. so it was messy. and then him and esa had a messy breakup ofc. they're all cordial now but it lead to the immediate disbanding of the. band. because esa and tyler wanted to bring in other guitarists but bish refused to play with randos he wanted to play with his FRIENDS and it just. never worked out. so now esa tyler bish (and sometimes klinger when hes in town but . he tries to avoid being in town) spend their days working relatively normal ass jobs and going to flying stars shows and being like Don’t Be Us Don’t Go Sell Out Don’t Run From Feelings. and you know their asses are Listening to that Advice.

^ somehow that was the abbreviated version just trust me

[four-alligators-in-a-trenchcoat]

Transitioning to a Flip Phone: Beginning

As my semester started winding down, and finals started ranking up I found myself going back to the ever-present though of transitioning to a flip phone. I finally did it! Here is how it is going. I had done tons of research about transitioning to a flip phone months before hand, I didn't have many requirements like needing WhatsApp or any particular apps as I had access to my computer for specific things such as banking and schoolwork. I ended up going with the Sunbeam Bluebird for a couple reasons, despite its price. (also I just wrote it off as a reward for completing my semester lol)

Accessibility: I knew I wanted a T9 flip phone, a QRTY keyboard would have never worked for me at a flip phone size, woe to my fine motor skills. Voice-to-text is an option if you pay for the subscription (I do) and so although I try to exclusively type as a way to get proficient, longer more urgent texts can be sent quickly. Its very accurate as well! Restrictions: No social media! No googling! No videos! Nothing! Its all I have ever wanted from a flip phone, restriction wise. Instagram reels is/was such an addiction for me, and even with time-limits, greyscale, and just un-downloading it, I always came back to scroll. I was debating on whether or not I wanted a search engine, because although I love to google all the random questions I have, I also will absolutely read on AO3 for as much time as I can possibly allocate to that. Although I am not a huge fan of reading FF on the laptop, its a small workaround for the benefits im seeing. On the case of music: Spotify, I REALLY wanted to keep this as an app, but knew that with what I was looking for I would need to take that loss. I can download music onto the phone through an SD card, and it still has bluetooth which means I am still able to use my noise-cancelling headphones. Additionally, I mainly listen to music while im studying, which means I can just listen through my laptop; and I dont mind driving in silence. Basic Qualifications: Number one, navigation, Im in an area where the construction is crazy and I cant always rely on road signs. I live out in the country, so I havent needed or had the chance to memorize anything other than my usual routes and highways. Luckily, the Bluebird has Waze (which I had never used before) but it works really well! I will need to find a way to attach it to my dash so I'm not looking down at my lap though... I mentioned bluetooth in restrictions, but it was important to me that I could connect my QuiteComfort Bose headphones, especially being on a loud college campus and needing some peace and quiet to study properly.

The transitionary phase was incredibly easy, I have an AT&T phone plan and I just switched my SIM card from my iPhone to my Bluebird. Boom. Done. I imported my contacts with a MicroSD card which was equally as efficient. I can still access and use Messages on my MacBook, but they don't sync to my flip phone. All messages go through to the device I last messaged on. I did have to manually set up my voicemail, but that didnt take much effort.

The only difficulties I have had to deal with is that both my job and my school require apps for two-factor authentication. I believe I can work around that for my school, and get authentication codes by text message, but for my work I don't have that option. This is a big reason why I am considering keeping my iPhone useable, just without a SIM.

On the note of what I am going to do with my iPhone, for right now it is being kept charged and usable, because I'm still transitioning some of the information (like menstrual trackers) and the mentioned need for TFA. Another PRO about the Bluebird is that it does have hotspot capabilities, so Im assuming I would be able to connect my iPhone if I was ever out in the wild and needed to use it, assuming of course that I had taken my iPhone with me.

Day 3 Final Overview:

I have gotten quicker at typing on the T9 predictive keyboard and feel confident responding to messages without using text-to-speech. I also figured out how to attach media to my messages, which means everybody is receiving grainy low-quality pictures of my cats. Im finding that I have so much extra time to do things during the day. Where keeping up with household chores sometimes gets overwhelming by becoming a huge task to schedule into my day, I can do smaller things during downtime. Reheating some food for lunch? Five minuets in the toaster? Boom, I can clean off the counters, sweep the floor, and pick up a little as I wait. That makes such a huge impact on my day-to-day especially compared to the 40 reels I could have seen and than totally forgotten. I learned how to change the ring-tones for my contacts and notifications. There is a 'wolf howling' option that has been dedicated to my friends, of course. The little jingle of my phone can only mean that someone has texted me, so I'm less paranoid about notifications and the urge to pick up my phone whenever I see the screen light up. That was such a huge distraction in my day, picking up my iPhone to check my notifications quickly turned into a 'quick scroll' through Pinterest (my beloved) or Instagram, which was constantly detrimental to my studies. In overview, I'm having a good time and I'm excited to stick with it, especially as winter break approaches (TWO MORE FINALS LEFT LETS GO) and I have a ton of free time I would have spent on my phone. I'm excited to start reading more!

[mountain-lion-gremlin]

I know I've been hella active today, but here's something to think about:

I have struggled for years to find other physical shifters, and I either find a p-shifter who just randomly mentions to me while we are talking that they are a p-shifter, or I meet people who are "supposedly" p-shifters, but have never said it.

I've noticed this trend, especially with really p-shifters. We are very quiet. We arent going to walk around screaming at the top of our lungs and crying out that we can teach p-shifting most of the time, because one, it's super stressful to many, and two, being a physical shifting flocks SO MANY beginners who just want to skip everything else and want to know how to p-shift, NOW.

