#there are also bad boy jimin fics on the masterlists page

[yunopouts]

scream - l. jeno

-> lee jeno x fem reader

-> frat! au, pure smut (jeno lee is one nasty mother fucker in this one y'all)

-> CW: dom! jeno, rough sex(??), choking, edging, a small... TINY (VERY TINY) bit of ass play, protected sex, handjob, overuse of the word fuck, overstim, head god jeno, fingering, spitting, squirting, slight praise, lots of crying (reader), dumbification, marking/biting, scratching, blood, nipple play, gagging, bdj (big dick jeno LMFAOO)

-> a/n: this is my apology for going on such a long break T-T, i'm telling you i didn't even realise it went on for that long. i was checking in every now and then but i feel so bad T-T anyways! I'm back :P this one doesn't have THAT much dialogue, so i hope you guys enjoy the gory details 😁 also i think this is the filthiest, most smutty, smut i've ever fucking written, and i've written a lot... trust me on this.

-> upcoming: dilf! jaehyun next week and maybe another halloween special idk. oh btw, everything has some sort of halloween aspect to it :)) psst! requests are open!!

-> word count: 4.2k!

-> also p.s: idk how to explain the way he's acting in this fic... he's like very sweet and cute when he's kissing, but he's being a bitch when he's fucking and being rough... idk, i hope you understand what I mean. but also, as rough as he maybe, he's very touchy-feely and kissy :D ANYWHO! I present to you, six pages of pure filth!

safe! master list

mature! masterlist

“When you said we’re going to a party, I didn’t know it was a frat party.” Minjeong said as the three of you walked through the door. The house reeked of weed and sweat, all the criteria for a proper frat party, except everyone is in a Halloween costume.

“Girl, where else would the party have been?” Jimin scoffed lightly. She paused in the doorway, looking down at her phone before she sighed. “Apparently Sungchan’s waiting for me in the living room, I’ll see you two later?” Both you and Minjeong nodded, wishing the girl goodbye and watched as she walked away in her cheerleader costume. 

Turning to each other, you silently agreed that the first thing you needed was a drink, so you headed off to the kitchen. 

“I forgot to tell you how hot you look in that outfit.” She said in your ear, loud enough for you to hear over the music, and you gave her a smile while you poured yourself a drink. 

“So do you,” you whistled as you looked her up and down, the way the gross boys in movies do when they spot a hot girl. 

Together, you looked like an odd pair, seeing as you were dressed up as Jennifer, from Jennifer’s Body, and Minjeong was Little Red Riding Hood. The music thumped through the air as the two of you stood in the crowded kitchen, surrounded by costumed partygoers. The laughter and chatter blended with the bass, creating a symphony of Halloween revelry. Your playful compliment still lingered in the atmosphere, adding a touch of warmth to the otherwise chilly, dimly lit room. You took a sip from your drink, the alcohol burning your throat, but your attention was momentarily drawn away from the sensation by something else. From across the room, you spotted a familiar figure, the ever so iconic Ghost Face mask, in the back corner, talking to a boy dressed up as a mummy.

The menacing presence seemed to defy the festive atmosphere, and your eyes were drawn to it as if by some magnetic force. The Ghost Face mask turned slowly in your direction, and even though you couldn't see their face, you felt a shiver race down your spine. It was as though an invisible connection had formed between you and the enigmatic figure, a connection that transcended the costume and the anonymity it provided. There was something magnetic about their presence, something that sparked a potent and unspoken attraction.

For a brief, electrifying moment, your eyes met those hidden behind the Ghost Face mask. Time seemed to stand still as you locked onto each other, and a subtle, unspoken acknowledgment passed between you, like a silent agreement in the midst of the raucous party. Your heart quickened, and the room seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you in that charged moment.

Feeling a surge of heat and anticipation, you reluctantly tore your gaze away from the enigmatic figure and turned back to Minjeong, who had been watching the silent exchange with keen interest. She met your eyes, and the shared understanding between you two was palpable. “You saw him too, didn’t you.” Minjeong said in a way that had her sounding winded. With a knowing smile and another sip of your drink, you and Minjeong silently toasted to the unspoken intrigue that had captured your attention.

As the night continued, the magnetic pull you felt towards the Ghost Face figure in the corner didn't wane. It was like an invisible thread connected the two of you, and despite the ongoing revelry, your attention kept drifting back to that mysterious presence.

Minjeong, ever perceptive, nudged you and raised an eyebrow as if to say, "Why not go for it?" Encouraged by her silent urging, you decided to take the initiative. Setting down your drink, you nodded toward the Ghost Face figure, indicating your intention to approach.

Minjeong gave you an encouraging thumbs-up before disappearing into the crowd, leaving you to navigate the sea of Halloween costumes on your own. You weaved through the dancing crowd, anticipation growing with each step.

As you approached, the mask-wearing figure seemed to sense your approach and turned slightly in your direction. They leaned against the counter with their arms crossed over their chest, waiting for you to arrive. The closer you got, the more you could feel the intensity of the connection between the two of you.

Finally standing face to face, the silence was almost deafening. The mask stared at you, unmoving, but you could sense a palpable tension beneath it. Without exchanging words, you both seemed to understand that this moment was special, a secret shared between you in the midst of chaos.

Slowly, your hand extended, and you reached for the Ghost Face mask. Your fingertips brushed against it, and you felt a rapid heartbeat beneath your touch. The mask gave the slightest nod, and you grasped it, carefully pulling it up.

Beneath the mask, a pair of intense, dark eyes met yours. You were momentarily lost in their depth, captivated by the enigmatic stranger who had held your attention all night. The corners of your lips curved into a small, knowing smile, and a spark of recognition flared in those deep, mysterious eyes. 

The unspoken tension that had been simmering between you erupted in a whirlwind of excitement. It was a dance of anticipation and curiosity, an unspoken agreement that you had both been waiting for this moment. And even though the music continued to thump, and the crowd continued to revel, for that brief, electric moment, it was just the two of you, locked in a silent, thrilling connection.

You told him your name when he asked for it, and he introduced himself as ‘Jeno’. 

“You wanna take this upstairs?” he asked with a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

You sucked in a breath and nodded before he pulled the mask back down and took your hand in his to lead the way through the crowd.

The staircase was crowded with a few people, Minjeong included. You spotted her talking to a girl in fairy costume and when you caught her eye, she gave you a grin, wider than you’ve ever seen. 

Every now and then, Jeno’s leather gloved hand would lightly squeeze yours as you climbed up the stairs. You held on a little tighter each time, but before you knew it, you were standing in front of a room with a big ‘JN’ poster hanging in the middle.

The boy opened the door for you and let you enter first before entering himself. The door clicked shut behind you as you sat down on the bed, your eyes locked on Jeno's every move. With a seductive confidence, he slowly peeled off the Ghost Face mask, revealing a mischievous smirk that sent a shiver down your spine.

As he stepped closer, his eyes never leaving yours, you sucked in a breath in response to the sensual tension that crackled between you. His gloved hands, still gripping the mask, dropped to his sides, and he advanced with a slow, deliberate purpose. The room was drowning in desire, and you couldn't tear your gaze away from him.

Jeno moved in until he was standing directly in front of you. His presence was magnetic, and you found yourself unable to resist as he placed a hand on your cheek, his thumb gently caressing your skin. The touch was electrifying, and you leaned into it, your eyes closing as you savored the sensation. You reached up slowly and pulled his hands away, suddenly regretting it, but you went on with pulling the leather gloves off, exposing a set of large, veiny hands. 

Kicking off your shoes, you moved to the top of his bed and watched as he concentrated on your every move with dark eyes. In a flash, Jeno had pulled off the cloak, leaving his chest exposed and him only in his jeans. It felt like you were freezing without his touch on you, but soon enough, he was in front of you, inspecting your face before his eyes ultimately landed on your lips that were stained red from makeup.

His lips rushed to meet yours in a tantalising kiss, a soft exploration that soon deepened into a passionate melding of mouths. The taste of him was intoxicating, and your tongues danced in a heated rhythm, exchanging breathless sighs and moans. Every kiss, every brush of his lips against yours, sent a rush of heat through your body. It was amazing.

His hands travelled from your face, down to your waist and they pulled you to meet his body. Jeno groaned into the kiss from all the friction caused by his chest rubbing against your sweater, making his nipples hard and sensitive. 

While your arms wrap around his neck, Jeno’s hips dig into yours, creating a tent in his pants. It’s hard and uncomfortable but the pressure it’s putting on your cunt is to die for, so you grind… hard. Jeno moans your name while his hands tug at your jeans so aggressively you thought he would tear them if he continued. After blindly messing around with your pants, Jeno popped the button open and pulled down your jeans, exposing the lacy underwear you had on. 

You whined as he pulled away from your lips but you shut up quicker than ever when you noticed how he was staring at your pussy. He looked hungry.

He looked like he was starving.

And starving, he was.

Jeno practically tore off your panties, tossing them somewhere behind him, before he dove into you. His tongue pressed flat against your pussy, licking a stripe up, the muscle’s warmth and making you moan softly. His nose poked at your clit as his tongue toyed with your hole. He lapped at your folds, making sure no spot was left untouched by his tongue. Jeno loved the way you tasted; you had the best pussy he’s ever eaten, he felt like he could spend all day eating you out, and he’d never get tired of it. 

Jeno pulled away for a second to put his middle finger in his mouth, coating it in saliva before pressing it to your entrance. A hum escaped your lips as his thick digit slowly pulsed in and out of you as your hands worked to take off your sweater and shirt. Soon, one finger became two, and Jeno went back to eating you out. Your moans were driving him crazy; they were making it hard focus on your clit because his cock was so fucking hard. The hand he had pressed on your lower abdomen moved down to his button, undoing it and moving the zipper down far enough for him to get his dick out. 

As he rubbed his cock, Jeno’s teeth grazed your clit before his lips latched on to it, sucking forcefully. With that, it didn’t take long for that feeling to start to form. As your moans quickened, the pace of Jeno’s fingers grew faster, and he sucked harder on your clit– if it were even possible. He loved the way you were tightening around his fingers, like you were trying to keep them inside you, wanting them absorb your juices.

“Fuck, Jeno…” you gasped, fingers tugging at his dark, messy hair. “God, I’m so close.”

Your eyes squeezed shut right as you were about to cum, but you never did. You felt so high, but now you dropped back down to zero, and you were empty and cold. Opening your eyes, you saw Jeno looking down at you with a smug expression. He leaned down and kissed you softly, which allowed you to taste yourself off his tongue, the somewhat sweet taste filling your mouth. 

Reaching down, you felt for his cock, and began stroking when you found it. He was girthier than other guys you’ve had sex with, and he had a slight curve upwards, but my god was he long. You didn’t know if he would fit, but there was nothing you wouldn’t try. 

Jeno moaned as he kissed you, the feeling of your warm hands rubbing him up and down forced him to thrust at the pace you were moving at. He pulled back from your lips to drop his head into the crook of your neck, marking and panting against the soft skin. Behind the shell of your ear, he wet a small spot with saliva before he kissed it softly, and he did the same to a few other spots. He sucked on your skin until it bruised while he moved down to the curve of your neck. Jeno’s hot tongue laid against your skin once again before he closed his teeth around it. 

You jerked his cock harder as the boy continued to bite into different spots until his husky voice whispered a demand. 

“Stop.” Jeno told you.

You did as you were told, but you kept your fingers trailing up and down his shaft as he kissed back up your neck, to your lips.

“Gimme two seconds.” he said against your lips with a smile. You kissed him quickly before he got up, which made him chuckle. 

You watched as he got up, cock out and everything, which made you smile a bit. Jeno slid off his remaining clothes and tossed them in what presumed to be a laundry bin, and opened a drawer of his dresser, only to pull out something wrapped in a gold foil. 

Oh…

Not one;

Not two;

Or three;

But six.

Jeno pulled out a strand of six condoms before he turned back to you. “Just in case.” he smiled innocently, even though he absolutely was not. He tore one from the line and ripped the top off with his teeth before he handed you the open package. 

“Only six?” you asked in attempt to make a joke out of the pain you’re going to be in tomorrow. 

Jeno chuckled as he shrugged while you took the condom and rolled it on to his cock. “We can use the whole pack if you want, it’s new.”

And that was that, seeing as Jeno grabbed your face and kissed you passionately. His tongue eagerly explored your mouth once again, grazing your own tongue and cheeks before he pulled away. A string of your mixed saliva hung like a teather from your mouth to his.

“Turn over for me, won’t you?” you nodded in a daze and turned so that your face was in the pillows. “Good girl,” he said, his cool hands grazing down your back, sliding all the way down to your ass. He spread your cheeks far enough apart to see everything, and you swore you heard evil laughter coming from somewhere. 

What you thought was going to come, did not, in fact, come. Instead, you were surprised to feel a warm glob of spit fall on to your ass and how it trailed down to your pussy. Jeno leaned down and licked one long stripe, starting from your clit and ending at your ass. His tongue poked into your hole, once again, but this time he scisored in and out, the same way he used his fingers earlier. His tongue was warm and soft inside you, but that feeling didn’t last very long. 

Jeno pulled his tongue out, subbing it out for his fingers, but instead, he used his tongue on your ass, sending shivers down your spine. He licked at the puckered hole, warming it up a bit as he fucked your pussy with his fingers. 

“You doing okay?” he asked, but you were only able to moan out your response. His fingers fucked you faster, his thumb was ruining your clit with friction, your ass was slick with his spit. Everything was happening just as it needed to be for you to cum. “Oh fuck, Jeno, I’m gonna cum.” And this time you did. Jeno’s fingers curled inside you as they fucked you through your orgasm. Your body shook, your pussy was covered in spit and cum. Jeno’s fingers were coated in a mixture of his and your fluids, and he sucked it off like he was eating icing from a cake. 

You felt hot and sticky; he hadn’t even fucked you with his cock yet and yet that was the best orgasm you’d ever fucking felt. “Jen… Jeno, I need you.”

The desparity in your voice sent Jeno spiraling and in no time, the fingers in your pussy were gone and his cock was poking at your enterance. He spit into his hand and coated his covered cock in it, even though he doubted he needed it, considering the fact that you were so wet you could drip on to his bed.

With a slow push, Jeno’s cock entered you, but refrained from moving after hearing you gasp. You knew he was going to be big, but you didn’t know he would be that big. He was a length you’d never taken before, so it took you a few minutes to adjust to his size, but soon enough you were able to build up to a medium pace. 

Jeno’s hands snuck up your back to undo the clasp of your bra, exposing your breasts. Jeno firmly gripped your ass, with his thumb prodding at your assshole. You hummed with pleasure as the thick digit dipped into you slightly. With that, along with the pounding from his cock, you were basically in heaven. 

“Faster,” you gasped, finally feeling only pleasure as he fucks into you.

Pulling you up by the shoulder, your bra slipped off in an instant, which let Jeno get a proper view of your tits, plump and beautiful. He watched how they jiggled with each thrust, and he grew more and more fond of them. Jeno even switched his grip on you from your shoulder to your neck. His hand gripped you around the base of your throat, just tight enough for there to be a handprint later. Meanwhile, the other snaked down to your pussy, where he drew fast circles on your clit. Jeno’s cock was deep inside your cunt, it filled you to the brim and you were loving every minute of it. 

And so was he. The sound of skin slapping on skin, how your pussy fit his cock like a glove, how you moaned his name like you knew it well, how your back was practically glued to his chest. That made him go crazy; that made him fuck you even harder– a more vigurous pace that felt so good it brought you to tears. 

Jeno got a hold of one of your nipples, it was hard and practically begging for it to be twisted. You moaned at the feeling and begged for more through your tears, so Jeno’s arms crossed over your stomach, his hands reaching up to play with your nipples some more. He pulled at them until they slipped from his grip, he squeezed them until you begged for mercy. When he shoved two fingers in your mouth, you gagged and yet you could still go further. Jeno pulled his fingers out and covered your tits in your spit.

It didn’t take long for his hips to pick up the pace once he that he was about to cum. Your moans grew choppier and choppier as his thrusts became more sharp. 

“Shit, baby.” he groaned, his teeth biting down on your ear loab as he came. Your breaths were ragged in the moments of his orgasm, but you could feel his cock twitch inside you, even with the condom. Your body couldn’t keep up with the speed he was going at and soon enough you were shaking in his arms for a second time, cumming with him.

When Jeno pulled out, your head lolled backwards and you eyed him with a smile. Jeno kissed your temple and whispered his next words into your skin.

“On to the second condom, then?” You each laughed at his comment and Jeno wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you tightly as he shook with laughter.

The boy helped you off of him before getting off the bed again to switch condoms. The exchange was quick and before you knew it, Jeno was hovering above of you once more, staring down at you like you were his prey. This predatory look formed a pit in your stomach, but the good kind. 

Jeno’s eyes scanned you from head to toe. 

Your body glistened with sweat, collarbones and throat covered with markings of all kinds, your nipples were puffy and wet, and your pussy was swollen and slick with juices. Everything looked delectable; you looked delectable and he was so tempted to consume it all. 

The boy picked up one of your legs and propped it over his shoulder and placed his tip at your entrance. He bottomed out smoothly, and this time you seemed to be able to handle his length much better. Your head sunk into the pillows as you let out a sigh. 

You watched how Jeno’s eyes closed when he felt your cunt wrap around him with his head falling back with pleasure. “Feels so good.” he groaned into the air, his jaw hanging open slightly as he continued to thrust. His head turned to the side and he brought your calf closer to his mouth, littering it with harsh bites and soft kisses.

Biting your lip, you reached your arm out, silently asking for him to come closer to you, to which he accepted. Setting your leg down, Jeno placed his arms on either side of your head, his face now just centimetres away from yours. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you wanted to keep the eye contact, so you mustered up the courage to look into his swirling orbs. In his eyes were a mix of emotions, ones that were unrecognisable to you, but you liked it. Tilting your head up slightly, you pecked his bottom lip lightly, which earned you a grin from Jeno. It grew wider when you wrapped your legs around his waist, bringing him in even closer to you. He hummed and kissed you back forcefully as he picked up the pace, his balls slapping against you sharply. 

The tears that ran from your eyes down your cheeks seemed to motivate Jeno. Before, he could only hear your sobs, but seeing you cry switched something inside him. It made him want to fuck you harder, just to see you cry even harder. You looked so pretty, with your makeup all messy and tears running down your face. He loved it. 

So he fucked you harder, and so you cried harder, you moaned louder, and you pawed at his back. His skin was under your nails, he could feel how they cut into him the harder he thrust. You were driving him fucking insane. 

Jeno leaned his forehead on to yours as he moaned out sweet nothings. “I fucking love your pussy, fuck.” he cursed. His words made you tighten around his cock, which only made him groan louder, but it was like music to your ears. He felt like your pussy was sucking him in the way it would constrict when he fucked into you. 

“Jeno, please,” you whimpered, but you didn’t even know what you were begging for. “Fuck, Jeno, you’re so fucking good.” you repeated your words as you whined out to him. 

His words made your insides flutter, his movements made your heart race and your breaths quicker. Everything felt so good you could barely moan out words anymore. 

He was fucking you dumb and silly. You were nothing but drawn out exclamations and tears. You were so sensitive, and yet you didn’t even want to tell him to stop. 

It was just too good to stop.

So he kept fucking you, and he kept filling you, over, and over, and over again until you felt it. “Jen… Jeno, fuck, I’m cumming.”  Suddenly, Jeno pulled out again, the same way he did earlier, but this time, he crawled between your legs again, fingering you until you came while jerking himself off. This one hit you so hard that your mind went completely blank and no words could even come out of your mouth. Jeno couldn’t even register what happened until he felt a wet substance leak on to his sheet. 

He couldn’t fucking believe it.

His mouth latched on to your squirting cunt almsot immediately, drinking in your juices like it was water. Some  liquid dripped down his neck as he lapped up the rest that leaked from your pussy, but he never let up. He continued to eat you out so well even after you came, you thought you were going to do it again.

As your hand raked through his dark hair, all it took was one tug at his roots for him to cum. Jeno rode his high by fucking himself into his mattress, and until he was done, he rest in between your thighs. 

Slowly making his way up to you, you looked down, only to find that his dick was still hard. “You’re joking, right?”

“How about we finish that pack in a bit, hm?” he grinned, making you scoff. 

[sor-vette]

#15.5 134340 (slowed)

“It’s a refurbished student housing,” you explain as they trail after you like ducks in a row. Even if they don’t understand what you’re saying, they seem to be clinging to every word. Wherever you look there’s always at least one pair of doe eyes staring expectantly back at you a.k.a. what do you do when you open your doors and find a certain retired boyband for some reason wants to move in

• type: ot7 x fem! reader (poly) • w/c: 10.6k • rating: explicit

• c/w: *cracks knuckles* passive & active suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt (drowning) & mention of previous attempts, depression, homophobia, internalized heterosexism, toxic family dynamics, parental issues, use of f slur, infidelity (not really but idk how to describe it), alcohol consumption & its abuse, unhealthy coping mechanisms, smoking, a relationship falling apart, (your beloathed) lack of communication, self - hate, arguments, sort of breakup, crying, pining, struggling with one's sexuality, mentions of depersonalization, so much crying like a ton, angst + smut!! oral (f receiving), spanking, use of a vibrator, light choking (it's...yeah.. hands... the ones who get it, get it), overstimulation, body worship, praise, light marking, just a dash of (healthy!) possessiveness as a treat, implied voyeurism, reader is insecure

• series’ masterlist • other works

• a/n: SMUT IS AT THE END SO IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ IT FEEL FREE TO SKIP :) In this chapter, the relationship between the boys is messy, like just pure angst. At this point in the timeline, they've understood that the nature of their relationship is not only "friends" but they're really struggling with it because 1) there's a lot of them, 2) some of them are insecure with their sexualities 3) all of them are stressed and overworked this year as it was in real life. No one has made it official, so they're all kind of struggling to understand what is this, some want to breach the next step, some are too afraid to commit. No one's the designated bad guy during this, everyone has their reasons, everyone has their hurt, which is I guess, the whole point of this fic. It mostly takes place from early 2018 to early 2019, with the exception of time skip to present day at the very end. In the endnotes, you'll find some trivia about this year and what's released when in this universe. Also, forgive me for the smut, idk how to write it lmao

There's no point in time that Yoongi could name as a schism, as a reason why he felt different to everyone else. There was a boy named Min Yoongi, born on March 9, 1993, and he reckoned that he lived like other kids did.

Yes, the point of darkness was overwhelming yet also invisible. One day a boy, next day a man on a brink of suicide. It wasn't like he wanted it all the time - to die. Maybe once or twice had he gone to the level of planning it out, of doing it, half-heartedly, of course, if not he wouldn't be here to lament on that fact. It was just a never-ending morbid curiosity, like a shock wire that zapped him intermittently over the years. It was just always there - unshakeable, unmendable, a deep need to just rest, disappear, become once again nothing from which he was brought out into life.

It was hardly a new experience, more of an old wound, a scab but he knew not how to treat it. Maybe he should just adjust that this was him, a fundamental part of his existence - to hate it.

Namjoon stormed into his studio, face chafed red from the wind and eyes dead to the world. He walked without speaking a word, dropped a stack of torn pages on top of Yoongi's desk and left just as mutely as he came in. It had become a routine occurrence. Their hatred towards each other had snuck up just as invisible. Or it was not hatred... Yoongi's hand reflexively sank into the pages. Hoseok... No perhaps not hatred, but whatever it was hurt enough to cause unceasing bitterness. Shaking his head, Yoongi purged any stray thoughts - of Hoseok, of Jimin, everyone. Fuck them, he was too tired.

Lazily, he raised the pages to his eyes, trying to decipher the erratic, jumping lines. The ink was smudged in some places and if he would brush them, the words would fade even more as faint moisture still clung to the paper. He glanced outside. The weather was beautiful, with not a single rain cloud in sight.

He drew a big, exhausted sigh but made no attempt to follow Namjoon, it would not be welcome anyway. Rather, he fished out a nearby pen and traced the lyrics.

If only I could, I wanted to ask you Why did you do that back then? Why did you kick me out? Without a name to myself, I still revolve around you Our goodbye is colourless, that unchanging colour

He stood frozen with flowers in hand like a complete fool, stuck mid-step. What he wanted, was to run to fly, no, to evaporate, perhaps never to be born. She was really pretty and nice, blushing timidly she adjusted Hoseok's shirt around her bare thighs and Yoongi turned away to not make her uncomfortable. He wanted to hate her, to scream and curse at her but it would be unfair and he was not in the habit of ever insulting women. As Hoseok padded out of his room, he froze as well, momentarily glancing down at the flowers. The ones Yoongi knew he knew were meant for and for a brief, passing moment Hoseok's face fell dour, even something akin to guilt coloured his cheeks but then it passed and if there ever was a sound to heartbreak it would be the one Yoongi heard right now.

"Hi, you're Suga, right? Hoseok's friend?" the girl asked awkwardly, trying to ease the surging tension.

"No," he croaked.

Hoseok was staring at the wall. How do you tell your sneaky link that Yoongi was not only "that friend" but also soulmate, a lover, a hole of fucking dirt it seemed that deserved no explanation, not a single word of clarity. Her eyes flitted between the two men as tension was rising to a nearly unbearable degree.

"I'll go freshen up," she at last squeaks and was quick to scurry away. Yoongi wanted to do much the same.

"What's her name?" Yoongi asked, tone deep and expressionless as he watched her disappear. His head simply refused to turn towards Hoseok and maybe that was for the better.

"It's...uh... Do-Yun, yeah."

"Do-Yun is blonde."

Hoseok fell silent, dropping his hands by the side. Yoongi didn't know which one was worse if Hoseok would start actually loving them or remain like this. Either way, he was tired of hearing how he was Hoseok's happiness, how he set him free, how he could be the only one Hoseok didn't have to pretend with, only to be met every other morning with this - a new starstruck fancy and his own heart in tatters. He was done.

"Hey...Yoongi," Hoseok began, perhaps telling from Yoongi's expression that this time was different but he didn't want to listen to anything anymore. Definitely no more lies.

Without replying, he took a step back when Hoseok reached out and tossed the bouquet into the trash without looking back.

The most aggravating thing, of course, whether they believed it or not, was that they were all connected. More like flies in the same spider web but connected nonetheless. So when Yoongi wanted to leave, he couldn't. There were still remaining five members with who,m the relationship was no easier nowadays. They didn't know what exactly was the catalyst but the situation was stifling. They tolerated each other only due to the sheer force of managers manifesting itself as being physically pulled by their hair to be in the same room, it was just that nauseating.

Yoongi breezed past Jin, not acknowledging his presence in the lobby. To be fair neither did he as Jin's gaze remained firmly focused on the ground. From one of the rooms, raised, furious voices were travelling down the hall, inciting piqued and also nervous attention. The door was ripped open and Jungkook ran out, cheeks covered in tears. He pushed past everyone, blind and deaf to Jimin's calls after him. Wasn't that a familiar scene. Jimin stood in the doorway, frowning. On his neck Yoongi spotted a hickey and though faint there was a perfume lingering in the air that distinctly didn't belong to any of them. It was sickening and yet by now familiar.

"What do you want?" he snapped at Yoongi watching him.

"Nothing from you."

Jimin turned around and slammed the doors shut so hard they made a loud creak of protest. Numbly Yoongi trekked on, ignoring everyone's inquisitive glances. But the day proved itself in desperate need to screw him over because in front of his studio lo' and behold sat Hoseok. Unkempt and sleepless, he was perched on the ground, seemingly gone to the trouble of being here the whole night - waiting. Where once this gesture would make Yoongi's heartbeat out of his chest, now it left behind a sour taste. He just wanted to be alone. They didn't want him anyway so why the display?

Noticing Yoongi's slumped shuffling, Hoseok sprung up, eyes wide in panic.

"Hey," he stammered but Yoongi didn't respond.

Walking straight ahead he typed in the code and would have run into the safety of the four walls if not for the hand grabbing his elbow.

"I'm... Listen... I can be better-"

"No, stop. Stop spewing the usual routine! I don't care anymore."

