#there are also people who know how the archive warning system works but just dont think it should work that way

[blanket-fish]

Ok so AO3 has just announced changes to their terms of service. Mostly it's just rewording ambiguous phrasing and clarifying some points. But they are also changing the archive warning 'Underage' to 'Underage Sex' (because some people were using it for like, teenagers kissing or for underage drinking, which isn't a massive problem but it's not what the tag is for)

It's a minor change and should be a non issue, but I've seen people saying that AO3 isn't requiring you to tag underage sex anymore, which is categorically untrue. I do however know why they think this, and its a combination of not fully reading the updates and a misunderstanding of how the archive tag system works in the first place.

You can find the full wording on AO3 itself but the relevant part is as follows: "If you have a work that carries the "Underage" warning and you don't want it to display the "Underage Sex" label, you can replace it with the "Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings" label at any time."

Any fic that currently has the 'Underage' archive warning will be updated to have the 'Underage Sex' warning instead. If for some reason you don't want that, what the above statement is saying is that you can use 'Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings' instead.

Makes sense. However, if you don't understand the archive warning system, you might interpret that as not being required to tag underage sex.

The way it works is that there are five archive warnings: 'Underage', 'Rape/Non-con', 'Graphic Depictions of Violence', 'Major Character Death', and 'Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings'. There's also 'No Archive Warnings Apply', which is used when none of the others are relevant.

The site classifies the first four as specific archive warnings (meaning they refer to a specific topic) and 'Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings' as a non-specific warning, which means that a work tagged with it could contain any archive warning.

It can also be used where you might want an additional tag for a non-archive warning (for example, Drug use), but don't want to tag it for spoiler reasons. This is a perfectly acceptable use of the tag.

The issue is, some people think that's the only thing its meant to be used for, and any archive warnings have to be tagged no matter what. If this hypothetical person came across a work containing major character death, but the only archive warning was 'Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings', they would consider the work incorrectly tagged.

So then, if this person read ToS update, and found the part about replacing 'Underage'/'Underage Sex' with 'Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings', they could easily interpret that as the site no longer requiring underage sex to be tagged. In actual fact, underage sex is still a required warning, you just don't have to use the specific archive warning. You can use the non-specific one instead. (To be fully clear, this has always been the case)

Nothing is actually changing in terms of what content has to be tagged, it's literally only the wording of the archive warning, because it was a little ambiguous before.

[misterradio]

okay here are some tron 2.0 thoughts TEE HEE....... you have been Spoiler Warned for REAL!

tron fans talk abt this game with me okay 🥺

THIS GAME IS BEAUTIFUL .... MWWWWWAH!!!!!! i just love all the different environment designs, the color coding that went into the different computer systems was really cool too. my main takeaway is that the visuals Rule.

the npc designs were cool too but i kind of wish there was More variety (visually as well as voice acting)... but i really enjoy the design direction here ::-) why so many bald antagonist though? lol (AND WHY SO MANY MEN?)

In regards to gameplay i felt like it was pretty standard? i ended up using the basic disc weapon for most of the game because switching weapons takes Way too long if youre actively fighting, which is kind of a shame cuz there are so many weapon options... i did really enjoy the energy claw though 👍also the light cycle racing SUCKED and there was a graphical glitch that made it so that a bunch of visuals to my cycle were missing so i couldnt even enjoy the new design that was hyped up lol. as complicated as gameplay felt up front it definitely felt much better as it went on so it was pretty good.

game progression was very straightforward which i didnt expect..? go do this and then do that, etc. i thought it would be more open. this isnt rlly a complaint bc at least i wasnt lost or anything.

finding all the build notes was thankfully not hard but i enjoy poking around as much as i can in games already... and i liked the mechanics of searching archive boxes and being able to read emails between people ::-) YAY NOSINESS !!! despite finding all the build notes i still didnt end with the highest version i couldve...🤔 no idea how that works then...

moving on 2 story...

all the characters felt a bit flat so that was unfortunate... i wouldve liked to see some more emotions from everyone, bit more personality, etc...

i dont rlly know where jet's attachment to mercury came from, is he in love with this girl, if so why?? im thinking that since she was the first program to really reach out and help jet, that he latched on to her. but as the player i was kind of neutral on her SORRY although her design is cool

i was in disbelief that lora died and i was thinking she would just have been digitized and b in the computer somewhere? and there are allusions to her at least being superficially present in the program ma3a/ma2a etc (they have the same actress ^^__^^) but neither jet nor alan mention this which really shocks me??!!!??? thats your deceased mom or wife can u show a bit of tenderness or something..... maybe this can be cooked up more in an AU or something . idk i was really hoping she (and yori) would be around. i held on to hope for so long ✊️

OBVIOUSLY WISHING TRON WAS THERE... but omg alan being in the digital world shocked me so much i really liked that HEHE. him wearing tron's outfit was fun. i saw someone else in the tag say this, but if tron is "retired" then where is he?? INQUIRING MINDS WANNA KNOW !! he and jet werent very fazed by being digitized which surprised me buuut they also have to adapt fast given the urgency of their situation..

i felt rlly bad that thorne died SNIFFLE SNIFFLE jet and alan just watched a real guy die in front of them thats MESSED UP!! he was really cool too i enjoyed the corruption concept ::-) i was really worried the three fcon employees were gonna die too but im glad they implied that they could be repaired and manifested again.. (what is the word for un-digitized..?)

evil ma3a was really cool 👍 tbh all the antagonists are cool except im neutral on the kernel. i was confused that he was red i thought he was evil like in the original movie with the MCP's soldiers.. but i think hes just a guy who happens to be red. and also trying to kill u but just bc you (jet) are a freak of computer nature and should not be there. thats fair. i enjoyed his boss fight too.

