#there are some empty blogs following me and i can see that they're human

[lalalaugenbrot]

[insert bernie sanders meme]

i am once again asking tumblr newbies to upload a profile pic and set a blogtitle

please please please it's the "i'm human" checkmark on here

[yichens]

7.7.2023 (1, 2) – Last Twilight Filming

+ bonus: The first look on Night

I doubt I will be posting all the preview pictures like this, but I might occasionally drop some here as Tumblr and my own blog are both my archive and my safe space. So welcome on this journey with me if you choose to follow along ♥

I also try to keep away from talking too much about my own opinions and expectations when it comes to this series bc I don't really have much to add to the general discussion. Also, I hate to be known like that. But I wanted to share a few thoughts on these pictures nonetheless.

First of all, I am extremely curious about the whole mood change we can notice in these pictures. The warm and soft yellows in the trailer have changed to these stark and cold blues and grays. I know this most likely won't be their final look as the actual filmed material will go through coloring and editing in the post-production process, but these colors on set and in their styling are definitely a choice. I'm personally expecting this to mean the story will hit even harder, though I also think that was a given either way. They're out to murder us, I'm just saying.

I love what this change has done to Mork however. I've seen a lot of people on Twt say they don't really approve Jimmy's new hairstyle and that they cannot recognize the character of Mork without the longer hair, but I'm stoked. He looks worse, in a good way, than he did in the trailer. He's sharper, rougher from the edges. I can see that he can be even mean like this if he wants to, and I was kind of expecting the beginning of MorkDay's story to be based on some level of distaste or even hostility towards each other. Mork is not a natural caretaker and Day doesn't really want to be taken care of so I'm excited to see what will become of that.

(Also I will not talk about Mork with his bike bc my brain is just empty when it comes to that. You point that picture out to me and all you can hear are crickets. Though my brain will insist that the one in that picture is Wai which I find hilarious.)

With Day, I'm a bit more indecisive. I'm honestly surprised how much he suddenly changed from the trailer and how much the feeling I get from him changed when they decided to put these colder colors on him. Sea's hair is styled down which somehow makes me think about an anime character, and it doesn't help that he's dressed in those black shirts/jackets? with the stickup collar. (The blue stripe in that second picture makes me think about Connor from Detroit: Become Human which. Not an AU I thought I had in me lbh.) I am not against it though. He looks younger if colder, and with the casual t-shirts, he has this almost child-like feeling to him. Makes me think that Day will be a bit of a brat. I love that for us.

My biggest grievance currently is that they apparently changed the actress for Day's mother. I love the lady they had in the trailer and I was honestly so excited to see her working with JimmySea. She has, after all, played some of my favorite mothers in Thai BLs (Ayan's mother in The Eclipse, Mon's mother in GAP, and Junior's mother in Bad Buddy). I like her face and she has this very warm and gentle feeling to her. Maybe changing her out also had something to do with the overall mood switch, we will have to wait and see.

Overall very excited to see what actually happens in this. Also excited to see other locations than just Day's house but I guess we will have to wait for that for a while. Same with anything softer which I'm not against bc the first hint of intimacy between MorkDay will probably make me pass out.

[pkmn-art-reblogs]

new pokémon fanart archive!

Hey guys! The point of this blog is to reblog as many pokémon fanarts as possible (my goal is to reblog them all, we'll see if that's possible haha) so they're all properly tagged and easily searchable here.

I'm just getting started so you might find some tags are still partially or totally empty, I hope you come along to see them grow!

If you have an art blog and you draw/gif/craft pokemon, send me a DM and let me know! Or you can submit your art if you want to :)

what you can search for:

by type of art:

fanart both digital and traditional

gifs from the games/anime and animation in general

merch fanmade - plushies, enamel pins, and other objects

3d model

by character

pokemon: just go to the search bar on the top part of the blog and search for your favorite pokemon! see pikachu, for example. regional variants are tagged like "alolan raichu", not "raichu", though they should show up on the search for "raichu".

human characters: same as pokemon, search them by their english name. for example: gladion. for professors you should search for "professor (name)", like "professor oak" and not just "oak". submas have their own tag for the both of them, but also individual tags for ingo and emmet.

original characters both human and pokemon

fakemon for fan made pokemon, and from there you can branch off to variants or fusions

betamon for beta pokemon (from the leaked betas, like the 1997 spaceworld gold/silver one, or the diamond/pearl one; or from official sources, like the latias+blaziken pokemon from the ruby/sapphire showcase). beta versions of pokemon that exist have their own tags, like "beta wooper" and not "wooper"

by game

just search for the game you're interested in. spin off sagas have only one tag (like mystery dungeon) and main series games that have two versions follow the most used order for them (like black and white).

[the-blorb-system]

Welcome! Please take a look:

Intro:

Hi! I am the host of the system, and you can call me Lizzy. I (and the body of our system) am in my mid 20s. I'm front stuck, so I'm pretty much always present for social interactions, but my headmates often share front with me.

I've been debating for a while, and finally I decided I'd like to make a blog for my system. I discovered the system a little over a year and a half ago, and I've been learning things left and right since. There are a lot of misconceptions about multiplicity, about the identity disorders they are defined by, and the experiences of systems.

I won't claim to be an expert, not by any legitimate means, but I have done a fair amount of research, and I consider myself very open-minded. In creating this blog, I'm wanting to create a safe space. You can ask your "stupid" questions without judgement, you can ask about stereotypes, you can talk to fictives that come from characters you like if you're curious, you can discuss your system experiences, you can ask for information as a singlet- it's also a safe place to exist regardless of your identity. This is a safe place for poc (though please be aware I am not one), for anyone under the LGBTQIA+ umbrella, for other systems and alters, for singlets, for anyone going through mental illness or hard things in life, etc... And many of my headmates aren't fully human, so I don't even have grounds to judge that, either. Therians and otherkin, respectfully, I find a bit strange, but that's likely because I'm not one, so I promise there will be no real judgement or discrimination. I may not be one, but so what? I celebrated with a friend a few weeks ago about how they got a new wolf tail that helps them feel more themselves, and it was so cool and I'm so happy for them!

This blog is still under construction, currently. I'll be making an alter list (at least for those I know of and that are comfortable with being listed), and will let the blog be a safe space for my headmates above all else. You might see reblogged fanart from our sources, or mood boards for my headmates' interests, or text posts about how weird it is to have more than three fingers when in front... But as it stands now, the blog is pretty empty.

Some rules for sending asks:

• Example rule. This is the important part to read. The rest of this is just explanation- why the rule is important and the parameters for it, maybe an example to try to make it make sense. You don't have to read this part as long as you follow the rule, but it might help.

• Please, please, please be open-minded and respectful! I understand how utterly bizarre multiplicity and identity disorders are, but for many people this is reality, and I'm really hoping to help normalize that and be informative about it. Be respectful not just for my sake, but for others' too.

• Please nothing explicitly NSFW. Swearing is just fine, but do not be unnecessarily excessive. I don't even mind lightly touching on darker and more intimate subjects, but given my goals with this blog I do not want to make anyone especially uncomfortable, so be aware of that.

• Do not automatically treat fictives like they are their sources. I mean this very light-heartedly, by the way- many fictives see themselves as their characters, not just in my system but in others. But many also do not, and do not want to be seen that way. More often than not, fictives are not the same as the characters they resemble. They are... people, very real, and very independent, and they split for specific reasons that can define their nature a little differently. Many of my fictive headmates identify with their sources pretty heavily, and have many memories from their sources, but they aren't exactly the same.

• Similarly, please do not treat fictives' sources like jokes or just made-up stories when you're talking to them. For an example so I can explain what I mean, we have quite a few Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fictives. No, they're not exact duplicates of their characters, but the events of the rise movie were real for them. If you are kind about it, you're welcome to still ask about it and discuss the movie and show- often they even enjoy that. But be aware that for them that was and still is very real trauma. They carry the memories of injury and fear and life-and-death battles, so it's important to me that they aren't needlessly poked at for things that hurt them.

• Alter List Here!

• Tagging System Guide Here!

Thanks for stopping by! 💚

[andypantsx3]

This is going to sound weird, but do you have any tips on how to gain traction as a fanfic writer? I've been trying for years and I get next to no interaction on my writing. I know I shouldn't care because I should be writing for myself, but it's still frustrating to see other writers get thousands of notes, and reblogs and asks praising their fics and I get maybe 20 likes. I've been looking into discord fandom groups but a lot of them don't allow people over 30, and I don't do well with busy groups anyway. I try to be active on my blog, and interact with other people and make myself approachable, but I'm getting so incredibly tired of talking to an empty space. Sorry, I think I ended up venting instead >_<

WARNING: DISCOURSE AHEAD

Omg hello my love!! First of all, I'm so sorry you feel this way! I have so many conflicting thoughts on this, let me try to get them in order for you!!