With some sick satisfaction, he watched Hoseok recoil. When he spoke his voice was thin and watery.

"You don't?"

"No," Yoongi lied, "I don't. Did you think I was going to wait for you forever? Like a dog? Am I your pet?"

Hoseok took a step back, shaking his head, mortified.

"No! Of course not! It's just..."

Yoongi narrowed his eyes.

"Just - what?" he asked venom dripping from his tone.

"You know...It's not... you!" Hoseok shrunk in on himself. "You're confident about it. You...you say who you are and you don't care what people think! I can't...you know I struggle."

"So does Namjoon," Yoongi snarled. "But he at least respects me."

"I do respect y-"

"No, no. I'm done, Hoseok, I'm just done."

And so the conversation ended with a similar door slam.

There’s no name allowed for me I, too, used to be your star You must feel nice to be the light All I did was to receive you

Yoongi sat fiddling with the water glass, his hands clammy and his heart trembling to the point he had half the mind to worry whether it was an early stroke. The pleasant music of the restaurant did nothing to soothe his nerves.

"Hello, son," his mother cooed all the from the entrance across the floor. He got up and was instantly welcomed in her arms. Her grip was so strong he began to choke. His father trailed behind and the only greeting between them was a brisk nod. While the attempts to remain civil and conversational were made, they quickly fell through and they were left ticking slowly away. The dam burst with a seemingly innocuous albeit difficult question.

"Are you still living with those boys?" his father asked, tense and glaring at the steak.

"They're in dorms, honey, of course, they would live together," his mother laughed, glancing anxiously at Yoongi. Her eyes pleaded to not say anything but as the night progressed, so were his nerves stretched thinner. He was just so very, very tired.

"Still, when you're on a break shouldn't a healthy young man live on his own? What if you want to bring a girl home?"

Yoongi's jaw tightened.

"I don't bring girls home," he quietly amended.

His father's lips thinned.

"What do you mean by healthy?"

The whole table stopped breathing and his mother drew a big sigh, preemptively hiding her face away.

"You know what I mean."

"I do," Yoongi hummed, "but please explain anyway."

He didn't, instead, simply kept glaring but Yoongi being now not a 15-year-old kid but a seasoned man well versed in all manners of hate, responded in earnest.

"Oh, did you mean if I would bring men home? Would I be sick then?"

"It's not natural."

Yoongi fixed him with a cold glare.

"You know what's not natural? For a father to ignore his family, for him to gamble away all day when his children and wife work themselves to death to eat."

"I WILL NOT HAVE A FAG FOR A SON!" his father smacked the table so loud, the wine glass tipped over and spilt all over the white linen cloth.

"Then I will not be your son," Yoongi calmly concluded, raising to stand. He bowed to his mother, expressing that he was glad to see her and left the restaurant.

Driving back home, he bought bottle after bottle,, so much so the cashier was worried he'd drink himself to death. Yoongi wanted to smirk and crack a joke that indeed that was the plan but deciding against traumatising a stranger he settled on an impassive shrug. He drank until laughter rose from his chest. Though when inevitably it stopped, he felt somehow even worse. His phone kept buzzing, and his father's words kept ringing into his ears, and the numerous arguments and disappointments kept replaying in front of his eyes and he just wanted for it to stop. Stumbling his way to the bathroom he looked at the clear water of the running bath. Then without much thinking, acting on a split second straying thought he stuck his head in and kept it there. He forced his head down as his lungs began to burn as it started to hurt, oh God, it hurt so much but stubbornly he kept his head underwater, feeling with every passing second like he was going to explode. Namjoon should have a fun time trying to get a call back if he was dead. But still, when the moment came, his body slung back, deprived of all strength and miserably Yooongi was still very much alive, only hacking up water and clawing at the bathroom tiles.

After that, he took a sick leave and was happy to not see anything but the wall for three days straight.

What meaning is left of the fallen planet’s remaining life I’ll receive it til' I die, your stifling stare I still orbit you, and nothing’s changed If love has no name, everything has changed

Yoongi was sitting the furthest away from everyone when in the meeting room they weighed on the idea of disbandment. Bang Si-hyuk and Sejin were sweating bullets, rightfully so, but there was nothing they could do to stop the golden geese from leaving if they wanted to. And by the looks of it - they wanted to. No one did so much as a glimpse at each other maybe for Taehyung and Jungkook but one glance at absolutely homicidal Jimin and Jungkook, at least outwardly so, cast away any regrets.

"Boys, boys, I'm sure you can patch thing up!" Sejin tried to appease. Namjoon opened his mouth but was quickly interrupted by Yoongi.

"I don't want to patch thing up."

To say that Bang Si-hyuk felt sick would be an understatement. If Yoongi wanted out there was little chance the rest could be dissuaded.

"I'm done being your doll and I'm done with everyone in this room," he sneered and walked out, trying to not even catch a peek of the heartbroken expressions.

He kept working still, too scared that if he would go home, the incident would occur again but when his head hit the edge of the desk and his shoulder hurt too much from lounging on the sofa, begrudgingly Yoongi dragged himself out. It was 3 in the morning and so Bighit was emptier though not entirely vacant.

He walked with head hung long, sight occasionally blurring. Another body slammed into his and Yoongi was just about to apologize when he recognized that it was Jimin. So he said nothing. The fights had been too many to count and so brutal Yoongi didn't even recall what he should despise Jimin exactly for but he did his best to keep the flame going

"Does your shoulder hurt?" it was said exceptionally wry and with a hard scowl.

"Yes," Yoongi grimaced as well.

"Take some pain medication."

"I will."

A beat of silence passed between them.

"You know what I hate most about you?" Jimin asked and Yoongi's fists bunched up as if to physically protect him from the heartbreak.

"What?"

Jimin lunged forwards and as he did there was perhaps a briefly humorous flash of "that gremlin is going to beat me up!" but instead of a punch, Jimin landed a hug.

He clung around Yoongi's waist like a lifeline and when his nose made impact with his neck, it became wet.

"I can't hate you, I try and I can't!" he cried. " I don't hate you or anyone or even her, I just..." his breath became a mess of incoherent sobs. " I just really hate myself."

Hearing the sharp desperation in his voice. Yoongi wrapped his arms around Jimin's waist in return. He was shaking so bad it was a miracle he was still standing.

"Tell me how to not hate myself. Tell me, Yoongi, please!"

And with a sad, hollow feeling that rises when such a realization takes place, Yoongi recognised he didn't know.

Could it be really that you’ve found Eris Tell me, how am I not as good as that moon Us is the plural form of U Maybe I wasn’t there from the start

They agreed to at least stay amicable if the worst is about to happen. And it was about to happen. Yoongi felt much like he was strapped to a maglev train, rapidly breezing past everything towards an unforgiving and cruel cliff face. There was nothing he could do to stop the collision, nothing to save them from the painful demise, bounding without a care for their well being. Of course, the arrangement to at least call once a year is only made with Jimin. He was the only one Yoongi had spoken a single word on his own wish. But he was getting worse each day. They all were. When cameras turned away all smiles and cheer fled, leaving only soulless shells, lingering around like ghosts. The disbandment was largely now an undisputed fact. Preparations were made to say the final words and dance the final stage. It felt surreal to quit right at the height of their career but if anything that strained them only to new lows. No longer having their trusted supported system, everyone sought comfort wherever they could. Yoongi and Jimin drank regularly, Jin spent thousands if not millions on food or locked himself in the room all day, similarly to Jungkook. No one knew exactly what Taehyung was doing but since his other friends haven't heard from him either, the general understanding was that he did it alone. Namjoon busied himself into work, nearly all hours of the day could light be seen in his studio. But it was Hoseok who took to it the hardest. He reeked of cigarettes, sometimes came to work dreadfully hangover and spoke only in single sentences with long periods of silence between. It was hard for Yoongi to insist that he didn't care when watching them all just...fade. It did become easier when he recalled previous strings of lovers some amassed all while telling Yoogni that they were in love with him. Yes, then it became easier. But not by a lot. In many ways, time was ticking to an end for Yoongi's career, his friends and maybe his life too. He just wasn't sure of anything these days.

Someday, you’ll also understand my words My seasons were always you My cold heart is 248 degrees below zero It stopped the day you erased me Damn

"What do you mean you're in Rome?"

"It means that I'm here," Yoongi replied dryly.

"You are supposed to be in Paris!"

"I'm well aware."

If feasible, Namjoon would scream right into the phone but being a good leader he just relayed the information to Sejin who did scream. There was this little tiny detail that in twelve hours, he was supposed to be in concert in Paris but he was, extraordinarily and without his understanding, standing in Rome.

Yoongi was rather certain he had taken the right plane but the point stood that against all logic he wounded up many kilometres away from where he needed to be, without a manager or a bodyguard in sight. He was for the first time in a long time, longer than he could recall, free. With only a backpack to his name, he blended well into his surroundings with none the wiser of his identity. That actuality washed over him, making his head swim as though intoxicated. There was a great deal of chatter behind the phone, compromised security, postponement and such but it all brushed past him. He kept blinking at the airport announcement board with a newfound sense of amazement, wondering time and time again - what if he just kept being normal? Kept having the privilege of enjoying simple things?

All he gathered, in the end, was to not wander off. They shall send him security and managers. Jugnkook even advised to lock himself in the bathroom but Yoongi did no such thing. He got a coffee, a sandwich, plus some kind of sweet thing that he did not know the name of and while swaying his legs back and forth enjoyed this small reverie. It was somehow easier to breathe and his shoulder despite still aching, hurt a lot less than usual. If Yoongi didn't know better, he would almost think there was something magical at play this particular day. As he looked over the crowd of rushing people his eyes naturally lingered on one. He didn't know why he kept staring at the stranger but deep inside he had this gnawing like a distant suspicion. Intently following their journey, from the sleep-deprived stumble into the doors to the breakage of the suitcase. A suitcase whose colour made his blood run cold. Suddenly, he's taken years back, rain bouncing like bullets underneath the tarp of the 24/7 store. Him, tucked by Hoseok's side and someone, that someone, you, standing further away, red suitcase in tow and watching them back from the dark.

The longer he looked at, the less he could reign in the horrifying reckoning that her and well, her, were, somehow, the same person. He knew that red, he knew that shade. It was such a little detail but he remembered it so well. That red is the same red they kept mentioning in their songs, that red - the same red Jimin loathed so, that red - the same one which he saw behind his eyes, wondering how life would be if they'd done things differently.

She raised her head and met Yoongi's gaze. And he couldn't look away no more and he couldn't think of anything else. Did she understand? Did you understand who sat before you? Did you understand the things unravelling outside your reach?

No, you must not, because you fixed your suitcase, beat the fallen off handle in its place and walked away. Yoongi sprung from his seat. There are muffled complaints coming around - his coffee cup had fallen on the floor - but he didn't think of them. Didn't spend a single second on anything else. In frenzy one he didn't quite fully understand, he rushed after her. The only thing in his vision was the stupid red of her stupid suitcase which he chased like a moth does a flame. This is wrong, he told himself, it's wrong but he couldn't stop. He wanted to cry on her shoulder and tell her all the things that were or could be and most of all he wanted to know whether she had this space as well. Like a missing tooth or a piece of misplaced furniture, an awkward gap in Yoongi's heart that reminded him ever so often of what was not where it should be.

He finally found her right at the exit of the airport standing unsurely by the revolving doorway. The beautiful city of Rome was in front of her and the slight wind ruffled her hair. She should be excited but she was far from so. In fact, Yoongi had not yet seen eyes so lifelessly vacant. He thought to himself that she did feel as terribly lonely as he did.

He took a cautious step forward, ripping the skin off his fingers, not quite knowing what to do. But if she was as abandoned as he, maybe the story of having soulmates will bring some comfort, no matter how delirious. That there was someone, well, seven someone's meant to care for her. But then he recalled Hoseok, staring off into the wall as the next girl escapes their apartment, the endless arguments, the brushed off affections, crying, screaming, panic attacks in the corners, diets and his head below the waterline, hoping that this time will be the one he would be successful. That made him pause mid-step and gaze sadly on. What love did they have, could they give?

"I just really hate myself," Jimin's words rung crystal clear back into his ears. They had none for themselves where else to another person. Whatever dread she was feeling passed and after drawing a deep breath she stepped outside the airport. Outside this small miraculous bubble of impossibility that brought them together across the wide world. And as Yoongi watched her leave, the red suitcase trailing behind, he wished only the best.

The Paris show started as planned. It went so well, momentarily everyone forgot the circumstances around each other, animatedly chattering backstage. Jimin was lounging across Jungkook and Taehyung, Jin and Namjoon laughed heartily on the side, Hoseok hugged Yoongi and he did not push the man away. It seemed for an insane moment that the bad times will pass, that this hurt will heal on its own so that they could just enjoy each other's presence like they used to. But it doesn't. The second that rush died down, the hurt settled back like an oozing scab and one by one they realized what they were doing. And to everyone's chagrin, the playful atmosphere dissipated. And Yoongi, now brushed away, thought against mentioning that he'd seen her. Selfishly, he kept this memory to himself.

I’m just orbiting you (I missed you, I lost you) I’m just going in circles (You erased me, you forgot me)

I once belonged in a world under the sun (The song paused, the song stopped) A smoky layer of mist in the heart of the stars (You erased me, you forgot me)

It’s not much different from yesterday ay Same old days, except you’re not here We were together just up until yesterday ay But it’s to the point where it’s scary, same days but no you

This was it. The tour was coming to an end, ominous December 18th looming on the calendar. The last days. Yoongi had not seen anyone else for some time now. The only contact was Jungkook's text sent some time ago.

Even despite it all, I don't regret meeting you.

And that was it.

Eight years down the drain. Any day now Bighit will publish the disbandment announcement whilst furiously trying to arrange schedules, decline meetings snd generally ease them back into obscurity. They queued up their last songs, their final messages and prepared to promptly disappear from everyone's and especially each other's lives. Soulmates?

What a bunch fucking bullshit.

He heard a ring by the door, frowning at it from his nest of blankets on the bed. Around him there lay documents and chunks of scratched lyrics. Namjoon's song which he had worked all the way from March was yet unfinished and Yoongi feared it never will be. It was too much...too much of him had bled into it, leaving behind spots of ink pooling like blood around the paper. Sneering at the fallen papers when Yoongi at last rustled to climb out the bed, waddling his way to the door. Warily glancing through the peephole, he was surprised to see Hoseok on the other side. He was gnawing on his lip, pacing around with flowers in his hand. It had been nearly a year since meeting not-Do-Yun nevertheless he was hit with a wave of deja vu. His hair was unwashed and he was so tired, he couldn't even stand straight. For some unknown reason, his heart beat sickly in his chest, too faint and too strong at the same time. Should he just leave Hoseok, just never open the doors? He wanted to. It would be a safe action. But then he looked back onto the big bold letters of December 18th on the calendar. They didn't have much time left. Who knew maybe this was the last time he would ever see Hoseok face to face like friends, like... whatever the hell they were to each other.

Oddly self-conscious, he popped the door open and Hoseok jumped, clearly not anticipating that he would be listened to. When he saw the opening doors, his face was briefly illuminated by the brightest smile Yoongi had yet seen on him this year, and he tried not to think at all how it stirred something in his gut.

"Hey," Hoseok swayed on his feet, waving awkwardly. "T-these are for you."

He thrust a bouquet of colourful tulips into Yoongi's arms before he even could say anything. He held them close, not quite certain what to do anymore.

"Thanks," he wheezed. Hoseok looked him over.

"Are you taking care of yourself?"

Yoongi hoped that the bandage on his arm was not noticeable at this angle or the shards of glass from when he smashed the bottle of whiskey yesterday.

"Adequate enough."

It was obviously a lie but one Hoseok did not call him out on.

"I just wanted to say that they pulled out our appearance SBS’ Gayo Daejeon year-end show as well as KBS’ Gayo Daechukje year-end show."

Yoongi nodded along, gazing at the flowers. They smelt nice and the petals were in pristine condition.

"Jimin will release his solo track "Promise" on December 31 and then -"

"That's it," he concluded emptily and Hoseok's eyes began to get suspiciously damp.

"That's it," he echoed, trying to subtly wipe at his face. Yoongi shifted from one foot to another but nothing alleviated the lump rising in his throat. That train had picked up speed and he was breaths away from hitting the wall.

"Have you heard it?" he asked Hoseok lowly receiving a jittery shake of the head in response. He was on the verge of tears.

"N-no, h-he...we h-haven't made up," he gasped for air. "I-I've on-only seen Namjoon."

Yoongi remained standing in the doorway, wrenched apart by guilt and discomfort and pity and the need to protect and the need to curl up into a ball and just die. This was not how it was meant to be. They were okay with the world tearing them apart, expecting it anyway but not each other to do so. Why had the arguments become too much to be settled, since when was pride too important to listen to the other? When had they gone so wrong?

That point of darkness remained invisible still.

"I-I came here to say, th-that I don't regret meeting you. I regret hurting you, I regret lying but not meeting you," Hoseok cried in his sleeve, muffling most of his voice so that the tears would at least not be so audible. Yoongi heard it nonetheless.

"Take care of yourself. You deserve more. I'm sorry for everything. I love you, I'm sorry," and then he simply ran off.

Yoongi was yet again left standing alone and numb.

I’ll be honest, even up until one year without you I was fine, I didn’t have any feelings left The last day I had forgotten I don’t even remember your scent But wait, I’ve smelled this perfume somewhere, ay Just when my memory was about to come back I turned my head around and saw you You’re smiling brightly, but beside you there’s

I love you, I'm sorry. I love you, I'm sorry. I love you, I'm sorry. I love you, I'm sorry. I love you, I'm sorry. I love you, I'm sorry.

He glimpsed back onto the apartment. It was messy and trashed. He didn't have the strength to cook, to clean, to do anything but spiral, deeper and deeper. He knew, he knew it in his bones, that if he stayed he would do something to himself and that it was no little chance that his luck would finally wear out.

"What the hell are you sorry for, bastard?" he muttered to himself, stomping through the streets. Large, wet snowflakes were falling from the sky, dusting the world in a faint white layer that inevitably melted into a sludge of grey and brown. People and cars rushed past him but he nor heard, nor saw any of them.

I love you, I'm sorry. I love you, I'm sorry. I love you, I'm sorry. I love you, I'm sorry. I love you, I'm sorry. I love you, I'm sorry.

It became too much. The words pressed on his head, creating a neverending noise looping round and round and round. All that was said, what should be said what won't be said. It was getting hard to breathe.

He won't see them ever again. They will remain too stubborn, then too scared to reach out. They will never see each other again. It will be over. He had met his cliff face and it destroyed him. Splatters of yellow, white and red painted the snow. It was the tulips. Yoongi had been holding them all this time and as he struggled to breathe, unknowingly he had broken the blooms from the stems when he had clutched them too hard.

With a sharp gasp, he kneeled down, trying to gather them up once again but the damage was irreparable. The flowers were broken.

"Are you okay, mister?" a pleasant voice asked and a swishing end of a bright red coat entered his vision. He raised his gaze, desperate for it to be her, he thinks she would understand him, but it was not. Snow fell into Yoongi's face and he didn't know whether that made his face wet or was he crying just like Hoseok. It was not her.

"No," he replied.

"I don't think those flowers can be repaired."

"I know."

Yoongi made no attempt to get himself off the cold ground. He wanted to melt into it, into serenity and stop all of this.

"You can pick up the blooms though. My mom used to do that. Just the blooms and then put them in a shallow bowl of water. They'll keep living at least for a few days."

Obeying her command, Yoongi picked up the blooms and bowed to her in gratitude though he spoke no more. As he walked further along the streets, holding tightly onto what he could salvage, he didn't see how the woman looked after him. When he turned the corner she shook her head.

"Idiots," she whispered to herself and walked away.

Yoongi moved without much understanding or even recognition of what reality was. The lights blended in one, all the sounds, all the people, everything was a mass that enveloped all around but he could not make sense of.

He will lose, he had lost everything.

Namjoon, his number one supporter, Jin, his number one entertainer, Hoseok, his ray of sun, Taehyung, his unexpected but devoted idiot, Jimin, both the angel and the devil on his shoulder and Jungkook, who looked at Yoongi like he was the star. Like he was someone special. They all looked like he was someone to be adored, someone to be loved.

He stopped walking when he tripped over something and fell flat on his back. The tulips he managed to keep close to his chest this time. And for some reason his coat smelt of Hoseok.

"Yoongi, are you okay?" he heard Jungkook's voice and not a second later was yanked upwards. He blinked wearily through the snow and saw the once familiar 24/7 shop, the tarp, the seats, the tight voices of everyone around. He had found his far way into Daehang-no.

How are you? I’m doing okay Unlike my heart, that feels like it’ll explode The temperature right now is -248 degrees

"I hate you more!"

"No, I hate you!"

"You had no right to say it!"

"You had no right to do it!"

"Do you want us to part?! Do you want to get away?!"

"No, I don't want to! Do you?!"

"No, I can't stand the thought!"

They screamed their throats raw and once they did that they talked, and drank, but mostly talked. Yoongi said little as usual, merely looking on. Jungkook placed his head on Yoongi's shoulder as neither had the strength left to put up the front that they didn't care. They cared so much, perhaps too much. Maybe that's what caused the drift in its core. Not the hate, but the care that had been left unspoken and unmentioned for too long.

"I can't stop thinking of her," he muttered to Jungkook, brushing the petals of the red tulip. "I can't stop thinking of what her day is like, what she's doing, how she's feeling."

Jungkook reached to touch his chest.

"She's fine today," he answered as if he knew.

"You don't know that."

"I know. I have... a talent."

Yoongi put his head atop of Jungkook's and pestered him no longer. If he said he did, maybe he did. The world was so strange, far stranger than Yoongi had given it credit for.

"I don't want to leave," Taehyung cried onto the table, the warm tears melting away the small remnants of snow that managed to stick to the plastic. "I don't want to leave! What am I supposed to do without you?"

"Don't cry, Taehyung," Jimin insisted wiping away his friend's cheeks even if he was the one that bawled the most.

"Fuck this, let's just stay together," Jin called out. "Who cares what we are? What we call each other? Do you care?" he looked onto Namjoon who shook his head furiously, turning briefly green as the motion sickness took over.

"Do you care?" Jin asked Yoongi and nuzzling into his padded coat, Yoongi shook his head as well. He did not.

"Then what, pardon my language, the fuck are we doing? Are we idiots or something?"

"Undoubtedly," Hoseok murmured.

After a few more drinks, Namjoon fell flat on his ass and announced in horror that Sejin was releasing a statement of their disbandment. Rushing, tripping and yelling over each other they rushed to BigHit and upon seeing Sejin tackled him to the ground.

"We changed our mind!"

"Cancel the disbandment!"

"We're not leaving!"

Sejin was getting purple in Jungkook's chokehold. And Yoongi who kept the tulips in his hand, standing by the side, laughed and laughed until his stomach hurt.

I’m just orbiting you (Beyond the fog, I watch you as you continue to smile Without you or anything There’s no meaning to my irregular orbit)

Jungkook and Jimin finished singing the chorus and Yoongi gave a thumbs up. Namjoon and Jin were sleeping behind him on the small of the couch, Hoseok sat next to him, chiming in occasionally on what sounded better what not and Taehyung was designated on the coffee duty.

It was April 2019 and there had been no disbandment. The tour was quickly gathered up, extension dates added and the single 134340 was set to be released soon, more than a year after Namjoon had dropped the initial lyrics onto Yoongi's desk.

It had not been easy after that, arguments still rose, insecurities still persisted but they did not allow them to escape their control. And when Yoongi told them of the "incident"... they accepted him as he was, while helping the best they could. It was, for now at least, easier to not settle onto any terms, they were as they had been and had no intention of parting and whatever relationship they had going on, that was its groundwork.

"I really like your part," Hoseok remarked, bumping Yoongi's healthy shoulder.

"Thanks," he replied, blushing faintly.

"You sure you want to keep Adora in the song?"

"Yeah, if it's a song about us, she deserves a spot in, even if it's actually Adora's voice."

"Yeah," Hoseok drawled as the door was kicked open and Namjoon fell on the floor, somehow yanking the lamp with him from the shock. Taehyung without batting an eye stepped over, beaming wide and with numerous coffees.

"I got cookies as well," he announced. "They started to sell those giant ones downstairs."

Yoongi's phone rang and so he left right when they began to squabble over who would get the chocolate chip one. It was his brother for some reason.

"Hello?"

But there was no one on the other end. At least, not directly so. There were voices, arguing and loud voices fighting in the distance.

"I will not lose my son!" his mother yelled. Yoongi had not heard her this angry...perhaps forever.

"But he's..."

"I DON'T CARE WHO HE IS OTHER THAN HE IS MY SON! HE'S BEEN WORKING HARDER THAN ANYONE IN THIS FAMILY! HE'S THE REASON WE HAVE A STURDY ROOF OVER OUR HEADS AND NOT YOU! DAMNIT, YOU STUPID MAN, YOU WILL EITHER ACCEPT HIM AS HE IS OR YOU'LL SEE NONE OF US EVER AGAIN!"

And there was a hard smack of doors behind her, most likely the front. Then only silence.

"So you got that, right?" his brother suddenly spoke, nearly sending Yoongi into a shock state.

"Yeah, I got it."

Then he dared to breathe.

"Why did you show me that?"

"I don't know," his brother replied, shrugging almost audibly. "They've been going at this for a while now and I just thought that maybe you might feel...I don't know...unloved, forgotten? ...So don't think that you are... I don't know."

Neither of his mother's sons had the gift of talking easy what they felt, oftentimes, it was easier to just settle on cut fruits, tokens of apologies but not actual words so to hear his brother reach out, no matter how awkwardly, was... it stirred something unexpected when it came to his family.

"Do you care?"

"Not really. I mean, no offence, but you didn't really hide that you're gay even back home."

"I'm not gay."

There was a pause of silence.

"Ok, do you...have you...I don't know, do you identify with something or is it more like "whatever" type of thing."

"I'm pansexual."

Surprisingly, his brother didn't linger anymore.

"Ok, noted. Congratulations?"

"This sort of thing is not congratulated."

They both snickered on each side.

"Ok, noted that as well."

"How...how is he?" Yoongi tapped at the wall while he spoke. His therapist had recently begun working him through on the habit of ruining his fingers be it biting or nibbling, tapping was supposed to help. So he hoped.

"He's...different. It's not that he doesn't...don't think that he hates you...he's just...yeah."

His brother truly had not been gifted with conversational skills, yet Yoongi understood what he meant.

"Hmm."

"Do you wish he would accept you without mom threatening to leave him?

Yoongi laughed dryly.

"Wouldn't that be a perfect world?"

"Yeah," his brother sighed. "Shame though. Listen, I know you're probably busy these days, but...maybe you want to...you know..."

"Meet?"

"Yeah, it'd be cool to catch up."

"Sure. I'll free the schedule. Next week?"

"Alright, next week then. Bye, take care."

"You too."

Still unsure that the call ever happened, Yoongi lowered the phone and a new message popped up. It was from his father.

You are my son.

It took him five whole minutes to send the following text, but Yoongi had kept staring at his phone, so he didn't miss it.

If you want to be.

That was a very good question. A complicated, hard question he didn't know the answer to. Still, he gathered enough courtesy to reply.

Give it some time.

Drawing a deep breath, he tucked the phone away and re-entered the studio. Taehyung was brandishing the chocolate chip cookie.

"My king," he bowed deeply with a lopsided smirk, presenting Yoongi the treat like a crown.

"Knock it off," he scowled playfully, feeling his face grow hot and rushing back into the chair. "What did I do to earn this luxury?"

Namjoon yawned, nearly splitting his jaw in two.

"You've worked on this song harder than any of us. You deserve it."

"Do you think she would like it?" Jimin asked, staring at his cup of coffee. Lately, all his questions were about her but no one could fault him for that. Now, that everyone had stopped arguing, they were left wondering, wondering and dreaming of possibilities far away.

"I like it," you finally gave in as Jimin had gripped your face in his palms and refused to let go. "Of course, I like it. What do you want me to do, say no when you're here to strangle me?!"

