#there are more obv but these are like. the highlights of what I've read of marvel (which isn't that much tbf)

[waters-and-the-wilde]

okay i was thinking about. the way Juno and Nureyev think. like the way their minds complement each other is just so goddamn neat to me.

(I've touched on something like this before in my 'Nureyev's coping mechanisms backfiring when misapplied' post, the bit about 'Juno’s intelligence is geared toward gathering clues and then assembling narratives, getting good insight checks and putting together a bigger picture that Nureyev has trained himself out of being able to see. they’re both very good at reading people but Nureyev’s strength is being quick on his feet and handling people and situations in the moment while Juno is good at mapping people’s inner landscapes and motivations')

and now another thing that strikes me about Juno's whole detective brain thing is the way his knowledge and memory is incredibly interconnected and associative, the way little pieces crop up in his mind and he knows they're important but not necessarily why, and has to hang onto them until he can see how they fit. The way he basically lives for his 'I connected the dots!!!' moments. he doesn't seem to have the same command over recall the way Nureyev does -- Nureyev's being extremely deliberate and structured, whereas Juno's pattern recognition and responses to prompts and triggers look a lot more instinctive, even if it's just that the way he works has allowed that talent to flourish

And from there you have an equally fascinating contrast in how heavily Nureyev also relies on his knowledge and memory, and yet his method hinges on that ability to compartmentalize, and how the the pieces stay extremely discrete. it's like. Nureyev's constantly putting shit away in filing cabinets, and Juno's constantly leaving stuff around all the time because How Else Would He Know Where It Is, it'll be there when he needs it

and then that leads to fascinating stuff like Nureyev's knowledge being incredibly precise yet fragmented, very purposefully weighed and deployed in the scenario he knows how to apply it to. and how that catches him off the back foot so spectacularly in Man In Glass by relegating useful context as extraneous so thoroughly he literally dissociates it. In Juno's case, the way he can see how things relate to each other backfires on him when he gets carried away, jumps to conclusions without necessarily having the groundwork/evidence/ability to show his work and back it up

ALSO. jury's out on how much Nureyev has actually considered whether his 'focus on the guard not the queen' mentality was shooting himself in the foot before Man In Glass but. something something Train From Nowhere 'i trust your eyes, for a start. and I trust your mind! a master detective's' etc. I get the sense that he recognizes what Juno does as a strength and a complementary skill (at least initially/on an instinctive level/when he's at his best. obv there's still him getting stuck on his Rules of Thieving/forgetting to listen/getting condescending and dismissive under stress but i think that sorta highlights the whole point that they're at their best when they're confident in that trust in each other.)

(also given the CMP heist it's not exactly just Nureyev and I kinda have to wonder if maybe the Aurinkos have Juno's jumping to conclusions tendency work great sometimes and then backfire a bunch of others so they can't always let him have a full head of steam at a precarious moment. i know i've seen ppl get frustrated about that bit and like yes it is a frustrating device but it still strikes me as different from the way that sort of thing is usually deployed, in that it has plenty of plausible grounding in the characterization and communication styles)

like yes i'm a simple man i go bonkers for them being competent at their chosen skills but 'we work well together' is such a cornerstone of their relationship and the way their minds are so different and dovetail so effectively is just. the drift compatibility is built into their psyches and it's absolutely *chef's kiss*

[zeroducks-2]

So, you've inspired me to add some scenes that lean into the Eobard/Barry element that I accidentally wrote into my big long fic Chained, and I figured you might enjoy thinking about it (without having to wade through the whole dang fic lol I have no idea if you've read it/if it's of any interest to you, but I'm assuming you haven't/it's not)

The story revolves around a contract that grants genuine omnipotence. The catch is that it requires two people to sign it - the person who actually gains the power must be permanently bound into the service of their cosigner and the power is only gained through carrying out their commands.

Flash and Reverse Flash were highlighted as prominent figures battling it out over this thing, both being potential signers. Hundreds of iterations of them overlapping in time were ever present across the whole of the battlefield in arcs of light as they fought each other on a scale that no one else could hope to match. I was really only pulling names out of a hat back then (it was supposed to be a silly crack fic one-shot) but now that I've read a lot of your stuff about them, tricking/forcing Barry to sign the contract with him really strikes me as an Eobard thing to do!

Neither Barry nor Eobard signed it in the continuity the fic is going with, obvs, but there could be an off shoot branch where they did! And idk it feels like this premise might could really work to bring out their particular hangups with themselves and each other!

I'm super curious as to whether you think Eobard would try to be the one commanding an omnipotent Barry or if he'd want to chain Barry to him by becoming the power he needed to wield in order to save everything (- and maybe what circumstances might make Barry say yes to either one?)

-redhoodinternaldialectical from the "main" blog

Also pls have the words of the binding ritual for imagining Barry and Eobard saying them to each other purposes:

“I dedicate myself to submission. I shall bend my will to that of another. I relinquish my control so that I may be a vessel for the glorious ambitions of my Master. I shall be made unstoppable through obedience to my Master’s unslakeble will. I am the ultimate weapon. I am the ultimate tool. I am the hound which shapes the world to its Master’s whims. I mark myself with a collar made from liquid soul.” ... “Now I sit in waiting for the one who will be my Master.” “I seek to provide the glorious ambitions which will fill you and empower you. I seek to ascend beyond the fate decreed to be mine by forces more powerful than even the highest gods. Am I worthy of you, O’ ultimate weapon? Am I worthy of you, O’ ultimate tool? Will you accept me for now and all eternities beyond eternity, as your only Master?”

Hello hello, I had no idea you were redhoodinternaldialectical from the main blog and just followed you here because your blog is cool as fuck LMAO

I have not in fact read Chained, but from what I'm seeing here it seems interesting. I do ship Jaytim even if casually, I'll gladly go give it a look :)

I can see Eobard trying to manipulate Barry into signing the thing and belong to him forever. Eobard wants Barry to want it. He is canonically faster, stronger, with more powers up his sleeve than any other speedster - he could force Barry to do whatever if he tried hard enough, but he doesn't because ultimately he wants Barry to understand and be willing. That being said he's not immune to using very low tricks to get Barry to say yes to things, and if he managed he'd surely be overjoyed and would also go on a power trip about it because finally Flash belongs to him indissolubly, there's nothing which can come between them for the rest of eternity, he's his and only his forever - but.

But if Barry asked Eobard to sign, and to belong to him? "Be omnipotent and be mine, forever" ? Eobard would drop to his knees, cry and say yes. He might regret it afterwards, he might have a hard time coping with the loss of freedom because freedom is so very important to him. But if Barry asked it would feel like trust, like love, like he's wanted. It would feel like Barry - which could have chosen to spend eternity with anyone else - chose him.

I also think that in the face of an incredibly powerful enemy which will destroy/subjugate the multiverse, and with no other option, Barry would give himself to Eobard. He would need a clause to the contract which specifies that he won't be forced to hurt any of the people he loves or something along those lines, and then he would "sacrifice himself" with his head held high. He did it already after all! He killed himself to prevent the Anti-Monitor from using him to power his weapons, and effectively saved everyone, and stayed dead for a whopping 23 years (until Eobard brought him back that is). And that one time Eobard said "run away with me" and Barry said "yes if you leave my family alone"? That's also pretty indicative of how self-sacrificing Barry is. Or maybe indicative of how he wouldn't be so opposed to running away with Eobard after all, but don't tell them I said that.

Honestly all the options would be super interesting. I think ultimately they would fall into the right rhythm regardless of which one is the "bound" one, even if it would surely take some trial and error. It's really fascinating to think about, thank you SO MUCH for sharing this with me! I will rotate it in my head for a while and let you know if anything else comes to mind!

[keii-starz]

answer any or all I wanna know more about you 👁️👁️

Do you have freckles? 

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? 

What was the last song you listened to? 

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? 

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? 

Do you prefer drawing or writing? 

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? 

What’s your favorite band/artist? 

When is your birthday? 

How tall are you? 

What color are your eyes? 

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? 

Fears? 

What’s your favorite color? 

What’s your favorite season? 

Want any tattoos? What of? 

Want any piercings? Where? 

Who is the last person you texted? 

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? 

What/who do you miss? 

How was your day today? 

How much sleep did you get last night? 

Do you believe in aliens? 

When was the last time you cried? Why? 

What’s your favorite decade? 

What are some seemingly childish things you like? 

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? 

How are you, really? 

Does it take you a long time to make decisions? 

What are you looking forward to in the near future? 

What are you looking forward to in the distant future? 

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? 

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? 

What’s your favorite flower? 

Do you currently have a squish? 

Do you like your middle name? 

Do you prefer dogs or cats? 

Do you have any phobias? 

Do you stay up late?

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? 

What’s your favorite cartoon? 

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

Do you have siblings? How many? 

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? 

Is there anyone you would die for? 

What do you need when you’re sad? 

Have you memorized your phone number? 

Who’s someone you can trust with your life? 

What does your last text say? 

Wild Card. Any question, ask away. 

1. I wish (no) 😔

2. I drink both!!! but I don't drink coffee that often, and when I do, it's only if it has milk and sugar in it! when I drink tea, I usually drink milk tea, or I add milk to my matcha tea, but sometimes I just drink regular tea!

3. DAYDREAM by HIGHLIGHT!!!

4. I sleep on my back, but I actually prefer sleeping on my side!! I just dont sleep on my side most of the time because I sleep with headphones on, and its kinda uncomfortable sleeping on my side with headphones on

5. yes!! my little teddy bear that I got from my bestie!!! I named him lucy

6. hmm I love both a lot, but I'd say drawing!

7. ummm it doesn't really matter for me but I'll say teo because of my blanket I've had since childhood (its too small to cover me now so ofc I have to use another blanket)

8. hmm for band, it'd be LUCY!!! (K-band) I think the violin in their music makes their songs sound even nicer! but my fav part is obv sangyeop's soft voice :3

but for artists in general...hmm there's quite a few, so I'll name them by language! 1. CRAVITY (korean boy group), ZICO (korean soloist, k-hiphop), COLDE (korean soloist, k-r&b), 2. yoh kamiyama (japanese), TUYU (japanese band), 3. jeremy zucker, suggi (english)

9. february 11!

14. sage green!!

15. autumn! not too cold or hot, and not as much bugs!

19. I do! we've been friends since 4th grade!

21. it was great!!! I had so much fun and got to eat a lot of good food!!

