#there are some transformers sketches in there so tagging it just in case???

[4ce160]

Ajfhskfhsfks I'm tired, I made the mistake of going through my procreate app as I used to draw mostly on the iPad before losing my Apple pen, and?? holy shit I drew a ton

It's weird to look back at as I've had this perpetual artblock ever since starting university (it's the caffeine :pensive_: ), and my memory's the worst so some of these I don't actually remember making, but still?? Most of these are from 2019 - 2021-ish??. There are more but I can't be bothered to do multiple posts I'm going to sleep-

The first ones are a bunch of earlier versions of the OC that'd eventually become 4. I think I made them in 2019 - 2020 (???). Definitely heavily inspired by hyper light drifter in hindsight

The next ones are a bunch of older transformers doodles, most of them are inspired by whack dreams I've had (the last two are just me trying to figure out how to draw Highbrow though lmao)

[tealfloyd]

THE REVERSED CINDERELLA TALE

“I’m sorry MC, but you can’t go to the ball~”

SUMMARY: NRC decides to host a ball in collaboration with RSA, but our dear prefect is not invited. Yet, the night of the ball, something strange happens… (Everyone + Neige and Che’nya x Fem!Reader)

WARNINGS: None, I believe)?

CONTENT: Ortho's part is platonic. Crowley being an ass, but like, it was unintentional, really. As I said, this is pretty long, mostly because it has every character separately, plus 20+ barbie dress transformation. WORDS: 9K+

A/N: I still feel bad since I lost all the content I had before, but it’s okay, I’m glad I saved everything separately because if I didn’t… I wouldn’t be uploading this in the first place.

Also, if you want to use this as inspiration for sketches, go on! I remembered a certain comment which asked for permission, and I certainly don't mind! Now onto the fic~

Crowley really has the worst timing.

You were just about to drink a vase of water, throat dry because you passed the whole day with the first years. That’s when the door opened, leaving you to almost drop the cup, your reflexes making it possible.

“Crowley! What the hell!?” You whisper yelled, looking at Grim turning in the sofa, far away in his dreamland.

It wasn’t unusual for the kind headmaster to show up with such… Theatrics, but this was certainly a new and unwelcomed entrance.

“I apologise for the sudden intrusion, but there’s has been an incident!” He exclaimed, and you shushed him, leading him to whisper his next sentence. “You see, the ball of Royal Sword Academy and Night Raven College is near its due date…”

Indeed, the ball featuring both of the most prestigious schools in Twisted Wonderland was drawing near; it started as a friendly way to make their students socialize, soon turning into a way to exhibit who had the most graceful gentleman.

“Yeah, and? I thought everything was fine, Che’nya told me this morning that the arrangements were almost done."

“Me and the Royal Sword Academy headmaster have gotten some complaints indicating that we should not allow you or Grim assist to the ball due to your dorm not being an official part of the school." Ah, so that was the reason of the nervous tone. “I would refuse, but the grievances come from certain parents with high status and—"

You interrupted. “Don’t worry Crowley, it’s understandable that you don’t want to make such powerful enemies. Grim on the other hand…” You spared a glance at the sleeping being, already imagining what kind of reaction he would have.

“I appreciate your understanding, yet that’s not what I wanted to discuss."

“Huh?”

“Some of your friends know about this, and I’m afraid they’re… How can I say this…? A little erratic."

You sighed, knowing exactly what the meant by that. “Are you scared of them?”

“Me? Of course not! I’m the headmage! But it would be helpful if you intervened."

“They can’t be that bad, I’ll go talk to them."

Oh, it can be that bad. Not overblot case bad, but it’s much more chaotic than you thought it would be.

You walked towards the dining hall, place where all of them got the news. You felt bad for the other students who had to run away because of the outburst.

Once you enter the hall, there was only a way you can describe the situation: encasing every reaction in a specific group.

First, we have the erratic behaviour, as Crowley mentioned earlier: students who are enraged because you cannot go to the ball. Here we have Ace, Deuce, Riddle, Leona, Floyd, Vil, Epel, Malleus and Sebek. Some are just snappy, such as Leona or Vil, and Riddle is trying to not let the anger overcome him. The rest are tagged as official menaces.

The second is the quiet group, the scariest of them all. Even if you tried, you can’t fathom what their expressions are hiding, exuding an eerie aura that has everyone shivering. The most students of this group are Azul, Jade, Rook, Idia and Lilia, the most dangerous combination to ever exist.

The last but not least group is the one that has every sane person, and the ones that are near sanity. They are so busy trying to control the furious trope that they don’t realise why they’re mad in the first place. Trey, Cater, Ruggie, Jack, Kalim, Jamil, Ortho and Silver are the ones in this category.

You yelled as loud as you could in order to gain their attention, everyone’s head turning when recognising the familiar voice.

“What’s going on here!?”

“MC/Prefect!” They jolted, abruptly stopping dead in their tracks.

“I thought Crowley was exaggerating when he told me that you were, and I quote, erratic, but this is absurd!” You whined in annoyance, not believing the scene in front of you, much less believing the reason behind it.

“Ah, well, this was just, uh…” Ace was trying to find the correct words to not make you angrier, eyes evading yours as you send him a cold glare.

“We were practicing for, uh…!” Deuce’s desperation showed up in order to think of an excuse, and you had enough of it.

“Do you think I’m dumb?” The bitter words came out as venom, not only being directed at the young boy but at everyone, seeing how you shared your discontent look with all of them. “Is this because of the ball?”

There was a brief silence before it was cut off again by Malleus.

“Child of Man, I think that this decision is an act of unfairness towards you," his comment made way to other ones, clearly displeased with the agreement.

“You have done so much for this school!” Kalim blurted out.

“It’s an improper choice after all the effort you’ve put, since this event is for congratulating students for their excelling performances," Jade remarked, slight annoyance in his voice.

Soon, the hall was filled with different arguments, and yet again, you had to yell.

“Guys, I know that it may be unfair, but I’m okay with it; you all could get expelled for doing this!” More than anger, your voice was full of concern, worried because of their impulsive actions.

“Shrimpy, aren’t you upset?” Floyd tilted his head, not comprehending why you weren’t showing any strong emotion at the news.

“Certainly Mademoiselle, you must feel at least the slightest bit offended, don’t you?” Rook asked, also tilting his head.

“What I think about it doesn’t matter, the decision it’s made and there’s nothing else to do other than accept it, and you must do the same," you sighed, all the stress leaving your body with that long exhale. “You shouldn’t make a fuss over this; there will be other events I can participate to."

“And what if there aren’t any ‘other events’?” The abrupt question coming from Leona made you think, and after some seconds you chuckled.

“If that’s the case then I guess I can always make my own," your quick response had everyone gasp in cuteness, some were more dramatic than others cough Cater cough, but the gasp was there.

“My, is this an angel speaking to us?” Lilia said, his teasing tone having you think it was a joke, which it wasn’t.

“Less talk, more work." And with that note, the students were forced to start their cleaning duties, not really minding it since you were there.

While you were picking up some broken pieces of wood, an idea came to your mind, making you do a soft smile as you thought about the outcome.

ONE WEEK LATER

The ball day was here, and everyone was shining in their own lights, their tuxedos matching their distinctive colours as they added some characteristic details to it.

The week after the incident, everything was pretty chill; they reluctantly agreed to leave the topic alone to please you, switching it to their fashion choices or practicing some basic dance moves.

You were greatly surprised when seeing them all before the event, cheering them up as you told them that they looked handsome, making some of the boy’s blush. “I hope you enjoy the ball!”

You bid them goodbye, making sure everyone was out of sight so you could return to Ramshackle, home to the angry creature named Grim.

“How can they not invite the great Grim to their boring party!? That’s unacceptable!” You laughed at his antics, caressing his fur to soothe his ire.

“Should I remind you that I was also excluded?” He let out a cute groan, curling into your lap to comfort himself.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever ya’ say henchman. By the way, why’re ya’ using that dress?” He lazily signalled the simple gown you were wearing, closing his eyes when you reached an icky spot.

“I don’t know, I saw it at Sam’s and decided to buy it, does it look bad?”

“I didn’t say that. It’s just weird you’re using it now…”

Both you and Grim decided to get out of Ramshackle, sitting on the shore of the pond that was near the old building, the quiet and magical atmosphere worth the outing.

Grim’s soft snores were heard in the solitude of the forest, some fireflies appearing to make the scene look like it came straight out of a painting.

“Am I upset?” You asked yourself, quoting the words from last week.

Truthfully, you did care about not being invited to the ball. Your excitement vanished the moment the headmaster started explaining why you couldn’t assist.

You started to wonder if that meant that your efforts were going to be unappreciated, until you remembered that they weren't. The friends you made here made you feel at home, even though most of them were sceptical about befriending you at first, oblivious to the fact that they started to look at you with heart eyes.

You started to sing a lullaby you constantly heard during your childhood, a calm harmony that brought you peace in moments like this, when you were about to cry out of confusion and sadness.

Your voice acted as anaesthesia for the little Grim, humming contently as you gently stood up, holding him like a baby as you started to dance around.

Unbeknown to you, a wandering fairy heard the enchanting lyric; her pointy ears perked up in curiosity as she approached slowly, her small form making it impossible for you to take notice of, too focused in your dancing solo.

The small, fantastic individual started to hum along. Deeming you as a friend, and not a threat, she closed the distance between you both, a giggle leaving her mouth as she sat on your shoulder, surprised when you didn’t saw her.

She stayed silent, lightly grasping the soft material of your dress so she wouldn’t fall, hearing in joy as you continued your lively tune.

Your steps were feather like, slowly spinning while leaving the forest, now strolling through the dark corridors of the academy. It may seem a little eerie seeing it as an outsider, but everything you could think of was the enchanting lyrics, the absence of light not resembling an issue as you resume the melodious piece.

It was a matter of time when you got to the giant ballroom, passing through an open door as you heard a lively composition that matched yours, smiling wider until you collided with someone.

You woke up from your trance, your previously calm state being replaced by worry as you bow to the person in front of you.

“I’m so sorry, it wasn’t my intention to…” You spared a quick glance at the boy’s face, mouth agape when realising who it was, the little fairy hiding as soon as she saw the unknown person. “Neige?”

“Ah! MC, I was looking for you!” Said the young boy, cheeks dusted of a light pink. “I was afraid you didn’t appear, but I’m so happy I found you!”

That woke up Grim, aside from all the chit chatter of the room.

“Nyah!? Henchman, where are we!?” He jumped off your arms, falling nose-first on the marble floor.

“I may have brought us while dancing…” You confessed, ashamed of not noting it sooner. “I’m sorry Neige, but we and Grim have to go before Crowley spots us."

“Not so fast! I want to check the food! With that amount I’m sure they won’t notice one or two dishes missing…” His mischievous smile threw you off guard, sighing at his intentions.

“Grim, come on, we can’t…”

“It would be a pleasure! The banquet is right there!” Said the naive boy, signalling a large table with lots of different dishes.

In less than a second, Grim was already there, filling his mouth with everything his little paws could hold on to.

“Grim!” The frustration was there, but you couldn’t show it, not wanting to make a scene, but you were certain that some students were already glancing your way.

The kind-hearted boy looked at you with pure adoration, trying his best to hide it as he took your hand in his; all while the little fairy, still hidden, tried to think about what she could do to help you.

NEIGE LEBLANCHE

The gown was sky blue, white grading in the top and sleeves with some yellow sparks. Your hair was now short, curled at the ends and portraying a red lace on the top, a cute bow placed on it.

“Actually, I’ve been meaning to ask you… Would you like to dance with me?”

“I guess I can, I’m already here, aren’t I?”

Dear, you just made Neige the happiest man alive. The dwarfs were in their way to talk with him, but when they noticed the huge smile that he portrayed, decided to keep their distance so you could have your perfect moment.

That was interrupted when he stopped, pointing at your dress that had changed abruptly. You were surprised, obviously, but there wasn’t a major reaction from you, since you’re in a world of magic after all. Him on the other hand was completely flustered, trying to think of a compliment as he kept dancing.

He’s a good dancer, but his steps resemble those of a child dancing, in a good way obviously, it’s pretty fun and refreshing to waltz with him.

Laughing time was over when a shout was heard, coming from a certain red hair.

 “Prefect!?” Yelled the first years, their loud scream attracting even more attention. You just hoped Crowley didn’t hear it; oh, well, he didn’t. But the others surely did.

And now you’re scared because Vil had a questioning look in his face. If he did saw the dance, may the Sevens let you rest in peace.

“Ah, hey guys!” You backed away from Neige, who in response pouted, sad at the loss of contact.

 “What are you doing here!?” They asked, a combination of confusion and excitement washing over them.

“I don’t know, I was enjoying my solitude, dancing alone and when I looked up, I was here, dressed like this," you slightly lifted the dress for emphasis, frowning when everyone shut up. “Uh, guys—?”

“Please dance with me!” Most of them screamed at once, having to cover your ears because it was so sudden and very much not appreciated.

And just like a week ago, that led to everyone argue about who should dance with you.

You were about to stop them again, but someone took advantage of the situation, bringing his hands to your waist.

CHE’NYA

The gown was of a light lilac, along with some stripes that were just a few shades apart, white sleeves added to the palette. Your hair was still short, but it changed the style to a light messy pixie cut with some mauve highlights.

“Isn’t this such an entertaining scenario, nya~?”

“I think is more of a dangerous scenario, incredible to think they’re fighting over such a stupid thing.”

Oh, MC, is that what you think of yourself? This is not a stupid thing, dancing with you is enough to make the most ferocious man drop on their knees, mesmerized by your beauty.

And he certainly would do that just by seeing you with a dress matching his attire. While you don’t know why or how this is happening, he’s grinning widely because you look so beautiful, the slightest shade of pink covering his cheeks as he throws some funny comments, lighting up the mood.

Dancing with him is amusing, to say the least, sometimes disappearing his body, leaving you to dance with a floating head.

Ace, the moment breaker, does his thing once again, his loud shrieks rivalling those of Sebek.

 “Ah, she’s dancing with the disappearing guy!” They all turned their heads, most of them having a vein about to pop up from the anger.

 “It seems that I’m not welcomed, but at least we will be together the next week, goodbye~!” And with that, he disappeared, again.

Remember that scene when Rapunzel was calming Maximus down? That was the exact thing you had to do with the most enraged students, thanking the unwanted dress for acting as a distractor.

“If you care that much about dancing with me, I can dance with all of you, only if you promise that you would not cause more mess; I’m already walking on a thin line just by being here."

Silence. You tapped your foot impatiently at that.

“Promise that you would not cause more mess," it was more of a demand than a request, but it worked when they all repeated your words, humming in approval.

“Great, so who’s the first?”

Quickly realising your mistake, you spoke again before everything reverted to a few minutes ago. “Wait, maybe it would be better to do this by dorm order. Which means that Heartslabyul will go first."

It was then when the troublemakers of said dorm started to dispute over who should dance with you first; Ace proclaimed that he should because he met you first, and Deuce responded by exposing his terrible behaviour towards you the first time you met.

Tired of this, you grabbed Ace’s hand, being the first pick because, well, both Ace and Deuce were right.

ACE TRAPPOLA

The gown was of a cheerful ruby colour, the sleeves were wine and since it was Heartslabyul inspired, had a chess design along with some hearts in the skirt. Your hair was tied in a loose braid, a heart shaped accessory placed in the side.

“Are you that excited to dance with me, Prefect?”

“Deuce was right, you were the first nuisance I met, I thought it was obvious.”

He groaned in embarrassment, recalling the awful treatment he had with you, wishing it would have gone somewhat different.

When he was about to change the subject when your dress changed yet again. You said that that probably was going to happen all night, and that he shouldn’t pay attention to this Barbie style transition.

He definitely doesn’t know what is a Barbie, but he refuses to not pay attention to the dress, teasing you about it, trying to make you blush. That’s where the tables turned and you teased him, making him blush. Great, you broke Ace.

He dances in a messy manner, but he can be serious when he wants to, so I would say it’s a 50/50 final rating.

Sighing at this, you decided it was time to change partners, leaving his hands so you could grab Deuce’s ones. Expect him to be more annoying, maybe even sending Deuce some threatening glares.

DEUCE SPADE

The gown was navy blue, in its majority, a few hints of cerulean peeking up the skirt, the same chess design with some deuces in the corset. Your hair had a bun, it was loose but it didn’t look messy, just a few strands of hair that were out, along with a deuce hairpin.

“You… You look beautiful, Prefect."

“Thank you Deuce, you also look handsome, but… Your face is very red."

It’s because he wasn’t prepared for this. Did his mother tell him what to do when dancing with a girl whose dress magically changes every time she changes partners? No, he’s sure she’s not.

As a fun fact, Deuce’s mother sensed something was going on with her son; when Deuce told her what happened, words couldn’t describe how happy she got.

When he does notice the dress, he stays still, not moving for a few seconds until you bring him back to earth, worried about his sudden redness. MC, please, you’re going to kill the poor boy.

His mother tried to teach him how to dance a few times, so he isn’t that inexperienced as one would think, but the problem is that he’s dancing with you, and that makes things complicated.

He doesn’t know if he should feel relieved or sad when you move to continue dancing with Cater. Maybe both, but it’s not like he can’t say something, he still respects his upperclassman even though he wanted to keep dancing with you.

CATER DIAMOND

The gown was of a bright tangerine, a soft shade of red covering the sleeves. A pattern of diamonds was outlined in the corset, subtly placed on it so it wasn’t too flashy. Your hair resembled his, the top part tied back into a ponytail and the rest hanged straight, curling at the ends.

“If I posted this on Magicam, a lot of people will get super jealous of you!”

“As if, I’m pretty average, I don’t know why someone will get jealous of me."

Your kindness, tolerance, intelligence, looks, should he keep going? There’s a ton of reasons people will envy you, and he means that as a good thing, really; in his eyes you’re the most stunning person to ever exist.

And apparently you can change clothes magically, we can add that to the list as well.

His dancing is playful, but he’s fairly skilled, talking about random things while he swiftly moves one feet after the other.

He resists the impulse of taking his phone out and taking selfies non-stop, not wanting to disturb you or weird you out in such a moment, when in reality you’re pretty chill about it. If only he knew about it, he would have had thousands of pictures of you and your dazzling self.

He only does it when it’s time to swap, posing with you as he takes a quick snap, posting it with the hashtags: #ballroomprincess #howjusthow #thebeautyandthebeauty, and so on.

TREY CLOVER

The gown was pine, the dark shade of green matching with Trey’s. It seemed to be more nature-like, clovers all around it. Your hair was asymmetrical, and it barely touched your shoulders, looking a little spiky, yet it still looked stylish.

“I thought you weren’t allowed to come here. Did Grim drag you, perhaps?"

“It’s a long story, but Grim’s the one that made me stay; by the end of the night there will probably be no food left to eat though."

Which is a shame because he prepared a few desserts, Che’nya suggestion, and he wanted you to try some of them specially to see your sparkling eyes as you took bite after bite. Oh well, it would have to wait until Heartslabyul’s next tea party.

But it seems he’s gotten a new sight, you in a dress that magically changed and it’s now matching with him. He doesn’t ask about it, letting himself enjoy this brief moment with you.

He’s a good dancer, and his tall figure makes him look elegant while he waltzes with you, the atmosphere breaking when you switch to a huffing Riddle.

