#there are later editions of the seventh and the handle that are also painted

[redstoneofaja]

Selected Japanese translations of Richard Stark’s Parker series, published by Kadokawa and Hayakawa in the 1970s.

Hayakawa had earlier published most of the series as part of their Hayakawa Pocket Mystery Book line.

In order of publication:

汚れた7人 / The Seventh, Kadokawa 1971

カジノ島壊滅作戦 / The Handle, Kadokawa 1971

死神が見ている / Deadly Edge, Kadokawa 1976

人狩り / The Hunter, Hayakawa 1976

犯罪組織 / The Outfit, Hayakawa 1976

弔いの像 / The Mourner, Hayakawa 1976

襲撃 / The Score, Hayakawa 1976

死者の遺産 / The Jugger, Hayakawa 1977

[writing-in-april]

Cinematic Coincidences

Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral Reader

(Spencer’s POV)- listen I just love his POV lol

Summary: Spencer can’t bring himself to go on another date that’s been set up for him- so he stands his date up. Spence seemingly can’t catch a break and runs into the date he stood up.

A/N: Hey heyyy- here’s my seventh fic for my 30 fics in 30 days for April!! This one was requested by @andiebeaword (I added a reference for your love of hallmark movies in this hehe)- this is the original request- I tweaked the characters involved just a small bit lol I accidentally end up defaulting to using the people on the dream team lol- im going to start working in later characters in the show into some stuff in upcoming works (I’m also rewatching the later seasons so that’ll help get me inspired) Im always looking for feedback on my fics or really to talk about anything with my followers so feel free to drop into my inbox- here!! Thanks for reading- y’all have been so sweet 🥰 and hope y’all enjoy!!

Warnings: Insecure Spencer, Getting stood up for on a date, Morgan and Garcia (just the team in general) not really understanding Spencer fully, one tiny sexual innuendo- I think that’s it nothing too bad this time around

Main Masterlist Word Count: 2.4K

This was not what I wanted to be doing today. Garcia had once again inquired about my love life- along with Morgan of course, wanting to find out about all the juicy details. I didn’t know why they continued to ask when it was obvious that my love life was about as exciting as watching paint dry.

I gave my normal response to these types of inquiries, brushing them off without sounding too hurtful. Unfortunately Garcia would not be satiated by my response, apparently she was now fed up with my dull love life and felt like she needed to be personally involved. Garcia was very near and dear to me, just like Morgan, but I couldn’t deny that this grated my nerves.

“We’ll make you a dating profile too! Maybe you’ll find someone cute to date- or maybe get some?!” Garcia was chipper as usual, with her eyebrows wiggling at her suggestion that I should have a one night stand. All that I felt from her words was dread.

The dangers of online dating swirled in my mind and I tried to protest, it came out more like a stammer though. Morgan then patted me on the back and piped up, giving his own opinion, “Yeah- I think it’ll be good for you, pretty boy.”

Again I wanted to protest, beginning to stammer out another reason why I didn’t think it was a good idea. I sighed heavily when I was cut off again, by Morgan and Garcia already planning on what pictures they were going to upload of me. At least I knew that they had my best interests at heart, they wanted me to be happy with someone- or get some like Garcia had mentioned earlier. Still, it didn’t change the fact that there was no way I’d ever want to go willingly on a date with someone I had met on the internet.

—-

My thoughts had not changed since Morgan and Garcia had set up the dating profile for me. There hadn’t been any person I had been on a date with that had successfully been able to keep me interested beyond a few conversations.

“No luck with the online dating?” Morgan had teased when I had walked in with my head held low. This endeavor was just making me realize how picky and undesirable I was. Why couldn’t I just find someone pretty and be happy with it?

Morgan’s face twisted from a smile into a frown when I didn’t answer him, making my way silently to my desk.

For the rest of the day the team tiptoed around me, sensing my sadness. There was part of me that was angry at them for thinking that I couldn’t handle a few bad dates. But, they were right. I couldn’t handle the sting of rejection or the disappointment of a date that didn’t live up to my expectations.

Emily always seemed to know how to cheer me up, so I did attempt some small conversation in the break room while we were both getting our coffee. She never gave me any pity like the others who just flashed me sad looks, unwilling to make any effort to help- or like Garcia and Morgan, they helped in the wrong way even if their intentions were pure.

Her solution to my problem did make my ears perk up a bit, “Hey- I saw that you’ve been down and that it’s been about the online dating Morgan and Garcia made you get into.” I nodded my head in confirmation then gesturing for her to continue while I poured copious amounts of sugar into my drink. Emily opted for mostly cream instead of sugar, stirring her coffee a little, then continuing her thought,”I wondered how you would feel about being set up on a blind date. It’s someone I know so maybe that would make you feel better about going on it? Instead of having to deal with technology that I know you despise.”

Emily had a way of seeing exactly how I was feeling and not just spitting out facts without solutions like the others. Her solution made me nervous of course, there would probably never be a date that I wouldn’t be nervous for. However, this option made me feel a little bit more hopeful about my prospects in the dating pool. It was someone that she knew and trusted enough to suggest them as a potential match for a coworker. Emily didn’t trust easy, I could trust her judgment on this despite my nerves.

I gulped down a large sip of my overly sweetened coffee, collecting my thoughts before then answering, “Alright- I’ll go.”

—

The date that I was supposed to go on was at a quaint cafe near work. Emily had even made the effort to make sure that I had been there before so I might be more comfortable.

At first I had been extremely excited for the date, even going so far as to pick out my outfit. I would have worn my purple button up, that was the one I got the most compliments in. Emily had told me some stuff that my date was interested in so I made sure to brush up on my knowledge by reading about the topics. I had even called back to the restaurant menu in my mind, preparing myself by picking out what I wanted beforehand. On one of my dates set up through the dating app I had stumbled on my choice for food, making the person unnecessarily snappy. I had to cover all my bases to minimize potential awkwardness on my part.

Self doubt began to creep in after I had gotten fully dressed. I had gotten ready way too early in anticipation for the date, now sitting on my couch tapping my foot impatiently. I looked at my watch that sat over my long sleeves watching the clock tick closer and closed to when I was supposed to leave.

Biting my lip in worry, my mind couldn’t help but wander over into my self doubts. I couldn’t help but ask myself why anyone would want to date someone as tall and lanky as me- or why would someone want to go on a date with someone that couldn’t keep their mouth shut about random topics that no one cared about.

My self doubt swallowed any confidence that I had begun to build up in preparation for the date. I knew Emily would be furious with me tomorrow when I went into work, I didn’t want her to find out through her friend though. Deciding to get it over with I pulled out the phone I never used and texted her, telling her that I wasn’t coming. I told her to give my regrets to my date, who at this point was probably waiting patiently for me at the cafe. Sighing in defeat I then retreated into my bedroom again, crawling under my covers.

——

Emily hadn’t been furious with me- well that was a lie, at first she had stomped up to me the next morning to chew me out. She became more disappointed than anything when she found out my reasonings. She hadn’t mentioned anything about how the person I was supposed to be going on the blind date with felt. Not that I really wanted to hear about it, it would only make me feel worse. All I got from her was a small remark mumbled under her breath, “Idiots- the both of you…”

For the next few weeks I tried in vain to push thoughts of my failed blind date out of my head. I had avoided going in the general direction of the cafe. Luckily I took the metro everyday to work otherwise I’d have to drive by it every day, and I already hated driving.

I was at the bookstore for used booksjust around the corner from the cafe that was supposed to hold my date a few weeks ago. This was the closest I dared to go near it in a while. Since then I hadn’t been able to go there anymore, even though I loved the coffee there. Immense guilt had wormed its way into my brain when I had tried to order something there a week ago. All I had done was stammer at the cashier before bolting out of there, just another addition on the list of embarrassing things that I’ve done in my life.

I was flipping through an old edition of pride and prejudice out of boredom, there hadn’t been anything interesting stocked on the shelves since I had last been here. Then a voice piped up through the air that had a bit of dust flying through it,

“Excuse me, sir- if you’re still looking at that book would you mind if I looked at the ones on the shelf behind you?”

It took me a second before I realized the person was talking to me. I then removed my eyes from the book to blink up at them a few times, then registering what they had said to me and moved out of the way.

Their eyes were still glued to mine, the bookshelf behind me that they had wanted to look at forgotten. An awkward chuckle was all we both could seem to manage as we looked each other up and down. Emily had shown me a picture on her phone of my date so I would have been able to spot them at the restaurant. My cheeks flushed hard once I realized who was standing before me. There was no doubt who this was, the date I had stood up the night before.

Silence then fell between us and not the pleasant kind, it was most definitely awkward. I couldn’t imagine how they must have been feeling after I hadn’t shown up last night. They probably had sat

“Um- hi…” They spoke hesitantly, wringing their fingers in trepidation. My jaw opened and closed a few times, trying to come up with anything to say.

“Hi!” Was all I could manage to squeak out, plus a small wave in their direction.

They wrung their fingers a few more times, seemingly trying to come up with a response. I was surprised they hadn’t hit me with one of the books near them out of anger. It would be a normal response to being stood up for a date, the trepidation and silence just served to unnerve me further. Eventually they spoke again, saving me from anymore awkward silence which in my opinion was worse than awkward conversation, “Um- sorry for um, standing you up uh- a few weeks ago.”

That made my eyes bug out of my head- they had done the exact same thing as I had? Insecurity soon swept in, trying to tell me exactly why they had not shown up without hearing their side of the story. I looked down at the book I was holding, reading a few words for a moment of reprieve. Taking a deep breath I asked quietly, not admitting to my own faults yet, “W-why did you um- not go? If you don’t mind me asking…”

A deep sigh was what I got at first, one that obviously had a lot of stress in it. They then did provide me with an explanation, despite their obvious embarrassment, Well- It had nothing to do with you- a simple explanation would be saying it was my insecurity’s fault.”