24. sometime last week, I think tuesday..I think it had smth to do with my insecurities or like. how I keep getting the feeling I'm not wanted

28. my mental and physical states both suck a ton, but since I've returned home for spring break, im trying to convince myself to not worry about anything and just think of this as a lil vacation just until this is over

31. im definitely looking forward to moving out of my mom's house or just not staying with my family in general...I want to get an apartment where I feel relaxed at when I turn into an adult

32. if I could go anywhere right now...I would probably go to my aunt's house in florida..tbh, I wouldn't say her cooking's (sorry auntie 😔) the best, but I'd probably feel way...calmer? there and less likely to cry so often

34. my favorite flower is the star of bethlehem!!! it's really really pretty!!! im pretty sure it's a poisonous flower tho lol

39. all the time 😊

42. I prefer cloudy days! sunny days are nice, but I don't like getting the sun in my eyes very much, plus the sky is prettier with clouds :3

44. 5 of my fav blogs: @azulashengrottospiano @dove-da-birb @twistwonderlanddevotee @alexisomnias @l7k-a

45. I have 2 siblings! an older brother and younger sister, who is the youngest, but if I didn't tell u this and you met us both irl, you'd probably think shes the older one based on height and personality lol

47. I would die for any of my friends in a heartbeat

48. music!!! I CANNOT go without my music I tell u!!!

49. nope!!! you see, my phone doesn't tell me my phone number, so I always have to ask other people what it is 😐 (my other phone did tho)

50. uhhh hmmm this one is really hard bcuz I don't think I know anyone irl who I can trust with my life but probably...no one..?

[roobylavender]

second tag meme and also from @ravenkinnie: book recs!

no time to spare / ursula le guin / i've been slowly trying to make my way through her essay collections and this is one i really love so far. i also read words are my matter but that one had some of her more questionable political stances so i enjoyed this one bc it was focused on more generic and personal topics

good intentions / kasim ali / i would honestly highly recommend this to south asians specifically bc i don't think i've seen any other book that holds south asian millennials accountable for their tendency to damn their parents to inflexibility from the outset and then fail to hold themselves accountable for never challenging traditional mindsets. this book specifically deals with anti-blackness within the south asian community and i think it does a fantastic job of it (please wait until the end bc it does end as it deserves to end but for a moment you will get worried towards the middle that it won't go that way lol. trust me)

the king of attolia / megan whalen turner / obv i would rec the queen's thief series in general but this is by and large my favorite of the whole series (well. bar the sixth book which closely ties with it) and much as i am sure everyone loved this series the most when it was from eugenides's perspective i cannot help but think that i never love eugenides more than when i read about him through the perspective of those who love him dearly

each little bird that sings / deborah wiles / this was a pretty formative book in my childhood esp wrt the concept of how children process death. it's actually part of a quartet of companion novels, each of which i love dearly and one of which is actually the inspiration for my current username, but i think this one is executed the best and it also happens to be the most well known installment, definitely for good reason

supreme inequality / adam cohen / i feel like if you're not necessarily into studying the law but want to gain a better, in-depth understanding of why we are where we are right now with american law this is a good book to read. it corrects a lot of misconceptions around the idea that the supreme court was ever consistently progressive (ie severe brevity and breakdown of the social welfare oriented burger era) and discusses the evolution of judicial interpretation of major topics over the course of the last several decades

the f team / rawah arja / this came as a rec in a melina marchetta newsletter and i'm so glad it did! it's a really fun and messy look into life as a lebanese-australian boy and what i think it does well is not shy away from culturally ingrained flaws, rather seek to dissect and understand them and highlight how crucial an emotionally mature and communication-dependent upbringing is for young muslim/arab boys. there are a few jokes here and there that caught the side eye from me bc they felt severely lacking in self-awareness but other than that i really enjoyed it

the piper's son / melina marchetta / my favorite marchetta novel forever and always, and the second installment in the inner west trilogy of companion novels, following saving francesca. what i really adore about this one is the interplay of grief between so many people and this guilt you have to overcome over the impact of the death of a loved one on your life. bc sometimes it utterly tears you apart and other times it brings you together and the emotions of that are so horribly complicated. i also simply adore the continued exploration of the main friend group and how as harsh as the girls are on tom they are so protective and dedicated, too, bc that's how they all are with each other. it's a book that constantly makes me ache

beloved / toni morrison / interestingly i find this book to be highly relevant considering the recent abortion fiasco in the american legal scene and its relation to abusive domestic situations but it's also one of the books i loved reading the most in undergrad particularly bc of its brutal exploration into how oppressed peoples are driven to self-inflicted violence as a last resort. can you blame a woman for killing her child when the only other option was damning that child to a life of slavery? it's a situation that has to be analyzed with so much empathy and compassion and that's exactly what morrison affords it

the secret garden / frances hodgson burnett / one of two other books i loved reading the most in undergrad (with the third one being north and south). i read this for a british literature class that i took at a time i was severely starting to doubt my degree again after having already gone through a really rough depressive period following jonghyun's death so it really opportunely entered my life. i remember reading the magic monologue towards the end and just crying and crying bc it felt so liberating and while the rest of my undergrad journey was not necessarily a total high i do think this helped comfort me a lot

tagging: @briarhips, @lateafternoonsunlight, @senorscotty, @dankovskaya & @infatuate !

[thegongoozlerreacts]

Welcome Home Website (Part 1)

ITS OUUTTTTT IM SO HYPED IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS

IM SO EXCITED TIME TO EXPLORE AND LOOK AT IT

spoilers(??) under the cut !!

OK SO first off im just on the first page and already the little animation of someone (Wally?) drawing Home is new

A LOT OF NEW THINGS SO EXCITING !!! love the little Wally sitting on the website updates !!

as you can see, i've highlighted that little section underneath the artwork of Wally sitting on a rock

and thats because i noticed that the text is blocked after 'about the' and wanted to highlight it and copy paste it to get the text behind the gif (bc im p sure its the gif of the spinning home thats blocking it)

"learn about the vibrant world around them and take part in nonsensical fun!"

i have no idea if that was on purpose or if thats what it said originally (its been a while since ive seen the website ok?) but thats interesting OH I KNOW HOW TO CHECK

ok so i went to Night Mind's video on Welcome Home because it was about an old version of the site, and yep nothing about that has changed besides the fact that 'vibrant world' is now covered

is this important or could it just be a glitch? no idea but i'll let it go for now

onto the more obvious new changes

alright so i read through the website update, and the 'y' on 'You' in the first sentence of the second paragraph is capitalized AND in a different font last time we had to look out for letters that were out of place, so im taking note of this

though it may just to highlight 'you' as in us, the viewers/audience/people interacting with the site

also!! a little ladybug thing is coming from behind that counter (which i assume is counting how many people have visited the site) and its cute! and new and i wonder if its important to anything?

is it just me or is the background different (i dont think it is but it feels more saturated to me (maybe its just been a while since ive seen the site tho LOL))

the telephone is interesting too but i think we'll find out more of it in the exhibition page

i'll be going through the different pages from left to right

OK SO I WAS JUST READING THRU THE 'Welcome Home!' PAGE TO SEE IF ANYTHING CHANGED AND I SAW ANOTHER LIL BUG

AND I OPENED THE IMAGE CUZ I WANTED TO SEE THE FULL GIF LIKE THE LADYBUG

BUT IT BROUGHT ME TO THIS INSTEAD ????

well now im afraid

i will save that for later i will finish looking through the rest of this page um

so. the W on 'Wally' is still messed up as you can see but not sure if thats still relevant since that was a clue for last time yk

so the restored art pieces are the same, nothing's changed

this is new though

i can click on the tulips and after the bug im a little afraid

by clicking on the yellow tulip

by clicking on the blue and red tulips

audio !! neat

the names of the tabs are interesting, i wonder if u put them in a certain order it will make a sentence? like 'will you help me' or something?? will have to find more secrets i guess

ok so now i will watch 'answer' (im afraid)

ITS FRANK AND BARNABY FIGHTING IM SO ENTERTAINED AND THIS IS SO FUNNY

also !! omg they have voices now thats so cool !!

i have no idea what it is im looking at, but it must be somewhere in Frank's garden right?

OK SO I COUNTED THE FIGURES IN THE VIDEO AND THERES 8 OF THEM AND THERE'S 8 NEIGHBORS AND I FEEL LIKE THATS IMPORRTANT not sure what it means but !! still

now the end of the video has my interests peaked, because when Frank asks (who i assume is) us and the audio just glitches out? first a deep voice replies to Frank but i cant make out what its saying

also then the glitch at the end, i think its supposed to loop with the glitch at the beginning

like it sounds connected

oh also some amendment to the figures there's actually 9 of them one is just at the edge of the camera and u cant see it

ok next for the audios

so 'Help' is Wally, which is interesting

nothing too helpful(aha) but just him realizing that we can hear him i guess? 'What are you waiting for?' the answers obv/j

Wally's laugh is so cute

'will' huh he talks about eyes, he said thats what an eye looks like, his are black and asks what color is mine/ours

it might just be me but the middle of the record kinda looks like an eye? or maybe im just crazy LOL

ok now onto 'The Neighborhood' page

so first off, i can click the gif of Home surrounded by flowers at the top

oh wait it just brings u back to the first/home page LMAOAOAOOA

another bug

clicked it and another video called 'answer' and its probably another video in Frank's garden

OOOOH AUDIO

SHE HAS A VOICE AND ITS SO CUTE AND IT FITS SO WELL I LOVE HER

also interesting thing to note! the colored part of the records are different for each character, Julie's is pink and Sally's orange

i point this out because there were records for the 'Help' and 'will' audio, they were broken but the color was red

and red is associated with Wally (and Home too) so yeah thats all

anyways Sally's voice fits her so well too!! i love it, actually kinda reminds me of a character from Star Darlings LOL

Poppy's voice is cute! has old lady vibes

another bug, surprisingly on Eddie's character page, which is interesting

LOVE HIS VOICE IT FITS SO WELL TOO 'When it comes to friendship, I always deliver!' ur so cute Eddie

HELP ME HOWDY'S VOICE????? IT FITS SO WELL TOO????? so old-timey announcer voice

ofc Barnaby's voice sample is him making a joke. ofc it is. also his voice reminds me a LOT of Sans from Undertale so

actually now that i think abt it Frank's voice reminds me of Papyrus from Undertale,, n the fight they had has similar vibes to Sans and Papyrus,,, well anyways

tbh in my head he always had more of a Squidward voice, like more nasally(?) but his voice fits really well too!

everyone already knows what Wally sounds like, but wow hearing it in a not-creepy environment is always cool

anyways. the flower is a gif and i can click on it so more creepy stuff now

hm called 'will' again which is interesting but the W is capitalized

the so below page is the same so time to check out the new stuff!

starting with the bug from the bottom of The Neighborhood page

so i was wrong its actually Frank and Poppy baking which is cute! love their friendship BUT Frank's voice got glitched out at the end when Frank said 'Wally' which makes me wanna re-listen to the first one

OH MY GOD OK SO THE VOICE WASNT A REPLY, IT WAS FRANK'S VOICE GLITCHING OUT ON 'WALLY' OMG

so all these videos are from Wally's perspective???

yep so the bug from Eddie's page leads to a video of Frank and Eddie talking about a bug that's in the post office!! made me especially giddy because i ship Frank x Eddie LOL

they are so cute!! so cute !!!!!

also, i've only seen 3 but it's interesting how all these videos are of Frank interacting with the other neighbors, then the video ending with his voice glitching out on 'Wally'

i think that there's more bugs and videos for the rest of the neighbors, but i'll go looking for them later! im gonna eat now and i wanna take a break to absorb all this stuff

OH I JUST REALIZED WHY THE VIDEOS ARE CALLED 'ANSWER' BC THEY END W FRANK ASKING WALLY A QUESTION, SO THIS IS HIS ANSWER?? OR SOMETHING ?? IT LEADS INTO AN ANSWER???

i have no idea but i'll ponder on it more later bye bye!