THE FCON MONSTER WAS RLLY COOL HOW AM I NOT SEEING ANY FANART OF THEM.... ::-( i have to fix this... ALSO I WISH they had dialogue. like are they even aware of their situation. missed opportunity !!

okay thats all i can think of now.

WAIT UM I READ THE COMIC CONTINUATION(?) the ghost in the machine AS WELL and i dont have many thoughts on it bc it was really confusing BUT i did enjoy the layers of horror and unreality which i really did not expect. was also expecting the titular ghost to have more to do with lora (SIGH I REALLY WANNA SEE HER AGAIN) but it didnt but thats okay. i really liked the art of the first book specificaly.....

do any tron fans also like soma (2015) haha just wondering [TWIRLS MY HAIR

[the-bjd-community-confess]

DOA Bullshit and Bias Hubbywrangler is always in the comments foaming at the mouth whenever someone says less than positive things about DOA. Your autocratic bullshit only works on DOA; you cant control what people say online and you certainly cant ban them for having an opinion, but since you enjoy being an asshole to those who are scared of joining DOA, have felt unwelcome there or discriminated against, why not say something that really matters? The other moderators dont comment on things here, but a mod did on IG and had her ass handed back to her, why not give it a go here? Fantyfofo and MANY others got banned with no warning because they cast doll mannequins to make wigs, something that was not in the rules before banning them - no warning and not allowing them to fix their "mistake". This is unfair, specially because theres just a big red banned on their username and most assume its scamming; you know the damage that this does. when people question this, you just brush their frustration off. Youve sometimes said that these people are lying and the ban was actually not what this person is saying. Well, why not put in the reason why someone is banned? Youve already placed an obnoxious BANNED title under their name, its only fair for everyone to know why they were banned, so no one would accuse you like they have in the past for power tripping. You know the average user would see the banned title and avoid purchasing or dealing with said person - even if the ban was because they made another account, made a mannequin head or ffs, disagreed with a mod offsite. Before you say no, I know for a FACT that Aimeeeee banned a person because they had a disagreement with her on LJ, if you need names, its Hi3ru. I also know of the bullshit secret section of DOA that got hacked and leaked over a decade ago with Sal3m and JaM3 being particularly the shittiest of them all. Dont give me this non-biased bullshit when you obviously dont know how to be anything but biased. This may not be the case these days, but the secret section was there, anyone who has been in the hobby for a long time would remember it or has seen it. There is zero recast tolerance on DOA, yet Mannie admitted that she posted her recast and got suspended for it, when others did the same mistake but got banned permanently, please make it make sense. How is she not banned permanently? How is she still active in the forums when not only did she post her recast, but she admitted to it on her tumblr, and had made tutorials on how to purchase one safely? When being fair, the rules should apply to everyone; that does not mean your friends get to be exempt from it. Speaking of, how do you expect to be the "authority" on everything BJD, when even mention or linking of recasts get you banned or suspended? Do you think a newbie, or someone who has english as their second language will first assume its a fake? When a person wants a discussion - note discussion, not statement - on recasts to educate themselves to make an informed decision, is met with a suspension; how likely do you think they will get a recast out of spite for being "shunned" from the community? No sense in spending too much, "artistic integrity" when the artists and the "head" of the community is hostile towards you. This is such a missed opportunity for DOA to make something great, actually make a difference and encourage being pro-artist instead of bullying a person who is questioning it (no, those who made informed decisions on purchasing recasts can fuck off). I had my recent feedback deleted off my page because the moderators suspect the feedback is from offsite and is against the rules. Did you know, that when you get banned, there is no reply or appeal? You have to send an email which never gets replied to. The other thing; there would be an archive of dolls being sold. Clothes and accessories? Once its sold, its gone. The feedback I got was from those sales AND DOA suspended me because they suspected it was offsite sales. Putting that on the side; why limit feedback on DOA to only sales done on

DOA? IG and FB allow feedback from everywhere; as long as you have experience with that buyer and that seller, that should be the only thing that matters. Having the problem transaction thread for members only is also a decision I wont understand. Yes bad feedback can be linked to the feedback page, but how am I supposed to see and judge the feedback if there is no access to the bad feedback linked, because problem transactions are members only? People are fed up with the rules and tip toeing on DOA. Conversations have become so inane and stupid that I feel my IQ drop every time I read the debate section. The forums used to be enjoyable with actual meaningful conversations and now people only go to DOA to read the problem transaction threads, or BJD news. The discussions is nothing but people talking about their purchases, their missed purchases or purchases they hope to make. There is no conversation and you have no one to blame but yourselves because of the free use of bans, suspensions and this shitty punishment point system you threaten people with. You honestly need to get over yourselves because others see you as intimidating. Some mods are better than others, but generally speaking, you guys are power tripping assholes who are way to proud to get with the times and realize that the current way of running the forum is outdated. This is why many see DOA as an archive; talk too loud and the librarian shuts you up; only old threads have any value. Why do you think people have moved to discord, facebook and instagram? You know what would be nice? Allowing name changes. People will pay for it if you provide it, and you can always link the past usernames on their profiles like ebay. Let people change their names. Not alot will pay for extra doll profiles, and extra DOA PM space, but they will pay for name changes. If anyone else has anything to say, please sound off in the comments. H0bbitwrangler has defended DOA a lot, and they are an active mod that comments and lurks here; let them know what you think because they are trying to make DOA seem like the only ones having an issue are those who were banned "fairly".