Not that I would ever want anyone to feel insecure, but I would admit that them saying that did make my own stress melt away. They had not gone for almost the exact same reasons that me. I decided to be upfront, giving them my own reasoning- though I wasn’t even sure they realized that I hadn’t gone as well. “I don’t know if Emily told you, but I um- stood you up as well. It wasn’t because of anything bad! It was really for the same reason as you.”

They then broke out into giggles after they had processed my words for a second, which were much more relaxed than the awkward ones from before. I didn’t blame them, it was a pretty funny coincidence that we’d both stand each other up only to run into each other not knowing what we had done.

“I feel like we’re in one of those cheesy Hallmark movies right now…” Their comparison only confused me, I had no clue what they were talking about.

“What’s a Hallmark movie?” More giggles came from them at my questioning, though for once I didn’t feel like I was being laughed at. I felt like they were laughing at the whole situation, not at me specifically like so many people had often done. Also, I couldn’t help but admit to myself that their giggle was very cute.

Once their giggles had subsided a little they asked me something that almost no one would ask the person that had stood them up, “Maybe I could tell you over a coffee? If you want to of course- Emily told me about how much sugar you like in it.”

My interest was peaked, making me further regret having stood them up in the first place. Though I tried to push that thought out of the way considering we had both done the same thing. It was time to let that go so I could go on a date with them finally. Seeing them in person and being able to glimpse part of their personality made me want to know more.

“Alright- sure.” I set down the book I had been passively reading, now completely disinterested in it. There was something far more interesting in front of me now compared to a classic book I had read over ten times.

We both walked around the corner, to the cafe that we had originally had our date scheduled at. Conversation flowed easily between us, showing me that Emily had been totally right to set us up initially. Her words now made sense to me, we were both a couple of idiots.

We then got our coffee, which had been much smoother of a transaction compared to the last time I had been here. I took note of how much sugar and cream they liked, just in case we were going to do this again. Sitting down at the closest booth I then asked, “So tell me about Hallmark movies?”

Ask Me Anything

—-

Tag lists (Message me if you want to be added):

All works: @shotarosleftpinky @oreogutz @90spumkin @kyra-morningstar @s1utformgg @takeyourleap-of-faith 😡😡😡

All MGG characters: @muffin-cup @willowrose99

Spencer Reid/CM: @calm-and-doctor @destiny-tsukino @safertokiss @slutforthegubes @onlyhereforthefanfics @jareauswifey

[dustedmagazine]

Dust, Volume 7, Number 8

Big Thief

Our August collection of short reviews contains more big names than usual with singles from Big Thief and Dry Cleaning, a digital compilation from Thou, live music from Obits and a side project from members of the Bats and the Clean. Never fear, there are obscurities as well, including an improv guitar player even Bill Meyer had hardly heard of, a Norwegian emo artist in love with Texas and a death metal outfit verging into psychedelia. Our writers, this time including Tim Clarke, Bill Meyer, Jennifer Kelly, Ian Mathers, Chris Liberato and Jonathan Shaw, like what they like, big or small, hyped or unknown. We hope you’ll like some of it, too.   

Marc Barreca — The Sleeper Awakes (Scissor Tail)

The Sleeper Wakes by Marc Barreca

Odd connections abound here. One might not expect the usually acoustic-oriented Scissor Tail Recordings to make a vinyl reissue of an electronic ambient music cassette from 1986, any more than one would expect its maker to currently earn his crust as a bankruptcy judge. So, let’s just shed those expectations and get to listening. Unlike so many lower profile electronic recordings from the 1980s, which seemed targeted for a space next to the cash register of a new age bookstore, this album offers a profusion of mysteries that compound the closer you listen to them. It’s not at all obvious what sounds Barreca fed into his Akai sampler. Japanese folk music? Church chimes? A log drum jam? Tugboat engines? One hears hints of such sounds, but they’ve been warped and dredged in a thin coat of murk, so that the predominant experience is one of feeling like you’re dreaming, even if your eyes are wide open.

Bill Meyer

Big Thief — “Little Things” / “Sparrow” (4AD)

Little Things/Sparrow by Big Thief

Who knows how much more music Big Thief might have released in the last 18 months if the pandemic hadn’t tripped them up? Given the creative momentum generated by 2019’s UFOF and Two Hands, it’s fair to assume the band have plenty of music waiting in the wings. “Little Things” and “Sparrow” arrive with no sign of a new album on the horizon, so are probably being released to promote Big Thief’s upcoming US and European tour. Both songs clock in at around five minutes and handle musical repetition in different satisfying ways. Reminiscent of Fleetwood Mac’s “Everything,” but hyped up on caffeine, “Little Things” feels like an exciting new direction for the band. It cycles through its whirlpooling, modulated acoustic guitar over and over, the frantic little sequence of chords never changing; the interest comes from the ways in which the rest of the instruments bob and weave in the ever-shifting, psychedelic mix. “Sparrow” is a more traditional Big Thief song, sparse and sad. Its melancholic sway is enlivened by some beautiful wavering vocal harmonies as Adrianne Lenker paints a picture of a Garden of Eden populated by sparrows, owls and eagles, culminating in Adam blaming Eve for humankind’s fall from grace.

Tim Clarke

Simão Costa — Beat Without Byte: (Un)Learning Machine (Cipsela)

Beat With Out Byte by Simão Costa

Piano preparation often makes use of modest resources — bolts and combs, strings or maybe just a raincoat tossed into the instrument’s innards. By contrast, Simão Costa’s set-up looks like took all of the entries in a robotics assembly competition and set them to work agitating a snarl of cables that met the pirated telecommunication requirements for an especially crowded favela. But whether it’s twitching motors or Costa’s own hands doing the work, the sounds that come out of his sound remarkably rich and cohesive. He stirs drifting hums, metallic sonorities, and stomping rhythms into a bracingly immediate sonic onslaught.

Bill Meyer

Cots — Disturbing Body (Boiled)

Disturbing Body by Cots

Disturbing Body is the low-key debut album by Montreal-based musician Steph Yates, who enlisted Sandro Perri to produce. Where the songs are pared back to mostly just vocals and peppy major-seventh chords on nylon-string guitar — such as “Bitter Part of the Fruit” and “Midnight at the Station” — comparisons with bossa-nova classics such as “The Girl From Ipanema” inevitably arise. Where the tempo is slower, the chord voicings are less sun-dappled, and Perri’s arrangements call upon a wider palette of instrumental colors, the songs venture into more interesting terrain, calling to mind a less haunted Broadcast. There’s an eerie sway to the opening title track, backed by rich piano chords and clattering cymbal textures. Fender Rhodes and the light clack of a rhythm track give “Inertia of a Dream” an uneasy momentum. And forlorn trumpet, percussion and piano situate “Last Sip” at closing time in a forgotten jazz club. There’s something evasive yet subtly intoxicating at work here, the album’s ten songs breezing past in half an hour, leaving plenty of unanswered questions in their wake.

Tim Clarke

Dry Cleaning — “Bug Eggs” / “Tony Speaks!” (4AD)

Bug Eggs/Tony Speaks! by Dry Cleaning

A few months on from the release of their excellent debut album, New Long Leg, Dry Cleaning have put out two more songs from the same sessions, which are featured as bonus tracks on the Japanese edition. For a band whose unique appeal is mostly attributed to Florence Shaw’s surreal lyrics and deadpan delivery, it’s heartening to hear further evidence that it’s the complete cocktail of musical ingredients — Shaw plus Tom Dowse’s inventive guitar, Lewis Maynard’s satisfyingly thick bass, and Nick Buxton’s driving drums — that alchemizes into their winning sound. The verse guitar chords of “Bug Eggs” are naggingly similar to New Long Leg’s “More Big Birds,” while the instrumental chorus has a yearning feel akin to album highlight “Her Hippo.” Maynard’s bass tone on “Tony Speaks!” is absolutely filthy, swallowing up most of the mix until Dowse’s guitar bares its teeth in a swarm of squalling wah-wah, while Shaw’s lyrics muse upon the decline of heavy industry, the environment, and crisps.

Tim Clarke

Flight Mode — TX, ’98 (Sound As Language)

TX, '98 by Flight Mode

In 1998, well before he started Little Hands of Asphalt, Sjur Lyseid spent a year in Texas at the height of the emo wave, skateboarding and going to house shows and listening to the Get Up Kids. TX, ’98 is the Norwegian’s tribute to that coming of age experience, the giddy euphorias of mid-teenage freedom filtered through bittersweet subsequent experience. “Sixteen” is the banger, all crunchy, twitchy exhilarating guitars and vulnerable pop tunefulness, its clangor breaking for wistful reminiscence, but “Fossil Fuel” waxes lyrical, its guitar riffs splintering into radiant shards, its lyrics capturing those youthful years when anything seems possible and also, somehow, the later recognition that perhaps it isn’t. It’s an interesting tension between the now-is-everything hedonism of adolescence and the rueful remembering of adulthood, encapsulate in a chorus that goes, “Well wait and see if there’s no more history/and just defend the present tense.”

Jennifer Kelly

Drew Gardner— S-T (Eiderdown Records)

S/T by Drew Gardner

Drew Gardner has been popping up all over lately, on Elkhorn’s snowed in acoustic jam Storm Sessions and the electrified follow-up Sun Cycle and as one of Jeffrey Alexander’s Heavy Lidders. Here, it’s just him and his guitar plus a like-minded rhythm section (that’s Ryan Jewell on drums and Garcia Peoples’ Andy Cush on bass), spinning off dreamy, folk-into-interstellar-journeys like “Calyx” and “Kelp Highway.” Gardner puts some muscle into some of his grooves, running close to Chris Forsyth’s wide-angle electric boogie in “Bird Food.” “The Road to Eastern Garden,” though, is pure limpid transcendence, Buddhist monastery bells jangling as Gardner’s warm, inquiring melodic line intersects with rubbery bends on bass. Give this one a little time to sit, but don’t miss it.