He sighs, leaving your hand so it would take his dorm leader’s. He starts to wonder how he can pass more time with you, maybe a baking date session would make you accept.

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS

The gown is scarlet and white, hints of black but mostly to softly outline the roses and the hearts placed on it, looking fairly fancier than the other ones, like his dorm uniform. Your hair was in a bun, velvety like for the little crown that was on top to stay still.

“I… I’m surprised to see you here, Prefect."

“I was surprised as well, but you get accustomed to it… Ah, Riddle, are you alright?”

He can’t control the blush that creeps up his face. He nods, wanting to look at you in the eyes, yet he can’t help but feeling flustered when you tilt your head in confusion, trying to make eye contact.

Sevens, his mother would be so disappointed at this, what would she say if she found her son wasn’t following proper ball manners? And then he remembers that his mother isn’t there, only you, knowing that you didn’t really care about those in the first place, and he doesn’t know if he should feel relieved or frustrated.

When he sees the dress, he stops dancing for a few moments before continuing, finding the explanation weirder than the dress itself. But he has a limited amount of time and he prefers spending it dancing than trying to find the reasoning of this; even he’s surprised by this thought too.

As said before, his mother taught him how to waltz, so he has experience doing it. Now when it comes to the part of actually dancing… He needs to polish it a little, but the knowledge is there.

Speaking of which, he knows it’s over when you have to shift partners, Leona being the next one. His snarky grin he sends at him is almost enough for him to explode, Trey noticing this and immediately trying to calm him down. Perhaps he can include some ball elements to some of his tea parties, definitely not to spend those with you, no no yes.

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR

The gown is of a sand colour, golden details all over it to make it look like it was a royal dress; a satin, brown scarf placed elegantly on your arms. A braided chignon hairstyle made it easier to carry a golden tiara on it.

“You really like being in trouble, huh? I didn’t think you would sneak here, herbivore."

“I like to think that since I come here, I’ve became a Jack in the Box full of surprises, don’t you agree?”

Sure you are, not only you sneaked in here, but you also sneaked your way into your heart. He’s not stupid, and he won’t say you are, but what he can say it’s that you are pretty dense. Well, in your defence, you do know he treats women differently, so how are you supposed to guess the fondness he shows at you?

This is one of the few, rare moments where you get to see a shocked Leona, his eyes widening at remodelling of your dress, tail swinging in glee. You really are a box full of surprises, aren’t you? He doesn’t know what he should say, choosing to stay quiet, enjoying the calmness that you made him feel.

He would never say out loud though. At least, not now.

He has a royal background, so it makes sense that he knows at least the slightest bit of dancing manners, and he shows that while waltzing with you.

The moment doesn’t last long as you start to back up from him in a strange manner, and his eyes soon found out the reason why. He growls at this, that hyena is going to pay it off for the next days. Either way, he would have done it even if he didn’t intervene.

RUGGIE BUCCHI

The gown is of a dark fawn, blonde highlights in the neckline. Compared to Leona’s, this was more wild-like, giving a light, rustic impression. Your hair had a back Dutch braid, the mid-length complementing the whole look.

“Hey, Prefect, didn’t expect to see you here. And to imagine that everyone made a fuss 'bout this, shi shi shi~”

“Yeah, I think everybody thinks the same here. There wasn’t really need for you to use your unique magic, I think Leona got mad at it."

Effectively, he got mad at it and because he stole you. Fair enough, he thinks he can endure a few days of Leona’s working, that meant he got to see you more than him since he would be running his errands.

When he saw the dress, oh boy, man was trying so hard to not blush. The only way to prevent that was by teasing you; just make sure to don’t tease him back, he doesn’t think he can’t handle it.

He knows how to dance, so he’s pretty fluent when waltzing with you, making some accidental mistakes so you would step closer to him. That backfires when you cheekily laugh, and the blush he tried to contain creeped up his face.

Just when he thought you were going to see it, you released him, and he was left holding nothing as you giggled at this reaction, now dancing with his underclassman. He frowned but didn’t want to make you mad by using the same tactic, so he let it be.

JACK HOWL

The gown was pearl, similar to the one you were using earlier except that this one was fancier. The skirt had some light golden designs, a few hints of black on it to contrast. Your hair was tied in a classy ponytail, fluffy and shiny, much like his fur when he’s in his wolf form.

“You could get in trouble for being here, don’t you know that?”

“I’m sorry, do you want me to go?”

Short answer, no. Long answer, he’s very happy that you’re here, literally everyone can tell just by looking at his tail, wagging uncontrollably. If you try to say something about it, he will deny it, even though it’s still wagging.

He can’t dance that well, but he’s trying, and that’s what counts. Besides, it’s not that noticeable, maybe a few stomps on your feet but nothing too serious.

This dress causes him to leave a quiet gasp, mouth agape for a few seconds until his mind tells him that he should ask you why and what was that transformation. You respond sincerely, telling him that you don’t know and that he should just ignore it.

Like hell he’ll be ignoring this, it’s not something you can so easily ignore, but for the sake of his dignity, he will try. Keyword try, begging that you don’t start to ask questions about his state.

Apparently, you heard his pleads, muttering a little ‘goodbye’ as you now danced with Octavinelle’s sly, but nervous, octopus. He sighs, he didn’t mean it like this, but it was something that was meant to happen soon or later. More soon than later.

AZUL ASHENGROTTO

The gown was of a greyish cloud colour, platinum adornments on it that make it look elegant, even though it seemed to approach more of a softer side. A waterfall braid embellishing the 'marine' style look.

“My, if it isn’t the Prefect. I’m greatly surprised to see you here, and I also see you’ve made some major changes in your attire."

“Those aren’t intentional. I swear I don’t know where they’re coming from, but they’re nice, I think."

Nice? That’s how you would describe them? Your sole being is enough for him to lose his businessman composure, and now you do this, this… How did you call it? Barbie transition? No, he wasn’t hearing the conversation you had with Ace, what are you implying?

He’s already having a hard time to not let his façade break down, afraid that you may not like him if he showed any weakness, and that’s when he saw the dress, now matching his outfit. Although he still is smiling, what gives him away is the huge blush and his subtle coughing, trying to convince himself that he can still talk to you normally, like every other day.

Until he remembers that you don’t usually talk while waltzing, and that is enough for him to sigh in relief, now focusing in not stepping over your feet because of his nervousness.

He knows how to dance, it’s just because of the nerves and the feeling of your curious eyes staring up at him.

A tall figure places himself next to him, and he doesn’t need to look up to know who is, slightly refusing to let you go. Yet he knows that it would not end well for him; the mischievous eel would definitely use this as teasing material. He figures he can make a dance night in the Lounge, only you and him.

JADE LEECH

The gown was teal, and it seemed to be made of a shiny material, some purple laces tied on it as it had a tight and long bow on the left side. You portrayed a half up left side braid, clearly resembling his long streak of dark-grey hair framing his left side.

“You look marvellous tonight, Prefect; may it be because of your presence or your magical dress?”

“Very funny. Obviously, it’s the dress. The one that I didn’t know had magical properties when I bought it, but thanks for noting my presence."

Wrong. The dress certainly was a boost to your natural charming nature, but saying that was the only cause of your fascinating self would be an understatement, after all, the main thing Jade and Floyd finds fascination in is how interesting is the person in question, and for him to have romantic feelings for you? With that you can already imagine what he thinks of you.

He waits for the moment your dress changes, and when it does he leaves an amused chuckle. But surprisingly enough, he doesn’t say anything about it, rather enjoying your reactions at it and your comforting company.

He excels at dancing, even making it more difficult for you to keep the pace, and yet again an entertained noise leaves his mouth. He slows down a little, not wanting to exhaust you, as your next partner would be his energetic twin.

Speaking of the devil, he can’t wait for much longer, whining to you both that he wants to dance with you. He leaves no room for complaints, and so you are separated from Jade, who finds this situation more than lively. If Azul ever decides to tell him about his idea of the dance night in the Lounge, he would be more than delighted to share some of his suggestions.

FLOYD LEECH

This gown was the twin of Jade's, also teal and shiny, the purple bow now sided on the right, now messier and easy looking. Your hair is, again, in a half up right-side braid. Similar to the concept of the dark-grey streak of hair on his right side.

“Shrimpy~! Why didn’t you tell me that you were here? We could have passed more time together~!”

“Sorry Floyd, my mind was a bit of a mess before I got here. But I’m here now, doesn’t that make you happy?”

He lets out a cute: "yay~!" And you are wondering how someone can be so adorable and so frightening at the same time, as his pout quickly disappeared after your kind-hearted question.

He has the same train thought that his brother, and waits for your dress to change. He’s a little disappointed when he sees it at first, I mean, doesn’t it look the same? Until he notices those small details that allure to his right side highlight, and his smile widens so much you can even see his back teeth.

His Shrimpy surely knows how to make him happy! How is he supposed to stop smiling so widely when you can become more interesting by the second? Be warned, this man wouldn’t let you in peace after this, but that applies to almost everything that you do, because for him everything you do can be interesting. Even if they’re not, he would make them interesting just by joining you.

His dancing is… Different. It’s not ballroom dance, that’s for sure, but why should he follow such boring rules when he can have fun spinning you? And you agree to some level, but your stomach doesn’t.

He pouts when you try to change, expressively refusing to let you go. He only agrees to when you say you would pass more time with him after, most likely hovering over you the rest of the night. A true Octavinelle student.

KALIM AL ASIM

The gown was of a really light and shiny yellow, almost looking like it was made of gold, softly transitioning to a silver white in the sleeves and neckline. Your hair had a braided crown, a turban like his slightly covering it.

“I’m glad you’re here Prefect! I was going to throw a ball for you since I thought you would miss this one!”

“There’s no need for that Kalim, but I appreciate the gesture. You’re very sweet."

You think he’s sweet?

Now nothing is stopping him now from actually throwing a ball in your honour. He usually doesn’t think much when it comes to give you gifts and hosting parties for you, no selfish intention behind it, but if this makes you say that he’s sweet again? He doesn’t have any second thoughts about it, much to Jamil’s annoyance.

When he sees the dress he exclaims a loud ‘wow’, like really loud, he even stops dancing for a couple of seconds because of the initial shock. He didn’t know you could do this, MC, this is awesome! Oh, you didn’t do it? It doesn’t matter, it’s still awesome and nothing can change his mind.

He knows how to dance, and surprisingly, he takes it seriously. His steps are firm, contrasting with his saccharine smile.

He sees Jamil aside, a slight frown as he keeps his gaze locked on the floor, and he decides it’s time to change partners, making you do a twirl and practically throwing you at Jamil’s arm, giving him a thumbs up. He can dance with you later when you come to Scarabia, and by later is tomorrow! He’s just too excited!

JAMIL VIPER

The gown was black, little touches of a flaming red on it, mostly placed on the sleeves to emphasize a fire-like emblem, a golden snake tracing your waist gracefully. A braided bun with a large lock of hair standing on the side of your face, similar to his.

“Aren’t you tired? I’m sure all this dancing is exhausting for you."

“I’m fine, this is better than watching soap operas alone while Grim sleeps. His snores are so loud I can’t enjoy the drama."

Watching what? We all know Jamil isn’t much of a trendy and he doesn’t follow the latest entertainment, so he’s confused when you explain this to him. That doesn’t mean he isn’t intrigued, maybe if he wasn’t so busy he could watch this soap operas with you, only if you want to though; his worst nightmare is making you uncomfortable.

The transition has him even more confused, and he hopes he had his hoodie right now to hide his face in it, not wanting to embarrass himself in front of you because of that stupid cute blush. He asks about it, and he sighs when you told him the story we already know, already expecting something like this, it’s you who we’re talking about after all.

He’s an A+ dancer, and the great thing about dancing with him is that he understands you can’t follow his moves and accustoms to your moves, making you feel at ease and welcomed.

When he spins you, Pomefiore’s house warden takes your hand in his, now taking the position as your current partner. He leaves a bothered noise, awkwardly staring at you and the Magicam star.

VIL SCHOENHEIT

The gown was black, a violet robe placed on it in a similar fashion like Vil's, the most outstanding feature being its length. Your hair had a side French braid up-do, a tilted golden tiara on it.

“It seems that you’ve finally taken my fashion suggestion, potato."

“The answer may disappoint you, Vil, but this is not my doing. Although it’s fancy, it can’t rival yours."

He can’t agree with that; sure, he’s dressed elegantly and his makeup is perfectly done, but that doesn’t mean you’re inferior than him. You’re one of the few people that don’t have the title of potato in his head, even though he has it like a nickname for you, but he sees it as an endearing term and he low-key hopes you see it as well. He never really understood the concept of inner beauty before meeting you, now getting its meaning.

Vil’s a professional actor, so he only shows the slightest hint of surprise when your dress changes. His blush isn’t a noticeable one, and even if it was, he could have just said that it was a new product, knowing you would believe him. He finds your naïve nature confusing; Neige is naïve, and that bothers him, because he’s Neige, but when it comes to you is just… Endearing.

You’ve practiced with him quite a few times, using it as an excuse to see you since he was pretty busy with the clothing arrangement the week prior to the ball, not really expecting to actually dance with you.

You spot the astute hunter behind him; deciding it was time to change, he reluctantly released you, his face betraying as he scoffed at this, softly enough so you wouldn’t hear it.

ROOK HUNT

The gown was of an iris purple, a short, red cape hovering over your shoulders, looking a lot like a hunter's cape, a black neckline completing the Pomefiore’s colour palette. Your hair was wavy, bob styled, matching with Rook's.

“Quelle beauté! Your beauty is nothing I can ever compare, for it is so endearing that my heart flutters at this magnifique sight!”

“Wow, I… I don’t know what to say— Thank you, Rook. That’s one of the most beautiful things you’ve said to me, and I encounter you every single day."

You really think so? Then you should listen to his poetry; dozens of poems dedicated solely to you placed neatly in his drawer, ready for you to read them, or, even better, he can read them to you! He recites them every time he thinks about you, so he knows them by heart.

He’s great at acting, but why should he act when he’s genuinely happy of having you this close? He doesn’t see the appeal in it, he wants you to see how much appreciation he has for you, continuing to spill carefully planned comments, even forgetting about the fact that your dress has just magically transformed. The hovering attention has you stuttering, and he leaves a content sigh at your reaction, basking in your cuteness.

He’s the vice dorm leader of Pomefiore, he knows how to dance, and his gracefulness is something you did expect from him, so there’s no surprises in this part.

He doesn’t put a fight when you have to switch to your next partner, only making a dramatic sight and saying something corny like: "may fate reunite us again." Rook, you’re going to see MC tomorrow, calm down.

EPEL FELMIER

The gown was lavender, an apple red cloak covering your bare shoulders, the interior being of a velvety black. Your hair was tied in a low, twisted ponytail, some golden apple hairpins on the side.

“Ya’ look very pretty… I mean, you look great, Prefect!”

“Thank you Epel, but you know that you don’t have to hide the accent when you’re with me, right?”

He forgets how thoughtful you are, how he doesn’t have to act like the perfect boy Vil wants him to be, and how you don’t think of him as weak just because of his feminine looks. He’s thankful for that— Correction, he’s thankful for you.

He maybe in Pomefiore, but he has no acting skills, backing off you for a few seconds because of the surprise, immediately recovering from it upon seeing your confused expression. He didn’t mean it as a bad reaction, he saw it before, but he still doesn’t know why or how you do this, only to receive the explanation that you aren’t the one changing your dress, jokingly telling him that if you could do that you wouldn’t be broke. Sad facts, MC, sad facts.

He’s an average dancer. He’s had so many, so many classes with Vil graved in his skull, but not on his body, so he constantly looks at his feet and even like that he makes some mistakes, but nothing you can’t correct.

It was hard to switch partners this time, only because Ignihyde’s gloomy dorm leader was hidden in the crowd. When you did spot him, you had to make your best try at making it as smooth as possible, waving Epel goodbye, who in return waved you as well, being too nervous to actually protest.

IDIA SHROUD

The gown was indigo, the dark colour combining both of Ignihyde's characteristic style, adding some sapphire elements so it would look a little more "futuristic". Your hair had a classic half up-do, the volume matching with Idia's flame hair.

“How did you—? Forget it, of course it’s something the main character would do."

“Aww, you think I’m the main character?”

And now his hair is combusting into pink flames. Good job MC.

He can’t believe he actually lived long enough to see you like this, and what’s worse better, you spotted him and wanted to dance with him. Is there some kind of manual for situations like this?

Maybe he should ask in a forum. Wait, is something he can actually ask? There’s a ton of questions and no answers, but those thoughts disappear when seeing you change of dress and hairstyle yet again.

His dancing skills are… Non-existing. This man doesn’t dance. You have to guide him in the entire waltz, and it’s difficult because he’s standing there, officially classifying as a rock.

You see his younger brother besides, and you can’t help but changing with him, wanting to have a bonding moment with the little boy. Idia froze in place, mind racing with thoughts of what could he have done to scare you— Oh, you’re dancing with Ortho, now he’s at ease.

ORTHO SHROUD

This one was a short dress, knee-length; it was lapis, layers of a translucent fabric covering the skirt, looking slightly lighter in colour. Your hair was simpler this time, a short and cute cut with a blue flame hair accessory.

“Hello MC! I’m happy you’re here, and thank you for dancing with my brother. He seems much livelier now!”

“Really? That’s nice to hear. Idia’s not the type to go to these events, so I’m happy if you both are happy!”

He knows about his brother’s crush on you, and honestly speaking, Idia’s the one that has a huge advantage against everyone else: He has a cute brother sorry Leech, you're cute too, but c'mon, he's Ortho who wants him to be happy. I’m sorry everyone, this is the truth.

This was actually pretty fun. His short height made it easier for you if you're tall, sorry, can't relate to dance with him, and although he’s a robot, he can dance fairly well, giggling when you spin him.

He stops and says that it’s time to switch, according to the data he’s recollected during the night, and because a dragon-fae is waiting just behind you.

MALLEUS DRACONIA

The gown was all black, the only other colour it had was a bright green, seen in the hem of the cape and the large lace that was tied in your waist. Your hair had a twisted royal bun, a dark crown over it with some black diamonds, outshining the hairstyle itself.

“You always manage to amuse me, Child of Man. May you join me in this dance?”

“Your old-fashioned talking amuses me too, Tsunotarou, so let me try… It would be a pleasure, noble gentleman."

The giggle that leaves your mouth after saying those words is music to his ears, holding you in such a fragile manner as if you were porcelain. When he does start waltzing, his eyes focus on yours and only yours; being with you like this makes him forget everything else, choosing to rather enjoy your presence and the warmth that it comes with it.

The dress does break his concentration, fixating his gaze on it for a few seconds before his eyes return to his initial position. It’s not that he doesn’t think you don’t look enchanting, you always do, but even if you wore a potato sack to the ball he would still think of you as his goddess. That’s how much he loves you.

He’s an exceptional dancer; he grew up in a royal environment after all, often practicing with his grandmother and Lilia, but he’s willing to slow down for you. And that’s when his mind wanders about dancing with you at night, the moonlight covering your smooth skin as you both dance till your feet hurt and— Where are you?

It seems he let himself out of guard and now you’re dancing with… His overseer. Did— Did Lilia just stole his Child of Man? DID LILIA JUST STOLE HIS CHILD OF MAN—?