I guess, let me first start with some tips that I think actually answer your question, and then I'll just monologue about the ways I've been thinking about fandom recently, and you can skip that part if you wanna!

Part 1: Actual Thoughts on Your Question (lol)

I am possibly not in the best position to ask about this because I mostly happened to be in the right place at the right time, publishing my fics in the early part of the pandemic when people were more actively engaging in the fandom. But in my experience, outside of discord groups, other good ways to meet people and get your work out there are joining zines & collabs.

I'm not completely up-to-date with what the accounts are now that track these things, but there are several tumblrs and twitter accounts like BNHA Zines that exist to retweet & publicize zine posts. Look for zines that are in the interest check & application stages!! You can apply during the application phase and the good thing is that most zines will ask for an application piece and will judge you on your work rather than your follower count!!

Collabs are usually even easier because many of them are just open to whoever wants to join! I've only participated in server collabs but I've seen several posts cross my dash that are open to anyone. I'd probably monitor the collaboration and x reader tags on tumblr and join in on anything that looks fun!!

Another thing that I've noticed people do a lot is self-reblog their fics a couple times just to maximize their circulation. I've seen a lot of moots trying to make sure they hit good hours for different time zones and different days of the week to ensure their followers are at least aware that they've posted something if they don't have notifs on (I don't have notifs on so I'm grateful for these because otherwise I miss a lot!!). Even I have srb'd a time or two if I'm particularly proud of something lol.

And I think, if I also wanted to be a shark about things, I would try to get in on the ground floor of a fandom in its early stages!! For example, the second season of JJK is coming out soon and it's sure to bring a wave of new readers to the JJK fandom, especially for the characters like Gojo and Getou who look like they're gonna be the main focus of the season.

I think if you wanted to be extra sharp about things, you might time a fic release with some of the first couple episodes of a new season where you can be sure more people than usual will be poking around in the tags!! And if your fic is published during the early stages of a fandom, it's going to have more eyes on it overall than a fic published towards the conclusion of the series.

Anyway this is what I could think of. I hope this advice is practical and useful!! Now onto me blathering.

Part 2: Resisting Influencer Culture in Fandom Spaces

This part might be kind of controversial. I want to first acknowledge how easy it is for me to think and say these sorts of things when I'm already more than pleased with the amount of engagement I get. And I want to recognize that it is so, so deeply human to want recognition, community, and support for the things that we write.

I think it is so completely natural that you want interaction on your writing. All of us totally do, otherwise we wouldn't be publishing it publicly. If our work was truly, singularly for us and us alone, we'd keep it in the drafts lol. We put it out there hoping for praise and appreciation and connection, and in my opinion there is no shame in that.

So, admission time: I also definitely compare myself to other writers, and I have several times thought about transitioning more towards the type of content that drives higher note counts on tumblr: smuttier one-shots usually under 10k! I can see a huge difference in terms of just my own work on how my one-shots typically do in comparison to chaptered fics. And I definitely see how fast smutty imagines shoot up there in terms of note count.

But I was listening to a podcast episode recently on trying to sort of transition away from a metrics-focused approach to fandom. In the podcast, they talk about how in trying to legitimize fanfic as a literary mechanism, we've also sort of accidentally subjected it to our capitalist-influencer-mindset, where we see fic as more legitimate the more kudos it gets or the more followers it nets you, because in traditional influencer spaces, those followers are potential capital.

I'm definitely not saying you or I see people as potential revenue streams, but I think probably neither of us are immune to the culture at large, and we both probably carry some of internalized sense of our own value based on metrics, reach, and influence. And that sucks!!!!

Fandom, of all things, is supposed to be a specifically anti-capitalist space. We can't make money off of fanfic or fanart (legally, anyway lol), and we're all not the owners of the franchises either so none of our takes are necessarily more "valid" or weightier than others!! We're all supposed to just be trading stories around a campfire with no thought to their literary merit or monetary value. We're just supposed to enjoy the stories.

So, I don't know what the right answer is about how to try to resist the influences of our capitalist culture at large; I'm hoping someone smarter than me will tell me. But I do know that in fanfic, the value of your story can absolutely never be determined by how much engagement you get. Because fandom is not about metrics, and there is no inherent value in metrics. There is only the fun you had creating the story, and the depth of the connection you made with someone over it--even if that's just one other person.

And so I personally am at least trying to resist the lure of transitioning to smutty one-shots even though I think a lot of people would like that. Because what I like doing is writing my little 30k multi-chaps; those are my fave kinds of stories to tell, I'm not letting my metrics tell me what I should be writing.

I hope, at the very least, you know that your worth and the value of your story is not defined by how many other people have read it. And if you ever wanna chat more about this let me know, I'm still figuring this all out myself and could use friends to explore it with!!

[averageundertaleblog]

i kinda had this empty account since 2019 and never did anything with it but now im just gonna use this to talk about my undertale aus and stuff, even if people don't really get to see any of this it's still cool to log my stuff

anyways uhh lemme just list my aus rq and give them each a short explanation

Dusttale: A Different Approach

- Basically a combination of Something New & Dusttale, the player finishes a genocide route and wants to take a different approach to the game. They rewrite and alter majority of the game's code until they managed to control Sans and play as him, however Sans is still conscious and becomes the narrator instead of Chara. The player attempts to do a pacifist route but Frisk was seen moving around and basically starts doing a genocide route on their own, oooooo. Spooky. So the player decided that the best course of action was to kill everyone and become stronger while also preventing Frisk to get any more LV.

Storyshift: A Tale Amongst Legends

- Several neutral routes takes place and Chara gets pissed off so they meet Shifty at around Waterfall and start battling. Eventually Chara gets tired of Shifty trying to toy with their world so they attempt to reset but Shifty also tries to as well. Causing a massive collision between the two resets and changed their world drastically, Asriel now has mental breakdowns, King Sans is over 10 feet tall now, and the barrier never existed in the first place, basically everyone became different whether it was little or significant. Chara couldn't find Shifty anywhere so they just accepted this changed world of theirs and lived their life as normal, until a blond "drama queen" was brought into the story.

(This AU is actually my friend's instead of mine but I kinda work like the co-owner and writer of it so eh, plus my friend said it was cool to talk about it here so here we are)

OVERTURN

- Story is still WIP but basically the barrier was shattered long ago thanks to W.D Gaster Skeleton and the rest of his team and monsterkind decided to keep living in Mount Ebott. Due to this, the seven previous children weren't killed and instead taken cared of. They're also kind-of in another war in some way idk me and my pals have to think about that.

(Recently made AU me and my two best friends are cooking up rn, kinda inspired by EPICTALE)

A DIFFERENT TALE

- Basically an AU where me and my friend's OCs were just self-inserted into the UNDERTALE universe in a way. A bunch of races had a world war and humanity won, the humans locked the war prisoners and experimented on some of them and treated them very harshly, studying them into getting more power. However this formed an uprising and created an entire united army known as the Resistance, some humans joined this army while the rest of humanity stayed together and fought against the Resistance in this second war. Humanity once again won and sent their strongest "heroes" to banish the Resistance army into a pocket dimension, which was basically an island on a neverending ocean.

yeah uhh you can criticize or whatever idrc im just showing off because i can lol, maybe if i get enough followers i can do some ask blog thingy within one of my aus, that would be nice

[gcldfanged]

whyfor have I followed thee~?: I admit, as a fellow 30+ queer transmasc human, seeing such in a fellow writer AND their muse somehow acts immediately as a draw. There is a fellow vulnerability that frequently lends to the greatest and most heartbreaking and mending creativity I've ever been priviledged to be involved in. Jae-hyo's history itself was also a draw. From his traumatic entrapment beneath his abusers, to his freedom clawed and kept primally against his scars with enough pressure to make the soul bleed-- he as a character that enthralled me from the very first. I admittedly also jumped for joy at finding another person unafraid to explore the darker aspects of fiction. For me, there is catharsis in writing the blacker shades of angst and being in control of the outcome- in putting my own creations through hell- one of my own ocs has history of being enslaved, and... you were just an amazing blog to behold.