It was Friday evening and years had already passed since the creation of 134340. Looking around Yoongi could hardly believe that things could have ever gone so wrong. Sitting in the small sofa, with word games and cards scattered around, squeezed amid the various take out boxes it felt so far away - the bad days, though Yoongi was not naive enough to assume they were out of reach. The arrival of Mark to him felt ominous and your mother even more so. He had somewhat patched things up with his father, not completely but enough to stay in touch, mostly for the sake of his own mother's well being. But he would rather have you not be strained into something like that.

While you and Jimin kept squabbling, he crossed eyes with Hoseok who was watching you intently from the sidelines. He hadn't let you out of his sight ever since the meeting with Mark. Sometimes Yoongi pondered had he looked at Hoseok the same way - reverent but so scared, scared to hurt, to be hurt. As they glanced at each other, they bloomed into knowing, bittersweet smiles. Everything still hung in balance but they had pulled themselves out of a more hopeless ditch so maybe, despite their shared idiocy, everything would fall in its rightful place.

He rather not think of an alternative. The "incident" was not entirely forgotten.

"Yoongi, there's literally a seat over there," Namjoon pointed out, peeking over his glasses as he leisurely munched on a fry, simultaneously obliterating Jungkook at Pictionary.

"So take it then," he tossed back, snuggling deeper into your lap.

"Dear God, it hurts," you whined as he pressed you deeper into the sofa.

"Life is pain, baby, you just have to bear it."

And so he continued to practically purr in your lap while Jungkook was breaths away from tearing into Namjoon. It felt nice having everyone around. Felt like a dream, to be honest.

When the house had quieted down and they retreated for the night, he lingered back to stare through the kitchen window. It still threw him out the loop to find somewhat unfamiliar sights staring back at him. But he didn't regret it. How could he?

When he heard someone padding into the kitchen, he turned around, expectant.

"What are you doing sitting in the dark, weirdo?" you accused him walking to get a cup of water. A habit of yours, one he hadn't at all anticipated this night.

"Waiting for you. Big bad wolf and all that."

"Get the garb, wolf, you're supposed to look like a grandma," you smirked back.

He glimpsed you all over, darting his tongue to wet the drying lips. Your bare legs, your shoulder from which that small piece of fabric you dared to call a nightgown had slipped away from. There was nothing really seductive per se and yet also it was everything. No wonder, Jin had gotten a nosebleed when you started wearing this thing.

"Come with me," he reached his hand out, standing upright. You eyed his hand dubiously.

"Why? It's 1 in the morning and again - why?"

"Do you have to ask so many questions?" he rolled his eyes.

"Yes, because you have this zoned-out look in your eye."

"I do not!"

He perhaps had a very vivid dream three days ago. One he, up to this point, thought had hidden rather well.

"Yes you do and if the Red Riding Hood had asked more questions maybe she would not be eaten."

"What if she wanted to be eaten?"

Even in the dark of the kitchen where the only source of light was the streetlamp outside, he could not miss how you squeezed your thighs closer. He licked his lips once more.

"No one wants to be eaten," you grumbled, peering anywhere but him.

"Get your ass over," Yoongi grabbed your hand and pulled you closer. You began to stare at the ceiling.

"I want to show you something."

Not even a bomb could distract him from the fact that your eyes peered downward, for a millisecond but they did.

"Not that, you pervert," he snickered.

To say that it was mind-boggling to sit in between Yoongi's legs was an understatement. Everywhere you turn, you look or smell, he's just there, like a wall. A very sturdy, warm wall. Or perhaps a blanket. He had wrenched you in between his legs as you both sat and listened to his new tracks. The mystery of his daily appearances had been solved, he was still working, renting out a small space, three streets away and creating his own private little studio. You try to listen, you really do but his arms were flexing right beside you and his fingers were gently but skillfully gliding over the keyboard. And he had interrupted the now daily pleasuring session. It put you to sleep and it eased the nerves that gathered during the day. You may have gotten used to their presence, but not to them always fondling you, especially Jimin and even more so Yoongi. He'd gotten brazen, ever since Jae first appeared. In your own private dreams, you had the delusion to think that maybe he was flirting with you. More often than not he would just stare at you, sometimes looking away when caught, blushing and giggling shyly to himself, other times meeting your gaze full-on with a fuckboy-ish smile.

It was just weird.

"Hey, are you listening?" he nudged your shoulder with his nose, still typing and adjusting something on the equalizer. You had about the same gathering they did when you talked about cornice.

"Uh uh," you were intently following his middle finger stroking down the edge of the laptop.

"I could have sworn you were instead thinking of all those fun times you have with yourself here," his voice dropped down by an octave, not even really sounding like himself while your stomach lurched.

Mortified, you pretend to not understand what he was talking about, trying to not at all weigh on the fact that his arms, shockingly muscular arms, were squeezing you tighter. Or that his breath was in your nape. Or that he was in fact real. Maybe he wasn't. Maybe you were having a dream too good.

"And what would those be?" you snapped but your voice was breathless.

"You should really invest in a quieter vibrator if you want to keep it subtle."

He laughs, not exactly mocking but it does make you shiver.

"Every night as well! Me and the boys can hardly get any sleep."

It should gross you out but it doesn't that they had been listening. The embarrassment of it all of course tells you to toss yourself off the bridge, how were you supposed to look them in the eyes afterwards, but the more frivolous part of yourself is over the moon. These remarks make you feel something you never thought was possible - desired.

"Oh, shut up," you grumble, adjusting the silky nightgown.

It had been an impulse purchase, something to remind yourself once in a while that you were not a formless, putrid blob. Your mind was so loud it was hard to connect it to your body. It was perhaps silly and juvenile to do such a thing through sleepwear but now basking in someone's touch and attention it was more than successful. You felt like you were about to erupt, every touch and every graze reeled you in and out of reality.

"Why? Can't wait to get back to it?"

Yoongi toyed with the strap of your gown and you can barely remember how to breathe.

"Why are you doing that for?" you squeaked.

"Because I want you," he replied like it's easy, like it doesn't just cause your brain to explode. "Do you want me?"

You keep quiet, eyes somewhat squeezed shut. It's not horrifying but it is scary. What are you supposed to say? You hope Yoongi after all this time is not the type to lead you on as a joke, or just because you could but you never met someone who didn't do that. Most of the time you weren't even an option, let alone second or the third or the tenth and it had not bothered you because you hadn't wanted anyone. Before them, at least.

And it was them not just Yoongi.

Images of Hoseok pinning you to the wall, kissing you like he's starved, like was going crazy about not kissing you invade your mind. You well remember the heartache it caused and also the conversation. About asking. Was this Yoongi...asking?

He gently spins you around and you come face to face with his sombre expression. Fuck, he was asking. But you still don't know what to say. Hoseok said that you wouldn't be thinking, really thinking, what it meant being with them. And you weren't. It was hard to think when it all felt like a fever dream.

"Do you want me, baby? The same way I want you?"

You lick your lips and his eyes instantaneously focus there. He even seemed to be shaking, his hands on your shoulders definitely were.

"Don't overthink it, but be certain. If you don't want me, I'll go."

You skim him over. He's good looking of course but that's a little factor, a mere footnote, he was just...comfort. Even now, wearing an oversized shirt and sweats, he looks cosy, like he belongs here, there's no gap of him, the star and the idol and you, the mere mortal with your own mountain of trobles.

"I do want you," you say, squeezing your eyes shut. It was easier to say these things in the dark. "But I don't know how you want me..."

He throws his head back and lets a deep, throaty laugh, hands coming up to squeeze your sides. You shudder violently.

"Is it really not that obvious? Have we been not fawning over you enough?"

He gently noses at your neck and you lean back allowing the small space where he can lay a series of gentle pecks against your thrumming pulse.

Everything of you was rapidly going into overdrive.

Holy shit, holy shit, this is real, you're not dreaming this is real! Wait, you hadn't shaved! Wait, maybe your breath stinks! You still have that rough patch of skin around your knees! You need to shower, you need to shave, you need to get ready! Does he have a condom? Will he fit? Does your vagina even look like how it should?

Yoongi sensing your tensed shoulder leans back, gently massaging them.

"You're overthinking," he mutters, "don't."

"I have anxiety, this is the only thinking I do," you growl back at him and immediately feel a harsh slap on your ass.

Your eyes shot open and you find a mischievously giggling Yoongi staring back at you, smile so wide, his gums show.

"Did you...did you just spank me?" you ask, stunned.

Still snickering, he dares to shrug.

"It'll distract you."

Half joking, you wrap your hand around his neck. Feeling how his heart is threatening to rip out of his system. He blushes bright red but otherwise seems happy.

"You don't know how to choke someone."

"Maybe the intent is not sexual," you threaten.

Quickly he grabs your fingers into his, holding them still and wraps his free hand around your neck. His long fingers wrapping around with ease, noticeable but not overbearing. You stop moving, struggling to breathe from the excitement. Thoughts form and pass by without the capability to stick because - holy shit!

You sit in his lap, the faint sound of his newest tracks still playing in the background, forgotten for now and the room settles with a newfound intimacy of just being close to each, taking in the actuality of the scene.

"If you want to stop, if you feel uncomfortable, say so or tap my shoulder, clonk me on the head, okay? This is about you and what you want."

"That seems slightly unfair," you murmur, caressing his hand absent-mindedly. He shivers.

"I just want to make you feel good. We all want to."

It's the sincerity in his words that makes your shoulders slump back. You relax as best as you could.

"That's a nice start, you're doing very good," he purrs and begins to leave a series of warm kisses against the column of your throat, occasionally biting on the skin, though his palm stays wrapped around your throat. It makes you tremble.

"I thought hickeys are..." your breath hitches, "are...a teenager thing."

"Don't care," he whispers, running his teeth against the soft flesh, "he marked you purple, so will I."

It seems like no passage of time will make them less salty about Jae.

Once he's satisfied meaning your neck looks like you've been chewed by a pack of boars, Yoongi tugs you upward, hands still kneading any knots of your shoulders, releasing any lingering tension.

You might just black out from pure anticipation alone.

As you lean back on the bed, shivering in the cold air, Yoongi stands over you, eyes as dark as the night, seemingly content to just keep watching.

"Stop staring," you murmur, self-consciously, covering your chest with your arms. Your skin feels feverish and you have to squeeze your thighs to lessen the rampaging need for someone to do something. Anything.

"How can I?" he retorts, quickly crawling on top of you. "When you look like a fucking dream."

Oh, he was a menace.

"Quit saying such things," you hide your face in the pillow.

"What that you are gorgeous?" he repeats innocently, kissing your collarbone while his fingers flutter across your inner thigh. "That you're a dream come true? That if I would have my way, you'd be in this bed for days?"

His finger lightly teases your entrance.

"You're so smart, baby, so, so smart but in some areas, you're really not getting some things."

He begins to kiss down your stomach, and even with the nightgown in the way, you can feel everything. You were having a fever, he was putting you in medical condition from all of this.

"So we're just going to make you do some affirmations, alright?"

His hands reached to grab around your ankles as he pushed your thighs open. You stare at the ceiling, unable to breathe or think, just wondering somewhere in a distant brain cortex whether one could die from teasing.

Kissing up each of your thighs, lingering a tad longer on the stretch marks and imperfections, he finally breached the pregnant silence with a guttural growl.

"Question time, baby. What do I love about you?"

"I-I don't know."

He smacks your thigh, the flesh jiggling from the impact.

"My legs!"

"Correct. What else?"

Your mind is coming up blank when his breath ghosts over your cunt.

Giving another hint, his arm reaches to squeeze your nipple.

"My breasts!"

"Correct. What do I want more than anything right now?"

He dives in with a bold lick, teasing your clit.

Your blood reaches a new boiling point.

"Me," you gasp and he hums in agreement. All of which you can feel. It's not long before your thighs begin to shake and attempt to close and the familiar coil begins to wind up in the pit of your stomach. He keeps them open, fingers digging into your flesh while he eats you out like there wasn't anything on heaven or earth that could compare.

Tears begin to collect in the corners of your eyes as you start to shiver violently all while trying not to make a sound.

If they all liked you, which both Yoongi and Hoseok had implied, wouldn't they feel betrayed?

As if sensing your inner turmoil, Yoongi briefly retreats for a breath.

"Keep singing, baby," he insists, smacking your thigh again. "So that everyone can hear you. Namjoon, those stupid neighbours in 38."

Apartment 38 and Yoongi had been having beef for some time now. Something about wrong mail in the wrong mailbox. You couldn't give less of a shit.

"Why Namjoon sp-specifically?" you tug at his hair and he grunts appreciatively.

"He's probably suffering right now, all blue-balled. He's been the horniest out of us all."

That...honestly wasn't as surprising.

Something digs in your back and you whine in pain. Yoongi is quick to look up, sobering slightly at the sound.

"You want to stop? Everything alright?"

Trying to ignore the embarrassing feeling of him just seeing you bare, you dig for the offending object. To your neverending mortification, it is your purple rabbit vibrator.

Yoongi laughs loudly when seeing it.

"Hello, nemesis. I've been wanting to see this thing for quite the while."

He grabs it out of your hand and to your horror, turns it on. The sound is indeed loud.

"It's like a whole truck," he giggles. "And it matches your hair as well!"

"Would you shut the fuck up," you hiss fake crying and then jolt upright as without warning Yoongi pushes it up against your clit. The sound alone had ramped up your nerves to a thousand and you feel that damning sensation of needing something in you as your pussy clenches around nothing.

"You got so wet," he remarks continuing to greedily eat you out, circling the vibrator around your clit. Your back arches and no matter how hard you try, you can't stop making sound. Moaning, whimpering, begging to stop or to continue, it's getting harder to tell.

"Another question, baby," he growls, turning the vibrator to the highest setting. You scream louder, trashing around, all mind and worry escaping.

"Who do you belong to?"

"You! Please don't stop!"

"Say that again."

"I'm yours! Just, please -"

"And who am I?"

You frown in confusion but after a quick slap on the thigh, you dare to say the unimaginable.

"You're mine," you gasp, one stray tear rolling past your temple. "You're mine."

"That's right and don't you forget it."

If Yoongi feels any pain from your attempts to rip the hair out of his head, he doesn't voice it and for a moment all world disappears as that coil in the pit of your stomach rips open. When you come from your high, Yoongi softly pecks at your thighs, casting the vibrator aside.

There's a suspicious bang coming from the other side of the wall and you remember that Jin was sleeping just there. He must have heard, there's was no way he couldn't have but still shivering from the pleasure, it's hard to care for it.

"You did so well, baby, so, so well," he praises crawling away from your lower half and wiping the stray tear. "Do you want to continue?"

You nod mutely, nuzzling already boneless into his arm.

There's no way no one is unaware of what's happening, definitely not when Yoongi has to reach up to the headboard to get the proper angle and it pounds repeatedly against the wall. Or when he hoisted you on top of him, laying his sweaty forehead in the crook of your neck and muttering incoherently how much he adored you, while he palmed your breasts and when subsequently the bed broke and you both rolled onto the floor. It didn't deter anyone. In between sloppy kisses, thrusting so deep you could swear you could feel him in your throat, he opened his mouth to say something, something important, to say that, but you smacked a hand over his lips.

"Don't-don't say it, I'm-I'm not ready for that."

His eyes briefly widened but he understood and nodded along.

When you both came, sticky and covered in sweat, panting and shivering, he whispered in your ear.

"Still, you know that I do. We all do."

You sniffled lightly, overstimulated and emotional. No matter how hard you tried that simple truth was rather hard to grasp. He moved to lay next to you, trembling from the cold seeping off the floor.

"When...when did you start?"

Yoongi sighed with all the weariness in the world.

"Longer than you think. Before we met, really."

You peeked up to his relaxed face, while he leisurely carded his fingers through your hair.

"How is that possible? You can't love someone you've never met."

"Sure you can. If they're your soulmate. Now shut up and go to sleep."

previous ⟷ next

me, dropping this beast of a mess after a long ass time

so, the promised trivia about this universe:

1. 134340 was released as a single in 2019 and not in LY album

2. ARMY was convinced that the boys will disband in 2018 bc it was really apparent how bad their relationship was this year. 2019 started really messy because they were supposed to disband but instead they picked up the tour where they left it off starting with Japan in January 12, 2019

3. Because of the whole situation with Yoongi, Hoseok is so hesitant with MC, he once saw how bad he could mess things up so he's scared that it'll happen again

4. Namjoon saw MC in UN on September 24th and Yoongi saw her in FCO Airport in Rome on October 18th, 2018. She was just accepted late into the interior design program hence why they met. As for how did Yoongi even ended up there, let's just say fate lol

5. I know that irl Yoongi didn't solely create 134340 but in this AU the lyrics really fit with his storyline (and it's one of my faves), so here it is more of his song

6. Yes, literally everyone but MC has gone to therapy lmao

© sor-vette, 2022

[loverspersonas]

the most beautiful moment in life | viii

pairing: ot7? x reader

genre: hyyh au, high school au, angst, drama, fluff, smut?

length: 5.5k

summary: Eight strangers with different stories happen to meet one day, by fate or some kind of cruel, exquisite happenstance, and realize that they’re not as different as they thought.

a/n: i realize i’m updating really slowly and the reason for that is online school which is taking up pretty much all my time BUT it hasn’t stopped me from writing at all. i actually have many different scenes written already, they’re just not in order, so i have to kind of make myself write the scenes that are happening first before any of those, which is hard sometimes cause i have so many ideas :) 

i realize that the pace of the fic is also kind of slow and that’s because i don’t want to have such a big overarching plot (like some kind of mystery to solve or a big villain) but rather small subplots happening at the same time. it feels easier to me to develop characters and relationships and i get to include a lot of different plot ideas that way (and there is so much happening in hyyh). it’s also hard writing this cause the bangtan universe is really complicated when you think too much about it, and we don’t even know everything about it, so i have to work with what we have and what i know. 

so thank you guys for liking what i’m writing! i hope i can do the hyyh era some (even if it’s the tiniest amount) justice, and i hope you guys enjoy it too. and if you have feedback or ideas, i’d love to hear it!

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Remembering details from a dream was a lot harder than a nightmare. Nightmares had you waking up in a cold sweat, sometimes plaguing your mind throughout the day if they were intense enough. Dreams, however, were only alive while you were asleep, and then they slipped away from your mind like they never even happened.

For the past few weeks, you’d been getting dreams that you could mostly or somewhat recall more often. Vague, obscure scenes or flashes that changed sporadically because even in your dream state, you had no control over your mind.

But you noticed that they tended to involve people in your life. Your mother, Sana, your old friends, and the seven boys you’d unconsciously formed a friendship with over the past month. Of course, it didn’t have to mean anything. But some of them strangely stood out more than others. 

One time, you saw Namjoon standing in a dark area with a single white light illuminating his silhouette from above, and a cigarette slipping from between his fingers. Another time, there was Hoseok at what looked like a train station. He was walking along the train tracks at night like he couldn’t see you watching him. And then, there was a scene of Jungkook walking on to the road, changing almost immediately before a car swerved right into him. That was one thing you couldn’t forget. Because you remembered it had been you driving that car.

“Y/N?”

The voice of the exact boy you were thinking of broke through your string of thoughts. When you looked up, you suddenly remembered where you were. 

There were a lot of nice vast areas of green fields that belonged to the Academy. With iron benches and tables and the smell of oak trees, it was an ideal setting for many fundraisers, picnics and outdoor events. You were currently sitting cross legged on top of one of those gray metal tables right beside a tall tree that cast a shade over you and the seven others sitting around you. Judging by the way some of them were looking at you, you must’ve missed something in the conversation.

“Hmm?” you asked, glancing at Jungkook who was sitting beside you, also on top of the table.

“See, I told you she wasn’t listening,” Taehyung said to the two taller boys on either side of him. “Face it, Namjoon. The books were boring.”

While Seokjin seemed thoroughly amused, Namjoon’s expression was just the slightest bit annoyed, so you could tell this argument might have been going on for a while. But his patience with Taehyung and the some of the other boys was astounding to you.

On the opposite side of the bench, Yoongi was sitting with Jimin and Hoseok, and quirked a brow in Taehyung’s way. “You literally said that you watched the Lord of the Rings a month ago.”

“Yeah, so?”

“So?” Namjoon repeated, and the tick in his jaw represented the snapping of his patience. “They have the exact same plot!”

You found yourself drifting from the rest of the conversation again, as some of the other boys began to chime in. On your lap was a notebook you realized you’d been scribbling in with a pencil while the others had been talking. It was hard to decide which was more concerning— the fact that you’d so effectively tuned out the boys, or that you were only vaguely aware that you’d been drawing at the same time.

You felt someone studying you in your peripheral vision. Jungkook decided to finally nudge you. “Not interested in fantasy novel series?”

“No, I—just spaced out for a second,” you answered lamely.

His earlier grin morphed into a slight frown. “Are you okay?”

Am I okay? “Yeah.”

His gaze dropped to your open book, widening a little in mild surprise. “I thought you said you couldn’t draw.”

“I don’t. Art class was an ironic choice that way.”

“What are you talking about?” Jimin said as he leaned over Jungkook to get a better look. Slowly, the others turned their attention towards you too. “This is pretty good.”

Hoseok, who was one of the ones in closest proximity to you, stretched out his hand so you could pass him the book. “Woah.” He went through a few various facial expressions, a lot of them where he scrunched up his eyebrows. “What’s the inspiration behind that?”

“Probably not those dry as hell books,” Taehyung retorted.

Namjoon didn’t hesitate to shove the loud mouthed boy off of the bench, earning more than a few laughs from everyone. Taehyung shot him a glare with an offended hey! 

“Nothing,” you answered him. “I just got distracted.”

The notebook was now in Namjoon’s hand and his expression was contemplative as he fixated his eyes onto the page. “You got distracted and absentmindedly drew this? With no idea in your head?”

“I had a dream.” You gave a shrug, stealing a few potato chips from Jungkook’s snack. “So, I drew it.”

“A dream like this?”

You looked back at him, trying not to frown. “Why, is it that weird?”

“Not weird,” he assured. “Just… a little unusual. I’ve never met anyone our age who would come up with stuff like this from their subconscious.”

“Who’s the boy supposed to be?” Yoongi asked after the book got rotated to him.

“I don’t know,” you answered. There hadn’t been a real chance to glimpse the boy from that scene. All you remembered was the black hair and the white shirt he was wearing as he stood looking out the only window in a plain room with only a mattress and white flower petals scattered on the floor. “Some random guy, I guess.”

“Everyone we see in our dreams are people we’ve seen at some point in our lives,” Namjoon said.

You gave this a considerative hum. Though you knew maybe thirty people who could fit in that description. “Well, I don’t remember then.”

“Let me see,” Seokjin said, taking the book in his hand. A moment later, his face morphed into something you couldn’t quite decipher. But it was like for that moment, he had understood something without realizing it.

“Why the hell are so many people out here at this time?” Jimin spoke up as a few students or groups of them began to appear on the field or pathway, spilling out from the building. “This is when it’s supposed to be the quietest here. I was looking forward to not seeing… pretty much everyone.”

“It’s not like we own this place,” Jungkook reminded him.

Jimin shrugged nonchalantly. “As long as the bright young things don’t show up…“

And just like on cue, the group of cheerleaders and jocks were walking on the opposite side of the field. You didn’t let your attention linger on the old group of friends you didn’t want anything to do with anymore. But as you glanced away, Yoongi caught your eyes as though he knew what you were thinking.

“Way to go, Jimin,” Hoseok said, giving the boy a light shove. “You just manifested it.”

Taehyung leaned back in his seat. “Seeing them this early in the day is really bad for my digestion.”

“Who told you to shove two chocolate muffins down your throat?” Yoongi said to him, referring to the now empty plastic container sitting beside you. You’d made a large quantity of them the other day and after recalling how Hoseok had liked your baking—and all his following requests over texts to make more— maybe the others would like something too. 

The younger boy didn’t acknowledge the harmless judging tone he’d used. “My inner subconscious, which by the way, I have no regrets about.”

“It’s great how you can say that so confidently about something in your life,” Namjoon said with slight skeptical wonder.

“Y/N made those muffins for us with all her heart and soul—“

“Actually, it was just flour and sugar...” you mumbled though your voice was mostly lost under theirs.

“I was just displaying my gratitude,” Taehyung said finally.

“The muffins were actually really good,” Seokjin said to you as he closed the sketchbook and handed it back to you. You made a mental note to ask him about it later.

“Y/N’s a good baker,” Hoseok affirmed before looking at you. “How long did you say you’ve been at it for?”

“Not that long.” You twisted your dyed blonde hair into a bun and slid the pencil you’d been drawing with through it to hold it in place. “I just picked it up this year.”

Taehyung looked at you with a grin. “I guess I’ll have to annoy you enough at work to get stuff for free.”

You returned it with an exaggerated smile. “You come to work during my shift, I’ll have security ask you to leave for harassment.”

His mouth fell open. “B-but I’ll tip!”

You shook your head, chuckling a little. “You’re ridiculous.”

With his arms folded over his chest, he glanced around sombrely. “This is how brittle friendship is, I guess. Like a dark chocolate bar.” 

Namjoon, hiding his amusement with an arched brow, said, “Taehyung, remind me to never ask you for poetry recommendations.”

“Hey.”

Everyone seemed to fall into a silence, realizing that voice didn’t belong to any of you. They turned their heads towards the new arrival, but you didn’t have to look to know who’d approached the table. At first, you thought you could get away without saying anything, but the rest of the boys were casting imperceivable glances in your direction. Finally, one of the others did what you didn’t want to.

“Hi,” Namjoon said to the boy who’d once been the closest to you.

Min-hyuk stood there, as though expecting you to eventually say something to him. Then he looked around the group, smiling his friendly, star quarterback smile. “Sorry to interrupt. I’m Min-hyuk.”

“We know who you are,” Yoongi said, the cold undertones in his voice not going unheard by anyone. Leave it to him to keep things harsh but real.

Min-hyuk, probably not used to hearing that kind of tone with that sentence, stared at the boy, a little dumbfounded. “Oh…”

Namjoon—you reminded yourself to tell the guy what a blessing he was— stepped in again. It was probably good that it was him who was leading the conversation. You’d learned by now that none of the others were quite as sensible and level headed when they needed to be. “What he means is, do you need something?”

“Can we talk, Y/N?” Min-hyuk asked finally, the question you’d been dreading, because now it was explicitly directed at you.

You held back a defeated sigh and said, “I have class in a few—“

“It won’t take long, I promise.”

He seemed to be somewhat satisfied when you looked up at him and nodded just imperceptibly. He started to move away from the table, and you made a move to follow when a hand gently closed around your wrist.

“You know, you don’t have to talk to him if you don’t want to,” Jungkook said quietly but firmly. His eyes held something like concern, and gazing around the table, the others wore similar expressions.

“Yeah,” you said. “But he won’t stop until I do.”

Jungkook released his hand from yours, watching as you got up and walked over to where Min-hyuk was waiting.

You put your hands in your pockets, right away saying, “Let’s get right to point this time, shall we?”

“I left you a note the other day,” he said, not happy with your attitude, but not able to say anything to it either. “You didn’t reply.”

“That was you?” you asked, dumbly. “I didn’t realize.”

“Come on, Y/N. Who else would write you that?” He paused. “My mother said she saw you at the hospital yesterday. Is everything okay?”

You didn’t meet his gaze, instead mostly looking at the ground. If your eyes drifted around too much, you were afraid to see that other students were watching you like a movie scene. You knew that the seven boys you’d just left were certainly doing that. “Uh huh,” you answered, without any emotion.

Min-hyuk held back an impatient noise. “Look, I know you don’t want to talk to me, but I just want to know you’re doing fine.”

This time, you did look up to meet his eyes. “Why?”

“Why?” He was partly taken aback with surprise at your response. “We might not be together anymore, but it’s not like I just don’t care all of a sudden.”

“You didn’t care before.”

He stared at your expression, like he was wondering if you meant it. “Do you really think that?“

“You were never on my side.”

“What?”

