#there are literally thousands of fix and yes I have my complaints too because a lot of people are clearly not thinking about Agatha enough

[thenerdofthegroup]

Yo yo yo another chapter for you all. I thought I might just copy and paste my notes at the end of the fic instead of rewriting my thoughts:

I hope everyone had a good Christmas and have a fun New Years Eve! I thought I would be getting this done quicker but being at home is very distracting so this Christmas fic will be going on way past Christmas soooo sorry about that.

Little note: I know I'm terrible at dialogue. I wish I could capture Agatha’s comedy perfectly but I really struggle, especially in a non-magical setting. Every time I am writing a chapter, I'm constantly reevaluating and making sure these match up with who they are in canon (eg Agatha is a scammer which I will go into later in more detail because she is a mastermind). I hope it doesn't sound weird but a wonderful person and writer @trickofthelights (READ THEIR WORK IT’S AMAZING) wrote a ‘how to write Agatha’ post on tumblr, and that is EXACTLY how I've felt about Agatha since I started writing her last year. I do focus on her softer and ‘lover side’ more, which she does have and anyone who says she isn't a deep lover at heart is wrong (only slightly joking), but that is always what I'm thinking about. So I really hope I stay in character because my mind is never not thinking about Agatha so… that would be embarrassing 😂

Anyway, rant over. Just know I put a shit ton of thinking into these stories and characters (if you didn't know Agatha has been my special interest for 4 years now and if you know autistic people… you know we don't take it lightly) so remember, always be nice to your fic writers! We do this for free y’all

[tarisilmarwen]

Ahsoka "The Jedi, The Witch, and The Warlord" Liveblog

Woo boy, there were certainly some Choices in this.

Yeah yeah, I'm late and spoilered to hell I know, look, I have been Going Through It out in realspace and my priority has been finishing Whumptober fics, cut me some slack.

Anyway.

Lars Mikkelson continuing to crush it as Thrawn.

"Even I fell victim to the... heroics of a single Jedi." Looooooool another bit for my collection of Pissy!Thrawn moments.

We're not going to get an explanation for why the Nightsisters and Thrawn are so tight, are we?

Morgan looks a little bit trepidacious about all of this ha ha.

All right, a point in this show's favor, this look at Nightsister rituals and culture is interesting.

And the flaming sword is cool, I'll admit.

Ngl, the editing really needs to be tightened up in this scene, we really only needed the one or two establishing shots before cutting into the interior.

Eman continues to be the perfect Ezra. I love him. 10/10 no complaints.

Ngl, this is sweet on the surface that Ezra's new saber has pieces of Kanan's buuuuuuuut *waves Green Saber Ezra Supremacy flag*.

Sabine, let him borrow y'all's lightsaber and YOU build a new one.

Ah goody, an Exposition Reveal.

-_-

This... doesn't actually explain Baylan's "Your family is dead because your Master didn't trust you." line btw. JUST SAYING.

I don't even know what the narrative wants anymore re. Sabine's choice to gamble Thrawn's return for Ezra.

Aaaand please not to be reminding me of the Wrong Jedi arc kthnx.

Oh good an action scene.

Ezra and Ahsoka being cool Jedi together, nice. Could be more emphasized and staged even more coolly tho.

Well poop, I guess that's the reason why we had to risk stowing away on Thrawn's ship.

Oh good! This holomap thing is exactly the kind of plot device I actually needed for one of my Sabezra Week fills.

Lol Thrawn be taking NO chances lololol.

Oh hello finally some of Thrawn's theme in the score here. Thrawn using the men's loyalty and fanaticism towards him personally to achieve his goals, fits the culty vibes, sure.

I am liiiiiviiiiiiiiiiiing for the subtle nervousness in Ezra's voice when talking about Thrawn finding the Dathomir castle and waking the witches. PLEASE CAN I HAVE A THOUSAND WHUMP AND ANGST FICS ABOUT THE IN-BETWEEN BEFORE EZRA'S ESCAPE FROM THE CHIMAERA?

His arms are so comfortably around Sabine awwwwww.

Thrawn be all srs bznss and I'm loving it.

Yeah no, Jedi!Sabine is REJECTED, she did not have any kind of necessary mental or emotional breakthrough, she wasn't shown calming her mind properly, sorry Dave THE LEGWORK AIN'T THERE, Imma fix this to be Ahsoka in the inevitable rewrite/fixfic that I've apparently decided I'm doing.

Oh Ahsoka is helping too, well I'm still not having Sabine be able to do it.

HAAAAAAAAAA THAT PISSED LOOK OF THRAWN'S OH MAN THE SNARLING LIP CURL, THE RAGE, YES PLEASE MORE.

The struggle to recompose himself OH MAN.

This is peak Mirrorverse!Thrawn and I'm here for it. I love seeing my headcanons playing out onscreen.

Aaaaaand this would have been the perfect scene to have Ezra and Sabine sharing the Our Lightsaber, meanwhile Sabine should be fully kitted out Mando style.

*simmers*

STAGE THIS DIFFERENTLY SO THAT SABINE'S BESKAR IS NOT CONSTANTLY LITERAL PLOT ARMOR PLEASE.

Aahhhhhhh Ezra my love! <3

Should have either let him use the Our Lightsaber or continued with the Force martial arts though, pick a lane. Or have a conversation about why they need to actually get him another saber.

Eman is... waaaaaaay better at this than Rosario, sad to say, lol.

Look at him GO THERE'S MY BOY.

I love him.

Oh what are we doing now?

Ohhhhh the zombie!troopers!

Lol Ezra must have left before the Nightsisters could show Thrawn their zombie techniques.

Eman makes this look flawless, I am in love.

Battle Couple Sabezra moment, awww.

"I missed you."

FAKSJHFAKJFHHKKHHHFHFH OKAY DEAD.

DEAD AND DECEASED.

LIKE THE ZOMBIES LOL.

Aaaaaaaaand I'm gonna adjust this in the fixfic, because right now it looks like they were waiting to actually dock.

And my typing is being slowed down hang on a second.

Still dumb.

Okay back.

Thrawn basically telling Morgan, "Right, so you're going to have to go fight the Rebels and stall die for me, mmkay?"

She's looking like she might regret all of this now lolol.

I do like how the finale is making it very very easy for me to fix later lol.

Like here. Morgan should have attempted to stop Ezra and Sabine. Just a small attempt, and then blocked by Ahsoka, and Ezra and Sabine run around and outmaneuver them.

BATTLE COUPLE SABEZRA. :D

Aaaaand final trailer shot accounted for.

Okay, can there be a little more effort on the choreography there please?

Oh no Sabine, EZRA SAVE HER.

Or we could retcon Sabine into actually legitimately being Force Sensitive and have her pull the Our Lightsaber.

SIIIIIIIIGHHHHHHH.

*grumbles, takes down notes about how to fix this in my rewrite*

Oh come on Ezra, you can jump that.

Catch me melting at the sheer and utter trust Ezra has in Sabine's abilities.

(But also, screw this, she's getting a jetpack in the rewrite.)

Aaaaaaaaaand I do hate that they got separated again, screwing alllllll of that.

Nice of the troopers to just politely stop shooting.

Yeah so, this is basically gonna be a 1 v 100 for Ahsoka when I rewrite it, let my girl have a hard fought climactic battle, she can take it.

"Your friends are dead." Uhhhh nah they ain't what does this bit of dialogue even connect to?

Lol Ezra gets to put on the big boy stormtrooper armor.

The vaaaaaaaaaguely panicky twitches that Thrawn has here. A+, excellent, no notes.

No kill like overkill LOLOLOL.

Thrawn, internally: Shitshitshitshitshitshitshiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

Ah Thrawn is going to try Break Them By Talking. Ezra tanked this let's see if Ahsoka can do the same.

Nope, she's Affected.

Aaaaaand he out.

Bye Thrawn!

Hmmmmgh, yeah no, because in my rewrite I'm axing the entirety of Sabine actually becoming a Jedi it's going to be better that she goes with Ezra on the Eye of Sion instead of stays with Ahsoka, if she stayed a Jedi then yes that's what the conclusion should have been that makes narrative sense now that I see it.

But also again, I Do Not Like That Plot Point so--*grumblegrumble mumble*

Hi Morai!

Bandit queen Shin? I could dig it.

Baylan chilling with Mortis god statues.

I STILL DO NOT SEE ANY SOLID EVIDENCE THEY'RE GONNA DO ABELOTH GUYS, SORRY.

And Thrawn is setting up base on Dathomir. Lol wait til he finds out that there's basically nothing there anymore lololol.

Those uh... those be a lotta dead troopers. Probably most of the Chimaera crew.

...Cripes did they die naturally, did Ezra kill them, or did Thrawn pull some kind of Jonestown thing in order to enact his eventual revenge?

Oh maaaaan what if it's that last one, that would fit with the cult-like chanting in his intro omgghghhhggkajsfkjh.

Frick man, Thrawn fixing to unleash an undead army on the GFFA that can really only be taken out by lightsabers.

Oh come on, you're telling me Ezra was on the Eye and didn't pull some last minute shenanigans before he left?

Didn't screw Thrawn over one last time for nostalgia's sake?

(He and Sabine are blowing up some engines before they skedaddle, in the fixfic.)

HERA AND EZRA SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALLOWED A HUG, FILONI.

The attempt at bookends here is cute but no. LET HERA HUG HER SON.

THIS DOESN'T EVEN REALLY WORK AS A BOOKEND.

YES THE PART WHERE CHOPPER RECOGNIZES HIM IS CUTE BUT THIS IS WASTED DRAMA. THERE'S NO REASON FOR THIS.

LET HERA HUG HER SOOOOOOONNNN.

This whole scene just doesn't work because we're trying to shoehorn it into being a bookend for the opening, it doesn't wooooooooooorrrrrk.

THEY SHOULD HAVE HUGGED.

*furiously taking down notes on how to rewrite this scene*

*grumbling*

Blah blah Sabine can feel Anakin there but Ahsoka can't? blah blah blah.

Aaaaaaand closing us out with "As The Sun Sails And The Moon Walks"

Well.

Where do I begin?

Okay so... final verdict... I DO actually like this show.

THAT BEING SAID.

There was soooooooo much about the execution and so many of the narrative choices that I just NEEDED to be better and it frustrates me. Because this show by all rights should have been a spectacular emotional thrill ride like Kenobi and it just wasn't.

A lot of the problems and nitpicks I had with Kenobi are exacerbated here, especially under Filoni's brand of, "I didn't care for what Lucas did with the Prequels, here let me fix it." NO FILONI IT DIDN'T NEED FIXING IT WAS FINE! HOW THE FORCE WORKED WAS FINE! THE JEDI WERE FINE!

But there's such GOOD STUFF in here that I can't discount it all fully like I can with the Sequel Trilogy. (Which, believe me, I have attempted to workshop and fixfic but ultimately gave up on.) The purrgil lore! The Ancient Dathomiri! Another galaxy! Whatever Baylan was up to! Sabezra being adorable! Thrawn!

Soooooo yeah, basically join me sometime in the future for when I inevitably create a fixfic AU for this show like I did for Aldnoah.Zero because unfortunately I can't give up on this show I need to fix it, just hand me the characters and story and I can fix it.

Can't do much for the camerawork, choreography, and occasional stiff acting (Not you Eman, Natasha, Ray, Evan, and Lars, you're all great.) but I can at least salvage that part lol.

Ultimately... mid. Excellent premise and cool concepts brought down by subpar execution and some frankly baffling narrative decisions. But gimme like a week and I will workshop a Fanon AU that I can be completely happy with.

Hopefully we get a Season Two? Maybe? Or resolve everything in the Mandoverse movie?

Peace out, y'all.

[tolerateit]

Put this down as the fastest this government has agreed on anything. It only took a day, and they agreed to change the laws to get off easy despite cancer patients dying from the shit they've been pulling. It's basically a two party system but both parties are two sides of the same coin, so they gotta protect each other at the expense of the rest of the country and its citizens.

Anyway, I'm so so so sick of this and all the other updates I've shared with you so I'm just gonna say it, this is MK. In a European shithole that's been trying to join the EU for like two decades now. Funny, right? The EU has laws and regulations and shit like this will (hopefully?) not fly. I think changing this law might be the last straw, so they can make the last necessary changes to the constitution next year after elections and we can finally join. Hundreds of thousands have been migrating away in the last decade because it's such a shithole. The moment we join, this place will pretty much empty out and honestly, it's what these politicians deserve. Not to have anyone even picking up their shit. Literally. Should hopefully happen in a few more years although at this rate, everyone might leave even before then.

TO THINK I used to dream about working in politics and diplomacy and fixing this country up! And pursuing world fucking peace?! You know what I had back then? The audacity lmao

I grew up and realized I don't wanna ass kiss any one of these rotten walnuts for brains to do anything in life, and I certainly don't want to take part in their various criminal activities (which are mandatory if you do join, and joining is mandatory to get pretty much any job here. Or even open up your own business, because they'll find a way to shut you down if you don't help them out in whatever way they see fit).

Like, can you even grasp that I only have digestive issues with the dairy products here, but I'm perfectly fine whenever I consume any of them outside of the country? I certainly can't, like what's the difference? what are they putting in it here that's making me ill? God knows what's in the rest of the food at this point.

I made a meme a few years ago, we had our own situation of a model on stage saying the country's name in a funny way like that girl did with France. I saved a screenshot of it and captioned it with the name and everything because it was funny. I've now been using it as a reaction pic on a daily basis. Any time anyone tells me anything negative, I'm like, you know what, yes that sucks, but you know what else? That's just how things are here and nothing and no one can change them, and then show them the meme. At least it gets a smile in any shitty situation.

I was wondering why it's this specific event that's triggered me so much and I found out after hearing the news about the law. My husband's been having health issues all year. It took over 30 doctors and exams and god knows what else just to get an official diagnosis. A bunch of devices for exams haven't been working for months, all across the country no less, so you gotta pay out of pocket at a private clinic that has a working one. All this because most of the good doctors have already left. And you also gotta pay out of pocket at those private clinics to talk to doctors now too, because if there are any good ones left, they're working there because it's less stressful and operates better post covid. And pays a bit more, but mostly it functions better. Thank god we've been able to afford it (freelance ftw!) There were three good ones in that process: the one that recommended the last one, an unrelated one that said your issues aren't from this organ, you can be 100% sure of that, and that last one that gave the diagnosis. And we know it's correct because I haven't seen a single complaint about that doctor on any forum. I don't think all the others we went to really even have brains, someone must have finished their schools for them given what they said and recommended. And I know that much with my degree in English. But imagine being so horrible that you literally let patients die so you can make more money?! When most of them are already poor so they resort to selling everything they own just for the chance to spend more time with their loved ones?! And you're already in one of the highest paid fields here?! On top of everything, people can't even speak up or out about it because corruption and politics run so deep they immediately threaten job loss for you and your family too. I wanna set this place on [redacted] and watch the aftermath calmly as they did to a makeshift covid hospital a couple of years ago. And I mean that literally. That's a whole other story where "no one is at fault" because they can play it that way.

God I hope this is the last time I send you one of these. But I already read some superficial reports earlier today of new fucked up issues being uncovered so I guess no dice. I hope someone protects the journalists, if this keeps going on they'll have it worse because evidence shows these politicians aren't above literal murder to get their way.

sorry for clogging up your ask box with all this, and as I always appreciate you for listening <3

you don't have to apologize at all, it is of course infuriating that these things continue to happen all across the world but it is so important that people stay angry about them! And talk about them!!! Health especially is such an important domain to navigate because it puts SO MANY lives at risk I hate that this is happening

[littlefoxwithbighat]

Hi! This is talking about the plot of the dream smp in a meta sense and its a bit negative. The person behind this blog wants to remind you that you can skip if it's not for you and they still love the SMP. :)

ALL DISCUSSION IS ABOUT CHARACTERS. DON'T ATTACK CCS OR I WILL STEAL YOUR KNEECAPS.

I can't lie; I'm really annoyed and worried at the way the writers are handling Tommys character at the moment, and am increasingly concerned about it messing up the plot.

I wasn't very happy with the finale. I don't think that means all is lost, I think they can pull it back but it's going to take some work. I was worried about the way that things were handled before but the green festival was actually very well handled, so my worries were mostly assuaged. But yesterday? I don't know.

The fact nobody lost a cannon death is kind of disappointing. The weight of blowing up an entire city/ (country?) brutally is somewhat lost if there is no human loss. Nobody was hurt physically and the only people this had a big mental impact on was Tommy and Tubbo, everyone else wasn't very attached to L'manburg or had gone rogue, or were detatched from the while situation. And maybe it's the fact it's happened to them before or that they still have each other or that it seems odd/ frustrating that they still care so much about this place or that it was always a losing battle and they knew it, but I dont find myself really pitying them like I probably should. And I think that comes down to character growth or lack thereof, which I'll discuss later.

Niki and Fundy have started a villain arc, or at least a violent nihilism arc, and I actually don't mind it, in fact I'm a fan but it wasnt really foreshadowed, or really just showing them cracking as much as it should have been. I would guess this has mostly been started for both of them to tie Niki into the plot and I can't blame her for wanting that. Fundys acting is very good, and I REALLY hope the writers handle this well. For Fundy, regarding the fact that his father is going to be resurrected and that Fundy is following in his footsteps... If the writers don't realise that connection and make this a big step in Fundys narrative I will scream. Also Funboo bros are very interesting character foils and I hope their relationship is maintained so that they can play of off each other and also man I just really want them to keep being friends, it's a generally positive healthy relationship that makes both characters sympathetic and we need that right now. As for Niki, her character motivations seem to be mostly centered around Tommy and on the one hand I'm like ehhhh, because Tommy's character already gets a disproportionate amount of attention in terms of narrative, and I get it, but recently he's been a bit TOO much of the protagonist for a multi-person POV improve server... and I'm apprehensive. However on the other hand this has potential for a nice confrontation between Tommy and Niki. If that happens I want Tommy to be aware that this is going to happen and not talk over Niki, and I don't want it to be brushed over. I think it would be best if it was just the two of them. This also gives a nice chance for Tommy to examine his trauma with Dream and explain his motivations and Niki to get her anger out. I also want it to end positively, because it absolutely can and lack of communication when the viewer knows how to fix it is OK as a plot device sometimes but incredibly frustrating if it keeps happening (cough, Tommy and Techno).

Ranboo is reacting to the plot amazingly and I have as usual only praise for him, go, you funky enderman boy, go.

Wilbur is getting resurrected which is a thousand percent because Will wants the plot back and honestly I don't really mind, I think he'll do a good job. However I really hope he speaks to everybody about their characters, particularly Fundy, Ranboo and Niki because I don't want their characterisation and arcs to be thrown away.

Tubbo is doing very well, and I don't have many complaints to be honest. I hope he continues to get in with the acting with no shame, because he's an amazing VA when he wants to be, but sometimes he undercuts serious moments a little too much by laughing. Same criticism for Phil actually. But both are doing good.

On the theme of that, while I don't mind tension relievers or humour in serious moments there are sometimes too many. It was a lot worse about a month back and it was improving, but it seems to be creeping back in and ehhh. It's kind of Marvel-esque and not in a good way? I think it has a lot to do with bloopers and for some reason there are loads at the moment? Like Wilburs arc had almost none and this arc there's at least 2 every moment. Which isn't always their fault but maybe they need to take more steps to prevent them.