He calms down, knowing that making a scene is considered rude, and so the only thing he can do is… Pout. So he’s now a sad and pouting dragon-fae.

LILIA VANROUGE

The gown was of an opaque magenta, the top being black with some leather belts tied on it. Your hairstyle was asymmetrical, mid-length with a resemblance to his own, some of it flipping upwards, looking like small horns.

“It’s endearing to see you here, dear. I was thinking of even bringing you with me~”

“Thank you for not doing it, I don’t think I can endure another flying session…”

That’s a shame, he loves when you cling onto him like your life depends on it, and it low-key does, but there’s nothing to worry about! He would never drop you or let you fall, not even him would joke like that.

He recognizes the type of magic that is causing this, and lo and behold he takes a glimpse at the hidden fairy behind you. He chuckles, not saying a thing to let the show continue, but he’s really intrigued by how you managed to get the attention of such a shy creature, soon remembering that of course it was attracted by you, everyone in this room could say the same.

He’s a good dancer, but he chooses to make it more fun by elevating you a few meters off the floor. You cling onto him, telling him to stop doing that as you slowly tried to reach the marble ground.

When it’s time to change, he spins you dramatically, and you fall right into the arms of the drowsy Diasomnia knight, who woke up at the sudden impact.

SILVER

The gown was white, some simple and silver patterns on it, maybe from a knight's armour. Your hair had a flower braid, specifically a rose, cascading down like a waterfall.

“Prefect…? Are you okay? You look a bit exhausted."

“I’m fine, Silver, sorry to wake you up this way, it wasn’t my intention."

He doesn’t mind if you are the one waking him up, and it’s not like this is the first time it has happened either; your clumsy friends always manage to make you fall, and conveniently for you, he’s there, be it catching you or cushioning your fall, but once again, he doesn’t mind.

If he’s being honest, he didn’t pay attention to the dress nor the hairstyle you were wearing at first, and how it magically transformed every time you changed partners, so this background leads him to make a baffled expression, mostly because he isn’t the greatest at showing emotions. He mutters some compliments, but the echoing walls don’t let you hear what he’s saying, much to his invisible frustration.

He’s a calm dancer, and it’s very much like dancing in a fairy forest, animals surrounding you as you continue to be invested in the harmonious waltz.

But that moment breaks when the last boy complains under his breath, probably because he was the only one that hadn’t had his dance with you, and with an apologetic smile, you go to him. He sighs, trying to stay awake, but failing at the end as his breathing regulates in his sleep.

SEBEK ZIGVOLT

The gown was lime, some parts had a darker green and others had subtle white highlights. Your hair was now straight, twirling slightly at the ends, which touched your covered neck.

“I’ll give my all in this dance, human!”

“I know, Sebek. You always give your all in everything you do~”

Are you trying to use the same tactics you’ve used to seduce Lord Malleus? That won’t work, human! He’s not weak to your charming smile and lovely eyes, he must stay alert to guard his master from any threats!

Less to say that is a terrible lie; he’s head over heels for you, but can’t express it, not even when the transformation happens for the last time, the enchanting dress and enticing hairstyle had him in a state of shock for five to ten seconds, and when he snaps out of it he wants aka sort of demands to know what’s the meaning of this. He shuts up after hearing that you also don’t know, feeling bad for all the shouting.

He’s a vigorous dancer. His moves are more energetic compared to the others, but not enough that you grow tired of it.

Since Sebek was the last one you were supposed to dance with, you sigh in relief, maybe you can finally rest and maybe even enjoy the rest of the night-

“Prefect! What is the meaning of this?” Here it comes, the problem you wanted to evade.

"Crowley! Hello! I was just, uh…” You tried to think of an excuse that made sense, even if you knew that everything you said would be a futile attempt to get out of the situation.

“She was making sure everything went perfectly; she helped with the organisation, after all," Azul declared, him and the eels hiding your figure behind theirs.

“It’s our fault she’s here, we insisted she stayed," Riddle added, unconsciously joining the barricade, as well as the other Heartslabyul students.

“I appreciate the worrying, but I explicitly said that she nor Grim could take part in this ball."

“She helped with it, and for her to not be part of it was an act of unfairness," said Malleus, his cold glare sending shivers down the spine of the kind headmaster.

“I understand your position, Mister Draconia. But—“ You went out, standing in front of Crowley.

“Guys, it’s okay, I’ll take Grim and then we would return to Ramshackle." Before they could even start complaining, a different voice joined the conversation.

“My, what is this commotion?” The Royal Sword Academy headmaster: Ambrose the 63rd, asked. “Oh, you must be the prefect I’ve been hearing a lot about, it’s nice to meet you," he presented himself, and you did the same, somewhat intimidated of him.

“It’s nice to meet you too, sir. My name’s MC, and I know I shouldn’t be here, but I assure you I was about to leave—"

“Leave? Who said anything about that?” Your face shifted into a confused expression.

“I was told that some parents had a problem with me and Grim participating of this ball, so that’s why I thought that—"

His amused laugh shut you up, baffled at this action. “Yes, that’s correct, but it would be cruel to send you home after you made all the way here."

“Headmaster! The parents solicited—"

“I know, Crowley. But they’re not here, and this young lady has the right to enjoy the same things as their classmates. There shouldn’t be any problem since this is a private event."

“But I—"

“You heard that MC!? He said you can stay!” Kalim exclaimed, smile widening due to the excitement.

“It seems that's the case." You said, turning around to the man that helped you, bowing before him in gratefulness. “Thank you, Mr. Ambrose”.

“No worries, dear. Now if you let me, I have to talk some important things with your headmaster." Both of them walked away, Crowley’s shocked expression still placed on his face.

It seems that happy endings do exist in the real life, and if you’re wondering where did the little fairy go… Well, she changed your dress again to the initial gown you wore at first, except that it was more of her liking, with huge bows and puffy sleeves.

But the rest, as some say, it’s history.

THE END~

DON'T REPOST.

EVERY CHARACTER BELONGS TO DISNEY AND YANA TOBOSO, AND I DON'T TAKE CREDIT FOR THEM.

[noxspluto]

a heart’s heavy sorrow

summary: it wasn’t long that she had been a part of the Van Der Linde gang, she learned the ways quickly, though a dark past still loomed over her, closing in on her faster than she realizes.

tags: slow burn, trauma, eventual smut, eventual fluff, violence, medium to high honor arthur morgan

chap. 1/?

The horses nose was cold, nuzzling into her hand as she pet and brushed the soft light mane, her mind focused on the dirt washing away, eyes tired.

The days have been hard and long, with extreme weather change from blistering heat to the hard downpour of rain, with the skies finally breaking through the dark clouds and allowing the moon to shine down on the camp, with minimal lighting surrounding her and the entire area, yet still giving a relaxed view of the stars.

She finished caring for the horses and began to store the supplies, her chores finally ending for the day. Now what remained was the bliss of peace and stew that sat in the pot, giving off interesting smell. At least it was food.

Walking over to the pot, she poured herself a ladle full, and sat by the now dimly lit fire that warmed her cold hands. The sky was lit with tiny white stars, constellations forming and the bar of the galaxy ripping through the sky. She basked in the view, considering her fondness of outer space. It wasn’t often she had time to appreciate the stars above, nor read and study each and every spark in the sky, but she would gladly admire them. Her body had never felt more stable with the moon comforting her from above, though the night is the least of her worries, it’s whats found in the dark that scares her the most.

She let her mind wander as she ate slowly, ignoring the tangy taste of the stew, too tired enough to care, happy enough to stay alive, the feeling enveloping her in a hug. Even though each day was a never ending cycle of chores, and each night was a consistently made stew of barely any ingredients that offered any flavor, she was grateful for the life she had, though it was repetitive. Anything was better than the life she shed before joining the Van Der Linde gang.

A horses trot and cheers caused her to snap out of her trance, causing her to turn her head in curiosity. A man entered the camp on his large horse, with what seemed to be the new meals for the next couple of days.

Arthur was back.

He greeted everyone, lifting a huge deer off the back of his horse, while young Tilly and Sean happily thanked him for gathering more edible food, other than what Pearson had cooked in the stew.

She put the bowl down and hesitated, before giving Arthur a small wave, though was ignored by his busy hands as he hauled the deer over to Pearson’s station. She was too tired to gather any courage to greet him as the others have done, so she instead closed her tent and lied down, letting exhaustion take over.

—

Arthur set the deer on Pearson’s table, it hitting it with a loud thud.

“Now, you can cook somethin’ worth eatin’, right?” Arthur commented, gesturing to the animal with a raised eyebrow, eyeing the other man who rolled his eyes. “If you had gone out sooner, we would’ve had a better meal!” Pearson replied, causing Arthur to laugh. “In case you haven’t noticed, which you must not have, ‘cause i ain’t been here, been busy.” Arthur remarked, turning to walk off to his tent, leaving Pearson mumbling some other excuse, he chose not to listen.

Arthur sat on his bed with a groan, loosening his sore muscles, rolling his shoulders. Everything ached in some way or another, he just usually brushed it off and continued on, reaping the consequences when he has a chance to relax. His eyes narrowed, searching the camp, ensuring everyone was as far away as he wishes them to be, before pulling out his journal to begin a light sketch of the scenery he had encountered while hunting earlier that day. His pencil moved smoothly across the paper, capturing the trees that shaded above an old shack he discovered, quickly shading the area before writing a short passage about his time away from camp. Once finished, he closed the book and let his mind rest, eyes closed for the night.

—

Her breath was ripped from her lungs, a barely audible scream emerging between her lips as she sat up in cold sweat, frantically searching around the tent. The voices looped through her head as she gasped through her panic, hand on her tight chest, feeling as if she were to die right then and there. Her shaking legs pushed helped push her further back against the small cot, her eyes trying to process her surroundings while her body was determined to tell her she was in danger. It wasn’t until she noticed a tall figure standing outside her tent that she was able to collect herself, tears streaking down her face while she hurriedly brushed them aside, covering her mouth in attempts to keep air in her lungs.

“Miss? You all right miss?” The voice outside the tent became audible, her ears letting noise in slowly, vision becoming more prominent.

“Yes! Sorry, woke up, could’ve sworn i’d seen someone next to my cot!” She replied loudly, hoping her shaking voice wouldn’t give her away as much, praying for him to stay outside the tent.

“Screamed loud enough, thought you were in danger,” The voice laughed a bit.

Hosea.

She wiped her eyes and stood, meeting him outside the tent, putting on her best smile. Hosea looked her up and down and had a slight frown of worry written on his face, the lines on his forehead displaying concern more than she would have asked for. “Perhaps you had a bad dream, then?” He questioned, looking you in the eye.

“A bit, nothing to be concerned about,” She murmured, shaking her head. Hosea didn’t push further, but still watched her closely enough.

Hosea had always made her feel welcome, since the day she was picked up by the gang. He taught her valuable wisdom and kept an eye on her through the harshest times, especially the night he had found her half dead in the snow up in the mountains, and panicked he was, hovering over her cold body, yelling for help.

She inhaled deeply and pushed the memories away, following Hosea as he explained the trip they were about to take together.

“Reckon once your horse is ready, you come with me to town, yeah? Gonna pick up a few things, and get you out of this camp for a little while,” Hosea said, his tone cheerful enough to put her at ease.

“Here,” He handed her a saddle for the horse they’d picked up in town a few days back. “Get her ready.”

She did so, saddling the horse up and tightening the straps, checking the bags and ensuring her needed items were where they should be. She patted the horse a few times, looking up at her shiny mane and curious eyes, she felt a sense of calm with her horse.

“Seen how you’ve been lookin’ lately miss,” He turned to her as he prepared the saddle on his own horse. “If there’s anything botherin’ ya, allow me listen, alright?” He said, strapping down his rifle to the bag.

She smiled a bit, thankful for his kind words. “I will, thank you mister Matthews.”

They pulled themselves up on their horses and begun the way down to town, grateful for the cold air and slight breeze that blew through her hair. Better than the boiling hot weather they’d suffered through just a few days back.

“So, miss,” Hosea spoke up, bringing your attention forward. “Have you taken a likin’ to the group? Getting along with everyone okay?” He asked, his light tone meaning nothing more than an enthusiastic conversation, something she’d only witnessed from him.

“Everyone’s been just lovely Mister Matthews, just fear i’d be bringing them down sometimes,” She spoke truthfully, thoughts overrun by the lack of efficiency she has compared to each member. Chores seem to take longer than they have to, and Miss Grimshaw already yelled at you twice, once for her lack of ability and the other for her own lack of patience she had for the poor girl.

“Oh, nonsense, young girl! You’re doing just fine,” Hosea waved her thoughts off, relief washing over her only slightly. “You’ll get the hang of everything in no time, you’ll be huntin’ with me or Arthur soon enough!”

Her eyes widened at the thought of Arthur. “Oh, I don’t think he likes me very much Mister Matthews,” She replied lightheartedly, laughing as a shield of her undoubted worry. Hosea only laughed.

“He’s like that with everyone, he’ll come around.”

She nodded, one hand running absentmindedly through her horses mane, attempting to allow herself to believe his words.

—

It wasn’t until later that evening did Hosea and the woman return to camp, the man leading them up the path to the hitch, settling the horses in for the night. She removed her saddle and brushed her horse, telling Hosea she’d do the same for his horse. He didn’t protest.

Soup was cooking in the pot above the campfire, Pearson stirring cautiously, examining the pot with intensity she didn’t understand. A few of the gang members surrounded the fire, breaking into song, Javier strumming delicately on his guitar while others danced. Such a peaceful group, a calm night.

She walked to her tent, spotting Arthur across the camp in his own, sitting on the edge of his bed, hunched over what seemed to be a journal. She found herself staring for quite too long when he looked up, watching the others around the camp, then turning and seeing her standing in her tent entryway. She quickly opened the flaps and shut herself in.

It wasn’t that Arthur scared her. She was just scared of what he could do. As a person, as an outlaw, as whomever he was at the moment that him and the gang had discovered her, his actions spoke louder than himself. Seeing the absolute anger in his eyes that night was terrifying, him finding out m what the raiders did—what they wanted to do, sent him in a fiery rage that instantly murdered the people that laid a hand on her, even without him knowing her at all. At that moment, it was only him, him walking into that cabin, the place suddenly aflame with screams of terror and shots ringing out, while Hosea and another man—Dutch, she remembered—aided in her safety, covering her in the softest coat, shielding the scars from the rest.

Tears formed, instantly pouring down, air ripped from her lungs as she found herself struggling to breathe, hands coming to her throat, no, no, they were hers, she tried to open the imaginary restriction around her neck to no avail, heart pounding, head screaming as she tried to regain her composure.

She wanted to yell for help, she felt them closing in, crawling over her, prying her open, yet no one came.

No one is here to save you.

—

Arthur hummed along as he wrote.

Peace was something I ain’t experience much, but tonight was a particularly welcoming night, whole camp is in a good mood, puts me right in one too. The new addition seems a bit…withdrawn, don’t blame her though, after all she’d been through. I wish nothin’ but hell on all those involved that night, wish i could’ve been there sooner. Poor woman doesn’t deserve any of that. Hoping she comes ‘round soon, want her to have a better life, though not sure the best life is a life with a group of outlaws.

He looked up, smiling a bit to himself as he wanted the gang members pour their souls out into song, and pour alcohol down their throats, happily enjoying themselves. He glanced to see the woman looking at him, with seemingly fearful eyes, before darting into her tent. He titled his head in curiosity, debating whether or not to see what that was all about.

“Arthur! Arthur, come join us, big man!” The Irish man goaded, approaching Arthur with two bottles in either hand. “Have a drink ‘n’ let loose, live a little!” Sean slurred, while Arthur gave him a demeaning glare.

“I ain’t takin’ part of your, shenanigans, “Arthur mumbled, standing up to push Sean the other direction, the ginger protesting as he did so.

“Ah, yer no fun Arthur!” Sean waved, strutting away, off to pester another camp member, Arthur presumed.

It wasn’t for another couple hours later, did the camp calm down, allowing Arthur to finally close his eyes. He wasn’t the party type, and was exhausted enough to feel irritable about the commotion outside his tent. He felt himself drift off, sleep pulling him away to utter darkness.

—

She woke, eyes heavy, breathing ragged, body feeling numb on the cot. She stared at the ceiling of the tent, throat dry and hurt, her eyes feeling slightly wet. She wasn’t sure when she’d fallen asleep, or if she had only passed out.

Regardless, it was morning, and she had responsibilities. She refused to let the events of a couple months ago get the better of her, she despised the thought of becoming weaker, of feeling more fragile, her mind and body breaking under the pressure.

So she stood up, though shakily, and quickly changed clothes for the day, ready to face it as if it was a new challenge.

[gatsby-system-folks]

Emergency commissions

My friend Nev was kicked out of their parents' house last night, December 10th. My friends and I are trying to find them a safe place to go. I'm opening commissions to cover hotels, food, and hopefully (coming up this march) rent. Every shelter I've spoken with is full due to the cold weather.

I'm doing illustration, writing, poetry, editting, and worldbuilding commissions. I'm handling funds through my c-shpp for proof of payment's sake, but every cent of this money is going to Nev. $gatsbysystemfolks

Also NOT SPAMTAGGING. If you're seeing this post in a fandom tag, then you can potentially get content for that fandom here

Info below:

Illustration:

Some examples of my work

I'll also do relatively short comics. This is a snippet from my webcomic. A sketch is $10, colored sketch is $15, lineart is $10, colored lineart is $15. Shading or lighting on anything will add $10. I'm not separating character art and landscape art, both have the same rate, but something with more than 5 characters or something set in a city (or otherwise densely populated/elaborate area) will be a little more ($5 for every character above 5, and an extra $10 for an elaborate scene). Comics are the same, each page (not each panel) will be treated as a piece.

Writing:

I'll write for ocs, and from:

Homestar Runner

Rise of the tmnt

The Usagi Chronicles

Gorillaz

Good Omens

Undertale/Deltarune

Homestuck (and its affiliates, such as pesterquest or friendsim)

Venom

Moon Knight

Treasure Planet

Hellboy

Doctor Who

Our Flag Means Death

The Chronicles of Narnia

The Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit

The original 6 Star Wars movies

The Spiderverse series, itsv and atsv

The Davina skit from Rab C Nesbitt. (I see yall shipping Davina with Mrs. Robinson and I love yall)

If something's not on this list, you can still ask, and if I've seen whatever the media is I'll probably write it. On the other hand, if i haven't seen all of the content for the medias listed above, I'll have to do some research so it might not be the best work (ie the only reason I'm limiting this to the first 6 star wars movies is because I haven't seen any more than that)

I'll do ships between canon characters or between ocs, I'm not comfortable doing x reader content at this point. Also.. they don't have to be ships lol I also do just. Fics.

Some examples of my work:

I'm gonna keep it simple and do $20 per thousand words, but there's not a minimum word count. That's $0.02 per word lol. When you describe the fic ill give you an estimate of how many words I can do it in, and we can adjust. If the fic goes more than 150 words over the final estimate then it's flat-rate (as in the price doesn't continue to climb)

Poetry

Any subject really. I'll add examples of my work when the website I post on is fixed. Poetry is twice the price of fic

Editing:

Keep it under 5,000 words for now. $8 per hour. I'll edit fic, essays, etc.