Whyfore doth mine steps continue to dog thine shadow~?: one of the first things to catch my attention in original characters tends to be depth. do they breathe? are the variety of actions sensible to THEM as a person and not just an empty reaction to what is going on? do they MATCH the event? and sure, some of that comes from the variety of prose folx can use and one's writing style. but i regularly read your rp posts and literally visualise whatever is unfolding out. I'm regularly engaged with Jae-hyo's internal exposition, invested in the glances and glints of his past through such. Sometimes when it's a full look and the name and pronouns change, I mentally go 'it's okay darlin', it's not forever!!' XDDDD

You allow me to be educated as well. Which I am infinitely grateful for. Your ooc is also a delight (even when life shits on your flapjacks x.x), and your humour has more than once made me laugh aloud. I wanna write with you so bad, and I hope life begins to treat you better soon~.

Hey friend, I'm making food/thinking over my reply, but I really want to give you a heartfelt thank you- It really means a lot to me that you feel something from my work and enjoy the kinds of themes I explore with Jae… I often worry that people will look at the darker content and think I'm a try-hard or that Jae is a Misery Stu made to entertain an author boner for the 'over the top' and 'melodramatic', as if these very events don't happen in REAL LIFE and affect 'regular' people too ('regular' people, like ME, for example).

It really seems like critical thinking is dead these days. I remember reading a very excellent gay romance/fantasy novel that happened to examine slavery and sexual slavery in it's society and the overwhelming amount of negative reviews it had on GoodReads was shocking- All because it dared to even have slavery as a topic in the book, without examining the context in which it affects and is seen by the characters themselves. Literally, all the reviews were the same, basically saying "this book is garbage because it has slavery in it, ew" kind of vapid and mindless refusal to engage. Which, granted, they have the right to not engage, but oh my god???

It just honestly makes me mad- Am I supposed to be impressed other people choose to be ignorant and have a superiority complex about only enjoying characters they see as morally good or if they're not morally good, have the capacity for redemption? Or they're only good simply because they are 'relatable', like people need to step outside the narrow scope of their own experiences, I am begging-

Similarly, I have been stalking your blogs and I know things have been pretty rough on the both of us outside of roleplaying, so I'm always more than happy and willing to chat whenever we have the free time and spoons. Your portrayals and characterizations have been feeding me well despite absences and hiatuses between the both of us.

Thanks again for the kind words and time taken to express them, it's definitely helping me be less anxious about the idea of publishing my original works...

[puppyluver256]

Welcome to PuppyLuver Studios!

Jess / Pup | adult aged (June '92, you do the math) | they/them (also trialing it/its to see how I feel about it) | nonbinary asexual lesbian | atheist/secular humanist

🐶 Snoopy Cooper | beagle, male | 7-29-23

💖🐶💖🐶💖

Thanks for stopping by my blog! I'm an artistic goofball who loves video games, animals, and food. This is a multifandom blog that also has original stuff, dog stuff, and Shenanigans. I hope you enjoy your time here, whether you're just taking a peek or decide to follow! ^u^

Commissions

Redbubble

Patreon

😨🏷️😨🏷️😨

If we're moots or you're following me, feel free to ask me if you need anything tagged for your personal comfort. I try to tag things for organizational purposes, but I can add extra tags if need be, whether it's a tag for the actual subject matter or you need a "(your name) don't look" tag. 💖

✋🚧✋🚧✋

No weird DNI list, I block on vibes and bs like an adult. Empty blogs, I'm saying this for your own enjoyment of the platform: please add a pfp and/or an intro header because many of us block empty blogs on sight under the impression they're bots.

��️✨⚛️✨⚛️

Yes, I am an atheist! No, I am not an anti-theist. No, I am not under the impression that I am smarter than someone just because they believe in a god or gods. (there are scientists who are christians after all not christian scientists that is a totally different thing and is legitimately harmful) I consider humanism a stronger indicator of one's character than whether or not one believes in the supernatural, and I would rather hang out with ten progressive theists than one asshole atheist.

THAT BEING SAID: If you try to proselytize/evangelize to me in favor of your preferred religion, I will not tolerate that for a single moment. Just accept that I do not believe, I've likely already heard every point you'd try to make several times over, and move on with your life without worrying about the state of my supposed soul (which I don't even know if I have).

👤📥👤📥👤

Anon is usually turned on because I like shy people to be able to talk to me in a manner that makes them feel safe. However, anon is a privilege with some personal rules attached, and if someone abuses this privilege then anon will be turned off for a period of time.

Anon is currently: On! Play nicely now ;3

📢💢📢💢📢

I don't reblog call-out posts, as it is all too common for it to be nothing more than personal beef blown out of proportion (or worse, dogpiling on a marginalized individual under the oft-exaggerated or outright falsified belief that they did something bad). Please don't come to my inbox telling me to delete reblogs of or block called-out users, especially on anon or if we've never interacted before. I think I'm cognizant and socially aware enough to be able to make my own judgments of people with my own critical thinking skills.

😵🏷️😵🏷️😵

On occasion, some of my art may feature themes that some people consider to be fetishes, but my usage of those themes is not intended to be fetishistic. I am fine with those who do like those themes for those reasons enjoying my work, just please do not reblog them to solely fetish-themed blogs or make creepy comments on or about that art. I do my best to tag these pieces to help people who are bothered by said themes to avoid seeing them, but if I need further tagging please let me know. (note, however, that I will not be using any fetish-specific acronyms or phrases as tags for aforementioned no-fetish-intent reasons, ie. I will tag "petrification" or "faceless"/"headless" but not "asfr" or "nbm")

🚫🤑🚫💸🚫💸🚫🤑🚫

Any ads placed on this blog by Tumblr are not endorsed by PuppyLuver Studios. Clicking/tapping on any ads is not recommended (but y'all know that).

No soliciting on my blog / posts / inbox!!! Do not include me in mass-tagging for crowdfunding posts if we are not mutuals!!!

[peagnut]

HALIFAX - HE/HIM - 2003

This is my main blog where I post and reblog anything ever! +18 only follows pleaseys

ART ONLY | ARTFIGHT | TOYHOU.SE

PEAGNUT.CA

I’m HAL/ISO/&other names; Canuck Newfie intersex objectum furry metalhead wazzock who does arts and other things. I’m literally just here for fun and nothing more, nothing less.

Concise list of Shit I’m Into

Calgary, Alberta, architecture and nature photography, mascots primarily relating to the NHL and olympics (I'm on team Flames but I'm not a big actual hockey guy), rollercoasters (& galaxyland WEM), West Edmonton Mall, airplanes, newfoundland, some animals, pin/postcard/other items collecting, some normal ones like tv shows and games.

I like art and comics and I've always been really fascinated with fursuit work and the furry community pre 2010s. I really enjoy humanizations of things while still inheriting their source; IE i don't like those anime girl versions of things but i think aeromorphs are awesome. I also love PC-98 dithering work as you can see from my art.

Some of my favourite characters are Sumi from the 2010 Vancouver olympics, Fierce Deity from TLOZ:MM, Otacon from MGS, and Jin Yoshida from SOMA.

Sideblogs

@peagnutbutter

myy art blog. because i post a lot of unrelated shit on here

@canuckwazzock

myyy everything else but art blog. for photography, those transparent pin things, postcards, collages, etc etc..

@myjobishell

OC blog! it is super empty.

And like.. 15 other ones.

Me FAQ&PAQ

Q: What name do I use?

A: I use a few different names in different spaces for &reasons. I prefer those names to be used within those spaces (E.G. HAL here on tumblr, ISO in a Discord server we may share.) HAL is the default and you can always use that. I prefer you choose a name and stick to just using that, instead of changing between a bunch.

Q: What pronouns do I use?

A: He/Him/His. In a couple spaces I use Shi/Hir/Hirs. Please only use those if you have actually talked to me directly or they're set as my pronouns in a server we share.

Q: What's your art setup?

A: I use a Galaxy Tab S6 connected to a Windows 10 PC via a cable as a 3rd monitor using the driver SuperDisplay, with the art program Clip Studio Paint EX. If I'm not home in Alberta I use CSP for Android.

Q: How do you do those digital pin collage things?

A: Small ring light from Dollarama, kneaded eraser on the back to stabilize, images with phone, upload to PC, remove background (use this if you're lazy), images in FireAlpaca, organize with transform tool. Takes me ~2 hours.

Q: How do you date a city?

A: Hard question to answer. Some POSIC people communicate with the object and ask, I just kind of decided after a year of longing

[ethereal-writes]

Mammon Vs. Nature (Ft. Asmodeus, Mammon and GN! MC)

Warnings: None!

Length: 0.9k words

Genre: Chaotic

Summary: Mammon decides to ignore MC's warnings and feed the seagulls.