Before, this would’ve been hard for you to talk about, because you’d only ever avoided it. To think about it would make you think about all the times you knew you should’ve walked away, the times that you stood there and just took everything when you knew you deserved better than that. But maybe it was time to rip the bandaid off. How long were you going to go back and forth like this? How long was he going to try to hold on to you when you wanted out?

“You wanted to know where it all went wrong,” you spoke. “How about when you stood there and let everyone, even our own friends, say all those things about me. And when I asked you to trust me, you didn’t.”

“It wasn’t that simple.” He shook his head. At least he had the decency to look apologetic, to sound like he meant what he thought. “I–I wanted to trust you—“

“I think I see it now.” It was taking a lot of courage for you to finally say what you needed to say, and now that you finally found it, you didn’t even care that other people were watching or listening. “We were both so good at acting like everything about us was perfect. And as soon as I stopped, things changed. The difference between us is that one of us still pretending.”

“Min-hyuk!” One of his friends from the football team—one of your former ones— came up beside him, tapping his shoulder. He looked at you with the kind of friendliness that was reserved for any random student in the hallway. “Hi, Y/N. What are you guys talking about?”

Min-hyuk seemed to have nothing to say, his gaze on you fixed, but his mind on the words you’d spoken. You were glad you had the ability to leave him speechless, to see him actually opening his eyes to a world outside that bubble he lived in. The bubble that you’d also been a part of, but were now glad to have found a way out.

“Well,” you said to both of them. “I have class now.”

With your bag over your shoulder, you turned and headed for the building without paying attention to any of the stares that followed you.

By the end of the day, that courage and energy that had allowed you to speak up to Min-hyuk had dissipated. Hopefully, he wouldn’t approach you again any time soon. Was it asking too much to not be approached by anyone else at all?

Now, you were standing in front of the doors to the pool once again, looking inside, but not having the courage to go in. It was almost a metaphor for your life. You were standing on the outside of a part of your life from the past, not being able to actually go in and see it properly.

Yoongi’s figure materialized next to you, not saying anything at first as though he could tell you were deep in thought. So, you broke the silence first and asked, “Long day?”

“You have no idea,” he answered. “Guess which asshole of a teacher decided to assign us a 10 page paper due in less than a week?”

Glancing sideways at him, you grinned. “The one who probably has hypertension from having to teach you?”

He shot you a dry look, but the corners of his mouth twitched a little like he was also holding back a grin of his own. “You’re hilarious, princess. But also probably right.” He noticed your attention on the pool on the opposite of the doors. "What, are you not allowed to go in or something? Weren’t you on the swim team at some point?”

Instead of answering, you turned away from the doors and started walking down the hallway. “Weren’t you on the basketball team?”

As Yoongi walked alongside you, subtle surprise appeared on his face. “It’s been a while since anyone’s asked me that.”

“You were captain of the team too, right?” you asked. “That’s how I knew you.”

Something else flickered across his face, though you didn’t know what it was. To you, it was probably the face you wore when you were briefly and vaguely recalling something in your mind.  “Well, it’s always nice to hear that my reputation precedes me. And not just as a gothic, underground rapper.” He ignored your subtle roll of eyes. “I played shooting guard actually.”

You hummed, remembering all the basketball games you attended in the gymnasium with your old friends. As part of the cheerleading team, you’d had an obligation to be there, but some of the games actually got interesting to watch. The first time you’d noticed Yoongi was when one time you’d been running late and had been trying to not fall behind the rest of the team. You remembered dropping one of your pompoms while trying to tie your hair up, and in passing, he’d picked up and handed it to you. You didn’t think he remembered it, and maybe it was a little embarrassing that you did. 

“You were good too.” You stopped near the front doors, most of the students walking around you with no interest since it was the end of the school day. Yoongi shot you a slightly puzzled look. “I was a cheerleader, remember? I’ve been to a bunch of games.”

“I remember,” he said after a moment, and it didn’t sound like something you’d say to someone just to blindly agree with them, so that was why you ended up meeting his gaze. There was something underneath those deep gray eyes that you didn’t really understand, but somehow, still found it startling to hold eye contact.

You half forced a chuckle to move the attention away from you. “Besides, it’s kind of hard to miss the only guy on the team with dyed blonde hair.”

He chuckled. “I almost forgot about that.”

“How could you forget? You were literally my inspiration,” you said, gesturing to your own bleached hair. When he threw you a dubious side eye, you shouldn’t have been surprised. Surely, that would’ve tricked one of the other boys. “Alright, fine, you didn’t. You know, I definitely do not miss the 5 hour practices, or the tiny uniforms or Yuna screaming at some younger, clueless girl to stop slacking.”

“But the outfits were so cute,” Yoongi teased, and though you were glad the topic changed, you shot him an unamused glance. “It was a joke. On a related note… what did the ex-boyfriend want earlier?”

You arched a brow and held back an amused grin. “You can say his name, you know.”

“Yeah, but that would give him too much significance. Unnamed means unimportant.”

You hummed in agreement. “Nothing really.”

“Is that why you ditched us afterwards without so much as a word?” he asked skeptically.

You tried not to sound irritated about it, but you’d hoped you could make it through the day without having to talk about it. “I ditched you, because I wasn’t in the mood to be interrogated about it.”

“How quickly you assume we would interrogate you.”

“Well, wouldn’t you?”

“Fine,” he grumbled after some seconds. “At least 3/7ths of us might. Can you really blame us for being curious? It looked kind of intense.”

Folding your arms over your chest, you looked at him with a grin forming on your lips. “Remember how you said you didn’t care? Well, it’s starting to sound a little like you do.”

He scoffed. “Please. You mistake my blind curiosity for something it isn’t.” He watched you a little longer as you shrugged before saying, “Remember when you said I was good at deflecting? You’re not so bad at it yourself.”

A part of you thought that this was a good time as any to actually talk about it. About how you’d cut things off with Yuna and Min-hyuk, and why you’d wanted to. By now, you felt like you could tell any of the seven boys and they’d listen—actually listen—and Yoongi, despite coming off as aloof and indifferent, wouldn’t judge you or anything. But this recent bond with them felt like a new and good thing, and you just didn’t want to jeopardize it, like you did with most things.

"Do you a need ride home?” Yoongi asked when he realized you were too deep in your head to say anything else about it. “I’m giving Jungkook one too, so I can drop you off after.”

“You go ahead,” you answered. “I have some stuff to do first.”

At first, he seemed almost reluctant to leave you alone, but you had a feeling he wouldn’t insist or comment on it. It would contradict his indifference to most things. Only after he left did you turn and start aimlessly walking down the other side of the hallway. It wasn’t like you had anything to do. You just weren’t sure if you wanted to be around anyone with curiosity like Yoongi’s lingering above your head. Talking about yourself and your personal life was never fun.

Eventually, you ran into another familiar face. 

“Hey, what’s up?” Namjoon said as he approached you in the hall.

“If this is about this morning, I’d rather not talk about it,” you decided to say immediately because if anyone could get answers from you by asking the right questions, it was probably Namjoon.

Fortunately for you, Namjoon could’ve read that from a mile away and wasn’t one to pry. He nodded in understanding. “I figured as much. Oh, hold on a second.” From his backpack, he drew out some loose papers tucked into a notebook. “I went through some of these to find whatever was legible enough.”

You scanned the writing briefly. “Your English notes?”

“Yeah, I remember you said the last class went over your head.” 

“I just don’t understand why it’s bought and not buyed, but it’s walk and walked? Like why can’t they can’t follow the same rule for every past tense conjugation?” you complained, but still a little touched that he remembered something you’d probably said in passing. “But thanks.”

“Also, if you see Taehyung, can you let him know I can’t walk home with him today?”

You nodded. “Sure. Staying back for extra work?”

“No, I—I have a shift today.”

You wondered why he sounded reluctant to answer. “Where do you work?”

“It’s a library,” he said with a small shrug. “It’s on the other side of the city, so I like to leave a little earlier.”

You shot him an amused grin. “Were there no libraries nearby hiring? Because I know if they saw your GPA, they would not hesitate.”

“Uh, this one has a nicer collection.”

“Alright,” you said, deciding not to question his responses since he hadn’t questioned you. But for some reason, it felt like he was trying to hide something. “See you tomorrow then.”

Smiling, he said, “Thanks, Y/N.”

As he walked away, you had to stop the curiosity from getting to you. It truly was an ordeal to be so curious and not want to intrude upon things that didn’t concern you. You had to remind yourself that it was better that information came to you at the right time rather than forcing it. At first, the reminder was about other people, but sometimes, you thought it was also about yourself.

After exiting through the west doors, you noticed Taehyung at the bottom of the staircase right outside the building. He was leaning against the railing, hood over his head and concentrated on whatever game he was playing on his phone. You slowed your steps, approaching the stairs. “You’re still here.”

Taehyung glanced up at you, slipping his phone into his pocket as you came towards him.  “Waiting for Namjoon. The kid’s a genius, but his punctuality could use a little improvement.”

You quirked a brow. “Kid? He’s older than you.”

Folding his arms over his chest, he said pointedly, “And I’m older than you. So how about you don’t question me?”

You had to bite back a smile at his antics. It was hard to believe sometimes that most of these boys were older than you. “He told me to tell you he has work today, so he can’t make it.”

He let out a loud and dramatic groan, practically cringing at himself. “For real? I probably look like some idiot, waiting on the stairs for his even more of an idiot boyfriend.”

You shrugged, not hiding the smile this time. “Just a little.”

He looked back at you. “How are you getting home? I’ll walk with you.”

He already started walking, expecting you to follow, so you didn’t get a chance to reply. With a defeated sigh, you decided to go after him.

Your first mistake was choosing to walk all the way home instead of taking the bus. Your second mistake was letting Taehyung take the lead, because that boy looked like he’d never had a plan a day in his life. While you somewhat admired the spontaneity, you were used to routine or a plan of some kind. Although you did suppose that this year, everything that had happened, and was happening now, was not planned at all.

“I’ve never gone this way before.” 

The buildings were older and a bit worn away, but almost in an intentional manner, posters and signs on the gray brick walls. You passed several small shops and restaurants and cafes that despite appearing quaint seemed very cute. The people that walked by were all in their own worlds, not so much as glancing at you or anyone near them. It was something like a secret tourist spot or a hidden gem.

“Really?” Taehyung said. He walked on your right, but a little ahead. You wanted to say it was because he was leading the way, but that presumed he knew where he was going. “This street’s pretty cool. Hidden away from the centre, though, so you don’t really know about it until you come yourself.”

You removed your eyes from an old bookstore with a chalkboard sign outside. “You must do a lot of exploring, huh?”

“Whatever gets me out of the house.” He stopped walking abruptly. When you stopped to ask what was wrong, you saw a mischievous smile form on his face. “I just had a brilliant idea.”

“Why am I kind of doubtful?”

Despite the many, many questions you asked, Taehyung didn’t answer any of them. He could try and be mysterious if he wanted, but you wouldn’t buy it, was what you said to him. Instead, you waited outside while he went into a convenience store for a few minutes. You shouldn’t have been so surprised when he emerged with a plastic bag in hand, full of bottles of spray paint. You opened your mouth to ask what he was planning, but he just tugged on your arm and made you follow him around the corner.

The street you stopped at had to be somewhat of a visual arts scene, because you recalled passing arts and crafts places and small galleries, and the wall that stood in front of you now was a graffiti wall.

“This is so cool,” you said in awe, all thoughts of skepticism at Taehyung’s actions gone. Your gaze roamed over the various artwork and writing, painted on by different kinds of paint and people and minds. It was like an anonymous outlet for creativity and self expression, something like in the olden days when things like freedom of expression was outlawed, so people had to get creative around it.

“I love all kinds of art,” Taehyung said, dropping his backpack and crouching near the ground. “But graffiti has become more interesting recently. Here.”

You looked to see that he was holding out a can of spray paint for you. “This is vandalizing.”

He half scoffed, half laughed. “This is an artistic statement.”

“They’re not mutually exclusive, Taehyung.”

“Relax, Y/N.” He placed the can in your hand himself after he decided that you wouldn’t take it, then took another out of the bag for himself. “I’ve done this billions of times. You won’t get caught.”

Despite yourself, there was an urge in you to just do it, get your hands a little messy. That was why you liked to bake after all, wasn’t it? That was why you chose art class. You could make a mess and make something good out of it. You could control something instead of being controlled. But turning back to the wall of art and messages and stories, you hesitated. “I can’t paint like this,” you tried lamely.

Taehyung shot you a look. “I saw your sketch today. It was far from shitty.” After a minute of waiting, he sighed. “Fine, I’ll go first.”

The way he walked up the an empty section of the wall with confidence, how he shook the paint can and effortlessly began to draw strokes in red paint told you that he wasn’t lying when he said he’d done this a lot. 

When he finished, he stepped back to where you stood, briefly appraising his work before saying, “Your turn. Don’t think too much. Just whatever’s on your mind, let it out.”

So, you found yourself closing your eyes briefly, and releasing a breath before stepping forward. You pushed on the paint can’s nozzle and let your mind take over for your hand and for a few minutes, all that was heard was the faint car engines in the distance and the spraying noise of the paint. Finally, you let your arm drop to see what you’d made. It was a pair of blue wings like a butterfly’s.

Taehyung studied the wall for a moment before humming, “Interesting.”

“By interesting, you mean awful.”

He shot you a look. “By interesting, I mean interesting. You and Namjoon might like to have second meanings to your sentences, but I’m a simple guy.”

“Uh huh.” You watched him move back to the wall and start painting something else. It was funny how before you’d known him, you had him pegged for some kind of reckless skater boy with a rebellious streak. He was actually more of an artsy boy with a rebellious streak. “I guess it would be easier if everyone wasn’t always pretending to be something they’re not.”

“Was Min-hyuk pretending to be a super nice guy again?” He only glanced over his shoulder at you when he didn’t get an answer. Of course this topic would’ve inevitable come up although you’d also assumed Taehyung would avoid uncomfortable conversations whenever he could. “None of those guys are all what they show. It’s good that you hit one of them. You might accidentally activate some part in the brain that knocks some sense into them.”

You nodded at this, slightly amused. “If that was how neurobiology worked.”

“Let’s experiment. Hit me over the head really hard and tomorrow, let’s see if I pass my math test.”

You were holding back a laugh when your gaze fell on part of his drawing. “Is that your signature?”

“Oh, that... it’s kind of like my alias,” Taehyung said almost like it was embarrassing for him to say. This must have been the first time he’d told someone about his side hobby. “For when I’m out painting.”

“For when you’re out vandalizing,” you remarked.

He mocked the face you’d made earlier and said, “They’re not mutually exclusive, Y/N.”

You let out a scoff, but couldn’t hide your amusement. “What does it mean? The V?”

“It’s short for Vante.”

You hummed. “Interesting.”

“You mean interesting good or interesting bad?”

“I mean interesting,” you said, deepening your voice a little to mock him.

The side of his mouth curved into a grin. “Touche.”

Returning your attention to the wall, your eyes began to study the various drawings, fleetingly going back to another wall and another drawing. “You haven’t seen anything like the hwa yang yeong hwa we saw before, have you?”

“No,” Taehyung answered, then gave it another thought. “Not that I’ve been to a lot of graffiti places outside of this area. But from where I have looked around, it’s made me think that maybe this... Smeraldo person isn’t a regular graffiti artist.”

“As in, this was just a one time thing for them?”

“Maybe.”

“I guess that means it’s not just graffiti we should be looking at,” you speculated. “It’s definitely a start but could be any art form.”

“Or maybe the art is just a way to get it out there.”

You frowned. “Meaning what? Someone’s trying to say something? To send a message?”

He shrugged. “It’s possible, yeah.”

His attention refocused on the drawing he’d started, but your mind began to run through possible explanations. What if somehow someone was trying to say something? More importantly, what if someone was trying to say something to you?

The sun was beginning to lower by the time you reached Taehyung’s place. You didn’t even realize the two of you had been out for a while with his detour idea. 

You tilted your head up to observe the apartment building complex. Since you’d never been to this part of the city before, you couldn’t say much about it. But by the oldness and the obvious low maintenance of the building, you guessed that the rent was affordable. Taehyung, like you, wasn’t one of the richer kids of the Academy. You supposed that the talent that had gotten him in was art related, if not painting specifically.

“Is this where you live?” you asked to break the silence.

“Yup,” Taehyung said, popping the sound at the end. “Home sweet…” He trailed off a little as his faraway gaze crossed the building, instead turning back to you. “Do you live close by? I can walk with you.”

You made a dubious face. “Are you sure you want to walk there and then all the way back?”

“Hey, I may be lazy, but I’m not that lazy.”

“I don’t need protecting, if that’s what you were going to say.”

He scoffed. “Obviously not. You broke a guy’s fucking jaw!”

“It wasn’t actually broken,” you muttered before shaking your head. “Wouldn’t you rather go home? Your parents are probably waiting for you.”

“No one’s waiting for me.” Before you could say anything, he waved it away, his long hair hiding the expression on his face you were trying to read. “It’s fine. Forget it.”

But he didn’t make a move to walk towards the complex’s stairs that led up to the first floor. Even as you stood there for another minute and he just stood with you, you realized he wasn’t about to head home regardless of if you left now or stayed. And for a moment, you wondered if this was what he had meant that day weeks ago. No one’s waiting for me. It was a thought that had held a place in your mind for a long time too.

It’s better not to force information you don’t even need to know, a voice in the back of your head reminded. Finally, you said, “Are you hungry? I could go for some coffee, and the Brew’s not far from here.”

Taehyung turned to look at you. If he was grateful for the chance to avoid going home, he didn’t show it. “Will you give me a discount?”

“If you stop talking, I’ll pay for your entire order.”

The carefree smile that stretched across his face as he started dragging you towards the next street was enough for you to know that he was, in fact, at least a little grateful.

chapter vii // chapter ix (coming soon)

[fullsunskyy]

BTS Social Media Fic Rec Masterlist

I really love SMAU’s so I’ve created a masterlist of all the fics I’ve found. This was mostly so I could keep track of what I’ve read, what chapter I was on for ongoing fics, and ones I haven’t read yet but I felt like it might be helpful so here you go. (Here is the NCT and Stray Kids masterlist as well)

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of these fics, I just enjoyed them. Please go and support the authors!

Key:

Completed [ ✔ ] In progress [ 🌸 ] Discontinued [❌] Skyler’s Fav’s [ ❤️] 

(TWT)- Twitter (lol sorry for some of the titles, not all had titles so I did my best to give them one)

Updated: 11/6/19  All links should be working!

Apparently I hit the link limit (whoops). Links still seem to work on mobile BUT here is a google doc of the post which is also linked on my page! https://docs.google.com/document/d/15ZAn-jX4btrBVUQRSaUwyb4aeh923a5ntdfWtA8szlg/edit?usp=sharing

Fav Writers:

@firebettercallnct (Seriously read every word she’s ever written)

@njssi

@gukooky

@bloomsuga

@mackenziexosborne

@hxseok-honee

BTS x YN/ ?? x YN

Exposed by @lysjeon [✔]

The Lonely Hearts Club  by @cinnaminsvga [✔] 

In God We Thrust by @cinnaminsvga [✔] 

Alibi by @minyoongone  [✔] 

Before That by @asteriaguk [🌸] 

Locked Out of Heaven by @cinnaminsvga [🌸] 

Nameless (Interactive) by @firebettercallnct [🌸] 

Mystery Boy by @sunsetsjk [🌸] (Currently Reading-ch 10)

Online by @inclebtsmix [🌸] 

Fake Love by @hxneysuga [🌸][❌] 

Life: The Biggest Troll by @adorajoon [❌] 

OT7/OT8 (YN)

Spilled Milk by @adorajoon

Tag, You’re It by @hxseok-honee [🌸] 

Tropicana by dragunjk [✔]

Jin x YN 

Roses by @bloomsuga [ ✔ ]

Love Maze by @sighobii [✔]

Alibi by @minyoongone [✔]

Flower Girl by @mackenziexosborne [✔] 

Online by @inclebtsmix [✔] 

True by @bangtannguk-au [✔]

24/7 by @hxseok-honee [✔] 

Soulmate Tattoos by @inclebtsmix [✔] 

Let’s Get Married by @hangsangwithbts [🌸] 

Namjoon x YN

Anonymous by @bloomsuga [✔] 

Love Is by @hxseok-honee [✔] 

Fuck Feelings by @mackenziexosborne [✔]

Cuffed by @firebettercallnct [✔]

Baby by @dayinseoul [✔] 

Meaningless by @sighobii [✔] 

Idol AU by @joonsintro [✔?] 

300 Miles til Disaster Highway by @cinnaminsvga [🌸]

Live and Love by @lysjeon [🌸] 

Hoseok x YN 

Diss-Trackt Me by @njssi [✔] [ ❤️]

When Worlds Collide by @dayinseoul [✔]

Fool For Your Love by @hxseok-honee [✔]

Turn by @minyoongone (Previously black-nabi) [✔] (link to tag ‘social media au’ pg 15- no ML- scroll down to intros and part one)

One Time Thing by @bangtann-bangdamn [✔] 

Just Watch by @hxseok-honee​ [🌸]

Catfish by @mackenziexosborne [🌸] 

Metanoia by @minty-minmin [🌸] 

Starstruck by @hopeworldfan [🌸] 

Yoongi x YN 

Diss-Trackt Me by @njssi [✔] [ ❤️]

Shameless by @njssi  [✔] [ ❤️]

Forever, We are Young by @bloomsuga [✔]

Sweet Like Candy by @lysjeon [✔]

Fuck Feelings by @mackenziexosborne [✔]

No Autographs by @mackenziexosborne [✔]

When Worlds Collide by @dayinseoul [✔]

I Found by @hxseok-honee [✔] 

Distant Love by @hxseok-honee [✔]

Shut Up by @tae-hyungsoo [✔]

Daddy Diaries by @bts-reveries [✔] 

Next Door by @inclebtsmix [✔]

Epiphany by @hxneysuga [✔]

Unlikely Alliance by @bts-celestials [✔] 

Spilled Milk by @adorajoon

Call This Love by @minyoongone  [✔] 

Now You See Me by @minsugapie [✔] 

The Real You by @minty-minmin [✔] 

Meaningless by @sighobii [✔] 

Home by @bangtannguk-au [✔] 

No Sleep by @kameliminx [✔] 

Under Construction by @luffles424 [✔] 

Lessons of Love by @honeyminyg [✔] 

Nice Guys Break Hearts by @kpopbopz [✔] 

Daddy Diaries by @bts-reveries [✔] 

Cypher by @bangtan-nugget [✔]

College AU by @joonsintro [✔?]

Just Watch by @hxseok-honee [🌸]

Tranquility by @peacefulmoonflower [🌸] 

Find My Iphone by @ediblesuga [🌸] 

Dancing Emotions by @honeyminyg [🌸] 

Serendipity by @halfmoonbts [🌸] 

Sleepless by @yojeongin [🌸] 

To Win Or To Lose by @firebettercallnct [❌]

Bloom Again by @minyoongone (Previously black-nabi) [❌] (link to tagged ‘bts college au’- ML doesn’t work)

Jimin x YN 

Undo It by @njssi [✔] [ ❤️]

Clearly Confused by @mackenziexosborne [✔]

Angelic by @frgt-me-not [✔]

Pining by @firebettercallnct [✔]

The Music of Fate by @softlyjiminie [✔]

I Hate You, I Love You by @hxseok-honee [✔]

Stardust by @bangtannguk-au [✔]

A Broken Heart is Hard to Fix by @whatspoppin-yoongi  [✔] 

Alibi by @minyoongone [✔]

Turn by @minyoongone (Previously black-nabi) [✔] (link to tag ‘social media au’ pg 15- no ML- scroll down to intros and part one)

Epiphany by @hxneysuga [✔]

Convenience Store Guy by @blue-mold-gi [✔] 

Is it Fake Love? By @minty-minmin [✔] 

Lust to Love by @bts-celestials [✔] 

Only Strangers by @hxneysuga [✔] 

Soulmate Tattoos by @inclebtsmix [✔] 

Serendipity by @gukooky (prev. lovelyyyoongi) [🌸] 

I Bet You Can’t by @btsocialau [🌸] 

Player by @halfmoonbts [🌸] 

Redland by @silverlightqueen [🌸] 

Daisies by @silverlightqueen [🌸] 

Quiet Hours by @srwbrycke [🌸] 

Supernatural AU by @joonsintro [🌸] 

Taehyung x YN 

Star Crossed by @gukooky (prev. lovelyyyoongi) [✔] [ ❤️]

Diss-Trackt Me by @njssi[✔] [ ❤️]

Undo It by @njssi [✔] [ ❤️]

Collide by @bloomsuga [✔]

Vienesse by @lysjeon [✔]

Happy Accidents by @mackenziexosborne [✔]

Mint by @kookoosbunnynose [✔] 

Limerence by @gukooky (prev. lovelyyyoongi) [✔] 

Love Maze by @sighobii [✔]

Under a Shadow by @firebettercallnct [✔]

Brighter Than Heaven, Darker Than Hell by @hxseok-honee [✔]

I’ll See Your True Colors by @inclebtsmix [✔]

Jump Cut  (1) by @minyoongone (Previously black-nabi) (2nd link is too OG posting, scroll to bottom and read up) [✔]

Epiphany by @hxneysuga [✔]

Online by @inclebtsmix [✔]

Fake Love by @nakajeno [✔] 

Compass by @yojeongin [✔] 

Exchange by dragunjk [✔]

Compass by @yojeongin [✔] 

Trust Issues by @taehyungieaa [✔] 

Heir by @bangtannguk-au [✔] 

All I Want by @ddaengyoongs [✔] (No ML- linked to tag)

Reply Back To Me by @diorjeons (prev. tokyojeons) [✔] (Linked to ML but wont open in separate blog tab but opens on dash)

Cafe Terrace at Night by @srwbrycke [✔] 

College Dad AU by @joonsintro [🌸?] 

The Duff by @softlyjiminie [🌸] 

Rumor Has It by @bangtann-bangdamn [🌸] 

Fire Escape Felonies by @ahgastae [🌸] 

Talk Slow by @njssi [🌸] 

Switched by @minty-minmin [🌸] 

Always on My Mind by @justapotatonow [🌸] 

Heir by @bangtan-nugget [🌸] 

Reverie by @frgt-me-not [🌸]

Tongue Tied by @hxseok-honee [🌸]

Jungkook x YN 

Kiss Marry Kill by @firebettercallnct [✔] [ ❤️❤️]

Roomies by @firebettercallnct [✔] [ ❤️]

Stay and Cook by @firebettercallnct [✔] [ ❤️]

Press Start by @gukooky (prev. lovelyyyoongi) [✔]  [ ❤️]

Undo It by @njssi [✔] [ ❤️]

Mark My Words by @bangtann-bangdamn [✔]

Bloom by @bloomsuga [✔]

Incoming Text by @cinnaminsvga [✔] 

Til Death Do Us Part by @cinnaminsvga [✔]

Oh my god, they were roommates by @mackenziexosborne [✔] 

Happy Accidents by @mackenziexosborne [✔]

An Honest Lie by @dayinseoul [✔]

Star-Crossed Haters by @hxseok-honee [✔]

Marguerite by @frgt-me-not [✔]

Love Maze by @sighobii [✔]

Cuffed by @firebettercallnct [✔]

Social Media Au by @foreverpark (prev. lovewyself) [✔] 

Jump Cut  (1) by @minyoongone (Previously black-nabi) [✔] (2nd link is too OG posting, scroll to bottom and read up)

I’ll See Your True Colors by @inclebtsmix [✔]

Next Door by @inclebtsmix [✔]

Tattooed by @bangtan-nugget [✔] 

Crossroads by @lunapjm [✔]

Flowerbomb by @goshguk [✔]

Feeble by @jkslug [✔]

Ice Queen by @kookmejeon [✔]

Let’s Get It by @diorjeons (prev. Tokyojeons & jjkspout) [✔] (Linked to ML but wont open in separate blog tab but opens on dash or mobile)

Highschool AU by @joonsintro [✔] 

Fake Love by @nakajeno [✔] 

Game Over-Restart? By @minty-minmin [✔] 

Compass by @yojeongin [✔] 

Bestfriend!Kook au by @lokojk [✔]

Compass by @yojeongin [✔] 

Messy Love by @hxseok-honee [✔] 

Trust Issues by @taehyungieaa [✔] 

Only Strangers by @hxneysuga [✔] 

Just Another Boy by @srwbrycke [✔] 

I Hate That I’m In Love With You by @prkchimins [🌸]

Magic Shop by @seokinkjin [🌸]

Taste of Lies by @firebettercallnct [🌸] [ ❤️]

Breathe by @bloomsuga [🌸] 

Ardent by @gukooky (prev. lovelyyyoongi) [🌸]

Euphoric by @httpsolros [🌸] (Linked to ch 1, no ML)

Two Can Play This Game by @lofihope [🌸] 

Dancing Emotions by @honeyminyg [🌸] 

You Could Call it Love by @gukooky (prev. lovelyyyoongi) [🌸]

Bad Time For A Good Time by @urlocalkpoptrash [🌸] (linked to ch 1, no masterlist for fic)

~Ships~

Yoonmin

Just Focus On Me by @thisfoolishdestiny [✔] 

Denouement by @thisfoolishdestiny [✔] 

Yoonmin Rapper/idol Social Media au by @vicetaes [✔] 

Yoonmin Souncloud Rapper/idol Social Media au by @vicetaes [✔] 

Bad Love by @luneguk [✔] 

Fanboy by @luneguk [✔] 

Tinder AU by @mintysugasweet [✔]  

Next In Line by @goldenclosetkook [✔] 

Orchestra AU by @meinkleinerangel [🌸] 

Yoonmin Idol/Dancer AU by @btssocialaus [🌸] 

No Strings Attached by @pasteljooonie [🌸] (Search ‘NSAPJ’ or ‘Social Media AU’ on authors tumblr and scroll to bottom-no ML.)