[luxuriousmalfoy]

This or That

I was tagged by @felixantares TYSM FELIX FOR TAGGING ME!!!!!!!!!! It's been a million years and i'm awful for waiting this long lmao

Hardcover or Paperback? Paperback!!!! My hands cramp so quickly from hardcovers so the ones i have are either bc it was the only copy i could find at the used bookstore or just a copy i don't physically read from bc i also own the audiobook. (I'm looking at you, The Anthropocene Reviewed)

Bookstore or Library? EASILY the library, it's free and stimulates the community hello. I like Libby bc i can check out audiobooks and ebooks from my local library!!!!

Bookmark or Receipt? i have a bunch of cute bookmarks so sure i use those but like Felix i am a dog earer! idk it's just always an available option lmao

Standalone or Series? it's definitely less pressure to pick up a standalone bc i don't have to worry about feeling overwhelmed, but sometimes there will come a long series (cough, 39 clues) that i just get so obsessed with and have to binge read. AGAIN like Felix most of my favorites are in series!! BUT standalones are low presh

Nonfiction or Fiction? Fiction! I like the occasional memoir or essay collection or like history book or something, but GENERALLY i prefer to go for Fiction titles

Thriller or Fantasy? honestly thriller!! though i will clarify--i'm not that interested in adult thrillers for the most part. not to be reductive but the divorcee thrillers really bore me. i love a good YA thriller though, from slashers to murder mysteries i just love them!! some of my favorites are (ironically i'm about to list some series') A Good Girl's Guide to Murder, The Amateurs, and One of Us is Lying.

Under 300 Pages or Over? Also over! I do like a short read but between 300 and 400 pages is like the audiobook sweet spot for me honestly

Children’s or YA? YA/Middle Grade for sure!! My favorite book is Holes which is a children's book technically but yeah i freaking love some good YA Middle Grade books

Friends to Lovers or Enemies to Lovers? It depends on the genre for me honestly, but sometimes i think Friends to Lovers has higher stakes and as it stands that's what i would go for, though that could change at any given moment tbh

Read in Bed or Read on the Couch? I do most of my reading in the car technically bc i listen to audiobooks while i drive a lot lmao

Read at Night or Read in the Morning? Day time! It's too scary to read thrillers in the dark LOL

Keep Pristine or Markup? I am such a markup bitch i love to highlight and write notes in the margins fr!!!!!!! I annotate Holes at least once a year

Cracked Spine or Dogear? Majorly controversh but BOTH. I dogear all the time and i am a compulsive spine cracker. It's just too satisfying. But also I'll say i have not spent my whole life as a book person, so idek if i have more than like 2 books that i've had for more than like 3 years anyways

OKAY i'm tagging @vitaminpops @silently--here and @iammyownsaviour, if you've already done this obv ignore

[youredreamingofroo]

📩 Simblr question of the day: It's time to appreciate the small things! What's a small detail from one of your posts that you love? Could be a small tattoo on a sim, specific clutter in a sims' room, a little detail in a render or screenshot, whatever is applicable to you (p.s. I've been scouring simblr, and I've noticed people don't like how picky SQOTD feels, so please! Share around SQOTD asks, anon or not, I'm only one person and can't find and ask every person on simblr ~ 💛)

Thank you to SQOTD Anon and other Anon for the asks!! (I'm presuming we're gonna start seeing dupe asks with this getting passed around now LMAO)

I RELIGIOUSLY put small details in my renders and stuff, so take a shot (or sip of juice) for every small detail i point out /j LMAOO

- -

starting off with my most recent post, whether u wanna call these small or not, im still gonna point them out - the next panel after "I'll see you in a weeks time" you can see the text box is still there, which is just a play on perspective, you can also see the lyrics from the Beabadoobee song in frame on the ticket close-up shot AND finally (for this post), a more subtle detail, is the fact that the box with the "-$158" casts a shadow! I gave a before and after, thats how subtle it is and how subtle i wanted it to be :)

That's the one I wanted to share the most, but if you want to see and read about more details (small or just overlooked/overlookable), I'm adding a couple more under the cut :)

- -

- -

Lighting isn't so much a small detail, but a detail that I think is important and am sharing a couple (not all) moments where I used colored lighting to create contrast or just to outline characters or where I just felt it was important to use specifically-colored lighting:

Just gonna speedrun explain these: Leo's colors are red/red-ish pink and green is the opposite of pink, which I used in that specific render, so it was a nice contrast Hero's colors are a range from Red - Orange - Yellow-ish Green - Green Vanella's (A sim I havent talked about before!) color is Blue and I used blue both as lighting for the walkie talkie and to make her stand out from the background Leo and Roo's colors are [respectively] Pink/Red-ish pink and Purple, I like to, especially in these kinds of renders with no background, use these colors to highlight them and their favorite/representing color Same as the last, I used yellow and purple/pink to contrast the two, with blue as a sort of undertone(?)

Also if you look at the W.A.S Teasers, Green, Yellow and Blue are meant to highlight the different characters and sort of set them apart from each other

- -

in this post/render-set, I wanted to show (whether u see it as a big or small detail again idk, i see it as small/medium) just how exhausted Harvey/Younger Roo was and how sorry Roo was/felt, hence the slumped over body and Roo tightly hugging him

- -

you wont see this for a bit (until i muster up the energy for a flashback Hiraeth render), but Leo DOES wear this sweater again after Roo said he loved it :)

- -

I will never get enough of this panel, i always eat it up everytime I see it... but anyways LMAO The small detail here is just the hair strands... I feel like I did SO well on not making them look exactly perfect but not exactly like... fake hair, kind of representing the "I cut my hair myself" look- also the fact that I managed to perfectly remove his glasses (via model editing in blender)... *chef's kiss*

- -

shoutout to you if you remember the first nirvana post... anyways, Obv the text isn't small but it's just the fact that you can interpret these two frames in two different ways (that I know of): One is that it's saying DONT. (as in dont grab her hand) and then she does her hypnotizing shabang and it says "DO IT" a bunch (like yk,, do it, grab her hand-) The other, is that it says "DONT. DO IT." (basically just saying DONT DO IT, with a period/comma however u see it) Not necessarily a render detail, but something i realized a while ago while looking at this

- -

And thats it! Thank you again for these asks!!! I love putting in small details or just details that might get overlooked SOOOO much :)

[faeriegoth]

As someone who is recently obsessed with hand-poked tattoos and doesnt use tiktok, THANK YOU for uploading that video of you practicing! There is like... not a lot of info on how to get started hand-poking the safe and sterile way online.

I had no idea what 'multiple passes' meant (and see people railing against it all the time) and couldnt figure out a way to hold the needle 😳 Wrapping it in tape is so smart and way safer than the other methods I've seen! A LOT of 'pros' are out there taping them to popsicle sticks or chopsticks... and re-using needles 😵 my tat artist wraps her tattoo machine in the same kind of tape, I don't know why I didn't think of it.

I am terrified of 'starting out' on my own skin so I've been trying to do as much research as possible on practicing the same way you would with a machine. Im going to buy the same supplies my tattoo artist has, but with a ton of fake skin, and practice on those for as long as I need to perfect the techniques and develop my style eventually.

Anyway I wish you luck on your hand-poke journey!! Your first stuff looks great already. Your vid encouraged & inspired me. I'll follow you on ig soon

thank you for this message it's v sweet :) i'm glad it helped and inspired you! if i'm honest i've had a lot going on in my personal life, mental health hasn't been great + also don't have stable housing rn so i haven't practiced in a little while, so this was a really nice message to read i appreciate it. hopefully i'll have the space to get back into it soon.

the guide i was following did suggest wrapping a popsicle stick to the needle (you see me use it to scoop the vaseline in the vid) but i found it didn't work for the way i hold the needle to poke. my tattoo artist used a popsicle stick when they did my arm tattoo, but i use tape. either way is fine just whatever works for u! i think the stick can help keep it steady and consistent, but it just doesn't feel right for the way i hold pencils etc when making art so i go with tape instead. re-using needles is obv a big no-no though, also if you're working on skin, whatever surface you're working on in the space should be sanitised and covered with cling film/saran wrap to make it as hygienic as possible - i just didnt do that with the fake skin bc i wasn't working with real skin. i'm not sure if they post internationally but i got my handpoke kit from here and they include a link to an informative guide by the seller who tattoos for a living. def recommend it if you're looking for some more insight and information

if you do follow my instagram i have a few videos of me practicing handpoke pinned as a highlight on my profile :) they're not as in-depth as the one i posted here, more like a little digital record so i can see how i improve as time goes on.

good luck on your handpoke journey! i'm by no means an expert but if you ever have any more questions about it i'll do my best to answer them

[mifhortunach]

2023 'overview'

The standard end of year post of course!

This year has both breezed by and felt absolutely endless, personally at least, and i feel like i accomplished nothing(!), but still, here's a round up of some stuff i enjoyed!?