Techno is doing OK, he's quite a meta character so I'm not too mad about him undercutting serious moments but sometimes he does do it too much or in the wrong place. Like making jokes about Connor completely over the top of Tommy and Tubbos reunion, you know an event which has been foreshadowed for yoinks, prevented them from getting a proper flow going and kind of ruined it. And that made the reunion really dissapointing, which is a shame because it could have been so cool. However his characterisation is consistent and dedicated, his goals and relationships are clear and he's getting humanised more which is nice, and his monologues are great. I'm curious to see what he does now NL'M is gone but I have total faith in him.

Now Tommy. Oh Tommy. His character is such a mess at the moment, which is a shame because there were moments I saw people doubting his character choices and I was behind him.

Firstly the relationship with Techno fell apart. That was inevitable. Tommy didn't care about anarchy and Techno didn't care about the discs and both of their goals would impede the others. But the way Tommy talks about Techno is so... No? And now I understand that Tommy is going to have a biased perspective on the whole situation, and that's fine and good, but his character is so wrong about Techno it feels weird and painful? Like even from his perspective it went down differently to how he talks about it. They don't listen to each other and it's like watching two people scream at a wall.

The issue is the relationship was fairly well developed. I struggle to see Tommy saying he saw Techno as a friend but Techno never saw him as a friend because hold on, what? Techno, here's a respiration helmet because of that one of thing you told me about your trauma, a disc because those make you happy, plus top tier armour and weaponry, plus I'm going to spend time with you, calm you down from panic attacks, hide you and protect you from Dream, let you wander around L'manburg and achieve your own goals and help you plan things out Techno and Tommy didn't get ANYTHING from that? Plus after Techno opens up about his goals and his trauma, do the one thing that would hurt him the most, (use and then betray him) and then directly oppose his goals after he helped me? Ugh. It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I know he would never let Tubbo get hurt and thats fine, but there were ways around that. If you're framing this character as the protagonist, then he needs to be sympathetic or at least grow and Tommy using Techno again without remorse and then refusing to listen to his perspective or show any gratitude for anything makes it difficult for viewers to empathise with him in my opinion. Have him betray Techno and then listen to Techno when he explains why Tommys betrayal hurt him and apologise, fine. Have him listen to Techno and try and find a way to keep Tubbo safe regardless, fine. Have him betray Techno but apologetically and still trying to avoid Techo getting crushed or killed, fine. But THIS? Im sympathetic towards Tommys character but this throws away so much potential character development for Tommy, where at least he saw Techno as a person, and not only that but a nice person who despite everything has set aside everything to help him? And then for him to be exactly where he was at the end of season 1, both literally, and emotionally ? I understand this is a child soldier with trauma but this is supposed to be our protagonist and if he doesn't grow, and isn't sympathetic and destroys someone we care about, how can we root for him?

Now all of this could be forgivable, not great, but forgivable, if Tommy had moved on from the discs. The Goddamn Discs™. And the worse part is all the dominoes were lined up to suggest he had! We had his moment of "he watched me" where he realised Dream was the villain and controlling him, "I've become worse than everyone I hated" good, amazing, I see where this is going, "The discs were worth more than you ever were!" and then he retracts and apologises and you think horray! Tommy has realised the discs were being used to control him and if he doesn't care about them, they hold no value! Now he's going to realise that his friends are more important and he's going to stop going after the discs. His new character motivation can be killing Dream and protecting his friends, especially Tubbo. It's clearly angled this way, and this way the plot progresses and Tommy with it. What marvellous character development. Look at him go.

And THEN, after everything that's happened he says the most important thing is the disc and I want them back!?!? EH !!? Why... Who... Who gave the OK on that writing decision? That's so static and boring and unsympathetic! And then he's back to asking people do fight for L'manburg? What?

I'll be honest I was kind go hoping either Tommy or Tubbo would die with L'manburg. I didn't mind it they didn't, there are a thousand ways to make the plot work without them dying, but this was not a great one.

PLEASE let Tommy have some growth. Yes he's had some from not caring about L'manburg to fighting for it in season one, but that was ages ago and he doesnt seem to have changed since then in any way that really counts. And I know this is harsh and he's traumatised but you have to understand I am talking about this in a sense of characters and narrative and NOT in terms of real life. Tommy needs to be better and dynamic because he is a charcacter and I want him to be a good one.

Having said all that, here are my thoughts on the future of the SMP.

Firstly, I am worried that becuse it is such a good source of content, especially for Tommy that they will never ever kill his character and leave him fighting with Dream for eternity. And I love the Dream SMP but I've seen stories that get dragged out for plot or content, and however much you think you want it to never end, let me tell you, yes you do. It will get stale and repetitive and I want the dream smp, or at least Tommys arc to go out with a beautiful and brilliant and fabulous plot ending instead of being dragged into the dirt. And then maybe new characters take the spotlight. Just please god give it a goode ending.

I also really hope they don't throw other things away to make Tommy the centre of attention, especially if it's destructive to the plot, or kind of weird and obnoxious.

Secondly, I am intrigued about the prison and Schlatts book to Dream and Technos favour and the egg and what that entails and I hope they really think through those plot points carefully and make them work, and don't forget them or throw them away.

Thirdly, I am intrigued for Wilburs return and hope that he manages to fix it cohesively without too crazy a change of pace and style and keeping characters (especially Ranboo and Fundy and Niki) consistent.

I hope they prep for the future and think things thought and communicate with each other.

It might be interesting to see other countries finally discussed but I don't know how much that would intefere with other plot points so we'll see.

That's all! Reminder that this is about characters and plot and this is just a few criticisms. I love the dream smp, but there are somethings I wanted to get of my chest. Please be respectful and feel free to discuss in the notes. Also, again, no hate to any CCs!

[shinidamachu]

No Place I Would Rather Be

Summary: We're a thousand miles from comfort. We have traveled land and sea. But as long as you are with me, there's no place I'd rather be. Word Count: 3.617 Genre: fluff Fandom: InuYasha Pairing: Inukag Format: oneshot AO3 Link: 🌹 Fanfic.Net Link: 🌹

Boredom was eating him alive.

Days had passed without a single lead about the jewel fragments. So much that their little group had disbanded for the time being. Sango went back to what was left of her old village. It had been a while since she last paid homage to their dead. Kirara, of course, was her loyal company — and also ride. Miroku was visiting Mushin’s Temple, as if the place hadn't been profaned enough, already. Shippo was still around, but keeping his distance due to InuYasha’s stormy mood.

The frustration of it all got him desperately wishing for some kind — any kind — of action. Something that didn’t involve sulking under a tree and watching time crawl. Every second of this idleness meant another second Naraku was out there, still breathing. Collecting the shards was a small mean to achieve a bigger, imperative ending. It gave him purpose, a sense of getting closer to his ultimate goal step by step. Waiting got them nowhere. It only granted him to be alone with his thoughts and the combination was nothing but disastrous.

Lucky for him, his private source of distraction was not too far away.

Kagome was humming a foreign tune, the same one she liked to sing whenever she was happy. Following the melody was almost mandatory. InuYasha didn’t realize what he was doing until he arrived to the other side of it, where the girl thumbed through her hair in a futile attempt to tame her hair, the lake’s surface a natural mirror at her convenience. InuYasha made his presence known before his own reflection joined hers.

“It’s no use, ya know.”

“Jerk!”

The girl glared at him and retaliated by splashing water on his direction — of which he easily dodged. InuYasha had to admit her reaction was justified, given his past tendency to be utterly unkind to her. This time, however, although his tone wasn’t devoided of casual teasing, he was being completely honest. When you spend sunrise to sunset with someone for so long, it was inevitable learning a thing or two about them. Kagome had a wild hair. Not in a bad way, but it sure had its own will. Especially in the humidity, which was definitely the case of that afternoon. To an outside viewer, the strands could pass as straight. Noticing the shy waves at the end and how they used to stand out after getting wet was a privilege for the few allowed to look closer — a privilege InuYasha cherished. She always had her hair down and he liked that she did. It was destined to be free, to go with the wind. And it had grown a hell of a lot since they first met. The half demon wondered if Kagome was aware of how much. He certainly was.

Then she got up, revealing clothes that were undoubtedly new to his eyes. It was one piece, all lime flowers and malleable fabric against her cream skin. A bit longer than what she usually cared to wear, but leaving her arms and shoulders at plain sight in compensation. The view was thrilling, until his eyes caught the yellow backpack laying by her feet, causing his grin to falter. He understood the implication behind it, even if the question had yet to pass his lips.

“What’s with the weird kimono?”

“Oh, this.” Kagome lowered her gaze, inspecting for herself. Her combative attitude swiftly turning into a cautious posture. “It’s a sundress. I’ve been meaning to ask… can you please give me a ride to the well? I’m going home.”

There it was.

Somehow, getting his suspicions confirmed did nothing to prevent the scowl from forming on his face.

“Thought the school thing were over for the summer.”

“Well, yes...”

“Then why the fuck ya going home for? We still have plenty of supplies!”

“Because I promised I’d go to the movies with Hojo and now that we’re on vacation I don’t have excuses not to go, anymore. My grandpa literally ran out of diseases I could have. And what’s the point, anyway? Jewel hunting is going through a dry spell, everyone left… and I haven’t seen my family in weeks.”

Half of what she said didn’t make any sense to him and InuYasha positively hated the half that did.

“What if something comes up? I can’t see the damn shards like you do.” He argued.

“You jump through the well and get me.” She shrugged, as if the idea was highly unlikely. InuYasha opened his mouth to list the many, many reasons her solution was flawed. She bit him to the punch. “Listen, it’s not a big deal. I’ll be back tomorrow. I bet Miroku and Sango won’t even be here yet.”

It wasn’t fair.

In general, storming off to her era was Kagome’s way of punishing him for being a massive asshole. He got that. To tell the truth, more often than not he deserved it. But InuYasha was in his best behavior — despite feeling rightfully entitled to throw a tantrum, given the circumstances — precisely because he needed her close. He needed her to stay. Picturing Kagome hanging out with someone else instead was the worst kind of self torture. Would she change her mind if he swallowed his pride long enough to say so? Would he ever get the guts to let it out? She hadn’t invited him to come along. Was this Hojo guy really that important to her? More than InuYasha was? Trying to talk her out of it was a dangerous move. He’d put his foot in his mouth, she’d put his face on the ground. That’s what they did.

Either his expression betrayed the turmoil inside or Kagome became too good at figuring him out. Whatever it was, her smile shined, reassuring and warm.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be so quick, you won’t have time to miss me.”

“Who says I’d miss ya?” He dismissed, his indifference unconvincing even to himself.

InuYasha perceived another presence approaching. Shippo. His arrival couldn’t be more providential. Kagome had a soft spot for the brat. If anyone could get her to stay, it was him.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s just the runt.”

Like he had been announced, the kid emerged from the trees in a hurry, Kagome’s bow and quiver looking gigantic on his tiny hands.

“Kagome! InuYasha!”

“Shippo-chan! What’s going on?” She asked, as soon as the boy reached them.

“There are rumors of a jewel fragment, two villages to the west.” He explained, with the pomposity the information called for. “Kaede sent me.” His chin was up high, like the statement added a final hint of importance to the message. “Here,” continued the kit, offering Kagome her weapon in a formal manner.

She hesitated.

“Kagome, let’s go!” InuYasha was prepared to move at the sound of the word ‘jewel’, their earlier argument happily buried and forgotten.

“Wait! Don’t you think it’s strange? For days we had no leads, and now, just when we splitted up…”

“Yeah, well, so what if it’s a trap? It wouldn’t be the first.”

Coward that he was, Naraku resorted to the nastiests schemes in order to get what he wanted. His disgusting fingers laid on every happenstance that had ever caused them harm. What choice did InuYasha have, though? Ruse or not ruse, he had to check it. Regardless of anyone else’s help, it was his duty to get vengeance on the bastard — for Kikyo, for himself — and Kagome knew that.

She sighed and took the bow and arrows from the fox’s hold.

“Thank you so much, Shippo-chan! Now can you do me another favor?”

“Anything!”

“Go back to Kaede. Tell her InuYasha and I are on our way.”

“I’m not coming with you?” He whined, as confused as InuYasha. They never traveled without the child.

“That’s right. We don’t know how dangerous this may be. I need you to stay and if we don’t come back tomorrow by noon, get Miroku and Sango and send them to us. Can you do that for me?”

Shippo resolutely nodded .

“I won’t let you down, Kagome.”

“I know you won’t.”

And through the same path he had appeared he went. Kagome fixed a pleading glance at InuYasha.

“Can I at least change clothes before we g—”

“No time to waste.” He said, grabbing Kagome and her bag to leap towards west.

Kagome was whistling that same song again.

It took him an enormous amount of self restraint not to whistle along.

He was happy. So wonderfully happy. It was astonishing, the effect that tiny, bossy human girl had over his humor. The fact they were following the possible whereabouts of a lost jewel piece also played a role on his attitude swing, there was no denying that. But even if this turns out to be nothing at all, it would be a small price to pay in exchange of spending more time with her.

“Weren’t you mad about not coming home just now?”

His curiosity was genuine. Kagome had been angry since they left and InuYasha would be the person to know. She had two kind of anger. The one he could hear and the one he could feel. Even though she had been unusually silent, her frustration was palpable at first. Mercifully, it seemed to fade away the more ground they covered. Her one complaint was the soreness that too many hours on the same position inflicted upon the muscles, which was why they were both walking. As a rule, he was strictly opposite to anything that might slow them down, and the human pace was unbearable once you had a taste of demonic speed. Running free, with trees and people alike turning into a blur on each side of him, was an unparalleled sensation, amplified tenfold whenever Kagome was riding his back. He didn’t regret giving in, though. They weren’t far from their destination, after all. In addition, her comfort came to be a priority, despite him still being unaware as to when or how.

“Well… yeah, but… what can I do, right? Besides, I haven’t realized how much I missed this.”

Clueless, InuYasha searched their surroundings, unsuccessfully intending to spot what she could possibly be referring to.

“Whatcha talkin’ about?”

“This!” She spinned around, open arms and face to the sky, chasing daylight like a sunflower, the movement bringing her garment to life. “You. Me. An adventure. Don’t get me wrong, I love Shippo and the others, I’m glad they joined us. It just feels like we haven’t had as much quality time together as we used to, after they did.”

“Y-you miss that?”

She shook her head up and down with enthusiasm and a content smile fought its way across his lips.

“I know we could hang out in Kaede’s village, but it’s not the same as going out. O-on a trip, I mean.”

Although InuYasha couldn’t make out why her cheeks were suddenly burning red, he did see the logic her reasoning, and the feeling was mutual. There was a certain level of closeness only the road could provide. No curious eyes. No sly comments. No need to explain themselves. InuYasha had missed that as well.

He often played with the thought of stealing her away, of placate his selfish thirst for her undivided attention. Not once had he imagined Kagome would be as eager to go as he was to take her. Regardless, the timing wasn’t right. It never was. From the moment they met, they were tossed into a mission and there was hardly space for anything else. So he settled for whatever he could get until it was over.

“Why would you miss those trips? It ain’t like I was nice to ya back then.”

It didn’t make sense to him that she would. His memories were of a spoiled little girl, complaining about the bugs and her aching legs and the fact she hadn’t bathed in days. There was no escaping InuYasha’s share of responsibility on the issue. He could have made her life easier, had he bothered to. But at the beginning he saw Kagome as a potential threat he would eventually get rid off. How could he have guessed, after the many betrayals he had endured through the years, that his heart would be safe on her hands?

Kagome limited herself to a shrug.

“You are now.” She stated, as if it made up for his unexcusable former behavior. Her unconditional forgiveness amazed him, no matter how regularly she had shown it to him. “Also, it feels like old times.”

“It doesn’t unless you get kidnapped, somehow.”

“It happened once or twice!”

“Keh! Stop kidding yourself.”

“Shut up.”

“You shut up.”

“No, shut up. I’m sensing a shard and it’s moving away.”

Wordlessly, InuYasha returned the backpack to her and offered her his back.

They raced at full gallop, Kagome guiding their course. The forest transitioned into arid highland, where dirt, thorns and rocky surfaces took place.

“Hey, you!” Kagome yelled at the youkai emerging in their camp of vision. Their target. Over his shoulder, the startled creature sneaked a peek at them and increased speed. Growling, InuYasha matched his rhythm. “Wait up! We won’t hurt you.”

“I’m pretty sure Imma hurt him.”

“Give the jewel fragment to us peacefully and you’ll be free to go!” She went on, his snide remarks as ignored by her as her plead was by the demon. InuYasha’s patience was wearing thin. Now that the rumors turned out to be true, his focus was entirely aimed at the task at hand.

“Are those fancy arrows of yours just for show?”

Kagome let out a deep breath. Shooting was her last ressource. She preferred to sort things out with words first. It rarely worked. Still she always tried.

“I suppose we have no choice.”

The arrow hit the creature in the calf and his groan of pain reverberated through the field. Not lethal, but enough of a nuisance to make him drop the run. InuYasha closed the distance between them within seconds. Kagome climbed off him and together they inspected their opponent.

On the floor, a possum demon hissed and exhibited his fangs at them, his ugly face twisting in agony while he pulled the arrow out. A cascate of blood immediately flowed from the wound. InuYasha was not fooled by it. Being a full youkai, he would be healed soon.

“Where is it?” InuYasha asked Kagome, not daring to leave the bastard out of his sight.

“His belly.”

“Step away, you filthy half breed!”

“Excuse me?” Kagome defied, any trace of courtesy forgotten.

“That was quite the damage she did on ya, there.” InuYasha released Tessaiga from its sheath as he approached the fallen man. “Think I can top it, though.”

“Step away, I said!”

His fear was palpable. InuYasha could feel it. See it. Smell it.

Smell it.

Faster than realization, the odor filled his lungs. It burned his nostrils, his throat. He could taste the toxic substance on his tongue. It was unbearable. And gasping for air only resulted in the pungent scent flooding him further, overwhelming his senses. A defense mechanism, he thought, his vision blurring, his knees giving in. I’m going to faint. No. No, no, no, no, no. Kagome. He had to protect Kagome.

There was a cry of his name.

And then an awful lot of darkness.

InuYasha came to abruptly, uncertain and alarmed by the new reality.

In one minute, the sun was up and he was succumbing, his consciousness leaving him to drift. In the next, he was awake and crickets sang the night’s arrival.

It was tempting to think he had dreamt the whole thing. A stupid, ridiculous, crazy ass dream. However, the lingering smell left no room for argument. It happened. The scent was weaker. Fading. But was there, overpowered by a significantly nicer aroma. A familiar one, sweet on the nose and soothing to the soul. Kagome’s.

He was lying half naked in her sleeping bag.

Sitting up, InuYasha seeked for the priestess, desperate to make sure for himself she was safe and sound.

The fragile light of her modern lantern illuminated the cavern that sheltered them. At its entrance, a girl rested — her silhouette contoured by a starry sky. 

“Kagome.”

“You’re awake!”

She rushed to him, tripping over her own eagerness. Her beautiful clothes were dirty and a bit ripped at the hem. A small scratch cut her cheek, remnants of dry blood tainting her skin.

“Are you alright? What happened?”

“I’m fine!” Kagome kneeled in front of him, a gesture he appreciated. There was no peace for him without an up close inspection of her well being. “I purified the demon after you blacked out. Turns out it was a trap. Thousands of Naraku’s second-class demons came for the shard when I took him down. I tried to purify those too, but more of them kept coming and I ran out of arrows, so I casted a barrier and—”

“You casted a barrier?”

InuYasha was beyond impressed. Barriers required great power and discipline. Even from Kaede or the monk. Kagome had apparently done it all by herself. Effortlessly. On the spot.