~Anonymous

[cheylouwho]

irt what one anon just said, and like i kinda hold a diff opinion than you on some of this but not in such an extreme way i’d like fight u on it lmao just Would Like To Discuss/throw in my two cents for consideration, but i feel like framing matters a lot in these arguments about content. most (can’t say all as there are definitely exceptions) people aren’t saying its a direct like ‘see someone in movie kill people -> im gonna kill people now hehe’ influence when people talk about how media effects reality. its more about like why propoganda has been effective, where when you frame things as good/desirable/okay in subtle ways and that normalizes them as ideas. if a narrative is framing something as bad (ie how south park is satire and often shows lots of bad stuff but usually makes an attempt to point at how the bad stuff is Still Bad And Stupid) and just exploring the topic (such as with like. abusive/toxic/problematic ships, i dont think its fair to be like ‘none of that at all!’ bc there are interesting dynamics to explore and analyze that don’t romanticize it, and like thats totally cool!) like i have never had a problem with that. that doesn’t fall under the ‘media effects reality’ the same way because the point of that media isn’t to encourage that behaviour.

But a problem comes in when people romanticize that type of content and perpetuate bad stuff as being okay, and i’m not even saying censorship is the best answer, but if theres gonna be no censorship then there need to be a lot more safeguards to keep content like that away from kids on sites like ao3 which do also host pg content. if it was like an exclusively explicit/adult site then sure go buckwild my dudes, but when they have all ages content it really should be stricter about tagging requirements. because man i have seen so much untagged incest porn come up when looking for pg stuff not related to that AT ALL even with tags filtered (and not even for sp, ive been involved with other fandoms more recently and the one im talking about here is not even an adult-oriented series like sp is), and like I’m an adult who can deal with it but that shit is damaging for kids to be exposed to. like i still support ao3 as a website in general but i absolutely don’t think they’re beyond criticism, ya know?

Ok anon I really do respect and appreciate you come in here very calmly and opening a discussion and I will absolutely love to open a dialogue.

I will agree with you on the first part, yes it’s not black and white in any sense. I’m really fired up so I’m going to the other extreme but I do recognize that it’s not that simple. There absolutely is areas where it does become gray and it’s not as easy to say “all or nothing”. I wouldn’t say fiction Doesnt affect reality because there are aspects that do, but you are right that a lot of the time that statement is taken to the extreme and people completely equate it 1:1. Honestly I believe that as long as no real life person is being hurt and those safeguards are in place (proper tagging and warnings) like go wild. “Romanticizing” is a very opinion based statement too so it really does depend on the person on their interpretation of a work.

Ao3 does have policy about tagging works and using the proper rating system, so that is not a problem with Ao3 themselves but with the people misusing the platform. I agree, works need to be tagged properly or at least using the “chose not to use archive warnings” tag so people know things inside the fic are freegame. Ao3 *does* have the way to keep kids out, in the same way a porn site would- there is the warning about explicit content right before you click into a fic. If you click that button you are either Lying about your age or agreeing that you are okay to seeing the content. (also again my library argument, published books dont have that luxury). I don’t think it’s beyond criticism either and there are improvements being made all the time (again, it’s run by a team of dedicated volunteers) but ultimately calling for something to end that can be really truly avoided by not even looking at the website is the ultimate beef I have. I am all for improving the site and making that content easier to hide, or harder for minors to get into, but ultimately again a kid could go to the library, grab a book and read just about anything. I think in some ways ao3 is *better* in that sense. Not perfect, but something worth protecting.

[dumbassscout]

i see a lot of 13 yr olds on tumblr these days, so id like to share some advice i wish i had known using tumblr at age 13.

this is also probably not an original idea from me lol, someone has got to have done this before. i would usually put this under a cut but ive decided not to for now

be aware that this site is like NOTORIOUSLY harmful. you may think you’re above it or too mature for it to hurt you, but trust me, you aren’t. since you will probably not be stopped by that warning, maybe take some precautions/keep some stuff in mind to stay safe.

i had tumblr savior for my first experiences with the site. im pretty sure it still works and it’s regularly updated, so take a look into that. it blocks posts with certain keywords from being seen on your radar, and can also push/allow posts with other keywords to always be shown. i would advise getting it or a similar extension to custom block triggering/harmful content.

don’t put other/more popular users in your fandom/community on a pedestal. they’re people behind a blog, just like you are. don’t feel intimidated by the people in your own community, they are just people the same way you are a person. they can mess up at times, and so can you.

making friends is a great thing on this site, but keep an eye on new online friends’ behaviors. it is exciting to meet new people, but you want to be aware of toxic friends. same goes for your mutuals. overall, keep people on this site at an arm’s length until you’ve gotten to know them enough personally to know that they’re genuine people. as you get older you can relax on this, but as a young teen it’s better to be hyperaware than to be blissfully ignorant as you get hurt.

onto more broad things, your theme doesn’t have to be perfect. you dont have to make a custom html/edited html website theme for your blog, you can leave it as tumblr default. if you enjoy organizing that, then by all means go ahead! but don’t feel like it is necessary for your blog, most of the time you will get a new theme set up and check on it on a month and find that it actually looks terrible to you. if you’d rather just have it as a basic/default site, then that is perfectly normal.

your blog’s theme/topic is your choice, and can be uniquely you. some people have many blogs for many things, just a few, or just one with everything. it is up to you how you want to do it! the themes you choose, topics, are up to you. fads and trends are cool but finding what works for you personally is way more fun. your blog is supposed to be fun. you are supposed to enjoy using tumblr. don’t compromise that for a trend. make your blog(s) however you want, however it pleases you. it can feel pressuring to have a perfect blog, but it’s better to just make your appearance the way it would make you happy.

also, tag systems are awesome! but they are not necessary unless you’re tagging trigger warnings. always tag those! but i know a lot of people have personal tagging systems to organize their blog, which is totally cool! but again, personal tag systems are not necessary, and if they feel unnecessary to you, don’t use them. but again, tag triggering content, especially if you are asked to.