MOVIES: as ever as always! I'm writing this a bit in advance, but i've deffo seen less movies this year than i did last year, tho i believe that i did manage to get out to the cinema way more than usual (tho, tbh, most often on my lonesome i think). I think i've felt the most divided on them this year; i liked a lot of stuff very VERY much! i also have felt so SO bored with a lot more things. i think i talked about having like. a matrix moment last year, nothing like that this year, tho a lot more of being like, 'well yeah, of course', or finally being able to recognise what a shot is, lol. Regardless, here are the movies i probably loved the most this year:

aftersun: all i talked about jan thru feb, need to watch it again. it looks great, its both fun & heartbreaking, and you KNOW i love the found footage side of it all - especially when it addresses that even when you have footage of 'objective reality' you just really cant know it all operation avalanche: as w aftersun, this shit gets at like ALL my interests! OpAv isn't a perfect movie, and i think the more u know about the production/etc the more obvious that becomes [i genuinely WOULD love to see/know more about the version that really did have the mole/romance plotline integrated, but lbr, that doesnt really exist]. ANYWAY!! i do think this is such an exciting film to watch, especially the movie making sequences, and i think the feeling of it all comes across so truly iygm. also, obvs, bc i love conspiracies unfortch the dirties: im sorry there's so much MJ on this list, short tho it is! but hey, these really took over my life for a month there lol. i still havent listened to the commentary w the real film critic, but i truly find this to be an airtight movie, the found footage stuff is so well integrated, justifying everything while also calling all intent/'reality' into question.. i do think someone could spend forever with it - its also funny & miserable! what more could u want (watch my fancam please) my house walkthrough: i genuinely just really like this!! ive said it before, but i genuinely just find it such an exciting watch, the bts just makes it so much cooler - what's sicker than repetition Hon Noms: la confidential: heat walked so this could run ! thirst: so much fun, i love vampire lovers who hate each other beau is afraid: too long, but i really liked most of this, v funny black tower: great example of doing smth so cool w very little

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

books:

francis spufford, new sun series, chandler, mauretania

PODCASTS:

sfultra!!!: sean L@TDF finally returns to talk about sci-fi books! sean is one of the few critics i'll always keep up with even when i dont agree w him, & this show has been a real treat all this year - the patreon stuff is great as well - its introduced me to a lot of new stuff & crit, and its been good to hear from him again. if u listen to any of these, listen to this shelved by genre: really good, tho often we have different interests - got me to read a fair few more books this year! im not a games guy, and im mad behind on fatt, so its super nice to get to hear some austin biweekly anyway, lol. twioat (as ever): i was a bit trepidatious about this season starting off, but it's been so much fun, the fellas really knocked it out of the park. i loved hearing from some guests that we havent heard from in ages. this season on AJLT was also fuckin amazing, truly & really adored their coverage; possibly highlight of my summer?? toxic podcast: i almost certainly shouted this out last year, but it was nice to have this around again in the top half of the year!! ale has a letterboxd now & its fun to get to see just how many truly atrocious horror movies he does watch all the time. a true connoisseur

------------------------

pick’n’mix:

ntbts: its a such good show!! i've watched more tv than usual this year, but i love how this is done on almost every level. i apologised before for having so much MJ on this list & i stand by that!, but i do think that one of the best (practical) traits in his work is making difficult stuff look not only easy, but genuinely both fun & achievable. whens the movie going to drop??? (lol) getting into shirts: this genuinely was more of an accidental year long thing, starting w the ones i printed for lizzie back in jan/feb, but its been fun! finally got back some screenprinting experience, and i think u can really see some amping up of ambition & basic skill/practice. i do wanna do more in the new year, but am trying to engage with actual intended outcomes (and lbr, the storage issue lol), so we'll see

the sopranos!!: sometimes they really were right about good tv being good, who knew! so much funnier, weirder & depressing than i wouldve expected- honestly undersung at this point. also, it introduced me to a tonne of music lol

the blackberry soundtrack: unfortch i continue to be kinda mixed on the film, as much as i think on a technical level it's so super cool & well-made. i do really like the soundtrack tho!! i'm kinda iffy on some of its application in the actual film, but im a hater, so what can u do lol. the actual thing DOES rip tho

==========

this whole thing makes it look like i got a lot more done this year than i feel like i did lol. i feel like i had plans up the top but they really all came out in the wash//

i read an okay amount of books, but failed to get thru any piles

i watched more tv than usual this year, and saw id say, a midtier amount of movies, but way more new movies than usual

i moved for a bit! then moved back & got a worse job lol

there was a lot of work i didnt get finished.. i have stuff ive been meaning to edition since this time last year that i still havent gone back to.. that said, i think i did get some stuff done, finally actually did some stone litho(!!!!) & had some stuff up in a show or two

who knows,,, maybe ill finally get my shit together & 2024 could be my year - people say good things about being 26 right??? 😭😭😭

[kae-karo]

fic writer tag game

saw someone on the for you tab do this (x) as a tag game but obvs i do not know them and did not get tagged and thus i thiefed it 😌

How many works do you have on AO3? 258!!!!

What is your AO3 word count? 3,097,981

What fandoms do you write for? currently 99% blue lock, although i have a wip in genshin and one in bnha that i would some day like to finish lmao

What are your top five fics by kudos? in order they are chosen (x), to love (and be loved in return) (x), little bird (x), feet don't touch the ground (x), and cold devotion (x) wow genshin rly repping out here lmaooo

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? yes basically always!!!! i really appreciate that someone took the time to tell me they liked my story and it feels like the least i can do to tell them that!

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? hmm it is rare indeed that i write fics with unhappy endings but i did it twice for bnha so it's probably a tie between freeing icarus (x) and to the stars that burn (x)

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? this is a strange question for me to try to answer just cause like. idk i would say a solid 90% of my fics have overtly happy endings? if we're talking happiest compared to the initial vibe, i would say pink light (x) does a good job of starting off angstier and trending quickly toward a very happy ending, but that's just off the top of my head due to recency lmao

Do you get hate on fics? i have gotten hate on fics lmao i've had a handful of hate comments regarding kaeluc, one about how 'disgusting' a certain t/b dynamic was, one about a character's storyline, a few about my portrayal of a canon dynamic, and one complaining about the ship the fic was about and how it's so lame that anyone's still reading it

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? yes i absolutely do sldkjfkldsf all kinds really? pretty vanilla for the most part although i've dipped my toe into a kink or two here and there

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? nah not really my jam tbh? too much to keep in my head at one time lmaoooo

Have you ever had a fic stolen? not to my knowledge 😬

Have you ever had a fic translated? yes!!!! lots of lovely people have translated my fics

Have you ever cowritten a fic before? one time lmao with my wife back in the day, although we never really 'finished' it (it was sort of a one-shot ongoing thing so each bit was self-contained but we didn't write more than a few of them)

What's your all-time favourite ship? i refuse to pick one skdjflkdsjf not so much in a 'i could never choose!' kind of way but more bc like. my tastes have changed and will continue to change so anything i say is just gonna be my current opinion. which would be ryusae.

What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever will? ohhhhh this is a painful question lmaoooo what can i allow myself to let go of. i have a wip that's followed me across fandoms that i think i've accepted i won't ever finish. i am still deeply trying to keep my interest alive in my two other longfic wips to prevent their untimely demises lmao

What are your writing strengths? immersion!!! coincidentally it's also one of my fave compliments, that i was able to make something very immersive/that people couldn't put it down/etc. i think i do a good job of highlighting the pov character's thoughts, feelings, observations, etc in ways that help tie readers to the character and experience what they're experiencing

What are your writing weaknesses? banter/comedy !!!! this is really a comparative one imo cause i know i've done banter and comedy well but i've also seen it done better and i think it's an area i don't particularly excel in apart from once in a blue moon. which is fine by me!

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? i've done it on occasion! i think it can be fun and interesting especially when relevant to the story or for a good bit

First fandom you wrote for? dan and phil

Favourite fic you've ever written? me, staring forlornly at the 258 fics i've written like ummmmmmm. i am supposed to PICK? ldskfjklsdf is it cheating if i pick a fic i haven't published yet? cause i have one i started almost 2mo ago and i've literally reread it probably a solid dozen times minimum since i finished it (it's for an event otherwise i def would've posted it sooner lmao) but honestly i put my heart into so many of my fics in ways that are so meaningful at the time of my writing that it's hard to say that one fic holds the whole thing when they really all hold different pieces

technically this is a tag game so if u see it and wanna do it, please consider this me tagging u (and tag me so i can see ur answers!!!)

[therhythmafterthesummer]

hey sorry but could you explain the werewolf terms? Sorry if you've done it before but if not could you tell us or maybe provide some links to understand better? Because I have a general idea but sometimes I get confused with some words, I know more or less what an omega is for example but I don't really know everything it entails you know? obvs the wereroomies series are the first werewolf series I've read and I love it so much so far you're a really good writer !

oooooh okay, this one is quite interesting ! and no, i haven't done this before.

i won't do a full break down right now, but i will leave some stuff under the cut that hopefully can help !

to start of, it's important to highlight that omegaverse (also called a/b/o-- essentially, werewolf AUs) can vary from story to story. meaning, there are certain concepts and themes that do repeat and appear in every story, but each author does whatever they want with their own omegaverse.

with that being said, it's possible that the way i describe something within WereRoomies doesn't match other people's omegaverse completely, since it's a very "personal" thing, let's say. it's widely known that as long as you keep certain aspects the same, then you can do whatever.

when i started writing WereRoomies, i also started writing a guide for its omegaverse. but i got lazy and didn't finish it sdjfhskjdf. so, i guess my question to you (and to anyone else that might read this) is: would you like me to break down the WereRoomies omegaverse bit by bit just for full clarity??

in the meantime, i found these resources that might be helpful for someone that isn't well versed in the topic of werewolf AUs:

this post by @/sortingabosincebirth has some basic concepts

then there's @/jar-of-omegaverse's full masterlist with very interesting topics as well !

again, these might not 100% reflect the way i personally write werewolf AUs, but they can give some perspective (:

[zablife]

@mischievouslittlecreature Lily, I'm jumping in at this chapter with comments bc I've missed your writing!

At first I was worried I might have too many questions on backstory to keep pace, but that concern faded instantly as your prose easily drew me into the narrative. I have to tell you that you're style is so immersive, I felt as tho I was watching a film instead of reading a story. I'm in total awe of your ability to capture such nuance in emotion. That quality is esp helpful here as I navigate the relationship with Lucy and Tommy.

From the beginning, I was as nervous as Lucy wondering if Tommy was shifting his affection to Lizzie. I could feel the ache of rejection profoundly as Lucy settles into her new room. The gesture stung, leaving me saddened by what amounts to her banishment within the household. It spoke volumes about Lizzie's feelings about Lucy, which only intensify throughout the chapter.

Lucy is so easy to love and empathize with thru it all. The fact that she tenderly cares for Lizzie's baby in her absence tells me everything I need to know about her character. I was teary eyed thinking of her rocking the wailing babe, wondering if she disliked her too 😢

The phone call between Tommy and Lucy was my fave part of the chapter. Watching him reach out to her that way, admitting he wasn't sleeping restored my faith in his love for her. But how sad that he's on his honeymoon and wishes for her instead, to soothe him like no one else can! (Girl, you are talented at bringing the angst!)