Keep Me Company by @goldenclosetkook [🌸?]  

Jikook

Focus (On Me!) by @kookiesangels [✔] [ ❤️]

(TWT) FBI AU by tiniemnie [✔] [ ❤️]

Hickeys At 3AM by @jiminsrighthand [✔] 

Bunnies are Cute by @busanaus [✔]

Happy Accidents by @goldenclosetkook [✔] 

Over My Head by @youneedtohajima [✔]

Fake Boyfriend AU by @youneedtohajima [✔]

Criminal AU by @jiminspineapples [✔]

You and I ☕️ by @littlemochi13 [✔]

Protego by @jeonslilmonster [✔]

Soulmate AU by @jeonslilmonster [✔]

My Dream Guy by @little-star-in-the-universe [✔] 

Weed Make a Good Couple by @busanaus [✔] 

Rose AU by @jeonslilmonster [✔] 

Neighbors AU by @jeonslilmonster [✔] 

Dream AU by @jeonslilmonster [✔] 

Studio Ghibli AU by @busanaus [✔] 

Secret Admirer AU by @busanaus [✔] 

Calico AU by @jeonslilmonster [✔] 

Idol AU by @busanaus [✔] 

(TWT) Writer AU bu tiniemnie [✔]

(TWT) Idol AU by tiniemnie [✔] 

(TWT) Fanboy AU by minggvk [✔] 

(TWT) Magic Shop by youneedtohajima/tinyfude [✔]

(TWT) Pin Against a Wall AU by youneedtohajima/tinyfude [✔] 

Catfish by @busanaus [✔] 

The Lily and The Eagle by @wingswillholdmeup [✔]

Waste It On Me by @kpopbopz [🌸] 

The Nonsense of Destiny by @littlemochi13 [🌸] 

Packages And Palettes 🎀by @kookiesangels [🌸]  (No ML-linked to tag, scroll down tag list for ch 1)

Taekook

17 by @whippedcris [✔] 

Sugar… Daddy? by @whatspoppin-yoongi  [✔] 

Sugar Coated Comfort by @miniyoonssi [✔]  (Search ‘taekook au’ on author page and scroll down. ML doesn’t work atm)  

Taekook/Yoonmin/Namjin AU by @brightlytae [✔] 

Compass by @yojeongin [✔] 

Just a Prank by @whippedcris [🌸] 

Vmin

Pla(n)tonic Soulmates by @whatspoppin-yoongi  [✔] 

Only Fools Fall by @kpopbopz [✔] 

Vminkook

Taegi

Through The Screen by @goldenclosetkook [🌸]

Sparkles by @goldenclosetkook [🌸?] 

Yoonkook

Play With Me Softly by @goldenclosetkook [✔] 

Mozzafiato;breathtaking by @jeonslilmonster  [✔] 

Sope

From Broken Endings by @goldenclosetkook [✔] 

Black Hole Churning by @youneedtohajima [✔] 

Namjin 

Namkook

I See You Everyday, I Think About You Every Night by @goldenclosetkook [✔] 

Poly

Right Thru Me by @hxseok-honee [✔] 

[tipsydipsydo]

『© tipsydipsydo』

All listed and linked work (that includes my writings, my fake texts and my moodboards) in here is my intellectual property and belongs only to my blog tipsydipsydo.tumblr.com!

Do not repost, plagiarize, translate or use any of my work in general!

That includes reposting my content on other social media platforms too, even when you link me as the original author.

Please respect that. I’ll fight any illegal use of my work!

Thank you.

「Information: Only the unique combination of pictures, the colour schemata and editing of the moodboards is my intellectual work! I don’t own the pictures themselves and all credits are going to the rightful owners!」

➸ Blog Navigation

A post where you'll find all my other themed Masterlists of my writings, my personal sideblog, my fic-recs blogs and so much more!

➸ My Networks

This is a list of all the networks where I got accepted as a writer in their community. Please check them out! 

➙ Information!

All the showed (anonymized) persons on my Moodboards should only symbolizes specific scenes, situations, outfits, jewelry or cosmetics! Nothing of this should make you feel excluded when you have a different skin color, hair color/structure, body shape or gender!

My scenarios and fics should be open for everyone to read, that’s why I try my best to write gender neutral and male scenarios/fanfics as well!

(Some scenarios or fics could still be personalized for specific groups of people or communities where I think they deserve some more attention and love! For example because there is a lack of writings for them etc.)

What I want to say:

We all are the same equal in our own unique existence!💓

I love all of you guys!🤗💓

» Gender «

↬ Female: ♔ [♔-Reader]

↬ Male: ♚  [♚-Reader]

↬ Gender neutral: ♕  [♕-Reader]

» Genre Key «

↬ Fluff: 🌸 

↬ Angst: 🌧 

↬ Hurt and Comfort: ☔

↬ Serious Themes: ⚠️🚫                                                                                

 (For example sexual assault, (mental) illnesses, traumatic experiences, rascism, antisemitism, islamophobia, homophobia, transphobia etc.) 

➙ We can’t take those things easy and I’ll not accept that someone “joke” about it!                                                                                                 

↬ Comedy/Crack: 🌞 

↬ Soft Smut [sweet vanilla~]: 💋 

↬ Hard Smut [kinky stuff~]: 😈 

   ┃ ➙ [💋😈]: kinky smut with feelings ;)             

[Information]

I made a list where I explain what kind of sexual content I’d write, how I interpret different kinks (especially how the Dom-/Sub-Dynamic in my fics work) and with what kind of Smut I’m not comfortable.

 ┃➙ My sexual content Rules!                      

» Other useful symbols «

↬ Scenarios: 💭

↬ “Connected to” (connected to an other scenario/fic/series): 🖇 

 ► Kink-Scenario 😈💋  [♔- Reader] 

[What kind of dirty secret(s) could the boys have?]

 ► Halloween Costume-Scenario  🌸💋😈 [♔- Reader]

[You’re wearing a scandalous Halloween Costume for a Halloweenparty...]

 ► Their favourite Make out-/Sex-Songs: Hyung Line Maknae Line  💋😈   [♔- Reader] 

[Which songs would bring the boys right into the mood?] 

 ► Honeymoon-Destinations: Hyung Line Maknae Line 🌸 [♔- Reader]

[What cities/countries would they choose for their honeymoon-trip?] 

 ► When the boys have a crush on you!

     ▸  Their feelings for you! 🌸  

        ▪ here [♕- Reader]

     ▸  Their dirty thoughts about you! 💋😈 

        ▪ About him  [♚- Reader]

        ▪ About her   [♔- Reader]

► Easter Special 🌸💋😈

[You’re wearing a sexy bunny outfit for them on Easter Sunday!]

    ▪  Easter with her! [♔- Reader]

    ▪  Easter with him!  [♚- Reader]

» Series Key «

↬ Finished: 💯

↬ Ongoing: 💬

↬ Long Term Project: 📅

↬ Paused: ⁉️

↬ Uncompleted: 🗑

(the last one will hopefully never happen...)

 ▲ ▼ ▲▼▲

► Naughty Days ‘til Christmas 💋😈 [♔|♚|♕-Reader]

This is a spicy Advent Calendar for Christmas: The Boys bought an Erotic Advent-Calendar and every day they unpack another sexy Accessory with the Reader. Of course they try all the products! 💬

(24 Smut-Drabbles with female/male/gender neutral Readers) 

► BTS Dog Hybrid-Series   🌸🌧💋😈  mostly [♔-Reader] BUT [♚/♕-Reader] possible!

Seven different stories about the boys in a world where humans and hybrids exists, an unique ethnicity of humans they’re able to shift their shape into a dog.    ⁉️| 📅

► BTS “We’re all the same equal!”- Series 🌸💋🌧⚠️🚫 [♔|♚|♕-Reader]

 We all deserve the same love, no matter if we’re are chubby, thin, tall, short, have white or colored skin, are a female, male or an other gender. It simply doesn���t matter. And the boys would still love us. And they would teach us to love ourselves.  ⁉️| 📅

 ► Disobedience [Hoseok x Reader x Namjoon] 😈 [♔- Reader]

Summary: You are sexually frustrated, annoyed and bored, which is why you started to mastubate without the permission of you boyfriends, Namjoon and Hoseok. Even if they promised to take care of your needs tonight. But you don’t feel like waiting anymore. But you also didn’t expect that Hobi will catch you with your pastel blue dildo deep into your pussy...  

► l’innocence indécente [Jimin x Reader x Jungkook] 💋 [♔- Reader] 

Synopsis: Jungkook and Jimin want to try something new with you... and you have to admit that you like it. A lot... 

► Prey  [Jimin x Reader x Taehyung] 😈💋 [♔- Reader]

Synopsis:

► Birthday Princess [Yoongi x Reader x Taehyung feat. Jungkook] 😈 [♔- Reader] 

Synopsis: You have Birthday today and your two boyfriends make sure that you will be sexually pleased to the ultimate maximum...

► Birthday Gift [Seokjin x Reader x Jimin] 😈 [♔- Reader]

Synopsis: Your Boyfriend Jimin bought you something very specific as your birthday present. You should use it as a preparation tool before you’ll get the real birthday gift tonight... 

 ► Halloween Special 💋😈  [♔- Reader]

 ► Easter Special 🌸💋😈

     ▪  Easter with her!  [♔- Reader]

     ▪  Easter with him!  [♚- Reader]

► My Fake-Texts Masterlist  [Semi-active/inactive] [♔- Reader]

Note: At the beginning of my blog I was more focused on making fake texts (simply it was easier and more comfortable for me back then because I was a bit insecure about my language struggles) but now it’s not my main thing anymore. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to make fake texts in general anymore but right now I like the “real” writing much more! So I don’t know when I’ll make new fake texts. 

► Improvisation 🌸💋😈 [♚-Reader]

Summary: This wasn't planned. Well, the whole world didn't planned to deal with a damn pandemic in 2020! If everything would have gone "normally", you would be in Seoul with Jin right in this moment and just enjoy that you're finally able to be close to Jin again. But now you two are stucked at home, Jin in his dorm in Seoul and you in your apartement in your town, far away from him. So you have to improvise for now on, how you want to deal with longing emotions and urging sexual desires... 

► Strawberry Kiss  🌸💋 [♕-Reader]

Summary: It's Friday Afternoon and when Jin comes home from work, the freshly baked strawberry cake smells deliciously. But he decided that a taste of you is even sweeter, especially when you're not wearing any underwear underneath your thin summer dress...

► Birthday Gift [Seokjin x Reader x Jimin] 😈 [♔- Reader]

►  Home  🌸🌧  [♕-Reader]

Summary: You finally managed to spend your two semesters abroad studying in Korea! However, after some unfortunate circumstances, you want nothing more than finally be able to fly home again. But your Roommate Namjoon has some ideas to make your year abroad still wonderful...  

► Precious  🌸💋 [♔- Reader]

Summary: Today is your birthday and because your last few weeks have been terribly stressful, you want nothing more than to be able to sleep in in your day off. However, Namjoon has to go to practice all day long, that’s why he has found a very gentle method of waking you up to unpack your presents together...   

► Disobedience ft. Hoseok 😈 [♔- Reader]

► Business Trip 💋😈 [♔- Reader] 

Summary: It's a stressful life to be the CEO of a big and international known company. Always hopping onto the next flight to a new investor or business partner, all around the globus. But sometimes he can't fix his little problem alone, so you need to help him out with some naughty stuff through these rough times of his job~   ► Jar of Kinks 💋😈 [♔- Reader] 

This Two-Shot is based on my own Jars of Kinks. 

I identify myself as a Switch. That's the reason why I decided to write a Two-Shot to my "Jar of Kinks". So I'd be able to write both Dynamics, with Dom! Yoongi and Sub! Yoongi as well. In this Index you'll find the links to the Oneshots, combinded with their summary and their individual warnings. 

► Touched 💋😈 [♔- Reader]

Summary: This week was just so awful and shitty, every muscle in your body hurts and you're absolutely exhausted from this horror week. But Yoongi has an Idea to relax you and make you feel so loved in a way, that couldn't make thousands of compliments.

►  Netflix and Chill  🌸🌞 [♕-Reader]

Summary: Hoseok and you are best friends, especially because you two share an unique passion for which you get sometimes quizzycally looks from others. Like every friday night you meet up to watch some series on Netflix together and massage and fondle the hair of each other. All the same, all innocent as ever. Until it comes to an certain situation and you realize the true meaning behind “Netflix and Chill” faster than you expected.   

► Disobedience ft. Namjoon 😈 [♔- Reader]  

► Little Swan  😈 [♔- Reader]

Sneak Peak: Laying open, completely helpless and so vulnerable in front of him. Presented like a meal on a silver tablet. His meal, his prey. Your wolf is starving, licking his lips with an animalistic and devilish smile at the sight of your parted pussy lips. Revealing his most desired things, this swollen and sensitive clit and this pretty tiny pussyhole. Clenching around nothing, literally begging to get filled with his fat cock and stuffed up with his cum until it’s leaking out of his little sweet swan...

► Mustang v8 💋🌞 [♔- Reader]  

Summary:  You kinda have a thing for the sound of the engine of a Mustang. How bad that Hoseok’s new car is a Mustang and that your Boyfriend looks super hot while driving!

► Study Break  🌸💋 [♔- Reader]

Summary: College wants to kill you right now. Exam Phase and then you have to write a 20 page long scientific work! Jimin and you barely see each other, you gave yourself completely to your studies. Until some specific needs some attention again...   

 ► Poolside Kisses 🌸💋😈 [♔- Reader]

Summary: Jimin said, you should pack a swimsuit into your suitcase when you're going to visit him in Korea. You thought, you'll go bathing somewhere privately, maybe just with the boys or so... and not going to a pool party of one of Jimin's Idol friends where you'll not know anybody! Since then you hate yourself that you only brought your new bikini to Korea that reveals more of your bare skin that you're used to... 

► Mousse au Chocolat 💋 [♔- Reader]

Synopsis: You are Jimin’s favourite dessert...

► l’innocence indécente ft. Jungkook 💋 [♔- Reader]

► Birthday Gift [Seokjin x Reader x Jimin] 😈 [♔- Reader]

► Dirty little Secret  

Summary: Whenever you leave your apartement for work, you're carrying a dirty little secret to your workplace as well. To be more specific, you wear inconspicuous sex-toys underneath your business attire to keep your sex-craving libido under control. Nobody noticed something and everything went well... until now. Until your Boss and secret crush, Park Jimin, bursts into your office unannounced and hears something buzzing which definitely doesn't come from your phone. Even worse, he sees a certain remote-control laying on your desk that seems to be surprisingly familiar to him... 😈 [♔- Reader]

► The Definition of Art  🌸💋 [♚-Reader]

Summary: You’re under Taehyung’s total mercy. Tied up, bare and trembling you lay spread out in front of your boyfriend who loves to turn you into his personal piece of art... 

► Deflowered 🌸💋🌧  [♔-Reader]

Summary: You're getting married tomorrow and you want to say goodbye to your mare. There you met the stable boy Taehyung for the last time, who's your best friend and childhood crush at the same time. You will experience a stormy night full of love and passion and you'll give the biggest proof of love to him...

► The hands of a sinner 💋😈

(The Idea of this Fanfiction has two versions: for female and male readers!)

For her! [♔- Reader]

For him! [♚-Reader]

Summary: Since Jungkook got his hand tattoos, you’ve found out that they have a stronger effect on you than you would like it. You also have good reasons not to tell him that you are developing a kink for this tattoos. And these reasons getting confirmed... 

►  Goddess of the sun 💋 [♔- Reader]

Synopsis: Jungkook is the best servant for his Queen and Goddess 

► The walls 💋😈  [♔- Reader]

Synopsis: You don’t know why but today was the first Day you realized how buff and bulky Jungkook’s Biceps are. And the fact that they look delicious when they’re tensed up…

► l’innocence indécente ft. Jimin 💋 [♔- Reader]

► Der Geliebte  🌸 💋 [♔- Reader]

Summary: You and Jungkook met right at the first day you opened your own atelier in Seoul after you had to leave your old home behind you. You love paint canvas with landscape motives, other people just roll with their eyes when they hear that you choose such usual, almost boring things to paint. Not so Jungkook, he seems to be different than most of visitors. It’s almost like he can read your feelings through your paintings... 

 ► The laundry hamper  🌸 🌞 💋 😈 [♔- Reader] Summary: Jungkook has a crush on you since you moved together for college but the poor boy is way too shy to confess his feelings to you... rather he would search through your laundry hamper to get a shirt which smells after your very personal scent and tries to calm his racing heart... and other nerves. He didn’t thought to get catched by the person who already stole his whole heart in the most embarrassing situation...

This is probably the most important information on this blog 💌  

Don't be shy around me!  

You can feel absolutely free to talk to me, to stuff my inbox (even when you just want to ramble or to fangirl etc.) and my PMs are always open too! So don't hesitate to get in contact with me, you're not awkward or weird, okay?💕💕  

I'm pretty curious about you guys too and Im always up to become mutuals or even friends, okay? 🤗  

Love you, Tipsy 💜

 [Dates]

Published: 27th December 2019

Last Update: 10th August 2021

[bangtanxm]

Bookclub; February Highlight

February is the month of love and as we all know, love doesn’t happen over night. Whether it is angst, sexual tension or pining we all love to be on the edge of our seat hoping and begging that they would finally get together. So, naturally this month theme was “Slow Burn” and these are our our monthly fanfic recommendations from our bangtanxm; bookclub!

In the following you find a list of fics we recommend and reviewed this month. Please support these amazing authors! With every monthly recommendation, there is also a drabble game that everyone can participate in. You’ll find the masterlist at the end of the reviews. Happy Reading!

BOOKCLUB; recommendations

TIDES WILL BRING ME BACK TO YOU by @sujigguk​ [aka @ftyoonmin​]

— Summary; Fate is a funny thing. Humble fisherman, Yoongi, learns this when one evening, it's not a fish that sits at the end of his hook, but a bottle, containing a note claiming that a creature of the sea by the name of Jeongguk has been left stranded on land and is soon to draw his last breath.

bookclub; review

“This story immediately pulls you in with the amazing story-telling. Lou has a way of writing so beautifully detailed that it makes you imagine the amazing scenes in your head vividly. On top of that, it is a really heart wrenching love story, mixed with a wonderful fantasy theme of siren Jungkook and his fishermen Yoongi.” [@softjeon​]

“Wow. So, Tides Will Bring Me Back to You has been on my to read list for quite a while. I regret my choices in not reading it until now. This fic was an absolute work of art. The singular amazing thing I want to point out is the attention to detail. So, we as readers expect fics to be good, especially AUs. Like we want some world building and detail so that we can visualize the setting and location and what is going on with the characters that are being put into this new world. This fic was able to do that but MORE. The attention to the setting detail was unbelievable. There was so much in terms of vivid descriptors and explanations that painted this super vivid and pretty image in my mind. I’m scared of the ocean to be honest, so I have never gone out on a ship beyond like, a lake. And have only ever seen the ocean from the safe confines of the beach. But because of the detail in this fic, I was able to visualize it so perfectly and vividly, it felt like I was really there.I really enjoyed Jungkook as well. Obviously he’s a gorgeous young man in real life, right? Which is why I liked this fic because it wasn’t this stunning perfect man from the waist up, you know? He had the scaly back, the webbed fingers, the sharp and kinda creepy teeth, etc. I think that this made it more “realistic”, as realistic as a mermaid fic can get of course, but like… I don’t know, it felt more real and added a layer of uniqueness to the fic that a lot of supernatural AUs tend to lack in fanfic terms. Also, the ending. Some might struggle with this because it was so ambiguous (no spoilers of course) but I really liked it. Though I’m sure the author had like a set “this is how it is” ending or explainer, I like that it’s this sort of grey area for readers to think on and figure out.” [anon]

“Omg, I really loved this fic. It's a bit longer than I normally read because work sort of keeps me away from reading more than writing haha but I really loved how Yoongi had this NEED to help a stranger he had no idea existed or not. Then to watch their love blossom that way and Yoongi protect Jungkook. It's also cute that Jungkook calls Yoongi 'My Yoongi' and Yoongi first thought it was a mispronunciation of his name. I do love mercreatures too, so that also drew me to this one. I loved the details and the tidbits of background we get from Yoongi and his love for the sea/sea creatures. Sorry, this is just all over the place.” [anon]

BABY BLUE by @chimknj​

— Summary; Jimin is blue. He’s loyal to his customers and confident in everything he does. Namjoon is white. He’s pristine and maintains a perfect balance in life. When the two come together, they create baby blue, a color of freshness and something new. It’s new for both of them, but not all new things are bad.

bookclub; review

“What an amazing story! Even though Minjoon is basically already "together", although Namjoon is just paying Jimin to be there, it is just heartbreaking to read about how Jimin tries to get to know the other more, trying to get him out of his shell and falling in love while he is doing it. All while Namjoon tries to stick to his rules making it so much harder for Jimin, himself and the reader....cause damn!!! I could have screamed the characters sometimes and it literally hurt my hurt so much each time Namjoon pushed Jimin away ;; I can't.... I wanna cry just thinking about it again.” [@softjeon​]

“...beautifully written plot, where you just want to punch Namjoon in the face until he finally reveals his true feelings.” [anon]

“I didn’t mean to consume over 70,000 words in one sitting. I honestly didn’t. Over a few days, over a week. Space it. But I knew I was lost at the end of chapter one, the same way Namjoon knew he was lost the second Jimin’s cute hands started unbuttoning his shirt after date night.Honestly. This fic had everything. I laughed a lot, I cried way more than I’d like to admit to, I had the urge to take a cold shower more than once, I wanted to take Joon by his perfectly ironed lapels and shake the ever-loving crap out of him. Honestly though, it felt like a full-length novel. I mean it was, by length, but also by content. The world that was created was beautifully devised and detailed, and everything from the various business names to the design of the apartments was so easy to visualize due to the richness of the descriptors. Personally, I appreciate that. It adds to the ‘movie playing in my head’ way that I like to read.The smut was unbelievably well written. It was sexy without feeling too unrealistically “porn film fantasy” if that makes sense. Like the progression felt natural and easy rather than being rushed or faked like some fics tend to do. It was clear the author did the required research in terms of D/s and wrote what felt very accurately.I loved the involvement of the other members, I think they all played really great, vital roles as side characters. And honestly, they were so rich in their own right that I would love spin offs about their own arrangements with their respective partners!The ending was absolutely sweet and perfect too. I spent the whole fic praying it’d end in a way that was satisfactory to my wrenching heart and I feel like it gave me every single thing I wanted and more.” [anon]

EVERYGREEN by @softjeon​ & @cassiavioletblue​

— Summary; Yoongi felt that something was wrong the moment he had stepped foot into the garden. He hated that this sense of foreboding could mean anything and he had seen enough to have a very vivid imagination of what could wait in the bushes for him. His grip was tight and ruthless but when he felt he weight of something heavier he startled. In front of him on the grass, bloody and shaking was a deer hybrid; a boy, obviously younger than himself and apparently in a lot of pain.

bookclub; review

“Whuff. There's hybrid fics. And then there's THIS hybrid fic. I know that hybrid fics are one of those things you either love em or hate em, I honestly couldn't find a thing to dislike about this fic even if I tried. Firstly Yoongi as the grumpy on the outside (but squishy on the inside) raccoon is perfection. Imagining his markings and those growls and grumbles -- it's so endearing. And then there's JK who, a deer? Oh come on, I'm soft. Imagining him with the broken little antler and those soft, cute markings V_V It's tooth rotting, I swear. But for all the fluff and sweetness, there's this layer of angst and hesitation that makes this feel like such a deep, melancholy slowburn. The will they - won't they, the pull of each and push back, the "I can't" and "I want" -- GUH. Really, it's just so sweet and perfect.” [@kimlinebiased​]

“I read Evergreen as it came out. It seemed like such a cute take on a trope that’s pretty common in our fandom, but one I’m less comfortable with, so I was really eager to see these authors’ take on it, since I knew I love their work already. The story opened up with action that sucked you in almost immediately, but it really balanced that with some slower, almost peaceful moments. I think that’s a really big draw of this story, really these authors overall, but this one in particular. They have a handle on the ebb and flow of the story. What I mean is, things happen and it’s exciting and oh god cliffhanger, but then things slow down and give the reader a second to breathe (but not too long, because then it would get boring). The balance between breathing space and action can be really hard to balance and I think these two do it really well.  For this particular story, I think my favorite character is actually Namjoon. Sure, he doesn’t have a huge part, but I think he’s super well written and quite in character to the canonical person. (All of them are in their own way, but he sticks out to me). He’s so supportive but not afraid to tell Yoongi the truth even if it’ll sting. Further, he isn’t perfect. He lets his heart get in the way of his head sometimes (like with Jimin) and it makes him really endearing and realistic in a refreshing way. I think that he’s one of those absolutely indispensable characters in this particular world. Like sometimes, it’s easy to switch members, have x play y’s part, y play b’s part, etcetera. But I think that Namjoon’s part was written so perfectly, it fits him like a glove and made it really enjoyable when he was on the page. The plot has some things that the reader can “call” so to speak – like you might read and know there’s gonna be trouble for JK, he’s gonna get tangled up in the mess in some way, but even thinking you know, it’s still done in a way that it doesn’t take away from the enjoyment and “oh no” factor when the big climax does finally get rolling. Just like you know pretty sure, it’ll end happy, I still found myself worried about ‘well what if it doesn’t’. And I think that’s a testament to the authors, really. They are able to take these fanfic tropes and make them feel fresh and new, so even if you feel like you might know what will happen, the way that they weave the story together makes those emotions still hit in a really palpable way.I’d also like to discuss the overall setting of the story. There’s only a few locations that the readers really get a feel for, but particularly the cabin. I think that the descriptions of the cabin and forest and general development of the backstory and setting was really well done. Things like hybrid or other non-human AU’s can be really tricky to keep interesting but still give the right amount of backstory and description so that they aren’t confusing. We as readers need to know the rules, but not have a history textbook, and I think this fic really accomplished that as well.Overall, I just really enjoyed the feeling and emotions that this fic caused. I think that it was able to really convey some important messages while still being woven into a sweet, unique love story. [anon]

THE JUSTITIA PUGNATORES by ShoshinLaurels [AO3]