Jennifer Kelly

Hearth — Melt (Clean Feed)

Melt by Hearth

This pan-European quartet’s name suggests domesticity, but the fact that none of its members lives in the country of their birth probably says more about the breadth of their music. The closest geographic point of reference for the sounds that pianist Kaja Draksler, trumpeter Susana Santos Silva, and saxophonists Ada Rave and Mette Rasmussen’s make together would be Chicago’s south side. Their dynamic blend of angular structures, extended instrumental techniques, and obscurely theatrical enactments brings to mind the Art Ensemble of Chicago, even though the sounds on this concert-length recording rarely echo the AEC’s. But it is similarly charged with mystery and collective identity.

Bill Meyer

Klaus Lang / Konus Quartett — Drei Allmenden (Cubus)

Drei Allmenden (translation: Three Commons) treats the act of commission as an opportunity to create common cause. For composer and keyboardist Klaus Lang, this is a chance to push back against a long trend of separation and stratification, with musicians bound to realize the composer’s whim, no matter the cost. Invoking works from the 16th century, he penned something simple, flexible and open to embellishment. Then he pitched in with Konus Quartett, a Swiss saxophone ensemble, to get the job done. The three-part piece, which lasts 43 sublime minutes, amply rewards the submersion of ego. Lang’s slowly morphing harmonium drones and Konus’ long reed tones sound like one instrument, enriched by tendrils of sound that rise up and then sink back into the music’s body.

Bill Meyer

Lynch, Moore, Riley — Secant / Tangent (dx/dy)

Secant | Tangent by Sue Lynch, N.O. Moore, Crystabel Riley

Electric guitarist N.O. Moore is barely known in these parts. I’ve only heard him on one album with Eddie Prévost a couple years back, and the other two musicians, not at all. But on the strength of this robust performance, which was recorded at London’s Icklectick venue, it would be a loss to keep it that way. They combine acoustic sounds with electronics, courtesy of guitar effects and amplification, in an exceedingly natural fashion. Each musician also gets into the other’s business in ways that correspond to the one spicy suggestion made by one cook that elevates another’s dish to the next level. Susan Lynch’s clarinet and flute compliment Moore’s radiophonic/feedback sounds like two flashes of lightning illuminating the same dark cloud, and her vigorously pecking saxophone attack mixes with Crystabel’s cascading beats like idiosyncratically tuned drums. This is one of the first albums to be released on Moore’s dx/dy label; keep your eye out for more.

Bill Meyer

Maco Sica / Hamid Drake Tatsu Aoki & Thymme Jones—Ourania (Feeding Tube)

OURANIA by Mako Sica / Hamid Drake featuring Tatsu Aoki & Thymme Jones

Ourania is named for the muse associated with astronomy in Greek mythology, and the album has an aim for the stars quality. In 2020, Chicago’s Mako Sica lost not only the chance to play concerts, but one third of its number. Core members Brent Fuscaldo (electric bass, voice, harmonica, percussion) and Przemyslaw Krys Drazek (electric trumpet, electric guitar, mandolin) could have just hunkered down with their respective TV sets. Instead, they booked themselves three other musicians who make rising above circumstances a core practice. The duo convened at Electrical Audio with Hamid Drake (drums, percussion, Tatsu Aoki (upright bass, shamisen), and Thymme Jones (piano, organ, balloon, trumpet, voice, recorder, percussion), rolled tape for a couple hours, and walked out with this album. The 85 minute-long recording (edited to about half that length on vinyl, but the LP comes with a download card) exudes a vibe of calm, even beatitude, with twin trumpets and Fuscaldo’s echo-laden, nearly word-free vocals weaving though a sequence of patient grooves like migrational birds on the glide.

Bill Meyer

Mar Caribe — Hymn of the Mar Caribe (Mar Caribe)

Hymn of the Mar Caribe b/w Rondo for Unemployment by mar caribe

Some musicians burn to make something new; others generate attention-getting sounds designed to maximize the potential of their other earning activities; and others, well, they just want you to sway along with their version of the good sounds. Mar Caribe falls into that last category. This Chicago-based instrumental ensemble has spent most of the last decade maintaining a robust performance schedule, and it would seem that recording is pretty much an afterthought; a photo of the test pressing for this 7” was posted in May 2019, but the release show didn’t happen until August 2021. Sure, COVID can be blamed for part of the delay, but one suspects that mostly, these guys just want to play, and they didn’t bother to stuff the singles in the sleeves until they knew when they’d next be leaning over a merch table. The titular suspends anthemic brass and pedal steel over a swinging double bass cadence, and if there was a moment during the night when the band invited the audience to pledge allegiance to their favorite drink, this is what they’d be playing while they asked. Guitars lead on the flip side, whose busy twists and turns belie the implied laziness of the title, “Rondo For Unemployment.”

Bill Meyer

Mint Julep — In a Deep and Dreamless Sleep (Western Vinyl)

In A Deep And Dreamless Sleep by Mint Julep

These songs traverse a hazy, dreamlike space, diffusing dance beats, dream-y vocals and synth pulses into inchoate sensation that nonetheless retains enough rhythmic propulsion to keep your heart rate up. “A Rising Sun” filters jangly guitar and bass through a sizzle of static, letting tambourine thump gently somewhere off camera, as voices soothe and reassure. “Mirage” pounds a four-on-the-floor, but quietly, angelically, like a disco visited through astral projection or maybe a really rave-y iteration of heaven. There’s an ominous undercurrent to “Longshore Drift,” in its growly, sub-bass-y hum, but glittering bits of synth sprinkle over like fairy dust. This is indefinitely gorgeous stuff, ethereal but surprisingly energizing. Dance or drift, take your pick.

Jennifer Kelly

Monocot — Directions We Know (Feeding Tube)

Direction We Know by Monocot

Directions We Know is an LP of free-form freak-outs generated by an instrumental duo that includes one musician who you might expect to perpetuate such a ruckus, and one that you might not. The more likely character is drummer Jayson Gerycz, who may be known for keeping time with the Cloud Nothings, but has shown a willingness to wax colorizing in the company of Anthony Pasquarosa, Jen Powers and Matthew Rolin. The happy surprise is Rosali Middleman, whose singer-songwriter efforts have kept her guitar playing firmly in service of her songs. She doesn’t exactly abandon lyricism in Monocot, but the tunes serve as launching ramps for exuberant lunges into the realm of voltage-saturated sound. On “Ruby Throated,” the first of the record’s four extended jams, Middleman lofts rippling peals over a near-boil of  drums and churning loops. By the time you get to “Multidimensional Solutions,” the last and longest track, her wah-wah-dipped streams of sound have taken on a blackened quality, as though her overheating tubes have burned every note.

Bill Meyer

Obits — Die at the Zoo (Outer Battery)

Die At The Zoo by Obits

Few aughts rock bands held more promise than Obits. The four-piece headed by Hot Snakes’ Rick Froberg and Edsel’s Sohrab Habibion emerged in 2005 with a stinging, stripped-back, blues-touched sound. Froberg’s feral snarl rode a surfy, twitchy amplified onslaught, that was, by 2012 a finely tuned machine. I caught one of the live shows following Moody, Standard and Poor at small club in Northampton the same year this was recorded (so small that I was sitting on a couch next to Froberg, oblivious, for 20 minutes before the show), and what struck me was how well the band played together. The records sound chaotic, and that was certainly there in performance, but the cuts and stops were perfect, the surfy instrumental breaks (“New August”) absolutely in tune. At the time this set was recorded in the Brisbane punk landmark known as the Zoo, the band was near the peak of its considerable powers—and regrettably near the end of its run. Die at the Zoo is reasonably well recorded, rough enough to capture the band’s raucous energy, skilled enough so you can understand the words and hear all the parts. It hits all the highlights, blistering early cuts like “Widow of My Dreams,” and “Pine On,” the blues cover “Milk Cow Blues,” and later, slightly more melodic ragers like “Everything Looks Better in the Morning” and “You Gotta Lose.” The guitar work is particularly sharp throughout, its straight-on chug breaking into fiery blues licks and surfy whammy explosions. It’s a poignant reminder of a time when American rock bands played ferocious shows halfway across the world (or anywhere) as a matter of course and a fitting eulogy for Obits.

Jennifer Kelly

A Place To Bury Strangers — Hologram (Dedstrange)

Hologram EP by A Place To Bury Strangers

A Place To Bury Strangers returns with a new rhythm section and renewed focus on the elements that made its version of revivalism the loudest if not brashest of the New York aughties. Sarah and John Fedowitz on drums and bass join Oliver Ackerman on the five track EP Hologram which is the most concise and vital APTBS release for a while. For all the criticism of copyism thrown at the band since their early days, APTBS has always been as much about Ackerman’s production skills and feel for texture as musical originality and the songs on Hologram sound fantastic at volume. Beneath the sonic onslaught of fuzz and reverb, not a brick is misplaced in this intricately constructed sonic wall. True “I Might Have” is pure Jesus & Mary Chain and “In My Hive” a Wax Trax take on Spector but Hologram is an endorphin rush of guitar driven noise bound to make one forget the world, if only for a while.

Andrew Forell

Praises — EP4 (Hand Drawn Dracula)

Jesse Crowe’s work as Praises has been ongoing since 2014, but has shifted in tone, instrumentation and emphasis since then. While the first two EPs have more of a full, rock band feel, the third one and 2018’s full-length In This Year: Ten of Swords took things in a more electronic, sometimes industrial direction. It was an even better fit for the rest, probing creativity evident in Praises’ work, and 3/4s of the new EP4 are in a pleasingly similar vein. The echoing, ringing denunciations of “We Let Go” and “A World on Fire” are fine examples of Praises’ existing strengths, but the opening “Apples for My Love” is immediately captivating in a very different way. Gauzy and rapturous, it’s a reverie that keeps the satisfying textural detail of the other songs but turns them to different ends. It’s not something that was missing from Crowe’s work before — again, the other tracks here are also very good — but a reminder that what Praises has shown before is not the extent of what they can do.