“To be honest, I don’t know how I did it. I just… I saw you lying there and I�� anyway, the barrier purified the ones who touched it. Eventually they all died or left. How are you feeling?”

InuYasha didn’t answer the question.

“I’m sorry, Kagome, that you couldn’t rely on me.”

Guilt pulsed within him like a heartbeat. Constant and compulsory, expanding the outcomes of its work through every inch of his body.

“It’s not your fault. Your nose is too keen, of course you’d be affected the most.”

“But you got hurt!”

“In the thorns. I was careless. Don’t worry about it, it’s not even going to leave a scar.”

“It shouldn’t have even happened. I’m supposed be the one protecting you, not the other way around.”

It could have been worse. InuYasha should be grateful for that. He wasn’t. It could have been worse. And he wouldn’t be able to help her, to save her from this insignificant peril while she had already saved him in every conceivable way there was for a person to be saved.

“I’m not as helpless as I used to be, you know? I’ve grown a lot.” She had a point. InuYasha himself had told her that much, once. Kagome had faced scarier dangers than that. And she could absolutely take them. But he didn’t want her to have to. “Not to mention, it was totally worth it.”

As a proof, she exhibited a jewel fragment, glowing in the healthiest shade of pink.

“You got it!” InuYasha captured the shard, glancing at every angle of it in awe.

“Don’t act so surprised.”

Kagome went for her backpack and came back, falling on her knees again. Her hand dove in and emerged holding the glass container in which they kept the other pieces. She opened it and tilted the receiver to InuYasha, hinting for him to do the honors.

It was as if she had been waiting for him so they could do it together.

As if it was their private, sacred ritual.

He did as she wanted, mirroring her satisfied smile.

“Where’s my haori?”

“Oh! I… I put it away.” Blushing, Kagome tore her gaze from his and InuYasha followed it to a corner of the cave, where a huddle of scarlet fabric laid forgotten. “I figured you’d heal faster with that smell gone and your haori is soaked on it. Sorry.”

“D-don’t apologize, stupid. It was the right call.” To feel useful — and to occupy his brain with something other than the image of Kagome undressing him — InuYasha searched her backpack for the first aid kit, a tool from her era he was sadly too intimate with. “Now let’s take care of this cut.”

“Okay. You have to g—”

“I know what to do. I’ve seen you do it a thousand times.” Her lips parted, and InuYasha added: “Don’t act so surprised.”

He cleaned the wound with cotton, water and soap, then used a different ball of cotton to carefully apply the content of a smelly little bottle to the extension of it. Kagome hissed, but he ignored it in favor of wrapping it all up with a band-aid. To ensure it was properly stretched, he gently ran his thumb through it, allowing the touch to linger more than necessary and his stare to go from her cheek to her eyes.

Her eyes.

The most stunning maze.

Let yourself get in, you are sure to get lost.

She blinked before he could, keeping them closed and leaning into his palm, her hand lifting to cover and caress his.

It would be so easy to grip her chin. To turn her face to him. To bring her to his lips. 

So easy to steal a kiss.

Why do the easiest actions have to carry the most difficult consequences?

Clearing his throat, InuYasha transformed present into a loving memory.

“Take some rest. We leave first thing tomorrow.”

“Sounds good to me.”

On the way to claim Kagome’s prior guarding position by the entrance of the cave, InuYasha collected Tessaiga while she busied herself with getting cozy inside the sleeping bag.

“Kagome?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“InuYasha, I think we’re way past saying thank you for saving each other’s lives.”

“No, not for that. I mean, for that too, but... for coming. For staying by my side.”

“Stupid.” She mocked him, her voice lethargic as exhaustion finally caught up to her. “Where else would I be?”

A/N: this was some serious self indulgent bullshit. I regret nothing.

@inukag-week​ here is another piece of contribution. Kind of merged the Loyalty and the Instinct prompts here. Oops.

[a-student-out-of-time]

There's a good and a bad way to subvert expectations. Unfortunately what's been happening a lot lately is that many works go for twists for the sake of being twists, the Star Wars Sequels being a prime example of this. Or the later sessions of Game of Thrones. There is a fine balance between being able to surprise your audience and not being extremely predictable.

//I’ve absorbed more complaints and feelings from both those series through pop-culture osmosis than I have from watching them. I’m more of a casual observer, but I do have some feelings on both these points (which I will put under here if you’re interested.)

//tl;dr version: I think we should unbiasedly judge media on its own merits and look over what works internally within the story and what doesn’t, be willing to make our own judgements rather than jump on bandwagons and tell people what they should or shouldn’t like, and not treat opinions as straight facts.

//And also that I’m honestly tired of hearing about the sequels and GoT ^^;

//I disagree with a lot of people on the Star Wars sequels (aside from 9, fuck 9), but I’d rather not start a debate about it nor their quality overall. Only that I think people really overreacted to them  and many others jumped on the hate bandwagon when emotions were running high.

//Frankly, many of the criticisms I saw about the films felt either wildly inconsistent about what they’re upset about or what they wanted it to be (7 was criticized for being too much like old Star Wars, 8 for not being enough like old Star Wars) and others felt like they came from bad faith and I can’t take them seriously.

//And yes, the last season of Game of Thrones is trash and wrecked everyone’s storylines for the sake of being shocking, but let’s also be real: GoT was never going to have a happy ending if it wanted to stick to its “realism.” Whoever got on the Iron Throne was inevitably going to have to purge all opposition to consolidate power. That’s just how real revolutions and coups work.

//To be clear, Daenerys’ turn to evil murderousness was stupidly executed, but it wasn’t necessarily unprecedented. What I frankly dislike about fantasy in general is its tendency toward the Divine Right of Kings. That only certain bloodlines have the right to rule and you just need to put the “rightful heir” on the throne. In other words, giving absolute power to a magically omnibenevolent person will fix everything. I may be an optimistic humanist, but I know that simply doesn’t happen.

//The entire point of GoT is that DRoK is stupid and royalty in general really kinda sucks. If you go back, you see most of the lords we follow, including “good king” Eddard Stark, are either totally indifferent to the masses or are completely sadistic and torture them for funsies since the legal system doesn’t protect peasants.

//The Starks are no better than the Lannisters simply by virtue of being overall “nicer” than them. Both sides start wars that get thousands of people killed. Also, everybody loved John Snow, but he also fucking hanged a kid and I’ve never heard anyone bring that up since.

//Most importantly, Daenerys was a likable character with a sympathetic backstory, but even before the last season, she was fully embracing being a Targaryen by blood and was openly murdering people who got in her way while she was conquering territory after territory.

//Yes, a lot of the people she killed were slaveholders, but let’s be real for a moment: not everyone who participates in an evil system is evil themselves. It’s easy for us as the audience to judge them for participating in a slavocracy, but living in one comes with being told slavery is okay. That doesn’t make them evil by nature, just subject to the biases of their culture.

//Also, slavery is evil but conquering people is fine? And burning people to death for opposing you is acceptable since you’re going to be better and free everyone, or because you had a sympathetic backstory? These are the kinds of things that get villains criticized for, but is treated as a necessary evil at worst for the protagonists.

//This is protagonist-centered morality. The show is framing it in a way where you’re being drawn in to see it that way, but also telling you not to see blatant hypocrisies for what they really are. Daenerys was even called as mad as her father by Tyrion. It wasn’t well-executed, but it was going to happen regardless of how much anyone liked her.

//Violence for a good cause is still violence. If you’re going to burn people for disagreeing with you, then say that other people shouldn’t and should listen to others, that’s full-on hypocrisy. That goes for most of the characters in the show, frankly, and the message is executed well for most of it.

//That being said, don’t think this means I think the last season of GoT is good, that the Star Wars sequels are perfect, or that I hate all fantasy books ever. That’s not what I’m saying. I try to enjoy what’s good about them and point out their flaws regardless.

//What I’m saying is it’s important to, when you want to be critical of media, put your feelings and biases aside and judge the media you’re criticizing on its own merits. In my opinion, the claims that the sequels only did things to subvert expectations is unfounded. They were going their own direction, which was admittedly controversial and not what many people wanted, but just because you don’t want it to happen doesn’t mean it’s a bad twist

//Just like how a character isn’t a Mary Sue just because they’re too OP or you don’t like them. That’s not what that term means and hearing people use it like that irritates me. While I do have my complaints about characters, people use that term as if it’s a form of literary criticism that has more use than is necessary.

//If a character is OP, they’re OP. If a character is flat, they’re flat. If a character is poorly written, they’re poorly written. If a character is at the center of the universe and literally everything else exists just to amplify them and their role in things, then they’re likely a Mary Sue/Gary Stu. It’s not a label to slap on  a character you don’t like or to give a critique (or complaint) more weight.

//This is why I say DR3 Chiaki isn’t a Mary Sue, she’s just not a very well written character. All Mary Sues are poorly written characters, but not all poorly written characters are Mary Sues. She’s not terrible, but she’s not explored much and her only big roles are being the person who brings Class 77-B together and her death turns them to despair.

//While her death was tragic and brutal, we didn’t really get a good look at who she was as a person beyond just being nice and opening up to her friends. If they’d expanded on that a little more, maybe it would’ve been more effective, but the way she died felt...manipulative and shock baity in a lot of ways since it banked mostly on our familiarity with her despite it being a totally different person.

//DR3 honestly had a whole host of shocky and just plain gross scenes that I really don’t think needed to be there.

//But likewise, if a story has a plot twist that you don’t like, that doesn’t automatically make it purely shock bait or subverting expectations just for the sake of doing so. There’s a difference between “this character was evil all along and there were a lot of clues and we just didn’t want to believe it” and “this character was evil all along for reasons we’re dumping on you now.”

//Just so I don’t seem like a hypocrite, while I personally don’t like what happened with Mikan in chapter 3 of SDR2, it was an effective way of foreshadowing the truth of them being the remnants of despair. It was set up that every had lost their memories and this was a sign that getting them back wasn’t necessarily going to have a good outcome.

//And I’ll be real: I can’t take a lot of the complaints about the Sequels or GoT seriously because much of it carries overtones of racism, sexism and antisemitism. For those more into Star wars, I think you know what I mean already and that’s all I’ll say. As for GoT, I’ve seen reddit posts viscerally attacking the writers directly and even saying that we should’ve expected the ending to suck since it was “written by Jews.”

//Yeah, go figure I can’t read any of that. I know not all people who hated the show’s ending or the films are like that, but it’s impossible to deny that those attitudes are very real.

//In the end, if you want to be critical of media, the worst way to do that is to just watch a video of someone complaining about it for half an hour. Yes, those video essays can be fun, but the only way to be truly critical of media you enjoy is to examine it yourself and look closely at what’s in it and how it’s presented. That goes doubly for shows you like.

//I know not everyone will do that and all opinions are ultimately subjective, but don’t let someone else tell you that you should hate something or that something is bad just because they didn’t like how it ended. Watch or read it yourself and draw your own conclusions. Don’t just follow the crowd and also be respectful of people who don’t agree with you. You can learn a lot when you talk to someone with a different opinion.

[koganeirou]

Alright I finished Crimson Flower and after letting my thoughts marinate for a bit, I decided to do a very long write up on my thoughts. Despite the fact that I made a beeline for black eagles the moment I got the game because I had an extreme feverish passion for El at first, my thoughts on this route are unfortunately mostly negative. This is the first and only route I played so far, and I know very little about the events that transpire in the other routes.

Five thousand disclaimers that these are just my opinions that may or may not change when I play the other routes and it’s not meant to discredit folks who like Crimson Flower. Also there will be spoilers.

For starters, I think the story does a terrible job at convincing you that Edelgard’s actions are justified or even necessary. This route felt less like fighting to change the world for the better and more like a savage conquest with every chapter being El going like “we gotta kill this guy now” and I’m like “but why” and El’s like “WE JUST GOTTA”. I guess the right way to say it is that El’s route lacked emotional impact. I could not celebrate her victories with her because my only reaction was “was that really necessary” and “buddy why”. It ultimately felt like El was simply solving problems by creating more problems.

Instead of just saying “I want to uproot a societal system from its core so I have to overthrow the Church”, the story opts for El to give incredibly vague and wishy washy reasons on why the Church Is Bad. Something something, they’re not really humans and twist history??? The story forces you to do some crazy mental gymnastics to try and see El’s side of the story when everything just boils down to “Crests are Bad = Church is Bad”.

In Part 1, there was a lot of build up of the church’s obvious corruption and how they’re not to be trusted, but the build up falls flat because the story tries to make the reveal of Rhea’s beast form be the damning thing to convince the player that the church is so terrible that they have to be stopped even at the cost of thousands of lives... and well... in a franchise where almost everyone is secretly a dragon, that just did not sell me. 

We’ve been knew that Crests Are Bad but does that justify sacrificing thousands of lives to upheave the church? I dunno man..................................... the story doesn’t really put much effort to convince you that this is the Only Way and it doesn’t feel like El has put much thought into trying alternative solutions before jumping straight to murder because it was the easiest solution. Which sucks because I think exploring El’s methods and mindset would definitely make for an interesting conflict. The whole idea of if war is never justifiable, is it better to let everyone remain suffering under the status quo forever? El’s belief that nothing will change unless she takes direct action has validity to it, but the game just expects you to agree with her from the get go so El never truly has to stand firm and defend her values.

Edelgard’s decision to unify Fodlan is something I really, really side eye. She’s straight up invading sovereign lands and putting them under her own rule of her own volition. While yes, Church Is Bad, barging into someone else’s land uninvited to dictate how they rule their government and “fix their society” is ultimately something I find incredibly self righteous and arrogant. This idea of “fighting for peace” through not just instigating a war, but going on a violent conquest just seems... disingenuous to me? How does she plan on dealing with the lingering resentment from the folks whose land were conquered? She’s just replacing the crest system with an Empire who will murder anyone who stands against them which... makes her literally no different from what Rhea was.

The above point is mainly due to her whole tirade into the alliance which just felt extremely unnecessary, especially when Claude was trying to keep the alliance in a neutral stance. El’s reasoning for conquering the alliance because “some of the nobles oppose me” was really flimsy like... maybe they wouldn’t oppose you if you just left them alone instead of making them choose between handing over their independence or having their land burnt to the ground. 

Her dialogue with and about Dimitri is ridiculous because she criticizes him for being consumed by hatred and obsession and “losing his path as a king” but...... bruh, you’re STILL invading his country, so even if Dimitri wasn’t a raging murder man, he’d still oppose you because did you just expect a king to simply Hand Over His Land and not defend himself????? 

The absolute worst, worst part of CF isn’t even Edelgard herself but how the other students react to her. It feels like none of the beagles and especially the other house characters except Lysithea have any real reason to side with her, and even if they did (which wouldn’t be surprising because we see how the crests ruined so many lives), these valid reasons are never brought up and it’s overshadowed by almost everyone lamenting “is this bloodshed even necessary?” (news flash: probably not). But why the FUCK are you guys even siding with her in the first place if you're gonna regret it afterwards or don’t actually agree with her? You don’t just side with an instigator of war with half baked resolves, and the convictions of these characters aren’t even quarter baked. 

This wouldn’t be too bad if not for the fact that the beagle kids themselves also seem to have more reasons to turn on El than to fight for her. Especially when Edelgard has done nothing to ever prove herself trust worthy. Hell, CF is kicked off with Edelgard betraying everyone and revealing herself to be the Flame Emperor, which is literal admittance to her association with the slithers. Yet no one seems to put two and two together and just decides to blindly trust and follow her without second thought because... why? Who knows!!! As Sothis so eloquently puts it, they’re all boulders just rolling down whatever hill they’re on, and I could not stand how little agency and independent thought that the other characters showed. It felt like El was the driver while everyone else was just strapped into the passenger seat, mindlessly going along with the ride. No questions, no thoughts, no challenges, and to top it off, it doesn’t even feel like any of them truly believe in what they’re fighting for because they never bring up the validity of El’s ideals or the consequences of her actions. 

The beagles had the group dynamic of a wet paper bag. Lysithea is the one of the only characters who actively shows any real agency for fighting for Edelgard and firmly voices how El’s goals compare to her personal values, which is a stark difference to everyone else who has a "¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I guess this is my life now” type attitude to an infuriating degree. 

Byleth siding with El also has me doing extreme shifty eyes. I can get behind them making an emotionally charged decision to defend her from Rhea but holy crap I saved you from Rhea because I didn’t want you to die, but that doesn’t mean I’m giving you the okay to murder all your classmates!! The game expects the player to take a huge leap of faith when siding with Edelgard, thinking “she has to have a proper explanation for this” and cue.... no explanation ever, until like... five years later. El’s relationship with the beagles felt disingenuous because she actively breaches the trust of others, lies to others, hides crucial information from others (slithers, anyone?), and nobody cares. She straight up lies about the church nuking Arianrhod and it’s never addressed.

The issue with the slithers and Byleth’s dad is even worse because it is never addressed until well into the route, and it’s brought up by not El, but fucking Hubert. Not to mention El is giant jackass to Byleth after their dad died even though he died because of her damn accomplices. We’re supposed to just lie down and accept the slithers’ presence because “well they’re necessary for our plans” even though we curb stomped the entire continent by ourselves, so I dunno why we can’t just shank them now. The slithers literally did nothing aside from chill around, maybe blow up a city or two to spite El. It’s ridiculous how the organization who is directly responsible for El’s abuse and trauma has no on screen resolution when frankly, I think the slithers deserve El’s animosity far more than the church. 

Despite my extreme criticism towards El, I want to stress that I don’t hate El. In fact, I love her character a lot and I think she’s really fascinating. However, I think CF really shot her characterization in the foot because it doesn’t feel like El really grew or developed or changed. She stubbornly believed that her actions were right at the beginning and by the end of the game, she still believes her actions were right because the story doesn’t really bother to try and prove her otherwise. I just think she’s much more suited as an antagonist, and I’m excited to see her portrayal in the other routes. Sorry El, I love you, but I would never in a million years side with you.

To end this salt fest on a positive note, I will say the route had three things I enjoyed: the ending, Mercedes and Jeritza’s support, and Edelgard and Lysithea’s support. Seriously, I would not have so many complaints if the rest of the route had the same amount of emotional tension and feeling as El and Lysithea’s support. I enjoyed the ending fairly much; the final battle in the burning city was epic as hell and so was the final cutscene. The scene where El sobs in Byleth’s chest after Byleth’s heart beat returns was extremely touching to me. So because I liked the ending enough, at the very least I was able to finish the play through on a somewhat content note. Also random side note but Edelgard’s seiyuu is amazing.