I should have known his return to Lucy would be marred by disruptions and missed connections, but this was almost too much to bear. Lucy has the patience of a saint as she agrees to leave them to their family picnic. It's obvs in this scene that she cares for Tommy (and Charlie) more than herself, putting their needs above her own no matter the cost to her emotions. I don't think I'd have that kind of maturity or strength in a similar situation!

Tommy's response to Lizzie about her using Charlie is spot on! She's grasping for the life she wants, but will never have. The tour of the nursery should have conveyed that to her. Tommy was genuinely upset Lucy had been displaced.

On the edge of my seat waiting to see how Lucy and Lizzie will coexist within Arrow House 😬

Btw I apologize I haven't mentioned Trouble and Asher sooner, but I was soothed by their presence, knowing they're by Lucy's side as faithful companions. Trouble giving Tommy the side eye when he returns was such a highlight!!

Part 22: This Misery We've Made

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x OC

Summary: Lucy awaits Tommy's return from his and Lizzie's honeymoon.

Word Count: 6,162

Notes: Warnings for depictions of insecurity, jealousy, depression, and sexual content.

Previous Chapter • Series • Fic • Next Chapter

Chapter 4: Are You Still Mine

Upon her return to Arrow House on the night of the wedding, Lucy found that Lizzie did not have her things moved to a room down the hall, or even kept her in the same wing, as she had expected. No; she instead had ordered her moved to the entire opposite side of the house. The room was dark, the recipient of very little sunlight thanks to the way that its window was facing. And Lucy was pretty sure it had drafts.

Frances had asked her if she would like to change rooms, but she declined. She hated to ask the staff to move all her things around again, and if this was where Lizzie wanted her to be, she supposed it would be best to abide by her wishes. It wasn’t that big of a deal anyway.   

Ruby had gotten settled in her room and was becoming well acquainted with Charlie and the staff, but she cried nearly every time Lucy tried to pick her up. She was beginning to fear that the little girl hated her. Even though it was more likely that she was just missing her parents. 

Lucy had loved Ruby from the first moment that Tommy laid her gently into her arms. How could she not, when she was half him? And the girl was sweet as an angel, at least when she wasn’t wailing through half the night. 

“She’s really loud,” Charlie complained, wandering into the newly fashioned nursery one night while Lucy held Ruby as she cried, rocking her back and forth in the rocking chair and shushing her gently. 

“I know, Charlie. You can go sleep in one of the other rooms, if you’d like,” she suggested, but he had just come over, peering at his sister curiously. 

“Is she always gonna be this loud?”

Lucy let out a breathless laugh. “I hope not.”

He reached out to pat Ruby’s back awkwardly, before sitting down on the floor beside where Asher was laying near Lucy’s feet, petting the dog and keeping her company until the baby finally cried herself to sleep and Lucy managed to maneuver her into her crib without waking her, ushering Charlie back to tuck him into his own bed.  

“Is Lizzie my new mum?” he asked while she pulled the blanket up around him. Lucy hesitated, an ache blooming in her chest at the idea of Charlie calling Lizzie ‘Mum.’ But she swallowed it down. The last thing that the children needed was to be put in the middle of this whole messy arrangement between their parents. She wanted to shield them from that as much as she could. 

Do I even still qualify as Charlie’s parent? she mused miserably to herself. Lizzie would be in charge of a large part of his upbringing, and Lucy would be absent for undetermined swaths of time due to working with Tommy in London. Depending on how often she was gone at work throughout the week, she honestly wouldn’t blame him if he did start considering Lizzie more his mother than her.  

“If you want her to be. Or she can just be your friend. You can call her whatever you like, so long as you are respectful towards her, yeah?”

He nodded, but his little brow creased. “It wouldn’t upset you, if I called her mum?”

Yes. “No, sweetheart,” she forced a smile. “It wouldn’t upset me. I just want you to be comfortable with her.”

“I like her. She’s always nice to me.”

A stab of jealousy, white hot, twisted in Lucy’s heart, but she ignored it. All that mattered was that Charlie was happy and okay. She would not let her feelings get in the way of that. “I’m glad, Charlie. And I’m sure that your dad will be too. It’ll make it easier for him if you and her get along.”

He nodded, and she gave him a quick kiss on the forehead. 

“Get some sleep, kiddo.”

“Night, Lucy.”

“Goodnight, Charlie. I love you.” She turned out the light for him and crept out the door, checking one last time on Ruby and making sure that the nurse was up and able to go to her if she woke up again. Satisfied, she then made the trek back to the other side of the house, Asher trotting at her side. 

At night, she laid awake in her bed, and tried not to think about how cold the space beside her was. Or what Tommy and Lizzie were most likely doing. Loneliness coiled around her, dark and with a touch like ice. She drew the blankets tighter around herself with a shiver. It had been so long since she slept alone. Tommy always made it his life’s mission to keep her warm; never a night passed when their bodies weren’t entangled, his arms around her and her head on his chest, their legs twisted together. 

She wondered if Tommy would even still want her by the time he got back.

He had a new plaything now. Lizzie was younger, taller, prettier, and unscarred. She was able to sleep through the night without waking up screaming from trauma-induced nightmares. She did not fall into hysterics when squeezed into a small, cramped space. Perhaps he would find that he preferred her.   

“Mrrp!” There was a soft sound, and then the ever so slight dipping of the mattress as a small body hopped up onto it. Lucy rolled over, opening the blankets to the little creature pattering towards her. 

“Hey, Trouble.”

The tortoiseshell cat meowed again, curling up against her side. Lucy let her fingers stroke through her soft fur, scratching her behind the ear and smiling a little when she started to purr. 

The bed dipped considerably as the larger bulk of Asher followed Trouble in jumping onto the mattress, laying down in the spot Tommy usually took up. He brought his cold nose in close to Lucy’s face, giving her a sniff before laying his head down by her chest, letting out a soft whine. She busied the hand not petting Trouble with stroking his deep black fur. 

“Thanks, babies,” she murmured quietly. Asher’s tail had thumped a few times against the mattress, as if he understood her.

For hours, she laid there in the dark, staring up at the canopy, tears silently streaming down her face despite her animals’ best attempts to comfort her.      

∗ ∗ ∗

Tommy slipped out of the bedroom, careful to close the door softly so as to not wake Lizzie. Sneaking barefoot into the sitting room of the spacious suite they were renting for the week, he sat down heavily on the couch, reaching for the phone.  

He had called Arrow House twice since arriving in Paris, and both times, Lucy had not answered. The first time around, Frances had informed him that she had to go to London unexpectedly to deal with some issue at his office there, and the second time, she was out riding with Charlie.

He was beginning to worry that she was avoiding him. 

Her demeanor at the wedding reception scared him. The expression in her eyes was so sad, and she kept looking at him as if she expected never to see him again. He felt awful for just leaving her there, internally kicking himself for not insisting that she be allowed to come along on the honeymoon. 

He would certainly be having more fun if she was here. 

He was trying to ensure that Lizzie had a good time, but as for himself, well…everything in France was tainted for him. Memories of the last time he’d been there, elbow deep in mud, the dark walls of the tunnel closing in around him, kept replaying on a loop in his head. 

At night, he closed his eyes and imagined that it was Lucy who was under him, but the feel of it was all wrong. The way the hands that were on his body touched him wasn’t right, and try as he might, he couldn’t fully relax. 

He moved performatively, letting Lizzie touch and kiss him and guide his hands where she pleased, his mind only half there until she reached her peak and he hastily pulled out, fisting his cock and always finishing on her stomach. The last thing that he wanted was another accident. Much as he loved Ruby, he was not keen on the idea of having any more children to further shackle him and Lizzie together. 

Afterwards, he would lay there on his side of the bed, thumbing at his brow, and feeling like the biggest scum on the earth. 

It felt like he was cheating on her.

Even though Lucy agreed to it, even though she said it was fine, he couldn’t shake the sick feeling that he was betraying her. 

He would lay there for hours, staring at the ceiling and hating himself. He couldn’t sleep without Lucy. The weight of her in his arms, head resting on her spot on his chest, had grown to be akin to that of a child clinging to a teddy bear during the night for comfort. Without her, he found himself unable to relax enough to even consider dozing off.    

Lucy was a cuddler, always clinging to him like a koala every chance she got. He couldn’t even remember a time when they’d shared a bed and she wasn’t snuggled up against him. Lizzie, however, was not, preferring to lay on her own side of the bed, the most touching between them being her hand resting on the center of his chest. He tried holding her the first few times after they had sex, but it always felt wrong, and neither of them seemed to particularly enjoy it, Lizzie always drifting away to her own side of the bed when she was ready to actually fall asleep.  

With a heaving sigh, he dialed the number for Arrow House and lifted the phone to his ear, listening to it ring. With each buzz, his paranoia grew. He had never spent so long away from her. It left his nerves on edge. He just needed to hear her voice, even if only for a minute. 

A part of him was starting to fear that when they returned to Arrow House, it would be to find Lucy gone. Her things packed up and removed, nothing but a note or merely a message through Frances to offer clues as to where she’d disappeared to. Departed from his life forever.   

Please, love, pick up the phone. He knew that it was late, and she quite likely could already be in bed, but if he could talk to her for just a second, just one second…

What little hope he had dwindled with each buzz across the line, and he was about to hang up as the last ring reverberated in his ear, when the other end picked up. 

“Hello?”

For a moment, he couldn’t say anything, too relieved and emotional at the mere sound of her voice to form words. 

“Hi, love,” he finally managed to get out, swallowing roughly and clearing his throat after hearing how rough it sounded. 

Quiet on the other end. “Hey, Tommy.”

“I, erm…” he shifted awkwardly, “I called earlier…”

“I know, Frances told me. I’m sorry, I was out dealing with a disaster. I didn’t want to call back in case you two were busy…”

“It’s alright,” he plucked a cigarette from his case where it was laid out on the table, swiping it across his lips before lighting it. “Do you need me to come home?” Please say yes. “If there’s a problem…” 

“No, no, I got it all sorted. Don’t worry,” he heard what sounded like papers being shuffled in the background. “How’s the honeymoon going?”

“It’s fine.” He winced at how apathetic his voice sounded.

“Are you having a good time?” He could distinctly imagine her frowning, phone held to her ear by her raised shoulder while she juggled papers and a pen at her desk. Or maybe she was curled up on one of the couches, Trouble in her lap and a cup of tea or a glass of whiskey on the table beside her. Maybe a book she’d been reading when he called still clutched in one hand.

“Lizzie is.” He scratched at his brow, taking a long drag from his cigarette. “I’m sorry for calling you so late.”

“It’s okay. I was still up anyway.” 

“I thought maybe you would already have gone to bed.”

A pause. “I can’t really sleep right now.” Her voice was quiet, as if she was ashamed of it.

“Me neither.” He rested his elbow on his knee, leaning forward in a way that his back was likely to protest about later. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too.” A sigh. “Only a few more days.”