Ian Mathers

The Sundae Painters — The First SP Single (Leather Jacket)

“This is a supergroup, is it not?” someone asked the Sundae Painters bassist Paul Kean on social media last year, to which he responded, “Some may choose that title. We prefer superglue.” Kaye Woodward, his wife and longtime bandmate in both The Bats and Minisnap, takes the lead vocal on “Thin Air,” one of the pair of A-sides found on their new band’s debut seven-inch. From the outset, Kean’s unmistakable bass playing and Hamish Kilgour’s (The Clean/Mad Scene) drumming lock into a psychedelic march, with the other instruments weaving like kites above, vying for position on the same breeze. “You fight your way down/You fight your way up/You wait for the dust to settle,” Woodward sings. A few gentle strums cut their way through the parade, and a guitar calls out gull-like from above, before everything trails off as if something potent has just kicked in. On the flip side, “Aversion” has an old friend-like familiarity to it, soundwise (if not lengthwise) sitting somewhere between VU’s “The Gift” and “Sister Ray.” Things begin a little stand-offish, though, like you’ve interrupted a guitar pontificating to a rapt audience — it turns its head to look you over, falling momentarily silent, before picking right back up where it left off. Kilgour’s spoken vocals join the conversation, as the song builds towards a groovy kind of fever pitch. “You look a little stoned,” he says, before responding to his own observation. “Well me I’m a little bit groggy/But it ain’t too foggy/I can see some way of getting out of here.” By this point, both guitars (played by Woodward and Tall Dwarfs’ Alec Bathgate) are full-on screeching and howling, and as the song sputters to a sudden finish, our man’s left waiting for someone to buy him “a ride out the gate.”

Chris Liberato    

Thou — Hightower (Self-released)

Hightower by Thou

Hightower is the latest in a string of digital compilations from Thou, most of which collect songs that have been previously released on small-batch splits, 7” records and other hyper-obscure media that briefly circulated through the metal underground. You might be tempted to pronounce that a cynical cash-grab, but Thou has posted Hightower (along with previous compilations, like Algiers, Oakland and Blessings of the Highest Order, a killer collection of Nirvana covers) on their official Bandcamp page as a name-yo’-price download. Thanks, band. Beyond convenience, Hightower has an additional, if a sort of inside-baseball, attraction. The band has re-recorded a few of its older songs with its latest, three-guitar line-up. Longtime listeners will recognize “Smoke Pigs” and “Fucking Chained to the Bottom of the Ocean,” which already sounded terrifyingly massive back in 2008 and 2007, respectively. The expanded instrumentation, new arrangements and better production give the songs even more power and depth, all the way down to the bottom of the effing ocean. Yikes. And there are a few additional touches, like K.C. Stafford’s clean vocals on “Fucking Chained…,” which provide an effective complement to Bryan Funck’s inimitably scabrous howl. Rarely has being pummeled and feeling bummed out been so vivifying.

Jonathan Shaw

Tropical Fuck Storm — Deep States (Joyful Noise)

Deep States by Tropical Fuck Storm

Fueled by exasperation as much as anger, the new album by Melbourne’s Tropical Fuck Storm rounds on the myriad ways in which the world has become a “Bumma Sanger” as leader Gareth Liddiard puts it on the eponymous song about COVID lockdown. A roiling meld of psychedelic garage garnished with elements of hip hop and electronic noise it’s close in method and mood if not sound to another Australian provocateur JG Thirwell whose Foetus project girded maximalist surfaces with rigid discipline. If the Tropical Fuck Storm sought to mirror current conditions, they succeed but lack of clarity in both production and intent makes Deep States a frustrating experience. Backing vocals from Fiona Kitschin (bass), Erica Dunn (keys and guitar) and Lauren Hammel (drums) leaven Liddiard’s blokey pronouncements and there are some good sounds and biting words but the band’s determination to overelaborate and underdevelop musical ideas makes this album seem like a lost opportunity.

Andrew Forell

Marta Warelis / Carlos “Zingaro” / Helena Espvall /Marcelo dos Reis — Turquoise Dream (JACC)

Turquoise Dream by Marta Warelis, Carlos "Zíngaro", Helena Espvall, Marcelo dos Reis

Turquoise Dream documents an example of an encounter that is a mainstay of avant-garde jazz festivals, in which out of towners mix it up locals that they may or may not know. This particular concert, which took place at the Jazz ao Centro Festival in 2019, is one such encounter that deserves to live past the night when it transpired. It featured three stringed instrument players who live in Portugal and a Polish pianist who is based in Holland. But they don’t sound like strangers at all. Violinist Zingaro, cellist Espvall, and guitarist dos Reis blend like flashes of sunlight reflecting off of waves, adding up to a sound that is bright and ever-changing. Warelis, who is equally resourceful with her head under the lid of her piano as she is at the keyboard, adding fleet but substantial responses to her hosts’ quicksilver interactions. The result is music that is resolutely abstract but closely engaged.

Bill Meyer

Wharflurch — Psychedelic Realms ov Hell (Gurgling Gore)

PSYCHEDELIC REALMS OV HELL by Wharflurch

Wharflurch is just plain fun to say — but there are at least two ways in which the name also makes sense for the band that has chosen it: it has a bilious, nauseous quality that matches the vibe of the pustulent death metal you’ll hear on Psychedelic Realms ov Hell; and if you separate the words, you can conjure a sodden, rotten wooden structure, swaying vertiginously over a marshy expanse of water, which is filled with alligators and decaying organic material. Imagine that sway, and that stink, and then imagine yourself collapsing into the viscous fluid, soon to be gator chow. Sounds like Florida, and that’s exactly from whence Wharflurch has emerged. Which also makes sense. Is Wharflurch’s music “psychedelic”? Depends on what you hear in that word. If you want to see hippies dancing ecstatically on a verdant, sun-drenched stretch of Golden Gate Park, then no. But if you have spent any time in the warped, dementedly distorted spaces that psychedelics can open (less happily perhaps, but very powerfully), then yes. Wharflurch likes to accent its meaty riffs and muscular thumps with weird flutters and electronic effects that frequently have a gastric, flatulent quality to them. The saturated and sickly pinks and greens on the album art do a pretty good job of capturing the music’s tones. So do the song titles: “Stoned Ape Apocalypse,” “Bog Body Boletus,” “Phantasmagorical Fumes.” Still game? I’m sorry. But I’ll also be standing right there next to you, on that wobbly, lurching wharf, watching the gators swim near.

Jonathan Shaw

Whisper Room — Lunokhod (Midira Records)

Lunokhod by Whisper Room

That the title of Whisper Room’s fifth album is taken from Soviet lunar rovers makes a certain sense, given how potentially frustrating it might have been for the trio to be working at such a distance. Generally their other records are recorded live, in one room, seeing Aidan Baker (guitar), Jakob Thiesen (drums) and Neil Wiernik (bass) exploring simultaneously, hitting whatever junctions of psychedelic/shoegazing/motorik sound come to them. With Baker in Berlin and travel understandably limiited, this time they recorded their parts separately, layering them together (and bringing in sound designer Scott Deathe to add the kind of pedal processing their sound engineer normally does live). The result certainly sounds as collaborative as ever, seven seamless tracks making up nearly an hour that makes the journey from the friendly, clattering percussion of “Lunokhod01” to the centrifugal ambience of “Lunokhod07” feel perfectly natural. Even though it explores just as much inner and outer space as Whisper Room ever have, there’s something very approachable about Lunokhod that makes it one of their best.

Ian Mathers

[itracing]

First Look: The BMW M2 CS Racing

The success story continues: With the BMW M2 CS Racing, BMW M Motorsport continues its tradition of close-to-production customer racing vehicles. The BMW M2 CS Racing is convincing with impressive driving performance and offers motorsport beginners the performance of a pedigree racing car at an attractive price. The BMW M2 CS also being presented to the global community today, is the perfect basis for the new entry-level model. The BMW M GmbH special edition is also set to make its US debut at the LA Autoshow.

BMW M2 CS Racing with electronics from the BMW M4 GT4.

The BMW M2 CS Racing is available from 95,000.00 Euros (plus value-added tax) and meets all the prerequisites for a successful entry-level model. The new customer racing car is powered by an S55 six-cylinder in-line engine with BMW M TwinPower Turbo Technology, which with a capacity of 2,979 cc in the racing version achieves between 280 hp (205 kW) and 365 hp (268 kW), depending on the Balance of Performance or Permit B classification. The maximum torque of 550 Nm is transmitted by a 7-speed dual-clutch transmission, which has been applied using specialist motorsport software.

Another highlight of the BMW M2 CS Racing is the engine management. As for the BMW M4 GT4, this will be via power sticks in the future, which enable various performance levels to be programmed and retrieved depending on the stipulated Balance of Performance.

Motorsport-specific driving aids such as ABS and DSC guarantee that newcomers will be able to handle the car safely. A mechanical limited slip differential with pre-load and separate cooling also comes as standard, as do specially manufactured drive shafts. Like its production counterpart, the roof is also made of carbon.

Club racing version with increased performance.

Delivery of the first BMW M2 CS Racing is planned for mid 2020. As with the predecessor models, the BMW M235i Racing and the BMW M240i Racing, several platforms around the world will be available to the new car apart from its main stomping grounds, the VLN Endurance Championship Nürburgring and the TC America. A Permit B version is planned for racing at the Nordschleife (GER) as part of the VLN.

BMW Motorsport is also already working on an upgrade package to increase performance to 450 hp. Further details and the start of delivery of these models will be announced at a later point in time.

BMW M2 CS on the road at 450 hp.

In the BMW M2 CS road car, the dual charged six-cylinder in-line engine based on the power unit of the BMW M4 Competition achieves 450 hp (331 kW). The power is unleashed perfectly onto the racetrack and the road via the standard 6-speed manual transmission or the optional 7-speed M dual-clutch gearbox, the adaptive M racing suspension previously reserved for the BMW M4 models, as well as cup tyres. The standard M racing brakes with painted red brake callipers or the optional M carbon ceramic brakes ensure the car slows down suitably.