Worldbuilding:

If you need help figuring out a magic system, how pipes connect your city, weird biological facts about your aliens, or even just where to put the castle parking lot, I can help. Same rules of fic writing and editing: if we chat worldbuilding for an hour, it'll be $8. If you want a 500 word summary of your new worlbuilding, that'll be $10. The text of the chat of course is free, you can pause your time of course, and whatever time I spend writing the summary isn't double charged. So an hour of chatting+ a 500 word summary would be $18

What I won't work with, in any format

Heavy nsfw- light is ok

Incest, pedophilia, noncon etc

Hate, bigotry, overly political work, bullying

Torture

Glorification of not good things. Depiction does not equal glorification

Case by case: real, living people. Context below.

What I won't draw, specifically:

Gore

abuse (such as beating, verbal, emotional)

Self harm

Everything is case-by-case, if something makes me uncomfortable I'm not going to do it. You may not put my work into an ai scraper of any kind. Also I'll say it again, depiction does not equal glorification.

Context on real people: I mean if you want me to just draw a picture of Margot Robbie that's most likely fine, or write about the wacky secret society that Laura Ingals and St. Patrick were running that's probably fine, or if a real living person appears in the background that's probably fine (I see you good omens fans having Crowley and Hozier hang out at a bar), but I won't write shipping for real, currently living people, nor will i make them the mc of a story. I'd prefer not for dead people either, but that's not a hard rule. Once again, case by case.

[ixoxi13]

Now that "Wrong Place, Wrong Time" is officially finished (for real this time), I thought I'd share some of the creative process behind it, so here's some sketches and the songs that inspired the series. Just in case anyone finds this kind of stuff interesting. 😉

Check out the fic if you haven't already!

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

Rating: Explicit

Fandom: Fallout (TV 2024)

Relationship: Thaddeus (Fallout TV)/Reader

Please read the tags before continuing.

Summary:

The Brotherhood of Steel is on its way, and you are out of patience. You will get him to talk one way or another.

Part 1 of ThaddeusxNCR!Reader series in which Thaddeus is captured and interrogated by the NCR.

[ownerofthisaccount]

Hello again everyone! This was probably not the next part you hoped for but I hope I can explain well.

@raisans-art has made some really good AUs, such as the Human Illusion Au. One of them is the Chimera Emmet Au where Emmet is captured and experimented on, turning him into Agee after being fused with his Pokémon. Those who watched episode 4 of Fullmetal Alchemist are getting flashbacks

Well, they made a quick sketch of if Ingo was the one turned, called Chei, and I made a drawing for that afterwards because I have enjoyed both designs. As a child I loved transformations and stories of experiment or body horror, so that’s probably a factor. I later drew a mini comic for it detailing how the first night would go down, as well as a side comic of ghost Emmet. I made hints that a part two would come, and even released a WIP of one of the images. Well…I can’t say it won’t ever happen, perhaps months later, but I don’t think I will finish it right now(most of the betas were deleted anyway, either on purpose for space or by accident because of fat fingers). I have Aspergers, and I can hyperfixate on things. This can be for weeks, months, years, even forever in a couple cases. Chimera Emmet happened to be one of those(the twins are still an interest, but I got into several AUs based on them because of it) and I been seeing it since it’s early stages when Emmet was still himself in there. I just didn’t have the courage to fanart it till Chei came out as I love both but lean more to drawing Ingo. I have really enjoyed drawing the two and seeing their interactions, how this bad end line would go, and mentally thinking up things. It was also nice to see other people’s excitement over this and sees their asks created more drawings and pieces. Not recently I’ve been feeling the start of the interest drop. I hate when this happens because you love the thing but you can feel yourself slowly drift from it and it…sucks. I have the outlines ready to be draw but not the push or energy to complete it. I did managed to finish one, being a drawing of the remaining four Pokémon and Pels going to Juniper and Drayden, but unfortunately this was one of the ones that got accidentally deleted and I can’t recover it(which was possibly another push). On top of that I have actually started doing commissions, and being these and the two projects I’m working on(my graphic novel and my favorite list), Ive been a bit drained myself. I have betas for a couple though that were detailed enough to be salvageable, so I won’t put them to waste.

This was supposed to be Chei reading the floor apology made by Agee, anxiously waiting for a response.

This one was supposed to be Ingo’s spirit sensing something wrong, while Agee comforts a weakened Chei while they think of a way to escape.

And my personal favorite, Ingo’s spirit panicking while Emmet’s spirit starts trying to piece together what happened while wishing he was still alive because Chei and Agee would make for an interesting double battle duo(even in death he thinks of battle strategies)

It saddens me to not have full pictures to share, but I won’t leave you empty handed. I’ll share what I was thinking up if I made the final two parts: so after the first night, Chei wakes up to find a poorly drawn apology on the floor from Agee, who still feels guilty for hurting their friend(and shocked when they see Chei is healed) by accident. Though not fully forgiving yet, Chei accepts the apology and slowly starts being less cautious around Agee. Eventually this comes to head when Agee protects Chei from a threat(most likely the scientists) which fully gains the latter’s trust so the two begin to become friends. During this the remaining four mons meet up with Pels(given this Au has mostly the same beginning, Pels still tagged along and escaped the scientists during the chaos that was capturing Ingo) and reluctantly decide the best course of action is to try to tell others, as they feel with Pels with the they could possibly convince someone. Ingo and Emmet’s souls are in limbo, not having moved on due to the circumstances of their deaths(I headcanoned in my ghost Emmet comic that he couldn’t move on until he knew that Ingo was alright and moving forward, so here the two likely wouldn’t till they both pieced together what happened and got justice for the experiments) watch as time pass and the fusions truly become family. However Ingo senses something is amiss and sure enough Chei is growing weaker. Unlike Agee, Chei is an unstable fusion due to the damage before the experiment. Agee colors dull in these bad conditions but Chei’s body and especially souls struggle to handle it, and start to unravel. Agee refuses to let his buddy die and decide to work with Chei to try to escape. That would’ve been part two. The final part would’ve been Chei and Agee combining their moves(multi train style) to break through the glass and begin and escape. They start breaking out everyone and fighting back the scientists when Chei grows too weak to fight and Agee protects him. Before they can be detained, Rescue arrive with the remaining Pokémon, Pels, and the humans fighting to incapacitate the scientists. Chei is wary around them since trust issues, but Agee is grateful for their help and lifts Chei onto his back to carry him. Once the scientists are defeated. The others help Agee out getting everyone outside where the chimera lays Chei down. The fusion would’ve curled up under a tree with Agee and the others by, leaving it ambiguous if Chei was getting better and healing, or peacefully passing away in a nicer area that wasn’t a cell. The final frame would’ve been the twins, now satisfied the experiments were freed and given justice, walking off into the afterlife together. Not a perfect story but I had fun with it. Now…I did prepare something to give you a nugget anyway:

And here it is! Marshrill design was recently released and as someone who loves and theorize the twins becoming Pokémon, this was certainly up my alley and I had to draw at least a quick sketch. Hopefully it makes up for no huge comic update.

But anyway, final huge props to @raisans-art again and I hope you all still enjoyed this. Thank you all, and have a great rest of your day

[golby-moon]

been forever since I've done pixel art but since the drawing app I use (@flipaclip) recently (at the time) added a pixel art feature, I decided to (or well accidentally did it) give it a shot for the @bsideminibang for this fic I kind of pinch hit for after people from all sides dropped out

this banner is kind of a mess since I didn't even try to stay consistent as far as pixel sizing went, didn't even think of it. I do like how certain things came out, like the apple skins and the spot of blood (the logo was just me tracing the original one to pixelate it so not counting that), but things like the old timey metal lunch box and the countertop with the pie on it (underneath the fic title) didn't come out very well at all imo

for the art piece, I learned from my mistakes and kept the 'brush' size the same throughout the entire thing, which I think makes it look better overall even if it loses some of the tinier details nobody would ever notice that smaller pixels allowed (which is partially why the Mars/male symbol on the pillow...isn't very clear). I actually forgot I was gonna put Dean (with the purple hair there) standing in front of the couch, so Cas (with the blue hair) has a whole body behind Dean's head. I don't always take the time to bother doing more than basic sketches in cases like those, but Cas is all fully colored and shaded and everything behind Dean's head lol

the dark spots in Dean's hair are supposed to be blood, as there's a scene in the fic where John beats Dean up. there's also transphobic language and transphobia in general in the fic, as Dean is trans and his parents don't like that very much. be aware of the tags and everything before you click on the fic

the fic this is made for is called "Unraveling Unrolled" by @bleuzombie for the bside mini bang (that I cannot stop referring to as 'rock bang' oops)

(09/07/23)

[autumnalwalker]

Manuscript Search Tag

Thank you for the tag, @talesofsorrowandofruin.

My given words are familiar, frighten, fun, foggy & fill.

Passing the tag outside of my usual tag game circle this time to @hyba, @aether-wasteland-s, @worldstogetlostin, @equusgirl-writes, & @saintedseraph. I hope you do not mind. My apologies if it is unwanted. Also the usual open tag for anyone else who wishes to participate.

Your words shall be fancy, fear, failed, from, & funny

The following excerpts are all pulled from @thearchivistsjournal.

Familiar: Day 74

As for those other second floor rooms, they appeared to be additional bedrooms, although one had been converted to a storage closet for stacks of paintings.  Dozens of canvases piled one on top of the other as they were set to lean against the walls or lay on top of the bed.  Most looked to be landscapes and still lifes, but there were some portraits mixed in.  Some of them didn’t look like anything I’d expect to find in the Village or its surrounding islands yet felt achingly familiar.  Deserts, mountains, snowy fields, pine forests, buildings of glass and metal.  Were these drawn from Priscila’s outsider memories?  Stories?  Pure flights of fancy?  If they were outsider recollections, did Priscilla paint them, or just describe them to her husband?

Frighten: Day 148

Once my plate was cleared I took the… well not so much “stage” as “spot where tables had been pushed aside to make a ring.”  In a mood to match the hour and the weather I warned the audience that this night’s tales would be ones not of adventure and daring, but of fear and those things that lurk in the dark.  They laughed and took it as a challenge.  Good.  If I failed to frighten, they would be able to boast of their courage, and if I succeeded… well, they say there’s a kind of catharsis in horror fiction.

Fun: Day 74

We wound up spending the night taking turns telling the story to Maiko.  Afterwards I asked them what they all made of the ending, with the girl climbing the tallest highest tree.  Maiko was frustrated that it just ended there without resolution.  Cass said that she liked to think the girl wound up in yet another world and kept on having adventures until one day her parents finally caught up with her and joined her on travels like they said they would “One Day.”  Lin said that she used to think something similar.  Then as she got older she started to think it was more likely that the girl would have failed to climb that impossible tree, but that was no fun as a story.  These days she figures that the point of the ending, the story’s final lesson, is that there simply aren’t answers to some things, and that’s okay.

Foggy: Day 219

The other part of the visit that went as I’d hoped was that I was able to get Tristan to do some rough sketches of islands we might pass by and/or stop at on the way there and back.  It’s been long enough that his memory is a bit foggy so we can’t guarantee accuracy and certainly not precision, but it’s something.  Should be good for cross-referencing with Maiko’s memory of her long ago trip to the healing spring.  Unfortunately, we were all reeling too much from Maiko’s abrupt departure at the time to do much in the way of aerial sketching of the surrounding area.

Fill: Day 91

It’s funny though, my memory of this particular story is fuzzier than most, and for some reason I find myself associating it with music, but I can’t recall the music at all.  Was it a song originally?  Or maybe an instrumental piece that was meant to go along with a story that I never witnessed firsthand?  Or maybe just meaning I personally assigned to a song.  If that last one is the case, is it proper for me to use it?  Would it be too presumptuous to tell a story I came up with instead of someone else’s?  Then again, I don’t know that it was me who came up with it.  And with the way all the stories already in the archive are transformed by memory and retelling, how much of their authorship lies with the original in whatever world outsiders come from and how much lies with the ones that brought them here?  I’ll admit, even with some of my own tellings I’ve done so far, parts have been less memory and more logical deduction from the parts I do remember in order to fill gaps.

[cqlfeels]

@lansplaining encouraged me to finish this random meta nobody asked for, so let's talk about Meng Yao, Meng Shi, and 孟母三遷 (mèng mǔ sān qiān), a proverb about good parenting.

A warning: this is super long (even for me!) and is less quality meta and more my ADHD brain jumping around a maze of loosely related ideas. Proceed with caution!

Let me start by briefly going through why I decided to write this, because it’s important. In haunting Meng Shi’s tag in my starvation for Meng Shi content, I’ve multiple times come across the idea that Meng Shi pushed Meng Yao too hard, that she should’ve been more careful with teaching him to seek his father’s approval at any cost, and that she was too naïve. I’ve never reblogged this kind of post because 1) I personally think it’s rude to go out of your way to ramble about how much you disagree with someone on their own post and 2) if this was an isolated incident I wouldn't care either way, so I didn’t want to direct this rant at anyone in particular. It’s more to do with a tendency, primarily (as far as I can tell) from fans who haven’t had much contact with Chinese culture, to oversimplify Meng Shi and make her relationship with Meng Yao slightly disturbing, and I think part of it is due to CQL basically cutting out her entire storyline (so fans simply don’t have info about her to assess her fairly) and part is due to misunderstanding what a good parent is supposed to act like in the context of Ancient China.

[Of course, Ancient China is not a very useful historical concept, not any more than “ye olde Europe” - things change a lot based on time and place - but you know. It’s fantasy. Extremely broad trends are okay in this case.]

Anyway, the idea behind the posts I mentioned is, basically, that Meng Shi (usually through no fault of her own) is to blame for Meng Yao’s obsession with power, since his desire for approval was inherited from lessons she taught him. Just to start with, I’d argue that Meng Yao isn’t power-hungry as much as he craves security and respect, but that’s a different meta. Let’s assume that she really did teach him to be Like That. Was she wrong to do so? I’m not looking for “does that make for a happy, well-adjusted childhood?” or “would you raise your own son as Meng Shi did?” - I’m trying to figure out, would she have been considered a bad mother in the context of the society she lived in? I don’t think she would’ve.

It is surprisingly hard to find texts about the obligations of parents in Ancient China. Their main obligation is to raise filial children, but I feel like that’s not very useful: whether or not parents are good parents, children are expected to be filial, so a child being filial really says more about the child than about the parent. Maybe the parent completely missed the mark and society at large was what taught the child to be filial!

We can assume, of course, that parents were to raise good people, and that by learning what a good person looked like, we could figure out whether the parent was successful, but once again, I feel like that’s pinning things on the outcome, not on the process - the best of parents can end up with an awful kid and vice versa.

While thinking about all this, it took me a frankly embarrassing amount of time to remember the story of Mother Meng and Meng Zi, but once I did, it wouldn’t leave my mind - in part because the Meng here is the exact same Meng of Meng Shi and Meng Yao (yay! fun if useless parallel!), and in part because this is a story about how a woman can successfully raise a son by herself.

Okay, so important note: one of the most influential ancient Chinese thinkers is Meng Zi (孟子 Mèng Zǐ), who is known in the West as Mencius. If you've never heard of him - he's perhaps second in importance only to Confucius. When Mencius was still a young child, his father died, so he was raised by his mother, who is usually known only as Mother Meng (in Chinese, 孟母 Mèng Mǔ.)

Mother Meng's story is told in Biographies of Exemplary Women (列女傳 Liènǚ Zhuàn), which for around 2000 years beginning around the 18th century BCE, was the most commonly used book used to educate women. The book is divided into sections, each one showing a different way women could be honorable and good. Mother Meng's story is told in the Maternal Models section (母儀傳 Mǔ Yí Zhuàn.) The story has a few parts, some of which I'll quote, always from Kinney's 2014 translation.

Before I go on to quote it, though, I'd like to establish that Mother Meng's story is so, so famous that even if Meng Shi had never read this particular book, I'm almost certain she would've been familiar with at least the outlines of Mother Meng's story. I'm not cherry picking a suitable chapter from the book, I'm literally going with the most famous story in it because Meng Shi would be most likely to know this one if she knew no other story.

Okay, the first part of the tale takes place when Mencius is a young boy and Mother Meng is a widow raising him.

The mother of Meng Ke of Zou [a different name for Mencius] was called Mother Meng. She lived near a graveyard. During Mencius’ youth, he enjoyed playing among the tombs, romping about pretending to prepare the ground for burials. Mother Meng said, “This is not the place to raise my son.” She therefore moved away and settled beside the marketplace. But there he liked to play at displaying and selling wares like a merchant. Again Mother Meng said, “This is not the place to raise my son,” and once more left and settled beside a school. There, however, he played at setting out sacrificial vessels, bowing, yielding, entering, and withdrawing. His mother said, “This, indeed, is where I can raise my son!” and settled there. When Mencius grew up, he studied the Six Arts, and finally became known as a great classicist. A man of discernment would say, “Mother Meng was good at gradual transformation.”

According to the translator's footnote, "gradual transformation" is "a childrearing technique, whereby a child is morally formed through daily exposure to correct models of behavior."

From this story comes the proverb 孟母三遷 (Mèng Mǔ sān qiān) - "Mother Meng moved three times." It's come to mean that a parent - especially the mother of a male child - should spare no efforts to provide an environment that will give their child a good education, paying particular attention to what models are surrounding them.

I'm sure I don't need to say if Meng Shi was at all familiar with this proverb (and she would probably be), she must have been very stressed out over literally raising her son in a brothel. (Here I must mention sex workers in ancient China were often essentially owned by the brothels, so literally "moving three times" wasn't really an option for Meng Shi even if she could miraculously pick up another trade.) Meng Shi did however at least try to surround Meng Yao with the accomplishments appropriate for the son of a cultivator:

Xiao-Meng, are you still learning those things lately? [...] The things your mom wants you to learn, things like calligraphy, etiquette, swordsmanship, meditation… How are those things going? [...] His mom’s raising him as a young master of a wealthy family. She taught him how to read and write, bought him all those swordsmanship pamphlets, and even wants to send him to school.

Meng Yao actually talks a little bit about “those swordsmanship pamphlets” in the only time in canon he directly shares memories about this mother:

Lan XiChen, “Your [guqin] skills are also considered quite fine outside of Gusu. Were they taught by your mother?”

Jin GuangYao, “No. I taught myself by watching others. She never taught me such things. She only taught me reading and writing, and bought a handful of expensive sword and cultivation guides for me to practice.”

Lan XiChen seemed surprised, “Sword and cultivation guides?”

Jin GuangYao, “Brother, you haven’t seen them before, have you? Those small booklets sold by the common folk. First jumbled sketches of human figures, then deliberately mystified captions.”

Lan XiChen shook his head, smiling. Jin GuangYao shook his head as well, “All of them are scams, especially to fool women like my mother and ignorant children. You won’t lose anything by practicing them, but you definitely won’t gain anything either.”

He sighed in a rueful way, “But how could my mother have known this? She bought them no matter how expensive they were, saying that if I returned to see my father in the future, I had to see him with as much competence as possible so that I don’t fall behind. All of the money was spent on this.”

See what’s happening? Meng Shi cannot physically take Meng Yao to cultivators, but she spares no efforts in giving him the closest thing she possibly can -- figuratively, we might say she moved three times.