“Yes.” It felt like an eternity. “Listen, there are some travel brochures in my desk. Take a look at them. After I get back, we’ll go wherever you want. Just the two of us.”

A tiny sound that might’ve been the bitten off part of a chuckle sounded from the other end of the phone. “You can’t just take one holiday after the other, love.”

“Well, no…but after a little while. Pick something out, and we can start planning.”

“Alright.” Her voice raised a little, and Tommy exhaled a relieved breath at the thought that he’d managed to at least somewhat raise her spirits. 

“How are the kids?”

“They’re fine. They miss you. I took Charlie out on Mystery the other day. It won’t be long before he’ll be able to ride on his own.”

“Mm,” he hummed, smiling at the thought. “Give them a kiss from me.”

“I will.”

“Are you working?”

“Yeah, figured I might as well if I wasn’t going to sleep.”

“Try not to overdo it.”

“Pot meet kettle.”

He bit back a smile. An ache of longing throbbed in his chest. All he wanted was to see her face. That sparkle in her big eyes whenever she teased him. The impish twitch at the corner of her lips. He could take her into his arms. Pinch playfully at her hip and kiss the top of her head…

He was ripped unceremoniously from his little fantasy by what sounded like movement in the bedroom. His smile dropped. 

“I’ll let you get back to it, then.”

“Okay.”

“I love you, sweetheart.”

“I love you too. I’ll see you soon.”

He nodded, though she could not see him. “Just a few more days.”

They bid goodbye and he hung up the phone, wiping his hand down his face. Lizzie’s voice called out to him from the bedroom. Tommy sighed, trying to push away the sudden zing of resentment that flooded his veins towards her. Tipping his head back, he inhaled deeply from his cigarette, trying to cobble up enough willpower to return to his wife, despite the way his entire being longed so desperately for another. 

∗ ∗ ∗

She sat at her desk, listening anxiously for the sound of Tommy and Lizzie’s car pulling up to the house. They were due home any minute, and with each tick of the clock on the mantle, the tightness in her chest seemed to cinch a little more, making it hard to breathe. She kept fiddling with her rings, at risk of wearing away the skin or giving herself little blisters on her fingers with the way that she kept twisting and fidgeting with the metal. 

Charlie was playing with his toys on the floor, making little engine noises as he dragged his toy cars across the rug. Ruby was upstairs, taking a nap while the nanny and Cyril watched over her.

“When will Dad be home?” Charlie asked, looking up at her with blue eyes that were the perfect mixed shade of Tommy’s and Grace’s.

“Soon, kiddo,” she offered him what she hoped was a reassuring smile, putting her cigarette out in the ashtray and straightening out some of the papers on her desk. 

Her days since the wedding had been taken up with work. Which was fine; she was grateful for the distraction. Though she still often caught herself staring out the window, lost in her gloomy musings about the future.

It was not long until her ears pricked at the sound of a car approaching the house. Charlie immediately jumped to his feet, whooping in excitement and racing for the front door. Lucy smiled a little to herself at his enthusiasm, rocking back in her chair with her knuckles raised to her lips. The engine shut off, and she heard the sounds of car doors opening and closing, and then the hum of voices when Charlie greeted his father in the entryway.

She would hang back for a little while; wait until they had come inside and the children got a chance to see them first. 

Watching the second hand on the clock tick steadily around its circumference, she rubbed mindlessly at her lips. She would just wait until they were settled…

Oh, who was she kidding? She was stalling; frozen with terror over what sort of reception she was about to be in for. 

When the second hand had made five full circles around the clock, and her cigarette was almost entirely depleted, she stubbed it out in the ashtray and forced herself to her feet. Each footstep that carried her closer to the door of her office felt like it was bringing her closer to her doom, rather than the man who had been her lover for over eight years. 

She just stepped into the hall, moving to close the door behind her, when she heard heavy footfalls approaching so quickly that she barely had time to turn before he was on her. And then his hands were cupping her face, mouth slanting over hers. Lucy let out a startled little sound, leaning into him on instinct. One palm flattened on his chest over his heart,  whilst the other ran up his neck to cup the back of his head. Tommy kissed her hard, purring contentedly against her mouth, thumb stroking her cheek while one hand fell away to grip her waist and pull her closer. 

For a moment, the whole world fell away, and there was nothing but the soft press of his lips to hers. Head tilting a little, he deepened the kiss with a parting of his mouth and a deep stroke of his tongue against hers. Lucy could not quite contain the soft moan she let out in reaction, fingers curling tighter around his lapels. Body fitting snugly to hers, Tommy sandwiched her between himself and the door she’d just pulled closed a moment ago. The warmth of him seeped into her even through the layers of their clothes, his distinctive scent of smoke and pine trees surrounding her comfortingly.

When he pulled away it wasn’t to go far. He merely dropped his face into her neck, pressing kisses all along the column of her throat and pausing to nuzzle at her skin and breathe her in.

“Hi,” he sighed out, lips tickling her when they moved, his nose brushing tenderly against the sensitive skin of her neck. Lucy let out a quiet, somewhat bewildered laugh, her brain still working to catch up with the rest of her after being kissed passionately enough to make her head spin. 

“Hi.”

He finally lifted his head, still lingering in close enough that their noses brushed. His thumb stroked at her cheekbone, eyes lowered and gazing at her adoringly. When she rubbed her hand up and down the back of his neck, he made another soft purring noise from in his chest and shifted closer to her.

My big grumpy black cat, she caught herself thinking fondly. 

“How was it?” she asked, voice quiet despite it being just them in the hallway. 

His eyes swiped down her body, drinking her in with a look that made butterflies take flight inside her stomach. “Fine,” he said absently, fingertips playing with the collar of her white blouse. His eyes darted up to hers. “I missed you."

She opened her mouth to say that she’d missed him too, when commotion erupted at the other end of the hall. 

“Dad! Dad! Come see what I made while you were away!” Charlie cried out excitedly, entirely oblivious to what was going on between her and his father. He bounded up to them, latching onto Tommy’s leg and tugging. 

“Alright, alright, just a minute, Charlie, yeah?” Tommy gave him a fond ruffle to his hair, and Charlie nodded before zooming away in the direction of the stairs. Tommy watched him go, amusement flickering in his eyes before looking back at her.

“He’s been doing painting in his art lessons this week,” she explained. Tommy’s lips twitched upwards, but an apologetic look crossed his face, leaning forward to touch his forehead to hers with a sigh. “Go,” she urged, rubbing at his forearm. “It’s alright.” 

He kissed her again. “We’ll catch up properly later. I promise.” Based on the coy glint in his eye, she knew he was not talking about just sitting down and chatting about his trip. A throb of warmth pooled in her lower belly. 

“‘Kay.”

He kissed her once more and reluctantly pulled away, just in time for Charlie to circle his way back to them, grabbing Tommy by the hand and half dragging him towards the stairs. She smiled at him when he shot an amused look at her from over his shoulder, before Charlie successfully led him out of sight. 

With a sigh, Lucy leaned back against the door, hand raising to rest on her chest, right on top of her collarbones. Relief washed over her like a cleansing waterfall, briefly taking with it the doubt that had been plaguing her since the wedding. 

That lasted only a moment, however, until she heard the click of approaching heels, and Lizzie rounded the corner, head held high with Ruby in her arms, the baby hoisted up against one hip. 

“Lizzie, hi, did have a good time—?” 

Lizzie walked right on past her, face drawn into a tight expression akin to that of thunder, eyes staring straight ahead. Lucy might as well have not even been there at all. 

She sighed, hands and fingers seeking out her rings to toy with as she watched Lizzie stride down the hall and vanish around the corner. 

∗ ∗ ∗

After Charlie took Tommy to see his paintings, Lucy returned to her office to wrap up what she had been working on before he and Lizzie had arrived. Hopefully that would give him and Charlie some ample time together.

Checking the clock and capping her pen, she tucked her files away into a drawer in her desk. Locking it with a key from her pocket, she took one last look around her office, checking to make sure that there was nothing else that needed putting away. Satisfied, she ventured out to find wherever it was that Tommy may have wandered off to. 

She didn’t need to look far. The muffled sound of voices led her to the main entryway, where Tommy and Lizzie were standing. Lizzie had her coat on, a picnic basket in the crook of one elbow and jaw set stubbornly, irritation flickering in her eyes.

“Lizzie, come on…” Tommy was saying.

“No, Tommy, this is important!”

“I’m not saying it isn’t, but I don’t see why she can’t come–”

“What’s going on?” Lucy asked, approaching them. Tommy looked over at her, his expression markedly different from the one he’d had when greeting her earlier. He looked tired and regretful. Almost haggard.  

“I arranged a picnic for me, Tommy, and the children,” Lizzie said, accusing eyes dragging away from Tommy to fix on Lucy. 

Lucy blinked at the blatant omission. “Just you four?”

Lizzie did not waver, chin angling up slightly. “The kids need some uninterrupted time with their father.”

“But you’ll be there,” Lucy added. Lizzie’s jaw clenched. 

“I already told Charlie about it. He’s excited.” Those accusing eyes darted between Tommy and Lucy, challenging. “He’ll be disappointed if we don’t go.”

Anger spiked in Tommy’s face. “Don’t you dare try to use Charlie–”

“Tommy,” Lucy half reached out to touch his arm, then thought better of it with Lizzie standing right there and already agitated. “It’s fine.”

He shot her a baffled expression. What she’s trying to do isn’t okay.

But she’s right that the children ought to have some time with their parents.

You’re Charlie’s mother. 

She gave him a sad smile. Was she? Still? Technically he had never been hers, even if she had always viewed him as such. 

He’s probably sick of me after a whole week of it just being me and him. The attempt at levity didn’t really work, Tommy’s frown still staying in place. So she tried again. The kids deserve to have more time with you. And it would probably be good for both of them to see you and Lizzie together. Charlie could use some bonding time with her, and having you around might help facilitate that. “We can catch up later,” she said the last part out loud. Tommy shot her a helpless, reluctant look. “It’s okay.” Already she could hear the clatter of Charlie’s little feet running towards them, eagerly latching onto his father’s leg. She couldn't bring herself to deny them time together. If it meant that she had to be left behind, so be it. 

In a movement that she sensed was both an attempt to soothe the sting and in defiance of Lizzie, Tommy leaned forward and kissed her softly on the cheek. “Won’t be long,” he murmured, quiet enough so that only she could hear. Nodding, Lucy managed a weak smile. 

“Have a good time.” 