— Summary; When stable boy Park Jimin's best friend, crowned Prince Kim Taehyung finds himself under threat in his own palace, his guards dropping like flies, the only option left is to call on the Justitia Pugnatores, the 'Justice Fighters.'Three men boasting incredible skill and legendary pasts come barrelling through the heart of the palace, shaking everything in their wake.As the dilemma of the princes impending chances of murder only escalates, Jimin finds himself wrapped up in a mess of secrets, heartache and suspiscion.If only Min Yoongi didn't complicate things. 

bookclub; review

“It's been a while since I read this, but I would happily read it in one sitting all over again. I'm a sucker for royal settings and I absolutely ADORED the dynamics of this one. It's just the right amount of angsty and fluffy, and keeps you hooked throughout.” [@sujigguk​]

“Damn these apples! I really loved this fic out of various of reasons, the relationship between the characters are amazingly written, the setting and overall plot is so well thought out and it just has the perfect mixture between angst, fluff and comedy… i mean, just the first chapter had me laughing so much.” @softjeon​

THE WAY GUCCI LOOKS ON YOU by @joonsrack​

— Summary; “Funny how even in this ridiculously absurd situation, life had made Taehyung a third-wheel. Or a sixth.If Bangtan Dry Cleaning was his fairy godmother, Jimin his little mouse, the jacket his magic dress and the club scene his ball, where the fuck was his prince charming?A knock on the door pulled him out of his thoughts.”

bookclub; review

“So, this fic is really is so cute. I started in on it just casually, but found myself entirely sucked in and couldn't put it down until I'd read all that was written on it. Taehyung specifically is such an interesting character - his thought processes and sass are just perfect. I adore Jimin as well. And then there's Jungkook, who is so -INSUFFERABLY ARROGANT- but not in a way that makes you dislike him. He's still so endearing and you WANT these guys to just get off their high horses and kiss or something, but you also kinda want Tae to pour water into his lap because he's such a rich boy. I love it so much. I can't wait for the next part.” [@kimlinebiased​]

“A story that could very well fit a movie! It’s everything you need on a sunday night! You laugh, you want to throw something at their rich faces and scream at the boys to just kiss already. A perfect Slow Burn!” [@softjeon​]

“The way that Gucci look on you (amazing) is such an adorable and absurd (in the best way) slow burn. It’s a wip now, and I honestly cannot wait until the author updates. The case of mistaken identity is such a good trope that honestly, I feel, isn’t done enough. Especially not in such a cute and fun way. Of all the ways for Tae to get outed as not who he said he was – this one was epic. Of course, it’s a slowburn, so you expect the endgame ship to you know, not be huge fans of one another, but the tension here is so palpable, it is awesome. Taehyung cannot stand that cocky little JK and JK’s arrogance is both hilarious and infuriating. But there’s very clearly something deeper to him, and I really like that the author is able to make that clear through hints and clues, rather than just outright saying it. It adds a depth to JK’s character that often gets missed in fics, especially because we know these guys so well, so to speak. Having those sort of subtle nuances really adds to the overall enjoyability of the fic. I think Jimin is such a great supporting character too. He’s the perfect mix of Jiminy Cricket and devil in your ear, so to speak, and his personality comes off as so honest to who he is canonically. It makes him so fun to read. (And the YoonMinSeok trio is helpful as well, what can I say, soft spot for poly even in side pairings). All in all, it’s just an absolutely stunning fic so far and I can’t wait for the author to continue it.” [anon]

UKIYO by Sharleena [AO3]

— Summary; A story of tender tides and unmoving hummingbirds.

bookclub; review

“I'm almost halfway into this story but I really have to rec it cause wow...if you like mafia and urban fantasy themes then this is THAT fic for you listen succbus jimin, mafia leader yoongi, a damn deeply laced mystery that I can't EVEN FREAKING FIGURE OUT I usually can connect a few dots in mystery stories sometimes bUT THIS STORY IS KILLING ME there is someone yoongi is looking for that's destroying his gang and he like DOESN'T FREAKING EXIST and I know once I reach the end I'll be like IT WAS RIGHT FREAKING THERE IN MY FACE lmao but seriously the authors' worldbuilding skills is freaking legendary and I'm always hoe for mixing different themes together and the mix of urban fantasy and mafia just ugh freaking beautiful. The Slow Burn is real in his fic, yoonmins' dynamics are annoying and frustrating as heck but can be really sweet sometimes because they're both very broken individuals and they're trying to find comfort in one another. The themes are obviously very dark so carefully read the tags and also author notes in the beginning so you know what to expect but seriously it's so damn worth it and I will be personally putting a long feedback directly on their Ao3 as well when I'm done because i know I'm going to have lots more to say. BUT SERIOUSLY THIS IS THE SHIIIITTTT SO FAR SO GOOD SO DAMN GOOD I FEEL FED EVERYTIME I READ IT GIVE IT A READ WHEN YOU CAN!!” [@flowerwrites06​]

FAKE SUGAR by minverse [AO3]

— Summary; "I guess," Jungkook pauses momentarily to inhale a deep, bracing breath, "I would just want you to come to my work events and laugh at my jokes and don't correct people if they imply that we're doing it.""Having sex, you mean," Jin clarifies gently, and Jungkook chokes on air. If his face was any redder, Jin would insist on taking him to the hospital. Jungkook clears his throat, obviously trying to play off the strangled, choked sound as a casual cough."Yes. Doing... sex."

bookclub; review

“I love a good concept for fic, and a face sugar dating  au sign me up!!! honestly this is one of my all-time favourite fics, cos its not only funny and entertaining but it has so much heart!!! like i just love the vibe of the fic, and i wish i could keep reading it forever. Plus the characters are so like-able and feel so human. Also jinkook holds a special place in my heart, and jk being all shy in the beginning and jins confidence is an unmatched pairing!!! EVERYONE JUST READ IT, ITS SO FUCKING GOOD, okay im done now sorry…" [@tinysweetscrown​]

“I read this a while ago, and also everything else by minverse... Everything they write is gold, the character construction, the dialogue, the relationship/chemistry, the humour, the plots...just everything. Fake Sugar kept me up at night with its brilliance and originality, i couldn't get enough of jin and jungkook's relationship, but also all the other members' interaction and storyline. It's expertly written and i sincerely think everyone should read it, if they have not already.” [anon]

“Aaaaaah i love this so much!!! I absolutely love the characterisation of jin!!! I find it very refreshing! In some ways it’s completely /jin/ yet in others it’s such a nee and fun way of describing him (the fact that hes a competition eater absolutely sends me its just. So! Jin!) i also love jungkook!!! Tiny gay babie kook having to impress ppl he doesnt want to impress and getting competitive over that dindjdjd once again i could genuienly see it happening! And oh boy oh boy am i excited to see how this story pans out! The little appearances by the rest of bangtan as well i love it! It all flows very naturally and none of the cameos feel forced or anything. AND JIMIN UDJDJDJD I LOVE HIM. the fact that hes just a chaotic brat having dumpster sex and causing trouble oh my god im still crying jsbsjsnjs.” [anon]

The Drabble-Game; MASTERLIST

— prompt; “Romantic attraction is literal: characters feel a pull like gravity to people they’re attracted to. The bigger the attraction, the harder the pull.”

Thank you to everyone who participated! Stay tuned for the next theme of the month to participate!

NUMINOUS written by @softjeon​ & @cassiavioletblue​

— Summary; “You’re fucking kidding me, are you?” He looked up at the ceiling and made an annoyed face. “You really want me to suffer do you? Stupid universe.”

— Join the Bookclub here! — official post — faq

[shadowofmytime]

>> some of my absolute favorites ! like and reblog if you save and enjoy ! happy reading and give some kudos to these amazing writers ! always feel free to send me some of your favorites ! ! <<

>> There is a bit so for your convenience they are in alphabetical order ! The ‘s’s are some of my all-time favorites ! ! <<

>> min yoongi x park jimin <<

All the seasons of your love - 5k+ [college au]

The movement in the library was still slow in the first week, so Yoongi could easily remember the few people who came by. That's why he pays so much attention to a certain dark-haired freshman who walks in on a Wednesday afternoon - or at least that's what he tells himself. He goes over to the front counter and asks Yoongi for directions to the Economy 101 session and, God, his voice is as sweet as his eye-smile.

Or how librarian Yoongi fell head over heels for cute freshman Park Jimin who, unfortunately, was very much straight - or so Yoongi thought.

Bon Voyage - 47.9+ [tourist! au]

Yoongi was meant to be taking the trip of a lifetime with his boyfriend. But now he's in Paris, alone and miserable. That is until he collides - quite literally - with one Park Jimin.

Boys who talk shit - 26k+ [college au]

When Yoongi enrolled in BTS (aka Boys who Talk Shit) Boarding School, he wasn't really expecting to be the only 'straight' (to be read sarcastically) guy in a room of seven geniuses (aka children aged five to ten, honestly). Plus four pet spiders. Yes, plural.

Chaotic episodes in A Place of Love and War, where Yoongi learns all about True Love via Park Jimin, Music and Marriage. Sort of. Brain bleach and earplugs are strongly recommended.

Conflicting arrangement - 162k+ [fake boyfriend au]

"Absolutely not," Yoongi deadpanned. "Namjoon-ah. I value you as a friend, and I think I'd even go as far as to say that you're my best friend, but absolutely fucking not."

"You owe me," Namjoon pleaded. "Come on, Yoongi, it's not a big deal."

"Your boyfriend's best friend's best friend needs a fake boyfriend to come out to his family this Chuseok, all the way in fucking Busan," Yoongi repeated drily without pause, making Namjoon wince. He flipped a page of his textbook, picking up his highlighter. "Not a big deal, Namjoon. Amazing."

Cotton Candy - 240k [high school rock band]

"He could get used to sitting next to Yoongi like this. To have him around. To have the band around. To smile and feel happy. To see Yoongi sitting in front of an instrument and having him play just for him.

'If this was my happy ending,' Jimin thinks, resisting the urge to lean his head on Yoongi's shoulder, 'if I wasn't who I am, I'd just let you have me whenever you want. You could have me anytime.'"

As spring turns into summer, school band Cotton Candy unexpectedly loses its singer and the members are forced to look for a new vocalist. Six boys find one in the form of the promiscuous pink-haired boy Park Jimin who makes a home in their hearts and finally finds a place he belongs

Daegu drift - 53k+ [motorcyclist / playboy au]

Jimin stops in Daegu for a big motor show and gets caught up with the locals. Specifically one Min Yoongi.

Sneak Peek:

Yoongi has his arms folded as he stares Jimin down.

“Are you going to join the rally, or not?”

Jimin takes his time answering because he likes the way Yoongi is looking at him. “Sure. I guess it could be fun. But you do realize none of you have a chance against a Bugatti, right?”

“It’s not the car that wins the race,” the other man says. “It’s the driver. You could have the fastest, best-equipped car in the goddamn universe, but if you’re a shit driver, it doesn’t make a difference.”

Goodbye from lonely - 65k+ [uncle yoongi!]

Park Jimin works two jobs that he loves and is going to college to get his teaching degree.

Min Yoongi is a personal assistant who hates his job and spits in his boss' coffee every day.

Kim Taehyung has been infatuated with his clueless co-worker for the better part of a year.

Jeon Jeongguk has a three-year-old daughter that he'd do anything for.

Somehow the tiny human brings them all together.

Or

Tae is in love with Kookie -> Kookie's daughter takes Jimin's ballet class -> Yoongi is Kookie's stepbrother -> Jimin and Yoongi meet because of Kookie's daughter.

In your eyes (it’s where I wanna be) - 5.5k [coffee shop! au]

Jimin pauses with his marker inches away from the cup, because — is he really going to do this? Isn’t it a bit old-fashioned to write something flirty on a coffee cup? But no matter what his churning gut says about the danger and what the hell are you doing do you want to die, this guy is — with no better way to put it — totally Jimin’s Type with a capital T.

(Or: Jimin accidentally starts a nickname war with the cute blonde who likes his coffee way too bitter.)

Inked flowers - 6.4k [tattoo artist / florist au]

Something stopped him. A sound of a piano. He looked around and saw a light coming from the window on the other side of the street. On the third floor was an open window. A light and the sorrowful sound of a piano flew out of the room. Jimin looked closer and saw a figure or at least a top of someone's head.

The melody was so sad and sorrowful that Jimin wanted to cry. He started thinking, what could possibly go inside that person’s head? What were they thinking? Jimin just hoped that they weren’t sad and alone.

(let me see you) get high then low - 4k+ [photographer/model au]

"The light-haired model is the kind that fascinates Yoongi, and at the same time, he prefers to steer away from. He's all smiles and flowers, drawing you in with his cuteness until he's not anymore. Suddenly, he’s something else entirely; he's that false calm, the ocean that looks smooth on the surface but will drag you down to its depths if you dare to touch it."

or

Min Yoongi works in a photography studio with some (very questionable) friends that can't get any work properly done without making a bit of a fuss.

Park Jimin is a model handcuffed against his will and bored. Also a little bit horny, maybe.

Math Tutor - 11.7k [bad boy! yoongi]

Min Yoongi is the school's resident Bad Boy™. He's covered in tattoos, is pierced, curses like a sailor, smokes like crazy, doesn't give a shit about anything, possesses a hot temper that has people steering clear of him, and is desperately in love with Park Jimin, the adorable math nerd. When Jimin is tasked with tutoring Yoongi in math, who is in danger of failing the class and being held back a year, both boys are hesitant. Yoongi because he can't think straight around the boy with startling red hair, and Jimin because Yoongi is scary as hell and looks like he can easily kill someone. Gradually, though, the two grow closer, and Jimin finds that Yoongi is nothing like how he'd imagined.

Maybe I hate you can be our always - 35.9k [enemies to lovers]

When Yoongi thinks about it, really gives it genuine thought, it's possible that Park Jimin isn't the worst person in the world.

//

(Or, Yoongi and Jimin get off on the wrong foot.)

Ode to yoonmin - 4k+ [texting]

yoongi and jimin are in very much in love but they're the only ones who don't know it

OR

chat fic with a bunch of bad jokes and memes ¯\_(ツ)_/

Out of my system - 101.6k+ [one night stand]

Yoongi likes one night stands and he understands how they work. What he doesn’t understand, however, is how he ended up in bed with a probably-not-legal kid crying in his arms about his broken heart, because he’s pretty sure (and correct him if he’s wrong) that a babysitting job was not what he was looking for when he went to the opening of his friend’s new club

Standing on the brink of 376 - 42.9k+ [street racing]

When Taehyung woke him up at three AM to go to a street race—an illegal one, no less—claiming it would help his social anxiety, Jimin never actually expected it to do much for him, except maybe make him cry hysterically. He found that he really wasn't too far off-kilter with that assumption, but it was only after he'd suffered through countless bouts of insecurity that he realized, hidden behind each stuttered breath, every inevitable tear, every spark of unavoidable fear, and even the customary cloud of cigarette smoke itself, lay a tremendous amount of affection for a certain platinum haired street racer that he can't even begin to justify. But when his opinion of fact, fate, and even life itself continues to blur with each push of the gas pedal, he thinks he just might be able to forgive himself for falling in love with a criminal, when the nonsensical moonshine of the present mutes the anxiety that had been a constant within his heart up until this November.

Strawberry lube - 82.7k+ [college au]

Yoongi remembers little to nothing of their crazy drunken night out. But of two things he's absolutely sure, one: he's not gay, two: he just slept with Park Jimin

The Paradiso Lounge - 192k+ [photographer/stripper au]

“Do I have to pay you for that service?”

This isn’t a dream (let me love you) - 26k+ [highschool au]

As captain of his high school’s basketball team, Min Yoongi dedicated all of his attention to his team and their games. His focus on the game never waned, not once for anything or anyone.

Well, until head cheerleader Park Jimin flashed his abs during a solo cheer and made him fuck up his shot

Trying to Behave (but you know we never learned how) - 329k+ [non-idol! au]

It's been years since Yoongi's last seen him and the younger boy is a shell of his former self in a way that makes his heart twist in his chest. And yet, after all this time and countless days of convincing himself to let him go, he's still unconditionally, head over heels in love with Park Jimin.

(Jimin and Yoongi grow up together.)

Valentino Summers - 657k+ [‘80s gangsters]

Whether or not Jimin was smuggling drugs really didn’t matter. He was hustling, and these days that was all there was to it.

Hustle and survive or struggle and die.

Y/N masterlist  << check it out !! xoxo

[krreader]

Can I request Jhope fic where reader is Namjoom's younger sister and he kinda has a crush on her? Like fluffiest fluff ever? :3

title: specialpairing: jung hoseok x reader ; kim namjoon x sister!readerfandom: btswarnings: /genre: fluff

summary: you wanted to meet your brother in the dorms for lunch, but when he suddenly gets a call from bang PD and has to leave, he asks hoseok if he could spend some time with you instead.

a/n: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS A HOBI REQUEST! MY PRECIOUS BABY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OMG. ok sorry, I had to get that out lol. hope you like it bb (added hobi to my fandoms page!)

ask box | masterlist | fandoms | faq | multifandom reader blog

Namjoondidn’t bring you around often, mainly because he knew that you were apretty girl and that he was dealing with six boys in their twentieswho haven’t been on a date in ages. He was the protective big brotherthat, even though he loved his band mates with all his heart, wouldrather not have you around them. Just because, in his mind, no onewas good enough for you. Not even them.

Butsince his schedule often prevented him from meeting you anywhere fordinner or even just for coffee, inviting you to the dorms was usually theonly option.

Asit was today.

Butthen Bang PD had suddenly called and asked him to come over, becausehe needed to discuss “something important” with Namjoon. And since youdidn’t pick up your phone, he was assuming that you were already onyour way here.

“Hobi-hyung?”Namjoon knocked on his and Jimin’s door, walking in a moment laterand finding Hobi walking out of his closet with a smile, “I need afavor.”

“Sure!What do you need?”

“Mysister should be here any minute, but I need to go over to Bang for..I don’t know, a meeting, apparently. Can you keep an eye on her,please?”

Outof all the members, he trusted Hobi the most when it came down toyou. It’s not that he thought the others would treat you badly, hejust knew that guys like Taehyung would immediately hit on you andthat wasn’t something that he wanted. But Hoseok.. now he alwaysbehaved like a complete gentleman around you and barely even lookedat you. Namjoon thought that was out of respect for you and him.

That the real reason for all of it was because Hobi had a huge crush onyou and didn’t really know how to act around you, he was obliviousto.

“Ofcourse,” he gulped, before he put on a smile again, “I’ll takecare of her.”

“Thankyou! I owe you one,” and with that, Namjoon closed the door againand left for his meeting.

Hoseoksat down on the edge of his bed, his heartbeat already acceleratingat the thought of seeing you again and, even more, being alone with you.

Itwas weird.. out of all the girls in the world, he never thought he’dfall for Namjoon’s little sister. But there was just something aboutyou. Maybe it was your smile, or the way you always laughed atwhatever he did or said. Maybe it was your eyes, that often studiedhim in quiet moments and could see right through his facade. Maybe itwas your compassion and the way you always offered to listen to hisworries, because you ‘felt like he needed someone to be himselfwith’.

Whateverit was, he knew that he liked you a lot and that he couldn’t tellanyone, because if Namjoon found out, he’d be furious. And both forBangtans’ and his own sake, he decided to keep it to himself, not wantingto cause any trouble.

But how was he supposed to suppress his feelings, when he would spend the day with you when no one else was around? How was he supposed to calm himself down, when your perfume was driving him insane? And how was he supposed to just sit next to you and act like you were just like everyone else, when in reality, you were so much more to him than that.

Nevertheless,he walked into the bathroom to shower quickly, before sitting down onthe couch in the living room and turning on the TV while waiting for you. However, it didn’t take long before thedoorbell rang and you greeted him with a smile when he openedthe door that quickly faded and was replaced by a surprisedexpression. 

You had expected your brother, not your crush.

“Oh!Hobi!”

“Hey(Y/N),” he smiled brightly, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, before opening the door a little widerand letting you inside, “Bang PD called Namjoon earlier about ameeting. I’m sure he’ll be back soon, though.”

“Oh,alright,” you laughed shyly and looked around, “Are you.. alone?”

“Yes.The maknae’s are at dance practice, Jin is grocery shopping andYoongi is.. actually, Yoongi is probably in his studio.”

“Ofcourse,” you took off your shoes and walked with him into theliving room.

“Doyou.. uh.. want something to drink?”

“Thankyou,” you nodded and sat down on the couch, while he made his wayinto the kitchen.

Oh,this was really bad. Hobi had always been special for you. Hispersonality and his smile having weaved their way into your heart andyour crush was slowly but surely developing into something more.You’ve known him for a while now and each time you and him talked,you noticed yet another thing you liked about him.

Whenothers were around, you could push your feelings aside and couldpretend that you were just friends, when in reality, your feelingsfor Hoseok were far more than that.

Being alone with him felt like a date.. something that you yearned for, but would never have the guts to ask. Not just because you thought your feelings were one sided, but also because of your brother.

So youtook a deep breath and tried to calm down, smiling happily at himwhen he sat down next to you and handed you your glass.

“Thankyou so much.”

“So..,”he began, squirming on his spot on the couch, not really knowing whatto say.

Usually, there was so much you two talked about, having similar interests and all that. But you were always in the company of others when doing so. Being completely alone was new for you.

“So..,”you repeated. In all your nervousness, you didn’t even realize thathe was just as tense as you were.

“Howare you?”

He tried to keep it casual for now, pretend like this was a day like any other. Try, was the important word here, because he could already smell your perfume and he had the urge to slide over to you, just so he could be closer to you.

“Good..yeah.. good. And you? Namjoon tells me you guys are really busyagain?”

“Yeah..you know how it is. Interviews, fan signs.. all of that,” henodded, looking down at his fidgeting hands, while you took a sip fromyour juice.

“Areyou getting enough sleep? Eating enough?”

Helet out a chuckle and finally looked up at you, finding you smiling alittle at him. 

Itwasn’t just him you were worried about, obviously. But he alwaysloved it when you asked him, personally him, if he really was takinggood care of himself.

“Yesand yes.”

“Good,”you took a deep breath, putting down the glass on the table again andleaning back against the cushions.

The TV was still running, so at least you both could divert your attention to something else. Or, you know, don’t, because even though both pairs of eyes were on the screen, you couldn’t focus on anything that was airing. All your focus was on the other.

“Youah..-” he cleared his throat, “..look pretty.”

You were surprised at that and slowly turned your head to look at him, a blush already spreading on your face, but he still had his eyes on the TV.

“Youthink so?” you looked down on yourself, pretending likeyou were looking at your outfit, while you just wanted to hide theeffect the compliment had on you, when he had suddenly turned his head to look at you as well.

“Mhm..”

“Well..you do, too. I mean.. handsome. You look handsome.”

Itwas ridiculous how you acted like 15 year olds. Hoseok tried to tellhimself that he was like that because you were Namjoon’s sister and because he wanted to treat you right, buthe knew that that wasn’t true. Well.. it was partly true. But it wasn’t the real reason. He just wasn’t confident around you atall.. and maybe that was because he had never felt something like whathe felt for you and it scared him a little. And maybe it was becausehe was afraid that you didn’t feel the same way.

“Could you please just ask her out?” Yoongi stood in the living room, a disgustedand annoyed look on his face, “My entire body is cringing justlooking at you two.”

Bothyou and Hobi immediately jumped up, as if you had been caught doingsomething you weren’t supposed to. You know.. like making out, when in reality you were just talking.

“Ohno.. we weren’t..-” he started, while you, at the same time said:“No.. Hobi isn’t interested in me.”

ButHoseok turned his head to look at you and the look he gave you wasenough for you to ask: “Or are you?”

“I..uhm.. I mean..-,” you blinked at him, completely baffled, becausein no way did you think he reciprocated your feelings. Hobi took adeep breath, knowing that he couldn’t hide it forever and this was the best moment to come clean, when saying, “I am.”

“Really?”the way your face lit up, your smile brighter than he has ever seen before and your eyes shining as if they almost sparkled, made Hoseok let out that breath he held,his body beginning to relax.

“Really..”

Andwhen you hugged him, wrapping your arms around his neck, while hewrapped his around your middle, both of you not having expected the other to like oneself as well, Yoongi let out a disgusted ‘Ew’,before walking into the kitchen. 

But as soon as he was in the otherroom, he grinned from ear to ear, muttering a quiet: ‘Finally’.

[yoonminficrec]

If you plan on sending YFR any asks in the future, please read this post!

Hey, all! Now that we’ve thoroughly transformed our masterlists & tags pages to reflect three years worth of content, we’d like to talk about what types of asks we will and will not answer going forward. 

We have a hardworking team who love answering everyone’s asks, but we’ve noticed some things that decrease our effectiveness and reach when getting to everyone’s requests. From here on, we will not answer asks that can be easily found on the masterlists or tags pages. 

In this post, we’ll address the following things: 

asks for new/recent lists

how to successfully search our blog

how to utilize AO3′s search filters 

helpful & unhelpful asks 

Can I get a new list (or more than one)?

We get asks like this all the time; for example, there are two roommate AU lists on the masterlists page, but someone asks for new or recent roommate AUs. Sometimes we get asks for new versions of the same type of list on a weekly basis. As you can guess, this is a waste of time! 

There are only so many new fics that show up in a week, especially for specific AUs. We will no longer answer asks requesting new versions of lists unless the most recent version of the list is old. Please check the timestamps of the lists on the masterlists page - if they’re recent, we won’t make you a new one. There’s no use making a list with just one or two fics on them! 

We aren’t specifying a timespan here, so please use your best judgement when requesting a new list. 

Additionally, sometimes we receive asks that request multiple totally different lists at once (ex. can i get some bad boy jimin? and also valentine’s day fics!) which is difficult for organization purposes. Asks with multiple specifications make it hard for us to add them to the masterlists page if they’re applicable. Please restrict to one type of list per ask. 

Searching YFR 

Aside from the masterlists & tags pages, you can also use our search box! The admins themselves use the search box frequently when trying to find links of old lists to answer asks with. 

The best way to use the search box is to be vague - use key words. For example, if you’re looking for “stoner yoonmin” but can’t find a tag or list for it already linked, head to the search box and try typing in “stoner.” You might find something! Need some bondage but there’s no tag? Search for “bondage” or “shibari” or even “handcuffs.” 

If you still can’t find any relevant lists, that’s when you send us an ask~

The searchbox can be found here on desktop:

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Searching AO3

AO3′s new update has changed their search system drastically, for the better! As admins of a fic rec blog, we’re very happy with the ease the new changes bring. Sometimes, we get asks that can be found very easily through a quick AO3 search. For example, someone might ask for “college AUs” - that’s it, no specifics. Since that’s all they need, they can use AO3′s filter system instead of coming to us. 

Here are some quick tips that can help you with simple asks like that one. 

AO3′s filter box is visible automatically when you’re on desktop. On mobile, it can be opened by clicking the “Filter” button on the top of the page once you’re on a specific tag (like the BTS or Yoonmin tags). 

You’ll see multiple categories on the side that you can explore and adjust according to need. If you want completed college AUs, you’ll first head to the Min Yoongi | Suga / Park Jimin tag, open the filter box if necessary, and click the “Additional Tags” dropdown menu. You’ll see Alternate Universe - College/University is one of the top tags already - select the box, then scroll down to the dropdown box titled “Completion Status” and select “complete.” You can now search! 

If the tag you want is not one of the top tags, you can type it into the search box right below the “Additional Tags” menu. AO3 will suggest tags to you as you type, and you can click the relevant one. 

There are plenty of other things you can select for through AO3′s filters, but this is just one way to take care of the simpler requests like college AUs, new Alpha/Beta/Omega AUs, etc. 

Helpful & Unhelpful Asks 

You may be now wondering - well, what can I ask for then? The simple answer is: be specific. Some screenshots below are of asks that are specific, unique, and detailed enough for us to answer. 

Types of asks that are difficult for us/unhelpful: 

Asking for a list that’s already on the masterlists page 

Asking for fics that have a tag on the tags page with a lot of content on that tag

Asking for a new version of a list that we just made a few weeks ago 

Asking for something that’s easily searchable on your own 

Asking for a lost fic but not giving us enough details

for example, “i’m looking for the fic where yoonmin are roommates in college” isn’t helpful because there are lots of fics like that - the more detail the better!

