#there are five stages of grief and best believe it eddie diaz will set himself in the first one for as long as possible

[notasecrettelepath]

Update!

In this chapter, Eddie starts to Lose It™ (not that he would admit it (it also for sure has nothing to do with buck having a new boyfriend btw)), Buck gets a new couch, and the word "Fine" is repeated 34 times.

Chapters: 5/20 Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Rating: M | Words: 36k (slow burn babey)

Chapter Snippet:

Once, at Buck's request, Eddie had watched a documentary about a tribe deep in the Amazon rainforest. When the boys of the tribe reached twelve years old, they could go through a rite of passage to become men. For the rite, they had to put their hands inside gloves filled with Bullet Ants, one of the most painful insect bites on the entire planet. They kept their hands in the gloves as they danced and the ants stung. And Eddie was horrified. As a father, as a son, as a man himself. But he kept wondering about it. Wondering what it’d feel like for him — to earn his manhood through one single ritual. Not having to slowly learn and muddle his way through it. Not having to be repeatedly punched in the face by his failures at it. Thrown into the Texas dirt, dragged through the Afghanistan desert, crushed by 40 feet of Californian earth. The thought made him at ease. Attaining manhood by trading in a few days of semi-unbearable pain. Eddie had had quite a few of those already. But they didn’t make him feel more like a man. He just kept fucking failing.

Read Chapter 5 on AO3.