“Dad, c’mon,” Charlie took hold of his hand, and with one final sad look her way, Tommy let himself be pulled towards the doors. Lizzie was standing there, waiting. The nanny had come at some point with Ruby, now securely in Lizzie’s arms. Lizzie’s eyes were dark, lips pressed in a thin line while she watched them. But once Tommy joined her and they started to walk out the door and down the driveway, her expression melted into a giddy smile. Lucy stood in the doorway, one hand resting on the solid wooden frame, watching the smiling family walk away from her.

After they disappeared from view, she took a step back, closed the door, and with a sigh returned to her office.  

∗ ∗ ∗

Tommy eyed Lizzie warily as they began the walk back to the house. She kept making excuses for them to stay out longer, until the sun was sinking low in the sky. And the entire time they were out, she kept shooting him these wide-eyed, hopeful looks that made his stomach clench uncomfortably. Even as he tried to distance himself from her, focusing his attention solely on Charlie and Ruby, she kept looking at him like that.

“Dinner will be ready shortly, sir,” Frances informed him as she helped him remove his coat. 

“Right. Thank you.” He barely got two footfalls away before Lizzie was calling for him again. 

“Tommy, will you come see Ruby’s new room?”

She has to be doing this on purpose. He looked over his shoulder at her. Lizzie’s brows were raised expectantly, Ruby already half asleep in her arms. Gaze shifting to his daughter, he sighed. 

Just for a minute, he told himself. “Alright.” He followed Lizzie up the stairs and down the hall, steps faltering and brow furrowing when she opened the door to Lucy’s room to reveal that the inside had been entirely redecorated and transformed into a nursery. The big canopy bed was gone, replaced by a crib and playmat. Where the vanity had once been, now there was a chest of drawers, a rocking chair by the window where a plush loveseat once was.  

His frown stayed in place as he followed Lizzie to the crib, bending his head to give his little Ruby a kiss before Lizzie laid her down for her nap. 

“Can you believe that she’ll be walking soon?” Lizzie shook her head, smiling and wiggling her fingers in front of Ruby’s face. 

“Mm,” he acknowledged, still looking around. Even the artwork on the wall was different. “This is Lucy’s room.”

“I asked her to switch so Ruby would be closer to us.”

Us. Just how often did she expect him to be sleeping with her? He thought that he had made it clear before the wedding what the sleeping arrangements would look like after the honeymoon.

“And she agreed to move?”

“Of course she did,” Lizzie’s tone sharpened, but at the way his brows rose in response she softened slightly, looking back at their dozing baby. “She wants what’s best for her.”

“Yes, she does,” he agreed. Don’t you dare try to use that against her. He had always been infinitely grateful for the love Lucy showed his children, despite their maternities. 

“We should go down for dinner,” Lizzie said, making her way to the door. After one last second spent glancing around the room, Tommy sighed and followed her. Lizzie moved with brisk steps, and Tommy allowed himself to lag behind, not particularly eager to spend anymore time with her after a week of being stuck in close quarters together.

A meow drew his attention, footsteps skidding to a halt when he spotted Trouble lounging on a windowsill in a patch of sunlight. She was watching him with those assessing green eyes, tail flicking back and forth casually. 

“Hey, girl,” he approached her slowly, suddenly deeply aware of the fact that he was being strongly scrutinized. “Sleeping on the job, eh? Don’t you have mice to catch?” He reached out a hand to her, and she suddenly hissed, paw swiping out towards him. He barely managed to retract his hand in time to avoid the sting of her claws. “Alright, alright,” he held up both hands, taking a step away from the irritated cat. 

You left her, Trouble’s eyes seemed to accuse.

It wasn’t unheard of for Trouble to take swats at him from time to time. She had always been deeply protective of Lucy, and while he and the cat had mostly found common ground in their shared love for their little redhead, Trouble would always, without fail, be ready to bite or swat at him any time that he upset her.  

“I know,” he said softly in response to the cat’s silent accusation. “But I’m back now. Things will be like they were.”

Trouble just let out another meow. One that he was pretty sure meant, we’ll see.

∗ ∗ ∗

They served salmon for dinner, along with potatoes and steamed vegetables. Tommy sat at his usual spot at the head of the table, staring at the spread of food laid out in front of him. When the serving bowls were passed his way, he spooned only the smallest of portions onto his plate. Lizzie sat at his right. Charlie on his left. 

All the other chairs were empty. 

He frowned as both Lizzie and Charlie started eating, looking at the various entryways into the dining room, expecting to see his redhead enter at any moment. 

“Frances?”

She looked up from where she’d been pouring Lizzie a glass of gin. “Yes, sir?”

“Where’s Lucy?”

Frances looked between him and Lizzie nervously. “She’s working late, Mr. Shelby. She won’t be able to make it to dinner.”

He felt his brows draw in. Had something else happened that she needed to attend to? Did his absence this past week cause too much work to be put on her shoulders? 

His fingers ran mindlessly over the smooth handles of the silverware to the right of his plate, lips turning downwards.

Or was she avoiding them?

He wouldn’t blame her if she was. What did he expect; especially after he ditched her to go play happy families with Lizzie rather than spending some time with her after a whole week spent apart?

Should he go to her? Or would it be better to leave her alone until she decided she was ready to see him? He felt adrift, completely unsure of what to do. It was a feeling that was completely foreign to him when it came to Lucy. Normally he knew her inside out. Often able to anticipate her needs and emotions with ease. But this whole situation was uncharted waters for both of them.

Did she share his feelings that he had been unfaithful to her? Did she realize while he was away that she deserved far more than to be the mistress to a man who could offer her nothing but a broken, twisted heart? 

She deserved so much better than him. Even though he loved her with his entire being, it was not even close to enough. He frankly had a hard time fully understanding why she was still with him at all. 

“Right,” he cleared his throat roughly. “Make sure to send a tray of food to her office then, will you? I don’t want her to go hungry.”

“Of course, sir.”

“Thank you.”

Beside him, Lizzie stabbed aggressively at her food and glared at him. 

After dinner was cleared away, Tommy stood hastily from his seat, prepared to sprint for Lucy’s office if he had to, but yet again Lizzie’s honeyed words beat him to it.

“Charlie, don’t you think it would be fun if the three of us all played a game together? You have some board games stashed away in the library, don’t you?”

“Yeah!” 

Tommy slammed his eyes shut, grinding his teeth together. He wasn’t sure what frustrated him more: her constant sabotaging, or her using Charlie to accomplish it. 

“Wouldn’t that be fun, Tommy?” Lizzie asked, and he turned his head to meet her gaze, her expression nothing but sweet and coaxing while she fluttered her eyelashes at him. 

“Please, Dad? Please?” Charlie begged. 

Tommy exhaled once, deeply. “Alright.”

Charlie cheered, and took off towards the library. 

“We should invite Lucy to join us,” he suggested. 

“She’s busy. No need to bother her,” Lizzie stood, pushing her chair in and moving to follow Charlie. “Besides, I think it’s good for the two of us to have some more time with Charlie.”

“Lizzie.” He spoke slowly, taking very great care when choosing his words. “Stop using him.”

“I’m not–”

“Yes, you are.”

Her lips pressed together, eyes lowering. She said nothing for a few seconds, then sighed. “You’re going to have plenty of chances to spend time with her once you go back to work. I want Charlie to see us together, Tommy. He needs to understand that we’re a family now. And why I’m the one taking care of him when you aren’t here.” She looked up at him, eyes suddenly very vulnerable. “I’m nervous about how things might go when you aren’t here. He might not listen to me.”

Tommy bristled slightly at what she was insinuating.  “He’s a good kid, Lizzie.”

“I know, I just…look, I know Lucy is the closest thing he’s had to a mother since Grace died, and I’m not trying to replace either of them, but…I think it would be good for both of us if he at least recognizes me as your wife. And as his step-mother.”

“He likes you. He trusts you. He’s known you his whole life. Lucy and I have both explained to him that he needs to respect you. And if he doesn’t, Frances can help you with him while I’m away. It may take some time for him to adjust, but he’ll get there.”  

Lizzie nodded, looking down again, suddenly seeming very insecure, and Tommy immediately felt bad. This whole arrangement, while she’d agreed to it, couldn’t exactly be easy for her. She would need time to get adjusted too. 

“Let’s go join him in the library. Before he bursts from excitement,” he suggested, standing and using a guiding hand to usher her towards where Charlie had run off. Lizzie glanced over at him, that hopeful, dare he say lovesick look appearing in her eyes once more. He swallowed harshly, tempering down his suspicions and concerns about what exactly she was trying to achieve here. She knew what she agreed to.

Surely she could not be hoping that there was a chance he would concede to changing the entire arrangement that the three of them had come to, could she?

That would be foolish. He and Lucy couldn’t have been more clear about how things were going to be if they tried.

But still, his nerves piqued, alarm bells going off in his ears, their shrill cries only growing when Lizzie reached down to take his hand as they made their way to the library.

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[bluesandboos]

HI THAT ANON WAS ME i have no idea why i sent it on anon actually 😭

I LOVE the long posts so this will probably be long as well <3 waking up to muchachos sounds like the best thing ever omg DONT APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR SCREAMING I WAS DOING THE SAME AT HOME OMG i kept seeing videos of people at those screens, i cant imagine what it was like to actually be there 😭 the baby in front of you sleeping through the whole thing 😭❤️

i have no memories period of di maria's goal i was literally floating my way through that match and i will NEVER sit through it fully again (except certain parts obv)

that song's this one! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTnRlJTusME it's prob my favorite tbh it's just so catchy!!