I would say it's a red flag to see anyone talking about how they can teach others to p-shift. Definently ask questions, but dont invalidate. I teach when people ask, but talk about only my experiences, and others. It's important to remember, specifically for me, I am talking out of experience only, so I can be biased, wrong, and everyone should always take my advice with a grain of salt. Because I dont know better, and I'm just a random person on the internet.

And I guess I dont really get why people think that p-shifters are so bad, because we are still beings with a consciousness and feelings too. Most of the time, p-shifters who are genuinely diabolical or terrible people are just bad people.

I will say though, I've attempted p-shifting a few times, but I have yet to fully mental shift and physically shift, so I dont have much advice on p-shifting in general.

All in all, I'm just trying to say that p-shifters are just trying to exist, and I'm not going to yell loud and proud about it because I dont want to be blocked by others just because of the stereotype type attached to the p-shifter label. It's basically a death sentence to have the p-shifter label attached to your account, because of how horrible people have been under that title in the past. Using it as a 'shield' of sorts to get away with terrible acts. The label I use does not express the views I hold, nor my actions, and I hate that it's like this out in the wild, wild west of the internet.

That's all, I did say that this post was something to think about. Apparently I've been super naive to literally everything, being so sheltered on Amino. Man that place is dusty, theres so much going on here.

And I'm not here to cause issues or make a debate, just here to talk about this stuff! This blog is about shapeshifting and such, so I'm here to educate (if requested), share my identity and my experiences, and take a break from posting on my Amino. These are just lower-quality posts for my amino, and I just don't feel like it atm.

Feel free to ask questions anytime in my inbox, and thank you for reading <3

[eziojensenthe3rd]

Midnight Gaming: The Legend of Wario Flow

So I played The Legend of Zelda and Warios Woods on NES, checked socials later to find.... Xbox are laying off 650 employees...*sigh*

Theres really not much I can say about this other than its shit, the gaming industry is shit and that all the recent layoffs will straight up kill anyones desire to pursue game development as a career. So i'll just link the article and include a couple of dracula flow bits to brighten this post up.

"Picked up a transistor down at SoCal, she had a license for that concealed carry, thotty was packin a dirty harry bitchstick, she walkin funny with that big iron by her hip. Shorty pulled a gock on me, I gave her nuts a bizarre adventure, running a dempsey roll on her sack, i'm like pussy on them yarns. Went Fist of the North Star on them balls, left her cumming troughs for a month.

We out here huffing boyass, gettin fucked up on turdghosts, got shit on my mind. Bro barely got hair on that ass, feels like i'm frenching Homer J, Simpson, going full tootsie pop on that Elmer Fudd. I'm out here chasing bussy like tom and jerry, running 90 over the speed limit on that roadkill ass. I'm clapping these cheeks like the 2011 tohoku earthquake. I'm beyond balls deep, my lower abdomen is just straight up colonising his rectal cavity, got me running a 100-meter dash on that backyard gash. I'm in deep shit in that manhole, his grandkids wont be shitting for a week."

Alright thats enough of that, lets talk about games.

So i've been partial to the Zelda series with Ocarina being my first, then Wind Waker followed by Twilight Princess, skipped Skyward and played some Breath of the wild. So last nights session looked to be a good time to try the first game out and try to play it proper.

So firsts thing first. How many kids when they first played this missed out on the cave on the first screen, ran around without a sword and died to the enemies? I'm genuinly curious because I can imagine that being more than zero.

The sword blast you start off with at full health, its definitely useful as an early ranged attack but you end up losing it as soon as you take damage which you will because it seems like nearly every enemy in the overworld attack with projectiles, and it does get real irritating from getting to one side of the map to the next just to get to where you need to go, you will take a hit or two along the way.

Now you can block the projectiles but that requires facing them and not using any item otherwise you take damage and i've ended up eating hits I figure should've been blocked.

I managed to find and beat two of the first dungeons but had trouble finding the 3rd. I instead found both the penultimate and the final dungeon instead and did not have the skills nor abilities to beat those early on. The thing about figuring out where you need to go, its usually hidden in some cave with an old man telling you something cryptic. I know this seems moot since you can just look it up online but I dont think thats a valid form of criticism, like yeah I can look up where I need to go but shouldnt I rely on the game itself to lead me subtly to where I need to progress?

Well it didnt seem to matter since I started to debate doing that since running around the overworld, trying to find that 3rd dungeon while constantly getting shot at, hering that damn theme over and over that while it is iconic, just starts to become real grating after a while, ended up leaving me with a headache.

I did not want be negative to this game but after a while, I just said forget it and switched to something else. The last 1st party game released for the NES, Warios Woods.

Its a strange idea for puzzle game, starring Toad facing off against Wario by clearing colored mobs using same colored bombs. And the controls can be a bit... finicky? You can pick up mobs and bombs or even kick them forward, if your not carrying anything you can run up a line of mobs/bombs to climb over them. Every so often birdo(who is also here for reasons) is switched out for wario who will spawn more mobs and bring the ceiling further down before leaving. I was able to make progress in game A to Round 20 before I stopped, in some cases if I end up picking up the wrong thing, it becomes a hassle to reorient myself while bombs keep raining down.

Switched to game B and made it to Round 20 again tho for Game B you can occasionally face a boss who will usually just spawn mobs and change location with you needing to clear a line above or below them to damage them. I decided to tap out when I got past midnight and fulfilled my quota.

You know? Why was Wario briefly associated with bombs? Between this game and Bomberman GB/Wario Blast, its the only time we got a glimpse at Wario during his Unabomber arc before he eventually became the microgame ceo we know him now. Food for thought I suppose.

Thank you for reading Midnight Gaming. Feel free to leave feedback or game suggestions. Anons are currently on. See you tomorrow.