#there are also a lot of really good posts about similar phenomena in other aspec communities

[apothiplatonic]

i've been thinking about how many definitions of the word “aplatonic” rush to assure the reader that aplatonic people can still have friends...which is technically true, and entirely valid, but still rubs me the wrong way.

i've seen this in articles written by knowledgeable & insightful apl-spec authors, and i've done it myself when explaining aplatonicism to people. it's like we're anticipating criticism, preemptively watering down ourselves and our experiences. “we can still have friends, like you! please don't treat us as inhuman!”

and yeah, “lol, you're aplatonic? you don't want friends?” is a common response to hearing about us, and i understand wanting to address that right away, but...i'm aplatonic and i don't want friends. a lot of aplatonic people don't want friends! just like how a lot of aromantic people don't want romantic partners, and a lot of asexual people don't want sexual partners.

it's absolutely important to include that many apl-spec people have (or want) friends. “not wanting friends” isn't the only aplatonic experience – but it isn't something we need to obfuscate or apologize for, either.

(and although aplatonicism is the subject of this post, this isn't just an apl problem. there are unfortunately still aromantic resources that focus on things like “unlike what the term suggests, they can still have romantic partners!!”, and “aromantic people still feel love!!”, which exclude aros who don't want romantic partners and loveless aros, respectively.)