archiving/deleting/creating new blogs is a whole other process. some people like to start with a clean slate every time they switch to a new fandom, and let their old user be archived or deleted. this is perfectly respectable (and probably the right thing to do) personally, i just switch my blog over to whatever im feeling that month and people can unfollow if they no longer enjoy my blog (i dont have that big of a following on this blog). it’s really a personal decision, and if you want to restart your blog you will know when to/if you want to.

reblog art, but never “repost” it. aka dont take the image and post it on your own blog, just reblog it from the original poster. its common sense but not everyone knows? idk

if you end up having some or many followers, make sure to check yourself. appreciate your followers, respect them. they are people with blogs. just like you. don’t let a high number inflate your ego way out of proportion, it’s easy to fall into that sense of power.

respect people’s pronouns. even if you for some reason have a disagreement with them, or you don’t understand why/how their identity works, just use the correct pronouns that they ask you to. it costs you zero dollars and zero cents, and is incredibly respectful

as a young teen, don’t get involved/let yourself get buried in tumblr-wide discourse. examples of this include the bi vs pan debate, flag discourse etc. most ppl who i know who were attentive to things similar to that at a young age ended up being affected negatively by it. pay some attention to what pertains to you and also pay attention to what you can identify as right or wrong, but don’t let people’s opinions on your dash influence you in times of discourse. go and look at both sides of those kinds of debates if you’re interested, and form an opinion from there.

speaking of which, sometimes people will just post their takes on literally anything and youll come across it. take everything with a grain of salt unless there is links to proof (if applicable, not always needed). sometimes bad takes just havent had someone to reblog and disprove yet.

speaking of discourse, there is always discourse on this site in every fandom, every community. form your own opinions always, but keep your moral compass in mind. don’t compromise your morals and sense of right and wrong to enjoy certain fan-media. if something seems off, it probably is.

people make mistakes, and if someone did something kind of shitty/had a terrible take/belief (not irredemably shitty, those ppl do not need ur attention) and they genuinely apologize for the shit they did and learn from it, move on. leave some shit in the past, holding grudges isnt good for your mental health and people change. but again, always take things with a grain of salt.

you dont need a high follower count to get traction on your posts. it might help, but you can have a low follower count with high interaction or a high follower count with little to know interaction. the best advice i have is to tag what it is relevant to, whether it’s a fandom, aesthetic, etc and people who regularly check those tags will find it.

if you ever get anon hate for some reason, just delete it from ur inbox n move on. ppl who send anon hate want to see you post it and respond to it. if they said some really really MEAN shit though, it may be best to talk to a friend about it for comfort, or take a break from tumblr for a hot min. most importantly, report it, close your ask box/change it to no anonymous asks.

if at some point you choose to voice your opinion about a highly debated topic at the time, be aware that people who disagree might attack you for it. be aware, and be safe about it.

a lot of people swear by xkit. i have never used it in my life, but from the looks of it, it makes using tumblr so much more bearable. it breaks sometimes with tumblr updates, but apparently it’s worth it. again, look into it, but it’s not necessary to use the site.

do niche shit. start sideblogs without a plan in mind. make aus, make art, make writing, or make nothing at all. reblog the things you love wherever you want them to be reblogged. comment on people’s creations if you love them, they probably would love to hear how much you enjoyed it. appreciate how wonderful the better part of this site is, enjoy the free access to view and appreciate others’ creations and ideas.

i would put a lot more on here, but i feel like 20 is probably too much already. if anyone has anything to add, definitely rb with ur addition

overall, do the things you love on here, keep yourself safe, and be respectful of others.

[onceabluemoonwrites]

Title: A Funeral Shroud of Tulle Author: OnceABlueMoon Rating: T Pairing: Kozato Enma & Suzuki Adelheid

Tags/Warnings: The Simon Massacre, trauma

Summary:   The thing people rarely remember about Enma was that his sister had been his twin. In which the Simon children raise themselves after the massacre, do a lot of damage to each other, and love each other anyway.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Katekyo Hitman Reborn.

Written for the @khrrarepairweek   Vday Mini-Event 2019, for February the 13th, with the prompt ‘‘Backup Twin’‘

Kozato Chinatsu considered herself to be a very lucky woman, and it had a lot to do with her children. Since the minute they’d been born, she hadn’t stopped smiling, every day a ray of light. The twins were her treasure, with the island as a grand treasure chest. It was paradise.

She counted herself a very lucky lady, and the day she died she found out why.

Because her luck would run out before her time.

(She died trying to block the door to her son’s bedroom).

Entering the main house was hard- Adel had waited for nightfall before even attempting to leave her hiding place. She’d waited until the screams died down. She’d waited hours upon hours for someone to get her, but nobody came and she needed to confirm it was not because there was nobody left. She refused to believe that. She could not allow herself to believe that.

That did not make it easier to leave her hiding place. The fear of encountering the slaughterer of her people was ever present in her shaking body, but she strode forward. She could not stand still- if she stood still, she would die before their killer would even reach her. She would perish, falling to her knees, dying slowly of grief, and she could not stand still, could not let that happen.

She needed to find survivors. Having someone else to care for should distract her enough.

So. The main house.

She did not know what had been harder- walking past their corpses, or listening to their screams while being unable to do a thing about it, hiding in a closet, in the dark, praying to God nobody would find her.

She averted her eyes from Kozato-san when she came to Enma’s bedroom- it was okay. It was alright. Kozato-san might be dead, but surely, surely she’d have protected Enma. Kozato Chinatsu had loved the fiercest out of every person Adel knew, and her cold corpse could not mean anything, because death would not stop a love as fierce as that.

Adel had to believe that.

(Adel was lying through her teeth)

The corpse was small, the corpse was redheaded, and it still clutched the twin’s stuffed rabbit to its chest, even in death. The soft, worn white fabric was drenched in rusty red- blood beginning to dry.

Adel’s heart stopped.