In the interior, the lightweight M racing seat from the BMW M4 CS, with Merino and Alcantara leather covers, provide the driver with the perfect support even when they are bumped on the racetrack. The optional M sports steering wheel with an exclusive Alcantara covering, which like in a racing car has a red mark at the 12 o’clock position, gives that direct racing feeling.

Technical Data on the BMW M2 CS Racing.

Engine Type: Six-cylinder in-line, four valves

Technology: BMW M TwinPower Turbo Technology, direct injection, Valvetronic

Capacity: 2,979 cc

Performance: 280 hp (205 kW) - 365 PS (268 kW) via power stick (depending on Balance of Performance or Permit B classification)

Torque: 550 Nm

Exhaust system: Motorsport-specific exhaust system with racing catalytic converters. 

Endurance tests at the Nordschleife already passed.

The race car BMW M2 CS Racing has an intensive period of testing behind it. After initial outings at Miramas (FRA) and Portimão (POR) came the first appearance in race conditions at the fifth round of the VLN Endurance Championship Nürburgring. At the Nürburgring-Nordschleife, the most demanding racetrack in the world, BMW Motorsport Junior Beitske Visser (NED) and Jörg Weidinger (GER), test and development engineer at BMW M GmbH and a very successful participant in the BMW Sports Trophy over many years himself, completed the first endurance test and provided the engineers with valuable insights under race conditions. Further outings at the ‘Green Hell’ came in the seventh and ninth round of the VLN.

[junglejim43222yahoodotcom]

Unpacking toxic masculinity

The issue of toxic masculinity has been one of the most overlooked issues within issues of gender inequality. Though in the last couple years Millennials and Gen Z have decided to resurface the issue, there is still a lot of progress yet to be done. For starters, the issue of toxic masculinity seems to lie within, you guessed it, men. Though, sure, there are women who follow the outdated morals behind toxic masculinity, it is men who have kept these outdated beliefs alive throughout centuries. We live in a society where it is expected of men to retain their emotions, endure physical and psychological pain, and maintain a strictly masculine physique. In fact, in Proving Manhood by Timothy Beneke, Beneke states “American  men  take  pride  in  handling  alcohol  like  a  man—getting  sick  or  drunk,  becoming  in-competent, too easily can threaten one’s manhood. Boys  and  even  men  feel  superior  to  women  and  other men through their greater capacity to handle ‘grossness’: unpleasant sounds and smells, insects and rodents, dirt, and so on.". Since when do men getting alcohol poisoning become a measure of a “great man”? Yet, whenever a young, successful, independent young paints his fingernails it is considered utterly disappointing, and is considered a disgrace to masculinity? The true mark of a great man and even his manhood, should be his character and ability to overstep toxic masculinity, and only men truly comfortable with their masculinity are able to experiment with nail polish, wearing pastel colors, wearing jewelry, or even treating women as equals. Though I know the issue of toxic masculinity is an issue throughout the globe, and it differs within each culture, I do personally find it to be rather more intense in the U.S ... For example, Eric Anderson shares an interesting statistic in his piece Adolescent Masculinity In An Age of Decreased Homohysteria. Anderson reports “In other research on 16-year-old boys in the UK (Anderson, Adams & Rivers, 2012),  colleagues and I show that 40% of the heterosexual youths studied have kissed another male friend on the lips.” later also stating that “ Regardless of how one theorizes these findings, the data is compelling: not only do boys bond over talk of cars, girls, sports, and video games; but they now also bond over disclosing secrets to one another  and supporting each other emotionally (Anderson, 2011c); shopping together and dressing in softer more metrosexual ways (Pompper, 2010); accepting sexual minorities  (Keleher  &  Smith,  2012)...”. Reading Anderson’s reports completely stunned me. That sort of male behavior is completely unheard of for the most part in the U.S., especially amongst male teens. Instead, male teens will complement their male friend’s outfit and have the need to add on “no homo” in “fear” of appearing less masculine if they show any sort of admiration or caring towards another man. I am sitting here trying to come up with a logical explanation as to why U.S. men have this sort of approach to masculinity or “lack thereof”. Besides the obvious fact that our country has forever shunned minorities, there is the root to every problem. Yet what started all this? The Romans themselves freely would express their brotherly love, and that was over 2,000 years ago. Yet here we are today. 

Like all the other issues we are faced with in today’s age, it is difficult to pinpoint a solution to this issue, besides solely bringing awareness to the issue. I personally think it will take a whole generation to be able to really bring the change we want to see in our society. The best we (Gen Z) can do now, is to raise our future children with new morals and norms. Most importantly, raise sons to respect all other genders, sexualities, and forms of self expression. 

Anderson, Eric. Adolescent Masculinity In An Age of Decreased Homohysteria. The Meaning of Difference, seventh edition, 2016, pp. 492-497. UNM Learn, https://platform.virdocs.com/r/s/0/doc/553769/sp/180858863/mi/575303735?menu=table-of-contents

Beneke, Timothy. Proving Manhood. The Meaning of Difference, seventh edition, 2016, pp. 267-271. UNM Learn, https://platform.virdocs.com/r/s/0/doc/553769/sp/180858636/mi/575303750?cfi=%2F4%2F4&menu=table-of-contents

[aion-rsa]

MST3K Turkey Day: The Long History of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Thanksgiving

https://ift.tt/3l4KHUl

Sometimes a long-running TV show finds itself linked to a certain holiday. Community had Christmas. The Simpsons has Halloween. Brooklyn 99 had Halloween, then changed it to Cinco de Mayo for scheduling reasons. Saturday Night Live has…Election Day, I guess? I probably should have thought this through a bit more.

While Mystery Science Theater 3000 has done a handful of Christmas-themed episodes (one major one per host, at least), the series has a much deeper relationship with Thanksgiving. Turkey Day is essentially its legacy. It started on Thanksgiving and it always comes back to that one Thursday in late November, whether the show is on the air or not.

Back in 1988, Joel Hodgson created a new show idea inspired by a random image from the liner notes of an Elton John album, wherein a couple of silhouettes sit in front of a movie screen. He and some robot puppets would watch bad movies and crack jokes. While the 15-minute proof of concept footage of him watching The Green Slime never made it to air, the world would be introduced to Mystery Science Theater 3000 on November 24 as he and Crow (here voiced by J. Elvis Weinstein) sat through Invaders from the Deep.

Well, only a very small piece of the world would be introduced. The show aired on KTMA-TV in Minnesota. Regardless, the first time MST3K hit the airwaves, it was Thanksgiving night.

The episode – and really the entire KTMA-TV season – wasn’t great. The idea was there, but they hadn’t come close to hitting its potential. It still found an audience and about a year later, it was airing on the Comedy Channel. That first season, which had Joel Hodgson as Joel Robinson, Weinstein as Tom Servo, and Trace Beaulieu as Crow T. Robot, was also pretty rough. It wasn’t until the second and third seasons (where Kevin Murphy had taken over the Servo role) that MST3K really started to find its footing.

On November 28, 1991, to celebrate MST3K’s third anniversary, Comedy Central put together the very first Turkey Day marathon. Starting at midnight and ending at 6 AM on the following day (!), they would air fifteen episodes in a row, accompanied by various Thanksgiving-based bumpers and sketches.

Keep in mind, this was long before the days of The Daily Show and South Park, so Comedy Central’s pool of popular shows wasn’t the deepest. This was back when you’d turn on the channel in the middle of the day and see episodes of Soap or some ’80s movie about a mime joining a ninja academy. No really, that was a thing. They played it all the time.

In 1992, they kicked up Turkey Day a notch. While still a 15-episode marathon, it started on Wednesday, November 25 at 6 PM with the debut showing of The Beatniks. By the time they reached the home stretch at 10 PM on Thanksgiving night, they played the episode premiere for Fire Maidens of Outer Space. At midnight, to finish things off, a half-hour special called This is MST3K was aired.

They kept many of the bumpers from the first Turkey Day, added some more, and each episode was introduced with a segment where Dr. Forrester would force-feed TV’s Frank some kind of turkey dish themed to the featured movie.

1993 went even bigger by adding one more episode to the marathon, making the whole thing 32 hours long. This time, the framing bumpers took the form of clips from a party that an MST3K fan won via contest. Initially, Comedy Central wanted the guys from the show to put together some segments with a tiny budget, but it was probably for the better that they didn’t. By the time Turkey Day ’93 aired, Mike Nelson had taken over for Joel as the show’s host and that major transition was still less than a month old.

This time the marathon went from 6pm on November 24 to 2am on November 26. At 10pm on Thanksgiving night, they premiered the episode featuring Beginning of the End.

The next year’s special episode premieres were Kitten with a Whip (starting the marathon) and Zombie Nightmare (ending it). Using Zombie Nightmare worked out perfectly because that movie’s antagonist was played by none other than Adam West and who better to host the Turkey Day segments? Though in retrospect, Adam West was pretty much everywhere in the mid-90s, so it wasn’t the biggest deal ever.

Still, it was nice and even featured appearances from other MST3K targets like Robert Vaughn, Beverly Garland, and Mamie Van Doren. The main focus was Adam West cooking turkeys themed to each episode and delighting us with his smooth, tryptophan-laced voice.

The 1995 edition (officially called “MST3K Anthology” despite still airing on Thanksgiving) existed to debut the seventh season of the show, known for its meager six episodes. As Comedy Central was losing interest in the series, the marathon was shortened to fifteen hours. It also featured a rare inclusion of a Season 1 episode, The Crawling Hand.