A/N: I've been wanting to write this one pretty much since I started the blog, so here it is! The style is a little different than everything else I've posted, so I hope you still enjoy it. I don't think anything in here warrants a warning, but if you see something I should add a warning for, please let me know!

Also, thank you for 30 followers!

-Ethereal (✿◡‿◡)

Story below, please don't claim as your own!

After weeks and weeks of pestering, Lucifer had allowed you to return to the human world for a few hours so you could pick up some of your stuff.

Yes, Asmodeus had done a wonderful job decorating your room and picking out your wardrobe, but that didn’t change the fact that you wanted some of your things. You weren’t going to pack to move to the Devildom or anything, you just wanted some of your clothes and a few other trinkets.

Mammon happened to walk by at the time, and insisted he go with you.

Asmo happened to hear Mammon talking (very loudly) to Lucifer about it and insisted that he go with you too.

Lucifer agreed, under the conditions that no one else was to find out about the trip. Thinking about all six of his younger brothers and you in the human world unsupervised was already giving him a headache.

The quest for your stuff went smoothly, if you ignored the fact that Mammon had tried to steal some of your stuff and Asmodeus had spent the entire time criticizing your old skincare routine.

As soon as you’d zipped your bag, Mammon complained that he was hungry.

You still had just under an hour before you had to go back, so you suggested going to your favorite fast-food joint. Asmo complained about how greasy food wasn’t good for his skin, but you pacified him pretty quickly when you told him it was your favorite restaurant.

The walk wasn’t any further than your daily walk to RAD, so the three of you made it there pretty quickly. It didn’t take long for everyone to order, and it took even less time for the food to be ready.

Since it was such a nice day out, you suggested that you eat outside. You may as well enjoy the sun while you could, right?

The restaurant was right beside a small pond, complete with a few picnic tables. Since they were all empty, you chose the one closest to the water and sat down.

Not too far away, there was a group of birds. They were really common in the human world, so you didn’t feel the need to point them out. Apparently, you should have, because when Asmo caught sight of the one approaching your table, he immediately started cooing at it.

“Ooh, I've never seen these ones before. They're so pretty!" Asmo said. He stood up and approached it. Unsurprisingly, the bird was startled, and hopped away.

"They're seagulls," you tell him.

“I’ve got to get a pic for Devilgram!”

"Here, I can make 'em come closer!" Mammon tossed a french-fry towards the bird, and sure enough, it hopped towards it.

"Um, I'm not sure that's such a good idea,” you said. You watched as the bird began pecking at it.

"You don't think I know how to act with birds?" Mammon asked as he thew a few more. "Ya know my familiars are crows, right?"

"They're seagulls," You repeat. "Not the same thing."

"Yeah, whatever." He dismissed you and tossed more fries at the bird.

The bird hadn't even finished the ones he'd already thrown, but as you expected, more of the flock approached. First it was two, then three. Soon enough, it was five, then ten, and then you lost count.

"Alright, alright." Mammon popped the next fry into his mouth. "No more for you guys, I want some too."

Bad idea.

Suddenly, one of the birds got bold, and stole a fry straight out of the box. Mammon flinched, which caused some of the fries to spill onto his lap, the bench, and the ground.

Instantly, more seagulls jumped forward to help with the cleanup.

That alone wasn't so bad, but a sudden flap in your ear made you jump so badly you spilled your drink on yourself.

You didn't want to risk the birds coming for you too, so you hit the deck.

When you looked across the table, you saw Asmo doing the same. Despite yourselves, you both giggled at the sheer absurdity of the situation. Blades of grass got stuck to your sticky hands, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care as you crawled to safety.

Once you deemed yourself far enough away, you stand up.

You and Asmo were safe…where was Mam-

“AGHHHH!” Mammon hadn't fared anywhere near as well as you two, instead opting to sprint the other direction and take his flock of seagulls with him.

On one hand, you felt bad for him, but on the other, you did warn him...

"Ahahaha!" Asmodeus didn’t have the same dilemma, doubled over laughing.

"I-should we help him?" You managed to choke out between giggles.

"Hm, I think he'll be alright," Asmo replied as he wiped tears from his cheeks. "I-wait, oh no, he's doubling back- MAMMON! PUT THE FRIES DOWN!"

You and Asmo took off running, and you pulled your D.D.D. out of your pocket.

"Barbatos!" You shouted, glancing back to see they were gaining on you. "Barbatos, we're coming back, open the portal!”

"Are you alright-?"

"Just do it please!"

Thankfully, a moment later, you saw the bright white light of a portal, and dive through after Asmodeus.

You hit the floor of the council room, and hear the portal close. You dare to open your eyes, looking over the three of you. You were covered with soda and grass stains. Asmodeus was gorgeous as always. Mammon looked like he'd been pecked half to death.

“Are…ah, are you alright?” You glanced up to see Barbatos looking down at you, though he seemed to be fighting to keep his expression together.

“No!” Mammon exclaimed, though his laughter was giving him away. “Birds!”

[donnerpartyofone]

Sometimes when I see someone get accused of racism or terfism or fascism or full-on specifically being a nazi on here, whether I've ever heard of the accused before or not, I go down this rabbit hole of trying to figure out what they did to deserve that, and it VERY rarely goes anywhere. Like the accusations are exactly as passionate and incendiary as they are empty, and most often it seems like they have to do with this relational algebra that links together masses of other blogs that have been accused of the same thing, and it's impossible to know which one of them, if any, has ever posted something that literally, genuinely impugned the rights of other human beings. The point of origin could easily be something totally spurious, a personal attack based only on pettiness, or a mythological belief about the secret significance of some celebrity, or something similarly insubstantial, but you'd never figure it out without like hiring a sociology intern to interview every single person repeating the accusation. In my direct experience, most of the time you try to follow up on the accused, you can scroll their blog forever and never find anything construably political, or even anything that's particularly connected to reality. And the accusation usually comes in the form of often-anonymous messages to other users ala "you should delete your reblog from X they are fash", and sadly the recipient very often replies "omg thank you for telling me" and immediately does what they are told. I assume they're just afraid they'll wind up on the blacklist if they don't, because I can't imagine being so trusting! But I love the reply I saw this morning to that kind of message where anon was advised to "go outside and practice talking to people" so they can work on their persuasion skills, because their current approach is totally not working. Meanwhile on Twitter I see people posting about their relentless process of reporting accounts with usernames so flagrantly vile it makes your eyes water, and Twitter does nothing about it even though the name itself is hate speech, you don't even need any further context to identify the problem. Like I'm 100% sure bigotry is alive and well on tumblr, all I'm saying is that the accusations of full-blown nazism dramatically outweigh the number of posts I see that are actually suspect. Maybe I'm just "curating my online experience" correctly. Anyway when I typed the word "nazi" way back at the top, my keyboard autocorrected it to "nation", so now my phone is canceled and I have to throw it in the toilet, bye.

[mxtcha-tea]

domestic shiratorizawa

⊹summary; the life inside the dorms of shiratorizawa

⊹pilots; gn![y/n], ushijima, tendou, semi, yamagata, reon, kawanishi, shirabu, goshiki (pairings showed; yamagata x reader, goshiki x reader)

⊹genre; fluff, crack and some cursings (no proofread)

⊹flight details; i've once made a domestic imagines in my old blog so imma make a small reboot of it <3

random shopping

normal day, normal life. you could've seen yourself laying or even napping in your room while a compilation of minecraft songs plays in the background. but no. instead, you're inside an antique shop with Yamagata, Ushijima and Tendou.

you have no idea when, or how did the process happened but you surely is done with getting dragged inside the shop by Tendou and Yamagata.

while Ushijima's stuck on a section, you don't know where, but he's definitely stuck there, "[y/n]! look at what i found,"

Yamagata called you as you turned around to see him holding up a pretty heavy doll. you raise your brow, "what the hell is that?" walking towards him and taking a closer look at the object in hand,

"i think it's a, um, i think a matryoska doll? matroyska? is that how you say it?" "why're you asking me, i don't know jack shit about russian stuff,"

"ah you mean, matryoshka doll?" Tendou butted in, startling you two, "it's also called a 'nesting doll' and did you actually know that it was actually originated from china?"

Yamagata's eyes practically sparkled at that with a surprised look, "from china? really?"

you can only roll your eyes, "and how can you even know all that?" Tendou snickered and put on a smug face, "i'm actually very smart, y'know. ya'll just don't know about it," "says the person in class 2,"

"i blame the mathematic old hags for adding letters in math, and the apple that fucking hit my man Isaac," you tsk'ed and walk towards the next section. Yamagata passive aggressively put the matryoshka doll down and follow after you along with Tendou,

"also, we need to find ushijima, i think he's stuck in some section between here...ah there," you stopped walking and turn to your right where you find Ushijima reading a book.