Of course, she found out it was Mami later, but at the time she couldn’t bring herself to look at the mutilated body of her best friend. All she could think when she saw him, alive and well, was "Thank god it was Mami." It was ugly but true. She’d been so grateful he was alive. Perhaps that was were the difference in attitude after the massacre came from- whereas Adel thought "Thank god it was Mami,", Enma thought "Why was it Mami? Why not me?" And drowned in his own apparent uselessness, rid of his precious twin.

(The beginning of the end)

Adel was ten and she had no idea what to do, but she did know they had to leave the island. They didn't have the manpower to bury the corpses of their family, and even if they did, she was pretty sure they wouldn't have been able to take doing it anyway. They had to leave the island, the corpses unburied, trauma rampant.

Julie was the one who stopped them from going immediately. He was eleven, the eldest, and even though he never had a leading bone in his body, he knew about stuff. Like the fact that if they went out there, they'd be put in the system.

“We won't last a day out there- seven kids living alone will be noticed. On the other hand... Seven kids and a slightly absentee guardian? It'll attract attention, but it could work.”

Adel sized him up. “...Who are you going to impersonate?”

Julie grimaced. “The person with the most money on the island. Kozato Makoto.”

Enma, to say the least, did not take it well.

Seeing his dead father’s face was far from Enma’s biggest problems, though it was a painful one. Honestly, most of the time he couldn’t look in the mirror. Mami’s face was staring back at him. He saw her grow up there, along with him, until his jaw was wide, his shoulders broad, and stubble encroached on his cheeks. Then he couldn’t pretend it was her anymore.

(It broke him a little)

Sometimes, it was like Enma had died instead of Mami. At first, it was subtle. Enma’s countenance became fiercer, more like the leader he’d never really been to them. Adel thought it was a result of the slaughter of their family- but soon it became clear it was not.

Not at all, really. Because Enma’s hair was growing out. First past his chin. Then his shoulders. Then his waist. Long, red hair, tumbling down his back, wavy curls framing his face. This was the second sign.

The third, however, was unmistakable. The long skirts, the dresses. The plastic cherries on the elastics he used to do his hair. They’d been Mami’s favourite when she was still alive.

That was what did it. The realization struck her like a lightning bolt, leaving charred skin, burned hair and the stench of ozone behind.

The fierce attitude, the hair, the clothing, the way he talked to them even. Everything was modelled after his sister. It was like Kozato Enma had disappeared into the mists of time, obscured under the ghost of his sister. Adel felt like throwing up.

She didn’t know what to do.

(She never did)

Life went on. They went to school. They ate. They survived. And slowly, very slowly, they healed. Enma did not stop pretending to be Mami, and while uncomfortable with it, nobody spoke up about it. Not until it got worse.

Enma was approaching thirteen now and hitting his first growth spurt. He shot up in height, his jaw was widening, becoming squarer, and his shoulders were becoming broader. The dresses could not hide it. He bought frillier ones anyway.

It was when she saw plastic surgery sites in his internet history that Adel snapped.

"Enma, Mami's the dead one. She was buried. Not you. Not you!" Adel picked up the scissors and grabbed his hair harshly- long strands of blood red hair falling to the ground as if shedding the hair would make Mami's funeral shroud fall off Enma's shoulders. Enma's shaking, and Adel had no idea what she was doing- for all she might know she just caused even more trauma- but... Adel has had no idea what she had been doing since she was ten and fished her friend from the ashes left of their village. Since she took them from among the corpses. So she says the only thing that kept her going at that time: "Even if you feel like you're being buried alive, rescue the others from the same fate before you let them suffocate you forever." He listened. It was like Mami died all over again, and all that was left is a crying boy in a frilly pink skirt, red hair choppy, unevenly cut. Short. It was hard, but it was a beginning. It was grieving Mami all over again, it was Enma figuring out how to be Enma instead of Mami. It was a lot of things. Enma was not the leader Mami-Enma was, but Adel believed in him. He would make it. (Enma never grew his hair out again).

The Enma before Tsuna wore black hoodies and jeans. The Enma before Tsuna was bullied terribly. The Enma before Tsuna was so filled with grief and rage, every single thing brought up to the surface again. The Enma before Tsuna attacked.

The Enma with Tsuna was still sad. He still got bullied. He still didn’t know who he was, but by now he’s realized that would probably be something he’ll chase after his whole life. The task of a lifetime, finding out who one is. But the Enma with Tsuna also has friends; People not as easily dragged into the rage and the desperation and the grit of their nightmares. He is less angry, happier, and he wears flowy lavender blouses that make him soft and sweet but do not hide his broad shoulders in any way. His hair is short, the memory of being Mami-Enma forever haunting him, as if growing his hair out again would tempt him into falling back into old bad habits.

The Enma with Tsuna made Adel question herself a lot. Both the actions she had taken in the years before, as well that one disastrous conversation that may have helped him for the better, but had most likely damaged him terribly as well. There are misunderstandings to be cleared up, and Adel won’t let corpses lie unburied (and believe her, she has buried far too many).

The Enma with Tsuna is the one Adel goes to talk to.

‘'...You know I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to be a girl, right? It’s just being Mami that I had a problem with. Because you’re Enma. You’re Enma and I love you for you, however you want to be.’'

Enma looked up, hands caressing the grass they were seated upon softly, and the expression on his face so gentle, so sweet, that Adel could not help but hold her heart, breathless. ‘'I don’t think I’m a girl, Adel. I don’t really think I’m a boy either. I’m just... Enma.’'

A smile crept up on Adel’s face as she took his hand, laying back into the grass and enjoying the warm afternoon sun. ‘'That’s enough, Enma. That’s more than enough.’'