What made MST3K Anthology so memorable was not that it was the last hurrah for Comedy Central’s annual marathons or the shortened string of episodes. It was for the premiere of Episode 701, Night of the Blood Beast and the interesting way that episode was handled. Throughout the marathon, episodes would be introduced via Dr. Forrester being forced to host an impromptu Thanksgiving party with guests including preexisting characters Jack Perkins (Mike Nelson), Mr. B Natural (Bridget Nelson), Pitch (Paul Chaplin), Kitten with a Whip (Kevin Murphy), and Michael Feinstein (also Mike Nelson). This led to the airing of Night of the Blood Beast, where not only were the host segments based on celebrating Thanksgiving, but it was shown that Forrester’s Thanksgiving party was still going on.

In later airings of that episode, the host segments were completely different and had zero connection to Thanksgiving. Everything inside the theater remained the same. They just took a holiday-themed episode and made it run-of-the-mill for the sake of easier reruns. The host segments from the MST3K Anthology version of Night of the Blood Beast are available as extras on various DVD releases.

MST3K would spend three seasons on the Sci-Fi Channel, but would only get one Thanksgiving marathon, taking place in 1997. Even then, it was a bit half-assed. The marathon aired from 7:30am on November 27 to 4am on November 28, but with a six-hour break in the middle to play a couple of Star Wars movies. It also lacked any special flavor to it, foregoing any special bumpers or segments. No episode premieres. Just a handful of Sci-Fi era episodes and a lengthy Star Wars break.

Then it was sixteen years of silence. MST3K was cancelled after its tenth season in 1999. Those involved in the show mostly split into two teams. Some followed Joel as he started his new venture Cinematic Titanic. Others followed Mike, whose failed series The Film Crew was followed by the much more successful RiffTrax. That left MST3K rights owner Jim Mallon, who tried to move forward with an animated web series starring the robots and…the less said about it the better.

Joel was seeing enough money coming to him from DVD sales to realize that despite being cancelled a long time ago, there were still people wanting MST3K. With a 25-year anniversary DVD set coming out, Joel decided to promote it with the return of Turkey Day. Turkey Day ’13 featured Joel introducing the six most popular episodes of the show, which he’d also give hints about ahead of time. Streamed online, the special ended with him at the dinner table with Servo and Crow, causing speculation amongst the fans.

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There was more speculation a year later when Turkey Day ’14 had the two bots regularly appear during the host segments, voiced once again by J. Elvis Weinstein and Trace Beaulieu. There would also be segments of Joel, Trace, and Frank Conniff sitting back and reminiscing about the history of this MST3K/Thanksgiving connection.

While riding the wave of the previous year’s success, this installment of Turkey Day was also promoting a DVD set Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Turkey Day Collection. The set mainly featured four random episodes (Jungle Goddess, Painted Hills, Screaming Skull, and Squirm), but with Servo and Crow hosting intro segments to give it the illusion of a Turkey Day marathon.

By early November of 2015, shit had hit the fan. Joel had bought the rights to MST3K from Mallon and started up a Kickstarter to raise money for new episodes. Wouldn’t you know it, Turkey Day ’15 happened right during said Kickstarter. The theme of the marathon was mostly Joel hanging out with different Kickstarter employees, but it also had newly-announced Season 11 host Jonah Ray Skype his way into the broadcast to introduce one of the episodes.

The following year was pretty chill, all things considered. The new season hadn’t started yet, but it was very much on the way. Just not far along enough to show us any clips or give us any juicy news. Joel and Jonah casually hosted the six most popular episodes as polled by the fans. Nothing too crazy.

The chillness continued in 2017. This time, things were hosted by Joel, Jonah, and Felicia Day. Things seemed pedestrian with another six episodes being streamed online, but there were two important things about this marathon.

First off, everyone realized that Joel’s arms are beefier than expected, netting him the nickname Swole Hodgson.

Second, after it seemed like they were off the air, it bounced back with a special announcement that – yes, Virginia – MST3K was coming back for a twelfth season on Netflix! It’s a Turkey Day miracle! Happy Thanksgiving, you ol’ savings and loan!

Turkey Day ’18 was a bit complicated. Rather than air on Thanksgiving, the marathon streamed on the Sunday prior, once again hosted by Joel and Jonah. What made it special was that Netflix had allowed them to include the Season 11 instant classic Cry Wilderness. As for why they didn’t air the Turkey Day marathon on actual Turkey Day?

Well, Thanksgiving was when MST3K’s twelfth season debuted all at once on Netflix. Also known as MST3K: The Gauntlet, the six-episode season was based around the idea of binging the whole thing in one day. Kind of like what MST3K fans have been using Thanksgiving for for many years. While it wasn’t on the exact date as the first KTMA-TV episode in 1988, both that debut and this debut happened on the same holiday and that’s good enough as a way to celebrate the show’s 30-year anniversary.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Unfortunately, much like the Comedy Central days, having a season of only six episodes was a bad omen. Merely a day before Thanksgiving 2019, it was announced that Netflix had canceled the show. The jerks. Any hope that Turkey Day ’19 was going to include some kind of announcement about a thirteenth season was immediately crushed and murdered like it was one of the Brute Man’s victims.

That said, the marathon that year did feature segments filmed behind-the-scenes at the third MST3K live tour. In a pre-COVID time, this was how Joel and the rest intended to keep MST3K in the minds of the public until the Netflix contract runs out and they can search out new outlets.

Up next is Turkey Day ’20. Right now, details are a little scarce, but they are figuring out the six movies via fan votes. A tournament of 24 episodes has been set up on MST3K.org, though I’m not quite sure how a tournament leads to six winners instead of just the one.

The post MST3K Turkey Day: The Long History of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Thanksgiving appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2JbZxLE

[bmwbavariamotors]

The new BMW X5 details at BMW Bavaria Motors

Did you know that BMW Bavaria Motors is the Gold Award winner at the seventh edition of In-Store Asia Awards 2012 in New Delhi? Yes, we received the award for the design and finish in the Transportation-Specialty Store Category on an all-India basis! Not, only this, but we also won the award of Excellence in BMW Financial Services Retail Business for 5 years in a row from 2011 to 2015. From Dealership of the year for 2014 and 2015 to Best BMW Retailer in Sustainability' Award Worldwide in 2017, we have always focused on all-round services and assistance to our clients.

We take extreme pride in hosting the largest BMW Aftersales facility in Western India which is most importantly a 100% Green building. As the sole dealers across Pune, Aurangabad, and Goa we offer dynamic and modern approaches in client handling and assistance. Our team of experts has been trained in various centers in Singapore, Malaysia, Germany, and Gurgaon in different areas of sales, after-sales, business systems, spare parts, and services. We won’t exaggerate but operational excellence and fresh thinking lie in our DNA.

The BMW X5 is a brilliant mix of innovation and technology. It is everything multiplied by X, as we call it! The BMW X5 is available in three different variants of X5 xDrive30d in SportX, X5 xDrive30d in xLine, and X5 xDrive40i in M Sport respectively. The new-age BMW X5 price in Goa ranges between 74,90,000 to 84,40,000. On the other hand, you can also find the used BMW X5 in Gao at a starting amount of 25,00,000.

Active Air Stream Kidney Grille, LED Headlights and Taillights, Roller Sunblinds, and rear side windows are some of the key features in the SportX variant. While the xLine has dynamic features like specific Air Inlets in aluminum, car key with chrome clasp, specific grilles in the front lateral air inlets in black high-gloss, etc. The BMW X5 in M Sport variant offer BMW Individual high-gloss Shadow Line, M designation on the sides, M sport brake with blue painted brake calipers, and much more for extraordinary performance. We promise luxury and comfort to every BMW owner!

[caveartfair]

What Happens When an Artwork Is Damaged Beyond Repair

Promotional image for “No Longer Art: Salvage Art Institute” at Museo de Arte de Zapopan, Mexico, 2019. Courtesy of MAZ.

On December 24, 2008, one of Jeff Koons’s famed balloon animals—an edition featuring a 10-inch-long red dog—fell and broke into several pieces. Five months later, after examining the sculpture and assessing the damage, insurance company AXA Art determined that it would cost more to repair than the sculpture was worth. AXA paid the owner the insurance premium, declaring the work a “total loss.” The pieces of the broken balloon dog were transported to a large AXA warehouse, where the dog joined hundreds of other “totalled” artworks.

In May 2009, the same month Koons’s sculpture officially exited the art market, New York–based artist Elka Krajewska was talking with her neighbor Rosalind Joseph, who works at AXA in public relations, about these warehouses for so-called “salvage art.” Krajewska was intrigued by the concept of what was once considered a work of art being demoted to an object with no value beyond its materials. In response, she came up with the idea for a museum of salvaged art, a place where these totalled former artworks could find new life in the conversations and philosophical questions they spark: What defines an artwork? How do we determine its inherent value? Is there such a thing as objective value?

Installation view of “No Longer Art: Salvage Art Institute”at Museo de Arte de Zapopan, Mexico, 2018. Courtesy of SAI.

Over the next three years, Krajewska registered her Salvage Art Institute (SAI), met with people at AXA, visited their warehouse, and—in concert with Columbia University’s Graduate School of Architecture, Planning, and Preservation—was able to secure a gift of about 40 damaged pieces for the institute’s collection. In late 2012, SAI opened its first exhibition, “No Longer Art,” at Columbia’s Arthur Ross Gallery, featuring its recently acquired collection of totaled art. Among the works were a water-damaged Giacometti drawing, a torn painting by Alexandre Dubuisson, and Koons’s broken balloon dog.

Although Krajewska is an artist, she thinks of SAI more as an educational tool or a means to spark discussion, as opposed to an art project. She said the value of displaying salvage art is the conversation. “It opens up your head and your understanding of what art can be and how we feel about it.”

Matthew Wagstaffe, Krajewska’s long-time assistant, concurred. “These things lie at the intersection of so many areas of expertise,” he said. The liminal status of these damaged works draws interest not only from the art and insurance worlds, but also the wider realms of law, economics, sociology, philosophy, and even literature. (In Ben Lerner’s 2014 novel, 10:04, there’s an “Institute for Totaled Art,” inspired by SAI.) Wagstaffe added that there’s a “strangeness in the objects,” as well as a “degree of accessibility to them,” despite the verbose insurance claims governing their status.