Tendou skipped towards him and smack his shoulder, "you okay, wakatoshi-kun? you sure did took longer to look at the stuff here," while Tendou chats with Ushijima, Yamagata look up at the shelves as something caught his eyes.

he tried to reach it while tip toing but due to his height, he can't reach it. then, he jumped from his spot to grab the object but end up hitting his head onto the board, "AGH, FUCK!" which causes you all to look at him, watching him hold his head while shivering from the pain,

"are you okay, yamagata?" ushijima ask, putting back the book on the shelves, "yeah, yeah, i'm just tryna get that," he shakes his head before pointing up.

you followed his finger and caught a glimpse of an old polaroid. it's a little bit dusty but other than that, it looks new. Ushijima reached it from his spot and managed to grab it, "here,"

he hands it to Yamagata as he instantly recovered from his recent pain and snatch it from Ushijima's hand, subtly thanking him with a grin, "why do you even need a polaroid?" Tendou asked, leaning his arm over Ushijima's shoulder with one brow up,

"pfft, for journaling of course,"

a gust of wind went through you while staring at him with a poker face, the same with Tendou with a small cat like smile. Ushijima just looked the same,

"okay," "WHAT'S WITH THE TONE??" you blinked and just knit your eyebrows, "i mean, since when you started journaling? you're not even the type of person to do something aesthetic,"

he pouted and just crosses his arms, "so what? that doesn't mean i can't do it, right? have faith in me god darn it. and honestly, my journal looks good so far," "well, fine,"

you waved your hand at him and continue going through the other section. and just like that, "hey wait!" Yamagata tailed after you.

Tendou snickered at the two and focus back on Ushijima, who's still watching the display yet again, "have you thought of what to buy wakatoshi-kun?" "i'm not sure, there's a lot of interesting stuff here," "well, you've only been in this section but okay~"

studying

"agh, why did those idiots really have to call me at this time...?"

you groaned, slowly walking through the halls with a slouched figure. tracing your fingers along the wall with a dejected look. you're suppose to sleep today.

an hour or two long sleep. it's finally the weekend which means the time for you to sleep all of your problems away. drifting into slumber with fluffy pillows and warm blankets, enjoying your dream as long as you can.

until your ringtone annoyingly rings next to your ear. you answer the call, and again greeted by the most annoying human in the planet,

"[y/n], we need you at the gym right now!"

"huh? oh fuck off Tendou, i need to sleep right now,"

"nuh uh, you can sleep later after you go to the gym,"

"why? are you, i don't know, practicing or something?"

"you have to find out. if you don't move your ass from that bed, we'll send Hayato to wake you up~"

". . ."

and now, you find yourself standing in front of the door of shiratorizawa's volleyball gym. not only that Tendou wakes you up from your sleep, you also had to WALK all the way from your dorm to the gym,

"i'm gonna add more time to their practices after this..."

sliding the door open, you expect them to be doing serves or maybe spikes.

but instead, you're seeing them—as in the 3rd years—all sitting down at the middle of the court, with books around them.

and what's even more confusing is that they somehow managed to bring a table inside. no, not the flip-able table.

literally a whole ass table.

Reon looks up from his book and notices your figure standing on the door way. he waves his hand at you, you did the same but still with a confused look.

Yamagata was next to see you as he abruptly stand up from his spot, shaking the table in the process,

"Hayato! stop shaking the table," "oops, sorry. ah, wait, [y/n]!"

that caught all of the boys attention as they look at you, "what taking you so long to arrive?" Tendou asked, a pen rested in between his upper lip and nose.

Semi smacked him in the face—earning an 'ow'—before shaking his head,

"their dorm is literally far from the gym, and why do you even proposed your idea of studying at the gym anyway?"

you make your way towards them, Reon patting the empty spot next to him. you sat down on your spot as Yamagata did the same. seemed like he was waiting for you.

Tendou rubbed his nose and pouted at Semi, "this was the best place to study anyway! it have much more room,"

"we should've gone to the cafeteria OR the LIBRARY," Semi groaned, looking back at his book before writing on it,

"pfft, the cafeteria's no fun. and i got banned from the library," Reon looks at Tendou with confusion, "well, it's not surprising,"

Tendou shrugged, "i was also banned from the library," Ushijima said, not looking up from his notes as you knit your eyebrows at that,

"you're also banned from the library? Satori, what did you and Ushijima did—" "anyways, um,"

he cut you off, fidgeting with his pen before pointing it at you, "right, you need to tutor us on this subject~!"

you blinked, looking down at the book they're studying about, "haven't the teacher covered this already?"

"well, i'm sorry, class 6. but we have no idea how this thing works. maybe only Reon, but look at Semi,"

Tendou wrapped his arm around Semi's neck, practically head locking him, "he's from class 1 and i think you should teach him about this the most," "I'll rip your fucking head off, Tendou!"

while both of them tried to strangle each other, Yamagata caught your attention next,

"and also, it won't be fun without you, y'know," Reon nodded, "and don't forget that you can't leave me alone in this,"

"oh right," "hm? what was that?" Yamagata asked. you just shake your head with a defeated smile, "nothing..."

after clearing your throat, you snatched Semi's book away before flipping through the pages,

"okay you scumbags, it's time to learn,"

oblivious enough

the birds chirped from the tree, the hallway's as loud as ever. Semi and Tendou's leaning against the window, each of them drinking apple juice and eating yakisoba bread.

it was silence between them before Semi spoke, "hey, Tendou," "yes Semi-Semi?" "y'know,"

Semi turned his head to look at Tendou as the redhead did the same, "have you, noticed the relationship between [y/n] and Yamagata lately?"

the latter made a thinking face, before nodding, "hm, seems so,"

"do you think, either one of them ever noticed about it?" Tendou shakes his head at the question, "nope, i don't think they do. in fact, they might be completely oblivious to it,"

Semi snickered, "right, like that one time..."

"[y/n], do you think my lips are dry right now?"

you look up from your clipboard, seeing Yamagata pointing his lips, "hm, nah. they're fine, but if you want, i can but on some lip balm,"

his eyes sparkled at that as he nodded his head with excitement, "sure!" you walk towards your bag with Yamagata following you. opening the zipper and search inside it, you pull out your lip balm,

"here, hold still," you put a hand on his cheek while the other applies lip balm onto his lips. it was a slow process but he managed to not move at all while making eye contact with you.

once you finished applying, he pop his lips before humming, "mn, cherry," "let me know if you need anything else,"

he nodded with now flushed cheeks as he smile at you. you did the same, gently patting his arm.

from a distance, Shirabu looks at them with a disgusted look, "ugh, can't they be more subtle about it,"

Kawanishi shrugged, "just let them be,"

"how can i redo my memory? i don't need to see that this early," "well, what if it was us?" "i would be twice as grossed, i can put my own lip balm," "hm yeah, you're right, i honestly would be like that too," "good,"

"haha yeah, now that i think about it, they do it all the time right?" Tendou nodded at Semi's statement before hearing the all too familiar voice just a few meters away from them,

"[y/n]!"

you turned your head around while still sipping your drink. Yamagata stood in front of you, holding out his visibly crumpled necktie with a small smile,

"my necktie!" "ah again? whatever," you give your drink to him as he hold it for you.

grabbing the necktie from his hand, looping it around his collar shirt and started tying it with a concentrated look,

"i can't say that it'll be clean when i finished tying it," "it's okay! that's why i'm asking you to do it, messy or not, at least i have it on," "hm, yeah,"

after you finished tying it and patting it a little, Yamagata hugged you, "thank you!" "yeah, you're welcome,"

the aura literally radiates on the slightly crowded hallway as some of the students who passed you talked among themselves.

Semi and Tendou stared at you two, expressionless eyes but with a small smile,

'ah, right,'

Tendou sighed, intertwining his fingers together and lifting it up to his cheeks, "ah, young love~"

"we're all the same age,"

"young love~"

bonus; reliable kouhai

lifeless.

is what goshiki would say when he took a few glances at you from his book. you promised to tutor him about this subject he's struggling on. but didn't really expect to see your slouched form walking inside the library.

he's not even sure if you even hear anything you're saying right now, "get a shovel and two-" your head hit the table, creating a loud sound and catching the attention of almost everyone inside the library,

"[y/n]-senpai, um, are you okay??" you groaned and rapidly blink your eyes, covering your forehead, "yeah, 'm just..."

a yawn escaped from your mouth before you can even finish your sentence, "...tired. those stupid senpais of yours need help tutoring too even tho being grown ass men,"

goshiki closes his book and creating a small 'thump', snapping you out from your mind,

"well, if that so then you didn't have to come, you could've just tell me and i would be fine with it!" your hoarse laugh caught him off guard as a shade of red ran across his cheeks, "i can't break a promise, tsutomu. why do you even think i agree on tutoring you?"