[mysmefanfic1]

Responsible Chapter 2

Jiho woke up slightly stiff but without any pain. The muscle relaxers he’d taken as well as the pain meds allowed him to sleep comfortably, but he knew by experience that he needed to ease up on the sitting for at least a day after overdoing it like this.

He took deep breaths as he sat up, focusing on keeping his muscles relaxed. If he felt a twinge he took another deep breath and eased into the movement more slowly. This meditative and repetitive motion synchronized with a hot shower first thing in the morning. Gradually, his offended muscles loosened further.

Shrugging back into his school uniform, he checked his phone and was surprised to find a dozen messages from Yoosung stretching from 9 pm to 3 am in the morning.

“Hey, Jiho! I talked to my friend and he’s interested in getting you hired!”

“Oh… you must be asleep. Can you message me when you get this?”

“Uh… never mind, I was doing LOLOL I just checked if you were online, you’re still asleep.”

“You’re a pretty heavy sleeper. Jaehee says that she’ll call you in the morning.”

“Ah… I just raelizde that u dont kno who Jaeeesi”

“Sorry typos. I cn barley keep my eys open.”

“I forgot to tell you who Jaehee is again! Jaehee Kang! She’s my friends assistnnt”

“Are you awake?”

Much to his shock, Yoosung was still showing as online. Did this kid never sleep?

“Hey, I just got your messages, Yoosung. I hope your LOLOL was fruitful but don't message me late at night. I don’t tend to sleep well and turn my phone on silent. Are you saying I have an interview? With who?”

The response was immediate. “Good morning!” A happy sun emoji was tacked on to the end. “Jaehee Kang. She works with C&R.”

Jiho’s breath caught in his throat. He knew C&R like most people in the city did: By the massive gleaming glass and steel tower of the C&R building, one of the tallest buildings in the city. It glowed in the dark with lights displaying its name, with a flashing red beacon to warn low flying planes of its immense height.

C&R’s property spanned outward to a plaza with fountains and eating areas. It had Valet parking in expansive underground parking garages. It was a centerpiece of downtown where only the finest of the city and even the finest of the country could work.

Jiho’s skepticism immediately brought him back down to earth. This poor gamer who couldn’t even afford tutoring and skipped classes and played LOLOL all night had an ‘in’ at C&R?

He typed a single word. “Bullshit.” and tossed his phone on the bed.

His mood sank. He heard his mother call him down to breakfast so he started to prepare for the day. So much for a new friend. Maybe he was a scammer. No way that was true.

“It’s true!” 

Jiho eyed his phone as he slowly wrapped his school uniform tie around his neck.

“Look, my cousin was engaged to Han Jumin’s childhood friend. That’s how I know him. We talked about you last night and he’s interested in you so you have to be ready to answer the phone when she calls!”

Jiho could feel his temperature rise. He picked up the phone again. “I don’t know why you feel the need to joke around like this. But it’s not funny.”

“No, wait, look, I’ll get you a photo.”

He rolled his eyes. Photos used to be proof now they’re easily spoofed and altered. Did Yoosung scam people like this all the time?

A picture came up. It was a photo of Yoosung, but he had brown hair. Several people were standing around.

“This is my graduation ceremony. Jumin Han is the farthest to the left.”

Jiho blinked at the photo. He was seeing something with his own eyes, yet his brain found it hard to accept. He wasn’t someone who followed celebrities, but he knew the Han name and he’d seen photos of Jumin Han before. Still, he found himself googling Jumin Han and comparing the pictures online. This couldn’t be, that had to be a look-alike…

“Jiho! Come down to breakfast!”

“In a minute!” He shouted down to his mother.  He turned back to his phone. 

He typed. “This seems too good to be true.”

“I understand. But please believe me.”

The screen suddenly went black and the phone was buzzing with his ring tone. On the caller ID was Jaehee Kang.

Jiho felt himself starting to sweat. He held the phone to his ear and cleared his throat. “This is Lee Jiho.”

“Good morning, this is Kang Jaehee. I’m chief assistant to Han Jumin of C&R and we are interested in offering you a position here.”

Jiho’s mouth opened and shut. “Yes… thank you for considering me.”

“Yoosung shared his math assignment with us last night and I looked over it. All the answers are correct. Your public records are also exemplary. Do you have time for an interview this morning?”

“This morning…?”

“JI-HO!” 

Jiho heard his mom coming up the stairs and quickly locked the door bedroom. “Can you give me just a moment.”

“Sure.”

He muted the phone. “Mom. I … I need some more time to get ready, I’m sorry.”

“What’s wrong?” The doorknob rattled. “Why is your door locked!”

“I’ll be right down I promise. By the way, where’s my suit? The one I wore to Dad’s memorial.”

“Your suit? It should be in the storage closet…”

“Can you get it out for me? I need it…”

“What is going on?”

“Please mom, just do it. I”ll be right out.”

Much to his relief his mother shuffled away, muttering to herself.

He hurried back to the phone. “I apologize, please continue.”

“Not a problem at all.” Her voice was clipped and professional. Her words were formal. Just listening to her made him sit up straight. “The job will involve auditing archived files kept in storage. These files don’t work with any of our current software and must be audited by hand. Once these files are thoroughly checked, they must be imported into a new system and the records will be destroyed. Therefore, we need someone with a meticulous attention to detail as once the records are destroyed they cannot be retrieved.”

“I can do that, no problem.” He said. “What time do you need to meet me?”

“I have an opening two hours from now. Meet me in the C&R lobby at 9:30 am.”

“I can make it. Thank you for this opportunity.”

After bidding each other farewell. Jiho had to sit down. He held one hand to his head staring into space. “Oh… oh my god. This is it. This is it! This is my chance! I…”

He hurried back down the hall to the bathroom and brushed his hair and his teeth again, one more time. He was afraid to eat. What if she smelled something on his breath or he got something in his teeth?