Anyway my order from favourite to least favourite beagle kids are Dorothea > Edelgard > Ferdie > Bernie > Linhardt > Petra > Hubert > Caspar.

tldr: my experience with crimson flower

[svtskneecaps]

i’ve been enabled

here’s the sitch on the goddamn harry potter hogwarts mystery app game

it fucking sucks

here’s my main issues in a handy list i’ll go down later:

the gameplay

energy

art / visuals

the story

the writing

the choose your own adventure like elements (technically gameplay since there isn’t much else l m a o)

and i have receipts for most of this stuff. fun fact, i’ve been taking videos of all plot relevant events since year 1.

some context:

i’ve played up to year 3 myself. i have watched up until the very beginning of year 5 in someone’s youtube series (will bits? that was his main character [henceforth referred to as MC]’s name, however that was a year ago and it was in the background like a podcast so the details are sort of fuzzy. i have not played the game since march (it’s september, ish), but i’m loading it up as i type this just to get a feel for it

idk whether to assume my audience has or hasn’t played the game. i’ll keep my complaints as clear as possible.

i’m mainly an author so the storytelling sections are where i’m really going to pop off, since that’s something i have the most experience with and passion in, but i’ll be touching on everything else because compounded it’s all pissing me off lmao

[a couple hints at spoilers for maybe an event in year 1, and year 3, but nothing major]

let’s start with: THE GAMEPLAY

there isn’t any

literally. there’s like. zero gameplay.

you tap some highlighted figures, and then sometimes you get to trace a little shape, and sometimes you get to play rock paper scissors to fight somebody (they did manage to make duelling slightly better but it’s still not good by any standard)

sometimes you get to choose between three dialogue options, but those have barely any impact on the story or on your character. any impact they have is limited to a couple stat points, or maybe some house points, or like. some event at the end of the year. but like barely any make any real serious difference (but i’ll touch on that more later)

and then there’s the factor of stat points (and this gets kind of mathy, so feel free to skip to the bolded sentence)

for those who haven’t played the game, you have three stats (empathy, courage, and knowledge) that you can level up by taking classes, 1, 3, or 8 hours, for various rewards

back when i stopped playing, i had gained 8914 points in courage. if i recall correctly i was only about halfway to leveling up that stat. if you take an 8 hour class, you receive consistently 200 stat points, with a possibility of extra rewards that i can’t count for since those are randomly generated.

to get those 8914 points, i would have had to take 44.57 8 hour classes (while 8 hour they only take about 7, counting for the 2 hours it takes my energy to recharge to full). with 44.57 classes taking 7 hours each, to get halfway to level 24, i would have had to have done:

THIRTEEN STRAIGHT DAYS OF GRINDING, ASSUMING THAT ALL I HAD BEEN DOING WAS CHECKING ON THE HARRY POTTER HOGWARTS MYSTERY APP

and again, I WAS ONLY LIKE HALFWAY TO LEVELLING UP

I AM BARELY BEGINNING FOURTH YEAR. I AM NOT EVEN HALFWAY THROUGH THIS GAME.

i think they’ve fixed this now; it said i had 8914/1550 courage and when i got stat points it fixed itself and jumped me from level 23 to 28, so thanks for that jam city.

but it doesn’t change the fact that the grinding is fucking horrible and i’ve done my fair share of hours, and who knows what it’s going to look like when i get to a higher level again

the energy

yes, i know it’s an app game. i know they want my money. but holy FUCK the energy recharges disgustingly slowly, and every bit they expand my energy bar is an insult

“here, have another energy capacity!” they say, and then add to the amount of energy it takes to complete a task at the same time, so now shit just takes me even damn longer

it’s an insult. don’t think i didn’t fuckin notice jam city.

since it’s an app game, naturally, energy requires paying real world money or the (semi) rare in-game currency to get more if you blow through your bar. they want your money. i know they want my money, but it doesn’t make me any less disappointed by how damn blatant they’re being. app games like bakery story probably also want my money, but at least those are still fun to play.

the art / visuals

now i’m not an artist. nor am i a 3-d modeller. but if solo indie devs and 10 men teams can make video games that have to have models with a much fuller range of motion (since there’s ACTUAL GAMEPLAY and not just little cutscenes of characters moving around) and that don’t make me sick to watch, then jam city working on a HARRY POTTER GAME should be able to (jk rowling fucking sucks but her books have brought in so much goddamn money that they can afford to pay their devs enough to make the game look good; in this case i’m not entirely sure where the blame lies)

there’s like. 10 motions characters can use while in the cutscenes and talking. like 10. and i can recognize every one of them, and there is not a single motion unique to a character. the characters are something i’ll touch on later in the storytelling sections, though. just, please god give them SOMETHING even SLIGHTLY different. like make two versions of a couple of the crowd animations at LEAST, so that when people celebrate at the end of the year there’s not twenty people in the shot doing the same “pump my fists in the air in celebration” motion at the exact same time. PLEASE.

sometimes animations in story events and classes sync up too, which is. beyond distracting. like it’s completely immersion breaking and i mean please, please jam city, if you haven’t fixed that please fix it. please.

the animations that roll in flying class are fun, ONCE. when you’ve seen them eight hundred thousand times because you’re grinding up your courage stat, they get hella boring. all of the classes are like this to some extent but flying is the biggest offender since those were the longest animations. if they haven’t implemented a skip button since i last played it, they should. they fuckin should.

also the fertilizer animation in the greenhouse scenes is gross. you pick up a deformed cone of dirt with your shovel like a slice of cake and then shove it clipping through the edges of a pot, where it disappears without a trace. i hate it. jam city please make the game look good.

if you still play the game please tell me it looks better; i’ll be playing through a couple things after i post this but it’s hphm. it’s gonna take me a goddamn long time to hit all the points and confirm whether what i complained about has been fixed or not

also also, wearing dresses is so distracting, especially while dueling. the way the dress flexes around your legs is like you’re wearing clothing made from jello and when my character does the idle animation her hands clip through her skirt, and there’s all kids of glitches with hair where it clips through outfits (and why in the fuck do the necklaces float a full foot from the character’s body)

the storytelling

alright there’s a lot to cover so strap in

i’m not mad about the story having some of the same beats as harry potter. whatever, right? if it worked, it worked. having a big climax at the end of the year just works well for storytelling. having a school bully antagonist also works well for easy storytelling (it’s kinda cheap, but whatever works, right?) it’s what you DO with the archetypes you use that makes or breaks your story

jam city broke it

i don’t know how to organize my thoughts so here’s a bulleted list

it is very clearly obvious they wrote this as they went along (ex. a previously unseen character pops up in year 3 and was supposedly the best friend of your greatest enemy in previous years) and didn’t think to fix the plot holes

there’s too many goddamn characters (i love them, but with a big cast comes a whole host of problems [I WRITE FOR A KPOP GROUP WITH 13 MEMBERS, I HAVE A LOT OF EXPERIENCE WITH THAT], and we’ll get there)

there’s too much goddamn filler for the sake of forcing us to spend time and in-game energy (yes i KNOW it’s an app game and they want our money but THEY COULD BE A LITTLE MORE SUBTLE ABOUT IT)

what honestly pisses me off the most about it is that IT COULD BE GOOD

IF THE STORY WERE GOOD, I WOULD FUCKIN IGNORE ALL OF THAT OTHER SHIT

but it’s not, and here’s the biggest gripe i have:

none of the choices you make matter. none of them. to the point where it’s immersion breaking at BEST

for example, while my MC is a hufflepuff, i know a lot of people play in slytherin. scenes where snape gets upset with your character and takes away house points no longer make sense for a slytherin MC, because snape would be infinitely more likely to give you three years of nightly detentions, or pitch you off the astronomy tower, than he would be to take house points from slytherin

honestly, they should have waited. if they wanted to put choose your own adventure elements into the game, they should have planned out every single one of those story arcs in detail, and THEN released the game. they could leave some of the more basic choices in and those choices only mattering for short term effects wouldn’t irk me as much as it does right now because THERE WOULD BE CHOICES THAT MADE A DIFFERENCE.

your very first choice over how you felt about your brother’s disappearance only matters for what wand you get (which i immediately forgot which really says something about the impact of that choice :)))) ). no matter what you pick, you still end up chasing after him for the rest of the game, so who cares?

story beats don’t land different based on your house. you could absolutely play it that merula hates you regardless of your house, that’s fine. just remember that if your MC is slytherin and lives in the female dorms, she probably shares a room with merula. which makes things fucky for all kinds of reasons, none of which jam city addresses in the current game, as far as i’m aware

also, there’s the deal with rowan

rowan is a character that goes into your mc’s chosen house no matter what (and as rowan changes pronouns with your player, i’ll be using “they” [or “she” as my player is a she and that’s what i’m used to; i’ll try to refrain but i might slip up occasionally] ). as far as i can tell, rowan’s personality remains the same no matter what house you’re in. they don’t try to play up the traits that match the house, rowan is just usually a sweet bookworm. why would the hat have put them in gryffindor? rowan khanna for me has never seemed to display any gryffindorish traits; or at the very least, no traits that should be prioritized over, say, the ravenclaw traits they have VERY STRONGLY (since rowan fills a sort of hermione role; rowan knows things about things and is your go to for research)

can we just put rowan in ravenclaw? sure, it would make it hard for fans in different houses to communicate between each other about the story for a time since certain sequences of events would play out differently, but here’s the thing:

if events play out differently based on your choices, people will want to play your game multiple times to get every ending

that’s the fun of a choose your own adventure game. if events play out distinctly differently if you’re a hufflepuff or a ravenclaw or a slytherin or a gryffindor, then people will want to play through the game four times at LEAST, once for each house, to get all the fun pieces of story (WHICH MEANS, they’ll be spending more and more time and using more and more energy, so you can make the same amount of money off people buying energy and watching the ads and maybe MORE while being able to cut out some of the more shitty pieces of filler)

in the current version, your house is just, what color are your robes and who is your prefect. i haven’t watched anyone who wasn’t a hufflepuff, but i’m sure that certain scenes and conflicts play out the exact same no matter what house you’re in

as an example, your house should affect how the duelling confrontation in year one should have gone. snape and flitwick should have different dialogue based on whether you’re a slytherin, or a ravenclaw, or a gryffindor, or a hufflepuff. snape fucking hates gryffindors, so he should be far less lenient against gryffindors, and on the flip side he should be battling between himself with how strict to be if you’re a slytherin; maybe he hates your guts because of a grudge against your brother, but you’re still in his house and we all know snape plays favorites. flitwick should be more disappointed if you’re a ravenclaw, because that’s his house and he had higher expectations for you. neither of them have many ties to hufflepuff that would skew the confrontation in a drastic direction, but had this been the first version of the game, then the confrontation that plays out in the current version we have would work fine for hufflepuff; you’re one of flitwick’s favorite charms students and he taught you this skill, and he’s disappointed to see you use it in this way, but not nearly as much as if you were one of his own

AND NOW PEOPLE WANT TO PLAY THE GAME MULTIPLE TIMES TO GET ALL THE DIALOGUE, WHICH MEANS MORE TIME, MORE ENERGY, AND MORE MONEY, JAM CITY, ARE YOU HEARING THIS??? MORE MONEY!!!!! IT’S A WIN WIN FOR EVERYONE

while we’re at it, change jacob to match his house. if you’re still gonna make him have the same house as the MC, make him match it. from how all the characters describe him that bitch is as slytherin as they come, if you’re gonna make him a hufflepuff with me then give him a clear, hufflepuff motive god damnit

finally,

the characters

there’s too many.

the problem with a big cast is no one gets enough screen time and some characters end up getting shunted to the side. that’s just what happens. you HAVE to zero in on four or five side friends and let the rest of them slip to the side. looking at my friends menu there are 17 characters you can befriend, not including hagrid, the quidditch crew, dobby, talbott, and chiara (since those are, as far as i know, unlocked via side quests, which are... fine. i don’t have any particular gripes about the side quests except for the thing with lupin being twice the size of tonks which, if you’ve read the seventh book i don’t need to explain how weird that is to you)

and BECAUSE there are so many, a lot of them have to be defined by one trait. ben is a coward, rowan’s clever and booksmart, penny has her hand on the school’s pulse and makes potions, liz likes creatures, charlie fuckin loves dragons, tonks likes pranks (seriously that’s her whole personality), andre likes clothes, barnaby is a dumb jock that likes creatures

like, traits are fun. but if that’s ALL THEY HAVE, that’s when things get a little fucky

how many of these characters have dimensions? i’m in year 4 chapter 4. the first screen recording of the game i took was on december 5 of 2019, and assuming i played about a minimum of 8 hours a day (”““played”““) until the final screen recording [may 20, 2020] before i dropped the game for about six months (i know for certain it was more than that, since i had some kind of activity going on at just about all times for at least a month of that, but i’ll take the generous estimate), at bare minimum that makes 1344 hours i spent playing this game, or about 56 days (keep in mind, this is a LOW estimate)

in those 56 days of gameplay, i don’t know ANYTHING about the characters other than their utility in my quest. i don’t know penny’s favorite color or even her favorite potion to brew, or how and why she started and when [there’s a reveal in third year that i watched someone play through, but i don’t know if i ever played through it myself; i don’t have any screen recordings of the event]. i don’t know anything about ben or his family aside from the fact that he’s muggleborn. i know some basic facts about barnaby’s family, and that he’s tough and likes creatures. rowan grew up on a tree farm and i have a vague recollection of her mentioning siblings. do we know anything about them?? do i know anything about how the characters interact with each other?? are barnaby and liz friends? they both like creatures. do they talk to charlie?? do ben and penny hang out while we’re not there? are ben and jae friends?? are jae and charlie??? DO THESE CHARACTERS EXIST WHEN THEY AREN’T NEEDED FOR THE CURSED VAULTS???

why in the fuck don’t i know these characters?? why don’t we know anything about tonks other than her affinity for pranking?? there’s a sharp bias in who the writer’s favorites are (they like the characters with angsty pasts they can twist around; what do we know about ben aside from his blood status? and he’s been around since first year; he’s the second friend you unlock. i know more about barnaby and i’ve known him for a much shorter time)

if you separate the routes, you get a chance to zero in on certain characters and actually develop them. if you’re a gryffindor, you befriend ben, charlie, and jae much more quickly and they make up the closest of your friends, along with rowan, if jam city is determined to keep their tutorial character constant across all plotlines (i still think rowan should be solely a ravenclaw, but i’ll allow rowan’s house to change so long as their personality shifts to emphasize certain qualities in order to match the change in house; your house should not just determine the color your robes are)

if you’re in slytherin, maybe you befriend barnaby in place of ben in the original game, or maybe there’s an arc where you clash heads with merula (who can still be an enemy even if you’re both in slytherin; merula doesn’t like competition and the MC is exactly that) and the rest of the slytherins in your year find themselves caught in the middle; maybe there’s an arc where your MC finds themself totally alone without allies due to the conflict between them and merula (might i suggest year two, while coming up on the climax of the year?)

hufflepuffs get to focus on tonks and penny much closer. ben can also be in this plotline, but he shouldn’t take center stage (characters should cross over plotlines, but only take center stage in one, aside from perhaps rowan if rowan remains constant). maybe chiara can get implemented into the main plotline to fill out the roster, and if not, diego caplan can get implemented earlier (i haven’t met him yet and know nothing about his character)

and ravenclaws get the ravenclaw characters BUT YOU GET THE POINT, i don’t want to bore anyone by repeating myself; this is long enough as is

what i’m saying is, these characters all have a different enough base that each route will be different just by focusing on different characters; ben and jae will respond to a situation much differently than penny and tonks might, which would ALREADY shake up the storyline of each house based on which house you choose in the beginning, and then characters overlap plotlines so you could leave hints in each route to the other characters’ unique backstories and motivations that leaves the player wanting to get to know the rest of your WELL DEVELOPED CAST (((MAKE SURE THEY’RE WELL DEVELOPED OR THIS WILL NOT WORK)))

WHAT I’M SAYING IS, THIS GAME COULD HAVE BEEN SO GOOD

if they put more effort into the story then maybe i would have gunned through the hufflepuff route so quickly and then restarted to go through all the rest of them. if you want people playing your game for longer then THAT is the way to go

yes, it will take time. yes, it will take effort. but you know what?

IT’LL ALSO MAKE YOU A FUCKTON OF MONEY FROM PLAYERS PLAYING EACH ROUTE IN FULL AND THEN PLAYING THEIR FAVORITE ROUTES AGAIN SO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR

anyway, what i’m saying is, i hate this game so much because of the potential it had to succeed, and the potential it had to be a really good game. even if they didn’t change the gameplay much, even if they didn’t change the models, i could get past ALL OF THAT if the story was interesting

so uh. jam city, if you’re reading this, please. i will let you take away all of my days of playing this. i will let you render all of my progress obsolete and send me plummeting back into my first year at hogwarts to go through the game again, if you JUST, MAKE, MULTIPLE, ROUTES!!! MAKE MY CHOICES MATTER DAMN YOU!!!!!!!!

i’m also willing to let you use the ideas i posited here without credit or payment. because that sounds like a legal hassle and i am far too lazy to deal with that sort of thing, i just want to play a good game. please. please give me a good game to play.

also, make energy take 3 minutes to recharge. please.

so uh

TL;DR : i hate this game. and i wish i didn’t hate this game.

[daily-incineroar]

Why are people throwing a damn fit that gamefreak isn’t going to make new models and new animations for every single fucking Pokémon there’s like a thousand that’s too damn many. Just play the game with the Pokémon that are intended to be there you entitled bastards

Sorry but I disagree? People are allowed to complain about the media they consume or that’s just blind consumerist culture. And, I find that their complaints are entirely valid? Sure, some may be getting a bit too mad about it but these people really do have strong feelings about Pokemon! Many people get very attached to these mons they have cared about and trained for literal YEARS. Not gaining some form of attachment to Pokemon is entirely unexpected. Calling these fans entitled bastards is wrong. You are allowed to criticize and complain media.

For a game as complete as what Sword and Shield is looking to be, being unable to bring these Pokemon with you to the next thing just plain sucks. Its a big damper on the overall quality and will affect whether people will want the game or not. That’s not even including the emotional side and how much it would suck to not bring your favorite pokemon that you love with you to your next journey. People just love Pokemon.

Also, keep in mind. Pokemon is one of the BIGGEST franchises out there, like I can’t stress enough how much money Pokemon earns. Pokemon earns a LOT and I’m fairly certain the switch can also handle something like this? It’s the same system that has Breath of the Wild and now The Witcher 3 both very complex games! It’s hard, yes but it Is entirely doable. Not expecting more out of Gamefreak is excusing incompetence. 

If you’re concerned about overworking the staff, simple answer, Delay the game. I’m sure many don’t mind, as long as in the end, people get to see the rest of our Pokemon friends.

I know I might be delving too much into this but that just shows you how much people can care about Pokemon. Bringing them to the next game each generation is just genuinely so cool and feels so special despite people knowing these “mons” are no more than pixels on a screen. It’s just something that happens and is part of the charm of the franchise. Pokemon just is such a force in many people’s lives and is a truly personal and wholesome game. If, worst case scenario, Gamefreak doesn’t realize that and doesn’t fix this. People will stay rightfully mad.

In the end, I’m looking at the positive. They seriously can’t do this for the entire life of Sword and Shield and I’m fully expecting some sort of of update, patch, or delay. Whatever it takes. Give me my Swampert.

tldr: People get attached to Pokemon, Criticizing gamefreak and media you consume is allowed and Gamefreak and Nintendo are multimillion dollar companies that definitely have the assets to do such a thing. Pokemon is a HUGE franchise. Not being able to bring pokemon over sucks because we love pokemon and just should be fixed, delay or whatevr

[armageddon-generation]

Making an arc out of series 11 (and other fixes)

I DON’T MEAN TO HATE - I genuinely really liked this TARDIS team, Jodie has completely won me over and the episodes not written by Chibnall were great - but this series does have several frustrating Issues.

One recurring problem I see people having is that the finale didn't feel climactic because there was little build up.

A few ways to fix this :

The Woman Who Fell to Earth

Just improve Tim Shaw - alter his design so he’s not just a black robot-man - take the tooth idea and do something like the Sycorax?

Change the ball of electricity into an actual creature - then establish Tim Shaw’s abusive relationship with it, taking out his viciousness on this helpless slave, because he’s a coward

This mster/beasty relationship would give Tim more character and make him easier to hate

It also establishes the running theme of the Stenza altering/controlling other creatures - it gives them a distinctive ‘gimmick’ like Dalek extermination and Cyberman conversion, which we can expand on in The Ghost Monument, The Tsuranga Conundrum and The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos

The Ghost Monument

Establish the threat of the Stenza - ravaged worlds better (show us the flesh eating water instead of telling us about it and have more time with the Remnants instead of those boring robots)

Do this by giving Desolation (which is out of orbit) short, irregular days (5 hours, 3 hours) so the threat of the Remnants is always there - build tension and character at day (the “Mum told me to jump” speech) and have scary chase sequences during the two night sections

The Stenza using Desolation to create weapons of mass destruction reminds the Doctor of the Time Lords' tactics in the Time War, (that's why she's so interested in the planet) and establish that Yaz wants to know what happened to the Doctor's people/family

One of the racers should've had their planet stolen, not just enslaved, to establish the mystery of the planets Tim Shaw is stealing

Show their desperation by having the racers actually compete and fight with each other, with Team TARDIS stuck in the middle. Both characters believe they deserve the prize because they've suffered and lost more.

Yaz separates them, directly paralleling her intro scene in episode 1 - from parking disputes to this.

GIVE 13 HER BIG MOMENT because I waited until literally the last line of the series to understand where she's coming from. 13 is the joyous explorer, she doesn't have time for wallowing in angst, there's too much universe out there to see.

Something like: "It's not about what you've lost, that doesn't make you better than him! All that matters now is what's ahead. What are you going to do if you win, where will it take you? Have you even thought about it? Because maybe, just maybe, if you stopped pitying yourself you could make something good from this. Yes, you're family is gone and I'm sorry. But just because they're dead doesn't mean your life should stop too. Move forward."

This helps Chibnall's 'Fresh Start' mandate because it establishes 13 as completely different from RTD and Moffat's Doctors (especially 10 and 12) who felt a sense of superiority because of their past pain. It also ties into Ryan and Graham letting go of Grace.

The TARDIS went to Desolation in the first place because it wanted to help the planet (remember she has personality) - 13 realises this once they reunite.

We've previously established the TARDIS can change the weather, and it's had thousands of years on Desolation to prepare calculations etc, so have a sequence at the end where they show off to the new conpanions and terraform the planet, reversing the Stenza's damage

Post - credits scene / stinger - while the companions explore the TARDIS, show 13 viewing the footage the TARDIS collected over thousands of years of the Stenza violating the planet - she doesn't look happy, but then Yaz calls her for a tour and she puts on the bright smile again.

Yaz

I think Team TARDIS in series 11 was meant to be split between the familial relationship between Ryan and Graham, with the standard swept-off-her-feet almost-romance between the Doctor and Yaz in the background. They didn't focus on Thasmin much because I think Chibnall assumed 'oh, we've seen this before'

SHOW THE GROWTH OF YAZ AND THE DOCTOR'S RELATIONSHIP. IT SHOULDN'T BE ROMANTIC (YET) BUT JUSTIFY THEIR DEVOTION TO EACH OTHER

Because Yaz is a police officer have her 'investigate' the Doctor's past - especially her family, as that's an important part of her character and theme in the series as a whole. Since Chibnall loves Classic they could mention Susan

This makes 13 telling Yaz about her Granny in It Takes You Away an important milestone in their relationship

Yaz to Ryan about the Doctor's family:

Thirteen's character

People complaining Jodie isn't unique enough kind of have a point, but the seeds are there:

I like the idea of 13 being easily distracted and careless ("I'm almost going to miss you." / "Hi Yaz, forgot you were there."). Her being slow to trust contrasts nicely with Jodie's infectious enthusiasm. Have Yaz's role be keeping 13 focused, grounded and on-track when she needs to be.

Also! I've seen the idea thrown around 13 is only acting all bright and chipper. It'd be really interesting if she prioritises Team TARDIS' emotional wellbeing over her own

This way we have parallel arcs - Yaz gets the Doctor to open up as Ryan gets closer to Graham

13 and her Sonic

13 is meant to be a tinkerer, but we don’t see much evidence of this outside building the Sonic

So she wears a tool belt

The belt is TARDIS-like (bigger on the inside) and 13 pulls things out of it like Mary Poppins’ carpet bag

13 pulls bits of scrap out of the belt and cobbles things together when she’s excited / nervous / talking (pipe cleaner helicopters! Catapults! Wind-up mice!)

This distinguishes her from 11, who also did a lot of hand-flapping and is already superficially similar personality-wise

More floofy/fly-away haired 13! It makes her seem more energetic, constantly in motion, which really suits her.

The popular headcanon is that the Sonic works randomly (one episode it can do things, the next it can’t) because over the years the Doctor has added so many features they’ve overloaded it. So now she’s got a new Sonic, 13 is constantly fiddling with it/adding new features

Address the NuWho Doctors’ over-reliance on the Sonic - 13 keeps expecting the Sonic to do things but because it’s new hardware, it can’t, and she has to solve problems on her own

A running gag where 13 goes ‘watch this, gang’ and the Sonic does something completely opposite what she wanted and now they have to improvise

In the finale the Sonic finally works properly and 13 uses it to beat Tim Shaw

Occasionally (in an episode opening) 13 makes weird machines without knowing what the fuck they do:

13: [holding up a small device] Does this look familiar? Do you know what it is? Neither do I. I made it last night in my sleep. Apparently I used Gindrogac. Highly unstable.

Yaz: Doctor…

13 : I put at button on it. Yes. I want to press it, but I’m not sure what will happen if I do.

Ryan: [runs for cover]

13 and Graham

In Series 11, 13 always seemed annoyed by Graham (“Don’t kill the vibe”) and never seemed to grow past it.

Suggest 13 is living vicariously by helping Graham reconnect with Ryan – the Doctor first started travelling in the TARDIS to connect with their grandchild, so this is 13 coming full-circle

13 notices how good and Granddad Graham is trying to be for Ryan, and as he grows braver she comes to really respect him.

Graham becomes her confidant – he’s the only one 13 shows her age to, and she helps Graham begin again: They talk about how the Doctor has had to reinvent and regenerate themselves again and again because the universe needs them – much as Ryan needs Graham. 13 has lots of experience moving past loss, and they support each other through the pressure of being responsible (for Ryan and Yaz respectively)

Ryan

Have the Doctor and Ryan's relationship develop - in The Woman Who Fell to Earth they suggested 13 would take a nurturing parental role for him ("That's the kind of thing Grace would've said") but it's not really built on. All the pieces are there (him being immature and using weapons in the beginning)

Ryan and 13 have a sibling-like relationship - she teaches him about life and the universe - have 13′s use of slang (skillz with a z) come from Ryan having fun teaching slang to a socially inept alien

also maybe a reccuring joke about Ryan going for a fist-bump and 13 patting his fist, that pays off by the finale

Does anyone remember Ryan and Yaz went to Primary school together? Capitalise on that. When Ryan talks about how his Dad left him in Tsuranga and It Takes You Away, make it explicit that she understands because she saw Ryan go through it as a kid, and remembers what it did to him emotionally

A common complaint about Ryan is that he rarely actually does anything - he just stands there and says "they're gone!" or "it's a spaceship!". So have this be part of his character. In the early episodes have Yaz be the most active companion (allowing her to develop!), with Ryan (nervous about his dyspraxia) in the background, and have him become more and more active and competent as the series goes on.

Episode Order

For this to work I suggest shuffling the episodes - 1, 2, 8, 4, 6, 5, 7, 3, 9, 10

10 60-minute episodes to fit the new stuff in and give the large cast more room. The Woman Who Fell to Earth (60 minutes) was Chibnall's best script.

This way series 11 gets the same screen time as the 12 episode Capaldi series

Instead of 2 trailers for the next episode (one pre and one post credits) insert a post-credits stinger hinting at arcy things

The Witchfinders (We’re Going on a Witch-Hunt)

Swap Rosa and The Witchfinders around. We can get the 'female discrimination' thing out of the way faster (it felt weird they didn't explicitly address it until episode 8). Yaz and 13 can bond over their shared oppression (this is the first time the Doctor realises what history is like for her female companions - for the first time, they are of equal status and must work as a team).

Also have Yaz, the POLICE OFFICER, be personally offended by the miscarriage of Justice in the Witch Trials, and defend the victims - relate it to her experience on the job (maybe touch on domestic abuse?) instead of the cliche bullying story

The villains being escaped convicts from a prison also links to Yaz's character and job - contrast her applying police protocol to the Morax (she never had a case this big at home!) with 13's "fuck it, time to wave the glowy science stick' attitude - Yaz forces 13 to be disciplined, 13 forces Yaz to think outside the box and bend the rules

Arachnids in the UK (Spiders in Sheffield)

Still episode 4 - this needs a complete rewrite IMO, but for starters make the Trump parallel less explicit and cringey

Address Yaz has left her job as a police officer behind - she goes into work (with 13 as her ‘consultant’) and learns about people disappearing - we meet the spider expert at the Police Station, (because Yaz’s  neighbour being the only victim AND working in that spider lab was too big a coincidence) 

The expert is being ignored because the disappearances are higher priority, so low-ranking Yaz gets stuck with her

The spiders have spread all over Sheffield, not just the one flat and all around Yaz’s building

Have Ryan, Yaz and the Doctor go to meet Yaz’s mum at the hotel while Graham is mourning Grace in their nearby flat

When the spreading spiders reach Yaz’s family, Graham goes to help them, showing how brave 13 has helped him become.

We now have two tension-filled scenarios:

A home invasion subplot where Graham helps Yaz’s family keep the spiders out of their flat. Use this to flesh out and make her sister and Dad likeable - Graham comforts them when they’re scared, calling back to Grace's last line "promise you won't be scared without me" - 13 has helped him!

13 and Co being chased around the hotel (PROPERLY chased - the spiders use webs to cut off corridors and herd them around like rats in a maze)

YAZ GETS TAKEN BY THE SPIDERS - this is the moment 13 realises how attached she is to her new friends. She and Mrs Kahn work together to go and save Yaz from the Spiders’ nest (eliminating that annoying Jackie Tyler “you’re endangering my kid” trope) while Ryan uses his music to draw the spiders away

13 gets to see Mrs Kahn’s maternal affection and we see her desire for family. Ryan’s music draws the Spiders back and saves Graham and Yaz’s family

When Ryan and Graham reunite it’s very emotional - Ryan saved Graham’s life - ‘looking out for each other’

Finally have the Doctor save the Spiders by using the TARDIS as an Ark, instead of leaving them to die - call back to Planet of the Spiders and drop them off there

Since she's at home, once they’ve saved everyone have Yaz do girly things with the Doctor (because they haven't been able to rest since episode 1) - maybe nail painting? Only 13 starts using the varnish as finger paint. Also! I like the idea of them choosing 13's earring together bc 13 has no clue about jewelry

Demons of the Punjab

This should be episode 5, because it's connected to 4 by Yaz's family and together they provide a nice rounding-off of the half of the series more focused on her

The Thijarians have had their planet stolen, not just destroyed (it would still kill everyone)

That way when we see the hologram of what happened to their planet we establish the threat of what will happen to the Earth if Tim Shaw wins in the finale

(the powder they have can still be the stuff left over afterwards)

Also it's weird that Yaz goes to see her Grandmother, who she discovers remarried, and Ryan doesn't react at all.

Ryan has nothing to do in this episode, and because we're putting Punjab earlier in the series, Grace's loss is fresher. Give him a moral dilemma: He wants to go back and see her when she was young (and with her first husband - implicitly rejecting Graham) like Yaz is seeing her Gran

After seeing what happens to Yaz's family, and seeing Graham's caring reaction to Prem, he follows 13's advice and gives up on seeing Grace again - he's content with Graham

He bonds with Yaz over the episode and warns her not to take family for granted. At the end Yaz takes him to meet her Gran in the present day ("I was lucky enough to know yours")

The Tsuranga Conundrum (The Good Doctors)

Have the medical ship be a war ambulance helping victims of the Stenza's conquest

The general on board has fought the Stenza

Cut her brother and the 2nd nurse, they're unnecessary - have the ship be understaffed because of the strain the Stenza are putting on the medical service, give the engineering role to 13

The asteroid field they have to fly through (which we should ACTUALLY SEE) is not just an asteroid field but the wreckage left behind by another missing planet.

Replace the P'ting. It may be cute but the vast majority of people thought it was ridiculous. Instead have it be a Stenza weapon left over as the ship is flying through an old battleground - it can still be small and destroy the ship from the inside out, but its design can be more threatening and it can be more sympathetic (it was experimented on/created to kill, it isn't evil)

13 tries to pilot the ship first but can't because she's wounded. She has to rely on Team TARDIS and delegate the usual ‘Doctor’ roles. She faces off against the tactical P’ting, trying to fix the ship as fast as it disassembles it, while Yaz runs around trying to catch the thing, and Ryan and Graham take care of the passengers

The sonic STAYS BROKEN so 13 has to do this all by hand

Once 13 is told the Stenza are still out there hurting people, introduce a subplot over the next 3 episodes before the finale where she's sneaking off at night to go and help fight them (without the others knowing, because they're too emotionally biased)

The next episodes (Kerblam!, Rosa) gradually shift the focus onto Ryan's growth as he becomes more active

It Takes You Away

Add 13 and Graham - now close friends - talking about grandkids, and put more emphasis on 13′s reaction to the abandoned girl

This sets up the Solitract turning into Susan, the Doctor’s granddaughter, instead of the frog at the end

You don’t require previous NuWho knowledge to know about Susan - she has barely been mentioned.

Have her be played by the actress from An Adventure in Space and Time, like David Bradley as the First Doctor 

This way we directly address the theme of grandchildren and family

The Solitract is a link to 13's childhood and family. It's also another omnipotent consciousness she can relate to (think 9 and Bad Wolf - "That's what I feel, all the time!"). Finding that and immediately letting it go must be traumatising

Have a quick scene of Yaz catching 13 crying, but she quickly covers up because Graham just saw Grace and he's distraught

Finale (Battle Phantoms)

When they arrive on the battlefield 13 accidentally reveals she's been helping fight the Stenza offscreen (which is how she knows about this battle - one of the ones she was too late for)

This lie infuriates Graham - she's been blocking his revenge for ages

BIG EMOTIONAL MOMENT

13: Maybe I am a liar, and I promised I wouldn't be, but that's because I know what it's like, Graham. To want to hurt the people who hurt you. How that anger burns like fire, like a supernova. And it took me so long to get over it, so long to move on. Whole lifetimes wasted hurting and hating. I didn't want that to happen to you. No one deserves to be broken twice.

This gives Graham a legitimate reason to go against 13 without announcing his intention to kill Tim Shaw like an idiot. It also plays up 13's hypocrisy, which was touched on in the original script

What was the point of 9 distress calls if they're all in the same place?? Use this pportunity to split team TARDIS up and showcase how they've grown as individuals before bringing them back together (Ryan and Graham, Yaz and 13) for the 3rd Act

Graham being on his own drives up the tension over whether he'll kill Tim Shaw - Ryan gets there just in time

Explicitly call back to the moment in The Ghost Monument when Ryan used a gun - highlight how far he's come because of 13, talking Graham down

Get rid of the robots, because they weren't in The Ghost Monument now, and they turned the intimate story into an action movie.

Over the series we've established the Stenza genetically engineer other creatures into weapons (the Remnants, the P'ting, the cable ball in The Woman Who Fell to Earth). Replace the robots with scary leftovers from the Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos (because that title was irrelevant to the original episode) - Think the Hand Mines from The Magician's Apprentice

Have each of the missing planets throughout the series be named - that way when we discover the stolen planets in the finale there is emotional impact because their being stolen has caused so much suffering.

This way not only are the Stenza a lot more threatening because they are present throughout the series, there is more build up to seeing Tim Shaw again

Also, the subplot about returning the planets is more emotionally impactful - the Doctor is retroactively providing closure to lots of the side characters from the series

Finally the threat to Earth is much greater - the companions have seen what losing your planet does to a person emotionally, and they fear that

WHEN THE EARTH IS THREATENED CALL BACK TO YAZ'S FAMILY SO WE FEEL SOMETHING

Also the continuing thread of missing /lost planets could link to Galifrey, raising 13's emotional stakes

Multiple people have complained the plot thread about the planet attacking you psychically and erasing your memories went nowhere - when 13 and Yaz take those devices off they get slight headaches

Instead have the planet actually attack them - 13 and Yaz have to remind each other of their memories and their families - exposing Yaz to a rare snapshot of the Doctor’s lonely childhood on Galifrey

This gives Jodie the opportunity to do some SERIOUS DRAMATIC ACTING, and finally opening up about Galifrey to the whole TARDIS team at the end gives an emotional climax to her relationship with them, as well as the relationship between Ryan and Graham

The Fam line is cute, but we need ACTION to evidence this growth - this way throughout the series we’ve established how much family means to 13, how much she wants that, and Yaz saying “I’ve always liked fam” means so much because it means she understands 13 as a person

Resolution

Change how the Dalek got split.

Medieval humans killing a Dalek on their own is ridiculous and makes itr less threatening. Instead, have the Dalek be a scout from the Time War, looking to attack Earth to distract the War Doctor. The Doctor, furious, rushes over and helps the human armies divide it, to stop the Time War spreading to his second home.

We’re told this legend by the archaeologists, positioning the Doctor as a vengeful wizard. We can get a flashback with the War Doctor as a dark silhouette on a hill or something.

This makes the “it’s personal” stuff even truer

Use the archaeologists and dig site to expand on the Dalek race’s impact on humanity, because they’ve visited Earth dozens of times. I’m thinking wall paintings depicting the Dalek Shell as a Divine war chariot, and the mutant as a Cthulhu-like God

This way we’re really throwing Team TARDIS in the deep end - they are immediately aware of the number of times the Doctor has fought the Daleks, which is completely different to the rest of series 11, where 13 was encountering everything for the first time

Change the junkyard Dalek shell.

The Scout goes to a storage facility where pieces of its shell are stored. Now this place is owned by the modern incarnation of the cult we’ve set up who worshipped the Dalek in ancient times (their logo is the same symbol found on the wall paintings)

Instead of killing the gay (AGAIN), have the company staff welcome and exult the Dalek - only for it to turn around and kill them all, establishing its racial superiority complex. (This is something Chibnall glossed over - his Dalek wanted to conquer like anyone else, not exterminate)

The company has collected the remains of dozens of different Dalek models from invasions across the show’s history (we still have the parallel to 13 making her Screwdriver)

The Dalek reassembles itself not using Earth metal, but into a Frankenstein’s monster welded together from different Dalek designs (classic 60s, Imperial, Special Weapons, Time War, Supreme, Progenitor)

When the Dalek and 13 face each other this one Scout now represents the entire Dalek race, every type the Doctor has ever fought. The idea of it stitching itself together is also a nice parallel to Regeneration

Destroy the Dalek by separating all the different sections - use Ryan’s dad’s technical skills but don’t have all of Team TARDIS rush the Dalek without getting killed - them pushing it around immediately removed any threat.