"uh, cause you want to help me with my studies?" "one of it, and cause i enjoy tutoring you," he can feel his cheeks heating up more when you made eye contact with him, a small smile laced upon your face,

"and honestly, you're smarter than i thought. class 4 right? that's cool," he looked away, trying to calm his nerves down, "t-thanks! a lot of people thought i was in a lower class, so i, i appreciate it,"

goshiki took a peek at you, now burying your face onto your face, "also, senpai," "hm?"

"you should take a nap for now, i think i can start understanding this formula," you slightly look up at him, "you sure? i was prolly talking craps just now," "yeah! your health is more important anyway,"

you hum, offering him a warm smile, "thanks, i know i can count on you," you rested onto your side and close your eyes. lips slightly parted and just like that, you're deep in your dreams.

he pursed his lips, slowly leaning against the table to look at your face. it's calm, peaceful and beautiful, kissable lips. he wonder if he could lean in a little closer until you two-

goshiki instantly jolted up and hit himself on the head, face's covered in the color red, 'no! don't think about that, curse you Tendou-San for introducing me to those mangas...'

Tendou's faces ran across his mind as he grunted,

'why're they so pretty??'

[swordofsun]

I posted 3,394 times in 2022

That's 2,656 more posts than 2021!

153 posts created (5%)

3,241 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sidewalk-scrawls

@deanandkastiel

@jewishdeanwinchester

@aceofthegreenajah

@thycatsays

I tagged 1,745 of my posts in 2022

Only 49% of my posts had no tags

#wheel of time - 226 posts

#wot book spoilers - 136 posts

#the boys - 104 posts

#the boys spoilers - 88 posts

#wot on prime - 80 posts

#spnwin - 57 posts

#stranger things - 42 posts

#the winchesters - 38 posts

#the magnus archives - 36 posts

#leverage - 35 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#then dean and cas talked about his deal with the empty and carefully held hands as we closed on them starting to research how to fix things

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

There should be one of those reblog game things where we just say The most fucked up scene from Animorphs that still lives in our heads. Occasionally coming out to remind you that those books were Fucked Up.

Mine would be the time Marco almost got stuck as a flea and only managed to partially de-morph so he was a human sized flea and Cassie had to gently hold giant flea Marco and talk him through his panic attack so he could finish de-morphing.

139 notes - Posted February 4, 2022

#4

Okay, @wigglebox wanted me to post this over here and they would follow up with their bonkers dutch angles stuff.

This is a "what the fuck is Dean doing in The Winchesters" theory. It takes Chuck Won as a given and is based on how insanely meta s15 was on top of the show being meta a fuck + the SPNWIN preview and the couple of scenes of tv static + Cas literally being narrative breaking + general vibes.

At some point after the end of 15x18 and the beginning of 15x20 Dean literally stepped out of the narrative. What we're seeing is Chuck's POV. This is the ending he wanted, the ending we never really got to see but that Becky hated so damn much. (Becky the audience insert that is given an absolutely lovely life to show how much the show cares for it's audience.) The Dean we see is a Chuck puppet or illusion of some sort.

Chuck may not have realized Dean stepped out of the narrative.

The real Dean, The True Dean, is off to the side. Just out of sight of the camera, watching it all go down. He can't effect anything because Sam and other Dean (if there even is an Other Dean) just go through the motions. Even more disturbing if it's like in Heaven when someone steps out of the memory and everyone else just continues on like they're there. There's no pie, no one on the piece of rebar, just Sam reacting as if there was. No one driving the Impala, just Chuck controlling everything.

Cas was literally narrative breaking. He didn't do what Chuck wanted and, through the power of love (an actual thing in SPN), Dean is able to make that step too. Just off camera where we can't see him watching.

So the Dean that we see in the SPNWIN preview is searching for the point where the narrative started. He's going back over his parent's story to figure out just when Chuck started actively taking an meddling role. With the end result a Cas rescue from the Empty and actually defeating Chuck.

(And possible AU where we get to see Mary and John without heaven's influence?)

139 notes - Posted July 13, 2022

#3

Sometimes it still amazes me that Stellar Firma really said:

Some people can be so bought into the system that even when they acknowledge the problems they will refuse to admit the system is at fault (Enola)

Even the most die-hard of revolutionaries can get lost when shown the decadence of the ruling class (David 7)

The most morally corrupt person you know can learn empathy and take up the fight (Trexel)

The only ethical solution to end-stage capitalism is to put everyone in the escape pods and hit the self-destruct button

That was a show.

202 notes - Posted April 25, 2022

#2

The important thing to remember about Rand al'Thor is that when he doesn't know what to do next he consults the prophecies that have been written about him for guidance.

The next important thing to remember is that while he's a giant nerd he's not classically trained so he'll jump to some wild ass conclusions.

The final thing to remember is that because he's Rand al'Thor he'll almost always be right about those conclusions.

272 notes - Posted July 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Yes, Harvey Dent is a Good Guy. That's part of his whole thing. He was Bruce Wayne's best friend and possibly the only honest DA in Gotham. He did good things and was a nice and honest person.

He's not Two Face yet! And even when he does become Two Face he's still a good guy approximately 50% of the time. That's where the coin flipping comes in. This is why Two Face is such an iconic villian and why you need a really great character actor foe the role. Once Harvey becomes Two Face the actor is essentially playing Two characters.

I'm so excited to see Misha sink his teeth into this role.

872 notes - Posted May 31, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. CXXIV

It was a love story from the very beginning.

"I Love--"

(15×09)

Hello my friends! We are here again in Purgatory of Love 2.0 and the ILY that did was, but writers wanted us to think it was hahahahaa. *I hate you Dabb*.

This is a summary of my meta from episode 15x09 with some new addition.

You can find all my metas from this episode in the following links: X, X, X and X.

The Break is Huge

I'm just gonna point how bad things are between Dean and Castiel.

And I want to bring back here one scene I didn't put in the previous volume...

Gifset credit @jellydeans

CASTIEL: No idea. He was very distraught.

DEAN: Yeah, but what exactly did he say?

CASTIEL: "Leave. Get out. I want you dead". We didn't bond.

Castiel uses this opportunity to remind Dean his own hard words to him the day he left. And Dean's face is priceless, that swallow showing he knows exactly what he said to Castiel. But, as always, he can't just use his words to ask for forgiveness.

Things are not okay... are worse than ever.

Coming back to episode 9, at the beginning, things are still bad.

Gifset credit @starlightcastiel

Their fights are getting wilder, Castiel is plenty hones with his own frustration and anger against Dean, and it shows. He's just tired. Dean can't believe Castiel is calling him like that just because Castiel doesn't use that words with him. This was written to show us how bad things are between them.

And they kept fighting and fighting, and Dean trying to avoid Castiel when they arrive to Purgatory...

DEAN: (...)Okay. Let's split up.

CAS: What?

DEAN: You go that way. I'll go this way. We'll meet back at the Rift, alright? We'll cover more ground. We'll better our odds.

CAS: Yeah. We'll also improve our odds of getting lost or killed. Come on.

We can see here again, how tired Castiel is about Dean's childish behavior to not be alone with Castiel and not face him as an adult in an adult conversation. Just avoid the huge elephant. Right?

If we make an analysis about these two situations, we can conclude:

The important thing here, is that Castiel is the one thinking like a strategist, taking war decision, focused on the mission. Like the soldier he is, and Dean was so unfocused, that Cas had to take the command. The first time is when he made Dean decline his plan to rescue Sam and go to Purgatory for that blossom, and the second time was when they just arrived to Purgatory, Dean wanted to go separately, and Cas shoved that idea off. And after that, he said LET'S GO, so, Commander Castiel had given an order!!!! And Dean followed it!

Dean seemed to be uncomfortable by Castiel's side, that's why he proposed him to go separated, and that's why he named Benny. He needed a third one to avoid Castiel.

Another hard conversation is the one before they went into the trap.

CAS: Well, this place will bring that out in you. Guilt. It was my fault the Leviathan got out. It was my fault we were here the first time. I carry that guilt every day.

DEAN: I know you're sorry, Cas. About Bel, about Mom.

CAS: I was talking about Jack. I already apologized to you. You just refused to hear it.