His resume! He quickly hurried for his backpack and opened it up. He smiled. Still there, perfect condition.

He hurried to the kitchen where his mom had her arms crossed and her foot tapping. He would have to take the subway to get to C&R. “Mom, can I borrow a few extra dollars. I’m meeting someone for a special project and I”ll have to take the subway.”

“No.”

His mother’s words stopped him cold. “What?”

“No. The school told me you’ve been skipping classes!”

“I told you I wasn’t feeling well yesterday!” He laughed nervously.

“What about the day before? And the day before that?” She glared at him. “You’ve been lying to me! Where have you been going?”

“I’ve been applying for jobs!” Jiho blurted. “I need the suit for an interview!”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I knew you wouldn’t like it!”

“And you would be right! You are on scholarship! This is your one chance to go to a prestigious university!” His mother leaned on the table.

“And it’s not going to do any good if you have to work!” Jiho couldn’t believe she was being stubborn.

“What are you talking about? The whole point of university is to get a good job!”

“I’m about to get a really good job mom, really good.”

Her lips pressed together and her brow knitted. For a moment, mother and one glared at each other in a standoff.

Jiho looked away first, contrite. “I’m sorry I lied to you…” He ran his hand through his hair. “Look… I”ll cut you a deal. I’ll get this job. If I don’t, I’ll give up my job search and go to class. Okay?”

“You promise…” She asked dubiously.

“I promise. Super promise.” He crossed his fingers.

His mother hesitated for a few more seconds before reaching for her purse and handing him enough money for the fare.

Jiho took the suit from her arms and bowed deeply. “Thank you for this chance.”

“How good is this job anyway?” She glanced at him as he sat and devoured his breakfast.

He didn’t answer right away. “I kinda don’t want to tell you. I”m afraid it might not be real.”

“That good huh?” She asked. She quirked a single eyebrow.

“Yeah.”

“Well… you better hurry then. This is your last chance.”

Jiho rose from the table, walked over and gave his mother a kiss on the cheek. “You won’t regret it.” He then ran off to get changed.

Soon, Jiho was one of a river of suited individuals making their way through a labyrinth of shining skyscrapers in the business district of the city. All around him, people spoke on cell phones, the clicks of women’s heels provided staccato rhythms and the steady hum of expensive cars added a backdrop of sound.

He glanced up at the C&R complex as if it were a castle he was planning to storm. He steeled himself with determination. This was the place that would change his life.

He walked through the automatic revolving doors into a brilliantly lit marble floor.  Immediately his bravado left him when he saw a floor to ceiling saltwater fish tank complete with coral reef decorating a central column.

This confrontation with extravagance told him he didn’t have any business being here.

A woman in a brown dress suit met him. “Lee Jiho?” She bowed slightly. “I am Jaehee Kang. Let me help you get checked in.”

He fought the urge to respond like a school kid and nodded and followed her in silence. Inside, he was a raging mix of excitement, panic, and disbelief. Was he dreaming?

He looked down at the receptionist seated behind an ornate desk carved with snarling Siberian tigers. 

She was young, bespectacled and dressed smartly. She looked at him, met his eyes and suddenly exclaimed. “Ah. What beautiful eyes!”

“Uh… Thanks” Jiho stammered.

 Her cheeks turned red as she caught Jaehee’s deadpan stare. “I’m sorry. I… forgot myself. Here’s your security tag. Keep this on you at all times.”

He accepted the tag and put it around his neck.

Jaehee turned on her heel and walked towards an elevator. The doors were bright gold. Were they made of gold? They had the logo of C&R on them so that the two letters would part when the doors opened. “Have you ever worked in an office before?” Jaehee asked as she scanned her card and then looked at him. 

“I’ve never worked in an office before, no…”

“C&R is a very prestigious company and we value our employees highly but we have very high expectations of them as well. I’m happy you’ve decided to at least dress the part, but exclamations like you just heard could actually be grounds for discipline.”

“I understand.”

The golden doors opened and they stepped inside. Jaehee pressed a button and the doors slid shut. She then turned and smiled at him, her eyes warm and friendly. “Don’t be so nervous.”

Her sudden shift in attitude was jarring; he wasn’t sure how to react.

“Yoosung had a lot of good things to say about you. To be honest, you’ve already made a good impression. This interview is just a formality.”

Jiho gaped wordlessly for a few seconds. “Wow. I … I didn’t believe him when he was telling me.”

“I can sympathize. I got into C&R on the word of Jumin’s friend as well. Jumin values his friends’ opinions highly. This job is yours to lose.”

“Ms. Kang, I…”

“You can call me Jaehee.”

“But aren’t you my supervisor?”

“Not directly. You’ll be with our accounting division. All the usual formalities will be there.”  

The doors opened onto an elaborately woven carpet. There was another receptionist who only glanced at them as they passed by. “This is our archive. Should you accept the position, this is where you’ll be working.”

She scanned her card again at the double doors and they opened to a large windowless server room. Three huge center silos occupied most of the space along with industrial printing machines.

“Every day, you’ll examine a set of financial records. You’ll have your own desk and will be expected to work alone, but don’t be a stranger. The accounting division is a close knit group. It's in your interest to get to know them well.”

“They’re not here?”

“They work on a different floor. They’ll be in meetings right around this time.” Jaehee checked her watch briefly.  “Do you have any questions for me?”

“Uh… when do I start?” He laughed, and hated the high pitch of it. He cleared his throat. 

“Immediately. The reason we’re so eager to have you is... “

Her phone suddenly rang and she picked up. “Mr. Han. Yes, I’m with him now. Yes. I know. Now? Yessir. I’ll be right there.”

She hung up the phone. “Something’s come up. I’m afraid…” She suddenly sighed and looked incredibly tired. “I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to sign the employment forms right away. I am very sorry.”