I literally don't remember that save either, everyone was talking about it afterwards but my hands were literally still shaking from the match in general, i saw it on instagram. i don't even remember most of the shootout but SOMOS TODOS MONTIEL I DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHAT IT MEANT AND IT STILL GAVE ME CHILLS THE FIRST TIME I HEARD IT

going to gardens and getting only honking sounds about right and a very specific, but no less valid vibe of its own 👍 literally every time i see pictures or videos of the celebrations, even now, i am in actual awe over the amount of people that turned out and celebrated (obviously lol) before the parade even and even more during it!! someone told me the dibu burger is actually super good, im genuinely dying to try it it looks great 😭 that image is so funny though, argentina won the wc and people are lining up to buy the dibu's burger as they should!! the store owners were either worried about crowds or they shut down to go celebrate themselves lbr 💀

the newspaper!!! gloria eterna thats beautiful stuff!!!! and the goat chips omg, pls dont apologize i am loving the visual aspect of this i've been watching celebration videos non-stop bc i watched so many after they won that its all my instagram recommendations show me anymore. https://mobile.twitter.com/PLF_2008/status/1606926273833467905 this is my favorite <3

i'm so glad you had fun it seems like such a surreal experience and thank you so much for these answers and videos!!!!❤️

OMG HI HI HI thank you for enjoying my rambles <3333 it was so nice to go through it all again, ugh i miss it so much

the baby was built different. i KNOW he's gonna hear it when he gets older about how he fell asleep during the 2022 wc final when argentina became campion del mundo. literally the greatest match of all time and he knocked.

di maria's goal, once i re-watched the highlights and actually registered what was happening, is literally the sexiest thing i've ever seen. the loss of possession, the build up, the quick passes. A TEAM GOAL FR. but whenever i re-watch highlights i can only watch argentina's goals. i have to fast-forward through the penalties that france gets and mbappe's goal; it upsets me too much lmao

also after di maria's goal, people were chanting his name and the camera's were showing how he was crying after he scored and i was just so happy for him <333 also afterwards, I read this article (https://www.theplayerstribune.com/articles/angel-di-maria-argentina-english) and it just made me even more happy that he got a goal in a wc final + won the wc.

ole ole ola is a BANGER omg argentines only coming up with bangers confirmed ty for the link :))

i ended up getting a dibu burger at the airport!!! 10/10 would eat again, my man dibu only comes out with quality content, on and off the pitch.

ppl were wasted af lmao one drunk man came up to my dad (who does not speak a lick of spanish) and was literally in tears trying to hug him and my dad was just like "sir, it's okay, you won, it's okay" (in english, mind you)

for real though, i legit think about how lucky i was to be there and experience it all every single day. and i get a nice reminder every day because my social media is ALSO ALL FOOTBALL now. my tiktok for you page still shows me edits ("the little boy from rosario" lives rent free in my head) and i obviously have to watch every time. although i can't re-watch the 120' minute save because it literally gives me anxiety that it's going to go in this time (even though it's literally over).

that tweet omg :))) im just so happy not only for the players but for the PEOPLE, the way that they loved that team and suffered through all the finals and losses. no one else deserved it more. i love seeing the abuelas dancing in the street and the songs about them- makes me so happy :)

it was so surreal. top memory of life. thank you again for asking and sitting through my rambles and content dump <3

[dilfdoctordoom]

Hi! :) do you have any good comic recs that are Marvel based (I usually read DC)

Been on a bit of a Marvel binge for the past year, so I absolutely can! All of these are gonna be available online, too.

Fantastic Four by Mark Waid

Fantastic Four by Johnathan Hickman (Would recommend reading Waid's run first; it's a much better introductory story to the group)

Guardians of the Galaxy (2008)

Gwenpool

Ms Marvel (2014)

Spider-Man (2018), but only from #75 onwards

Champions (2020)

I think any Daredevil run can be enjoyed, but I'd recommend the 1998 and 2011 runs to new readers

Hawkeye (2012)

Immortal Iron Fist

Captain America (2005)

Ironheart

Gamora

If you're looking to kinda jump right into a character, there's Marvel Masterworks -- these are very heavy though

Young Avengers (2005)

Alias

Winter Soldier (2012)

Moon Knight (2016)

Black Cat (2019) & Black Cat (2020)

Immortal Hulk (2018)

Loki: Agent of Asgard

Angela: Asgard's Assassin

Angela: Queen of Hel

Mighty Avengers

The Ultimates (2016)

Spider-Man: Miles Morales

Amazing Spider-Man by JMS

Guardians of the Galaxy (2020)

Nova (2007)

Nova (2013)

Nova (2017)

[thenon-fictiondays]

ok i know I've never posted anything about this fandom before but i know there's a lot of confusion in the sabikui fandom about who the kid on the cover of volume 8 is and im doing some digging so lemme take yall on a JOURNEY (spoilers for LN obvs)

so I know a lot of people have been hoping that this kid is a Milo-Bisco Iovechild and pointing out stuff like the blue highlights in the kid's hair, and referencing sources saying they raise a child together. This post may come as a bit of a disappointment in some ways particular for the shippers but like....I promise that whatever you're imagining, this is gonna be a wild ride.

so I was looking at some stuff online and came across an article on some of the plot points from the novel according to some of the readers (meaning ofc that the info is only as accurate as the readers' interpretation and translation skills) that Bisco and Pawoo get married and have a kid. Presumably, this kid

given that she looks exactly like Bisco and her name is listed as Akaboshi Sugar. So I was just assuming that she's Bisco and Pawoo's kid and Milo helps Bisco raise her bc.....thats what makes the most sense?? So when the sources said 'Bisco and Milo's child' what they meant was the child that they raise together. BUT. I was talking to my friend about it bc she's the one who dragged me into this fandom, and she found a summary of the volume in jpn. Now, the summary states that Pawoo is pregnant.......but it also explicitly states that Milo delivers a baby. It doesnt just say that they HAVE a kid, it says that Milo gives birth. Cue me and my friend losing our minds.

but wait there's more!

after we're done freaking out in DMs Im going about my day but in my head is just wtf wtf Milo has a baby wtf and then 3 hours later it hits me

yeah, Im dumb. this makes 8000x more sense. (But like....the word the desc used is 出産 and I've never seen that used to describe someone else helping someone to deliver a baby.) My friend and I are debating, she thinks that the kid might belong to the other Akaboshi (sexy dreds lady pictured above), I think its Pawoo's and Bisco's and we got queerbaited hard. My friend does some more digging and finds a reddit thread with commenters saying it actually IS Milo's kid via some kinda mushroom magic. I'm like please god let this be true I want this to be true so bad. but at the same time.....this is still shounen and I'm 99.99% sure society hasnt advanced far enough to allow this level of queerness in shounen. At this point we're like, okay we gotta read the novel and find out wtf is going on. So my friend bought it online and I get to work reading (ok, skimming).

First thing of note: Pawoo is indeed pregnant with Bisco's child...and by child I mean mushroom half-god half-human. Don't ask me what this means or how it works.

Second thing of note: Milo asks Akutagawa for baby names (this actually has nothing to do with anything i just thought it was really cute jdhjsjk)

at this point im like ok cool whatever the mushroom magic probs refers to the apparently super-powered mushroom baby Pawoo is carrying. Except...

Third thing of note: Milo has apparently been experiencing morning sickness. Well, it's not explicitly called morning sickness, but he's been having the same pregnancy symptoms as Pawoo and hasn't been able to find a medical cause. He's also been hiding it from Bisco so as not to worry him. Supposedly, it's a side effect of being imbued by Bisco's life force??

Fourth thing of note: Eventually he's struck with intense stomach pains and yells that there's something in his stomach. At this point I was highkey skimming bc it was very late and I had a headache, but a few pages later a child has appeared.

so.........................................yeah I think Milo just gave birth to Bisco's child

I guess I'm spending my day off doing a closer reading to try to fill in some of these gaps, lmk if anyones interested in an update 😅

[variousqueerthings]

OKAY SEASON TWO! HAS BEEN WATCHED!

I get the feeling they really weren't thinking there'd be another season over the horizon, it's got such a "last hurrah" feeling to it (albeit one with some lose ends), I'm almost sad, even though I know there is a whole Second Part.

Some thoughts! (we'll start with some criticism and then move into the praise, because that is the right order when you're having a fun time)

I've talked about this in various other posts, in a slightly disconnected way, but s2 did feel like a denouement, and because of that I think, overall, not quite as strong as s1 (but still, a very good time with no episodes that I didn't like! - I just wanna poke at some of that feeling first)

A fair bit of it felt more like a callback than its own defined narrative, particularly with so many (especially villainous) character returns + the way it kept chewing on ray's and fraser's dynamic in the way that it does, pulling them a little apart and then sticking them back together after some bomb-couple's-therapy (literal bomb), but also never actually putting them at odds to one another, with the except of "juliet is bleeding"

i would have liked a little fallout from that. i think when i rewatch i'll be making less assumptions, because i know where it'll be going, but i did (correctly) read early on that it seemed as if they'd be poking at ray and fraser in ways that would take a little of the gloss off and get into stuff like boundaries, jealousy, ideology, etc. and obvs if "juliet" had been a double episode it may have allowed for more of a satisfactory cooldown in terms of everything that happens in that episode, but because it's not and it stands as-is, i definitely need to read some kind of missing scene/s type thing that gets more into the meat of everything it's saying about the two of them, because Sometimes an episode does something so intense, you need... you need a little something. an acknowledgement that it happened -- and again, i think i had assumptions because s1 DID do this, it had a recurring narrative thread that was brought in throughout, culminating in the three finale episodes

OKAY SO HAVING ESTABLISHED WHAT WASN'T THERE GETTING INTO SOME OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS THAT WEREEEEE:

i am thrilled with meg's inclusion, i think she's great, i am assuming they're trying to hold back on hers and fraser's relationship narrative in order to keep the tension going for as long as possible, and in this case i don't hate that, mainly because fraser is always going to be on the a-spectrum to me and building a relationship when you're squiggly of romance/sexuality is a complicated thing of building new languages, so by enacting familiar tropes of will-they-won't-they, they've fallen accidentally into quite a realistic little bit of character development if you read things like I do... which I do... and i think she's a really great character. i would like to know more about her backstory/round her out with perhaps a plot giving her more focus (im not saying if it will happen, this has pretty solidly been a duo-show, but it'd be cool to have like. An Episode. but until then she's been very good in the episodes she contributes in, beyond "just" existing for love interest-ism)

there are some Stellar "ray does things for fraser that go so above and beyond" moments, and i like that this season intersperses that with some more direct demands on ray's part to have fraser think about the position he's putting him in a lot of the time + that it hurts fraser too. it gives them this crinklier texture i'd like to get my hands into, of course highlighted by "red white and blue" and then by some of the things ray says to him "flashback." i think this is something i want to take a look at on a rewatch

favourite episoooodes off the top of my head: - serious: the duel, bird in the hand, mask - funny: body language, some like it red (i think this is my overall winner of the season) - tropey: north, vault, witness (literally just a banging opening to the season)

"juliet is bleeding" has some of my favourite moments of the season generally also. it's just that darn pacing/structuring that gets to me also i wanna rewatch "the edge" -- i wanna rewatch them all, but i feel like i wasn't focusing enough when that one was playing and it had a lot of Things to poke at i think

i feel like i need to rewatch also to fully appreciate some Lore. fraser saving diefenbaker back in the day, fraser's grandmother, everything in mask, and the restructuring of gerrard's villainy as running much much deeper than i feel the pilot initially suggested (that is, that he was a multiple directions villain, not "just" the eco-destructive racism he was collaborating in. what a prick)

YEAH AND THAT WAS! SEASON TWO! *STARES AT THE WALL*

CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY RAN THE CREDITS AS MOMENTS WHEN THEY STARTED SMILING/LAUGHING!!! HEY NOW!!!!!!!!

maybe i'll go watch that silly 1988 david marciano film..... yeah

me like: i will not pause this episode, i will simply bask.

the episode: