#there are no butches where i live except mine + while the plan would b to stun all queer women in the area it will have to be my butch only

[mysticfemme]

it's my first time celebrating valentines day as a femme in a relationship (didn't celebrate it with previous partners) and my ENTIRE outfit is coordinated, everything sticks to the theme of hearts and black, red and pink including my dress, shoes, socks, hair claw, necklace, heart shaped bag, makeup, and my lingerie

[definitearticle]

How Not To Do an Erotic Hypnosis Workshop

Crossposted from FetLife.

Tonight, I attended TNG Portland's Erotic Hypnosis Workshop (presenter's name intentionally omitted. It's available elsewhere on the [FetLife] site, and if anyone is curious, I can provide it PM).

Okay. So.

First off, I want to make sure that it's clear that the event organizers, TNG Portland, did a fantastic job of planning the event. The topic (erotic hypnosis) is dear to my heart, the venue (Q Center) is amazing, and the advertising was solid. And it showed; 30 people turned out for a presentation that charged $15 per person and $25 per couple. That kind of turnout for a niche topic like hypnosis is outstanding.

Also, I want to state categorically that the opinions expressed herein are mine and mine alone; that they are opinions based solely on my own experiences; and that they do not necessarily represent the opinions or feelings of anyone, living or dead, real or imaginary, other than myself. They are also my recollection of the events that transpired, not an objective third-person omniscient narrative. Terms and conditions apply, see store for details.

He'd better get to the point soon.

The event was scheduled for 2 hours, and that limit was solid. Given that hypnosis is pretty complex, and this was billed as a workshop, I wasn't sure what to expect. The presenter (let's call her N) passed out a good 6 or 7 handouts, only one of which appeared to pertain to hypnosis, and none of which were ever referenced in the presentation. I still haven't looked at them.

The first 35 minutes were N introducing herself, telling stories of her discovering hypnosis in the early '60s, her drug use and study of transcendental meditation in the late '60s, her exploration of S&M in the 70s (including details about an accommodating husband, an incestuous fling with a cousin, and personal ads in the town newspaper advertising first for a Dom and then for a sub), and her bona fides as a BDSM leader, having founded a kink support group in 1986 and spread it nationwide.

The next 20 minutes were spent with each attendee introducing themselves and sharing what they wanted with the group, especially about their experience with, or interest in, hypnosis. The group was a pretty even mix, with some experienced practitioners, some newcomers, some skeptics, and a good handful of people too shy to share anything.

N then announced that she would need two volunteers, which she would find during a 10-minute bio break. "They don't need to be subs, though that would be useful," N said.

During the break, N tapped her volunteers. The first volunteer, whom we'll call A, spent most of his time during the introductions explaining that he was a skeptic. The second volunteer, whom we'll call B, was incredibly shy and didn't speak much, if at all, during the intros. N asked both A and B if there was anyone in the group that they were attracted to. At least one of them, and perhaps both, mentioned my friend, whom we'll call C. I recently introduced C to hypnosis, and she's really enthusiastic. She's also on the TNG Board.

After the break, N led the workshop in a 35-40 minute long group trance, using a standard induction (stare at a point on the ceiling, take slow, deep breaths, relax, and eventually close your eyes) and tactile deepener (she went around to each participant, lifted their right hand by the thumb, and dropped it back into their lap, telling them that it would drop them deeper into trance). N then had us envision various incarnations of love, such as the face of a child, the touch and voice of a loved one, making love as a young person, etc. She then brought us each up, leaving A and B entranced.

Except...it didn't appear that A was entranced.

Quick point: N's choice of a skeptic and a shy person is a pretty standard one. Being able to drop a skeptic and cause a shy person to behave as an extrovert are standard methods of proving bona fides as a hypnotist. However, they've got to actually drop and become responsive for this to work.

N encouraged A to stand up, dance, and show his ass. A stood and said he didn't want to dance, but he would be happy to moon us, which he did. When he refused to do more (I believe that N was trying to get him to do a striptease, but she wasn't expressing it very well), the event organizer spoke up and said that it was clear he didn't want to do it.

So N asked C to come up so that A could dance sexily for her. C appeared to be very uncomfortable with the idea of being used as a prop to circumvent an expressed lack of consent for the activity, but stood and said that she'd be there for him for moral support. C stood next to a visibly awkward A, and when it was clear to N that nothing had changed, she had him sit down and turned to B.

Except...yeah, you see where this is going. If she was entranced at all, B appeared to have come out of trance by this point.

N tried to get B to dance. She did a shy and awkward dance that looked sort of like the mashed potato, but likewise declined to do more and quickly sat back down.

Faced with two wide awake and reluctant subjects, N decided that the best course of action would be to wrap up the session. She did this by rubbing A and B's back while reciting a poem that she had written, an incredibly long set of rhymed couplets told from the perspective of a man who loves to masturbate, who has a fantasy about sleeping with his therapist who urinates in his mouth while a butch lesbian rubs a used tampon all over his face. I watched, dumbfounded, as B squirmed in obvious discomfort while N recited this poem, at times sounding like a mother telling a bedtime story to her child.

When the poem was complete, N asked if anyone had questions. One audience member asked "So what exactly just happened?" N's response was "I'm not sure I can answer that question. How do you feel?" "Like I fell asleep" came the reply. I don't recall a follow-up explanation. N encouraged us to buy her book, then asked whether we were all going out to dinner afterwards. And that was the workshop.

So: What went wrong?

Let's start with the basics. At no time do I recall the following questions being addressed by N at all: What is hypnosis? What is erotic hypnosis? How can erotic hypnosis improve my kink experience?

Second, without those questions having been answered, informed consent could not be given for a fun, sexy trance session.

Third, A and B do not appear to have been placed under hypnosis, or if they did, they came out of it quickly. This is likely due to a lack of trust in N, or in a discomfort with the situation which was not clearly explained to them.

Fourth, when it became clear that the subjects weren't entranced, N resorted to peer pressure and coercion to get A and B to perform, which the audience (made up primarily of Millennials) were not okay with. This is where I recall most of the audience becoming uncomfortable with the situation.

How do you solve this?

By starting the discussion not with personal anecdotes and bona fides, but with information about hypnosis. What is it? How does it work? What are its possibilities, and what are its limitations? What techniques are used? What safety precautions need to be taken both by subjects and by hypnotists?

By the presenter providing their own demo sub, someone who understands how hypnosis works and has at least some experience being in trance.

By recognizing when a subject isn't comfortable with the situation, validating that discomfort, and redirecting to an activity they might find more desirable.

By removing unnecessary information from the presentation, including the lengthy bio, the disquieting poem, and other distractions. When limited time is a factor, a focused presentation is vital.

I hope this narrative proves useful as a learning tool. I think it's important at this point to reiterate my support of TNG Portland, and my belief that they're blameless for circumstances surrounding this presentation. Indeed, they reacted very well to it, with two leaders speaking up when they felt consent was being violated, and several leaders checking in with both A and B. I look forward to the next event. I'm certain that their next presentation will be far more entertaining, educational, and consensual.