Emotional Impact

Seeing the remains of all the Daleks the Doctor has killed at the storage facility and hearing the stories of the War Doctor makes Team TARDIS reconsider 13

Police officer Yaz realises she is devoted to a murderer, and considers whether she wants to get closer to such a person

To make the Dalek more impactful to both Team TARDIS and the new audience that has only watched Series 11, when Graham asks why it’s so dangerous have 13 say something along the lines of “the Daleks are my Stenza”

Graham realises why 13 stopped him killing Tim Shaw in series 11, and (considering his Dad must’ve fought in WW2) gains a new level of respect for her

Don’t have Ryan immediately forgive his Dad and declare that he loves him - set up that he’s willing to give his Dad a second chance as an arc for series 12 - the push and pull between Graham and Ryan reconnecting with his Dad

The Scout is trying to complete its original mission, bringing the Tile War to Earth - 13 has to  literally defend her freinds from the ghost of the War and finally let go of her violent past (personified by the War Doctor). She’s also letting go of the deified, Messiah-like version of herself (represented by the wall paintings of the Doctor’s battle with the Dalek) that RTD and Moffat loved

13’s arc is worrying learning about the Daleks and their toxic relationship will change the way her friends look at her, because she’s been trying to protect them from this side of her life (it’s revealed she’s been deliberately avoiding places she’s been before because she’s looking for a fresh start)

By now Ryan and Graham are getting along fine, they’ve avenged Grace’s murder and Ryan is now talking to his Dad. 13 worries everyone has outgrown her, and they’ll leave

Have a scene at the end where Yaz comforts 13 and assures her she won’t abandon her - 13 doesn’t need to save their lives for them to want to travel with her - it’s their job to save her. They are here because they care about her. 

This way we get a new emotional climax of 13′s emotional arc and reaffirm the status-quo for Series 12

Improving Matt Smith’s era here

[harinezumiko]

SU Movie Meta n Notions

Courtesy of @thoughttrainderailed​ putting up with my half-not-awake ramblings and chiming in to pour more gas on this shit. 

This could be complaint-flavored but it’s also fic notes flavored, except it’s like three goddamn fix-it-fics worth of notes for more Nanowrimos than I’ll ever complete. :’D 

Harinezumiko:

unrelated

but

I wonder if Lion adopting Cotton Candy Garnet is related to the fact that Garnet became a cat person and Cat Steven adopted Lion

Jaakusan:

I dig it

Harinezumiko:

since NOBODY ELSE WAS TAKING CARE OF THIS EXTREMELY LOST BUBBLE at that point

I am willing to accept Lion recognizing her as regressing to a kitten

you know what would've been a fun angle that we won't get

and perhaps goes against the supposed Intention of Spinel being toxic

but I would still find it more interesting than the nothing we get

Jaakusan:

?

Harinezumiko:

1) I would like Lion being a goddamn cat and therefore Capable of Therapy When Compelled to be a Thing

2) I want Spinel to have made An Attempt at fixing her hair for the Diamonds, only for Lion to immediately ruin her odangos

3) I would also like the fact that HEY SPINEL LOOK LION IS ALSO SOMETHING PINK JUST FUCKIN' DITCHED :| :| to be a Thing

4) also I still want Pearls Brigade On Earth, but I like the imagery of Lion knocking Spinel's attempt to Make Heart Odango because quit your shit

Jaakusan:

hahaha

Harinezumiko:

5) since we don't get a Hey Solidarity With Pearl Because Pearl Doesn't Count Rite Homeworld Elites Fuck U Spinel, I want her to accidentally end up with literally anything from Earth that she has attachment to and incentive to Suck Less for?

like I know she's a movie character and likely I won't have to deal with her again

but

I am still angery that they made as little attempt as possible at hiding that writing Spinel and the Diamonds off was just convenient and lazy, Spinel doesn't care that she fucked up the Earth with apparently her own stupid toxin and doesn't care about anyone there and that pisses me off.

I don't even care if she made a vague excuse about coming back to visit just Lion

I think that would've been a better end note than getting whisked off by the Fairy Tyrant Godmoms to live in the Castle in the Sky forever and never have to deal with things again

also I think it would be nice if Spinel, y'know, had any interest in any of the characters she hung out with except Steven during her reset day

because only Pink caused your problems you dumb shit

you still owe Garnet an apology and frankly everyone else too, but GIVE A SHIT. ANY OF A SHIT. EVEN A SMALL TURD OF A SHIT. ABOUT SOMEONE OTHER THAN PINK

Jaakusan:

yeeeaaaah

I would have liked

like okay keep her going off with the diamonds, my feelings about how that can so easily go Wrong aside

but when they pop up have Pink Pearl with them

and PP talks her down

because you know who is exactly as new to grieving Pink as Spinel?

Pink Pearl

Harinezumiko:

yes100% this

Jaakusan:

who thought everything was hunky-dory and is now cast adrift with nobody to cling to?

Pink Pearl

Harinezumiko:

also I am really pissed that like

yeah we got some fun Reset Pearl Nonsense

Jaakusan:

who fucking enjoyed the silly side of Pink that she probably copied from Spinel?Pink Pearl

Harinezumiko:

but we are still facing Pearls Have No Agency And Nobody Finds That Bad Except People Who Know Our Pearl Personally

we still don't see YP or BP for more than a cameo where they don't interact directly with anyone

and they're just being another Utena reference anyway

like they seem to be happier and more comfortable but they don't interact directly with anyone and they literally only get like one off the cuff remark about Steven who doesn't count and isn't part of Gem Society

dude seriously Pink Pearl has so much room to be interesting adjacent from Spinel

but the lack of anything from Spinel even acknowledging that any Gems that aren't Diamonds exist beyond being props doesn't yet bode well for me?

because Spinel is an invitation for the Diamonds to resume something familiar and comfortable, but it's with a literally toxic person who wants to change and is being put in a world where change is not a thing

Spinel has never been part of Homeworld society either, she's been Pink's garden playmate

Jaakusan:

YEAH

(brb closing up to move computer)

Harinezumiko:

(ngl though I would totally take Pink Pearl showing up and fuckin' Asuka Slapping Spinel)

kk <3

Jaakusan:

and back

I just

sigh

it's weird to phrase it like this but

I just want characters that aren't Steven or the immediate antagonist to get significant interactions

the memory sequences still don't count

Harinezumiko:

I agree 100%

Jaakusan:

that's just bringing them back up to par

Harinezumiko:

I also think like

while I would've had even less fun with the movie it. literally squandered so much room for Steven to work with the Barn Gays

Jaakusan:

YES

Harinezumiko:

like... why. what was the point. stop increasing the cast and bringing people back if I don't get to see them do anything

Jaakusan:

YES

Harinezumiko:

I get that RS trapped herself with the stupid Steven Limited POV thing

I still think it's stupid

I think the movie could've cut away from that

I think we could've done away with that in Change Your Mind

I think we could've bullshit excuse handwaved it with some garbage about how Steven re-integrated with Pink Steeb and it allowed him to grow and broadened his worldview because the limited POV was something something Pink Steeb 'shielding' Steven and thus the viewers from Other Stuff

we have a two year time skip because RS was struggling to write things in Steeb's POV and for fucking what, to STILL have a limited protag POV?!

and I know the show is Steven's story

but if it's been something the crew has struggled with

since

I think they said somewhere around like season four was when they started being like "fff" about it

THEN FIX IT

Jaakusan:

eeeesh

Harinezumiko:

FIX IT IN THE MOVIE

FIX IT IN THE TIME SKIP

NOBODY FUCKING CARES IT WON'T HARM THE VIEWERS TO GET AN EXPANDED EXPERIENCE?

like I know that was a Thing RS Wanted To Maintain

and I suspect the rapid writing deterioration of MLP in later seasons didn't help

but fuck everything to do with this like... oh whoops nobody else can do anything protag is the only one who's not an NPC thing

Jaakusan:

YEAH

SO MANY PEOPLE COULD HAVE DONE THINGS

T H E Y H A V E A N A R M Y

Harinezumiko:

THEY HAVE AN ARMY

THEY HAVE NANEFUA

MISS ME WITH NOBODY IN BEACH CITY CAN DO ANYTHING, THE ONLY ONE THERE WHO SUCKS IS RONALDO

Jaakusan:

YOU CANNOT TELL ME IN TWO YEARS NANEFUA DIDN'T INPUT ANTI-GEM MEASURES IN CASE THIS BULLSHIT STARTED UP AGAIN

Harinezumiko:

dude you can't tell me other Gems didn't help

Jaakusan:

other paranoid just-got-out-of-a-war gems

just got out of a war gems living with gems they were fighting against

Harinezumiko:

you can't tell me that CGs that did believe in Pink's cause outside of Avoid Homeworld Live On Earth Forever would just

be totally cool

with this threat on their Earth, a threat that exclusively targets the organic life there

they're not even proactive in protecting the fucking humans?

are you shitting me?

someone please go fetch the Famethyst they APPARENTLY need to teach the rebels how to not just LET GOLDFISH DIE

Jaakusan:

SERIOUSLY

WHERE THE FUCK DID ALL THE GEMS GO DURING THE CATASTROPHE

WHICH STILL SHOULD HAVE EFFECTED MORE THAN. JUST BEACH CITY.

Harinezumiko:

they went to the concert and were totally unperturbed that Amethyst turned into Rose, duh

Jaakusan:

Famethyst would have been another acceptable Deal With Spinel cameo

Harinezumiko:

all of me as a person would like that

Jaakusan:

they have experience with being abandoned disappointments AND with wrangling people who are Upset and don't want to cooperate for their own good

Harinezumiko:

I also think that, y'know, STILL NOT DEALING WITH THE ROSE QUARTZES which I still think are rhinestones is bullshit

Amethyst could've at least lampshaded it

STEVEN could've

fuck, dude, Blue is like OMG A PINK TREASURE??? like yes like the zoomans how the fuck's Holly's stress level btw

Jaakusan:

seriously

WHERE ARE THE ROSE QUARTZES, CREW

WHAT DID THE DIAMONDS DO WITH THEM NOW

Harinezumiko:

where's Jasper

lmao

also host and I were talking about like

Jaakusan:

y u p

Harinezumiko:

Jasper having more room for redemption than Holly

because duh

but also because Holly has been trapped with a bunch of Remarkably Well-Adjusted War Veterans Who Are Extremely Friendly for thousands of years and the stick is still firmly up her ass

and Jasper is... apparently Gifted Child Who Can't Escape Her One (1) Big Failure And Is Branded By Being The Best Of Trash?

which is why she's a bully?

but you can't tell me Bismuth wouldn't brawl it out with her

or that they wouldn't be able to bond over Pink/Rose not trusting of them

or that it's fucking hard being on Earth where you did all this fighting, and you liked fighting, but the reason is Gone and your anger's still thereYou can't tell me that Bismuth doesn't ever have to deal with Gems now who think she's still in her little box and won't see past it, or that it pisses her entirely off but she can't kick ass and take names because Peace Time

bullshit they don't both have war PTSD

bullshit Jasper wouldn't have to grudgingly respect that Bismuth is demonstrably more useful and capable than her intended purpose

and like let's be real

it would be much easier for Jasper to swallow that pill than that Pearl isn't just brokenPearl keeps getting painted as abnormal by everyone's standards for not being a purse

as much as I want Pearl to kick Jasper's ass and have Jasper have to reassess things, canon isn't really setting Jasper up to have that epiphany, not even counting the show's unwillingness to just LET PEARL NOT SUCK AT FIGHTING

but also Bismuth is why Lapis happened

Bismuth was in Beta to kick quartz ass and attacked Lapis who was there to check the results of the hasty terraforming job done on that Kindergarten

Jaakusan:

yeah

Harinezumiko: 

there's so much room to close that story arc

and for Jasper to have to get her head out of the sand and reassess things because the world doesn't make sense anymore but who cares because she and Bismuth can punch the fuck out of each other for hours and Bismuth doesn't think less of her for it

Jasper doesn't have a peer she can 1:1 with because apparently even Garnet wasn't strength-equal to her, but Jasper's going to need several kicks in the head before she can accept that Garnet isn't 2:1

but Bismuth isn't a superior officer, her quarry of origin doesn't matter socially the way Jasper's does, and bullshit they won't get along like a house on fire if Bismuth can make friends with Lapis

Jaakusan:

seeeeeeriously

Harinezumiko:

and Bismuth would 100% be like

Jasper I have a suggestion

MAKE THINGS

shut up I know you hate art because it's frivolous but DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE WITH YOUR ENERGY

you'll FEEL BETTER and maybe you'll even find out you like doing a thing and if it's not something you were designed for then who fuckin' cares if you're not instantly the Best At It bitch that's good for you, learn to make stuff.

Jaakusan:

yessssss

Harinezumiko:

hell, like

they even could've lampshaded Jasper being MIA in the movie

Yellow for Some Fucking Reason cancelled her war plans Everywhere even though their whole empire relies on it

Jasper's off Doing That

they could've had several CGs offworld to handwave that too, like

they're not here and yeah we could call their ship with Lars' fuckin ship (where’s Emerald at?) but even if they could get back in time they couldn't evacuate Beach City because the warp drives would need time to recover that we don't have

Earth's not exactly a place teeming with non-organic energy to just power Gem ships

also in that vein likeI think it would've been good to have like

something

about Yellow not having to just dismantle everything she's ever done on her own?

like

does Blue

not have diplomats

was her one (1) skill really just Pushing With Crying

Jaakusan:

shrug 

I can't imagine she needed diplomats with how they treat alien life

I could maybe see her trying to create a diplomatic corp now

but they had no reason for one prior to reformatting the empireI do wonder if they just

stopped kindergarten production and pulled out

or if they tried to rebuild the planets they ravaged

Harinezumiko:

right?

well and like

it sounded like Sapphire was somewhat that kind of Aristocracy

so like

why not

have sapphires who are fairly Revered and also can at least theoretically guess if diplomacy rolls will fail

go help... with peace efforts...

Jaakusan:

at a guess

because they haven't actually reformed yet

they're still at the stage of "we're doing this because we love Pink/Steven and we want Steven to stick around" and not "we've internalized the teachings and Believe we were Wrong"so they're doing like

the bare minimum to meet expectations

because they don't actually care about the results outside of "Steven said we're doing good"

Harinezumiko:

oh no I agree

I think that's more believable

but I think that's not convenient for the writers who keep trying to cut corners

so most likely they'll offscreen epiphany if they don't backslide instantly and in a way Steven can yell at them for in his lifetime

and then Steven will at some point be Happily Surprised by undue progress

Jaakusan:

probably sigh

Harinezumiko:

I'm willing to believe like

Jaakusan:

the Diamonds are getting the Barn treatment

Harinezumiko:

Blue might actually Get It

not because she really Gets It

but because the Oh My God Pink Is Gone Because Of Us, I think, left an impact

and she otherwise did somehow come to the conclusion that Not All Organics Are The Worst likely because they remind her of Pink

but while she thought Pink was literally for real dead, she did get to find out that something as fragile and short-lived as an Um Greg Universe can potentially understand her feelings despite being literally immune to her miasma sadness

and now that she's making a conscious effort not to do that, and following having Yellow's breakdown during their fight in Change Your Mind, I think she'll be more proactive

and possibly more willing to take interest in other species and cultures and their Ways, even if I'm sure at first it'll still be motivated by Because Pink

and as long as she can be empathetic and help Yellow on that front, Yellow can potentially afford breaking down sometimes in private, because they've now also both seen what Constant Facade turned White into

and they both want White back

none of them can have Pink back but they can keep each other together, so Fairy Godmoms can get their shit together, and maybe Blue has a shit ton of notes somewhere about sustaining the Zoomans that can be implemented toward other planets and species and families they broke up

Jaakusan:

nodnod

Harinezumiko:

but realistically, if they were living on human time, it would take the rest of their natural lives to get their family shit together

and they don't get to do that because they're royalty

Jaakusan:

(I want Greg and Blue to be friends and Yellow to be like are you fucking serious Pink chose this and just eternally stink eye him)

Harinezumiko:

they're the entire ruling class of an immortal race of Gems who've spent millennia not only Doing War Things By Design but also who've been made only to Do War Things

like, how do you even dismantle that without wiping a clean slate

we saw how useless it was trying to give a day old Pearl choices

how the fuck are these emotionally constipated Broken God Queens supposed to unlearn their own shit and lead by example

they can't un-design Gems predate Pink

(I mean the solution is to step down and put other Gems in charge but that's still not an instant solution and we still won't fucking get to see it in the show)

(But the point remains that short of some deus ex machina hivemind available to make all the other pearls not overwhelm if you ask to be called Pink Lasagna you don't even have direct underlings that can sit in for you, like, fuck guys, you lost one of your set and made no contingency plan for if it happened again)

(you fucking honest to God thought Something could shatter you and you didn't properly wipe out the entire planet and star system it came from? you're asking for a second round.)

Jaakusan:

jesus, right???

like

real talk

as soon as the movie introduced the concept of concentrated organic murder juice

my first thought was

okay why the FUCK didn't they bomb Earth with that when they lost the war????

have fun on your useless fucking dead rock you'll never have the resources and tech to get off of, rebels

those that survive the earth collapsing because apparently it also breaks up the actual planet rather than just poisoning Everything

Harinezumiko:

right??

well and like

clearly

they just MAKE PLANET KILLER AND STORE IT SOMEWHERE

which I mean I guess if it weren't pink and clearly custom and if it hadn't been a literal fucking hour tops Spinel could've nicked it if the Diamonds really had just pulled the plug on things and abandoned projects

which is still bullshit

but it's still bullshit they should've addressed

Jaakusan:

yeeeeeaaaaah

Harinezumiko:

likeI know it's something Pink likely wouldn't know shit about

but Steven after working with the Diamonds to dismantle the shit?

yeah

uh

he needs to know that shit

Spinel also can't be the only Gem that takes this bullshit badly

Jaakusan:

no reckless dumping of toxic chemicals

Harinezumiko:

not everything needs to be a response to Pink

Jaakusan:

YEAH

Harinezumiko:

that was one of the few things I did like about Steg

not him specifically

but that the first attempt failed because it hinged on Rose Is The Answer

Jaakusan:

but Pearl's whole memory sequence?

yeah

Harinezumiko:

but I maintain the entire movie fails hard at what this show is allegedly about

because no one except Garnet exists because of interaction with friends or family

no one is a product of love

Steven spends the entire movie trying to recreate the traumas that he thinks are the Defining Thing despite that literally not being what worked on Amethyst and despite getting Rupphire to fuse not fixing Garnet for ?? reasons 

I am still mad that we finally get Garnet being Wrong and it's swept under the rug, like? Garnet apparently DOESN'T exist on her own. there is, allegedly, no Garnet if Ruby and Sapphire don't remember it? Are you fucking me?

like A Garnet exists but it's not This Garnet even though as long as Ruby and Sapphire's love exists she should also exist because she's the embodiment of a concept

at the very minimum they should have given Garnet an in-movie explanation for not Remembering Herself

and that explanation doesn't get to be that she finds out that truth is a fucking concept

Jaakusan:

SERIOUSLY THAT WAS SO DUMB

Harinezumiko:

if Garnet's going to spend the entire movie asking stupid shit and getting nowhere then her epiphany should come from finding an answer, and we've already established Garnet's answer IS LOVE

we literally could've had it triggered by something else too like

address the future vision thing

fucking have Steven ask it outright

have Garnet admit she doesn't know

have Bismuth point out the visor thing

hell, you can still have Steven leave Toddler Garnet with Anthy Pearl if you want to

Have Garnet looking for something, have it be her visor, have it be clarity, have Garnet's uncertainty addressed by anyone literally at all

have fucking Amethyst after she gets her shit together remark that Garnet looks weird without her visor

have Pearl who at least KIND OF ends up on Babysitting Cotton Candy Duty for all of 5 seconds afterwards suggest her visor helps her focus

Jaakusan:

maybe based off a Sapphire having only one eye

Harinezumiko:

have Spinel's pot shot not be that Garnet is cute and stupid and trusting, but that she's a three-eyed freak who's still blind to what's happening right beneath them because the Earth's definitely going to fucking explode now and have Garnet make her glasses

have Garnet find her fucking goddamn truth if you're not going to let her answer be love, have Garnet make a decision in the same way that Pearl is allowed to make a choice, and tie it into Amethyst making a friend in Steven