Of course, these booklets don’t work, but as Meng Yao says, how could she have known this? The cultivation world is very closed off - think of how the entire Mo household gathers to see Lan juniors, and how Wei Wuxian mentions once that “Cultivation families, in the eyes of common folk, are like people favored by God, mysterious yet noble.” Not just noble, but mysterious. That tracks, too - I mean, they live in inaccessible households and mostly leave to night hunt or visit each other, neither of which is an activity that would allow commoners to get much more than an occasional glimpse of them.

Now, if Meng Shi doesn’t even know that a pearl for Jin Guangshan was just a trinket, if she doesn’t know even the wealth of a major sect, how can she read booklets and decide whether that’s genuine cultivation or not? All that she sees is a chance for Meng Yao to be surrounded by the ideas and skills of the people she wants him to emulate - cultivators - and therefore she does everything she can to get him that chance. Mother Meng moved three times.

Okay, but maybe the argument is not “Meng Shi shouldn’t have pushed Meng Yao to cultivation” but rather “she should’ve pushed him, just not too hard." To that, I present another tale from Mencius' childhood:

Once, when Mencius was young, he returned home after finishing his lessons and found his mother spinning. She asked him, “How far did you get in your studies today?” Mencius replied, “I’m in about the same place as I was before.” Mother Meng thereupon took up a knife and cut her weaving. Mencius was alarmed and asked her to explain. Mother Meng said, “Your abandoning your study is like my cutting this weaving. A man of discernment studies in order to establish a name and inquires to become broadly knowledgeable. By this means, when he is at rest, he can maintain tranquility and when he is active, he can keep trouble at a distance. If now you abandon your studies, you will not escape a life of menial servitude and will lack the means to keep yourself from misfortune. How is this different from weaving and spinning to eat? If one abandons these tasks midway, how can one clothe one’s husband and child and avoid being perpetually short of food? If a woman abandons that with which she nourishes others and a man is careless about cultivating his virtue, if they don’t become brigands or thieves, then they will end up as slaves or servants.” Mencius was afraid. Morning and evening he studied hard without ceasing. He served Zisi [a great scholar whose grandfather was Confucius] as his teacher and then became one of the most renowned classicists in the world.

Notice that Mother Meng moved three times to ensure Mencius would have the highest of aspirations - to become a scholar. But just aspiration isn’t enough. Not by any means. Now that Mencius is actually studying, Mother Meng is willing to take an extreme action to ensure he's taking it seriously. Mencius doesn't have a father to smooth his path to success. He has to learn that aspiring to greatness isn't enough. He'll have to put in the effort as if his life depended on it. And if he doesn't persist in his hard work, everything he's done thus far will be useless. Sounds like a lesson imparted on young Meng Yao, doesn’t it?

A lot of fandom rage towards Meng Shi would apply to China's Best Mom Contender, Mother Meng. She gives her son big dreams, and teaches him how to go about achieving them in a society where failing is easier than succeeding. Yes, it's fair to say that Meng Shi taught Meng Yao to refuse to settle for anything less than being “Jin Guangshan's son, a respected cultivator.” Yes, it's also fair to say that she probably didn't allow him much time to play like children his age did. But unfortunately, in the world of MDZS, poor children probably wouldn't get to play anyhow, the difference is that they'd usually be working, not studying. Studying is a privilege! It’s a privilege Meng Yao could not afford but was given to him anyway, through his mother’s many sacrifices. We can even say that while she was alive, Meng Shi was trying to ensure Meng Yao would one day have a better life, at the expense of a fun childhood - and that's very Mother Meng of her, whatever our modern Western sensibilities might have to say about that.

Finally, I’d skip other tales (which show Mother Meng and an adult Mencius) and go straight to the poem that ends the Mother Meng section:

The mother of Mencius

Was able to teach, transform, judge, and discriminate.

With skill she selected a place to raise her son,

Prompting him to accord with the great principles.

When her son’s studies did not advance,

She cut her weaving to illustrate her point.

Her son then perfected his virtue;

His achievements rank as the crowning glory of his generation.

I’d like to focus on the last verse - “His achievements rank as the crowning glory of his generation.” All that Mother Meng wanted was for Mencius to not completely ruin his life, but he became great. You can so very easily see a parallel with how Meng Shi hoped Meng Yao would be a cultivator but he became Jin Guangyao, Chief Cultivator, styled Lianfang-zun, one of the Three Venerable, hero of the Sunshot Campaign.

Of course you can say “Jin Guangyao did many Very Wrong Things to get there, though!” Which, sure, okay, fair point. How many and how wrong depends on which canon we're discussing, and your own interpretation, but there’s no version of the story in which Jin Guangyao is 100% an innocent child uwu. But blaming that on Meng Shi is just... straight up weird? I don’t see anyone going “If Jiang Fengmian hadn’t adopted Wei Wuxian, he’d never have dared become Yiling Laozu!” and that’s pretty much the same logic. Would street kid Wei Wuxian have invented a new type of cultivation if he had never been taken in by the Jiang? Probably not, but raising undead armies is very much not something Jiang Fengmian could’ve predicted. In the same way, how could Meng Shi have predicted that teaching her pre-adolescent son “You are the son of a cultivator, act like one and earn your place in society” would’ve ultimately resulted in innocent deaths? How could she predict “You’re not destined to having the same horrible life I did, you can get something better than this” was a bad thing to teach? I quite honestly don’t know.

Finally, I'd like to point towards a much flimsier evidence that Meng Shi did great as a parent. And that is Meng Yao’s love. Nie Huaisang at some point comments Meng Shi is someone who Meng Yao "cherishes more than his life," and I think his assessment is correct.

Even putting aside the fact he built a whole temple to get his mother to reincarnate into a better life, and even putting aside how he refuses to flee the country without her remains, there's still crystal clear evidence that Meng Shi must've done something right. Because a lifetime of people using his mother to bully him doesn't seem to have made Meng Yao resent her. Had their relationship not have been very strong, odds are he'd feel bitter and/or ashamed of her. That doesn't seem to be the case. He's attached to her even decades after her death.

I want to be very careful with equating mutual affection with good parenting, though. When I was a rather rebellious teenager, my mother (in typical Chinese fashion) used to say that parents and children don't have to love each other as long as they're dutiful to each other, by which she meant that a parent-child relationship isn't informed by warm and fuzzy feelings, but by whether you'd be willing to do anything for each other. Specific to my case, she meant "I don't care if it makes you hate me, you will do as you're told because that's what's best for you." (That may also be the reason why people more familiar with Chinese culture see the Jiang family less as outright abusive and more as #complicated, but that's another meta.)

Whether your kid wants to hug you every time they see you is of no consequence to traditional Chinese thought - raising them to be the best they can is all that matters, because at the end of the day, you won't be around forever, but you can definitely set up your kid's life so that it goes smoothly and virtuously. How that's accomplished varies depending on many factors, but to have the goal be "I want my child to love me" rather than "I want to raise my child right" would've been considered selfish as hell.

So even if all that Meng Shi had given Meng Yao had been stern lessons about the need to go get his birthright, she would've still have been considered a good mother!! In fact, she would've been doing everything she was supposed to do, under extremely difficult conditions! (Remember the importance of environment? That Meng Yao grew up to want to be a cultivator despite having probably never even met one speaks wonders about Meng Shi's childrearing powers!!)

But just based off how over the top Meng Yao's filal dutifulness is, I'd go a step further and say that even as she did the impossible, she was also loving enough to inspire genuine affection. This is complicated because children who have present fathers could expect their mothers to be tender with them. The first century BCE text 禮記 Lǐ Jì or The Classic of Rites says that:

Here now is the affection of a father for his sons - he loves the worthy among them, and places on a lower level those who do not show ability; but that of a mother for them is such, that while she loves the worthy, she pities those who do not show ability - the mother deals with them on the ground of affection and not of showing them honour; the father, on the ground of showing them honour and not of affection.

But when the father figure is lacking for any reason, the mother must abandon her tenderness because someone must guide the child, and without a father, the role falls to the mother. A single or widowed mother had to be very careful to not smother their children with affection and raise useless, spoiled kids, or so it was thought. (The presence of Qingheng-jun and Lan Qiren is why Madame Lan can be so affectionate with the Lan boys, by the way - if she was raising them by herself she would've been expected to be much more practical. AUs where she just gets her kids and runs away could do very cool things with this idea. But I digress!)

Where was I? Oh, okay. Because Meng Yao seems to not just respect, but actively miss her, it seems that Meng Shi somehow managed to deal with her son on the ground of both honor and affection, to paraphrase.

So basically, all things considered, it seems not only would Meng Shi have been considered a great mom (if people could look past her being a prostitute, anyway) but she also went above and beyond the bare minimum. She truly spared no efforts on any front to make sure her son had everything your average gongzi would have - someone to teach him and someone to love him, access to education and confidence in his birthright. That she couldn't actually make him a cultivator, that she couldn't actually raise him in a proper home with no one being cruel to herself or him - that's immaterial. Even Mother Meng couldn't control what her neighbors did, only what she taught her son! The key point is Meng Shi tried. She did everything she could to educate her son right. You couldn't ask more of her, and quite honestly, you should probably be asking less.

Of course we can't err on the other extreme and say she was Perfect. Given MXTX only ever writes flawed characters, we can safely assume that if we'd known more about Meng Shi, we would've seen many flaws. Indeed, just the fact she didn't teach Meng Yao the guqin when he apparently wanted to learn it might point to some conflict we don't know enough to speculate about (maybe she focused too much on cultivation when Meng Yao's interests lay elsewhere? Maybe she wasn't able to sufficiently shelter him and he felt it'd be a burden to ask her to teach him anything? Maybe maybe maybe, go wild with your fics.) Nevertheless, I would never hold a female character to a higher ideal than a male character - if the male cast of MDZS can be a hot mess and still be admirable for what they're trying to do, then so can Meng Shi.

At the end of the day, when I look at Meng Shi - and I've made myself a document with all the references to her in the novel canon so I could easily contemplate her life and character - all I see is a woman every bit as determined and resourceful as her son, willing to do everything it took to raise her little boy into the sophisticated and ambitious man he became.

Finally, here's a fun little parallel that I'm 100% sure was unintentional but I still love. I said Meng Shi couldn't have moved three times. She couldn't, but I think maybe she taught her son he was worth moving three times for. Qinghe Nie. Qishan Wen. Lanling Jin. Isn't that super fun to think about?

Alternatively, tl;dr: Oh My God I Can't Believe We're Blaming Women For The Actions Of Their Adult Children In The Year Of Our Lord 2k21, Meng Shi Was Doing Her Best, Chill!

[tyrantisterror]

The ATOM Create a Kaiju Contest 3-D: Entry Roundup

You’ve been patiently waiting for the results of the ATOM Create a Kaiju Contest 3-D, and now... you have to wait a bit longer, but at least you’ve got an entry roundup with lots of sketches and a good bit of feedback for all the entrants!  My goal is to get the finalists illustrated in a week or two, and after that, the grand prize winner will be announced.  But, for now, the official entry roundup!  After the cut:

I should note that while I sketched these in the order they were submitted, my scanner saved the documents with random names, so they’re a bit jumbled.  You know, just in case you’re like me and would get confused noticing that it’s almost in chronological order but with some entries jumbled around.

@bugcthulhu’s Obsideban was designed as a counterpart to Rohobaron - the Black King to Rohobaron’s Red King, if you will.  Or, well, Black Queen in this case, as Obsideban also takes her personality from the “delinquent girl” archetype in Japanese media.  Bug’s designs always ooze personality, and I had a lot of fun translating this big, gnarly retrosaur into my own style.

@toothlessloveshiccup‘s Argonox is the first - but far from the last - monster in this breakdown that brings in a bit of fantasy influence to ATOM’s roster.  A golden-fleeced ram with a vicious streak, this sheep is both treasure and dragon at once.  And while it wasn’t written in the monster’s profile, given the Yamaneon-rich nature of its wool, Argonox might be able to replicate the healing power of the golden fleece too!  A very fun mammalian kaiju and excellent entry.

@highly-radioactive-nerd submitted Gunmetal Jeeves, a robot butler who can gigantomax temporarily create a holographic/hard light version of himself to fight kaiju.  That detail was a late revision added to the entry before the contest’s deadline, made after the creator realized that ATOM allows for some truly ludicrous bullshit, which is something everyone should exploit when making entries for this in my opinion.  Also, this is a robot butler who can size shift.  Revel in its awesome absurdity!

Ultranerd submitted Rajasaurus, a dimetrodon-like synapsid kaiju with electric powers.  His origin specifies that the electric powers are a result of the volatile nature of the Yamaneon deposits he mutated under, which is an interesting idea.  That’s another theme that cropped up a lot in this contest’s entries, actually - people really wanted to play with what Yamaneon can do.

Case in point, @polygonfighter’s Yamaneolith takes the Monolith Monsters homage at the heart of Yamaneon even more apparent.  I like the implication that there is a second mineral-based lifeform at the root of this Yamaneon cluster’s anomalous behavior - a parasite, perhaps?  It brings up some interesting possibilities.

@ariccio50 submitted Kukulkuzana, and damn is this a cool spin on the body plan of my martians.  I made a few changes here and there (splitting its tail into two is probably the biggest one), but tried to keep true to the original design, because holy hell is it gorgeous.  The idea that this is a mountain-dwelling creature is really intriguing to me, as it looks like a sea creature, but at the same time, that flexible and low-slung build WOULD work pretty well in mountains, and it’s just the right mix of plausible weirdness that makes for a fun alien design.

@akitymh submitted Aramzados, a Venusian monster that’s basically an organic hot rod car.  I like the idea of organic machinery being the gimmick for Venusian kaiju, and Aramzado’s does it subtly enough to not feel like that gimmick is the sole thing going for it.  I especially love this monster’s stange, apparently mouth-less blade-beaked face.

@virovac submitted Rurzar and Zar Rider, a Beyonder kaiju and mecha (respecitvely) that were both modified and repurposed by humans reverse engineering Beyonder technology to make, like, a motorcycle-saurus essentially.  It is a delightfully absurd concept, and a very, very detailed one (13 pages of description).  There’s a dark undercurrent beneath the sillyness, though, as this pair show that humanity might still be following the same path as the Beyonders before them.

@dinosaurana brings us Krangor, a humanoid monstrosity of living kelp!  The goal here was to create a Jack Kirby-esque monster dude, complete with the gibberish name and all.  He’s also made out of kelp, which feels very classic 1950′s monster-y despite me not being able to think of any monsters that were explicitly made of kelp.  I love him.

@kiryuthechimera submitted Genkakurah, a psychic retrosaur with some draconic features.  Though his substantial powerset is probably the biggest distinguishing feature of this kaiju (given that most ATOM kaiju pretty much have the same standard powers), what really draws me to him is that reptilian pseudo-beard.  It’s just a fun detail!

@glarnboudin submits Tiratola, and see, there’s that fantasy influence again!  Even more explicitly dragon-y than Kraydi, Tiratola still manages to toe the line between sci-fi and fantasy enough to fit ATOM as is while still cementing its ties to my own slice of fantasy fiction.  Man it’s good I’m doing a Midgaheim book next, huh?

@dragonzzilla submitted Scuttlebutt/Argonautilus, a hermit crab kaiju who lives in/with a hollowed out mecha.  That’s a twist I can’t recall ever hearing before, and the idea of a kaiju and a mecha having an equal partnership that doesn’t involve one being grafted to the other is really intriguing to me.  A very unique concept!

@evolutionsvoid submitted Fleagor, an enormous flea who has no idea what to do with itself now that there’s no creature large enough for it to parasitize.  I love that concept - it takes the core idea of the giant bug kaiju archetype (i.e. unsettling the audience by showing how terrifying small, “insignificant” creatures would be if our sizes were reversed) and really turns it on its head.  The name also plays on the Universal Monsters, who were a huge part of 1950′s pop culture thanks to their movies being re-released in that era, so all and all this one is very on brand for ATOM!

@skarmorysilver submitted Lilacorn, another entry that plays up that Midgaheim/ATOM connection.  Reinterpreting the mythological unicorn as an Cenozoic wooly rhinoceros-inspired monster gives it a very unique look, both in ATOM and in the general world of unicorns, and she has a bad-girl with a heart of gold personality to boot!

dracosaurus-rex submitted Florasaura, a two-headed plant/retrosaur hybrid monster.  I love me some plant monsters, I love me some retrosaurs, and I love me some rhyming the word “flora” with other words that contain similar vowell sounds, so this one has me written all over it!

@downtofragglerock submitted Sauroguana, a delightfully odd flying retrosaur.  There’s a great deal of charm to the original illustration that this sketch doesn’t quite capture - it’s a deceptively simple design with a lot of personality in it, and with those unique leg-wings it really doesn’t need a whole lot of frills to stand out.

Draxi submitted Brakan, an unimpressive burrowing retrosaur kaiju whose mastery of illusions allows it to convince other kaiju it’s actually a big, super-powerful badass that’s the ultimate fighter in the universe.  It’s a delightful parody of the concept of a fan self-insert god-mode character, with a really fun story built into it to boot!

@quinnred submitted O.N.I.A.C., a mysterious cocooned kaiju whose chrysalis has been turned into an organic computer of sorts by the people studying it, and seems to possess a fairly advanced intelligence for a kaiju.  It’s a really bizarre and ominous idea, with built in intrigue given how vague its nature is.  Is it just a kaijufied butterfly/moth who got stuck mid transformation?  A relative of the Mothmanuds?  Something else, perhaps equally alien?  Good story potential here.

shadyserpent submitted Vespilitor, a bat/retrosaur hybrid made by the nefarious Spooks Organization.  A mercurial prankster whose tendency to stir up trouble never crosses the line into maliciousness, he’s the kind of monster who would make a great foil to a lot of ATOM’s cast.  I’d especially like to see him in a prank off with Ahuul - it’d be like Bugs Bunny fighting Daffy Duck, but on a kaiju scale.

@multiversefan submitted the Yamaneon King, a nomadic kaiju whose refusal to settle down causes problems as he stirs up trouble at kaiju sanctuaries all over the globe by showing up unannounced and stirring up the locals.  He was basically designed to be a monster that the kaiju sanctuary initiative would struggle to deal with, which is a good idea for a post-ATOM Volume 2 story conflict.

Sir K submitted Jadeera, a kirin kaiju that can actually forcibly convert most of its body to Yamaneon to enter a dormant, statue-like state in a loose homage to King Shisa.  Though the fantasy elements are far more present than I usually prefer for ATOM kaiju, I think it should be noted they’re pushed that far for a purpose - a theme in Jadeera’s entry, which continues where its creator left off with their submission to the previous ATOM create a kaiju contest (Yokaigon), is that the world of kaiju is more complicated and challenging than many are willing to accept, which is a theme in ATOM itself.  Yokaigon’s more supernatural/occult powers are based on the ghost parascience of my setting, which ATOM has delved into a bit (Pathogen being the big example), so it’s not as out of left field as some might think.

@cerothenull​ brings us our final entry (unless some got lost thanks to tumblr’s shitty tagging system), the flying spider Naeranti.  She’s a kaiju spider who uses silk to make complicate hot-air balloons, more or less, and that’s just delightful.  ATOM could always use more spider-monsters, and with a really unique gimmick backing up a wonderfully distinct look, Naeranti is sure to stand out among her fellow giant arachnids.