“I do have one question. Did you… seriously grade my homework?” Jiho’s eyebrows rose.

“Hahaha!” Jaehee’s laugh held a quiet bit of madness. “Yes. I did.”

Jiho bowed. “Thank you.”

She smiled at him. “Here.” She handed him a stack of forms. “Just sign here… and here… and here….”

This was real. He was going to work at C&R. C and freaking R! Every signature was like the unlocking of a massive door to a shining opportunity. His dad must be throwing a fit up in heaven. His boy did it! He probably couldn’t believe it. He said an opportunity would come knocked, but no way he expected something this amazing!

“Here’s our welcome packet, look over and sign everything you like. It includes our retirement, savings, and investment plans, alternate insurance, et cetera… I … am sorry I’ll have to escort you out. Security will provide you your badge you’ll need to enter when you start tomorrow.”

Jiho put a cap on his excitement but a glance at Jaehee’s smile told him he didn’t fool her at all. He was ecstatic. “Thank you ma’am. I mean… Jaehee.”

He followed her outside. “Take your time looking through those things. Be at your desk a little before 8 am to meet your new friends. Eat lunch in the common cafeteria to get to know your new coworkers.”

She suddenly removed her glasses. “You know… looking at you, reminds me a lot of when I started here. Working at C&R is indeed a great opportunity. Don’t lose appreciation for it. Now. If you’ll excuse me.” 

Jaehee placed the glasses back on her nose and walked back into the building, leaving Jiho to stand in his own disbelief and joy.

Jiho made his way down the city walk to the central park. The green was cut through with shady walking trails around a large lake. Jiho settled down on a bench and sighed. He then opened the package and began to read it over.

After about half an hour, his phone rang. It was his mother. He answered.

“Did you get the job?”

“Yes.”

“I thought you would. I wish I had good news for you.” Her voice was gloomy and sullen.

“What happened?” He gripped the phone.

“Your school called. They’re going to list you as delinquent, in line for expulsion. This will go on your permanent record.”

Jiho’s expression set. “Call them back. I’m withdrawing from SKY.”

“What?” His mother was voiceless with shock.

“The job I got? It’s with C&R… one of the biggest companies in South Korea.”

“C&R…?”

“That’s right. I have no need to attend classes any longer.”

“But Jiho… you’re on scholarship. They’ll require the tuition paid back right away if you drop out!”

“I don’t care. I’ll be getting paid enough to make it up.”

“They’ll want it immediately, not in payments.”

“Mom.” He shifted his eyes to make sure he was alone. “You said that we had enough to last us a while? Not according to my calculations. We should be out of money in the next month or two. You have savings besides those from selling the food truck business, right?”

His mother was silent on the other end. Then she said. “Those were for something else…”

“Mom. Please, just pay off the scholarship loan. I’ll pay you back. I’ll pay you back and then some! They’re going to match my retirement contributions. I’ll get shares in the company. This optional insurance will make sure you have the best medical care!”

“Jiho…”

“Mom! Listen to me!” His voice rose in urgency. “I know this is too fast and this is too hard to accept. But I’m not going to let you work okay? I need you to trust me. I’ll handle it. All the money, all the finances. I’ll save up. Put down money on a house! This is it! This is what I”ve been waiting for! Just… just pay the tuition. I’ll pay you back. I promise. I super promise…”

The silence on the other end just grew. “Your father… saved this money…  penny by penny… for you. For your wedding… I…”

“Mom.” Pain assailed his heart and he closed his eyes and chewed his lip. “I know you’re not used to having money. My dad. He… never wanted it. To him it wasn’t important.” Jiho’s voice cracked and began to shake. “So long as we were together. But we’re not together anymore! He’s gone! We’re not together!” He wiped his tears angrily. “So please. Just. Just do this!”

His mother’s voice came through, small and quiet. “Okay… I’ll call the school. I’ll sign the withdrawal.”

Jiho sighed, trying to get control of his breathing. His face was burning hot and his blood was racing through him. He hated this feeling of desperation after elation. It exhausted him. “Thank you. I love you, mom.”

“I love you too… I’ll see you when you get home.”

He pressed the end call button and lowered his phone to his lap, staring out over the lake. Emotion rattled about inside him but he couldn’t let it out. It crawled up his neck, twisting his muscles and tightening them. He stood up to walk it off.

By the time he got home, he was in agony and had to lay down. A therapy pillow with electronic massage balls provided some relief. His phone vibrated.

“Grats on the job!” Yoosung had texted with a celebratory emoji.

Jiho smiled weakly. “Dude… you’re amazing.”

“Nah you’re amazing. You can finally relax!”

“No way.” Jiho texted. “My work has just begun. But… I guess I can celebrate.”

“Do you still have your LOLOL account? Wanna come play with me?”

“I’m sorry. I can’t. My neck is killing me and I can’t sit up.”

“Seriously? Have you seen a doctor?”

“Yeah. Hey. Maybe I can listen to you play?”

“That’ll work!”

Jiho sat up painfully and got his laptop and signed into LOLOL.

“Add me to friends! I’m Super Yoosung!”

“Gotcha. I’m Mighty Taco.”

“Wat. lol”

“Don’t knock it.” Jiho logged in and then activated his bluetooth headset. “Here, invite me to your voice chat.”

Soon, Yoosung’s voice filled his ears. “Hey, can you hear me?”

“I hear you just fine.” Just that small effort was tiring. He lay back down and got comfortable.

“You sound kinda sick.”

“I’m fine. What’s the dungeon?”

“Elynor’s Keep Insane.”

“Ohh… is that from the latest expansion?”

“Yep. It’s progression so… we’re going to die. A lot.”

“I look forward to it.” He smiled and closed his eyes, already feeling the knots work out of his neck.