DEAN: Sorry I brought it up. Maybe if you didn't just up and leave us.

CAS: You didn't give me a choice. You couldn't forgive me. And you couldn't move on. You were too angry. I left, but you didn't stop me.

Cas was honest again... The hard quote he threw Dean, after trying to show him he was sorry because of Jack, and he already had said I'm sorry to Dean, but he didn't want to listen, Dean couldn't move on. The hard quote came after Dean played his card saying Cas left, blaming him for leaving... The hard quote from Cas was... "I LEFT, BUT YOU DIDN'T STOP ME." This was like a bomb my friends!!! Dean remained speechless again!!!!

It's as if Cas was saying... 'You wanted me to leave. That's why you didn't stop me.'

Purgatory not only brings guilt, but also, purity of heart. It's about facing your deep and repressed feelings. And that's why it had to be here where Dean had to apologize and recognize his love for the angel... even when he didn't say ILY.

Love is in the Air

The Prayer

Dean lost Castiel again. And he is literally, DESPERATE. He doesn't know what to do, because he has been walking and looking for him, but Castiel is not there.

Finally, Dean succumbs on his knees, and prays to Castiel...

DEAN: Cas? Cas, I hope you can hear me... that wherever you are, it's not too late. I should've stopped you. You're my best friend, but I just let you go. 'Cause it was easier than admitting I was wrong.

I – Ohh. I don't know why I get so angry. I just know – I know that it's – i-it's just always been there. And when things go bad, it just – it comes out. And I can't -- I can't stop it. No matter how – [Sniffles] how bad I want to, I just can't stop it. And – And I – I forgive you. Of course I forgive you. I'm sorry it took me so long – [Sniffles] I'm sorry it took me till now to say it. Cas, I'm – I'm so sorry. Man, I hope you can hear me.

Gif credit @starlightcastiel

The prayer exposed Dean's deep misery as a human, Dean talked about this toxic behavior, he know he acts like that, hurting people by his side, throwing his own guilt and fears against the ones he loves. He began the prayer with the last honest quote Cas told him... I SHOULD STOP YOU. When Cas left. Dean should stop him, why? BECAUSE YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND. I will stop in this quote... Dean is talking about him, he is not saying YOU ARE OUR BEST FRIEND, he is saying MY. That's a huge step, and also it is important to understand he is not saying YOU ARE LIKE A BROTHER, he is not putting Castiel in that position, as he did in episode 11x23, using the words BEST FRIEND, is a huge step for Dean.

He recognized he was angry, and he threw his crap to Cas, who had always been there.

Then he took the I'm sorry Castiel had said to him, several times, and he answered OF COURSE I FORGIVE YOU. Because how couldn't he? How couldn't he forgive Castiel? That's a huge quote there too, he is saying, no matter what Cas does or says, Dean will always forgive him, you do that just with people you love, deeply.

Then, he repeats I'm sorry a lot of times, with tears running on his face, that's heartbreaking, and that's too sincere. The huge fact is... He's kneeled down while he is asking for Castiel's forgiveness.

After this scene, we had the big Destiel reunion. They way Castiel says "You made it" to Dean and Dean confused gaze always got me. Because it's talking about the way Dean was able to find Castiel, and that was because they share a profound bond. That manifestation of their profound bond, gave me the idea about how Dean coul rescue Castiel from the Empty.

Gifset credit @agusvedder

When Cas was talking how he escaped and got the blossom, Dean made this face... This is a face of someone about to jump to the pull. Anxiety, heart eyes, and tryin to encourage himself to do it. Do what? A love confession.

Dean was about to confess his love for Castiel here, I'm pretty sure right now, this was a symbolism to show the C*W won't allow this. That's why, before the last episode was aired, in the prologue in which they're showed a lot of mixed scenes and the cast was interviewed, they showed us the prayer again... because they wanted us to see DEAN SAID HE LOVED CASTIEL HERE, HE JUST DIDN'T SAY IT WITH WORD, BUT IN HIS MIND, IN HIS PRAYER. But that was not enough to us and to Dean. Because Dean needed to express his feelings and Castiel needed to hear he loved him.

That's why all the vomits, and gagging and spitting in this season, foreshadowing this moment. And it ends with Dean swallowing his words, again.

He was about to say it...

Here... What was Dean about to say? I'm sorry again??? I don't think so, he had let that very clear in his prayer, and he knows Cas heard him, because he always hears his prayers... Then? What was he about to say?? Adding the previous face we already analyzed... First the jumping into the pull face, going through some heart eyes session, now is time... For the love confession... But.. Cas avoided it...

Castiel had to avoid it because HAPPINESS, something he can't feel, yet.

Perfectly settled to hide the fact that C*W and some writers and producers didn't want Destiel to happen, right?

Cas thought Dean wanted to say I'm sorry again? No. I truly believe Cas knows what was Dean about to say.. because look...

Dean swallowed the I LOVE YOU for Castiel. He swallowed his words. Because THEY SILENCED HIM.

So, everything is solved. Castiel heard Dean's prayer in which writers want us to think he said it in the prayer. In his mind. And Castiel heard him.

But Dean couldn't close his character I Love Journey. And Castiel couldn't hear him say it back.

To Conclude:

The Destiel reunion was a beautiful hug, heart eyes, anxiety, butterflies in their stomachs, but it couldn't give Dean's character what they deserved: to express their feelings through his words.

But even so, They love each other so much, they always find each other.

Hope you like this meta, see you in the next one.

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @dizzypinwheel @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @belacoded @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @deancasgirl777

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you wanna red the previous metas from this season, here you have the links:

Vol. CXXI, CXXII, CXXIII.

Buenos Aires August 1st 2021 1:10 PM

[intuitive-bbloom]

Hiiii Bbloom 🥺

Thank you so much . You are so sweet and kind and I'm so grateful you and some of my friends are always bringing me so much positivity. It really helps sometimes. But at other times I will fall into darkness again . Somewhere in shadow. I see many people brace themselves for life. They are so strong and brave. I start to feel like I'm not strong as my friends think. I just can't.

My depression is becoming dreadful I'm kinda suicidal and it's really easy for me to commit it ( I have done a lot research on it damn I am a bit crazy ) even though I don't live alone. I still go out with my friends I try to cook and immerse myself in studies and my new part time job. Yet, I feel empty , though I can't forget all of pain I have gone through. ( I found out I have Neptune square ascendant in my birth chart :-: of late. It sounds horrible)

I'm telling myself if I just can't get over it I would end my life by the end of November because I just can't. I respect life but sometimes it's really hard to breathe. It's not just about a simple breakup. I suspect I always hate being abandoned by the loved one. And recently I found some words resonate a lot : " I'm not ready to let the youthful part of myself go yet. If maturity means becoming a cynic, if you have to kill the part of yourself that is naive and romantic and idealistic - the part of you that you treasure most - to claim maturity, is it not better to die young but with your humanity intact?"

💜💜💜💜💜

Love

Please don't feel pressured. 🥺 Life is life. It's beautiful and sometimes you can't help ending it quick.

TW: Death, suicide

Hey there my angel! ❤💕💕💕✨✨

I understand you so much, I really do. You may not realize it but you're really really strong, stronger than you realize and I want to hug you so tight and tell you that you've tried. Most times we can't fight the darkness but I'm telling you that in due time that it'll be over, all this madness will soon come to an end and it won't be by your own hands taking your life. I'm glad that I'm one of the people that give you positivity, that's all I ever wanted my blog to be, a safe space with nice loving energies, I want people to smile and have a nice time here and if they're sad and going through something I'm here for them, for you. I understand your pain, and no you're not crazy because I'm not better than you, I've been down so bad before that I was ready to end it all, I even wrote my su*cide letter but as I was writing it I became hopeful and decided not to follow through, I thought about my sister and how devastated she would be and how alone she would feel. I too want happiness, we all deserve happiness and a good ending. Please don't take your life, the hurt will soon fade, think about all the good stuff you love, that meal you eat that makes you excited, how that fanfiction from your favorite author who's yet to update makes you squeal in delight at 3am, what about your favorite show or the feeling of water on the beach running through your feet. Sui*ide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I feel you too, I have abandonment issues so I know where you're coming from, I don't like to trauma dump but I want to be as real as possible, I can't tell you that everyone won't leave you right now because everyone leaves one way or the other but all I can say is that one day you'll meet someone/people who will never ever leave you, that you'll always meet them lifetime after lifetime, you'll one day meet your soul family and you won't have to be scared anymore.

That quote is so touching, if that's the cost of maturity then don't mature, there's no reason to die young to hold onto such treasures, just carry your youth and live it unapologetically.