Well, that’s the roundup!  In a week (or two, depending on how much my hand cramps) we’ll have the five finalists, and sometime after that, the grand prize winner!

[thr-333]

Drastic Measures- Part 5

@daminette-december2019-2020

~Sweater~

Shoves romance to the side and shoves friendship in your face!!!

Ao3

First< Previous > Next

----------

“Marinette,” Adrien whines as she opens the curtain the second they get back, “Sleep,”

“Just a minute, I want to design Damian something,” Marinette takes up residence at the desk, throwing open her sketchbook, “I will be friends with him!”

“Wasn't he kind of a jerk to you?” Adrien flops onto the bed, Plagg rig after him, "I think we should go back to that point, maybe sleep on it,"

“You were a jerk too~” Marinette sing-songs finishing up a rough sketch of a sweater.

“I was trying to get the gum off your seat!” Adrien slams his hands down.

“Sure you were~”

“Mariiiiiii,” Adrien collapses back into the bed covers, muffling his whining.

“Come on you,” Marinette collects her sketchbook, “Come get material with me,”

“No, it’s time to sleep,”

“It’s midday,”

“Your point?”

"Ok, Plagg 2.0 should I get you some camembert while I'm out too?"

"I'm up!" Adrien sits bolt upright, "Never call me that again,"

Marinette ends up dragging Adrien out of the mansion he pouts as Alfred delivers them into the city she thanks him profusely.

“We were just in the city why didn’t you pick up fabric then?” Adrien walks by her side down the street.

“Because I’m stuck between 2 concepts and I need to see the fabric before going forward,” Marinette bounces along looking through the windows there are quite a few craft shops in the area which suits her just fine.

“Please don’t run off,” Adrien gently holds her sleeve, “Marinette this city…”

“It’s filled with a dark energy,” Marinette agrees, even in this nicer area had something ominous hanging over it, “It’s like it’s seeped into the city’s very bones,”

“And the Akuma aren’t helping things,” A child across the street starts crying and they both instinctively lookout.

“On the plus side at least hawkmoth doesn't send Akuma after every little thing,” Marinette forces herself to relax, moving on as the kids parents comfort them.

“On the downside, he sends them after emotions that are a lot worse,” Adrien follows along into a store as Marinette filters through the shelves.

“Maybe but we can handle this,” Marinette absent-mindedly raises her fist, meeting Adreins, “Do you think I should make something for everyone, you know as a thank you?”

“I haven't gotten them anything,” Adrien takes the armful of fabric Marinette passes him as she brings out her sketchbook to select old designs.

“I’ll handle the making,” Marinette ticks off a vest she thinks with be perfect for Bruce, “And you handle the finances,”

“I stole my father's credit card,” Adrien says with a grin, “He’ll probably find out where I am soon anyway so might as well start using it,”

“In that case,” Marinette pulls out a roll of incredibly expensive fabric, “We also need new phones,”

“And we should go out for lunch,”

“Get our hair done?” Marinette adds, looking at her half hacked off hair “I still need to fix mine from this,”

“I was thinking our room could use a chair?”

“And the bookshelf is looking a bit empty,”

“A nice expensive rug would really liven up the room,”

“Would it be completely inappropriate to get a motorcycle?”

“Yes,” Adrien agrees, “Let's do it,”

They stop to get new phones first, having destroyed their old ones when they ran away. Adrien finds the most expensive restaurant in town, but it's on the far end so they stop to get a motorcycle first.

“I didn’t know you could ride,” Adrien gestures for the waiter in their private room, “Yes can I please have the duck?”

“My Nona taught me,” Marinette sips at the most expensive drink she can legally buy, “I thought you hated duck?”

“Oh I do,” Adrien grins, which drops when his phone starts ringing, “How did he even get this number?”

Marinette looks over his shoulder to see Gabriel trying to call. Adrien purposefully hangs up rolling his eyes.

“We should go do our hair next,” Adrien leans over the table with a manic grin, ”I was thinking of dying it hot pink,”

“Love the concept,” Marinette cringes at the very thought, “But the execution is flawed, you need to dye it a color you actually like not one just to spite your father otherwise he's still just controlling your life, just in a different way,”

“You're right,” Adrien sighs leaning back examining his blonde locks, “What do you think?”

“A nice pastel or cherry blossom pink would look amazing,” Adrien perks up at the suggestion he can still keep the pink, “Actually I might do that too- oh wait! Will that affect our transformation?”

“Not unless you really want to deep down,” Tikki explains, her and Plagg gorging themselves on expensive cheese and treats.

“Well deep down I really don't want to give away our identities like this,”

“It’s a plan then,” Adrien smiles, “Now do you want to order anything else?”

“Thanks but I’m full,”

“What's that got to do with anything?”

 ---

 “Looks great Nette,” Adrien gives her a side hug, the hairdresser shooing him away while he does the final touch-ups.

“Are you talking to me or yourself?” Marinette smiles at the new and improved shock of pink hair.

“Well obviously I look fabulous, but you look great too,” Marinette rolls her eyes at him looking back in the mirror. Instead of evening out her hair, they had made it look like her little episode was actually intentional giving it nice layers and even doing an undercut on the other side. Unlike Adrien, she didn't go all pink, instead the tips being white ombre up to pink and then her natural hair color.

“Thanks, you have to send a picture of your hair to Nino he's more invested in your teenage rebellion than you are, he’s probably also hurt you left him out of the running away part,”

“He has suggested, more than once, running away together,”

“Why what's wrong with Nino's family?”

“Nothing at all,” Adrien quickly covers, “I think he just really wanted me to run away, his mum offered to pack us lunches,”

“Well, maybe we could have used the turtle,” Marinette sighs, “But I could do that to Nino, you already had to leave Kagami behind, have you given her a call yet?”

“Oh um, about that-" Adrien points at her tapping his chin thoughtfully, "Never mention it again,”

“Adrien,” Marinette scowls, “Call your girlfriend,”

“She’ll kill me,” Adrien hides partly behind a seat looking meek, “Also you don't get to lecture me, you haven't called your parents,”

“That's different,” Marinette groans sinking into the seat, only to get told off for moving, “They’ll want me to come home, how am I supposed to explain that I can’t,”

“They’re your parents,” Adrien stresses, “I’m sure they’ll be happy enough to know your ok,”

“Maybe,” Marinette hums, the cloth being removed from her shoulders letting her get up, “I just feel so bad for putting them through this,”

“Maybe one day they’ll understand,” Adrien walks with her to the front to pay.

“Maybe,” Marinette looks down at the bill, “Wow this is a lot more expensive than the usual dye job,”

Made sense because they were in the higher income distinct of the city.

“Why Marinette,” Adrien grins swiping the card, “That's the point,”

Ten minutes later they were laughing as calls kept pouring in one after the other. They are only interrupted when they get the distinct feeling of an Akuma.

“Duty calls,” Adrien sighs putting his phone on silent.

“Seems so, at least we can call out skills multiple times," Marinette walks casually into an alley with him, “What are you up to?”

“About three,” Adrien shrugs transforming, “It takes about double the time for the transformation to drop now,”

“Same, wish I could say that gives us the edge but really it only keeps us from falling off the cliff,” Marinette also transforms, her new costume bringing a smile to her face.

“How eloquent my lady,” Marinette playfully pushes him, Chat catches himself catapulting over the building, she quickly follows behind.

The Akuma is standard, Marinette guesses the akumatized item is the wrist watch. The problem comes with their recurring thorn in her side.

“Ladybug-”

“Get out of the city,” She cuts Batman off, “Yeah, yeah let us handle this first,”

Marinette throws her yoyo out just in time to deflect an attack headed at Chat.

“Do you need any help?” Robin asks, Marinette smiles, partly at the aghast face Batman makes.

“Do you think you could tag-team it with me?” She asks formulating a plan, with the extra help she might not need the lucky charm, “Make your attacks big and draw his attention, grab the wristwatch if you can,”

“On it,” Robin gives her a nod jumping into the fray, Ladybug doesn't give batman a chance to object running after.

Robin does a good job they work in perfect sync falling back when the other moves to make an attack. When the Akuma focuses on them too much Chat swoops in and gets their attention giving them the chance to swipe at the wristwatch. It goes on she sees Robin get thrown back after another failed swipe at the wristwatch. Ladybug takes the chance to move forward grabbing for the wrist, she isn't watching out for the other arm, the impact hitting and sending her flying back.

“I got you,” Her momentum is stopped by a hand bracing at her back, saving her from crashing into the adjacent building.

“Thanks, Robin,” He helps steady her as she finds her footing again, “I’ll move in you follow me up,”

“No need,” He smirks brandishing the watch.

“You did it,” Ladybug beams, taking the watch and smashing it to the ground, “Great job!”

“Ah, thanks,” Ladybug doesn't pay attention to how Robin brushes, focusing on purifying the Akuma and fixing the damage.

“We made a pretty good team,” Ladybug turns to Robin when everything is settled, “Pound it,”

Robin meets her fist with some hesitance, which disappears when she smiles at him again.

“Ladybug!” Batman yells heading their way.

“Ops sorry,” Ladybug cringes, “Sorry! Cant stop gotta go, bye bye!”

They run from the scene faster than Batman can hope to catch them. They end up back at her newly brought bike stacked with fabric and protected by a bit of luck. Marinette races home to make everyone's gifts, knowing just who she wanted to start with.

 ---

 “There you are!” Marinette exclaims, having spent the past half hour searching the manor for him.

“What do you want?” Damian snaps as if he wasn't just playing with the cat on the floor half a second ago.

“Nothing, I made something for you~” He continues to scowl but Marinette doesn't let it discourage her, “Here, I didn’t know your size so I made a baggier style, do you like it?”

Damian takes the sweater holding it up to where she put it on him looking down a little shocked. Marinette almost wants to laugh at the expressions trying to shift back from awe to disinterest, it’s cute. She smiles wondering what his face would look like if she made a matching one for the cat, and maybe Titus too.

“.... It’s well made,” Damian eventually allows, folding it over his arm, Marinette notices how his fingers linger on the soft fabric.

“Good to know,” She smiles, bidding him goodbye before the moment can be ruined. She bounces down the hall humming to herself.

“Someone's happy,” Tikki flies out of her bag.

“He liked it, why wouldn't I be happy?”

“Someones really happy,”

“Stop it Tikki,” Marinette giggles, making the kwami laugh in turn.

“Just like adrien~” Tikki sing songs floating down the hall ahead of her.

“Well then, keep Kagami far away from this one,”

“Don’t turn into a stuttering mess and we have a deal,” Tikki agrees.

“Please Tikki I’m not thirteen anymore,” Marinette brushes her off, ready to go make the others gifts, if she spent the whole time humming to herself Tikki wasn't going to explain why to Adrien.

---------

Taglist? nope don’t have one, horrible at keeping track of them sorry~

[jengarie]

#showyourprocess !

From planning to posting, share your process for making creative content!

To continue supporting content makers, this tag game is meant to show the entire process of making creative content: this can be for any creation.

RULES — When your work is tagged, show the process of its creation from planning to posting, then tag up to 5 people with a specific link to one of their creative works you’d like to see the process of. Use the tag #showyourprocess so we can find yours!

Thank you, @rinielle for tagging me! She chose the piece above (original post), and oh boy this one was a whole ass rollercoaster ride! Unfortunately, I hadn't turned on the timelapse feature for this but I'll try to go through each part of the process as best as I can!

The photos I'm gonna upload are gonna be a mix of screenshots and literal photos of my screen, because I'm taking some of them from my updates to friends, since a lot of the steps got lost in my painting process.

But before that, let me tag some other amazing creators!

@dragonji: this gif art!

@candicewright: this yibo painting!

@wendashanren: this gifset!

@mylastbraincql: this gif!

I haven't been able to keep track of who's been tagged so apologies if you've already done this! Also, no pressure to do it at all if you would rather not! <3

Planning

Sometimes, I get an idea first and find reference photos to go with that idea. But for this one, I sought out a reference photo first, and built an idea on top of it!

After that, I roughly sketch out the base pose. Usually, this looks very messy, but it doesn't really matter as long as I understand which part goes where!

The idea for the background didn't really come until the creation process because I don't think I really planned this to be a full piece.

Creation

Sketching

Honestly, from this point on, it's more of trial and error.

So, I redid the the initial base pose—made it cleaner and a little bit more detailed. See: the added definition in their arm muscles, the rearrangement of Wei Wuxian's legs, and Lan Wangji's hand on Wei Wuxian's back. If you look at the second photo, I also changed the pose a bit midway—I tend to edit as I go sometimes when I change my mind. (For this, I thought, given the Lan arm strength, it would be better to make Lan Wangji look more at ease carrying Wei Wuxian. This gets covered by the robes anyway though, so it didn't matter much in the end.)

I also started adding details to the base! I usually start with the face and then the hair! I usually go for the clothes next, but I dreaded the robes in this piece so I guess that's why I ended up with a basic idea of what I wanted for the background instead LOL I also figured out how I want the final crop to look like, so I blocked out all the other areas with an extra layer!

Okay, onto the part that killed me like ten times: the robes. There are a lot of interactions between their robes here given their pose, and not to mention they also have layers upon layers on each of them! So, to maintain my sanity and to keep track of which part is which, I color coded them into the most colorful sketch I've ever made.

Another reason why I filled in each layer of robe with a solid block of color, is so that all the lines underneath gets covered. Without all of the colors, the actual outline actually looks like the one on the right. What a nightmare!

I also ignored the crop again for this part, because it's always better to draw past your borders, in case you decide to rotate or tilt or whatever your piece later on. I didn't do the feet anymore though, because that I was sure wouldn't show in the final piece anymore.

After that, I did the sketch one more time and then started adding the base colors. (I didn't have a screenshot of just the base colors, and the final CSP file is a nightmare so I copy pasted the layers into a new canvas to show you guys :') )

By the way, I drew their robes flowing this way, because I wanted it to frame the lower arch of the moon behind them for the composition. It was a little frustrating that I couldn't get Lan Wangji's robes a little higher because of Wei Wuxian's legs but I later filled in the empty space with his forehead ribbon anyway, so it all worked out in the end!

Painting

Because apparently, I was a masochist back then, I merged the base colors all into one layer and started adding shadows to the robes. (These days, I add shadows first and then, merge. It's much easier this way.)

And then, I started painting! Again, I did the face first and then the hair, before finally the robes. This was my first time painting side profiles and honestly it was quite a pain to figure out LOL but !!! I think I did a good job and I'm proud of how it turned out. I again used reference photos for this one but I can't link any because they were just several random Pinterest photos that I didn't save.

Another thing to note is that I use the mesh transform tool a lot, especially on faces. That's largely why Lan Wangji's face looks so different in the latter two!

And then I went with the robes. Somewhere along the way, I realized I didn't like how I planned to do Lan Wangji's sleeves and the flowy part of Wei Wuxian's robes and I... decided, with much dread, to do them over. So I sketched on top of the painted layers and redid the robes, again.

It was at this point that I decided to take a break from this piece because it was honestly very draining! I think it took about three weeks before I decided to open the file again and continue it.

When I did, I just finished painting the rest of the robes and their hands. The blue details on Lan Wangji's outer robes were painted on a separate layer that I put on Multiply. I probably did more adjustments to the face and hair and stuff, because my painting process is honestly a mess :')

Final Adjustments

I added some correction layers on certain areas to fix some of the colors. See: Lan Wangji's sleeve becoming much brighter and paler; Wei Wuxian's legs having less contrast. And then I merged all of the layers (excluding the background) and added a bit of blur. See: Wei Wuxian's ponytail; the entire lower part; the flowing forehead ribbon. My reasoning for this is so that most of the detail (and therefore the flow of the eye) goes to their faces and expressions!

And then, I put a blue Overlay layer on low opacity to make Wangxian blend better with the background, added a bit of shadow on the inside and the lower sections and added the glowing details for the added flair. I initially wanted sparkles and/or stars but they didn't turn out as well as this did. I also upped the contrast by a little for the entire piece!

Aaaand, that's it! In truth, I did a bit more color adjustments to the whole piece, but I was a dummy who forgot to turn them back on before posting so ... oh well.

Posting

Before posting, I upload it either on my spare private Twitter account or on a drafted Tumblr post so I can check the colors on my phone. This is because the colors on different devices can look very different, and I would at the very least want all my pieces to look nice on both of my devices!

And then, once I deem it satisfactory, I just try to think of a caption and post! Some artists wait for a certain time where most of their followers are active, but I didn't have a lot of MDZS followers at this point so it didn't really matter to me.

It still doesn't really; I haven't actually been able to figure out when my MDZS followers are awake even now.

[saikagerights]

Newlyweds- A Saiino Fanfiction

Gee has this idea transformed into its own monster. Last week I had the idea of writing out a few headcanons about Sai that were meant to be separated from the journal, which is also the reason why I haven’t updated.

It is still coming btw, I just wanted it to write this out first. This fic had started out as a few ramblings, so I personally had problems with structure. Luckily, I found my way through and made a cohesive story.

Anyway, I had to restructure this so many times, but I was hoping to use this as a way to cheer up @bauschblog. I hope it doesn’t look rushed.

Hope you enjoy!

*edit. I wrote and posted this days ago, but it never appeared in the tags, so I am posting a second time and deleting the first post. Thank you for your patience

Also available on AO3

If you ever asked Ino if she got what she wanted in life, then you would receive a yes and a no.

She was now as happy as she could be, newly married to who she would’ve called a literal dream years ago. A gorgeous man willing to walk to the ends of the Earth for her.

But that happiness was derived from pain and loss. She would never be able to share that happiness with her father, and she now shared the burdens of her husband, who had lost more than anyone else she knew.

But that didn’t make her love him any less.

Sai was a far cry from the young man she met. Over the years he had learned more and more about the bonds and emotions he had lost, many things she taught him first hand, and she couldn’t be more proud of his progress.

He was once empty, but now it was her job to fill him with as much love and care she could muster. And that’s what she found herself doing, seated beside him and resting her head against his left shoulder as he was immersed in a new sketch. This time it was a pot of primroses he had gathered from the shop below him. She secretly hoped it was a gift for her, as he would occasionally drop his pencil to awkwardly stroke at her head.

Observing his quiet focus made her reflect on her marriage so far. It had only been a month since their wedding, so she had yet to come down completely from cloud nine and she was sure that Sai was feeling something similar. Although it might be starkly different from hers. It didn’t take that long for them to marry either. They still had a lot of time ahead of them, and Ino was delighted to discover more about her enigmatic love.

Part of her joy came from observing common quirks that only a wife could. Like how he was so meticulously organized with his supplies but still fumbled with arrangements in the shop. Or how he’d gently stroke her face when he had to work early, not attentive enough to realize that she was only feigning sleep.

The amount of love she had for her new husband was immeasurable , but with the discovery of these cute habits only came the realization of darker secrets.

Sai was unresponsive at times.

When she would call out to him and would receive nothing but silence in return. It wasn’t as if he was ignoring her, he was simply far into the depths of his own mind.

She then tried to gently repeat her call. And if that didn’t work, her volume would increase, tone sharp and direct. That would usually do the trick and her husband’s head would snap towards her, indicating that she now had his full attention. He’d give a soft hum of inquiry, then his eyes would shamefully cast downward as it dawned upon him that he had done it again.