Asking for fics similar to another fic but not telling us what you’re looking for as the similarity 

for example, asking for “fics like Brotherhood” without telling us what you want the fic to be like - a better way to ask would be asking for “angsty road trip fics like Brotherhood” or “fics with ot7 and side vhope like Brotherhood”

Thank you so much for reading this post! We’re always happy to help you with your asks, and we’re grateful for everyone’s support throughout the years. Since the blog has grown, we just want to make the time we spend more efficient so that we can better help everyone with their requests. If anyone has any questions about anything in this post, please feel free to ask! 

Reminder that from here on, we’ll no longer be answering the types of asks we discussed in this post. This information is now also included in our FAQ. 

Thank you again for your support!

-YFR Admins 

[minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong]

Dissonance Chapter Fourteen (END)

Description: After spending a year studying abroad in America, Y/N returns to Seoul hoping to greet the familiar city as a new girl. But what will she do when she’s met with old friends she’d rather forget? It seems the strings of fate are determined to test her resolve…and her willpower.

Genre: Fluff and Angst

Pairing: Taehyung x (f) Reader

Word Count: 11.2k

Tags: Badboy!Taehyung, Non-Idol!Au, Rockband BTS!Au, Bassist Taehyung!Au

Warnings: Swearing and mentions of alcohol, although infrequently

A/N: Hello my loves! Thank you for giving this story so much love and support. It’s truly meant the world to me to be able to share this journey with you and I can’t wait for many more to come! I hope I can continue improving and giving you guys stories you’ll enjoy. I’m really glad you guys have stayed with me through this story. I love you all endlessly. If you’re looking for something to read in the meantime during my break, please give my friend @musicandmusing a look! She’s working on a really wonderful Namjoon fic called Metanoia and I think you guys will really like it! That said, please feel free to shoot me a message! I’ll respond to all asks I receive within a day of receiving them. And as always, please send feedback, critique, criticism, or questions my way so I can address them!

ALSO!! Very important 1.0:

The next fic I will be posting is a Jimin fic! I thought about opening a poll like I did for this one, but the idea I’m working on for this story is something I’d had in my head and on paper for a long time. I realized it worked WAY better as a fanfiction than a public story, and Jimin fit the main male character I had in mind pretty perfectly. That said, I’ll post some introduction to the story soon! I should be back to a regular posting schedule pretty soon after I get back from Korea, since I’ll be working on the new story while I’m there! Anyway, let me know if you guys like the idea of a Jimin fic and keep in touch!

Very Important 2.0:

As I kind of mentioned above, I will be in South Korea from July 7th until July 17th! I plan on taking loads of videos and photos and I’ll post all of them, but if you guys have anything you really want to see first-hand, send me a message and I’ll try to get a video or picture! I can’t promise I’ll be able to do it all, but I’d love to sort of…idk, take you guys along with me? I really love video editing and do it as a hobby in my free time (lmao Golden Closet who?) so I’ll be working on a few nicely edited videos to post once I come back. But in the meantime, I’ll post some raw photos and videos here while I edit the big ones! Also I’ll have wifi the entire time as well as data so I’ll be in contact the whole trip. 

- Mercury

Previous Chapter – Next Chapter

Masterlist

I sat between my mother and father on a warm trolley as it tumbled down the street, all three of us silent in the back. I remembered this day being a bad one. I stared down at my lap, at the way the pretty lilac dress my mother had bought me was stained with grass and mud. I ran a small finger over the stains and sighed. My father crossed his arms truffle at my left as my mother sat silently, reading a magazine she’d picked up along the way. It was the first time I’d ever been out of the country. San Francisco whizzed past me out the window of the trolley and in the distance I could see the bright blue of the ocean glittering in the sunlight. It was a beautiful summer day, and the wind felt soft against my cheeks and hair as it slipped in through the open sides of the trolley. I’d never seen anything like it.

Eagerly, I tapped my mother’s arm and pointed at a man in a black wetsuit, carrying a surfboard towards the beach. “Mom, look,” I said.

She glanced up for a brief moment before sighing and returning to her magazine. She adjusted the sunhat on her head. In my excitement, I’d forgotten for a moment that I was in trouble. I stared down at those stains on my dress, wondering if washing them out might make my parents happy with me again. Of course, even as a child I knew better. They weren’t mad about the dress after all.

I traced my fingertips along the bruise forming on my knee, then the ones slowly showing on my exposed forearms. I winced a little as I touched them, and began to fret. If the bruises stayed, a constant, physical reminder of my mistake, then my parents might still be mad. Every time they saw them for as long as they lasted on my skin, they’d remember what I did. Suddenly, I no longer wanted to erase the evidence from my dress, but my body entirely.

“You’re so irresponsible!” screamed my mother an hour earlier as she found me crying on the grass near the hotel pool.

I rubbed my eyes and shook my head. “He was mean to me!” I wailed, tears marching down my young, flushed face.

She was fuming, glaring down at me with a mixture of frustration and worry. “When someone is mean to you do you have to be mean back?” she asked.

I sniffled and shook my head, suddenly bashful. “No,” I said quietly.

She nodded and crouched in front of me, brows set low. “If someone pushes you, do you have to push back?”

I shook my head. “No.”

“Then why in the world would you tackle that boy?!” she shouted, gripping her nose between her fingers. Above her head, the tops of palm trees swayed as they got caught up in the breeze. I wondered if I could get caught up too, carried away.

I opened my mouth to speak, but instead of words only more sobs emerged and I had to clamp a hand over my lips to stop them. My mother glanced around the pool anxiously as parents and children paused to stare at us. I caught sight of the boy I’d tackled as he cried into his mother’s arms. His mother continued to shoot glared our way, but when our eyes met she quickly looked away and returned to soothing her son.

I stared up at my own mother as her eyes scanned the area and my sobs quieted down. I just watched her for a while, how preoccupied she was with the way the families looked at us. The misbehaved daughter. The angry mother. The crying victim. I saw it all somehow like a dumb movie.

She leaned down close to me and, without moving her jaw, she spoke. “Y/N, you are in so much trouble,” she whispered. “You know that right?”

I nodded and sniffled, taking one last look at the little boy as his mother rubbed circles into his back. I glanced back at my own mother whose eyes only fleetingly met mine before she took my hand and pulled me behind her back into the hotel. Her grip on my hand slipped to my wrist and I tried not to recoil against it, as the skin was still tender from that boy grabbing me there. She walked briskly back into the elevator, all the while rattling off scoldings rapid-fire while I struggled to match her pace.

When we emerged in the spacious hotel room, my father was buttoning up his shirt and only spared us a short look. When his eyes came upon me, his expression fell and he sighed. “What happened?” he asked.

“She got in a fight,” mumbled my mother as she released me. “A pretty bad one. By the time I got there, she had the boy pinned.”

“A boy?” asked my dad with a chuckle that lacked all humor. His gaze returned to the long mirror he stood in front of, adjusting his collar. “That dress was expensive.”

I glanced down at it and noticed the stains on the front from where my knees had dug into the ground as I sat on top of the boy’s chest. Horrified, I began patting at it, hoping the smudges would wear off. My mother grabbed my hand again to seize me, but I was desperate to fix the stains.

“Enough!” she shouted, shaking my arm slightly. “We expect better behavior from you, Y/N. This is absolutely embarrassing,” she said.

I glanced up at her with fresh tears welling in my eyes and shook my head. “Mommy,” I whined, one of the only times I’d called her that.

She simply sighed. “You’re wearing that dress all day today whether it’s dirty or not. I’m not buying you something else to wear.”

It wasn’t about that. I slipped my hand free and rushed to the bathroom, standing on my tiptoes to see the damage I’d caused to the dress. I sighed and wiped my eyes. It wasn’t something that would come out that easily.

“And if you think we’re taking photos of you in that you’re wrong,” called my mother through the door.

She had so much to say after the event, but now all she could do was stare at her magazine, flipping page after glossy page with only the delicate tips of her painted fingers. She could barely look at me. My father too. After yelling so much, it seemed they had nothing more to say. Now, I was met with only silence for punishment.

That night after a quiet day walking around the city and eating nice food, I resolved to pack my things and go. I couldn’t remember a time in my life prior to that day when I’d wanted to run away, and that age marked a significant change in the way my parents treated me. And the way I treated them…

I dragged my small suitcase out the door into the lobby as my parents stood watching and shaking their heads. I’d expected them to perhaps stop me when I’d announced that evening after washing up that I planned to run away. Instead they simply shrugged and turned their attention elsewhere, saying that of course I should give it a go. See how much they did for me and return a more grateful, thoughtful daughter.

I walked into the lobby and past the front desk. The employee gave me a funny look that at that age I interpreted to mean respect. I may have been a ten-year-old in monkey pajamas dragging a suitcase that was busting at the seams and wearing sandals that slipped off my feet, but I was going somewhere. She let me go too.

Slowly I walked out into the sunset air. I looped around the back of the hotel until the beach lay splayed out before me and I felt like I could breathe. I rested my suitcase on its side and sat atop it, kicking off my sandals and digging my toes into the warm sand. I smiled as I saw them wiggling. They looked like little dancing crabs. Across the beach from me I saw two kids playing by the water, chasing the waves as they receded and being chased by those same waves as they advanced. I saw their parents sitting watchfully behind them and felt a pang of lonesomeness. Running away felt like a good decision as I sat there, but I remembered suddenly that I had nowhere to go.

What could a ten-year-old do alone in San Francisco?

I shook my head and worked my hands under the sand too, letting the warm grains settle against my cool skin. I shut my eyes and listened to the ocean for a while, the waves lapping against the shore. I felt the sunlight on my cheek as it began to descend in the sky somewhere. Being alone wasn’t so bad. Being lonesome wasn’t so bad.

A sense of peace washed over me with the sound of the waves and I wondered if running away always felt like this. Calm. Like the problems that haunted me moments before were too fleeting to think about anymore. Like the sadness was gone for a moment. I wanted to live like that forever: clear head, clear heart. I opened my eyes and the family was gone, probably back to wherever they’d come from.

Where could I go back to? Where did I want to go back to?

I wanted to tell my parents why I fought that boy.

No.

I wanted them to ask.

I knew my parents expected me to come back eventually. They knew I didn’t have the fortitude, especially at my age, to spend a night out alone. They knew I would come back to the hotel, tail between my legs, and silently unpack my clothes again, organize them neatly again, climb into bed and wordlessly fall asleep. Deep down, I knew it too. And when I did it, somehow it felt like I’d betrayed that girl who’d sat steadfastly atop her luggage in the middle of the beach alone, eyes shut, heart content. I felt like she only existed if I ran to her, ran away from me.

The boy had said my dress looked cheap and ugly.

I’d told him my mom picked it out especially for me and he’d laughed, saying she must hate me.

Perhaps that was the day I learned that running away was also running forward towards something. Perhaps that was the day I learned the profound peace of leaving my pain behind and starting new somewhere else, as someone else. On that beach, I wasn’t the girl in the lilac dress who tackled a boy for being cruel. I also wasn’t the girl who was scolded for an hour and then ignored for eight. I was just a girl, sitting on her suitcase in monkey pajamas. I was someone new.

But I came back, like my parents knew I would.

Perhaps that was why, when I left for America and resolved to never return to them, they didn’t run after me. And perhaps they realized that this time was vastly, infinitely, irrevocably different.

Perhaps that was why they finally came out and found me.

“What are you guys doing here?” I asked, my voice rattling as I shook my head and jogged towards them.

My mother was dressed in a thick knit sweater, and her familiar eyes looked tired. She looked at me like the chill from outside was biting her skin, like it pained her a little to see me. My father stood at her side, brows knit as his gaze fell from my face and scanned the whole of me. Had I lost weight? Was I wearing something funny? I felt insecure under his scrutinizing eyes, as if I’d done something wrong.

I supposed I had.

“You weren’t returning our texts,” said my mother with a long exhale. I could see the exhaustion in her posture.

I shook my head. “I…I was going to. This weekend actually. I was gonna call you and-,”

“And what?” asked my father, his voice soft and weak like he didn’t have the strength to raise it. Had I made my parents become this way?

“And…,” I began, then glanced over my shoulder at the rest of the group who all stared at the scene between my family with similarly wide eyes. I locked gazes with Hyerim who offered a small, almost pitying smile. “I wanted to talk things out properly,” I said, finding my strength.

My father nodded slowly. “And now? Can we…can we talk now?” he asked.

I flushed and stared between him and my mother. Something guttural, primal, inside of me lurched forward with words of rejection. I wanted to tell them no. But seeing them before me, messier than they’d ever been, out in a strange concert venue in the middle of the night…

It was like they’d crossed the tightrope to find me on the other side. And I didn’t need to take a single step in return. All I had to do was not run further backwards. Run to a place where they couldn’t reach me.

I swallowed the nerves that rose in my throat and glanced back at my friends, a mixed-up, banged-up, ragtag assortment of people who under normal circumstances would never have come together. And yet, here we were. All the parallel lines that we traversed had intersected, right here.

“Guys?” I said to the team as they continued to watch with bated breath. “I’m gonna go…deal with some stuff. Go on and grab food without me.”

Taehyung gave me a soft smile and nodded. “Take your time,” he said.

I returned it. “Okay.”

“Want us to save you something? I know you like the lettuce at that barbecue place,” said Jimin, pouting a little as his eyes flitted between me and my parents.

I chuckled. “No. That’s okay. Just…go have fun. I’ll call you guys later.”

I walked back towards the group and grabbed my backpack, slinging it over my right shoulder. As I stood upright once more, Hyerim placed a hand on my back and met my eyes. She seemed to be reading me for a moment. I simply smiled and removed her hand from my body, giving it a squeeze before turning on my heel to meet my parents.

“Not a lot of places are open right now,” I said, staring at the concrete floor. “But I know a twenty-four hour convenience store. We can eat some ramen.”

Thirty minutes later the three of us sat at a booth outside, bundled up in our jackets and waiting for our cups of ramen to finish cooking. My parents weren’t familiar with how to properly cook it, so I helped them wordlessly. I waited one minute more before grabbing mine and removing the chopsticks from the rounded edge of the cup, letting the lid flip open. I watched the steam escape into the night air and waited for my parents to follow suit.

Cautiously, they each did. I took a large bite and slid it between my teeth, letting the hot noodles sooth my bundled nerves. “Y/N-,” began my father.

“Hold on,” I said, still slurping noodles. I pulled my legs up to my chest to conserve my body heat as I began to chew. “I wanna talk on my terms.”

My father was quiet, nodding as he took a bite too. My mother joined, but all the while her eyes were trained on me. “This is good,” she commented.

I nodded. “I used to eat this freshman year whenever I had finals,” I said, then laughed. “I stopped in America because their convenience stores don’t work the same.”

“That’s right,” said my father with a chuckle. “We wanted to use some hot water in San Francisco but they didn’t have any.”

“Ah,” my mother said, her tone reminiscent. “I had to drink my tea cold. It never seeped properly.”

I glanced between them. They conversed in a way that, to an outsider, might appear casual. But I saw something else. They were tense, on edge. They were just waiting for me to give them the okay to speak freely. Part of me was pushing it off as long as I could. That same part of me was terrified of what they’d have to say.

“How did you guys know where to find me?” I asked quietly.

My mother met my eyes with her wide ones and smiled almost bashfully. “Ah, I talked to Mrs. Park after you went to Busan and asked how it went. She mentioned that the boys started this band and we kind of just…hoped,” she said. I felt butterflies fluttering in my stomach from the nerves. I knew I had to face it sometime, and that old urge to brush it away and run returned.

But as the steam from my ramen warmed my cheeks, I finally cleared my throat and nodded. “Let’s talk now,” I said, setting it aside.

“Okay!” said my father, smiling. He seemed so eager.

“I…I’ve been trying…for a while now, I’ve been trying,” I began, chuckling to myself, “to stop hating you.”

I stared at the cool black surface of our outdoor table. “Sweetheart, I need you to know that we’re sorry,” said my mother, reaching for my hand.

I pulled it away and looked at her, brows furrowed. “What are you sorry for specifically?”

She looked at my father with a helpless expression and he nodded, leaning towards me. “All of it,” he said. “From the beginning, Y/N.”

“Specifically…,” I urged, voice low.

“I’m sorry for firing Dongmin,” said my father.

I nodded. “Okay.”

He blinked and set his lips thin. “And I’m sorry about the donation,” he said.

“And?”

“And Kim Taehyung,” said my mother, nodding vigorously. “I’m sorry we asked him to stay away.”

“Alright,” I said, twirling my chopstick around in my ramen. I’d lost my appetite.

“All of it, Y/N,” said my father, eyes misty. “We’re sorry for all of it.”

“Why?” I asked.

His eyes went wide. “Because…doing those things for the reason we did them was wrong,” he said easily.

I hummed and continued swirling my chopstick. “I don’t know if I can accept that.”

My mother shook her head. “Sweetie, we’re being sincere. We know we made mistakes with you.”

“What you’ve apologized are just the result of the one thing I need you to apologize for, Mom,” I said.

She stared at me with wide eyes. “What?”

I sniffled in the cold air. “I don’t need an apology for the shitty things you did,” I said. “I need an apology for the way you see me.”

“The way we…what?” asked my father.

I met his eyes. “You didn’t raise me like a person,” I said. “And that fucked me up.”

He shook his head. “Y/N, please don’t curse,” he said, tone even.

I scoffed. “You’ve lost the right to scold me,” I said. “And if I wanna curse I’m gonna do it.” I felt myself becoming defensive, cold, stubborn. I knew this me was unreasonable. But I was sitting across from my biggest demons, the ones that plagued me the most. “You’re treating the symptoms, not the cause.”

“What do you mean?” asked my mother. “Please, Y/N. We’re trying to understand you.”

I nodded. “I don’t want to spell it out,” I said, sighing. “I want you guys to see how what you did was damaging and apologize for it.”

“Are you upset with the way you were raised?” asked my father. Normally, such a pointed question would have struck me as argumentative and accusatory, but my father only sounded sad. I felt myself cool down a little.

“No,” I said. “I…have you ever thought about how your actions would weigh on my conscience?” I asked, to which the pair stayed silent. “Did you think I would like it if you guys got my best friend kicked out of the school? Did you think I wouldn’t feel guilty for the things you said to Taehyung during his hardest time? And that you did it all for me?”

They were quiet. “I never…,” began my mother, touching her lips.

“I don’t want to carry guilt over something I didn’t do and something I didn’t choose,” I said, then sighed. “I know you two wanted to do these things for me because you thought it was right. Because you thought I would benefit,” I said. “But in doing what you felt was best for me you put the full weight of your choices on my back.”

My father nodded. “I had no idea you felt this way. Your mother and I,” he began, taking my mother’s hand. “We love you. And we want the best things for you.”

“But you never let me decide what that was,” I said.

“We were misguided,” said my mother with a nod, sniffling into her napkin. I didn’t want to make her cry…

My father swallowed. “I think…in trying to get the best, we forgot about what it might be doing to you,” he said, then met my eyes with a quivering lip. “Y/N, did you ever feel burdened by us?”

I stiffened and felt my chest constrict. I would cry soon. “I…”

He nodded. “You don’t need to answer,” he said, then cursed under his breath. “I knew I should have gone easier on you.”

“What?” I asked.

He smiled my way. “You know my father was tough on me. He made me work hard, organized meetings for us about my grades. He expected a lot from me,” he said. “And I…I remember feeling so burdened by him.”

I shook my head. “It’s not…,” I began, but I couldn’t finish. Any rebuke would be a lie.

He chuckled and held my mother’s hand tighter. “I guess when I had a child to raise myself I forgot how horrible that was. I only saw ways to better you, because you had so much potential. I wanted you to do only good things in life, and for you to be…surrounded by only good things.”

“Dad…”

“But I was one of the bad things that surrounded you,” he said, shaking his head. My mother rubbed his back. “I was one of the clouds that hung around you all your life. I…I never wanted to be that kind of person to you.”

“I understand,” I said softly. My parents looked up at me seriously, each of them sporting expressions unguarded by composure. “I…I know you didn’t have bad intentions.”

“But the result is the same,” said my mother, nodding slowly as she stared at her ramen. “We hurt you. Because we wanted so much for you…we forgot about your happiness.”

I sniffled and dabbed away a stray tear as it crested over my lower eyelid. “You thought you were doing the thing that would help me,” I said. “You always did.”

“But we were wrong,” said my father, meeting my eyes. “We were so wrong.”

I nodded. “Really?”

He smiled and again my mother reached for my hand. This time I let her take it. “We realized when you were away…we’d rather have a daughter who does what makes her happy than a daughter who does what makes her unhappy for our sake,” he said. “We’d rather have a daughter who’s in our lives than a daughter who hates us.”

I wiped my eyes again and sniffed, gazing into the steam as it seeped off my noodles. “I understand,” I repeated.

“And we are so sorry,” said my mother, her fingers tight around my hand. “We are so sorry for always choosing for you and for choosing wrong. We’re sorry for being so caught up in our expectations that we couldn’t recognize that you were hurting.”

I flushed and nodded, still minding my tears. “And we’re sorry that we were the cause of that hurt,” said my father delicately.

“I accept your apology,” I said. “And I forgive you.”

My father exhaled loudly and I glanced up to see him slouched over his ramen, a tear falling from his chin into the soup. “Thank God,” he whispered.

“We thought we’d lost you for good this time,” said my mother, her voice cracking.

I nodded. “I thought so too,” I said. “But…for you and for myself, I need to forgive you.”

“And…well, if it’s not too much,” began my father, meeting my eyes with a broken smile. “We’d love to be able to see you more.”

I blinked and stiffened in my seat. “It…it might take some time,” I said. “I need some time before things can be normal.”

“We’re willing to wait,” said my mother, nodding.

I met her eyes and swallowed. “I can’t promise that the old pain won’t come up again.”

“We don’t expect that,” said my father.

I nodded. “I’m…I’m willing to try again,” I said, then chuckled as I stirred my ramen and took another big bite. “Slowly.”

I rolled over in bed on Saturday morning, head foggy from the night out with everyone. I’d had one too many drinks at Jungkook and Hoseok’s demand and my body seemed not to take it very well. Groggily, I stumbled out of bed and with eyes squinted felt my way to the door. My finger slid over the frame of my painting, the only one I had hung up: A Pair of Shoes. I opened one eye and, though it strained against the vibrant morning sun, I saw the outline of the painting perfectly well and a smile spread across my lips slowly. I opened the door and slipped into the living room where Haewon was already lying on her back, limbs splayed out in all directions, on the couch.

She glanced at me and smiled. “She awakens,” she said.

I laughed and nodded, but the motion caused my head to pound and I winced. “She wishes she didn’t.”

Haewon chuckled and pointed vaguely towards the kitchen. “Yuna left for work earlier but she left out a bottle of that nasty herbal stuff you guys like for hangovers. She also made you toast, but it’s cold now.”

I smiled and slid into the kitchen. I grabbed the bottle Yuna had left for me, the ‘nasty herbal stuff’ that actually worked wonders if I hadn’t gone too far, and snapped the top open. I poured it down my throat while plugging my nose, cringing against the bitter taste, before tossing the empty bottle into the trash and popping the piece of toast left on the counter between my teeth.

I walked back out into the living room and smirked at Haewon. “Do I look like those cute anime girls? The ones that run with toast in their mouths?”

She scrunched up her face and rolled her eyes. “Pretty sure no cute anime girl has ever ran with toast while dead hungover.”

I laughed and shrugged, sitting on the ground beside her head. “It’s a fair point.”

She tilted her face towards mine and scanned my eyes, narrowing her own. “You seem giddy. What gives?”

“Nothing!” I exclaimed, then squeezed my eyes shut against the pounding in my head. “Nothing,” I repeated, this time making sure my tone was more measured.

“One of three things happened,” she said, nodding and staring at the ceiling. “Option one: something good with Hyerim.”

I laughed. “Not particularly.”

“Okay. Two: something good with your parents,” she said.

I smiled at my half-eaten toast. “I mean…we finally talked last night so I guess.”

“Option three: something good with Taehyung,” she said.

My body went hot and I cleared my throat, fanning my face with my hand. “No, uh…nothing of the sort,” I said. “It’s kinda hot in here.”

She laughed a little too loudly and clapped my shoulder, sitting upright. “Something did happen! Girl, I knew it,” she said. “Did you two finally,” she said, but stopped to instead wiggle her eyebrows at me.

I gasped. “No!” I shouted. “It’s not that,” I said. “He just kept…I don’t know, calling me his girlfriend and stuff.”

She settled down and groaned. “God, that’s all it takes to make you this happy?”

I shrugged. “I am a simple girl.”

“Well lemme tell you, that boy has been waiting twenty years to do the Devil’s Tango with you. I don’t think he’s as simple as you are,” she said with a laugh.

I glanced at her. The way she smiled at her phone as she scrolled through it made me wonder what she knew. “Suspicious,” I said, angling myself towards her. “You have info.”

She shrugged. “At the right price I do.”

I sighed. “Give me a hint so I know if it’s worth it,” I said.

She winked at me. “Has to do with your man and his…ahem,” she paused to make a show of clearing her throat, “urges.”

“Ew, okay I’m not interested anymore,” I said, laughing and turning back to the TV as it droned on.

She smacked my shoulder. “You should be! It has to do with you anyway.”

Slowly, I returned my gaze to her and cocked a brow. “My interest is once again piqued.”

She smiled wide in the way that made me nervous. “What will you give me?”

“I’ll do your laundry for a week,” I said.

“A month.”

“Two weeks.”

“Make it two and a half and throw in Yoongi’s number and you’ve got yourself a deal,” she said, holding out her hand for me to shake.

I smirked. “Yoongi?” I asked.

She shrugged. “I never noticed him before because I was all caught up in the silver-haired demon, but now that Taehyung is brunette and also dating my best friend, I started to kind of…let my eyes wander, you know?”

I laughed. “Shameless!”

“I prefer terms like go-getter and initiative-haver,” she said, nodding.

“Okay, okay. Deal,” I said, taking her outstretched hand and offering a firm shake. “So what’s this insider information? I’m riveted.”

She laughed and leaned down close to my ear. “He’s not as cool as he pretends to be, okay? So only use this when you really wanna tease him.”

“Why are we doing this?”

“It’s a date.”

“It’s weird.”

“The only reason it’s weird is because you’re being weird,” said Taehyung with a long sigh as he continued to focus on the claw machine in front of him.

I crossed my arms and watched him as he fixated on a particular plush of Gudetama. “These things are made so you fail,” I said, resting a hip against the machine.

He continued to stare into the lighted box, eyes stuck on that plush toy. “I’m gonna get it,” he said.

I nodded. “Fine, fine. Manly man Kim Taehyung has decided on something and he’ll get it through sheer willpower. Against the overwhelming odds. Against the very laws of physics. He will venture to-,”

Before I could finish, his lips were pressed against mine, fingers threaded through my hair for a brief moment before he pulled away and returned his undivided attention to the game. My face felt hot and the cool air did little to soothe it as we stood outside a busy shop, cars whizzing by behind us and people walking by quickly. Some of them paused to watch Taehyung and puzzle over the scene of a grown man bent over the glass front of a claw machine, a beet red girl at his side, burying her nose in her scarf.

“What was that about?” I asked.

He stuck out his tongue as he focused and sent the claw down once more. “To quiet you down,” he said. “I need to focus if I wanna get this thing.”

He’s not as cool as he pretends to be. I scoffed as I remembered the secret Haewon had shared with me. I nodded and allowed him his moment of performance, settling instead for just watching with raised brows as the claw clamped down around Gudetama’s yolk-yellow head. I gasped as the machine drew the toy upward into the sky and carried it through the air, above all the other unlucky plushes, towards the drop box. A little more and it might really make it.

Eagerly, I gave Taehyung’s shoulders a few smacks, then clapped my hands together. “It’s gonna work!” I exclaimed.