Life is like a piano, you have both the white keys and dark ones but that's what makes it beautiful. I know I might be sad and stuff but I have faith that one day I'll be happy and I'll get that happiness one way or the other. I wish happiness and healing on you too, you will come out stronger. I love you and believe in you *hugs you and kisses your forehead* great job! You will be okay. You will survive.

[all-brown-everything]

My favourite Indian films of 2018

Sorry for the wait this year. 2018 in the movies mirrored my own life a lot; the films on the list are films to love, make you feel something human, and they force you to take their characters and hold them close to your chest as if they were your own. While the most interesting mainstream movies from South Asia over previous years on this blog have excelled when they chose to experiment with the language of cinema itself, the 10 I’ve written about here have, similar to great literature, embraced pain, longing, love and everything else that comes with being alive.

10. Theevandi

I’ve seen this film being described as an “anti-smoking movie.” I couldn’t disagree more. It’s a story about the nature of habit (rather than the disease of ‘addiction’), of locating the source of your personality, your soul, and trying to change it against the will of nature. During my time in India this year, nothing brought more joy than an ice burst and cutting tea at the side of the road, perching on the side of the pavement and watching life carry on around you. And while this is a film with a main character who wants to quit smoking, it isn’t about cancer. It isn’t about that horrible sooty smell at the end of your fingers, or yellowing teeth or a decreased sperm count. It’s about how something as innocuous as a tube of rolled up tobacco hanging out of your mouth can act as a fragile crutch for the entire weight of the world.

9. Laila Majnu

Like many of my favourites this year (and every year), this re-telling of one of South Asia’s most important romances wants to know what love is. Here, we see love not as a generous, giving emotion, but as pure greed. With one of Bollywood’s most gorgeous soundtracks, that bleeds furiously out of every frame, and a constant sparkling gleam of glamour over these gorgeous young actors and the Kashmiri hills they prance around in, I enjoyed this enough just based on the commercial tropes it toys with for fun. But its real beauty lies in its brave and painful final declaration; that the most divine love may connect you to God and remove your soul from your body, but it will destroy you and your connections to the Earth, as the cruelest form of asceticism.

8. Cake

I’m including a Pakistani movie (again) because our film industries were birthed under one national identity, and I don’t see the studios of Karachi as any more culturally distant from Mumbai’s Film City than Kodambakkam. Moving to Cake, this stunning portrait of a dysfunctional family surprised me against all my instincts that it was a Western-facing production clearly aimed at piercing its way into festivals and a patronising ‘World Cinema’ bracket. It is in fact, a study of shifting societal politics in an increasingly extreme and polarised World, of figuring out where your values stand in the midst of religion, feudalism and globalisation, and accepting that when these heavy, abstract concepts weigh down on your shoulders, it is the human beings around you who will feel the strain first.

7. Golak, Bugni, Bank Te Batua

I really love Punjabi cinema. Seeing it come into its own and reclaim its cultural narratives and aesthetics from bastardizing Bollywood (where now even a film set in rural Gujarat will feature a Punjabi language song) has brought a lot of joy. Now here comes a  happy little film not set on preaching the glory of Sikkhi or telling an epic tale of brave warriors or earnest farmers, but on bringing us into the lives of a middle class Hindu Punjabi family in a small mohalla of a tier 2 city. And these aren’t the Hindu “Punjabis” of a Bollywood movie set in Chandni Chowk, who might throw in a “tussi” or “tuadi” here and there at the most. These are real people with a real culture, as intertwined with Punjab and their Sikh neighbours as they are separate. The film doesn’t patronise them by drawing humour from their novel identity; the situational character-based slapstick and witty back-and-forth theatrical dialogues exist in a warm parallel with the “World” of the movie. And then the lives of these people change in one instant as demonetisation hits, and we are hilariously reminded that whether you’re Hindu or Sikh, Northern or Southern, you are (unfortunately) still in India.

6. C/o Kancharapalem

I won't say this film stood out as a "Telugu movie", as such slight, subtle films are an anomaly no matter what language they're made in or how brash those other films produced in the same mother tongue may be. These small and quiet tales, with their shy characters who live at the fringes of society, whether that mean they are Muslim prostitutes or simple middle class teachers carving out a living in a small village, are special because they manage to transmit such humanity without stirring from the dark alleyways or shaded courtyards where they take place. Not every film needs to stand tall like an intimdsting Tolstoy tome; some can be as unassuming as an RK Narayan novella and still make us feel like they're an epic.

5. Pyaar Prema Kaadhal

Let's be honest. Casting two leads from a reality show, putting heart shaped balloons in your posters and deciding on the title "Love, Love, Love" pretty much screams "trash" doesn't it? But here was a humbling reminder that Indian popular culture can surprise you in the most pleasant of ways. These two good-looking young wannabe-stars and their social media followings represent so much about the "new India", a steadfastly singular culture (or cultures) whizzing through the fiery hoops of globalisation at breakneck speed, coming to terms with a mixed up value system, raging sexual frustration and an ever widening class gap, all of which have left a generation feeling more connected yet more alienated than ever before. This is 'Pyaar, Prema, Kaadhal', a flawed and horny love story, sweating with tension and all the repulsive angst of human emotion, yet with the glamorous musical heart of Indian cinema still beating loudly underneath.

4. Manmarziyaan

There was as much to love about 'Manmarziyaan' as there was to hate. The age-old filmi love triangle rears its head again, only this time with characters who are more manipulative and frustrating than any you've seen in a "mainstream" movie before. But while the film never forces you to judge (at times leaving you confused about whether you're actually supposed to like any of these people) it demands that you engage. It's encouraged some of the finest writing on cinema I've seen in recent years, and such an unashamedly "Bollywood" film inspiring this thrilling thought and analysis from our finest critics (whether their judgement is kind or not) warrants its inclusion on this list alone. Then there's the way its incredible soundtrack weaves in and out of scenes like the characters own breaths, the way life changing moments are obscured from the script by deafening silences and acutely observed minutiae, and of course THAT lead performance. I'm not sure if I "liked" it or not, but I sure as hell can't wait to watch it again.

3. Pari

The better the film, the harder it is to write about. 'Pari' is rich with metaphor. While being a ghost story (and a damn good one) merely on the surface, it has plenty to say about the way our society treats women, poses the question of if we can truly be born evil, and even critiques our savage treatment of "the other" in a global society where more of us are on the run than settled in our homes. But I think its biggest strength is that while it challenges you to reach into the very centre of your being and take a look at yourself and the World around you, its craft and screenwriting is so good that not at any moment does it give you a second to realise that's what you're doing.

2. Rangasthalam

'Rangasthalam' is so great. Like really really great. Once an innocuous muscle man, Ram Charan has channelled his inner Dhanush and located his physicality, writhing and slanging his way into the mind and body of the quintessential South Indian rural hero, hoisting his lungi and flicking his beedi into one of the most visceral and truly cinematic masala movies in living memory. The thumping pace and kinetic choreography (both of the rousing song sequences and the busy, lived-in frames of the rest of the movie) evoke a dusty, violent world with the same panache of Ameer in 'Paruthiveeran' or Sasikumar in 'Subramaniyapuram', while the moustache twirling dialogues and meticulous emotional beats offer as much pure fun as a "Dabangg" or a "Khakee" or any classic Hindi masala movie. I've read pieces linking the cinema of 'Rangasthalam' to film noir traditions, but to me it simply proved that the masala genre still has as much excitement to offer as any other.

1. Mukkabaaz

I'll remember 2018 as the year that Anurag Kashyap, previously India's frontrunner in the realm of "interesting" (but more often headscatching) cinema, stopped thinking with his very big brain and instead used his even bigger heart. His most straightforward film is undoubtedly his best, Hollywood-esque in its writing but firmly Indian in its sentiment. The scale is small - empty boxing arenas, bleak winding village paths and a cast plucked from the TV screen - but its emotions are pure opera. This is a timeless film, and though it laughs at the ridiculousness of modern India, poking a nasty smug finger at caste oppression, petty politics and the bureaucratic nightmare of simply trying to stay alive, it defies analysis. Much like the song at the centre of the story, the violently stunning 'Paintra', it only asks that you feel. And what more could we want from cinema?

I've had so much fun at the movies this year. From dancing to Dilbar in the cheap seats of G7 in Bandra to reciting Dhanush's Maari 2 dialogues at the bus stop outside Ilford Cineworld, Indian movies have continued to punctuate my life and bring me more joy than they have any right to. I can't wait to do this all again this year. What were the films that stirred you over the last 12 months? Let me know. Xx