Ino knew that this was a common occurrence of those in her field of work, especially those who have seen war. There were times when she felt as if father’s guidance was needed more than ever, like on days when the responsibility of leading her clan had weighed most on her. But Sai wasn’t like most shinobi, something that she was reminded of every day. He had made leaps and bounds with his ability to express himself, but there were some things that couldn’t be improved with just awareness and lessons on sociality.

Just like how his fingers would flex and he would grasp at air in moments of silence as if they yearned for something to feel secure. Her left hand would gladly supplement the presence of his brush when he needed it most. In private she would allow him to let his itching fingers run through her long bright blond hair, rubbing the ends of strands between the pads of his thumb and index finger until he was content. His hands would then begin to wander to other parts of her body, desire beginning to cloud his mind and slowly overtake him until he wrapped her up into it.

Ino could hardly articulate how wonderful it felt for him to be able to physically love her. It seemed so long ago when he’d freeze up any time she touched him, but now he was capable of proving to her that his natural instincts were that of any man. She adored nights of tangled limbs and resting on his still heaving chest that took it’s time to settle into a steady rhythm as he drifted into a blissful and dreamless slumber.

Without the exhaustion and comfort that came from sex, Sai was probably the most restless sleeper imaginable. The smallest rustle or bump in the night would force him awake, as if alerted to a nearby enemy. It was a stark contrast from how she slept on missions as a genin, among two of the heaviest sleepers in the entire world. But even then, she felt that neither her or her boys could sleep as soundly as they used to. Unrest and insomnia were another common trait for experienced shinobi, which tended to be spurred on by night terrors.

The first one she experienced with him was shortly after he moved in with her, frightened awake at the feeling of arms constricting her body and hands grasping brutishly at the fabric of her night shirt. The loud air-starved noise her throat produced was enough to yank him from his subconscious, jerking away from her. Ino couldn’t see Sai’s hunched form sitting on the edge of the bed that clearly in the dark, but she could very well hear his slightly ragged breathing tear through the silence. He was too far from her to reach with a soft call, frozen in place with his head in his hands. As desperate as she was to reach out to him, she knew that she had to be cautious when dealing with him in this state. Testing the waters, she placed a hand on his shoulder. She felt a shiver coarse through his body upon the contact, so she gave him time to get used to the touch. She gradually added to that, scooting her body over to him so that she sat behind him, legs dangling off the bed encompassing his. She waited once more until his breathing settled before she fully took the plunge, resting her chest on his sweat soaked back and wrapping her arms around his torso.

After that incident, Sai had admitted to her that these dreams had become common shortly after their mission in the Land of Silence, serving as another hangoff from Gengo. Ino could never forgive that man for taking advantage of her Sai like that and even a year later he is still experiencing effects from his influence. The same could be said about Danzo, who’s authority still had her husband within its grasp even in death. She believed that the more in touch with his emotion Sai became, the more likely his sense of duty were to weigh on him like this, only to lead to more nightmares.

Ino wasn’t sure how often Sai experienced them, but she knew that it was difficult for him to return to sleep, as she often awoke to him intently staring at her or even missing from bed completely. The panic that settled into her chest would quickly be dispersed when she felt his presence still within their walls. It had become a routine of hers to search for him and use all of her power of suggestion to get him back into bed.

The worst kind of nights were when soft words and kisses were simply not enough and he pleaded for her to return to bed alone that night.

As much as she worried for his well being, there were selfish reasons behind her insistence. She realized early on that she couldn’t sleep soundly without him beside her and it had only comforted her further when he had assured her in his own way that she was “imperative in improving his sleep practices since they began their courtship.”

Crowds were also a struggle for him. This was something she learned after attending weddings attached by the hand. Upon arrival, his body tensed beside her and his eyes darted around as if surveying the area for possible threats. It couldn’t be helped when they suddenly became the center of attention. A quick squeeze of the hand would direct his eyes down to her and the glance she cast that was meant to keep him cemented in the atmosphere. With that, he would relax into a comfortable vigilance for the rest of the event as he partook in festivities. They would later find a secluded place to exist frozen in time while the rest of the world persisted. It seemed as if his introverted nature had only complemented her extroverted status in times like that.

Not everyone could understand this, though. The prospect of marrying Sai came at the cost of angering her clan’s elders. After the mysterious fate of Fuu had been revealed to her clan, they immediately dismissed the idea of their next patriarch being another member of Danzo’s ranks. But for all she was concerned, she was marrying Sai whether they liked it or not. Luckily for her, the entire Ino-Shika-Cho trio had all decided their betrothed to be from beyond the realm of tradition, In a political sense, the Yamanaka clan elders couldn’t complain about foriegn affairs like the Nara and Akimichi clan, making Sai the lesser of three evils in this case. They accepted the union only on the condition that they regulate his responsibilities as the newly dubbed patriarch. He accepted this condition with no question, and Ino was concerned to find him reading through every little stipulation with a critical eye.

“It is not that I am finding a reason to oppose marriage. I simply want to satisfy them so I can make you happy.”

She wanted to argue that it didn’t matter what the elders thought of them, but she was too moved by his determination to appease her that she didn’t dare complain.

But alas this couldn’t ease her worries over what came next.

The baby.

There wasn’t a physical baby in question, but there would be soon enough.

She was the clan’s matriarch just as she was its leader, which meant her responsibility was the same as it had always been. She had to produce an heir to continue her bloodline along with all of the values and traditions that she had been granted by her father. It would seem strange to any woman to just accept the decision of becoming a mother made well in advance, but it wasn’t just for the sake of her family. She wanted this as well, and the idea of raising a child with Sai made her heart race.

But she still wasn’t sure how Sai really felt about it all. She had been abundantly clear about this back when they had started dating, as she was already sure that the man would be the father of her children. But Sai was an objective man who was raised on the value of having a purpose to serve, and she was afraid that he took this as another objective, which was confirmed by his statement.

“I vow to uphold this responsibility.”

She still hadn’t gathered the courage to have that conversation yet. To properly tell him that raising a child was more than just another task to complete. There was emotional value that came alongside the immense responsibility and hardships, and Sai had to be ready to adapt to that, especially when it was barreling toward them with every passing day. She could allow him to look through books when the time came like he always did, but a good wife would at least try to give some perspective for him in a way he could understand.

It seemed like now was as good a time as any, when they were both sitting around in a blissful silence like this. Oh how she hated to break up a moment to bring up something awkward, but it had to be mentioned or she would never get her peace.

“Darling.”

The word seemed almost accidental, as it came out only a little bit above a whisper

She was dreadfully wrong to expect a non committed response from him, as he directed his head away from his sketchpad to look down at her, the lightest flicker of worry lining his features.

“Is everything alright? A soft voice from you usually means there is something wrong.”

She hated when he figured her out so easily. What happened to that clueless man she married?

“Is it so out of the ordinary for me to be nice to you?” She shifted her gaze to the wall. Her eyes narrowed, but she was unable to focus on anything in particular. “You must think I’m a monster or something.”

She waited for his hastened apology for misunderstanding, but was surprised to find him still staring at her when she pulled her eyes back up to him.

She clicked her tongue when he didn’t respond in the way she wanted. She wasn’t going to be able to avoid this any longer. She huffed out a sigh.

“It’s about the baby.”

“You want to conceive now?” His response was so immediate it was almost as if he had it on standby. The bubble of laughter that escaped her lips caught her off-guard.

There it was. The quickfire statement that was capable of ruining any conversation. It was almost as if that answer actually comforted her.

She swatted his shoulder, laughter dying down. “Of course not, you lech!” She returned to her previous position leaned against his shoulder. “You know it’s still too soon for that. We all have to meet about that, remember?”

His attention was then brought back to his drawing with a hum of agreement. That wasn’t able to conceal the blush that found its way to his cheeks, she noticed. Changing the topic to sex would be a good way to end the conversation, but no. She had to ask him.

“How do you feel about all of this?”

He pondered for a moment, looking down at his drawing as if there was something wrong with it. A crooked line or a misplaced shadow.

“I promised you I would uphold your obligation.”

“Sai, that’s no-”

“But I am still unsure if I have what it takes to be a father.” He interrupted her, unaware that he had just bewildered her.

“From the knowledge I’ve attained. Successfully raising a child means meeting their emotional needs along with their physical needs. It isn’t just about helping them survive, it’s also about giving them support and guidance as they develop into a person. It seems so complicated, but it’s supposed to be natural.”

Ino stared in awe at his ramblings. He really did understand.

His obsidian eyes suddenly targeted her, startling her from her stupor.

“I don’t know how I can do that for a child the way that I am. I hardly have the instincts of a normal person, let alone a father. I don’t have many positive childhood experiences to pass onto a child. But I will try my hardest.”

“Sai…” Ino was left speechless and sputtering. Sai understood everything. In fact, he held the same issues that she held. The worry drained from her mind, leaving her with pangs of guilt for underestimating him. She wondered where he found his conclusion. Surely no single book would be able to articulate that point to him.

“Naruto has confided me a lot these past few months about Hinata’s pregnancy. He is afraid that he won’t meet the standards of a good father because of his lack of fatherly figures growing up. I-”

He paused, finally noticing clear eyes focused intently on him, hanging onto every word. Sai centered his head forward to divert himself away from her immense pressure before continuing.

“I also am afraid that I don’t have a good reference for fatherly behavior. I’d hate for my child to withstand the same experiences as me, so I did more research and found-”

Her husband halted once more when he heard her sniffle. His head snapped in her direction to find tears clouding her eyes.

“It’s okay if that’s how you feel.” Ino choked on her words, trying to hold her husband in place with her hands on his cheeks. “That’s why we have to figure it out together.” She struggled to hold back a sob that was only freed when Sai brought a hand up to swipe away her tears.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this?!” Her shout was uncontrollable, as now she was wailing into her husband’s chest. Ino knew he was probably confused that the conversation took this turn, but she did appreciate that he still tried to sooth her with warm hands running along her back. He patiently waited until her sobs quieted before answering.

“I already promised you and I will try my hardest to fulfill that promise. I didn’t think I needed to doubt that.”

“What?!” Ino cried incredulously. She jerked away from him to stare him down, making zero attempt to conceal her dripping face. “I’m your WIFE! I’m supposed to know these things so I can help you!” She gripped both of his hands, bringing her knuckles together, voice softening once more.

“I was afraid you didn’t fully understand what we are up against.” Her eyes  dropped down to their conjoined hands.

“I apologize for the misunderstanding. I just want to be ready so I can support you when the time comes. The last thing I wish for is to make you worry about me.”

Her face scrunched up into a pout as she unhanded him to wipe at her face. “You idiot, I will always worry about you. And besides, no one can ever be ready for children. The only way this will work is if we are open and honest about this. I’m scared about this too, you know?”

His hands rose in front of his chest in surrender to her will. It was relieving to know that he still knew his place.

“From now on, we will tell each other all of our insecurities about this matter.”

Sai blinked, slowly realizing what that entailed.

“E-Everything?”

“Yup, everything. It doesn’t matter if you didn’t grow up with a father. Not every parent is the same. I think you’ll be great.” She closed her eyes as she continued. “ And if you are really struggling, then I can tell you all about what dad used to do with me.”

Ino’s chest swelled with pride at that, impressing herself with how well she handled that.

“I would love that!”

Her eyes slipped open to reveal a rather enthusiastic smile blooming on his face. It made her melt to see how far that smile had come. It seemed her influence also affected his charms as well.

He suddenly raised from the sofa before scooping her up into his arms. Ino panicked at the look on his face transformed before her. His eyes lidded into a trademark squint and his one sweet smile became a teeth bearing grin.

“Wh-What do you think you’re doing?!” She sputtered. Her panic increased as he had now abandoned the room . He hummed at that as they turned the corner towards their bedroom. Never a good sign.

“I know you said we had to wait, but I figured that we could perhaps get a head start.”

“Sai, wait-!”

They would be just fine. She just knew it.

[bluemoon-writer]

Time Management

In which Marinette Gets Her Shit Together

girl has a lot on her plate

so she has to work on some major time management

starting with what is most important

-first is school

She has to get good grades so she can get in to the design school she wants. All her extracurriculars won’t be shit if her grades are bad

so she asks her teachers if she can get a list of the assignments that will be due throughout the year (and uses a bit of her power as class president to convince them that she should know)

then she get a filing cabinet and gets to work

each cabinet is a class, which is organized by month

Marinette obviously can’t do all of her homework for the year over one weekend (some, like math, she can’t do very far in ahead either)

but it’s a four day weekend and she dedicates the first day to getting the first two weeks of homework done and safely filed to be turned in later

-then, it’s time to plan out the rest of her homework.

she can’t do her math homework very far in advance because otherwise she’d have to teach herself the math with would be more time consuming

however, most math assignments only take 20 minutes so she can easily do them during lunch if she wants

she continues to try and keep ahead on her other assignments so she’s covered if there’s ever an akuma attack that doesn’t give her time for homework or if she’s just too busy one day then she won’t have to worry because most of her homework is done

-the biggest thing is getting a head start on the projects

by the end of the weekend she was able to come up with a plan of what she wanted to do for all of them

then she looked for other assignments that weren’t big projects but would require a little planning

the third day of her long weekend she made a calendar, detailing when each assignment was due and when tests were. Later she’d add in events and commissions

-Then she has to figure out her responsibilities as Class President

-She has to meet once a week at lunch with the other class reps and the Principal to discuss any new policies or events going on

As Francois DuPont is a private school each class is suppose to hold a fundraiser each semester

(The Mayor and Gabriel Agreste would NEVER send their kids to a public school, you can fight me on this lol)

The class reps plan the school dance, spirit week, and any other schoolwide activities

Class Reps also have the responsibility of making proposals to improve things at the school based on what the people in their class want

And the class rep should plan at least one class activity a semester

(Things might be different in France, but I’m just going off what I did as part of student council in high school)

-Marinette decides on putting up a suggestion box in Ms. Bustier’s room for two weeks so that the class can decide on what they’d most like her to focus on fixing

Then, she’ll weed out the impossible suggestions and the joke suggestions and let the class vote on which options they think are the most important

For the fundraiser, to avoid too much class arguments, she proposes a few options and lets the class vote on them

Her favorite one is the bake sale, her papa offered to let the class come and use the bakery to make and sell the desserts, so she pushes for that one

and the class agrees because it seems like the least amount of work

For class activity, Marinette plans two. One from a list of ideas she proposes and lets the class vote on, and one that is picked by the class placing suggestions in the suggestion box and then voting on it.

Marinette knew she was going to be placed on the design committee when it comes to planning the dance, so she sketches a few designs for a theme to show the reps when they eventually start discussing the dance

-Then number #3 is her passion, design. She’ll need a portfolio for design school

She picks a few projects for herself that she wants to make and think will look good on a portfolio

then she sets up a website for commissions. Relatively low prices for simple things. She’ll sketch just about anything for €10-30 as long as it’s not too big. Color it for another €10-25

She can design and make simple clothes and jewelry. She prefers not to do anything too complicated as a commission bc it’ll just take too much time

She can also do odder comissions, like design furniture (she can’t build it) or tattoos (she can’t tattoo them either lol) she gets a commission to design a really dope sword, and another one to help someone (her age) reorganize their bedroom

starting out is a bit rough, because she needs money to buy supplies to make examples to post on her website and she needs money to pay for the website

so she decides to work in the bakery for an hour or two in the morning

(at least now she doesn’t have to worry about being late to school)

her dad respects that she’s working for the money instead of asking for it and pays her €12/hour bc her help in the morning allows him to almost double the amount of pasteries he makes

(Side note: I have no idea what the minimum wage per Hour in France is bc when I googled it it gave me the minimum wage per month and I have no clue how to convert that to an hourly wage)

So Marinette is able to make €60-120 a week for supplies

The bakery is open 7 days a week, but Marinette only helps out 3-5 days a week. She still likes sleeping in

even when her website kicks off (with a little help from a Jagged Stone commission) she still helps out in the bakery once or twice a week bc she likes spending time with her dad

-But with her schedule more organized she is able to get to bed earlier. She aims for 9pm if she’s getting up at 5am to help her dad

if she’s not she’ll stay up until 10/11pm and get up around 7am

those are the nights she usually does patrol with Chat Noir

ideally, she’d like to patrol more, but it doesn’t do much. Hawkmoth almost never sends an akuma while their patrolling, so they limit their patrols to once a week.

-Marinette can’t do much planning for Ladybug. When an akuma appears she has to transform to take care of it.

Which is what inspired her to reorganize her life and activities

One akuma can cause her to fall behind in so many things, so it’s vital for her to be on top of and ahead of schedule in everything

she does come up with a list of excuses to get away if there’s an akuma.

-at school she proposes an “akuma protocol” to get the students to safety in case an akuma attacks

-everyone is supposed to go to the basement, and class reps are responsible for double checking to make sure no ones left upstairs

this gives Marinette the perfect excuse to get away while at school

makes it a bit of a pain in the ass for Adrien though. Of course, Marinette doesn’t know that

-(eventually, Adrien suggest that there should be a president and a Vice President for each class. The Principal agrees to the suggestion and Adrien runs for Vice President so he has an easier time of getting away during akuma attacks)

Marinette almost had a heart attack when they start working together to plan events

Adrien is very impressed by how organized Mari is

she even schedules time to hang out with her friends (usually on the weekends)

though impromptu hangouts often occur

-now that Marinette’s getting a proper amount of sleep everything she does seems better

-She’s never late to school in the morning, she doesn’t fall asleep in class, her notes make more sense, she better understands what’s happening, which means her grades improve, and she seems to be able to remember things better, she even feels less stressed

-----

This was inspired by a stress management course I had to sit through for one of the clubs I’m in. The lady presenting told us that a lot of our problems are caused by a lack of sleep. A full night of sleep is vital for relieving stress and improving your memory apparently.

If you want to be added to a tag list let me know. I have two right now, one for anything miraculous ladybug related, and one specifically for the Childhood Friends AU, I’ll be posting part 3 of MariKim later tonight or tomorrow morning and one for Max and Markov. 

Find Part 1 of the Childhood Friends AU here.

[love-takes-work]

Steven Universe: Art and Origins (Outline & Review)

Steven Universe: Art and Origins is not just an art book--it's also a collection of early material, a reveal of many initial concepts, and an amazing experience to sort through. 

Finally getting around to importing my review to Tumblr. I wrote this on the release day.

In my review I'll give you a description of the structure and overview, while also collecting notable information for fans. Obviously just about everything is "notable" with a book of this magnitude, so this may get long, but I'll try to include anecdotes that have some unique insight or perspective on the main source material--with as little of "OMG this was the original idea for this!" as possible.

This is illustrated with some low-quality pictures of the book and it gets super long, so I have to cut. But please read. :)

The overview:

After a foreword from Rebecca Sugar and an introduction from Genndy Tartakovsky, we get:

Part 1: Origins. This contains some narratives about Rebecca Sugar's early life as an artist--inspiration, family, college projects--all illustrated, of course, with childhood photos and early art. Rebecca mentions having wanted to bury her femininity for a while, but coming back to draw female forms and include dancing after she learned to sort through her issues using art.

Her college education and connections with other artists are discussed--some in interview format, some in narrative--and there is some background regarding her time on Adventure Time. The story moves on to talking about developing the pilot and what went into her character and plot ideas. Character design is discussed in depth, with Rebecca giving initial sketches to a design team and developing the characters' initial pilot look. 

Some really slick promo art is shared--posters, sketches, great concepts that were designed to bring in new viewers and make them curious about the show. The pilot succeeded in getting the green light to develop it into a TV series.

Part 2 discusses the show's Green Light and Development. Rebecca and some of the other crew, in interview format, talk about getting the team together and allowing for both nailed-down character essentials and flexibility for the writers to explore and collaborate. Developing the setting was also a big part of the to-do list; coming up with Beach City itself, its businesses, its residents, and also the creatures the Gems would fight. 

Some cute stories are shared about the early Crewniverse hanging out at a cabin and talking about the show all the time, hashing it out. There are some great, loose character model sheets for early versions of Greg, Connie, Sadie and Lars, and the four main characters.

Part 3 is about Character Design. They discuss how the pilot got released and fans grew attached to what they initially looked like, only to be "outraged" by the changes, making tons of assumptions about who was controlling the process. 

Rebecca shares some thoughts on her development process and her philosophy on letting different artists draw the characters differently while gripping onto specifics she set. Main, palette, and distance models are discussed, with some technical details of what different artists do on the team and how they handle props or special poses. 

There are many sheets of how to draw the Gems on model (with pointers on what NOT to do), and then there are some Homeworld Gem ideas that didn't get used, and finally, some sketches and concept art for Lapis Lazuli, Peridot, Jasper, and Bismuth.

Part 4 is on Writing and Storyboarding. More Crewniverse interviews provide insight into the process, including how much is revised from the early days and how collaborative everything is. Some specific episodes, like "Ocean Gem," "Monster Buddies," and "Island Adventure" are put into perspective with how they were written by the group. 

There's heavy discussion of how the process works and why processes that work on other shows wouldn't work here, and what "rules" are firm and what's just a suggestion, and what's changed as the show's plot became more complex and important. Steven still having access to the "side" stories, the ones that involve Beach City humans and non-world-shaking stakes, is still very important to the story that the original Crew wants to tell. Cute images from the Crew's thumbnail storyboards, Gem designing, and technology designing workshops are shared too.

There's some good continued discussion of concepts in Part 4, especially about fusion and relationships and the larger message the show is sending. How do you tell a story and why? There are many answers to that, and sometimes it's about fun and sometimes it's about a message and sometimes it's about wanting to make an episode about something you've never seen a cartoon do before--something specific to you that other people can suddenly see represented. 

One of my favorite parts of it is when they discuss Steven discovering the Gems' weaknesses over time and having that NOT make him think less of them--more like he admires them for being strong enough to shoulder the burdens he didn't know they were carrying before. Storyboarder Lamar Abrams talks about the importance of growing up not just being about becoming bitter, and I really like that.

Part 5 is on Sound and Vision. There's some history of how they found the voice actors for the major roles, and some of the actors give perspectives on their relationship and experience on the show. 

Aivi and Surasshu, as the composers, discuss their process as well, with some anecdotes and discussions of why musical palettes work better for characters instead of assigning them themes. Places and objects have their own sounds too.

Part 6 covers Background Design and Painting. Steven Sugar takes the stage and explains general background thoughts as well as specifics for certain settings. His focus on detail is really fascinating to read about--it's really him who nails down the locations in Beach City and where an outlet is in a house on the wall. 

The directors and other Crewniverse folks discuss the use of color and background items in the show, and how they use it to create mood or feel changeable enough to be real.

Part 7 discusses Animation and Post, with a spotlight on the work they do in Korea at animation studios Sunmin and Rough Draft. The process is described--how and when the material is transformed from animatics to animated cartoons. 

Nick DeMayo discusses timing and adding the sound effects and whatnot. There's also some design instruction that's provided to the animators in Korea. 

Some special highlighted drawings and pieces, like the "C.L.O.D.S." zine or some keys for Ruby and Sapphire, are included. 

Even the bumpers and end tag animations are discussed here. And of course they had to mention a couple very special episodes, such as when Takafumi Hori from Studio Trigger came in to do "Mindful Education," or when they did the musical episode, "Mr. Greg."

And Part 8 is called "Onward." The intention of the section is unclear at first based on the title of the chapter, but you can quickly see they're discussing the forward-thinking message the show has--how its representation of its creators' experiences has also struck a chord with people who wanted and NEEDED its diversity. 

Zuke says a very wise thing when they state that they want the show to provide "insight . . . not a solution." That's one thing this show does well; it spotlights problems and situations and feelings, but only shows you how those things can be dealt with, not necessarily how they SHOULD, in all cases, be dealt with.

Representation matters, and seeing evidence that you are a part of this world when you're from a marginalized or underrepresented group is valuable in a way that you can only know if you DON'T have it. 

The show's writers also weigh in on good vs. evil and how it's too black and white; that we needed a show with nuance, and has a message of love and tolerance. Kat Morris acknowledges that there are more important things than making a feelsy and entertaining piece of media, but as she says, the point is to let people see themselves in something and be challenged. 

And the creators are able to see at conventions and online that people are responding emotionally, viscerally, to their work. It puts a lot of pressure on an artist to do it right, but in the words of Dogcopter, "Just be true to yourself and people will appreciate your honesty."

The book closes with some photos of the Crew and a few more pages of art. And it kinda leaves you with a squishy feeling. :D

Notable:

1. I was relieved to see Rebecca state it plainly in the foreword: the items you see from the development phases of this show are not to be taken as canon or as "real" insights into how you should interpret it now. She specifically mentioned that she does not consider the Gems "girls" or "goddesses," and that was particularly important to me. 

Throughout, you're supposed to see the contributed bits and in-development pieces in the context of what they were: early drafts, embryonic. We all become different from what we were even though we grew from it and may have roots in it still, but that doesn't mean you can point at the seed and say its flower is meant to be understood surrounded by dirt.

2. The original designs for the Gems fluctuated a lot, and in a couple cases even names flopped around. An early name for Garnet was "Onyx," and if you've seen the pilot, you know Pearl got her signature nose later and Garnet's hair took a while to become the splendid square afro. Amethyst seems to have changed the least. 

Themes were given to them initially (like Amethyst being "flora and fauna," which you can sort of see in her pilot intro with her lying on big cats). You can still see some of the original intentions in how the ideas manifested, but the first ideas do not gel particularly well with what the show became. 

This is particularly interesting because non-creatives commonly think creative people simply receive inspiration and birth their creations into the world wholesale. Inspiration exists, but it's much more common to take an inspired idea and REALLY WORK ON IT. This book's origins section does a great job showing how that works.

3. Some early sketched-out ideas for episodes seem very far from what would fit into the show now (such as an idea for an episode where Pearl is obsessed with the pizza guy??), but one seems to be the roots of "Bubble Buddies," which implies that Steven's original crush was "Priyanka" instead of Connie. (That's now Connie's mother's name.)

4. The pilot's title was "The Time Thing."

5. Initial notes for Garnet say she should have the coolest shoes of the three, that she's commanding and outer-spacey and also weird, and that she's inspired by Grace Jones, boy Michael Jackson, and Estelle in "I Can Be a Freak." 

Initial notes for Amethyst insist on the "fanny pack" pouch and suggest her clothes are cut, her hair is in chunks, and she should have an animal theme with a wild texture. 

Initial notes for Pearl indicate a desire to have her opposite Amethyst in her formal way of dressing and needing to have an outfit that would allow her to be hung upside down, possibly with a pearl stone theme for baubles in her hair. (Rebecca indicated she needed the most help with Pearl.)

6. Early versions of the show included the idea that the Gems might be trying to hide being Gems in public, and that they kept magic away from Steven for the most part instead of encouraging him to use it. 

A "lost" episode about Steven summoning his shield (later incorporated into the episode "Gem Glow") had him saving Greg with it and dreaming about his mother, and having Pearl drive a crappy old car (later incorporated into "Last One Out of Beach City"). Rebecca and Ian reveal that the dream Steven had in it was used a little in "Rose's Room," and that a song called "The Meatball Sub Song" was involved which could have contributed to the show getting picked up despite that we never got to hear it. (Imagine that, Steven singing about food!)

7. There's a note in the early character design section that says "the girls can all turn into Steven" with an accompanying illustration of Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl shapeshifted as him. 

Cute, because we actually got to see them do this in the episode "Keep Beach City Weird" with the exception of Pearl.

8. Rebecca Sugar shares an anecdote about thinking there was a "best" way to draw that was objectively correct (influenced by some art-school stuff), and through that she arrived at the idea that Pearl was a cone, Amethyst was a sphere, and Garnet was a cube, because all of those things say something about who they are (pointedness, fluidness, stability). 

She evolved from that idea to a more flexibile idea of how drawing works for different artists, but that was part of what helped her nail the characters down. Steven, eventually, was fixed to having a heart-shaped face.

9. The Tiger Millionaire and Purple Puma flyer shown in the episode "Tiger Millionaire," presented as something Steven drew, was actually drawn by Lily DeMayo (daughter of Nick DeMayo, animation director) when she was seven.

10. Guides are made for the Crew to use featuring reminders on drawing the characters. It's kind of adorable to see common drawing errors or misconceptions or inconsistent details discussed in a how-to format for the people who actually work there.

11. A timeline exists for the show and it encompasses TWENTY THOUSAND YEARS of Gem and human history. It was too spoilery to be in the book, but there is a LOT of lore that is laid down, and this tool mentioned in Part 4 established that this document is referenced often to make events make sense in the timeline.

12. It's been established before, but Amethyst's origin in Earth's Prime Kindergarten was not initially known as part of her character when she was invented, and that was discussed in Part 4 of this book--how the writing retreats the Crew takes to discuss the story sometimes result in huge revelations like this. "Oh, that makes sense, that's why we wrote her like that" is one of those things I recognize as a writer--you know a character has a certain vibe, but you don't know what explains it. You just trust that something does. And eventually, sometimes you find out what it is and it all makes sense. Interesting to know they did this with Amethyst.

13. "Lars and Sadie make out even though they're not together" was the basic idea for making "Island Adventure." And the original idea for "Onion Friend" had a "Grandma Shallot" character. 

The writers sometimes play writing games to brainstorm, and those were shared. Some ideas for a story which was later used in "Future Boy Zoltron," covering Mr. Smiley's romance/comedy partnership with an old flame, were shared with more emphasis on the characters being lovers. 

Garnet's part in the story was more explicit too, with her giving people future predictions that are not at all nice or gently delivered, and they have to shut down the business in the wake of Garnet's badassery. Weird. 

Other ideas were used but not as they're presented, like one where Greg learns about fusion from the Gems (but witnessed the fusion of Pearl and Amethyst, not Pearl and Rose), and a complicated one where cross-Gem fusion is a new idea in a flashback and Rose wants Garnet to fuse with her to teach her about it but she's too unsure of her own fusion relationship as such to risk it. The idea was that Pearl would be jealous and Pearl, Rose, and Garnet would actually fuse in the episode. This has not been done in the show.

14. Rebecca Sugar apparently just pops up with concepts she wants the writers to work in. Like "I want Steven to be in a mushroom forest" (which hasn't happened yet) or "I want Steven to have cats on his fingers" (which, obviously, happened early on). Rebecca gets little concepts that are sort of dreamlike, and they figure out which episode they can put them in. Working those things in sometimes seems like as much of a priority as getting plot elements in!

15. I like that they dish a bit about the fan reaction to Garnet's Fusion status. They thought they were being a little too obvious to not get caught, but Ian said the fans figured it out and then got bored of the idea and decided it must be even more complicated than that. People were apparently worried that Garnet would be replaced by her component Gems in the story if she were to unfuse, but obviously since Ruby and Sapphire want to be together, that doesn't happen.

16. Kat Morris's "rules" as discussed in Part 4 are "Garnet never asks questions" and "the story has to stay in Steven's perspective." I love how strict they are about Garnet not asking questions (except in the episode "The Answer," though there have been a couple ~technical~ questions from her; she usually just finds a way to ask a question with a statement, like "tell me what you saw").

17. A great quote from Zuke on the incidentally queer content of the Gems' relationships and gender: "Personally, I'm happy to not have to think, 'I'm writing a character based on my queer experiences.' That would be so hard! I'm just writing from my perspective, and I happen to be queer. I think that's what makes the show feel natural when it comes to that. It's a fine line between defining something so that people are aware it exists, which is so important, but also letting it breathe, so it's not forever contained in a box labeled 'queer media.'"

18. In Part 5, Michaela Dietz relates her experiences as an adoptee to relate to what Amethyst deals with as an "adoptee" into the Crystal Gem family without knowing where she really came from or what it means to be a part of that. She's said this before in some other interviews and panels, so it's not new in general, but it's probably new in print. Deedee Magno Hall, who plays Pearl, obviously relates to Pearl's maternal nature.

19. Tom Scharpling and Charlyne Yi were voice actors that Rebecca specifically had in mind for her characters (Greg and Ruby respectively). Rebecca's illustrated letter to Charlyne explaining Ruby and Sapphire's relationship and Ruby's role on the show is really adorable.

20. Music nerds like me will very much appreciate the photographed notes on music motifs--the Diamonds each have a solfège syllable and a chord (White is F#M7/Sol, Yellow is BM7/Fa, Blue is EM7/Fa, and Pink is AM7/Mi), and Steven's powers and modes are coded with instruments and styles.

21. Some world maps provide new possible insights. Greenland in our world is Blueland in theirs. South America is called Pangea. Aqua Mexico is labeled about where Mexico is in our world. India is the Indian Islands. There's an Australia and a New Australia. A big sea in the middle of Asia is called the Tunguska Sea. Rose's Fountain is in Spain or Portugal; the Sky Spire and Strawberry Battlefield are in Norway; the Shooting Star Shrine is in the middle of the drastically different Asian continent; the Galaxy Warp is in the Tunguska Sea; the Lunar Sea Spire is off the coast of Canada; Mask Island is in the Atlantic near Beach City; the Comm Relay is in the Western United States.

22. It was known from interviews that Shelby Rabara (voice of Peridot) is a dancer and provided the foot sounds and coaching to create the short tap number in the episode "Mr. Greg." But what's great is here, there's a visual reference included! Photos of Shelby doing the dance are lined up next to the drawings of Pearl and Steven in the "Mr. Greg" number doing the steps! She poses in dance moves with her husband for the Greg/Pearl dance for "Both of You" too.

23. There's a really cute story in the last section about Amber Cragg ascending from fan to Crewniverse member through posting Pearl art in response to the pilot and eventually getting contacted to take a board test. That is the kind of thing so many online artists dream of!

[SU Book and Comic Reviews]

[the-heroic-changeling]

Civil Feedback

Wrote a seventh practice story, this is the first one to be a sequel to a prior practice story. Once again this stars Feedback, an autistic Muslim superhero of my creation. This story was written in one session, with minimum editing or polish, it was written just as practice. Still tagging @filipfatalattractionrblog @jogress @muceybbds @akirakan @majingojira @neshtasplace and anyone else interested in this little “sketch” of a story. And for reference, here is part one. 

…………

Feedback adjusted her new costume, a red veil that completely covered her mouth, nose, and forehead, leaving only her eyes. She wore a rainbow-colored belt with her icon on it, a neurodiversity symbol with radio waves coming off of it. The Muslim superhero sat in the back of an old car, listening to a receiver she had built while her friend Zimal drove through the streets of Ashwater.

“Thank you it … it just was so sudden.”

“It’s fine,” Zimal said as she wiped her sweat brow underneath her hijab, “be careful, alright?”

“I know. You can stop here, I can hear the sirens. Wait for me?”

“Of course. And be careful with that costume I made for you, it’s not bulletproof, it’s meant for a quick disguise nothing more.”

“I know, thank you again.” The car came to a stop and Feedback climbed out and began to move as fast as she could walk towards the sirens. She rubbed her fingers against some fringe on her veil, stimming to stay calm. Feedback appreciated Zimal’s modification, it let herself calm down.

Feedback was autistic, her civilian name was Nawal. Inspired by a therapy she underwent as a child, she used her electrician skills to build a headband that could project her brainwaves over a short range, allowing her to affect electronics. She had also implanted a transmitter in the police’s radios, letting her listen and find out what they might be planning. While the population of Ashwater were largely Pakistani, the police were mostly white, and did not secretly find the dark skinned Muslims beneath them.

The superhero briskly walked through the streets until her eyes were hit by flashes of red and blue. She strained to see up ahead, the police were shouting, pointing their guns at a black young man.

She had overheard the message, some white woman complaining about the neighbor being too loud. A simple annoyance. But Feedback could see the police screeching, shoving the man to his knees, gun pointed at his head. This was excessive force, needless to say. It made her ill, the kind of people who became police only wanted to lord their power over others, not protect order. 

Feedback rubbed her temples, focusing on the police’s belt. Then with a pop his taser overloaded, electrocuting the cop with a surge of electricity. He crumbled to his knees while Feedback targeted his partner, overloading her taser too. 

As the cops fell in pain Feedback shouted, “run,” and the young man staggered up and sprinted off, scrambling as frantically as he could. It looked like he was headed towards the local library, Good, a public place with people to help him. 

The autistic wiggled and pulled her fingers through her fringe, trying not to listen to the groans of pain. She … she was not eager to hurt anyone. But this was saving a life. And she was only using the weapons of the police against them.

One of them started to rise and she focused again, overloading his walky-talky. A sharp shriek erupted from the machine, sending him off balance. By now the young man had gotten some distance, he should be safe in a moment.

The superhero turned to their police car, trying to remember the electrical wiring. She had helped fix Zimal’s car, but mechanics was not her field. Still her memory was roughly right, and her brainwaves plowed straight into the battery of the car. 

The battery overloaded and fried, sending up a thick cloud of gray smoke from the car. The police were staggering upright by now, and the man had fled.

Feedback turned around and power-walked away, ducking into an alleyway. As she submerged into the shadows she unbuttoned her dress and pulled off her belt, revealing that much of her costume was a flap of cloth secured by the belt. She slid the flap behind her and then re-buttoned it, so that the brown inside of the flap covered her costume. She crabbed her veil and inverted it, turning it into a brown hijab. 

Nawal hooked her belt into her dress’s inside, finishing her transformation into her civilian clothes. The autistic flapped her wrists frantically, before descending further into the shadows.

She kept her headband on under her hijab, just in case. Behind her she could hear curses of confusion, the police were still disoriented, and with their car disabled they could not be able to pursue him. By then he might have some people to help protect him. 

He might be blamed for the overloads, the police might try to blame their injuries on him, along with the damage to her car. She had been a superhero for three months now, and she still had a lot to learn. She still made mistakes. But she knew if she had done nothing, then the man would have died. 

Feedback of course wouldn’t have interfered if the police had just responded appropriately, if they had just told him to turn the music down, she would not have escalated things. But she couldn’t trust them to do that. Too many people were gunned down by police every year, namely the disabled and people of color. Too many people in police custody died mysteriously, and the police just closed ranks, refused to even condemn their fellows. And the ones that did speak out, they did not stay on the force for long. 

Nawal was terrified living in America as an autistic Muslim with dark skin. And that fear turned to compassion, to try to offer others the safety and relief she lacked. 

She soon enough returned to Zimal and climbed back inside, and her friend drove away. “I could see the smoke from here. Did he … did the boy survive?”

“Yes,” Nawal answered as she threaded her fingers in her hijab, “at least for now.”

“That’s all we can ask for.” They drove off through the small city, while Nawal bent her head to pray in thanks.