He glanced at me out the corner of his eye and winked. “Of course it is,” he said. “I told you I was gonna get it.”

I beamed at the machine and watched with bated breath as the thing hovered in the air. But slowly, the plush began to sag down with the force of gravity, leaning down towards the rest of its brethren and away from the claw which promised it a new home. Before the claw could deliver Taehyung his toy, Gudetama slipped from its grasp and landed in a heap on top of a plush of Moomin and a blank-faced Ryan. I sighed as Gudetama’s expression remained unchanged, still set in a lazy frown.

“When you try your best but you don’t succeed,” I sang quietly.

He turned to me with wide eyes. “Don’t patronize me!”

I laughed and gave his cheek a light pat, taking his hand and wheeling him back around down the street. I laced our fingers as he protested, insisting we return to the claw game to reclaim his toy and his dignity. “I will not let you blow your life’s savings on a five-dollar plush,” I said. “Let’s keep going. Didn’t you say you had something nice planned?”

This seized his attention as he nodded and gripped my hand tighter. “Ah, yes! I have something really cool to show you,” he said.

I smiled up at him. “Can I know what it is or is it a surprise?” I asked.

He smirked and leaned away from me. “It’s a surprise and you won’t seduce me into telling you.”

I gaped. “I wasn’t trying to!”

“Yes you were,” he said, narrowing his eyes at me. “You knew what you were doing when you smiled like that.”

“How did I smile?” I asked through laughter.

He pursed his lips and shrugged. “I dunno,” he said, pouting. “Like you liked me or something.”

I continued laughing for a long moment as we meandered down the street. “Kim Taehyung, why in the world would I not smile at you that way?” I asked. “You’re my boyfriend. Of course I like you.”

He shrugged and swung our hands a little. “You seemed annoyed with me at the claw machine,” he said, voice low, almost cute.

I scoffed. “If you think I’d stop liking you just because you annoy me then why would I have liked you for twenty years?” I asked. “Do you know how much of those twenty years you spent annoying me?”

He gave me a glare before chuckling. “Fine,” he said. “Ah! Over here,” he said, turning a sharp left turn down an alleyway.

I walked by his side, hand-in-hand, as he led the way through the narrow brick alleyway. After a few feet of walking he paused in front of a stairwell and began scaling them up the side of the building. At the first landing, a wooden sign hung swaying in the breeze and he opened the door, letting me inside first.

The first thing I noticed was the scent of old paper. As my eyes adjusted to the low light, I began to see the outlines of massive, tall bookshelves, lining the walls and leading deep into dark corners. In each of the many windows stood potted plants, some of whom had begun to climb up the brick walls. Outside the front windows I caught sight of buses and cars flying by and rainclouds gathering overhead. The gloomy atmosphere, the temperature, the soft music bumping from speakers I couldn’t see: all of it made the place feel…oddly homey.

“Ah! Taehyung,” said the woman behind the counter. She maneuvered around toe side of the register to greet us, the only two people in the whole place.

She pushed her graying hair out of her face and smiled softly. “Hi Jiyeon,” he said as the small woman swept him up in her arms.

I raised my brows and glanced between them. “Oh! This must be Y/N,” she said warmly, reaching out her arms for me.

I blushed and held her close in a hug. “Nice to meet you,” I said, then backed away and turned a puzzled expression on Taehyung. “But…how do you know this place?”

He grinned and crossed his arms. “Once I moved in with Jimin I started working here. That was before Bangtan took off,” he said.

“Oh!” I said, turning to Jiyeon with a grin. “So you’re his former boss!” I smirked and leaned closer to her. “He’s a bad employee, right?”

She giggled and nodded. “On sunny days he would sit in the back by the windows and nap like a cat,” she said.

I gaped. “No!”

“Not just like a cat,” said Taehyung, crouching down beside the register and motioning with his fingers towards something I couldn’t see. A small tabby stretched her legs and wandered towards his outstretched hands and rubbed her small head against his fingers. “But with the cat.”

I laughed and joined him crouching. The tabby took to me quickly, abandoning Taehyung in lieu of rubbing her whole self on my hands. I smiled. “What’s her name?” I asked, glancing at Jiyeon over my shoulder.

She smiled and hummed. “It used to be Whiskers but Taehyung renamed her Venus,” she said, watching the cat snake around my ankles fondly.

“Why Venus?” I asked.

Taehyung chuckled and picked her up, standing with the cat resting against his hip. “See the orange in her fur?” he asked, pointing to a patch of amber.

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“Like Botticelli,” he said.

“Ah!” I exclaimed with a nod. The russet-haired goddess that was hanging in print in his bedroom. The Birth of Venus by Botticelli. “That’s a good name.”

“I preferred Whiskers,” said Jiyeon with a laugh. “But our Tae is too smart for a name like that.”

I grinned and nodded, petting Venus’ tiny head before turning back to Jiyeon. “But what exactly is this place?” I asked, gazing back into the rows of books, begging to be explored.

She guided me by the shoulder towards the stacks. “It’s a used book store, dear,” she said. “We take old books for free and sell them at half the price of most secondhand stores.”

“Wow,” I said, gaping into the dark aisle, books on either side, nearly touching the high ceiling. “These were all donations? How did you get so many?” I asked.

She grinned and tapped her forehead. “Hard work,” she said. “When you care for a plant, you use the best soil. You buy fertilizer and you weed it nicely. You trim it when the leaves begin to die. You water it nicely. Sometimes you feel discouraged and you wonder if it will ever grow. But in time all of your efforts are reflected in the wonderful results,” she said. “Life is like that.”

I blinked at her before smiling slowly and nodding. “I see.”

“If you give it your all, you can do a whole lot,” she said, sighing as she gazed upon the fruits of her labor.

“Y/N, why don’t we explore a little?” asked Taehyung, leaving Venus behind to groom herself on the counter and resting a hand on my hip.

I smiled. “Sure,” I said, then turned to Jiyeon and met her eyes. “Thank you,” I said.

She nodded. “Make yourselves at home,” she said. “We’ll open in an hour.”

“Huh?” I asked as she turned back to the register and Taehyung ushered me down the aisle. “Wait, it’s not open yet?”

He chuckled and patted my head, guiding me through the labyrinth of bookshelves. “Of course not. Why else would nobody be here?” he asked.

“You asked her to let us in early?” I asked.

He glanced at me, wide-eyed, before shaking his head. “No,” he said. “Every now and then on Saturday mornings I like to come here early and help her move things around. Sometimes he has new books that are too high to shelf. Sometimes the plants need work.”

“But you don’t even work here,” I said, furrowing my brow.

He smiled. “She’s the kind of person you don’t stop seeing just because you don’t have an excuse to see her,” he said. “You felt it too right? Like you just…wanted to be around her?”

I nodded. “I did actually,” I said, smiling as I ran my finger across the spines of the books.

“It’s kind of like…brand loyalty or something. That’s how she’s grown so much. She just…created this community for herself,” he said.

I exhaled slowly. “She reminds me of someone,” I said slowly, carefully. I eyed him, gauging his reaction.

His lips parted in a small smile and he nodded, focused on a book as he pulled it from the shelf and fingered through it. “Me too,” he said. “When I first started working here…I really felt like I was with her again.” He glanced up at me and nodded. “My grandma.”

I smiled. “They’re both wonderful.”

“Maybe someday, when you’re a big journalist or screenwriter or something, you can do a talk here,” he said, chuckling.

I nodded. “I’d like that,” I said. “And when you become a famous lyricist you can come with me.”

He laughed. “I’d like that.”

Unconsciously, we’d moved slightly closer to one another. In his hand, the book lay open, face-up. But slowly, his other hand drifted to the small of my back and settled there. I furrowed my brow at him as he leaned down closer and met my eyes. A playful smile was resting beautifully on his lips as he tilted his head to the side.

“Are you trying to seduce me now?” I asked, laughing as my hands lifted to touch his chest.

He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could Jiyeon called from the front of the store, “Oh no! Taehyung, can you help me unload this box please?”

Taehyung chuckled and shut the book, placing it back on the shelf and turning on his heel. “I’ll be back as soon as I’m done,” he said, waving over his shoulder before jogging out of the dim aisle.

I smiled and glanced around at the titles of the books in front of me. I hadn’t noticed it before, but we’d wandered into the arts section. I smiled at the books as they stood before me: books on Michelangelo, Georgia O’Keeffe, Vermeer, Munch, even some newer books on Frida Kahlo. But one struck me and caught my eye, as it was still slightly crooked after Taehyung had replaced it. A complete collection of the paintings at the Louvre. My heart raced. I grabbed for it and flipped it onto its front, glancing at the price tag. For something with over 3,000 paintings in it, the massive thing was shockingly cheap. I cleared my throat and wandered carefully out of the bookshelves and towards the front where Jiyeon stood behind the register, petting Venus’ head.

I looked around, careful to mind any noises that might be Taehyung and quickly approached, sliding the book across the desk towards her. “May I buy this?” I asked.

She glanced down at it and smiled. “Ah,” she said. “I’m glad you came by this morning. That book only came in yesterday and as soon as I shelved it I had a couple try to haggle with me for the price.”

I gaped. “It’s already so cheap,” I commented.

She nodded. “Nonetheless, if they came back today they would have worn me down,” she said. “I’ll give you a discount though. Family and friends,” she said with a laugh.

I joined her and nodded. “Oh, and could you maybe…um, put it in a brown bag or something? So Tae won’t see?”

She grinned. “I’ll do you one better,” she said, pulling out a roll of hunter green wrapping paper.

Swiftly, she wrapped the thing and taped the sides, sliding it into a large paper bag and handing it back to me. In exchange, I passed her my debit card and waited with bated breath for her to finish the transaction. She handed it back and, without a second to spare, Taehyung returned, slightly breathless from working, and smiled at me.

“Found something already?” he asked.

I nodded. “Yep!” I said, just a little too quickly.

Taehyung and I parted ways at noon so I could dedicate the day to revising my essay. I’d half-figured I would simply begin the work on it today and give finishing it a go tomorrow, but as I sat down to write I couldn’t really stop the steamrolling flow of words that fled my fingertips. Before I knew it, hours had passed and the essay was nearly completely finished save for touchups and minor edits. I stared down at it as my computer’s glow cast an eerie shadow all around my dark room. There it was.

“Don’t we need to go soon?” asked Yuna from outside my door, giving it a few knocks.

I startled to my feet and cursed under my breath. “Shit, yeah! Thanks for reminding me!” I said, shoving my laptop into a satchel along with Tae’s book and a few concert essentials.

Quickly, I turned on a light and applied my makeup messily. I looked a bit frazzled, but as I dressed and took a quick glance at my vanity mirror I could see a bit of confidence that wasn’t there before. I couldn't ponder it long, because I was out the door and rushing with Haewon and Yuna out into the hallway and towards the elevator.

We arrived at the venue a few minutes past eight: forty minutes past when I promised I’d be there to finish setup. I yanked open the heavy door and smiled at the familiar scene before me. This was the very same Hongdae venue where everything had started after all. It looked the same, but somehow felt vastly different. The boys stood on stage, adjusting their instruments. They were mostly ready and it seemed, for once, I was the unprepared, late one.

I rushed in with the girls in tow and approached Sunny with chagrin. “I’m sorry I’m late,” I said quietly into her ear.

Without a word, she simply gestured to the seats beside hers and I took one graciously. The girls sat beside me and we all watched in relative silence as the boys ran through a few songs.

After a few songs, Sunny leaned over and whispered in my ear. “Not having you here reminded me of what it was like before you came,” she began, then met my eyes severely. “Don’t make me remember that again.”

I laughed. “What?”

She raised her brows. “Don’t you know? Ah, you should talk to Joon. He’ll explain it better.”

Puzzled, I stared at her for a long moment before the boys finished and abandoned their instruments onstage, hopping down to join us. I caught a glimmer of a smile from Yoongi as he approached and followed his gaze straight to Haewon. I stifled a laugh and turned to the rest of the boys.

“Joon, weren’t you supposed to tell her?” asked Sunny, standing and causing me to follow suit.

Namjoon glanced at me and smiled, rubbing his neck. “Ah, yeah. That’s right,” he said.

I smiled. “Go ahead.”

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair before meeting my eyes again. “Well, uh…the thing is…,” he said, then slumped his shoulders. “You’ve paid off your debt. You don’t have to work for us anymore.”

“I’ve…really?” I asked.

He nodded. “And we all talked about it and, collectively, we understand if you don’t wanna do it anymore,” he said.

“But!” called Jimin, raising a finger and shutting his eyes with a smile. “If you do still want to work with us, we can pay you.”

“What?” I asked.

He nodded. “Handsomely,” he said.

“Not as handsome as me,” said Jin with a smile, to which Yoongi simply gave him a sharp smack in the gut.

I rolled my eyes and refocused my attention on Jimin. “We’d want you around more though,” said Hoseok, smiling.

I returned it. “Why?”

“Well,” said Sunny, turning towards me with a grin. “We would want you to be the full-time concert manager so I can work on getting their name out there and making connections in the music scene.”

I raised my brows. “Excuse me?”

“I can’t really do both,” she said, laughing. “Not enough time in the day.”

I blinked at my hands and thought a long moment. Hyerim approached from backstage followed by Mijin, both of whom stared at me with a mixture of concern and expectation in their eyes. Of course, I was tempted to stay. But with work at the cafe and school, I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it all. And besides, I didn’t want to be a manager forever. I wanted to-

“Write with me,” said Taehyung.

I flushed and turned to him with wide eyes. “E…excuse me?” I asked.

He nodded. “Write lyrics for Bangtan with me.”

My lips parted in a gape as the offer sat stagnant in the air. I blinked, unable to process what he’d said. Of course, I’d toyed with the idea of songwriting. But I wasn’t sure I had what it took. “I…I don’t know.”

“Think about it,” said Namjoon with a smile. “You don’t have to answer right away.”

I nodded. “I will,” I said, but truthfully I’d already been thinking about it hard enough to work up a headache.

The concert went by smoothly, and no malfunctions occurred, leaving Sunny and me a moment to breathe a sigh of relief. As I watched the boys performing their hearts out, a part of me felt oddly guilty. Here they were, performing at the same mid-sized venue they had been in the beginning. They weren’t growing as rapidly as they could be. And what was holding them back was…well, me.

Taehyung wrapped an arm around my shoulders once the venue had cleared out and gave me a smile. “Wanna come back to the dorm with me?” he asked.

I raised my brows. “Oh, yeah,” I said, tightening my satchel over my shoulder.

“Are you still worrying about the offer?” he asked, meeting my eyes as the others began talking boisterously.

I chewed on my lip and nodded. “A little bit.”

He took my hand in his and smiled. “Don’t,” he said. “You’ll make the right choice for you.”

I sighed and nodded. “I hope so,” I said.

We walked with laced fingers back to the group as they discussed where to eat late dinner. “You guys down for lamb skewers?” asked Jungkook with a grin.

I shook my head and pinched the bridge of my nose. “After my monster hangover this morning, I think I’ll pass,” I said.

“Besides,” said Taehyung with a smirk. “We have a date.”

“Oh God!” exclaimed Jungkook, pointing at us. “You guys? In the dorm? Alone?” he said, gagging.

Hoseok rolled his eyes and clamped a hand over Jungkook’s lips. “Go have fun,” he said, meeting my eyes with a smile. A real one.

I smiled in return and nodded. “See you guys later,” I said, waving over my shoulder as everyone continued their talks of food.

I sat on Taehyung’s bed as he read over my essay at his desk, brows set low as his eyes scanned the screen. I watched him anxiously, eager to know what his thoughts were. It had become something entirely different from what it was in the beginning. Perhaps that was the point, really.

He shut the laptop and stared ahead, blinking. “Well?” I asked.

He turned to me and, slowly, a wide, proud smile spread across his face. He shook his head and scoffed. “You really did this today?” he asked.

I nodded. “I mean, I’ve been working on the revision for about a week, but in terms of the bulk of it-,”

“Jesus, Y/N,” he said, laughing. “If your professor doesn’t like this he’s a madman.”

“It’s not about him liking it,” I said with a chuckle. I remembered his sage words from before. “It’s about making something I can be proud of.”

He smiled. “And? What’s the verdict?”

“I’m proud,” I said.

He clapped his hands together. “That’s my girl,” he said.

I laughed, rolling my eyes as I reached for my heavy satchel. I pulled the book from inside and turned to him. He eyed me carefully as I stood to my feet. “I have something for you,” I said.

He laughed. “Wait, I have something for you,” he said, rushing to his closet and throwing it open. He pulled out a bag and held it in front of him. “On three we switch, okay?” he asked.

I grinned and nodded. “Deal. Ready?” I began.

“One,” he said.

“Two,” I responded.

“Three!” we called at once, handing each other the gifts.

Immediately, I tore into mine and pulled from the depths of the tissue paper something soft and plush. With a gasp, I yanked the thing out the rest of the way and saw Gudetama’s blank face staring at me. With wide eyes, I smoothed my hands over the toy and smiled at Taehyung who by then was already looking at me with a grin.

“Tae!” I shouted, smacking him with the toy. “You went back?”

He nodded and scratched his arm. “I know you like Gudetama,” he said.

I laughed. “You’re crazy.”

“You’re crazier!” he defended, waving the book around. “I can’t believe you got me this. I wasn’t gonna buy it since it was kind of pricey.”

I gaped. “Pricey? Do you know how much that retails for?” I asked.

“No?” he asked.

I pouted and crossed my arms. “Probably a lot.”

He laughed and approached. “Anyway,” he said, “thank you.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and smiled down at me.

I returned his smile and placed the plush on his bed. “Thank you too.”

He inhaled sharply and pulled me closer by the hips. I felt his chest rise and fall against mine. “You know your essay is amazing, right?” he asked.

I rolled my eyes. “Come on.”

He rested his head on my shoulder, letting his lips touch the skin of my neck and sending shivers up and down my spine. “It is. And if you can write essays like that…what’s stopping you from trying lyrics?”

I flushed and held him tighter. “I don’t know.”

“You’ve got enough trauma to be a good songwriter,” he joked. “That’s why I make good lyrics.”

I laughed. “A tortured artist?” I asked.

He smiled against my skin and I felt hot. “Hm,” he hummed. “I think you’d be great.”

“I think you’re great,” I said. “I never properly thanked you for the song.”

He chuckled and pulled away, meeting my eyes. “Why would you thank me for writing a song about your worst day?” he asked.

I smiled. “Because…you made it something beautiful,” I said. “You took pain and made…art.”

He grinned and swayed us back and forth. “You think?”

“Mhm,” I said. “To be able to face your hurt…face my hurt, and give it meaning like that,” I started, then shook my head. “It’s amazing.”

“If you think that, why don’t you give it a try?” he asked.

I stared up at him and saw nothing but sincerity in his eyes. “I mean…,” I trailed off.

“You believe in me,” he said. “And I believe in you. I believe you can do this.”

I pursed my lips. “But the cafe-,”

“Quit,” he said.

I stared at him wide-eyed. “What?”

He smiled. “You don’t like it anyway,” he said. “Spend time doing the things you love.”

“And I love being a manager?” I asked. “And a…a songwriter?”

He laughed. “I think you do.”

I thought about it for a long moment before sighing and resting my forehead against his chest. “You guys would pay me right?”

He laughed and it vibrated against my forehead. He shook my shoulders a little. “Of course, you lunatic! Unpaid labor is against the law.”

“Haven’t I been doing that this whole time?” I asked, puzzled as I pulled away.

He set his lips thin before clearing his throat. “Anyway,” he said, leaning down so our eyes were level. I saw so many warm memories in the dark brown of his eyes. “Is that a yes?”

I held in a laugh and nodded once. “Yes.”

He smiled and, without warning, pressed his lips against mine. The kiss began chaste, really just a peck. But I moved my hands to his hair, raking my fingers through the soft locks, and as I did a low groan escaped him that made my stomach flip. Before I realized what I was doing, I was backing up against the bed, shoving Gudetama onto the floor. Taehyung hovered above me and began leaving a trail of kisses down my neck, lingering on my collarbone and shoulders. I gasped as his teeth nipped my skin and he only gave me a laugh. Slowly, I edged my fingers towards the hem of his shirt and, without a second’s pause, he pulled the thing over his head and tossed it to the side. I blushed as I stared at him and met his smoldering eyes.

He kissed me once more, this time more passionately, but as he broke away I began to laugh. A memory surfaced that I couldn’t shove down and as he continued kissing my jaw, I became a mess of giggles.

He pulled back and glared at me. “What’s funny?” he asked.

I laughed and shook my head. “Nothing,” I said with a nod. “Just…Haewon told me something really funny today.”

He returned to kissing any skin he could find, but I was already too far gone. I continued to laugh like a madman as his lips found every sweet spot on my neck. “Wanna know what she said?” I asked.

“Not really right now,” he said.

I sputtered a laugh and shook my head. “No, I really think right now is the best time.”

He sighed and continued kissing me. “It’s not normal to make conversation while you’re making out with your boyfriend,” he mumbled. “But go on.”

I smirked. “She told me about the time you hooked up.”

“Ugh,” he said, pausing to break away and stare down at me. “Why would you bring that up now?”

I laughed as I stared at him. God, did he look cool. “She said you moaned someone’s name.”

His eyes went wide. “I…”

“She told me it was not her’s,” I said.

He shook his head. “Listen-,”

“She told me,” I said, placing a hand on his neck and pulling him down to look at him closely, “it was my name.”

He groaned and fell on top of me, throwing his limbs out on either side. “God!” he exclaimed.

I laughed, shaking both of us with the force of it, and patted his bare back. “Don’t worry. I think it’s adorable.”

“I can’t believe she told you,” he said with a sigh.

I nodded, shutting my eyes to hold back the tears my laughter had produced. “Mhm.”

“Are you still laughing?”

I shook my head. “Of course not. What kind of person do you think I am to keep poking fun at you like this?” I asked, but my voice broke.

He sat upright and met my eyes sharply. I could see a playful edge to his gaze that I wanted more of. “You’re teasing me.”

I shook my head and bit down on my bottom lip, suppressing the laughter with all my might. “Nope.”

He smirked and narrowed his eyes. “Yes you are.”

“No!” I said, but the moment I opened my mouth too wide, laughter came bubbling forth like a waterfall and I couldn’t stop the hysterics.

He kissed me hard enough to make my head spin and as he pulled away, I was left still smiling. “I’m gonna get you back,” he said.

I laughed and pressed a kiss to his lips before pulling back down. “Try me.”

An Essay on Change

Change. What a jarring word, and an even more jarring concept. What does it mean to change anyway? As a transitive verb, Merriam-Webster defines change as ‘to make radically different.’ My whole life, I always liked the idea of becoming different. Perhaps if I was different, my life might become different too. The second definition this dictionary offers is ‘to replace with another.’ I only realized after leaving and coming back that what I loved, what I valued about change was its power to replace something with another. Replace pain with joy. Replace hardship with fun. What I wanted was not to become different, but to be replaced by someone better. I wanted to abandon all the things that defined me as I was and become something new.

With this mindset, I left for America. I figured, if nothing else, I may return a new person. A better person. I thought, after seeing so much and experiencing so much, I might gain some distance from the haunts of my past: the people who’d slighted me and whom I had slighted, the hurt I’d felt and the ways I’d hurt others, the plague of arrogance and the illness of insecurity. I thought that perhaps by reinventing what it meant to be me, I could look at myself and feel okay.

But that didn’t happen.

And I struggled to understand why. All my life, running from my parents, running from my friends, running from myself: it yielded a sense of peace. Anonymity and steadiness. In my day-to-day life I felt much like a shabby wooden lifeboat struggling not to capsize on choppy, stormy water. And from the beginning, paddling hard with all my might made those choppy waters feel calmer somehow. Like perhaps I could outrun the storm. Perhaps I was faster.

America was beautiful. I saw the Golden Gate Bridge, something I hadn’t seen since I was a child and the memory of which was always accompanied by a painful slew of childhood memories that made it difficult to look at it right away. I sat on the beach in the middle of October and didn’t feel cold. I joined a Beyonce Fan Club and learned that, of course, she is and forever will be Queen Bey. I went to New York during the wintertime and cried on a bench in Central Park. I traveled north and saw the very first Starbucks. Disappointingly, the drinks were just the same as they were anywhere else. I even saw a bald eagle.

Why then, after all of this, did I still feel so empty?

My lifeboat had holes in it. It always had. And while paddling fast made the boat sail over the choppy waves, I was still taking on water at an alarming rate. It was filling up, seeping through those holes into the boat, rotting the wood away and creating new holes. Those holes…I figured by ignoring them I might convince myself they weren’t there. Was I denying a crisis or was I simply scared of admitting it at all?

This essay isn’t about my trip to America. It isn’t about Starbucks or the Met Museum or that bald eagle up north. It is about change. And when I came home, I thought I’d finally done it. I’d finally glimpsed into the eternal heart of me and wrenched it out. I’d finally replaced it with something wiser, something stronger. But my tiny lifeboat was swaying once again on water too wicked to weather with so many holes. The waves were writhing, coiling around the sides of my boat and beckoning me into them. It took me a long time to realize what I had to do to survive.

For a long time, I thought that I could outrun the storm. I realized along the way that I can’t. That’s life isn’t it? There will always be a storm. Just when one ends, another crests over the horizon, ready to flip you over. And while it might be easier to simply paddle as hard as you can in the hopes of finding safety somewhere, perhaps an island where you can find a new boat, but the faster you paddle, the faster you take on water. Your boat becomes flooded and you drown.

I was drowning when I left for America. I was gasping for air and my boat was sinking to the bottom of the ocean. I left my unresolved traumas at home and thought that I’d change if I could only shake them off for good. But running from them only makes them bigger. When I came home I learned that. And when I came home, I learned that despite my sincerest efforts, I hadn’t changed at all from the person I’d been before. I was still bitter, naive, heartbroken, and insecure. I was still me.

That’s when I realized that change doesn’t have to mean replacement. It can mean to make yourself different, to make yourself better. It can mean acknowledging that even though your boat has holes, you can still fix it. You don’t need to throw it away and find a new boat. It can mean looking into the ugliness in yourself and knowing that everyone carries ugliness too. Even someone who seems like the brightest star in the sky. Even someone who smiles everyday. Even someone who has given you love all their life. We are all flawed. Human nature makes it that way. And it is in facing these flaws, facing these traumas, facing these holes in your lifeboat, that you can truly begin to change for the better.

I began to patch the holes when I came home. Instead of wasting my energy trying to outrun the storm, I learned to instead try to prepare for it. I rebuilt my lifeboat, made it better. But at the end of the day, it is still the same lifeboat. It is still me. I couldn’t replace it after all. Now I can look at my lifeboat and I can see the patches I’ve created. I can see the gathering storm clouds and face them with a smile. Because it is me. It is me, only stronger.

I didn’t change in America. I pretended I did by acting like I wasn’t hurt anymore, but all I learned was how to put on a more convincing mask. I was still the same, broken lifeboat I’d been when I left. It was only when I returned to the beginning, when I stopped sprinting as fast as I could, that I could finally make myself radically different. I became strong when I faced the things that left me with holes.

I could only change when I stood still and fixed myself.

I could only change when I learned how to come back.

[yoonminficrec]

hey, I love your blog! you recommend the best fics and I just wanna say thank you! my ask is, do you know any good badboy!jimin fics? preferably on ao3 but im open to other sites!! thank you so much!! also, ik it isn't completed but its v close and its easily the best yoonmin fanfic ive ever read (so far) on ao3. its called 'conflicting arrangement'. I definitely rec it xx have a great day

Thank you so much, I’m glad you like them!! Check out the masterlists page for bad boy Jimin fics :) Thanks for the rec!

Conflicting Arrangement

[yoonminficrec]

Hi! Thank you for always being active! I love all your recs and your suggestions:)) I would want to ask if you know any fics where yoongi is not the jerk? U know since Yoongi is always the bad guy... Just wanna know if you know any where Jimin is the “bad guy” or the one that causes the angst in a fic. Sorry if it’s kinda weird or hard~ Just want a new point of view :)) Thank you!

this bridge is collapsing beneath our feet came to mind!!

-admin n