Non-art on tour

Visitors at “No Longer Art: Salvage Art Institute” at Museo de Arte de Zapopan, Mexico, 2018. Courtesy of SAI.

Ever since SAI’s first exhibition, the collection has been touring the world. Each exhibition is different, but they all have a few things in common: Visitors are encouraged to interact with and touch the objects; each object is displayed on a moving cart, so people can rearrange the exhibition space as they please; and if they want to find out more about the individual objects, visitors can flip through binders of redacted insurance claim documents tracing damage, declarations of total loss, and transfers of ownership.

At SAI’s most recent exhibition, at Mexico’s Museo de Arte de Zapopan, Wagstaffe said museum security “had trouble with the fact that viewers had to touch and engage with the art. It goes against the basic rule of a museum.”

“I picked up the Koons, and suddenly I was surrounded by security telling me to put it down,” Krajewska remembered. The guards called the museum’s director, which sparked a discussion of the meaning of the exhibition. Krajewska loved it. “There’s a playfulness around the concept of what we value,” she said. Ultimately, Krajewska and the security officers compromised: Visitors could touch the art, but they had to ask a guard for permission first.

Visitors at “No Longer Art: Salvage Art Institute” at Museo de Arte de Zapopan, Mexico, 2019. Courtesy of MAZ.

It’s not just museum guards who are uneasy about SAI’s collection, watching as visitors smudge a drawing with their fingers or put their hands through a hole in a painting. The shippers also worry. “Shipping is a tricky endeavor,” Wagstaffe said. “There’s a fear that when you re-engage, you bring back that value, so there’s never insurance on the shipment. You remove something from having monetary value and, at every turn, people are trying to bring it back into that.”

At every step, Krajewska and Wagstaffe are diligent to not let any object in SAI’s collection gain value. It’s one of SAI’s nine policies, which collectively read as a kind of manifesto. The first policy is akin to a mission statement: “SAI is a haven for all art officially declared as total loss, removed from art market circulation and liberated from the obligation of perpetual valuation and exchangeability.” An important part of this liberation is the removal of the artist’s name from the object. (An artist’s signature creates value, after all.)

The seventh policy mandates: “The signature of the adjuster meets and cancels the signature of the artist.” In a further effort to liberate its damaged works, when SAI displays its collection, the pieces’ titles list their object number, materials, history of damage, and former artist and title—for example, SAI 0015: materials: aluminum, porcelain; size: 10” x10” x 3”; damage: 12/24/2008, shattered in fall; claim: 05/11/2009; total loss: 05/20/2009; production: 1995; artist: Jeff Koons; title: Red Balloon Dog, Ed. 51/66.

Embracing change and chance

Installation view of “No Longer Art: Salvage Art Institute” at Museo de Arte de Zapopan, Mexico, 2019. Courtesy of MAZ.

Inevitably, pieces in the SAI collection undergo further damage, and Krajewska loves how they change over time. The collection includes a diptych drawing made with gunpowder that people tend to smudge with their fingers while handling; when they touch another object afterward, they leave gunpowder fingerprints behind. These kinds of acts connect viewers to the objects, but also tie the objects to one another in a very unique way. Krajewska documents these further degradations in extensive reports on individual objects she keeps in her studio. She sees them as living objects, and her documentation is a history of their lives.

Amid all the meticulous documentation of SAI’s activities and collection, there’s an equally strong element of chance to the project. Krajewska is the first to admit that SAI was formed under extremely serendipitous circumstances: the neighbor who happened to work at AXA; AXA CEO Christiane Fischer’s improbable enthusiasm for the project; Columbia University’s initial willingness to support it. The chance encounters didn’t stop there. Ben Lerner wrote about a fictionalized SAI because Krajewska liked how he described art in his first novel, Leaving the Atocha Station (2011), and called him out of the blue to talk about her new project. Wagstaffe met Krajewska because a friend of his had a studio next to hers. Most of SAI’s travelling shows are the result of curators asking to borrow certain objects or the whole collection. And, at the root of the institute, there’s the randomness of how objects get damaged in the first place.

There’s more chance in SAI’s immediate future: In May, Columbia told Krajewska that the SAI collection would have to move out of their storage space before the end of the year, so Krajewska and Wagstaffe are looking into other options—including a dream of transferring everything to permanent display on a houseboat. Krajewska is an avid sailor, so the problems of both storage and shipping would be solved in one fell swoop. Plus, as Wagstaffe pointed out, “marine insurance marked the early days of insurance, and sailing through international waters means even more liberation for the collection.”

Over time, Wagstaffe has become fascinated with the very idea of insurance, which seeks to anticipate that which can’t be foreseen. “We’re up against things that exceed our ability to change them,” he said. “There’s a strangeness in humans trying to deal with disaster in this very dry language.”

New values

Last fall, Krajewska was preparing SAI’s collection for shipment to Mexico when she came across an unopened box from the original 2012 shipment of works from the AXA warehouse. Inside she found a large, gold pendant with an etching of a bearded face and a large dent suffered in apparent fall. The signature was still legible: “Picasso.”

Around the same time, Therese Patricia Okoumou—the woman who climbed the Statue of Liberty on July 4, 2018, in protest of the separation of migrant families at the U.S.–Mexico border—was found guilty of committing federal crimes. As Okoumou was preparing for her sentencing, Krajewska was working on a special SAI project she said would “allow young students preparing for college in the humanities to interact with our inventory on their own terms,” she said. “Patricia seemed a perfect community liaison for that program.” When Krajewska learned the judge might be more lenient in sentencing Okoumou if she had an employment opportunity lined up, she swiftly wrote up a job offer letter to present to her prior to sentencing.

Krajewska showed up to federal court last March for Okoumou’s sentencing wearing the Picasso pendant around her neck as a kind of good-luck charm. Okoumou avoided jail time and was let off with probation. For Krajewska, the episode showed the pendant had taken on new “cultural value.” After all, it hasn’t been a “real” Picasso in years.

from Artsy News

[biofunmy]

Ahoy There, Mommy! Family Sails Around World on YouTube

NEWPORT, R.I. — They met in Ios, Greece: locking eyes across the town square, both in their 20s then. (She had noticed his distinctive mustache.) Elayna Carausu was playing guitar and singing for a travel company; Riley Whitelum was living on the sailboat he had bought with money saved from working for years on oil rigs.

When he told her had a boat, she thought it was a pickup line.

Luckily he had learned a few things in the months before that encounter. Despite having grown up, like Ms. Carausu, mostly in coastal Australia, Mr. Whitelum had no sailing experience before he bought a barely used 43-foot Beneteau from three bickering Italians.

Ms. Carausu was, thank heavens, not on board the night it nearly sank. It was moored off Dubrovnik, Croatia, slowly taking on water from a hidden leak, when it was swamped by the wake from a fishing boat.

Mr. Whitelum had kept the bilge pumps off to save electricity, a rookie mistake, and he awoke to a cabin awash in water. After pumping it out, he turned to Google: “My boat is sinking, what do I do?”

Google responded, koan-like. “‘All boats are sinking,’” he recalled reading. “‘The main factor is how fast. Don’t panic. Find the source of the leak.’”

Six years later, Mr. Whitelum, now 32, not only no longer has to ask Google for help, he and Ms. Carausu, 26, have also become YouTube stars for their adventures at sea.

More than a million people subscribe to their channel, Sailing La Vagabonde (the name of their boat), which has chronicled their life aboard in endearing, instructive and sometimes terrifying videos: two Atlantic and one Pacific crossings; maggoty trash; broken equipment; storms and becalmings; scaldings and other injuries; the boredom of weeks offshore when you’ve read all your books; would-be pirates; and this year, a stowaway, their 10-month-old son, Lenny.

There are many, many sailing YouTubers, including Brian Trautman, a former Microsoft analyst, and his brother, Brady. Their channel, named for their boat, SV Delos, has almost 356,000 subscribers, and patrons can apply to be crew online.

And there are many attractive people exploring beautiful locations clad only in their bathing suits, as Ms. Carausu and Mr. Whitelum often are.

But in this sprawling universe that also covers the shred guitarists, the dadaist live streamers, the haul girls, the van dwellers and the extreme eaters, the couple stands out because they are good television; escapism without the queasy aftermath. Joshua Slocums for the digital age, they offer a view of life in authentically challenging circumstances, in contrast to the manufactured dramas the medium typically invites.

Since they began posting in late 2014, Ms. Carausu and Mr. Whitelum’s videos have become more polished, thanks to a drone, multiple cameras and editing help. “Our Morning Routine Onboard,” posted at the end of May, has nearly three million views.

Maybe what compels is simply their competence and equanimity. There is no whinging on board La Vagabonde.

Or maybe it’s the accent, shown off when Mr. Whitelum, for example, reads David Foster Wallace, his favorite author. It is doubtful that any member of the badly behaving crews on “Below Deck,” the Bravo reality show about life on megayachts now in its seventh season, is passing around copies of “The Pale King.”

Trading Up

On a recent Saturday, the couple were at home on their catamaran, which was docked at Gurney’s Newport Resort & Marina. Lenny was gnawing an apple and playing with a USB cord. He has barely any baby gear, and fewer toys: a Jolly Jumper; a baby seat; a stick, a triangle and a pair of tiny cymbals.

“To explain the obvious,” Mr. Whitelum said, “boat living is enforced minimalism.”

The boat’s engine was broken and they had been in town waiting for parts for over a week, guests of Sean Kellershon, the dock master at Gurney’s.

Mr. Kellershon has been following their adventures for years; when he saw that they were heading north after months in the Bahamas, he offered them a spot at the marina. “They just seemed like really cool people,” he said.

