#there are lots of situations where these behaviours wouldn't be modelled by your parents -

[shoreline-system]

Idk which mf who grew up with depressed parents needs to hear it but, washing your face is worth the effort. Brushing your teeth is worth the effort. Showering more than once a week, going outside, leaving your room, getting out of bed, changing into clean clothes (even if they're just another set of pyjamas), changing the bedsheets - it's all worth it.

It isn't easy. It isn't always an option - especially if you're dealing with physical disability on top of your mental health. But I promise, it's worth it.

[johannestevans]

rewatching M3gan with a friend and considering like... the theme of parenting and caregiving and people's desire to not take responsibility for caregiving and social responsibility and delegate those tasks to technology

like I don't feel that M3gan is actually hugely anti-tech compared to a lot of other films and tv series in this space, but its criticism is so much keener and like.

is all about distance between people, lack of community and responsibility

like just the fact that cady in the car with her parents, the mother and father are arguing right in front of her, but the mother is going about limiting screentime and the father's basically going "Oh but if she didn't have that, she wouldn't shut up"

the purpose of the toy and the ipad is not to bring their daughter joy or to entertain her or anything else in the dad's mind - the purpose of the toy is to keep her occupied so that they, her parents, can think about her and her care as little as possible

esp bc the aunt is such an irresponsible person who like... makes toys for kids, but doesn't see kids as full human beings and doesn't care about the ethics or study of them? like, eavesdropping on kids w a machine learning model is unethical

but she obviously doesn't give a fuck about that, and it's obvious the way she talks to cady and about her, the way she snaps about toys, doesn't purchase anything for her or plan ahead bc she's focused on work etc, like. there's no consideration

she's rude af to her neighbour but also like. the conversation where she goes "control your dog" and the neighbour goes "i just spend 80 dollars on a shock collar"

aka, i spent money on a device that doesn't train or care for my dog for me

shock collars, like pretty much any negative reinforcement, doesn't work on dogs or cats outside of specific situations, and electro shocking your dog just randomly when it is "bad" ISN'T training it. it's just teaching your dog sometimes it will be tortured, randomly

but it's a stopgap used by irresponsible, unethical owners who want to make their dogs "good" as fast as possible without learning about dog behaviour or training, and ideally not paying attention to them

and cady is. an incredibly mild-mannered and self-effacing child. she sits placidly and obediently when she has NO TOYS in the house, watching TV, bc she doesn't know or feel confident playing or exploring otherwise

like when she says "It's okay" to her aunt about not having anything is ridiculous bc it's NOT okay

i think the child protection agent has a horrible attitude, esp when she makes a judgy comment about someone being in their PJs in their own house

but also when she goes "i just unpacked them this morning, i don't think she plays with them anymore" about cady having toys is SUCH a lie but like... it's once again about not taking responsibility for her actions as a caregiver

also the fact that nicole was homeschooling this poor fucking girl like. no wonder she's frighteningly self-effacing and not at all wilful as a child, and why she's so utterly LONELY

like it's interesting seeing her play with the toys and robotics stuff and how engaged Cady is because it is her like, actively teaching her about the subject and engaging, and the thing is like

I don't think gemma is inherently bad or cold for having collectables or not having books in her house, her home is quite soulless but she's obviously into this kind of stuff and that's not nbd

what sucks is that like. she's terrible at socialising with anybody, not just her niece, but EVERYONE - she's a stereotypical autistic in tech, and i think it's easy to criticise her more bc people assume that bc she's a woman she has to be More Maternal or whatever but like

it's not just her relationship with Cady that's distant, it's her relationships with everyone EXCEPT technology - because technology she can control, she can shut down whenever she feels like it, she doesn't have to consider respect or autonomy, let alone giving them grace to make mistakes or learn and develop, or learn about her as she's learning about them

it's one-sided and she gets to control the entire thing, which is the opposite of a caregiving relationship