Jaakusan:

YEAH

Harinezumiko:

there's a post about how Steven's failure is defining himself and the Gems by their trauma, as if trauma isn't part of what shapes you

but the post doesn't fucking even TOUCH on the fact that the movie doesn't supplement this traumatic shit with any of the supposed Family Bonding Crystal Gems Values that the show is allegedly made of

you know

the ball

they dropped

in Change Your Mind

:|

:| :|

okay in all of S5

Jaakusan:

Y E A H

Harinezumiko:

no one in this fucking movie does any soul searching at all and it Pisses Me Off

we get some from goddamn Spinel and while the number was enjoyable it has no impact on anything

she learns nothing

she still tries to kill everyone the second she stops getting her way

and she gets a Happily Ever After

and Idgaf that it's more true to Real Life why am I watching a cartoon if you're going to tell me Steven will never get to rest but Spinel gets to live in a castle with no consequences

why does Spinel get a fairytale ending if she's toxic, Sugar

Jaakusan:

YEEEEEAAAAAAAAH

the memory wiping literally had no point other than filling time

time that could have been filled with better, more meaningful things

Harinezumiko:

I even liked the memory wiping! Except nobody learned anything after

I would love a well-done amnesia season

I would love Slice of Life season: Everyone Learns What Life Is For

Jaakusan:

ooooh

Harinezumiko:

like, since we don't fucking HAVE SEASON SIX YET, there's no. reason to pin the movie as "vaguely adjacent to the timeline but don't worry about it"

I know it's because Movie and whatever

but you could just use the movie to launch the next season, mang

you could have Spinel apologize to Steven because she can't fix what the scythe did because the scythe isn't even fucking hers

it's a known weapon and it should've been the goddamn shoe-drop for Peridot being afraid of being harvested

have the movie lay the foundation for Steven trying to rebuild his home and his friends and his family without the Diamonds' intervention

the way the Crystal Gems deserve

give Earth a fresh slate since we don't know the goddamn background Gems

give the OG Mom Squad the chance to be welcomed by friends they don't know anymore, dismantle the Homeworld Defaults that they've been left with, let the secondary characters shine for two hours, and open Season Six with things being Different and Steven having to learn that It Be Like That Sometimes 

in the same way the corrupted Gems have to

let Mom Squad become nurturing by choice this time

let Steven be the person in the forefront of their memories, not millennia of Rose

and drop Jasper on the beach in a space pod only to find that Garnet can't fight, Rose's base is taken, her army is lost, the Pearl's not even defective anymore, and Amethyst is. kinda honestly the most functional person here and why the fuck is that the case

Give Season Six the chance to be the Barn Squad + Jasper helping Steven pick up the pieces of his life while Jasper occasionally chimes in still stuck in her ways, have Jasper get uncomfortably attached to this half-feral runt Amethyst that won't let go of her shins

have Jasper be aware that the CGs are Broken and Wrong and have that be what prompts her to fix it. Give her the excuse of wanting to kick Garnet's ass. Have her land on the beach in her Saiyan Pod totally visibly uncorrupted

have the season include the other remaining CGs trying to find themselves too

(and obviously reveal mid-season that Jasper's putting on airs and hiding her horns and spots in her costume change+hair, have her unwilling to admit it might be permanent for everyone, have her invested at that point enough that she doesn't find it acceptable)

(and then have her get the fuckin Piccolo treatment. have her get better as she becomes a better person.)

Amethyst can still be the first to really Get It, even

Amethyst accidentally shows it by shapeshifting without horns

because she knows Jasper doesn't have them anymore

have Jasper lapse back into being a Rampant Bitch sometimes at characters who don't deserve it and have Amethyst, the feral child not long enough ago, react badly

Jaakusan:

yesssssssss

Harinezumiko:

like I know this suffers from I Just Want Jasper Screentime

but the writers ALREADY SKIPPED SHOWING US BARN GAYS DEVELOPING ON SCREEN

have Jasper be an outsider who thinks it's Weird and Wrong for different reasons than Steven but have them join in their goal to make Earth home again because they've both lost that

also have literally every other quartz on Earth awkwardly defaulting to assuming Connie's mom and/or Barb are agates

[doberbutts]

And the followup post, here.

Okay folks, this is one I’ve resisted posting about for a while, but enough people have sent it to me (including a link from WADTT from a group where the author goes further into detail on this subject, thank you darling <3 ) that I guess it’s time.

I’m going to start with- this is why I don’t like it when people who are not involved in something decide they want to judge something they don’t know anything about. I’m, of course, not saying this woman doesn’t know anything about dog training- her credentials are enough to say otherwise. But the phrasing of both of these articles indicate that she has never taken her dogs through a CGC before and, indeed, has never done any sort of AKC event before. In fact, one of her main problems with it (and one of her source’s main problems with it, but I’ll go into that later) is that the AKC is an organization that makes money because people do stuff with their dogs with said organization. Her source is more talking about puppy mills- in which it exaggerates a bit and implies that the money the AKC makes yearly is mostly coming from litter entries (ignoring the large sums coming from show entries, titles, etc) while her post implies that they’re getting quite a hefty sum from CGC entries (ignoring... all the other stuff the AKC does). Another reasons she gives for not liking the CGC is that the rulebook states that they don’t care what method you use to teach the items- something true of all AKC titles- as long as your dog is in the approved back-clipping non-restrictive harness, flat collar, martengale collar, or slip collar come testing day. She even does not like that the CGC allows the slip collar to be used during the test, despite the fact that- like all AKC titles- it’s not meant to be used during the test, as correcting your dog even verbally will fail you.

Far be it from me to claim the CGC is the end-all of dog behavior. We have had dogs right here on dogblr that decidedly were not the epitome of good temperament pass CGC and even CGCA. I’ve passed a dog that I know is dog aggressive, but he was not during testing time or class, so I also could not fail him. I just had an argument with a high profile dobe breeder about why the CGC program is not an ideal standard for service dogs. I have my own problems with the program, and my own problems with the AKC, and I can’t really say either is perfect.

I’ve taken close to 50 dogs through the CGC in 2018 and the first couple days of 2019 alone at this point. As most of you are aware, I am not a +R trainer by the strictest sense of the term. As most of you are also aware, I am required to be so while at my job. That means the vast majority of my students must adhere strictly to force-free methodology, and exceptions may only be made when there is a serious safety concern regarding strength of dog vs strength of human. This also means that the majority of my CGC students have run through the CGC without ever feeling any sort of pressure or compulsion. While, yes, the rulebook does state that whatever methods you want can be used for teaching the items, my job states that I am much more limited. Besides that, I’m pretty pro-don’t-punish-your-dog-for-not-reading-your-mind and anti-use-corrective-collars-to-fix-your-shitty-foundation, so there’s that too, even with my personal dogs aka dogs I’m allowed to actually do whatever I want with. Just as an aside, but I took CGC classes at Petco as well when I ran through the program with Creed because I can and they’re free for me, so I also was not allowed to have him on anything more corrective than a martengale during class or test. This means no slip collar either- something allowed by AKC rules but not by the testing facility. Clearly the CGC can be passed while sticking firmly to a +R ideology.

But that’s not enough- in the group where she discussed her reasonings for this, the mere fact that the CGC rulebook states that it allows slip collars, that you can do whatever you want in training, and that the AKC refuses to totally ban metal aversives is bad enough to never want to take a CGC. Simply funding the organization with your $10 is bad enough to not want to do it. That, to me, is more than a little ridiculous.

Onto the next point- the fear that more people beginning to require a CGC to insure or rent to dog owners would split up dogs and humans- specifically fearful or aggressive dogs, and low income families. This is a tricky one to navigate, and one that I’m very much wishing she hadn’t thrown human social talking points into (misogyny, violence against women, income status, etc). First of all- there is no current punishment for failing your CGC besides a little bit of embarrassment or frustration if you thought your dog was ready, so the whole “scarlet letter of bad citizen” is exaggerated hyperbole at best. Second of all, no insurance company to date has required a CGC that I am aware of, but has given discounts for one being present. Third, HOAs and landlords have actually changed from disallowing pets completely to saying that they will allow a pet if it’s trained to a visible standard- this is a good thing. This is not “landlords and HOAs used to allow dogs all the time but now they require your dog pass a test”, it’s “landlords and HOAs used to not allow any dogs or only allow dogs smaller than 25lbs or have breed bans and now instead of that they just want to make sure your dog is somewhat trained”. Forward progress. Creed failed his CGC at 13 months. He passed it at 22 months. Failing it the first time had literally zero effect on his ability to pass it the second time, except that I knew what things he still needed practice with before our second go around.

If your dog is too fearful or too aggressive to pass a CGC test with dedicated training, you probably shouldn’t be renting with it. These are easy things to pass and things your dog will have to navigate at some point in its life. Your dog is going to need to be touched by strangers at the vet or groomer. Basic obedience- positions, recall, stay, those are things that literally save lives in emergency situations. Your dog is going to need to be able to peacefully coexist with other dogs when going outside to pee, on a walk, at the vet, at the groomer. With the increasing number of vets that take the dog into the back, away from its owner, for simple procedures like shots and blood draws, your dog is going to need to be okay not being next to you for a whole 3 minutes. Not everyone likes dogs, so it’s imperative that your dog can walk by strangers without bothering them, especially if you have neighbors in the same building. While loose leash walking and distractions are perhaps the most easily discarded of all of these items, the #1 complaint I receive as a dog trainer from new clients is that their dog pulls on leash. The #2 complaint is that the dog is easily distracted by everything and thus “doesn’t listen”. That’s your 10 items on the CGC. If your dog cannot do those things with a combination of training and management techniques, then, yeah, your dog probably shouldn’t be in a rental and you should look into additional training. Additionally- dogs that bark constantly, especially at movement/sound from neighbors or due to seperation anxiety, get their owners evicted. That’s the hard truth. Dogs that are not properly housebroken get their owners evicted, or at the very least get their owners charged thousands of dollars for repairs when an angry landlord has to replace flooring or carpet or furniture. That’s why the dog owner pledge exists.

HOAs are much the same- barking dogs get neighbor complaints which then get you evicted or fined. Leaving a dog outside to bark in the yard is one of the biggest reasons animal control gets called on dog owners. A pesky neighborhood gardener has the right to work in peace- if your dog won’t stop barking, nothing is stopping you from bringing it inside or moving it away from the windows. I don’t know why we suddenly jump to taping the mouth shut or surgical debarking- unless the dog cannot be calmed once it starts, in which case a visit to the vet and a behaviorist (or trainer otherwise skilled in BAT) is in order to determine what combination of management techniques and medication is required for the dog to have its extreme anxiety or aggression calmed to a more reasonable point where it stops being unfair to the dog to exist in such a stressful mindset. The pledge does not say you can’t do that- and anyone working with a trainer to pass the CGC should be provided that option should they request it.

People don’t like it when dog owners let their dogs poop in their yards. Even if you clean it up, there’s still residue. It’s also pretty terrible for the environment to not pick it up in your own yard, as well as a public health and safety hazard if allowed to collect over a long amount of time or if there are multiple dogs. E.coli, salmonella, coccidia, giardia, and various parasites such as roundworm and tapeworm can and do spread to humans if on contaminated ground- a worry for children who may not know better than to put their hands in grass a dog has recently pooped on and, since there’s no visible trace of poop anymore, then puts their hands in their mouths. Distemper, parvo, and lepto spreads to dogs with weak immune systems that cannot be vaccinated, or puppies who have not completed their vaccinations yet. Rain water pushes these diseases out of a dog owner’s yard and into other ground as well as into rivers and other sources of drinking water. Making sure that your dog only uses certain areas to go to the bathroom, and then immediately doing your best to pick up after your dog is the only acceptable compromise. And people are very bad at even doing that- outside of my store, where there is a poop bag station every couple of feet, we still completely fill a trash bag full of poop weekly because people will not pick up after their dogs. That’s why the dog owner pledge exists. At least daily inside of my store, we discover a trail of feces and urine down an aisle from a dog owner that either wasn’t paying enough attention to their dog to see that it was doing that, or that didn’t care enough to clean it up, even with several easily accessible clean-up stations within the store. Sometimes it’s right at the clean-up station.

That’s why its phrased the way it is. Good citizen- or in Canada, good neighbor. It’s an attempt to curb bad human behaviors while also teaching dogs a very simple, easy-to-pass test. If the CGC or CGN isn’t your cuppa, there’s also others such as CLASS and SPOT and even various things from DMWYD. But all of them are similar in that they attempt to solve this problem as more people with more dogs becomes more widespread.

As for the rest- dogs that growl get dismissed from the test. This does not mean dogs-that-growl-ever. This means, dogs that growl during the test. It’s included because the AKC got tired of evaluators and judges and other dogs being attacked by dogs. Any aggressive behavior whatsoever displayed during the test is grounds for automatic dismissal in the vast majority of AKC events. This prevents the owner from attempting to “work through it” and invariably flooding the dog and getting someone bit. Instead, the dog is dismissed, and the owner is forwarded to someone who can find out why the dog is growling and how to make the dog more comfortable with whatever the problem was. Dogs that cannot hold their urine for the 30 minutes max each test takes, yes, get dismissed, because nobody likes a dog that pees all over everything. This includes dogs that submissive or excited pee, because the owner should be working with a vet and behaviorist on proper management solutions. Dogs are allowed to startle during distractions, as long as they do not attempt to flee, run, or bark. It even says the dog may look at the distraction with (mild) interest, as long as it is neither pulling towards the distraction nor running away from the distraction.

Once again, far be it from me to be the white knight of the CGC or even of the AKC, but this article is, frankly, mostly the same type of nonsense I always hate seeing from people who wish to make talking points about things they’ve never experienced and thus don’t have any idea what they’re talking about. Again, I am not saying this woman doesn’t know what dog training entails. Her credentials alone say otherwise. But I am saying that it’s very clear she’s never even attempted the CGC, nor attended a class of people attending the CGC. Again, in the FB group where she discusses her reasoning, she even says that while she understands people do go through the CGC with all forcefree training, her problem is that it allows people to not do that, and so it’s still unacceptable. So all training is required to be forcefree, written in the rules, or else there’s the potential that someone somewhere might do something to their dogs that she doesn’t like, and so it’s bad. That’s... ridiculous.

There’s also some things at the end about wanting legislature to require forcefree only training, about wanting all dog trainers to pass a certification that requires people to only use forcefree training, and some bits about people like me who occasionally use tools not allowed by +R methodology in certain circumstances being inhumane and unethical, but I won’t go into those more than my warning that I always have for things like this.

Always be careful about strong opinions formed by people who have never done or experienced or worked with the thing they have strong opinions about. Especially so when they are strong opinions that may become enforced by law. At that point, everyone loses.

[captainsrogers7]

Babysitting Part 3

Summary:  You have been assigned to watch over Loki. Over the few weeks you have spent with him you two grow close to each other. When it’s finally time for him to return to Asgard, you enter a stage of misery and depression. That is until Thor surprises you with something. 

Word Count: 1,323

Warnings: fluff

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

___________________________________________________________

You have now been working with Loki for a week and a half and the two of you had become very close. As you came upon the door for your shift you heard lots of yelling.

“Leave her alone! She’s just pretending to get along with you. As soon as you leave she’ll be as happy as ever!” you recognized that voice, it was the night guard.

“You don’t know what your talking about, you’re mind is probably a little fuzzy from that drink you’ve kept by your side the entire night.” Loki spat at him, he didn’t sound very confident.

You opened the door and saw that the whole apartment had been trashed. plates and glasses were shattered throughout the room, the couch and all of its pillows were torn apart, and the television screen had a chair through it. 

“What happened here!” you screamed. Their arguing had gotten worse over the time Loki has been here, “The two of you have been acting like children and it’s getting out of hand. Go and sleep your hangover off and you start cleaning this up.

Both of the men seemed to follow instructions. Loki didn’t make eye contact with you until the drunken man had closed the door, even then he tried to avoid it, he could tell that you were upset and he thought it was better not to make it worse.

“Care to explain?” you raised your eyebrows at him.

“He was drinking some sort of alcohol and continuously made sexual comments about you and I didn’t like it I told him to stop,” he was still avoiding eye contact, “ he started to throw things and so did I, I’m sorry.”

“What about that last bit? Before I came in.” 

“He accused me of having feelings for you and said that you would never go for a monster like me. I thought he was right but I couldn’t let him know, I didn’t want him to think that he had the upper hand.” he looked up waiting to be yelled at once again.

You had no idea how to react to that so you decided to ignore it. You started cleaning up the living room but stopped once you came upon the television. How could you fix that?

“Here let me.” Loki waved his hands and everything that was broken was fixing itself.

Once everything was back to normal you sat on the couch and opened a book that was on one of the end tables. You weren’t reading it you were just waiting for Loki to say something.

“Y/n do you want anything to eat?”

“No.”

“Do you want to watch tv?” 

“No.”

“Y/n, I’m sorry I don’t know what else I can do. Please tell me what I can do to make you forgive me.” he was pleading.

“Maybe stop arguing with him, you know he keeps going to Director Fury and telling him to take me off this job. This morning I got a call from Fury sayign that if he gets another complaint about me then I’m gone, no more missions, nothing. I’ll be unemployed.”

“Y/n, I’m sorry. I had no clue-”

“Of course you didn’t! That’s how I wanted to keep it, I thought for you being a prince and over a thousand years old you would know how to be polite to people that you don’t like.”

He came over and sat beside me and put his arm around me. I found this comforting, he had only began doing ti a few days ago but since he started I had always found it calming. I think he knew that because whenever I was mad at him he would do it and it would make me forget why you were mad at him in the first place.

“What do you want to do today?” he smiled at me.

“How about watch a movie?”

“Movie? What’s that?”

I hadn’t yet introduced Loki to movies.

“It’s like a play but on the tv.”

“Oh. What movie?”

“What about, Titanic.”

“Alright, turn it on.”

Once the credits had began to roll Loki turned to me. He seemed very displeased with what we had just viewed.

“What was that? It was ridiculous.”

“It was not! It’s so romantic, you wouldn’t understand.”

“Clearly,” he got up off the couch and walked into the kitchen.

You heard the sink turn on. He walked out with two glasses of water. He handed me one and took a sip from the other. He sat back on the couch beside me and turned to look at me. He opened his mouth to say something but didn’t.

“What?” I asked him.

“Nothing.” he lied, I was getting better at detecting his lies, “What would you like for dinner?”

“You’re going to make dinner?” I laughed.

“What’s so funny?”

“You yelled at the toaster yesterday because it burned your toast!”

“I would like to redeem myself. I got someone to bring pasta.”

All you could do was nod through my laughter. He walked back into the kitchen and opened the cupboard door. I wanted to watch this. I got up off the couch and went to sit on the counter top beside the stove.

Loki was putting the pasta into the pot and then he turned to me, “Y/n, I can make dinner without supervision.”

“Yes but I think that this could be extremely entertaining.”

He rolled his eyes. He had finished with the stove and moved to the sink to drain the water from the pot. You remained in your place on the counter. After Loki finished put the pasta on the plate he came over to where you were sitting on the counter. 

He came in between you legs and smiled.

“Are you going to eat there two or are you planning on joining me at the table?”

“I haven’t decided yet.”

He laughed and rolled his eyes. He turned back to you and you both leaned in. You lips met your stomach did a flip. When you pulled away you noticed that Loki was blushing. You hopped down from the counter and grabbed a plate and went to the table, Loki close behind you. There wasn’t much talking during dinner. 

The two of you returned to the couch and watched another movie. You made it almost halfway through the movie when Loki paused it. 

“Can we talk about what happened earlier?”

“Sure. What do you want to talk about?”

“Well for starters I know that you felt something too, what happened?”

“I don’t know I did it in the heat of the moment, it felt like the right thing to do.” You admitted

He smiled, “Well are we going to do it again?”

“I haven’t decided yet.”

He scooted closer to me and leaned towards me once more. We kissed again, my stomach did a double flip this time. Were you always going to react like this when he kissed you? Your moment was interrupted by the door opening.

“You! I told you to leave her be!”shouted the night guard.

Loki jumped off the couch, “Now now Jonathan. Let’s not get worked up again.”

I had to interject, “The both of you stop! Jonathan, go back to your room. I’m not leaving here tonight, you two argue too much. I don’t want to lose my job so you’ll have to promise me that you will not tell Fury.”

Jonathan’s eyes went from me to Loki. His gaze seemed to soften.

“You got it. Just no more of that.” He glared at Loki before leaving.

“Well I guess you’re staying here.” Loki said to me.

“Seems like it.”

I gathered some blankets and pillows so I could curl up on the couch. Loki stopped me.

“You go sleep in bedroom, I’ll sleep out here.”he smiled.

“Thank you. Goodnight Loki.” I gave him a kiss on the cheek before making my way into the bedroom.

_________________________________________________________

Tags: @unlikelygalaxygiver @kayleedolan101 @bethany-zor-el-danvers @bellag8 @marvel-cinematic-universe0123 @midnightgrace444424 @literally-dead-inside @marvelouslyme96

[nerd-breached-containment]

More shenanigans with Clanmen

And another big one coming:

What the censored does this even have to do with clans? lol

A lot, actually. :’D

And quite frankly, we are unbothered by you telling what makes our clan image really. It's not like people think you even look pretty yourself out here kissing the admins' boots for everything they do.

I can’t phrase what it is, the “we are unbothered by you telling what makes our clan image really“ and “you even look pretty yourself out here kissing the admins' boots“ makes me giggle a lot - y’all can check my Track history (yes, I’m bringing this back) and y’all can view that I only “defended” the Admins around.. 2-3 times during my life, and that’s about it - if y’all check both my Tumblr, Discord, ect, y’all can see that about 90% of the times, I do despise them - I, at the least, know the difference between an Admin and a Developer (this will be brought up again, don’t worry). As for the “unbothered”, about... 6 clanmen of the same clan say otherwise, two (now 3) still show signs of such.

Let me tell you one of the things that irks me the most:

It's that when people basically just complain - telling people off for giving the admins/developers the amount of negative feedbacks that they get, saying: We complain too much; the admins are humans too give them a break; be grateful this game still exists; and negative comments impolite (apparently? :'D)

So.. basically being a normal civilized human being irks you? Like..

telling people off for giving the admins/developers the amount of negative feedbacks that they get: You’re basically saying to continue to bash them for “not fixing x” even though they’re Admins and not Developers, they can’t really fix anything;

We complain too much; the admins are humans too give them a break: While I do agree some complaints are a tad... why and some do need more attention, I really don’t see where’s the bad in the latter, if you were an Admin, you probably would wish people would give you a break after receiving thousands and thousands of PMs; :’D

be grateful this game still exists; and negative comments impolite (apparently? :'D): To this day, it’s the only MMORPG HTTYD game you’ll ever see that’s in a... complete state, until someone makes an upgraded (and better) MMORPG HTTYD game... yeah, be grateful this exist. As for the latter, I’ve seen multiple cases where users spoke with a very unreadable or plain-out negative text and the Admins tried to help them but the user didn’t gave enough information - if you want the Jumpstart Support or the Admins to help you then... write a goddamn decent and polite comment with all the information they need, it’s common sense, for crying out loud.

I mean.. where do I even start?

Listen pal, if we see an issue in the game, as players/customers of the game, we have the rights to be free to speak up about it. Sure, the admins/developers are humans too, but it is what they signed up for, as much negative feedbacks that they recieve, they are responsible and accountable for what it is. And just so you know, the players who complain are actually the supporters of the game, and the more open the players are about the issues in the game, the more support this game gets, because those who complain about the problems are those who care about the game and we address them because we wish to see a better future to the game. So, just because we have bad things to say, doesn't mean we don't believe in the admins too. Otherwise, why would we even bother to give a comment.

“Sure, the admins/developers are humans too, but it is what they signed up for, as much negative feedbacks that they recieve, they are responsible and accountable for what it is.”

Hum... oh okay, so if I signed up as a receptionist, it’s my responsibility for all the negative commentaries, even those that can’t be solved by me? That’s why there are people out there that support the idea of “being polite with those who work hard”, often times, people who work at receptionists, cash registers, you name it, about 80% of the complaints they get are complaints they can’t even fix and either have to ask for a manager or try to calm the person down since there’s not that much to do. Saying that “it is what they signed up for“ it’s basically saying “they’re the fault of all the glitches that happen and therefore they have to fix it right away” even though they can’t really do that much but to:

Ask you to send an email to Jumpstart Support (the equivalent of asking for a manager);

Or try to keep them calm.

Hell, I’ll give another example, a part of the Fandom website got fucked up and an user files a complaint reply to me about how there’s a section of the website itself that’s glitched, so I send a Glitch Complaint Email to Fandom support about said glitch - according to you, it’s MY responsibility that the Fandom website has that glitch and therefore, it’s ME who has to fix it, not the Fandom Devs. Do you understand what the fuck you just said or...

And just so you know, the players who complain are actually the supporters of the game

Since when though? Would be nice if you added a source referring to that, and just because they are the “supporters of the game”, it doesn’t mean they have to be respected - hell, I may be an Admin of the Wiki, but that doesn’t mean that everyone needs to fall to their knees before me, I ain’t some kind of goddess, I’m just a casual player who edits the wiki. And if they’re the “supporters of the game” then why don’t they have a special title? Supposed “supporters” should at the least have a special title like games like Pony Town has. Hell, there was even a Narrative Designer that appeared when clearing up the Hobblegrunt confusion (link available at the Hobblegrunt page at the SoD wiki btw) and how do we know it’s a Narrative Designer?

Because they have their own title. If these supposed “supporters” don’t have their own title then... I’m sorry but you are saying fake shit and I don’t believe one bit until you give a proper source.

And the funniest thing? The same two “supporters” are the same users that are calling those who believe the Admins “fools” so... what a nice duo of supporters the Admins have, huh.

the more open the players are about the issues in the game, the more support this game gets, because those who complain about the problems are those who care about the game and we address them because we wish to see a better future to the game.

One thing is complain about a glitch to bring awareness, another thing is call everyone a “fool” for believing in the Admins - and I should note that this only started to happen after CotC got cancelled. No one was calling anyone a fool for x, it only and exclusively started happening after that became a thing.

And you’re saying that as if that’s what they’re doing when they aren’t. Need I remind you that one of the.. supposed “supporters” said this:

And this:

The bottom one was repeated 3 times throughout the entire thread. And remember, ever since this thread happened, the same user is now going on a spree of casually telling everyone that they’re fools for believing in the Admin’s lies. And this user is supposedly a “supporter”, everybody.

What a great way to show how good your clan is by having a clanman doing... this.

So, just because we have bad things to say, doesn't mean we don't believe in the admins too. Otherwise, why would we even bother to give a comment.

Again, those two “supporters” (specifically one of them) have something to say about that. And given how a clan behave... you probably only did that to “protect the other clanmen”.

And the devs need negative feedbacks, otherwise how can they even know what's wrong with the game DUUHHH. Other than that, the admins/devs themselves (most of the time (?)) don't always know what's good for the game, because unlike the players, they don't experience the gameplay experience themselves, so they don't know what bugs/glitches that actually matters and needs fixing and changes that needs to be done.

I agree with your point, though, like I said before, one thing is complain about a glitch to bring awareness, another thing is call everyone a “fool” for believing in the Admins. Those guys, specifically one of them, was going around casually saying that everyone’s a fool for believing in the Admin’s bullshit, how is that bringing awareness??

And “the admins/devs themselves (most of the time (?)) don't always know what's good for the game, because unlike the players, they don't experience the gameplay experience themselves“ yet again, Admins =/= Developers, and Developers have Beta Testers within them, to build a game and release it to the public, you HAVE to play it, there has been games where it really looks like the Testers didn’t played at all and have the double the amount of glitches that SoD has. And granted, there are suggestions that have been a thing for years (like the Feed All Button), though, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they haven’t added suggestions - as someone in the CotC Thread said before...

And you can't expect everyone to address things the way you approve, nor expect everyone to shut up and deal with it like the admins/devs are saints - pretending there's nothing wrong for the sake of human sympathy, as it's so irrelevant. Kindly open your eyes please, this world isn't perfect and someone needs to say something about it.

What way I approve, though??? Like... what??? xD

File a polite, informative complaint email or PM is like. common sense. To let them help you, you have to help them understand what happen, that’s the basic of rules when it comes to file a complain to any form of support. And showing politeness to any support, really, gives off a better self-light than talking like you have some sort of anger problems with all caps and “speakin lik dis”. It’s literally common sense, it’s not a thing from me, it’s common sense - you wouldn’t file a complaint to any support email from any real life brand by typing “my machine doesnt work now, pls fix it”. They’ll probably either ignore it or ask for, you guess it, more fucking details.

Also I didn’t even told them to shut up????? I just told them that going around also telling other they’re fools for believing the Admins wouldn’t really give their clan a good image, that’s all I said! I didn’t even told them to shut up! Are you that protective to your clan that you’re assuming waaay to many things that I said??? Goddamn. xD

Also, where did you even g e t that “pretending there's nothing wrong for the sake of human sympathy, as it's so irrelevant.“???? “Kindly open your eyes please” Look who’s talking, at the least, I know what I’m talking about, I don’t suddenly bring “sake of human sympathy” and “expect everyone to shut up” out of the blue! xD

I think I've said enough. Oh and P.S _--_-- and _------_------ are actually one of the game's biggest supporters just so you know, especially in clan tournament ;)

Like I said, a source about that would be appreciated and those same guys are also the ones going around saying “we are fools for believing in the Admins’ bullshit”. And “especially in Clan Tournament”, well, that explains their sore loser behavior, you just made my point even stronger by proving once again that the reason they’re behaving like that is because of the cancellation of the CoTC.

Oh and after I said that second-to-last paragraph explains practically everything, I’m amazed they didn’t understood what I meant with that and... sent this:

Why do people geninely think that sending gifs makes them feel more powerful and threatening? What is that gif supposed to imply? Fear? Dread? “Urgh”? Explain to me, please because all I see is a gif with... “Now run along”. Ofc I did thanked them for the lil chat because it was pretty nice.

[ahwhite2208-blog]

A Thousand Days In Hell

Non-league football is a peculiar entity. For half of the teams in the National League, and certainly the rest in the steps below, it is a wonderful opportunity to do the unthinkable and gain entry to the world of full time football, a dream that so many children have and yet so few manage to live. The players are part time brickies, postmen, regional bank clerks – you know, the type of clubs and players that the BBC cameras fawn over in the FA Cup first round. In principle, it’s great. If I was a Gateshead or a Solihull fan, I might even enjoy it. But when a club the size of Tranmere Rovers fell out of the Football League trapdoor, the typical non-league experience is turned on its head.

The day before I moved to university, I stood on the terraces at Southport and watched us go 2-0 down within 20 minutes. It still hadn’t registered to me that this was actually happening, a feeling of bemusement that I’m sure most of us shared. It was meant to be a whistlestop tour of shit grounds and shit teams that we’d only ever seen in pre-season friendlies. As it turned out, we were destined to spend 1,115 days with this feeling. Denial, sadness, anger, guilt and frustration all came and went, depending on the level of opposition and how quickly we managed to concede. A wounded animal, confused and in pain, Tranmere Rovers as a collective entity was in unfamiliar surroundings. What were we meant to do? It felt like a fever dream. The hideous turquoise tracksuits, the god awful Vanarama branding, even the footballs themselves looked tacky and amateurish. Granted, we hadn’t exactly covered ourselves in glory for about fifteen years but what did we do to deserve this? Most of the players, on our side and theirs, looked like they had won a competition to play at being a footballer for the day. It was a continuation of the previous season’s atrocities, but at a level of football that was truly embarrassing to watch. We didn’t even make the playoffs in that first year, thanks to a team from Essex with about three pound fifty to their name and two P.E teachers in charge. Two ends of the spectrum and all that.

If I’m being honest, I remember next to nothing about the 16 months that Gary Brabin was in charge. I barely went to the games after September, I didn’t know who half of our players were, and I stopped caring. When you spend your 18thbirthday watching Boreham Wood beat you 2-0, something inside of you just dies. I didn’t even bother going to Wrexham. I binned off browsing the Cowsheds – probably a wise decision for anyone wanting to keep their sanity – so FlashScore and the occasional Twitter update was about as much as I could be arsed. I was used to my Kopite and Bluenose mates taking the piss out of us, but I draw the line at Sebastian from Surrey braying in the Mission smoking area about how he could never watch non-league football because his daddy gets executive seats at Chelsea. To be honest, I kept a good crowd at uni. Most of my teammates supported Championship teams like Ipswich or Preston, but even their sympathetic nods and “you’re too big to be down there, remember when you were playing us in League One?” became depressing.

On my occasional visits home in second year, things seemed to be picking up pace. The glamping tent was established (two Gamma Rays and a Sheppy’s please Mark) and we had an alright team. Nors and Harris were becoming cult heroes, we signed Steeeeve and looked like we could actually win the league. Still had to put up with the refereeing, the 12 North Ferriby fans and the voice in the back of your head that says you’re going to be here forever, but at least things were looking up. Remember though, this is Tranmere, and the good was inevitably followed by the bad. Lincoln away was possibly the worst place I’ve ever been for several reasons, the main one being that it looks like post-apocalypse Brexit Britain and the locals are the strangest mutants you can imagine. Whoever’s van I keyed: you deserved it for a) beating us, b) living in Lincoln and c) having a copy of the S*n on your dashboard. Imagine giving somewhere as desolate as Lincoln city status. Anyway, they had the last laugh because they won the league by four points and we got beat at Wembley by a team whose owner wanted to spend millions of actual Great British Pounds on a football ground made out of matchsticks.

Having a life outside of Tranmere proved to be surprisingly easy when we were dwelling in the depths of non-league. I still spent my Saturdays on the couch with an illegal stream of Phil Thompson’s nose and no money in my Betfair account, but it was a somewhat refreshing change to not be planning your life around Rotherham away on a Tuesday night. There wasn’t a chance that I was spending my free government money going to Dover or Torquay when I could spend it on weed and takeaways instead. The few aways that I did manage (hello, 20 minute train journeys to Guiseley and Halifax) were just soul crushing. The council pitch that Guiseley play on had a building site behind it, and absolutely zero incline on the terrace, which is a problem for a short arse like me. I went three times in three years and managed to see a grand total of about 40 minutes. Still worth it for the time I got sick of a 15 year old singing ‘sign on’ and told him in no uncertain terms that Sutcliffe killed his nan. There’s a couple of layers in that one.

As usual, the footballing gods conspired against us last year and we managed to get ¾ of our midfield injured before the play off final. I think we were one injury away from having a centre midfield partnership of Purple Aki and Pete Price, although on reflection the lizard would have had a better game than Lois Maynard. If he was under 6 foot, he’d still be knocking about playing for Manchester Met or wherever we signed him from, the absolute fucking fraud. I’m sure Aki would have put the fear of God into Forest Green as well. Imagine marking him from a corner, he’d have a field day squeezing muscles. In all honesty, we deserved another year in hell for that performance. I’d like to make an official apology for getting escorted off the premises for what can only be described as monumentally dickish behaviour after a long day in the sun.

Now that we’ve won there, I can finally say that Wembley is a corporate shithole without it sounding like sour grapes. Mr. Palios, tear down that arch! Christ alive, what an awful place it is to watch football. Notwithstanding the fact that it’s only ever 20% full for the National League, everything about it just drains you as a fan. It’s more like an airport hangar than an actual ground. I hear Tottenham are putting shops in their new gaff, something the Jaguars owner will almost definitely copy when he buys the place. I’m not a fan of London in general, but Wembley just takes the piss. If I can make it through the next 60 odd years of my life without ever going back, I’ll be happy.

The fact that I’ve got this far in without mentioning the referees is testament to how long the list of complaints about the National League is. Incompetent would be putting it kindly, because every single one of these clowns got their qualifications from the back of a Cornflakes packet. I’m well into my conspiracy theories, and the one about BT and Vanarama deliberately keeping us down in order to boost viewing figures sounds plausible enough, but that would require several doses of the dark arts that these morons don’t have the brain capacity for. It’s a hard job to referee a football match, made even harder if you have absolutely no common sense. The timewasting in that league is enough to test the patience of a saint. All the VAR nonsense at the World Cup is proof that the governing institutions have gone mental. You’d never finish a game in the National League if the refs had VAR. The first half against Ebbsfleet would still be going on. I could list hundreds of terrible decisions both for and against us and it still wouldn’t scratch the surface, but Ritchie Sutton getting sent off at Welling, Scott Davies being assaulted into the net at Barrow and Chester getting a penalty that was about three yards outside the box all stick out.

The last thing I fancy a rant about is the almost comedic lack of professionalism surrounding the entire setup. They absolutely ham it up to the BT cameras like the entire world has woken up at 12.30 to watch Woking v Eastleigh on a Saturday morning. Literally every tweet the official account has ever posted makes me cringe, the pundits are so painfully beige that they make Steve Claridge and his receding hairline look like Little Richard in comparison and Boreham Wood somehow managed to get away with charging to watch their highlights. The fucking cheek of it! It was a stress relief to unfollow them all, clicking each button and feeling part of my soul flowing back into me. At one point, we had no idea whether we were playing on Saturday or not, because the FA Trophy replay took priority over the league. Usually this is all sorted out as soon as possible, but because the NL fixtures are done by some fella writing them down in his ma’s kitchen, they’d got confused. They eventually told us on Friday afternoon that yes, your league game is on. I despair. Even the whole Solihull floodlights debacle got sorted quicker. Juventus’ match-fixing scandal had nothing on that, by the way. The 200 odd people who watched that replay were witness to us throwing that game. I don’t think I saw anyone in a white shirt break out of a jog, and I was all for it. I got to spend a lovely weekend in Solihull (not a patch on Birkenhead) and watch a game of football played in front of a crowd smaller than the Beechwood-Upton derby, with a fraction of the intensity. The perfect non-league experience.

I’ll finish this off by saying thank you to Mark and Nicola Palios, to everyone at the Trust and the TROSC, the Wirral Radio team, and every single season ticket holder. Without you, the club wouldn’t have climbed out of the pit. In fact, I think we’d have developed Stockholm Syndrome within the next few seasons and become like our Welsh friends. The turnaround and revitalisation of the entire structure of this football club gives us hope for the future. Not just blind hope, but optimism as well. When we were losing to Altrincham, I didn’t think that the suites would be pulling in money, or we’d have an academy setup in China. When Welling were putting us to the sword, I didn’t think we’d ever see a club that the fans are so fiercely proud of again. Thank you for not losing interest when I did. That day at Wembley has already been written about. Let us not emerge from non-league abyss blinking at the sunlight, desperate for comfort. Let us instead kick the door of League Two down, wielding dual scythes and behead Stevenage like an invading Dothraki horde.

Figuratively, obviously.