Mr. Whitelum was wearing what looked like a Star Wars T-shirt, except that Mark Hamill’s face had been replaced with his own; Carrie Fisher’s with Ms. Carausu’s; and under Darth Vader’s helmet was Lenny. Designed by a fan, it’s La Vagabonde merchandise, $29, made by an ecologically conscious company in Los Angeles.

The couple sells shirts, hoodies, totes, sailing guides and cookbooks they have written from their website, mailed in compostable envelopes. But they make most of their living from patrons: about 3,500 subscribers who pay $3 to $10 for early access to the videos and other perks, like the chance to meet the couple for dinner and a sail, perhaps, if La Vagabonde comes to their town.

Ms. Carausu and Mr. Whitelum’s living costs are moderate. Ms. Carausu estimated they might spend $400 every two weeks on groceries in places they can catch their own fish, and $400 every two months or so on diesel fuel. They run their engine as little as possible, and charge their batteries with solar and wind power.

Still, boat maintenance is expensive. Conventional wisdom says that once a boat is more than two years old, it costs 15 percent of its purchase price every year. Their elegant and airy new boat, a 48-foot Outremer, is about two and a half years old, and lists for about $780,000.

After having seen one in Los Roques, an archipelago off Venezuela, Mr. Whitelum wooed the company, which built a boat designed specially for the couple, and arranged a lease they could pay monthly at a slightly discounted rate.

On forums like Reddit, fans have debated the couple’s good fortune. Had they sold out? Were they still relatable? Could you learn from their videos if they were sailing such a high-end craft? Was their video making work anyway?

But as one poster noted, “ … people think that just anyone can get a GO PRO and do a YouTube Channel, get on Patreon and make hay. It just does not work this way. It actually takes quite a bit of onscreen talent and editing skills to get viewers … I’ll admit it. I just like these people.”

Mr. Whitelum and Ms. Carausu did not set out to be YouTube personalities. Mr. Whitelum skipped university and started a business digging trenches for Australia’s phone company before going to work on oil rigs for eight years. Between three-week shifts, he backpacked around the world, intent on saving his money.

At the start of a trip through South America, he broke his neck in the surf at Copacabana beach in Rio. The surgery temporarily paralyzed his vocal cords, and he couldn’t speak or work for six months. Though he had sailed only once, a miserable three days beating into the wind off Southern Australia, he said, it was his dream to buy a boat and learn how to handle it.

“‘O.K., so you’re going to be alone forever then,’” a friend predicted darkly.

‘What About the Sharks?’

Ms. Carausu had been a tomboy with two older brothers who learned to ride a motorcycle before she ever got on a bike; she learned to drive a motorboat before graduating from high school, where her curriculum included marine studies and aquaculture.

Afterward, she worked as a dive master in Queensland, Australia, living in a Kia van she painted and fixed up until the fateful trip to Ios. A travel company had hired her after seeing her in videos she had posted on Facebook, and she quit two weeks early to go sailing with Mr. Whitelum.

They had known each other barely more than a month when he said, “It would be great if you’d sail the world with me.” Ms. Carausu decided to sell all her belongs and go for it.

“I had always hung around guys who didn’t have any goals and here was this sailor guy who just got stuff done,” she said. “I knew he was going to go far, and I wanted to be a part of that.”

“‘What about the waves? What about the sharks?’” Ms. Carausu remembered her mother saying. “Deep-ocean sailing for her was a combination of ‘Jaws’ and ‘The Perfect Storm,’” which was one reason Ms. Carausu began posting reassuring footage of their trip, using a Canon Power Shot.

The first videos are very much like home movies, charting progress south from the Mediterranean to Cape Verde, and then across the Atlantic. “I saw something good in what we were doing,” Ms. Carausu said, “and I thought people would be interested. I wanted to put them up on YouTube, but Riley wouldn’t let me.”

But by Malta, a month in, he had relented. Within a few weeks of its posting, their first video had over 70,000 views. “She was flipping out, and I was like, ‘Cool, but what does it mean?’ For five months it was still a hobby,” Mr. Whitelum said.

After their first Atlantic crossing, funds were low. By Grenada, they were broke. As they prepared to fly home to work, having hauled the boat out of the water there, they announced their plans in a video to let their community know that would be the last for a while.

Subscribers turned into paying patrons by the hundreds. It took some time, however, for Mr. Whitelum to wrap his head around the idea of being crowdfunded. “That was really hard for me,” he said, “taking money from strangers.”

The filming process typically takes three days; after Lenny’s birth, Ms. Carausu hired an editor to make the initial cuts, though she puts the finishing touches on before posting. They hope to keep sailing, boat-school Lenny and continue to make videos, Kardashians-like, but wholesome and afloat.

Ms. Carausu has designed a line of swimwear she calls Vaga Bella Swim, made from recycled, ocean-harvested plastic trash, and plans to donate the proceeds to a charity.

“I’ve always been dreaming of the perfect bikini,” she said. “Something that looks a little bit sexy, but that you can spearfish and dive in without having a body part fall out.” The couple is also hoping to turn the boat into a vessel with zero or low emissions.

Once their engine was fixed, they rode a nor’easter to the Annapolis Boat Show in Maryland, surfing 30 knots of wind for three nights and four days, to meet up with hundreds of patrons there.

Currently they are sailing to Charleston, S.C., where they will leave the boat with friends for two months so they can return home for the Christmas holidays. Then they’ll take the boat through the Panama Canal, and across the Pacific to Australia, a first for them, and circumnavigate their home country, with all the challenges that will bring.

“One year on a boat is like 10 on land,” Mr. Whitelum said. “Now it’s as if we’ve been married for 50 years. If you’re not sure about a partner, take them sailing.”

Sahred From Source link Travel

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[manojvarmaposts-blog]

A Full Review Of HP Spectre 13 And Still It Will Ultraportable King ?

What you need to know

This updated Spectre 13 is still HP's top ultra-portable model. Although the chassis is small, this notebook is equipped with Intel's latest Coffee Lake Core i7 processor and offers two RAM and SSD storage configuration options, which I will detail below.

Another notable addition is the touch-enabled 4K display, the lack of original configuration, as well as some subtle design changes and new white and silver paint jobs.

Price and Competition

HP's latest Spectre 13 Core i7-8550U model starts at £1,400 and comes with 8GB of RAM and 512GB of SSD storage. Add it to 16GB of memory, add a 1TB SSD, and you'll see a £1,700 machine.

The same designated replacement product includes the 2018 Dell XPS 13, which will bring you back to around £1,549. Apple's MacBook Pro is also a strong contender with a seventh-generation Core i5 processor, 8GB of RAM and 256GB of SSD storage for £1,449.

Design

This is HP's Golden Boy - almost literally - so it's no surprise that the latest Spectre 13 looks as gorgeous as the first, with "light gold" details and edges on the hinges. Every aspect of the design is great: ceramic white, carbon fiber and aluminum chassis are reassuring and sturdy, just 10.4mm, the lid is closed, it is thinner than the 2017 Apple MacBook Pro. It weighs only 1.1Kg and is a bit lighter.

Downgraded to the back of the unit, next to the fan port is a separate USB 3.1 Type-C port and a pair of Thunderbolt 3 powered USB 3.1 Type-C ports. That's all you get from the connection, you'll use one of them to charge your device, you need to do it often, but there will be more later. For full-size USB connectivity, HP includes a USB Type-C to USB Type A adapter and a USB-C to HDMI dongle for monitor connectivity.

Keyboard and Touchpad

Typing on Spectre 13's keyboard is a pleasant thing: the increased travel on the ultra-light MacBook Pro keys has a huge impact on typability, and each Scrabble-tile key has enough distance from its neighbors to Keep typing errors to a minimum. Tactile, the amount of mechanical feedback is as good as any other ultra-portable laptop keyboard, which is impressive for thin and light notebooks.

The large glass top touchpad is equally impressive, although it's a bit short (and would be even bigger if HP moved the keyboard up), it would do a good job. My only complaint is that the comprehensive click action is a bit biased for me.

Display and Speaker

The Gorilla Glass covers a 13.3-inch 3,840 x 2,160 resolution IPS display. Our X-rite i1 Display Pro colorimeter reports an sRGB color gamut coverage of 95.6%, and at maximum brightness, the HP Spectre 13 reaches 351 cd / m2, which allows the display to be used in all areas except direct sunlight. .

Color accuracy may be better, with an average Delta E of 2.71 and a maximum of 6.07 (lower and better), while the Huawei Matebook X Pro's Delta E data is 1.27 and 2.53, respectively, making this ultra-portable product eclipsed . The contrast of the screen is 1,497:1, however, this helps the image look powerful and solid on the screen.

The Bang & Olufsen brand speaker array at the top of the keyboard is also praiseworthy, producing clear, clear audio and rich volume. With such a thin device, you often hear obvious hum and hum from the chassis when the speaker vibrates to full, but this is not the case. The Spectre 13 handles the booming Godound of Warsoundtrack by Bear McCreary.

Performance and Battery Life

HP's ultra-portable standard carrier squeezes out amazing power inside. Intel's quad-core Core i7-8550U processor powers both configurations - clocking at 1.8GHz and maximizing clock speed to 4GHz - our evaluation unit comes with 8GB of LPDDR3 memory and up to 16GB of end configuration.

In our demanding 4K benchmark, the latest Spectre 13 scored 108 points in the image editing test, 68 points in the video editing, and 46 points in the multitasking test. Combined with these scores, Ghost 13 achieved an overall result of 63, a 46% increase over the 2016 model.

Judgment

The HP Spectre 13 is more refined and elegant than the MacBook Pro, and still has the best ultra-portable laptop. It costs as much as £1,400, but this laptop not only sees the bee's knees, but also has the performance to support it.

However, the short battery life of the Spectre 13 does weaken its ultra-portable credentials, and in this regard you will find better alternatives elsewhere. Dell's latest XPS 13, although not as gorgeous or lightweight, can reach 10-ho

 Are you looking for a HP repair centre in the UK? Then HPrepairer, is the best place offering 12 months warranty on the repair service they provide.

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